#Premier Barbershop

[ventures-me]

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Get a personalized beard stylist in Toronto! Our skilled team of barbers at UPPR MGMT will help you find the perfect look to match your style. Enjoy top-quality service in a welcoming atmosphere. Visit our website to get to book your appointment today!

[uppr-mgmt]

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[lovexjoe]

MasterList

Jacob Scipio

❤️‍🔥= includes smut

Armando Aretas

Series

On The Run: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (Completed)

In Love With A Stripper: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Penpals: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4❤️‍🔥 Part 5

♥♡∞:｡.｡｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Amor Prohibido ❤️‍🔥

Armando Boyfriend Concept

Pregnancy w Armando

Sex and Aftercare Concept ❤️‍🔥

Damsel in Distress

Pranking Armando

TikTok Prank

Younger Reader x Armando Concept

Armando losing someone

Intoxicated ❤️‍🔥

Pregnant x Armando

Armando comes home from prison ❤️‍🔥

Vampire Armando ❤️‍🔥

Some Fatherly Advice

Personal Body Guard

Girls Trip

Young Armando

Armando x Mike

Passports

♥♡∞:｡.｡｡･::･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

One Sentence Concepts

It's just a cold

I love you...please don't leave me

Baby..it was one time!

Arguing

Goofball

Don't leave me alone with him!

I didn't think I'd fall in love

Bad Boys 5 Ending

No Innocents

There is no way anyone is that innocent

Did you know!?

I'm a fucking drug dealer!

did you know!?

Yeah you are

You're mine

I need you to trust me

Y'all are some terrible fucking fugitives

Don't test me

Jacob

Boyfriend Headcanon

Vacation Love ❤️‍🔥

Calvin Klein

Bestie at the premiere

Filming Pieces of Her

America's Favorite Girl Goes Live

Daddy Dearest

Bed Talk ❤️‍🔥

Fluff Talk

Insecurities

Barbershop

College Girl ❤️‍🔥

Airport Pickup

Training w gf

Interview with your Co-Star

One Sentence Concept

I gotta make my mark

What would Armando do?

Go baby!

Best Friends

College Girl

Naughty Naughty

Don't make me spank you

Michael Vargas

Michael teaches Reader to shoot

The Hotel ❤️‍🔥

Galan

Saving reader

Galan Headcanon

One Sentence Concept

Im Galan

I miss you

Baby its just me and you

Don Q

One Sentence Concept

You're a beauty

Fuckface!?

I need my mem

You're a beauty

Mind going out with me

Taglist: @yeahnohoneybye @cardi-bre91 @onlysarang @romanreignsluver1 @minwn @nelo0wesker

@armandosbabymama @dyttomori @bbyplutosblog @vergilnelosparda @believeinthefireflies95 @ebsmind @hopetookourvibe @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful

[grusinskayas]

Greta Garbo, with Mauritz Stiller behind her, arriving in Los Angeles, September 1925.

The criticisms of Garbo expressed by the New York executives reached Hollywood and were expanded by MGM employees on the lot. Garbo was called Stiller’s “folly” and his “glad-hand girl,” brought along for sex. Sven-Hugo Borg, Garbo’s interpreter, was appalled by the anti-Swedish slurs aimed at her: “square head,” “flat foot,” “peasant,” “skyscraper.” The individuals making them thought that Garbo didn’t know English, but she knew enough to understand them. Studio flunkies pulled her from movie sets, calling her “the Swede.” If Garbo resisted them, they taunted her, saying that she had been a latherer in a Stockholm barbershop, implying that the job included sex. “Everywhere she turned, people were unkind to her,” Borg wrote. The Saga of Gösta Berling, with English subtitles, was screened at the studio, but the audience laughed at it. The sensitive Garbo was deeply hurt. She was especially insulted by Max Factor, who told her that Swedish women needed to be taught beauty care. Becoming friendly with Pola Negri, Garbo often visited her at her home. “She would sprawl on the rug,” Negri remembered, “and rail against MGM. She was very tall, almost like a man with her large shoulders, and she would mourn: ‘I came here to conquer, and I guess I have to suffer. Someday I will be like Lillian Gish [MGM’s top actress], and then I will tell them all to go to hell.’” She never forgot how badly she was treated when she first came to Hollywood. […] Soon after The Torrent’s premier, she wrote angrily to Mimi Pollak that the Americans were stubborn; they never understood anyone and they never showed compassion. In February 1926 Garbo wrote to Lars Saxon that talking to [Louis B.] Mayer was like “hitting your head against a brick wall.” By March, when her sister died and Stiller left MGM, Greta was desperate. She wrote to Saxon: “I don’t understand why God suddenly meant me such harm. It’s as though a part of me has been cut away.” Hubert Voight, the MGM publicist who had befriended her in New York, was dumbfounded when he visited Hollywood in the spring of 1928 and found Garbo acting like a diva, “unapproachable, stern, haughty.” That persona was important; it became central to her life and her acting, as a way of coping with situations beyond her control. But there was also the childish Garbo, who acted like a clown and dressed in adolescent male clothing, partly as a disguise, but also because she liked to cross-dress and to act like a clown. Or she could be dramatic, crying and raging on request. There was also a depressed Garbo, who exercised to relieve her melancholy, or when life seemed too difficult, simply went to bed.

Ideal Beauty: The Life and Times of Greta Garbo by Lois W. Banner

[bunniandhoney]

Maybe too Little, Probably too Late

part 2 of

The day YN sent Jacob away was pure torture. She’d cried for the rest of the night in that one spot on the floor. Only her kitten Bilbo seemed to care, nudging at YN to be held. But when YN moved from that spot, early the next morning, something shifted.

Her eyes were swollen and her whole body ached, but she was different. She had to start over, completely over. After a quick shower YN left her sad apartment and went straight to the nearest barbershop.

“I want it all gone!” she says determined.

“Uuhmm, are you sure this is quite a bit of hair—“

“Yep, all of it please.”

YN walks out with the shortest haircut she’d ever had in her life, and a weight off her shoulders. Jacob loved her hair, there’d been many nights where Jacob would softly massage her scalp, putting YN to sleep. Now she wanted all memories of Jacob gone.

After a quick breakfast and her new haircut, YN decided to redo her apartment. She threw away everything that had to do with her now ex best friend; his old uni sweatshirt, his favorite “I ♥️ London” mug, his spare toothbrush, and every last thing that remotely reminded him.

Pulling another garbage bag to the front of her apartment YN stops because she realizes that in her 600sqft apartment Jacob filled up 3 large bags, and now her whole apartment seems empty.

She truly doesn’t know what to do when they come to pick up her garbage the next morning. Every moment for the next 3 months is like this, her being stung by the depravity of Jacob’s absence and its hell. All she can do is cuddle up to Bilbo, the only thing she has left that reminds her of Jacob, that she wouldn’t dare to part with.

Their shared friends eventually caught on about their split around month 4; when YN snapped at Gracie’s hendo weekend because the girls refused to stop asking about her “movie stay bestie”. By month 5 she was finally starting to feel free from him, YN was finally feeling like she was her own person.

But during month 6, YN had traveled home for the christmas holiday. This holiday would probably be the hardest because not only would she miss her and Jacob’s Christmas traditions, but she might run into him.

Their mums had been best friends since they were in primary school, but YN’s mom moved to another country for university and they’d lost touch. But once YN’s family moved back to London, nothing stopped the pair from rekindling their friendship and no “childish riff” (as her mom called it) between their children would stop their friendship either.

So YN stayed holed up in her old bedroom for almost her entire holiday. Until christmas eve when her mom came banging on her door, telling her she needed to come down and speak to the guests of their annual Christmas eve party. YN knew this was coming, her mom was practically the Martha Stewart of Christmas and would not let her only child spoil a perfectly good Christmas.

Luckily, it seemed that the Scipio’s decided not to show tonight, much to her mother’s dismay, so YN dropped her wallflower act and paraded around as the hostess her mother taught her to be. When she turns from the kitchen after offering to refill a few drinks, she stops dead in her tracks because she sees him, well she sees the back of him.

Jacob is already being clapped on the shoulder and rugged into hugs as she watches for a second, and she wants to join so badly. To run to him and say how michel she’s missed him and to see how he’s doing ,

how he’s been. Those thoughts keep winding until she realizes that their answers won’t include each other, his certainly won’t. Jacob’s will be filled with daring adventures and a beautiful fiancé.

6 months without him and she has nothing to show for it. YN turns back around putting the drinks on the counter, ignoring her hosting responsibilities, and quietly slips out to the back garden. The evening snow chills her even with the thick sweater. Her deep breaths are filling her lungs with frost, and she’s almost calmed down, until she hears the back door slide open.

YN stills completely, as if it will hide her, when the sound of feet crunching against snow moves closer to her.

“It’s right cold out here my love.” Her mom says pulling her jacket closer around her body. YN looks back at her mom, realizing the breath she was holding.

Looking at her daughter, YN’s mom's heart cracks just a little. The older woman knew something had happened between the two, but she allowed YN to spare her any details. As she gets closer to her daughter she can see the tears that YN is trying to blink away.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be back in a second.” YN says wiping the tears back.

“No my love I think party time might be over for you. It’s okay if you want to rest for a bit, it’s been quite the day.”

Nodding her head, YN moves to go back inside, but just as she reaches the door she hears her mother clear her throat.

“I’m not all too sure what’s happened, but I hope you two can figure it out. You two were made to be in each other’s lives, one way or another.”

With a sigh YN heads back upstairs to her room, to curl back under the covers. This time she doesn’t cry, but she still feels that ache in her chest, as if her heart calls for the man downstairs.

Month 7 kicks off the new year and YN is committed to her “New Year, New Me” mantra. To the point where she is letting her friends finally set her up on dates. She didn’t care to participate too often before, as she hoped Jacob would finally see her as a potential girlfriend and after 2 months of these blind dates YN decides she prefers unrequited love.

“Oh c’mon YN just one more date!” Gracie says again, sipping on her third mimosa.

“I don’t know Gracie, I just don’t think I'll ever find a forever kind of guy. 8 dates in 8 weeks and they were all awful.” YN grimaces remembering the serial farter from date number 5.

“Look, just one more time, for me? He’s such a great guy and he’s been asking me to set him up for months at this point. I think you two would be a perfect pair!” Gracie says with a slight slur.

YN tries hard not to think about how she ended up here, getting drunk and being slightly guilted into another horrid date. “Fine, but this is the last one. You can't vicariously be single through me anymore after this!”

With a boisterous laugh Gracie gets on her phone to set up YN’s next date.

—

YN looks absolutely hot, as she did for every last one of her dates. But after date number three, the thrill of being a hot date certainly wore off. Matt didn’t seem like a bad guy at all through text, and certainly wasn’t bad looking from his pictures, though the same could be said about the others.

So she really wasn’t too thrilled when he was 15 minutes late. Now, had she known that Matt was 10x hotter than his picture she might’ve excused him, but without giving him a second glance she tells him that she doesn’t think this is going to work and gets up to leave their date.

It takes him a second to realize what happened but when he does Matt is out of his seat and jogging after her. “Hey, you’re right," he says, still keeping a good pace behind her.” I shouldn’t have been late, but I was rescuing a cat from a tree for an older lady in my building; I couldn’t leave without at least trying.”

YN pauses just as she places her hand on her cat door, she quickly whips her head around giving him a once over. “Did you really rescue a cat?” she says looking over her shoulder at him.

“Not at all, but you look like you have a soft spot for cats, and I'm late because I burned a hole through my shirt. Which is why I'm wearing a jacket when it’s 96 degrees and I smell slightly like smoke.”

YN turns all the way around, staring at Matt as if he’d grown another head, but a split second later she is doubled over in laughter. A real belly laugh, one she hadn’t felt in a long while, and that’s when she knew she would be alright again.

Well at least this is the story she tells Jacob when he angrily asks how she could possibly be engaged during the dinner of his premiere party.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

heeey 🥹 sorry about the tardiness on part 2, i fear the big girl job had me slumped!

but WE BACK, with a bit more angst too! i’ve already started on part iii, and i’m hoping for a happy ending.

i’ll never stop thanking you all for the love 🤍

xoxo

Bunni

[jules-has-notes]

Sh-Boom — VoicePlay music video

VoicePlay as a group has its roots in barbershop music, so tackling a doo-wop classic was a natural fit. But being the innovative bunch they are, they couldn't just recreate the sound of the original recording. It's a feel-good song, and they had to have a little extra fun with it. With some retro inspiration and a dash of 21st century zhuzhing up, they delivered a real bop.

Details:

title: Sh-Boom (Life Could Be a Dream)

original performers: The Chords

written by: James Edwards, Carl Feaster, Claude Feaster, James Keyes, & Floyd McRae

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci & Hannah Juliano

release date: 30 August 2019

My favorite bits:

the slightly static-y, muffled sound and muted colors of the intro section to pay homage to the original version

Earl's clear, sweet timbre on the lead vocals

using Layne's percussion entrance as a transition to full audio

that lovely bell chord leading into the second verse

the steady swingy-ness of the rhythm section

Geoff gesturing along with the delayed ♫ "a-bove" ♫ while waiting to continue his bass line

the cool record-skip effects they added

the lovely descending riff Earl puts on ♫ "so fine" ♫

that bouncy little descending bass transition into the second chorus

J.None coming in slightly early on a belted ♫ "above" ♫

Layne slipping in some more modern record scratching and electronic sounds as the rhythm of the lyrics gets more adventurous

Geoff's scoop up into the lead melody and lyrics

that slightly dissonant harmony behind Geoff's first line

the rhythmic freedom in Earl's belted ♫ "I'm the only one you love" ♫

J's adorable head waggle as the trio starts "ya-da-da"-ing

the center trio's coordinated pop up into falsetto

that crunchy ending chord

the captions describing Layne's final descending ingressives as a "slow wind down like a tired robot with a hangover" 🤖 💤

additional props to Eli for wearing some darn snazzy shoes, knowing that they'd be very visible from where he's perched

Trivia:

In a departure from their usual studio spaces, VoicePlay filmed this video at Oliver's Classic Cars in Winter Park. It was a combination of a vintage automobile showroom / museum, and an event venue. The guys were quite taken with it.

Their camera operator for the shoot, Chadd Winston, was an old friend from the theme park performance circuit. Among their many shared jobs, he had been in the City Sounds street singers rotations at Universal Studios with the guys in the early 2000s, both with Eli in Japan, and with the 4:2:Five/VP boys in Orlando.

The cover art was once again designed by Rek Dunn.

The Chords' songwriting for this piece was inspired by the sounds of their neighborhood, and many of the seemingly nonsensical lyrics refer to people and places they heard every day.

VoicePlay's version of the song was recorded 65 years after the original topped the Billboard charts in 1954.

The video premiered on Geoff's mom's birthday, and he made sure to give her a shoutout in the YouTube comments. (Aww.)

Their Sing-Off colleagues, Street Corner Renaissance, had recorded their own version of the song back in 2012.

[destinyc1020]

Do not take this the wrong way but what is Tomdayas and Tom stans problem with Timothee it’s honestly weird. They get mad and hate on Tim and Z’s friendship and when stans post about it saying it’s not real and they are playing it up. But Tomdayas can say stuff like loving Claire and tuwaine’s friendship when Z’s mom is for sure not friends with him although I’m sure they are cool and cordial. It’s just gives off the vibe Z can’t have male friends or anyone one of the opposite sex around her unless she knows them through Tom and it’s weird.

Idk I just think it’s funny the same way tondayas say people are doing too just h abkut tim and Z’s friendship when I mean they gotta be cool if they was shopping for his apartment and she helped him clean it up. But it’s just shows how Tom stans get offended on his behalf and how poorly they think of Z. Because what’s the problem with her having a male friend. Stop worrying about the weirdos that purposely ship then to get a ride of Tomdayas and understand Z is allowed to have a life outside of Tom and that includes friends of the opposite sex.

(Sorry in advance to @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx and her ADHD lol 🤭, but some things just have to be said)

TL;DR Version:

Anon, there are a lot of things you have misconceptions about, but I will just say that a LOT of the answers to your questions are due to Timdaya stans. Go blame them. Us Tomdaya Fans over here are just tired of the constant disrespect. That's basically it.

Click below 👇 to read the "LONG" version if you dare.... 😏

The LONG Version:

Do not take this the wrong way but what is Tomdayas and Tom stans problem with Timothee it’s honestly weird.

Most Tomdaya fans I know don't necessarily have a problem with Timmy. They have a problem with Timdaya stans or Timothee STANS. Even if some Tomdaya stans DON'T like Timmy, it's more so because Timdaya stans are annoying, and/or Timmy stans can be insufferable and view him as superior to every other actor out here in his age bracket. Not to mention, a lot of his stans bully Tom online. 🙄 So, is it any surprise why SOME (notice I said some) Tomdaya fans might not feel all that particularly warm feelings towards Timmy?? 🤔

Just for the record, I don't have anything against Timmy personally. 🤷🏾‍♀️

They get mad and hate on Tim and Z’s friendship and when stans post about it saying it’s not real and they are playing it up.

It's because Timdayas do the most, and SHIP Z with Timmy, when she is clearly in a relationship with Tom, and has been for years. It's very disrespectful imo. Why isn't this sinking in w/you all? 🥴 Idk why this is so difficult for some of you to grasp.

Second, why are you all always posting about Timmy and Z's "friendship", which is something you barely even rarely see unless they're filming or promoting Dune together? This "friendship" thing just sounds like another sly way for Timdaya stans to try to ship Z with Tim on the down low, and many Tomdaya fans see right through it. 😒

Also, Timmy and Z might be "industry friends", but even they don't seem to be "besties" like you all think. So a lot of the Timdaya "friendship" is OVERhyped, for sure imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But Tomdayas can say stuff like loving Claire and tuwaine’s friendship when Z’s mom is for sure not friends with him although I’m sure they are cool and cordial.

Girl.... Obviously you haven't been in the fandom long enough if you're making silly statements like this. 😒 Claire is indeed friends with Tuwaine.

She's even made him jewelry.

Claire and Tuwaine hugging at a premiere....👇 That was a loooong ol' hug too lol. 😅 That wasn't just a: "Oh hey, yea I remember you..." in passing type of hug.

Claire and Whitney (Z's cousin) went to go see Tuwaine's play "Barbershop" years ago when it was playing in LA.

That's not just a "cool" and "cordial" thing imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Tuwaine and friends out to eat w/Claire in attendance....

Idk I just think it’s funny the same way tondayas say people are doing too just h abkut tim and Z’s friendship

I have no clue what you're trying to say here....

It’s just gives off the vibe Z can’t have male friends or anyone one of the opposite sex around her unless she knows them through Tom and it’s weird.......Because what’s the problem with her having a male friend.

For the LAST time .... NOBODY is saying that Z can't have male friends. 🙄

Tomdaya fans just hate the stupid Timdaya shipping and constant disrespect to Tom, and even Zendaya herself. Blame Timdayas, not US.

Z has been very close friends with Kamil for YEARS, and NOOOO Tomdaya fans have ever had an issue with that. You know why?? Because people weren't being disrespectful and shipping Kamil with Zendaya.

Fans have been VERY supportive of Z's friendship with Darnell as well. Keep in mind, stupid people on the internet aren't shipping her with Darnell, or reading into small miniscule gestures and trying to imply a romance (or even a FUTURE romance) aka..... things that just aren't there. 🙄 And quite frankly, (IMO) will NEVER be there. Stop trying to make fetch happen with Timmy and Z.

As you can see, Z CAN have male friends. Nobody has even made any issues about Z and her co-stars Josh and Mike from "Challengers". They are just about as "friends" with her as she is with Timmy right?? Soooo.... Don't you see what the difference is???

In fact, I'd even venture to say that nooobody had an issue with Timmy when Z was dating JE, and Z and Timmy were both spotted in that Bed Bath & Beyond together in NYC. Literally NOBODY made a fuss about that. Most people weren't shipping them during that time. Gee...wonder why...😒

Anyway, Idk why some of you all can't see that Timmy and Z are in two totally different stages of their lives rn. Z is practically engaged to Tom......Timmy's been living the single "Bachelor Life" for years. Nothing wrong with that at all, but it's just facts. Call me when Timmy has had a relationship with a woman that actually lasts longer than 2 years before you even think to be shipping Z with him lol. 😅

Believe me Anon....NOBODY in Tomdaya World is threatened by Timmy or worried for Tom's sake. Zendaya loves Tom to death. Everyone with a pair of EYES can see that.

Tomdaya fans just don't like Z being shipped with male actors who are NOT her boyfriend, and male fandoms who constantly disrespect her AND her boyfriend. Plain and simple. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Why you can't see this very simple fact is beyond me.

[jgroffdaily]

In an alternate universe, there was a little more Looking.

For two seasons, fans of the HBO series watched Patrick (Jonathan Groff), Agustín (Frankie J. Alvarez), and Dom (Murray Bartlett) live their (often messy) lives in San Francisco. By the season 2 finale in 2015, Dom was mending his fractured friendship with Doris (Lauren Weedman), Agustín was happy with new love interest Eddie (Daniel Franzese), and Patrick ended his relationship with Kevin (Russell Tovey) only to end the finale in a chair at his ex Richie's (Raúl Castillo) barbershop.

The trio was starting to figure out what they wanted — or in Patrick's case, didn't want — before things were cut short. Instead of a season 3, HBO greenlit a movie to wrap it all up. In the end, Agustín married Eddie, Patrick reunited with Richie, and Dom's story ended a bit unfinished.

While the 2016 film provided some closure, it left fans wondering what would've happened if there had been a third season instead. Here Looking creator Michael Lannan shares some of his team's original plans — and some additional unused ideas, like an alternate plan for the season two premiere.

Patrick

Looking explored relationships outside of traditional monogamy through couples like Agustín and Frank (O-T Fagbenle) and Dom and Lynn (Scott Bakula) — and Patrick would have followed suit in season 3 after breaking up with Kevin. "Patrick has this standard love triangle, and it felt like it was time to shatter that trope," Lannan says. One potential was Patrick entering into a relationship with someone very comfortable with who they are and whose sexuality was more fluid, which would have contrasted starkly with often rigid Patrick. "In the best case scenario, I think Patrick was going to learn to take himself a little less seriously through this relationship, while also feeling more confident in his own identity," Lannan explains. Another idea was Patrick entering a throuple, giving him some perspective on his views on relationships.

The episodes that almost were

"We almost did a Burning Man episode, we actually got all the clearances for it. We were one of the first shows to ever get permission to shoot at Burning Man," Lannan recalls of what they'd planned for the season 2 premiere before going in another direction. There was also discussion of the characters participating in the AIDS/LifeCycle (an annual bike-ride fundraiser that goes from San Francisco to Los Angeles) — and an earthquake episode.

The Patrick-Dom of it All

Looking often referenced the almost hookup that blossomed into Dom and Patrick's friendship, but the pals almost actually went through with it: "We had an idea that Dom and Patrick were going to go out one night looking for hookups and then they go home with another couple that wants to have a foursome. They end up doing it, which is fun, hot, surprising, and weird for them," reveals Lannon, who also considered having the two move in together.

Is more Looking coming?

"We would absolutely bring people back together," says the creator. He's confident about everyone's participation, they just need the right story to reunite the characters. A Christmas special is one idea that has been thrown around, so put that on your wish list.

[gallawitchxx]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🧡

oooh how fun! i haven't acknowledged my children in a while, hello children! ��

- - - -

M8TE - M8TE is the premiere app for unmated alphas and omegas. Just enter your location and the dates of your rut or heat cycle, and you’ll be instantly paired with up to 3 potential matches in your area. Who you choose is up to you! Just be sure to tick the appropriate boxes on your profile to signal if you’re looking for a mate or a one-time thing. M8TE. What are you waiting for? (modern a/b/o au)

where i end & you begin - Mickey is dead. And he’ll stay dead unless his soulmate can see him. He knows that’s Ian. Because….come on. But he’s only got two weeks to prove that--if he can get Ian to see him, then he gets to live again. If he can’t? Well, then it’s a one way trip to the Great Unknown. The thing is, the last time Mickey saw Ian it was behind some glass and Ian was not-so-convincingly promising to wait…. (s7 canon divergent ghost!mickey)

(g)loved up - Saturday has become their unofficial day together, until one Saturday, Ian has to work. Mickey answers more tumblr asks that day than he has since they started spending Saturdays together. By Tuesday, the packages begin arriving. (hornygaythug tumblr au)

to hold between your teeth - Ian and Mickey try out their new toy--a red ball gag that's perfect for Mickey's bratty mouth. (canon compliant porn)

care for a cut? - a barbershop au written 100 words at a time based on galladrabbles prompts! (barber!mickey + shaggy!ian)

[bychertryntheatyr]

Möchte jemand eine Rasur? - Sweeney Todd

Anscheinend positioniert sich meine Oper Dortmund immer mehr als Musical Standort. Grund genug für mich dahin zu gehen. Noch vor der Saison eine kleine Teaserpostkarte bekommen und dann Samstag zur Premiere von Sweeney Todd. Hab ich davon schonmal gehört? Nope. Hab ich mir die Story durchgelesen? Nein?! Warum sollte ich? Das ist eine deutschsprachige Produktion. Den Plot werde ich schon verstehen.

Dies Loch trägt den Namen London. - What a dump!

Hinter dem halbtransparenten Vorhang mit dem Canaletto Blick auf die Themse und Ihre Brücken verbirgt sich die Bühne. Erst eine große Orgel, dann ein Schiffsdeck. Sweeny Todd, ehemals bekannt als Benjamin Barker, legt mit dem Schiffsjungen Anthony in London an. Was ein Scheißhaufen. Scheißhaufen, auch weil RIchter Turnip ihn durch List nach Australien verbannt und seine Frau ermordet und Tocher in Vormundschaft genommen hat. Wie wärs mit Rache?

Mögen Sie Pasteten? - Die schmecken ja schlimmer als die Pest.

Aber wo lässt sich Rache nehmen? Richtig! Über Londons schlechtesten Pasteten Laden. Das Bühnenbild hat sich nun von Schiffsdeck auf überdimensionierten Holzofen angehoben. Ohh ich liebe diese einfache Verwandlung nur durch hoch/runterfahren der Bühne. Mrs. Lovett versucht ihn von ihren Backkreationen zu überreden. Sweeney ist aber an dem Zimmer obendrüber interessiert. Nach einem Tausch Pastete gegen Zimmer ist der neue alte Barbershop eröffnet.

Bist du horny auf Johanna? Die ist erst 16?

Zurück zu Anthony. Er irrt durch London und kauf einen Vogel. "Den schönsten Singer hätte ich gerne" - "Die singen alle schön. Habse blind gemacht. 24/7 nur geträller" Der Vogel hat sofort Glück und wird dem Matrosen geklaut und umgebracht. Dennoch. Aus der Kohlentür beklagt Johanna (Du geile Sau!) ihr Leid bei Richter Turnip eingesperrt und sein Mündel (was ist dieses Wort bitte??) sein zu müssen. Naja das Mädchen ist ja schon hübsch und ich bin Matrose und Single. Die will ich heiraten! Koste es was es wolle.

Der Italienische Joker verkauft eine Haartinktur aus Pisse und Tinte

Der Ofen ist nun ein Marktplatz. Pirellis Miracle Medicine wird angepriesen. Eine Wundertinktur preist Tobias in langem wallenden blonden Haar an. Sein Chef, der Italienische Joker himself, sucht Freiwillige. Leider kommt Sweeney vorbei und lässt den Schwindel auffliegen. Zeit für ein D D D Duell!! Ein Rasierduell zwischen Pirelli und Todd. Es kann nur einen besten Barbier geben. Zwei freiwillige und eine Ballade von Pirelli später setzt Sweeny einmal an und rasiert in Windeseile und ohne Schnitt. So gewinnt man ein Duell und neue Kundschaft in der Fleetstreet. Dies wird der Büttel Bamford des Richters sein.

Selfflagelation. Get shaved, get pussy.

Richter Turnip versucht sich aus dem Kopf zu treiben seine Zwangsadoption zu heiraten. Das muss ich mir auspeitschen, denkt er sich. Leider wird er dadurch zu horny und will Johanna dann doch heiraten. Zeit für einen frischen Bartschnitt. Da stehen die Ladys drauf. Da gabs doch so einen neuen Barbier in der Fleet Street?

In diesem Shop ist nun wieder unser Joker, ehh Tinkturenpanscher Pirelli. Natürlich pissig. Übrigens ist er gar kein Italiener. Sondern kommt aus Wien. Der Akzent ist eindeutig. Leider ist er zu übermütig und nennt Sweeney bei seinem echten Namen. Weil, er war damals sein Assistent. Darauf steht dann leider die Todesstrafe. Machste nichts. Ab in die Herdplatte? mit dir! Sweenys Laden ist ja über dem großen Ofen.

Zwischendrin gestehen sich Anthony und Johanna ihre Liebe. Sonntag hauen Sie ab und heiraten.

Was machen wir eigentlich mit der Leiche? - WIe wärs mit Pastete?

Turnip ist im Laden angekommen. Einmal alles ohne Schnitt bitte. Das lässt sich Todd nicht zweimal sagen und setzt zum finalen Schnitt a... "Hey, Chef. Kannich..." Anthony stürmt in den Laden rein und verhindert leider einen Mord. Turnip hat natürlich auch bemerkt, wie er haarscharf dem Messer entkommen ist und stürmt hinaus. Anyways Tony hat da diese Johanna kennen gelernt, die gefangen gehalten wird, will sie heiraten und sie erstmal im Laden verstecken.

Mrs. Lovett fragt nebenbei was denn jetzt mit dem toten Wiener gemacht werden soll? Nun, deine Pasteten schmecken eh nicht. Wie wäre es wir mischen die mit in die Füllung? Und wir verwandeln viele Berufe singend metaphorisch in kleine Meatpies.

Köstliche Pasteten kosten nicht viel Moneten

Wieder aller erwarten läuft der Pastetenladen nun wie Sau. Die gute Geheimzutat aus der ersten Etage. Sweeney ist in Mordlaune. Eigentlich jeder der es verdient, bekommt seine Rasur und den Tod. Oben anständig bei Petrus erscheinen, unten anständig zu Pastete verarbeitet werden. Was ein Traum! Außer für Tobias. Nachdem sein Chef spurlos verschwunden ist, arbeitet er nun als Helfer in Mrs. Lovetts Pie Shop. Wenn er nur wüsste. Tony sucht und findet seine und Todds Johanna in der örtlichen Irrenanstalt. (Gibt es da eigenltich ein besseres deutsches Wort für? Google hilft mir da auch nicht.) Er wird dort allerdings fast vom Büttel verhaftet.

Your obedient Servant, Sweeney Todd

Mrs. Lovett will nun mit Todd an die See ziehen. Die Toten, Pasteten und Tote in Pasteten hinter sich lassen. Aber erst muss der Richter sterben. Also wird Anthony zurück ins Asylum geschickt, sag du willst Haare für ne Perücke von den Irren da haben, klau Johanna und bring sie her. Danach schreibt Sweeney einen Brief an den Richter. "Yo, hab gehört deine Verlobte kommt in den Laden, willste die vielleicht zur Hochzeit abholen? Sorry wegen dem Mordversuch. Kussi!"

Vorher kommt aber der Büttel vorbei. Anscheinend stinkt es irgendwie menschlich aus der Bäckerei. Kannichmal durchlüften? Das gefällt Mrs. Lovett nicht. Wie unhuflich! Außerdem ist die Tür zur Backkammer abgeschlossen. Hab den Schlüssel oben liegen lassen. Mr. Todd kommt erst später wieder. Hehe. Aber es gibt eine kostenlose Rasur! In der Backkammer ist übrigens Tobias eingesperrt. Er hat leider Pirellis Geldbörse in ihrer Hand erkannt. Er ist da nun zur Sicherheitsverwahrung bis geklärt ist, was mit dem Wissenden von Pirellis Mord geschehen soll. Außerdem findet er in der Pastetenmasse Haare und Fingernägel. Wäre das nicht genug fällt ihm eine frische Leiche entgegen. Er flieht in die Kanalisation. Das bekommt Lovett mit. Da muss noch wer sterben...

Backe backe Kuchen, der Bäcker hat..

Anthony ist wieder mit Johanna da. Und geht wieder eine Kutsche organisieren. Da kommt eine Bettlerin hinein, bisher nur Beiwerk und erkennt Sweeney. Super, noch mehr die mich erkennen, dann musst du leider auch sterben, sagt er und sie fällt die Klappe in den Keller hinunter. Da kommt schon der Richter rein. Johanna ist jeden Moment da, noch eine kurze Rasur? Jetzt bloß nicht das Messer... BENJAMIN BARKEEEERR!?!?!?! *schnitt* Hast du grad den Richter? Johanna hätte sich vllt nicht als Matrose verkleiden sollen, klar dass ihr Dad sie nicht erkennt und nun töten wi.. Wer schreit da unten? Lovett ist etwas mit den Leichen überfordert. Die Bettlerin in den Ofen? Aber Sweeney erkennt plötzlich seine Frau. Du sagstest Sie sei Tod? Ich hab grad meine totgeglaubte Frau umgebracht? Du gehst jetzt mal schön in den Ofen und denkst drüber nach was du getan hast. Da stürmt von hinten Tobias geistesabwesend aus der Kanalisation und schlitzt nun Todd selber die Kehle auf.

Alle Tod. Alle zu Pastete verarbeiten. Vorhang.

[techdriveplay]

Sydney’s premier Face of Man marks a new era of luxury grooming with its flagship city location

Sydney’s premier men’s grooming lounge, Face of Man recently made its debut in its reimagined location on York Street and has now expanded its services with a dedicated Face of Grooming barbershop. The high-end grooming spot continues to innovate and challenge the norms of the modern man’s grooming routine, now featuring treatments and products from the luxurious British skincare brand,…

[fearsmagazine]

DECADE OF THE DEAD comes to life with Film Mode Entertainment and makes Cannes World Market Premiere.

Film Mode Entertainment (FME), Flynn Forest Productions, Sight & Sound Productions and Lucky 13 Productions announce the Cannes World Market Premiere and screening of newly completed action/adventure, Decade of the Dead. The film stars Sean Patrick Thomas (Till, The Tragedy of Macbeth, Lying and Stealing), Shane Johnson (Power), Jenna Leight Green (Sabrina, Wicked), Corsica Wilson (In a World…, Dead Season) and Marissa Merrill (End, Dead Season). Decade of the Dead is directed by Adam Deyoe and Fairai Branscombe Richmond and written by Loren Semmens and Adam Deyoe. The film was produced by Loren Semmens, Bryan Spicer and Joel Michaely.

Decade of the Dead takes place ten years after the apocalypse, where a group of bounty hunters finds refuge on a tropical island only to discover it’s ruled by a deranged cult leader with plans to take over the post-apocalyptic world. Stuck between the cult and the relentless hordes of the walking dead, the survivors must fight for their lives.

Sean Patrick Thomas’ extensive body of work includes critically acclaimed features Chinonye Chukwu’s “Till”, Joel Coen’s “The Tragedy of Macbeth” with Denzel Washington, and Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” with Hugh Jackman. His current role as Polarity in “Gen V,” Amazon’s The Boys spin off, has introduced him to a whole new generation of fans. As well as countless other memorable films such as the iconic “Cruel Intentions”, additional credits include the hit ensemble franchise “Barbershop”; and the fan favorite “Save The Last Dance”, which garnered him the Young Hollywood Award for Standout Performance; and two MTV Movie Awards, for Breakthrough Male Performance and Best Kiss. He is repped by Innovative Artists and Greenlight Management.

Film Mode Entertainment has acquired international sales rights for Decade of the Dead and is presenting the film and promo-reel to buyers in Cannes for the first time. The deal was negotiated by Andrew van den Houten of 79th & Broadway Entertainment on behalf of the producers with Clay Epstein of FME.

“We’re thrilled to be working with the amazingly talented Decade of the Dead team, who have successfully crafted an action-adventure film that raises the bar on one of the most popular and lucrative genres in the marketplace today,” said Epstein. “Decade of the Dead will wow audiences across the globe and leave them on the edge of their seats throughout a wild ride, to the very last shot of the movie.”

[letamreviews]

Mini Review - The Blackening (2023)

i really like it (high tier?) 🤔

Quite a Black-ass funny-ass horror, but much more of an interesting Black movie than a horror. Like, the main horror is in the racist murderer at a cabin in the woods. Like,... I'm not even gonna explain that. You either get it or you don't. Which brings me to the main thing I wanna say. This really is for Black people. I wouldn't recommend it for people who aren't in some way "Black" (biracials, getcha ass in here).

I'm serious when I say this isn't for Euros. Like, y'all really shouldn't* watch this unless you were out of the blue invited by Black people or are yourself very involved with Blackness in some way. (whatever dafuq that means) Should full-on Euros who have no actual exposure to Blackness see this movie? Absolutely not. Everything's dangerous in the wrong hands, and some of y'all asses are gonna do the absolute wrong shit with this. Intentionally or not.

*Pre-Edit: I heard a room of Black people (including some cast members) completely disagree with me in Way Up With Angela Yee’s video (timestamped).

Now that I'm done talking to the non-Blacks, let's get on with it.

for the African Descended

Y'all, this some shit. God damn. So glad I just happened to see this in a small theatre filled to a third with mostly Afros. Got to enjoy the reactions almost as much as the movie. Is it great, though? As a Black movie, yeah. As a horror movie, nah. As a Black horror, yep. As a Black comedy horror, hell yeah. And to be real, I don't think non-Black reviews/opinions/criticisms should even be taken into account for this one. Like, I read 7 recent reviews on Letterboxd before getting to Darryl Buckhanan's and seeing all the convincing I needed. This ain't for everybody. And I'm glad it ain't. Let ma ass be. Real talk,... how many o'y'all would'a failed that shit? 💀

Real talk, I didn't trust this movie to not be for Euros because of the director (Tim Story). Here me out! Of his 23 movies listed on Letterboxd, I've only seen five: Barbershop (2002), Fantastic Four (2005), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), Think Like a Man (2012) (they just had to put Rihana’s abuser in this 🙄), and this one. While I enjoyed all of the other four, I 1) haven't seen his other Black-casted works and 2) strongly suspected Shaft (2019) of being made for Euros everytime I saw its preview in theatres. Never bothered to confirm that suspicion, but I don't feel the need to. Fortunately, that review convinced me of this one and I saw it yesterday.

Side Notes:

Would not recommend watching 3Peat Presents: The Blackening - Uncensored before the movie if you're already interested. If you ain't, then go ahead and ask yourself if you want a feature length film inspired by this 4 minute Comedy Central skit. (the answer is yes)

Already saw it and interested in hearing some of the cast and crew talk about it? Here ya go:

‘The Blackening’ Cast on How a Comedy Short Turned Into the Feature Film | TIFF 2022 - The Hollywood Reporter

list of Critqal's mini interviews with the cast

THE BLACKENING Hilarious Cast Interview | Grace Byers, Antoinette Robertson and Sinqua Walls - Jake's Takes

The Blackening "World Premiere" | Cast Q&A TIFF 2022 - Antoinette Robertson

We Can't All Die First! Dishin' All Things, Horror & Comedy with The Blackening Movie Cast! - Dish Nation

The Blackening Interviews: Dewayne Perkins, Jermaine Fowler, Tim Story & More - JoBlo Celebrity Interviews

The Blackening Cast and Writers on Subverting Horror Tropes and Cracking Up on Set | TIFF 2022 - Collider Interviews

The Blackening Cast Talks Chemistry Between Cast Members, Horror Movies + More - Way Up With Angela Yee

The Cast Of 'The Blackening' Speaks On Creating A Horror Film From The Black Perspective + More - Breakfast Club Power 105.1 FM

Waitin' for my favorite Afro streamers to talk about The Blackening. fuckers better come on

Happy Juneteenth, mofos

Pre-Edit: I realized while listening to interviews and doing my Crew Data that this movie probably won't fully succeed unless Euros watch it too. That’s the business side of it. I’m speaking on more of a personal matter in comparison. meh 🤷🏿‍♂️ Shortly after typing the above, I heard a room of Black people (including some cast members) completely disagree with me in Way Up With Angela Yee’s video (timestamped).

Tests:

I’m gonna skip 4 crew tests and hold off on posting Crew Data for now. Here’s the test process for the other 16, though.

[instylemensalonlagunabeach]

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[mermaidinthecity]

BarberShop: The Next Cut Premiere in Hollywood, California - April 6, 2016

[xplrvibes]

The Sam and Colby fandom is too powerful, we've overwhelmed cinemark lol. It's funny how they just kept adding a couple more cinemas to show the first conjuring episode and the fandom kept selling them out and now they're like 'fuck it, just show it in all our cinemas. Clearly we're gonna make a shit ton of money from this.' I am so amused by this. What should this fandom do next with its great power?

I do wonder if it's sunk in yet with Sam and Colby that they're kind of a big deal these days lol

I just wonder how the coffe-in-the-middle-of-a-barbershop sales are going, honestly.

Of all the things snc have been schilling lately, barbershop coffee is the weirdest thing to me, sorry. Who wants to drink a latte around all those chemicals and loose falling hair?! 🤣

Anyway, the movie theater. I am very happy for all involved that this whole endeavor is going well- but honestly, it's not surprising to me. Movie theaters aren't exactly putting butts in the seats every weekend anymore, like they did back in the day. The advent of on-demand, the crazy prices, the fear (US people know what I mean by that)...movie theaters are slowly going by way of local malls and becoming mostly obsolete. But, by bringing in speciality events that dedicated fans will pay to attend- like Taylor Swift and her concert show or two extremely popular youtubers premiering a video they've been hyping up ad nauseum for months- they're guaranteed to recoup some of their losses in other areas.

From a marketing perspective, this is an interesting decision for snc to be making. On one hand, putting their movie in theaters across the country could be a huge publicity coup for them...except that the tickets were sold out in the pre-sale by fans, so it's not like they are really going to gain much of a new audience from this.

On the other hand...the exclusivity of the ticket sales and the publicity from the whole thing could encourage non-fans to go "who are these guys?" and check them out on youtube, which will drive their views and subcount up eventually.

And the view count...it'll be interesting to see if it goes up, down, or stays the same after this decision. I'm very intrigued about rhay aspect of this whole thing.

The interesting thing about snc, to me, is that they have all the elements of being "famous"- millions of followers, more views on their videos than most TV shows at this point, videos being premiered in theaters, 2nd youtubers to ever appear on Joe Rogan behind Mr fucking Beast, Colby trends on twitter every time the wind blows...but even with all this, they somehow are not very mainstream. The dichotomy of their whole fame level is so intriguing to me. They're the most famous non-famous people ever, lol.

Anyway, I don't know how they perceive their level of notoriety, but they're probably as confused by it all as I sometimes am, lol.