#Posts like these are just me organizing my thoughts on my life btw I'm not at all educated in child development or anything lmao

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Got any trans HCs for the amphibia trio? I love the many different interpretations I've seen from this fandom

I don't know about specific headcanons, I know I'm considering making Anne trans in RiAAU but I haven't decided yet.

In one hand: it would be interesting to think how she deals with her first periods because, well, amphibians don't have those, and Hop Pop assumes she's dying (she doesn't tell anyone else because she's so embarrassed). Not that he tells her that, but it really freaks him out. He thinks she has some sort of internal damage, and it's only after months of research that he finds out about some rare mammalian species, such as a few monkeys and rodents, that experience the same cycle Anne goes through. The whole point of this is that it makes Anne feel even more out-of-place. She doesn't remember her world or her parents, only that she came from "somewhere" (possibly another continent) full of people of her species, and she wonders if things would have been easier if she grew up with her biological family. I mean, surely this would be easier. It just serves as a reminder that she knows nothing about her species, not even its name, and she has no idea of how her biology works or what is good and bad for her or how long she'll live or what changes she'll go through.

.

BUT, on the other hand: Trans Anne. Let's start with the obvious: amphibians don't have penises or vaginas and they reproduce externally, meaning they like... release eggs and sperm in the water and they mix without the involvement of either parent, meaning no one knows what the cultural significance of a "penis" or a "vagina" tends to be in most human cultures. As a literaly 3yo, Anne probably didn't have an extensive understanding of s.ex and gender, and it wasn't like the clothes she showed up with told Hop Pop much. She just knew that, as time went on, she found herself relating more and more to the female frogs of Wartwood, and she almost subconsciously began to refer to herself as a girl. There wasn't any big coming out moment, more like a point in which, after months of ambiguity (this kid kept using different pronouns for herself) she just settled on some good ol' she/her and began picking somewhat girly clothes when Hop Pop took her to the market.

It's not like the concept of trans people doesn't exist in Amphibia, it's just that Anne didn't realize that was her situation until, at least, meeting Marcy, and noticing the differences between them. It's not like either of them had ever seen another human from up close, so they didn't know what to expect anyway. Anne's only encounters with Sasha beforehand had consisted on magical girl swordfighting in the sky and whatnot. Certainly not enough to discuss their unique biology, which is something Marcy is very excited to discuss, since she's never met anyone with her same "condition" before, and she wants to know everything, so she uses her as her little rat lab whenever she has the chance. Even then, since she also lacks all knowledge of human s.exual dimorphism and its cultural implications, she doesn't associate anything about either of their bodies to any specific gender that could possibly be asigned to anyone based on biological feautures. Since Sasha remembers the most from Earth, she's probably the only one who could maybe possibly remeber her mom or the kindergarden teacher saying something about "the difference between boys and girls", but by the point she's in speaking terms with Anne, and by the time she realizes their bodies are different, she doesn't really care.

That's not to say Anne doesn't experience dysphoria or that she never undergoes any kind of physical transition. It was probably around the time her voice started to change during puberty that she realized her case may be kinda unique: neither Marcy nor Sasha's voices have changed that much, she can tell even though she only sees Marcy in person like once every 3 years and all the words she exchanges with Sasha consist of death threats and insults. Plus, there's a clear difference between """male""" and """female""" voiced in frogs too. She doesn't want to sound like a man! She doesn't want to be anything like a man! Men are gross! Sorry Sprig, Hop Pop, but it's true. Men are icky icky yuck yuck and Anne is a girly girl. She doesn't want to turn into Stumpy! Or Buff Loggle! Oh, no, is that her future? She commits the triple mistake of 1) sending a letter to Marcy that same day, 2) knocking on Maddies' door promising her firstborn if she can save her from turning into Stumpy, and 3) she becomes obsessed researching mammalian biology in the archives. Bad decision. Bad bad. She's discovering things to feel dysphoric about she never even knew existed! Did you know mammalian mothers feed their offsprings with "milk" that comes from their "mammary glands"? Did Sasha and Marcy have those? She hates herself a little for checking out Marcy next time she sees her and she realizes that, indeed, in the past years she's grown a pair of those that Anne does NOT have. She notes that both she and Sasha are pretty much hairless. She used to think hair was a normal mammalian trait! That weasel that tries to eat the frogs every winter sure is covered in it!

Maddie shows up to her door with a bunch of new spells to try out, happy to have a willing subject. Most embarrassingly, Marcy starts doing her own research as soon as she gets Anne's letter and sends her all her discoveries, and now Anne feels mortified because Marcy knows about all the bad bad very bad changes she's going through (Marcy, for her part, is just fascinated by the nature of their "condition").

It takes a bit, but after a few very frenzied weeks, Anne comes to understad what's going on: her species had certain level of sexual dimorphism and she just happened to have been born with the supposed "sex" usually associated with "men" as a social category. When Hop Pop finds out, he burst into laughter. Oh, it was THAT all along! Anne made it sound so complicated, but it was just the same things he went through when he was younger, just the other way around ("Say what now Hop Pop?")! A few curses here and there and she won't have to worry about these so called "mammary glands" and "hair" anymore, though in the meantime, as Maddie perfects a human-friendly curse, she gets turned into all sort of different creatures. By the time it's done, she just wants to feel like... herself.

It's true that there are some things about her body that make her feel weird, like they don't quite fit in, but there are others she only worries about because she compared herself to Sasha and Marcy, which wasn't fair to anyone involved. Did she really want to fundamentally change parts of her body because of insecurities she developed last week over a book about lemurs? Then, a second set of fears come in: what will happen when she goes back to her place of origin? Because she does want to find her birth family. Will they recognize her, if they're looking for a boy? Will they think she's lying if she claims to be their daughter? If she changes only a few things but doesn't "go all the way", will people there think she's a freak? Will she ever be able to fit in with those of her species?

Does she really care so much about what other people think? She just wants to be herself. Some of the changes she's been going through are making her feel less like herself and more like she's being turned into a tax collector from Toad Tower. Those things have to go - her voice, for example. And she wants a more femenine silhouette (she may or may not show Maddie photos of young Mrs. Croaker as a reference). She wants a softer face. She's seeing her face changing in the mirror and she doesn't like it. She wants it to stay round and soft, not to grow hard and sharp or big and rough. She's not so sure she wants those "mammary glands". It's not like she ever thought about having kids, and the whole "breastfeeding" thing just seems gross, but after her research, and finding out she could have kids with, I don't know, maybe Marcy one day (a thought that makes her blush), she thinks it may be a good idea. She'll consider it. Maybe later. Her genitalia... well, she's used to what she has now. It already took her like 10 years to fully figure out what it was and how it worked and starting over with a whole new set just feels like too much work (also, the babies, the potential babies with Marcy). Frogs and toads have neither "penises" or "vaginas" so there's not a lot of information, and based on books about lemurs and her own empirical experience, comparing herself to other mammalian species isn't too useful. She'll leave it the way it is. She'll see if there's anything else she wants to change later, or if she wants to go back on something.

Marcy is surprised next time Anne visits Newtopia. In her letters, she described this strange transformation in excruciating detail, but seeing her in person now, holding her face in her hands, all she sees is the same Anne she's always loved.

A few more ideas:

HEADCANON: in Amphibia, two people of the same "s.ex" can reproduce through magic, which means there has to be a concious effort and intent. The external fertilization process there's no such thing as a pregnancy, and there's no such thing as s.ex. All reproduction is intentional, which means there's no need for abortion either. There are processes to destroy fertilized eggs and embryos, but they look completely different from human abortions.

Amphibians may perform acts resembling s.ex for pleasure or fun but they look different from human s.ex and have no relation to reproduction.

Andrias is the only person in Amphibia who knows enough about humans to know how they reproduce (a process he finds repulsive). He never tells Marcy, of course, though once she becomes queen, she finds his secret library and his hidden tomes on "alien biology", some of which talk about humans. He's also the only one who knows humans can have children on accident, and that Anne is the only human in Amphibia who could cause something like that to happen (he reads all of Marcy's correspondence). He knows his daughter is very close to this weird farm girl penpal of hers, and even though she's still a child, he worries for her future and the future of the crown. This new discovery could land the crown in the hands of a dynasty of aliens if he's not careful. Is it weird that he spends so much time worrying about his 12yo daughter getting pregnant from another 12yo? Yes, yes it is, but he already controls every aspect of her life, it's not like he's going to stop at her sexuality, future, real, or imaginary.

Man now that I wrote it all down, I think this option is more compelling than the first. Maybe I WILL go with this one.

[hevendor]

I think adults often ruin kids' creativity because their enforce their own boring adult priorities on kids who really don't need them.

I can think of many instances when I was a kid where I felt I was on a roll with something whether it be a drawing or an essay and a teacher came up to me and said something along the lines of "you should relax. You really don't need to put 100% of your energy in this when it isn't that big of a deal. Just focus on finishing it."

But they didn't understand that it is far more fun to think things through and make something the way I wanted to make it rather than phone it in just so it's done quickly... Every time a teacher or any adult said this to me I could feel the wind being taken out of my sales and suddenly the activity went from fun to I straight up didn't wanna do it anymore.

And it wasn't often the case that I was on some sort of time crunch either but more that adults seemed to perceive my effort as me needlessly straining myself rather than what was actually happening which was me having fun.

[buboplague]

hello. i'm an art nerd and as such do art nerd things like study art. you are one of my favorite artists for your smooth and organic lines. is your style of line work something you've developed unintentionally over time or is it a matter of intention and technique? ive noticed you're able to do a lot with very little, which is something i strive for in my own art. happy late easter if you celebrated btw

oh this is an interesting question! I've never really stopped to think about this before.

I think it's a bit of both, but mostly unintentional and developed over time as a characteristic of the way I prefer to draw.

I draw quickly, erase minimally, like continuous lines, and enjoy the actual physical feeling of drawing messy, and I think that's helped me be more confident in my lines in general and contributes to how it looks. Being precise and accurate is usually not my goal, so it's ok if something is off (please never flip my sketches haha). I like the way drawing like this feels.

But there are also a lot of styles I love that use fluid lines, like ukiyoe art and artists inspired by those same styles, or others' quick gestural drawings. Seeing those inspire me to stay loose, or not care about accuracy, simplify things, etc, and folding these concepts it into my work is intentional, because it loops back into enjoying the way it's done. I don't really have much advice or technique for how to achieve this deliberately because I guess I'm not really sure myself LOL but based on how I approach things myself, these are tips to try (which it looks like you're doing some already!):

draw with pen on paper. If you mess up just go with it, or try again from the beginning. Don't get hung up on erasing and fixing things, just keep drawing

practice speed, with timed gesture drawing or other methods of practice you're comfortable with; try it without picking up the pen

turning stabilization off while drawing digitally for a more natural line (entirely subjective, but stabilization trips me up so bad and feels weird)

draw from life. It can be random objects around the house, or random photos, but draw things you normally wouldn't - train your hand to follow your eye, as this will help you see the way you use line, and is an easy way to practice what kinds of lines you want without getting hung up on idea generation, or if the character looks right, expectations, etc.

It's okay to be impatient and lazy sometimes LOL. Sometimes doing the bare minimum helps you to learn where you want to simplify or stylize things. "Good enough" is also a pretty useful catchphrase sometimes

I hope something in this post helps! And sorry if it doesn't, I'm not very good at articulating my own art or thought processes.

Thank you for your kind words and for enjoying my work. happy late easter!

[bomberqueen17]

ow

lol so. i'm at home after the farm season right. i have so much writing i have been wanting to do, and i have succeeded at doing some of it! i had a brief "ah chicken season is over" hiatus before The Dread Deturkening, and spent that whole thing writing frantically, hence the solarpunk tall ships idea which is still in progress btw-- I did finally start a for real draft version to solicit feedback and now I realize a bunch of people's tumblr handles is not a great way to actually connect so i need to figure out how to do that-- which is beside the point of this post--

anyway. now that it's For Real Hiatus From Farm Season I'm trying to actually get my life in order and not succeeding very well.

Dude's company laid off a bunch of his team and therefore shut down the local office, so he, being the last man standing, had to go in and clear the space out. As part of that, his former desk is sitting in our garage, and I'm trying to clear out space for it in the basement. The basement is a black hole of fuckery because one year ago, some of you may remember, we had our kitchen remodeled, and we had contracted to do it in February but they called us the last week of November and said can we do it now instead, which sure but it meant I had to haul seventeen years' worth of stuff out of the kitchen into Literally Anywhere Else and then they needed me to clear out part of the basement erroneously believing they were putting in a new support pillar, which they weren't, but then they needed me to clear out a path to the back wall of the basement because the electricians needed to install a whole new panel there, so like, ok cool but it just meant a lot of things got haphazardly hauled from one corner of the basement to another in tremendous hurry with no time for keeping track of what's what. So that's a disaster and now's the time to fix it.

I have also been hauling some of it to the attic. I had been using the desk in the spare room for sewing on the days when Dude was working from his office. Since those days no longer happen, I have no access to those machines now, which are stacked in a corner. The basement is now too crowded for me to resume using the little space I'd carved out down there, so I have put some sewing stuff into the attic, which isn't insulated and is rather drafty now. But anyway. I'm rearranging a lot of things and can't make progress on any projects while that's happening.

I got a ton of reorganizing done on Monday evening in the basement (having spent the whole morning hauling shit out of dude's former office, which is now surrendered and locked and all set), and yet more Tuesday, and was hoping to finish it yesterday but Tuesday evening I fucked up my back, it felt all crunchy, and I was really worried until I woke up Wednesday in just torrents of gore, which I realized is my new perimenopausal normal-- I've started to realize that menstruation does fucky shit to all my connective tissues, so I shouldn't actually worry about my lower back destroying itself if it's also Cramp Time. So I spent yesterday absolutely immobile, dosed up on ibuprofen and just like that scene out of the Shining except wrapped in blankets and drinking herbal tea.

I also spent much of yesterday just. Unconscious? Which was weird. I don't know why I'm so fatigued but at least I'm sleeping.

(I also cleaned the oven. Do not recommend, especially not when one's lower back is doing mysterious rice krispie impressions.)

So today I was hoping to get back to work but I do feel like I've been beaten with sticks. Maybe instead I will finish working out how to get people who've expressed interest in beta-reading into a google doc.

A not so hilarious side note is that if I do not have a desk to sit at I have trouble organizing my thoughts?? IDK it's very weird but there are several tasks I need to do where I'll need to have my laptop and a sheet of paper in front of me I think, and my brain is like "illegal unless At Desk" and that's tough shit since I don't have a desk. I had started noticing it over the summer in the cabin where I also don't have a desk. How do I organize my thoughts if I can't Sit At A Desk to do it????? One would think I'd figure it out since i've spent most of my life without a desk of my very own, but. Not so far!!! Not currently.

Also a major thing my brain is Not Allowing me to do is finish preparing for Christmas. I'm not seeing family for Christmas, for the like tenth year in a row because every year we arrange to do it together my older sister fucking flakes out, and this year it was the off year but she flaked out of thanksgiving instead-- i'm not saying she doesn't flake out for good reasons, one of her kids was real sick and i'm not mad, but the fact remains, we're not seeing that bit of the family and she's not letting us make any contingency plans, so my brain is like Fine No Christmas Then and won't let me figure out what to get people for gifts and it is actually a problem because some of those people are kids and are expecting me to figure it out anyway.

argh.

my beloved godfather, my Type A mom's little underachieving alcoholic gay probably ADHD depressed college dropout brother, never was good at christmas presents for us kids either, and still managed to hold it together better than I am despite being in a relationship with a man who wouldn't allow him to tell us nieces about him and so he just showed up to all our family events and was my uncle's "friend" and we all figured it out anyway so there was no point hiding it from us but ugh they still did and i remember us at some point in the 90s, all us sisters sitting together ranging in age from high school down to elementary school and my older sister being like "we all know they're gay right" and us all being like "yeah why can't we just say it" and the oldest sister looking at me, who even then everybody knew was the gay one, and i was like "man i don't know" and we all just solemnly agreed to not mention it...

anyway

he did better than this but he died of lung cancer in '08 so I can't ask him how he managed it. (what i have in my favor is that my dad's side of the family gave me asthma so i never could have taken up smoking, so at least that won't kill me.)

He never got an ADHD diagnosis tho so I can't find out what meds he took. Well, he took whiskey, we know that. It didn't work though. and he wasn't really a loser, i've met so many people who knew and loved him now that i'm an adult and sometimes go around in the city where he lived. even now so many people remember him so fondly. and he bragged about us, his nieces, all the time, all these people know who i am as soon as i mention him. boy i miss him!!!

this is the miracle of the ADHD brain I was fretting about house cleaning and now i'm grieving my long-dead uncle, who of course I knew mostly through the lens of my mother who literally never understood him in the slightest.

[obislittleone]

Tw: suicidal thoughts (don't be alarmed I'm just venting)

I am so tired. I am so worn out. It doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter what I do. I have been financially and physically giving to Palestinians and Israelis who have been injured and were innocent victims through this war. The organization my family and I are working with has done so much to try and save lives. I have done all I can possibly do, but it's not enough. Those of you who drop in my dms or my asks to call me a 'genocidal colonizer' are so truly lost. I hope you all get help, because the amount of hate I've seen against not only myself but against literally every Jew I know is absolutely abominable. Don't say 'from the river from the sea' unless you know what it means, and if you say it, don't say it to a jew. You may hate Israel, and you may even think that all the people there deserve to die, but have you ever taken into consideration that the innocent Jews of either Israel or the rest of the world have nothing to do with their government or the mistreatment of Palestinians? Did you ever once think before you commented on a Jews post to 'wipe Israel off the face of the earth'? Chances are you did not. Chances are also that if you did, you probably just hate jews. Don't comment any bullshit on this post, I'll just remove it. I'm not here to fight anymore, I'm just here to say a few words, and give a perspective to those who think I'm some devil worshipping satanist just because I'm jewish.

These are the asks in my inbox on the daily:

Do you have any idea how this mentally affects a person? Do you even know how horrifying it is to know that so many people want you dead? I've had run ins with depression and suicidal attempts and thoughts my entire life, but never have I been this influenced by outer forces into thinking that I should be dead. Never once has anyone encouraged me to pull a trigger or off myself. Not until this has happened.

The comments and reblogs on posts about my best friend who lived in Israel, and her mother (who is arab, btw) that was killed in the October 7th attack are beyond wild. I can't even imagine how crazy it must be to live in the middle east as a jew. This is only a fraction of the hate that I experience in my day to day life, now.

The middle fingers I get from pissed off passersby at Walmart because I wear a star of david, or the slurs I get called because I told someone I had to leave an event early for Shabbat. It's all hatred, and it all sucks.

The violence, and the aggression that innocent jews are getting from random people who hate them. The little old man who stood on a street corner and held a sign in protest of Jewish hate that was killed today by a pro-hamas protestor. Its all too overwhelming. Why? Because even if you choose not to see it, or even if you condone it and think its 'not that bad', Jewish hate is getting dangerously close to what it was during the time of the holocaust. What's worse? It's being praised. Not just accepted, but encouraged. I posted on my instagram asking for prayers over my friend who's having to hide in a bomb shelter because of the war. The amount of comments saying 'just let her die' were astounding.

I have to ask you, where is your humanity? When jews can not only feel compassion but openly support Palestinians and try and give their services to save their innocent women and children from dying in the war, where is your compassion for innocent jews? Where is your willingness to feel an ounce of sadness for the loss of a life? Are you so hateful that you will condemn a teenage girl to die because of the violence her government commits? And if it happens, will you be so heartless that you will praise the notion that she is dead?

A common phrase used when I ask pro-hamas bloggers what their stance is on the beheading of children or the raping of women is, it usually comes out as: "well what do you think declonization looked like?"

I am always shocked. Every. Single. Time... why? Because I hope with every shred of naivete i have in me that people who have lost so much will understand the pain of those who are also losing so much. When you condemn one government for killing your children, and bringing a genocide upon Palestinians, why do you not also condemn the murdering of children and innocent Jews? Is it because 'that's not your team?' Is it because you want to win so badly that you don't care what the cost is? Do you think that turning into the thing that killed your people will make you a hero? The only thing I can possibly think of that would make a person respond that way is bloodlust. When you condemn an entire nation (including the innocent people) of killing your own, then turn around and do the same thing to their innocents, do you think you've proved something?

Whenever I address these things I'm usually met with the same stuff about how I'm a Jew so I'm biased and I don't get to have an opinion... but I don't think it's fair to say that to someone who's literally living with the repercussions that your hate is causing. Don't tell me to be quiet if you're spreading nazi rhetoric about jews and telling people to kill us.

Again, don't bring any bullshit on here. It will be deleted, and you will be blocked. I've spoken my piece. If anyone is interested in learning more about the organization I work with and donating to help Palestinian and Israeli families getting caught in the crossfire, please drop me a message, I'd be glad to give you more information.

[coffee-in-rain]

hey! you don’t have to respond to this, but i just wanted to say i really enjoy your writing! i was on ao3 and couldn’t find your page, and when i went through my bookmarks i realized some of your writing was anon’d. i remember you mentioning that you were having a hard time writing due to the hurricanes (totally valid; i live nc so i understand how you must have been feeling / still feeling). i hope you’re doing well. and i hope you’re able to get back into writing and find your joy within it again. that’s all i wanted to say! sending you much love. 💜

first of all: please know that i am sending you the biggest hug and as much love and healing and well wishes to you in return. this turned out a bit long-winded so let me apologize in advance for my emotional and disorganized rambling.

all of us further down south have been keeping y'all in our thoughts and our hearts ever since september 27th. i hope you and your loved ones were doing all right during this holiday season. both emotionally and physically. ♡ your kind words have brightened my week more than you can imagine. thank you so much. i've anonymized my fics for my own peace of mind. (they're organized into the series Apricity now so hopefully it'll be easier to find them all). i'm hoping one day writing and posting on AO3 won't be as difficult once everything doesn't feel so fresh.

this hurricane season was rough and unlike any other i'd been through. there's certain things i haven't shared about my experience because they're difficult to think about. and i still have the occasional nightmare over it. knowing only a few last-minute-changing factors is what prevented me from coming close to possibly losing one or both of my parents to the hurricane in north carolina is something that'll stay with me for the rest of my life.

i really needed a long break from anything related to fandom over the last month and a half. i'm not certain how easy it is for people who don't have a personal connection to hurricane helene to understand how much it could impact someone's emotional state even months later. especially during one of the first holidays following that, such as Thanksgiving, when survivor's guilt and other heavy hurricane-related-emotions are bound to resurface at full force. emotions that many people are still processing and dealing with at their own pace.

stepping away from fandom to focus on other creative outlets in my life is what's been helping my mental health for the better. i'm in my cooking and baking era right now and it's been really therapeutic. i feel very lucky to have made a few genuine friendships on here and i'm grateful to still be surrounded by supportive people like you who've reminded me of why i wanted to start writing vulnerable Hannibal fics in the first place. THE IMMEDIATE CRY I CROWED WHEN I READ YOUR MESSAGE!! i literally clutched my heart in astonishment and was blinking back genuine tears because this was the sweetest and most unexpected thing to read??!! i cannot thank you enough for leaving such kind words.

i hope the knowledge that you aren't alone on your journey towards healing from this hurricane season brings you some comfort. i also hope this recent holiday season and the end of last year was filled with peace and healing for you and your loved ones. and i hope this new year treats you with an overabundance of kindness. btw if you ever have a vulnerable Hannibal prompt you'd want me to write, i'd love to write it for you whenever i am able to get back into writing and posting on AO3 again. not sure if it'll be anytime soon, but i'd try my best to make it happen for you one day. sending love and the biggest hug to you ♡

[goth-mami-writer]

A post about my life lately.

(If you fucking care ✌️🫠)

⚠️Tw: There's some mentions in this that may stir certain emotions regarding✨️pro-choice✨️mindsets (abortion) and vomiting. So if you think that's gonna upset you, don't interact pls. Thx.⚠️

Soooooooo-

I've been away. And here's why without being theatrical - I found out I was pregnant again. And....I wasn't happy.

I'm a mom to 1 already and...I knew that I couldn't do it again. It's hard, to be as frank as I can. The physical effect of pregnancy on the body is something...I despise? I had awful, TERRIBLE sickness the first time anddd fuck, it was the same this time.

Yeah, no. You can go ahead and count me out.

Well- Were you using BiRtH CoNtrOl?!, you may ask?

Yes. Abso-fuckin-lutely. I had an IUD inserted two months after I had my first kid. Cause FUCK THAT. I knew I didn't want another. My son's awesome. Being his mom is my reason for living. But pregnancy is not for me.

So- this being the decision, I fucking called the one person I goddamn trust and that's Mera. ❤️ @short-honey-badger

And bitch, did we plan a trip. We had to drive OUT OF OUR STATE TO RECEIVE THE CARE NECESSARY. (That's a topic for another day tho t-.-t )

✨️Anyways,✨️ Mera is a badass and drove me to said appointment as I'm fighting the most debilitating nausea. All I could stand to eat without vomiting was fucking popsicles and slushies. So yum at 5 am, BTW.

~But here's where shit gets wild~

I show up, ready to have this done. Get on with my life. Maybe start writing again because I know that I'll feel better. The nurses and staff were incredible and sweet. But there was one problem.....my IUD was out of place, they tell me.

Okay? I knew that, right? Obviously, that's why it didn't work and I got pregnant. Makes sense.

NONONONO. I'm laying on a table out of my home state, laughing gassed out of MY FUCKING MIND, with a lady doctor telling me in the calmest demeanor that she can that I need FUCKING ✨️EMERGENCY SURGERY✨️

LIKE. HOW DO YOU REACT...TO THAT?

So...the staff is obviously letting me recover from the procedure- THE ONE I JUST HAD. and now I'm being fed all this medical jargon basically saying that if I didn't receive surgery, this IUD was gonna tear its way into my other organs because it was already embedded in the muscle tissue of my abdomen.

Fucking AWESOME.

Luckily, all these people were contracted to the local hospital in this city and they were going to let them know I was coming over and all that good jazz, but I basically needed to get over there. Like...now. RIGHT NEOW. 💀

So then it's me and Mera just navigating parts of a city that we just DO NOT fucking know, trying to get me to said hospital where this surgery needed to take place. It wasn't far but goddamn this hospital had absolute SHIT parking. It was a monster to fucking navigate as well. Luckily, I was on some good pain meds that were keeping me kinda stable, but ooohhhh, not for long.

We get checked into the ER and yeah, I started HURTING. Not to mention also, viciously nauseous once again. But this time, because I hadn't eaten anything since 5am and I was told that it would basically be fucking ILLEGAL for me to eat again until I got off this operating table.

Fucking. AWESSOMMEE.

(I thought you said it was an emergency, why didn't they have you in OR yet??)

I HAD TO WAIT FOR THESE MFS TO GET THERE, HOLD ON.

My particular case needed staffing of crazy ass doctors to oversee this procedure. I swear to God, I met like 5 people in the four hours that I sat in the emergency room before being prepped for surgery.

I was rolled out for testing like four different times! All kinds of shit just being shot into my IV while I'm still fucked up on the first dose of morphine that's still whooping my ass in and out of consciousness as Mera is at my bedside like,

"O.o u okay?" (Bc she's an angel that stayed with me during the entirety of this fucking insanity like T-T)

FINALLY. I got into my fucking surgery. It went fine, everything is fine. But goddamn, I'm exhausted. Mera was exhausted. We'd been up for almost 24hrs at this point in the day and now I'm finally being admitted into an actual room for post-op recovery.

That next morning before my discharge, I was let know the gravity of my situation and things like that. I was reassured that nothing I did caused this IUD to move. And that meant one thing-

It was never inserted correctly in the first place.

✨️So✨️ let me be the first one to tell you- please. For the love of FUCK. Go get your IUD checked. Via fucking ultrasound.

Don't let that sassy nurse stick a speculum in your fuggin hoo-haa and tell you she can see the strings so you're good.

Guess what? EVERYONE SAW MY STRINGS TOO.

Check your IUD!!! Or you're gonna be knocked up, getting a little pregnancy✨️deletion✨️ in a strange state where a really nice lady doctor is gonna tell you that you're like weeks away from internally bleeding and need dire abdominal surgery to prevent that. And all you're gonna have is your bestfriend who you feel terrible for bc she didn't sign up for any of this bullshit. But there you are, passed out on morphine, hungry, confused, nauseous and WAITING FOR SURGEONS.

GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST. NEOW. 💀

[ifihadtopickadad]

you've made a mistake by telling me to go read up on the au- (/j)

anyway. susan refers to nessa and gregory as her children, so i assume this means she adopted nessa?? either legally or just emotionally, and considering she was homeless before henry gave them the afton house i am going to assume the us legal system wouldnt give her custody of nessa at all so its the latter.

WILLIAM FINDING REMNANT AS A TEENAGER IS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT ?!?!? like. him finding it post cc (i love how you call him benny btw. really cool name) or charlie's death is interesting, but the idea that he experimented using animals (AND HIS OWN FAMILY DAMN) and then moved onto children/humans once he- presumeably- did everything he could with being that didnt have the same level of sentience?? amazing. very evil-scientist core. love it.

remnant working similar to radiation is also an interesting idea, having to be stored carefully or it will 'possess' the objects around it. (imagine william tried to store it in a bucket one time and the bucket just. got possessed. what do you even do in that situation-) are there some materials that remenant is physcially unable to uh. meld itself into i guess?? like some resources are just remnant resistant??

will susan tell the kids about remnant? about everything (or even just some things) the aftons had going on? or is she going to try protect them from the truth?? DOES SHE FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKE POST-SISTER LOCATION?? is the scoop canon to this au?? (if so my next question is how did faz ent get the sperm of a corpse but its faz ent. theyll find a way.)

the au seems great so far !! definately really interesting, will be Rotating It in my mind for the next several days and going mental any time you post something new for it lol

take care !! <3

It Twasn't a mistake. Twas a calculated risk.

I love people asking about the stuff I make. I'm out here stimming from excitement, you got me smiling so hard that my dimples are showing.

Emotionally and illegally. If there's one thing the lore has shown us about Henry beyond what we already know, it's that after William's bull-fuckery Henry had to be just as shady to bring the musty dusty purple Pringle down so paying someone to forge adoption papers was easy(I like to think he fnaf!Neil Caffrey to do it)

The concept of William discovering Remnant post-CC is nice but it never lined up quite right to me, I know way too much about how famous historical scientists studied the way stuff worked extensively to even begin experimenting with it to think that he discovered Remnant, and immediately started killing people to get results. William isn't on the Anti Social Personality Spectrum but he is an undiagnosed Narcissist with a God-Complex. So, William discovers Remnant as a teen and does smaller experiments to figure out how it works (this is one of my fnaf theories specifically around William's relationship to Remnant)

All the discourse about Remnant is actually what inspired the Radiation thing. Everyone, everywhere, was losing their minds over the insanity that is Remnant and I had a throwaway thought about how we've seen all this in fiction where Radiation is the given cause: the mutates in every Fallout game ever and the TV show, Spiderman, The Hulk, Corpse Mikey would fit right in in the Fallout-verse, etc. All fnaf does is take all of those concepts and shove them into one place and I love that. The only thing it doesn't do is bring you back to life and I think that's because you need internal organs for that. Mike lost his organs but not his brain so Remnant kept brain activity going.

The bucket thing did happen. It wasn't a bucket thought. It was one of those plain lunch boxes. He had one already but, he bought an extra to store the Remnant in. Long story short, it's early morning, and he's practically brain-dead as he gets ready for school so he grabs one of the lunch boxes without. Lunch in the cafeteria was legendary that day. The lunch box screeched, and he made up a half-lie about trying to invent a musical lunch box but grabbing the wrong one. He invented an actual musical lunch box that was fairly popular in UK for a while.

Yes! Funny enough Radiated materials are the only things Remnant can't meld itself to. He could never figure out why but, William's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He bought and repurposed multiple microwaves to act as radiated containers.

By the time they get to the house Gregory and Nessa are 10 and 14 respectively so she does tell them, they're also Geniuses ala Afton Genetics and they're also Peak Gremlins™️ so they'd find out anyway.

Everyone knows Michael Afton(legal name Mike Schmidt) as a Missing Person's case that's gone unsolved for decades by this point. The footage of him getting scooped was scrubbed as was his being worn like a meat suit. But there is footage of 'Mike' forcing himself up and to the Elevator. His organs were all gone by the time the Police got there but the blood muscle and other bodily fluids were still there. It's believed that Mike was lured to the scooping room through abuse and manipulation a fact further compounded by the bodies of the technicians being found hanging by police.

The general belief is that he died out in the wilderness but, his body was never found hence the Missing Presumed Dead thing. This all happened in 1986 when he was 17. Afton Robotics and Fazent shut down Circus Baby's officially and stopped renting out the Funtimes after this because they weren't fast enough to cover it up like with the Missing Children's Incident and the Bite of '83. And so began the downfall of Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics.

So yeah, the scoop happened here, and since Remnant works with what's already there and Mike's practically made of the stuff because he grew up eating it, his sperm was kept intact ala Remnant(I mean he didn't lose his penis to the scoop.)

As for the name. I was watching the sandlot when I came up with it. (His middle name is Garret) I'm glad you like it.

[cult-of-the-eye]

( this is on the post of the list of The Fears from scariest to least scary)

please tell me your thoughts about The Fears

1. To me the corruption is the scariest cause wdym there's something inside me slowly rotting me inside to out and there's nothing I can do about it apart from let it take me and it hurts and there's no known cure (btw I am deathly afraid of getting cancer)

2. Flesh isn't as scary as corruption cause like it could be removed from the idea of life, we used to go to the Bangladeshi butchers and watch then cut slabs of frozen fish using their huge machines and shit but also gore and body horror kinda terrifies me, it goes hand in hand with medical horror, like someone's been sliced in half and you realise just how fragile human life is, how at the end we're just organs that are pumping blood and moving chemicals around.

3. Slaughter is less scary than the others cause it could be comforting being killed as a collective but also the theme of death continues, the idea of masses of bodies is so very human in it's causes and consequences and doesn't feel so fictional

4. Buried is less scary than the others cause it's less about death but listen. my entire life I've been terrified that I'm just gonna get stuck somewhere. Like I once couldn't get a churi (bracelet) off my wrist and I got so panicked I just smashed my wrist against a wall to break it off. So yah.

5. The stranger is less scary than the buried cause I could run away from the stranger but the idea that this person I know is not at all who I thought they were is bone chilling. It feels like betrayal at its core.

6. Dark is less scary than the stranger cause over the years I've gotten slightly less scared of the dark but I've gotten more scared of people not being who I thought they were. The dark is comforting, it's a sensory neutral and a life saver on some days. Other days i sprint up the stairs cause I'm scared the murderers hiding in the cupboards will stab me.

7. Mmm now that I think about it I'd probably put web a little higher cause I despise the idea of being manipulated, like don't fucking do that to me, if you want something just fucking ask. But maybe I was right to put it here cause it mostly just makes me irritated than scared.

8. This is the mm kinda chill territory I think cause spiral is just how I spend my life, my brain is not a fun place to be so yeah I'd enjoy being the incarnation of indescribable for the rest of my existence but also the idea of losing my control over myself is a little scary despite my having so much experience in it

9. The eye is ok, I feel some comfort in being watched over, never been left alone, constantly needing information like I get it, I was an autistic 7 year old gorging myself on horrible histories once. But also like if eyes started growing on me I'd start screaming and never stop but I think that's more body horror than beholding

10. The vast is so fucking comforting like the idea that I could just be inconsequential in the face of everything, I could maybe just relax and float in the nothingness for a while. But then also I'm scared of drowning so like I'm bringing arm bands

11. Everything ends. I'm good with consistency and the idea that everything ends makes me feel like there's something to keep going for. I'm not good with endings but what comes after, I am extremely skilled at.

12. I adore the desolation. Oh how I've fantasised about giving it all up, watching it burn before me, the cruel satisfaction in it. I like how quiet everything is after it's been destroyed. A clean slate.

13. Yeah so I have re occurring dreams about being hunted. I think it's half the idea about being wanted enough for someone to pursue me if I run but also the comfort of survival mode. The comfort of knowing the fight won't ever end.

14. The lonely. Oh man. Let's just say I'm on 40mg of fluoxetine for a reason.

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Writeblr Summoning Circle Intro

Patreon (you can join for free btw)

Ao3

Taglist sign-up

Hello and welcome to my shrine place of power writing blog. I'm Ceph, they/them, and despite the ghostly username I am, in fact, a regular human adult with a job, college homework, skin, blood, etc. Video games, houseplants, and buying books faster than I read them are just a few of my hobbies.

I write different flavors of fantasy mostly, with sprinkles of horror and romance/spice thrown in for pizzazz. If you're interested in...

Vampires, werecreatures, necromancers, merfolk, and/or passive-aggressive poltergeists

Resourceful protagonists in terrible peril who sometimes make choices that change things forever, for better or worse

Lovers becoming enemies becoming forced allies and maybe more in some cases

Themes of solidarity, the myriad facets of love, and people fighting for a better future

Slow burns

Worldbuilding that I definitely don't make up on the fly

Mortals becoming deities and vice versa

Telepathic monsters that could devour your soul -OR- become your best friend

Liminal spaces like roadside diners at 3 a.m

...you might find my WIPs tolerable. Possibly even fun.

Follow my sideblogs @dysthanasia-series and/or @the-primrose-path-story to get notifications for new chapters and other neat story-related stuff. Check out @coven-archives to see what I'm reblogging from fellow writers. Or just ask to be put on a taglist for a WIP you're interested in.

I welcome asks, prompts, writblr events (Worldbuilding Wednesday, etc.), and any interactions that lead to transmutating Internet strangers into friends. Do tell me about your characters and lore. I want to devour know all of it. Yes, even the obscure facts that never really make it into the story despite hours of research poured into them. Especially those.

That's pretty much it. Feel free to reblog or like this post or invite me into an object you own at the stroke of midnight if you want me to give a follow.

Below the cut you'll find a list of WIPs and links to read them which will increase my power every time you click one. Content advisories are at the top of each work and chapter.

Apophenia

Genre(s): Urban/Paranormal fantasy, vampires, post-apocalyptic

Status: Redraft in progress

Mermaids don't exist. Every agent of the Coven, the organization that researches and governs the supernatural community, knows that. Accepting a classified assignment to investigate sightings along the Broken Coast is just an easy paycheck as far as Isaac Soto is concerned (not to mention another way to avoid dealing with his trauma and relationship issues).

A chance meeting with a charming stranger in a roadside diner changes not only the course of Isaac's assignment but the trajectory of his life. A life now in danger of being cut short unless he figures out how to escape the bloodborn who takes him hostage, a necromancer out to kill both of them, and the corruption at the heart of the organization he thought he believed in.

The Primrose Path

Genre(s): High fantasy, romance/erotica

Status: Rough draft in progress

When his village is taken captive by an enemy nation, Illuminator Ân's priority is to make sure his people survive to fight another day. Faced with everything he's stood against as a priest of Cyanos, god of light and life, Ân prays for the strength to overcome and do what he must. It's not long before he receives signs that his petitions have been heard. Just not by the deity he serves.

Beyond & Between

Genre(s): High fantasy, portal fantasy, whump

Status: Occasional, out-of-order updates

Sail beyond where the seas turn red, until the sky is filled with unfamiliar stars, to the lands between realities. Magic and the power to leave one's old life behind awaits for those brave enough to seek it.

Beyond & Between is a collection of stories set in the strange places settled by ancient people, deities, and creatures from Earth who fell through the cracks.

Whumptober 2022

Each prompt followed by the story series it's set in and the MC. Content guidelines at the start of each story.

[rozecrest]

i played slay the princess for the first time yesterday! it was really cool!! i have covid so i was like i need to make this day memorable for a different reason and distract myself so i'll finally play this game (similar reason i started reading dunmeshi -- but that was just a scare)... gonna talk about my full run under da cut this post got long. spoilers, of course

okay so i knew a little about this game in that i saw a few screenshots of the princess looking Different so i knew she changed but i didn't know anything about then narrator or the voices or the vessel (that's what i took to calling our handsful growing god we brought gifts to. i think it's a fitting name thematically if technically incorrect) or the looping game mechanics which i'm glad of!

run-through of the main actions i took

first loop: questioned the narrator intensely, did not take the knife, chose to keep course of saving the princess after she lightly threatened me for dithering about it, the narrator took control of my body and i warned and resisted until she killed me. i meet the damsel and the voice of the smitten, argued with the narrator, slipped the princess' hand from her chain and asked her what she wanted over and over until her drawing simplified enough that it seemed painful so i let it go, we left together and she was taken... and i met the vessel for the first time

second loop: i shirk the call and refuse to go to the cabin just to see what will happen. there are infinite fractal cabin. the world ends. the stranger begins! i meet the voice of the contrarian and take the harsh stairs and have the worst icy trip of my life. i talk to the stranger until she shatters and shatters and shatters and i have no choice but to slay her/save her/every option until she combines into a three-bodies-joined princess, and the vessel takes her

vessel interlude of note: speaking to Her this time i felt confident that i ccould kind of do whatever and not ruin things, and find my way back to Her. i decided to choose to slay the princess. i wanted to see what would happen

third loop: the princess is quite rude this time, which makes the choice easier. i play at deciding whether i should rescue her for a bit, and the strike. we fight. we both die. do you really think this is the end? i wake up and meet the adversary. don't take the blade and i refuse to fight. it causes her agony. she kills me. she becomes the fury. i believe i gshe kills me awfully and says it will be forever. the vessel takes her anyway

having the time of my life on priv btw

fourth loop: i speak to her for a while, and am unsure what path to take, so i leave, and push the table up against the door, and go to sleep. the princess comes to me anyway. i die of fright. she says she will not forget. i wake up to the nightmare. i believe this is where i meet my favorite voice, the voice of the paranoid (the voice of the hero is narrowly second to him in my ranking). absolutely love him chanting your organs into function, it creates such a good rhythm and tension to the moments. the nightmare and i get all the way to the cabin door and i kill her. on impulse, and because it felt like at the time that violence had been my least utilized path. she takes me with her. i am falling, falling, falling. i choose to throw away the knife. i die terribly.

i reach a third chapter for the first time! the wraith :)

i love how fucked up the road looks. and this is maybe my favorire cabin entrance..

she breaks my ankle, i let her possess me, she walks me out to her freedom, she is taken.

fifth loop: i don't remember how, but i reach chapter two: the witch. (on second thought: i think i had an almost identical run to the very first meeting. i am taken over again, but i cannot resist. i am killed) my utena senses immediately start tingling even harder, and this was correct to happen. and for the life of me, i cannot remember what i did here! and don't feel like checking history.. i think i gave her the knife? because in the next chapter, the thorn, she already has it. and i did not kill her.

i made her trust me, and i did not break it. as a lesbian, this chapter was emotionally manipulative. of course i was going to save her. of course i wanted her to trust me, and keep it. her being taken made me terribly terribly sad, she was ready for a future, gone now.

i went to the mirror. the narrator took me instead. i've grown to resent him by now, how he spins the princess and the player against each other over and over, encouraging my worst violences. i had told the vessel once that when i found him i would kill him. my desperate want for answers got in the way. and he was dying anyway. i asked them until he was ready to shatter on his own. i told him the truth: that i was still deciding what to do, and i wanted a hand in that choice to be hers.

endgame! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i rejected godhood. i spoke to all the gifts i had given, which was really cool and affecting, loved that. i found the hero, and we went to her heart.

i was VERY indecisive. i wasn't sure what could get me what i wanted, which was of course a breaking of the cycle, a forging of something new, walking to the outside world lesbianly etc etc. on my first go of the cabin at the heart of the princess, i took the knife. i chose to because i felt more often than not i had chosen not to take it. i felt validated when the hero said it was wise, that it tended to give us more options than it didn't. considering who he was, i shouldn't have listened LOL

first: i chose to kill her. i hated the choice, but i wanted to see what would happen. i became a god and saved the nameless world and broke from the constructs. my voices came back, pissed, and decided to beat me with hammers forever, lol

i reloaded a save for a very first time. second: i chose her option. i was on a path to the cabin in the woods. i had a job to do. credits roll. MISERABLE ! deeply fun that it's an option, but miserable.

i mulled on what i could do to change things for a bit. i had been saving often throughout, at places of interest or nexuses of change, so i had plenty of options. it came to me like a bolt. of course! don't take the knife!

third: we left together. utena ass ending. we can always build new roads ! i am sentimental and was deeply invested in the princess' freedom and happiness and possibility fo life outside this violent cycle we were bound in, so i was happy to tell her i loved her, open the door together, and leave, close the game, and let that world be final. for now :)

last thoughts: i really enjoyed that. i'm always saying i need to play more visual novels and i really really do they rule they rule! the art in this was so cool! the voices were so creative! i liked the writing style a bunch! i loved how settings shifted. i loved how branching it felt, like there was always something new to try. always enjoy when a game just closes on you and greets you again when you open in like the vessel did that one time. good game !

things i want to go back in my saves and try at some point

becoming Gods and letting the world fall away with her

breaking the narrator before He can die on his own

breaking my body in a meeting with the vessel

killing the vessel before She has collected enough selves

and also trying to find more of the princesses i missed!

scrolling through achievements i didn't get also (i got 24/97) and i saw you can kiss her. i bet its fucked up. i would like to see it

[edith-is-a-cat]

Edie's Moots!!! - Archieved.

The ones I've interacted with (alphabetically organized)

💕@angelhairpastawithherbs - Mx. Rose Moth!! - HAS THE SAME MOTHMAN SHIRT AS ME AND THATS HOW WE BECAME MUTUALS SO LOVELY (thats why you are called Rose Moth in my head!!) #mx. rose moth!! 💕

🐙@azulashengrottospiano - Ms. Auburn!! - DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON IS MY MUTUAL GUYS /j, Seriously so very lovely love dropping art in there inbox. *Silently foaming at the mouth with their writing* Literally feels like a celeb followed me back. Tumblr mom/oldest sister skjdnbvkjerfl ily /p and thank you for being so nice to me #ms. auburn!! 🐙

💫@bloody-puppets - My child!! - HIIIIIIII *spins you around like a hula hoop* Yes his tag may have been "father" but those are lies this is my child. Acc snatched up and will help u around tumblr bc you are child. please ill make a terrarium you you goobers #my child!! 💫

@ - Mr. !! - OMG TELLS YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING IM EXCITED FOR YOU WELCOME IN!!!

#mr. !!

🎩@dapperceature - Mx. Dapper!! - EHEHEH IVE MISSED YOU UNDERTALE FANDOM AND ITS SO COOL THAT I HAVE AN UNDERTALE MOOT ILY MWAH /p #mx. dapper!! 🎩

🍬@ - Mx. Ferris!! YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE AND BE RLLY NICE AND SUPPORTIVE FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN MY BLOG BEING VERY BLUE, why thank you the rolls will be done in a bit. (ALSO PICKED ME UP BY THE SCRUFF AND ADOPTED ME?) My favorite moot to chew on #mx. ferris!! 🍬

🦀@fryofthefrench - real person. WALKING NONBINARY PRIDE FLAG 🫵 #mx. samsung!! 🦀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🫵

🐍@l7k-a - Mr. Haru!! - I THINK I LOOKED AT UR PROFILE ONE TIME AND THOUGHT ABOUT FOLLOWING YOU THEN I CHICKENED OUT-- NOT TODAY and u like Basil freaking spinning and shaking. U r like my dad... you have asked me to sleep and isn't late several times. love u sm #mr. haru!! 🐍

🪻@h2llish - Mr. Devil!! I have a fourty bucks, and hopefully the ability to drive soon, wanna grab food?? #mr. devil!! 🪻

💪@i-like-forgs - Mr. Ryoko!! - reads your posts like I read the newspaper, making dramatic gasps ever now and then. I love being to see a little bit of your life. Rattles the bars of my cage, I'm so happy to see you. #mr. ryoko!! 💪

🐎@jangletam - Junior!! - Ken irl -- carefully fits you with a lovely cowboy hat and matching pair of boots #robin jr!! 🐎

✨@officialdaydreamer00 - Mx. Irene!! Picked me up off the side of the road after I reblogged one of his things an unholy amount of times (it was so cute tho I plan to read more when I have time :3!!) #mx. irene!! ✨

💤@vntey - Mx. Leo!! - Ur cool i like you goober #mx. leo!! 💤

🌸@ - Mr. Momo!! - PLEASE PLEASE you are so cute and sweet and im a seal plushie to you omg my heart <////3 /pos thank you for existing here bpufvbehbtvhrbtvhbrv you are so neato#mr. momo!! 🌸

🎀 @shinysparklesapphires - Ms. Sapphire!! - HSHVJKDNVJERVHJBERHD PRETTY MAGICAL GIRL SO COOL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-- u r so neat I would love to hand feed you (edible) glitter #ms. sapphire!! 🎀

🪷@twistwonderlanddevotee - Ms. Sofia!! - THE WAY I STOOD UP AND RAN AROUND WHEN I SAW U REBLOG THE THING WITH THE PRETTIES WALLPAPER EVER-- I hope you get so much pretty stickers get you arts and crafts supplies and gives you stationary cause i feel u would like it (btw DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TAKING LONG BUT THAT WAS JUST SO SWEET AND I HOPE YOU DID SUPER WELL ON UR FINALS!!!!) #ms. sofia!! 🪷

🐇@twst-om-lover - Mx. Nightmare!! - spins you like a basketball #mx. nightmare!! 🐇

🐇✨@vivislosingitagain - Mx. Vivi!! Can we turn the ocean into tea together??? And then have a tea party if ocean tea doesn't taste weird! (I decided the second emoji for you hope you don't mind!!) #mx. vivi!! 🐇✨

🐈‍⬛@v-anrouge - Mr. Aster!! - You can have some of my blood if you want, fun fact, my blood type is ab so it's not really too useful if I donate it. I would love to bake you something and sit you down to watch a ghibli movie. I really like scrolling through your blog its very neat and i wanna put stickers and sparkles on it. Internet dad. do i have to say more? #mr. aster!! 🐈‍⬛

⭐🐍@weskers-husband - Mr. Miles!! - Hi gremlin boy I'm very glad you are here, post your art right fucking now.. Cool dude please talk to him and be cool to him, if you are mean to him I'm taking your keratin (also check out his poetry account @poems-husband >:D) #mr. miles!! ⭐🐍

🦈@whspermy-name - Mr. Minty!! - *gives you a 10 pound bag of gummy sharks and BOOKS IT for the hills* #mr. minty!! 🦈

🐀@xen-blank - Mx. Xen!! - IM INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING??? GIGGLES AND SHAKES YOU LIKE A JAR OF PICKLES glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you (EHEHE U R SO NEATO) #mx. xen!! 🐀 You are welcome to ask to be mutuals! I will usually become moots with you on my own if I find you interesting or we just interact a ton!!

[happyheidi]

Hey so um, gently, and as a longtime fan of your blog—rosaries are pretty sacred for us Roman Catholics and it's not really appropriate to use them for aesthetic reasons or as jewelry. Basically they're a devotional and meditational tool; we use them to meditate on major events in the life of Christ, and to ask Mary to pray for us.

I get the impulse because some of them are quite beautiful! But they're also holy items. Would you mind not using them in the future, unless it's in a religious context? Like I think including them in a Catholic-themed moodboard would be fine, but a color-themed board probably not.

I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh because again I really like your blog and I'm definitely not mad or anything! I just thought I should let you know the meaning behind the symbol. :)

in regards to this post

Oh! tbh I didn’t really see that rosary until you mentioned it, but I understand! (I’ve cut it out as much as I could of the pic btw!) I will not use them in moodboards unless it’s, like you said, in a religious context.

I’ve grown up with rosaries (among many other religious artifacts/symbols. Mostly Hindu as my mother works with/in India.) I have 3 rosaries that have a deep meaning to me, eventho I’m not catholic (or into organized religion). I see the beauty in it and I’m very fascinated with the usage of them. So I truly didn’t mean any disrespect!

how this made me feel (jk. but it’s so funny so it stays😅)

Thank you for letting me know in such a kind - and informative - manner! I really appreciate it. You live and learn. The beauty of life <3

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

youth i wrote for carlo: 😊😊💀😊💀💀😊

youth i wrote for anna & xaviero:

Their youth is literally "In a range between despair and hope"

Anyway. Lately I've been thinking more and more about the possibility that Carlo's family might be from Corleone. It's relatively fitting, it seems. But it also means unrelenting horror: Bernardino Verro('s murder) -> WW1 -> Mussolini

Thought 1

I honestly just don't wanna leave Lily and Anna in Sicily. The more I learn, the more it makes sense that Xaviero might have moved them to America as well. Mostly because of Mussolini (It would make the most sense if they lived in Gangi, which was the site of Mussolini's siege in 1925. In this case family's transportation has the greatest motivation, because it wasn't only the criminals who were affected, but the entire population). It also makes sense that all the characters eventually leave Sicily. Because at some points it's a story about emigration, because I want to reflect on that and look for different reasons for each individual character to move. (Moretti likely moved his relatives to America as well, but that doesn't play a significant role in the plot). Anyway, Xaviero was trivially scared to leave his mother and sister there, I think. I don't know yet how to organize it to make it look logical and smooth. Of course, I really like the moment when Carlo sends a letter to his family after killing Xaviero, cutting all ties with them. It's poetic enough. But life isn't poetic. Being in the same city makes everything tenser. He needs to look into the eyes of his mother and sister (and he can, he can look! and he won't even have a guilty conscience. You need to keep in mind that people like Carlo & others live in a different space). There may be a parallel here: “I ask forgiveness only from the Lord God and my mother, because their love knows no bounds. The rest of the world, I know, will never forgive me." (Although that phrase is more appropriate for Moretti - he really values family. But like the others, he's an ambiguous character - since I added an arc with him and Eddie's uncle, where Moretti asks the latter to come to America urgently without the possibility of refusal, thus taking him away from his wife, young daughter /and btw from Eddie's mother. But I won't write about that here, it's a different important arc that needs explanation/, ie. cutting this man from his family). Either way, it can be a very interesting and complex situation & dynamic. And yes, mostly I just need reasons to fit Lily and Anna into the plot. It certainly changes a lot of the existing dynamics between characters (for example, between Eddie's mother and Carlo), much can change Carlo's character too. A new headache for me, but also opens more possibilities (because the current version of Carlo cutting off from his family seems to me a little bit cartoonish & it irritates me a lot)

^ "Начар малай" by AIGEL. wanted to post if for a long time; makes me think of Lily & Anna (aigel gets the criminal topic better than anyone else. honestly). They certainly didn't know that Carlo killed Xaviero (or?). I'm not sure about crime in general. It's a complicated situation

Thought 2

Continuing with the Corleone theme. I think Carlo's family are peasants after all. Socialism adds more meaning to Carlo's father hanging himself. It's really a tired bull (the slow collapse of hopes for a better future if socialism does win. It didn't). It's a little funny that Tomas and Verro died in the same year - it can be connected logically now. I'm still thinking (if to develop the thought that Falcones are from Corleone) how fun it would be to make Moretti and Carlo from the same place. Moretti's father could be a gabelotto* who didn't want to join the mafia himself, but sent his son there. (*Gabelotti - middlemen to whom landowners leased land). Also makes sense. You can tell that the fact that the name “Tomaso/Thomas” means "twins" still haunts me. About Moretti & his father being a gabelotto - would be funny if Lily briefly saw Moretti and thought he looks suspiciously familiar, but she can't quite recall where she might've seen him.

This, in fact, could've been the case even if they weren't from Corleone. The socialist fasci* movement wasn't only there, but Verro's headquarters (the most prominent representative) was there. (*not at all the same as Mussolini's movement). Also adds sense to Lily & Tomas being socialists and then Anna & Xaviero being deeply interested in politics - Verro did a lot for peasants's education

Thought 3

I was thinking about Xaviero's attitude towards Italy and its army. At first wanted to make Xaviero and the rest of the family favor the Italian government, for a stronger contrast to Carlo (mostly because of the hopes of being freed from the mafia) and Xaviero actually serving in the army (initially with a lot of entzuism but later disillusioned). But 1) the government did terrible things often to perfectly ordinary people; 2) there may be a collapse of illusions here; 3) Xaviero's draft age falls in WWI, so it's a matter of survival. I'm not sure he would have gone there. So it's more likely he was a draft-dodger. Or maybe he did, but he deserted. He's the only man in the family and I'm yeah not sure how Carlo's family felt about the Italian government (I think there are ambiguous attitudes there that changed every decade?). The defection story actually looks really interesting. Reveals the Sicilian-Italian relationship (it's not their war) and adds Xaviero's problems with the law - the same as the others, but for a completely different reason. ("Mothers don't believe in death, waiting from train stations for their sons - alive. They sleep without locking the door, the floorboards creak - alas.” and then, later -> “hold me in your arms and never let me go anywhere”*) Also adds to Xaviero's motivation to move to America - it will be easier to be realized there and in the context of the law

*something personal to me again (when it finally won't be? moretti plot would contain 3 scenes if it wasn't that much personal). My mother still thinks my brother is a coward for not going to war (when conscripts were illegally sent to the front in sept. 2022). I don't believe a mother would want her son to go to the meat grinder. But it happens in life. And here again, I want to give the fictional characters more normal things. Life is always going to be more complicated than any fiction. Some things that happen just can't be made up on their own - I'm becoming more and more convinced of that with each day

"Сирота" by АукцЫон. Makes me think of Falcones in general & "How much does the captain owe the coachman's granddaughter?" could be so funny if Morettis & Falcones lived in the same place (captain here is for Xaviero)

[theninjazebra]

got at lot of aimless grrr going on today, and surprise surprise it's in response to all the discussions of homeschool/unschooling influencers. Cut because no one should see my ranting and raving unless they really want to -

(This really is just a vent post, I'm not spending hrs of my work day looking up a hundred sources just to complain about my feelings.)

gonna bullet point this because sentences are too hard rn

the home school defence league is an extremist org and shouldn't be used as a source for anything holy shit

yet again - socialization is the least of the fuckin worries

the health of the parents isn't an after thought. when you're homeschooled the parents are the whole world.

no, but actually. the number of homeschool parents that keep their kids home as a way to freely indulge their issues is umm... a lot.

some of that is relationship issues. some of that is a way to makes your kids your whole world (and vis versa) because a grown up life (including work) is too hard.

"but people shouldn't have to blah blah" yeah, but children should still be prepared for life in the hellscape. wanna bet what kind of sex ed happens in homeschool communities? wanna bet what they think of vaccines? wanna bet what they think of internet safety? they reeeeaaally like depriving kids of power and autonomy.

sitting at home with your young children, building a fantasy world to escape the real world with all your mad friends. guess what happens when the young sweet children turn into teenagers?

not a lot of education.

i still think home education should be an option for families, for many many reason. choice is good.

but my god is the community fuckin rank as shit

and so many discussions about home education don't talk to homeschooled adults. there are a few of us now, and a bunch have families of their own. there is a big diversity amongst us. some absolutely thrived and homeschool their kids now. aaaaand a bunch don't.

HOMESCHOOL MOVEMENT IS BUILT ON PARENTS RIGHTS CROWD. again, that doesn't mean they're wrong about everything, but the fundamental ideology is cooked af.

the don't believe in children's rights. they don't believe in human rights, either. they believe in power above all else. no, really. ignore their propaganda, look at their actions.

for a crowd that is so obsessed with their kids i cannot overstate how little they give a shit about their kids needs and thoughts and feelings, esp when they contradict the party line.

the social pressures within community to out-do each other means its always sliding to more extreme positions.

ok, but again, it's all about the parents.

from tiny things, like personal taste about stuff, to big things like access to doctors, or basic life skills.

It's not just what you miss out on, it's what's in it's place

and having such total control of your kids means the parents get challenged a lot less about everything too.

again, it's little shit, like what colour clothes the kids wear

and big shit, like the idea that women should vote

this isn't just my experiences either btw

so yeah, the unschooled kids are going to have literacy issues

they're also trapped at home with an unstable adult ALL DAY

i did go to a school for a bit. the school was small, religious, and had a fuck tons of problems and i found out later had an awful rep for bullying (no shit)

but it was still a break from a parent that was suicidaly depressed, that's not nothing.

and if your keeping your kids home because you're scared that's umm not good.

it's not good for the parents (homeschooling effectively, even with an unstructured approach, even with tutors, even with all the resources is hard fuckin work and requires a lot of organization)

it's not good for the kids (your world is run by fear.)

i can't separate my experiences out from other parts of my life, they're too fundamental

it's like wondering if parents hooked up with someone else

the me i am now just wouldn't exist.

everything is too tangled

but it definitely made preexisting issues so much worse

and cut out other voices, other perspectives

homeschooling made the world smaller in every way, squished us all together. no distance, no relief.

and yes, educational neglect is a significant harm, i've ranted about that before. it's easy to do, happens by accident most of the time. it fucks me up all the time, well into my 30s.

but my god it's secondary to being stuck in a house with an adult that is free to indulge their every fantasy -

again, from small shit that doesn't matter, except it does when you have no fuckin control or power over your own life

to big dark apocalyptic paranoid fantasies about the nature of society, government, the whole of the universe

so yeah, the unschooling influencers are delusional, but they're so much worse than that.

i feel awful every time i see content about this atm. it's been an absolute fucker of a time for a bunch of different reasons, so i'm not going to pretend that this is more than bin kicking. but my skin crawls every time i see this shit. and so much criticism that almost gets it, but misses the mark on the full picture.

ok i need a drink, a food, a panadol, and to get some work done.

[cr1nge-culture]

i find fandom so fascinating. the reasonings behind fans' reactions, especially when it comes to certain characters, is so interesting to dissect. i'm not smart enough to know things about stats or demographics, but it's cool hearing about them.

which leads me to this: the way people completely disregard it when people try to point out the overwhelming amount of racism and sexism prevalent in a majority of fandoms.

no, you shipping two white men is not inherently racist or sexist. no, criticizing fandom responses to m/m ships isn't inherently homophobic. nuances!!! exist!!!!! aaah!!!!!!!!

i think if we as a community actually take a step forward to acknowledge the nuances and problems that we still uphld, there would be so many more talented people willing to take a chance on fandom as a whole. because lemme tell you, even i, an autistic someone who's entire life revolves around fictional characters and stories, absolutely hate fandom and ao3 culture. like genuinely, it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. (someone criticizing ao3 isn't akin to burning down the library of alexandria btw!!)

alas, fandom is dumb! and if you want to stop being dumb, i highly recommend this series on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209645

genuinely one of my favorite series of posts. i think who uses ao3 should read these !!!!

k that's all for now. just some thoughts i've had today. idk, i'm tired. happy halloween ^^