#Points No. 19
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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Doctor Who as tweets/textposts pt.6
<- | DW | ->
#doctor who#the toymaker#8th doctor#jack harkness#9th doctor#rose tyler#4th doctor#donna noble#12th doctor#remind me to do the rant about how 9 idealised Rose's innocence bc he was so traumatised and Father's Day ruined it for him#and he had to accept her as a full and complete person with flaws and faults and capable of terrible things#and yes she does need to be 19 she is literally almost a human child and yes this is pertinent to the love story eccleston said was there#it's literally every guy dating a girl under 25 and suddenly being stunned when her brain switches on properly#that she isn’t a perfect carefree being#9 wanted Rose to be his manic pixie dream girl is my point#I'll bring out the '9's great flaw is naiveté' rant another time
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my martha knight au in a nutshell:
Danny/Martha: see up here?
Danny/Martha: *taps skull*
Danny/Martha: intense psychological damage
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Danny/Martha: *upon finding out she's pregnant*
Danny/Martha: oh my god i cant be a mom, I'm fifteen and homeless--
Danny/Martha: im going to be a terrible mother--
Danny/Martha: i live in a cAR--
Danny/Martha: what if the baby inherits my powers? Oh no--
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Danny/Martha post giving birth: i've only had Bruce for a minute and a half but if anything were to happen to him i won't even need to fuse with Vlad, I'm razing this goddamn planet to the ground myself
Danny, to Baby Bruce: you are the last remaining thread of my sanity. I'm going to give you the world :)
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Danny/Martha prior to getting pregnant: Fuck it, if everything in my life has led to this moment, i'm allowed to make one stupid decision. I'm getting drunk and getting laid
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Danny/Martha while Bruce was a toddler: i swear to fucking god i am going to kill the next person who talks to me--
Bruce: hi mommy!! i brought you something!!!
Danny/Martha, immediately flipping on a dime: hi baby!! what do you have?
Bruce, a weird child like his mother: a spider :)
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Danny/Martha, talking to Falcone after he made an unsavory comment at her and Bruce: If you ever come near me or my son again, I will dig up your shithead father's corpse and make you eat his skin.
Danny/Martha: do you understand me
Falcone:... crystal, ma'am
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Danny/Martha new in Gotham: *getting mugged*
Danny/Martha: *grabs man's arm*
Danny/Martha: I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF LIKE A TWIG, FUCK BOY, DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH--
(she then proceeds to terrorize Gotham's night life for the next extended period of time, mostly unintentionally)
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Danny/Martha: Danny Fenton?? No. you must be mistaken, my name is Martha Knight.
Danny/Martha: this here is my littlest knight, Bruce.
Danny/Martha: I made him all by myself :]
#if martha could become the joker in one timeline if bruce died then she had to have SOMETHIGN going on up there mentally. im all for it#im a 'martha wayne may have been secretly batshit' truther. subscribing to bruciemilf's portrayal of the wayne parents#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#fem danny fenton#female danny fenton#martha knight au#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dp x dc#giving danny fenton psychological issues since 2022 folks#points at marthadanny: she's a hot mess with unprocessed trauma and psychological prblems. she's hanging on by a thread#LISTEN TO AFTER ALL BY CHRISTINE EBERSOLE THAT SUMS UP MARTHADANNY ENTIRELY#bruce your mom is even crazier than you. how is that possible. her trauma has trauma.#marthadanny: i dont wanna talk about my feelings OR my trauma i want to raise my son. go away#martha: who knew that being a child hero without any support would result in deeply rooted psychological issues and paranoia in spades#marthadanny: im fine (<- experienced liar. is not fine. please god someone restrain her before she claws someone's eyes out)#she has eyebags the size of the savanna and wields red lipstick like a weapon. she's going to rob a rich man blind. she has a baby to feed#what would a mother not do for her child? what heights would a mother not climb.#and you're shaken to your soul with an ache that you cant erase. like the tears you never cried but still keep scrubbing off your face.#there's a pain you cant imagine. the little talk that keeps you wide awake that somehow turns to bold determination that you wont ever make#the same mistake. so you've got to feed your little future and ensure her talent poise and charm might just grow up and save you after all#fun fact bruce and danny's birthdays are exactly one week apart. danny is Feb.12 and Bruce is Feb.19. take that as you will :)
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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House M.D. but it's when House says Wilson's name
#house md#gregory house#prince's talk tag#after almost two weeks of going through the transcripts of every episode I finally finish this and the Wilson version#first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes#because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well#ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics#and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other#since this is the house video ill put his stats here#s1 was 19 times s2 was 31 s3 was 34 s4 was 30 s5 was 35 s6 was 58 s7 was 25 and s8 was 28#in total he says his name 260 times. Mostly refers to him just by Wilson#He's only said Wilson's first name 7 times. Once by Jim 3 by Jimmy and 3 by James#He'll use his full name in professional settings or to be sarcastic or to pretend to be him#You know since House is the main character and in every episode of the show i thought he'd say his name more than him#but Wilson beats him by 42 times bc s7 and s8 he doesn't say his name as much. it took Wilson getting cancer for him to say it more#than he was before that point
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If you aren't already: Mask in Public
It's an act of resistance. It's a gesture that says: I not only care about my health, but the health of others. Especially people with immune deficiencies, people with disabilities, children, the elderly, the sick, parents, teachers... the list goes on. You should absolutely engage in more community involvement, and it's an excellent place to start. Also the odds are Trump will install more anti-science people in positions in public health. There'll be more mask bans. Keep masking and re-normalize it. It'll piss 'em off.
#covid 19#Covid isn't over#Flu#disability justice#public health#Nick and I have been masking in public since...#point is we still are in places like grocery stores#public transit#and medical offices#Any public place with close quarters and people we don't know
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ALSO if prisoners could get educated then prisons could run themselves more reliably and function like communities which is conducive to a growing/healing/learning/absolving mindset
#sorry i just have so many opinions on prison abolition thanks to being the child of a prisoner#former prisoner#tho prison basically ruined his life forever and now he's a crazy old man#what did he go to prison for?? a few things but most damning was when we has like 19-22 or something he stole a car to impress a girl#he also lit it on fire which I will admit is worse but#a 19 year old kid (who got kicked out at 16 mind you) just trying to impress a girl and he went to prison for basically his whole 20s#he did uh. he did actually allegedly escape at one point but my aunt turned him back in. snitch#anyway yeah#i was born when he was 34 and like a handful of years if not months out at most#i was an accident rebound baby but then he ended up being a single father lmfao#said it taught him more than prison ever could#if you read all these tags that turned into a rant have a cookie
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Little freak on the brain again
#cricket doodles#creepypasta#jeff the killer#jeffrey woods#That one w/ Liu isn't from either of his actual canons btw it's part of my own version of him#Top image is when he's like 15 and has grown up a tiny bit#I should probably post my 17-19 version of him at some point#my art#not tagging Liu bc he's not rlly the main focus here
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MAYA AND CARINA STATION 19: 7x07 'Give It All'
#station 19#station 19 spoilers#station19edit#carina x maya#carina deluca#maya bishop#mine#well heres ours i guess!#the lighting is absolute ass by the way#but don't worry the straight parts were nice and bright!#and the coloring sucks because their kitchen is ugly and yellow but thats beside the point#i just...have no words#like the kiss??? why did their mouths barely touch...why can't we get a normal kiss in a 10 pm time slot#what is with the editing in the last gif with the fridge part??#i don't understand#we got better quality at 8 pm last season#i'm just so upset...probably won't gif anything else tonight maybe tomorrow#this show really knows how to just suck the life out of you
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damn, this year is a complete win for the bisexuals 🩷💜💙
#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#paul suarez#francesca bridgerton#michaela sterling#911 abc#evan buckley#greys anatomy#monica beltran#amelia shepherd#monmelia#jules millin#station 19#maya bishop#carina deluca#marina#clover totally spies#totally spies#frenchie the boys#the boys#claudia de pointe du lac#claudeleine#interview with the vampire#iwtv#rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#bisexual#pansexual#pride month#lgbtqia
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Guys i cooked again🫡🫡
I should do a 19 days rant again kinda miss those ngl
#I used a reference if you recognize it#we will get to this point on day guys just gotta wait a while😭#19 days#19 days old xian#he tian#he tian fanart#Mo guan Shan#mo guan shan fanart#he tian x mo guan shan#fanart#my art#doodle
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Daniel's third and Max's first shoey at the 2016 Malaysian Grand Prix 🍾
#did not. even. hesitate.#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#maxiel#f1#*#**#malaysian gp 2016#the 3rd gif is just max waiting for daniel to finish pouring yes but he was so so so SO patient and shy and adorable in it (the lip bite 😭)#and then you have daniel sitting there aiming a bottle at his shoe like he'd done it a hundred times before#even tho it was very obvious he didn't even consider giving max a shoey until nico pointed out. bc max was (italicized) max#just. the confidently corrupting a minor when he was so very aware of what he was doing 😵💫😵💫😵💫#(max just turned 19 that weekend)#nobody does age gap like them
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my scrunkly boy.
#twisted wonderland#twst#heartslabyul#ace trappola#HE'S SO CUTE IOLCHDNUISJOKCFNHULISJDVFHNULISJDXHVFGNLSUIXDHVNUDISXKJFV#he's supposed to be like what?? 19-20 aT THIS POINT#MY BOY IS AN ADULT#still scrunkly#THE GRAY EYESHADOW AND HEART#he fits all the make up ARF
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I'm trying to redirect my political thoughts from my fandom escape blog again, but I found something interesting enough that I thought I'd talk a little about it.
Occasionally I choose suffering (looking at the more granular 2024 exit poll breakdowns rather than the summaries that I mostly don't trust much at this point). Anyway, I did find something intriguing, if not particularly surprising, in the CNN exit polls, which were done in Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Wisconsin with a sample size of 22,914 voters.
(I mention the specific states forming the sample because this pretty notably excludes any blue states while including some reliably Republican ones.)
Anyway, most exit polls including CNN's let respondents identify their place on the US political spectrum: conservative, moderate, or liberal (reminder that "liberal" in US usage can be a pejorative for "less leftist than me" but also a shorthand for "radical leftist" but also for "anyone who doesn't seek a cishet white Christian ethnostate", but also can be a more neutral synonym for progressives and/or leftists and is often used that way, as here). So you can look at the election results for each of these ideological factions and what share of the overall sample size they represent.
The interesting thing: this "liberal" category accounted for very similar proportions to 2020 of the overall vote in the sample (24% in 2020, 23% in 2024—a difference well within the margin of error of exit polling). There is no need to explain liberals/leftists staying home in 2024: at least in terms of proportions of the overall electorate, they didn't. Just under 1/4 of voters in 2024 were liberals or leftists, just as in 2020.
Okay, if the most leftwards faction of the US political spectrum actually formed a similar proportion of the electorate, then who did they vote for?
Harris. In CNN's own exit polls from 2020, 89% of this faction voted for Biden, and (surprisingly!) a full 10% voted for Trump. God knows what motivated that 10% Trump share after four years of his hellscape of an administration at the height of COVID, but in any case, that support cratered in 2024. 91% of this group voted for Harris and only 4% for Trump. It's an estimate, but it looks like these very peculiar Trump voters had enough of him in 2024 and around half either voted third party this time or for Harris.
So which faction is Trump's victory coming from? Further consolidation of the far right?
In part, yes! 90% of conservatives voted for Trump in 2024, vs 85% in 2020—likely, some conservatives who voted third party or even for Biden in 2020 came "home" this year. However, conservative turnout was actually a little down in 2024, proportionally speaking: conservatives dropped from 38% of the sample in 2020 to 34% in 2024.
But there's one more major faction in all this: "moderates" or centrists. To be clear, we're talking about the US version of centrism, given that this is a US organization polling US voters about US politicians, not "Bernie would be center-right in Denmark" or whatever. This moderate faction jumped from 38% of the overall sample in 2020 to 42% in 2024, and they swung hard towards Trump, though Harris still won a plurality of them. In 2020, 64% of moderates voted for Biden vs 34% for Trump. In 2024, 57% of them voted for Harris vs 40% for Trump—that is, the Democratic lead among centrists dropped precipitously from +30 to +17.
Tl;dr—ideologically speaking, this data suggests that Trump owes his victory to gains among both right-wing and centrist voters rather than some faction of would-be leftists or progressives apathetically staying home or voting third-party or otherwise deserting Democrats (because they're insufficiently radical or for any other reason).
Oh, and if you're curious as to how this compares to CNN's 2016 exit polls, I also checked those! Harris's 84-point lead among the most leftwards faction is a significant improvement from HRC's 74-point lead in 2016. Trump also got 10% of that group in 2016, as in 2020, so it's this campaign—not Hillary's or Biden's—that managed to eat into whatever the hell is going on with that group.
Harris's +17 with moderates is actually a slight improvement on Hillary's +12 in 2016. Biden's jump to a +30 lead among centrists in 2020 represented either a backlash against Trump from centrists, or Biden's own rapport with that group, or some mysterious issue some of those voters had with both HRC and Harris (I wonder what it could be!!), or some combination thereof. Regardless, there are a lot of actual ideologically centrist voters in the USA and not just would-be leftists who haven't heard the good news of Marx yet. And Trump has an iron grip on the right wing at this point: he beat Hillary with conservatives by +65 in 2016, then beat Biden with an even larger margin of +71, then leapt to a 81-point lead over Harris with right-wing voters this year.
#at some point the usa's left (which includes me! to be clear) is going to have engage with the basic reality#that centrists and conservatives really truly exist and vastly outnumber us and genuinely hold socioeconomic beliefs#that are largely antithetical to our own#voters who listed economic concerns as their top priority voted 80-19 for trump#some /are/ persuadable and others will swing against whoever the incumbent is regardless of policy#but fundamentally they don't agree with us. they really truly think republican policies are good for the economy#we need to stop pretending that we're dealing with different and more psychologically comforting problems than we actually have#maybe it's bc i have to endure a lot of centrist nonsense irl that the way a lot of other progressives talk about them frustrates me#but so many refuse to believe that we're not a silent majority. the flat refusal to leave that fantasyland is exhausting tbh#anghraine babbles#long post#cw politics#us american blogging#election night hell 2024#anghraine rants#mostly for the tags
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Claudia Black as Aeryn Sun in every episode of FARSCAPE
#farscape#aeryn sun#farscape gifs#claudia black#claudia black gifs#aeryn sun gifs#my gifs#when I say making this gifset nearly killed both me and my laptop#a true labour of love#im planning to do one for crichton too#but i need to give my eyes a rest first#please dear god don't let this gifset flop#this took a grand total of 19 and a half hours#nine hours spent selecting and capturing footage#and ten and a half hours actually making the gifs#but i'd do anything for the love of my life#i was contemplating doing an x files one of these for scully and mulder but scully's would be 2 1/2 times longer#and like...i don't have the time or energy for that#but i will do a crichton one at some point
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For @help-i-need-a-cool-username
Sorry it took so long!
MCU Poolverine meets 97' pre-Morpherine?
Scott has a bad day...
“Are they…chittering at each other?”
“Like fucking stressed out cats.”
Sure enough, that was the sound.
“I’m sorry, he usually isn’t so…”
“Feral? Mine is, it’s good for them to let loose once in awhile, keeps the angry muppet faces from happening too often.”
“Yours does it too?,” Morph turned toward their new…friend?...acquaintance?, “so, I’m Morph and the short man doing the impression of a guard dog is Wolverine.”
“Deadpool and the taller man acting like a cat on catnip is my Wolverine! I like how yours is a short King with blue hair.”
“Thank you? Umm, yours is,” currently ripping a car tire off and chucking at his Logan, “destroying Cyclop's car?”
“Yeah, he does that, it makes him feel better.”
The tire went sailing by them as Logan dodged it, rolling out of the way, only to get tackled as soon as he stood up.
“What is going on out here-what happened to my car!?”
Sure enough, Scott was standing at the top of the mansion stairs having just exited, car keys dangling in one hand as he watched the visitor Logan get thrown backwards into it, turn midair to position himself to springboard off the car back towards the other Wolverine. The force of the ricochet pushing the vehicle sideways into the stone fence wall, getting stuck half through it.
“I was gone less then five minutes, I just came back to grab my wallet?!”
“The girls are fighting,” Deadpool ignores the confused look the X-men leader sent his way, and cupped his hands around his covered mouth, “Hey, Peanut, stop playing and come say hi. You’re making us look rude!”, he turned back to Morph, hands now going to his hips, “I’ve swear I’ve taught him manners, though maybe using whiskey as a motivator isn’t the best thing to teach him with.”
Both of the fighting men glanced over at the group, huffing a little before putting back their claws, still giving each other the side eye as they started to walk over.
Scott took a deep breath through his nose, turning toward his team member that wasn’t destroying the yard, “Morph, care to explain.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, the sky opened up and this two fell on top of us and Logan took some real offensive to be squished.”
“Took offensive to them squishing you, you can’t spring back up like I can.”
“Awe, there’s that Wolvie overprotection, a universal trait.”, the red clad hero threw his arm around his partner's shoulders and laying his head against his.
“I will and have thrown you into a mob of gunfire.”, the other Wolverine accepted the touches, even going as far as to look more relaxed.
“Only because you know I like it!”
Morph shared a look with their world’s Logan, the other giving a one shoulder shrug in confusion.
Scott seemed just as confused, “I’m sorry, he throws you into bullets?”
“Worried about little ole me!? Don’t be getting your Superhero panties in a twist, bullets can’t do shit to me, besides I enjoy it. Getting him riled up and being tossed across whole rooms is part of the fun of it.”
“Who are you two? Why are you destroying our stuff?”
“Jeez, Introductions again, fine, I’m Deadpool, again, and this is my Wolverine, again, if it gets too confusing for you to keep up with who is who, well, I like to call him, Peanut, Majesty, Honey Badger, Furiosa, Papi, Mami, Angel Face, Babygirl-“
“If you don’t pick something to call me, he is going to keep going.”
“-my meow meow, homeslice from the deep woods, Jessica-“
“Jessica?”
“Jessica it is!,” the man turned and pressed his covered lips to his partners cheek, giving a dramatic kissing sound, “Muah, the Jessica to my Roger Rabbit, the movie version of course.”
“Jessica”, let out a deep tired sounding sigh, “Just call me James.”
Scott turned toward the destroyed car then back to them, “Jessica.”
The newly dubbed ‘Jessica’ face went from neutral to scowling, Deadpool pinched his cheek, “and there’s the angry muppet face back with full force!”, he caught himself from falling over as he was shrugged off, giggling slightly as he refocused on the three bystanders, “Any who, you and everyone else is probably wondering what the hell is going on, and the truth is-“
“-Dumbass here ass dialed us to the wrong universe.”
Morph watched as Logan seemed to sniff the air, taking a half step toward the other him, who instantly noticed, they themselves ignored the situation that was about to happen and refocused on the man in red, “How do you “ass dial” to the wrong universe?”
“Mostly by failing a split and falling hard on the device in your back pocket, that may or may not be stolen, which takes you, your partner and your kids that were nearby into another universe-oh fuck-we gotta find mini-Wolvie and little Miss Mary.”
“Who?”
“Mine and Jessica’s babygirls! Mini takes right after her Daddy and Mary has my good looks!”
Morph blinked, “You two…together…have kids?”
“The dog is not a our kid!”, the Wolverine’s were circling each other again, more curious then ready to fight again.
“But you agree your mini is both of ours!”
Another slow blink before Morph leaned closer to Deadpool, ignoring Scott heading toward his destroyed car and the other two sniffing each other?, they plastered a big smile on their face, “So kids, partners, cute nicknames, sounds like you two are close.”
“More then just close, but don’t you worry, I’m pretty sure I don’t exist in this world, little off limits apparently, sooo,” the merc pulled the other closer to him, shoulder to shoulder as he directed their attention over to the two Wolverines trying to pull the car out of the fence wall as Scott directed them, “I gotta make sure my boy is taken care of in all worlds, and since I’m not here, that leaves that responsibility to you!”
“Excuse me, why would-“
“-Nope! No excuses with me around, either you get your shit together or I’m going to see if two Logan’s can live together, most likely no, but it will be fun to find out! Like having a full course meal with a little dessert on the side. Someone is going to be overstuffed in the end.”
The car rolled by them sideways, coming to a stop upside, Morph just sighed fondly as Logan waved at them before jumping up on the vehicle, the variant right behind them as they both stared down a fuming Scott, “How can you stay mad at him, look at him, he’s never seen the top of a shelf before.”
“See you get it, I bet you’re his Roger Rabbit too.”
They're side-eye could kill a person, “What does that mean?”
“Simple, you can make him laugh," there was a nonchalant one shoulder shrug, "you've already got a place in his heart with that gesture alone."
“…oh…”
“Look at that face, realization baby, bet his nose scrunches up and he snorts, bet he play fights with you, bet you get drinks together-“
“-please shut up, I’m having a crisis.”
“You’re an X-man…X-person?, whatever, you should be used to crisis, both personal and external by now, so nut up buttercup, we are going to get you your little stinky bear cat."
Deadpool gave them an enthusiastic thumbs up...Morph just sighed in resignation.
#jag is in a mood#wolverine#marvel#fanfic#deadpool#x men#morpherine#poolverine#xmen morph#scott summers#there was going to be a part where Jean find Laura in the kitchen#just chugging down a beer because I think shes 18 and its legal in Canada#okay in some places its 18 other 19#point is Jean asks her what would her parents say about her drinking#Lauras response: That this is shit beer and we have better stuff back home.
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