#Possibilities of An Impossible Existence
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Literally. Be vigilant I love you. Something beautiful is going to happen. True love is possible only in the next world—for new people. Tomorrow is just a whisper away. We refuse to accept that the world has to remain like this. It's the world and you're made of it, you can't be unmade now. This is somewhere to be, this is all you have but it's still something. Things can't go on like this forever; something will give, it always does. Comrades, the forsaken, the wretched, who tried to rise against the horrors of the world. She would die to return to it. One day I will return to your side. They're beautiful and true—and they will win. The future can be better than the past, if we're willing to work and fight and die for it. In dark times, should the stars also go out? I exist. I exist too.
#txt#literally i go and do something else for a while. for months. and then suddenly i'm like “man disco elysium was so good”#the tower stood for a moment and the insulindian phasmid exists and the future can be better than the past.#we believe it because it's impossible.#and by believing in it we make the impossible possible#literally the countless instances of inframaterialism being proven true in the game#and inframaterialism being in itself a metaphor for Hope#I love you inframaterialism I love you Mazovian Economics I love you Girl Child Revolution I love you Insulindian Phasmid
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I'm really not a villain enjoyer. I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. But I can't see fictional evil separate from real evil. As in not that enjoying dark fiction means you condone it, but that all fiction holds up some kind of mirror to the world as it is. Killing innocent people doesn't make you an iconic lesbian girlboss it just makes you part of the mundane and stultifying black rot of the universe.
"But characters struggling with honour and goodness and the egoism of being good are so boring." Cool well some of us actually struggle with that stuff on the daily because being a good person is complicated and harder than being an edgelord.
Sure you can use fiction to explore the darkness of human nature and learn empathy, but the world doesn't actually suffer from a deficit of empathy for powerful and privileged people who do heinous stuff. You could literally kill a thousand babies in broad daylight and they'll find a way to blame your childhood trauma for it as long as you're white, cisgender, abled and attractive, and you'll be their poor little meow meow by the end of the week. Don't act like you're advocating for Quasimodo when you're just making Elon Musk hot, smart and gay.
#this is one of the reasons why#although i would kill antis in real life if i could#i also don't trust anyone who identifies as 'pro-ship'#it's just an excuse to shut down legitimate ethical questions and engaging in honest self-reflective media consumption and critique#art doesn't exist in a vacuum#it's a flat impossibility for it not to inform nor be informed by real world politics and attitudes#because that's what it means to be created by human hands#we can't even make machine learning thats not just human bias fed into an algorithm#if the way we interact with art truly didn't influence anything then there would be no value in it#just because antis have weaponized those points in the most bad faith ways possible#doesn't mean you can ignore them in good faith#anyway fandom stans villains because society loves to defend and protect abusers#it's not because you get the chance to be free and empathetic and indulge in your darkness and what not#it's just people's normal levels of attachment to shitty people with an added layer of justification for it#this blog is for boring do-gooder enjoyers only#lol#knee of huss#fandom wank#media critique#pop culture#fandom discourse
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actually i was thinking about meryl's personality shift in stampede and if vash will feel guilty about her becoming more cynical and hardened. i imagine a scene in the next season not long after eriks when they meet again and meryl is now calling out vash's bullshit or just generally being skeptic and vash lightheartedly asking what happened to that girl he knew who believed in him even when it seemed hopeless. and meryl just saying "julai". by which she would mean the horrors she saw there and the death of roberto (none of which are vash's fault) but vash taking it so so personally. that he ruined yet another bright thing. i think it would hurt him like hell and therefore very possible orange would do that
#orange looking at manga vash like “hm. amazing. yknow what he needs more of tho. additional 5 tonnes of guilt”#they hit him with every possible and previously thought impossible guilt that might exist in the trigun universe#and brother i cant wait to suffer alongside him again 🥹👍#tristamp final phase on my mind nonstop due to the upcoming panel....#trigun#trigun stampede#meryl stryfe#vash the stampede
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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if terraria has taught me anything, its that you can literally put an encyclopedia inside your game explaining everything the player would want to know, and players will STILL ignore it, use a wiki instead, and then call the feature useless
#txt#terraria#“terraria is literally impossible to beat if youre not browsing the wiki” they say#while ignoring the existence of the feature thats literally in the game to make it possible to progress for a new player#the guide has got to be one of the most disrespected npcs in all of gaming#game design
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Have we been capitalizing enough on the prime real estate that is Possessive Dragons? All the dragons are in Cale's unintentional thrall on some level. Gift-giving, secret lair tours, hunting for him, protection magic, posing as a guard, all of that is good.
But (and this may be my past fandoms showing) shouldn't we... Have a few ideas about them deciding that Cale is theirs and chewing on the thought that Cale... should be like them?
A brief, collective intrusive thought passed around that... Shouldn't Cale be free like a Dragon? He already seems so similar aside from his frail lack of mana. Commanding, calm, powerful, unbeholden to the divine or the demonic... To a generation of dragons so far from a living Lord, he alone has the power to command them as such. They are slowly striving for a future filled with connection and they want him there.
Unblinking reptilian eyes stare at Cale lying between gold coins and plush sheets, breathing shallowly with sleep. Completely unbothered by the attention of such mighty beings as Raon curls around his head. Unknowing of thoughts of berry-red scales and slitted brown eyes. The Dragon Half Blood next to him flinches in his sleep but settles down at Cale's body curling closer. Dodori's grasp tightens on Cale's sleeve in protest, a snore soon following. A little hoard of dragon children sleeping the evening away while the adults brood silently...
#Suga Rambles#TCF#LCF#long post#don't worry about the whole Half-Dragons Shouldn't Exist It'd Be Bad info the novel gives us ok?#they know it's against the balance but they're operating on the Cale Henituse scale of impossible now#which is to say IF IT'S FOR OUR FAMILY#IT'S POSSIBLE
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#pansear#trying to talk about these pokémon is fuckin impossible when i keep mixing up all their names. the sear vs the pour vs the sage with the#pan vs simi and everything. every fuckin permutation of names possible exists i swear#it's so difficult. also why do the fire ones look so sad. i kinda just noticed that#grass is like. angry. water is appy. and fire looks sad#maybe this is like… a metaphor… about our society………
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Lucy Gray and Coriolanus’ relationship failed because they both didn’t truly know or understand one another
Coriolanus had understood Lucy gray to be differing things over the course of the book but she was ultimately “his girl”, he believed that she liked the attention that came with being a performer(the peacekeepers overall treating her nicely after her Ballad) even though the most it gets her is basic respect and decency. A way to further his own prospects as a mentor. His manic pixie dream girl that he could control and that would always be there for him and only him.
However…
Lucy Gray had misunderstood Coriolanus to be a pure and noble person. He went above and beyond to ensure her survival when he didn’t even get confirmation that she felt the same way for him(until the kiss that is). That he didn’t just love her for her songs, he loved her for who she was as a person. Despite her admitting her troubled past, the social imbalance, and the so called trouble she caused him. “Pure as the driven snow” and all that.
If we really want to stretch it then perhaps she saw a performer in him, Snow’s financial situation is never explicitly stated to Lucy gray but I’m sure she would be able to tell that he had less than his peers, and that he was pretending to have wealth so that he wouldn’t loose his way of life. Just like she performed so as to not lose hers.
The conceptions they have for eachother is absolutely flipped once they realize the others true intentions. Coriolanus that Lucy will not eternally be in love with him with her possibly running away. With Lucy gray possibly realizing that Snow was not as pure as he seemed (lying about the third murder)
#a lot of ‘possibly’ here because we don’t truly know what Lucy gray is thinking#it’s all inferred and theories#Coriolanus snow could never make me hate u Lucy gray#snow acknowledge that gray morality exists challenge IMPOSSIBLE#tbosbas#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow
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i love how star rail paints fate as not just one single End. there are countless paths towards fate, and theres multiple possible "endings", even if some are more or less likely than others because one end may have more paths that lead to it
and that defying fate isnt even on the table (currently). they work within the confines of the rules, seeing a potential "ending" they want to achieve, so they try to work with the established order to specifically land on the path that leads towards it. it doesnt paint fate as a terrible, unavoidable thing that makes you feel powerless (like genshin) but rather as fate just being the way the world works and highlighting the importance of Your Choices
maybe 99% of fates suck, but theres still the 1% that doesnt suck. although the chances of getting that are unlikely, its still technically possible. in the wise words of dr. veritas ratio himself
a possibility still exists even if it is infinitesimal, but it is Not Zero
#honkai star rail#hsr#i looooove how hsr handles fate. its so hopeful#i have like 435945 thoughts about fate and aeons and the plot. still in the process of writing a theory i have also#this is also why i love penacony So much and not just bc aventurine exists. well that too. but also because#“make the impossible possible” “make your dreams reality”-> is literally The Plot to me. the stellaron hunters Thing of guiding us#towards the most fortunate ending#it seems futile the chances may be infinitesimal but theyre still Trying to get on the 0.000000001% path towards the Best Fate#bIows kisses towards penacony#anyway so elio is an emanator of order am i right guys
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Would they moonmilk someone tho
weirdly enough, yes... and no. like. simultaneously. it very heavily depends on what context gets them involved with moon milk in the first place
#bc they're a post-heart's-desire mr cards#they are THE furthest possible thing from light fingers and moon milk and whatnot#it's not even on their radar. they don't even know it exists (at least in the way it does in LF)#they know what moon misers Do because they've been to the roof and they have their own pet miser#(its name is jerry. you can see it on their profile. it is absolutely infatuated with them.)#(they probably keep it on their airship as a mascot or something)#but like. they've never really been... Exposed to moon milk. they only know it in relation to misers using it to hunt#aka the normal function of it#in order to get a situation wherein they have the opportunity to forcibly moonmilk a guy#they'd have to either 1) get involved in the plot of light fingers#or 2) get a lovely tour of the orphanage courtesy of mr fires or something (which is. unlikely. though not as impossible as you'd think)#it's all a matter of how you Present it to the scoundrel i think. depending on circumstance#they'd either agree to do it once and then be horrified by the results + swear not to do it again#or they'd agree to do it just because fires Wants Them To and they just shove down their horror bc they want bat reputation points#or they see the Entire Deal™ beforehand and they refuse from the start#it all varies. tldr generally no* but with a suspicious and concerning asterisk on the end#i subscribe to the ''what could push this character into this situation'' model of thought and i delight in thinking along those lines 😌#ask#scoundrelventures
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the kind of lasting trauma that comes from having your entire home be unsafe yet eerily calm for several hours is really hard to accommodate. it's hard to avoid triggers once the wound is reopened because everything is a trigger. just the existence of the space itself becomes a source of fear and there's no way to escape it because this is literally just where we live. it doesn't matter how safe we actually are because being reassured that we're safe is also a trigger and everything appearing calm is also a trigger. it's hopeless and nowhere ever feels safe now
#what compels a person to set a fire in an apartment bedroom and behead several stuffed animals#what could possibly make that seem like a good idea#in some ways this is worse than the assault trauma because that's at least easy to avoid#but this is just impossible to run away from because the trigger is just us existing in a space
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I think the thing that fucks me up more about Lister’s dream is the hug that comes just before the kiss.
like the kiss moment itself is a tad awkward and it was probably kind of meant to be and it’s played a little silly for the dream sequence as they just smush their faces together (and also that puckering of Rimmer’s lips as they lean in lmao)
But I mean it makes me feral anyway bc I can’t believe they did that at all and I love the implication much later in Red Dwarf that dreams and hallucinations etc create their own universes so Somewhere out there there’s at least one universe where that moment was real and they’re fully canon somewhere;;;
But anyway the moment immediately before the kiss even happens gets me every time.
Like they’ve just said they both miss each other and the emotional weight of the moment becomes too much so Lister gets up and pulls Rimmer into a hug and Rimmer’s face destroys me bc it’s very much that ‘oh god…I’m finally home’ kind of hug.
Like he looks a little overwhelmed immediately, like all the air’s been knocked out of him by this first touch with Lister since that last goodbye hug in Stoke Me A Clipper. A hug itself is a kind of comfort he probably hasn’t experienced much of in the first place and certainly not one with as much emotional weight to it. The knowledge that someone missed him, that Lister missed him!! And the little sway they do in the hug, and the way Rimmer’s face softens hearing Lister tell him not to leave ever again. It makes my heart burst;;;
#Red dwarf#I want them to have had a moment like that when Rimmer DID come back from being Ace;; maybe the right moment didn’t come#or whether their own awkwardness got in the way. It’s not impossible for lister to move in instinctively for a hug then remember the dream#and awkwardly dial it back down to a handshake or something and push down the emotional vulnerability#esp given Rimmer’s attempts to quantum skip away again later it’s possible that theres a lack of an emotional welcome home that eats at him#like he could go away again and it wouldn’t matter bc he didn’t know how much lister missed him. It didn’t get the right closure#which culminates in the moonlight speech. The closest thing lister can get to being honest about needing Rimmer to stick around#it’s still too much in some ways to just Say What He Means and feels in straightforward ways#So we’re sun and moon and moonlight only exists because of both of us is the way to go
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sorry but im like the worlds biggest hater when it comes to future/next gen au stuff for sonic characters . and its not that i have an inherent problem with people doing those types of aus/stories its just that i havent seen many people do it in a way that isnt boring and also actually fits the characters. like they either make almost everyone cishet and go with all the "default" ships and/or put most if not all the characters in a married with kids situation even if it doesnt fit them or something else would be more interesting. and they also just completely ignore the concepts of adoption or single parents or people who just dont want to get married or have kids . and its like why are you all so boring with this why do you insist on shoving everyone into little nuclear family boxes even if it doesnt work for them as a character especially when non traditional family situations are such a common thing in sonic come on
and i think that out of all the characters sonic is one of the ones who gets it the worst with this sort of thing. with the way he acts in canon having him "settle down" into a "traditional" married with kids lifestyle once hes an adult feels like the most forced and out of character thing ever. he would not fucking say that etc etc
#especially if its with amy . mandatory disclaimer that i love amy#but sonic eventually agreeing to marry her in the future is like the worst possible ending to their whole situation#its bad for both of their characters i think . for multiple reasons#also if its with shadow . like im not saying him and sonic could never date or anything .#just that i cant see them living together and getting married and all that super serious and committed stuff#i guess you could argue that sonic not caring about romance and stuff could change when hes older since hes only 15#but . i kinda Dont Like the implication that growing up/becomign more mature = suddenly wanting to get married and stuff#also am i the only one who thinks its unrealistic for everyone in the existing cast to end up marrying someone they already know right now#like im not saying its impossible for some of them to end up getting with eachother#its just that . most of them are teenagers or otherwise really young and they have so much time to meet other people#what if rouge's future wife is some random person we've never seen onscreen before huh . ever thought of that
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Some day I'm going to write a story in which the readers are rewarded for having good knowledge of weather. Like, the characters need to travel somewhere through the mountains in a high stakes situation, and in the chapters leading up to that, I already put in enough information about how it rained a few days earlier or sth similar that a reader who knows this stuff and knows about the characters' abilities and equipment can already form a reasonable guess as to how it might work out, or be extra aware of the dangers involved.
#birdypersonal#I'm still salty about a published book in which a literal CHILD travels DOWN a glacier ALONE with a PONY ... THROUGH a CREVASSE#highlighting all the points that are either plain impossible or would make it a highly dangerous situation#The whole scene is the character introduction of said child and is written with the narrative tension of a leisurely stroll in the park#without anything that told me why such a feat would be possible for this child under these conditions#I noped out of that book immediately#There is no way to convince me of that even with magic (which did exist in that world)#Immersion immediately broken#character introduction ruined#why should I care about the story if it's written with such a disregard for things I care about#Not tagging the book because it might have an audience somewhere / here - I'm just not it#writing
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anyway
the smitten explains that she won't free herself even if she can slip her chains because she needs us to 'present her with freedom'
whether she drags our corpse or eat us the beast can't live without us accepting it
if she kills us and survive one way or another, she will be there the time after because she can't leave without us. (fun fact but the smitten is right about everything :p)
interesting that the initial explanation of the narrator is not 'if you free her she'll end the world' but 'if you fail [to slay her], it'll be the end of the world'. it's not dependant on her getting out it's dependant on us killing her. somehow this gets turned into 'she'll end the world if she gets free', which is different on 1) it's an action she'll take rather than something that'll just happen and 2) the inciting point is her being free instead of us not killing her.
That's really not an unimportant distinction !
#myposts#slay the princess#anyway the construct is not made to allow her to be free#...it's not even made for sustained existence with us dead#it' probably only exists around us#and can only lead us to the cabin#and somehow the over-narrator didn't manage to keep the possibility of us getting out of the cabin impossible#not that it matters ! it doesn't matter whether we get her free or not what matters is slaying her or not#(well it fucking does of course. but not for the purpose of the construct)
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I think it's important to resist the urge to pathologize ultimately harmless behavior like maybe you can trace it back to its parent disorder but if it's not harmful to you in any way that isn't a symptom it's just a trait
#part of disability praxis is uncoupling productivity from worth#so part of unlearning your own internal and unconscious ableism is like not speaking of neutral things negatively#like in the same way that real body positivity lies in body neutrality#where we don't assign value judgements to physical features#we have to unlearn that neutral behaviors like stimming or using a mobility aid or refusing to cover scars#are somehow shameful or wrong or that they can tell you about who a person is#just because something makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't meant you get to make them stop#it's a negotiation always always always#what are you willing to budge on and which boundaries are hard limits#anyway yeah it doesn't matter if I have a specific bendy joint thing I'm used to how my body works#I'll grant that it can be difficult to tell from the inside what things actually should perhaps be a little pathologized#you know the I though everyone just dealt with this recurring pain school of diagnosis#but that's why you exist in a community so you know when something is actually wrong#or possibly I'm just so used to having my perceptions questioned I just sort assume an authority somewhere is Correct Objectively#and that doesn't exist!#if there is a perfectly efficient method to life to maximize happiness it is impossible for human minds to find except by accident
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