#Plague Kiwi
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jellazticious · 7 months ago
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Pretending to be significant all by yourself, Handsome?
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jennifersmith-art · 2 years ago
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A kiwi bird in plague doctor cosplay.
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yourelessfast · 2 months ago
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Hi, remember me?
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I still think about Zip and friends, so I wanted to do a full team of the IDW villains, counterparts for Surge, Kit, Starline, and Mimic respectively.
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dollking081 · 1 month ago
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h..hahah,,ha hah. you ever think about how fragile and inefficient humans are? I' m so .
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anadorablekiwi · 2 years ago
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*rotates oc blorbos in mind*
I wish for more content for them all
But
That means me writing more content
Which is not desirable right now
Sadness
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windwenn · 1 year ago
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A sketch from yesterday
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calico-kiwi · 9 months ago
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desperately need to see Angel Dust smiling having the time of his life in a sundress + sun hat combo immediately now please
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renai-fr · 28 days ago
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Perler Flight Banners!
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Made the first of these when I made the flight flags a bit back (my flight, Light), and figured it was a good time to make the rest of the flight banners and share the designs! To the best of my ability, they're also to scale with each other, so I think they'd look pretty good if you wanted to make the whole set and put 'em on your wall or something.
Sort of also for Dergtober's first prompt ("Flight"), but uh, ran into that thing with trad media where sometimes you run out of materials, ha! This is also why they're mostly not fused (Ice and Water share most of their mid/light blue beads, for example).
(Crafting info after the break!)
First off, all of these are either 17x34 or 19x34 (these squares are 17x17 on their own). They fit fine on the larger squares, but my big squares happen to all be either bright red or bright yellow, and don't show off the colors very well. They almost all use transparent beads for structural reasons- if you want to cross-stitch these, the transparent beads are fine to ignore! I was just making them so they could theoretically hang on a wall.
Colors used (my best guess, not gospel! I get most of my beads from kits/mixed bags, and they don't always list the color names :/ )
Light: Cream/Créme, Yellow, Cheddar, Transparent
Lightning: Copper (metallic), Robin's Egg, Parrot Green, Glitter Blue, Turquoise, Transparent
Fire: Black, Cherry, Orange, Cheddar, Neon Orange, Transparent
Arcane: Pearl Pink, Cheddar, Raspberry, Pink, Light Pink
Plague: Red, Cherry, Raspberry*, Pewter, Brown, Kiwi Lime
Earth: Brown, Light Brown, Pewter, Dark Gray
Ice: Robin's Egg, Pastel Blue, Gray, Dark Gray, Toothpaste, Light Blue
Shadow: Pastel Lavender, Purple, Dark Gray, Pewter, Toothpaste, Transparent
Wind: Kiwi Lime, Dark Green, Bright Green, Yellow, Rust, Red, Transparent
Water: Denim, Turquoise, Pastel Blue, Parrot Green, Teal, White, Marshmallow, Pastel Yellow, Transparent
Nature: Olive, Bright Green, Kiwi Lime, Dark Green, Marshmallow, Cream/Créme, Transparent
(* I used Raspberry on Plague's flag because I ran out of Cranberry. Cranberry looks WAY better, but like... mismatched didn't work at all. I highly suggest using Cranberry in place of Raspberry in all places it occurs on the design!)
Another color note- when you fuse metallic beads, the shiny stuff makes a lil halo around the bead's center hole. For Lightning, since they have wires/chains on their banner/support, I figured it would work fine, but you could swap the Copper beads out for Rust and it would look good enough, I think. You do lose the shiny factor doing that, though.
A couple of these extend off of the side of the boards; better to use a bigger board for them if you have one (or like, if you have a third 17x17, sticking it to the side of the others and scooting the entire design over a peg would also work!)
As is very visible on the Light banner, it's really easy to get a faulty fuse where the boards meet. The trick where you put masking tape/painter's tape on the back of the beads before ironing (the OTHER side, and then take the tape off to iron its side, to be clear) helps a lot on multi-board fuses. You don't have to poke holes in the tape, but I find that doing so with a ballpoint pen or what have you can help a lot with keeping the beads from moving around, etc.
Happy crafting- if you end up making any of these, please ping me (or um, whatever I'm supposed to call it... still don't quite know how this site works) so I can see!
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sematarygirls · 2 months ago
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a couple more sonny carisi headcanons (nsfw ones in pink text 😏)
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he says the green m&m is his favorite even though they all taste the same
he's allergic to kiwis, not like deathly allergic, but his throat will get all itchy if he eats one.
also has insanely bad seasonal allergies. he's all stuffed up and nasally for most of spring when the pollin is really bad.
so so insanely dramatic when he's sick. constantly moaning and groaning and saying that he's dying (he's literally fine)
along with that, also insanely dramatic when you're sick. this man is compulsively wiping everything you touch with disinfectant wipes. you'd swear you had the plague with the way he was acting.
you can not watch legal or crime dramas with him. he is literally insufferable about it. he will nit pick every single thing and be like "that's not accurate! this is what would actually happen! 🤓☝️" and it drives you crazy.
he loves talking at all times, during sex is no different. half the time, he's complimenting you, telling you how much he loves every inch of your body or praising you, "you're doing so well for me, doll" and "goddamn, you're perfect"
the other half, though, is just him constantly checking on you. you're his main priority. he wants to make sure you are comfortable and pleased the whole time. "can i touch you, baby?", "you doin' alright, doll?" "yeah? you like that?" #consentking
he is veryyyy serious about his appearance. not really in a vain way, but more of a he feels the need to look put together at all times kind of way, so he is very well groomed. he's the kind of guy to make sure his nails are trimmed, face is shaved, hair is styled— he keeps himself looking very prim and proper.
he likes having a hand on the small of your back or an arm around your waist at all times when you're in public together. he likes touching you, having you close to him.
he can get a little handy occasionally, especially when he starts drinking, but a hand on your thigh is the farthest he'll go if you two are out. when you get home, though? his hands are all over you.
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kalorphic · 2 years ago
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can you rec a dark if like +18 ☠️ i want chaos. (u can ignore this btw)
DARK(ER) IFS
Okay, I found this one quite difficult because I don’t know what you would constitute as dark (especially considering that this community on tumblr doesn’t really do dark dark (that I’ve seen)), but I’ve managed to compile the list below. Most have demos and there aren’t as many which haven’t updated in months and months (but there are still a few).
I added IFs that used the words ‘dark’ or ‘horror’ in their descriptions and/or that were explicitly rated 18+. I then looked at content warnings - what they were, how extensive they were, and how intense they were.
If anyone wants their IF removed, please let me know (or added, but please keep the criteria(?) above in mind).
OFNA: Birds of a Feather by @ofna - Demo
Legend of a Savior by @legend-of-a-savior-if - Demo
Witches of Ferngrove by @witchesofferngrove - Demo
The Exile by @exilethegame - Demo
Remember, You Will Die by @vapolis - Demo
Project Hadea by @nyehilismwriting - Demo
The Goodfellows by @thecuriouseye - Demo
Event Horizon by @if-eventhorizon - Demo
Fellow Traveler by @robotvampire - Demo
We All Bleed Red by @lost-kiwi-dev - Demo
Mind Games: Trepidation by @bottlecaprabbitgames - Demo
Swallow the Dark by @swallowthedark - Demo
Sinners and Saints by @sinnersandsaints-linwrites - Demo
The Numbers Game by @thenumbersgameif - Demo
A Trial of Horror by @atrial-ofhorror-if - Demo
Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian by @defiledheartsblog - Demo
Haunt the Bodies by @hauntthebodies - No Demo
Kingdoms and Empires by @kingdoms-and-empires - Demo
Ballad of the Judgment Night by @nikkefort-dev - Demo
The Spirited: Origins by @yuveim - Demo
Fox of Sunholt by @foxofsunholt - No Demo (being rewritten)
My Beginning & My End by @chaosbringerx - No Demo
A Court of Serpents by @acourtofserpents - Demo
Ripper’s Plague: Ground Zero by @ripperplague - Demo (indefinite hiatus)
The Operative: Fires of Revolution by @theoperativeif - Demo
The Scars I Live With by @thescarsilivewith-if - No Demo
The Kiss of Midnight by @if-kissofmidnight - No Demo
An Ode to Dying Stars by @dyingstars-if - No Demo
Tainted Souls: Fables & Myth - The Bonded Awakening by @taintedsoul-if - Demo
Dark Impulses by @timidloner - Demo
The Inseparables by @theinseparables-if - No Demo
The Decoy by @alternatewriter - Demo
Softly, Opulent by @softlyopulent-if - Demo
Cheers to the Elites by @cheerstotheelites-if - Demo
The Weight of Yesterday by @theweightofyesterday-if - No Demo
What Lovely Bones by @whatlovelybones-if - Demo
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jellazticious · 6 months ago
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Science and Magic
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The Arcana Mini-HCs: Brainrot's Masterlist, Pt 3
When MC loves all animals
M6's child has the Devil for a patron
Dipping the M6
When MC chugs their drinks
MC with agoraphobia
When MC's familiar is a hive of bees
M6 when MC gets COVID
MC who pets all animals
Ice skating with M6
M6 with an expressive drunk MC
When M6 catch their kids sneaking out
MC asking for a fake breakup so they can enjoy sad songs
M6 with a pirate MC
Pre-plague friendships with M6
When MC has a cute sneeze
M6 getting a surprise water call from MC
Hearing MC sleep talk about them
M6 when their kid has body image issues
M6's teen gets a surprise tattoo
When MC is half-blind and has facial scars/paralysis
When MC comes home in a cast
MC showing M6 favoritism
Wrapping M6 in a weighted blanket when they're panicking
When MC has a twin who is their polar opposite
M6 when MC makes excuses about treats
M6 helping MC cut their hair
Brainrot and the M6
MC with "unusual" top surgery scars
When MC's heard something hurtful
Seeing MC belly laugh for the first time
M6 realizing how much they love MC
When MC's body insecurity makes them embarrassed
Stargazing
M6 accidentally feeding MC soap
When MC goes into the cold in a T shirt
M6 when MC makes lame jokes
M6 saying "they asked for no pickles" for MC
When MC is a blacksmith magician
MC squeaking when they fall out of bed
M6 find their child's diary
Playing with M6's hair
MC and M6 have surprise twins
MC bringing home random animals
Orpheus and Eurydice crossover
When MC tells a dirty joke
M6 when their kid has a fictional crush
M6's kid saying their first swear word
MC with a scar on their chest
Nonverbal "I love you"s
M6 when their kid's tamagotchi dies on their watch
Neko!MC
When MC gets sleepy-cute
MC cuddling M6 on their chest
When MC twitches as they fall asleep
M6 when their kid calls them the coolest
M6 when someone lies that they cheated
MC hiding an injury because they think they'll get lectured
M6 hearing MC say "tarot deck" in a Kiwi accent
M6 with a biology nerd
MC with arthritis
When MC bakes after dark
M6's dancing styles
M6 and their kid's birthday party
When M6's kid says they have raisins because they're a unicorn
MC falls down the stairs and pretend they're fine
MC falling asleep on M6's shoulder
When MC accidentally says "you're so beautiful" out loud
M6 when MC sleeps on the floor
MC is a Malfetto
With a detective MC
When MC keeps M6's picture in a locket
Sitting in M6's lap
Yearly Valentine's traditions
When Artist!MC gets frustrated and screams
M6 when a kid says they'll marry MC
MC using incorrect item names
MC wearing sfx makeup that makes them look hurt
Nicknames
M6 when their kid gets stood up
When M6 overhear rude comments about MC
When MC is really good at rhythm games
MC makes their own card deck
How many kids the M6 want
MC is a playwright
When MC is a psychology nerd
People-pleaser MC says "no"
When MC is struggling with LEGOs
M6's kid copying them swearing
M6 when their kid bids at an auction
MC gets temporary amnesia
When MC leaves M6 little love notes
M6's kid covering themself in temporary tattoos
When MC has a hard time reading out loud
M6 with a super smart MC
When MC is alone on Valentine's Day
M6 being lied to about MC cheating
M6 when their kid puts everything in their mouth
M6 in a haunted house
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thescarletnargacuga · 5 months ago
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Art: @iamespecter
CHAPTER FIVE
Racing AU!
Caine's been shot by cupid's digital arrow! He's falling harder than a stone, losing control even. Is he losing control or just experiencing digital hallucinations? Jax knows something Pomni needs to know, can she beat it out of him on the track?
WARNING: cartoon racing violence
Caine floated with his arms and legs crossed. He hadn't taken his eyes off the red door for nearly twelve hours. The silence of his workshop was only broken by his fingers tapping anxiously against his arm. He glared at the door, daring it to move.
"Hey, boss-"
"GAAAAH! BUBBLE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!?" His voice garbled some distortion as he righted himself from nearly doing a backflip.
"Really? I thought you were having a staring contest with the door. Did you win?"
Caine dragged his hand down the front of his teeth. "No, Bubble...I was just... checking something. What do you want?"
"It's almost race time, boss."
He checked his wacky watch. "Byte biscuits, I don't have one ready. Guess we'll do a repeat today, but an old one. Makes it uh...what's the word?"
"[%$!#]?" Bubble smiled.
Caine gave Bubble a deadpanned look of disappointment. "No. Nostalgic! That's the one. And it'll be new to our newer racers anyway." He looked at the door again, half expecting it to be gone. It remained. "Bubble, I have a task for you. Stay here. If that door disappears, tell me right away. Got it?"
"On it, boss!" Bubble took Caine's place of hovering in front of the red door.
Caine snapped his fingers and the assets he needed for today's race disappeared from the workshop. He mentally assembled the map as he made sure he was ready to host. Coat? Check. Cane? Check. Hat? Check. A quick look in the mirror to see if he had something stuck in his teeth, he never did, but he always checked anyway. He had to look his best, especially now that he knew that Pomni paid attention. She said he did good! He wondered if she'd say it again sometime. It was so nice to hear.
"Alright, Bubble! I'm off! Remember, if that door so much as twitches out of place, tell me." He vanished with a snap.
~
Pomni was having her first digital breakfast. At least, that's what everyone else called it. Unless someone requested a specific dish, the assortment of food on the table was completely random. She didn't feel hungry, but her mind was certain she needed to eat. When was the last time she had food? What was her last meal in the real world? She took a bite of palagonal chicken before she started trauma spiraling again.
Gummigoo sat next to her enjoying some caramel filled chocolate eggs. He too was using food as a distraction from the thoughts that plagued his confused mind. This was life now. His last life being entirely made up, he had to try and make a new one. A real one. ...how? He monched another egg to silence the questions.
"You two are awfully quiet." Ragatha said from across the table.
Pomni and Gummigoo gave each other with knowing glaces. "Just hungry." "Yeah."
"They're still adjusting." Kinger said poignantly. "Give them time." He put an indeterminate fruit to his face and a bite disappeared from it. "Ooh, kiwi."
Zooble offered a piece of toast to Gangle, who took a small bite. "Kinger's right. Don't you remember how long it took you to adjust? Took you a month to stop screaming every time Caine showed up."
"He wore earmuffs every time he visited." Gangle giggled.
"What can I say? He was scary to look at. All teeth and eyes and eugh." Ragatha shivered.
Jax was at the end of the table. Chair tipped back, feet up. "So, you're saying Caine made you scream? How scandalous." He smirked when he got the exact reaction he thought he'd get out of her. He flattened his ears as he dodged the bowl of potatoes she threw at him.
Gummigoo didn't really get the joke but smiled all the same. Watching them all interact like this, joshing each other and having fun despite the circumstances. He could get used to this. "So uh... the races. When do they usually happen?" He rubbed his head. He hadn't quite processed the massive garble of information Caine dumped into his code.
"Roughly mid-day. Not that any of us have a real perception of time here, just going by the day/night cycle outside." Ragatha answered. "And the races last until everyone has crossed the finish line three times. However long it takes."
"So if you fall behind, everyone has to wait on your slow sorry [%$!#] to finish." Jax added.
"Well, you won't have to worry about me. Slow isn't in my lexicon." Gummigoo winked.
Jax rolled his eyes. "The flying chatter box will be here soon and I got some adjustments I need to make." He stood.
"This isn't an airport. You don't have to announce your departure." Zooble jabbed. Gangle put her ribbons over her mouth to cover her smile.
Jax held up his hand and his gesture was censored as he walked away. Zooble returned the gesture.
Pomni excused herself under her breath and followed Jax. He preoccupied himself with his kart. He didn't look at her but acknowledged her presence. "What do you want, short stack?"
She ingnored the name and looked back to make sure everyone else was still at the table before answering. "I wanted to ask you something. A-about the void."
He froze in place for a second before continuing messing with the buttons. "What about it?"
"You've been there, right? You mentioned it my first day."
"I might have. What's it to ya?"
"Well, I-..." She got quiet. "I may have accidentally ended up there. Yesterday. Through a door. And an office. Uh- it was weird, anyway, do you know anything about the void?"
"I may or may not. What's in it for me if I tell ya?"
"Uh...I don't know. I just-"
"Thought I'd tell you what I know for free? Tsk, tsk. That's no fun. Tell you what..." He submitted his selections and the kart lowered back to the ground. He looked down at her with the biggest grin. "Beat me in today's race, and I'll tell ya what I know."
"What? You don't care about winning! You said so yourself!"
"I don't, but now, it seems there may be something worth competing for after all. The satisfaction of knowing something that you don't." His grin widened with a evil glint in his eye.
"Fine. Give me your word that you'll tell all when I beat you."
"If, short stack, if." He held out his hand for a shake. He gripped her hand hard and leaned down close. His voice a dark whisper. "You've never seen me race when I gave a [%$!#]. You think I'm a problem now? You ain't seen nothing yet."
Pomni stood her ground despite the nauseating anxiety that bubbled in her gut. "Game on, then."
Jax looked ready to burst with joy. "Game on."
"Hello, my tasty toasters!" Caine appeared out of thin air over the table. Startling only Gummigoo. "Are you ready to race? We're doing a classic today! An oldie but a goodie! Join me outside and see!" He zipped over to Pomni and held out his hand. "I'm especially excited to show you this track, Pomni. It's very thematic to your attire."
"Uh...okay." She hesitated but took his hand and flew with him right through the wall like a couple of ghosts.
Gummigoo walked out with the others. "Is he always this... eccentric?"
"Nah, this is actually pretty tame for him. His latest project must be giving him problems." Ragatha shrugged.
The outside had been transformed into the inside of a massive yellow and red tent. The track ramped up from the start; spiraling and winding through hoops of fire, impossible long jumps and loop-the-loops. Toy-like, but life sized, animals played with balls and balloons and popcorn. Faceless figurines danced on tightropes and trapeze.
"Welcome, to the Circus!" Caine announced, followed by the standard fanfare of the NPC audience. Fireworks went off overhead and he looked to Pomni for approval. Time was doing something weird as he watched her expressions. It was going so slow. The sparkle and flare of the fireworks reflected in her wide, colorful eyes. He felt fuzzy, like his core was made of static. He still held her hand, the way it fit in his suddenly felt significant. When she looked at him with an amused smile, he nearly fell out of the air. He slowly let her back down, but forgot to let go.
"Uh, Caine?" Pomni asked as she tried to pull her hand away. Gangle covered her mouth in a silent gasp and shook Zooble with excitement. Zooble just let it happen, Gangle often got excited over little things and they weren't going to deny her expression.
"Oop- right, apologies." Caine cleared his throat. "As I was saying, welcome to the Circus! To our return racers, welcome back! The Circus is a twisting good time where you'll perform jaw dropping stunts from heart stopping heights at mind bending speed! The more tricks you show off, the more points you achieve!"
"Wait, heights?" Pomni asked nervously.
"Oh yeah, BIG heights." Jax came up behind her and pointed out the largest drop on the track. A sign made of flashing colorful lights saying "The High Dive" hung precariously over the edge of a hundreds foot high ledge that sloped like a ski jump, a speed boost flashing red and orange all the way down.
Pomni gulped.
"Don't worry, Pomni." Ragatha shoved Jax away. "Remember you have a glider, and the tricks can be whatever you want. Just go with what feels right. Caine's pretty easily impressed." She escorted Pomni to her kart, keeping an eye on Jax.
Gummigoo whistled. "Crikey, this is what we do here?"
"Pretty much." Said Zooble. "Just roll with it."
"Works for me." He saw everyone go to their respective kart, so he mounted his bike at the end of the line.
"Racers! Start! Your! Engines!!" Caine shouted into the mic. The revving of the engines nearly drowned out the cheering crowd. Without Bubble around, two smaller bubble assistants held the starting light.
First light.
Jax looked back at Pomni with a smarmy grin.
Second light.
Pomni narrowed her eyes at him, determined not be intimidated. At least, not outwardly.
Third light.
"Wait, which button was for the glider?" She thought outloud.
GREEN!
No time to think, Pomni floored it to take off with the pack. Gummigoo zoomed past her, his bike accelerating much faster than any kart. She watched him weave in between Zooble and Kinger and disappear. She took a breath and focused on the first jump; the smallest with a short boost on the ramp. She jumped it without doing a trick, opting to watch the others first.
Jax and a few of the others spun 360°, earning them a few points on the leaderboard. "Okay...that doesn't seem too hard. I can do this."
~
"And they're off! Jax is leading by five lengths with Kinger right behind him! Gummigoo in third with a strong start! Ragatha and Gangle are tying for fourth! Pomni is keeping up in sixth and Zooble brings up the rear! Get it in gear, Zooble! You don't want to be the last in line for the fun!" Caine laughed.
~
Pomni got her first item, a bubble. "What!? What do I do with this!?" She held it out away from her, it's beady eyes looked at her vacantly over its sharp toothed grin. She wasn't paying attention and ran right into a bar of soap. But she didn't spin out.
"Nom nom nom, mmmmm! Tasty!" Then the bubble popped.
"Wha-...I guess it does that." She turned a corner and came to the first loop. She hit the boost that circled the length of the loop and felt her face pull back from the force of the acceleration. She'd scream if she could breathe. She kart pulled ahead of Ragatha's at the bottom and flew off a big jump. She panicked and starting hitting ALL the buttons. "Come on, come on, where's the-"
FWOOF!
Her glider deployed unexpectedly as it jerked her out of freefall. The sudden motion made her let go of the steering wheel and she glided off course.
~
"Whoops! Looks like someone needs a little course correction!" Caine snapped his fingers and a cloud of bubbles pushed Pomni back on course in time for her to land. "Don't forget! Tricks are the name of the game! Even someone in last place can win with enough trick points! Wow the crowd!"
~
Pomni could throw up, she really could. She fought the feeling as she got her next item, hoping for something useful. Jax was far ahead, in position and points, and she needed to catch up or never hear what he knew about the void. She got a golden cupcake and ate it immediately. Her kart went faster and she gained her ground back from flubbing the jump. She passed Ragatha and made ground on Gummigoo. Shells flew as Jax released three white ones. Pomni and Kinger swerved around them, one got Gummigoo and he fell behind.
"How did he have THREE!?" She screamed.
"Multi-shell. Very useful." Kinger's calm tone barely carried to Pomni. "You having fun?"
Pomni didn't get a chance to answer. The track curved sharp right and Kinger didn't turn with it. He hit the wall and was left behind. Pomni barely made the turn while Jax effortlessly drifted through it.
Jax looked back, pleased that Pomni didn't crash with Kinger. This would be awfully boring if she couldn't keep up.
~
"Oh! That had to hurt! Kinger moves down three places! Gummigoo shook off the shell like a champ and is gunning for lap leaders Jax and Pomni! Ragatha is fighting for her life dodging a shell from Gangle! The girls are on fire today!" Caine spun and flipped in the air as he made his announcements. "Up next is the elephant pyramid! The third largest jump on the whole track! Let's see those moves, racers!"
~
Jax made the jump and did an aileron roll, earning him lots of points.
Pomni took the jump and tried twisting her kart for a trick. Instead of spinning horizontally, she tipped forward into a front flip and almost didn't rotate back upright before landing. This time, she did puke, black bile slicking the track behind her. "Ugh, what the [%$!#] is this course!"
Gummigoo saw the mess in time and avoided it. Gangle, who finally made it past Ragatha, wasn't so lucky and slid into the wall. Gummigoo caught up with Pomni. "Hey! You alright!?"
"Yeah, just jump jitters!" She tried to laugh it off.
~
"Clean up on aisle Pomni! Good to get it out before taking on the flaming spiral! That'll really throw you for a loop! Haha- Oh no! Watch out for the cube of face painted dogs, Zooble! Ooooo that's going to leave a mark!"
~
Pomni had a death grip on her steering wheel as she fought the g-forces through the spiral. She lost all sense of up or down. The fire was thankfully only for visual effect. She and Gummigoo were still neck and neck behind Jax. Signs for the High Dive flew by as they approached the main attraction.
Jax had an orange shell at the ready for whoever got close first. Then his ear twitched. A high pitched whistling sound in the distance was getting closer. He slammed his brakes, forcing Pomni and Gummigoo to swerve away. He managed to get outside the blast radius just in time for the purple shell to target the new 1st place holder.
Gummigoo backflipped and was left stunned on the track. "That sugar huffing banker!" Gummigoo snorted angrily and kicked his bike back into gear. Other racers flew by, putting him down several slots.
Pomni put the petal to the floor and went past Jax as he laughed at Gummigoo. Her glare met his shock.
"Huh!?"
"Missed me, [%$!#]!" Pomni threw the popper she'd been holding.
~
"AND POMNI TAKES THE LEAD! She's in her element! She'll be the first over the High Dive!" Caine left his booth to witness it himself. The High Dive was a super long jump that had racers glide all the way to the finish line.
~
Pomni went over the edge and hit the boost that stretched the length of the slope. Faster. Faster! Hitting the bottom of the jump at top speed she flew into the air. Her heart was racing. Everything felt in slow motion. Tricks. Was the one word sent to the front of her mind. Just with thought, her kart twisted and flipped, performing an aeriel twist. She deployed her glider afterwards, afraid to free fall any farther.
~
Cane's bottom jaw fell and hit an NPC on the head. "We've never seen that move before! A tremendous display!"
~
Pomni hit the ground running and crossed the finish line to complete lap one. "Holy [%$!#]! Holy [%$!#]! Holy [%$!#]! How did I do that!?" She was shaking with fear and excitement. The rush she felt her first day was coming back. It felt so good.
BAM! The back of her kart was rammed. She looked back to see a scorched purple rabbitoid in an orange tracksuit glaring daggers at her. "You think that was funny!? I'll show you funny!!" He rammed her again.
She tried to speed away but the windy first portion of the track was slowing her down as she struggled with the drifting mechanic. The first jump separated them. She spun and hit the ground with better speed and got to the surprise boxes first. Her new item was a cane. She immediately threw it at Jax.
Jax avoided the cane and threw his orange shell. The shell found its mark, but in his haste, he threw it in a corner and it ricocheted around back to him. They both spun out and didn't pay mind the other racers as they struggled to get ahead of only each other.
~
"Some one get some ice because the competition is one FIRE! I haven't seen two racers target each other more since last season's finale! They're playing for keeps!" Caine was absolutely giddy. He considered the fierce competition excellent feedback. He'd have to mark this track as a favorite.
~
Pomni pushed Jax away from a surprise box, using a move from his playbook, and stole the item. It was just a bar of soap but she used it anyway in the slight hope it would trip him up.
Jax avoided it by keeping his distance for the next jump, using the opportunity to rack points. Afterwards, he got a golden cupcake and boosted past Pomni, regaining his lead. Jax watched her fall behind in his rearview and took a breath. "Little squirt is made of tougher stuff than I thought."
After going over the elephant jump, Pomni got an item in the form of a toy train. Unsure of how to use it, she dropped it. Letting go activated it, turning her kart into a high speed steam train engine. In her surprise, she barely had any control and hit Gangle and Gummigoo, knocking them both into a spin. "Sorryyyyy!" She cried from the cab of the roaring steam engine. It only lasted a few seconds before he kart went back to normal.
~
"CHOO CHOO! Look out! Locomotive Pomni is on the track and she is taking no prisoners! Who's first!? Who's last!? I DON'T KNOW! WHO CARES!" Caine was having the time of his life.
~
With a shell, Jax was delayed enough for Pomni to get ahead, but just barely. "I won't let you have this!" Jax angrily pulled up and pit maneuvered her before the apex of the High Dive. They hit the boost with Pomni sliding sideways in front of Jax's kart. He rammed her side to pin her kart in place and started cackling at Pomni's look of fear as they continuously accelerated to the bottom. "Ready to fly!?"
Pomni's kart rolled over and over and over in the air. She could barely get her hand to the glider, she felt so discombobulated. The glider uprighted her, but Jax had a hefty lead gliding to the finished line and completing the second lap. She came down hard, having deployed her glider at the last second.
"Pomni! Are you okay!? You got tossed pretty hard!" Ragatha kept herself even with Pomni, having witnessed her barrel roll thanks to Jax.
"I'm fine! Not even dizzy!" This was a lie. She could barely see straight.
"Maybe you should back off of Jax! I'm all for kicking his tail but he can be intense! Don't start anything!"
"I didn't start this, but I'm going to finish it!" Pomni used a cupcake and hit a booster lane, rocketing away to catch up with Jax. The forces of the acceleration didn't even effect her this time. She confidently went into the turns, still unable to drift properly, but managed to keep enough of her speed to close the gap between her and Jax.
Jax looked back just in time for Pomni to sideswipe him into the curved wall. Sparks flew, slowing them down but not stopping. "You little-!" His arm was long enough to reach Pomni's steering wheel and tried to force her to steer away from him. She fought back with all her might.
"I'll make you eat that wall! You'll tell me what you know through broken teeth!"
"Not on your life!" He activated a chili pepper and held Pomni's wheel as he blew fire in her face point blank.
~
"Holy Raviolis!" Caine gripped his cane hard with both hands. "Things just keep heating up! This is getting intense! Let's hope Pomni gets out of this one! Oh and uh, Ragatha took a bite out of Gummigoo's tail for hitting her with a popper, or...something. COME ON, POMNI!!"
~
Pomni threw a shell in Jax's face. He threw a cane. She threw soap. He drifted into her. She accelerated into him. They threw simultaneous shells mid glide.
"Give it up, Pomni! You're not winning this!" He hoped she didn't notice the waver in his bravado. Pomni was proving to be an aggressive adversary, even Ragatha would have given up by now. She rolled with the punches and served them right back. He'd never admit it, but he was starting to feel a smidge of respect.
Pomni got another train and railroaded him with a whistling war cry. He spun out, giving her a new lead. Pomni started laughing. "Come on! Is that all You've got, Jax!?"
Jax held a purple shell in his hand. "No."
Pomni's eyes widened with fear. All the cockiness left her body in an instant. She shut her eyes and braced for impact. Nothing happened. She opened her eyes to see the shell fly off into the distance.
"God [%$!#] [%$!#]!" Jax hit his dash, enraged. He'd completely lost track of where they were in the line up. Apparently, they were not at the front.
"Ha!" Cockiness restored, she blew a raspberry at Jax. She hit the last surprise box, but couldn't use it because Jax immediately slammed into her kart.
~
"Today is just not Gummigoo's day! That's the second purple shell he's taken to the face this race! Hey, that rhymed. AND KINGER TAKES THE GOLD! Followed by Ragatha, Gangle, Gummigoo, and Zooble! Only two racers left! Who are REALLY taking their time! Hurry up, you two!" He checked his wacky watch. No notifications.
~
Jax and Pomni ground the paint off their karts ramming together, trying to slow the other down before the High Dive. "Hey! Because I know you won't win this, I'll tell you one thing! The void isn't as empty as we've been told!"
"WHAT!?"
The distraction worked. Jax cranked his wheels towards her until they both spun. He pulled out of the spin in time to hit the drop the right way. Pomni went backwards. Hitting the booster, she accelerated uncontrollably towards the bottom. On a wing and a prayer, she activated her last item. A top hat appeared. It looked like Caine's.
She put on the hat and it floated over her head. A sparkly silver red light engulfed her and the kart. She felt different. Powerful. She cranked the kart around and zoomed down the ramp faster than the booster would go. The world warped around her as she flew off the end, trailing light like a comet. She made a B-line for the finish line, the light around her carrying her through the air without a glider.
Jax was at the finish line when he was slammed by a tremendous force. Something landed right on top of him and he slid across the line. He slumped over his steering wheel, head throbbing.
The hat's light went out the moment Pomni crossed the finished line. Her kart came to a rest close to Jax and she felt a gurgle in her stomach. She barely got her head over the side before more black bile poured out of her. She coughed and spat, but overall, felt pretty good.
Kinger was once again in the winner's circle, being congratulated by Caine. He smelled the flowers on the winner's wreath and smiled in his own way when little bees came to have a smell too. "Hello, little ones, there's plenty to go around." He sat down and let the little bees smell his flowers.
Ragatha and the others ran over to Pomni and helped her out of her kart. "You look awful! I think you overdid it with this race."
"Naaaah, I'm fiiiine. What's the score, Magathy?"
Ragatha almost laughed, but her motherly concern overrode the urge.
"You and Jax tied for last place, but you got more trick points so you scored 6th." Zooble said.
"I did? I beat Jax? YES! YOU HEAR THAT!? I WON!!" Pomni yelled at the top of her lungs followed by a manic laugh.
"Let's...get you inside." Gangle opened the door for them.
"Wait! Wait! Where's Gum-goo? How'd he do?" Pomni looked around, seeing three of everything.
He poked his head out from around Ragatha. "Fourth. Would've been first if not for the shell. What even is a seashell? Why do they explode?"
"Roll with it." Zooble reminded.
"Right."
Pomni flopped face first on one of the couches. She needed a minute or ten to recover.
~
Jax jerked up from his steering wheel when something kept poking the back of his head. He was about to shout a string of obscenities when he saw it was Kinger. "Ugh. Go away. My head's killing me." He got out of his kart and stretched.
"I found insects!" Kinger showed off the bees buzzing around his flower wreath.
"Good for you, Kinger." he started walking to the garage.
~
Bubble had stayed in front of the red door, sometimes licking it out of boredom. The door didn't do anything. However, some distance away, a small candy butterfly asset glitched to life with a subtle blue hue and fluttered over to Bubble. "OoOoOoOo candy!" Bubble chomped at the butterfly but missed. They chased after it, abandoning their post.
The door flickered and then disappeared.
~
Caine appeared inside the garage. "Well done today, everyone! Very well done! Especially you, Pomni! You showed real courage throwing yourself off those jumps!"
Pomni weakly held a thumbs up.
Jax and Kinger walked in and Jax threw himself into a bean chair across from the exhausted Pomni. Kinger led his little bee friends to his room.
"The race was especially exciting thanks to these two wild warmongerers!" Caine pointed out the worn out jester and rabbit. "I think I'll keep that track close at hand! All the high flying action was a sight to behold! Now rest up! As always, we have a big race tomorrow!" He patted Pomni gently on the head before disappearing.
Ragatha sat down at the end of the couch by Pomni's feet, Gummigoo claimed a recliner, Gangle and Zooble on the other couch. "What happened out there?" Ragatha asked.
"Honestly, you two were out for blood." Gummigoo added.
Jax sighed loudly to convey his annoyance. "We made a bet."
"What was worth trying to kill each other over?" Asked Zooble.
Neither Jax nor Pomni answered. Both avoided any eye contact.
"Was it a kiss?" Asked Gangle.
Pomni shot upright. "NO!!"
Jax bust out laughing.
"Okay, good, I don't know if Caine is the jealous type but he's too powerful to easily test that theory."
"What are you talking about?" Pomni asked, more confused than ever.
"Wait, you haven't noticed?"
"Notice what?"
"The way he sought out your approval, the way he looked at you before the race, they way he wouldn't let go of your hand? I notice these things." Gangle smiled proudly.
Jax laughed even harder. His sides were splitting as much as his head but that was the funniest thing he ever heard.
"Come on, Gangle, Caine fishes for compliments all the time about his work." Ragatha rationalized. "He's done that to all of us at some point."
"No, no, no, this was different! He looked at her the way Zooble sometimes looks at me!" Gangle hugged Zooble's arm. The edges of Zooble's head tinged purple.
Jax loudly gagged. "One, ew, Zooble. Two, Caine's an A.I., he doesn't know what love is. It's a human thing."
"Oi! I'll have you know that where I came from there where families and couples and friends and brothers! We know what love is. Even if it was just written in and never experienced." Gummigoo crossed his arms indignantly.
"He's got a point." Ragatha shrugged. "And Caine is very advanced. Maybe he does have a crush."
"Awfully quiet over there, Pomni." Jax chuckled.
"I-...uh, I don't know. I didn't see it. I mean...yeah, he didn't want to let go of my hand, but I thought that was normal Caine weirdness."
"Fair, but what will you do if he does have a crush?" Gangle asked, eager to know.
Pomni thought for a moment. "I don't know. Really. I don't know how to feel about it at all. I haven't been here a week and after everything that's happened, now I get to add 'suspected romantic interest from the leading A.I.' to the list?" She put her head in her hands. "It's a lot."
"Could be our ticket out of here." Said Jax. "We've tried everything to escape. Except flirting our way out. Never realized it was an option."
Pomni looked around the room. All of them were looking at her. "You can't be serious."
"As digital purgatory." Jax said.
"It's worth a try." Zooble added.
"Oh, is it!? Then you try!" Pomni flushed, her pale skin turning an ashy grey.
"Nope. I'm already taken." They put an arm around Gangle. "And I don't share."
"Okay, I think that's enough. Pomni's had an exciting day and we shouldn't get carried away with what could be a glimmer of hope for freedom. Let's settle down with some dinner, yeah?" Ragatha gave Pomni an apologetic look and got up to go to the dining table.
"I could eat." Gummigoo stood and put a hand on Pomni's shoulder. "For what it's worth, I'd understand if he did have feelings for you. You're easy to like." He gave her a wink and walked away. Gangle and Zooble joined him.
Pomni dragged her hands down her face, then stood and stared Jax down. "We need to talk."
"Let's take a walk, then." He begrudgingly got up and went outside with her. Outside was sunny, late afternoon. The grassy hills beyond the test track rolled on to the distance with no end in sight in any direction. He took a small box out of his pocket, popped a small white stick in his mouth and offered to Pomni.
Pomni took one out the box and put the end in her mouth. It was a candy stick. Lemon sherbet flavor. "Thanks."
"Sure. So. What do you want to know?" He casually put his hands in his pockets.
"Everything. But let's start with how you ended up in the void."
"Completely accidental. Back when Caine allowed us to accessorize our karts as much as we liked, I used ALL of them until the kart barely functioned without glitching."
"Why?"
"Just to see what would happen. Anyway, I spun out from a shell and the collision physics did not like my kart. Next thing I knew, I was out of bounds."
"That happened to me and Gummigoo."
"You gonna let me finish?"
"Sorry."
"While I was looking for a way out, I found what I thought was an exit. Big red door, couldn't miss it. But I found myself in a really weird liminal space. Empty hallways and offices."
"Did you hear it?"
"The voice? Oh yeah, knew my name and everything. It led me through a door to the void."
"Did it say anything else?"
"Not much. Something along the lines of 'help' and 'find me'. Caine got me out of there pretty quick. Said I was experiencing 'digital hallucinations' or something."
"That's EXACTLY what happened to me. Except, I didn't go through the door out of bounds. It was on the test track."
"What?"
"Yeah, and it wasn't there when Caine brought me back."
"Huh. Weird."
"How would it do that? Why would it do that?"
"I dunno. Maybe Caine is [%$!#] with us. Make us think we're crazy so we give up? If that door is moving around, it ain't an accident. Only Caine can move assets in and out of bounds."
"...yeah." Pomni chewed on her candy stick in thought.
"Look. If Caine has taken a liking to you. Use it to our advantage, will ya? Pry some answers out of him. I guarantee he isn't telling the truth about things. You don't know what it's like yet being under his thumb for years on end." Jax's ears folded back and he looked away.
"I'll...see what I can do." She started to walk back to the garage.
"Hey."
She looked back.
"Good race today. Most fun I've had in years."
She smiled. "I'll see about making a habit of kicking your [%$!#] then."
"Heh, you wish." Jax stayed out a bit longer, looking out to the horizon.
~
Caine brought all the circus assets out of bounds and made a separate area to store it. These were special now. "There we go. Now I just need to try and sort out the- oh hey, Bubble. BUBBLE!?"
Bubble drifted by chasing a butterfly. "Oh, hey, boss. How was the race?"
"What are you doing here!? What about the door!? ...is that butterfly active?" He snapped his fingers and the butterfly fell lifelessly to the ground.
"Thanks, boss!" Bubble ate the butterfly.
"Bubble, no! I need to examine that!" He grabbed Bubble, pried their mouth open and dug around inside. "Ah-ha!" Caine proudly took out the butterfly covered in soapy saliva. "Now, why would an asset be flying around without my permission? That doesn't make sense." He turned it over in his hands, then made it hover, and with a snap of its fingers, it unfolded into strings of code. "Hmm...nothing seems out of the ordinary. Except the unauthorized activation. But that could be a glitch." With a wave of his hand, the butterfly code vanished entirely.
"But that can't be that big of a deal, right? Glitches happen. Heheh..." He did not make himself feel better. It had been a very long time since he'd received any kind of system update or patch. He squeezed and twisted his cane anxiously.
"Nah, not a big deal at all! You're the host, boss. You can probably fix it."
"Yeah...fix it. Wait a second, the door! Stop distracting me!" He popped Bubble and teleported to where he last had the door. The empty space confirmed his fear. An asset had gone rogue. What's worse, an asset that led to the void. "I should have deleted it when I had the chance."
~~~
Ch1 prev next
Please leave a comment! I love reading them!🙏
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Leon Kennedy headcanons because he has infected my little homosexual monkey brain like the plague
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- Bites the skin on his lower lip as a habit and picks at it mindlessly
- Like he won’t even realize his lip is bleeding
- Leon has sharp canine teeth and is constantly accidentally biting his tongue, the inside of his lip, and the inside of his cheeks like, exceptionally hard (almost always has a small open wound in his mouth, lots of scars)
- Prefers plain mint gum over spearmint gum, usually only chews sugar free gum as well
- Super flexible (which is canon tbh) and he loves doing stretches
- He sleeps and sits in strange positions because of his flexibility so things that are super comfy for him might be damn near impossible for others to do
- (slight chreon) Chris has definitely gotten distracted by Leon stretching because goddamn why he is so flexible???
- Leon prefers thicker soups over thinner ones
- The least picky eater imaginable oh my god he’ll literally eat nearly anything if you tell him it’s edible I stg
- (RE2 Leon and a bit of RE4) A little insecure about his babyface, like if he walked into a bar he would definitely get carded and he’s just kinda like “man :(“
- Used to be a dog person but now he’s kinda afraid of them due to the trauma he has with dog B.O.W.s
- Leon is often compared to a cat by Chris (he thinks the man is very cat-like, especially with how he likes to sit/sleep and his personality)
- Doesn’t smoke but has hit a younger coworkers vape once and his eyes teared up from him trying to hold in his coughing (he liked the flavour though, it was strawberry kiwi ice)
- Prefers pistols and close-combat weapons (such as his knife) over semiautomatic weapons
- Leon is autistic. That’s all I have to say about that
- Violently bisexual but in denial about liking men (he’s already bad with women, he doesn’t wanna think about how it’d go with men 💀)
- Like to sit in ways that stretch out his legs, likes to stand/lean against walls so he can stretch his legs. He takes up a lot of room because of this but he will move if needed
- The only reason he’s still allowed to have his license is because he works for the government
- Usually though the government will provide him transportation for everyone’s safety
- Can only cook really simple meals and can never eat/deal with meat a few days after a particularly rough mission
- He more often than not has nightmares and is an extremely light sleeper
- Leon really doesn’t get a lot of sleep and has to resort to sleep pills fairly often
- His one-liners and jokes keep him grounded as he does missions
- It’s also why he prefers to wear fingerless gloves! The gloves protect his palms but being able to feel things directly to his fingers can be helpful in keeping him grounded and focused on the mission
- HATES insects and will kill them but will gently take spiders out of the room and outside with the cup and paper trick
- If he’s drinking to relax he’ll have a fruity cocktail or something sweet but if he’s drinking to forget/cope he’ll choose something that’ll burn his throat going down
I have way more so I’ll probably make another list at some point <3
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sentienttoastah · 4 months ago
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no kiwi company today but my random doodles from some magma/aggie session(s) wi friends a while ago. I forgot I wanted to save these on the blog
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and this is my son Kebyn
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he has fhe bubonic plague 🐟❤️
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evelynhenare1 · 1 year ago
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It makes me so incredibly mad that Thor Love and Thunder being kinda bad has made the internet think Taika Waititi is a terrible director or refer to the various corny lines that plague thr mcu as "taika lines" when like, Taika is genuinely such a fucking amazing director snd you only have to see his other movies to know that.
Like yeah Jojo Rabbit was fantastic, it was nominated for best picture for a reason but i think his earlier, more kiwi stuff is really his peak.
What we do in the shadows (the og movie) is probably one of the funniest films ive ever seen, its really well done.
Hunt for the wilderpeople is a fsntastic mix of funny and sad.
But my favorite will forever and always be Boy (2010), a movie that will never fail to make me genuinely weep. It's probably my favorite movie of all time, such a painful ride but also such a joyus one. He also plays a main character in this and gives imo his best performance by far.
Like look, besides love and thunder, all of his other films have been hits, so dont act like hes a shit director just because he had one miss.
(Also dont act like yall didnt love ragnarok, yall fucking loved ragnarok because it was great)
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