#Poor Goose he's traumatised

[nyree2712]

Top Gun - Incorrect Quote 96

Maverick: What's Kazansky's damn problem? I am not reckless or dangerous! You don't understand Goose, but he has a fucking stick in his ass, with that fucking pretty blue eyes and -

Goose: He'll stop in a few days Mav

Goose: *Thoughts* Or this end soon or this is end with me

*20 years later*

Bradley: *Calling his parents - Location: USNA* Dad, you don't understand, he's a plebe, that stupid Seresin, ughh he's so annoying! He has a fucking stick in his ass, with his fucking annoying but cute green eyes he beli-

Goose: *Sobbing into Carole's shoulder* NOT THIS AGAIN

[pooks]

time to nag about my headcanon "Percy has Seer powers" and why that is a great idea

first of all, a little clarification; this isn't common knowledge to the younger siblings. only Arthur, Molly, Bill and Charlie knows. they kept this secret after Fabian and Gideon Prewett died

this implies that they died to protect Percy, who was just this tiny toddler who had absolutely no control over what he could See

the result is to keep his Seer powers secret

some background info; Percy's Seer powers is a rare gift that is apparently passed down from the Black side

Cedrella, aka their paternal grandmother, had it and has taught Percy how to use and control it. that's why Percy had a more closer bond to his granny than the rest of the family.

Arthur did not inherit it, but one of his brothers did. unfortunately, his poor brother is dead (it's not Billius, but someone else cause Arthur had three brothers accourding to the wiki) because he rather die than to let himself being caught by Voldemort and used as a tool.

while he doesn't understand Seer powers too well, Arthur respects it and is trying to be supportive for Percy.

also at a later point, Percy had 1 Bad Incident™ involving his Seer powers and it slightly traumatised him enough to not try to use it again

he takes divination in his third year for two reasons; 1, he also want to achieve 12 NEWTS like Bill. 2, he wants to understand his weird future-seeing power.

Oliver, his roommate (oh my god they were roommates) finds out by accident and keeps nagging him about the future Quidditch match results. Percy refuses cause that's SPOILERS

and now ONTO THE FUN STUFF

Percy can look far into the future, but he settles for the fun stuff

he occassionally makes references to memes and vines

his siblings doesn't understand them at all

at least until they're all adults with families in the future

and they be like "YOU KNEW"

and Percy just smiles innocently even though he absolutely isn't

Harry and Hermione aren't safe from Percy's Seer Shenanigans either

everytime Hermione is working with a crossword, Percy's eyes flashes green for a moment and when he opens his mouth, Hermione hits him with a pillow cause he was about to reveal the answer

Harry asked Percy once if his Seer powers was why Fudge promoted him. Percy simply smiled and said "yes, that was the reason. but the idiot didn't realized that i tricked him all the time and sent him on a wild goose chase."

aaaaand some Ministry shitshow stuff;

HEADCANON TWO; PERCY MADE LIFE SOUR FOR FUDGE AND THE IDIOT NEVER REALIZED IT

ofc Percy would be petty af once he figured out Fudge only wanted him because of his Seer powers. which means the fucker looked at the classified information in his personell file. Percy is obvs mad about that, but it's too late to tell his family about it and he decides to be an absolute menace about it without being caught

"getting caught means that you weren't smart enough to get an escape plan"

Percy takes full offense of being treated like a tool instead of a human with rights

he burns several draft-ups for the "updated law for underage magic" because they're fucking awful and he knows the bastard wants to ruin Harry's education. that also means he would ruin his baby siblings' educations.

he also burnt the suggestion papers about giving Azkaban prisoners the dementor's kiss without trial.

the law suggestions about banning human rights for werewolves, wizard hybrids and squibs also got BURNT INTO ASHES

Percy: I decide the future now. >:)

Scrimgeour makes an early bird appearence cause Fudge can't find the law suggestions anymore and he was the idiot to not keep copies.

after investigating privately, Scrimgeour finds out that Percy burnt them up and this madlad explains why.

suddenly Scrimgeour fully supports Percy and says his late uncles would be proud. bonus: Scrimgeour simply says to Fudge that he can't find things that may be gone forever, it's sadly "lost media" now.

Percy, getting the idea from the twints, orders dragon fertilizer (it's dragon dung lol) subscription from norway's dragon research center and sanctuary and sends it to Umbridge, using her forged signature

he's careful to not get caught, so he looks into the future (a bit at the time, though)

feel free to add some of your own ideas/suggestions/headcanon about Seer!Percy Weasley :)

[romcomxdd]

WIP Wensday (Friday because i'm lazy n forgot)

‘Fuck.’ Maverick groaned; his head held in his hands. The kitchen bench was strewn with various forms, printouts, and bills, all relating to Carole’s funeral arrangements. The pilot had been struggling to make sense of the funeral bill before him and was heavily regretting not waiting for Ice to return from work before attempting this. The other man would usually deal with this kind of thing, he was the numbers guy.

The already present headache had begun to build the second he’d opened the letters, and the words seemed to move and blur before him.

‘Jesus Christ,’ Mav muttered under his breath, leaning back in his chair, nothing seemed to make sense.

The last few days had been full of tears, sleepless nights, and funeral arrangements and Bradley hadn’t been taking it so well. The poor boy had locked himself in his room the second they’d gotten home from the hospital and had only emerged for meals or to use the bathroom. Mav partially blamed himself. He’d found his own mother’s body and it had traumatised him for years after, but he’d let the poor kid experience the same thing, though slightly less bloody.

 Carole was dead. She was gone and she wasn’t coming back. Neither was Goose. Nor his mom. They were all dead. So many of the people closest to Mav had died and he’d been powerless to help them, every fucking time.

The tired man choked, biting back tears as his head throbbed. He was spiralling, again.

‘Mav?’ A tired voice sounded from across the room and Maverick glanced up, quickly rubbing his eyes dry. It was Bradley, standing in his blue pyjamas and a teddy clutched in his arms. His hair was ruffled and his eyes were squinting, as if he had just woken up.

‘Hey, Baby Goose,’ Mav held his arms out to the boy, who quickly moved to curl up in his lap. ‘Nightmare again?’

Bradley had always had some form of night terrors, but ever since Carole’s death, they had gotten worse and more frequent. Ice and Mav had spent many nights attempting to calm him down, eventually they’d taken to bringing him into their own room to sleep.

Bradley closed his eyes and buried his face in Mav’s stomach, his shoulders were still shaking.

‘Mhmm-‘ The boy murmured, his voice muffled. ‘Can’t go back to sleep’

Maverick sighed and begun slowly running his hands through Bradley’s hair. Something he remembered his own mother doing when he was a child, and he had later done to Bradley’s father during the long months of deployment. It seemed to help, as the boy’s breathing slowed, and his stiff limbs relaxed into Mav’s hold.

The two sat there in silence for a while, the younger boy only shifting every so often. Maverick took the situation as a welcome distraction from the paperwork strewn before him and was more than happy to stay here as long as Bradley needed.

‘I miss Mama.’ Bradley’s voice was hushed, barley a whisper. Mav gritted his teeth, his hands pausing for a moment before he replied.

‘I know kid, we all do,’ He replied and leant down to place a kiss on his forehead. ‘I promise, it gets better. It might not feel like it now, but it always does.’

Mav realised he must not be the best person give this advice. He was barley holding himself together.

Bradley let out a little whimper and moved impossibly closer to Maverick, his tiny body squirming in his grip. A few moments later, the boy turned his gaze up to meet Mav’s, wide eyes blinking innocently. ‘Am I gonna live with you and Uncle Tom now?’ He whispered, leaning into Maverick’s hand.

[bella-rose29]

episode 5 commentary - Death Is Coming

the usual warnings of swearing and lack of context, as well as a lot of comments on hands and arms and obviously spoilers for both the series and the books

girl has stare down with a skull in a jar

omg it's been so long since I watched and I forgot how pretty lockwood is

OMG HE ASKS IF SHE WANTS JUICE

WHAT IF THE JUICE IS ORANGE AND HAS BITS IN

lolllll George is shipping already and the episode only just started

Georgie needs more sleep

lockwood takes the Mum Stance

I always think that the DEPRAC van is a lego van bc it's yellow

ohhh you can really see how big the coat is on lockwood :(((

ooo nice detail with the lavender pin that he has

'wILL yOu cAN iT pAm'

hands

ugh Lockwood's so pretty

Georgie noo

'bobby Vernon will have been at it since dawn'

'alarming how quickly you got into character' (code for: I am completely in love with you')

careful Georgie that's a lot of blood

ew dead body

'I know him' YOU CAN SEE HOW UPSET HE IS BUT HE'S GONNA HIDE IT BC HE FEELS THE NEED TO BE STRONG ALL THE TIME

I JUST WANNA GIVE HIM A HUG

CAMERON CHAPMAN THE MAN YOU ARE HOW DO YOU DO THE MICRO EXPRESSIONS SO WELL

ohhh lockwood is trying so hard to not be upset and it breaks my heart :((( poor boy

✨swagger✨

I want an epic breakfast

'I hardly knew him' BOY DON'T-

wow she's a bitch let my boy do research

get away from Georgie you bitch

eeeeeee

'when am I not nice' Luce I hate to break it to you

Lucy that is very clearly a ghost and not a real baby

silly goose behaviour

'I did' QUEEN

'who's the latest slapper?' ICONIC

'oh wow, a female serial killer? aspirational, why don't you stick it on a t-shirt'

I love lockwood bc he makes sure the remains go to a good home AND Flo gets her money

ohhhh I just had a Thought! what if one of the reasons they made Joplin a woman was to draw parallels between her and Mary dulac??? one of the headlines on the papers is 'mystery madwoman: Bickerstaff connection?' so maybe they wanted to repeat the past but this time make the crazy one go too far and die? idk if that even makes sense but oh well

Georgie noooo

no leave him alone

let him go clean the oven and I'll be there to make him a tea

WIFE BEHAVIOUR

he can't even slice toast without being Extra

JONATHAN BESTIEEEEE

'a suicide note' Lucy honey have you noticed that your bf has a tendency for suicidal things

I really wish the bisto was in the background bc that would be hilarious

'I thought you'd be dead by now' NO LETS TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

BECAUSE HE GOES FROM QUIRKING A LIL SMILE, TO LOOKING DOWN AND THE SMILE DISAPPEARING, TO INHALING AND SMILING EVEN WIDER BECAUSE HE KNOWS LUCY IS WATCHING HIM

give that boy some therapy for free

aw two nerds talking about mythology (I wish I was the other one)

also can we talk about the STAGING OF THIS SCENE??? BECAUSE JOPLIN HAS A MIRROR OVER HER LEFT SHOULDER AND GEORGE HAS ONE OVER HIS RIGHT

also George has the city lights behind him and Joplin just has the beige walls and I love that for some reason, maybe to show that George's life is bright and he's got life left in him whereas Joplin can only gain brightness from George bc she needs him for the mirror? idk if I'm explaining that right but oh well! also Joplin's mirror reflects the light behind George which is funky

just you wait for my next analysis of the show which is almost certainly gonna be on the use of mirrors lol

THE STAGING AGAIN

FILMING THEM IN THE MIRRORS

I LOVE THIS GHOST SHOW

'how did you meet Flo?' 'can't remember. ages ago' LOL HE'S HIDING THE FACT HE GOT HIS ASS BEATEN

ohhh the green lighting

'I'm not worried. are you?' well not when you say it like that

while I do love this show I am very sad we didn't see more of lockwood using disguises

of course he knows how to pick locks

I don't like it either Lucy dw

I love how jarringly innocent the stuffed bear is compared to the fact that they're in the warehouse of a family with a significantly traumatised boy

lockwood and kids <3

sack of potatoes

I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she must be dragging the Actual Cameron Chapman out by his feet

Georgie noooooo

idk why he's looking around bc he doesn't have his glasses on so he can't see shit

I shouldn't feel the way I do about lockwood regaining consciousness but the expressions- I just- hmm

'I'm a burglar, you should call the police' honey not one of your better lies

no bc why when I first watched this did I think that winkman was the same actor as Pekka Rollins

winkman: 'shall I draw some pretty pictures on your pretty little face'

lockwood: 'omg you think I'm pretty?? 🤭🥰'

ohhh I'm getting inspiration for a fic I started planning 👀

I can't imagine having to pretend you're being electrocuted like how do you know how to act that

I feel like something can be said about Leopold wearing red and mrs winkman (I forgot her first name WAIT ADELAIDE) also wearing red but idk what

omg hedgehogwood

winkman is actually so funny *points at lockwood* *puts hand over heart* 'ohhh' he's literally us

aw lockwood pls don't say that she's got more to live for than you :(((

omg Lucy tells Leopold to get out the way <333 she'll regret that :D

this couple loves setting fires

Georgie seriously how are you without your glasses rn

green light green light green light

funny looking bird you got there george

'total psychos' dude-

'I prefer to call it a noble sacrifice' NO I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

greeeeeeen lightssssss

'what is going on with you' Cameron Chapman Acts his Fucking Face Off

omg lockwood saw the knife and then looked out the door to see what was there

that's such an awful angle to be lying down

omg poor lockwood

the way he's sat in that final frame breaks my heart bc he's literally just had someone else die in his home :(((

wow what a depressing note to end on

[ikamigami]

Aw Sun sounded so genuinely distressed when he accidentally turned Moon into a goose even though that was harmless and easily reversible

Oh, you're right, dear anon.. D: I forgot to mention that before in my post..

Poor Sun is scared that he's hurting Moon even though nothing serious happened..

I want to wrap Sun in blankets and give him hot cocoa and his cats and forced him to bed so he'd rest QwQ

I'm afraid that something bad will happen and magic will be involved traumatising Sun once again 😭

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[callme-chaos]

Tommy SMP (DSMP)

H-hello? How did you get in here? Tommy doesn’t usually let randoms in. Uhhhhh lemme just consult the list real quick. What’s your name?

Huh. Doesn’t sound familiar. Buuuuuuut there you are. On the list. What’s your purpose here then, pal?

A tour? Well, the person who usually does the tours is out in the moment… But I guess I could show you around. If you would like to follow me – yeah just ignore the holes and stuff. They’re just remnants of a couple of wars we’ve had.

What kind of wars? Bro, where have you been?

Not from around here? Evidently. Well, first there was the Disk Wars. You see, Dream had these cool disks but Tommy really wanted them, you know? And this is /Tommy SMP/ and not /Dream SMP/ after all so there was all that. Then there was this Quackity kid who tried to start a nation and Tommy didn’t really like the look of that. And so Tommy and this Ranboo guy decided to blow it all up – I don’t remember the details. You see, I’ve been away… uhhhh… travelling so I don’t really see too much of what goes on here. That and I seem to be forgetting a lot of things… I really should fix that-

Huh? You’re confused. Buddy – I haven’t even told you about the Egg yet!

Yeah! An Egg! I can show you it right now actually. Just follow me.

The vines? Yeah! They’re a nice shade of blue but they’re a real pain to cut down, you know? They just seem to grow back stronger. Now, just pop down this hole here – yeah just straight down.

Oh! Ah. I really should have warned you about the fall damage, huh? I’m sure we can pop into George’s bakery later and fix you up. Providing George is in his bakery… He stopped baking a while back.

Why? I don’t actually know. I’m not really too involved in the politics around here (travelling and all that) buuuuut I heard a rumour that him, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle and Technoblade have started like a secret club. Not sure exactly what they do but if Ranboo is involved it can’t be good. Anyways! Here’s the Egg. Don’t step too close though – I’ve heard it has some serious manipulative powers. Niki’s best friend Foolish got transformed by it the other day. She was quite upset. I think she runs a cult in the Egg’s honour with Ponk or something now. She’s nice but pretty scary when she wants to be, I’ll tell you that much.

The Egg is giving you weird vibes? Yeah. You and me both. The blue is giving me shivers actually. Shall we continue our tour elsewhere?

Next? Hmmmmm. I know! I’ll take you to Hannah’s castle and museum. They’re a great tourist spot! Follow me.

Yes we have a museum! History has been made here on the SMP, I’ll have you know. This SMP was founded by the Tommy Team made up of the hot-headed, dashingly attractive Fundy; the greatly popular, widely enjoyed Bad Boy Halo; and, of course, the 1000IQ man himself, TommyInnit. Though, Tommy… hasn’t been about much… lately… not since… you know…

Well, if you don’t know I hardly have the time to explain now! (I’ll maybe show you later if we have time…) Anyways! Here we are: Hannah’s museum. This miserable little dark room here is a recreation of L’Manberg’s Final Control Room. Back in the first L’Manberg verses Greater Tommy SMP war, L’Manberg’s founding fathers (Schlatt, Sapnap, President Quackity and Vice President Dream) were all betrayed by a member of their own battalion: Hannah-Rose. They were dark times, kid.

You want to know more about President Quackity and his right hand man Dream? Well, they were incredibly close – practically brothers. They both went through a lot together. Until Quackity finally blew up L’Manberg and was subsequently killed by his own father, Charlie Slimecicle.

I didn’t say they were dark times for nothing, you know? Dream took it harder than anyone. And Tommy took the opportunity to traumatise and manipulate the fella further. Tommy even managed to convince Dream’s best friend, Schlatt, that he was the root of all problems on the SMP.

We couldn’t believe it either. Dream did have one friend, Ranboo, for a while. But they ultimately disagreed on their ideas of justice and went their separate ways.

Sad times, indeed, kid. Anyways, where to next… Oh! Hello, Eret! How are you doing?

Ah. He’s busy. Off being cracked at bed wars I suspect.

What’s the big black building over there?

Uhhhhhhhh… Have you seen HBomb’s hotel? It’s great this time of year! Just this way, matey. Technically it belongs Dream but HBomb briefly took it over. There was some kind of dispute between the two guys – nobody here really takes HBomb that seriously. (Personally, I blame the ancient skin he still wears. Kid really needs an update, you know?)

That? Oh, I suppose you can still see some of the remnants. That used to be Punz’s UFO. Someone blew it up but I’m not entirely sure who…

How do I know it was blown up? Look, I’m just taking Quackity’s word for it.

He did die but then he was recently brought back to life. He spends most of his time with Dream outside Las Nevadas.

Las Nevadas is basically the Tommy SMP version of Las Vegas. It’s pretty cool actually – wanna check it out?

Cool! We’re actually heading in the right direction for that anyways. So, where are you from?

Yeah, I gathered you weren’t from around here but where are you actually from?

…Not gonna tell me? Fine. So be it. You sure are a mystery, huh?

I’m not flirting! I just- I… Ah! Look at that! We’re already here! It’s pretty dramatic, right?

You should see it at night. Everything lights up and it is magnificent.

It belongs to Wilbur. He’s the head honcho around here. He’s here alongside Puffy and Phil. Oh! Speak of the devil, if you squint a little bit you can see Phil down there now, bouncing around. He’s a cutie really – though his puns do get tiresome.

What do you mean “you don’t get tired of puns”?

…Are you human?

…What a terrifying answer. Okay! Moving on!

I’m aware that it’s one of the ugliest structures in existence – but you can’t blame Wilbur and Las Nevadas for /that/ abomination. That’s what Quackity and Dream installed last time they were here together.

I know it’s phallic but you don’t have to say that out loud! Come on, man, have a little class.

That up there? That’s Schlatt and Techno’s “cookie castle” as I like to call it. When Dream was exiled, Schlatt met Techno and they started getting really close. They’re everybody’s favourite couple now. I think it’s a friendship that will last a long time, you know? They seem to have a lot in common.

Like what? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh They’re both American?

Look, if you know, you know.

Alright! Next – shall we have a change of scenery? Las Nevadas can get quite… heated, so perhaps we can give the snowy biome a visit, yeah? Now, when we get there it’s important to tread carefully: the forest is enchanted, practically everything there will eat you and, worst of all… Ranboo lives out there.

Ranboo? He’s a terrifying force of nature. I heard he slayed an entire army all by himself, owns a pet polar bear and he helped Tommy take down the entirety of L’Manberg. Ranboo and Tommy – they’re one formidable duo.

No no! There’s no need to be afraid! Apparently Ranboo’s arsonist days are over and he has his carer Charlie Slimecicle watching over him so he’s been relatively quiet recently. I like to think their neighbour Technoblade has been a good influence on them both.

Technoblade is a gentle soul. Poor kid just wants to make everyone happy, you know? I wish everyone was more like Technoblade sometimes – the world would be such a different place…

Nah, nobody can really sleep soundly – not when Antfrost and Purpled are still out there. The Eggpire and Las Nevadas never really rest when it comes to their members. Oh! But by far the worst person to come across – the real reason I haven’t slept in weeks on this server – is… Oh. Oh dear. I think I’ve summoned him. Walk this way – quickly! – and don’t make eye contact…

NO JACK I HAVE NO DESIRE TO WITNESS THE JACK MANIFOLD “GRIND” NOW PLEASE TAKE YOUR FILTH AND YOUR CAT-MAID OUTFIT AND GO BOTHER SAPNAP OR SKEPPY INSTEAD!

…Alright, no need to look at Jack like that.

Jack Manifold in a cat-maid- no. Don’t make me lock you up in Pandora’s Vault along with- uhhhhhh.

Forget I said that. Speaking of Skeppy, he built Schlatt and Techno a beautiful mansion around here somewhere-!

He also built an extraordinary diamond sculpture a while ago-

Please no.

…I guess you leave me no choice then, huh? I guess, I can show you the prison – but we have to be really, really careful, okay?

Who’s inside? Well…

I didn’t forget! It just… Tommy. Tommy is in the prison right now.

Well, of course I didn’t want to tell you! It doesn’t really look good on the server when the person its named after is locked up for life for doing unspeakable things.

No! I’m not gonna tell you what unspeakable things he did – it wouldn’t make them unspeakable then, would it?

…I don’t believe anyone else is in there, no. Why?

Ranboo? Nahhhhhh! Ha ha! What do you know, you silly goose! Well, before we go into the prison, we’ll have to get Puffy’s permission. She’s really strict about who she lets in and out of the prison and takes her role as prison warden very, very seriously. No one has ever died or been injured or brought back to life or wrongly imprisoned while the prison has been in her care.

What do you mean – “not convincing”? If you don’t trust my word, then that’s a /you/ problem.

…The prison is this way. Now, when we get in let me do all the talking… You know what? Perhaps you should stay outside. I’ll go in, talk to Puffy and try to get permission to go in – but I make no promises, understand?

…Alright, wait here.

…

…

…

Puffy said no.

No, it was a pretty definitive no actually. Wh-where are you going?

You can’t! Puffy hasn’t given you permission!

There’s nobody in there /to/ save. Tommy deserves to be in there-

There is nobody else in the prison!

You’re insane.

No, I won’t let you.

…

…I don’t think so, matey. Feel that sharp object between your shoulder blades?

I figured you did. That’s my sword. I am not afraid to push it through your chest if it means keeping you out of that prison. Understood? Now, step away from the prison.

Thank you.

…I think that concludes our tour. Perhaps it’s best you- oh! Karl is here! Karl Jacobs! Over here!

Yeah. He doesn’t talk ever but he’s still a great guy, you know?

Oi. Wave back. It would be rude not to wave back.

My name? Oh my goodness! I totally forgot to introduce myself! (Though, you never really asked until now anyways…)

It’s okay! I know I talk a lot – it can be difficult to get me to shut up sometimes – ha ha!

My name is Callahan.

[leo-gold-hotchner]

New Rules

Hi, it’s been a while. I was writing the sinner and the i kissed a boy Au, but I nearly sashimi-tised my finger so I couldn’t finish it earlier.

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner X Male Reader

Words: 2.1k

Warning: F words

I Kissed a boy AU!

                                                       -Hotch-

It was your fault, alright. You didn’t delete your ex’s phone number from your phone. But you keep reminded yourself that it was better this way because you didn’t answer the call. If you did delete the number, you would’ve answered the call and who knows what he’d say to you. Your ex has been calling you several times during your day shift including your breaks, receiving curious and amusing looks from your colleagues. 

“Either block the number or answer it,” your colleague, June raised her brows while driving. 

“Damn it, sorry,” you mumbled an apology as you turned off the sound. That was a third call from your ex while you were with June. 

“You know, Ben told me you’ve been getting calls.” That big mouth Ben, you inwardly growled at one of your colleagues. Ben was a good guy, but he was a blabber mouth. The ambulance slowly halted as the light turned to red. “It’s your ex, isn’t it?” She asked knowingly, she was one of the people who knew about how bad your relationship had been with your ex.

“Yeah, I don’t know why he’s calling. It’s been some time we broke up.” To be honest, you forgot how long it had been when you were with your ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t a good relationship, and he was a violent guy. You weren’t sure what you saw in him back then. An ill-tempered sanguine man, he was. Having a relationship with Aaron made the former bad relationship forgettable. 

“Just don’t answer and delete the number. No, block it.” June rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you’re dragging this staff.” 

“What if something happened?” You mumbled, he might be in a trouble and might be asking for your help. 

“So?” June looked at you incredulously before turning her face to front again. “He’s neither your boyfriend nor friend. You’re not a police officer or anything, you don’t have to help him. You already have that Aaron guy as your boyfriend, don’t think about others.” 

You just stared outside. One by one, the cars were turning their light on as the Sun dropped to the horizon. 

“You listening to me?” She narrowed her eyes as you didn’t seem to hear her. “F/N!” June yelled out your name. 

You dropped your phone from start. “Shit!” You bend your waist to pick up the phone. “What the hell, Matsumoto!” But you couldn’t reach your phone as it went under the seat. “You’ve done it, thanks.” You said drily, giving up getting your phone. 

“Well, you didn’t answer me,” she snorted. “You can get the phone out when we arrive.” 

“Thank me for muting it, or else we would’ve traumatised by my ringtone.” 

                                                       -Hotch-

You wanted to be alone but didn’t want to be in a quiet place after your shift. Your colleagues invited you for a booze, but you refused tonight. You will have your own booze, but just with yourself. With the calls, you didn’t want to bother Aaron with your depressed feelings. While walking along the street you found a boisterous bar. You peeked the inside if there was a party going on, but the noise was just from patrons talking and music. You went inside a dim lighted bar and found yourself a stool in the corner. 

It wasn’t that busy so the bartender came to you as soon as he saw you sitting on the tall stool. “Hey, do you need something?” The bartender casually asked with a friendly smile.

“Yeah.” You mindlessly nodded and ordered your drink and something to eat. 

Hopefully the food will be alright. He said something but his voice was buried by some patron’s yelling, and he yelled at the patron ‘hey, no fighting in here’, then he left to the kitchen for the order. With narrowed eyes, you put your phone on the bench which was still silently ringing. Can’t he just give up already? He was getting on your nerves and you glared at your poor phone. 

                                                       -Hotch-

The bartender looked at the last patron of the bar. The guy who went in and ordered his drinks several times. And he was sure the guy was drunk as a sailor. 

“Hey, pal, you need to go home now.” Sean looked down at the guy who was tapping his phone with his finger. 

“He migh’ be there, waitin’ for me.” The drunk guy mumbled miserably. It was hard to decipher as he was slurring too much. 

“You have friends? Family, I can call?” He sighed. “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on, but I have to close the bar and go home. You can’t stay here.” 

“Righ’,” he rolled the ‘r’. The guy pulled out his dark wallet and fumbled out his card. “My ex’s keep callin’ me, I don wanna go back.” Despite his slurred speech, Sean could understand most of the part. 

“Yeah, don’t answer your ex. Ex is ex, it’s just another stranger to you now.” Sean asserted, and the guy pouted at him. He just shrugged at the drunk guy. 

Suddenly the guy’s demeanour changed. “Check, please!” He grinned at Sean who shook his head a little. 

When Sean returned to him, unfortunately he passed out. “Sometimes I hate this job,” he swore under his breath. Sean tried to wake the patron, but it was futile. “Ah, fuck.” 

He couldn’t call a cab now. His eyes went to the drunk’s phone and hoped it wasn’t locked. It wasn’t locked and he was relieved at that. He could just find someone to call and he just froze at the contact the patron had. 

“What the?” 

Sean dumbly stared at his brother’s smiling photo. He couldn’t remember when his brother smiled like that, and this guy had a photo of Aaron smiling. Which was a rarest thing in the world. Moreover, Aaron’s contact was on the favourite list with a pink heart next to his name. He was sure his face was making a ‘puking’ face. Urg, his brother smiling like that made him goose bumps. At least it wasn’t towards Sean. Anyway, if his contact was on the favourite list -with a scary pink heart- they must be close, right? Like close, close. Sean shook his head roughly, definitely not thinking his brother that way. 

When he called his brother’s deep voice answered, though with affection. Sean shivered, nearly dropping the phone. 

                                                       -Hotch-

Aaron was happy you called. It was rare for you to call him this late. With a smile Aaron answered your call, but there was no reply. “F/N?” He furrowed his brows, a train of thoughts quickly rushing in his brain. 

“Aaron.” Aaron blinked. This voice was familiar, and he never imagined he’d hear this voice from your phone. “Hey, it’s Sean.” His brother said in a quiet voice. 

“I know.” He could only managed to say that. 

 “This guy, is he your…?” 

“If you’re looking for a word ‘boyfriend’, he is.” Aaron knew he said it rather defensively, but he wasn’t about to hear any stupid comments from his younger brother. 

“Well, this is quite a first impression for both of us.” Sean tried to ease Aaron’s stiffness. “I have nothing against gay, don’t worry.” 

“Why do you have F/N’s phone?” Aaron asked impatiently. He was already dressing up from his pyjamas to go out. 

“He’s drunk. You need to pick him up.” 

                                                       -Hotch-

Firstly, he stared at his brother, who seemed to be working at the bar. Secondly, he saw you all drunk, sleeping on the stool. You were the last customer and Sean was shrugging at Aaron. 

“I thought you wanted to cook?” Aaron raised his brows, remembering a little quarrel from several years ago. 

“Well, I still need to work more.” Sean shoved his hands into his pockets. “Don’t analyse me, Aaron.” He squinted his eyes towards at his older brother. 

“Fine, I’ll not ask for now.” Aaron huffed. Sure, his little brother was an adult, but he will always worry Aaron. “You could’ve told me you were in the town, however.” He snapped at the younger man. 

It’s been years he actually saw Sean face-to-face. Aaron understood Sean being busy when he didn’t attend Haley’s funeral, but he actually wanted his brother to be there for him. 

“Hey, sorry, I was really busy. I would’ve called you sooner.” Sean held his hands up, for once admitting what he has done had hurt Aaron. 

The brothers stared at each other for a minute and Aaron’s attention turned to you. “Hey, F/N,” Aaron called you softly, but you were deeply in your dream. 

“He’s not waking up, you’ll need to carry him.” But Sean looked rather doubtful at his brother carrying you in a drunken state. “He already paid.” He added as soon as he saw Aaron taking out his wallet. Sean then whistled lowly as Aaron easily held you into his strong arms. “Bridal carry, does it mean he’s gonna be your wife?” 

“Sean!” Aaron glared at his younger brother. Sean apologised but Aaron knew his brother didn’t mean one bit. 

“I’m really sorry I didn’t call you. But I recently found this job after your birthday.” Sean scratched his head. “You can introduce him,” he nodded towards you, “when we see next time.” 

“Hopefully soon.” 

“Yeah, man. And tell Jack Uncle Sean said ‘hi’ Oh, by the way, he’s ex’s been calling him a lot apparently. You should do something about it.” 

                                                       -Hotch-

Your head hurt. A lot. You shouldn’t have had so many drinks last night. But you did anyway and now you’re having the consequence. Bugger. Right now, you needed water. Without looking around, you headed out to get water. You could smell something delicious, but you ignored your grumbling stomach for now. Before you could reach the refrigerator, someone handed a cup of ice-cold water to you. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled as you swallowed the cold water whole. 

“Feel alright?” 

“Nah ah.” Then you spat your water in a comical way and stared at Aaron. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I thought this was my home,” Aaron said plainly as he grabbed a rag to clean the water. 

Grabbing your throbbing head inwardly, you quickly looked around your surroundings. Especially several child’s drawings on the refrigerator caught your eyes. Jack’s drawings were attached proudly on the metallic surface, and one of them was Henry’s birthday drawing for Aaron. 

“Sean called me, and I brought you here.” 

You sat on the stool, your hands on the bench looking at your boyfriend. “Sean?” 

“The bartender. He’s my brother.” If water was in your mouth, you would’ve spat it again. This time Aaron laughed at your face. “I didn’t know he was working as a bartender there. Bet he was shocked when he saw my picture on your phone.” Your first impression to your boyfriend’s brother became drunken you. Fuck. You could feel your face going hot with heat. “Don’t worry about it. Sean’s another topic for now. You’ve been getting calls from your ex, I hear?” He casually turned and moved fried eggs from the pan to a white plate. 

“I, what? How?” 

He devilishly smiled at your grumbling stomach. “I will set some rules for you, F/N. You can eat after if you agree my rules.” 

You looked at Aaron and the food back and forth. Aaron wouldn’t do anything to harm you or do something bad, unlike your ex. You trusted Aaron. “Okay…?” You agreed hastily. 

“Now, block the number. Don’t answer him.” Aaron put the plate in front of you. 

“I’ve heard that a couple times last night already.” 

“Well, they did give you a good advice then.” He moved back to get a fork for you. “And if he comes to your home, call me and don’t ever let him enter your house.” He placed the fork on the plate and grabbed your chin lightly. “Finally, don’t be his friend.” 

“Aaron...” 

“I don’t profile my family or friends, but it comes to natural for me. I can’t stop myself from picking a hint or two. He’s not worth it and forget about him. I can’t be there for you all the time, but I’ll protect you with my life. I won’t let you get hurt because of some guy.” 

You shook your head, huffing out a little laughter. “You sound like jealous.” 

“Wouldn’t I be when I heard your ex’s been calling you and you couldn’t block the number and became drunk?” 

“I don’t intend to run away from you.” 

He cupped your face and kissed you, his tongue gently sweeping over your wet lips from the water. He pulled away with a satisfied smile. “Good.”

[aion-rsa]

The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’

https://ift.tt/33I5zd9

“Anchors, rigging, shackles,” lists Katy Wix down the phone, “poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind…” The comedian and writer has had a productive year. Filming wrapped on Ghosts series two just as UK lockdown began. Since then, she’s finished one book – Delicacy: A Memoir – due out next April, is pitching another, writing a TV show, and thanks to a new-found obsession with Netflix yacht-based reality show Below Deck, has also managed to acquire an enviable grasp of nautical terminology. 

Wix is an established UK comic actor, with credits across the board, starting with cult hit Time Trumpet and going mainstream as witless, lovable Daisy in BBC mega-sitcom Not Going Out. She’s currently part of Channel 4’s Stath Lets Flats, the hottest comedy around, fresh from multiple Bafta wins. She plays Fergie in royal satire The Windsors, and was among the comedian-contestants in series nine of Taskmaster. In BBC One sitcom Ghosts, Wix plays Mary, a 17th century yokel burned as a witch and now part of the motley group haunting a modern-day stately home. Mary’s distinctive west country accent “just came out”, says Wix. “It’s an insult really, because I can’t claim to do that accent well. It’s sort of a stock noise. The more I do it, the more I think it sounds like Nanny from Count Duckula. Ducky!”

Ghosts series two, which lands as a boxset on BBC iPlayer on Monday September 21st , will give fans more about Mary’s background, says Wix. “I think people will really love it, and then there’ll be another series next year, depending on the big C. Not cancer. The other big C.”

From superyachts to Alan Partridge, The Day Today to Ghostwatch, Anna from This Life to formative sexual fantasies about prehistoric apes… here’s the Katy Wix Teleprompter interview.

Your parents were quite arty, working in dance companies and the theatre. Did your childhood allow for much TV watching?

Oh my god, yes! My routine was: come home from school, watch the tail-end of Fifteen to One, and when I was really young, repeats of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Then it would be The Broom Cupboard, something like Round the Twist, then the sound of the Six O’Clock News and turning over to The Simpsons. I still do it now, if I’m at home and it’s five to six, I’m going to watch The Simpsons, it’s a tradition.

Welsh telly was slightly different to the rest of the country. We have S4C rather than Channel 4. I remember going through the TV listings and seeing what was on normal Channel 4, like The Word, then I’d look at Welsh Channel 4 and it would just be something boring in Welsh at the same time.

Was there a TV show that inspired you to start acting and comedy?

The one I remember the most is Abigail’s Party. Seeing Alison Steadman’s performance made me want to do character acting. It was just a phenomenal, convincing, detailed performance. Years later, I wrote a radio sitcom that she was in. It was one of those absurd moments where you just have to leave your body and look down on yourself to be able to handle it. 

That must happen a lot, you’ve been part of a lot of great comedy casts…

What got me into comedy was Brass Eye and The Day Today. When I was about 15, that’s what changed my brain. It was the first time I’d seen adults being silly and coming up with absurd situations that were my sense of humour. Before that, comedy on TV would always feel like just something your parents would watch but this really felt like it was for us, for me and my friends. It was the same with The Office.

And then you were in This Time with Alan Partridge with Steve Coogan last year.

I was in sixth form when Knowing Me, Knowing You came out and I had it on VHS. Watching people like Rebecca Front and Doon Mackichan… anytime Alan had a guest on the sofa, the level of detail and all the reactions and the tiny little social awkward moments, that made me think I want to do that type of performing. So then, when I got to be in the last Partridge, it was mad. It was phenomenal to be that near to the character and all his tiny micro-expressions. Even the colour of his socks – this weird salmon pink – that was so perfect. Tim [Key] was there as well and we’re old pals, so that made it feel more like, well if Tim can deal with it. But I think even Tim now says he still has times where he has to go into the loo and give himself a moment.

Who or what was your first TV love?

This will sound like a joke, but I swear to God it’s true. It was a running joke in our family that my first crush when I was about four, was King Kong [laughs]. My mum used to tease me about it all the time. It was the combination of brute strength and these massive, soulful, pained eyes – which I still look for in men – that absolutely got me. It was an erotic connection for me. When I look back on it in a Freudian way, it feels like a really obvious, very heterosexual image for a little girl to have, because I wanted to be that woman in the nightie in his massive hairy hand. 

Unusual, yes, but then a lot of people our age cite the fox in the Robin Hood Disney film as their first screen crush.

I do get that. I do get that. What was it about that fox?

He’s rakish. And politically, he was sound too – rob from the rich, give to the poor.

You’re right. And he was really confident too. 

Growing up, which TV character did you idolise?

There are two, a younger one and a slightly later one. When I was 11 or 12, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would draw outfits all the time in my school books and I had the Usborne Book of Fashion Design and spend hours on it. So I wanted to be Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air because she just had incredible fashion. She always got boys and she was really cool and confident and wore amazing clothes. She was everything I wanted to be.

Then a little bit later, maybe sixth form or in my early 20s. I wanted to be Anna from This Life, so much and I kind of still do. Because she was tall and really cool and had dark hair and a lot of attitude and wore black a lot and smoked a lot and didn’t give a shit. That was my vibe at university. 

Is there a TV character you’d like to be now? 

Probably still Anna? 

Which TV show gave you nightmares?

The massive one for me, when I was about 11 or 12: Ghostwatch. I went to a friend’s house to watch it and I remember being a bit like ‘yeah right’ watching it, and then when I got home that night, I just cried. I was in the bath, hysterical and my mum had to come in and calm me down. It was horrendous. 

Everyone totally swallowed it at the time, because we were less TV-savvy in 1992. I remember they had a phone-in and someone called in to say ‘There’s a shape in the curtains’, which really fucked me up. The whole Pipes thing. I remember being in my bedroom and seeing a shape of an old man in the curtain all the time. I’ve got really vague memories of Craig Charles being in a park, saying that someone had killed a Labrador. I was thinking about watching it again. I actually don’t know if I dare. 

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When did you last cry watching television?

Last night. Have you ever seen the show Below Deck? I’m obsessed with it. I’m not massively into reality TV but it’s an American reality show all filmed on superyachts that rich people charter. It’s almost like a perfect sitcom family – you have a different captain every time and the deckhands and then the interior, who do the hotel stuff, and then you have the chef, who’s always a temperamental big personality and then each episode has a different group of insanely rich, usually quite horrible, sexist people with loads of money who get really drunk, that’s the premise. It’s non-stop drama. You’re just watching people fall off boats and have arguments. 

How did it make you cry?

In this episode, there was a girl who’d been really quiet and grumpy and everyone was slagging her off, and then she revealed that she’d got a text that morning saying her estranged father had died, so that’s what set me off. It’s got me through lockdown, it’s so addictive. 

When did you last laugh out loud watching television?

Below Deck, same episode!

All human life is there!

I think it was someone’s malapropism, that’s my favourite thing about reality TV, the way people talk in a kind of Stath-like way and get it wrong.

What was the last TV show you recommended to a friend? 

Below Deck! [Laughs] I’ve just got Lolly [Adefope] onto it, and Adam Drake – he’s a comedian in a sketch show called Goose and does Capital, a podcast with Liam Williams – he’s now devoted. One of my best mates was bemoaning that her boyfriend’s not into reality TV, but boys can watch Below Deck too. It’s got loads of boat stuff in it. Chains and anchors. I’m learning all these terms, like shackles, poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind… That’s where the expression ‘in my wheelhouse’ comes from. Three sheets to the wind means you’re sailing off course. 

Which TV show would you bring back from the dead?

Changing Rooms. 

Good call.

I also loved The Late Review. I really loved that.

What’s a TV show you wish more people would watch?

Do you know Iyanla Vanzant? She started off on The Oprah Winfrey Show – I love Oprah so much – and she’s a TV therapist/healer/spiritual. She’s got a show you can only get on American TV called Iyanla: Fix My Life. She just speaks so much wisdom. She spends a week with people who are really traumatised and it’s their healing journey. It’s so moving, it’s so profound. She’s doing incredible work for the human race.

She did an amazing show called, I think, ‘The Myth of the Angry Black Woman’ with a house full of women of colour who all got to talk about this trope that they were angry and how they felt unable to speak without being silenced. She did a show that was rehabilitating people that had come out of prison and women that had been sex workers all their loves, just amazing. 

Which current TV show do you never miss an episode of?

In lockdown, what kept me going was I May Destroy you, obviously, Below Deck, obviously. I also became obsessed with the Japanese Big Brother Terrace House, but it just got pulled because there was a suicide. It was so, so awful. I read an article saying the producers didn’t behave well, so I feel like I can’t like it any more. I love Succession too. I started watching this show on Netflix called Intervention and got totally obsessed with it. Again, it’s maybe ethically a bit dubious. It’s American, obviously, and they’ll film an addict who’s in a really desperate state and then the family kind of trick them, or persuade them to go into a room and then the intervention therapist is there and they’re like ‘Guess what, you’re going to rehab now!’ Anything that’s got human suffering, and then a redemption story in it, I’ll watch. 

Given the power, which TV show would you commission?

I think about this a lot – what if I had a channel? I’d commission the sketch group Sheeps to make tons of series. That’s Liam Williams, Al Roberts and Daran Johnson, and so far they’ve only done live shows, but I would commission them for hours of TV. Colin Hoult doing his character Anna Mann, I’d commission hours of that. Everyone involved in Stath Lets Flats, I’d just say ‘Turn up, pitch and we’ll make it’. There’s a documentary from the 70s that I adore, that I would like to show again, which is John Berger’s Ways of Seeing. It’s one of the most beautiful, gentle documentaries. I feel like that should be on TV. And just whatever Gemma Collins is doing, commission that. 

Also, you know in the 90s, late at night you’d get some weird, bizarre performance art happening on BBC Two? I miss that. The sort of stuff that was on after The Word. And then finally, maybe just all of Peep Show again? 

What’s the most fun you’ve had making television?

Ghosts is where I probably laugh the most because of Lolly [Adefope]. We make each other laugh all the time. When me and Anna [Crilly] did our sketch show on Channel 4, it was incredible. It was stressful but exciting. It was such a nice atmosphere to be with all these gorgeous people that you find funny. 

Stath Lets Flats is like that, because we’re all genuine mates. When people take comedy so seriously I really love it. I love that attention to detail. Jamie [Demetriou] and everyone involved really cares. There’s no ‘that’ll do’ attitude, everyone wants it to be the best it can be. Why not treat comedy as a science that you have to absolutely get right?

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Ghosts series two starts on Monday the 21st of September on BBC One at 8.30pm. All six episodes will be available to stream on BBC iPlayer from then. 

Delicacy: A Memoir by Katy Wix, published by Headline, is available to pre-order now.

The post The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[birdsthatsingaftermidnight]

"Indian Ocean, Present Day 1986"

That's right!  We're watching Top Gun! And we still think we're hilarious!

What on earth is he doing with a polaroid camera in the cockpit?!

"Do I have permission to engage?" "Negative! Do not engage - don't start World War 3 until they start World War 3 first!"

"Goddammit, Maverick! Cougar, MILF, Yummy Mummy, and Oldy But Goldy have all washed out; I'm having to send you two clowns to Top Gun."

"Oh my god! I've seen more incontinence pad adverts in this one break-! What are they saying about watchers of Top Gun?"

"They're really taking the piss!"

Honestly, if a bloke hit on me at the pub and got shot down then followed me into the lady's loos I'd have maced him, kicked him in the balls, and then run away. And then, when I got to work the next day someone would be having to go to sexual harassment training courses if they wanted to stay at Top Gun.

But first, it's time for some homoerotic undertoned, glistening-in-the-sun, muscles-oiled, volleyball. Did I say undertones? I mean tones. Just tones.

Nothing about Maverick points to anything other than a petulant man-child who gets pissy after being told he was wrong by the woman he's interested in who told him NOT FIVE MINUTES AGO that she had a job to do. AND THEN SHE KISSES HIM.

<seething feminist outrage>

"Maverick, it's not your flying, it's your attitude." ICE MAN IS 100% RIGHT!

Alright, so Goose dying is genuinely upsetting. All the more so since one of the stunt pilots, Art Scholl, died when his plane went into a flat spin and hit the Pacific Ocean. His body and aeroplane were never recovered. And now we go back to your regularly scheduled lunacy.

Goose-substitute RIO - yelling at your traumatised pilot is a really poor way of motivating him. Just saying.

Viper: "Maverick, you were going to be assigned a RIO but no-one wants to fly with you so we're just going to prop what's left of Goose up behind you."

Engineer to another Engineer: "I don't know why he's so upset. We washed the blood off the canopy and look - you can hardly see the crack where Goose's skull hit it after we covered it with gaffa tape."

[Later still, in the air]

Maverick: "Okay, okay. I can do this."

Goose (whispering): "You kiiiiiiilled meeee...."

[cuts to other F14]

Wolf Man: Why is Maverick screaming?

[in Maverick's F14]

Goose (sinister dead man whisper): "Fly iiiinto hiiiiim. Ram hiiiim! Iiit's the only waaaay."

[Maverick flies under MiG, panics, pops canopy, and fires Zombie Goose into MiG]

[Cuts to view from MiG cockpit]

MiG Pilot 1 (in Russian): "Why is Boris screaming?"

[Zombie Goose claws at cockpit]

MiG Pilot 2 (in Russian): "Vassily! Show him you're cross!"

MiG Pilot 3, the one with a dead, animated Goose on his cockpit (in Russian): "Get the FUCK off my canopy!"

[MiG pilots are a bit distracted. Baddies are blown up. Maverick somehow hero of the piece. Zombie Goose gets no credit, but can't be found anyway. Ice Man blew him up with the MiG]

Maverick has found closure. He symbolises this by chucking Goose's dog tags into the sea. Instead of, say, giving this incredibly personal and significant thing to, I dunno, Goose's wife or son. Maverick is still a dick.

[Righteous Brothers are giving it their all via Jukebox]

Righteous Brothers: "So baybeeee! BAYYYBEEE! BAYYYBEEEE! Bring it on back! BRING IT ONNN BAACK!"

Charlie, the love interest: "You're back!"

Maverick: "Yep, turns out all it takes to get over accidentally killing your best friend, suffering some sort of trauma related stress, then firing his diabolically reanimated corpse at a MiG is killing some more people."

Charlie, the love interest: "Excellent. Let's go have sex."

Maverick: "Cool."

Righteous Brothers: "Bring back that loving feeling, wooh oh, THAT LOVING FEEEEEEELIIIIING!"

[fade to black. Aeroplanes do cool things. Righteous Brothers continue to wail]