#Pre-Spring/23

[simkoos]

╰┈➤ hot singles in your area 💘💌

⇢ caiphus buchanan, 25 - sweet, mysterious, ideal date consists of smoking a bowl, watching old-school horror movies and ordering snacks from uber eats at 2am

⇢ alexis oliver, 21 - 90's fashion aficionado, was told she looks like aaliyah once and won't let anyone forget about it smh. will probably swipe right on any guy with frosted tips

⇢ benson hedrick, 26 - works a boring 9-5, recently moved into a townhome in san sequoia and adopted a puppy but still feels a bit lonely

⇢ claire roberts, 27 - nepo baby, nursing student, always gets what she wants except a date to the bi-weekly galas...

⇢ daniel nevarez, 23 - made an account because a friend dared him to, has already gotten a few messages (mostly from women in their 40's but he's not complaining!)

⇢ julianna lin, 24 - party girl, probably the toxic one in relationships, prefers men up to 3x her age

⇢ noah palamo, 31 - originally from selvadorada but has recently relocated to brindleton bay. single and hating it. wants his future partner to love the outdoors as much as he does and won't mind living off the grid by the lake

⇢ rebecca noble, 26 - nursing student, dog mom, claire's quirky best friend. they also constantly match with each other on dating apps....

⇢ rosaura mendez, 34 - bartender, knows how to have a good time (iykyk). recently went through a messy break up with her ex-boyfriend, now wants to explore her options

⇢ avyaan parekh, 28 - professional dj from san myshuno, recently came out to his parents (who suggested he'd hop on one those dating apps to find true love. wish him luck!!)

⇢ theo stone, 36 - gym coach, health nut, wants someone to show him there's more to life than repetition, routine and choosing the right pre-workout

⇢ kendra jameson, 22 - 1st grade teacher's aide from oasis springs, kinda shy, has a crush on her mentor but knows it'll never work out so she created an account instead

⇢ kira travis, 26 - small jewelry business owner from willow creek, loves to travel, moves way too fast in relationships. once married a guy while on vacation in windenburg and got a divorce a week later. let's hope that never happens again!!

⇢ fred "manfredi valentino" valentine, 63 - owns 2 casinos in tartosa, 3 maseratis and a luxury penthouse but is pretty lonely since his wife unfortunately passed away. spends his free time going to yacht parties, gambling and spoiling his 8 grandchildren

⇢ kole fuller, 27 - in a band (guitarist and main vocalist), knows a lot of sims but doesn't have many friends outside of his bandmates and neighbors, would probably be the sweetest golden retriever boyfriend

[13tinysocks]

My Dead Girlfriend

Viltrum culture can be quite a shock. Everything'll be fine, as long as you listen and do everything the Emperor says. Oh... Well, things wouldn't have to be this way if you weren't such a bitch!

[Invincible Variants X Reader]

World building tiem... Look guys, they be flippin' that shit around tho. NSFW

[Part one] [Ao3] [23] [Chapter Index] [25]

24 * Bitch  [14.4k]

"I get mean when I'm nervous like a bad dog."

Cop Car - Mitski

        Having a master bathroom was only something you could dream about. With a deep, wide tub, products hidden away, on demand at the press of a button (Technically there weren't showers in Viltrum, just gas chambers that ionically cleaned whoever was inside but Mohawk had some more human amenities added to his room). Double sinks, clean mirrors that seemed to hover off the wall. Not a cobweb in the corner or spec of dust on the shiny tiled floor. The grand prize, a toilet with a bidet- that you were currently puking in.

        You gripped the edges, heaving. Orangey vomit was quietly flushed away without back spray. Viltrumite plumbing was something else. You wanted it to be over but you could still feel your guts flipping, deciding whether to let it end now or drag the torment on for another hour.

        "Why didn't you slow me down?" You whined, tears squeezed out the corners of your eyes.

        The party had gone on awhile longer. It was all a haze after your seventh glass. You didn't entirely remember when you got back to Mohawk's room but you knew, you'd been at this toilet for what felt like forever. Hurting like a motherfucker. 

        Mohawk (held your hair/rubbed your) back, as helpful as he'd get. "Cuz she could hold her liquor."

        You'd had beer that tasted like cardboard that didn't get you nearly as fucked up. "I can! Your girlfriend was just an alcoholic bi-bllarrgggg."

        Mohawk watched your body slump and shudder in misery. Smiling despite it, because karma was real. "This is what you get for being a bitch to me earlier." He singsonged over the sound of puke hitting toilet water.

         When it was over, you said, "I'm not gonna say sorry for being a bitch when you fucking kidnapped me."

        "Baaabe, we've been over this." He whined. You tried lifting your head to glare but another wave of nausea dragged you back down. "Just accept it already. You're here with me now and you're safe. I'm not gonna hurt you, unless you ask me to." He remembered how you liked it. How willing you were to be choked or pinned down or restrained. 

        He was going for sexy, you just heard creepy. "You're actually crazy, dude."

        He patted your (head/back), tutting, "Only for you."

        Through it all, he stayed. Idly chattering in the bouts of quiet between episodes. Asking you about your favorite shows or movies he could put on because the Viltrum Empire had archives of most media from the planets they conquered. Especially the programs he listed as favorites of yours- you'd never heard of. There was Jackets-Yellow or Interrupted, Girl. The titles sounded so stupid and you felt so bad you shot them down immediately. 

        Eventually, it was over. You were empty and tired and dry mouthed. Mohawk left the room, pressing a button beside the bed and pulling out a bottle of water imported from the medicinal springs of planet Zigguart of the southern sector. Viltrum developed most of its own medicines but sometimes other races just did it better, it was why they still conquered after millennia; there was always something to gain, to learn from other races. The people of Zigguart made a damn good cure for post-vomit, pre-hangover party girl sickness. He often had to make you drink it back when you were alive. You had been right- the old you was something of an alcoholic, because watching you drunkenly vomiting over the toilet bowl was deeply nostalgic for him.

        He held your neck while you drank. Praising quietly when you didn't think you could take anymore, "You're doing so good, just keep going, it's going to help. I've got you, babe."

        He pulled you gently off of the floor, put a mouthwash tablet in your mouth, and told you to chew. Pepperminty suds washed over your mouth and dissolved any taste of puke and of course all of the plaque. You spit out the remains according to his instructions and felt somehow the cleanest you had in months. 

        Then he took you to the closet and set you on the bench, handing you a white set of pajamas. A loose white button-down with Viltrum's logo on the breast pocket, paired with white pants.

        "It's Martian silk." He said. "Super comfortable."

        You'd stopped puking, were still lightheaded, but your stubbornness was steadfast. "I told you I'm not wearing her clothes."

        He set the pajamas next to you on the bench. "I don't gotta lotta rules but it's no outside clothes in the bed or none at all."

        You watched him as he pulled out his own pajama set, matching yours exactly.

        "I'd rather sleep naked." You said.

        "Oh would you?" Mohawk turned to you, looking hopeful.

        "I'm not fucking you, I'm sick." 

        "Don't gotta kiss your pukey mouth to fuck you." He leaned forward, fingers pushing between the magnetic fastening of your bodysuit, "Gonna get naked or what?"

        You grabbed the heap of pajamas next to you. "I'll wear these, actually."

        He patted your head, "Good girl." You were a lot easier to corral into doing what he wanted than he expected. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.

        "Don't call me that, I'm not your dog." You say as you watch him start to peel off his emperor's clothes. Revealing his clean body beneath. 

        "But you're my bitch." He said not unkindly, like it was some new form of endearment, personal to you. You watched as he pulled the suit down his torso, over his recently trimmed pubes (a landing strip), stopping right before revealing himself. Meeting your eyes with a smirk, "What? You changing your mind, pukey mouth?"

        You turned around immediately, hot in the face. "No." You opened the front of the suit and started to wriggle out of it when Mohawk hovered slowly into your periphery. Already changed into those stupid pajamas, wearing a stupider expression on his face at the chance to see you naked. You held the open portions shut, "Turn around, freak."

        "Aww, come on, nothing I haven't seen before."

        "And nothing you'll see again if you don't turn around!"

        His brows waggled, "That a promise?"

        "Turn! Around!"

        Mohawk sighed dramatically, "You're no funnn." But he turned, listening to the shuffle of clothes as you changed. He tried peaking but was whacked in the face by his bodysuit, blinding him. He pulled the clothes off his face to see you, alive, in those same pajamas, swaying slightly from drinking. You looked so similar in this closet, it scared him. He wanted you, a copy, a re-do, but not the same person who betrayed him.  

        Quietly, he led you to the bed, dimming the lights. You didn't have the energy to argue for your own place to sleep, you just slid into her old spot and flipped into her usual sleeping position like a glove. Just like she had a million times, normally in bed before him. He watched you, not feeling himself in his own body but knowing he was again lying in bed with you. He was too scared to reach out, to touch you in this room. 

        You were asleep within minutes. He tried to sleep but couldn't. He stayed up through your twitching nightmares, rubbing your back and telling you it was okay, you were safe, until you calmed. He was utterly still for the first five hours you slept, the first natural sleep you'd had since arriving and it was in his bed, in your bed. At some point you rolled, shifted your leg over his then flopped your arm over his chest. She used to do the same thing. He shifted his arm under you, his shoulder now your pillow. You grunted something in your sleep, nuzzled into him, and went still again. Finally, Mohawk fell asleep.

        ***

        Southeastern space wasn't known for much. Most of it was empty due to a supermassive black hole slowly eating away at it. It was speckled through with minimal stars, a handful of debris fields, and fewer planets. None of which housing societies the empire deemed advanced enough to meddle with. 

        For the most part, the empire was correct in their assessment. In the hundreds of millions of miles, there was nothing worth anything. That's why when Mohawk learned of Thragg's plans for him, he gutted the motherfucker and dumped him into southeastern space to die. Thragg's heart, the most integral part of a Viltrumite biology, had been pierced. He was to die in the black cold of space alone, without an empire.

        His survival came down to luck. The Thraxans saw him, a floating ball of blood and gore, when out on a routine clearing of a nearby asteroid field. They took him in, healed his wounds, and for the last few years and generations of the Thraxan people, he'd been there. Using the Thraxans as he saw fit, siring children, catching the mantis-people up to almost Viltrumite levels of sophistication. 

        He was nearly ready to make his move on account of one thing. These last ten months, the empire he'd loved so much had been quiet. What transmissions he did intercept about the empire from the Coalition were bad. The empire had lost its grip, taken losses it never would've taken had he been in charge. Rumors floated that the boy-king finally died but nobody had seen a body and Thragg was too disillusioned to hope.

        Scanners that the Thraxan scientists had made showed little movement from the Empire. The only thing he knew for certain was that they hadn't taken that lazy idiot's favorite shortcut to western space in all that time. It had been routine for millennia to take the long way, checking and rechecking on seemingly conquered planets just to ensure they were still under Viltrum hold. Pathetic. He was unfit to rule, just like his father.

        Imagine Thragg's surprise when a scientist came stumbling into his throne room, right when he was about to get started with one of his hundreds of concubines. "Sir! You're gonna wanna see this!"

        Thragg considered killing the insect for the interruption. But he went along, deciding if this was nothing, the useless bug would die. It wasn't nothing. Far from it. 

        Lo and behold, the emperor's personal ship was flying through his favorite space passage. He was alive and back at the helm for whatever reason. Thragg was as ready as he'd ever be to get his plans rolling despite the danger it could mean for him and the Thraxan people. 

        "Prepare me a ship."

        ***

        Mohawk woke up long before you. In his sleep, he'd tangled his legs between yours. Had pulled you into his chest so your ear rested on his heart. He was never a prude but the sight of your face, so relaxed and contented, made him flush. He hoped, wished you would be like this more. But he knew you wouldn't. He was still afraid you'd be just like her and betray him the same. Of course you'd try, he'd be suspicious if you didn't try at least once- but it was the secrets he was scared of, if you could keep them from his prying eyes and cameras like she had. 

        But it'd be a welcome surprise if you didn't. If you just stayed sweet and compliant and a little bitchy for the fun of it.

        You woke up and thrashed until he let you go, which wasn't very long because he was scared he'd accidentally crush you play-fighting in bed. Again you refuse to wear her clothes, taking another one of his suits for your own use. He wore his same uniform, power washed during the night by the closet itself. Sensors built into the walls detected dirt or skin cells, pulled them into a cleaning chamber where they were cleansed down to the molecular level. This time, when he tried peaking you used your powers and made him face the wall. Last night was one thing, he didn't mind you using your powers to entertain. But using them on him, the literal emperor? Was another. 

        "Maybe you shouldn't do that." He said as you both stepped out of the closet, headed for the door because he had said he wanted to show you something before his work began for the day.

        "Maybe you should listen the first time I ask you to do something." You snipped back. 

        "Who has the power here?" He said half-testing, half-joking. He hoped you'd back down, take the joking route. 

        He isn't surprised when you say, "You're the Emperor of Viltrum, not Earth."

        "Uh, actually." He said, stepping through the bedroom door and into the hall, "Earth has been part of the Empire for almost six years, so I'm the emperor of Earth and two-thousand-seven-hundred-forty-two other planets which, by the way, was the number when I first started. No clue what it's at now, probably over three thousand. So yeah, I am your Emperor." He didn't tell you now that the Empire had conquered over ten thousand planets, but most of them hadn't survived the initial culling of dissidents or had been stripped of all useful resources. You would learn about the Empire's history at some point.

        You made a face he laughed at. "Don't be so sour, babe. Play your cards right and you could be my Empress. Still not as powerful or important as me but, it'd have a lotta perks." You recalled the ring he threw down, one of the first nights stuck in the desert. The weird look he'd given you. He'd been planning on proposing before he killed her. He wanted you not just to take her current place, but the future he had planned with her as well. 

        "If you're proposing, you're doing a shitty job." You followed him as he turned into another hall and floated up a flight of stairs. "Answer's no by the way."

        "Answer'll be yes eventually." He landed at the top of the stairs and turned, waiting for you the climb the last few steps. "Plus, my proposal's gonna be big. Not some lame ass chicken shit like that. What am I? That asshole, pussy bitch you dated?" 

        "You literally are." You ignored the hand he held out for you to take. 

        Fine. That was fine. You'd come around. He could deal with a few disobediences here and there. He'd correct them all in time.

        "Yeah, but I'm not an asshole, pussy bitch." He floated backward, you followed.

        "You're so good with your words." You paused to take it in. The stairs gave way to a long room, half an oval. The walls were mostly glass, smoothly curved and reaching the ceiling. What little stars you saw bent around the glass in yellow, white blurs.

        "I am when I need to be. That's why I'm the Emperor, duh." Mohawk moved further into the room, stopping a few feet in front of the glass where the room came to a head. He watched you through the crystal clear reflection. "This is the observation deck."

        "Seems kinda shitty, the only thing you can do is look at stars? Needs a telescope or something." No way he could tell the stripes of stars apart. 

        He gave you a look, walked to the wall, and pressed a single finger to it. Suddenly, a blue screen was projected over the glass, highlighting stars and planets as they passed, giving at a glance scans of their surfaces, expected resources, gravity force, and compounds of the atmosphere. 

        You approached and tapped one of the popups. The small data sheet enlarged, tells you the planet is called T-47. Showed you a distant photo of a purple-blue ball. Inhabited by a suspected insectoid race. Status: Not ready for colonization. Potentially suitable in 398 years.

        "This is just the simple shit, but we're not here for that." Mohawk tapped a button and all the data was gone. "Come on." He walked away from the screen and headed toward the back of the room where the glass ended, and returned to the regular Viltrumite wall paneling. He pressed a finger to a button set into the wall and a door slid open. You followed him inside to find what looked like a Viltrum version of an office kitchenette. 

        You squinted, "This is where you make all your food for like? How many people?"

        He laughed, "Nah. The main kitchen is six levels down and takes up the whole floor. I had this put in just for you cuz you spent a lotta time up here. You hated when the servants did their job and served you food or drinks. God, this place was such a pain in the ass to get built. You wanted the contractors to be paid with money instead of letting their family live. Ugh." He opened a cabinet, stocked full of snacks, some you recognized, some you didn't. "Still got everything stocked." He checked the mini fridge embedded into the wall, which was stocked so full that canned drinks nearly fell out when he opened it. He shut the door, turned to you hopefully. "Like it?"

        You shrugged, unable to ignore the love put into it, how she was immortalized into parts of the ship, how she would always haunt you here. "Nicer than my apartment, so sure."

        That wasn't as impressed as he'd like you to be but he wasn't done yet. "How about a drink?"

        He remembered how you took your (coffee/tea), made it just right, like he had a hundred times. Sure, the servants could've done it but the old you had always appreciated the gesture. He waited, more anxious than he was willing to admit for your approval. Nearly exploded with relief when you had to hide your surprise, looking away as you said, "It's... good." He can hear the lie in the rhythm of your heart.

        Satisfied, he led you back into the main room. Near the glass again, he pressed the toe of his boot into the floor. Paneling you hadn't seen before split apart as a chair rose up. A single white thing comprised entirely of hard edges. Mohawk flopped down into it, making the cushions that looked nothing like cushions, sigh. 

        He patted his knee. "Come'ere." 

        You stayed standing, sipping your drink from a pale mug. "There's seriously not another chair?"

        "There's a bunch, but I'm not tellin' you where." You opened your mouth, he raised a finger, "Use your powers on me an' I won't take you down to torture that pussy bitch later." 

        "I could use my powers now and later." 

        His smirk doesn't quite reach his eyes. "We both know you can't keep that shit up forever. Either you sit down willingly, or I gag you, tie you up, and then put you on my lap- which you'd love by the way- your choice. Oh and-" From the side of the chair came a study table. He took the mug and set it down. 

        Your cringe was like a reward, but not nearly as rewarding as you shuffling forward and leaning on the arm of the chair. "You're fucking ridiculous."

        "I didn't say to sit there," He put a hand to your back and pulled you down. Ass falling over his thighs. "I said here." His hand stayed in place, ready to pull you back onto his lap if you moved. "Good. I can finally show you this." From the arm of the chair, he plucked a narrow thing that was flush with the fabric. Translucent at first but after a moment it lit up, glowing blue. At your confused face, he said, "It's a data pad, dummy."

        "Like an iPad?" 

        "Yeah, but a billion times better." He tapped a circular icon and brought up the landing page for the archive. "Check it, we've got every book in the galaxy." Technically, every book, news article, research paper, and leaked nude uploaded and categorized from all of the thousands of planets the Viltrum empire had conquered. With Viltrum-powered artificial intelligence, any confusing alien text was immediately translated and not in the chunky Google Translate way, it was actually understandable. 

        He pressed a few more buttons and brought up your personal favorited list. The Southern Book Club's Guide to Vampire Slaying. My Heart Is a Sawchain. The Games of Hunger and all its sequels. You both paused, looking at the last book she was reading. The progress bar said she was a little over halfway through- Jaymocking. Mohawk's fingers went still, but you pulled up the summary. It was some dystopian fantasy, the third in a series about a corrupt, murderous government and its evil figurehead. Ouch.

        "I still don't get it," Mohawk said. "I gave her everything she ever could've wanted and more, and she fuckin' betrayed me." He's quiet like you'd have an answer. "You won't do that to me, right?"

        You're suddenly very aware of everywhere he was touching you. Every place he could pierce through your soft, human flesh. "I don't even know what she did and uh... What could I do against any of this?" 

        "You askin' cuz you wanna know?"

        Kinda. "I just don't even- I? I just fucking got here? This is like, the first time I've been in a spaceship. I hace no idea what's going on and even if I did try to leave, I'd be sucked into the vaccume of space. Also, I almost starved to death multiple times. I don't know what the fuck you think I'm gonna do if I can't find the other chairs."

        His face relaxed. "Right.. Right." He was tempted to tell you what she did but then what if you snuck a data pad and got into contact with the Coalition too? The best thing he could do was make sure you were happy, never starved or wanted for anything ever again. "So... you like reading?"

        "Hate it." You lied. 

        "In that case-" He moved to put the data pad away. You snatched it, you couldn't remember the last time you'd gotten to read. Gotten to snack and relax and be calm. You scowled at him, "Knew it." 

        You scrolled though the catalogue, looking for something to catch your eye. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

        "Not for an hour." He said.

        "Are you gonna show me the other chairs or have me on your lap the entire time?"

        He pretended to consider. "I'll think about letting you up if you read to me."

        You laughed, "No fucking way."

        He hummed, "Guess you gotta stay here then."

        You did. Finally finding something good to read. Titled Spill Your Guts. You didn't read aloud, knowing he was full of it. The writing was terrible but you couldn't stop reading it. Mohawk asked if you wanted to read something better, something cool from an alien planet. To spite him, you said no and kept reading the worst published text you'd ever laid eyes on. 

        You couldn't remember the last time you'd relaxed like this- aside from the sitting in the lap of an evil Emperor part, but still. You ended up so engrossed in doing something as trivial as reading and drinking (tea/coffee), you didn't notice the creep of his hand until it was set between your thighs. Gently gripping and ungripping to try and get your attention. 

        You lowered the datapad to its indented bed in the arm. "Move your hand."

        He didn't. "Do you reaaally want me to?" He said into your ear, "Don't you remember yesterday?"

        You'd focused on the good part, Mark's suffering. Forgetting after the party and getting drunk about the cute little detail of almost letting Mohawk fuck you in that prison cell. "I don't."

        "You're such a shitty liar." Mohawk's fingers moved side to side, ghosting over the inner thigh of the suit. "But fine, I'll play along, you want a reminder?"

        You snapped your legs shut as you started to feel a pooling heat, inadvertently trapping his fingers. He could've moved them but he didn't. "I'm still mad at you."

        "Oh, I can fix that." His other hand moved to the front of your body, aiming for your chest. You should have gotten up, used your powers, but you didn't. Part of you wanted to feel him again, left unsatisfied from the way things ended yesterday. Maybe if you fucked him again, it'd get the need out of your system and the next time he tried something you wouldn't be so defenseless, so easy under his hands.

        Still, you put up a mild fight. Trying to tighten your thighs to give him more resistance- give yourself more time to come to your senses. But he was stronger than your thighs, sliding his fingers between them easily until he was rubbing the side of his hand against your apex. Other hand, kneading your chest. 

        You held in a sigh. Stiffen your muscles so you wouldn't grind against him. Through clenched teeth, you tell him to, "Stop messing around."

        "Man, you're really determined to act like you don't want this." He laughed against your neck. He pushed your legs apart, just enough to flatten his hand against you and rub you entirely through the fabric. He felt you twitch, heard the sound at the back of your throat you swallowed. "Just give in."

        Open-mouthed kisses were laid to the side of your neck. He listened hard for the start of your words and bit down when you spoke- forcing you to trip over the phrase, "N-no."

        But you didn't stop him as he unlatched the magnetically attached front of the uniform, letting his hand slip in under the fabric and toy with your nipple. Fingers pressed harder to fabric, finding the shape of your clit. He knew just where to put pressure and it was terrifying. You held in the urge to gasp but you were starting to lose your head. Hips twitching, unknowingly grinding your ass against his hardening cock, getting him off.

        "I'm serious." You spit out. Face hot, pussy throbbing, but still, your mind was intact enough to know this was a very bad idea. Your body didn't agree.

        "You know I love it when you play hard to get." That was one difference he really admired. His version of you was perfectly trained, submissive. He wanted that, of course he did, but he liked a little push and pull. Liked to prove to himself over and over you couldn't resist him, and didn't actually want to. It was like a game he just kept winning. 

        "You know I love it when you fucking listen to me." You hissed.

        "Use your powers then, stop me." He said with a particularly harsh twist of your nipple that made you throw your head back against his shoulder and groan. He went on, watching your face flash between pissed and utterly desperate. "Thaaaat's right, good girl. You know you want it." He knew you could be good, deep down, he just had to dig for it. But at the same time- he wanted to antagonize you. Wanted to bring out your mean side because you were so predictable when you were angry. If you stayed predictable, he'd know what to expect. 

        "Stop calling me that." You snarled weakly. 

        "Don't like it? Hm. Let's see about that." Fingers left your clothed cunt, traveled up and under the open flap of the bodysuit. They ghosted over the flesh of your belly, slowly getting lower and lower. Your legs were spread but enough enough to be easily fuckable as he'd like so he said, "Open your legs." 

        You didn't. Still contemplating getting up, leaving him with blue balls. You excuse yourself saying, "What if someone walks in?" Wasn't like there was a door, just a staircase leading to the open room.

        "They got jerkoff material for life," Mohawk replied. "What're they gonna do, huh?  I'm the emperor, and I can do whatever I want and everyone has to listen to me, even you. Open up." You consider this so long he takes it as an answer. "Oh, I get it, you wanna get manhandled." Faster than you could protest, both your legs were hooked over the arms of the chair, spreading yourself wide and easy. His finger moved viper fast before your brain even process shutting your legs.

        "No, I do-haaaahhh." His middle finger slid inside of you to the knuckle. Glided in smooth as silk. His palm was already pumping, finger curling. Shutting your protests down.

        "Again, terrible liar." Mohawk hooked his chin over your neck, watching you half-exposed body jerk and twitch. Your eyes were watching the outline of his hand pumping your cunt through the tight suit. "Are you always this wet or is it just for me?"

        You opened your mouth to argue but he pressed hard against your g-spot, thumb savagely rubbing your clit. Your eyes screwed shut and your reply was an incoherent moan.

        "Good girl." He goaded, feeling your cunt happily squeeze around his finger, trying to suck him further in. "You do like that."

        "I'll-" Gasp, "I'll kill you."

        "Will you?" His pumping slowed, finger nearly pulled out as he added another. Sliding in easy to your slick, needy cunt. "Cuz if this is you trying to kill me, I think I'm winning."

        You jerked and nearly squealed as he filled you further, "Fuck you-"

        He grounded his hard cock against your ass, "You are." 

         "Shut up." You writhed against him. Grinding into his fingers, against his cock.

        He took a sharp breath. "Keep that up and I'm not gonna get the chance to cum in you." Mohawk always had to wear a condom with her. She'd get mad if he didn't. He'd offered better birth control but you'd been adamant. Never wanting the possibility of children.

        And yet.

        "You should stop... They aren't fighting back anymore." You said in this very room, overlooking the orange planet below where Kregg was ripping it to shreds. Taking the resources since they wouldn't offer them up.

        You'd been such a bleeding heart, it was a boner killer. He tried working with you around it. "Aww babe, do you want me to keep one alive so you can have a pet?" He put his fingers to his earpiece to contact Kregg.

        "No but-"

        "Ah, okay, so they all can die, got it."

        "No!" He gave her a look. She shut her mouth, backed down. 

        "If you want a lil thing runnin' around the ship so bad, just let me cum in you already."

        "I don't think..." At the time, he thought she wasn't ready. Now he knew, she didn't want to have his child because she saw him as a tyrant. Fine. Fine! It's fine because he saw her as a pathetic revolutionary fighting against an ultimately better future. Not like he wanted kids anyway, the empire wanted him to have an heir, yeah, but it seemed like such a pain. Plus, he didn't want to become a weak fool like his dad had.

        Your gasps bring him back to moment. Bucking your hips, desperately riding his fingers while accusing him of being disgusting.

        "You're the one taking two..." He slipped out of you a moment to add another digit to the fold, filling you so sweetly, "Three fingers, I think you're a little nastier than me right now." He had to prep the other you for something like this. You just took and took. Whimpering pathetically and never whining about pain- if there was any- hell, maybe you liked that he was moving so fast.

        "I-I'll-haaahh- I'll k-kill you."

        "Death threats again, babe? You gotta get some new material." You could only gasp and shudder in reply, grinding your ass harder against him. "Or can you just not think of anything else?" Teasingly, he curled his fingers into your g-spot, kept them there, pulsing into you.

        Your back arched, eyes fluttered back, "Shut up!"

        "You've said that one too. You really going stupid this quick?" 

        "No, I'm just close, you shith-aaaah-head." He could feel it, the way you clenched around him. The way your whole body was tensing up. 

        He mumbled into your neck between hickeys, "Just let it happen." The pre-wave of orgasm cinched tight around his fingers. He went in for the kill, "Good girl, just-" He didn't get to finish because you were wailing, cumming around his fingers hard. You really did like that. 

        Mohawk worked you through the orgasm. Never slowing or stopping his abuse of your weeping cunt. You started to go limp on him but he kept going, growling into your neck, "You're done when the emperor says you're done. I haven't even fucked you yet. Come on, babe, don't wimp out on me."

        You're stuck by a moment of clarity, "Don't fucking talk in third person while you're fingering me."

        Mohawk clicked his tongue, "You just gotta be a bitch when I'm-" Did you just moan? Just throb around him? "Do you fuckin' like that too? Holy shit?"

        "No I-"

        "What else you like bein' called, hm?" His words came with a pinch to your breast, "You gonna fuckin' cum if I call you a slut or something?"

        You did, in fact, cum. So hard and fast you lost yourself, sounding horrifically embarrassing when you arched your back and gasped out a pathetic, "Y-yesss."

       Mohawk muttered, "This is so awesome, holy fuck." She had been fine with some meanness from his end but this much? God, he couldn't wait to find out just how much of a slut you were. How many loads you could-

        "...Sir?" 

        You went stiff. Mohawk didn't, still pumping away. "Shit." He hissed. "The meeting."

        Kregg hovered at the top of the stairs. Arms folded behind his back, expression expertly poised. He'd been through this sort of messing about with the Emperor before. With you, he was often distracted, late, off task- but if it meant the empire would have an heir and the emperor had something to fight for (because apparently ruling the greatest empire in the galaxy wasn't enough for the spoiled brat) then so be it. Still, Kregg's fellow Viltrumites were deeply uncomfortable with your... messy lovemaking. Nobody ever told him as such but the others seemed to make themselves scarce when you and the Emperor were at it. Leaving Kregg, experienced with the pleasures earthly women could bring, to deal with whatever fallout came from these dalliances. 

        "Did you not get my message?" Kregg asked. 

        Mohawk thought he'd heard some bug buzzing in his earpiece a few minutes ago. He'd been so engrossed in unraveling you, he forgot to respond.

        "I did." He said, thumb idly tracing circles on your clit, "Am I late?"

        You folded up your legs, tried to get up or snap your suit shut but Mohawk wouldn't let you go. Didn't stop moving his fingers despite the fact that you were mortified. Fucking in front of people to hurt their feelings was a little far, but it'd happened, whatever. In front of Mohawk's political right hand who had nothing to do with this? God, you wanted to jump through the observation deck glass and float into space. 

        "We waited five minutes, sir." How long had he been at it?

        Mohawk hummed, ignoring your thrashing. "Ten more minutes?" It wasn't nearly enough but Mohawk could finish fast, get the rest of his fix later.

        "Are you crazy?" You hissed.

        Kregg didn't often find himself in agreement with a human. Especially you, back before you were dead. It was an annoyance you were back, and a danger as the council privately advised, but the Emperor didn't care. As long as he had you and Angstrom Levy to bring him more dimensions, he was perfectly content. Still. "This meeting's important, sir. We require your presence."

        Mohawk hummed, thinking a moment, fingers slowing. "How important is it really?"

        "Incredibly."

        "Fine." All at once, he exited you with a loud, wet sound that Kregg definitely heard. You scrambled upright, snapping your suit shut while Mohawk lingered in his seat. "But if this is going over those boring ass charts again, I'll take your other eye." He took the moment you spun to look at him, suit fixed, to suck on his fingers. Obnoxiously rolling his eyes back at the taste of you. Much cleaner than you'd been in the desert. 

        Kregg shouldn't be afraid of him, but he was. He killed Emperor Nolan, the strongest of them all. Despite his attitude he wasn't that bad of an emperor, just rather nontraditional so he held his tongue, "It's not, sir." 

        "Good." He stood, boner obvious in the outline of his suit. He turned to Kregg, still hard, uncaring. He waved for you to follow like some well-trained pet. "Let's go." This really had been a mistake. 

        The war room was large. Table stark white against the gray floor. Viltrumites filled the seats lining its side, the Marks save for Phantom were counted among them. All of them looked at personal data pads while a large 3D map of space projected blue from the table's center. More complicated machinery blipped on the walls, displaying ever changing coordinates and other space travel bullshit. At the table head was a large seat, back nearly reaching to the paneled ceiling. 

        Mohawk sat himself there and splayed his thighs, patted them for you to sit. Again, there were no more seats. When you hesitated, you were met with an icy glare from the woman whose name you thought was Thula. You shuffled to Mohawk's side, but again he pulled you to his lap. You glared at him, but were hesitant to fight in a room full of murderous aliens. 

        In the dim of the room that allowed the projections to shine, you couldn't quite tell them apart. They'd gotten so cleaned up since the desert and wore such similar outfits of gray and white, it was a little hard. Most of them cut their hair back to what you knew as the typical Mark cut. Some went back to how they were before. Scars was the only shape you could identify with his longer hair he hadn't touched. 

        Kregg got down to business. Instead of sitting, he was standing at the other end of the table, in front of a screen that he gestured to along with the 3D map. Battle plans, strategy, shit you didn't understand in the slightest. 

        Gray understood plenty, chimed in to Kregg's annoyance at first but quickly morphed into relief. Gray had conquered some of the planets that had rebelled and looked to be an issue- solo. His input was valuable, whereas Mohawk had nothing to add. Kregg wouldn't say it, but at first he'd been hesitant about there being more versions of Emperor Mark, but if the others were like Gray? Fuck, let them stay.

        Markus was a little too focused on you and how stiff you were to really give much valuable insight. He'd worked for the empire, but not long or deeply enough to be of much value besides in battle. Still, Kregg appreciated that someone was paying attention, nodding along and scrolling on his data pad to follow along. The longer the meeting went on the more he noticed his Emperor's hands starting to roam. Nowhere devious or obvious, but he'd slept with you before, he knew the moves to pull. A hand on your hip went a long way. 

        Seb gave absolutely nothing. He had no idea why he was even here. He'd be a solider, whatever, but it wasn't like he had to care about the wider plan or planetary shit affecting landing physics bullshit. He worked with Dad, got the job done enough to go home without any of this fuckery. He spun a stylus between his fingers and ignored his datapad, much to Kregg's annoyance. Sometimes he glanced at you, wondering the next time you could hang out so he could talk to someone kind of normal. He never looked long, Mohawk was getting too heavy-handed, too alpha male 'she's mine' about the way he was touching you. Seb wouldn't say no to fucking you again but he seriously didn't want to die.

        Scars watched in mostly silence. If he was going to sell subjugation, he needed to shut his mouth a little more. Needed Thula to believe he wasn't as much of a threat as he was before he found a way to kill the old bitch. Then kill that bastard sitting smug in his tall chair. He didn't deserve The Empire, or the fine, fearful thing sitting stiffly in his lap. Scars did.

        Lensless wouldn't shut the fuck up, giving terrible ideas that'd get his fellow soldiers killed or injured. He'd been with the empire some years, he knew how these things worked, but always ended up disregarding safety procedures just to get to the carnage faster. Kregg made a note to not put him on the front lines.

        Lucan tried reeling him in. He'd done a decent enough job following the boy around, but it was concerning how easily he could be lost. He had a feeling Lensless was letting him follow most of the time. Trying to make him think he wasn't as fast or clever as he really was. The thing was, Lensless was twenty-two, a child to Lucan, well over three-thousand years old. Those tactics wouldn't work. 

        And yet he couldn't get the twit to shut his mouth. 

        To your absolute horror, he pointed out Mohawk's hand, resting casually over your thigh, inching to settle between them. "Is he allowed to do that? Can I do that? Cuz he's me, so I'm also technically the Emperor? Hey (Y/n), can you come over here, pleeaaassseee?"

        "I can do what I want," Mohawk said, hand slipping further down. You tried not to flinch away, at least he wasn't rubbing your clit in front of ten people. "You can't, shut the fuck up." He pulled you backward, chest firm to your back.

        Lensless didn't say, "Yes boss," for him, but for you, and your withering glare that made him shiver excitedly.

        The meeting resumed, dragging on and on. You had no fucking clue why you had to be here. It wasn't like you were going to be on the front lines. 

        You didn't know that you were here because Mohawk had ears in the Coalition. If anything got out of this room, he'd question you first. This time he wouldn't gut you, just... imprison you awhile to teach you a lesson. It wasn't a fully sound plan, but he also liked the comfort of you on his lap. The entertainment of your legs twitching whenever he dragged his fingers down them. He knew you still wanted him. That your cunt was wet and waiting for him to take.

        By the time you'd gotten to the meeting room, he'd gone soft enough to flash by the others without setting off alarms. Now, bored, with your ass pressed up against him- he was hard again. Straining against his suit, poking at your back for attention. 

        You gave no reaction. Unwilling to cause a scene, to give him what he wanted. You'd chew him out later, make him listen.

        He ground against you ass. You twitched, catching Gray and Markus's eyes. You did your best not to meet them, to look at the meeting screen as Mohawk, slowly, as not to catch any more attention, ground his cock into you. 

        You shifted forward, trying to hover off his lap because this was so not happening. He couldn't be serious. He pulled you down, repositioning his dick under your legs, rubbing himself against your clothed pussy. Of course you were still horny but not insane. You shot a hand back, hitting him in the chest as a quiet 'stop it'. 

        Mohawk thought you were playing. Even if you weren't, he knew once he got his dick in you, you'd stop fighting. He wonders how quiet you could be, wonders how long he could warm his cock in the tight heat of you before one of you broke and started humping the other in front of the whole crowd. 

        The others did their best to act like they didn't notice. Markus and Gray stayed on task. Seb thought if he looked at all, Mohawk would have his head. Lensless watched, smiling dozily at your discomfort, wishing it was him. Scars counted on his fingers, hoping he could get you alone soon. You needed to be taught a lesson.

        For a moment, your eyes lingered on Lucan's bald head. You wondered what Mark would think. He wouldn't even be here, actually. Wouldn't stand for any of this. Would've taken you back home or away from the empire that ruined him. Even if he stayed, he would've spoken up. Wouldn't have let this bullshit happen. But he was dead in another dimension. Mohawk ground on, breath hot on your back. His council let it happen. The Marks let it happen.

        "Can you fucking stop?" You snapped over Kregg and Gray's conversational back n' forth. Heads turned, eyes stared into you but at least Mohawk stopped. 

          "(Y/n)." His voice was quiet, dangerously sharp. You turned, meeting his eyes that bore into you, trying to telepathically tell you to obey. To not make a scene in front of his council when he was the one who started it. "Do not interrupt my general when he is speaking."

        "Are you fucking serious?" You went to stand up, but his hands on your sides tighten to keep you down. You do it without thinking, "Let go." He does. You stand up fast like you'd been burned. In a way, you had, with the lingering want, but you didn't want this, not in front of so many people. Not when he blatantly disregarded your feelings.

         The council had been advised of your powers. It raised concerns, lots of them. You could be dangerous, a valuable asset to the Coalition. Mohawk had assured them you were weak, could barely control him at all. But that was in the desert when you were living off cave water and cannibalized rations, always with some wound or ailment. 

        The command was finished, Mohawk was free but still he sat. Angry, humiliated in front of the council that already doubted him despite how he'd won the empire- pried it from his father's soft hands. But he could almost hear their thoughts as you glared at him, Nolan had been a better Emperor, Nolan kept people in control. If Mohawk couldn't control a human- again- he'd lose more of the faith Argall's blood lent him.

        He said with feigned calm, "I think you forget who you're talking to. Sit." His boner still ached in his suit. He was mad about your defiance, but he'd be more mad if you gave him blue balls.

        "How could I forget when it's all you talk about? No." You backed up a few feet, keeping a distance from the table and chairs despite how fast they all were. You couldn't feel hands on you yet, only the crawling feeling of so many eyes and their judgments.

        He turned to the others, "Stop fucking staring and keep talking." Kregg went back to presenting but all ears were strained toward you. Mohawk growled through barred teeth, "I'm not going back and forth with a human. Sit."

        The air crackled between you two. He opened his mouth again, desperate now, but you stopped him in his tracks.

        "Shut up." His mouth closed. You held onto his mind with an iron grasp, "Do that shit to me again and I'll kill fucking kill you." This time it wasn't weak sex talk, you meant it, he knew it, the whole council knew it. You turned your back on all of them and almost ran out of the room.

        Gray was close to the door, he considered turning to you and saying something, but he couldn't look weak. So he just watched you go out the sliding door and listened as you stomped down the hall. Kregg knew to shut up, making any noise when the Emperor got red in the face like that and was certain doom.

        "We should count her as a loss." Thula said as soon as the door slid shut. She did not fear death, for if she died, she deserved it. "This one doesn't even like you, and she's obviously a flight risk. Vidor, the pods are locked, yes?" The ginger nodded. "Good. I know you're... attached to the human, Emperor Mark, allow me to assist you in disposing of her."

        Thula never liked you, not then, not now. Humans were a weakness, she saw how their affections weakened Emperor Nolan and Mark. Saw them ebb away at Kregg though he stayed strong and true to Viltrum's core values. You also had a habit of ruining things, the Emperor lost it after you died, then left for ten months to go get another you who was more likely to stab him in the back. Kregg had told her young humans could be awfully flippant, that this must be his humanity shining through. A couple thousand years of experience would squash that out- but not if you were alive during them if he ever reached his goal of keeping you by his side for eternity.

        The Emperor's head rigidly turned on her. Hands now empty of something to squeeze so they curled into fists. "Nobody's killing her, she just needs to get broken in. Just get back to the battle plans." He wouldn't go after you, was afraid if he saw you right now, he'd grab you and gut you just like he had before. He needed to calm down.

        Markus stood from his chair, "I'm going after her."

        "Sit." The Emperor hissed.

        "Apologies, sir." Markus said as he walked out the door. 

        He found you not too far away, headed nowhere in particular, he could tell you didn't know where to go. He landed from his float, trotting to your side. You didn't look at him, eyes set ahead on nothing as you said, "I'm not going back."

        "I won't take you back." He said, because he hadn't even been planning to.

         It was the first time he'd been alone with you since arriving in One's universe, he had so many things he wanted to say but he knew he only had a few minutes. He had expected you to like it here, to be grateful for food and shelter, but Emperor Mark had always been too overbearing, you couldn't recover from the trauma with him hovering. Markus's grief was the most recent of the living variants, he had heard plenty from the others, knew that the Emperor's version of you had been dead for years. He thought it was weak-willed of him, shortsighted and foolish to push you like this especially when you had just begun to tolerate him in the desert. Markus knew you more than tolerated him now, but he still expected venom. This version of you had always been defensive, moved between cages you had no chance of escaping. 

        "Then what do you want?" You knew it was Markus from his stupid quiff streaked with gray hair but you couldn't look at his face- Mark's face. It was always Mark's fucking face. 

        "To talk." He knows you won't start the conversation, you never had when you were mad at him. He began, "I'm sorry that happened. You have the right to be upset but you have to understand-"

        "Why didn't you stop him?" His heart ached at the way your voice cracked, trying to cover the hurt with anger and failing.

        "You have to understand you can't win by fighting back. None of us can fight back here. You have to play along." The Emperor wouldn't kill you, but he was so scared if another Viltrumite found you, an unwilling human against the empire, they'd make you suffer. The Empire had been ruthless in his universe and it was much the same here. 

        "Play along?" You stopped, turning to him with a scowl. "Are you serious? He was gonna fuck me in a room full of people! Nobody did anything! The fuck do you mean, play along?"

        "Play along until I figure things out." He said. "I can't protect you if I don't have sway with the council. The more they trust me, the more clearance I'll have, I'll know when Angstrom can be used again. I can get us out, but you have to listen to me and play along so you don't get hurt until then." He was already taking a hit to his budding reputation as respectable and obedient unlike other Marks by being here with you.

        Your gut reaction was that you didn't want to go with Markus, but it might be better than here. This fucking humiliating place where you were just a pet. You'd probably be the same thing with Markus but he at least wouldn't fuck you in front of bunch of multi-thousand year old aliens. All you wanted was to... You didn't know where you wanted to go, hadn't known what to expect since you stood on that roof and told Mohawk to stop. He was right, you didn't have shit, your life sucked even before he tore it to shreds, but you knew you couldn't stay here. Wanted to be anywhere else.

        "Can't we just try running now?" You blinked, held back tears but he saw them shiny in your eyes.

        Markus put his hands on your shoulders, resisting the urge to hold and placate you. He'd placated and lied to the other you too much, had built a tower of lies that led to your death, he needed to be honest with you.

        "We can't." He said, "I know you're scared-"

        "I'm not." You lied.

        He lets you believe he believes. Bringing a hand to cradle your cheek, the most he would allow himself, even as you leaned into the touch, "-But you have to be strong, my love. I need you to promise me you'll listen to him."

        Your lips wobbled. You'd been holding in how much the desert had affected you, how much the deaths, Mohawk treating you like a pet, had deeply burned you. You held it in because he was keeping you at arms length. Held onto it so hard the sorrow hardened to anger. "Fine."

        He took you to Mohawk's room, a hand on your back that he hoped you interpreted as affectionate instead of controlling. He told you to stay and take whatever punishment Mohawk gave when he came back, to know that he was with you. Then he left. Went right back the meeting and murmured in Mohawk's ear that you were dealt with and where you'd be.

        You stood at the shut door. Stood over where she died for having the daring to plan on leaving. Fists shaking, eyes burning. You should have stayed, listened, been a good bitch.

        But you didn't.

        ***

        You didn't know how long you'd been wandering the ship, looking for Mark in his guarded prison cell. You couldn't quite remember the way, all the halls looked the same and were so long they were disorienting. Had Mohawk taken you through this door or this other identical door? All you remembered was it was a long way down. 

        You were surprised by the fact that you never ran into anyone. Maybe the servants kept to particular passages or maybe they'd been ordered to avoid you. The thought made you feel strangely lonely. When you finally heard voices behind a door, you didn't think before feeling for a button to let yourself in. 

        The room was no larger than your studio apartment. Complicated equipment was set into every inch of the wall. Some of it hummed, some of it buzzed. Sat on a patient table in the middle was Phantom. Listening intently as the alien bio-engineers explained to him the state of his new limbs. The machinery that sprouted from his bicep and hip respectively, were attached to his body via strong magnetic implants sewn under the skin of his stumps, nerves connected to intrafascicular electrodes so he could control each analogous part of the limbs. It'd take time for the prosthetics to move exactly the way he wanted, there was no telling how long it'd take for him to be able to curl his fingers or kick his new leg.

        The machinery was stark white, smooth, but nowhere near streamlined as everything else on the ship. Viltrumites weren't often amputees, it seemed. Phantom had been changed out of his torn costume like everyone else, into a sleeveless tight fighting tanktop that bore the empire's sigil. His pants only went down his flesh leg, his skirt was tucked back into the belt that held some sort of emergency battery pack or connector or something sciencey you didn't understand. Everything was tight and tucked out of the way of the delicate mechanics. 

        Blue eyes had already caught onto the shape of you. He didn't know if you were real, standing in the doorway unacknowledged by the scientists. He'd been out of the goo-chamber for only a few hours. They'd told him all of the relevant information, but he still felt the whiplash of everything. It was hard to believe this place was real, hell, that anything in the desert that happened... happened. 

        One of the Martians turned to grab something and finally noticed you, who he correctly assumed wasn't staff. "You're not supposed to be in here."

        "Leave. Do something else. You didn't see me." 

        The Martians did, easily enough, filing out of the room as you stepped in. Their minds were weak and brittle compared to the Viltrumite ones you'd been training against. You and Phantom were alone as the door slid shut behind them. Room blipping and beeping with machinery. 

        His buzzcut had been evened out and beard shaved, clean of blood and free of bruises, looking at you with unabashed awe and surprise. You were also surprised to have found him of all people. Mark should've lived, not him. You feel a burning urge to settle the score, to get one more danger to your survival out of the way.

        On Phantom's end, he had just realized you were real. You who he failed to covet and protect, whose name he heard in this very lab while the scientists worked over some sort of bendy cuff. Similar to the one he'd thrown on you in Sydney with all its micro-monitoring devices. He took the cuffs as they were from the GDA but the Emperor apparently kept sending them back, telling the workers to make it 'cuter'. He hoped it was some sort of mapping device, something to help you get around the ship, because clearly you were still alive. But he'd helped the GDA make containment units for difficult aliens or villains, he knew what electrical probes looked like. He hoped it was a nerve connector, similar to his own but you hadn't lost any limbs so what if-

        "I can't believe they kept you alive, but they let those others shitheads live so why not?" You said, mulling over ways to make him die.

        "You should know I-" He sounded much better than he had in the desert, though his voice still fizzled and cracked at the end of words. "I'm sorry."

        Your lips twitched into a frown. "Don't lie to me."

        Phantom's face went from crestfallen to flat as your powers took hold. "I was terrified for you there, now we're here, and I'm more scared for you than I've ever been. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I want to help you." He couldn't lie under your control. He meant every word. 

        Even under your control, you could see the fear in his eyes, the want to do better. You needed more lifelines to escape, because what if Markus failed? "How do I know you won't fuck me over again?"

        "I'm too scared to lose you." His voice cracked and warbled but you understood well enough, he wanted to fix things between you.

        It hurt. God, it hurt so bad. He ruined everything then wanted to get better. Mark couldn't change, couldn't recover because Mark was dead. Dead because of the man in front of you. 

        You let him out of your grip. Sick to your stomach by his devotion. "You barely know me."

        "I want to know you." He was desperate for new happy memories with you. Not the fractured ones from the desert, "I- I don't know what parts from the desert are real. I'm not sure what I said to you there." He couldn't tell the difference between the narrative he told himself and what really happened. He slid off the table, tried to land on his feet but was met a with a jolt of pain in his hip where the prosthetic was attached. "But I want to know, want to remember the time we had together." He floated into the air as he said it, inched closer but stopped when you stepped back. He was being too intense again.

        You could easily use your powers, check again if he was lying. You both knew it, that's why you believed him. You don't mean to say it but you do, "You're the only one who's apologized to me for any of this." 

        Phantom wasn't surprised but finds himself pleased, this would endear you to him. He had done you wrong but, he still had a chance because he was the most humane of them all, the most willing to admit he was wrong.

        "I took no pleasure in finding out what Mohawk has planned. I won't submit to him." Keeping the others and him alive was too good to be true. There was no way they could be alive and happy with you and jealousy in the mix. Mohawk was going to use them until they were good for nothing, string them along with you as a prize and lead them to fall into their graves. He wouldn't fall for it, wouldn't help the empire that took his whole family from him. 

        You were quiet a moment, trying to formulate a plan. "You really want to help me?"

        "Of course." It was almost instant, bubbling up from him like a well.

        "Then help me find Angstrom Levy."

        It was like two blind rats in a maze. Phantom had only been in the med wing, had barely known Angstrom Levy was on the ship. You'd only been to Angstrom the once. 

        He floated over the ground, twitching his digits to test the movement while your footsteps filled the halls. The quiet was heavy between you, there was so much you wanted to say to him, to ask. You didn't know how long you had together before Mohawk inevitably found you. Did whatever he was going to do.

        "It's my fault he died." You found yourself saying like a deathbed confessional. Phantom turned to watch you. "I choose when I use my powers and I chose then to tell him to stop and he just... He told me for days it was your whole plan to let him die then you confirmed it and everything was easy because I could live as long as I had someone else to blame but... It was still my fault."

        Phantom wanted to hold you. To tell you it was okay, that it was over. He had planned to kill the Viltrumite prisoner, but it shouldn't have been you to do it; it should have been a weight off your chest not a scar that would haunt you. But he knew you didn't want placation, you wanted the truth. "My plan failed and I hurt you. It's okay if you hate me." Though he didn't want you to. "But know I'm different now, I won't lie to you. You can trust me." Getting tortured and eaten alive for weeks really changes a guy.

        "I think I'll have to." You said, and Phantom had to suppress his joy. "But if you get any ideas, I'll actually kill you."

        He nodded, "I'll make sure you don't have to."

        You gave him the greatest gift, a small, genuine smile. "Offering to kill yourself for me? What are you, one of my exes?"

        He hadn't meant it like that, but he played along, "Well, technically."

         You snorted and turned into another hallway expecting the same old smooth white walls. But you knew this hallway, a slightly darker gray than the rest, with big sliding double door in the center. You raced over to it.

        Only when Phantom stood beside you did the door scanner register the Emperor's DNA. You both stepped inside and looked over the railing. You were hit with the same sight as yesterday, Angstrom strung up.

        You didn't entirely know what you were doing. Didn't know if making Angstrom open a portal was safe, if he even could in his state. You didn't know where you'd go but this felt like the right place to be. Having a choice in front of you would make deciding simpler. You could just-

        A Viltrumite rose up from the ground to float in front of the railing, looking down his narrow nose at you both. "You're not the Emperor. And you're not supposed to be in here without the Emperor."

        "You think he's the Emperor."

        The Viltrumite blinked then shook his head. "They told me you might do that." He sighed and floated over the railing, going to press a few buttons set into the wall. "I'll call the real one over to pick you up right away."

        "Stop." Your powers bounced off him, a pure blooded Viltrum soldier, well over three-hundred years in age. You struggled to control Gray, no older than twenty-two. You didn't stand a chance.

        He did. Fingers poised over the call button. "Mmm, you're right he's in a meeting, it'd be better if I brought you to him." He reached out for you, slow as not to startle a rabbit. You were still the Emperor's pet, he couldn't have you screaming and thrashing about. 

        Phantom's prosthetics made his muscles seize and jump, electric with pain but he still reached out to attempt to catch the man's arm with his new robotic hand. Before the white metal made contact, he went utterly still, the servos locking up, before a bolt of agony was shot right into his nervous system. Liquid lighting hot, electricity. He crumpled to the ground, letting out a torn scream.

        "They didn't tell you?" The Viltrumite scientist said. "If you exceed three-hundred miles an hour and Viltrumite DNA other than your own is detected within a few feet, you get a controlled shock." Or in simple terms, he couldn't attack other Viltrumites. Mohawk had flagged him as a risk, had the Martians set him up on an older model of prosthetics that could be tampered with, hence its non-sleek design. "I still don't how that's going to apply to the Emperor, if you're stupid enough to try attacking him at all, but I'm sure those lab rats figured it out. As for you-" He reached out while you were stunned, staring at Phantom on the ground, still convulsing. 

        The door behind you slid open. "We can take care of them." 

        Gray and Markus stood in the doorway. Finally having found you minutes after the meeting ended- off track as it'd gotten after you left with most of the Marks trying to leave to follow. Lucan had to force Lensless to sit back down, shut up. It took threats from Mohawk to get the room in order.

        Mohawk returned to his rooms, angry but a little contented in knowing you could be reasoned with, as proven by Markus. But you weren't there. He'd rushed to Markus's room thinking him a liar. Thinking he was trying to keep you to himself, but you weren't there either and Markus insisted you'd been in the Emperor's room. So began a quiet, panicked search for you where Gray and Seb were added to the party along the way. Scars and Lensless weren't a consideration, not with their tails or whatever ideas they'd get knowing you were alone.

        It was Gray who thought to check the cameras. They all chose a level to search through while flipping through the camera feeds on data pad displays. Gray found you, Markus saw him on the way and followed. Now they were here, witnessing whatever this was. 

        The Viltrumite paused, "You sure?"

        "I won't mention you in my report to the Emperor." Gray said flatly, you knew it was him because he had somehow found the same model uniform he wore in the desert. His voice became a little less rigid when he turned to you, "Come, he wishes to speak to you."

        You stayed in place, bristling with the memory of the meeting. He too was complacent, pretended like he didn't see. "Fuck you both."

        Markus wore disappointment on his hard-set face, but said nothing to you. He simply grabbed Phantom from the floor and said to Gray, "I'll return him to where he needs to be. I'll meet back up with you." He needed to cool off, to get ahold of his head so he didn't look a fool in front of another Viltrumite. He gave you one last stern look before he was out the door. 

        Gray waited for you to follow but you didn’t. "I'm not talking to that asshole."

        It pained him to see you upset, it really did, but at the end of the day you were just a human who didn't know any better. A cornered animal who was lashing out, he found it endearing, but knew the others would not. His eyes flickered to the Viltrumite scientist who was watching the exchange closely, Gray had known this man vaguely in his world. He was high ranking and ruthless, the overseer of a large group of slaves. He would not be endeared to your nature, would see your resistance as a need to break your will. He kept his breathing level and looked back to you, willing you to cooperate, to know he had to play his role. 

        "How difficult do you want this to be?" He said flatly. 

        Your head jerked back like he had slapped you, surprise at his tone evident. He stayed level as you stared at him, remembering what he was. From his boots floating off the ground to the way his body was held taught under his Viltrum uniform, he was a soldier with an order from his Emperor. He could make you go. Make you shut up but he was giving you a choice. 

        "I thought we were friends." Or something more, mixing romance into this only made the sting worse. 

        "There are no such things as friends on Viltrum," Though inside, he was felt a rush of warmth at the declaration. He'd have to ask later but for now, he had to put on a cold front and you- you needed to be corrected, not coddled, despite the primal urge he felt to hold you. "Come." Gray inched back into the hallway, eyes hard set on you. You had seconds to follow or else. 

        Miserable, you followed him.

        The walk back was shorter than you'd liked. Gray had been on the ship the same amount of time as you but he knew just what turns to take. You tried dragging your feet, making conversations to slow him down but he caught on every time. Chided you sternly that one more squeak of your heel and he'd be forced to carry you to the Emperor. 

        Mohawk was on the observation deck. Gray stopped a bit away from the bottom of the stairs, wanting to stop whatever was going to happen. Your behavior had been dangerous and foolish, but he knew you didn't know what the Empire was capable of. He had taught multiple races what Viltrumites were capable of, and he was worried Mohawk would do the same. You stopped beside him still scowling but he could see the fear in the set of your body, hear your heart pounding.

        He was quiet, he didn't know what to say, he wanted to protect his mate, but like the version of you before, he couldn't defy the Empire, he had already made too many exceptions. You looked to the stairs while he considered, "Is he up there?"

        Gray nodded solemnly, "Yes, he's quite upset."

        You bristled, he had said the wrong thing again. "He's upset? Poor little Emperor. You're not upset about what he was doing? You kicked his ass just for touching me in the desert."

        He had been upset, had been upset everytime you chose to be with one of the others, but he respected that your situation was unique. But you hadn't chosen this situation and his anger had been shoved down just like it always had to be. He wanted to tell you everything, had from the moment he came inside you, from the moment you became his in his mind. But he knew there were cameras, had been hyper aware of them as a new recruit with his father. They had been an unconventional family by Viltrumite standards, and he had learned quickly to hide that on battle ships. Had learned even earlier to hide it in front of other Viltrumites. He didn't want to hide anything from you. But now wasn't the time or place to share. 

        "I'm in no place here to be upset, I can only follow orders. Your safety here relies on your ability to do the same."

        You scoffed, "Fuck you Gray, seriously. You guys keep acting like there's nothing you can do but there has to be something!"

        He looked at you, trying to communicate with only his eyes that he was helpless, had always been despite his desires to protect you. He reached his hand out to yours, a gesture his mother had always done to show sincerity, to show love. You batted him away, so he spoke instead, "There are Viltrumites here older than your planet's recorded history, and they obey the Emperor. You shouldn't upset him."

        You said nothing, only watched him with that same sour expression on your face. She had never looked at him so defiantly, only with fear, and he thought he would prefer that now. You were asking for punishment, for correction and it scared him. 

        "We shouldn't keep him waiting." 

        You turned to the stairs without him and began to climb silently. He followed behind.

        The chair you had sat in before was tucked away under the floor, Mohawk's back to you both as he watched space bend around the ship's window. He had been standing there stiffly a long time, letting the dread brew in you. He didn't turn, instead listening to the quickening of your heartbeat when you saw him. Gray had sent him a ping when he found you so he came here to wait, watching your dower approach on a screen embedded into the wrist of his suit.

        Gray lingered as you reached the deck. He should have left, he could feel Mohawk's murderous rage thick in the air. He spoke despite it, "Be patient with her, she is only human."

        Patience for lesser species didn't exist in the empire, it barely existed for other Viltrumites. Mohawk could feel how terrified he was for you. How attached. 

        "Leave." Was all Mohawk said, voice rife with impatience. Gray gave you the best sympathetic look he could, which read more constipated than anything, and left, though not fully. He hovered quietly at the bottom of the stairs, close enough he would be able to hear, maybe step in. Despite what he had told you, he wouldn't be able to stand by if the Emperor hurt you. He wasn't sure what he would do if anything happened, but he couldn't leave you. 

        The stairs were unguarded but you knew if you tried running things would be worse. You were frozen in place, terrified, angry and deeply lonely because nobody had been a friend to you today. It was just like you were back with Machine Head all over again, just a cog.

        "I care about you so much." Was not the opener Mohawk had planned but there it was, echoing off the walls. "I think about you all of the time. I wonder how I can make your life worth living. I knew her for years, I did it for her but not good enough. All I'm asking is you give me time to get to know you. I want to make you happy."

        It was sweet, the most genuine thing he had said to you, but you couldn't forget why he was angry at you in the first place. All at once your anger overrides your fear and you snapped, "You dry humped me in front of your council."

        He huffed a laugh, "And you directly disobeyed me. We're even now. I'll forgive you if you forgive me. I think we make a lot of sense. We're both angry people, we both care harder than we should about things we shouldn't. We can be good together, (Y/n)."

        The more he talked like this, the angrier you were. "I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not your Barbie doll. I'm not like you at all." That last part was a lie, you both knew it. "You love me so much? Then let me go cuz this?" He watched in the glass reflection as you pointed between you both, "Isn't fucking happening, you freak."

        He sighed, turned on the heels of his boots and faced you, forcing his expression into indifference. Under his clothes, his muscles twitched and flexed with the urge to hit something.

        "You know," his voice slipped into a menacing quiet as he took slow step after slow step towards you, "She never said rude shit like this to me and I still killed her. She listened better than you too. You should watch what you say to me." He hadn't wanted to steer the conversation this way. Really, he had wanted you to break down crying, to apologize for being so ungrateful. He'd have forgiven you, fucked you till you were numb and dumb. But he knew that probably wouldn't happen, that was why he came prepared.

        You were scared. Mohawk could see it all over your face but still you pushed. "Kill me then. I bet it'll work out sooooo well for you." You both knew his plans for the empire would crumble without you to keep the other Marks satiated. 

        Mohawk's mask of indifference cracked down the center. "Would you stop complaining then?"

        "Yeah, I'd be dead."

        His brow twitched. "You really don't know when to stop."

        "Neither do you." Words fall to the floor and there is silence. Neither of you move, it was a western standoff at not-quite high noon. You couldn't take it, his scrutiny. You just wanted this to be over. "Don't do that ever try and fuck me in f-"

        Mohawk was all you could see, right in front of you, hand hard on your throat. Crushing the words before they could come out. "Don't tell me what to do." His eyes were dark, flashing feral, but all you could focus on was the pressure in your head. So fast and absolute you thought he was going to crush your windpipe right there. "I didn't want to do this but you just had to be a bitch." You actually were going to die and you couldn't even beg for your life.

        Something cold was slapped around your throat. Encompassing it, replacing Mohawk's hand before it was shut tight. You gasped in air, gagging, pulling at the thing as Mohawk stepped back. Finished. The labs had a short turnaround with the design process but they'd made it work. Especially with the cute metal heart in the black center of the collar. 

        Your heart was racing. You didn't know why he was just standing there watching. You wanted to run, but you knew you wouldn't make it. You settled for trying to tear the thing clasped around your neck off. It had some give, sides occasionally dotted with cool, rounded metal. You scrambled for a back clasp but there wasn't one. You felt around with shaking hands for anything to take it off but whatever you tried did nothing. 

        "What is this!?" You couldn't keep the panic out of your voice. You didn't know what it meant, but the cool metal touching your neck set off memories of prison, of being helpless and afraid. 

        "A collar," he said, smiling meanly, "because you act like such a bitch."

        "Are you serious? Take this off m-" You couldn't scream because you couldn't breathe. The electricity that shot into your neck made all of your muscles seize at once, your nerves screaming at each other. It was worse than being shot, stabbed, gutted. It was fire all over, under the skin, in your bones. You didn't know you'd fallen to the floor until it stopped, the aftershocks rippling through your twitching muscles. 

        Your vision pulsed around your hands splayed on the floor, framing a pool of spit that still leaked out your lips. It took multiple attempts to make your neck work the way you want it to, to look up at Mohawk who looked deeply content. "I forgot to mention, it's a shock collar. From now on, anytime you use your powers at all, that'll happen."

        You opened drool-slick lips to tell him to die but you couldn't talk, muscles jumping, heart pounding in your ears.

        "Ah, shit, maybe I should turn it down a little." He tapped at a screen set on his wrist. "Okay, now try." You didn't, could barely process the command. "Fine, disobey me, I bet that'll go so well for you! Lemme just try the remote control." The pain was back again. It didn't matter that it was lessened when your body was already so abused. When you returned to yourself, you were laid twitching on your side, tears being forced out of your eyes. "How was that? Still feeling like an asshole?"

        Through the erratic twist and pull of your muscles your hands shot up and tried to pull the collar off. He smiled, "Oh baby, no one can take that off but me. You're stuck with it until you learn how to behave."

        You didn't stop pulling couldn't stop even as the panic ebbed away. You were trapped again, going to be worn down to an empty husk once again. The tears weren't forced anymore. 

[qls-hostsevents]

Introducing the QPR August 2025 prompts!

(plain text underneath for all pictures under the read more)

Starting from now you can plan, outline or pre-write as many fics as you want! We just ask that you do not publish anything until August 4th.

The master week repeats each week (so we will cycle through it 4 times) and assigns an extra challenge to those who want it! It is not necessary to do this, and you can ignore it if wanted.

We've provided 10 Alt prompts to use in place of the main prompts, so feel free to mix and match if something isn't quite your fancy!

Good luck writing, and we hope to see you in August!

Main prompts:

The prompts are set out in the following order: Quote, three word prompts, and a song.

Spring (week 1):

Aug 4: "Did you just trip?", Snow on the beach | Flower crowns | Easter, Wildflowers by Tom Petty

Aug 5: "Are you okay?", Healing | Painting | Weekend get-away, Ultimately by Khai Dreams

Aug 6: "Can I stay here for a while?", Flood | Death | Hospital, You smell of dead flowers by Vslush

Aug 7: "Do you think we're friends in every universe?", Bruises | Magic | Allergies, Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe

Aug 8: "Not all of us are what we seem.", Exhaustion | Hiking | Bird watching, FUNGUS by The Narcissist Cookbook

Aug 9: "Can we talk?", Blood | Sacrifice | Chronic Illness, It gets better by Bears in Trees

Aug 10: "You're allowed to make mistakes.", DnD | First Meeting | Concert, Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Summer (week 2):

Aug 11: "You remembered.", Beach | Sunset | Volleyball, The nights by Avicii

Aug 12: "You're a liar.", Hope | Sunrise | Stars, Stubborn love by The Lumineers

Aug 13: "People will do a lot of things to survive.", Sunburn | Thunderstorm | Dehydration, Next of kin by Alvvays

Aug 14: "Would you even care if I died?", Hyperthermia | Trip gone wrong | Drowning, Half return by Adrianne Lenker

Aug 15: "What's wrong?", Car rides | Salt water | Wine, Orange sky by Alex Murdoch

Aug 16: "They're an idiot but they're my idiot.", Summer rain | Hot | Movie night, Mice on Venus by C418

Aug 17: "Who did this?", Friendship bracelets | Summer solstice | Jealousy, Burial blessing by Johnny Flynn

Autumn (week 3):

Aug 18: "I don't even know how to swim.", Harvest | Halloween | Rain, Home by Edith Whiskers

Aug 19: "You're overthinking it.", Cozy | Pumpkin | School, We fell in love in October by Girl in Red

Aug 20: "I can still see your ghost.", Overwhelmed | Spooky | Party, Candy by The Blasting Company

Aug 21: "I'm scared.", Cobwebs | Graveyard | Haunted, The woods by San Fermin

Aug 22: "Can you come pick me up?", Flu | Baking | Carnival, Flesh and bone by Madilyn Mei

Aug 23: Are you sick of me?", Nightmare | Library | Maze, Stars will fall by Duster

Aug 24: "I hope I never lose you.", Birthday | Thanksgiving | New neighborhood, Millie, warm the kettle by Rabbitology

Winter (week 4):

Aug 25: "You're horrible.", Fever | Skiing | Cat, The universe by Gregory Alan Isakov

Aug 26: "You need sleep.", Gifts | Jumper | Snow, Comfort chain by Instupendo

Aug 27: "Who are you when nobody's watching?", Hypothermia | Hibernate | Burns, Juliet by Cavetown

Aug 28: "I'm not sick.", Fire | Cold as ice | Wind, Sleeping by Gigi Perez

Aug 29: "How do I know you're not lying?", Blizzard | Hot chocolate | Buried, Northern attitude by Noah Kahan

Aug 30: "It's okay. I'm here.", Blankets | Snowman | Christmas, First love/Late spring by Mitski

Aug 31: "It hurts.", Shadows | Festival | Cuddling, Ivory tower by Philip Ayers

---

Master week:

Each day has 3 different genres/tropes to chose from

Day 1: Comedy | Fluff | Crack treated seriously

Day 2: Contemporary | Fluff | Domestic Fluff

Day 3: Dystopian | Angst | (Character) needs a hug

Day 4: Horror | Angst | Hurt no comfort

Day 5: Mystery | Hurt/Comfort | Academic rivals

Day 6: Sci-fi | Hurt/Comfort | Platonic soulmates

Day 7: Fantasy | Wild card | Enemies to qpps

---

Alt prompts:

The prompts are set out in the following order: Quote, an au, and a song.

Alt 1: “Sorry, I can't hang out today. I have to study for exams.”, High School AU, F.M.I.D by Pigeon Pit

Alt 2: “I know our kingdoms are enemies, but why does that mean we can't be friends?”, Royalty AU, Joan by Madilyn Mei

Alt 3: “Wait, you two know each other?”, Crossover AU, Alice by PEGGY

Alt 4: “I don't want to be a hero.”, Superpowers/Superheroes AU, Lion by Saint Mesa

Alt 5: “You didn't have to save me.”, Pirates AU, Sailor's boots by Frank Turner

Alt 6: “Hey, do we know each other?”, Coffee Shop AU, Happiness will ruin this place by San Fermin

Alt 7: “It's not my blood.”, Criminals AU, A bank robber's nursery rhyme by Goodnight, Texas

Alt 8: “I don't work for criminals. Not without the right price.”, Cyberpunk AU, Radioactive by Imagine dragons

Alt 9: “Did we just get attacked by a mythical creature?”, Mythology AU, Run boy run by WOODKID

Alt 10: “I'm barely tolerating you as it is.”, Pop Star, Meant for you by OMFG

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Announcing the Picks and Shovels book tour

This week only, Barnes and Noble is offering 25% off pre-orders of my forthcoming novel Picks and Shovels.

My next novel, Picks and Shovels, is officially out in the US and Canada on Feb 17, and I'm about to leave on a 20+ city book-tour, which means there's a nonzero chance I'll be in a city near you between now and the end of the spring!

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865908/picksandshovels

Picks and Shovels is a standalone novel starring Martin Hench – my hard-charging, two-fisted, high-tech forensic accountant – in his very first adventure, in the early 1980s. It's a story about the Weird PC era, when no one was really certain what shape PCs should be, who should make them, who should buy them, and what they're for. It features a commercial war between two very different PC companies.

The first one, Fidelity Computing, is a predatory multi-level marketing faith scam, run by a Mormon bishop, a Catholic priest, and an orthodox rabbi. Fidelity recruits people to exploit members of their faith communities by selling them third-rate PCs that are designed as rip-off lock-ins, forcing you to buy special floppies for their drives, special paper for their printers, and to use software that is incompatible with everything else in the world.

The second PC company is Computing Freedom, a rebel alliance of three former Fidelity Computing sales-managers: an orthodox woman who's been rejected by her family after coming out as queer; a Mormon woman who's rejected the Church over its opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment, and a nun who's quit her order to join the Liberation Theology movement in the struggle for human rights in America's dirty wars.

In the middle of it all is Martin Hench, coming of age in San Francisco during the PC bubble, going to Dead Kennedys shows, getting radicalized by ACT UP!, and falling in love – all while serving as CFO and consigliere to Computing Freedom, as a trade war turns into a shooting war, and they have to flee for their lives.

The book's had fantastic early reviews, with endorsements from computer historians like Steven Levy (Hackers), Claire Evans (Broad-Band), John Markoff (What the Doormouse Said) and Dan'l Lewin (CEO of the Computer History Museum). Stephen Fry raved that he "hugely enjoyed" the "note perfect," "superb" story.

And I'm about to leave on tour! I have nineteen confirmed dates, and two nearly confirmed dates, and there's more to come! I hope you'll consider joining me at one of these events. I've got a bunch of fantastic conversation partners joining me onstage and online, and the bookstores that are hosting me are some of my favorite indie booksellers in the world.

BOSTON (Feb 14): Boskone, 4PM, Westin Boston Seaport District

BOSTON (Feb 14): Brookline Booksmith with KEN LIU, 7PM, 279 Harvard Street, Brookline

VIRTUAL (Feb 15): YANIS VAROUFAKIS, sponsored by Jacobin and hosted by David Moscrop, 10AM Pacific, 1PM Eastern, 6PM UK, 7PM CET

MENLO PARK (Feb 17): Kepler’s Books with CHARLIE JANE ANDERS, 7PM, 1010 El Camino Real

LOS ANGELES (Feb 18): Diesel Bookstore with WIL WHEATON, 630PM, 225 26th Street, Santa Monica

SEATTLE (Feb 19): Third Place Books with DAN SAVAGE, 7PM, 17171 Bothell Way NW Lake Forest Park

TORONTO (Feb 23): Another Story, 630PM, 315 Roncesvalles Ave

NYC (Feb 26): The Strand with JOHN HODGMAN, 7PM, 828 Broadway

PENN STATE (Feb 27): Kern Auditorium, 7PM, 112 Kern Building

DOYLESTOWN (Mar 1): Doylestown Bookshop, 12PM, 16 S Main St

BALTIMORE (Mar 2): Red Emma’s, 2PM, 630PM, 3128 Greenmount Ave

DC (Mar 4): Cleveland Park Library with MATT STOLLER, 630PM, 3310 Connecticut Ave NW

RICHMOND (Mar 5): Fountain Bookstore with LEE VINSEL, 6PM, 1312 E Cary St

AUSTIN (Mar 10): First Light Books, 7PM, 4300 Speedway/43rd

BURBANK (Mar 13): Dark Delicacies, 6PM, 822 N. Hollywood Way

SAN DIEGO (Mar 24): Mysterious Galaxy, 7PM, 3555 Rosecrans

BELFAST (Mar 24) (remote): Imagine! Festival with ALAN MEBAN, 7PM UK

CHICAGO, Apr 2: Exile in Bookville with PETER SAGAL, 7PM, 410 S Michigan Ave, 2nd floor

BLOOMINGTON, Apr 4: Morgenstern Books, 6PM, 642 N Madison St

PDX, Jun 20 (TBC): Powell’s Books (date and time to be confirmed)

I'm also finalizing plans for one or two dates in NEW ZEALAND at the end of April, as well as a ATLANTA date, likely on March 26.

I really hope you'll come out and say hello. I know these are tough times. Hanging out with nice people who care about the same stuff as you is a genuine tonic.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/06/picks-and-shovels-tour/#19-cities-plus-plus

[haologram]

araneae 🕸️ k.sy (teaser)

🕸️ synopsis: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues. 🕸️ genre: friends with benefits au ; big dummy dumb idiots to lovers because it's the only trope ever ; ta x student dynamics ; fluff, angst & eventual smut (surprise?) 🕸️ pairing: zoology ta!kwon soonyoung x marine biology major!reader | side pairings: joshua hong x sana minatozaki ; vernon chwe x roh jisun (fromis_9) ; mentions of reader x yuta nakamoto (nct) 🕸️ word count: 2.8k | full fic: i don't fuckin' know but hopefully under 20k. 🕸️ rating: 18+. minors do not interact i beg. 🕸️ warnings: mentions of knife play (none involved), alcohol, mentions of protected sex (dw it'll get freaky later), mentions of cum, loss of virginity talk, mentions of marijuana (stoner!hoshi be off the honeypacks!!), they're naked for most of this snippet. a lot of parties later in the fic, just wait LOL. 🕸️ what to listen to: good kisser - usher ; magic stick - lil' kim ; more to come.

LAST YEAR – Sunday, October 23.

You were never opposed to a nice Halloween party. Lots of thematic drinks, stupid boys dressed as Ghostface trying to explore knife kinks, and girls going all out with their glitter make-up and tinsel in their hair for the optimal fairy costume. 

You loved a good Halloween party, music blasting out of the speakers that were stolen from the AV Club by the softer version of the Beta Tau Omega brothers. Dancing with strangers in sweat-soaked facades, and waking up with smeared face paint all over your neck and shoulders from whatever disguised hook-up you'd taken home that night.

Last night's rager had to have been one for the books, because you have no idea how you ended up in this absolute mess of a bedroom – owned by none other than your close friend, Kwon Soonyoung. The same Kwon Soonyoung who also happens to TA the class you've put off taking for the last two years, and are set to start taking the upcoming spring semester.

The same Kwon Soonyoung that was related to the wife of the Dean, and the same Kwon Soonyoung that showed up everywhere stoned or ready to get stoned. The very same Kwon Soonyoung that made infused pre-rolls and edibles for nearly the entire campus…for free. Even you could see that was a horrible business call, and you were a Science major.

Soonyoung who helped people sneak kittens into their dorm rooms and make homes for them under lofted beds. Soonyoung, who taught a dance class and self-defense class back to back, so he was never free until after nine at night. Soonyoung who made hanging out seem like he was trying to get into your pants because he was just naturally flirtatious (and somehow, still absolutely bitchless.)

Soonyoung who you've kissed twice since meeting him two years ago, both times at Halloween parties hosted by his stupid fraternity. Soonyoung, who has had his hand up your skirt twice before someone interrupts you by asking if he has any weed at hand. He always does, and it's always in his car or his bedroom. He always goes, and a part of you, no matter how into it you may be, knows it's for the best. He keeps his circle small, of friends that is. You were added to the mix sometime after your first Halloween party (and first kiss together) your  freshman year, when he slammed into you in the middle of the economics hallway, breaking your laptop in the process. He'd felt so bad he took you to Best Buy that same night and shelled out two grand for a new one and even invited you out to lunch the next day.

He did not remember making out at all. To be fair, neither did you until the digital photos came back and he texted you a picture of the two of you kissing against the Beta Tau insignia on the wall. You were so embarrassed you avoided him for a week after, but he quickly forced you out of your dorm for a movie night. The two of you became fast friends, bonding over silly little things and enjoying each other's company – but it didn't stop the rumors from flying that you were a freshman stealing a guy from the sophomores. 

You remember that he adamantly denied any and every dating rumor flung your way, and even went as far as distancing himself from you for a bit – but when you tried to pull the same move he had earlier that year, he said maybe it was best for the two of you to remain friends from a distance. You didn't speak to him for the rest of the year, choosing to spend your time with friends your age and even dating a transfer student named Yuta Nakamoto, who was also in Soonyoung's year.

When word got around, Soonyoung was pissed – but didn't attempt to rekindle your friendship. He still followed you on Instagram, and still felt a bit of anger puddle in his stomach as he liked photo after photo of the two of you together, biting his tongue at the empty smile you held by his side.

This continued well into summer, and he saw the two of you take a trip to Jeju Island together, before breaking up the following week. Soonyoung heard from your friend, Nagyung, that he was transferring back and neither of you wanted to try long-distance. 

The following school year, he watched as you got recruited by sorority after sorority – eventually joining his frat's sister sorority, Alpha Sigma Delta. You hardly had to rush, the girls actively pushing you to pledge and you were far too nice to say no. 

You saw him again for the first time at the Halloween party planning, when you and your fellow pledges were tasked with helping the frat pledges in hauling in liquor. You weren't very happy about it, but Soonyoung whisked you away without a word from you, telling everyone that he needed your help with a certain task.

That task? "Can we talk?"

And you did. You talked, and talked, and talked. He even left at one point to get drinks for the two of you, returning to you fishing through his bag of pre-rolls for the ones infused with lemon balm. He smiled, telling you they were in his car, and you rolled your eyes at it.

You kissed at that party, too. It went further this time – the two of you on Seungcheol's balcony. The idea had been to go up to the roof and get crossed, but it seems a rather tipsy Soonyoung had other ideas. You didn't mind it, in fact you encouraged it – you slipped his hand up your latex dress, you let him slip your panties down your legs. "Hey, Hoshi! Do you have any pre-rolls?!" 

Just as he'd started undoing his pants.

"Fuck, I'm sorry baby."

"It's fine."

You passed out in his bedroom that time, too tired to go back to the sorority house with your sisters. You got out of clean-up, and Soonyoung left you a kimbap roll and an electrolyte drink on his nightstand, with a note asking how you got there 'haha.' 

It hadn't been fine. Again, neither of you remembered this happening until digitals were printed. And it was freshman year all over again – except this time, Soonyoung stuck around. Soonyoung defended you tooth and nail, and even dropped a few of his friends that bad-mouthed you. When you asked him about it, he shrugged, "Nothing wrong with kissing your friends every once in a while." So, here you are. Again.

The third year in a row you and your stupid friend have made out, and somehow, you're in his bed. There's no other explanation as for why your underwear is across the room, hanging off his lamp and why his head is gently laying on your chest. There's literally no other explanation.

"Soonyoung." You rasp, patting his cheek. He doesn't stir, but pouts into your bare breast. "Soonyoung." You speak louder, shaking him slightly as he peels open one of his eyes. 

"Yeah?" It takes him a moment to realize that it's you, sprinkled with glitter from his eye look last night and practically doused in his saliva.

"Oh, fuck." He just furrows his brows, rolling off your chest with a groan. He sits up at the edge of the bed, surveying the room before realizing he's got no pants on. "Son of a bitch. Did we…Yup. Yup, it's right there." His painted fingernails point at the discarded condom atop his dresser, flung hastily in a half-asleep attempt, most likely. You sigh, letting your head fall back on your pillow with a hmph. He does the same, his fingers only reaching up slightly to close the blinds with a jerk of the liftcord.

"You think it was good?" You ask with a small smile, and he snorts. "It was with you, I doubt it would've been bad."

Silence permeates the air again, before he sees your bare bottom half also covered in glitter. You have a tattoo on your hip that you didn't have when you first met. It's a stick-and-poke kitten. "Nice tattoo." "Thanks, I got it on Jeju Island." "When you and Yuta went?" "Yup." "Cool." He sits up, peering down at you with tired eyes. "What'd you see in that guy, anyway?"

"Hm?" "Yuta." "Oh. You want the truth?" It's like being nude in front of each other isn't a big deal. It's like having slept together after years of being in limbo means nothing. It's all so normal, the way you allow him to practically eye fuck you.

"I was sad you stopped being my friend." He blinks at you, watching the way you carefully pick at a thread loose in his comforter. You pull it out, discarding it behind you with a soft smile. "Does that answer your question?" "You fucked another guy because I stopped being your friend?" He asks incredulously, and you shrug. "Not just, but it was a large reason."

"You lost your virginity to him." His eyes are wide, and you shrug once more, nodding your head. "Yup." "Did he make you cum?" "Soonyoung-" "Did he?"

You sigh, patting his comforter. "Not the first couple of times, no. He got better at it, though. It was decent." 

Nodding, he clears his throat.

"Do you think I-" "Maybe. I don't know. I don't remember much, just the Pink Whitney Mingyu gave me." "Mingyu does love his Pink Whitney." You flip onto your back again, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. Tucking your hands behind your head, you speak again. "Do you think I went down on you?" "There's lipstick on my tip." "What color?" "Uhh…wine red." You wipe a finger across your bottom lip, the small amount of residue a bloody, Cabernet red. "Hm. Checks out."

The air feels…comfortable.

"Wanna shower?" "Yeah." "Can I shower with you?" "Yeah, Soonie."

The two of you stretch simultaneously, before rolling to the side of the bed and standing up. He grabs the discarded condom off the dresser, holding it like a used tissue and taking it to the bin. You dig through his dresser for a towel, and he fishes out something for you to wear.

"Boxers okay?" "Hm, I prefer briefs." "On me or on you?" "Your underwear choices are your business." He holds up a pair of Spiderman briefs. You bite back your laugh and nod silently, extending your hand for them.

He disappears into his bathroom, flickering lights on and turning the shower head on. "Hot?" "Boiling." "Got it."

The both of you get in, and you close your eyes as the water pelts your back. Soonyoung says nothing as he moves your hair off your shoulders and away from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You should've asked me." He mumbles, reaching for the shampoo in the caddy behind you. Peeling your eyes open, you look up at him with a confused stare. "Asked you for what?" He shrugs, holding the shampoo bottle upside down over his hand and squirting some out. "I would've made you cum the first time." You snort, shoving his chest lightly. "Yeah, well…you didn't. It's fine." "This isn't weird to you?" "What? Showering together?" "After fucking, yeah." "Could be worse." "How?" "I could be that girl you've been flirting with since last year, wondering when you're going to text her back." "Who? Yujin?" "Yeah." "I'm not flirting with her, what made you think that?" "Stolen glances, flirty touches, you give her pre-rolls all the time." He rolls his eyes as he cards his fingers through your hair, his dull nails scrubbing your scalp gently. Your eyes flutter shut, and he huffs. "I give everyone pre-rolls." "Because you're a horrible business magnate." 

"No, because I'm nice." You smile without opening your eyes, your hands reaching out to touch his chest. His body feels good under your fingertips, you realize. "Are you mad you don't remember any of it?" "Furious." He mutters, gently tilting your head back to wash the soap out. You can't see the way he's looking at the sweet slope of your neck, just barely making out small nips of his teeth across your throat. Your necklace hangs nicely. The rest of the shower remains silent, as he carefully washes you before himself. His attention to detail is insane, the way his fingers hold the washcloth taut so he can feel every inch of you. He has to commit this to memory.

After, you're drying your hair with a random t-shirt he gave you. He remembers you told him that towels can be too rough for your hair texture sometimes. It's only when you're brushing your teeth with a brand new toothbrush he pulled from his cabinets that he speaks. "Let me change my bedsheets." "Don't wanna lay in the sin of fucking your friend, do ya?" The navy blue sheets are quickly replaced by ones with light grey ditsy floral print, and his comforter is shoved off and replaced by a few throw blankets. He watches as you change his pillowcases, only looking away when he hears his phone ping.

Msg From: Cheol [9:32am] hosh [9:32am] who is the girl in ur room and is she missing a pair of cat ears

"What was your costume last night?" He asks, and you snort. "I was a sexy witch." He smiles to himself as he picks up his phone.

Msg To: Cheol [9:33am] not missing a pair of cat ears [9:34am] and it's y/n

Your head snaps up when you hear a pair of feet thundering up the stairs, followed by silence. You give him an odd look, only to hear excited giggles down the hall and the pitter-patter of two adult men coming towards Soonyoung's room. You cross your arms as you hear the door creak open, an expectant look on your face as Jeonghan and Seungcheol's noses appear through the crack. "Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Jeonghan remarks sweetly, and you just roll your eyes.

"He wasn't bluffing." He whispers to Seungcheol, receiving an annoyed huff from Soonyoung. "If you're done intruding on my personal business, I'd appreciate it if you left. The pledges still need to clean up last night's mess." Jeonghan gives you a wry look. "Can I say something and you don't get upset?" "If it's about sex, I will punch you in that pretty face of yours." You say pointedly, fluffing the pillow in your hand before throwing it onto his bed. Jeonghan purses his lips, nodding before sliding out from under Seungcheol. He nods his head, a satisfied look on his face. "Have a good…don't fuck too loud, okay?" Soonyoung barely misses Seungcheol's face with the charger he throws across the room, his giggle being heard in the hallway as he barrels down the stairs.

"Idiots." He huffs, running a hand through his damp hair as you flop onto the bed. "You don't mind if I stay here a bit? My head's killing me."

He lays down next to you, a sigh escaping his lips.

"You okay, Soonie?" Turning only his head, he scans your face. Tired eyes lined with thick lashes, plump lips covered by the Aquaphor in his bathroom. Slightly unkempt brows and your shoulder tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt on your frame.

"Kitty?" You grimace at the pet name, one he christened you with when the two of you met. He'd been dressed up as a cowboy, and dancing with a skeleton that was stolen from the comparative anatomy students (with the help of Junhui, of course.) He also had a lit joint between his fingers, one that sprinkled ash over your newly healed shoulder tattoo and made you yelp in pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry, kitty." He quickly put it out in a nearby ashtray, dusting your shoulder of any ash residue. "It's fine, it's fine. Just…can I get a hit?"

"Yeah?" He sits up, leaning against his bed frame before looking down at you.  "Would it be weird if I asked to try again?"

You glance up at him, an amused smile playing on your lips. "Try what again, exactly?"

He clears his throat, a beet red blush coating his cheeks. "You said Yuta didn't make you cum. And we don't know if I made you cum. So…can I have a redemption round?"

You've sat up at this point, a small laugh falling from your lips as you push your hair back, "You want to fuck me?"

"I can just go down on you, if, uh…if that's what you'd prefer." He stutters, mentally cursing himself. You glance at him, eyes scanning his face. "And we're still friends after this? You won't dump me?"

"I won't. I promise. Cross my heart, kitty." He holds his pinky finger out, insinuating you link yours. Sighing, you do just that. "Fine. Hop to, I want breakfast."

haologram © 2024 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender: A TLOU Story - Complete Series Master List

Cover Art by @gizmogurlie41786 WHO IS AMAZING

Joel couldn’t say the real reason he needed Sarah to stay home that night. You were in a fucking sundress with a ribbon in your hair. A goddamn ribbon. And you’d been cooking, the whole house smelled like heaven and you were in a fucking sundress with a goddamn ribbon in your hair and now he was going to be home alone with you all night. Not that anything was going to happen. Nothing was going to happen. Not a damn thing.

***

You're a college student in Austin, Texas, who gets a summer job nannying Sarah Miller. It's not long before her dad sees you as more than a babysitter - or more than a friend. But life - and an apocalypse - have other plans.

An age-gap grumpy/sunshine friends-to-lovers (and eventually friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers) fanfic that starts pre-outbreak. Series is now complete and spans from Spring, 2000, through Fall, 2029, in the HBO timeline.

My casting of the OCs

Lavender Ch. 1

Lavender Ch. 2

Lavender Ch. 3

Lavender Ch. 4

Lavender Ch. 5

Lavender Ch. 6

Lavender Ch. 7

Lavender Ch. 8

Lavender Ch. 9

Lavender Ch. 10

Lavender Ch. 11

Lavender Ch. 12

Lavender Ch. 13

Lavender Ch. 14

Lavender Ch. 15

Lavender Ch. 16

Lavender Ch. 17

Lavender Ch. 18

Lavender Ch. 19

Lavender Ch. 20

Lavender Ch. 21

Lavender Ch. 22

Lavender Ch. 23

Lavender Ch. 24

Lavender Ch. 25

Lavender Ch. 26

Lavender Ch. 27

Lavender Ch. 28

Lavender Ch. 29

Lavender Ch. 30

Lavender Ch. 31

Lavender Ch. 32

Lavender Ch. 33

Lavender Ch. 34

Lavender Ch. 35

Lavender Ch. 36

Lavender Ch. 37

Lavender Ch. 38

Lavender Ch. 39

Lavender Ch. 40

Lavender Ch. 41

Lavender Ch. 42

Lavender Ch. 43

Lavender Ch. 44

Lavender Ch. 45

Lavender Ch. 46

Lavender Ch. 47

Lavender Ch. 48

Lavender Ch. 49

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy @pedritosdarling @winchestergypsy90 @imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1 @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @pedrosaidsheispunk @commanderawkward @n7cje @elliesgirlll @tsunamistorm123 @spookyxsam @leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81 @pedropascalfan221 @pedr0swh0r3 @pedrobae @fifia-writes @fatima-marisa @acf2023 @1soff @encephalitiskat @ashleymsnodgrass @karlinspace

[elminx]

Energy Update: April 2025

April is a "4" Universal Month [4 (April) + 9 (2025) = 13 = 1+3=4] in a "9" Universal Year. 4 Months are concerned with shoring things up and creating structure, which is very needed after a complicated eclipse season and two personal planet retrogrades in March.

The Set Up

We begin April with the Sun and Neptune in Aries; Retrograde Mercury, Retrograde Venus, and Saturn in Pisces; Mars in Cancer, Jupiter in Gemini, Uranus in Taurus; and Pluto in Capricorn. There will be major planetary movements this month: the Sun enters Taurus (as usual), Mercury stations direct and then enters Aries, Venus stations direct and then enters Aries, and Mars enters Leo.

The Nitty Gritty

We know that everything is changing when every single one of our personal planets switches signs in a single month. We've been in a personal planet retrograde cycle since November when Mars entered his pre-retrograde shadow in late Cancer with only one week without a retrograde since. In April, Mercury and Venus station direct, and Mars finally exits Cancer for the last time in this cycle. This should provide some relief as, overall, the constant interpersonal shitstorm we've been experiencing since the end of last year finally begins to subside.

Neither of our three personal planets is out of their respective post-retrograde shadows yet, though, so we still have some ground to re-trace and re-imagine before we're entirely out of this storm.

Still, progress is being made.

Our Lights: the Sun and the Moon

As we pull away from eclipse season, the general energy will get much lighter and brighter. We may finally feel like we've entered the easy season of spring. Our Sun only makes two significant aspects all month long: a conjunction with Chiron in Aries, a reminder of the past, and a square with Mars that checks in on our future.

We're in the in-between all month long, and it shows.

The Sun in Aries sextiles Jupiter in Gemini on 4/6, which hints to us that good times are to come - Jupiter is in its exile in Gemini, and we've all been pretty down on our luck for a while now. Now, finally, Jupiter is making moves to exit Gemini, which will drastically improve the odds of anything good happening on this earth - stay tuned for this summer for this positive transition. For now, this sextile is a glimmer - a hint that something good is on the horizon.

Then, we get our first lunar event post-eclipse season, a full moon at 23° Libra on 4/12 that is tightly opposed to Chiron in Aries. This is highly significant if you remember a year ago when our total solar eclipse in April included a stellium of the Sun, the Moon, retrograde Mercury, and Chiron in Aries. This full moon will be a call back to that day, but from a different angle (full moon instead of new). What have we learned with a year to reflect on what was coming up in April 2024?

This last set of eclipses included an Aries solar eclipse, the last eclipse on the Aries-Libra axis that we will experience for the next thirteen years. We are rounding things out, and the endings may pour in hard and fast. This could be a triggering day for some - especially those with personal planets in the cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn), and most specifically those found in the last decan that was affected by the solar eclipse a year ago and now this full moon as well.

With Chiron, our Wounded Healer, in play, this will hurt. This is by design. We live in a society that views pain as anathema, but often (in a body that is functioning properly anyway), pain is a signal that we should be paying attention. What is painful needs addressing during this full moon, and it might hit very hard at the core of your ego and who you think you are. This is also the day Venus stations direct at 24° Pisces in a close stellium with Saturn and the North Node, which will bring back some of the eclipse energy even though it's not actively an eclipsed moon.

Things might feel slightly out of control or fated during this time. It looks like the kind of day where the big flex is to hold onto your butt and try to enjoy the ride.

Our Libra full moon is an 8/3 full moon.

7 (Libra moon) + 1 (Aries Sun) = 8. 8 (Libra Full Moon) + 4 (April 2025) = 12 = 1+2 =3. The number 8 is an ouroboros, or infinity sign turned upwards. It often represents a rollercoaster of energy and emotions—ultimate highs and lowest lows, one right after the other. This energy signature is similar to erratic eclipse energy, which Venus's stellium is bringing into play. 3 is our base manifestation number. If you can ride these waves, great (magical) results await you on the far shore.

The Sun enters Taurus on 4/19, which will cause life to slow down a bit as we enter the season of our fixed earth sign. This is a time to sit back and enjoy what spring offers. We are seeing our first spring harvests of fresh fruits and vegetables, and spring flowers are fully blooming. Taurus season is a time meant for enjoyment as the sign of the bull can be, at times, downright hedonistic. As Mercury and Venus are finally in forward motion again, this is when we can rest a bit more and perhaps try to recuperate and recover.

With the Sun now in fixed Taurus, it begins to interplay with Mars in fixed Leo and Pluto in fixed Aquarius to create a t-square in our skies. This is where the shoring up of our "4" month energy comes into play. Although these three fixed signs are all in stressful positions with one another (the Sun squares both Mars and Pluto, who are in opposition), fixed signs have one thing in common: they all require a heavy dose of security to operate at their best.

If you are feeling out of sorts or shaken up by the aftermath of the eclipses and retrogrades, now is the time to take stock of what happened and figure out how to ground yourself into the now. Because it is Taurus season (fixed earth), dirt will be a significant ally during this time.

The Sun squares Mars in Leo on 4/20, a day to question where we are going and what steps we can take to make our dreams a reality. Think big, but map out tangible, achievable steps. The Sun squares Pluto on 4/23, which has the opposite effect: here is a day to think big and focus on what we can eliminate to lighten the load on our journey forward. (Mars directly opposes Pluto on 4/26, which is yet another day to focus on this t-square)

And finally, on 4/27, we have our first new moon after the eclipse season. This is, arguably, the best day of the month as the retrogrades have ended, eclipse season is complete, and we are finally at a new beginning in the oh-so-fertile (dirt fertile, you gutter-minded fools) Taurus. This is a perfect day to pivot in any way you need to and set goals for Spring and the year ahead.

Our Taurus new moon is a 4/8 new moon.

2 (Taurus moon) + 2 (Taurus Sun) = 4. 4 (Taurus new moon) + 4 (April 2025) = 8.

We can see that there is likely still some stressor here, brought in through the repeated "8" energy from the Libra full moon earlier, but we are getting somewhere. And, this day carries "4" energy that echoes the "4" energy of the month. Settle in and take real, tangible steps toward the life you want. And maybe eat some pie. Taurus loves pie.

Mercury

We are most of the way through our first Mercury retrograde of the year, which ends on 4/7 at 26° Pisces. After stationing direct, Mercury enters Aries on 4/16, the third big hit to 00° Aries, our major power point of 2025, and arguably the biggest hit of this point, Mercury-wise. Either of these dates is a powerful day for road opening, pathfinding, or any other type of Mercury magic you might wish to cast.

As Mercury enters Aries, they will conjunct Neptune and sextile Pluto. I wouldn't expect either of these events to be noticed or particularly eventful in and of themselves.

Mercury isn't at its best in Aries, but it is much better suited there than in Pisces, where it was both in its exile and detriment. We should all watch out for speaking out of turn or being too ego-driven in our opinions during this time. We're in post-retrograde territory from 4/7-4/26, so we might fall into that same old hole with miscommunications, whatever that means for you. I'd remind you to think before you speak, but neither Pisces nor Aries is known for doing that, so take that with a whole bucket full of salt.

Communication may finally settle more around 4/26 as Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow. Notably, 09° Aries was the point of our solar eclipse in March, so things may feel a bit angsty and larger than life as we pass through this transition.

Venus

Like Mercury, Venus will round out the last legs of her 40-day retrograde journey as we enter the month of April. Until she stations direct on 4/12 under the light of the Libra full moon (ruled by Venus), we will be working to reform and rediscover how we interact with others. Venus always gets called the planet and romance, but that is overly simplistic - she rules over how we interact with others diplomatically and not-so-diplomatically. When Venus is well placed in the skies, interpersonal relationships tend to run more smoothly; when she is poorly placed, they are more likely to go awry.

Mars, our other relationship planet, was retrograde from December through the end of February, so we've been in this relationship hole for a while now. Times like this test the strength of our interpersonal relationships (big R and otherwise). Undoubtedly, there have been breakups and big reveals. It's been notable that both Venus and Mars have been poorly placed through each of their retrogrades (Venus retrogrades in Aries, the sign of her exile, and Mars retrogrades in Cancer, the sign of his fall). Everybody has been out of patience, out of time, and too emotionally strung out to be able to do more than the bare minimum for five months.

We deserve a break.

We will get one, but there's still more to iron out before we get there.

On 4/2, Venus conjuncts the North Node at 26° Pisces - this is one of THE fated moments in this retrograde cycle. Watch what comes up during this time or what disappears. This is your cosmic reminder that if a partner says they want to leave you, believe them. Move on with your fucking life. You deserve someone who WANTS to be with you.

Venus is exalted in Pisces, but she still has a shadow side, and that is emotional manipulation. This is a significant stellium between retrograde Venus, the North Node, retrograde Mercury, and Saturn. If Venus conjunct the North Node speaks of fated relationships (I use that term loosely here - no two people are meant to be together) - when you add in Saturn, this is the hammer of fate. Retrogrades are more indicative of endings than beginnings.

This is definitely break-up weather. I know every time I say that, I freak some people out. I want to clarify that breakup weather won't even slow down a couple who's well suited for each other and committed to working through their differences. It does show irreconcilable differences and sometimes forces someone's hand.

Venus retrograde is a reminder that sometimes, love isn't enough.

This is further indicated because Venus is about to make double trines to Mars, our other relationship planet. First, retrograde Venus will trine Mars in Cancer on 4/6, and then she will do so again while she is in Aries and he is in Leo next month. We can see the first as a test and the second as a reward for those who passed if you wish. Trines are overall positive, but a trine between Venus in retrograde and Mars in his fall is so-so, at best.

Then, just to be a stick-in-the-mud, retrograde Venus conjuncts Saturn at 25° Cancer on 4/7. I suspect this will be a hard day, especially for Venusian types (artists/femmes/all Taurus and Libra types). We are being asked to be mature about how interactions with other people - this will piss some people off, for sure. It's worth remembering that Venus in Pisces is the universal lover, she believes ALL people deserve more love, not just who you deem worthy. This can be a hard sell in a divided world.

Things will get notably lighter as Venus stations direct on 4/12, but we still have a lot of ground to cover on our post-retrograde shadows (Mercury, Venus, AND Mars), so we aren't out of the proverbial woods yet.

Venus will do the same thing all over again; she first conjuncts the North Node at 25° Pisces on 4/20 and then Saturn at 26° Pisces on 4/24. It's worth keeping in mind that for this entire time (from 4/1 to 4/24), Venus has only moved 2 degrees, and she has kept this tight stellium to the North Node and Saturn through April. This is where the real meat is, to be a bit gross about it - this is where the sausage is made. This has the opportunity to be a real revolution of the Venusian spirit, and all Venus types (Taurus or Libra Sun/Moon/Ascendant/Venus or Venus conjunct to these points) will feel it hard.

And heavy. Saturn is always very heavy and is amplified by the amorphous depths of water Pisces and the 12th house of the unconscious. If you have hard Venus work to do (and you feel comfortable working with her in retrograde), April is the time to do it.

Finally, on 4/30, Venus enters Aries once more. Again, this is a big hit on that 00° point I mentioned in the Mercury section. But also, Venus is in exile in cardinal Aries, the opposite sign to her home, Libra. Having her further from Saturn and the North Node will feel better, but only just.

Mars

We're a month out from Mar's retrograde cycles, and it's starting to show. Life might, finally, feel like it's starting to pick up speed. We have to deal with half a month more of Mars in the sign of its fall in mutable Cancer, but by 4/18, we are in the clear as Mars enters Leo.

It is over. It is over. It is over.

Mars in Leo is the epitome of the brave lion: perhaps a bit recklessly fearless, even. Do what you need to do - this is good energy, and we could use a fiery Mars placement after that watery mess - but be careful where you roar, if you know what I mean. Mars in Leo tends to make people extra territorial, and some don't have any chill. Take that as you will.

Mars will square off with the Sun and oppose Pluto, but those feel like death rattles, nothing more.

It's smooth sailing ahead - the day Mars enters Leo is the perfect day to do some Mars magic if you've been holding off on working with him while he was retrograde and in his fall.

Jupiter and Saturn

Jupiter and Saturn are making moves to exit their current signs (Gemini and Pisces) and will continue to square off with one another as they do so. This is part of an ongoing cycle that will continue until Jupiter finally pulls ahead of its slower-moving rival.

The only major transit (other than Venus conjunct Saturn, covered above in the Venus section) is that Saturn will conjunct the North Node at 26° Pisces on 4/14. This aspect happens every 18-20 years, so it's a big deal. This is fate meets consequence, plain and simple. These two have similar impacts; combined, they pack a life-altering punch. This is more likely to be felt on a societal level - I would expect to see some significant upheaval occur on a global or at least regional level around the middle of the month.

If you have a personal planet at 26° of the mutable or water signs or mutable lunar nodes, you might want to stay aware through this transit. There is a chance this could hit a bit closer to home. This could, for some, feel a bit like an extra-special eclipse season made just for you. That could go really well or really badly.

Looking Ahead

May is going to be downright pedestrian after the last two months, but there is one big change on the horizon: mid-month, Saturn will enter Aries, completing our first hit on 00° Aries that I have been on about all year long. That will change everything. We'll talk about this more in the May update.

The Details

4/2 - Retrograde Venus conjunct the North Node 26° Pisces 4/4 - Mars in Cancer sextile Uranus in Taurus, Mars in Cancer trine Saturn in Pisces, Saturn in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus 4/6 - Sun in Aries sextile Jupiter in Gemini, Retrograde Venus in Pisces trine Mars in Cancer 4/7 - Mercury stations direct 26° Pisces, Retrograde Venus conjunct Saturn 25° Pisces 4/8 - Retrograde Venus in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus, Mars in Cancer trine North Node in Pisces 4/12 - Full moon 23° Libra, Sun conjunct Chiron 22° Aries, Venus stations direct 24° Pisces 4/14 - Saturn conjunct North Node 26° Pisces 4/16 - Mercury enters Aries 4/17 - Mercury conjunct Neptune 00° Aries 4/18 - Mars enters Leo 4/19 - Sun enters Taurus, Mars in Leo trine Neptune in Aries, Uranus in Taurus sextile North Node in Pisces 4/20 - Sun in Taurus square Mars in Leo, Mercury in Aries sextile Pluto in Aquarius, Venus in Pisces sextile Uranus in Taurus, Venus conjunct North Node 25° Pisces 4/23 - Sun in Taurus square Pluto in Aquarius 4/24 - Venus conjunct Saturn 26° Pisces 4/26 - Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow 09° Aries, Mars in Leo opposed Pluto in Aquarius 4/27 - New moon 07° Taurus 4/30 - Venus enters Aries

Do you like my work? You can tip me over on KoFi.

[asphodolls]

           Pomegranate  blossoms  will  conceive  of  me.

 PERSEPHONE  is  a  female  duo  under  HEART  ROT  MEDIA.  The  duo  consists  of  JUDY  and  MAIKA.  Originally  a  four-piece  ensemble,  SIAH  and  SACHIKO  departed  in  January  2018.  The  quartet  debuted  on  MAY  10,  2017,  with  “EDUTE.”  They  made  their  debut  as  a  duo  on  MARCH  17,  2018,  with  “PERSEPHONE’S  BOUQUET.”

PERSEPHONE's  formation  extends  back  to  2009,  with  seven  members.  At  that  time,  they  were  referred  to  as  SPRING  GIRLS.  The  group's  lineup  would  have  several  reworks,  the  most  notable  versions  being  the  ‘ot4’  and  ‘ot2’  versions.  They  are  the  first  girl  group  to  debut  under  HRM,  but  the  second  group  overall—METAL  WINGS  debuted  in  2009—and  was  the  first  group  to  have  pre-debut  releases.  “LUCKY  GIRLS”  was  released  in  April  2016,  one  month  before  their  debut,  under  the  pre-debut  name.

PERSEPHONE  is  known  for  their  spring  concept,  catchy  songs, their  successful  rise  within  K-pop industry,  and  their  participation  in  the  production  of  their  music.  Since  debut,  the  duo  has  released  thirteen  musical  projects—which  includes  two  full  albums.

hangul.  페르세포네

also  called.  the  flowers  of  spring,  the  keeper’s  of  spring 

spinoff of.  spring  girls

company.  heart  rot  media

debut  date.  may  10,  2017

debut  album.  edute

greeting.  “watch  us  bloom!  hello,  we  are  persephone!”

fandom  name.  narcissus 

fandom  colors.  spring’s  garden  &  spring’s  sky 

light  stick.  flowering  bong

                                                                                                                                                                MEMBERS   ─── 

current  members.  judy,  maika

past  members.  sachiko,  siah

                                                                                                                                                                                 RECORDS   ─── 

‘17   |   ETUDE     :     debut  extended  play

‘17   |   REBEL HEART     :     single 

‘18   |   PERSEPHONE’S  BOUQUET     :     single  album 

‘18   |   FLOWERING     :     special  single

‘18   |   CUPID’S  DELIVERY     :     second  extended  play

‘19   |   TIPI-TAP   :     pre-release  single

‘19   |   BANQUET     :     third  extended  play

‘19   |   IN  FULL  BLOOM     :     first  full  album 

‘20   |   LOVESICK GIRLS     :     japanese  single 

‘20   |   BUTTERFLY EFFECT     :     japanese  single 

‘21   |   SENSITIVE     :     single 

‘22   |   GALILEO     :     pre-release  single

‘22   |   APHRODITE’S  GIRL     :     fourth  extended  play

‘22   |   THE  POETS     :     fifth  extended  play

‘23   |   SWALLOW  ME     :     sixth  extended  play 

‘23   |   BECAUSE     :     single 

‘25   |   POMEGRANATE  SEEDS     :     second  full  album

                                                                                                                                                                                CINEMA   ───

‘19   |   THE  BLOOMING  CEREMONY   :     tgon  tour  documentary 

‘25   |   I  DESERVE  SPRING   :     documentary 

                                                                                                                                                                                NOTABLE  EVENTS   ───

‘17   |   THE  BIRTH  OF  KORE   :     debut  concert 

‘17   |   KEEPERS  OF  SPRING   :     fan  event 

‘18   |   SWAN  LAKE   :     anniversary  concert 

‘18   |   CUPID’S  WORKSHOP   :     comeback  exhibition

‘19   |   THE  GARDEN  OF  NARCISSUS   :     world  tour

‘23   |   MAIDENS  OF  SPRING   :     world  tour   :   cancelled  four  months  in 

[hanzajesthanza]

The Witcher in Concert – United States

If you haven't seen it yet, the Witcher concert is being expanded from the Boston performance to a whole league across the continental U.S., coming this September and October!

Tickets seem to range from $55–105, depending on where you sit (figures based on the Boston concert's tickets, that is for both matinee and evening). Tickets will go on sale on the official CDPR Witcher website, and there will apparently be a pre-sale if you sign up for the newsletter.

I created a map of these cities using Google Maps, if you want to quickly see if it's coming to you:

And below, I transcribed and alphabetized the list of cities by state, so you can more easily see if it's coming to your area :)

Arizona

OCT. 23, 2025 MESA, AZ

California

OCT. 21, 2025 RIVERSIDE, CA

OCT. 22, 2025 COSTA MESA, CA

OCT. 24, 2025 SAN DIEGO, CA

OCT. 25, 2025 SAN FRANCISCO, CA

OCT. 26, 2025 LOS ANGELES, CA

Colorado

OCT. 14, 2025 COLORADO SPRINGS, CO

OCT. 15, 2025 DENVER, CO

Connecticut

SEPT. 21, 2025 WALLINGFORD, CT

D.C.

SEPT. 25, 2025 WASHINGTON, DC

Florida

OCT. 9, 2025 JACKSONVILLE, FL

Georgia

OCT. 7, 2025 ATLANTA, GA

Illinois

OCT. 3, 2025 CHICAGO, IL

Indiana

SEPT. 12, 2025 INDIANAPOLIS, IN

Kansas

SEPT. II, 2025 OVERLAND PARK, KS

Kentucky

OCT. 11, 2025 LOUISVILLE, KY

Louisiana

SEPT. 4, 2025 NEW ORLEANS, LA

Maryland

SEPT. 28, 2025 BALTIMORE, MD

Massachusetts

MAY 31, 2025 BOSTON, MA

SEPT. 27, 2025 LOWELL, MA

Michigan

SEPT. 13, 2025 DETROIT, MI

Minnesota

SEPT. 9, 2025 MINNEAPOLIS, MN

Missouri

OCT. 4, 2025 ST. LOUIS, MO

Nebraska

SEPT. 10, 2025 OMAHA, NE

New Jersey

SEPT. 18, 2025 RED BANK, NJ

SEPT. 19, 2025 NEWARK, NJ

New York

SEPT. 14, 2025 SYRACUSE, NY

SEPT. 17, 2025 ROCHESTER, NY

SEPT. 20, 2025 BROOKLYN, NY

SEPT. 26, 2025 WHITE PLAINS, NY

North Carolina

OCT. 10, 2025 CHARLOTTE, NC

Ohio

SEPT. 29, 2025 CLEVELAND, OH

OCT. 2, 2025 COLUMBUS, OH

Pennsylvania

SEPT. 24, 2025 READING, PA

OCT. 1, 2025 PHILADELPHIA, PA

South Carolina

OCT. 8, 2025 GREENVILLE, SC

Texas

AUG. 30, 2025 MIDLAND, TX

SEPT. 2, 2025 AUSTIN, TX

SEPT. 3, 2025 DALLAS, TX

SEPT. 5, 2025 SAN ANTONIO, TX

SEPT. 6, 2025 SUGAR LAND, TX

SEPT. 7 2025 FORT WORTH, TX

Utah

OCT. 16, 2025 SALT LAKE CITY, UT

Virginia

SEPT. 23, 2025 RICHMOND, VA

Washington

OCT. 18, 2025 SPOKANE, WA

OCT. 19, 2025 SEATTLE, WA

Wisconsin

OCT. 5, 2025 MILWAUKEE, WI

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: March 17-23, 2025

Executive summary: we’re in the shadow of the eclipse until April Fool’s Day, and Mercury & Venus are retrograde; the Aries equinox is on Thursday the 20th!

Lunar Phases

Tuesday, March 18, 08:01 UTC - Disseminating Moon, 13°03’ Scorpio

The key phrases for the Disseminating lunar phase are “teach, share, communicate;” and “ease up on efforts with our intentions.” Confessional vibes. Pay attention not only to boundaries, but to what is going on which side of the boundaries.

Saturday, March 22, 11:29 UTC - Last Quarter Moon, 2°05’ Capricorn

The key phrases for the Last Quarter lunar phase are “turn away,” and “tear down old structures that no longer serve us well.” We may be in a bit of a ruthless mood, and sometimes that’s just what we need to clear out the junk. We don’t want old business messing up our new business.

Void of Course Moon

Sunday, March 16, 09:53 UTC (Libra) - Monday, March 17, 07:30 UTC (Scorpio)

Wednesday, March 19, 19:28 UTC (Scorpio) - 20:17 UTC (Sagittarius)

Saturday, March 22, 06:53 UTC (Sagittarius) - 07:29 UTC (Capricorn)

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Pallas/Aquarius, Juno/Sagittarius (until Wednesday the 19th), Vesta/Scorpio (until Friday the 21st)

Retrograde: Mercury/Aries, Venus/Aries, Juno/Sagittarius (starting Wednesday the 19th), Vesta/Scorpio (starting Friday the 21st)

Post-retrograde shadow: Mars/Cancer, Jupiter/Gemini

Transiting Juno stations retrograde on Wednesday, March 19, 18:00 UTC, at 1°57’ Sagittarius. Partnerships and social justice issues go more internal, as we sort them out.

Transiting Vesta stations retrograde on Friday, March 21, 08:14 UTC, at 18°28’ Scorpio. We’re obsessed with something. What could it represent?

Transiting Venus has its inferior conjunction with the Sun on Sunday, March 23, 01:07 UTC, at 2°39’ Aries. This is like a New Moon for Venus, the beginning of a new Venus-Sun cycle. Take a few moments to process your values - as expressed via the arts, beauty, love, and money. What are you standing for?

Ingress

Thursday, March 20, 09:01 UTC - transiting Sun enters Aries

Happy Aries season! And happy spring/autumn, depending on which side of the equator you’re on. The impression I’m starting to get, is that we think we’re all ready to fight the 2025 battles - but we’re using tactics from 1525 (ie that don’t work any more). And we can’t quite figure that out.

Et Cetera

There is one Opportunity Period this week: Wednesday, March 19, from 08:38 UTC to 19:28 UTC. “Good for deep experiences and creativity, but we’re between two eclipses and Mercury is retrograde, so be practical and keep working on projects you have already started.”

[fanauthorworkshop]

Introducing the FAW Summer Asynch Session!

Many people have mentioned that the times I lead the spring and fall workshops aren’t accessible for those with busy/unpredictable schedules, but they would still like to participate in the workshop and join the FAW community. To address that feedback, I’m running an asynchronous summer session. An asynch session doesn’t have a set meeting time. Instead, you’ll read up to 2 pieces presented each week by fellow participants, write them crit letters, and participate in discussion over Discord. 

The only required* meeting is an individual 30 minute Zoom call with me any time during the two weeks prior to the start of workshop. We'll use that time to go over the syllabus together and I can answer any questions you have. You'll book via Calendly once I send the welcome email.

*Optional for previous participants

Participants of the workshop receive:

Attendance in a 4-6 week asynchronous course during which you’ll provide feedback to your peers and workshop one piece of your own work, up to 6,000 words.

Access to the Fanauthor Workshop Discord server, an active community where we host weekly accountability meetings, writing sprints, a twice monthly short story club, and other events.

A 15-30 minute pre-workshop consultation with me to go over the syllabus and any questions you have.

A 30-45 minute post-workshop consultation with me to discuss the feedback you received, come up with a plan for revision and/or publication, or anything else you’d like to discuss regarding your writing.

Open enrollment option in future workshops.

Timeline

Applications close: June 14

Syllabus calls: July 1 - 12

Workshop begins: July 15

Workshop ends: Before August 23, depending on the number of participants

Cost

The recommended amount is $150. If you’re experiencing financial hardship and unable to pay, or can't pay the full amount, please let me know.

How to apply

Eligibility

Anyone over the age of 18 who considers themselves a participant of fandom and who is familiar with fanfiction may apply. A stable internet connection is also required. Submissions must be written in English.

Application requirements

To apply, you will need:

A brief cover letter discussing your fan history and goals as a (fan)writer (more specific instructions on submittable).

Maximum 1,000 words of your writing, either original work or fanfiction. This may be previously published/posted.

You can apply via submittable. Applications close June 14. There is no fee for applying.

FAQ and other info under the cut.

FAQ

Are there any content restrictions to what I can workshop?

The only restriction is word count (max 6k), with the following caveats:

If you workshop a piece in a form other than prose (for example, a script), your peers may not be able to offer constructive feedback on that aspect of the work. Participants are asked only to have a familiarity with prose.

Content warnings are required for each piece (if applicable), and participants who are uncomfortable reading certain subject matter may abstain from your workshop.

What is the time commitment of the workshop?

As a participant of the workshop, you'll be asked to:

Workshop any piece of your own prose up to 6k words, which will need to be uploaded no later than the Sunday prior to your workshop week. For example, if you sign up to workshop in week 2, your submission will be due July 14. Participants will have a week to read it and write their crit letter, and discussion will begin over Discord on July 22.

Read 2 pieces per week, write a 1-page crit letter for the author, and participate in the Discord discussion.

What are the benefits of being in the Fanauthor Workshop community?

We have an active Discord server open only to those who have participated in the workshop. Once you've completed the workshop, you'll have access to attend our weekly accountability meetings*, writing sprints, our twice monthly short story club, and other events we host.

*I'm working on figuring out an asynch accountability group.

You'll also have an open enrollment option in future workshops, where in lieu of applying again, you can pay a portion of what you intend to pay and secure your seat in the upcoming workshop.

I'll be working on rolling out additional events and benefits throughout the year.

Can workshop participants submit to OFIC Magazine?

Yes! Part of the reason I run the workshop is to inspire and promote the original work of fanwriters. You can follow us on tumblr @oficmag.

Who is running the workshop?

@bettsfic! In short, I lived a dreary cubicle life as a banker until I found fanfiction at 24. I loved it so much that I quit my job to get an MFA in creative writing. I loved the MFA so much that I became a writing teacher. I have some publications, awards, an agent, and 2 million words of fic on ao3. I don't have a book out yet but I'm getting there.

Currently I'm a writing coach and freelance editor. I also have a lowkey writing-related newsletter. And I've been answering writing advice asks on my blog for 10 years.

If you want an idea of the kind of writing activities I create, last summer I worked with @books on a workshop series which includes craft essays and some fun prompts.

If you're interested in my original work, my short story "Not If, When" is a good representation of my writing. For something darker, check out "Shut Up and Kill Me."

What is the workshop like?

Check out G's experience of attending the workshop. And here's some feedback from previous participants.

One final note: This is the first summer asynch session so there may be some hiccups. I've taught asynch classes before so it's not totally new to me, but there's still bound to be some pivoting when the workflow that makes sense in my head doesn't work super well in reality. It happens sometimes. I'm always taking feedback and trying to improve the workshop.

If you have questions about the workshop or application process, you can shoot me an ask, DM me, or add me on Discord (I'm bettsfic there too). Or you can email me at ekweeks@gmail.com.

[kirby-obscure-sexyperson-tourny]

Round 1 has come to a close! Here are the sexy contestants that have made it through to Round 2!

Matchup 1’s Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe(the entire game) and Another Dimension

Matchup 2’s meta knight's spare sword he uses when disarmed during his Colosseum battle with kirby (distinct from Master, as it is clearly a mundane ordinary sword and not a magic one like the one utilized from Kirby's Adventure to Kirby & The Amazing Mirror) and Dark Meta Knight’s Feet(various)

Matchup 3’s the audio of MK yelling “COME” from smash bros and The Kiwi Flavored Soda Elfilin Has In The Forgotten Land Credits Alivel Mall (Staff Side Image)

Matchup 4’s Those Things Sticking Out of the Ground in Dream Land and Mr. Dooter

Matchup 5’s Fecto Elfilis’ Spear Antares (submitter’s wife btw) and Milky Way Wishes map theme

Matchup 6’s Noddy and The Nut Tower (Nutty Noon)

Matchup 7’s Kirby Super Star OST: Run, Kirby, Run! and Metal General’s Missiles

Matchup 8’s kirby’s epic yarn wii disk and Taranza’s Dream Friend jingle

Matchup 9’s YOU (from Kirby Canvas Curse) and Kabula

Matchup 10’s Miracle Matter’s silly little overstimulation room and the fountain of dreams

Matchup 11’s the pre-Kirby Mouthful Mode car and Magolor’s Leitmotif

Matchup 12’s The Treasure Chest Dark Nebula Was Trapped in and the first heavy lobster that kirby "fights" at the beginning of revenge of meta knight that gets destroyed when the halberd takes off

Matchup 13’s the fish that kirby catches that gooey eats in the beginning of kirby's dream land 3 and the glitched version of the credits you can get in Kirby's Adventure

Matchup 14’s Joe and the big scifi pyramid from kirby’s Dream Land 3

Matchup 15’s Susie’s helicopter drone and Super Waddle Doo

Matchup 16’s the gamer keyboard on the lor starcutter and the censored thing adeleine draws in k64

Matchup 17’s the green greens leitmotif and The Poppy Bros. Jr. at the beginning of Spring Breeze that due to a placement error, almost always immediately kills itself with a bomb by throwing it at the wall right next to it as soon as it's scrolled onscreen

Matchup 18’s The Wheelies That Flee The Halberd When It Starts To Crash and one of the contestants from our first tie-breaker round, between blue-ray boxset of the kirby anime or The little web trap attack thing Taranza makes in the clash games I don't remember what it's called

Matchup 19’s the first ever waddle dee and Warp Star

Matchup 20’s The first Sir Kibble we see in the first level of Kirby Star Allies and pubic hair (kirby's dream land 2)

Matchup 21’s The doors in Epic Yarn that take you underneath the fabric and one of the contestants from our second tie-breaker round, between the color pink and The Lor sprite the poll runner redrew to have human teeth

Matchup 22’s Meta knight’s mask and Wiz

Matchup 23’s Galacta knight’s shield and The hidden room in Kirby Super Star Ultra that you access by going through the moon above the door to the Krako battle

Matchup 24’s The train you can get hit by in Kirby Fighters and The hand that tries to wake kirby up during a game over (several games)

Matchup 25’s the giant death crystals in Another Dimension and Nova's Globe (this is for you op)

Matchup 26’s That pocket watch with teeth in it from KPR (this is also for you op) and THE ROCKS THAT KILL PYRIBBIT

Matchup 27’s End of level doors and The eels in the halcandran water supply

Matchup 28’s Simirror and city on fire in the background of the fight with master crown

Matchup 29’s The puzzle that's in basically every game where you need to hit stumps to break blocks but you can only hit the first two stumps, and if you hit the third stump it CREATES blocks that stop you from getting the collectible (almost all games. One of these puzzles appears in level 5-2 of Return to Dreamland) and Burning Churning Power Plant

Matchup 30’s the reflective floor of the stage that you fight Void Termina on and Gem Apples

Matchup 31’s Mario and matthew.

Matchup 32’s Cutter puzzle where if you cut the rope while standing under the thing you die and the jambastion

Matchup 33’s Bottomless Pit and the robot that controls the entirety of the shiver star factory (this is not a submission for the factory as a whole)

Matchup 34’s Daroach’s Hat and Mr. Sandbag

Additionally, here are a few fun little statistics!

MOST PROPAGANDA: Elfilis’ Spear, Antares!

LARGEST PERCENTAGE OF VOTES: 43.6%, recieved by That pocket watch with teeth in it from KPR (this is also for you op)

LEAST SEXY: Moto Shotzo, Shockcreepa, Dacooga, Punc, Tookey, Flotzo Borg, Triple Star, Air Curtain, Freezing Temple, Hack, Cloudy, and Octopeas all received 0 votes!

UNSEXIEST MATCHUP: Matchup 12 and Matchup 25 both had two options that received 0 votes!

POLL RUNNER’S TASTE: Of the 34 matchups, I voted for one of the winners in 16 of them! In the court of public opinion, my taste is JUST BELOW AVERAGE!

Announcements

Tomorrow at 2PM I will start the two 24 hour tiebreaker polls. They will be scheduled to be reblogged once after 10 hours.

At 3PM on Friday there will be also a bonus Sexiest Unsexy Competition poll that will last a week— as there were exactly 12 options that received 0 votes, they will be getting a bonus round to see who the sexiest unsexy submission from Round 1 is because I think it would be funny! Feel free to start sending in propaganda for the sexiest unsexy submissions now.

Round 2 will begin at 4PM after the tiebreaker polls end, though the exact day is TBD as it depends on my irl availability. Round 2 matchups will have 4 options each, and this time only one winner will progress from each! There will be 17 polls total, each lasting a week. Since that’s a weird number, there will also be a guaranteed bonus poll to choose one additional winner to progress from the top 4(may be more if there are ties) second places in Round 2.

I have decided not to start using images until Round 3, but hey, that means propaganda can be as simple as submitting a picture!

[ileftmysoulinnorway]

IWTV S3 production length and premiere date

I can't stress enough that this is just my speculation based on a few dates that may or may not turn out to be accurate. But I've been puzzling over this for a while, so...

What is more or less certain: pre-production started: April 2025. Production will start: June 16. Production will end (in Canada): in October (either October 1, 10, 12 or 17, sources vary). Premiere will be: 2026.

The conflicting end dates might indicate that October 1 is the end of production in Canada, while October 10 or 17 could be them finishing work elsewhere. There are several strong hints that they will film in NOLA again, that final week or two could be reserved for it. Or not. Frankly, only a week or two in New Orleans would mean a very brief flashbacks, even if most of the NOLA scenes could be filmed in a studio in Canada.

Can a comparison with S2 tell us anything? Season 2 was originally scheduled to film from April 3 to August 31 (22 weeks for 8 episodes). The strikes disrupted the schedule, and filming actually ended up lasting longer than expected.

If S3 production runs from June 16 to October 10, that's only 17 weeks. This could suggest fewer episodes than S2, which is unlikely (there are indications that S3 will have 8 episodes). It most likely means that they plan to shoot more quickly than they did for S2. Managing to film that many episodes in that timeframe is not unheard of.

Or the October end dates are not accurate. One of the crew members is supposed to work on S3 until November 25, 2025. This person might be continuing with post-production, but it could also mean that filming will last beyond October to include places outside Canada (New Orleans, maybe even Europe). This would result in about 23 weeks of filming, more consistent with S2. But I'm more and more convinced that it's unlikely.

There's more. It looks like the projected end of post-production is March 6, 2026. If production ends in late November, the post-production window would be extremely tight. If production wraps in mid-October, the post-production length would be roughly what's expected.

The good news is, if the March 6, 2026 post-production ending date is accurate, S3 could potentially premiere as early as April 2026. But the actual premiere will likely depend on AMC's programming schedule and could be pushed back weeks or months.

What to take from this?

My best guess for now is 8 episodes, production from June 16 to October 10. Most filming in Ontario, some in New Orleans (they could obviously stay in NOLA for more than one week in October). Post-production should be completed by early March, with a premiere in spring 2026. April, if they want to have a shot at the Emmys, or May again. Alternatively, they could wait until October to make the most of the spooky season and really lean into the promotion (SDCC 2026, music videos, etc.).

[911coded]

Tidbit Thursday: Buck and Tommy Fic Notes

tagged by: @chococara25

I was having trouble keeping track of who knows what so I took notes on my own fic and I’m sharing in case anyone is confused. (If anyone has questions, or DID have questions, please let me know, it will help with writing and I can make some changes before I post to AO3!!!)

What Tommy knows by Chapter 7:

He has a neurological link to certain technology (chapter 2)

2. It’s a genetic anomaly (chapter 2)

3.It runs in family lines (chapter 2)

4. Buck met people w/ the gene in Peru (chapter 2)

5. Buck has a strong version of the gene (chapter 2)

6. Gene carriers tend to find each other, are drawn together and have strong emotional connections (ie. platonic, romantic, hatred, though rare) (chapter 2)

7. John “visits” earth (chapter 5)

8. The hum of the tech can be comforting (chapter 5)

9. John carries a piece everywhere he goes (chapter 5)

10. John lives/is based somewhere surrounded by the tech (chapter 5)

11. Tommy Identifies tech from chapter 2 as being for children’s therapy (chapter 5)

12. Everyone with gene is at least bisexual (chapter 5)(NOT meant to imply that gene makes you gay or that anyone gay would have the gene, just that people with the gene tend to be more flexible in who or what they find attractive)(coincidence or not? Not enough known gene carriers for scientific study)

13. Tommy thinks that Buck knew about the tech that he was activating w/o touching and kept it to himself (he’s right) (chapter 5)

14. The gene is alien DNA that was either an experiment on humans or passed on the old fashioned way (chapter 5)

15. There are only 2 city ships left, one on earth (in my head named Terra) and Atlantis (chapter 6)

16. Only Atlantis still has the ability to fly (chapter 6)

17. There were many more, but lost to “great war”, along with Altantis’ fighters (chapter 6)

18. Gene carriers can fly “first ones” ships with their minds (chapter 6)

19. The antarctic base has a voice (chapter 6)

20. The ships consider themselves sisters (chapter 6)

21. The ships want/need more gene carriers (chapter 6)

22. The original expedition is not making them any babies with the gene, or not enough (chapter 6)

23. The city ships know of Buck and want the 2 of them to “come home” (chapter 6)

24. John is considered to be the “first son”, the city-ships credit him with waking them

What Buck knows by Chapter 7:

Something in his new friend’s pocket is talking at him (Peru, pre 911)

2. Now it is trying to instruct him on pickpocketing (Peru, pre 911)

3. Sentient rock? Alien tech? Something really classified? Undetermined. (Peru, pre 911)

4. He should keep in touch with these people, just in case, don’t want to be disappeared by the government, here’s my email 🙂(Peru, pre 911)

5. Buck’s new friends are based at McMurdo? In Antarctica? Ok, sure. (Peru, pre 911)

6. This is all way more important than I thought, there are Generals involved and now they want to talk to Tommy too (chapter 1)

7. Emails sometimes mention “the mountain” (Chapter 3)

8. Colorado Springs + “the mountain” = Cheyenne Mountain, which has the worst cover story ever (Chapter 3)

9. Definitely has something to do with space since Karen the rocket scientist is somewhat aware of it (Chapter 3)

10. (drunk, watching Wormhole X-Treme!) It’s aliens, I’m sure now, still says nothing (Chapter 3)

11. Jack spilled the beans about something classified to Tommy (chapter 4)

12. The base is somewhere on the ocean (chapter 4)

13. Lorne is Air Force and was escorted to the airport and back by a Marine (chapter 5)

14. The base where Parrish and Lorne live is not Cheyenne Mountain (chapter 6)

15. Lorne never did tell him if the broom closet labeled StarPortal Command exists (chapter 6)

16. General Sam Carter is head of HomeWorld Command (chapter 6)

17. Cheyenne Mountain is massive, goes down at least 27 levels, and has identical hallways that are confusing (chapter 6)

18. The thing from Lorne’s pocket was a LSD (Life Signs Detector), he still carries the same one (chapter 6)

19. Not everyone can “hear” the tech the same way (chapter 6)

20. An LSD looks sort of like a game boy color (chapter 6)

21. He has a gene that acts as a key for technology made by an alien race called Alteran, it was passed down to him by one of his ancestors (chapter 6)

22. There is a blood test to determine if you have the gene, though it’s easier to give them a piece of tech and see what happens (chapter 6)

23. Buck finds out the same thing happened to Tommy (chapter 6)

24. The program that they want him to join/work for is called the Stargate Program (chapter 6)

No tags, other than those who want fic updates, it’s been a long week 😟😴

@anangrylittlehobbit @grimmsdead @eliotwaughdeservesbetter

[mittensit]

As a fellow sufferer of "Please ask me questions oh god", I have come to ease your woes.

Questions 1, 4, 8, 18, 23, 24, 38, 40, 46, 50

so many questions yippee!)

1: "Does your lamb go by any name other than The Lamb? If so, what?" Their name was long since forgotten due to being the last Lamb and the Old Faith not bothering to ask who they are. But if they did remember their name, it'd be something masculine.

4: "Did your lamb kill anyone prior to their first death? If so, who?" if they did, they don't remember. They've killed so many in their long life as a vessel and God, that those they killed blend together into one. A nameless, faceless form.

8: "Did your lamb have any specific skills pre-sacrifice?" yes. they were skilled in flirting and getting bitches. (I am NOT joking. They're very experienced in bed.) Had sheepkind lived, I'm pretty sure they would've had several bastard children, the little scamp. Also they were pretty skilled with hunting for the livestock guardian dogs that lived in their village.

18: "On a scale of one to ten how floppy are their ears?" 8! Their future kiddos love batting at them. (A bit difficult to do since their ram horns get in the way but they do try!)

23: "Are they capable of having children and would they want to have children?" Yes! But I'm not saying who carries them :))))))) because if I ever do write the shitten fics I want it to be a surprise. And they do love children, and after two years of living with their adopted daughter, they get the baby fever.

24: "If they were to be a parent or are, what epithet would they have their child use? Mom? Mama? Dad? Baba? Nony? Abba?" Their adopted daughter one day started calling them Mama ("because you're pretty and sweet like Ma"), so Lamb, despite their masculine appearance, shrugged and said 'Sure, I'm Mama.' Which was then picked up by their children, though the future lamb shitten naturally started calling them Baba (since sheep gotta baaaa.)

38: "What is your lamb’s favorite food or dish?" before Vesselhood their favorite food used to be apples. But now it's usually savory/meaty dishes, such as stew that has meat in it. (from their farms that has domesticated enemies, such as the worms or bats you battle.)

40: "What is your lamb’s stance on cannibalism?" they hate it. It's disrespectful to the dead.

46: "What is your lamb’s favorite season?" Spring!

50: "Freebie! Tell us any headcanon you want!" like of my Lamb? or game Lamb? uh uh they actually had an accent when they were mortal (think West Country [British] accents) but because they're the only sheep left they slowly lost the accent.

[velteris]

Frieren timeline

The only timeline available on the wiki isn’t super fleshed out with exact dates and counting backwards etc. So I decided to make my own.

Notes:

1. Spoilers for up to manga ch119 (the most recent at this time)

2. Even if it’s likely just a rough measure (“three hundred years ago”), I’m gonna assume when doing my math that it was exactly 300 years, because otherwise I can’t do most of the math

3. I skip most events that don’t have an exact year, eg Fern and Stark respective being taken in by Heiter and Eisen. I do make some estimates (eg Sein’s birthday, we only know he’s in mid-30s so he can’t have been born any further back than year xx).

4. Standardised year 0 as the year the demon king was defeated

5. Realised about 2/3rds through that I could be writing down chapter citations but at that point it was too late lol sorry

behold!

-3,000: Earliest mentioned date, by Frieren re: dwarf beliefs; most people believed the dead turn to dust, so pre-Goddess. Unclear when Goddess actually starts appearing.

[Emperor Boshaft alive, so is Milliarde, Frieren in village]

-1,000: Frieren becomes Flamme’s apprentice

-950: Flamme passes away*

-510: the last time Frieren fought a demon (quite likely Macht, as in year 80 she says 600 years ago, which would be -520. What’s a decade here and there?)

-420: Frieren restores her golden arm

-422: Aura became one of the seven sages of destruction

-322: the last time Frieren saw another elf, Grandfather Voll starts to protect village

-222: the last time Kraft saw another elf

-120: Fass finds Emperor Boshaft’s alcohol, Gehn starts working on his village’s bridge

-26: Himmel is born

-11?: Hero of the South visits Frieren and dies a year later; tells her she’ll meet Himmel soon**

-10: Hero Party sets out from capital

[Hero Party kills Immortal Bose and pushes back Aura sometime during this period]

-3: Goddess arc (Himmel is 23), Hero Party seals Qual***

0: Demon King defeated, Era Meteors, Macht starts to serve^

2: Denken born

20: Macht is braceleted

28: Continental Magic Association started (at latest), Lernen was first first-class mage

29: Denken came to Auberst with his wife (who died when he was in his twenties); Denken’s wife presumably passed away very soon after

30: last sighting of a Darkness Dragon (per random apothecary); Weis turned to gold and sealed

39: Earliest possible Sein birthday (he would be 40); humanity learns to fly

45: Wirbel born

50: 2nd Era Meteors; Himmel passes away; Aura reappears, demon activity increases in north and baby Wirbel makes promise

61: Stark is born earlier in the year after winter; Fern is born some time after harvest festival but before the last three months of the year

68: Graf Granat’s son dies in war against Aura

69: Sein’s friend Gorilla left

70: Frieren and Fern meet

74: Heiter collapses

75: Stark runs away from Eisen

76: Heiter passes away; Frieren and Fern set out on their journey

76.5: half a year spent looking for blue moonweed

77: Fern turns 16 (after spring, latest autumn)

78: 3+ Months spent at seaside town cleaning beach

79: wintered with Kraft, Stark’s 18th bday (after spring), meet Sein around harvest festival (time is a bit funky since it gets cold and then warm after this?)^^

80: El Dorado arc

81: first chapter after El Dorado. As of ch119, we are here, 31 years after Hero Himmel’s death!

and in the future…

97: Tod’s “curse” will engulf the star?

100: Next meteor shower. Fern and Stark would be 39.

149: Frieren promised to be back at hero’s sword village by this time

1079: Frieren may return to the Continental Mage Association :)

*Assuming she died soon after Frieren’s last shown convo with her where she said “it’s only been 50 years”

**Unclear just when was the Frieren/Hero of the South meeting, so it could technically be anywhere before, but -11 is the most recent it could be

***Frieren says it’s been 80 years in year 77. If she’s being precise then this is the date—but I have doubts as Qual was sealed in the Central Lands, and Hero Party should be well into the Northern Plateau near the goddess monument by this point.

^Technically I think Macht starts to serve a leetle bit before the demon king is defeated, but no time frame given for how long it took Macht and Glück to have those convos

^^To be more precise: they start the year’s winter with Kraft. Then it gets warm, and Stark’s birthday happens. Harvest festivals are usually in autumn, which is when they meet Sein, and then it gets cold enough for the gang to wear their winter gear again, and they spend a winter (or a cold snap?) with Sein. When they get to Auberst they spend an additional two months training with Fern while waiting for the exam to start. But when they finally leave Auberst in ch61, and aren’t wearing their winter clothes anymore, it’s still listed as 29 years post-Himmel death??? There’s a mention of it being because they’re in the volcanic belt… But seriously, year 79 goes on and on. I honestly think the authors just forgot to find a good spot to switch that over lol