#Poe I hope I didn't ramble too much | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tlcwrites · 3 years ago

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Fall to Pieces- Part 2

Poe Dameron x Reader, Modern AU

He tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. “I love you, sweetheart.” Your smile was watery and your voice soft. “I love you, Poe.” He tried not to think about how you didn’t mean your words the same way he did his.

Word Count: 5055

Tags/Warnings: Angst. Not as much as in Part 1, but a lot. But lots of fluff, too. And lots of bad language words. Probably a lot of typos, too. It's fucking hard to write past tense when you're used to present tense. If you notice any tense changes, could you pretty please message me because that's my pet peeve and I'm going to have nightmares I missed some.

Author’s Note: It's here! Part 2! I am absolutely bowled over by the response to Part 1; y'all are the fucking best. I have cackled with glee at every single reblog and comment and review, and I cannot possibly verbalize how much it means to me that so many of you are as invested in this crazy little AU as I am. I sincerely hope you enjoy where this is headed. I had to make one small edit to part 1, because I for some reason thought Shara Bey died when Poe was a teenager (canonically he's 8), and I featured her at The Riverside Picnic when Poe and Reader are 12 so, whoops. Whatever at least I didn’t write “somehow, palpatine has returned" in a multi-billion dollar film franchise. My military knowledge is also based on proximity and not experience, and my ANC knowledge even less, so even though I’ve researched as thoroughly as possible, please forgive any glaring factual errors. Thanks as always to my ride-or-die @paper-n-ashes for letting me ramble about plot arcs and for yelling at me when I get too stuck in my head. She's also the one who saved y'all from a brutal section of this chapter but really she didn't because she suggested posting it as a oneshot, and now it's even more brutal, so just remember it's all Sarah's fault. Dividers by @firefly-graphics.

Series Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3

Age 6

There was a moving truck in the driveway of the house next door when he got home from school.

He’d heard his mom mention to his dad that someone had finally bought Mr. Kenobi’s house, which made him sad and happy at the same time. Sad, because he missed Mr. Kenobi, who would come over when Poe needed a babysitter, and who would always play as much Legos as Poe wanted.

But Poe was also happy, because his mom said the new neighbors had kids. And on the day he saw the moving truck, he was even more excited, because he could see a bike sitting next to the garage, and bikes that size meant kids his age. Or at least, he really, really, really hoped so.

He waved to Snap and Miss Norra, who waved back before they continued towards their house down the street, and clambered up the front steps. When he pushed open the door, the aroma of his grandmother’s signature cookies hit him like a wave, evoking memories of weekends spent sitting on the stool in her kitchen and munching on all sorts of deliciousness, as she baked and told him stories of her homeland- and swore in colorful Spanish. He followed the scent down the hallway towards the kitchen, where he dumped his backpack next to the door and stood on his tiptoes to see over the edge of the counter. “Are those Nana Bey’s polvorosas?”

“Hey hey hey, paws off, bud.” Kes was transferring the still-hot cookies from the baking sheet to the cooling rack. “These are for the new neighbors.”

“Just one? Please?” Poe schooled his face into his best feed-me-I’m-starving face, but his dad shook his head.

“Sorry, little man.” He gently bopped his son on the head with one of the oven mitts as he reached to return them to their hook. “But we can make more this weekend, ‘kay?”

No, not okay, Poe thought to himself, and when his dad crossed to the sink to wash the baking sheet, Poe stealthily reached for the cookie nearest him.

Kes didn’t even turn around from the sink. “Don’t even think about it.”

Poe, a mere fingertip away from the powder sugar coated deliciousness, slumped dejectedly. “Why do the neighbors get all the cookies?” he whined. Those were his Nana’s cookies, after all, and he definitely shouldn’t have to share them.

“Because we welcome new neighbors to the neighborhood,” Kes replied, “and in the Dameron house, that means cookies.”

Pouting, Poe dragged his feet over to the kitchen table, flopping heavily into one of the chairs. He was not excited about having new neighbors now.

“Poe!” Shara waved from the front hedge.

Poe glanced up from where he was docking his favorite spaceship in the drainpipe next to the garage (the tube was the perfect size to substitute for an airlock), and saw his parents talking to two grownups on the other side of the low shrubs, one of whom was holding a brown box tied with twine.

The cookie thieves.

Shara was gesturing him over, a look-at-my-beautiful-child-who-is-gonna-lose-the-Xbox-for-the-weekend-if-they-don’t-get-their-butt-over-here-right-now smile firmly in place. With all the hostility a six-year-old can muster, Poe dropped his toys and sulked across the yard, definitely not digging his toes into Kes’s meticulously maintained lawn in protest.

All four grownups smiled at his performance.

Shara affectionately smoothed his curls as he reached his parents. “This is our son, Poe.” She introduced the new neighbors, and he dutifully shook their hands.

“How old are you, Poe?” one of the grownups asked with a kind smile.

He puffed out his chest. “I’m six and two thirds.” He’d double checked the big calendar last week to be sure.

The grownups made that face that meant they thought he was absolutely precious (grownups were so weird), and the one holding the stolen cookies gestured towards their new house. “How perfect is that? We know a six-year-old who I bet would love to be your friend!”

Poe perked up. Please let him like soccer, please let him like soccer...

The same grownup called your name, and Poe couldn’t help the way his nose wrinkled.

Ugh. A girl. Great.

Then you popped up from behind the railing of the porch.

Poe wasn’t sure what emotion suddenly engulfed him; his skin felt too tight, and his mouth had gone dry as chalk. His heart was having a parade inside his chest, beating so loudly that he was sure it was audible from outside his body.

You skipped down the steps, the braids in your hair swinging as you crossed the yard. You pressed yourself against your mom’s hip as she introduced you to the elder Damerons.

“And this is Poe.” Your mom announced him with that kind of voice that meant the grownups knew something the kids didn’t. Poe hated that voice. He didn’t like not knowing things.

But he liked your smile. It radiated joy, even presented as shyly as it was.

He wanted to do whatever would keep you smiling like that.

“Hi,” you chirped. “You wanna play space with me?”

And he realized you were holding the same spaceship he’d just been playing with.

He was nodding before his brain could recognize the movement.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, having a girl for a friend, if she liked spaceships, too.

...maybe she even liked soccer.

Age 11

“I don’t want to.” Poe’s chin was set in that way that meant stubborn defiance. You knew better than to try to change his mind when he got that look.

His dad, however, did not.

“You don’t have a choice,” Kes informed him, shrugging on his jacket and heading towards the garage. “We’re leaving in ten minutes. You both need to be ready then.”

“We’ll be ready.” Smoothly interjecting, you discreetly yanked Poe backwards before he could pop off and land himself in even hotter water. The look he sent your way was one of complete and utter betrayal, but the one you sent back said ‘shut up if you want to walk out of here without being grounded’.

Wisely, he bit his tongue until his dad had left the room. Then, he wheeled on you. “Why didn’t you back me up?!”

“Because it’s not up to me?” You rolled your eyes at his impertinent look. “It’s not, you idiot, and you know it. What am I gonna say? ‘Sorry, Mr. Dameron, Poe and I aren’t going to go visit Miss Shara’s grave with you today, even though it’s her birthday and-’”

“It’s not her birthday,” Poe snapped.

His vehemence made you blink. “Yes, it-”

“You have to be alive to have a birthday.” He pulled his beanie out of his pocket. It was the one you gave him last Christmas. It was orange and black, his favorite colors. It was his favorite hat, because it was from you. He yanked it on his head at the same time he shoved his feet into his boots. “She can’t have a birthday anymore, because she’s dead.”

You have no response to that. What could possibly be said?

Poe sniffed and shoved a fist across his cheek, ignoring the sharp prickling at his waterline. “I hate that he makes us go ‘visit’ her. We’re not visiting her. She’s not there. It’s just a rock on the ground, but he acts like she can hear us and see us. But she can’t, because she’s dead, and we all know she’s dead, and pretending she’s still there doesn’t- it can’t bring her back, and-” His breath started coming in gasps as he desperately tried to hang on to his anger. Anger hurt less. “She- she left me, and she can’t come back, and- and-”

You caught him as he went to his knees, and he curled into you, sobbing his anguish against your neck. He could feel your own tears on his cheek.

“It’s been three years.” His voice cracked. “Why does it still hurt so bad?”

You didn’t answer, because there wasn’t one to give.

Later, at the cemetery, Poe gripped your hand tightly the whole way back to the car. No one needed to know he’d hugged his mother’s gravestone and cried, the same way he would cry on her shoulder as she held him in her arms.

Just because she was gone didn’t mean he didn’t miss her every second of every day.

Age 18

“Oh my god, staaaawp.” You swatted Karé’s hands away from your hair. “It’s fine!”

Poe, sitting on the other side of the kitchen island, smothered his grin.

“You look like you were in a bar fight, please just let me fix that one piece,” Karé bargained, but you ducked away, and took refuge behind Poe.

He held up his hands as you gripped the back of his tux jacket like a shield. “Hey! Innocent bystander!”

Snap guffawed. “Innocent?” He tossed you the ice pack he’d pulled from the freezer. “Instigator, you mean.”

“I did not instigate,” Poe protested as you wrapped a towel around the ice and shoved it towards his face.

“You gave Tritt Opan a deviated septum and a black eye.” Ben’s dry observation was negated by the amusement in his eyes. “Pretty sure that’s considered ‘instigating’.”

“Looked to me like Tritt was- no, you noodle, it doesn’t do anything if you don’t keep it there-” You forced Poe to actually put the ice on his swollen lip before you looked back at Ben. “Looked like Tritt was drunk and accidentally ran into that door.” Your theatrical sigh made Poe smile behind the pack. “It was so sad to watch. Wasn’t it sad, Alex?”

“So sad.” Alexys fluttered her eyelashes up at Ben. “All kinds of sad.”

“And Artemisia of Caria over there?” He asked her, jerking his head towards you. “I suppose it’s a total coincidence that Tritt has a shoe print on his ass that exactly matches the tread of her heels?”

“Total coincidence,” Jessika, perched on the counter, replied with zero hesitation. “Also, kinky.”

“There’s no way it’s her shoe print.” Using your distraction with Poe to her advantage, Karé gave a cry of victory as she finally managed to pin back the last of your errant locks, before laughing as you flapped your hands to shoo her away. “You know, since she was obviously with us in the bathroom,” she continued, “and therefore couldn’t possibly have booted that prick into the vending machine.” “Really, since we’re girls and therefore incapable of using the toilet alone-” Jessika snorted as she watched you shove the ice pack back against Poe’s face and ignored his muffled “ow?!’, “Our alibis are airtight, and clearly none of us could have been involved in showing that dipshit why he doesn’t mess with Black Squadron.”

“Amen to that.” Snap dropped into the chair next to Karé.

Alexys looked up at her boyfriend. “You know that anyone who doesn’t know it’s the name of the soccer team is going to think y’all are in a gang or something, right?” “It’s intentional.” Ben tucked her closer against his side and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “You don’t actually need to carry the biggest stick if everyone thinks you’re carrying the biggest stick.”

“Furthermore-” Karé brandished her Twizzler like said biggest stick. “-even if anyone in this room had, say, kicked that fucker’s ass-”

“Literally,” Snap added, and exchanged a long distance high five with you. “-and then if anyone else had punched that fucker into next week-”

“Hypothetically?” Ben inquired drolly, and Poe raised his ice pack in salute.

Karé tipped her metaphorical hat to him. “Of course; even then, they wouldn’t be at fault, because-”

“-because that little shit has been cruisin for a bruisin since freshman year when he snapped Pammich’s bra strap so hard it broke,” you muttered under your breath, and Poe had to resist the urge to reach for your hand.

“Because,” Karé repeated at a slightly higher volume, “we all saw him swing at Poe first, and Poe can’t possibly be considered at fault for defending himself.” After a moment to absorb Karé’s reasoning, Poe himself cheekily piped, “Wait, how’d you all see him come at me if you were in the bathroom?”

A collective groan went up as he laughed, and you lovingly smacked him upside the head on behalf of the group. “Some prom, right?” Snap quipped at Ben.

As your friends relaxed into the friendly banter that was the hallmark of the close-knit group, you sat next to Poe and used examining his injuries as cover. “You’re not going to tell Ben what Tritt said, right?” you murmured so low there was no chance anyone but Poe could have heard you. “You know he’d do something stupid.”

“Of course I won’t.” Poe Dameron was many things, but fiercely protective of his friends was at the top of that list. He would defend any of them to the teeth, Ben especially. No one deserved to go through what Ben had gone through. Ben never needed to hear the bile Tritt had spewed about Ben’s grandfather, Ben's uncle, and Ben’s mother. The smears against the Senator were stupid at best and easily-disproven at worst, and who cared about Pastor Skywalker, but the insinuation that Ben was anything like his grandfather, especially given the abuse Ben had suffered…

If you hadn’t sent Tritt flying with that kick, Poe might have gone a lot further than a broken nose and a black eye. Thank goodness the two of you had been the only ones to hear the insults, or the entire team would have ended up suspended.

No one got to hurt their Ben and get away with it.

Snap’s voice jerked Poe out of his ruminations. “Okay, I can't take it anymore. We’ve gone all night; is no one gonna ask the question?” He pointed at you. “C’mon Miss Hey-Poe-Let’s-Go-To-Prom-As-Friends. When are you and you-” he clapped Poe’s shoulder, “-gonna finally admit that this “we’re just best friends” crap is 100%, grade-A bullshit?”

Poe’s heart leapt in his chest, but you didn’t notice, and instead pelted Snap with pieces of popcorn. “Never, you dingus, because we are just best friends.”

The split in his lip throbbed as Poe forced himself to echo your grin. “Yep,” he said, “just best friends.”

Age 21

“Salmeterol is long acting, albuterol is short acting.” You tossed the beanbag back to Poe.

He deftly caught it and flipped to the next card. “Actions, use, serious side effects and specific nursing measures for administration of ondansetron.”

He lobbed the beanbag back to you.

“It’s.. fuck.” You dropped your head onto the counter. “I’m going to fail.”

“You’re not going to fail.” Poe snagged your last fry, then shielded himself when you threw a napkin at him in retaliation. “You jump, I jump, remember?”

You snorted in response. “I am never letting you watch that movie again.”

“I’ll never let go,” he crooned, before yelping as you threw the beanbag that time. “Escalating violence! It’s a pattern!”

“I have no idea why I tolerate you.” Your words might have been harsh, but the doting smile on your face clearly negated them.

He had no idea either, but fuck, he didn’t know what he’d do if you didn’t.

What he said was “Because of my roguish charm. And my cute butt.”

That won the laugh he was going for.

As she walked past with another order, Patty smoothly slid another basket of fries between the two of you, winking conspiratorially. “My contribution to the study efforts.”

“You’re the best, Miss Patty,” you praised her, while Poe shoved a handful into his mouth.

“Okay,” he announced around his mouthful of fries, tossing the beanbag back to you, “The actions, use, serious side effects and specific nursing measures for administration of ondansetron.”

Your anxious sigh had him looking back up, frowning as he watched you shift the beanbag unconsciously between your fists.

“Hey.” He swallowed the last of the fries, and stilled your motion by covering your hands with his. “It’s gonna be okay, alright? I’ve got you.”

Uncharacteristically, at least with him, your smile was shy. It took him back to that first time he’d seen you, half-hiding behind your mother’s leg. “Always?”

“Always.” It’s a vow he’d die before breaking.

Age 23

He hated seeing you like this. You were clearly trying not to cry, putting on a brave face that likely fooled everyone but him. Other than the several weeks he was at BLC, it was going to be the first significant stretch of time the two of you had ever spent apart.

He watched you over his dad’s shoulder as Kes hugged him tightly, giving his dad the signature Poe Dameron cocky grin as they separated. “Love you, Pop.”

“Love you, Poe.” Kes affectionately squeezed his son’s shoulders before he let go. “Be safe.”

Poe nodded. “Mom would kick my ass if I wasn’t.”

Kes chuckled. “She would.” He nodded to himself, before gently tapping the “Dameron” printed on the right side of Poe’s fatigues. “She’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“I promise not to piss her off.”

“See that you don’t,” Kes agreed with a genuine laugh, trailing off as he looked somewhere beyond Poe’s shoulder. “She’s proud of you, wherever she is. Just like I am.”

Fuck. Poe felt the hot rise of tears as his dad clapped him on the shoulder, stepping back and murmuring something about getting the car.

As his dad headed towards the exit, Poe surreptitiously wiped at his eyes, feeling you slide your hand into his. “Sorry.”

“For what?” You smiled, even though it was clearly forced. “God forbid you have emotions the day you’re-” You tried again. “When-”

Your face crumpled before you stepped into the protective circle of Poe’s arms, fisting the front of his jacket as you wept silently against his shoulder. He dropped his head to yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck and breathing you in as deep as he could, so he could carry you with him to the desert in his lungs as well as his heart.

You both had red-rimmed eyes when you finally stepped away. He tried to ignore the racing of his heart when you didn't drop his hand.

"Ben's flying out tomorrow?" you asked.

Poe nodded, drinking you in. It wasn't like he didn't know every freckle, but if this was the last time he was going to see you, possibly- he shut his thoughts down. "Yeah, he'll-" He broke off and frowned. "I can't tell you anymore."

"I know," you reassured him. "It's okay."

Neither of you made any motion to go, even as the CO started calling the troops to attention.

“You stay safe, or I’m coming over there to kick your ass,” you told him, gripping his hand as if you held on hard enough you could keep him from getting on the plane.

God, he didn’t want to get on the plane. “I know you would,” he teased. “And I promise you won’t have to.” Standing in the middle of that airport, your cheeks wet with tears, he knew he had never and would never see anyone or anything as beautiful to him as you. He attempted and failed to swallow the lump in his throat. “I love you, sweetheart.”

Your smile was watery and your voice soft. “I love you, Poe.”

He tried not to think about how you didn’t mean your words the same way he did his.

Age 26

Fuck. He was so, so fucking glad to be home.

Stepping off the escalator, Poe looked around the mele. The terminal was filled with loved ones reuniting, and the joy in the air walked hand in hand with the relief of being afforded such a reunion instead of a visit from an officer and a chaplain.

Poe craned his neck to try to find his dad in the midst of the chaos, but before he could spot him, he heard his name cried by a voice he’d know no matter if he was gone three years or three decades.

“Poe!”

He had half a second to drop his bag before you leapt into his arms, a warm, crying missile of emotion that made him grunt with the force of your impact, and made his heart spring back to life in his chest. Just as you had when he’d left, you cried against his shoulder, but this time, the tears were of joy. And as you held on to him like he’d vanish if you let go, he couldn’t help squeezing you back with just as much ferocious love and relief and the purest fucking happiness he could remember feeling in a long, long time.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me today was when you were coming back?” you scolded with your face still buried against his neck. The disparity of your clinging to him like a koala with the hurt and anger in your voice would have been alarming in anyone else. But you hadn’t been apart long enough for Poe to have forgotten how well you could ‘multitask your feelings’, as you’d once described. “I had to hear it from your dad?!”

“I wasn’t sure I’d be on this flight,” he replied casually, reminding himself of the scent of your hair with as subtle of a breath as he could manage. Then he yanked himself back to reality and wrestled his feelings back under control with the same determination that he always had. But his contrition was sincere. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“S’okay.” You raised your head to give him a watery smile. “But don’t you do it again, Lieutenant Dameron.”

Fuck, your smile. He’d lost count of how many times he’d imagined that smile over there, when the days seemed endless and he couldn’t remember why the fuck he’d signed up to be flung half a world away from you.

“Never, ever again,” he promised. He went to set you back on your feet, and grinned when you refused to let go. Like he’d ever turn down physical contact with you. “Challenge accepted.”

Your shriek when he hefted you higher, and the ensuing epithets heaped on his head as he strode out of the terminal with his duffle over one shoulder and you over the older, would be something he’d treasure until the day he died, he was sure of it.

Age 28

“Did you see?” Rey dropped into the chair across to Poe, grabbing the muffin from the napkin in front of him and taking a huge, chomping bite.

Poe blinked at her over the edge of his book. “Good morning, Rey. Please, help yourself to my breakfast. Would you like some of my coffee to go with waitaminute nonono paws off!” He snatched the peppermint mocha away when she nodded and went to grab it. “Thou shalt not steal the blessed bean juice! And did I see what?”

“Who, ” Finn supplied, heading to the break room coffee maker for some blessed bean juice of his own. “There’s a new anesthesiologist in L&D. Alex sent Ben a picture.”

“He is fiiine,” Rey sang, in between polishing off the rest of Poe’s muffin.

Finn gave her A Look over the rim of his mug. “You are married.”

“So? I’m not dead.” She winked at Poe. “And Jannah thinks he’s hot, too. Spousal cosign.”

“When did Alex meet him?” Poe asked, unsure why there was a pit growing in his stomach.

Rey was tapping on her phone. “C-section yesterday. Here-” she slid the device across the table top towards Poe. “Holdo sure moved fast getting someone in here after Dr. Antilles retired.”

Finn and Rey continued to talk over his head about the new doctor (first in his class at Johns Hopkins, residency at Mass General, 12 years at Stanford, possible inventor of sliced bread, jury was still out), but Poe was trying not to bite through his cheek as he examined the picture. Alex had clearly snapped it covertly, so it was the slightest bit blurry, but it was clear enough to see the new doctor was as handsome as Rey claimed. Poe was secure enough in his sexuality to be able to admit it. But what had his stomach in knots was that in the picture, the doctor- Yeager, Rey supplied- was leaning against the counter of the L&D nursing station, talking to you.

And you were smiling up at him in a way that you’d only ever smiled at Poe.

Age 30

“Is it okay if we do the farmer’s market on Sunday instead of Saturday?” you asked, stealing the cherry from the top of Poe’s milkshake.

“Excuse you! I’m confiscating your pie for that,” Poe mockingly admonished, stabbing his fork into your dessert as you laughed and tried to shield the plate. “But yeah, that’s fine. Why?” he asked around a mouthful of apple and cinnamon. “Your mom coming down?”

You shook your head as you swallowed a bite. “No, Jarek asked me to go with him to the Chihuly exhibit at the Gardner.”

Poe nearly dented his fork with how hard he clenched his fist. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” You were reaching for your water, and thankfully missed his reaction. “He said he was supposed to go with a friend who had to cancel, and he’d heard I love Chihuly.” Poe resolved to cheerfully murder whomever had been the one to impart that particular tidbit.

Oblivious to his irritation, you waved at Miss Patty as she came out of the kitchen before turning back to Poe. “Anyway, you know he lost his family years ago, right?”

Grinding his molars, Poe managed to nod. Everyone knew about the accident that had claimed the life of Dr Yeager’s family. Poe honestly felt for the guy; he couldn’t even make himself imagine what it would be like if he lost you. But the tragedy had somehow added to Yeager’s distinguished allure, and he’d become even more popular among the staff. And it didn’t help that the good doc was both skilled at his job and a really nice guy.

Fucker, Poe thought to himself.

Because Jarek Yeager genuinely was a good guy. He was exactly the kind of man Poe would have hoped you’d end up with: kind, smart, hardworking, clearly knew a good thing when he saw it, since he was into you. He was the kind of man who was deserving of your own kindness, who would appreciate your sense of humor, who would take care of you and love you the way you deserved.

Who didn’t wake up in the middle of the night, thinking he was back in the middle of a war, held captive by his own memories.

And even though the thought of it made him want to be sick, Poe loved you too much to deprive you of someone like that.

If he couldn’t be that person for you, he was glad it might be someone like Yeager.

“Risha was saying it’s almost the anniversary of the accident, and I guess he always tries to stay busy around that time, so I thought it would be nice to keep him company. I wouldn't want to be alone.” You shrugged. “Plus, free dinner after.”

Poe tried to distract himself from his building dread by draining half of his milkshake, thankful for the resulting brain freeze, which was frankly misnamed because it did nothing to freeze his thoughts. “...you like the guy?”

You seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah? He’s really nice. I enjoy working with him.”

“Handsome, too,” Poe supplied.

“Are you-” You’re looking at him with something akin to mirth. “Poe Dameron, are you jealous?”

“What?!” Poe covered his panic with a sharp bark of laughter. “Jealous of who? Yeager? Not at all.” He winked at you with every bit of Dameron charm he could muster. “I’m just keeping an eye out. Gotta defend your honor and all that.”

“My honor?” You snorted. “I’m gonna smack you.”

“It’s in the official best friend handbook. Rule 30, subsection 5, footnote down at the bottom.” He raised his hands in surrender. “It’s out of my hands.”

He tried not to preen as you giggled. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Your idiot. What does that say about your judgement?” He smirked, but couldn’t maintain his joviality. “Seriously, though,” he admitted, uncharacteristically somber. “You’ve been my best friend my whole life. Of course I’m gonna be protective of you.”

“I know,” you smiled. “And I love you for it.”

But not the way Poe wished you did.

You both hesitated for a moment.

“Did you-”

“I had-”

Laughter bloomed as you both tried to speak at once.

You gestured to Poe. “Go ahead.”

He gestured right back. “No, ladies first.”

Your smile faded into something wistful. “Did I ever tell you my parents always thought you and I would end up together?”

“What?” His heart started racing in his chest and he tried to sound glib. “Why?”

“Cause it’s us. You’ve been my best friend my whole life,” you quoted his own words back to him. “You know me better than anyone else on the planet.”

He tried to keep his face schooled into something not resembling the hope he hardly dared to acknowledge. “I mean, you’re not wrong.”

“...have you ever thought about it?” Your voice was soft, and for the first time in almost two and a half decades of friendship, he couldn’t quite tell what you were thinking. It was unsettling.

“Thought about us?” His mouth was so dry it was a sand worm away from being a desert. When you nodded, he swallowed hard.

Only every single moment of every single day since I met you, he wanted to say.

Could he be that brave?

He opened his mouth to answer, but at that moment, there was a crash as a waitress dropped a tray with a table’s worth of orders on it, and he snapped his jaw shut as you turned to look.

He couldn't do it.

When the din had settled, you glanced back to him. “What were we talking about?”

Firmly ignoring his crumbling heart, Poe cleared his throat. “Yeah, Sunday’s good for the market. I’ll grab the coffee on my way.”

Series Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3

A/N: I have not gotten beyond the first episode of Resistance, so my knowledge of Jarek Yeager is based on what I gathered from online research and what little analysis my husband would give me ("He's cool, what else do you need to know?"), so I'm sure my interpretation is going to be wildly OOC. And if you caught the reference, Alexys and Risha appear courtesy of @paper-n-ashes from her epic space love triangle Sparks and Embers, and any similarity to any of her characters, living or living, is coincidentally on purpose.

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agrippaspoleto · 2 years ago

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Fin(n)less

(formerly Shape of Stormpilot) - A mermay Stormpilot story (part 2)

Inspired by Shape of Water and the Little Mermaid (there‘s gonna be a happy ending, promise). I will post the story on AO3 when it‘s finished, but decided to post it first here to motivate myself. Shoutout to @mssr-mcknickers who helped me with quite a few blocks I had with this story and readily listened to all my ramblings. Thanks you so much, friendo!

Warnings: Insecurity, suicidal ideations (nothing happens, but the character expects to die and is prepared to just let that happen), allusions to experimentation, allusions to period-typical racism and homophobia (it‘s set more or less in the fifties/sixties, but don‘t expect accurcy, the places are still borrowed from the star wars universe).

Part 1.

Over the next days Finn made sure to sneak into Poe's room as often as he could get away with it. As part of the maintenance slash sanitation crew most people didn't really pay attention to him which suited him just fine.

It wasn't hard to fall for Poe who despite his captivity hadn't lost his optimism and sunny disposition. And his sass, as Finn witnessed how his jailers treated the man first hand. He had forgotten the time and had to hide when Dr Hux and his crew of "environmental scientists" visited the laboratory to "examine" their charge. It had happened when they had left Poe in the open pool for the first time since Finn had met him. To discover the merman's beautiful voice, which of course Finn couldn't hear outside of the tank, had been a revelation. He could now believe each and every story of sailors led astray by songs if they were performed by voices as beautiful as Poe's. They still conversed mostly in sign language since Poe's English was only marginally better than Finn's Spanish. But when Poe singed, which he did whenever he could get away with it, Finn didn't need to know the words to understand him. His feelings were palpable in the song and Finn would forget the world around him completely. Which had resulted in Finn nearly being discovered by Hux and his ilk.

The only thing Finn could offer in return - besides his company and occasional medical wipes - was food. Of course the cantina food on the plant left a lot to be desired, but Rey sent regular care packages out with chocolate, proper biscuits and crackers. And Finn was more than happy to share those with Poe.

Of course he also tried to find out more about Hux's experiments and ways to free his new friend. Who had trusted Finn way too fast. But then Poe had seen the bruises left by Officer Unamo's boots one day and his signing had been so frantic Finn had barely been able to follow the words. And then he had realised Poe was worried about him. As a black man Finn wasn't used to easy trust and much less someone being angry on his behalf. Not to mention being believed over a white woman. At this point it had been no wonder he had fallen as hard as he had.

It had been a lazy day for Finn's standards when he had been called to clean a spill in Hux's office. But what he heard as he was mopping the floor made him nearly spill the bucket again.

"Yes, we can start the vivisection as soon as tomorrow. Don't worry, if there's any truth to those heathen legends, we will find out. The subject has been unwilling to cooperate thus far, but I'm certain we can test its properties just as easily when it's dead."

Finn froze at those words. While he had been devising a plan to smuggle Poe out of the oil plant for a while now, nothing had yet been set into action. And now there was no time anymore. So, Finn had no other choice than leave the office, grab a laundry wagon and hope for the best.

Later he couldn't really recall any details of their escape. He only remembered the frantic beating of his heart and the constant fight against his panic. Relief had flooded him when they had finally jumped from the plant into the sea, even though a hail of bullets was raining over them. One found its target in Finn's back but the sight of Poe finally back in his element made him smile despite the pain. He had been ready to die, happy to know that Poe was finally free.

But he hadn't died. No, he woke up later at a foreign shore and Poe nowhere to be seen. There was no trace of a bullet wound, only the hole in his jumpsuit told him he hadn't imagined it. He was utterly alone, in a way he had never been before. Lonely yes, but even in his childhood, he had always been surrounded by people, either in the orphanage and later in his foster home or his work places. And if Finn was truly honest with himself, he hadn't expected to survive Poe's rescue. Not really. Maybe this was the reason he had allowed himself to fall in love with the man, just to prove himself capable of loving somebody. Now he felt an ache in his chest,so raw and new, he had no idea how to life with it. He wasn't a stranger to loss nor loneliness, but he had gotten a glimpse of another life, another Finn, who believed in love. The Finn he could've been. And he didn't really want to give up on that dream, not when he had already surrendered so much of himself. It was that thought that made him follow the young fisherman who found him a few hours later into a nearby village and back into civilisation.

#stormpilot #finnpoe #finn star wars #poe dameron #fairy tale style #fanfiction #shape of stormpilot #fin(n)less #belated mermay #tw suicidal ideation #tw experimentation #allusions to period-typical racism and homophobia #agrippas art #agrippa writes

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narrators-journal · 3 years ago

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BSD Poe x autistic female reader Soulmate au ⚠️NSFW⚠️ Personalized autism traits.

I don’t get sarcasm and look ing in peoples eyes freaks me out. I don’t stim. I do everything at a certain time and I don’t like unnecessary loud noises. Depending on the person that it like being touched. I also don’t get the mood in the room sometimes. It’s hard to read facial expressions to.

holy fuck did this take forever to write, I am SO sorry. I hope the product isn't too disappointing, I did my best! <3 Sorry again for the insane wait for this. Gonna try to put the spice under the cut.

CW: nothing too bad, facials at worst.

With snow covering everything outside, and the central heat causing the windows to fog slightly, you had no plans to go outside anytime soon. So, instead you were curled up in one of your boyfriend's spare rooms, since he was currently using his master bedroom for an office, and you weren't exactly up for watching his favorite crime show for the fifteenth time tonight.

So, you instead read a book, maybe listening to some music while your soulmate, as dictated by his first words to you, a simple ‘oh sorry’, tattooed across your wrist, worked away at his latest book. However, your peace was soon interrupted when Poe peeked into your room. "Hi there," you hummed nonchalantly when you spotted him, glancing over towards the goth as he slunk more into the room, "Do you need something?" You asked, letting him come over to you to sit on the bed beside you. Though, he made sure not to touch you, he knew how you hated that.

For another moment, he remained silent, exuding an awkward energy you didn't have to be a master of facial expressions and body language to notice. Suddenly, he spoke, "Um...could you help me out? Please?" You looked at him, thankful his bangs kept you from accidentally making eye contact, "With what? You're writing?" You asked, but he shook his head, his pale cheeks burning a brighter red as he fidgetted, "U-um...well actually, kinda? B-but if you don't want to be touched right now, it's okay." he assured, making you cock your head to the side, "What do you need help with?" He fidgetted more at the question, but took a deep breath and stumbled out his explanation, "I'm at a scene where I-I need to describe some...intimate emotions, but I can't remember how exactly it feels, and everything i write seems wrong, So...um, could you help?" he asked, "you don't have to do a lot, I just need the sensations." He rambled, watching as his behavior seemed to click into place in your mind and your own (s/c) cheeks warmed,

Yet another stretch of silence fell between you and the tall goth while you thought, trying not to choke on your own embarrassment as well. After some thought, you nodded, "I, uh, can help a bit. N-not too much though," you said, Poe nodding in understanding.

With that, you thought about what to do before moving to the floor in front of your boyfriend and beginning to undo his pants. Once his member was free, you wrapped your hand around the base and ran your tongue up his length before slipping him into your mouth to lower back down to where your hand rested.

While you worked, Poe kept his hands to himself, knowing that you weren't always a fan of being touched and not wanting to upset you. So, instead, of risking it, he tangled his fingers into the sheets of the guest bed, humming a bit at the feeling of your tongue pressing against him, bringing his semi-erection to life with the slow bobbing of your head and the occasional stroking with your hand.

Once he was fully riled up, you sped up your movements, careful not to gag around his member as you bobbed your head up and down, relying on his low groans and hums to know how thoroughly he was enjoying your movements, each little noise he made sending ripples of excitement through you in response.

You jumped a bit when Poe suddenly tensed under your touch, his member twitching more as he cursed, "S-sorry, just didn't expect you to hum..." He breathed, somewhat hiding his face in his hand as you curiously hummed around his member again, this time purposely, and inwardly smirked at how it made him twitch and moan louder. So, you did it a few more times while you bobbed your head and stroked him, enjoying his noises until you finally pulled away again, not wanting his semen to end up in your mouth. You instead let it land on your cheek, grimacing a bit at the slimy feeling, but it was easier to get rid of that feeling than the taste.

After that, Poe was quick to thank you and return to his writing. You didn't mind, you just busied yourself with scrubbing his juices off of your face and planning how you'd seduce him a bit later. You had enough time between now and bed time.

#Poe x reader #bsd #x reader #bungo stray dogs #Ask #Edgar allen Poe #not sfw #lemon #this took for-fucking-ever

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succulentsunrise · 3 years ago

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Ooooo 👀 can I get the Emperor for... any OCs you're willing to write 😅 Tani is my fave ofc, but the twins are also interesting 👀👀

ofc!! 🥰 thank you for sending an ask, I hope it's not too rambly after all my studying 😂

🔱 III - The Empress : Luxury, sensuousness, tapping into the natural order.

Tani

Aesthetic beauty, which I assume here the sensuousness kind of refers to, doesn't necessarily apply much to Tani. She's a comely person herself, and probably enjoys a bit more concepts than sensual things - like with Mereoleona, it is the personality and aura that charmed Tani more than looks or other sense related things.

However, natural order is obviously within Tani's area. She breaks a little bit of natural order when she heals plants that are dying or one could argue even when healing people! With plants it is more obvious, perhaps, because she might revive almost dead plants with her magic. someone really into natural order might consider her flaunting of the rules of natural order rather blasphemous, but Tani doesn't see a reason for a plant to die just because someone didn't take care of it. Same goes for people.

Fen & Poe

Speaking about breaking natural order, Fen & Poe are a great topic for it. Fen is practical in many things, but maintaining the natural order of things - why? is probably the first question she'd ask. Why not meddle with it, why not poke at it, why not see what happens? Isn't it silly?

Poe would be the more practical one in this case, having probably a philosophical opinion on it. It is one look at morality and laws and should be treated as one.

On sensuality, I honestly think Poe is more sensual than Fen. He appreciates aesthetics in more ways than her 😂

#Tani Chartreuse #Fen Ikeda #Poe Ikeda #sun talks

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masseffecthoe · 4 years ago

Text

Forbidden starfruit

Chapter 2/5

Summary: Next day bliss.

Warnings: Wetting his Whistle, Taking a trip to pound town, but seriously nsfw

< Chapter 1

Y/N woke up Kylo Ren's annoying distorted voice commanding her to return to base. The sun was gently shining through the round window making the covers warm and nice, but her lover was missing from bed. She stretched her limbs still feeling the remnant of the afterglow, gaze searching for the man in question. Poe was standing with his back towards her, pants already on. Bummer, she was hoping for a lazy morning in bed, Kylo could wait. It had been so long since she felt such chemistry with someone and she didn't know when or if she'd see him again. She smiled, eyes tracing the muscles on his back, his shoulders tense. She had a few ideas on how to relax him.

"Come back t-" He spun around so quickly she actually flinched out of reflex, mind already grasping for the Force. His words were sharp and loud. Not how she imagined the morning would be going.

"You're with the First Order!" Her heart sank at the tone in his voice. She hadn't kept it from him intentionally, it was just not a very good conversation starter... or first impression for that matter. But she gathered now that maybe it hadn't been such a good idea this time around. He looked devastated, eyes blown out in shock. Had he lost someone to the First Order? It was not impossible with the rate they were killing people left and right.

"Yeah, I was hoping it wouldn't be a big deal..." Most people were afraid when they found out, but Poe seemed furious, his fists tight around the fabric of his T-shirt, nostrils flaring with every breath.

"Wouldn't be... is this some kind of game to you??" He was shouting now, took a step forward, but backed away immediately, then just paced to the other side of the room, eyes never leaving her like she'd pounce on him at any moment. Well, she wanted to pounce on him, maybe ride his 'blaster' for a while, but he was making such a fuss about it it was ruining her mood.

"What? N-"

"Was this the trap all along??" Constantly interrupting her was not helping his case either. "No, it can't be, that monster said you dealt with the traitor." Poe’s eyes lit up, mouth hanging, and she had to suppress the sigh and eyeroll combo. "You... the informant..." She wasn't sure if his little ramble was meant to be said out loud, but it gave her the insight she needed. She pinched the bridge of her nose - the morning was definitely not going the way she hoped now.

"You're with the Resistance. Of course." It was just her luck if she was being honest with herself. For how much she valued her power and independence, shit rarely actually went her way. Why couldn't have Poe been just a random freighter pilot like he said? Maybe would have even agreed to join the First Order with her, the pay was good for transport services... It hit her too a moment later, wide eyes fixing on his handsome face. "Well fuck... Poe! As in star Resistance pilot Poe Dameron?" She took his silence as answer enough, her laughter filling in the small space. What were the odds? She couldn't help the flirty line as she eyed the half naked man up and down once more, seeing him in an entirely new light. "The stories don't do you justice."

"Stop it!" He recoiled so fast it only made her smile grow. She wondered what was going on in his head. He didn't look scared, maybe just surprised and perhaps just a little bit disappointed, like she was. But it was good news, they were surely going to meet again, even if they'd have to keep their trysts a secret. At the end of they day they were both just two adults having some fun.

"Look, we don't have to make this awkward."

"You're crazy."

She slipped out of bed, the sheet covering her body falling and she stood naked a few paces away from him. The soft morning light beamed around her from behind like a halo. He was playing tough, but his traitorous body flinched when she drew closer, his eyes straining to stay on her face. He still wanted her, but hated it. She was going to make this hard for him. Y/n placed her hand on his cheek and traced it slowly to the back of his neck pulling him to her, so close her breath sent chills on his skin.

"I may as well be, but remind me who's head was buried between my legs last night?"

"It was a mistake." His voice was low, his defenses slipping.

"But it felt so good!" She let out the last words in little gasps, lips pressing gently over his jaw, following down his neck and over this collarbone, greedy fingers traveling all over his abs and sides before tugging at his pants. He sucked in a breath, hands clasping around her arms in protest, but didn't push her away. It was kind of cute, his internal struggle so obvious on his face. "One last time can't hurt anybody."

Her hands worked painfully slow at his pants, lips barely breaking contact with his skin as she nipped and kissed her way down his toned chest. Fabric out of the way, she stroke his hardening member, a gruff moan escaping the pilot. She felt his fingers flex around her arms, loosening right before the grip was back in full force. The battle between his mind and his dick was exhilarating, never had she wanted to make a man submit so much, let her have her way with him. It was a win-win scenario anyway, why resist at all?

She was in a weird position, halfway to crouching, just as far as his hold allowed her. Her hand cupped his balls, teeth nipping at the skin just below his left pec and his resolve crumbled, head rolling backwards. She wasted no time, slipping through his fingers and kneeling before him. She gave his now throbbing cock a lick from base to tip, his hands wrapping in her hair. She thought he might try to pull her away, but he gathered her hair with gentle strokes in a loose ponytail, prying the loose strands from her face. There eyes met and she knew she had him, flustered cheeks and brows furrowed, mouth gasping for air, watching her expectantly. She gave his dick a few more cheeky licks before taking it all in, throat relaxed and eyes never leaving his.

Cheeks hollowed, she sucked on it like she knew best, one hand massaging his balls, the other firmly pressed to the back of his thigh, nails pressing in the taunt muscles. He was panting, gaze burning with lust, hips buckling ever so slightly when she pressed her tongue along his shaft. He was breathtaking, a parallel to the night before when he had her pressed against the door, his mouth on her core. The memory of his lips on her and the sight of him ignited her from within, her hand traveling to rub her aching clit.

She let his dick out of her mouth with a pop and lowered her eyes to admire him in his full glory, but before she knew it he was pulling her in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist for support. His eyes met hers again, his pupils blown and breath ragged, but she couldn't focus for long and his thick member stroke against her dripping folds. A moan escaped her lips, her head falling back as he shoved his dick inside her roughly. His head fell on the same spot from the previous night, on the crook of her neck, and sucked on the still tender flesh. He pressed her against the wall, adjusting his grip on her thigs and pulled back until just the tip was still inside her, only to push in with renewed vigor. The pace quickened, turning into a heavy rhythm, so different and yet the same. It was still lustful, she could still feel the desire, the spark between them, but also his anger. Her arms circled around his neck, one hand fisting into his messy hair. He groaned on her skin, biting her shoulder, the pain mixing in with the pleasure. She thought she forgot to breath for a moment, his dick hitting that sweet spot one last time before the rapture came over her like a wave, radiating from her core, every nerve in her body sparking to life in its wake. She was vaguely aware of his arms tightening around her as his last thrusts became uneven.

They stayed like that for a while catching their breaths, his dick still inside and head still hiding on her shoulder, skin against skin sweaty and hot. Her eyes fell on his mouth when he finally pulled away. He had such perfect lips. She untangled her fingers from his hair, nails scraping gently. She caressed his cheek, thumb tracing his lips, moist and swollen. He almost leaned into her touch. Almost.

She smiled, but she felt it didn't quite reach her eyes, and untangled herself from him. They dressed in silence, Y/N sighing a few times. No sexy morning shower together then. She cleaned herself the best she could, but she'd still need to sneak in the bath before her training with Kylo. She stole glanced at the pilot, admiring his form, the way his muscles flexed when he pulled the T-shirt over his head. The thought of him in his X-wing, orange jumpsuit fully zipped open, cock standing in full attention. What a sight that would be! She sighed again and took her long hooded coat out of the drawer and wrapped herself in it. She saw him watching her from the corner or her eye as she swiftly clasped her lightsaber belt, the black leather hanging oddly on the satin dress beneath. She took the holopad and few other possessions and turned towards Poe, mustering a smile. His eyes were glued to the First Order badge on her cape's shoulder. Why was he making shit so awkward?

"Well, until next time, fly boy." She cringed bit at her own words, the thought of meeting him during a battle somewhere flashing in her mind. He grabbed her by the arm as she went to pass him by, his grip firm but not constricting. His gaze was piercing, as if he wanted to see inside her soul. Cute, but it didn't work quite like that. Mind reading was a more complex art.

"Did you kill him?" Her brows furrowed, chin lifting in defiance. Was everyone in the Resistance so naïve?

"If you mean the traitor then of course." His face fell at her answer, but she felt her blood boil. She had half a mind to rip him a new one, who did he think he was? Self righteous bastard! She smiled instead a dark little smirk and added with more venom than she intended. "Let's not ruin a perfect morning." She ripped herself from his hold with ease and rushed out of the room. Anger did not look good on her, it was one of the emotions she did not particularly enjoy. She took a little detour both to calm herself down and to make sure she wasn't followed. The Resistance had that annoying habit of finding itself where it shouldn't.

Tali was waiting for her on the ship. It was jut a bit smaller than Kylo's command shuttle, his ego always pushing to prove he was above her. But that was Snoke's plan, wasn't it? To pit them against one another until he'd eventually snap and try to kill her. She hoped he wouldn't, but lately she was not so sure.

"Sooooooo, how was it?" The other woman's excitement died down when she saw her face. "That bad, huh?" Tali was a sweetheart, clearly not cut out for the life of constant murder and backstabbing, born in a line of ex-empire followers and pushed into the grips of the First Order by her family. For the glory of the former Empire! Y/N imagined they would shout a speech even Hux would be proud of. The less she knew, the safer she'd be, even if it unfortunately meant Y/N could not vent to her friend too much about Poe.

"Eh, he got all squeamish when he found out I was First Order."

"I'm sorry."

"Sex was great though." She giggled, the sound making Y/N smile as well.

"Not to be the bearer of bad news, but Commander Ren is, um, angry." Ah, poor baby was throwing a temper tantrum again. It was sad how se seemed to want her attention and her demise all at once.

"We should get going then..."

One jump into hyperspace and a quick shower later, Y/N made her way into the training room. She had her full uniform on, the mix of leather and soft fabric like a second skin, but she kept the helmet under her arm. Kylo was already in the center of the ring, oozing wrath like some sith lord in the legends of old. It was goin to be an intend training session.

"You're late."

"Hhhm... Hutts are ugly." He stared at her like she had grown a second head. "I thought we were stating random truths." He ignored her quip and stalked closer to her, fidgeting with the lightsaber in his hand.

"What took you so long?"

"I took a little time off for a night of drinks and debauchery. You should try it once in a while, great stress reliever." He snarled, the crackling noise of his weapon his only reply.

They clashed, red against red, his saber frizzling, hers smooth. She had to steer clear of his cross-guard, burning angrily like the rest of his sword, but hers was also dangerous, a circle of sharp, unforgiving metal. He charged at her in a frenzy, each strike less coordinate, desperate. She parried and dodged, always meeting him halfway, but never pushing back. He was a raging inferno, she was a leaf in the wind. Something was clearly eating at him and she doubted it had much to do with her. What had Snoke gotten into his head now? One of his swings came awfully close to her face, the heath from the lightsaber pinching at her cheek. Would he really do it? Strike her?

She was growing tired of just stepping out of the way, but he did not show any signs of slowing down. If anything, he was was becoming more erratic, his moves harder to predict. He jabbed at her, shouting now, seething. But he'd never actually hit her... would he?

She saw a small opening, a chance to strike back and she took it before she could think twice, her muscles tiring and aching for a break. His eyes widened, but before her lightsaber got even remotely close, she felt the familiar grip of the Force around her limbs, pinning her to the spot. She could have fought against it, but the man before her seemed to cool down, if only just barely. His lightsaber was still on, it's jagged pattern casting dancing shadows on his clothes.

"How are you better when you're not even trying?" He freed her from his hold, lightsaber back on his belt, and she in turn released a shaky breath.

"Oh, I am trying not to get stabbed, you can get pretty scary. I'm actually not entirely convinced you wouldn't cut me down if you had the chance... but I'm just not taking it so seriously."

"Not taking what seriously?"

"The First Order, Snoke, the sith code, any of it."

"But you're training to be sith." He was looking at her again with that same expression, somewhere between irate and impressed, curious yet exasperated. She was sith, but the code spoke to her in different ways.

"If 'there is only passion' shouldn't we enjoy life a little more? It says nothing about being miserable and angry all the time. Or following the orders of a wrinkled ballsack..." He actually chuckled and she considered it a small victory so she went on, inching closer to him. "'Through victory my chains are broken. The Force shall set me free.' Do you feel free, Kylo Ren?"

"I've never felt so lost." She placed her hand on his shoulder. She remembered him when they were younger, in Luke's jedi camp. He seemed happy then, she thought he'd make a great jedi one day, worried even that he'd be the one to chase her down after she left. Never would she have guessed he'd come recruit her for the First Order years later.

"You should listen more to yourself and less to the ones around you." She meant Snoke, but saying his name felt like summoning a demon sometimes. She squeezed before taking her hand off, but was surprised when he engulfed her in his arms, caging her against his chest in an iron grip. She sighed and patted him on the back, almost felt bad for the sucker, when she felt the hilt of his lightsaber just below her ribs. He'd only have to turn in on now. He inched away, his steady gaze meeting her own, a smile playing on his lips. The pressure of the saber went away the next second. He ruffled her hair like he used to do when they were both naïve little padawans, in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"I'd never cut you down, Y/N." But that was exactly why Snoke was keeping her around, couldn't he see? How could they still pretend to be friends when one of them was always going to die at the hand of the other? This was more than some misplaced sibling rivalry! She was sith, but even she could admit that the stupid 'rule of two' was ridiculous and outdated. The code was a guideline, each generation seeming to interpret it to their own needs. So why were listening to that overpowered morsel? Why were they playing along to revive the Empire's glory when it had obviously failed once? But he seemed so naïve sometimes, placing such trust in someone like that old scrotum. She was reminded of the Resistance and their own innocent dreams. Could she still pull Kyl- Ben out of Snoke's grasp?

"Let's go another round."

"Fine, but then we sneak off to Nar Shaddaa, get some drinks, maybe get into a barfight, kill some bandits. Deal?" He shook his head, but there was a glimmer in his eyes as he took stance for attack.

Y/N didn't know if it had been then that she decided. It might have been in the back of her head since that day he came as Kylo Ren and offered her a place in the First Order, but it was in that moment when he charged at her, the childlike joy back in his dark eyes, that she swore she was going to get him away from Snoke's influence.

#forbidden starfruit #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron fanfiction #star wars #poe x reader #poe x you #poe dameron x female reader #poe dameron x you #fanfiction #seduction to the gray side

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kiwiimmellon134 · 4 years ago

Text

ONE LAST TIME

(not my gif!)

summary — in which the resistance’s best fights try and recruit one of the galaxy’s deadliest creature resulting in an unwanted reunion.

word count — 2k words

paring(s) — vampire hunter!poe dameron x fem!vampire!reader

warning(s) — blood, violence, and angst

notes — this vampire au is heavily based on the vampire diaries so this is gonna follow a lot of the supernatural lore of the show. and my first fic on this app, be gentle

Being a vampire wasn’t exactly your cup of tea when it first happened. But the longer you were a vampire, the more you got used to it and the more you embraced it. You were turned by Emperor Palptine himself, the first vampire.

You were the granddaughter of a Sith Lord and it was why Palpatine turned you in the first place. You were a member of the Original Bloodline, the first line of vampires.

The Sith vampires became power hungry and started a war that lasted one thousand years, and is still being fought till now. It began with the Empire, led by your grandmother and Anakin Skywalker.

But then, Luke Skywalker destroyed the Empire’s weapon, seemingly ending the war. Until the First Order rose under you and Kylo Ren.

The First Order had allies among the vampire species. They made sure to make allies with the most deadly creatures in the galaxy. Although, the Resistance had an alliance with the werewolves. Meanwhile, the witches were neutral. The playing field was even since a werewolf bite was toxin and dangerous to vampires.

You had left the First Order a while ago. You finally saw the evils the First Order was doing and left. You snuck away in the middle of the night. You were an ally the Resistance wanted.

General Leia Organa sent her best vampire hunter, Poe Dameron, and his two closest friends, Finn and Rey, to find a new ally for the Resistance. They ended up on a planet named Vela, in hopes of finding this new ally.

"Where did Leia say to search?" Rey asked as the trio walked down the street that was suspiciously empty.

"Here," Poe said, leading them to a bar. Poe, Finn, and Rey entered the bar and were met with a bloody dead body. "Gross," Finn said softly.

They turned into the main room of the bar and saw the horror that waited for them. Blood splattered on the walls and floor, bodies were scattered along the bar and there were some dismembered limbs as well.

Poe looked over at the broomstick resting against the wall. Poe snapped a piece of the broomstick off to make a stake. He only knew about one creature that could create this kind of mess.

Rey swallowed down the distaste in her mouth and felt sick to her stomach. "Holy shit," Rey whispered.

There, in the center of it all, was you, feeding on a dead body with her back facing the trio. You released the man's neck with a snarl and the man's head fell onto the ground with a disgusting thud. You turned around with blood-red eyes and grey veins trickling down from your eyes.

Your mouth and chin were covered in blood. "You've got to be kidding me," Poe commented.

Your eyes turned back to normal and she sighed. "You've got to be kidding me." You said. "Haven't seen you around here in a long time," You added.

"Been busy," Poe answered.

"You know her?" Finn asked.

"I dated her." Finn and Rey turned their heads to look at him, "You what?" Rey asked.

"It's a long story," Poe replied. "It was your typical forbidden romance," You interjected, "Vampire," You pointed to yourself, "Vampire hunter." You pointed to Poe.

"And don't forget the fact you're a manipulative bitch," Poe added.

"Ouch," You put her hand over her heart, "Did my betrayal hurt you that much?"

You met Poe when you were still with the First Order. You found out he was a vampire hunter not long after you met and you came clean about being a vampire to him.

You both tried to make it work. You really did. But you came from opposite sides of the war. Kylo found out about your relationship with him and gave you a choice.

You chose the First Order, which broke your heart but you wanted to stay on the First Order’s good side.

"Okay, who is she?" Rey asked softly.

You introduced yourself to them, "And I come from the Original bloodline. And I'm a Ripper." You explained, "You know what that means?"

When you were met with silence, you answered your own question. "It means I literally can't stop feeding until I tear your head off," You explained, your eyes slowly shifting back to red.

Rey and Finn slowly moved behind Poe since he was the only one relaxed in this situation. "I need to talk to her alone," Poe whispered back to his two friends.

"What?" Finn asked, "Did you not hear what she just said? She will kill you."

"She can't kill me even if she wanted to," Poe replied. He looked at you with a small smirk, "Not unless she wants to deal with me for the rest of her life."

"Don't remind me," You rolled her eyes.

"Let's just say I have supernatural immunity. Go wait outside. This won't take long." Poe said. Rey and Finn hesitantly nodded and left the bar. They were glad to get out of the bar though, it smelt ridiculously bad.

"And what exactly are you planning on doing with that?" You asked, looking down at the stake in his hand, "You think you can kill me? I'm two hundred years older than you."

"I can take you."

You laughed softly, shaking her head slightly. "When did you turn it off? Your humanity?" Poe asked. He knew you wouldn't do it unless you didn't care, if you didn't feel.

"Two years ago." You answered, "I just need to get on human blood. Get off of that rabbit diet my uncle put me on and get back to my roots." Poe glanced down at the floor for a quick moment. Two years ago? You broke up two years ago. Poe looked back up at you.

"General Leia thinks you'll make a good ally to the Resistance. I don't know why since you're the same selfish vampire I've always known." There was a time when Poe really believed you could do good. That you weren’t the same as your family that was currently trying to take over the galaxy.

Just like there was a time where you believed you could change. You wanted to change. For him.

Your face fell for a moment. Just a quick moment as you processed his words. Then, your face hardened again and you replied, "Fucking hell, I lie to you once and you won't let me live it down."

"You could've killed me," Poe argued.

"Yeah, well, I didn't. You know that stupid curse got in the way. Believe me, if the curse didn't exist, I would've torn you apart... And you know it." The Hunter's curse was the only thing stopping vampires such as you from killing hunters like Poe.

If a vampire killed a hunter, the spirit of the hunter would torment the vampire relentlessly for the end of time. Or if the vampire drove a stake through their own heart.

You wiped her chin with the back of your hand and sighed softly. "So, why are you here?" You asked, "You miss me?" You smirked.

"No, I don't," Poe replied, "The Resistance needs your help. We're just asking for some assistance. Then, once the war is over, you can go back to murdering people aimlessly."

"I'm not gonna help you. I like my little neutral alliance. It's... strangely peaceful. I get to kill whoever I want without caring if they're on your side of the First Order's side. And it's not like anyone could come after me. I'm a Sith vampire. I have as much supernatural immunity as you." You rambled.

You took a couple of steps closer to Poe and looked down at his neck, hearing his heartbeat.

You looked up into his eyes and licked your lips.

"Yeah... Thing is... I'm not necessarily asking." Poe said softly. Before you could process what he said, Poe grabbed your throat and slammed your back on a tabletop, holding you down by your neck. He brought up his other hand and stabbed the stake in your chest, causing you to yell in pain.

"Two more inches and I pierce your heart," Poe said, twisting the stake slightly in his hand. You groaned in pain. "So what's it gonna be?" Poe asked.

"God, you're hot..." You whispered softly. You put your hand on his wrist causing his hand to tighten ever so slightly around your throat. "When did you get so hot...?" Poe slowly drove the stake further in her chest, you winced in pain.

"Don't flirt with me."

Your eyes flicked down to the stake and back up at Poe. "You wouldn't..." You argued, "If you did, my entire bloodline would come after you."

"Not like they could kill me," Poe retorted.

"You think the curse is gonna stop them?" You asked, wincing in pain again, "You fuck with one of the Originals and the others will kill you. Curse or not. Besides... You care about me too much to kill me."

Poe leaned down and whispered in your ear, "I couldn't care less about you. Gotta be honest, I might even hate you. So, it looks like our little love story ends here."

You tightened your grip on his wrist and twisted it, pulling his hand off of your neck and a loud snap echoed through the bar. Poe shouted in pain, which alerted Rey and Finn outside, and you kicked him off of her. You pulled the stake out of your heart and got off of the table, the wound already healing.

You grabbed his throat, like what he did to you, and stabbed the stake in his gut, expertly missing everything important. "You hate me?" You asked as Poe groaned from the pain, "That sounds like the beginning of a love story, Poe. Not the end of one." You heard the bar doors open and the footsteps of Rey and Finn coming.

You let go of Poe and used her vampire speed to leave the room before Rey and Finn came into the bar. "Poe!" Finn shouted as he and Rey rushed to Poe's side.

"She doesn't want to help," Poe winced.

"We noticed." Rey retorted.

Poe was fine after a long period of rest. You disappeared again, flying under the First Order's and the Resistance's radar. But Poe's seen the messes she left behind, the amount of people you killed made Poe second guess his belief that you could be good.

The war ended after many more months of fighting. The Resistance didn't need your help to win, but you still would've been a powerful enemy against the First Order. A lot of the vampires went into hiding and the galaxy finally felt peace.

Currently, Poe was back on Yavin IV, his home planet, tending to his x-wing with BB-8 beside him. BB-8 let out an alarmed beep, making Poe turn around. Lingering in the shadows was a figure Poe knew all too well.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked. You stepped out from the overhead shadow and into the light, "I heard the war's over." Poe looked at BB-8, not saying anything. BB-8 turned and rolled away from you two.

"What do you want?" Poe asked.

"I wanted to see you," You replied. "I've been thinking about—"

"—Save it. I don't want to play your games." Poe interrupted.

"Us," You finished her sentence anyways, "I've been thinking about us."

"There is no more 'us'. Not after everything." Poe pointed at you and took one large stride closer to you, "You did this to us."

"And you're right. I know what I did..." You trailed off. Poe could hear the softness in your voice, something was different from the last time they spoke in that bar. "I just... I'm sorry." You spoke softly.

"You turned your humanity back on, didn't you?" Poe asked.

"And I'm off human blood," You continued, "I stopped killing." Poe knew that statement was true, the killings dropped immensely toward the end of the war. You did stop killing.

"Just... Give me another chance. Don't give up on me... please." You pleaded.

"Tell me you didn't come here with the expectation that I would take you back just because you can feel emotions again." You frowned and glanced down.

"I just wanted to see you," You replied, "One last time..." You whispered.

"What does that mean?" Poe questioned.

"I'm..." You trailed off, stumbling slightly because your knees gave out from under you. Poe quickly threw out his arms and caught you before you could hit the ground.

"What’s going on?" Poe asked.

"Some werewolves jumped me a couple days ago..." You explained softly. You grabbed your jacket sleeve and slowly rolled it up your forearm, exposing the infected bite. Poe stared down at the bite mark, shocked.

"Heh... I'm dying..." You chuckled lightly, smiling weakly. Poe reached down and picked up your legs, carrying you bridal style.

"What're you—"

"—Shh."

Poe carried you back to his house and laid you down on his couch in the living room. Poe crouched down beside you and you shifted, getting comfortable.

"Poe..." You muttered.

"Just relax," Poe replied. Poe gently reached up and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I know... You hate me," You began softly, "And that's fine. But I..." You gently put your hand on his cheek, "I love you, Poe. I always have."

He mumbled your name, then used his hand to lower yours.

"What I felt was real... And I hope what you felt was real too... I just want to ask you one thing." You continued.

"What is it?" Poe asked softly.

"You know no vampire has survived a werewolf bite. And you know how painful a bite is in its final stages... I just want you to..." You stopped, taking deep breaths.

"You're asking me to kill you?" Poe asked.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it at the bar..." You replied, "Please... I wouldn't have it any other way." Poe looked down in deep thought.

"There's no way around this. I'm not gonna live..." You laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood, "This... This is where our love story ends." Despite the weak smile on your face, tears escaped your eyes.

Poe felt tears prick his eyes, "What about your family?"

"I don't even know where they are..." You answered. "Just do this one thing for me..."

Poe remained silent and stood up. "I'll be right back. Try and rest," He said softly. Poe walked away from you, thinking about his options.

He didn't have many. Let you suffer from the werewolf bite or... just put you out of her misery now. There was no cure for a werewolf bite. You were going to die.

Poe entered his room, feeling a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to admit it out loud but he did care about her. Deep down. He did.

Poe pulled out a duffle bag from underneath his bed and unzipped it. He reached inside and pulled out a stake. Poe exited his room and headed back toward you.

Poe gently lifted up your upper body and slipped on the couch under you, resting you back on his chest, putting the stake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Hey," Poe said softly, "I'm here. Just breathe."

You slowly looked up at him, "I can't believe I'm about to die with the entire galaxy thinking I'm a monster... Including you," You said.

"You're not a monster. I spent a long time blaming you for what happened between us. I'm sorry. You deserve peace." Poe said, his voice shaking slightly. Your gaze fell and she saw the stake sitting on the table

"Look at me," Poe mumbled, grabbing your chin and turning your head back up to him.

"Careful. I might think you actually care about me." You joked, your breaths getting shallower and shallower.

"Maybe I do." Poe replied, keeping his voice quiet and soft. Poe moved his hand to grab the stake from the table. Your eyes followed his movements.

"Hey, look at me," Poe said, seeing you look away. You gazed back up at him, "Just keep your eyes on me, yeah? Just look at me. Nothing else." You nodded again.

Poe brought the tip of the stake to your chest with shaky hands and then felt your hand on his, telling him that it's okay. "Don't forget me, okay?" You asked softly.

"I won't..." Poe answered, "I'll never forget you." Poe said softly, tears building in his eyes.

You nodded, tears falling down your face. You could feel him moving his hand back. "Wait," You whispered, using your hand to stop his hand, "Tell me you love me... Even if it's a lie. Please..."

"I love you." Poe replied with a shaky tone. Those words brought you a strange sense of peace. You finally felt peace. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes. Poe pulled his hand back slightly and then stabbed your heart.

You gasped and Poe finally let the tears fall. Poe rested his chin on top of your head. Poe looked down and watched your body turn a dark grey color. You were desiccating. You were dead.

Poe sighed defeatedly and planted a kiss on top of your head. "I love you." Poe repeated quietly.

my one tag lol : @damndamer0n

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars #poe dameron x you #writing

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reylo-love-theme · 5 years ago

Text

Post TROS Meltdown

Disclaimer: these are my personal feelings for the series and may not reflect your opinions. I just need a space to say them. Thank you.

I went into TROS completely blind and with no doubt that Ben would live (due to reading hundreds of fan analyses and predictions based off TLJ and TFA) and I have to say I'm emotionally unsalvagable. Anticipation for this movie got me through the roughest year of my entire life and this heartbreak and loss is what I'm supposed to end off on?

Like the entire movie came out of the left field and body slammed me into the ground.

They did so many fake deaths that I stayed waiting long into the credits for Ben to come back.

I kept hoping for an final scene...

COME ON EVERYONE and I MEAN EVERY mainish or even side character GETS a HAPPY ENDING EXCEPT THE TWO PEOPLE THAT NEEDED IT THE MOST. THE PROTAGONISTS.

What is supposed to be the moral of the story here.

Star wars is a space fairytail about HOPE and LOVE. IT was supposed to be reverse anidala!!! THE BIG THING ABOUT THAT SHIP WAS THAT IT WAS A TRAGEDY.

THE MOST SIGNIFICANT IMPACTFUL REVERSE IS TO GIVE LOVE AN HAPPY ENDING.

DO YOU SEE THE HOPE IN MY LITTLE EYES. DO YOU?!? *incoherent sobbing*

(Please don't read if you are just going to counter it in the comments. This is solely a personal opinion meltdown and not an attack on anyone or anything. I'm not a words smith and this might come out like senseless rambling but this is a meltdown post hahaha *cries* )

The cinematics and the fighting choreography were incredible. But I went to see the HEART of SW. I went solely to see that happy reylo ending.

Don't even get me started on what they did with Rey (the whole point of her arc was that a nobody can still be stand tall, love, and be a hero)

And Kylo/Ben (can redemption is rewarded with non-death for once?!?) It wasn't even a necessary death! He didn't have to die saving Rey!! They didn't even get like 5 minutes together without fighting?!? Like TLJ set it up perfectly! (Ben defeats Palp with Rey's help and Rey is by his side as he turns back to the light)(How come she called him Ren the entire time until the last scene?! Wasn't she the one who believed most in him?!?). His death had little impact on the audience!! Because there was no previous set up of romance!! There wasn't even happy moments like anidala or hanleia had... There was just...an end in death.

And it wasn't even mourned properly. We only see Rey grieve for all of 2 seconds?

The kiss scene was amazing! The way Ben crawled back to his love was so emotionally powerful! HIS EYES WERE IN SUCH PAIN. Rey grinned! He GRINNED BACK! THEY KISS! HE DIES!! How come no one cared about him afterwards?!? Why is Rey just being like "eh alright thats cool dude".( in the theatre I was so ticked off when someone laughed when he was legit trying to crawl back with broken ribs and a leg) I think it came out so left field for the people who weren't reylo! There was like barely hints that they loved loved each other. (Literally Poe and that girl had more romantic time together!)

Or there were hints on Kylo's side but NOT ENOUGH ON REYs. She juat attacked him and attacked him for the whole movie. (Yes I get that she was "struggling with the dark side" or whatever but Kylo was struggling too and he physically never hurt Rey (beyond unintentionally emotionally)) it made me question if Rey even loved him anymore and that was a huge blow. I couldn't sense this girl at all. Like I thought her tears were for Leia and Not BEN who she Literally Just stabbed. That was how shocked cold I was.

(WHY WAsnt he allowed to "love" rey from the begining of TROS instead of just going back to TFA Style KYlo) (It felt so forced and awkward from how he was in TLJ, I kept feeling like Adam tried to salvage it but he had so few lines it was sooo hard (he did a great job with showing his love and redemption of Ben even with the lack of lines though))

NOW HERE IS WHERE IM TRUELY MAD.

What message am I supposed to take away from their love story?

That broken characters do not deserve love? That trying to change results ultimately in death? That you can only been redeemed in death? That your family is willing to help a random member from their enemies bloodline but not their own kid who still loves them very much he literally dropped his saber when his mom died and gets stabbed and he still turns back because of his dad's last words even though he's been mistreated and neglected by his family and manipulated and abused by palp! What was the point of Leia putting down her lightsaber if not to save her son's life?!? Not end it by letting Rey pick it up?!?

Its 2019! Stop making redeemed villains die because you are too cowardly to give them the hard recovery journey afterwards!

As an abuse victim I related personally to his character and I felt cheated because of how cheap his death was treated. The message I had hoped to take away from this work was that it's not too late to save yourself! You get to decide who you want to be, not destiny, not family, not a skywalker curse! You can change your life! Recover from your abuse and heal your damaged heart. Find your found family in someone who believes in you and loves you even when you are flawed. Your bloodline is irrelevant to how you are. You don't have to pay the price for your family's crimes because you are not an extension of your family's will. You are your own person. Keep your love even in dark times because your heart will save you. (Wasnt that the whole point?! Ben solo had a heart! HE HAD A BIG HEART. That was the cause of the whole internal conflict!?? What does it mean that his love for rey killed him(I dont care that its symbolic or whatever, he still died. Thats not a good ending because he literally wasn't shown with his family or even with Rey, he just disappeared ?!?)

Like okay maybe there is a "tenth movie" or book to revive him. Like the openness of the movie leaves that space. But it was a hurtful move because no one would expect that since the trilogy has ended. Everyone fully expected a happy ending to wrap up NINE MOVIES OF TRAGIC LOVE. I mean I'm all for redeemed Ben solo and I'm so glad they at least gave him that and Rey's kiss. I'm only going to rewatch those parts from now on. For me the movie ended when he smiled.

#the rise of skywalker spoilers #the rise of skywalker #reylo #long post #post tros screaming #tros spoliers #tros #spoilers #rey #kylo ren #ben solo deserved better #rey deserves better #wyv rambles

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riyuu-bsd · 6 years ago

Text

Rest [Edgar Allen Poe x Reader]

"What's the new book about?" she smiled, (h/c) lockes swept behind her shoulders,

"A-ah! (L/n)-San! I'm going to write a book that will absolutely stump Ranpo-Kun, because as his rival, I have to challenge him," her boss smiled,

"Sounds awesome, Poe-San!" the maid enthused, "Can I read it so far?"

In truth, the girl had no interest in reading, preferring to lead her life as a detective for her fix of action. She may not have been able to protect Poe, but she certainly could support him wholeheartedly.

Which is what she did.

"Oh, of course, but I never knew you enjoyed reading so much," the male said with a small chuckle and a faint dust of pink on his cheeks, standing up with the draft in hand.

"I could've gotten it myself, you know," the lady chuckled, moving closer so that she could get the book so far.

"Yes you could I never doubted that I justt thought that it would be better for me to hand it to you myself," he rambled, flustered at his own awkwardness as he sat back down, hiding his face in his hands (not that it made much difference, with how his hair covered his eyes). You smiled at how adorable you found it, however unprofessional it may have been.

In truth, it wasn't far off to say that she liked the shy male. His aura of mystery (which only existed due to his timidity) was alluring, and his dedication to being a good rival was refreshing. He was incredibly friendly, underneath all his awkward fumbling, and when he was comfortable with someone he was somewhat clingy. It was all adorable to the (h/c)ette, though she knew how scandalous it may seem to romanticise her boss in the work place. She had tried to drop hints, but they fell onto deaf, awkward ears. Whenever she would brush her hand against hi, he shuffled to the side, thinking it was a signal he was too close. Whenever she would give him a smile, he shied away, assuming that it was because she saw him looking at her and found it unsettling but knew how sensitive he was. It was almost frustrating, when she dwelled on it.

Snapping out of her thoughts and concentrating on the carefully crafted strings of words infront of her, she looked in amazement at the effort put into a draft of the novel. She smiled to herself, flipping the page.

The author peeked through his hands to see how she reacted so far.

A smile?

Did she find it laughable?

It would be crushing if his kind, sweet maid laughed at his work.

But at least it would be honesty, right?

Drowning in his insecurities, he failed to notice he was staring again, and quickly ripped his gaze from her.

"Its great, Poe-San," the lady smiled, holding it out for him. Whilst she had no interest in books, writing or reading, she had been encapsulated in the intricate strings of words, the sense of mystery and clues dropped intruiged her.

"Y-you think?" he stammered, unable to take the compliment at face value. His face flushed slightly, a small smile forming at the smile and nod of his assistant. She looked at her pocket watch, noticing the time,

"Ah! I should be going, I have things to sort out and rooms to clean," she chuckled, standing up and excusing herself, "Thank you for your time," she smiled with a bow.

Poe himself had lost track of time, glancing to see what it was.

11:43.

"(L-l/n), you've worked a long shift, you should really be going home," he fussed, getting up and stepping towards her, "I-I could get you a cab," he offered, "Or I could d-drive you, don't overwork yourself-"

"Don't overwork myself? Poe-San, you've been working on that novel for a week straight, you've barely left your office," the head maid fussed, turning around, "Besides, I still have work to do,"

"B-but-"

"No buts, I'm not paid to have a good nights sleep," she pouted, leaving with a small bow.

The author was left feeling nervous and guilty. He resumed finishing up the final version, mind racing with his thoughts.

His mind was clouded with thoughts and concerns of how tired she must be, if she was eating properly and other things he never usually worried about. On multiple occasions he had found himself writing her name rather than the word he was supposed to.

"Poe-San, I'll be leaving now," the maid said with a curtsy, "Unless there's anything else you need help with,"

"N-no, there's nothing else, (L/n), thank you," he smiled, amazed at how confident he seemed (despite the initial stutter),

"No problem, Poe-San, I'll be going," she said with a small smile. Before he could offer her help getting home, she was on her way out. He scrambled to his feet, chasing after her,

"W-wait!" he called, trying his best not to trip, "Have tomorrow off, i-if you'd like," he said, somewhat out of breath after not running for so long,

"I'll be fine with just coming in a bit later, if that's possible," she smiled,

"S-sure," he agreed, Karl catching up and climbing back to his usual place on Poe's shoulder.

"I'll see you, then," the lady said, somewhat curt. He nodded, retreating to his room at a brisk place.

Laying in bed with Karl curled up next to him, Poe began to feel somewhat feverish. He felt too warm, head spinning and focus askew.

What was happening?

He brought his hands to his usually cold face, pulling them away quickly at the intense heat.

That wasn't usual.

He was usually stone cold.

Why did he feel warm?

Why was his face red?

Why couldn't he take her off of his mind?

He stroked Karl's fur, hoping it would destress him and that he could find answers. He wanted answers; answers he couldn't get.

"Oh Karl, what am I going to do? I can't get her off of my mind," he whispered to his beloved raccoon, "And I'm so warm lately.. What's happening?"

Karl remained curled up, falling asleep to the quiet, worried rambles of insecurity lulled by his owner.

Stealing a glance at the clock, he groaned.

Two hours later and he still hadn't slept. Dragging himself out of dull, grey sheets. He trudged into his office, tugging at the light switch. Greyish, lavender eyes fluttered and squinted in the sudden, yellow light. He sighed to himself, slumping over the table as he began to continue writing.

//Timeskip//

Walking in to the small office, the girl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Poe-Kun, did you not sleep again? Are you awake? Cold? Do you need a blanket?" she fussed, walking closer.

All she heard in response was soft snoring which somewhat warmed her heart. She smiled to herself, wrapping her arms around him as he continued to sleep, "Do you need me to help you get back to sleep?"

He stirred, feeling the warmth of someone against him. He flushed red in embarassment,

"(L-L/n).." he stammered, before realising the situation.

He began to panic mentally, scrambling to get away. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable by having her hold him so close for too long.

"Ah, Poe-San, how was your sleep?" she smiled, picking him up with incredible ease,

"I-I didn't realise I fell asleep.." he admitted, giving up on resisting and resting into her warm hold.

"That's okay, when did you last know you were awake?" she continued, walking into the hallway, "Ah- Which one is yours again?"

"I think.. I think I fell asleep at maybe.. Four?" he managed, casting back his memory, "I-I can walk myself, (L/n),"

"Poe! You need to sleep more," she scolded, "No, I'll carry you; you're tired, anyway,"

"I-I couldn't sleep.." he sighed, pointing to a room, "That one's mine,"

"Why couldn't you, Poe? What's bothering you?" she cooed, walking into the right room and placing him on the bed. Digging through his drawers, she looked for some nightwear for him to wear.

"(L-L/n), I have work to do-"

"How are you going to do work passed out, huh?" she retorted, throwing a confortable looking pair at him,

"You don't have to do this, you know," he whined, the girl standing outside to give him privacy.

"Poe, I care about you and I know that you need sleep; and that means you're getting to sleep whether you like it or not," she sassed, "I came by to drop off a cake I ordered for you, and noticed you weren't around,"

"R-Really? ..Y-you care, (L/n)..?" Poe whispered, ready to get some sleep as he reopned the door,

"I.. I mean.. Yeah.." she blushed, rubbing the back of her neck awkardly. He noticed that she was dressed in a blouse and skirt apposed to her uniform, and realised what she said was quite true. "A-anyway, what was bothering you, though?"

"I felt.. Really warm.. And my face was really red, and I couldn't stop thinking about someone.." he admitted, too awkward to say it was her.

"That means that.. You're in love," she smiled, eyes holding an underlying sadness.

"O-oh.." he whispered, before the lady tucked him into his sheets,

"Would you like some tea to help you sleep? Biscuits? Anything at all?" she offered, eyes plain.

"C-could--" He cut himself off, realising how absurd his answer would seem to her, "Could you open the window for me?" She nodded, smiling and granting his request.

"I'll stick around, just in case you need anything, okay?"

"O-okay.."

His mind still raced. She cared about him. About his wellbeing. About his happiness. It made his heart flutter, the butterflies in his stomach intense. He wove his hand in Karl's soft fur, hoping to relieve his mind of such thoughts. Every once in a while, he noticed she would come and check in on him, only to get flustered and scold him when he was still awake.

How could he not be?

He was conflicted over her; did he love her? Or was it just that he wanted to be friends, and his social anxieties over exaggerated the situation, feigning admiration as infatuation?

Who was he kidding? Of course he loved her. Afterall, he was fixated on her. Wanting to be close to her, to be near her. He was quite comfortable with her, seeing as she was his maid and (possibly) his friend.

Curling up, he decided to just close his eyes and hope to fall asleep, before hearing the door open. He knew the familiar scent of lavender from anywhere; (L/n). She came to check on him again, moving closer.

Poe held his eyes shut, no matter how desperately he wanted to gaze at her beautiful features, he should have been sleeping. She brushed away the dark hair covering his eye, smiling down at him softly.

"Dammit, why do I have to love you?" she whispered, "You're my boss; I shouldn't be feeling like this towards you."

Poe felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. It went unnoticed, the lady continuing to speak,

"I mean, you're the one I work for; surely it would be awkward if we were together.." she sighed, still relatively quiet, "But you're just too darn cute.."

He cracked open one eye, holding out his arms for her to fall into, "I.. I love you too.." he whispered, wrapping his arms around her loosely. She melted into his hold, taken aback by his confidence. Whilst he had stuttered, he also engaged in physical contact; something she was quite proud of him for.

"O-oh.." she said, realising his words as her face grew redder, "You heard all that?" Poe nodded against her back, having sat up to be closer to him. He felt the drowsiness he should have felt the previous night hit him like a train, finding himself almost unable to keep his eyes open.

"I-I'm tired.."

"Anything you could do with to help you sleep?" the (h/c)ette smiled jokingly.

"C-can you stay here..?" he whispered into her neck, having burried his face into her shoulder, "I-it's kind of comfortable.."

"Sure thing, Poe-Kun," she smiled, laying back down as the shy author snuggled closer to her, drifting into a much needed sleep.

#bsd edgar allen poe #bsd #bungou stray dogs #poe #poe x reader #x reader #character x reader #fluff #oneshot #anime #manga

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cynical-harlequin · 7 years ago

Note

Hi, I've been meaning to ask for a while but why do you like Holdo from TLJ so much? I'm genuinely curious because I didn't like her at all and it feels like we watched two different movies. I promise I won't argue with you about it, because we all have our favourite and un-favourite characters, I'm just asking because you're the only one on my dash who seems to like her.

Short answer: Her hair looks very lickable.

Actual answer beneath the cut

Disclaimer: Anybody who wants to drag me into discourse over this is very much welcome to - but I will only respond to discourse on the lickability of her hair.

First of all, I find this a little hard to answer specifically since you didn’t say if your dislike for her stems from her as a person or as a fictional character. So. Have some of both. Lbh I will be jumping back and forth between both.

Prior to watching TLJ I definitely liked her ~for the aesthetics~ and for Laura Dern’s interviews and for having another female character in a position of authority (or at all, TFA was to date the only SW movie where more than one woman had significant speaking role screen time) - one who, it looked like, would even get to have a stance of her own, would be a foil to Poe (Poe would be getting more plot!) and have a different way of leadership (more on Resistance internals!) I also liked what I’d heard about her from Leia, Last Princess of Alderaan, though I hadn’t read the book so my knowledge was second-hand, and I didn’t really pay attention to the info on her until after the movie. But I did like what I heard. They chickened out from making her explicitly pan but implied it, she also doesn’t differentiate by species (but apparently by the number of eyes, no more than three.) There’s a lot more stuff about her in the book but I didn’t pay attention to that until later.

As for the actual movie it’s very hard to go into that without talking about her conflict with Poe, since her whole storyline and plot relevance is intertwined with Poe’s storyline [this is an interesting point that got completely neglected in the “who is right” mud flinging - is her role some kind of feminist fake advertising since she is only relevant in as far as she is relevant to a man’s story? Ultimately I don’t think so but I’m also hella biased because I want all the screen time for Poe so… whatever.] I’ll try my best not to deviate into Poe rambling because lbr I’m always in danger of slipping into Poe ramblings.

I had mixed feelings about how they portrayed Poe’s story at first (and I really wish that one deleted scene with Kaydel saying they need more time would have been in the movie, to make his motivation more explicit - but then again that’s basically all the cut scenes, here’s to hoping for an extended edition one day) but Amilyn and their conflict was something I immediately liked about this storyline.

I promised myself I wouldn’t let too much of my frustration with SW discourse/debate culture bleed into this - it’s supposed to be a happy post! - but I just can’t not bring up how deeply disappointed I was by the way fandom immediately turned this into “one of them is a saint who never did any wrong once in their life and the other a privileged white bitch/a sexist macho asshole” when for me the whole appeal of their conflict in the movie was “they are both right and both wrong and both being assholes about it and that’s why things get so bad.”

For me, I could see where they were both coming from and how this led to a big conflict. I can definitely see someone being annoyed with Amilyn not telling the plan no matter what as a contrived plot device to keep beating a dead horse just so there’s time for the Finn and Rose plot to get in position. I wouldn’t have drawn it out like this but ultimately her motivation still pans out to me.

Now, for anything to make sense about this, we gotta be clear that I hold fictional people to different standards than real people. I don’t need fictional people to be likeable. I don’t need them to be good. The only thing that is unforgivable to me is if they’re boring (to me as characters, not to other in-universe characters.)

And Amilyn never bored me.

I really enjoyed getting to see a different leadership style and Resistance leadership being taken down from this pedestal. Leia makes mistakes as leader too but I don’t think we will ever see this explored at length, beyond implications. Amilyn was a fantastic opportunity to explore the flaws in how the Resistance is organized and led.

You have a conflict of mindsets here - the older generation in charge which expects the Resistance to work exactly as the Rebel Alliance worked. And the Alliance has a lot of “ours is not to question why, ours is but to do and die” - I mean, the Ghost crew nearly splits over this! We see it in Cassian’s story, the pride Draven and Mon Mothma take in having his unquestioning obedience in the… Mission Logs? One of these Rogue One supplementals, if you want I can look it up.

Then you have someone like Poe, who is from a generation raised in freedom and democracy, who takes it for granted that his leaders are held accountable. Who pushes and pushes harder and is used to having a leader who puts special trust in him (though Leia never answers his questions either in the comics, he just has a lot more hero worship for Leia plus getting answers isn’t so urgent, so he just goes and risks his life and the lives of his team on nothing but her word that this secret thing she ain’t telling him is important without truly pushing.) He’s also in a position where he is understandably extremely frustrated and feeling cornered to a high degree. […and now I could go off on Poe rambles again, BUT I SHALL RESIST]

So. BOOM. He goes about demanding answers in the worst way and Amilyn goes about denying them in the worst way.

I found this rock meets hard place a lot of fun to watch and very telling for both of them (but we’re talking about Amilyn, don’t drift off to talk about Poe, self.)

Now I said above that I do think her refusing to tell her plan makes sense to me beyond Needs of the Plot. Is she right? That doesn’t matter to whether I like a character. But it makes sense for her character motivations. She’s coming from another ship to take command in place of Leia Organa, who is revered by the Resistance, so she chooses to throw her weight around and go “my way or the highway” leadership style. Maybe not what modern psychology handbooks for executives would recommend but she’s military. It’s not shocking that the brass won’t explain themselves to someone who is a Captain, and at this point in the doghouse with their big leader. Sure. We know Poe is relevant. He is relevant to us as the audience. But to Amilyn, who comes from a different ship and never met Poe or was stationed in the same place as him, he is just Some Pilot Who Just Got Demoted After Fucking Up. Some pilot from the Starkiller Base heroics but considering destroying Starkiller didn’t actually stop the advance of the FO this won’t be particularly relevant to people at this moment.

I did say I see this as a nobody is right scenario and so yeah I see this as her digging in her heels by not telling him the plan and this makes things worse. It turned into some ridiculous tit for tat fight which went completely out of control.

Should have mentioned that above but oh yes she’s definitely wrong in how she (just like Leia) tears into Poe for his bad call of judgment - when the true problem the brass has with this isn’t that he went against orders, but that just this once he didn’t get out-of-this-world lucky, he only regular people lucky. Let’s remember Poe was recruited by the Resistance because he disobeyed orders, which got one of his pilots killed in a reckless stunt. Then it suited the Resistance so he got called a big fat hero for it. Every time he pulled off reckless stunts (and succeeded, against all odds, usually without too much loss, by skill and sheer luck) he got backpats. Then just once things go as you would expect things to go and he’s the villain. That’s an asshole move. 0/10. But it doesn’t make an unbelievable character trait. That’s actually the most realistic thing about the entire film for me.

I do think that she doesn’t pull off the warping into the enemy fleet until they’re down to one last rescue ship was contrived Needs of the Plot. That was bad storytelling which cheapened her moment of glory. It was still a sweet sweet moment but damn did I wish the screenwriters had been better at managing their multiple simultaneous scenes.

I feel like I have deviated too much to story significance and this is too tl;dr already so lemme see if I can cut myself short at least a little.

I like that she’s a different kind of military leader through her appearance alone, someone who is obviously really pushing the limits of what even laxer Resistance discipline will permit (and absolutely gets away with it only because she’s the boss.) That she is someone who uses appearances and the opinions people will base on her appearance to manipulate people’s impression of her - in many different ways. She is very aware of what effect she has when she wears this or does that. She grates against expectations, she doesn’t try to fit in.

She is a very stubborn, dig-in-her-heels leader who will absolutely be petty and overreact - but once the conflict is past she doesn’t hold a grudge. She speaks of Poe with respect and even fondness, showing for me that she enjoyed someone challenging her in this way, questioning everything, that she actually considers this a positive trait. I think she’s aware that the world has changed since the days of the Rebel Alliance, even if her awareness doesn’t go so far as to change herself. But yes, I was very surprised to see her not holding a grudge since you usually have these hardass brass characters being bitter and out to get you back for questioning their authority. I feel if she had survived, she would have had no problem working with Poe again.

To look at this scene on meta level, by her being established as Leia’s friend, she is also the only time in SW movie history that we get an important female character to have a connection to another (important-ish) living female character. After 8 movies, SW finally acknowledges on-screen that women might have other women as relevant people in their lives. It still doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test but oh well. We have learned to have low expectations.

Back to the plot, she doesn’t try to wrestle with authority for Leia, which is another stereotype I had expected to happen, which could have soured her character for me. But there was no catfighting over who gets to be the one extraordinary woman.

She is a very difficult to like person and I feel like that is very important, and why I like her as a character and enjoy her as an important addition to the Resistance characters we have.

Going back to Princess of Alderaan, I have since learned that she is into astrology (and has little enough fucks to give to introduce herself with this hobby at a super serious junior politicians thing) and her TLJ fashion is actually her being tame. Probably her military camouflage pastels! Younger Amilyn used to wear eye-searing colors and preferably all of the colors of the rainbow at once. And would then go and ask you if you liked her outfit!

I also really want to know more about the battle she is famous for and how she ended up in the military.

So. These are some points about why I like her. Pointedly this, best attempt not to deviate to fandom navel-gazing, to Poe ramblings (that one was semi-successful) and I think more successful in not going into justifications for liking her.

Side note: I’m aware I didn’t go into whether liking her is racist, which I know is a very common criticism, but this is a happy post and I have a lot of feelings on SW Tumblr fandom’s handling of Latino issues, which I don’t trust myself to go into while keeping this a happy post (and also I can’t go into it without going into personal experiences with racism which I don’t want to do on a post which could easily catch wank)

tl;dr: I like her because her hair looks lickable.

Please debate now on whether it looks like it tastes of raspberry or strawberry.

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akutagawaprize · 7 years ago

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No offence, but I feel as if in this chapter, the author got tired of this entire ark in general, as the entire situation was solved ridiculously fast. Now, I don't really understand Japanese, so this may not be accurate. But from what I see, both highly powerful opponents were ridiculously quickly subdued, and somehow Fitzgerald decided to side with the Mafia and the ADA for no reason. We didn't even get to know Fyodor's ability yet, and he's already defeated.

I, too, was disappointed in this chapter, but after collecting my thoughts, I decided that it wasn’t a bad way of ending this arc, if this indeed is the end. Sure it may have looked abrupt, but it could have been worse… Or so I like to tell myself.

(Warning: I try my best to be unbiased and objective but this may read like a lot of whining. Only proceed if you’re fine with that.)

The good:Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi; appearance of the rest of ADA and Port Mafia; Fitzgerald saving the day; Ango and his crew appearing; that not-so-subtle nod to Odasaku in the end

The “I don’t have much of a good or a bad opinion on this”:Shin soukoku new combo move; Chuuya still in the book

The bad:Quick resolution to the arc; implied lobotomy(!?); Dazai and his keikaku doori antics again; strange sense of déjà vu since they used practically same buildup as the last arc, but now it’s the remix version

First of all, I’ll just have to throw out my wildest (not really) theory out here: Fyodor is still the “final boss”. Come on, he gets the moniker “The Demon” and gets jailed off like that? No, no. It doesn’t make sense at all, at least to me. So my guess is that Agatha and the Order of the Clock Tower will swoop in to try and mess with the Agency, but when they’re on the verge of defeat, Fyodor steps in and uses this chance to strike ADA for himself. So uh Guild Arc 2.0. Or something along those lines. This could’ve been a test drive. Or he could have other Rats in Russia waiting for orders in case there’s a Phase II. Call me optimistic, but that’s what I would like to believe.

We jailbreak from Azkaban and invade Ministry of Magic now.

There really isn’t much to say about Dazai proving himself a formidable chessmaster again, other than I called it on an earlier ask. I just hope I’m not the only one tired of him being right all the damn time. No one can be that all-seeing…

People keep asking about Chuuya. Some were disappointed he only had one panel, some were rejoicing because it was “in-character” he stayed because he enjoyed fighting. But Ranpo kinda confirmed Chuuya stayed not because he wanted to beat people, but because it’s faster that way than using his brains? He’s not dumb, but come on, why would he prolong his stay if at that time his current concern was to protect Mori/kill off Fukuzawa? So yeah, his fate doesn’t really interest me, because I’ve always thought he was someone who is too popular to die… Not important, because sheesh let’s face it, Asagiri hasn’t really fleshed him out yet and doesn’t seem to have the intention of wanting to anytime soon. (Light novel soon please? Or a backstory in the movie if they wanna get dat yen lmao)

I’m more curious about how Ranpo got out, because the last time Poe trapped him, he was transported back with Yosano after solving the case. Was there some unwritten rule that a person can be selective with who he brings back with him? I hope we get clarifications on this, I’m a sucker when it comes to analyzing abilities and their corresponding limits and restrictions. It bugs me that in BSD there are a lot of additions and contradictions when it comes to abilities and that they come up only when it’s convenient to the plot. (For example, anyone can activate Doppo Poetry as long as they have a page with them. I don’t think it’s been mentioned before, but anyway it bothered me for some reason.)

Another big thing this chapter: Akutagawa’s promise to Atsushi. I got an ask talking specifically about this, so I’ll write a post about that later. For now, I can just say that it’s probably the best thing that’s happened to Akutagawa after the “You got stronger” shoulder pat. I’m not expecting him to turn over a new leaf, now full of hope and vigor for life, but he’s trying and he might come up with his own concluson to an unanswered question in his heart: “What is my life worth living for?”

Oh and Atsushi being able to rip out abilities… Imagine if Wolverine can No Longer Human enemies… I don’t like this at all, but what can you do, he’s the protagonist anyway so he gets a pass.So for now I’ll be bumping Atsushi to No. 2 of the most powerful known Ability users second only to Lovecraft. Granted, he had to team up with Akutagawa to come up with this Ultimate Dark Claw thing, but still. I guess I just like balance. In any case, one can argue that shin soukoku needs to grow stronger if they want to fend off the coming Europeans.

Food for thought: If Dazai can nullify abilities and Atsushi can also cancel out abilities with tiger claws, will they cause a singularity if they got into a serious fight?

Hmm.

Fitzgerald! He didn’t care about Fyodor getting his leftover assets actually, but remember, it was Fyodor who crashed Moby Dick. He also reasoned that while he has no interest in whatever he’s “left” behind, he didn’t want a rat using his leftover resources. In short, he did it to spite the Russian. So while I can respect that, I was still hoping that instead of Dazai coming up with the deal (how did he even know Fitz acquired Eyes of God?), it would be Katai who would call this to attention. After all, as someone who is knowledgeable about technology and electronics, he could have picked up information on Eckleburg. Of course, there’s a fair bit of chance that he heard about it from Ranpo or Atsushi (they were there when Alcott asked for help) but there was no explanation for how Dazai came to that knowledge. Ah. Well.

I mean, until now we don’t know how Natsume saved Katai.

Dazai then went on to say that Fitzgerald will declare war on them again so this + the yacht are the last friendly gestures they’re going to get from the Guild. Wonder what happens to Lucy and Poe now…

They totally could have asked for a Special Ability Permit in exchange for their services but okay Richard!

The victory afterparty. Kunikida and Katai were nowhere to be seen, so was Yosano. You know who else we haven’t seen? Hawthorne and Katsura. With Katsura, he could have been helped by Kunikida… who I believe is still mourning the deaths of the innocent children… They should really address that next chapter. Or whatever. As for our Winter Soldier, he’s either roaming around aimlessly or he was captured. Who knows? We don’t know how he got mind-controlled either (another Rat? or suffered a similar fate with Ivan…). But if his goal was to heal Mitchell, then Yosano is the perfect answer.

What else? Oh! Fuku wasn’t in the party too right? Meeting up with Natsume and Mori? I don’t know… As you can see, I come up with various scenarios and get them wrong 75% of the time. I was being dramatic too over Elise even though I knew she’d come back, but… This was fast. Glad to see her again though!

Oops. I rambled enough. Those were my thoughts, more or less. As I’ve said, it was a fairly standard BSD chapter. Disappointing, but still has a lot of loose ends which can be neatly tied up in upcoming chapters. I know a lot of people liked how this chapter ended, but… I’m not one of them, I’m afraid. I hope to be more enthusiastic about future chapters.

#asks #bungou stray dogs #text #spoilers #i suppose it's obvious i'm more plot > characters #though that can go hand-in-hand

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