#People have returned to the house now which means I have to remember to wear actual clothes sometimes

[satans-knitwear]

I was waiting for the oven timer to go off so I just pulled my dress down for a quick show ✨

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

[zombii-hoe]

Yandere Popular Girl x Reader

cw: fingering and eating pussy mentioned but no action

//unedited

Talk about complete opposites.

Nobody would have thought you and the most popular girl in your university would get along like a house on fire. Abigail is what you would define as a girly girl. But Abigail is a two-faced bitch. From what students' have claimed.

And you're just a nobody who spends all her time watching anime and playing games. You don't know how, but you guys just clicked in your freshmen year of high school and never parted even after graduating.

Even though Abigail’s bitchy attitude has gotten her in trouble, you were always there to lighten her punishment, which she really appreciates. She's like this to others, but with you, Abigail is a sweetheart.

And in return, she’ll keep people who bully you for your hobby far, far away from you. With a flutter of her long lashes to the professor, that student who shoved you to the wall is now facing plagiarism accusations and might be expelled.

Remember that student that stole your spot in the back of the library that she totally doesn't imagine making out with you in and absolutely refused to give it back? Yeah, she definitely didn't shove them down the stairs, thus breaking their laptop that had a really important essay.

Yeah, you get the point.

Not to mention, Abigail is all over you. Whenever you're sitting in the cafeteria tables waiting for the newest update of the game you're into, she spots you from across the room and immediately hurries over and plops herself on your lap, a sweet smile plastered on her face.

The surrounding tables stare at the both of you, but you, already used to her antics, wraps an arm around her waist to stable her as she whines and complains about boys, her professors, wishing how badly she wants to finger your drenched pussy in front of the whole room to show that only she can make you like this , and asking if you're available later so you can join her on her shopping.

What do you mean to repeat what she said?? She said she can't wait to go shopping with you later. Silly goose, weren't you paying attention? Just ignore how her thighs are clenched and the subtle rocking of her hips.

"Hey, Abigail," You spoked softly, grabbing a napkin and wiping the drool that had collected and spilled from the corner of her mouth. "You're drooling a bit there,"

Setting the napkin down, you rest your cheek on her breast, staring up at her with a smug expression. "I didn't realize you were this hungry, lunch should be starting soon."

Abigail curled her painted toes to hold back a moan upon feeling your hot breath near her nipple. Abigail thanked her past self for deciding not to wear a bra today. Usually, she did wear bras, especially the ones that push her tits together nicely and caused you to look down at her milk jugs a few times and say, "God damn!" But this morning, Abigail felt a bit lazy.

Covering her glossy lips, her bracelets clinking together, Abigail giggles at your teasing. "What can I say? I'm absolutely starving~"

Want more of this? Buy me a ko-fi! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[felassan]

Letters from Lovers

Transcriptions of the letters from the various gear store items. under cut for length.

Isabela:

“My dear Hawke, Do you know anyone with a flock of parrots? I'm trying to cheat on a bet with Varric and the stakes are exceedingly high. If you help me, I shall take you to that breathtaking beach you so crave. Free of ancient horrors, too. I think. I'd hate to take respite from all my adventures, but there are other ways to make the heart flutter. In fact I'm already imagining a few. Aren't you? Sailing there can be fatal, but Admiral Isabela will keep you safe. Are you interested? I would love to see you again. Yours, Isabela”

Morrigan:

“My love, Now before that grin reaches your ears, perish the thought that this letter was my idea. 'Tis Kieran who would not give me peace until I wrote to ask how you are faring. Regale us, if you please, with another of your tales that I might read to him in bed. He is particularly fond of those wherein you spur mischief whilst you save the day. Thank you for your most delightful gifts. I shall make certain to wear them the next time you come home. Dream of me until then, my Hero of Ferelden, and have a care. Morrigan”

Dorian:

“My dearest Amatus, Home is ever as it was: a glittering whirl of dancing, politics, and murder. I'm used to people staring daggers at me - I quite relish it, actually - but the glares seem to possess a new intensity since my return to Tevinter. Do they disapprove of House Pavus freeing its slaves while I work in the Magisterium to end slavery across Tevinter? Perhaps they simply covet my cheekbones, and who could blame them? Real reform will take time, but we're making inroads. I miss you terribly, Amatus, perhaps almost as much as you miss me. I treasure you and your belief in my work here. Yours always, Dorian P.S. I wouldn't take it amiss if you might send me another barrel of that dreadful Fereldan beer?”

Alistair:

“My love, How are you? Is it true that you recently killed darkspawn with only a mean glare and a pointy stick? Ferelden is ablaze with this rumor! You do give people so much hope. Tales of your heroism never fail to astonish me and almost ease the pain of going to sleep without you by my side. Almost. I can't wait to be with you again. I'd bring you some roses, you could give me a tour of the keep, we'd drink with the new recruits and then cuddle in a tent. Without the new recruits! Tent time is just for the two of us. I want to make that clear. Now excuse me while I practice my death glare and rummage through the dog's stash of sticks. I love you. Yours forever, Alistair.”

The Iron Bull:

“Kadan, You won’t believe what I did today. I got a guy to flip! Twice! So yes, all is well. Except for all the demons. And this whole thing in which I’m far away from the love of my life. Really keeps me up at night. Anyway, you hearing these rumors of a dragon on the loose? Yeah! The boys and I are on its trail. Last I heard, it was flying toward the Frostback Mountains. Can you join us? I hope you’re not uh… all tied up. Don’t worry, I’m fairly certain it’s not a Ben-Hassrath trap. And if it is, you know I’m prepared. Ataash varin kata! I love you, Kadan. See you soon. The Iron Bull.”

Tali:

“By the way, I left something for you up in your cabin. Go have a look.” - Tali’Zorah  --- “Dear Shepard,   As you may remember, I presented this picture frame to you as a gift on the Normandy. It was my way of expressing my admiration for you and our bond as comrades-in-arms. On the back of the metal frame, I've emblazoned a promise that will never fade - 'Shepard, wherever you go, I'm with you.'  I know it's not much, but...this is what I look like under the mask. I'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting. I know Quarian faces can be a bit...different. Every time you look at my picture, I hope you will be reminded of our adventures on the Normandy, from our battles against the Reapers to our intimate conversations in the privacy of our quarters.    I am not one to express my emotions openly, but thank you for being my friend, my confidante, and my inspiration. I look forward to many more adventures together.  Keelah se’lai,   Tali’Zorah”

Another letter from Tali:

"Whatever the galaxy throws at us, I'll be at your side. - Tali" --- "Shepard It's been a while since I last struggled to sleep. You must be dreaming of falling through a fish tank or starring in a hanar vid? I can hear you muttering about jellyfish. It's funny. I've spent my whole life hoping for the future, but these days nothing scares me more. Keelah, why can't we stop time? Even for just a little bit? No war, no Reapers, nobody counting on us. Just you and me, as free as the dust in the solar wind. When this is all over, will you settle down on Rannoch with me? I love you. - Tali"

Bonus:

Shepard's N7 acceptance letter, from Anderson:

“N7 Congratulations on your graduation From Captain David Anderson Shepard, When I graduated from the N7 program I had the honor of meeting Admiral Grissom, the man who inspired me to pursue a career in the service, and I never thought I’d feel prouder in my life. I was mistaken. Don’t get me wrong, it was a big day. An important day. But there’s something about welcoming driven young people like yourself into the ranks that’s also pretty damn satisfying. Your distinguished service record may have gotten you into this program - but it was your courage, integrity, and tenacity that’s enabled you to join an elite few. You represent the best of humanity, and I feel certain you’ll make the galaxy a better place. And I’m not the only one who feels this way. Becoming an N7 means the entire Systems Alliance is telling you one thing - we believe in you. Let me end by saying this. Welcome to the team Shepard. We know you won’t let us down. David Anderson Systems Alliance Interplanetary Combatives Academy N7 N7 Acceptance Letter”

[mgu-h]

a bookkeeper for the people, thank you for your services 🫡

aww im just glad other people are crazy about them too!! i also keep track of things i heard repeatedly from both max and lando, or representative phrases, in order to make their dialogue sound better. if anyone is interested in some nortrell vocabulary quirks:

phrases they both use:

That’s mint

You muppet

Let’s go!!!!

Waffling

[Anything], mate

Cheers, bro

We’ve sussed it

You idiot

Knob, knobhead

Bloke, brev

~Very good very nice~

Scavs (Tarkov)

lando specifically:

‘Cause

[something], baby

C’mon Maxy boy

Oh my godt

Mega

It smells to / tastes to

Frickin’, freaking (less so now)

[Indeterminate happy Lando noises]

[Annoying tapping or leg bouncing]

Nugget

Joker

Why? (demanding)

max specifically:

Horrendous

Look at the state of you

Fucking hell, mate

For fuck’s sake

Fuck off

Jesus Christ

[repeats himself until Lando acknowledges what he said]

Shut the fuck up, I’m done

That is good, I'll give you that

Normal, normally

Don’t pull that face, none of that

Pal, buddy

Brilliant

No chance

We’ll fall out

That’s crap

What is wrong with you

All right!

It’s doing my fucking head in  

An absolute fucking shocker 

Are you mental

Fair play

Good lad

longer quotes + argument transcript:

Lando, mouth full, trying to communicate through just noises “mmm… mhhph mmmf” Max replies “I normally understand those to a degree, but that was another level” 

Max loses his patience “Stop, like why are you tapping so loud. You know what you’re really good at? Finding a fucking annoying noise to make, and then just constantly doing it.”

Lando said, “I don’t have it, Max.” Max replied, “The fact that you said my name there means you’re trying to lie or something, that’s weird, you don’t normally say that”

Lando said, “One of the things I hate the most is being bad at something.” 

[If you in any way question Max’s fashion or make a comment about his hair he will spiral and say] “Wha’ d’you mean?”

After the unhinged “golden cock” Sergei/Alexander banter, Max ends it. Lando tries to get back to the game, voice returned to normal. Max is incredulous. “Don’t just come in here like what’s next, all normal, like nothing happened”

Max told Lando he would be “back in 27 seconds” because "i needed him to know i'd thought about exactly how long i would be gone before i left, instead of saying 30 seconds, which could mean anything,"

Max saw Lando before he knew him, he doesn’t remember why he was at the karting track, Lando was driving around in a little kart, he was “just tiny, mate,“ nine years old. Max even remembers the black and orange helmet Lando’d been wearing, and he just watched him for a few laps. (“You were just watching?” / “Yeah someone said, that kid won, or something.” / “I never won a race in cadets” / “They must have just said you were fast”) bankai asked: “have you been following bob around since he was nine” and max says “original fanboy”

Max talking about watching an unboxed with Lando, “I like watching them, but it is weird seeing you in them.” “Why?” “I dunno… just, I don’t know. Just don’t see you as that ‘F1 Driver,’ it’s weird. It’s just different for me.”—[Lando laughs]—“They are cool.”

Max taking too long to come back to the game, Lando sounded mad. “Stop fucking kissing her, Max, and hurry the fuck up.”

In a Dec 2021 stream, chat called him Lando's dog and his wag, he refuted both claims. This was on the same stream where he and lando had their argument about max moving to monaco, lando insisting he's protecting max from being lonely and max telling him HE'LL get lonely. max claiming being alone in monaco wouldn't even bother him if he's streaming and offering to take care of the house. lando denying him, saying he's taking care of max and max's slightly sullen "thanks mate" and his Jokes like "chat, he doesn't want me there. he's ditched me. it's over. relationship's over. it's done." like the energy of the entire conversation is that they've had it many times before and max is not easy and compliant with lando leaving him behind, but lando is not listening because he's sure he knows better

Lando yelling at Max to kill a scav, Max did, but not fast enough, Lando was muttering under his breath and Max paused to take out an earbud, "Are you giving me attitude?" and then when Lando continued to bitch, mimed throwing the water from Lando's waterbottle on him

Argument Transcript (from here):

Max reads chat question, “Who’s better at golf?”

Lando brags. “I absolutely dominated today on the golf course.”

“But, would you say, like—”

Lando talks over him. “And, as they say in life, you’re only good, as good, as your last game.” 

Max rolls his eyes and Lando shrugs like the point he made was self-evident and incontrovertible. 

“You done?” 

“I mean, I have no more… that was like a mic drop moment, mate. That’s like my mic just dropped. There’s nothing else to say.”

Long pause. Lando grins like he knows he’s being annoying. 

Max can't let it lie. “But you said I am actually better than you.” 

“Yeah, well you were. Until today.” 

Max smiles with his mouth not his eyes. Lando grins too. 

Max is exasperated. “I love how you’re actually going to commit to saying ‘Yeah, you are,’ and then you realize—”

“I AM better.” 

“You’re not!” Max slaps his waterbottle against his hand for emphasis. 

“Today, I was better, mate.”

“Today, yes.” 

“If today was the world championship, I won.”

“No, but overall, I win more.”

“Well it doesn’t matter though, ‘cause you’re only as good as your last game.” 

“Yeah, ok, you’re going to be that—”

“I’ve made improvements!”

“Are you going to be that stubborn?”

“I’ve made improvements… I’ve just overtaken you in the game of golf.” 

A pause, but Max just can't let that go. “Well I won yesterday.” 

“That’s yesterday. No one cares about yesterday.”

“We didn’t play yesterday, the day before.” 

“No one cares about that.”

“Yeah, but I, like, if we play ten games, I’ll win seven.” 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No?”

“Yes!”

“Not with how well I’ve been playing la-today.”

“No.”

“Exactly.”

“No—”

“No, you won’t win.” 

“—I’ll win seven.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Yeah, I will!”

“No, you won’t.”

“I will!”

“No, you sliced every single one of your drivers.” 

Max turns his body to face him, looking at him directly. “No, I didn’t.” 

Lando seems gleeful to have gotten the reaction, crowing, “Yes, you did.” And laughing as he said “not one driver! I think you wouldn’t’ve ended up on a fairway!” 

“Yeah I did!”

“When?” 

Max turns back forward with arms crossed, thinking. “On the…”

“Ok, let’s go, let’s do this, chat. First one? No. Second one? No. Third one? Water. Fourth one?”

Max interrupts his rhythm. “Where were you on the third one?”

Lando ignores him. “Where’d your fourth one go?” 

Max repeats himself. “Where were you on the third one?”

Lando concedes. “I also went into the water.”

“There you go, yeah.”

“Once!”

Max affects a deeply sarcastic accent “Acting like Tiger Woods out here.”

“Once! What about all the rest of my drives? That wasn’t even a driver!” 

“No—”

“That wasn’t even a drive, all good.” 

“You were good, you were good with the drive today, I’ll give you that, but you’re not like that normally.”

“That’s what I said. I’ve improved.” 

“Yeah no, you were shocked.” 

“But I have! Improved!”

“Better, but you don’t, you won’t, if we play again tomorrow, you won’t do that.”

“Yes, I will.” 

“No, you won’t.” 

“Yes!”

“No chance.” 

“Yes, mate.”

“I’m going to video your first drive tomorrow. Guarantee it’s right.” 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I’ll try to hook it so badly—”

Max talks over him saying something else. “It’s not going to be straight. It’s not going to do that.” Max mimes a ball flying straight ahead.

“It will.”

“No chance.” 

“It will!”

“You were even like… oh my god, woah.” 

“Yeah, ‘cause I unlocked something.” 

Intense eye contact. Max smiles, almost predatory. “Yeah? What was that? What’ve you done? Do you remember?”

“Yes, I do!”

“What was it?”

“I’m not going to tell you, ‘cause I don’t want you to get better!”

Max sits up incredulously. “It’s not going to work for my swing. It’s totally different!”

“Well it is!”

“How?”

Lando throws his arm up miming a ball curving in the air. “‘Cause you’re slicing as well!” 

Max sits back and crosses his arms, looking away. 

“This is Max’s shot shape.” Lando mimes a ball shooting forward and curving in front of Max’s face, almost touching him, twice, laughing between and making a loud, adolescent rocket sound, generally being extremely annoying.

“If you do that again, I’m going to draw my hand left across your fuckin face.” 

“You can just do this.” Lando mimes a smacking motion on himself.

“Bosh.” Max pretends to hit him. 

Lando makes a few more rocket sounds.

Max is unable to let it lie. “Normally, you’re not that good.” 

“Yeah, but…”

“Today you were!”

“People improve, Max! People improve! And today, I was unstoppable.” Lando pulls out his cell phone around now, keeping it hidden, and changing the settings to prepare to annoy Max a different way.

Max rolls his eyes and repeats the word unstoppable with utmost derision. “Unstoppable… fucking hell, it’s like you’re acting like you hit nine under.” 

“I was unstoppable,” Lando insists. 

“Beat me by like four shots and I played horrendous. Four shots only!”

[loud iphone keyboard clicking sounds, lando looks up at max to watch his face, waiting to see him get irritated]

Max glowers straight ahead. “Is that loud enough?”

Max turns to face him again and glares and Lando gives him an impish smile. 

Max says “Stop!” repressively. He reaches for the phone and Lando pulls it back, smiling widely and in an indescribable tone of voice, all the lower registers gone, sounding like he did when he was younger. “I wasn’t even typing anything for the whole thing I was just trying to annoy you.”

They look at each other. Lando said something coy and inaudible.

Max smacks him. “Don’t. Don’t do that!”

Lando cackles.

[starlightvld]

Bait & Switch, pt. 11 - The Epilogue

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Epilogue (End!)

Based on "I wasn't in that tunnel."

Call of Duty, soapghost // Hurt/Comfort, MWIII spoilers - Coming soon to AO3 as well!

---

It's been two months since Makarov. Two months of questioning bordering on interrogation, intensive therapy, mountains of paperwork, and near-crippling setbacks. The British military has placed Soap on medical leave while the doctors decide if he's solid enough to serve again, and he's also been required to remain on base as they assess the threat of Makarov's remaining network. His status among the living has been classified, of course, which means he can't contact his family, but at least it's not a hardship to stay close to his friends and the man he loves. And despite the fact that he's tried to kill Ghost on three separate occasions after waking from vivid nightmares, despite the fact that he still occasionally hears whispers telling him to blow up the base and everyone in it, Price, Gaz, and especially Ghost refuse to leave his side.

Soap tries to believe he's worth it.

At least he knows for sure now that he is Soap.

A couple of weeks after returning to Credenhill, Laswell's lab rats came back with results from the journal that, while still incomplete, were divergent enough to confirm a non-matching sample to John MacTavish's DNA. He didn't realize it was weighing on him so heavily until the burden was lifted. Further confirmation came in the form of a raid on Makarov's Siberian base — records of facial reconstruction surgeries on multiple subjects, including Soap's stand in, proved it wasn't the serum alone that changed people's appearance.

But Soap doesn't care about any of that right now.

Because he's currently sitting in a car in front of his parents' house, palms sweating as he stares at the bright red front door. His da always repainted it a different bright color in the spring to brighten up the rainy season. A thousand childhood memories flit through his mind, and he has to take a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

He doesn't technically have approval to reveal himself to his family, but as Ghost said when Soap first brought it up: who's gonna rat him out? Laswell? Not likely. And Soap's family has suffered long enough.

He has suffered long enough.

And when Price cut through the red tape to approve several weeks of leave to "take care of business" with a wink and smile, Soap couldn't get to Scotland fast enough.

"Ready?" Ghost murmurs, hand coming to rest on Soap's thigh.

His body is attempting to shake his bones out of his skin, but the warm, comforting weight steadies him. He grits his teeth, slips on one of Ghost's plain black balaclavas, and nods. 

They step out of the car, and the familiar sound of pea gravel crunching under his boots throws him back to his childhood, his chest twinging at the sepia-toned memories of slipping bike tires and skinned knees. Soap keeps his gaze locked on Ghost's back, too afraid of getting lost in the memories to let his attention wander. They're both wearing civilian clothes, though Ghost is wearing a SAS cap as an identifier along with a black medical mask covering the lower half of his face.

The door opens before Ghost can knock. Soap's chest caves in at the sight of his father filling the doorway. He takes after his da the most — broad, dark-haired and blue-eyed — and Soap scans over every new line and every extra gray hair since he'd last seen him.

He looks older. Worn.

"Mr. MacTavish, you might not remember me, but I'm Lieutenant Simon Riley. I have some news for you. May we come in?"

"Aye. I remember ye. But I cannae understand what yer doin' here. There's no one left for ye tae take away from me now, is there?"

The bitterness in his father's tone is a pill that threatens to choke Soap. He doesn't realize he's stepped forward until Ghost's arm comes up to wrap around his shoulders.

"No one to take away, no. But I did bring someone back."

At the pointed emphasis, his father blinks, and for the first time, he glances at Soap. His eyes widen as blue meets blue.

"It would be best if we come inside, Mr. MacTavish," Ghost says in a gentle tone.

"Aye," his da whispers as he opens the door wide.

They file inside, and Soap can't take it anymore. As soon as the door clicks shut, he rips off the mask.

"'Allo, Da. Surprise?"

He doesn't have a chance to say anything more as his da barrels into him, nearly knocking him over. Tears stream down his face and soak into Soap's shirt, and Soap realizes he's crying too as his Da whispers "my lad, my lad, my wee laddie is home" over and over in his ear.

---

Ghost warned Soap from the beginning not to try to be his old self. And as one of the few people with experience in coming back from the dead, he trusts the advice.

It doesn't make it any easier to follow it, though.

It takes the whole first visit before anyone in the MacTavish household can speak or look at him without bursting into tears. His two sisters Meg and Claire and his brother Paul arrive as soon as possible with spouses and kids in tow. He goes from one embrace to another and then back until even his touch-starved body can't take much more.

The devastated glances at his many scars are even more difficult to handle.

Ghost is a life-saver, gently-but-adamantly telling them all that Soap needs to rest but they'll be back in the morning. His mam wants him to stay at the house, of course, but he just... can't. She seems to understand, even if he can feel her disappointment following him out the door.

"You're doing good, Johnny," Ghost praises in a soft tone as they drive back to their rented place. "It's not easy to set boundaries. But they'll learn. And you'll heal. Eventually, things will equalize."

"Thank ye," he says, sounding tired even to himself.

The words aren't enough — will never be enough compared to everything Ghost has done for him over the past few months. But he'll be damned if he doesn't at least make sure Ghost knows he's grateful.

The soft look he gets in return and the gentle mouth and hands that worship him later that night reassure him that Ghost does, in fact, know.

---

The July wind is downright balmy for the Highlands, only coaxing a hint of red into the apples of Ghost's bare cheeks as they walk hand-in-hand down the path toward their rented cabin. They're about a mile from the nearest village — close enough to walk but far enough to feel cozy and isolated on the cabin property. 

Soap looks over and smiles at his lover. The smile widens to a grin at the way Ghost smiles back, his cheeks taking on an extra flush.

They've been in Scotland for two weeks, and visiting his family has gotten easier with each passing day. They look at his scars less and at him more. And he's acclimatizing to all the touching and affection they need to give to make sure he's really there and alive.

His da hasn't taken kindly to their insistence that they can't talk about what happened. Soap can only promise him that it was the fault of the enemy and not the Task Force.

His mam hasn't taken kindly to the fact that he won't confirm if he and Ghost are an "item" as she calls it, but neither he nor Ghost are ready for that level of MacTavish exuberance. For now, their story is that Ghost has been assigned to watch over Soap due to his trauma recovery.

Which is going... Well... it's going.

They're taking a walk in the first place because Soap stormed out of a video call with his mandated therapist. Ghost followed him with their jackets and his gentle, undemanding presence. After a couple of miles, Soap's anger, mostly at himself, burned out, and he let Ghost slip a hand into his and pull him close.

How could he not smile at that?

"Been thinkin'," Ghost says in that calm, almost monotone voice of his.

It always sets Soap at ease, so it takes him a moment to prompt, "Aye? Does it hurt?"

"Cheeky fucker. Listen up."

"I'm listening."

"Was talkin' to your da—"

"Tha's dangerous."

"You gonna let me talk?"

Soap presses his lips together to hold back a laugh—God, it feels so good to want to laugh again—and nods. "Sorry. Just feeling a bit off kilter."

Ghost squeezes his hand. Soap squeezes back.

"He said he's got a bit of land a few miles north he's been meaning to sell. I've been earnin' money for years with nowt to spend it on. I thought if you wanted, we could buy it and maybe build a place of our own."

Soap jolted to a stop. Their linked hands strained for a moment before Ghost walked back to him.

"The MacTavish farm?" Soap asks in a breathless tone.

"Mmmhmm," Ghost confirms. "Your da says the old house is gone, but the foundation is still sound."

Soap remembers long days on the farm with his granda, almost thirty years ago now, with the nostalgic fondness of childhood. He would play with the animals and "help" his granda around the farm as a wean.

The idea of living there now...

"Are ye sure? It's a bit secluded."

"Even better," Ghost says with a small smile.

"When would we have time to build a whole house, though? S'not like we'll get leave like this again any time soon."

Ghost puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him close. Soap comes willingly, always grateful for the warm and solid presence of the man he loves. Their lips meet in a gentle kiss, the glide slow and lazy, as if they have all the time in the world. As if—

Soap pulls back suddenly and searches Ghost's bare face. His expression is just as relaxed as the kiss, that small smile still gracing the corners of his lips. 

"Ye want tae leave the military?"

"About to hit my years of service for a full retirement. And..." Ghost's smile drops away as he lifts their clasped hands to press a kiss against Soap's knuckles. His voice is soft and serious as he admits, "I don't wanna risk losin' you again. Don't think I'd survive it, Johnny."

Soap swallows and lets himself sink into the admission. The whole of his career, all he's ever wanted is to use his skills and knowledge to make the world a safer place. Instead, he lost three years of his life and inflicted immeasurable harm while in the hands of the enemy. Even if the psychologists and the brass clear him to go back to work, he's not sure he'll ever trust himself in the field again. With the precision required for their jobs, that's practically a death sentence.

Besides, his family would be glad to have him home for good. And he knows they'll come to love Ghost, too. His mam is halfway there already with all of Ghost's subdued politeness.

The more he thinks about it, the more the idea of getting out — of getting a fresh start — appeals to him, though he supposes that's not really a surprise in the end. After all, the most important thing he ever found in the military would be coming with him to Scotland.

"I wanna be wherever ye are, Simon Riley."

Ghost's smile returns. Their next kiss explodes with joy, and Soap leans into it, letting himself be swept away by the swipe of Ghost's tongue and the hard press of his lips. When they finally pull back, Soap is ready to run back to the cabin, eager to take Ghost apart and be taken apart in return. Ghost holds him back, though, his gaze once more serious.

"I want you to be sure about this. No regrets."

"I think it's a grand idea," Soap says before kissing him again. "Where ye lead, I'll follow, aye Lt?"

Ghost hums as he finally lets go of Soap's shoulders and gently tugs at their clasped hands. "How about we walk together, side by side?"

A slow smile spreads across Soap's face as visions of a quiet life dance in his head — a life without fear of capture or torture and without the risk of losing each other at any moment.

"Aye," he murmurs. "I can do tha'."

He kisses Ghost one last time before letting him pull them back toward the cabin.

There's still a lot of work to do before they can take that final step forward, but until then, he'll cherish the idea of a house all their own where they can live out their days in peace. After years of hell, it's good to know a bit of heaven awaits him. And maybe when they finally have a house of their own, Soap will indulge in those matching rings he's been dreaming about. 

Because it wouldn't be heaven without Ghost by his side.

---

FIN

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

"Mommy, when're we gonna go to the party?"

Soarynn dabs some more powder onto her face, she can't afford to look bad tonight, "Soon sweetheart."

"Mommy, what're you wearing to the party?"

Soarynn sets her powder compact down, silver with a rose engraved onto the lid, "I'm wearing a red dress sweetheart to match your father."

"Mommy, why're we having this party?"

Soarynn pauses in her makeup routine, trying to come up with a suitable answer for Ceraphina who's seen very little of the Hunger Games so far, "We're having this party to celebrate the Victor of the Hunger Games," she explains, watching Ceraphina through the mirror's reflection, "he's coming off of a very long tour from the Districts."

Every year after the Hunger Games end and a new Victor is crowned by Coriolanus, the Victor returns home to their District where they bathe in their newfound riches and move into a beautiful house provided by the Capitol. A few months later, they embark on a Victory Tour through all Twelve Districts, paying their respects to the fallen Tributes while giving inspiring speeches about the Capitol's generosity.

This year's Victor, Beckett, has just finished his Victor Tour and arrived in the Capitol this morning for the last stop in his Tour, the President's Mansion where a huge party is being thrown for him. Having the party at the Mansion serves many purposes. It allows the public to witness the grandeur of the President's riches while also allowing them to see the Victor up close and personal. Drinks will flow and music will play and no one will remember it after five days but the Snows are required to attend as tradition demands.

The girls have been chattering about the party since Soarynn and Coriolanus got back from their honeymoon but Soarynn hasn't been able to share their enthusiasm. Not when she still remembers the last time she was around people from one of the Districts. But she can't miss the party unless she's terribly ill which she is not.

There are worse things to be forced to do but Soarynn still feels strange about the entire thing. Beckett is still a child and yet she's seen grown women lusting over him. It's a life she wouldn't wish on any child, District or not.

"Will there be cake?"

Soarynn nods, grabbing her vanilla-scented perfume, "Yes darling, there will be lots of cake and other desserts tonight." Soarynn is thankful that tonight doesn't require a sit-down dinner. There will be lots of tables with different types of foods for people to try while they mingle.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I love you."

Soarynn's lips curl up into a smile and she turns around on her vanity stool to face her eldest daughter who's been so sweet since she got back from her honeymoon, "I love you," she tells Ceraphina, holding out her arms for a hug. Ceraphina doesn't make her wait, leaping into her arms and giggling when Soarynn peppers her face with kisses, "Oh, I'm so lucky to have you," Soarynn tells her. She means it too, she's so very blessed to have three beautiful children in her life.

If only she could have another.

It's been one week since Soarynn got married to Coriolanus Snow and she's still not pregnant. Not that she expected it to happen just like that but they've had sex every single night since their wedding, sometimes in the morning as well and nothing has come of it. And it's not like Coriolanus is finishing anywhere but inside of her.

Soarynn pulls away from the hug when she feels Ceraphina doing the same and she rests her hand on her stomach, wishing for it to swell with a child, "Are you feeling sick Mommy?" Soarynn quickly shakes her head, knowing how scared the children get when either of their parents doesn't feel well. After Livia succumbed to a sudden illness, a simple cough can send them into a terrorized state.

"I'm perfectly fine darling," she assures her, "now why don't you go put on your shoes hmm? We laid them out this morning remember?" Ceraphina nods and runs out of the bathroom with the promise to put her shoes on by herself since she's so grown up now.

Soarynn still can't shake the disappointment of not being pregnant yet and mix that with having to mingle with everyone in the Capitol tonight and she just might be sick by midnight. But she doesn't have time to pity herself, not when she hears her husband enter their bedroom, his loud voice booming throughout the large room. Soarynn only catches the last half of his conversation but it sounds like an important one.

"...need to reel them in before things get out of hand Quintus. With the election coming up I can't afford any shortcomings."

Soarynn checks her appearance one more time in the vanity mirror, pleased with what she sees staring back at her. She went with her natural, everyday makeup look, but added a bit of eyeliner and red lipstick to match her red dress. Speaking of her dress, she needs to put it on before they start running late.

Just as she's about to stand up, Coriolanus walks in and his gaze immediately lands on her, dressed only in her robe and slippers, "Don't come in Quintus," he says, closing the bathroom doors behind him. Soarynn offers him a sweet smile even though she can tell he's stressed. Petunia who was lounging on the edge of the tub hops onto the floor and pads over to Coriolanus, purring up a storm while rubbing her body against her leg.

Coriolanus pays her no mind and treads into their closet and Soarynn follows right behind him. She can hear him mumbling to himself, physically in their closet, mentally still in his study. Soarynn takes her dress off the hanger, admiring the silky fabric that Tigris pulled together for her tonight. It has two thin straps holding it up and a slit that goes up her right leg, sure to drive Coriolanus mad tonight.

Soarynn slides her robe off her slender figure and carefully steps into her dress, pulling it over her hips and then slipping her arms through the straps. She's almost fully got it on but she needs help with tying it in the back.

She looks over her shoulder at Coriolanus who's also getting dressed, putting on his shoes while wearing a scowl. "Coryo?"

He doesn't seem to hear her through his own troubling thoughts so she tries again, louder this time, "Coryo?"

He looks up at her, his eyes slightly widen when he drinks in the sight of her and what she's wearing tonight, "Yes, my love?"

"Could you please help me with the back? It needs to be tied," she tells him, turning around to show him where the issue lies. Coriolanus nods, swallowing down the small lump in his throat while rising from the bench to help her. Soarynn pulls her hair over her shoulder while his large hands pull at the strings, ensuring that she doesn't flash anyone tonight, "Is this alright?" He asks, his voice husky and his lips very close to her ear. Soarynn shivers, "Perfect," she whispers, letting her hair fall back down over her back, "thank you for helping me."

She turns around to admire the suit he's wearing tonight, a deep red, perfectly matching her dress. He looks so sharp and handsome like the imposing President of Panem people know him to be. She straightens out his tie and pulls his collar down, "You look very handsome Coryo."

Coriolanus sighs and rests a hand on her back, pulling her against him, "I don't feel very handsome right now." Soarynn's lips tug down into a frown and she furrows her brows, "Why not? What's wrong?"

Coriolanus shakes his head, pressing a fake smile to his lips, "Nothing to concern yourself with darling." He kisses her forehead before she can protest and turns on his heel, "I'll see you shortly alright?" Soarynn can only nod, watching as her husband walks out of their closet, leaving her more worried and confused than she was before he came in.

Petunia strolls in, not at all affected by the humans around her or their wild emotions. She hops onto the table in the center of their closet and does a big stretch while watching Soarynn, "It must be nice to be a cat," Soarynn muses, scratching behind her ears. Petunia meows in reply, "Mommy, we're ready!"

The children's voices draw Soarynn from her clouded bubble and she shakes herself out of it, "I'll see you later Petunia."

꧁ ꧂

The Victory Party is a great success.

People are laughing, drinks are flowing, food is being eaten and Soarynn is miserable.

She fakes it very well to her credit, never letting her society smile fall as people compliment her on the party and her recent wedding. "Truly, we've never seen such a stunning bride," one woman says while sipping on a purple-colored beverage.

Caspian reaches out to touch the feathers on the woman's shoulder pads and Soarynn quickly pulls his hand down, "Thank you so much, the support we've received has been overwhelming." It's not a lie, Coriolanus and Soarynn Snow's wedding has been all there is to talk about. Every billboard, every magazine, and newsoutlet has been discussing it and giving out their opinions about the ceremony.

From the guest list to the tablecloths, everyone has an opinion.

"Such a shame you couldn't away for a more dreamy honeymoon," the woman sighs, "I heard District Four has a beautiful resort this time of year, have you been?" Soarynn feigns excitement and nods, "Yes we have. We didn't want to be too far from the children though," she easily lies, trying to forget what happened in Four.

The woman nods and doesn't push it any further which Soarynn appreciates, they discuss more light-hearted topics until the woman's drunk husband stumbles into one of the soup tables and she has to go rescue him.

Soarynn bounces Caspian up and down on her hip, he was doing just fine walking by himself but he suddenly got overwhelmed and asked to be held. Soarynn could hardly decline him, not when she herself was also feeling very overwhelmed. The girls had gone off with Coriolanus to get some cake a while ago but with a party like this, Soarynn knows they've been caught up talking with some of the guests.

She takes this moment to catch her breath, scanning the ballroom for a familiar face. It's hard to spot anyone with how dark the ballroom is for tonight's festivities. The lights have been dimmed, with only small lamps providing illumination. Sofas are scattered throughout the room while servers walk around with platters of food and drinks. There are musicians floating on what must be clouds above them and Soarynn doesn't even want to know how they're doing that.

Soarynn locks eyes with the one person she so desperately wishes to avoid so of course he gives her a smile. Soarynn returns it out of necessity but panics when Beckett starts towards her. When he gets within three feet of her, Grant steps out from the shadows, acting as a buffer between them and Soarynn is suddenly so very grateful for Grant who rarely ever steps in. He lets her handle things and she appreciates it more than he'll ever know.

"Just wanted to say hello," Beckett says, nodding towards Grant who doesn't budge, "I already spoke with your husband."

Soarynn pretends to be enamored by his words and nods, "Oh, I'm so glad you did. He can be rather hard to pin down." She would know, where the hell is he?

Beckett hums and his eyes drift to Caspian who's watching Beckett curiously, "What's his name?"

Soarynn doesn't really know how this boy has managed to go this far in life without knowing the names of the President's children but she pushes all judgment aside for the sake of polite conversation, "Caspian."

Beckett seems thoroughly amused by her answer, "Ah, so they're all the same then? Ceraphina, Celeste and now Caspian, I wouldn't expect any less from President Snow."

Caspian curls into Soarynn, resting his head on her chest, "Momma go to bed," he mumbles. Caspian is her saving grace tonight. "I think I ought to put him to bed," she tells Beckett, "but it was lovely meeting you, we hope you enjoy the party."

Soarynn goes to step to the left but Beckett follows her, "I saw your wedding," he says, a strange look in his eyes, "I've never seen a more beautiful bride." Soarynn has been complimented on her beauty countless times but it feels very different coming from Beckett, "That's very kind, thank you."

Beckett's eyes rove over her body and Soarynn is beginning to regret wearing a dress with such a high slit, it seemed like a great idea two hours ago. "Do you dance?"

Soarynn is taken aback by his question since to her knowledge, no one in the Districts is familiar with the waltz, "I do," she answers, "but not tonight, I really should get Caspian to bed."

Beckett scoffs a laugh, "Just hand him off to your bodyguard," he juts his chin towards Grant who hasn't taken his eyes off of Beckett, "he'll be fine. I want to go home being able to say that I had my hands on the new First Lady."

Before Soarynn can even formulate a response to his very rude and suggestive comment, she feels a large hand come to rest on the small of her back and the scent of roses overwhelms her, "I'm afraid you'll be returning home without such an accomplishment," Coriolanus tells Beckett, looming over all of them in an imposing manner.

Beckett clears his throat, caught in his scheme, "I meant no offense."

Coriolanus laughs, a fake laugh that Soarynn sees right through, "Of course you didn't. Now run along and enjoy your party."

Beckett scurries off into the crowd and Soarynn lets out a sigh of relief, "The fucking nerve of him," Coriolanus mutters, turning Soarynn around to face him, "are you alright darling? He didn't touch you did he?" He reaches to cup her face and she melts into his touch, "No," she assures him, "Grant made sure of that, but he was awfully persistent."

She can see a million emotions flooding through her husband's eyes but the most prominent one is anger. Anger due to someone making her uncomfortable and trying to touch her. "They're all the same in the Districts," he tells her sternly, "all filthy leeches that prey on sweet things like you."

Soarynn wants to believe that there's good in some people who live in the Districts, but how can she when she's proved wrong every time?

Maybe Coriolanus is right, maybe this is the only way to keep her loved ones safe.

"I should put Caspian to bed," is all she says in response.

His eyes search hers for any lies but she has none to tell him and he slowly nods, "Come down when you're done alright?" Soarynn really doesn't want to but she knows it's not up for debate, especially when he presses his thumb further into her temple, daring her to push back on his request. "Okay," she says sweetly, batting her eyelashes up at him, a trick that always deescalates his mood if he's angry.

And it does just that. Coriolanus visibly relaxes and gives her a quick kiss before saying goodnight to Caspian and disappearing back into the crowd.

The past week the two of them have been learning from each other and learning what they will and will not tolerate in their marriage and Soarynn has quickly learned that there's nothing Coriolanus despises more than push back. From anyone really, not just her but it especially ticks him off when she questions him.

She doesn't even mean to do it in a malicious way or in a pestering manner but Soarynn is curious by nature and Coriolanus is always quick to back up his reasoning with several facts, whether or not they're valid is beside the point.

"Let's go to bed," Soarynn says quietly to Caspian who lets out a tired sigh, "Lenny go to bed," he tells her. Soarynn nods and begins to make her way through the crowded room, smiling at any guests who look in her direction despite the very uncomfortable conversation she just had with Beckett.

She truly doesn't know where any of that came from, she's never met him before, she barely even watched his Games and yet he was so insistent on dancing with her. Perhaps it's a silent fight between men who are constantly trying to assert their dominance.

Coriolanus has always been rather possessive all things considered and he's never taken kindly to those who live in the Districts. That's why the Capitol citizens love him so much.

"Oh Soarynn, I've been looking all over for you dear," Eudora calls, quickly running over to her, "you're wanted by the dessert table, some ladies from the Gallery are just dying to talk with you about next year's upcoming theme." Soarynn's only been First Lady for a week but there's no rest for the weary and she's been pulled left and right to discuss things that have been left untouched since Livia passed away.

Soarynn's lips curl up into another fake smile, the same smile she's bestowed upon everyone tonight it seems, "Of course, let me just put Caspian to bed." Eudora looks around the room for a moment and perks up when she spots the girls who are milling around, accepting compliments left and right, "Why don't we get all the children to bed?" Eudora suggests, "It's getting rather late."

She's not wrong and the girls are already up way past their bedtime. "Good idea," Soarynn agrees, beckoning the girls over to them, "Mommy! Mommy, there was a chocolate fountain!" Celeste animatedly tells her, pointing at one of the long tables filled with different treats.

"That sounds like a dream come true for you girls," Soarynn muses, resting a hand on Celeste's head, "and speaking of dreams, it's time you girls go to bed."

Both Ceraphina and Celeste immediately begin pouting but Soarynn is on her last leg right now and gives them a knowing look, "You two have had lots of fun tonight haven't you? Staying up late is a treat," she reminds them, "now let's all go upstairs please."

Before I lose my mind, she thinks to herself once the girls give in to her request. Soarynn is thankful for Eudora who accompanies her upstairs and helps her get all the children to bed. She normally can manage it just fine but with the party right below them, things are just more difficult tonight.

Caspian goes down without a complaint, letting Soarynn kiss his head goodnight while his eyes drift shut. The girls are a different story though, still on their sugar high, jumping up and down on their bed, refusing to go down. Soarynn usually doesn't mind them being antsy before bed but she needs them to cooperate tonight, mostly because Coriolanus won't be happy if she's not downstairs soon.

"Girls," she says sternly, "I need you to lie down please."

"But we're not tired!"

"Well I am tired," she tells them, pulling back the covers, "now please get under the covers or we won't have time to read a story." That strikes a chord within the girls and they finally calm down and crawl under the covers, watching Soarynn with big eyes as she picks out an easy and short story for tonight.

She gets through the story quickly, making sure to do the voices they adore so much, and presses a kiss to each of their cheeks, "I love you both very much, have sweet dreams my darlings."

They both gaze up at her, nothing but love and adoration in their blue eyes, "Good night Mommy."

Soarynn turns off the bedside lamp and quietly pads out of the room, lingering by the doors for just a minute to actually make sure that they're asleep and not just pretending. She leaves once their breaths grow steady and she's met with Grant standing outside the doors, dutifully watching over her even in the comfort of her own home.

"Are you alright Mrs. Snow?"

Soarynn furrows her eyebrows and he shakes his head, "I was referring to the District boy approaching you."

Oh.

"I'm perfectly fine," Soarynn lies breezily, walking past him, "and I have quite a few guests to attend to."

She can tell that Grant doesn't fully believe her but it's not his job to care about her feelings, "I'll assign some Peacekeepers to stand guard outside the children's doors," he says and Soarynn nods, she feels much better knowing that the children are protected while she's busy downstairs.

"Thank you, Grant."

He still looks worried but Soarynn brushes it off, she's just tired that's all.

She's fine.

꧁ ꧂

Sometimes it feels as if the party never ends.

It's well past midnight and Soarynn just said goodbye to the last party guest. She's utterly exhausted and wants nothing more than to soak in the bathtub for a while before curling up in bed, preferably in her husband's arms.

But Coriolanus snuck away an hour after she returned from putting the children to sleep. She has no doubt that he's been discussing business all night long considering how many important men attend things like this but she wishes he wouldn't leave her alone to deal with all the guests.

She silently walks down the long hallway towards his study, figuring she'll just say goodnight now and make her way upstairs. If he wants to join her, then he knows where to find her.

When she reaches the doors to his study, she can hear several muffled voices from inside, all male and all very loud.

She softly knocks, wondering if they can even hear her over their voices but the doors open a moment later and she's looking up at a very tired-looking Quintus Heavensbee, "Good evening Mrs. Snow."

Soarynn gives him a polite nod, "Good evening Quintus. I was hoping to have a quick word with my husband before I retire for the night."

He looks back into the study and Soarynn hears a quiet conversation being had before she hears her husband's authoritative voice, "Bring her in Quintus." The trusted advisor moves to the side and Soarynn slowly walks into the study, looking around at the five men who have gathered here so late into the night. The fire is roaring and she sees several half-finished drinks sitting on the table by the sofas. They've been at it for quite some time.

Her husband's gaze is cold and calculated, a stark contrast to how it usually is when they're alone but they're not alone, they're in the company of very important men and Soarynn would do well to remember that.

"I apologize for interrupting," she says sweetly, earning her several grumbles from all the men insisting that she's not a bother at all. "Come here darling," Coriolanus calls from behind his desk, holding out a hand for her, and Soarynn can't do anything but go to him. Her hand slips into his large one and his fingers curl around it, tugging her to his side, "We heard that you were approached by the young Victor," one of the men says, his voice is weathered and warbly. He looks old.

Soarynn swallows, have they been talking about that all this time?

Coriolanus squeezes her hand, pulling Soarynn back into the present, "Yes," she answers, "yes I was."

Everyone in the room shares disgusted looks, "The nerve of him," one of them mutters, shaking his head, "he ought to be punished." Coriolanus grunts in agreement, "He mentioned putting his hands on her before I came to her rescue." It's so strange to be talked about as if she's not in the room with them.

"I think a trip to Two is exactly what needs to be done," Quintus says, resting a hand on the edge of the desk, "these people need to be reminded of who they serve, who they answer to."

Soarynn looks down at Coriolanus, his face is unreadable right now, "You're going to Two?" She asks softly, her gut churning at the thought of Coriolanus being away from her, from the children. They haven't been apart, not since Four. Coriolanus pinches the bridge of his nose, "There is a high possibility that I will be paying District Two a visit within the week," he says as if reciting from a script.

Quintus offers Soarynn a smile but she does not return it, "We were hoping you might accompany your husband if he goes, it would be just what we need to show them that the Capitol is an unshakable force."

"Yes, seeing the New First Lady by the President's side would be the perfect ploy," another man chimes in.

Soarynn feels like her head is spinning. "I um...I would have to think about it," is all she says, gripping her husband's hand even tighter to steady herself, "Ceraphina still has school and I can't just leave the children."

Everyone starts talking at once but Soarynn can't hear a word they're saying while they attempt to talk over one another, discussing possible solutions or alternatives. Soarynn pulls her hand away from Coriolanus, ignoring the look he gives her, ignoring the look they all give her as she stumbles towards the door. She can hear her name being called when she goes out into the hallway but she keeps walking until she reaches the back staircase.

Coriolanus is leaving? For how long? And why does she have to go with him?

Soarynn didn't realize she was signing up for all of this when she married Coriolanus but maybe it was written in one of the thousands of contracts she signed months ago.

If she's expected to make these appearances only for the sake of Capitol morale then was that his intention from the beginning? Did he only marry her to have a First Lady to cart around when needed?

Soarynn climbs the stairs at a rapid pace despite her heels and dress getting caught with one another. She doesn't even care about the dress or the shoes, she just wants out.

She just wants out.

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus doesn't come to bed until four o'clock in the morning when Soarynn is sound asleep. Well, she was asleep until she felt him climb into bed and pull her against him, warming her body immediately. Soarynn keeps her breaths steady while he moves around to get comfortable and remains limp when he wraps an arm around her waist, burying his face in the nape of her neck.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to her tender skin, "I'm sorry for everything tonight."

Soarynn wishes she could roll over and tell him that all is forgiven but she doesn't know if it is. She needs him to apologize when they're both awake.

He can do that tomorrow morning.

Everything will be better in the morning.

꧁ ꧂

The alarm wakes the couple with a jolt. Soarynn often forgets how the day waits for no one, especially Coriolanus who is expected to treat every day like a work day, even if he threw a massive party the night before.

Coriolanus groans and his grip around her waist tightens while he kisses her shoulder, "Good morning," he mumbles.

Soarynn would never say this out loud, but she loves his voice in the morning. It's even deeper than it usually is and it's so raspy. That's probably why she enjoys morning sex the most, because his voice alone can get her off.

Soarynn doesn't know whether to give him a hard time about last night or if she should just move on and forget about it.

She decides to give him a hard time, an easy decision in her opinion.

"What was that about last night?" She asks, rolling her hips back into him. She can hear his breath hitch from her teasing actions, he's usually pent up with energy in the morning and often wakes up with a pressing problem that can be easily solved should she spread her legs for him.

"Last...last night?" He croaks out, trying to still her hips with his hand but it's no use, his cock is already hardening in his boxers and he'd rather eat glass than solve this problem on his own.

"Mhm, last night when I was spoken about as if I wasn't in the room with the rest of you," she sweetly reminds him.

Another roll of her hips miraculously jogs his memory and he lets out a quiet moan, "Oh that," he says, "yes, yes I'm so sorry about that darling. Things have just been...just been getting tense and they think it's best if I address it personally rather than from behind my desk."

Soarynn's interest is piqued and she rolls over to her stomach, teasing long forgotten as she stares into his bright blue eyes, "Coryo what's going on? You were upset before the party and you were ice cold in your study. I hardly want to be in the same room with you right now, let alone travel to District Two to show my support for you." Her words are slightly hurtful but they're truthful and he values that more than words in a pretty package.

Coriolanus looks unfairly handsome lying on his side, curls tangled and sleep still evident in his eyes. But his eyes are gentle right now, sweet and caring, looking at her as if she's the most precious thing in the world to him.

"There have been riots in Two," he says quietly, rubbing his thumb up and down the side of her hip absentmindedly, "Beckett's victory has given them hope and we can't have that. All my advisors think it's best if I go to Two to speak to the people and publically execute anyone taking part in the riots."

Soarynn shivers at his words, at how causally he mentions people being executed. She often forgets how heartless he has to be sometimes. "I didn't want you getting dragged into this," he stresses, pressing his fingers into her skin, "but when Beckett came up to you and Caspian I just...I lost control," he admits, looking down in shame, "I wanted to bring you for the sake of my pride, to show people in Two that I'll always have the last laugh. I let my pride get the best of me Soarynn, I'm sorry for everything."

Soarynn scans his blue eyes for any signs of a lie but she only finds truth and a bit of shame. "I forgive you. And I'll say it right now while we're both of sound mind and body but I'm not going with you to Two. I...I can't go to the Districts again," she whispers, painful memories flash through her mind, "even though I don't want you to go either."

Maybe in a few years, she'll gain back the courage to leave the safety of the Capitol, but not now, not when everything is still so fresh. Their marriage, the attack, the party. Soarynn knows better than to play with fire.

"Everything will be fine darling," Coriolanus assures her and he sounds so confident, so sure that everything will be fine if he leaves, "I'll tell my advisors that you can't come and that will be the end of that."

She lets out a sigh of relief, glad she won't have to leave the Capitol or the children for that matter. The holidays are right around the corner and there's so much to be done around the house. Being the official First Lady has given Soarynn access to things she couldn't dream of, including decorating the Mansion.

Soarynn leans over to press a kiss to his cheek, one he welcomes wholeheartedly while wrapping both arms around her waist and pulling her on top of him. Soarynn giggles when his lips find hers, moving in sync with one another while she rolls her hips against his in a teasing manner. He pulls away, wearing a lazy smile with his curls all tangled, "Why don't you be on top today?"

Soarynn almost falls off of him when she hears those words leave her husband's lips. Coriolanus is a man who craves control in every situation, from his children to his wife, he wants everything and everyone to do exactly as he says. Unfortunately for him, neither his children nor his wife are keen on always following his explicit rules.

To willingly let her be on top is a shock and Soarynn can't hide her expression, "Really?"

Coriolanus scoffs and his hands slide down her waist and rest on her ass, slipping his fingers under her lace panties, "Yes, really. I want to see how pretty to look sitting on my cock darling."

He has such a way with words.

Soarynn refuses to let him fluster her though and she doesn't back down from a challenge easily. Despite his past claims about her being a "pillow princess", Soarynn is sure she can manage. At least for ten minutes until she gets tired.

"Alright," she decides, lifting her hips so she can pull down his boxers far enough to take firm hold of his cock, already hard and leaking with precum. Coriolanus lets out a strangled groan from how she handles him but he's a big boy and if she can take everything he dishes to her, then he'll be just fine with what she does to him.

Soaryn has gotten well acquainted with her husband's cock over the past week, how big it feels inside of her, how it has a slight and delicious curve to it, and how he always needs to be inside of her when he finishes.

Soarynn pulls her panties to the side, seeing no point in fully undressing if she's the one in charge this morning and she teases his tip against her folds, rubbing it back and forth the same way he does it when he's on top. Coriolanus is struggling underneath her, she can tell that he's just itching to take over and do everything how he wants to do it but he holds back.

Soarynn finally lets the tip of his cock snag onto her entrance and she slowly sinks down on it, gasping at how much bigger he feels in this position. Coriolanus holds her hips gently, helping her sink down fully onto his cock and Soarynn swears that she can already see stars from how fucking deep he is inside of her. The tip of his cock is jammed against her sweet spot, making the slightest movements so very sensitive and stimulating.

"Take off your nightgown," he says breathlessly. Soarynn gives him a knowing look, if she's in charge then he's going to have to use his manners the same way she does when she's beneath him.

Coriolanus rolls his eyes but complies to her silent standards, "Take off your nightgown please my sweet darling girl who I love so very much."

Soarynn smiles and holds her chin up high, "That's better."

She pulls her nightgown over her head and tosses it to the side, baring her breasts to him while he stares up at her. "Take it slow," he advises and Soarynn is quick to squeeze her walls tightly around him, making him groan and moan, "I know," she quips, rolling her hips around to see what she likes.

Soarynn rolls her hips clockwise, then counter-clockwise, feeling how good it feels to be on top of Coriolanus who's going against everything he believes in to give her some control.

Soarynn rests a hand on his toned chest and leans forward until her hair falls over her shoulder, creating a curtain of sorts for them as she kisses him deeply, sighing when his teeth tug at her bottom lip. "You look so heavenly like this," he mumbles against her lips and she grins, "so beautiful and angelic."

Soarynn is sure that other more vulgar words could be used to describe the sight of her on top of him but she appreciates his kinder ones. Soarynn sits back up and slowly lifts her hips up before bringing them back down, gasping at how he stretches her out. Soarynn quickly finds a rhythm that suits her needs and Coriolanus is quick to sit up and wrap his arms around her waist so he can kiss her. They move in tandem with their hips, his cock drags against her walls again and again, making Soarynn whimper.

Soarynn is already growing tired but she's always had less stamina than Coriolanus who can go for hours without tiring. "Feels so good," she pants, squeezing around him, "so deep."

Coriolanus moans when she picks up the pace and one of his hands wraps around her neck, squeezing it until she feels lightheaded. Looks like he couldn't give up control for too long. Coriolanus starts pounding up into her, the sound of skin slapping and moans are all that can be heard in their bedroom. Soarynn's eyes start to roll back and she's getting closer to her peak, "Please," she whines, "please, please, please."

Coriolanus slaps her ass, "You look so perfect like this angel, stuck on my cock like the good girl you are for me hmm? Just taking whatever I give you. Wish I could keep you like this all day long."

Soarynn tries to form a proper sentence but her mind is so clouded by lust and the feeling of him inside of her that all she can do is let out a pitiful moan. Coriolanus presses sloppy kisses to her jaw, sucking on the skin while deepening his thrusts. "Cum for me Soarynn, be my good girl and cum for me." It doesn't take much more after that, Soarynn's hips are rolling like they have a mind of their own, and suddenly that wire inside of her snaps.

All she sees is white as her back arches and Coriolanus keeps fucking her. She can hear him swearing, saying more nasty things to her while he tries to reach his own peak.

Soarynn goes limp in his hold, trusting him to hold her while he fucks up into her, finally reaching his orgasm and spilling inside of her. She moans softly at the feeling of his cum getting lodged deep inside of her, just how he likes it. Soarynn rests her chin on his shoulder and simply sits there, not in a rush to start the clean-up process.

Coriolanus rubs circles on her back and whispers sweet words and compliments, rocking them back and forth. Soarynn feels so content like this which is funny because a year ago she was so focused on the kiss they shared on the train. Now he's buried deep inside of her on a quiet morning. Her eyes fall shut and she feels him slowly lay back down and pull the covers over them. They should take a shower, Ceraphina has school today and Coriolanus has work but he always makes sure to take care of her before getting out of bed.

Soarynn doesn't know how long they lie there like that, still connected. Maybe hours, maybe minutes. She's overwhelmed by the scent of roses, comforting and reassuring that all will be well so long as she has Coriolanus. He gently taps her hip and Soarynn begrudgingly lifts her head to look down at him, "What?"

He chuckles, brushing her hair out of her face, "We have to get up darling."

Soarynn pouts, she usually doesn't mind going about their routine shortly after having sex in the morning but this just feels different and she can't explain why. "I'm sore," she whines. She's not lying, she's been in a constant state of soreness since their wedding night since neither of them can get enough of the other person.

Coriolanus smirks and lifts his head to peck her lips, "You're always sore," he sweetly reminds her, "and we have to get up before the children." He, unfortunately, has a point. Soarynn grumbles before she sits up and looks down at the ungodly sight of his cock still inside of her cunt, it does something to her and makes her want to go another few rounds before leaving their bed.

Coriolanus seems to pick up on her inner thoughts and brings a hand to her clit, rubbing it with his thumb. Soarynn moans, her back arches and she ruts against him, already overstimulated, to begin with. "Coryo," she whines, trying to pull herself off of him but he's quick to pull her back down with his other hand, "I thought you liked it when I played with you darling," he says, shaking his head with false disappointment.

It had its intended effect though and Soarynn whines, "I do," she mumbles, digging her nails into her thighs, "I do like it."

Coriolanus keeps rubbing her clit and just when she thought he couldn't do anything else, he lodges a finger in her cunt, adding to the sensation of his cock still being inside of her. Soarynn almost screams from the feeling, from the now burning and aching stretch of her cunt being filled to the brim with Coriolanus Snow.

"You always take it so well," he praises, "my fingers, my cock, and now my fingers and my cock. I really did marry a little whore didn't I?"

Soarynn wants to tell him that he's wrong, that she's not a whore but he starts moving his finger inside of her and it's all too much for her. Soarynn feels a tear roll down her face and her walls start to flutter around him, a telltale sign that she's about to cum again. "I...I'm not," she croaks, unable to look away from what he's so shamelessly doing to her. Coriolanus scoffs a laugh, condescending and taunting, "You're not what doll? Not a whore? Or not taking it like you should?"

He pinches her clit and she's done for.

Soarynn cums again and this time, she feels herself shaking and she feels herself getting wetter and wetter, she might just squirt again. He'd love that, Coriolanus has been desperately trying to get her to do it again since he found out she could do it.

Soarynn folds forward, trusting him to catch her and he does, he'll always catch her.

She lays there in his hold and feels his finger slowly slip out of her cunt and hears him groan at the mess she's made, "Such a good girl," he mumbles against her head.

That's the last thing that she hears before she gives back into sleep.

꧁ ꧂

"C'mon Mommy!"

Soarynn is out of breath from climbing all the steps leading up to the Academy but Ceraphina Snow waits for no one. Her daughter is already running through the doors into the foyer of the school, looking so cute in her little uniform. "I'm coming," she calls, shouldering her purse. Today Ceraphina is presenting her family tree and Soarynn has been given the privilege of attending her presentation.

All family members are encouraged to see their children present in front of the class but due to work, Coriolanus couldn't make it. But Soarynn could and she knows how important it is to show up.

Soarynn offers a smile to anyone she passes while following Ceraphina down the hallway, she hasn't been here in years but in the past few months, it's felt like she's lived here. Maximus walks beside her, his brown hair slicked back and his face neutral as he scans the hallway, "She's been working very hard on this project," he tells her. Maximus is much more talkative than Grant is, making him the perfect fit for Ceraphina who would talk to a rock if she could.

Soarynn hums, Ceraphina hasn't stopped talking about it since they started last month. She needed photographs of all their family members and even interviewed Coriolanus to ask him questions about the Snow family lineage. Very impressive for such a young girl.

"I'm quite excited to see what she's done," Soarynn admits, really just eager to see Ceraphina interact with her classmates. Ceraphina runs into her classroom and Soarynn hears several excited shrieks from inside.

Soarynn slowly approaches the open door, peeking inside and watching as Ceraphina hugs one of her friends who has long black hair, "Today's my day for the project," she tells her friend proudly.

"Ceraphina honey, let's hang up your coat and bag remember?" Her teacher softly reminds her, resting a hand on her back. Ceraphina nods and goes over to the hooks on the wall, "My Mommy came with me today," she tells her teacher, pointing at the door. Soarynn straightens up and steps into the classroom, nodding at Mrs. McDowell whose eyes are as wide as saucers despite meeting Soarynn several times already.

Soarynn has forgotten how important she is to people now that she's married to Coriolanus.

"Madame Snow," Mrs. McDowell gushes, bowing her head in respect, "it's such an honor to have you grace our classroom this morning."

Soarynn gives the woman a kind smile, "Thank you for having me, I'm so excited to see Ceraphina's presentation." Ceraphina jumps up and down, overcome with excitement, "Can I show her my desk, Mrs. McDowell? Can I? Can I?"

Mrs. McDowell keeps her gaze on Soarynn but answers Ceraphina, "Of course, you can honey."

Ceraphina runs over and takes Soarynn's hand, dragging her into the classroom towards all of the tiny desks. Soarynn can't get enough of how tiny everything is. The desks, the children, the school supplies. It's so adorable. "This is my desk Mommy," Ceraphina proudly tells her, resting a hand on the small desk, "I keep my crayons and pencils in here."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, very impressed, "Well aren't you fancy? Crayons and pencils?" Ceraphina giggles and pulls Soarynn towards the front of the room where there's a chalkboard along with a bookshelf tucked in the corner, "This is our class pet, Mr. Bubbles!"

Soarynn crouches down to look at the bottom shelf and is genuinely surprised to find a goldfish swimming around in a tank, "He wasn't here when we came to the open house," Soarynn murmurs, knowing she'd remember if they had a class pet. Coriolanus on the other hand, can barely remember the teacher's name.

"We got him because we were very well-behaved," Ceraphina says matter-of-factly, wearing a proud smile on her face, "and I get to feed him this week because that's my class chore." Ceraphina points at the chalkboard and Soarynn looks over to see that there's a list of class chores scrawled across the board with the students' names written under the tasks. The line leader, feeding Mr. Bubbles, turning off the lights, passing out papers.

"How responsible of all of you." Soarynn wonders where this enthusiasm for chores goes when Ceraphian returns home and doesn't want to make her bed.

More students file into the classroom and Soarynn stands by the bookshelf, simply observing her daughter while she interacts with everyone. She hugs the girls but stays far away from the boys, something Coriolanus would be proud of. One of the girls, the girl with the black hair slowly approaches Soarynn with a wary look in her eyes, "Are you Ceraphina's Mommy?"

Soarynn nods, bending down to be at eye level with the child, "I am her mother," she confirms, "what's your name?" The girl offers Soarynn a sweet smile and clasps her hands, "Diamond." How precious. Soarynn holds out her hand, "Pleased to meet you, Diamond."

Diamond gently shakes her hand, scanning Soarynn's face which leads her to worry if she covered all of the marks Coriolanus gave her properly, "You're prettier than on television," Diamond tells her.

Soarynn withholds her sigh of relief and chuckles, "Well, thank you, that's very kind."

"Alright children, let's find our seats so we can listen to the morning announcements," Mrs. McDowell says with a clap of her hands. Diamond scurries back to her desk, right next to Ceraphina's and the girls start whispering about something, their eyes flitting to Soarynn every once in a while. Soarynn grins, remembering when she was that young and amazed by everything grown-ups did.

Soarynn stands back up and listens as the intercom crackles and the announcements begin. Most of them are mundane things like what will be served for lunch and what sports will be conducting practice after school for the older children. The children to their credit, listen attentively while Mrs. McDowell passes out papers to each of them.

Once the announcements commence, Mrs. McDowell comes to stand next to Soarynn, a bright smile on her face, "Today Ceraphina will be presenting her family tree project and the First Lady has so graciously taken the time out of her very busy day to join us."

All of the children softly gasp except for Ceraphina who kicks her feet in anticipation, "Now let's give Ceraphina our full attention while she shows us her family tree." Ceraphina slides out from behind her desk, skipping to the front to stand by Soarynn, "You can sit at my desk if you want Mommy," she whispers.

Soarynn eyes the very tiny seat that has been offered up to her, "That's very generous of you darling." Ceraphina looks up expectantly at her, clearly waiting for Soarynn to sit down so she does just that. It's a bit awkward sitting in such a small chair but Soarynn manages to do it although her knees are almost pulled up to her chest. It's a good thing she wore a long dress today.

Ceraphina nods in approval and turns to the chalkboard where Mrs. McDowell is hanging a large poster of sorts. Soarynn's eyes widen when she finally sees the family tree that Ceraphina has created and it's a very big family tree.

Ceraphina turns to face the class and clears her throat, "Good morning, my name is Ceraphina Snow and today I will be showing my family tree. Family trees are important because they help us keep track of our ance..." Her voice dies off and she glances over at Mrs. McDowell who gives her an encouraging nod, "'Cause it helps us keep track of our ancestors who are people that lived before us," Ceraphina finishes with a satisfying grin.

"My family tree has three sides, my Daddy's side," she points at a handsome photograph of Coriolanus, "my Mommy's side," she points at the photograph of Soarynn, "and my other Mommy's side," she says, touching a photograph of Livia. "My other Mommy isn't here anymore but now we have a new one because she married my Daddy," she explains, looking around the room to make sure everyone is following.

"My Daddy's parents got married and then they had him," Ceraphina points even further up the tree at two smaller photos of a Crassus Snow and his wife, "then he got married to my other Mommy," she drags her finger to Livia's photograph. "Her parents got married and had her. My Mommy and Daddy got married and they had me," Ceraphina points at herself, "my little sister Celeste and my little brother Caspian."

Soarynn follows the lines all the way down to the children's photographs and can't help but notice how cute they all look.

"But then, my Mommy got sick," Ceraphina says dramatically, pulling gasps from the children who most likely don't remember Livia, "so she died and we buried her in the ground." Soarynn looks around at the children's forlorn faces and Ceraphina bounces on her toes, "But then we got a new Mommy!"

Everyone perks up at her words, "My Daddy married my new Mommy, whose parents had her," she stands on her tiptoes and points at the photographs of Glen and Cera Nightingale, "and now we're all one big family."

Diamond lets out a relieved sigh as if this is a television show and not real life, "Over here I have other members of my family even though we aren't really related," Ceraphina says with a shrug, "I have Petunia who's our cat, then Eudora who tells my Daddy what to do and where to go." Soarynn has to cover her laugh with a cough, "We also have our bodyguards who keep us safe, Maximus and Grant. And that is my family tree!"

Ceraphina does a dramatic curtsy and everyone begins clapping including Soarynn. "Well done Ceraphina," Mrs. McDowell praises, "family trees are important because not all families are the same," she explains to the class, "they come in all different sizes."

Soarynn nods along to her words, they certainly do. The Snow family seems to be quite a set of wild cards but she wouldn't have it any other way. Not when it gave her the sweet little girl in front of her.

꧁ ꧂

It's only eleven o'clock in the morning but Soarynn is already tired. She blames it on the morning sex.

She's greeted by Eudora the second she steps inside, "How was Ceraphina's family tree presentation?" Soarynn takes off her coat and hands it to the Avox waiting to take her things, "It was adorable, " she tells the older woman, "she had photos of you and Petunia."

Speaking of Petunia, a white blur trots towards Soarynn and she grins, "Why hello little lady, looks like you finally decided to wake up hmm?"

Petunia is hardly affected by Coriolanus and Soarynn's active sex life. She has a very nice, comfortable cat bed that she sleeps in while her humans roll around in the sheets and she's never been afraid to sleep in.

Petunia purrs, rubbing her body against Soarynn's boots she chose to wear today, "No one has arrived yet for the lady's luncheon," Eudora informs her as they begin walking down the great hall, "two women had to cancel last minute and the table's already been set." Soarynn nods along to her words, running through the guest list for today's lady's luncheon. While Coriolanus deals with the elite men of the Capitol, Soarynn deals with the women.

Coriolanus has it much easier in her opinion.

Men are simple creatures with simple wants and needs. Women, on the other hand, are very complicated creatures who run off of emotions and Soarynn has dealt with a lot of emotions from different women this past week. She's attended a handful of social events since becoming First Lady and she's dealt with the three same things at every single one: drama, gossip, and tears.

Soarynn does her best to remain removed from any drama or gossip as it would taint her image along with her husband's image as well and she can't have that. She also just doesn't care for the frills of the elite social life the way other women do. Soarynn would much rather be curled up in the library with her children than at some gallery staring at white canvases with a single black dot in the middle.

She's voiced these feelings to Coriolanus who's simply said that her way of thinking is a rare thing to cherish in a world of gossiping, backstabbing women who never grew out of their schoolgirl days. He certainly has a blunt way of putting things.

"Where are the children?" Soarynn asks, ignoring any new updates for today's schedule. She's anxious to have her darlings back in her hold before she has to go host this luncheon and seeing all the adorable children in Ceraphina's class has only led her to want to have at least six more children. Coriolanus shouldn't mind and Soarynn would be more than happy to endure the pregnancies.

"In the playroom dear, oh, and the results from all of your testing finally came back," Eudora tells her, steering them towards the sitting room she does most of her work in. Soarynn focuses on the file sitting on the coffee table, the file that holds all the results from the various tests she and Coriolanus had to do before getting married.

Eudora bends down and grabs the file, holding it out to Soarynn, "Go over it when you have a minute or two. There shouldn't be anything amiss."

Soarynn hums and takes the file between her fingers, fighting the urge to sit down and read all of the results between her and her husband right now but she resists the urge. She has to see the children first. "I'm going to go see the children and freshen up before lunch," she tells Eudora, already making her way out of the sitting room.

Soarynn takes the back staircase and Petunia ends up joining her in climbing up all the stairs, "I should really start taking the elevator," Soarynn mumbles to herself. Coriolanus has mentioned the elevator before but she's never used it. She can hear Celeste and Caspian from down the hallway, giggling while they play together.

The first few days of Ceraphina going to school had been an adjustment, to say the least for everyone. Celeste had lost her partner in crime and Caspian suddenly was given a lot more attention by Celeste than he was used to. Caspian prefers to play by himself, building up his blocks, playing with his stuffed animals quietly in the corner while Ceraphina and Celeste go do whatever it is that they do.

To have Ceraphina gone was like missing a limb.

Soarynn often found herself turning to say something to her eldest daughter only to realize that she was at school and not by her side. Spending every waking moment with her children was a double-edged sword it seemed. She got to cherish every moment with them, every milestone. But those milestones meant they were growing up, getting too big to need help like they used to.

But she still has time with them and she can always have more children which will mean more time with them.

At least that's what she tells herself before walking into the playroom where Celeste and Caspian are busy building a tower out of their blocks. Celeste notices Soarynn first and perks up, a giant smile growing across her face, "Mommy!"

She almost sends their tower to the ground when she stands up and runs over to Soarynn, throwing her arms around Soarynn's legs. Soarynn chuckles, resting a loving hand on top of Celeste's curls, "Hello my darling. Did you two miss me?"

Caspian remains in his spot on the floor and nods, "Yes," he says, nodding his head, "Momma come play."

Well, she can't say no to that.

Celeste beams up at her and takes notice of the file in Soarynn's hand, "What's that Mommy?"

Soarynn shakes her head, "Just some paperwork darling."

She follows Celeste back over to the tower they're building and makes herself comfortable on the floor in between the children, asking them about this very impressive tower they're building.

"A princess lives inside of the tower," Celeste tells her matter-of-factly. Caspian adds another block to the base of the tower, "Lion." Celeste nods, "And a lion lives there too, they live together and the lion protects the princess 'cause there's a witch who wants..."

Soarynn smiles fondly while Celeste continues to explain the lore of the tower. She could say whatever she wanted and Soarynn would still find herself nodding along to her words, so enamored by the sweet girl.

Soarynn's eyes, unfortunately, drift back to the file sitting on the floor and she can't help but pick it up again and open it this time, scanning over the pages. Most of it is talking about things she doesn't really care about like her height and weight, how much muscle mass Coriolanus has. She's sure he'll spend hours reading over this when she gives it to him.

She flips to the next page, scanning over all of their blood work which seems to be normal thank goodness. She's sure that the doctor could explain it better in more detail to her if she asked him to. Soarynn turns to the next page and her eyes drop to the bottom of the page where she sees three words in bold.

Fertility Test Results

Her heart starts racing and she brings a shaky finger to the page, resting it on the words that hold her entire future.

She reads the next two lines.

Coriolanus Snow - Fertile Soarynn Nightingale - Infertile

Infertile.

Infertile?

Soarynn can't stop the sharp gasp from leaving her lips while she reads those words over and over again. This can't be, there must be some mistake. There's no way that she's infertile. She's so young, she has so much life ahead of her and yet she's incapable of creating it.

They must've mistyped this, Coriolanus will be sure to fire whoever is responsible for this. Oh, Coriolanus. How will she tell him? And what if she really is infertile?

Soarynn feels as if all of her hopes and dreams have been dashed from her before she could even start thinking about them. She can't have any children. She can't get pregnant no matter how much she tries.

Soarynn blinks back tears, she can't afford to cry right now, not in front of the children who remain oblivious to her internal dilemma.

"Soarynn dear, the ladies are beginning to arrive," Eudora says, knocking on the playroom doors. Celeste looks up at Soarynn with furrowed brows, "What's wrong Mommy? Why do you look so sad?" Soarynn has forgotten how perceptive the children can be, especially Celeste who's always worn her heart on her sleeve just like Soarynn.

Soarynn presses a smile to her lips and gently pats Celeste's cheek, "Nothing's wrong darling, I'm perfectly fine," she lies. Even though she's not. She's not fine, she's devastated.

But she has things to do, people to attend to, children to take care of.

"I'm going to go downstairs and have lunch with some very important ladies and after that, we can go pick up your sister from school okay?" She might as well treat today like a normal day for the sake of the children, and her sanity.

Celeste and Caspian nod, "Will you tell us about Ceraphina's project?" Celeste asks, grabbing onto Soarynn's arm. Celeste and Caspian had been very fascinated by the family tree project and offered their help to Ceraphina several times while she politely declined their offers. Soarynn debated taking them to the presentations today but decided against it after Coriolanus said they'd probably get antsy.

"I will," Soarynn confirms, swiftly placing a kiss on top of Celeste's head before leaning over to do the same with Caspian, "I'll be back soon okay?"

After making sure the children are okay, Soarynn follows Eudora down the hall towards the grand staircase, a million thoughts running through her mind. Coriolanus had said that he’s more than happy with the children they already have but Soarynn so badly wanted to get pregnant, to carry a little baby inside of her and then give birth. She wasn’t there for when the children were babies and there’s not enough photos that can make up for that.

She wanted her own baby and she doesn’t care how bad that sounds.

“…so don’t mention that to her and are you alright dear?” Soarynn nearly runs into Eudora who looks very concerned for Soarynn’s wellbeing, “Oh, I’m fine,” Soarynn waves her off, “just a bit hungry so I suppose it’s good that we’re about to eat.”

Soarynn can tell that Eudora doesn’t believe a word she says but she doesn’t push her which is greatly appreciated. Soarynn can already hear the excited chatter from the women downstairs, it’s not every day you get invited to have lunch in the President’s Mansion.

Soarynn can’t ruin this for them, not if she values her reputation as the ever-so-kind and gracious First Lady.

No, she’ll have to push through, wait until tonight when she can tell Coriolanus the devastating news.

After all, she’s done it before and she can do it again.

꧁ ꧂

“Such a beautiful family portrait,” Mrs. Heavensbee comments as they walk down the great hall. Lunch felt like the longest lunch Soarynn had ever been to.

It was filled with surface-level conversations and to no one’s surprise, gossip and drama. Soarynn was rather quiet at lunch and she hopes that no one took offense to it.

She looks up at the large portrait that now hangs on the wall, the same wall that was occupied by the portrait that had Livia in it.

This one looks a little bit different.

Coriolanus looks tremendously handsome in his black suit with his arm wrapped around Soarynn’s waist while she wears a beautiful red dress that drapes on the floor. The children sit in front of them on a decorative bench with Petunia in Ceraphina’s lap.

Getting Coriolanus to agree to let Petunia be in the official portrait was like pulling teeth but Soarynn luckily knew his weaknesses. After a few blow jobs, he would’ve agreed to anything.

“Thank you,” she says, allowing herself a genuine smile at the compliment, “we were quite pleased with how it turned out.”

They had it done the day she and Coriolanus got back from their honeymoon. There had been lots of whining from the children who didn’t want to sit still for that long and lots of lethal glares from Coriolanus who didn’t like whining children.

Soarynn played the Peacekeeper for the afternoon, soothing over hurt feelings from both sides and they managed to get what they needed which was all that really mattered.

“Do you have any plans for more children?”

That question cuts deep into Soarynn’s heart. She can’t cry now, not when she’s so close to getting all of these women out of her house. She simply shakes her head, “We haven’t discussed it yet,” she lies, acting nonchalant, “we already have three perfect children.” That part isn’t a lie.

Mrs. Heavensbee hums, she’s the perfect fit for her husband, both of them are somewhat reserved but very passionate when they want to be. She has two children of her own, Perlina and Plutarch who are in Ceraphina’s class.

“It was wonderful having you ladies,” Soarynn says, turning to face the rest of the group.

It really wasn’t but she’ll keep that to herself.

The women shower her with compliments about today's lunch and of course, her wedding. Even though it's been over a week since she got married, Soarynn is still asked about it. She'll have to start writing thank you cards for everyone who attended, heaven knows she'll be busy with that.

She makes sure everyone is in a car and on their way out before she allows herself to feel miserable again. How can she be unable to have children? Is this some sort of genetic thing? Is there a pill that she can take to fix it?

Marrying the President means having access to every procedure, pill, and doctor in all of Panem. If there's a way to fix this, Coriolanus will find it.

At least that's what she tells herself.

꧁ ꧂

Watching Capitol children spill out of the Academy building is not Soarynn's idea of a perfect afternoon but the children always get so excited to accompany Soarynn when she goes to pick up Ceraphina. She could hardly deny them of this small joy, even if she herself wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Oh, I see her! I see her Mommy!"

Celeste jumps up and down while holding Soarynn's hand, eager to reunite with her big sister. Soarynn had given up on trying to place Ceraphina in such a large crowd of children, instead, she searched for her bodyguard Maximus who was heads above even the tallest Academy student. And sure enough, she finds him and Ceraphina is right in front of him, her hair blonde as ever.

"School," Caspian says, pointing at the building. Soarynn hums, Caspian has been more talkative lately and she couldn't be happier. She and Coriolanus had spoken with several child behaviorists who said that the reason for his quietness was due to the fact that his mother died when he was still attached to her. Livia's death hindered his speech but now that he had a constant motherly figure in his life, Soarynn, he'd start talking more and more.

The man assured the couple that Caspian would be talking just like his sisters by the time he started going to school.

"That's right darling," Soarynn nods, "one day you'll go to school with your big sisters." Celeste pulls on Soaryn's hand, "When do I get to start ballet lessons?"

Coriolanus had decided that he wanted to enroll the girls in some sort of extracurricular activity in the new year. Soarynn had suggested lots of things such as painting, and singing, but dancing was something he and the girls both agreed on. The girls were enamored by the ballerinas they saw in their beautiful costumes.

They'd start in January but Celeste struggled to understand the concept of time. She just wanted to wear the slippers and tutu.

"In January darling," Soarynn tells her, "so in about a month."

"Can we go ride Snowflake when we get home?"

"Of course, we can sweetheart."

With the riding lessons, piano lessons, and now ballet lessons, Soarynn was bound to have her hands full getting the girls from one place to another. Coriolanus had suggested they hire a nanny and Soarynn nearly suggested that he go for a long walk outside.

She was the nanny. Now she was the children's mother. They didn't need a nanny when they had her.

No matter how thin she'd be spread, she refused to look into hiring a nanny. It was out of the question.

꧁ ꧂

"Go Snowflake go!"

Soarynn chuckles while Ceraphina tries to get Snowflake to pick up the pace but he's been trained to trot inside of the paddock, not gallop. "Take it slow darling," she calls out, "you don't want to wear him out."

It's a cold day in November, one of the last ones before they step into December which means lots of holiday events to attend. But today isn't windy which makes being outside much more bearable. Soarynn had bundled herself and the children in thick, warm coats with mittens and gloves to match. She didn't want anyone getting sick before such a busy month.

She shivers when remembering the time that Ceraphina got sick from a classmate at school and gave it to Celeste and Caspian. It had been a rough week in the Snow household. Coriolanus had practically barricaded himself in his study, claiming he couldn't afford to get sick.

Soarynn had rolled her eyes when he said that, men were so dramatic when it came down to getting sick, acting as if their arms had been cut off.

"Mommy, why is the sky gray?"

Soarynn looks up at the cloudy gray sky, it's been gloomy all day, just like her mood. "It's probably going to snow darling," she says to Celeste, "or rain."

"Are we gonna have dinner with Daddy tonight?"

Soarynn shakes her head and gives Celeste a small smile, "No sweetheart, we have dinner with him on Sundays, remember?"

After asking her to marry him, Coriolanus unknowingly exposed himself to a new lifestyle and routine now that Soarynn was here to stay. That lifestyle included having dinner as a family once a week. She wasn't unrealistic, asking him to have dinner with them every night was impossible with his busy schedule but on Sunday nights, no matter how busy he was, they all had dinner together.

The children loved it. They missed having dinner with their father so to see him for breakfast and dinner was a treat as special as any. Soarynn secretly hoped that one day he might take all of Sunday off to spend it with them but she was taking it slow, baby steps were necessary with a man like Coriolanus who despises lack of control or change.

"Oh, sorry I forgot," Celeste mumbles. Soarynn feels a frown tugging her lips down and she crouches down so that she's at eye-level with Celeste, "There's no need to apologize, Celeste, it was an honest mistake."

She reaches out to hold Celeste's face in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the child's cheek, "But I was thinking that tonight we might make dinner extra special by having breakfast for dinner."

Celeste gasps, her bright blue eyes wide as saucers, "We can do that?" Soarynn laughs, she's never done it before herself but it sounds like a fun idea, something to spice things up from their normal routine. "We sure can," she answers, "we can have waffles and pancakes, and all your favorite things."

Caspain butts in after hearing about the possibility of pancakes, his favorite breakfast food, "Panacakes?" Soarynn and Celeste giggle, "Yes sweet boy, we can have pancakes."

Celeste runs over to the paddock gate and grabs onto it, "Ceraphina! We're gonna have breakfast for dinner tonight! Mommy says so!"

Ceraphina pulls on the reigns, bringing Snowflake to a halt, "Really?" She asks, her voice doubtful. Being the oldest means she's grown to expect promises to be broken, mainly by her father who struggled to keep his word while trying to put their broken family back together.

Soarynn stands back up, a determined look on her face, "Really," she nods, "it'll be fun."

Ceraphina grins, "Okay!"

Soarynn might still feel sorry for herself but she'd never let that get in the way of the children she has right now, children she won't ever take for granted.

꧁ ꧂

Everything was going great until Ceraphina and Celeste asked how they were born.

Which was something Soarynn had limited knowledge of for a number of reasons. She hadn't been working for the Snows when the girls were born and even if she was, she certainly wouldn't have been there for the birth. But that didn't stop the girls from asking more questions about giving birth which to her luck, led to questions about being pregnant.

It was like a stab to the heart.

She answered all of their questions calmly and patiently before kissing them goodnight and promising to see them tomorrow. Only when she closed the doors behind her did the tears start to form in her eyes.

It just wasn't fair, wasn't fair that she couldn't get pregnant.

Since she could remember she's always wanted to be a mother, to have a baby and raise it as her own.

But she can't. She can't and her head hurts and she's tired and all she wants in the whole wide world right now is her husband. She slips off her heels before trudging downstairs to his study. She doesn't know how she'll tell him, how she'll apologize for not being a good wife, the wife fit for a Snow.

She vowed to bear any children he'd gift to her and she already broke it.

A few tears roll down her cheeks as she finally reaches the doors that lead to his study. She raises her fist to knock but stops when she hears voices inside. He's busy, probably in a meeting. Should she knock, she'll be told that he's busy and she can't let anyone see her like this. No, she'll just wait.

She sits on the small, decorative sofa that sits right outside of his study, pressed against the wall under a portrait of his father, Crassus Xanthos Snow. She looks up at it for a moment, he looks stern, commanding, she can see where Coriolanus got it from. She wonders if this man would see her as a good fit for his son.

Probably not.

Soarynn sits there for what feels like hours, watching the moon through the large windows across from her. She should just go to bed and tell him in the morning but Soarynn can't bear to carry this burden any longer.

She's about to fall asleep when she hears the doors to his study open accompanied by several men grumbling among one another. She slowly pushes herself to her feet, in no rush to face her humiliation. One of the men finally looks in her direction and clears his throat, bowing at the waist, "Madame Snow."

Soarynn musters up a graceful smile when the other man takes notice of her as well and does the same thing, paying their respects. Quintus is the last one out and he looks more concerned than surprised to see her lingering outside her husband's study so late at night.

"Our meeting ran a bit longer," he explains, "we do hate to keep you from your husband this late into the night." Soarynn shakes her head, she doesn't even care at this point, "It's quite alright. Have a good night Quintus."

Rarely does she ever dismiss anyone in her house but she wants to be alone with Coriolanus. She doesn't need spectators.

Quintus thankfully picks up on this and nods, "Good night Madame Snow."

Soarynn watches him walk down the long hallway, chatting with the others as if there's anything left to talk about in this world before she walks into the empty study. Coriolanus is sitting by the fireplace, deep in thought from the looks of it. He merely tilts his head in her direction, "Did you leave something behind?"

Soarynn quietly closes the doors behind her, she doesn't even want the Avoxes to hear her. "It's me," she whispers.

Coriolanus finally looks over at her and his stern expression melts off immediately, "Darling, I thought you'd be in bed at this hour." Soarynn shrugs and forces herself not to cry, "I'm not," is all she says.

Coriolanus reaches a hand out, silently asking her to come to him and she does, slower than usual but she feels like she's been chained to the ground. The moment her fingers find his, he's pulling her into his lap, resting her thighs over his and wrapping an arm around her waist. It's the type of gentleness she needs right now.

Coriolanus kisses her cheek, the smell of roses lingers around him at all hours of the day, "How was your day hmm? Did Ceraphina's presentation go well?"

Soarynn thinks back to this morning, it feels like a hundred years ago. She remembers the family tree, how under Coriolanus and Livia's name were the names of their children.

There will be no names under hers.

"It was good," she whispers, watching the fire crackle with the firewood. Coriolanus gently rests a hand on her cheek, making her look at him, "Soarynn, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Soarynn gasps, the floodgates are wide open now. "I can't," she cries, tears spilling down her cheeks in an instant, "I can't and I've broken my vows."

she can see how conflicted and confused he is by her words, "You broke...you broke your vows? How? Darling, tell me what happened and we'll make it right."

Soarynn shakes her head, she's sobbing now, "We can't. We can't have children together."

She watches through tears as Coriolanus tries to understand her, "The results," she gasps, "I can't get pregnant."

Soarynn wants to die, she wants to close her eyes and never wake up. The stress of the wedding, of becoming First Lady, of being the perfect wife and mother has all crashed down on her all at once.

She can see how heartbroken he is, even if he tries to hide it. She knows how badly he would've loved for them to have more children together.

Soarynn buries her face in his shirt, staining it with her tears and mascara no doubt but she doesn't care right now. She feels him cradling her head, murmuring words that she doesn't care to hear right now.

She just wants to sleep and wake up to realize that this was all a bad dream.

It's all a bad dream.

꧁ ꧂

"...test results were negative..."

"...doctors can't do anything..."

"... she's heartbroken..."

"...could always go the surrogate route..."

꧁ ꧂

When Soarynn wakes up, she's in her bedroom.

The lights are dim and her mouth is dry.

Soarynn slowly sits up, groaning at her stiff limbs, she ought to start stretching before going to bed each night.

Soarynn looks over at her bedside table and sees a glass of water and two red pills next to it, no explanation as to what they'll do. She takes the water but not the pills.

Coriolanus isn't in bed but she can see the bathroom light is on. A meow comes from the floor and Soarynn cranes her neck to see Petunia looking up at her, tail bushy and ears perked. Soarynn pats the space next to her and Petunia expertly leaps onto the bed, immediately climbing into Soarynn's lap. She absentmindedly pets her soft fur, wondering what time it is, if Coriolanus is going to file for divorce. She vaguely remembers hearing his voice along with Eudora's but she doesn't exactly remember what they said.

"Oh, Petunia," she sighs, "I just got everything I ever wanted and now I'm back to where I started."

She hears a snort come from the bathroom and looks over to find Coriolanus standing in the doorway, shirtless, wearing only his boxers and an amused expression on his face. "If I recall, you started as a single, childless, quiet woman with no living family besides that cat," he says calmly, "have we already come full circle?"

Soarynn blushes and looks down, she was just being dramatic but he has a point, "No," she mumbles, "I have more than I could ever dream of." And she does. She has a husband who loves her, children who adore her, a beautiful home to call her own, food, water, all the clothes she could want, and then some. She's the luckiest woman in Panem and here she is throwing herself a pity party.

Coriolanus pads over to her side of the bed, gently sitting down next to her, "Darling," he reaches out and brushes some of her hair behind her ear, "I read over all the test results."

Soarynn looks up at him, eager to hear that it was wrong, that she misread something. He sighs, "The results were correct, you're infertile and can't get pregnant no matter what we do."

Her entire body deflates, she's gutted all over again. She had held onto a sliver of hope that maybe he'd find a way to fix this but not even Coriolanus Snow could help her. "Oh," she says glumly, "there's not...there's not like a surgery or a shot I could get?" She gives him a hopeful, desperate look but he can only return it with a sad smile, "My love, there's nothing we can do. I called the doctor and we went over every possible option. Anything we could remotely try would either lead to your death or the baby's death and I won't ever risk that."

Soarynn feels angry at him even though he's completely justified in his reasoning. Would she risk her life for her child's life? Absolutely. But could she handle losing her baby? No, she'd be devastated.

"I just really wanted it," she whispers, her voice breaks but as long as he's here then she'll be okay, "I just really wanted to have another baby." Coriolanus wraps an arm around her, comforting her in her lowest moments as he vowed to do, "I did too," he tells her softly, "but Soarynn, you can't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. The doctor suspects it might be genetic, think of your own mother and what happened to her. Even she struggled to get pregnant if I recall."

Her breath catches in her throat she hadn't even thought of it like that but he's right. Perhaps the same fate fell onto her own mother but she was able to get pregnant. Except she didn't survive. Only Soarynn did, leaving her father alone and she knows that Coriolanus will be damned if he's left alone again.

Even if it means that his wife will be miserable for the rest of their lives, she knows he'll take that chance over anything else any day.

"Livia struggled too," he whispers, "she...she almost lost Ceraphina midway through the pregnancy. And my own mother died trying to give birth to my little sister. We've suffered from enough tragedy at the hands of childbirth for a lifetime darling, we have three beautiful children who are just down the hall so I think we should make the most of it, don't you?"

Soarynn sniffles, wiping away any last tears before looking up at him, "I do," she says, "I want to make the most of it, even if I'll always think about what could've been." Coriolanus hums, pressing a kiss to her temple, "I know you would've been good, a good mother to our new baby but we can't get caught in the past, trust me I know."

Soarynn nods, Coriolanus refuses to linger in the past, marrying her is a clear testament to that belief.

She leans into his hold, feeling safe and above all, loved once again despite her flaws, "I love you," she says.

He tightens his grip on her, "In sickness and in health darling, I'll always love you."

Always is such a sweet promise to make.

꧁ ꧂

꧁ One Year Later ꧂

"Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to sit down with us Madame Snow."

Soarynn smiles warmly at the interviewer, "Please, call me Soarynn."

She's gotten used to living in the spotlight, being questioned for every little thing she does but Soarynn is happy with this life she's chosen. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Alright, Soarynn, your husband just won the election, what was it like to be by his side in such a tense few months?"

Soarynn remembers the months leading up to the election, how stressed Coriolanus had been, how many meetings and interviews he conducted. He won it by a landslide but still, he had been so worried. Soarynn did what she did best, she comforted him, reassured him that he'd win, and did her best to spread her own influence amongst the people of the Capitol.

Since marrying Coriolanus, she's been adored by the Capitol, widely known as the 'Captiol's Darling' due to how many people love her.

"It was a testament to our marriage," she answers, "I vowed to stand by him no matter what, win or lose and I did. To see him do what he does best fulfills me, it fulfills our family."

The interviewer nods, "How did you come to know President Snow?"

Soarynn finds it almost strange to think back to the time when she barely knew Coriolanus, when she worked for him, and worried that she'd lose the children every day.

"I was employed by the Snow family following Livia Snow's death," she tells the woman, "Coriolanus and I got to know each other and the rest is history."

The woman hums, jotting down some notes, "If you don't mind me asking, what was your job under the Snow family? Were you an assistant to President Snow?"

Soarynn smiles, she's forgotten how many people are unaware of how she came to know the people she loves so dearly in her heart. She often wonders what her life would be like if she never applied for the position, if she never got hired, if she never let herself and her walls down around Coriolanus.

She shakes her head, she doesn't mind at all. She sits up straight and proud, knowing that she carries the Snow name and its legacy.

"I was the nanny."

| Part 14. | Final Part |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| taglist: @strawberriicakes @wonderlandbound111 @villiansarehottest @kickmybark @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @melodyoflovee |

[shubblelive]

— INVITATION

summary : after a long day of work, wilbur is desperate to curl up and spend time with his favourite girl. only problem is you’re not speaking to him.

genre : angst -> fluff, happy ending

warnings : light swearing, mentions of food/eating, wilbur being mean

pairing : cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

pronouns : she/her, reader is called a girl

featuring : cc!wilbur soot

requested : Could you do a wilbur fic where the reader is an overall bubbly, energetic person and wilbur just suddenly lashes out at her one day, and she apologizes and goes home, and wilbur tries to call her and apologize and everything in the end it’s just fluff and apologies<33 tyy

word count : 2.1k

note : hi anon!! i hope you enjoy this fic, it’s a bit longer than i expected but i’m very very happy with it <3 also you referred to reader using she/her so i used those pronouns in the fic i hope that’s alright <333

you were wearing his favourite jumper. it was yours - he’d swear on it - but you were adamant that it belonged to him. it had, originally, as most of your jumpers were, been his. but he’d given it to you months ago, and you were still promising that you were going to return it one day. he hoped you didn’t.

you’d been stealing his clothes for as long as you two had been together, for the last four years he had bought every single shirt, jumper, jacket, with the knowledge that you would steal it. it made sense, in your earliest days, when the two of you were long distance. you’d arrive at his flat for a week with a half-packed suitcase, and you’d leave with nearly a drawer full of his sweaters. but even now that you lived ten minutes away, you still had a habit of nabbing his sweaters. he didn’t mind in the slightest, and most of the time he would offer up suggestions for articles of clothing you could take. you guys had been together for nearly five years, it felt weird for him to be territorial on his clothes, especially because you’d return them whenever he asked, the scent of your perfume mingling on the fabric. he absolutely loved seeing you so happy, and if you stealing a shirt or two did that then he was more than willing to comply.

or at least, he was usually. now, he was running late for a stream and he couldn’t find his grey jumper. he’d been tearing his bedroom apart piece by piece in an attempt to find it so he didn’t have to walk through the rain in just a t-shirt. he sighed and sat down on his bed, remembering that he gave it to you when he went over to your apartment earlier in the week. it had been five days since he’d seen you in person, and it was driving him crazy. he had planned to spend the night at your place after his stream though, and that was pulling him through. it was fine, he took a few deep breaths and went to go and find a jacket to wear, already pulling up twitter to post the stream would be ten or so minutes late. he remembered to tweet out about his late stream, but he hadn’t remembered to text you to tell you that he would be late coming over. you’d organised for seven, which gave him nearly three hours of streaming time, and he assured you that he wouldn’t be going for that long. he ended up jumping on a call with some other people while he played, though, and that completely distracted him. leaving the office at eight, he had his phone on speaker as he tried to order an uber and call you at the same time. he was exhausted, and of course he wanted to see you and spend time with his favourite girl, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to reach your house without falling asleep, and being more social sounded like torture.

his jacket was rough against his arms, and he remembered suddenly about the jumper. your call timed out and he finished ordering the uber for his own flat, moving to text you and tell you he didn’t feel up to hanging out.

he opened your message history, and was hit with a message from you from half-past six, over an hour and a half ago. hi wil, you’d opened with, and he softened, knowing his annoyance didn’t really mean anything. my neighbours are being really loud, so do you mind if we meet at your place? can’t wait to see you. there was another two, each sent half an hour apart, a second one apologising for messaging while he was streaming, and a third saying, hi i let myself in i hope that’s okay. are you almost home? your most recent message was nearing forty-five minutes ago, and he cursed under his breath, cancelling the uber knowing it would be faster for him to walk than wait.

he reached his apartment out of breath and cold, and he couldn’t wait to collapse into bed. he still got to see you, and hopefully your smile would be enough to rid himself of any residual annoyance he held towards you.

he dropped his guitar case on the floor in the living room, calling out your name. “lovely? you still here?”

he heard a crash from the kitchen and took his coat off, slinging it over the arm of the couch. “hang on!”

he had a headache, and he massaged his temple as he made his way into the kitchen. you brightened the second he arrived, all but running into his arms. “hi, darling,” he needed alone time. he loved you, of course he loved. you were one of the most important people in his entire life, he absolutely adored you. but right now, he craved being by himself. you were here though, so he wasn’t going to make that your problem.

“hi, wil! sorry about the mess!” you smiled up at him. “i thought i’d make food? are you hungry?”

he shook his head. “no, you’re alright. want any help?” this time it was you who shook your head, and he kissed your temple before going to sit down on the couch, closing his eyes. you’d eat, and then you guys would be able to go to bed, and when he woke up in the morning you would be there, and he’d get to take you out for breakfast and spend the entire day with you. he just needed rest.

there was something you needed, and it was on the top shelf. you didn’t want to bother wilbur, he’d just got home, you could do it yourself. wilbur was much taller than you, so to get to his top shelf you would have to climb up on the counter. you’d be alright, you didn’t need to stand up or anything, just kneeling on the bench would be fine. you got up there with ease, but wilbur came through the doorway right as you started reaching. “what are you doing?” he’d been too loud, he knew that instantly, you jumped, and he had to rush forward and stop you from falling off the counter. “what on earth are you on the counter for?”

“i was trying to reach the bowl,” you said quietly. he stroked your cheek with his thumb.

“why didn’t you come get me?”

he helped you down. “i’m sorry, wil. didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted. he felt a flash of annoyance, and then kicked himself for it. you were never a bother, not even when he was exhausted.

“you should have asked for help.” he said simply. “do you need anything else?”

you smiled up at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to return it. “do you wanna watch a movie? i’ve been hearing good things about this one new one, here let me-”

“stop,” he breathed out. “i’m exhausted, and i just want to be alone, and you’re here, in my kitchen crashing around and almost hurting yourself! i can’t do this right now?”

your smile ebbed, and you took a step back. “why didn’t you say anything?”

“because i didn’t want to upset you,” he sighed out, running a hand through his hair. “i just can’t do this tonight,”

“you invited me-”

“you invited yourself!” he wasn’t yelling, no, he had enough patience to not be yelling at you, but his voice was raised. “i didn’t invite you over to my house into my kitchen, to wear my sweaters.”

you’d been together for half a decade. neither of you needed an invitation, you both knew that. wilbur had given you a key because he wanted you to let yourself in whenever you needed. he’d spent entire days in your flat without you there while you were away. this had never been an issue before, and he made sure you knew that.

you stood still for a moment before reaching down and pulling off the jumper of his he’d been looking for, leaving you in a black long sleeved shirt underneath. you tossed it to him. “because you never thought to call me and let me know you’d be late. by over an hour.” you were quiet, quieter than you usually were. your voice was loud, and bright and he revelled in it, soaking up every little comment you made, every “i love you,” every giggle, he adored it.

“because not everything i do has to do with you,” he was verging on cruel, and he knew it. “i had a long day at work, and i just want to be alone, but you’re here. so i have to cater to you.”

you didn’t reply, just brushing past him, with a soft “sorry” as your arm brushed his. you grabbed your stuff and left in silence, deciding on walking home.

he rested his forehead against the closest surface - the fridge - and swore under his breath. he was still holding your jumper, and he brought it up to his face, burying his nose in it. it smelled like lavender.

he fished his phone out to call you as he retook his place on the couch, cheek still pressing into the jumper. it was soft. he loved it. he loved you. he was such an asshole.

he called. you ignored him. he called again, three times. four times over the half an hour until he knew you were home and he knew you were ignoring him. his headache had increased, and all he wanted was for you to be resting in his lap, drinking you in while you watched your movie. he opened his phone again, not to call you this time, but instead to order an uber for your place. god, they were probably making so much money off him tonight but if he had to walk the entire way to your house, he’d collapse of exhaustion. he was there within fifteen minutes, thankfully this driver not getting him lost, and he payed with one hand as he bounded up the stairs with the other. he brought out his keys on autopilot and then remembered what he’d said, putting them down to knock on your door instead.

“darling!” this time he was yelling. he didn’t care though, he needed you to hear him. it took three more times knocking and five more yelled pet names before you opened the door. your eyes were red, and you had changed into softer clothes, these ones all belonging to you. “i’m so sorry,” the words spilled from his mouth before he could stop them. “i’m sorry i got angry, i’ve been so tired recently and that’s not your fault nor your problem, but i took it out on you and you don’t deserve that, lovely.”

“i didn’t want to bother you,” you said softly, voice barely above a whisper. he took a step closer to you hesitantly, and when you didn’t step back he wrapped his arms around you.

“you’re never a bother,” he said, voice pouring with affection to make up for his thoughts betraying him earlier. “i love you more than anything. i’m sorry i didn’t show you that tonight,”

“i’m sorry for going in without you telling me,” you said.

he shook his head vehemently. “i gave you a key, lovely. i gave you a key because any space with you is better than one without.” he took your face in his hands and made you look at him as he spoke, trying to get you to absorb every word he was saying. “i want to spend the rest of my life with you, and i can’t do that if you can’t get into my house.”

you looked like you were about to start crying again, and he kissed you gently. “i’m sorry,”

“don’t be sorry,” he assured you. “just let me in? i want to watch a movie with you.” your smile came back, if only slightly, and he knew he was making progress. you brightened up every room you were in, and even if you were a little loud, and too bubbly, and you stole his sweaters, he wouldn’t want you to be any different. he kissed you again, slowly and gently and when he pulled back your eyes were sparkling. “lovely?” you hummed to show you were listening. “when we get a place together, promise you won’t climb on the counters?”

“i don’t know if i can commit to that,” you said, laughing softly. “but i’ll see what i can do.”

[calaisreno]

Classified

It’s Schrödinger’s wedding. 

1952 Words / Prompt: Jealousy

We’re sitting among the boxes of invitations, the venue’s brochures, and several dozen napkins folded into Sydney Opera Houses. John looks exhausted, and now that Mary’s gone home, I’ve suggested a break. 

I pour John a glass of scotch and hand it to him, struggling for the right words to open this discussion. If I’m not careful, it could end badly.

Sinking into my chair, I simply say, “Don’t.” 

John swallows a mouthful of whisky. “Don’t what?”

He looks confused. Of course. I’m terrible at this. Sentiment, feelings, honesty.

“Don’t… marry her.”

John sighs. “Sherlock.”

“Please, John. Just don’t.”

Confusion has given way to stubbornness, and of all people, John Watson is the most stubborn person I’ve ever known. It’s hopeless, ridiculous that I even brought this up. But it has to be said.

That night at the Landmark, when John was trying to strangle me, I promised myself that I would stop lying to him. Stop shading the truth. Just be honest. Who deserves the truth more than John, who grieved for two years, thinking his best friend was dead?

Best friend. More than I ever expected to have from this stubborn, loyal, surprising man who has always followed me, even after I broke his heart. He deserves the truth. 

And I deserve nothing. But I can’t let the man I love be hurt again, even if it means… well, I hope this won’t be our last conversation.

“What is this about?” John’s face wears that dogged expression. 

“I love you,” I begin. “And I’ve hurt you too much to pretend this is fine.”

John’s eyes widen, then narrow. “You love me. What am I supposed to do with that?”

“You called me your best friend. I don’t care what you make of it—“

“You don’t do feelings. Married to your work, grit on the lens—“

“You’re not the only one who’s grieved, John. Yes, I do have feelings. And I would be prepared to set them aside, to accept that I do not deserve your love, but I owe you the truth.”

“You love me.”

It’s bad enough that John seems to be stuck on you love me. That isn’t even the point right now. (Note to self: next time, lead with your wife-to-be is probably an assassin.) 

“Yes. Which is why I’m about to tell you the last thing you want to hear right now.”

“I’m about to get married, Sherlock! Why are you doing this now— you’ve never given me the tiniest clue that you even considered me a friend. I don’t have friends. Remember that? What is this— are you jealous? Is that what this is about?” 

I’m terrible at this. I’ve vowed to be honest, not to keep John in the dark all the time, and all John is taking from this is that I’m jealous. 

I try again. “You’re about to marry a woman you don’t know. A woman who is lying to you.”

Now John’s wearing his isn’t this ironic face. “Oh, well, I suppose I should be used to people who love me lying to me! You’ve given me plenty of practice, you know.”

“I realise my apology for that is inadequate. I understand that you will never return my feelings, and I will live with that. I’m not jealous. Marry whomever you want, John— just not her. She’s not who she claims to be. I’m telling you this because I believe you’re in danger.”

“All right, then.” Still angry, but also curious. “Tell me. Who is she?”

“I don’t know yet. I do know that she’s not Mary Morstan, who was stillborn in 1972 and buried in Chiswick Cemetery. The night I met her, I deduced that she’s hiding something, so I went to Mycroft. While I was gone, he was supposed to keep an eye on you because we believed Moriarty’s organisation might still take action against you. When I realised that she was not who she said she was, I gave him an earful for letting an unknown close to you.”

“And what did he say?”

“Nothing. He wouldn’t tell me anything about her. Classified. Which tells me most of what I needed to know. He knows exactly who she is, which suggests that she’s an agent of some sort, probably freelance. She may have done work for the British government, which would be how he knew her.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re an agent of the government, I believe. Don’t even try telling me you weren’t working for your brother these past two years. Maybe she doesn’t have clearance to tell me what kind of work she did.”

“But she hasn’t even mentioned it, has she? She told you she’s a nurse. And she’s using a name that’s not her own. You’re marrying her, John— the fact that she’s assumed a false identity—“

“—means that she’s in some sort of witness protection. That she doesn’t have clearance to tell anyone.“ Annoyed, but not in denial. Uncomfortable now that he’s thinking about it. 

“Mycroft would have said if that were the case. And he would have threatened me to keep my hands off. The fact that he’s said nothing means that she’s part of an active investigation. And most likely not currently working for the British government. If she were, he would have said.”

John is silent. 

“Ignorance is not bliss, John. You made that point quite forcefully the night I returned.”

“She’s active?” He looks dazed. 

“Mycroft wouldn’t say. But it’s not the kind of work anyone actually leaves behind.” 

“And you’re telling me this now? You couldn’t have said sooner? Christ, we’ve started planning the wedding!” Angry again.

“I wasn’t sure. I’m more certain now, though.”

John has reached his limit. “I… I’ve got to go. I can’t deal with this now. Just… I’m going.” He grabs his coat, stuffs his arms in the sleeves, and marches out the door.

… (Continues below cut)

I return from buying milk (I really must be losing my mind if I’m going to the shops, but tea requires milk and sugar and Mrs Hudson is still showing her displeasure at my inexplicable return by not running errands for me) and find Mycroft sitting in my chair. He knows, of course, which chair is mine and which is John’s, and is making a statement whose meaning I can guess. Power dynamics: my chair. 

Considering who’s paid the rent for the last two years, it actually is Mycroft’s chair. I make tea, hand a mug to Mycroft, and sit in John’s chair. 

“Well, brother.” He gives me an appraising look. 

I’m used to the evaluation; it happens every time I see my brother, that once-over to determine if (a) I’ve relapsed, (b) I’ve done something else Mycroft will regret, or c) I’m about to lie about something not covered under (a) or (b). The best way to side-track this is to get on his nerves.

“This is about John, isn’t it?” I blow on my tea. “Otherwise you would have called.”

“He came to see me yesterday, directly from seeing you. Asking what I knew about Mary Morstan. Now, where did he get the idea that she’d been lying to him, if not from you?”

“You didn’t swear me to silence.”

Mycroft sips his tea, but says nothing. He’s very good at keeping his own counsel. 

“I asked him not to marry her,” I say. “I don’t have any real proof, other than what I told him, but reasoned that it would be better not to leave it until the last moment. I’m wondering, though, why you were willing to let it happen. You let her close to John, when it’s obvious she was planted in his surgery because of me.”

Mycroft smirks. “You don’t think it was Dr Watson’s charms that drew her to him?”

“Mary Morstan isn’t like the others. Who is she working for?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you can guess.”

“I’m not giving you an unfounded hypothesis, Sherlock. The matter is still classified.” He shifts in his seat, watching me, then relents a bit. “You’re not wrong about her. But we cannot afford to tip her off yet. The marriage will be invalid, of course.”

(Note to self: Kill Mycroft.)

“This should never have happened. John is not a chess piece, a thing to be sacrificed for your game. Now, go away. I don’t want to talk to you until you can give me some answers.”

Without a word, Mycroft stands, tucks his umbrella under his arm, glares at me, and leaves. 

…

It’s night, and I’m walking. No particular destination, just around the park until I’m too tired to walk further. 

When I finally open the door of 221B, John is sitting on the stairs. 

He looks up at me, but doesn’t speak. And for once, I can’t read his look. Either he’s said something to Mary, or he hasn’t. She’s lied to him, or she’s told him the truth. He’s forgiven her or he’s broken it off. 

It’s Schrödinger’s wedding. 

I hang my coat by the door. He still hasn’t spoken, but budges over to make room for me.

“You said you love me.”

“Yes.”

“You promised not to lie.”

“I’m not lying. I do love you.”

“I mean, about Mary.”

“I spoke with Mycroft. She’s part of an active investigation, as I guessed. He wouldn’t give me details.”

“Jesus. And you love me.” 

I feel his eyes on me, but say nothing. Either he accepts it, or he doesn’t.

“You told me you were married to your work. That’s a pretty clear signal you weren’t interested. Why did you say that?”

“Because I was a coward. And soon you were dating women, which was also a clear signal, and there wasn’t any point in bringing it up again.”

“When you say love, what do you mean?”

“I want you to be happy. If that’s with someone other than me, fine. But someone who’s lying to you cannot make you happy.”

He leans closer, his shoulder against mine. “And what would make you happy? If you could have anything you want?”

“A locked room triple homicide, no murder weapon.”

He gives a low chuckle. “Idiot. I mean, what do you want from me?”

“Whatever you’ll give me. I’m prepared to be your friend for life, if that’s what you want.”

“Nothing more? Just friends? Not romantic?”

No lies, not now. “Yes, I want more. I want you to live here, to sleep in my bed, yes— with all that entails. To never leave me. But I will take what I can—”

“Yes. All of it.”

It’s my turn to be silent. 

He rubs his eyes. Sleepless night. “I told her I couldn’t marry her. You’d best let Mycroft know if he’s trying to suss her out. She’s already packing her bags.”

“Did she tell you what she is?”

“I didn’t ask. I just told her I was in love with you.”

I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut. No, I feel like what I imagine when I think of kissing John. Breathless, heart-pounding. 

“Are you in love with me?”

“I thought you knew.” He smiles, takes my hand in his own. “Yes, I am.”

My voice shakes. “And what did she say?”

“She already knew.” His smile broadening, John leans in. 

The kiss is better than any I could imagine. 

He doesn’t let go when it ends. “So, if I’d decided to marry her anyway…” He grins. “What was your plan for that?”

The truth. I promised. “I was going to kidnap you.”

He gives me a smouldering look. “You could still do that.”

(Note to self: I’m going to have to get used to John Watson’s love language.)

...

Read/comment on AO3

[balrogballs]

Who's taller, Elrond or Celebrían? I must hear your thoughts.

I have so many thoughts on this!

Imo it’s a Galadriel/Celeborn situation where they’re the exact same height and have a similar build — as in, she’s relatively tall for a female elf thanks to Galadriel but not as tall as her because Celeborn was of average height, and Elrond is relatively tall for a man but somewhat shorter and slighter than the average male elf because both his parents were half-Elven hence neither of them being particularly tall.

How does this play out?

They share clothes but it is one sided to start with. By which I mean, Elrond is very much his movie-self in this regard and has reams and reams of robes, both extravagant Noldorin decadence and Sindarin (relative) simplicity. Buddy has a whole ass walk in wardrobe. Celebrían borrows them all without asking, and not a month goes by where he isn’t running around their quarters in nothing but a pair of trousers losing his nut because she wore his pure woven silk shawl as a riding scarf and now it’s got two holes in it. Sometimes he goes to bed and trips over something and it’s just his expensive gold laced tunic that she wore as a sleep shirt until it got itchy and she tossed it on the ground. Every time she does this he loses a year of his life and tries to give her a complete lecture, of which she listens to 0% of. Glorfindel vividly remembers the squeak he made when he saw baby Elladan puke on Cel’s breastfeeding maternity top, also known as “Elrond’s wedding tunic which cost half as much as the wedding itself”.

After she sails, it’s the other way around. Arwen was told by Cel that she could wear anything of hers that she left behind, and she does. Half the time she’s very confused as to where some of the items disappear to, since her other three family members were blokes, until she comes across her father in his study, happily balancing his ledgers, Cel’s lovely turquoise shawl wrapped warmly around his shoulders, his feet comfortably fitting into her old house-slippers.

Elladan and Elrohir don’t wear either of their parents clothes because they’re taller and broader than the both of them, and not really given to extravagance. However, whenever they’re home, they take turns sneaking into Elrond’s study to borrow random articles of clothing and keep them in their wardrobe for a few days before returning them just as silently. Arwen initially thought they were doing it just to piss said father off but then realised they were trying to give him a sense of normalcy 🥺

Them being the same height means their feet knock against each other in bed. This is not a problem as far as Elrond is concerned, because he is used to sleeping in the same bed as other people (having had a twin and spending 3000 years at war/sieges), and keeps his toenails militaristically short. Cel on the other hand, absolutely adores having long shapely toenails that she decorates with polish and little gems. Unfortunately, this is precisely what jams into Elrond’s ankles every night. Like lovebites from Gollum.

When I say they’re the exact same height I mean right down to the millimetre. Again, this does not really bother Elrond because again, he’s always been slighter than most male elves so hasn’t really even noticed. Cel, however, is extremely pleased about this, and in fact quite often does her hair in big, bouffant (think 1980s) updoes and backcombs, and in fact set off a century long trend of quiffs in the Eldar, simply because she enjoyed being taller than Elrond.

[heartforsunoo]

INTERVIEW

JAY: “I feel a sense of responsibility to work hard and not lose these people”

ENHYPEN ‘ROMANCE : UNTOLD -daydream-’ 컴백 인터뷰ENHYPEN ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream- comeback interview

2024.11.21

JAY loves Oasis, so I asked him what their song “Wonderwall” means to him. Everyone who hears the song has their own interpretation, but for JAY, the title of the song meant “support.” Read on to learn who he relies on for support more than anyone—and who he feels compelled to look after for the same reason.

You visited your hometown, Seattle, for the first time in eight years during your world tour earlier this year. How did it feel to go back as an artist?

JAY: It felt great. It felt like I was being welcomed back on home soil. There was even an article about it in The Seattle Times. (laughs)

You threw the first pitch at a Seattle Mariners home game with the group and received a surprise video message from player Jay Buhner.

JAY: My dad was thrilled. (laughs) He talked about how he absolutely loved baseball even when he was a kid. I was happy because it felt like it wasn’t just my dream coming true, but my dad’s dream, too. I visited the Mariners’ home ballpark when I was really little, so I can’t remember it too clearly, but I made lots of new memories this time. Getting to throw that first pitch for the team that represents my hometown felt like a reward for all the hard work I’ve done up to now.

Quite the triumphant return. (laughs) You also filmed a vlog for ENGENE while there. What were you hoping to show them?

JAY: People these days are really into vibes and aesthetic, and there’s something uniquely chill about the ambience in Seattle. There are tons of famous jazz houses and old theaters, so it gives off a chill, antique vibe, which I wanted to give ENGENE a chance to share in, even if indirectly. I tried to show as much as I could within the time constraints, but there’s still so much I couldn’t show off.

In a live episode of JAY-FASHION with SUNOO focused on fragrances, you mentioned one you’d like to wear if you ended up going to Seattle. Did you actually wear it in the end?

JAY: That was the plan, but I started using all sorts of different fragrances in the meantime. (laughs) I used a different one that I bought when I was in Europe. It’s a rose and leather scent. Since Seattle gets a lot of rain, there’s lots of roses growing there, and during the rainy season, it seriously rains nearly five days out of the week. Anyway, that’s why roses remind me of Seattle. I don’t usually like the artificial rose smell, but I love perfumes that put their own spin on the smell of roses. I prefer fragrances with a hint of earthiness and a certain weight of natural smells.

Most of the fragrances you’ve introduced from your collection have heavy scents. Is there any reason for that?

JAY: I feel like a fragrance should bring out the positive qualities of the person wearing it, so I buy mine hoping they’ll give me an image as someone who’s deep. I tend to have fairly heavy, serious conversations, but when I’m with the group, we’re so close that it usually doesn’t end up that way. (laughs)

But you do always seem serious about performing. You talked about how you picked up the electric guitar for fun in your interview last year, and it seems like you’ve been practicing really hard, seeing as you played it onstage a number of times.

JAY: I’m still just a beginner, honestly. Lots of people reach their goals step by step as they learn something new, and I’m the same way, making my way toward the goals I set out for myself as I learn and experience a lot through guitar. I watch my old guitar videos to better understand where I’ve improved and what I still need to work on. I’m not good enough at guitar to make it my main thing, so I think I need to improve technically and as far as stage presence goes.

What gives you the motivation to keep practicing guitar despite your busy schedule?

JAY: I see it as a clear-cut goal that I want to personally achieve. When I practice, I look at guitarists I love and respect and who inspired me to play, like Stevie Ray Vaughan, and even though I know I’ll never reach their level, I’m going to at least learn to imitate them. I just try and make sure there’s always at least one guitar in my line of sight wherever I go. It’s important to put in the effort to keep up with something continuously, but having a guitar always within arm’s reach is the key. Plus, playing is the best way for me to deal with my emotions. I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to vent emotionally. Before I started learning guitar, I tried working out, and one time I even tried just shouting. (laughs) Playing electric guitar feels similar to screaming “aaah!” at the top of my lungs, both in the sound it makes and how I make the sound, just it doesn’t hurt my throat.

You really seem to love rock music. Has rock shaped your values in any way?

JAY: I think rock is among the genres of music that have changed the world. I feel it’s shifted listeners’ attitudes to create a more liberated world—one where more people can freely express themselves with dignity. People still have to be careful not to hurt others’ feelings when expressing themselves, of course.

As a fan of guitar and bands, being part of GLAY’s 30th-anniversary concert must have been very significant for you.

JAY: It made me realize that my passion for what I’ve loved for so long has gotten through to someone and that I have to hold onto that passion in the future, too. Even though I don’t play in a band, the mere fact that I said I like rock made this great band want to nurture my passion and teach me. Seeing artists respect other people’s music has been an invaluable experience for me. It was clear to me there was something to be learned from GLAY that could only be learned from them, and I wanted to do that so I could improve more. Not only did my passion never wane, but it eventually got through to some else, too, and that made me confident enough not to be afraid of pursuing my passion further.

What influence has that experience had on your musical tastes and what you’ve been trying to do since?

JAY: I love guitar in and of itself, and I’m really interested in rock music and different bands, so I’m trying to work in as many different styles as I can. I have a ton of ideas, but there’s a limit to what I can do with my hands and with my voice, so I’m working on the countless ideas I get from listening to different kinds of music one by one at the speed I’m able to.

In “No Doubt,” the lead single off your repackaged album, you used the same great rough vocals you used in your GLAY collaboration “whodunit” and your cover of the L’Arc~en~Ciel song “HONEY.”

JAY: From the minute I heard the demo version, I knew I had to sing it with rough-sounding vocals like that. Not everyone thinks so, but I feel like my voice sounds better when it’s rougher instead of soft and resonant. That was something I looked into to make my vocals sound a little better, so it was fairly intentional. (laughs)

Both “XO (Only If You Say Yes)” and “No Doubt” are love songs, but your persona in each feels different.

JAY: I come across as a little younger than I really am on “XO (Only If You Say Yes),” while on “No Doubt,” I guess you could say it’s a love that’s a little mature for my real age—liking and yearning for someone, but also having a hard time, and having all these thoughts swimming around in your head. What it’s ultimately about is a love that never changes, even in the face of all those feelings and difficulties. The message of the repackaged album and the mood of the song show what a slightly more emotionally mature ENHYPEN looks like.

How did you seek to express ENHYPEN’s more mature take on love while recording your vocals?

JAY: “No Doubt” is a song filled with complex emotions, I think. Thinking about that other person can feel good but also be difficult, and your head’s swimming with thoughts of desperate longing, but you’re certain in your resolve. What I had in my head when I recorded was, “You’re the one for me.” I ultimately look at recording vocals and performing onstage as forms of acting. That’s why I always immerse myself in songs and performances by placing myself in the story.

In the fan dedication song “Highway 1009,” you wrote the lines, “Just trust me and tag along / Just look at me and come along.”

JAY: We’ve received so much from fans since we debuted by going through the show I-LAND. They give their hearts to us, like, “You’re so amazing. I’m gonna stan you!” So I feel like I need to continue living up to the faith ENGENE has shown in us since then. I feel a sense of responsibility to work hard and not lose these people. I hope one day we surpass expectations and change the order of things so that we prove ourselves first and only then does ENGENE show us love. They’ve followed us and said good things about us back from when we were nothing, so it’s our job to turn ourselves into something.

You mentioned in 2023 ENniversary MAGAZINE about wanting to take the hard path with ENGENE, not the easy path.

JAY: I don’t think there’s anything so easy to lose as hearts you had won over easily. If you get something effortlessly and just say, “I’m happy. The end!” then it becomes easy to lose in any number of ways, like through excessive pride, ignorance, or indifference. What I need to do now is be sure of why ENGENE loves me and keep moving forward, to make what’s happened to me truly mine.

That sounds like exactly what you meant on Weverse when you wrote, “It’s our job to give you that smile, so just believe in us. It’s ENGENE’s job to smile.”

JAY: What keeps the world turning is the countless people on this planet whose lives are all interconnected like pieces of a puzzle. It’s my belief that people fulfilling each other’s needs is what makes the world go round. ENHYPEN is one cog in the machine and I think, when it comes to people who rely on us, our role is to alleviate their negative feelings, like loneliness and anxiety, to whatever degree we’re able. Obviously, as we go through life, unexpected things come up, and no one knows what slip-ups might happen. There are also going to be times when the world, or other people, force us to face our worries and anxieties. And I think, whenever that happens, it’s our job to give ENGENE the courage to live a happy life, and to make them feel better even when misfortune finds them. Whether ENGENE loves us forever, a short time, or leaves and comes back, I just want to make sure they don’t regret the time they spent with us.

What do you do to make sure of that?

JAY: I try to live an upright life, even when no one can see me. If you’re going to really earn people’s trust, you have to have your own rules and clear standards for life and put them into practice, even when no one’s watching. That way, I think I can influence and convince others, too, when I need to sometime in the future. It’s nice that even more people give me love and I become even more famous by working hard, but I think it’s more important to be a good, upright person first. If I can do that, then ENGENE will naturally come to trust and follow me. That’s why I need to lead by example.

Do you think these values you hold are also why you always take such good care of the people around you?

JAY: Oh, I mean, I think taking good care of those around me is a given. My philosophy is, you have to be good to your people, since they’re your people, and if you can’t, then you shouldn’t make them your people at all. And I’ve always been someone who wants to help a lot of people and share what I have. (laughs) And I have to be upright and capable to do that. I work on my self-improvement specifically so I can look after others. My life motto is, “I want to make my people happier. I want to make the world a happier place.” Making the most out of life, working hard, being good to the people around me—these three things come together as a bundle for me.

What kind of happiness do you hope to bring to ENGENE through your efforts?

JAY: I have just one wish. I think our main responsibility is to make sure ENGENE doesn’t come to regret whatever effect we have on them. They might love us forever, or just a short while, or come and go then come back again. I hope everyone who’s been with us, even those who are only with us for a short while, is always happy and has a positive view of the world. That’s exactly what gives my work purpose and why I look on it with pride. (laughs)

[jiliansky-blog]

How to love a dream. Chapter 5. Cinema

Pairing: Morpheus x FemaleReader

Rating: PG

Words: 2000

Morpheus

“Is everything good?” asked Hob, when I returned to his home. “Are your plans for today still valid?”

“Yes, I suppose I have one more friend,” I said.

“That’s great!” Hob was really glad. “See, that is what I wished for you. To have more friends. But don’t attack her for her curiosity.”

“I just… It was irrational of me,” I sighed. “I apologize for my behavior earlier.”

“You should apologize to her, and you already did,” he smiled. “She really doesn’t mean any harm. Believe me.”

“Still I don’t want her to be another Burgess or Constantine,” I admitted.

“And the second one helped you, remember?” he asked. “Y\N doesn’t possess any magic as far as I know.”

“And how can you know for sure?” I asked. “She doesn’t know that you are immortal, because you hide it. It can be another way around.”

“Point taken,” Hob shrugged. “But do you agree with me that she is not a threat to you? She is just human, after all.”

“That is right,” I agree.

You woke up with a strange feeling the next morning. You’re going to the cinema with Morpheus. It's almost like a date, but it’s not. You’re friends. Friends can go to the cinema together. Nothing romantic won’t happen.

You had a quick breakfast, then lunch. After the breakfast, your friend called you to ask about the movie. You were annoyed by her question.

“I didn’t go yesterday,” you admitted.

“O, I’m so sorry you couldn’t go,” she said. A little bit of guilt was there in her voice.

“But I’m going today,” you replied.

“Alone?” she asked.

“No, with Morpheus,” you said.

“Are you two…dating?” she asked. “And you didn’t tell me anything.”

“We aren’t dating,” you said. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah, I see,” she replied.

“You know what?” you asked. “I don’t need time for that. I’ve got to go. Bye.”

Definitely, romantic literature that you’ve read played jokes on you. Because you couldn’t forget how attractive and charming this man was. Also, a little bit asshole. But then he changed to his polite self again. God, it was confusing.

He came even earlier than you arranged. But anyway, you were glad to see him. You choose a blue dress. And he seemed to like it.

“I didn't see people wearing dresses to the cinema like to the theater,” he smirked.

“I like wearing dresses,” you replied. “You are early.”

“I decide that it’s better to come earlier than late,” he said.

He looks like usual, and you let him in. He also wasn’t annoyed, which was already a good thing. You smiled at him.

“Do you know what the film is about?” you asked.

“No,” he said.

“It’s about vengeance,” you said.

“Oh?” Morpheus said.

“Yes, and about the power of love,” you smiled. “Are you ready?”

“I’m intrigued,” he nodded.

“Then let’s go,” you said.

And you left your house and went to their theater. You saw that a lot of people were looking at you two. Or were they looking at Morpheus?

“When did you visit the cinema the last time?” you asked.

“I don’t remember,” he replied. “Anyway, I preferred theater.”

“Oh, I didn’t remember when I was there for the last time,” you admitted. “It feels…uneasy to go there alone.”

“Then I will go with you,” he said suddenly.

 “What?” you asked surprisingly.

“I think you should visit the theater with me,” Morpheus replied seriously.

That man is full of mystery. At first, he was against you coming to the dinner. Then he went with you to the cinema. And now this.

“You are something else,” you admitted.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You aren’t like the rest of the people I know,” you said. “And definitely not like other men. It’s a good thing.”

“Good, I think?” He looked so confused.

“Yes,” you smiled.

“Yes, definitely good,” you admitted.

When you came to the cinema, he put out money from his pocket. And then he caught you watching him.

“Hob financed me,” Morpheus said. “And I am going to buy both tickets.”

“You shouldn’t,” you said.

“I know,” he said. “And I insist.”

“Is it your way to apologize?” you smiled.

He frowned and avoided your gaze.

“Perhaps,” he just replied.

“You are sweet,” you smiled.

“I’m just polite,” he refused.

When you were already sitting in front of the screen, it still felt like a date for you. Morpheus on the other side was calm.

“You are sitting so straight right now,” you admitted. “You can relax already. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Are you saying that I’m being nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah, you looked so,” you smiled.

He didn’t have time to answer. The movie began. You were excited to see one of your favorite movies on the big screen with a good image. Morpheus looked interested too. And you were glad he came with you.

At the end of the movie, you were almost sure that you saw tears in his eyes. And his lips were trembling vulnerably. You wanted to ask if he was okay but decided to do better than wound his pride.

“Did you like it?” you asked instead.

“Yes, I feel some…familiarity,” he said. “It was about love that was worth vengeance. And the power of truth.”

“And justice,” you smiled.

“Yes, that’s right,” he nodded.

“What now?” you asked. “Are you going back to the professor?”

He looked at you like a very offended cat. You were confused. What now?

“I thought we could have a coffee,” he said finally.

“I won’t say no to that,” you smiled.

You took him to the café nearby. And you felt almost proud for being with this handsome man. Everyone thinks that you are a couple, perhaps. You were afraid to ruin this.

“Did you like the cinema?” you asked.

“Yes,” he nodded. “Especially that there weren’t many people.”

“You don’t like crowds,” you admitted.

“Not really,” he nodded again. “Don’t worry about that.”

“But we’re in a crowded place now,” you said.

It was true. There were a lot of people at that time of the day. And it was a weekend. You were considering going to another place.

“We can go elsewhere,” you said.

“No, it’s alright,” he said and chose the table.

“You are so a gentleman,” you said.

“It’s simple politeness,” he shrugged. “Do men in your…town so rude?”

“Not rude, but chivalry long gone,” you replied.

“Then good that you’ve met me,” he smirked.

“Definitely,” you said.

You ordered coffee, but Morpheus insisted on paying for you again. You didn’t know how to react to that.

“That is why I said that you’re different,” you smiled.

“I see now,” he said seriously.

“What else brought you here?” you asked.

“Cinema?” he asked.

“I mean to this town,” you replied. “I know, you came to visit your friend. But is there something else?”

“Perhaps I wanted to find myself in something else than my work,” he said after a few minutes of thinking. “My sister said that I need to find a hobby.”

“You don’t have a hobby?” you asked, surprised.

“I like reading and sometimes feeding the birds,” you said.

“That’s I got,” you smiled.

“Sometimes I like watching other people,” he said. “To know his dreams and hopes. Or walking my place of work.”

“Is it good to watch every time?” you asked.

“Yes, definitely,” he smiled genuinely. “You would like it.”

“Then I hope I see it some other time,” you smiled.

“” Perhaps, one day,” he smirked. “Or one night.”

“Night?” you asked. “Are you working during nights?”

“Mostly,” he avoided your gaze again.

“Tell me about the place,” you smiled and didn’t push this topic. Morpheus doesn’t want to talk about it, for sure.

“It’s beautiful,” he said with a soft smile. “It is like a place of your dreams. There are a lot of nature and wonderful buildings.”

“Sounds interesting,” you noticed.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I hope…to show you one day.”

“It would be great,” you smiled.

You felt warm sitting next to him. It wasn’t like yesterday dinner. He wasn’t hostile and annoyed. He was calm and actually sweet.

“Thank you for this day,” you smiled.

“It hasn’t ended yet,” he smirked.

“But I thought that you wanted to return to Hob after the cinema,” you mentioned.

“I can return later,” Morpheus said. “We still have time. And I am going to visit the theater so I can find out what they can offer.”

“Alright,” you replied.

“Will you go with me?” he asked.

“Of course,” you smiled.

“Then let’s go,” he said.

You showed him the way to the theater; even so, he told you that he remembers it. But you felt inspired by him.

“What can you say about “The Nutcracker” ballet?” he asked inside.

“I like the idea,” you smiled.

“Very well,” he smirked. “Because I have already bought tickets. For tomorrow evening.”

“You’re impossible,” you said.

“I am going to fulfill my promise,” he said seriously. “And I want to make for yesterday. I… I am not usually like this.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Perhaps you will be mad at me in the future,” Morpheus replied. “Everyone is holding a grudge and leaving. They say that I cruel, and I’m too much.”

“Everyone has their own flaws,” you said. “I can assure you, no one is perfect. And your flaws don’t define you.”

“I used to think otherwise,” he said, looking away.

“Don’t listen to those people,” you smiled. “Everyone can change. And everyone makes mistakes. Don’t worry.”

“You are wise, just like Hob,” he admitted.

“That’s my therapist,” you smiled.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” the man replied.

“So are you,” you said. “What now?”

“I can walk you home,” he said. “And more than that, I insist on walking you home.”

“Alright,” you nodded. “I won’t say no to that.”

It was something…magical about the way you two talk. You felt like you knew him for a long time. And you didn’t feel angry anymore.

“Thank you for your company,” you smiled when you arrived at your home.

“You too,” he replied. “Then I meet you tomorrow after your lessons. I don’t want you to distract from your studies anymore.”

“So gentlemanly of you,” you smiled. “You can visit me at the university.”

“I will keep it in the mind,” he smiled back. “Until then.”

He nodded and went away. What a mysterious man! And charming. And handsome. Oh god, I am so doomed.

Morpheus

“How was the evening?” asked Hob during the dinner.

“It was good,” I replied. “Sufficient. Tomorrow we are going to the theater.”

“Oh?” he asked. “You are quickly to court her.”

“It is not. Courting,” I refused.

“And your blushing says otherwise,” the man grinned. “You don’t need to worry about. I would be glad for both of you.”

“I just…” I said, strike with a thought. “I didn’t think about her in that way. And it wouldn't be a good idea.”

“Why not?” Hob asked.

“Because it is forbidden for the Endless and mortals to be together,” I said. “It will lead to destruction.”

“Oh maybe not,” he said suddenly.

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “The last time when I got involved with a mortal, her kingdom was lost, and she killed herself.”

Memories of Nada were always painful for me.

“And when was that?” he asked.

“Ten thousand years ago,” I replied.

“Ten thousand, yeah?” he smirked. “A lot of time passed since then, don’t you think? I want to say that everything could change.”

“I didn’t hear about that,” I said.

“Why, then, your family wants you to find someone here?” Hob asked. “They may know more than you are.”

It didn’t occur to me before. Hob might be right. What if something changed? But what if nothing changed? Then I will ruin everything again.

“Look, I don’t say that you shouldn’t be careful,” he said, looking at me. “Just don’t give up hope if you like her.”

“I will be careful,” I said.

“But do you like her?” he asked.

“You already asked that,” I sighed. “I know her less than a week.”

“And you’re courting her,” he admitted.

“I am not,” I refused.

“When was the last time you asked someone out?” Hob asked.

He was right. But I didn’t want to agree so easily.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“It does,” he said. “Anyway, I wish for you two good luck tomorrow.”

But I could only think about what my sister may know.

@shadowqueen1322 @mypsychoticlove @justathirstyhoe​ @ladymoztaza @sapphireonline @deniixlovezelda

[dreaming-of-the-reality]

Season 2 Theory Below

I’ve been seeing a few people talking about this following the recent release of the Season 2 Official House of the Dragon Trailer… and I want to chime in with my observations…

Viserys wearing a ring on his right index finger

So we see here, Viserys has a gold ring on his finger. Clearly this is on his right hand, and the ring seems to be fitted on his index finger

From what I remember and what I’ve searched, I don’t see him wearing any other rings throughout the show apart from the other one on his left hand pinky(?) finger.

Daemon wearing a ring on his right ring finger

Now as we look here… Daemon proudly wears a silver round chunky ring on his right hand ring finger. It looks like it has a sort of blue middle and is clearly shown off in the season 2 poster…

Like very obvious piece of jewellery right?

Kind of looks something like this…

Clearly this is Daemons hand and ring moving along a woman’s neck. There is no doubt that this is Daemons hand (yes I compared photos of Matt Smiths hand to this image) An intimate moment which I’m sure we can all tell from the expression on this woman’s face. Who is this woman?

Obviously my first thought was “oh Rhaenyra” but for some reason it just doesn’t look like her? I don’t know what it is and it’s literally half of a face but it just doesn’t look like Rhaenyra?

So the other theory could be: Aemma

I’ve been seeing rumours (which seem to have been confirmed) that the actress who plays Aemma in season 1 will be making a return this season in a flashback.

People have speculated that this flashback will be Rhaenyra and Aemma, Rhaenyra getting closure from her mother’s death, etc.

But what if we find out through a flashback that Aemma and Daemon actually had something going on?

I know this is a stretch. A huge one. But it would be really interesting to see. I really can’t tell if this is Rhaenyra or not as the quality isn’t great and it’s only half a face, but it’s fun to speculate lol.

Most people think this is Viserys’ hand but it’s clearly not. We know it’s Daemons. Also what would be the point in having a flashback scene to Viserys and Aemma having sex? Would add no value to the plot whatsoever.

I also don’t think they are going to bring Aemma back for Rhaenyra to have a therapy session otherwise they should’ve done it in season one when Rhaenyra was missing her, or when Rhaenyra had her first child, or when she had a miscarriage as they are all things that could have tied the flashback together. It would be really random to have a flashback of Aemma now unless she was going to add some drama to the plot that maybe the books never revealed.

So on one side, this could be a secret affair Aemma and Daemon had in the past and it could be a flashback to that moment… or it could just be Rhaenyra and Daemon during another sex scene 😭

We could take this even further…

We could speculate that what if… WHAT IF… Rhaenyra, is actually Daemons… Daugh- I don’t want to even say it. But wouldn’t this be interesting twist of dramatic irony?

If Rhaenyra was actually the product of Aemma and Daemon… making her a bastard… it would mean Aegon is actually the true born heir… it could explain why Daemon was always so protective over Rhaenyra on the basis of being his “niece” but yet never showed the same affection towards Aegon, Aemond or Helaena.

All in all, I can’t wait for season 2

[sassycheesecake]

Shūgo Meian x short!Reader "Happy Birthday"

Warnings: language, suggestive content, Atsumu accidentally gets hurt

Meian and you have only been dating officially for about three months now and his teammates don't know yet that their Captain is in a serious relationship.

So when it was Meian's birthday, his teammates agreed on surprising him at his own home as soon as the clock struck midnight.

Sakusa was forced into the participation, saying that it was a 'team-building-exercise' and it's their first time celebrating as a team, so EVERYONE needed to come.

Meian had this weekend off of training, wanting to spend it with you.

After his training was over on Friday evening, he picked you up from work and you guys drove straight to his apartment.

You made dinner together, watched 'The Haunting of Hill House' together, which ended up with you clinging onto your boyfriend like your life depended on it and watched some Spongebob episodes, so you don't get any nightmares from the scary show.

Around 22:38 you and the Middle Blocker decided to call it a night, dragging yourselves to bed with tired limbs.

The ravenette takes off his shirt, so he only remains in his MSBY workout shorts, showing off his strong thighs and his god-like shaped upper body.

You're wearing a simple dark blue shirt, along with matching shorts of the same colour for the night.

Since due to his AC, you get cold very fast.

Meian turns towards you and plants a couple of soft good night kisses on your lips, caressing your side gently while he does it. He wishes you sweet dreams, making you giggle which returns with a big grin.

"Can't wait to show you tomorrow morning what I have planned for you." You purr as one of your hands trace over his firm pecs, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin.

"Me neither. Love you, hot stuff, sweet dreams." Giving you one last kiss on your lips and forehead, you turn to your side to sleep.

Now with you laying on your side, the giant ravenette hugs your petite form from behind, heaving out a deep, blissful sigh, sleep overcoming him in seconds.

Later on, outside of Meian's apartment, some of the MSBY Black Jackals gather on the sidewalk, right in front of their Captain's apartment.

"It's freezing outside, where's the rest?!" Inunaki hisses, while shivering from the cold.

Checking his phone, Tomas sees that the time reads 23:48, and he sees a text from Bokuto, saying that he, Atsumu and Hinata had forgot to pick up the cake from the store on their way to Meian's apartment, so they had to turn around and get it but assuring that they will make it on time.

Sakusa and Barnes are also already here, freezing their asses off from the cold night as well.

"Bokuto sent me a message, saying that they should be here any second now. They forgot to pick up the cake and Hinata remembered it last minute, so they had to turn around and get it." Tomas explains with a deadpan expression on his face, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

"Of course they forgot." Sakusa mumbles annoyed under his black medical mask.

"Well, they said they should be here any second and I hope they are right. I am starting to feel like a stalker for standing in front of our Captain's apartment with you guys." Barnes laughs.

"But aren't stalkers usually on their own?" Inunaki asks with his head tilted.

"No, I think they can be multiple people stalking one person. I mean, the paparazzi do it all the time." Tomas shrugs his shoulders.

"Well according to Google, it can be more than one person." Barnes reads from his phone, the time now being 23:53.

"Let's please stop talking about this, I am going to leave if those idiots don't show up in the next two minutes." Sakusa growls, as he is exhausted from practice today and just wants to rest in his bed like a normal person.

Speaking of the devils, they see Bokuto's grey Audi Q5 racing down the street with incredible speed, scaring the four players that he won't brake on time.

As soon as the car is close enough, the tires screech as they break and the three rascals get out of the car, a pale Hinata holding the cake with shaking hands and a nauseous looking Atsumu having a bag full of streamers, party poppers, party blowers and confetti.

Bokuto looks extremely proud of himself for making it on record time like a professional street racer, minus the professional, since he drove like a mad man, making Hinata and Atsumu feel like they lost 20 years of their life during the ride.

"We made it!" Bokuto yells out in excitement, stretching his arms out with a massive grin.

"Shh!! People are sleeping!" Inunaki scolds the Wing Spiker.

"It was about time." Sakusa rolls his shoulders, cracking his neck side to side.

"Awww, did ya miss us Omi-Omi?" Atsumu teases the curly-haired Outside Hitter.

"Shut up, Miya." Sakusa scowls deeply behind his mask.

Barnes claps his hands together once, to gather the attention of his teammates.

"Alrighty, it's almost midnight. We have to get in now. Bokuto, do you have the key for Meian's apartment?"

The golden-eyed man proudly shows the replica of Meian's key, something Bokuto did while Meian was in the shower after practice a week ago.

The Jackals try to make their way in their Captain's apartment as quiet as possible, using their phone flashlights to see where they are going.

"Wow, I have to admit, his place is really nice." Tomas whistles softly, taking a small look around his place.

"This may sound like a dumb question, but has anyone ever been here before? Does anyone know where his bedroom is?" Inunaki asks the group.

Silence.

"Okay, I guess we'll just have to look around then. I mean, his apartment is not that big, so we should be able to find it easily."

Inunaki adds.

All of sudden, Barnes stumbles over something in the dark, making a small noise by the action and also cursing when he almost fell.

Luckily, you easily wake up when you hear noises and you think you heard something.

Nudging your lover, you try to wake him up with a shaky voice.

"Shū? Shūgo, wake up!" You whisper at the giant.

"Hmmm… what babe? 'm sleepin…" The ravenette mumbles sleepily into his pillow.

"I think someone is in the apartment. I heard a noise." You explain, reaching under his bed on your side where you store a baseball bat.

"Baby, it's probably nothing. Go back to sleep." Shūgo adjusts himself, pulling the blanket further up, so it almost covers his entire face.

You feel a vein almost popping at his answer, yet you keep the bat right beside you, just in case.

Unfortunately you feel too uneasy to go back to sleep and you don't even bother getting up and checking out the noise, because that's how most people die first in horror movies.

So you just lay there, a death grip on your bat, eyes wide open, heart beating fast.

But now you're not imagining it, you can hear footsteps and now you're actually shaking in fear.

You hide under the blankets and scooch closer to your boyfriend, hoping, if there is an intruder here, gets Meian first or at least see his height and runs off.

The next thing you know, you hear more than one pair of heavy footsteps and you can already see your life flashing before your eyes.

What happens next though, is highly unusual for intruders to do.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAPTAIN!!!" They all screamed in sync.

"АННННННННННННН!!!!" You scream in terror, swinging the bat at the first person, which unfortunately is Atsumu's shoulder.

Meian finally wakes up as well, to say he was shocked that all his teammates were standing in his bedroom in the middle of the night, was an understatement.

"OW! Ya bitch!" The Setter yells out in excruciating pain.

"What the fuck?! What the hell are all of you doing here?!" Meian yells at his teammates in fury.

Atsumu stills holds his shoulder, groaning loudly in pain, almost looking like he is in tears.

Sakusa is snickering behind his mask, clearly enjoying that Atsumu got hurt.

The rest of MSBY are standing in shock, staring at you like you're a foreign object that they have never seen before.

"You…. You have a partner? Since when?" Bokuto finds his words first.

"You don't get to ask questions. How did you even get in here? I don't remember giving any of you my key to my apartment." Meian asks as he looks into the round.

Silence.

"We uh sort of remade your key, so we can wish you happy birthday like the good teammates we are.'' Barnes chuckles nervously.

"I don't think teammates break into each other's apartment just to wish them a happy birthday." Sakusa blankly states, not helping with the situation.

"Everybody out. Now!" Meian yells and the rest of the giants move quickly out of the bedroom.

Once they are all out, the Middle Blocker gets out of bed, rubbing his hands across his face and groans loudly.

"I don't get paid enough for this." His hands fall down and rest at his hips as he stares at you with a frustrated expression.

"I mean it's kind of cute that they did this for you Shūgo. Sure, maybe they approached this in the wrong way but they meant no harm." You get out of bed as well, putting on one of your boyfriend's hoodies as you walk over to him.

Wrapping your arms around him, you rest your chin on his biceps, staring lovingly up at him.

In return, he wraps his arm around your shoulder, seemingly more relaxed now.

"So… you going to introduce me to your pack of lovely idiots?"

Shaking his head with a grin, his arm continues to stay on your shoulder and he leads you outside the bedroom to the living room, where his teammates are in the living room, some sitting on the couch, others like Sakusa leaning against the wall, others leaning against the same couch that the others are sitting on.

"Sure, make yourselves at home, won't you?" Meian sarcastically says.

"We're really sorry Captain, we only wanted to surprise you, we didn't mean to frighten you… or your partner." Hinata apologises on behalf of the team.

"Why don' I get a 'sorry' for yer partner swingin' their bat at me!? I feel like they almost dislocated mah shoulder. An' this is mah servin' arm!"

Atsumu cries.

"I am really sorry for hitting you Atsumu, I just got scared and I thought you were intruders… " You mutter in regret while rubbing your hand against your arm in embarrassment.

"Well ya got a strong swing, I'll give ya that." Atsumu waves you off with a painful smile.

All heads turn to you and you feel incredibly smaller already, their heights intimidate you extremely and Shūgo immediately notices it and steps in front of you protectively with a frown.

"Don't stare at them like that." 

"Well, how can we not? You never told us you were in a relationship." Bokuto pouts, as tries to look around Shūgo to get a better look at you, to which the Middle Blocker immediately hides you more.

"Shūgo, it's okay. I just did not exactly expect to meet your teammates in my sleepwear in the middle of the night, while almost breaking one of their arms." You chuckle nervously.

"(Y/N), how tall are you if you don't mind me asking." Hinata steps forward besides Bokuto and flinches back at the glare his Captain is giving him.

You smile assuringly at the orange-haired Wing Spiker and the whole team stares dreamily at your figure, seeing why Shūgo chose to date you.

"It's okay… Hinata, right? I am 5'1." You smile with a blush.

"But Mean is what? 6'5? Doesn't that bother you that he is super tall compared to you?" Inunaki raises a brow at you.

The ravenette sends the Libero his next death glare, to which the light-haired man flinches under.

"Well it's not his height that I fell in love with, it's his passion for volleyball and the way he always talks about you guys all the time.

The height is just a nice perk for reaching things I can't reach." You grin up at your lover, to which he pinches your side playfully.

"So how does tha sex work-" Atsumu is intrigued and Meian interrupts him before he reveals any of his sex life in front of his teammates.

"Alright, you met my partner, now get the hell out of my apartment."

Meian claps his hands and kicks his teammates out.

He shooes them out, the boys yelling farewells at you, before Meian forcefully kicks them out.

Finally closing the door, Shūgo leans against it, closing his eyes while breathing out a big sigh in relief.

You're leaning against the frame of the living room, clearly not tired anymore.

"I don't think I will be able to go back to bed anytime soon. If only there was something or someone who could tire me out." You hinted with a dramatic sigh.

When Meian opens his eyes to look at you, you see a dangerous glint in his eyes, a glint you know all too well.

"Get your sweet ass to bed then, I may have some ideas how to get you all tired out."

[theglamorousferal]

Samantha al Ghul

Rain raced down her window as she looked out to the gloomy surroundings. Sam had never felt more at home than in Gotham she's realizing. The architecture and general vibe of the city resonated with her on a level she had only felt when in the Infinite Realms.

Sam's parents stuck out like a sore thumb, all bright and hopeful. They looked like you took two characters from a children's show and dropped them into a grimdark HBO classic. Sam loves them, she really does, but just one look at them would have muggers salivating.

She's been somewhat looking forward to this particular gala, if only because she managed to convince her parents to let her wear a dress that's mostly black with details of roses and thorny vines twisted around the bottom of the skirt. She would be blending in for once, something she had mixed feelings about. At least there would be some other kids her age there, at least according to her parents. Hopefully they weren't the usual stuck up people like Paulina, Sam was sick of her being the only one to talk to at functions in Amity.

They pulled up to a large gothic manor and the driver came to the door with umbrellas for the family, helping them out of the car. Sam's first thought when looking at the house was envy, she would love to live in a place like this. Her second thought was of getting out of the rain so that it wouldn't ruin her favorite combat heels. At the door, they were greeted by a butler who took their coats and introduced himself as "Alfred Pennyworth, head butler of the Wayne family." Which gave Sam momentary pause, the dredges of a memory popping up.

Why is that familiar? What does Wayne mean in accordance with Gotham?

As she walked in to the gala, she got her answer.

Standing next to a tall man with a streak of white through the front of his hair was someone she hadn't seen in years. Someone she thought had died that day ten years prior. Someone she always felt guilty for.

She was moving before she even realized, skidding to a stop before him.

"Ahki" She mutter low so only he could hear. The boy froze and then slowly turned to look at her.

"Ukht" He said back and suddenly they were both hugging, clinging to each other like they had when they were so much smaller. Tears rarely spent were shed. "How are you here? How are you alive?"

"I survived the fall. I don't know how, but I survived the fall but then I had amnesia and didn't remember anything. I was taken in by this couple who had wanted a daughter. By the time I remembered anything, it was too late for me to return to the League. How'd you get out? I thought you died that day!"

The tall man put his hands on each of their shoulders. "Maybe you should take this to a private setting? We don't want anything leaking to the press."

Damian seemed to think it over for a moment before looking at the crowd who were all staring at the two teens. They let go of each other and made their way to a balcony. "I managed to kill the interloper that held me, but when I looked over the cliff's edge, you were nowhere to be seen. I had assumed you had been swept beneath the current. I searched along the riverbanks to no avail." He glanced over her face, seeming to drink in the sight he had missed for so long. "How are you here?"

"I came with my adoptive parents. They're the ones who stick out like a sore thumb. I've been living with them in Amity Park, Illinois since I was found. They're good people, but they have their eccentricities. They want me to wear bright colors all the time." Sam's nose scrunched up in distaste. Damian chuckled.

"That hasn't changed I see."

"What about you? How'd you get out?"

"There was a coup, one of Grandfather's apprentices, Deathstroke, attacked him. In the chaos Mother managed to get us out and she brought me to Father. I've been living with him for five years now."

"Oh, so Father is here?" Sam thought for a moment then whispered. "I know Father is the Bat, but what is his real name? I know mother told us once, but my memory is still kinda foggy."

"It's his gala you're attending, Father is Bruce Wayne."

"That airheaded himbo?" Sam snorted, then thought a bit. "Wow he's a much better actor than I expected then."

"We should probably go make an appearance again, the vultures are probably talking about our outburst."

[bizlybebo]

VIXENNNNNN!!! Before I return to the dishwasher I have a question. What are your PD boys + Ashe headcanons. Appearances? Idiosyncrasies? Anything? Please 🙏

HEHEHEHEHEHE HIIIII IT’S 3:30 AM HERE (4AM BY THE TIME IVE TYPED THIS ALL OUT) BUT AAAAA I CANT NOT ANSWER THISS !!!!

okok here’s some off the top of my head:

-Dakota’s got a lisp + a bit of a hard time speaking overall. However, it also means he places a lot of importance on what people have to say since those willing to listen to him even if he takes a second are ones he wants to hear from the most, if that makes sense

-Ashe is naturally blonde. She’s got the exact same hair color as Mark, but she bleaches it. She also has green eyes like her dad, but she inherited her mother’s complexion and facial features (also her mom was hispanic. trust i’m bizlybebo).

-Vyncent’s not a huge fan of haircuts on Prime (loud environment + the icky thing where all the hairs get caught on your shirt), so for most of season 1, Tide took care of his hair. Without Tide to really take care of it during season 2, it grew out significantly. William and Dakota take turns trying to braid it now.

-Since Fauna’s pretty cloudy (as far as I remember), Vyncent’s not used to a lot of direct sunlight. He goes to the beach once on Prime and gets sooo sunburnt cause he Doesn’t Get the concept of sunscreen entirely.

-Dakota’s the shortest. This one’s literally canon but I personally like to think that PD in order from tallest to shortest is: Vyncent, Ashe, William, then Dakota. Will’s still like a good head or so taller than Dakota

-Vyncent is scared of multiple household appliances. He has beef with ceiling fans and toasters especially.

-William gets the tetris effect but for like solving mysteries. Whenever he’s really sleepy he starts rattling off random criteria or a synopsis of his general surroundings/anything he notices under his breath.

-Ashe, oddly enough, is the member of PD who goes the most all out for Christmas/holiday season. She loves decorating and making cookies and everything, since it’s her first opportunity to do it with friends and family again in a long time.

-It feels like everyone on here is saying this which makes me so happy cause it’s so real but: Southern William. ouugigohiifih it’s so real to me.

and then some rapid fire ones:

-William has ehlers-danlos. trust

-Dakota Cole freckles. you agree

-Scenemo Ashe and emo William. You agree

-Dakota is terrified of spiders (scooby doo jumps into Ashe’s arms), Ashe is the kind of person to take the spider outside, William just kinda freezes and decides it’s the spiders house now, and Vyncent probably fucking eats spiders

-William does specific makeup to make himself look more alive/masculine (tboy William real. trust)

-William and Ashe are both the kind of person to have one (1) hoodie they constantly wear and basically nothing else.

-Ashe makes kandi and made PD matching bracelets during s1 (smiles. don’t think about Dakota accidentally breaking it during s2 and how bad he’d feel)

-Vyncent collects jewelry (elf brain likes shiny shit or something) but doesn’t wear it often. He just. Keeps it on him and pulls it out to look at it sometimes all proud of it

-Dakota “accidentally” leaves his flannels in Ashe’s dorm all the time when he visits her so he has an excuse to come back. Ashe gives him one back and suddenly two more appear

-Williams actually very beautiful/handsome he literally just gets no bitches because he’s Like That.

[pinkcherryblossomphonecase]

A unwanted reminder

(TW: Unhealthy relationships, SA, not getting over abuse. Please do skip this one if you feel uncomfortable.)

(The people I tag so thay can hate me more for making Cooper suffer once again: @tatsuhikoshibusawa @oscarsgallery @lets-play-a-game @soonyouwillgo )

A hotel room. I should be able to stay in here for a while, while Master and Sigma spend time together for a few days. They wanted me out of the house, which I don't mind. But where I'm staying for the time I do mind. Something about this hotel room sends me chills.

I can't remember the exact last time I was in one. Expect for who I was with. Him.

Of course it was him I was with.

It always was.

It became a routine, one that has been perfected. Master- X would always take me to his important business trips and meetings. I was just a little doll for show after all, a butler to do minor work for him during these trips. Not that I minded, it was same old boring work that I would do in the manor. Except in a hotel room....

Snap out of it, Cooper. He's dead now. You finally killed him and became free from his control and bond. X is forever gone, so stop thinking about him.

Just stop thinking about him..... yet the memories are still there to haunt me. Plaguing my mind as I stepped into the hotel room.

I take a shaky breath as I step in and took off my shoes. Being here alone feels so odd. It doesn't feel right, like I need someone with me. Why? Is it because I'm alone for once? On my own with no one to keep my company?

Perhaps it's the memories again that remind me of the unfortunate times I had in any hotel room that I can remember. Ones I cannot forget no matter how hard I try to. Being there will always be something there to remind me.

I look around the room, taking it all in. It's a fancy little hotel room, having all your standard stuff you would expect and one bed for me to rest on. The lightning is warm and inviting, but that welcoming feeling is killed when I turned towards the bathroom.

The dark room gave off a eery mist and even when I turned on the light, it barely gave the room any comfort. That's when I wish left the lights off when my eyes fall upon a hanging white robe for me to us.

My breathing hitched once I saw it, and my hand gripped the door handle. Those unwanted memories started to return when I wanted to start crying. No, why must they return now? Those are a thing of a past. I don't have to remember. I don't have to.

But I can still hear his voice. I can still picture the day we came back exhausted and tired from work. His soft voice mumbled to me, "Cooper let's take a bath together." And so we did that day. The warm water soothing us both. My head resting against his chest. Us washing each other. Him just touching me in all the wrong places.....

Even to this day, I can't take a bath on my own without forgetting about how it all felt to be touched like that by him. I can't wear white robes anymore because a feeling of dread stirs up in my gut every time I see one. Every time I did wear one was for X.... and even those memories still play on repeat when I'm alone for too long.

The white robe before me I wish to rip it and burn it away from my sight. Too many times I had to wear one for him. Too many times I felt good in bed with him. Too many times I sung out his name. I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT!

I hate this. I don't like this. I want to get rid of these memories, even if it means if I have to bash my head against the wall. I don't want to be reminded anymore. I want to finally move on and live without the remainder of how disgusting I was. How I felt disgusted every time.

Yet that robe taunts me. The whiteness of it reminding me that I will never be pure again. It's mocking me, shaming me for something that I did not want. For something that wasn't in my choice or control.

It taunts me that I'll be stuck back in the same old lifestyle one day. Maybe that's why I hate it the most. It's like if I put it on I'll be back to my old roots.....

It feels unfair though.... by now I'm supposed to be free. He's gone now, he won't ever bother me again. I'm free from him physically, yet never free from him in my memories....

As long as I see a white robe, I'll always still be chained to those memories....