#Physical (you're So)
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like it's MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill
#physical touch? kill with bare hands#gifts? weapons#words of affirmation? 'wow you killed those guys so fast'#quality time? 'wow you're killing these guys so slowly'#mumbling
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Hi ! So I'm in the process of once again applying for disability and could really use help paying my rent once again this month.
I originally thought I would be receiving help that I will no longer be recieving, and now im scrambling to make $750 rent on the 1st in 2 days.
My original plan was to be making videos and fulfilling requests right now, but I am currently so ill and unable to do much of anything ! Any help would be appreciated.
Yes I keep asking for help, that is because I have been continuously struggling financially for the last couple of years. I've been applying for disability since 2022, and now finally have found a lawyer and people who can help me do it! But that still leaves the mean time.
I am seriously struggling with my health and freaking out about losing my apartment in 2 days while I am super sick and also have a super sick cat is not helping I think!
Anyway, I know these posts are making people very upset, so if you see them and don't like them no offense taken if you block me, but probably messaging me and sending asks that I'm a terrible person won't do much.
I appreciate any sharing and any donations, and would love to give out subscriptions and content in return.
My links
$0/750
#everything sucks actually so much right now#and my physical amd mental health are absolutely destoryed currently#and i literally just cannot stop throwing up and my stomach HURTS#at this point i dont know if something is seriously wrong or if my anxiety is just taking me out#or if i have the bug my roomamte had#anyway thanks for reading my post of misery#i hope you're having a good day#and im sorry you have to bare witness to me not
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As cameras becomes more normalized (Sarah Bernhardt encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use cameras because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by manufacturing companies. I paint not because I want a painting but because I love the process of painting. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
if i have to explain to you that using a camera to take a picture is not the same as using generative ai to generate an image then you are a fucking moron.
#ask me#anon#no more patience for this#i've heard this for the past 2 years#“an object created and controlled by companies” anon the company cannot barge into your home and take your camera away#or randomly change how it works on a whim. you OWN the camera that's the whole POINT#the entire point of a camera is that i can control it and my body to produce art. photography is one of the most PHYSICAL forms of artmakin#you have to communicate with your space and subjects and be conscious of your position in a physical world.#that's what makes a camera a tool. generative ai (if used wholesale) is not a tool because it's not an implement that helps you#do a task. it just does the task for you. you wouldn't call a microwave a “tool”#but most importantly a camera captures a REPRESENTATION of reality. it captures a specific irreproducible moment and all its data#read Roland Barthes: Studium & Punctum#generative ai creates an algorithmic IMITATION of reality. it isn't truth. it's the average of truths.#while conceptually that's interesting (if we wanna get into media theory) but that alone should tell you why a camera and ai aren't the sam#ai is incomparable to all previous mediums of art because no medium has ever solely relied on generative automation for its creation#no medium of art has also been so thoroughly constructed to be merged into online digital surveillance capitalism#so reliant on the collection and commodification of personal information for production#if you think using a camera is “automation” you have worms in your brain and you need to see a doctor#if you continue to deny that ai is an apparatus of tech capitalism and is being weaponized against you the consumer you're delusional#the fact that SO many tumblr lefists are ready to defend ai while talking about smashing the surveillance state is baffling to me#and their defense is always “well i don't engage in systems that would make me vulnerable to ai so if you own an apple phone that's on you”#you aren't a communist you're just self-centered
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#I need everyone to know that you can't view these photos unless you're listening to unknown by hozier on full blast#weird how it works but my lord made me do it#dragon age#solas#solavellan#actually had to physically fight myself to not put a hozier lyric caption#I can't help myself there is something so DEEPLY solavellan about hozier
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physically disabled person: hi
every abled neurodivergent person in the whole world: Hi I know this isn't about autism but I have executive dysfunction and I really think we should talk about that more not to derail or anything I just wanted to share my experience :) don't forget that not all disabilities are visible! I have anxiety and depression and this explains sooo much!
#wrenfea.exe#please just...learn when its not about you#can we have one goddamn conversation without the comments being filled with people like this#was watching a video reviewing an aid for physically disabled people and the comments were 90% about neurodivergence#and if you politely tell people to knock it off they say you're invalidating their struggles and being ableist and gatekeepihn#like i had to dig through all those comments to find some from actually physically disabled people so i could see what they thought#because i was trying to figure out if itd work for me#idc if you dont like it bc it gives you anxiety the product wasn't made for you!!!#chronic disability#chronic pain#disabilities#cpunk#cripplepunk#angry cripple#also before anyone dogpiles me im saying everyone in the world to give a sense of just how many comments theres seems to be#not that i think every neurodivergent person is like this (im neurodivergent)#chronic illness#physically disabled#mobility aids
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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Silly guys goin' on silly adventures:]
@rorydrawsandwrites's puppeteer au but the only difference is that jax gives consent
My contribution to this wonderful au has been long overdue:')
Rambling in tags ehe (cw: ribbun:p)
Well maybe it's not the only difference
#I think in this version of the au possesion puts you into an almost dream-like state#Slipping into a sort of weird trance#Like physically you still have control of your body#But mentally you're mindlessly following orders from a disembodied voice#Kinda works like that imperius curse in harry potter (yes ik rowling sucks)#And jax soon figured out it was great for dissasociating😀#Escapism and heavily dependant on those possesion sessions to preserve his own mental stability:')#But *cue dramatic music🥁*#He eventually realises that it was not the possesion that brings him comfort and peace no more#But the presence and embrace of gangle that did<3💖💗💞#Jskhsskhj sorry that was so cheesy🧀#Well more or less its because he hadnt have human interaction in AWHILE it seems#Goose did confirm that it has been a long time since he last got a hug:(#*almost* made me feel bad there#Mkay enough rambling about this slight very minor variation of the story#I hope this whole thing was coherent to even be readable=]#Maybe ill even add emojis✨#tadc gangle#tadc jax#ribbun#the amazing digital circus#Tadc au#tadc fanart#tadc fandom#gangle x jax#jax x gangle#Let me have this guys#Let me indulge-#Her head is a tad bit too small yes IM AWARE#This is actually probably my fastest post to reach 100 notes wth (in like 7-8 hours)
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mmm throwaway conversation between Dan and Danny that popped into my head that I had to write out:
"You spent ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, then went back in time and fought me, and lost." Danny snarls, arms crossed and throat tight. His mouth pulls back to bare dagger-sharp teeth, and his eyes burn with the familiar thrum of ectoplasm heating up behind his eyes. "If I didn't believe you were half of Vlad before, I do now."
His other self -- and really, can he even call him that? He's half of Vlad too. Two halves severed from each other and welded together to make a new whole, -- snaps his head over to him. Wild-eyed and furious, he looks unlike the man Danny fought before, the one unruffled and untouched, unbothered by the world around him. It's familiar, but not like the way a reflection is.
"What's that supposed to mean." The Other hisses, matching Danny's scowl one-for-one with fangs much bigger and sharper than his.
But there's a reason lions fear hyenas. Danny matches the rumble in The Other's chest with one of his own, and shoves his face close to his. "I don't lose."
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp prompt#danny phantom prompt#dan phantom#dark danny#not meant for any particular au i just had the idea of danny going 'wow you can tell you're half of vlad' to dan and when questioned abt it#he says; 'if you were REALLY only me you wouldn't have lost' which is fucking BASED as hell. and also technically true#thought process for danny here was 'hates dan's fucking GUTS bc he tried to kill his family and friends without remorse and would actively#rip out his throat without a moment's notice.' some fr 'im going to beat you to death with my bare hands!' vibes rn.#not totally in character for danny but also i was thinking that it got to this point bc dan was goading danny about 'being his future self'#when that's not technically true. he's half of vlad too he just has danny's face and powers. and he pissed off danny enough that he#retaliated. just not in the way dan expected. dan was expecting a physical attack not a verbal one.#danny called him a loser in more ways than one.#also the reason danny never calls him 'dan' in this is because i was thinking that danny doesn't actually *have* a name to call him. bc he'#certainly not danny. but he's not vlad either. he's someone else entirely. so 'The Other' it is.#danny fenton is not the ghost king#<- down here because while its still MY DP post its not DPXDC so it doesnt need to be front and center for people to see it.
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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
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Neal Caffrey being entirely useless in a fight is so important to me. Like no, beautiful, put those fists down you'll hurt yourself.
#white collar#neal caffrey#you're so pretty protect your face#I am on season 3 and he has lost every physical tussle he's been in#pls say this never changes
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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#possibly my favorite tweet ever#its so them#look me in my eyes and tell me tjis wouldn't happen#you cant#because im right#but also because you are physically incapable of looking in my eyes since you're seeing this on a screen#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler coded#steve harrington#robin buckley#stranger things textposts#byler textposts
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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Best part of the episode? IZUKU MIDORIYA!!
#YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE!!#also just hearing revengers and you say run in the same episode filled me with so much joy#those are my favorite songs#also also seeing miruko physically breathe#because yes i needed that reassurance that she is alive#just kiya's thoughts#kiya reacts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha season 7#mha season 7#mha s7#bnha s7#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#deku#💚🐇👊#it's appreciate midoriya hours folks!!
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'lloyd is very weak now and needs to marry so he'll have someone to protect him'- lloyd has the only grandmaster on the world following him around like a puppy. he has the most terrifying motherfucker on the world wrapped around his little finger. he has the one person in the world who can hit an absolute in the head and get away with it swearing in his heart to protect him no matter the cost over and over again.
lloyd made javier watch him die twice right in front of him just to keep him alive. there is no power on existence that could make javier allow anyone or anything to even think about harming lloyd again.
lloyd is fine
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi#sorry i get mad all over again when i think about that stupid ass competition lmaooo#like i know it was just an excuse but. it was sooo unnecessary.#like if you're gonna say 'lloyd will marry the person most qualified to protect him' you cannot blame me for pointing to the one person#who literally spent the whole novel ascending to higher and higher planes of existence just so he could protect lloyd better#that's just how it is#but also this is me saying it's evil and fucked up that we never saw javier going absolutely feral on someone for trying to hurt lloyd#the closest thing is in the battle in hell but that was against hellkaros so like. it doesn't really count.#i need javier to see someone raising a hand against lloyd only for everyone within a radius of a hundred meters to be overwhelmed#by this sheer murderous intent that makes more than a couple people drop to their knees and begin praying.#just this quiet but palpable rage that makes it physically harder to breathe.#a presence so powerful it makes people nauseous just by being near it.#and i also need lloyd to be completely unaffected by it and in fact able to easily appease and assuage it with barely a word#i deserved to see that actually
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Jade and Floyd Leech ✨
#Twisted wonderland manga#twisted wonderland#jade leech#floyd leech#i love them so much#omg#Floyd makes physical contact with Jade all the time#If I were at Night Raven College#I'd die in front of so many beautiful students.#You're quietly eating your pasta and two magnificent eels arrive. It's too much for my little heart.#twst spoilers
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