#Peggy is at her lowest

[honorhearted]

what sort of things does your muse look for in a partner?

what sort of things does your muse AVOID in a partner?

what is the lowest and highest age person you’ll ship with your muse?

how easily does your muse fall in love?

1) Ben tends to be drawn to those who are intelligent and can engage him in thought-provoking conversation. He also feels spirituality is very important, and wants a partner he can consider an equal. On a less serious note, I like to jokingly say he has a thing for "hot blonde widows" (i.e. Sarah L.ivingston and P.eggy S.hippen -- yes, I count Peggy, because she and A.ndre exchanged Q.uaker vows before she ever married Arnold). If people don't believe me about Ben/Peggy, I always happily direct them to the intense eye-balling in this gifset (as well as him recognizing Peggy by just her EYES in A.ndre's drawing): (x).

2) Arrogance, a focus on materialism, laziness, and scorn towards his personal beliefs are all immediate t.urn-offs. As seen with people like Sarah, he can still grow to care for someone if their p.olitical beliefs don't line up with his own, but the other three aren't so negotiable. It's unlikely he'd ever hang around someone like this regardless -- he's very particular about those he spends time with, seeing how he considers time/life in general a precious gift that should be spent wisely.

3) I think the youngest muse I've shipped Ben with was 20 or 21? So long as they're of age, I tend to be all right with it. On the other end of the spectrum, I support c.ougars, so I don't really care lol. Though if you want to get technical, I guess there are no real limits here since I have a ship where Ben's love interest is immortal...and that's a pretty big age gap. :' ) I typically write Ben around 24, though I've had him as young as 22, and as old as 33, depending on the timeline.

4) If you've seen Turn, you know he falls in love instantly LoL. Ben is very old-fashioned, so he believes that s.ex = love --> on the path to marriage. For Sarah, he was ready to give up everything, including the Cause he'd s.acrificed so much for. If someone ticks off all the right boxes, he's pretty much going to be smitten immediately. He's a very "all or nothing" kind of guy, so expect some big simpage/sappy devotion.

[mosylufanfic]

You Gotta Get Going (if you're gonna make a showing)

Because Bix was in such a bad state in the last story, I wanted to write something where she'd started to put herself back together a little. 

Title from the Peggy Lee song, "It's a Good Day," which is an old-timey bop. Although I always substitute "don't forget your pills" when I sing along. 

You Gotta Get Going (if you're gonna make a showing)

Bix checked the back door. Locked. Of course it was. Brasso always checked all the doors before he left in the morning, because when he left she was generally still asleep, and their rented house wasn't in the best part of Gangi port. 

And this wasn't Ferrix, where people looked after each other. Or stuck their nose in. Often both. If someone tried to break into this house, their neighbors would all look away. 

So. Doors all locked, windows all sealed, before Brasso left. 

It made her feel more in control to check them, though, even knowing Brasso would have. It was responsible. Forward-thinking. The kind of thing a person who wasn't a human wreck would do, checking the doors before she left. 

"Bee," she said, pulling down her coat. "I'm going out."

"Wh-where?"

She really had to find some resources on a MO model's voice box, she thought for the fifth or sixth time just that week. Everything she'd ever read over the years said it was due to glitches in the programming, but there had to be something mechanical she could tweak. 

"Just out. Just an errand."

"H-how long will y-you be?"

She stopped in the middle of pulling on her gloves and went to crouch in front of him. 

"Beebee," she said gently. "I'm okay. Today's a good day. I didn't dream last night. I promise I'm not going out looking for - " Drink. Drugs. Sex. A fight. Any or all of the above. "I'm just running up to the secondhand shop to sell back some of my repairs."

Something in the angle of Bee's top casing looked skeptical.

"If I'm more than an hour, you can call Brasso. I won't be mad."

At her lowest, she'd shouted at Bee for doing exactly that, and caught herself mid-scream. Bee, who was as scared and lonely as any of them, without Maarva, without - 

It had made her crawl into her bed and huddle in a pile of self-loathing for a day, which hadn't felt any better than the screaming. 

"O-k-kay," he said, almost sternly. "One hour."

She smiled at him and picked up her bag. The parts she'd been working on all morning clunked against each other inside. 

Hair brushed and braided. Socks on, shoes on. Mood tab swallowed, out of the bottle Brasso couldn't afford on his dock worker's salary, but bought anyway. Coat zipped up against the cutting wind off the sea. Scarf wrapped around her head. Front door, locked behind her.

She checked them off in her head like a list of how to be a person. 

The window next to the door - one last double-check, from outside. just like Brasso did - was the same window that was over her bed. She'd stared out that window for hours, numb and blank, when they'd first gotten here, haunted by what the Imperials had done to her. 

Focus on the birds when it’s bad, Bixy, Jezzi had murmured, fingers tender in her hair. Watch them soar. 

Jezzi was gone, back to Ferrix, but Bix still watched the birds on her worst days. Lying there, she would think, who even am I anymore?

She remembered the Bix Caleen she used to be once. Strong, tough, centered. Supremely confident in her place. Striding through her little world and knowing where her feet would land. A Ferrix girl, a business owner, someone trying to fight against the Empire in her own way. 

But it was like thinking about someone she used to know, a long time ago. The center had been pulled out of her in a dingy hotel room, scattered to the winds on the screams of dying children.

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pressed her hands to the nearest wall. "Good day," she muttered, focusing on the rough, cold stone under her palms. "It is a good day. It is going to be a good day."

When she could, she walked on, listening to the birds.

Gangi Port people passed her by, some of them giving her sidelong looks, some looking past her. It never would have been like that back home. This six-block journey would have taken an hour because she had to stop and say hello, how are the kids, sorry to hear about your granddad. Oh me? Shop's good, Paak's good, Timm's good, of course, I'll tell 'em you say hello. 

Well, you're not there anymore. You're here.

The secondhand shop was supposed to be open all day. But the clerk was locking up, a package under his arm.

"Where are you going?" she demanded. The sound of her own voice threw her. Loud. Confident.

He whipped around, bone-white, then gasped and leaned back against the door. "It's just you."

"Yeah, just me, here to sell you some stock. Where are you going?"

"Out."

It sounded so much like her own words to Bee that she narrowed her eyes. He looked away.

"I've got an errand," he said. "Delivery."

She kept silent.

"I - the - it's got to go out. Today. Someone was supposed to pick it up. But he - they - the lunch hour got cut because they - and - I have to. Delivery."

Wow. He was a mess. And she could say that as a certified hot mess herself. 

"You're going to lose a lot of business closing up like this," she said. "Everyone shops on their lunch hour. Your boss know?"

His eyes darted to the side.

"He doesn't know," she said. "How's about I tell him?"

"Please," he said. "Please, I - this is important. This - this package. It's important."

She looked at the package. It was a square box wrapped in brown paper, unlabeled except for a light pencil sketch of a bird in one corner. 

She knew in her bones it was going to the Rebels. Somehow, some way, it was destined to fight the Empire.

She should stay out of this. Wasn't this how she'd ended up in that hotel room?

"Listen," he said again, the tones of a man with a brilliant idea. "Why don't we make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

"I'll buy all those off you, sight unseen, if you take this down to the docks for me and don't tell anyone, ever. Then I won't have to close."

"You'll buy all my stuff anyway, so your deal's shit. Throw in twenty-five credits extra and I'll do it."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Twenty extra, but only when I get confirmation it's on its way."

Okay. He wasn't as dumb as he looked. 

"Done," she said. "Where am I taking it?"

"The docks."

The docks. Damn. Walking there, finding whoever was waiting for this package, and walking back would put her well over the hour she'd promised Bee.

But the docks was where Brasso was, so she would find him and - 

Well. She'd catch his eye from afar. Show him she was there. Wave that she was going home. 

They were awkward lately, since she'd tried to kiss him in the middle of an argument, while she was drunk off her ass, and he'd just stood there like a stone pillar. They hadn't spoken about it since. Hadn't spoken about much. She'd known Brasso since she was born and sometimes lately it felt like living with a stranger. 

She rustled in her bag and brought out the pieces she'd repaired to the clerk, who traded them for his package. She opened her bag and tucked it in, and the shoulder strap immediately cut harder into her shoulder. Heavy. And the way it rattled felt like - hmmm. Maybe a carbonti sensor array?

No wonder he needed it delivered so bad. Those could fetch enough for four bottles of mood tabs. She should have held out for more.

"Who am I meeting?"

"Don't know."

"Don't know? You sure this is legal?" she said, just to tweak him. His eyes darted again.

Seriously? Someone needed to teach him about how to play it cool.

"He'll be wearing a scarf."

Saying nothing, she lifted the ends of her own raggedy scarf. It was cold enough to freeze a tauntaun's tits out here. Everyone was wearing a scarf.

"Orange. White stripes. You need to go. Their lunch hour got shorted today. That's why I had to deliver it."

"Fine," she said. "Going. White with orange stripes."

"Orange! With white stripes!"

She waved over her shoulder as she twirled on her heel to head down the sidewalk. The sea birds shrieked joyfully overhead.

The walk to the docks was a mile and a half. Her legs started to get tired. She rarely walked this much anymore. Her mood, so buoyant, began to sag. The screeches of the birds began to grate.

Was she out of her head? Well, yes, she was. But playing courier for Rebels? Again?

But what would it get her if she didn't? She'd still be poor broken Bixy, shattered into pieces, whether she did this or not. So why not? Why not hit back if she could?

Maybe it was a mosquito bite of a strike, but she'd've done it. 

What could a mosquito bite do?

Fucking well annoy them, and she'd take that.

Swinging wildly from up to down, she still kept walking, one foot in front of the other. Her thighs ached, and her shoulder burned from the unaccustomed weight of her bag. When a patrol marched by at the end of a street she was walking down, she froze, and couldn't move for at least five minutes. 

When her knees unlocked, she almost turned and went back. Keep your twenty credits, here's your package.

But she was closer to the docks now than she was to the shop. And the patrol was gone. They wouldn't come around again, not in the time she had.

Keep walking, Bixy.

The smell reached her first, fish and salt, and then the sounds of water ships, the slap of water and the shouts of the sailors. A bell clanged, tang, tang, tang, tang,  small and tinny to someone who'd grown up with the resonant clang of the anvil in the tower. The workers started flooding off the dock, some heading for a beach shack, some pulling food from their pockets, some meeting a person waiting for them with a pail and a kiss. She scanned them all for an orange scarf, and also for Brasso's big form. 

"Heyyyy, Bixy."

Ahhhhh, kriff.

Norlis was obnoxious in two ways - one, he'd once heard Brasso calling her Bixy, which was how she'd been known to most of Ferrix from birth to fifteen, and thought it was cute - or more accurately, thought he was cute when he said it. And also, she'd screwed him. Twice, which meant he thought it could be an ongoing thing. 

Okay, she'd been drunk both times, but still, she didn't know what she'd been thinking.

Please let him not be wearing an orange scarf.

She looked over her shoulder. Stone and sky, there was mercy in the universe. His scarf was black. "What do you want?"

He grinned at her. "Think it's more about what you want. You came to see me? That's so cute. Did you bring lunch?"

"Kriff off. I'm not here for you."

"Aren't you, though?"

"No, I'm not. Leave me alone."

He put his hand on her arm, and she yanked away. He reached for her again and she grabbed his arm, twisting his wrist until he went to his knees, cursing.

"Leave," she snarled. "Me. Alone."

He called her a filthy name. She twisted harder. He glared, then nodded yes. Then she dropped his arm and turned to walk away.

Brasso stood just behind her, huge arms folded over his huger chest. 

Well, now she knew why Norlis had given in so quickly. 

"I took care of it," she said, striding past him.

"I know," he said. "What's wrong?"

"I just said - "

"Not him. What's wrong? Why are you here? What do you need?"

"Nothing's wrong." She looked around, searching out an orange scarf with white stripes. "I don't need anything."

"You just took a walk?" he said, voice overloaded with skepticism.

"I'm running an errand." It had been orange and white, right? Yes, she'd repeated it, messing with the clerk on purpose. Orange and white. Orange and white. Orange and - 

"What kind of errand?"

Kriff it! 

She spun around and saw what she'd missed before - the scarf wrapped around Brasso's neck. Faded orange with dingy white stripes.

She stared at it, mind whirling. 

Brasso. Brasso had - Brasso was - 

"Bix," he said. 

"I - I came to bring you this," she said, lifting the bag off her shoulder.

He frowned at her, then looked in the bag. His eyes shot back to hers. "You know what this is?"

"Yeah," she said. "Do you?"

He looped it over his shoulder. "Thanks, Bixy," he said a little too loudly. She was surrounded by people she could fleece blind in sabacc. "Let's walk this way, eh?"

He laid his big, warm hand on her shoulder and steered her off to one side. He stepped confidently down a set of jumbled boulders at the edge of the water, clearly knowing the way to a favored spot. When he turned to offer his hand, she ignored it and picked her own more precarious way down. 

He dropped to a large, flat boulder with a sigh and pulled a protein bar out of jacket. He bit off a corner and chewed meditatively for a moment. “Who gave you this?” he said.

She settled down next to him, the stone bitter cold against her butt. She tugged her coat around herself and wished she'd thought to put some food in her own pocket. “Clerk at the secondhand shop. I was going in to sell some of my pieces. He was locking up. What are you going to do with it?”

“My job. I’m going to put it in a cargo hold.”

“You can’t tell me that’s on a manifest.”

“Didn’t say that.” He broke the bar in half and offered her the side he hadn't bit into.

She pushed it away. If that was his whole lunch, she wasn't taking any of it. She took enough from him. “You know where that’s going. Or who it’s going to.”

He laid the half-bar on his knee. “Of course I do.” He looked out over the sea as if he could spot the spaceport on the other side, the ship that would fly away with this package, the Rebel fleet that was waiting for it. 

“And you’re still - ?”

“Fighting,” he said. “Like Maarva said in her eulogy.” He grimaced. “You didn’t hear that. She - “

“I heard it,” she said quietly. “From the - from the hotel window. Before - Cassian came.”

He stared down at her. She turned her head and looked out at the sea. 

It was the closest they'd ever come to talking about . . . what happened. 

There's a wound at the center of the galaxy, Maarva had said, and there was a wound at the center of Bix Caleen. Whenever it threatened to devour her whole, she would recite Maarva's words to herself: I want you to go on.

"Bixy," Brasso said softly, and she looked back at him involuntarily. "You shouldn't've done it. This package."

"Why not?" she said, abruptly annoyed. "Why shouldn't I fight as well?"

He lowered his voice. "You're a wanted woman! Fugitive from Imperial custody, remember?"

"Hard to forget. But what about you? Inciting a riot? Can't imagine the Empire's pleased with that, either."

"I didn't incite," he said. 

"You smashed an Imperial in the head with Maarva's funeral brick."

He cracked a grin at that. "S'what she would've wanted."

She found herself smiling too. "Wasn't it just." But she poked him in the arm. "What did you think would happen? They'd shrug and say 'boys will be boys'?"

"I'm fine. None of the patrols pay me any mind. I'm just a big dumb dock worker running an errand. Nothing for them to see."

"You're not dumb," she said. "Don't say that. How did you get pulled in, anyway?"

He shrugged. "About a month ago, deckhand broke his leg on the passage. I was going into town anyway, over my lunch break. He asked me to pick something up for him. Told me the alley, next to the secondhand shop, marked like this one." He gestured at her bag. "Just pick it up and walk away. I did it.  Next week, another deckhand on a completely different ship asked me the same thing."

"You knew what it was from the start?"

"I'm not dumb," he said. 

“That's a long walk," she said. "Must take the whole time you have for lunch."

He shrugged. “Usually does.”

“Every day?”

“Nah. He puts a flag on the main road. I see it when I'm walking to work. I call from the public comms when I've picked it up."

"Someone's going to notice," she said.

"People see me," he said. "Hard to miss me. But they don't notice me."

It stung. "They should."

He shook his head. 

"They should," she repeated, more forcefully. "And someone will. A dock worker running into town all the time? Tell me the other lads do it. Go on."

He twisted his mouth. "They all know I've got - " He glanced at her. "Obligations."

Obligations. He meant her. 

She swallowed the bitterness in her mouth. It was only the truth, after all. "Here's what we're going to do, Brass."

"We?"

"I'm going to start bringing you your lunch."

"I can bring my lunch."

She rolled her eyes to the heavens. The sea birds screeched with laughter. "Lunch is not the point. Look, the doctor said it, right? I need to get exercise. Get out in the fresh air." Her thighs twinged a reminder of the walk she'd taken, and the walk she had ahead of her. "So I'll bring you your lunch every day."

He opened his mouth. 

"And if some days, I happen to swing by that secondhand store and happen to pick up a package, well, that's just something that'll happen."

"I don't know."

"You get to have your whole lunch hour to yourself, I get a walk, and nobody notices you running errand after errand into town."

"And you?"

"What about me? That crazy Bix girl getting some fresh air every day. Good for her. Nobody'll notice after the first few days." She nodded. "It makes perfect sense. We'll start tomorrow."

He held up his hands. "All right. I'm beat." He smiled at her. "It's good to see you like this, Bix."

"Upright? Sober?"

"With a spark in your eyes again." He reached out and gently tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. 

Her chest felt like he'd clamped that big hand around it, tenderly crushing all the air out, forcing her heart into her throat. It thumped, thumped, thumped while she looked up into his dark eyes.

She'd known him since she was born, a sturdy background figure a whole life stage ahead of her, maybe two. But Cassian had pulled them together - Bix madly in love with him, Brasso looking after him like a little brother - and even when that passionate teenage relationship had fallen to pieces, the one with Brasso had held strong. She would see him around Ferrix town and feel a surge of pure fondness - ah, there he is, our Brasso. 

People see me but they don't notice me, he'd said, and she hadn't noticed him. Not really. Not for years.

Well, she was noticing now. 

He dropped his hand and cleared his throat, looking away. Probably afraid she'd try to kiss him again. Not after he'd made his disinterest so thunderously clear. "What'll happen," he said, eyes fixed on the horizon, "if you have a bad day?"

She bit her lip. But it was true. Good days were becoming less rare, but bad days still happened. "If the flag's out and I'm not here by the lunch bell, go into town like you used to."

"I'll say it's to check up on you."

"Don't really check up on me. The walk's too long."

"Mmm," he said, a vague noise that might have been taken for agreement if she didn't know better.

The bell from earlier clanged loudly over the water again, and up on the dock, all the workers started getting to their feet. 

"It's over already?" she said. "That's all you get?"

"Two minute warning," he said indistinctly, shoving the remainder of the protein bar into his mouth. "Short today." He waved  a hand at all the ships waiting and chewed ferociously.

She picked up the wrapper and put it in her pocket. "Listen," she said. "How much are they paying you for this - errand?"

He held up a finger, chewed a few more times, swallowed, and shook his head. "I wouldn't ask for paying."

"Brass!" She clutched her head. "You can't do this for free." 

He opened his mouth and she shook her finger at him. "I've seen your paystub. That house is expensive. Food, heat, clothes, those are all expensive. My mood tabs are really expensive. And we both know - “ She stopped and swallowed. “We know I'm in no shape to hold down any kind of job."

His eyes went sad, but he nodded slowly.

"So, we charge. Believe me, that clerk is getting his." She rubbed her fingers together. "He's gotten free deliveries off you for a month now, but that ends. I'm getting twenty today, but that was an emergency. I think I can make it ten per delivery, maybe fifteen, I don't know. See how much I scare him."

A smile crept over his face, just as she'd hoped. "You're a shark, Bix Caleen."

Because her heart had thumped again, she wrapped her scarf tightly around her ears. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

He offered her his arm so they could pick their way back up the rocks.  "Only you."

FINIS

[strangedreamings]

Doctor Strange Supreme/Peggy Carter for the ship meme.

I definitely ship it.

1. What made you ship it?

Seeing how they interact in "What If... The Watcher Broke His Oath?" is what made me think they belong together.

I already adored Peggy from "What If... Captain Carter Were The First Avenger?" and while I've loved Stephen Strange ever since DS 1, this version had me head over heels after "What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead Of His Hands" and especially the end of "What If... Ultron Won?". In that brief scene, we know he's suffering pain and self-torment, but he's still a little shit, so everything he's been through hasn't completely broken his spirit.

The compassion Peggy shows Stephen in the season finale after seeing his tentacled hand and talking to him about his past then his response, a genuine if sad smile, had me SWOONING. This is the kind of chemistry I rarely get in canon, then during the battle with Ultron, we see Stephen unleash even more tentacles and while Peggy stares for a moment, she doesn't freak out. She could definitely handle being in a relationship with him, even in his lowest moments.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Like I said, this ship has chemistry in spades and it isn't even canon!

I love that Peggy is tough, tough enough to handle anything the Multiverse throws at her, but she's still enthusiastic and sweet. She's now able to move on from Steve, though she'll always miss him, and let herself find love again.

I love that Stephen is no longer alone and he now has someone who understands him, who has felt similar loss, but who can also stand up to him and kick his ass when necessary and face down his literal and figurative demons.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, I think it should be canon. :P

[academy13]

Have a D&D character I created for a one shot I'm doing this saturday, we shall see how the character who's basically Peggy Carter with a dose of Lois Lane's chaotic energy goes. Because that's literally the entire inspiration behind the character, whom by the way is a fighter with some frankly batshit stats simply because I rolled really well creating her. I can easily multiclass this character because of these stats, because the lowest is a 12 and the highest is a fucking 18. I'm literally going to hang on to this charcter because those stats are insane and useful.

[rookthorne]

Are you trying to kill me with that gif? Seriously woman, I’ve defied death once, I cannot do it again 🤣

“So grumpy,” you forced his attention away from the slow drip of his coffee. “I’ll make it worth your while Sergeant Barnes.” You bit your lip and gave him your best fuck me eyes. They worked better than the puppy ones. 

target in sight.

Bucky had a hint of a smile on his lips. “Oh yeah? This is a big ask, doll. I better get something amazing in return.” 

ready to pull the trigger.

Bucky sighed but couldn’t ever deny you anything. “Yes,” he groaned.

BOOM

HEADSHOT

Shyness was a rare feeling for you–but as you walked hand in hand with Bucky through the crowded theater lobby, you could feel yourself blushing. The dress Bucky had picked out for you–emerald green velvet that left nothing to the imagination–captured everyone’s attention. Every eye was on you as Bucky guided you through the lobby and up to your private box seats. The fact that you were currently squeezing your thighs together, way too focused on the remote-controlled vibrator between your legs, may have had something to do with your sudden bashfulness. Bucky was sure to keep one hand stuffed in his pocket, to hide his left hand but mostly to torture you with the possibility that the vibrator could buzz to life at any moment. 

god, if this ever happens to me in real life, imma pass out.

You turned to him as he cleared his throat. Your eyes raked over his body too, following water droplets as they traveled down his chest and over his abs before disappearing under his towel. The uber-defined V-cut he was showing off made you salivate; you wanted to lick every drop of water off him until he was begging you to use your mouth somewhere else. 

focus, ladies, foc-

The mischievous twinkle in your eye disappeared as Bucky stalked toward you, a slightly annoyed frown on his face. He wasn’t in the mood to play. 

but daddy 🥺

HAYLIE FOR FUCKS SAKE

“Sweetheart?” He turned the vibe off and let you catch your breath. “Color?” 

“Green,” you panted. 

“Good girl, come here.” 

“Oh god, oh fuck, don’t stop–just like that–fuck doll gonna come in your slutty little mouth,” Bucky fucked your face harder than he ever had.

what does a girl gotta do to have this? asking for a friend

Bucky kissed the top of your head as he turned the vibe onto the lowest setting. He smirked as you jolted and glared at him. 

“Watch the show, baby girl,” he whispered. 

You bit your lip to contain your whimper. 

Baby girl–baby girl?! Jesus! What is he trying to do, get me pregnant? 

MY EXACT FUCKING THOUGHTS

“That actor doesn’t even look like you,” you muttered. “His ass is too flat.” 

You both leaned forward as Bucky dialed Sam’s phone, the loud ringtone going off right in the middle of Steve’s dramatic solo about Peggy. Sam jolted awake and scrambled for his phone as a disgruntled noise came from the audience. You and Bucky were nearly crying with laughter, and you both fell back into your seats when Sam turned in your direction. 

GODDAMMIT, GUYS! 🤣

“You look so gorgeous like this, sweetheart.” Bucky nibbled on your ear as his hand moved over your thigh again. “I wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel earlier.” 

I can’t keep composed in these conditions please stop

have mercy

“You’re thinking about sucking my tits while I bounce on your cock, aren’t you?”

HA HA HA HA

SUCK SHIT BARNES!

You were undeterred; you scooted closer to him and ran your hand up and down his thigh. “Oh, come on, Sarge. I’m so horny,” you whined. “Just take me into a coat closet and fuck me real hard, real fast, please?” Your hand was now caressing his cock through his slacks, and you could feel him getting harder the more you talked. 

I am literally giggling at this, I love her so much.

“No one’s going to notice if I slip onto the floor and stick this fat cock down my throat.” 

You had lost count after the fourth one. Your brain was no longer functioning. How wrong you had been to think that Bucky would continue denying you. No, his plan was quite the opposite.

you would not hear me complaining at all. FUCK 🥵

Bucky crawled over you, your body jumping when his cock drug over your over sensitive clit. “Look at you,” Bucky almost chuckled as he kissed your flushed cheeks. “You’re already begging for mercy, and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” 

you smug fucking bastard. I hate him.

“Fuck, fuck, such a dirty slut for me,” Bucky groaned, picking up speed. 

Your Eyes Outshine The Town...Chapter 9

Bucky Barnes x Black Female Reader

18+ ONLY

*Tumblr is not letting me add links to the prev or next chapters. Please see the masterlist pinned to my page for the rest of the story!*

Summary/Warnings: SMUT. JUST FILTHY DOM BUCKY SMUTTT. Okay, not just smut, you and Bucky go to the opening night of Rogers: The Musical!

5 Days Before Christmas 

“Come on, Buck, please,” you whined, giving Bucky your best puppy eyes. “It’ll be fun, and aren’t you at least a little curious?” 

Bucky rolled off of the air mattress and set his face in a look of determination, trying not to give in. “I’m really not. Musicals aren’t exactly my thing.” 

“Sam’s going, Clint and Bruce are going, baby, everyone but us is going,” you pouted, propping yourself up on your elbow as you watched Bucky stretch. 

“You can go with them; I won’t be upset.” 

Bucky gave you a soft smile over his shoulder before making a beeline for the coffee pot. You had tried to buy him a fancy contraption with little pods that you said would be much easier to use. But Bucky hated the taste; the flavors were all too sweet, and his plain black coffee tasted watered down. He continued to ignore your pouting stare as he scooped coffee into the filter. Your annoyed huff as you threw the blankets off of your body and got out of bed put a slight smile on his lips. 

“I don’t want to go without you.” You followed Bucky into the kitchen and wrapped your arms around him. “Are you afraid that the actor who plays you will be hotter, and I’ll leave you for him?” You teased. 

“Yeah, right,” Bucky scoffed. 

“So grumpy,” you forced his attention away from the slow drip of his coffee. “I’ll make it worth your while Sergeant Barnes.” You bit your lip and gave him your best fuck me eyes. They worked better than the puppy ones. 

Bucky had a hint of a smile on his lips. “Oh yeah? This is a big ask, doll. I better get something amazing in return.” 

You smiled at the glint of mischief in his eyes; he already had something in mind. “Like what, Buck?” You asked innocently. 

Bucky smirked. “I’ll surprise you. When is the show again?” 

Your eyes lit up at his concession. “It’s tonight. So, we’re going?” 

Bucky sighed but couldn’t ever deny you anything. “Yes,” he groaned.

You squealed as you stood on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck.

“Guess we better go do some last-minute shopping then.” 

“For what?” You asked. 

“For what you’re going to wear to make it worth my while.” Bucky winked at you, grabbing his fresh cup of coffee and leaving you bubbling with excitement in the kitchen. 

**

Shyness was a rare feeling for you–but as you walked hand in hand with Bucky through the crowded theater lobby, you could feel yourself blushing. The dress Bucky had picked out for you–emerald green velvet that left nothing to the imagination–captured everyone’s attention. Every eye was on you as Bucky guided you through the lobby and up to your private box seats. The fact that you were currently squeezing your thighs together, way too focused on the remote-controlled vibrator between your legs, may have had something to do with your sudden bashfulness. Bucky was sure to keep one hand stuffed in his pocket, to hide his left hand but mostly to torture you with the possibility that the vibrator could buzz to life at any moment. 

**

You were dusting a sparkly gold highlighter over your chest when Bucky stepped out of the shower, wrapping a fluffy white towel low around his waist. 

His eyes roved over you; you were bent slightly over the sink, and your legs looked a mile long in the short dress. Your back was on display, your curly hair cascading down over your shoulders. The velvet fit snugly over your ass which was sinfully tempting in the position you were in. Bucky’s eyes moved up to watch you in the mirror, your brush moving delicately over the tops of your breasts, which looked ridiculously good. His throat felt dry as he tried not to think about slipping your dress up over your hips and watching your tits in the mirror as they bounced rhythmically with every sharp thrust he gave you. His dominant nature had been itching to come out and play, but as he admired you, his desire to let you do anything you wanted threatened to temper his fire.

You turned to him as he cleared his throat. Your eyes raked over his body too, following water droplets as they traveled down his chest and over his abs before disappearing under his towel. The uber-defined V-cut he was showing off made you salivate; you wanted to lick every drop of water off him until he was begging you to use your mouth somewhere else. 

“Hey, handsome,” you said with a flirty grin. “It’s really a shame that we’re skipping the red carpet—you’re too hot to sit back and let Sam get all the attention. Him and Yelena are already sending me pictures—they think they saw Rihanna—Bucky, are you even listening to me?” 

“You look fucking amazing. Are you—” Bucky’s eyes hadn’t moved from where they were focused on your tits; he was practically drooling. 

You stuck your chest out a little more. “Am I what, Buck?” 

“The dress is backless—” he cleared his throat. 

You snickered and pulled the top of your dress down, flashing him your bare chest. 

“Fuck,” Bucky muttered under his breath, rubbing his jaw as if he was in pain. 

You smiled at him as you fixed your dress. “Are you sure you’re going to make it through the evening, Buck?” 

“Oh, I’ll be fine.” 

You narrowed your eyes at the change in his tone. You looked back at him–his whole demeanor had shifted as he casually leaned against the door frame, his lips twitching with a secret. 

“I have some rules for you to follow,” his commanding whisper was well controlled; he was determined to stay in charge. “Number one, you gotta call me by my appropriate title.” 

“You want me to call you Sarge?” You batted your eyelashes at him in the mirror as you put your earrings in. 

Bucky tried to ignore the twitch under his towel as you said it and nodded his head. “Sergeant Barnes is also acceptable.” 

“Is that all?” You leaned over the counter again, trying to make him lose his grasp on his control. 

The mischievous twinkle in your eye disappeared as Bucky stalked toward you, a slightly annoyed frown on his face. He wasn’t in the mood to play. 

You watched as he silently opened his bathroom drawer and pulled out a small silk bag. What he took out of it made your heart rate pick up. Bucky smirked as he quickly slid his hands under your dress and pulled your black lacy panties down your legs. Before he could ask if you wanted to continue, you spread your legs wider for him. A tiny gasp left your lips as Bucky pushed the vibrator inside of you and pulled your underwear back up. 

“Second rule, no coming unless I say so,” he whispered against your neck. 

He turned to leave the room, and you stared after him with your mouth half-open in surprise. 

“Buck–oh shit,” your words died on your tongue as the vibrator turned on, stimulating not only your now very sensitive clit, but also your g-spot perfectly. 

“You’re already breaking the rules,” Bucky tsked, crossing his arms as he watched you try and control yourself. 

You shivered at how upset he looked–his disappointment that you couldn’t follow one simple rule shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did. 

Bucky turned the vibration up a notch, and you leaned against the counter, your pretty lips parted in a little “O,” your cheeks already starting to flush. He licked his lips, fighting the groan that was building; he was already rock hard, and you hadn’t even left the house yet. 

“Sweetheart?” He turned the vibe off and let you catch your breath. “Color?” 

“Green,” you panted. 

“Good girl, come here.” 

You went to him on shaky legs, his angry scowl softening now that you had accepted your role for the evening. 

“Look what you do to me, doll.” Bucky grabbed your hand and pressed it against the prominent erection his towel was attempting to hide. 

You bit your lip and looked up at him with surprised doe eyes. 

“Need you to be a good girl and take care of this for me before we leave.” He slowly rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down slightly before letting it pop back into place.

You choked back your moan; you wanted him like this all the time. You licked your lips in anticipation. “Yes, Sarge.”

Bucky groaned at your sultry voice and the title slipping off your tongue as you sank to your knees in front of him. 

Bucky grabbed the door frame to steady himself as you threw his towel on the floor, skipped the teasing, and sucked his thick cock into your warm mouth. 

“Look so pretty with your lips around me,” Bucky moaned. “Take it all.” 

He gasped as you relaxed your throat and let his tip slip in. “Such a good girl, fuck.” 

You clenched around the vibrator in your pussy and moaned on Bucky’s cock. He was absolutely killing you. 

“Just like that—little faster sweetheart.” 

You sped up, hollowing your cheeks—your heart racing as Bucky moaned loudly. He was hot and heavy on your tongue, and he tasted so damn good. You felt like a fucking goddess on the floor as he sang down praises and tried to control the pitch of his voice. Your tongue swirled around the red tip of his cock, and you knew he was close; his thighs started to shake under your hands. You brought a hand up to gently squeeze his balls, and Bucky’s hands flew to your hair as his cock twitched on your tongue. 

“Oh god, oh fuck, don’t stop–just like that–fuck doll gonna come in your slutty little mouth,” Bucky fucked your face harder than he ever had. Your fingernails dug sharply into his thigh, but you didn’t stop him; you felt like you were going to come any second. 

You gave his balls another slight squeeze, and he whimpered loudly as he filled your mouth with his hot cum. 

You sucked him clean as he leaned against the door catching his breath. 

Still on your knees, your hair a mess and your cheeks flushed, you looked up at him innocently. “Was that good, Sarge?” 

“Fucking hell,” Bucky groaned and pulled you to your feet. “Are you sure we can’t just stay here?” He kissed and groped you needily–grabbing handfuls of your ass under your dress before moving up to roughly squeeze your breasts. 

“I’m fucking soaked, baby,” you whimpered in his ear. 

Bucky groaned and started to push you toward the bed. 

“But, I wanna see what else you have in store for tonight before you fuck me stupid.” 

Bucky forced himself to separate from you. “Well, my plan is to see how quickly I can make you beg to come home.” 

“Challenge accepted,” you smiled. 

Bucky pecked your lips before starting to get dressed. “I’m not gonna go easy on you.” He licked his lips at your hesitant expression. “Meet me outside when you’re ready. If I stand here any longer, I won’t be able to resist fucking you–you smell divine.” Bucky groaned the last few words and quickly removed himself from the temptation, disappearing into the closet to put his suit on. This was supposed to be torture for you, but he would suffer as much. 

**

Bucky waved to Sam over the railing; while the rest of the Avengers had opted for seats closer to the stage, Bucky had requested a private box. Even with his plan in place to distract himself, every time he glanced at the stage and the people down below, he felt like he might be sick. 

“You okay?” You whispered when he took his seat next to you. 

Your gentle touch and the concern in your voice soothed him back into his earlier demeanor. “Fine,” he kissed your lips quickly before placing his hand in his pocket.  

He sat back with an innocent smile on his face as he watched you squirm. He hadn’t used the vibe yet, and your anticipation of when he would was turning out to be more delicious than actually using it. 

As the lights dimmed and the first song began, you relaxed into your seat, squeezing Bucky’s hand. 

Bucky kissed the top of your head as he turned the vibe onto the lowest setting. He smirked as you jolted and glared at him. 

“Watch the show, baby girl,” he whispered. 

You bit your lip to contain your whimper. 

Baby girl–baby girl?! Jesus! What is he trying to do, get me pregnant? 

You tried to focus on the show, but the pressure on your clit was too overwhelming. Bucky sitting next to you in an all-black suit that even Zemo would have been proud of was not helping your situation. You squeezed his hand and your armrest, trying very hard not to move your hips, but all you wanted was to grind down onto the vibrator stuffed in your pussy until you came. 

Bucky moved his hand out of your grip and rubbed your thigh, the short dress gave him easy access to your warm skin, and he nearly growled at the barely audible whimper that left your throat. 

He left you like that for a while, teasing you with his large hand and the low-level vibration until you leaned closer to him and begged for more. 

Bucky turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “What was that baby girl?” 

You closed your eyes as the pleasure of his words washed over you. “Please, Sarge? Wanna come,” you whispered in his ear. 

Your warm breath on his ear and neck made his cock twitch. He turned the vibration up again. 

“Oh fuck–please,” you begged, your nails digging into his bicep. 

“Behave.” Bucky turned his attention to the show and rolled his eyes as his character came on stage. 

You pouted and sat back in your seat when Bucky turned the vibe off completely. You were so wet, so turned on, your skin felt red hot. After downing your vodka on the rocks, you started to feel a little more in control. You held Bucky’s hand again, laying on his shoulder and rubbing his strong muscles with your free hand. 

“That actor doesn’t even look like you,” you muttered. “His ass is too flat.” 

Bucky snorted, drawing annoyed looks and huffs from the audience members in the surrounding boxes. 

You smiled, glad that Bucky seemed to be enjoying himself. You wanted this to be a good experience for him. You sat like that for a while, cuddled together, and made jokes about the show. Bucky pointed out every detail they got wrong and added his own memories. 

“Look,” you nudged Bucky, “Sam’s already asleep.” 

Bucky looked over the railing and saw Sam practically drooling as he slept on Yelena’s shoulder. 

“Wow, embarrassing.” Bucky grinned as he pulled out his cellphone. “You think he turned his phone off?” 

“Don’t!” You whispered with a goading smile. 

You both leaned forward as Bucky dialed Sam’s phone, the loud ringtone going off right in the middle of Steve’s dramatic solo about Peggy. Sam jolted awake and scrambled for his phone as a disgruntled noise came from the audience. You and Bucky were nearly crying with laughter, and you both fell back into your seats when Sam turned in your direction. 

Bucky slumped down, hiding his smile with his hand as he showed you the angry text Sam had just sent. 

“Scale of 1-10, how much does he hate us right now?” You wiped the tears from your eyes and sat back up in your seat. 

“Oh, definitely a 20.” 

“Probably–” your sentence was cut off when Bucky suddenly turned the vibe back on to the highest setting. 

You had to bite your tongue to keep from moaning as you clenched your thighs together. 

Bucky watched you from the corner of his eye, your body rigid, trying so hard not to move, your eyes desperate and pleading, your chest moving up and down rapidly. He wanted you so much–he needed to break you. 

“You look so gorgeous like this, sweetheart.” Bucky nibbled on your ear as his hand moved over your thigh again. “I wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel earlier.” 

You bit your lip as his hand traveled higher up your thigh. You nodded your head in response to his words, but he paused his movements. 

“If you wanna come, we gotta go home.” 

You huffed and glared at him. You could see the hunger in his eyes as he watched you try not to come in the middle of the theater. He thought you didn’t notice his lingering gaze on your tits, which were heaving up and down rapidly now. You watched his eyes flick to them again, and his hand squeezed your thigh tightly while his tongue wet his lips. You could break him too. 

“You’re thinking about sucking my tits while I bounce on your cock, aren’t you?” 

Bucky’s eyes snapped back up to yours, and he turned the vibe off. “That’s not how this works, baby girl,” he whispered against your cheek before lightly kissing it. 

You were undeterred; you scooted closer to him and ran your hand up and down his thigh. “Oh, come on, Sarge. I’m so horny,” you whined. “Just take me into a coat closet and fuck me real hard, real fast, please?” Your hand was now caressing his cock through his slacks, and you could feel him getting harder the more you talked. 

“Sweetheart–” Bucky warned but made no move to stop you as you started to undo his button and zipper. 

“It’s dark, and we’re sitting all alone. No one’s going to notice.” 

Bucky tilted his head back as your nails drug lightly over his erection through his boxers. 

“No one’s going to notice if I slip onto the floor and stick this fat cock down my throat.” 

“Fuck,” Bucky quietly groaned and gripped your wrist before you could slip your hand down his boxers. “No,” he hissed at you and moved your hand out of his pants. 

You crossed your arms and huffed at him. 

“I told you to behave,” Bucky growled at you as he pulled your face closer to his. “Now I’m gonna have to punish you. It’s too bad, I really wanted to make you come on my cock over and over when we got home, but I guess I’ll have to do without.” 

Bucky shrugged dramatically and sat back in his seat, trying not to smirk at the agape look on your face. 

You sat back in your own seat, stubbornly keeping your arms crossed, even when he reached out to hold your hand. You were going to force him to give in first. 

But he didn’t. He didn’t turn the vibe back on either, which was driving you crazy.  

Finally, when you realized the play was getting to the part where Bucky “died,” you softened. This was supposed to be a good time for both of you. 

You curled back up against his side and held his hand between both of yours. 

“I’m okay,” Bucky whispered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Okay, baby,” you whispered back with a kiss on his cheek. You kept your hold on his hand and tightened it when you realized they were launching into a Winter Soldier sequence that detailed every horrible highlight of Bucky’s past. 

Bucky’s eyes darted around nervously as he noticed a few people glancing in his direction. He didn’t want to ruin the night for you; he could do this. 

“Baby, can we go get some air? I don’t feel so great.” You tugged on his hand, and he quickly nodded and led you out of the theater. 

Once you were in the cold New York air, you shrugged into your coat and leaned against the brick wall. 

“You okay, doll? Did I go too far?” Bucky’s brow was furrowed with concern. 

“I’m okay, baby,” you smiled at him and grabbed his tie to pull him closer to you. 

Understanding dawned on Bucky’s face–you had done that for him, knowing he wouldn’t have done it himself. 

You kissed him before he could say anything. “You won the game, Sergeant Barnes. Please, I’m begging you, take me home. I need you,” You kissed him through your words, getting increasingly needier. 

Bucky brushed your hair back, smiling at you adoringly. “I love you, doll.”  Bucky kissed you again, shoving his tongue in your mouth while his hands glided down your back and over your ass. He pulled away and let you chase his lips before pushing you back against the wall. “But, I’m still gonna punish you for that stunt you pulled in there.” 

You whimpered; the thought of not getting to come made you want to cry, but it was worth it to find out what kinds of delicious torment he had in store. 

** 

Never in your life had you let a man or woman have total control of your body the way you let Bucky. You surrendered to him without any doubt, without even a hint of hesitancy. And you had been thoroughly rewarded. 

Your ass still stung from the first part of your punishment; the sound of Bucky’s big hand landing on your flesh still rung in your ears. The ties around your wrist dug into your skin harshly as you pulled on them for the hundredth time, desperately trying to touch Bucky–touch him anywhere. You were desperate to feel him. 

“Bucky!” You tried to squirm away from his mouth. You gasped as Bucky slapped your thigh. “Fuck–Sorry! Sarge,” you gulped in air as Bucky’s tongue sped up. ``Please, I can’t take anymore.” Even as you said it, your hips lifted to catch the friction of his nose against your clit, and you moaned lowly as he pulled another orgasm from you. You had lost count after the fourth one. Your brain was no longer functioning. How wrong you had been to think that Bucky would continue denying you. No, his plan was quite the opposite. 

Bucky crawled over you, your body jumping when his cock drug over your over sensitive clit. “Look at you,” Bucky almost chuckled as he kissed your flushed cheeks. “You’re already begging for mercy, and I haven’t even fucked you yet.” 

“It’s too much,” you shuddered as his lips attached to your neck. 

“Hmm,” Bucky trailed his tongue up to your ear. “That’s quite the turnaround from begging for my cock in the middle of the theater.”  

Bucky moved down to suck your pert nipple into his mouth. “You have such pretty tits, doll,” he groaned, grinding against your hip. “I think I have an idea.” Bucky gently bit the top of your breast before moving back to your lips. “You gonna give me want?” 

Fuck him for making your sore pussy clench again. 

“Yes, Sarge,” you quickly agreed. 

“Good girl.” Bucky pecked your lips before sitting up on his knees. 

He only had to give you a look, and you knew what he wanted. You opened your mouth, flattening your tongue to allow his entrance. Bucky held on to the headboard, just above where your wrists were tied, and gave a few deep strokes into your mouth before pulling out. 

You whined at the loss, and Bucky shushed you, moving down your body until his throbbing cock fit in the valley of your breasts. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered, squirming underneath him. 

“You like this, baby girl? Want me to fuck your tits?” Bucky gently cupped the sides of your breasts, squeezing them together around his cock while he circled your nipples with his thumbs. 

“Please, Sarge, use me, please,” you panted until he started moving. 

His thick cock slid perfectly between your soft flesh, and Bucky could already feel the high he had put off for too long, quickly approaching. 

You stared up at him in total admiration. The look of bliss on his face was indescribable, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth, his handsome scruff shining from the hours he spent between your legs–but the best part was the little tremble of his lips, the click of his jaw when he started to get close. 

“Please, Sarge. Want you to come on my tits.” You stuck your tongue out again, lapping at his sensitive cock head every time it peeked through your cleavage. 

“Fuck, fuck, such a dirty slut for me,” Bucky groaned, picking up speed. 

“Yeah, only for you, Sarge. Give it to me.” 

The pressure snapped, and Bucky stilled; the sight of his come landing over your breasts and face had him completely stunned. No sounds came out of his mouth as he looked down at you, watching you slide your tongue over your lips to catch a taste of him. 

“So fucking perfect,” he groaned as he climbed off the bed to get a warm towel. 

You didn’t miss his cock bobbing between his legs, still just as hard as it was when you started.

Don't forget to reblog! 😉

*Tumblr is not letting me add links to the prev or next chapters. Please see the masterlist pinned to my page for the rest of the story!*

Taglist: @delaber @mannien @raindrcpsangell @cjand10

[cattordi]

bye bye

a/n: bye bye american pie. BLACK WIDOW SPOILERS KINDA: the beginning credits had me sobbing. NOT SPOILERS: and i feel like 40’s chris had a dom side or maybe a sub side A FUCKING SWITCH.

summary steve is about to be shipped off and never told you about it….

pairing 40’s!steve rogers x 40’s!reader

warning smut 18+ minors dni, oral (f receiving) light breeding kink, arguing, fluff, no protection(wrap it before u tap it.) angst, language, squirting, orgasm denial/control blah blah etc. (i think that’s it.) not proofread duh

‎⍟

“how’s my favorite girl doing?” steve says as he wanders into his room where you had been sitting waiting for him to get home. “when the hell were you gonna tell me steve?” you ask and your voice breaks.

he turns to look at you and immediately sees the ripped up deployment envelope on his bed, in front of you. “y/n.” he begins but you cut him off.

“no, when the hell were you gonna tell me? or was i never going to know? steve, i can’t believe you. this is the lowest of low.” you say and he stares at you in disbelief. you stand up and walk towards the wardrobe with your clothes in them but steve grabs your arms and jerks you to look at him.

“if you would listen for a goddamn minute, you’d know i was gonna tell you today. why’d you even open my mail anyways? he says and raises his voice slights.

“you were gonna tell me the day before you fucking left! and you ask me why i opened your mail? what kind of question?” you yell and once again steve stares at you in disbelief. “i’m leaving. have fun wherever the hell you’re going with peggy fucking carter. and i opened your mail because your name wasn’t on it and i was never informed that you were going anywhere.”

as soon as steve hears peggys names, a flip switches. “you’ve never been jealous before! what happened now?” he yells and you immediately turn around screaming at him.

“because you give her more attention than me and ive been with you before you became captain fucking america! i understand you were gonna get shipped off sooner of later but you didn’t tell me. don’t turn this on me!” you yell and steve grabs you by the face, roughly. “don’t talk to me like that ever again or i swear you won’t be able to walk again. and i don’t give her attention y/n. i’ve been avoiding her and refusing to be around her for the past month for you. literally rejecting her because i wanna be with a you.” he begins and you gasp slightly.

“even though this past month you’ve been so bratty and responsive. i didn’t wanna tell you because no matter what, i’d have too leave you and i don’t fucking want that. now stop acting like a brat strip, and get on the damn bed. and for this one time can you not say something back because you’re already in for it.”

you huff a bit when he lets your face go, but begin to unbutton your dress, slowly. steve watches you intently, “if you go any slower i’m gonna be shipped off. you’re all bark no bite.” he growls and you speed up. shagging your dress off and pulling your panties to the side.

you didn’t even notice that steve’s shirt had been discarded somewhere within his room. he pushes you onto you back, while pulling your legs open. you feel your arousal slide down your leg and chris notices quickly, “i haven’t even touched you. don’t cum. and i wanna hear you screaming and apologizing for yelling at me until i let you cum.”

you squeak out a “okay.” before steve dives in between your legs. just his hot breath on your heat makes you moan. his tongue rolls around your clit forcing you to buck your hips for more. “i’m sorry steve.” you mumble but can barely get the words out.

soon, your moans fill the room and you forget that he wants you to apologize. “i’m- im sorry. can i cum? can i cum please?” you yell and you’re pretty sure through the thin walls, steves neighbor can hear. he slips two fingers into you and continuously graze your g-spot.

his tongue flips through your folds like a book, and over your clit even more making your orgasm hard to contain. “i’m sorry steve. please let me cum. i can’t. i’m so sorry.” you gasp out and can feel steve grin in satisfaction. “i won’t yell at you again. just please let me cum!” you yell and the three letter word sends you over the edge.

“cum.” and you do. your orgasm comes so hard you don’t even realize you squirted on steve’s bare chest. “fuck” he cursed out and you slowly open your eyes. your jaw drops and a string of apologies fly out your mouth. “shut up… that was the most attractive thing i’ve ever seen.” he says and he looks so fucked out of his mind.

in one swift move, he flips you onto your back. and you can hear his belt jingling. once his belt is off and his pants are discarded, he pulls you up to his chest. “be a good girl.” he mumbles and before you can respond his whole length is shoved into you. a gasp and moan rip through you at the same time.

he pushes you back down, not forgetting to pull your hair so your back is arched though. “y/n, you feel so good around me. God-“ he moans out and even though you didn’t think you could get more turned on you did.

the sounds of skin slapping and mixed moans is music to both you and steve’s ears. “can i cum?” you ask in between moans. steve pulls you back up, hand flying to your clit. “cum. cum all over my dick and claim me.” he mumbles and another orgasm washes over you. a coil in the pit of your stomach snaps, which feels so good.

“you feel so good around me baby.” he whispers in your ear before gently kissing your neck. “i want you to cum again.” he mumbles but your second orgasm had already been building up.

you cum again, this time being better than the last. you squirt on steve’s dick and the moan he releases has you feral. “God, i’m gonna fill you up. have you full of my cum before i leave? maybe i’ll leave and come back with a baby?” he groans and you moan at his words.

his hip still a bit as they slow but they still snap into your ass hard. white ropes of cum filling your walls and you can feel all of it. when he fill you up, he doesn’t pull out. pushing you onto the beed, he mutters“keep it in.” and it sounds like a warning. he pulls out slowly, noticing how swollen your pussy is.

“you’re so perfect.” he says and rubs his finger over your clit. you jolt away and he pouts, “too much? are you too sensitive?” he whispers and you roll onto your back while nodding.

he grabs a blanket and drapes it over your shoulders. before pulling you into his lap. “i’m sorry for yelling. i should’ve told you sooner but i just didn’t wanna because i don’t wanna leave you.” he whispers and kisses the top of your head.

“it’s okay. i overreacted so much, im just scared you’re not gonna come back. i need you.”

[vdlest]

Release

Characters:

Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader

Summary:

Peggy's death brought so much sadness and heartbreak to Steve, so as his friend, you comforted him and made him feel better.

Warning:

Fluff

Mention of Smut (18+)

There he is again. He is once again by himself, watching the sunset, and remembering his late lover, Peggy Carter.

Yes, you're referring to Steve Rogers.

Ever since Agent Peggy Carter passed away, Steve always sat down in front of the lake near the compound and watch the sunset by himself. He will watch it and soon tears will run down his cheeks. He used to be so cheerful and you could always see him smiling from ear to ear, but it all changed when the bad news came to him.

It was already torture for him that he and Peggy won't be able to live their happily ever after because he woke up 70 years late, but it tortures him more knowing that the only woman he loved is now gone and now in heaven, making him realize that the only possibility that they could have their happily ever after is in heaven.

You can't imagine the pain that he's going through, but you want to make him feel that it's not yet the end of the world. He could still be happy, he could still have the happily ever after he wanted to have with Peggy, unfortunately, with another woman. You and the rest of the team are still here for him. Even Tony can't joke around him anymore, not wanting to offend him and his grieving process.

"He's there again, isn't he?" you heard Bucky's voice behind you.

You were standing in front of a big window and from there, you were watching Steve.

Unfortunately, you're not the only person who notices Steve's sudden change of mood and lifestyle. Everyone could see that, especially his best friend, Bucky Barnes. The latter is worried about Steve, but there's nothing he could do to convince his pal when he tried once, but they just ended up fighting. It's a good thing they were able to fix it and it's a good thing that Bucky understands where his best friend is coming from.

But until when? Until when can the people around him continue to understand him?

You nodded, "He's still grieving," you sighed and turned around to face Bucky, "But until when? It's been four months since Agent Carter died, and ever since the day he found out about her demise, he's always been like this. He's not eating properly, he's always in the gym, punching all the poor punching bags, he doesn't even mingle with us, he's always alone, he's---"

"He has always been clueless about your feelings for him," Bucky cut you off, making you frowned in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

Bucky snickered, "Come on, Y/N, I'm not blind and numb. I can see and feel the way you care for him, the way you look at him. And I know it breaks your heart knowing that he's not yet over Peggy and her demise," he said.

You chuckle and shook your head as you walk past him, "I have no idea what you're talking about," you denied.

Before you could walk away from Bucky, he gently grabbed your wrist and stopped you from walking away.

"Y/N, he needs a friend right now, he needs all of us, but I guess, it would be better if you would set your feelings aside first. The last thing I want to happen is for you to get hurt. You're like a sister to me and I don't want you to get hurt by my best friend," Bucky warned you. He let go of your wrist and approached you to tap your shoulder, "It's just a friendly reminder," he said before he walked away.

How could Steve hurt you when you can just adore and want him from afar? Secretly?

You and the rest of the team agreed to give Steve the time he needs to move on, to forget the pain he's going through, but you thought, he also needs someone to be with him on his darkest and lowest points. He needs a friend, and he does need to feel that someone's beside him to help him. But how would he feel it when everyone's letting him be alone all the time?

So you went outside and approached Steve, who is sitting by the lake and just watching the sunset.

"Steve," you cleared your throat as you walk behind him, "You okay here?"

The blonde super soldier nodded but did not utter a single word.

"Do you want to talk? I can listen," you said.

He shook his head and sighed, "I just want to be alone," he coldly said.

He wants to be alone? He's alone all the time. Isn't he tired of being alone all the time?

"Steve," you called him before you sat down beside him and put your hand on his shoulder, "You've been alone for so long now. You don't talk to us. You always avoid us. Steve, you can always talk to us, we're your friends, and we are all here for you."

"Y/N, I appreciate it, but please," he closed his eyes for a second and shook his head, "I want to be alone."

My heart is breaking for you as well, Steve. At least us help you, you said to yourself.

Bucky is right about Steve being clueless about how you feel for him. You've been feeling this way for Steve for years now, and yet, he doesn't notice it. Why? Because his eyes and his heart will always belong to Peggy. It will always be her. But now that she's gone, you're sure that Peggy Carter wants him to be happy as well.

"Do you really think Agent Peggy would want to see you like this?" you asked him. You squeezed his shoulder, "Steve, it's not yet the end of the world. I know it hurts, I know it's hard, but you're still here with us, you're alive. The best thing to do is to continue being strong and living your life to the fullest with us, your friends. We all miss having the cheerful Steve Ro--"

"Well, I don't give a damn about it!" Steve lashes out and stood up as he yelled those words at your face.

It was the first time you saw him yelled at someone like that, and it hurts you because you're the first person who got yelled at by him.

"For Christ's sake, stop talking about Peggy as if you know something about her! You know nothing, Y/N! You never met her. You never knew her, so stop talking about her as if you know her! And don't you dare tell me that it's not yet the end of the world because it is for me! My world ended the moment Peggy died. I'm alive? How can I be alive when I feel like I'm already dead? How can I be alive when my heart died with Peggy? And do you really think I care about you being here with me?!" he asked you, looking at you from head to toe, "Well, no! The only person I care about is now gone! The cheerful Steve Rogers you are talking about is gone, and he'll never come back! And please, if I said I want to be alone, I want to be alone!"

You wanted to tell yourself that you should just understand Steve. He's just going through a lot. But his words are too strong, it is full of hatred, disgust, and pain. How can you not be affected by those words?

"If the only person you care about is now gone, then, give up that shield and leave us," you scoffed and shook your head in disbelief, "I never thought I'd hear you say those words, Steve Grant Rogers. But I was wrong, we were all wrong. We, who believed in you. We're all wrong." You felt your tears running down your cheeks and you immediately wiped them away, "We all cared for you, Steve. We understood your pain. We gave you the space you needed, but we need you too. But did you even care about us? Did you even think about us? Did you even think of your friends to help you cope from this pain? Did you ever thought of them as your family?" you shook your head, "I don't think so."

It has been four months since Peggy died, and ever since that day, you all gave Steve the chance to grieve, to mourn. But hearing the words he just said made you realized that all this time, Steve's mind has always been with Peggy and now that she's gone, Steve has no reason left to live and to fight, not even you and your friends.

"Tony asked us to let you mourn, that we should wait for the time that you'll be ready again, but after hearing what you just said? It seems like we're just waiting for nothing because maybe we mean nothing to you anymore, not even them," you added. "Your world ended when Peggy died? Well, mine just ended a few minutes ago," you gave him a small and meaningless smile.

Steve realized what he just said and did, but before he could even reach for you, you stepped away from him and gave him one last look before you walked away from him.

You run inside the compound, going straight to your room.

You told yourself a million times that you should've just listened to Bucky. But no, you were too hard-headed, you're too stubborn.

»»————----　release　————----««

It has been three days since you asked for vacation leave from Tony. At first, he was hesitant to give you one because he knew that there's something you weren't telling them, but you convinced him that you just really need time off from work.

Of course, you hid what happened from everyone. It's enough that you're the only person who got hurt by Steve's words.

While on vacation, you borrowed one of Tony's vacation houses in Hawaii in exchange for telling him everything once you got back. Well, you had no other choice. You badly needed that vacation, so you promised Tony that you're gonna tell him everything when you come back from Hawaii. Nat wanted to come with you but Tony didn't let her, and you told Nat that you just want to be alone on this vacation.

Today's your second day here in Hawaii and all you do is stay inside the vacation house, swim, watch Netflix, and eat. You came here to forget everything that has happened, to forget every word that Steve uttered to you a few days ago, but every single time you close your eyes, you kept on hearing everything, you kept on seeing how angry he was when he was yelling at you.

How could you forget something that was your first time to witness?

Today, you decided to go for a swim, so you wore your blue bikini and your white see-through cover-up.

You're about to head outside using the back door when you heard a car engine in front of the vacation house. So out of curiosity, you made your way through the front door and check it out.

When you opened the door, you instantly wished you hadn't.

The last person you want to see right now just came out of a black car, wearing a leather jacket, a black shirt on the inside and his hair is all brushed-up, like always. His eyes never left yours the moment he saw you open the front door of the vacation house, and even he's meters away from you, you could sense guilt in his eyes.

Who would wear a leather jacket in Hawaii? None other than Steve Grant Rogers.

He closed the door of the driver's seat without removing his eyes from you.

The first thing that came into your mind when you realized Steve was here is to run back inside the vacation house and lock all the doors to lock him out. But you remembered that he's a super-soldier, he can break that door made of wood with just a few punches. He can climb through those railings and break the window if he wants to.

The next thing you thought about is to run back inside, pack all your stuff, put it inside the car you rented, and leave as fast as you could. But how would you be able to escape him if he's faster than you and flexible than you?

You have no idea what to do, so you ended up doing nothing. You just stand by the door frame, watch Steve walk towards you.

When he stopped in front of you, every word he told you a few days ago echoed in your mind.

The only person I care about is now gone!

And do you really think I care about you being here with me?!

And don't you dare tell me that it's not yet the end of the world because it is for me! My world ended the moment Peggy died.

Upon hearing them all, you turned around and prepared to slam the door in his face, but before you could do it, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you from walking away.

"I came all the way here to apologize," Steve mumbled.

You shook your head, "You just wasted your time then," you told him, "Leave," you commanded him.

You pulled your wrist away from him and went inside as quickly as you can, you pushed the door towards him but his hand intervened and stop you from closing the door. He pushed it back open, so you ended up walking inside the vacation house.

"I'm not gonna leave, Y/N," he followed you up to the second floor of the vacation house, "I talked to Tony and he told me you asked for a vacation leave, so I ended up telling him what I did so I could finally know where you are and to apologize to what I said. Tony almost killed me using his suit, but I'll accept it. I'll accept it because I know I messed up, I know I became a jerk."

"A jerk?!" you stopped from walking and faced him, "You knew you're a jerk?" you scoffed and shook your head, "You're more than a jerk, Steve!"

"I know, that's why I'm here," Steve conceded.

You pushed him away, "Well, I don't need you here!" you yelled.

Maybe if Steve instantly went after you that afternoon you two had a confrontation, maybe, just maybe you'll be able to forgive him in one snap of fingers, but days have passed and all the words he penetrated inside your mind is now in your heart. Your adoration of him made it more hurtful. It stung you more knowing that you wanted to be his for so long.

"I'm not gonna leave. Whatever you do, whatever you say, I'm not gonna leave you until I finally fixed us, until I finally fixed the mistakes I've done. And there's no way on Earth I'm gonna leave you here by yourself," he said.

You scoffed as you cross your arms in front of your chest, "The last time I checked, you said you don't care about us anymore. So why are you here telling me that there's no way you're gonna leave me here?" you chuckled sarcastically, "You're unbelievable, Steve Rogers."

You're about to turn your back on him when he gently pinned you against the wall and put both of his arms around you, making it impossible for you to escape him.

You're now imprisoned by his arms — the arms you once fantasized about being encircled around you as he makes love to you, the arms that will pull you closer to him as he cuddles you. You almost forgot that you're still on your bikini, and the only thing that keeps your body from Steve Rogers' visible eyes is your little see-through cover-up, but if you rip that thin fabric off, your gorgeous body will be feasted by his eyes. God, you can't believe you're thinking of your fantasies about him right now.

"Can you just please listen to me first and let me explain?" he asked you, almost sounding like he's desperate for you to hear him out.

You sighed, "Fine, I'll give you five minutes. After that, if I'm not convinced, you're gonna leave," you countered.

He shook his head, "I'm gonna explain, apologize, but there's no way that I'm gonna leave you here alone."

"Why?" you rolled your eyes.

"Because I said so. It's too dangerous and I lost someone who's very important to me, and there's no way I'm gonna lose another one," he said, referring to you as someone important to him. "So yeah, we're gonna talk. After that, it's either you let me stay or you come with me back home," he said using his commanding voice, that was the voice you wanted to hear from him when he took control of you as he fuck you to oblivion. God, self, stop it!

"We'll see," you replied, "So go on, explain what you want to explain, your time is running."

"Okay," he stood up properly, "I didn't mean the things I said a few days ago. I was grieving, I was mourning, I know those weren't enough excuses about the things I said. My world crumbled into pieces for months now because of Peggy's death, and I don't even know how to pick myself up anymore. There was a point in my life when I just wanted to go after her and like what you said, gave up that shield and go. But there's always something that stops me from doing so, and," he paused for a moment and let out another sigh, "And that's you and the rest of the team."

You wanted to laugh because of what you're hearing from him, but the sincerity of his words and his eyes are stopping you from doing so.

You hate to admit it, but he was already convincing you, he was already getting you, again.

Steve walked a step closer to you, invading some of your personal space, "If only I could just turn back the time and change what happened to us a few days ago, I definitely would, but there's no way I could do that. The only thing I could do right now is to make it up to all of you, especially to you, because if there's one person whom I really hurt the most, it's you," he pondered.

The Steve Rogers in front of you right now is the Steve Rogers you fell for, he's the man you dreamed of having, the man you fantasized about, the man you wished to fall for you. And as much as you hated it, you are falling for him even more right now.

Steve's eyes temporarily left your eyes and moved them to your now bare shoulders, your cover-up were slipping on your shoulder.

You saw the way he stares on your bare shoulder, the way he gulped, and the way he stares back into your eyes. His eyes are now full of fire, full of passion, but you wanted to tell yourself that this isn't the right moment for that thing, especially now that he's clearly still in love with Peggy.

You cleared your throat, "You don't have to make it up to me, just make it up to our friends," you said and avoided his gaze, "You can use the other room downstairs, I'm using the other room here and the other one is locked," you said before turning your back to him.

But for the third time today, he grabbed your wrist and stopped you from walking away. He pinned you against the wall again and claimed your lips without any hesitation, without any question nor any single doubt. He just kissed you and he has no plans of letting you go.

The way he kisses you is nothing compared to the kisses you imagined. His hands traveled from your cheeks to your waist, and you felt that he pulled you closer to him, signaling that he has no real plans of stopping from kissing you.

Your hands grabbed his leather jacket and that's where you pull him even closer.

Suddenly, you remembered that this thing should not happen right now, so you pull away from him, and he gave you a confusing look.

"Steve, this is not right," you mumbled and shifted your eyes to the floor.

He cupped your face, "Just tell me that you don't want this and I'll stop, but I need to tell you that your lips tell me that we should not stop," he said.

A part of you wanted to stop, and Bucky's warning to you echoed in your mind, but your heart tells you otherwise. Your heart wants to have him, your heart tells you that the man you wish to have is now right in front of you.

"I'll kiss you," he cupped your face and rested his forehead against yours, and closes his eyes, "If you really don't want this, slap me, but if something tells you this is right, then let me catch you."

Before you could say something, he claimed your lips and kissed you passionately.

Your mind tells you to push him away and slap him, but your heart made your knees weak, and before you could fall to the ground, Steve carried you in his arms without removing his lips away from yours.

That day, you thought of going for a swim, but you ended up giving yourself to the man you were secretly wanting for so long now.

To be continued...

-v.dl

[laufire]

✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶

I'm going to link a few ones I've been listening to a lot lately ^-^

-Bruce Springsteen's "Cover Me". This whole world is looking out there just trying to score / I've seen enough I ain't gonna see no more / Cover me, wrap your arms around me and cover me / Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me.

-Amaral's “Cómo hablar”. We said goodbye and the years went by / We saw each other again on a Saturday night / Another country, another city, another life / But the same feline gaze / Sometimes I’d kill you / Meanwhile others I want to eat you / Seawater eyes / How to speak / If every part of my mind is yours / If I don’t find the exact word, how to speak / How to tell you you’ve won me bit by bit / You that came here by chance, how to speak.

-Florence + The Machine’s “Over the Love”. Because you’re a hard soul to save / With an ocean in my way / But I’ll get around it, I’ll get around it.

-Lil Nas X’s “TALES OF DOMINICA”. I’ve been living in my lowest, it’s safe to say / Hope my little bit of hope don’t fade away / I’ve been living on an island made from fate / Can’t go running back to home, I can’t face her face.

-Peggy Seeger’s “Invisible Woman”. I strolled down the high street on Sunday / In clown shoes and lace underwear / Did they notice my dance? / Not one single glance / So I guess I can’t have been there. [...] Why should I feel so much less than I am? / There’s so much more of me now / Grey hair, whiskers, wrinkles and such / Dressing for comfort, longing for touch. [...] Like the leaves that fall before winter / Like the day that turns into the night / We may not have a choice / But we still have a voice / The invisible gals love a fight.

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

Sorry, I'm still stuck on this, so I need to rant.

The function of the compass, first and foremost, is to indicate that Peggy is Steve's sweetheart, because he carries her photo around the way soldiers during the war carried photos of their girlfriends/sweethearts in their wallets, lockers, etc. as a morale boost. It shows his intention of building a life with her once the war is over and how he uses that thought to get him through it. This is also why, post-ice, the compass, like their dance, becomes a symbol of everything Steve lost. What was once a hopeful vision of the future to look forward to then became a bitter reminder of what could've been.

There's also the layer of it symbolizing Peggy as a source of guidance and support, which she remained throughout his films. Even after she dies, it's her words through Sharon that strengthen his resolve to not sign the Accords and it's her photo he looks to when he's at one of his his lowest points post-Thanos.

You can't just replace her photo in it with someone else's, no matter who they are or how important they may be to Steve, without completely gutting what the damn thing means. Peggy was one of his biggest sources of support and guidance, especially during the war. Peggy was his sweetheart. Peggy was the only person he wanted to build a life with, a life he always mourned post-ice. Not Bucky. Not Sam. Not Natasha. Not Sharon. And certainly not his mother Sarah. While I'm the first to say how the MCU treated Sarah is utter bullshit, tumbling head over ass into Oedipus valley is not the solution here, people.

Trying to erase Peggy from the compass is just another example of certain groups trying so hard to tear her down or diminish her importance to Steve and I have to wonder if the people who do this stuff realize how insecure it makes them look and how badly it reflects on their preferred ship. Because if your ship was all it's cracked up to be and you truly believed it's as good as you claim, you wouldn't feel a need to tear another ship and character down in order to prop up yours, regardless of whether or not you personally like them/it.

Let me put it to you like this: I'm a huge fan of Dawson's Creek, but I haaaaaaate Dawson Leery. Like with the power of a thousand suns hate. And I also really hate the Dawson/Joey dynamic. Platonic or romantic. Can't stand it. Pacey/Joey forever. Now... does that mean I'd ever claim Dawson isn't an important person to Joey? No! They're childhood best friends and self-proclaimed "soulmates" and trying to deny their history would be an exercise in futility anyway, given how the show and the characters will take any opportunity to remind the audience of it. (Even if my feelings toward it all can best be summed up by Pacey: "And the reverence that you two treat this little saga of yours with, it's enough to make a guy want to puke.") Point being, Dawson's importance to Joey doesn't in any way negate Pacey's massive importance to her. Both can be true and they are.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent. I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. Hopefully this makes some semblance of sense. I just needed to get that off my chest and not only because of the specific post I saw earlier. Fandom's various nonsense about Steve's compass has irked me for a long time.

Oh, Lord, the ridiculousness that just graced my for you page.

Like, I need to sleep, man, and instead I'm contemplating writing a whole ass essay about Steve’s compass, because folks continue to miss the point and purpose so fucking spectacularly.

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝑅𝐸𝑀𝐸𝑀𝐵𝐸𝑅

PART THREE

𝙇𝙊𝙆𝙄 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Bored after staying on Asgard your entire life, you decide to sneak on earth. But what happens when Steve falls irrevocably in love with you, the Queen of Asgard, wife of Loki.

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: yandere, obsession, death, violence, cursing, manipulation. If you find any of this triggering, please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.  

SERIES MASTERLIST || MASTERLIST

“Loki, you are afraid.

You are desperate for validation. You make yourself think you are better than all of us just to avoid yourself from falling into the pit of identity crisis and self-loathing... Loki, you need someone. And I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be your friend.

You are hurt and scared; but that doesn’t give you the right to harm others. Ruling earth won’t prove your worth to Odin, trust me.

Hurting others won’t lessen your own pain!”

Your hands were stretched out; the wind was whipping your hair. Your arm was bleeding due to a cut and you were standing on the very edge of the tower. But those were the least of your concerns.

The battle of New York was in its full force; Steve, Nat, Clint, Thor and Bruce were on the ground, fighting the chitauri. Whole Tony was with you on the tower. Just that he was inside, while you were on the ledge, standing with Loki.

You didn’t like violence at all. Though you were a master in the art of knives. Your forte was talking. You believed in diplomacy and negotiations. Since the moment you had met Loki, you knew it was not him. He wasn’t cruel, he was just lost.

“Loki, you can stop all of this. Please stop this.” You couldn’t take any more bloodshed. You had the feeling of impending doom and your gut was screaming. With what, you didn’t know.

You knew you had an effect on Loki, though you weren’t sure why. He listened to you, unlike the others. And you knew he was considering his choices; you could see it in his eyes. He didn’t want this.

He removed his eyes from you and stared at all the massacre that was taking place. He knew you were right. You were the only one who understood him. Hell, you were the only one who ever even tried to see behind his façade.

He was going to agree, he was going to stop. In a very low voice he agreed, “Okay. But promise me you will be there.” His eyes were brimming with tears. He just wanted to be seen for once. And you, you saw him for who he was, a scared little boy with no place to call home.

You gave him the warmest of your smiles and tried walking closer to him, “I’ll forever be....” but before you could complete, your leg slipped. You went off balance and fell off the ledge.

As you were falling, you saw the expression on Loki’s face, he was worried and scared. “Y/N!” Loki screamed his lungs out. Now you understood why your gut was screaming earlier. You saw as Tony sent his suit for you, but you knew it was too late. The earth was desperately pulling you close to her. Before dying you wished one thing, if you could only see Steve once.

Just as Steve was about to throw his shield, he heard Natasha shout your name. He whipped his head and sight he saw shattered his heart and hitched his breath. Never in his entire life had he wanted to have the ability of flying more than now.

He watched as you fell towards your death. Every moment of it. Your left hand was outstretched as if you wanted to hold on to anything you could get your hands on, just to prevent your fall. But he could do nothing. He couldn’t catch you midair; and he couldn’t prevent your fall in the first place.  

You had loved him at his lowest. He was lost and you had found him. You had saved him from his own sorrow. He loved you more than anything, more than Peggy, more than life itself. But when you needed him to save you, he wasn’t there. And it killed him.  

That day, you weren’t the only one who died.

~~~

Steve couldn’t stop his tears. He wasn’t captain America now; no, he was Steve Rogers. A person who had found love in the most precious lady in the universe, only to lose her and then gain her back as the wife of his nemesis, with no memory of him.

After tony dropped the bomb of your apparent death, everyone teared up. The original avengers were a sobbing mess and the new ones were teary eyed and confused.

“You.... you left me, love. You left me so very alone in this world. And now that you’ve come back; you refuse to know me. When you died, I thought you couldn’t break my heart worse, but I was so so wrong.” Steve’s voiced cracked with grief and heartbreak.

“I... I don’t know what any of you are saying. You see I’m very much alive. And Captain, I’m sorry for your loss, but I assure you that it wasn’t me. It couldn’t possibly be me.” You tried to explain.

“It is you! Your name, your face, your hair, your smile, your powers! You even feel the same. Do you think I’m a fool? Do you think all of us would lie to you? Together?” Steve lost his control at your denial.

“You may be! How do I know you are saying the truth? You all hate me, don’t you? That’s why you are messing with me? If you think this is fun then let me tell you, it is not!” You weren’t going to listen to their mindless rambling.

“You know what? I’ll show you proof. Follow me.” Steve went inside the tower and you followed. Your curiosity was out of control. You needed to know what they were talking about.

It was awkward. All the avengers except Thor were following Steve and no one spoke a word. Thor stayed at the ground and hoped that Loki would come here and clean the mess.

You and a few others went to Steve’s room. There was a vintage trunk at the corner of the room. On the nights when loneliness and guilt ate him, he used to open it and stare at your smiling face.

He took a deep breath and opened it in front of everyone. No one else except Bucky and Nat knew the contents of the box. One by one he took stuff out. There were small stupid gifts you both had given each other. There was a set of your clothes, it was your favorite pair. In a small box, safely tucked were your spectacles. And most importantly there were tons of photos. He took them out as carefully as handling a baby.

As he handed them to you, you sat on the bed with a thud. It was you. There was no mistaking that. The first one was of the seven of you; Tony, Steve, Clint, Bruce, Nat, Thor and you. You couldn’t believe your eyes. As you were done with that photo, you kept it aside and Clint took it in his hands.

“We were the original seven.” Clint said as he eyed the photo of you seven. It was the only one with all the original avengers.

There were so many photos of you and Steve. It was like a relationship timeline. And then there was a photo which caught your eye like no other. In that photo, Steve’s face was covered in whipped cream and he had an adorable expression on his face while you were laughing your ass off while pointing your finger at him.

That photo sent chills down your spine as you had an exact same photo with Loki. He had brought a camera from earth just for you. And on your birthday, he had decided to bake a cake (which he had apparently learnt how to make on earth). He hadn’t allowed any of the chefs to help him that day.

Somehow, in the process, he had messed up and his face was covered in cream; and you being you, didn’t want to let that slip, so you had captured that wonderful moment on the camera; the poses were same too.

Your eyes teared up at that wonderful memory. And at that Steve’s face lit up, he thought you finally remembered him, that the photos brought your memories back. “You remember? You remember us, don’t you? I knew it!” He said cheerfully. You hated to break his glass castle.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. I’m so confused. She looks exactly like me. And shares my name too; but she is not me. I don’t know how...” you could literally feel the sadness in the room.

“What has that bastard done to you? I’ll kill him, I swear to god I won’t let him go! That asshole!” Everyone gulped at the Captain swearing.

For the first time you didn’t take your husband's side. You were terrified and confused. How could it be possible? She had your face, your name and your powers too? Were they right, was Loki the culprit? Before you could think further, a voice came that made everyone turn their heads around.

“I can explain.”

[likea-black-widow-baby]

What Peggy sees in people

I don’t know how to do titles, but the other night I was thinking about what draws Peggy to people; what unites the three people she seems to love and respect the most: Steve, Daniel and Angie. Not necessarily in a romantic sense, just the common thread that links the people Peggy is most drawn to. What I concluded is that Peggy appreciates not that a person has been left untouched by the horrors of the world, but that they’ve seen how terrible the world can be and kept a piece of light within them.

Steve, Mr. Steven Grant “I can do this all day” Rogers has seen how awful the world can be to the underdog. But he kept his determination to be good, his will to fight. The world has kicked him around but he will always stand up and fight back. Peggy is drawn to his unbreakable will and helps him keep fighting when he’s at his lowest. When Steve resigns himself to his performance act in CATFA, accepting that it’s the best and only thing he can do for the war effort, when he doesn’t see the potential to keep fighting in any other way, Peggy asks him, “Are these your only two options?” She reminds him to keep finding ways to fight because that’s what she loves about him.

Daniel is a delicate balance of pragmatic and optimistic in a way that’s subtler than Steve’s gung-ho leadership tactics, but is indicative of the same qualities: worldliness that tempers him, but has been unable to kill his spirit. Peggy loves that Daniel knows how awful the world can be but still wants to be there for people who think it can change. Daniel is a very self-aware person; he knows his limitations, but he knows himself too well to be able to live with himself if he did nothing. He has a will to do good that has remained unbeaten if adjusted to fit his circumstances, which is what draws Peggy to him.

Angie has the same quality, and it’s clear that her perseverance gives Peggy hope. When she talks about her audition in episode 1, Peggy listens attentively and she encourages her whenever she talks about her dreams of being on Broadway. Peggy smiles when talking to Angie more than anyone else in-show, and it’s clear that Angie’s steadfast tenacity inspires her. Angie has seen how crude customers can be, how vindictive casting directors are, and how difficult it is to make it in the city, but she still smiles bright when she’s tipped, still goes to every audition, and knows she can make it if she keeps going. Nothing has been able to dampen her faith or kill that hope that keeps her smiling. She’s inspiring to Peggy in that way.

What’s really interesting is that we see the flip side of this admiration for the unbeatable in Peggy’s relationship with Howard. Their confrontation in episode 4 is based around ulterior motives and lying, and Peggy takes it personally when Howard withholds information from her; to which Howard says “You don’t get to climb the American ladder without picking up some bad habits… the only way to break through that ceiling is to lie, so that’s my natural instinct: to lie.” Peggy doesn’t really have a response to that. She doesn’t know how to handle someone who has faced the world and bent, changed to better suit it, forsaken certain “good” qualities like transparency in order to make it. She doesn’t seem to believe in circumstantial ethics— that is, that the morality of an action is determined by the situation rather than set boundaries of what is right and wrong. In some cases, this can be unfair; to expect people not to change when facing the world. But it’s realistic, and it contributes to Peggy’s complex character in a big way. She loves and admires people who manage to keep hold of their light, and doesn’t understand people who make certain ethical sacrifices.

Just a thought.

[captainjimothycarter]

Steggy + sweater weather

This is not what you wanted OP and I am so so sorry. I don’t know where this came from. This is for @womenarethesequel. They didn’t ask for it, I just saw they wanted Hurt/Comfort and wellllll....

Cue Steve going back to shortly after his death instead of 1949.

--

Peggy’s bottom lip trembled as she picked up the folded sweater from where it laid in the contents of her suitcase. Everything in her life, in Steve’s life, had been combined to one small suitcase with its frayed corners, broken handles, and busted wheels. 

Everything she had left to remember Steve by laid in this suitcase. Things the public would never come to see, things that not even behind closed doors of the SSR will know, and perhaps even the Howling Commandos.

Though, the last one was a huge might.

The only other person who could know, now laid dead too. Having died just weeks ago before Steve’s frozen grave.

This was her first time in Brooklyn, a place she will be forced to call her home, a place she’d never get to know through Steve’s eyes, but through what memories she’s had of him. This is a place that she will make her own because she has to because the world has left her no choice.

If the world has a lesson it wants to teach her, then it’s doing so. She’s been stripped from all those that she holds dear to her heart. From Michael, her brother, having died shortly after her engagement party. Where he was not supposed to be at all, where he broke protocol just to surprise his little sister, and give her the unwanted advice she didn’t know she needed.

Where their last words had been hateful spite between them in a yelling argument that caused him to storm out of the house and never to be seen again. His letter will arrive a week later with his apology and reluctant dedication to her new to-be husband.

A day before the men in suits will arrive, where she will leave behind her wedding dress, and a mother left waiting.

The world has told her she is to hold no lovers, no person close to her heart. They have stripped her of a friend she didn’t know she needed. Of James Barnes, someone who’d never replaced Michael but could be close to her in that sense.

Someone who made her smile despite the world was crashing around them. Reminded her that she too was human and invaded her personal space when she didn’t want a soul near her.

His death had broke that facade in her and the only other person who’d seen past the cracks…

His sweater, the cream-colored, handknitted, aged, and soft sweater, that still lingered with just a hint of his musky, spicy scent laid in her hands. 

The tears burned Peggy’s eyes as she held the sweater to her face and crushed it against her chest, taking in a deep breath of dust and the scent of Steve to calm herself down. 

It will do no good to cry. She’s cried far too much recently, in private of her own quarters, when no one was looking at her. No one except Howard and the few times Phillips had seen her.

She never quite found the words to thank the man when he handed her an unmarked file in their cleanup of the office. Tucked into the contents of the file was something that shouldn’t be there. Steve’s photo.

Colonel Phillip’s way of telling her that he’s sorry for her loss and while he can’t outright say it, he understands loss as much as anyone. 

He’s had a family at one point, she’s learned through his drunken tales. A wife, two sons, a little girl. She doesn’t need to ask what happened to them, Peggy can read it in the lines of his face, the way his eyes will watch a little, blonde girl skip across the street with her mother, the way he plays with the wedding band that he’s never without.

He knows loss as much as either of them, if not more. 

In a way, she’s almost jealous. At least he had time, Steve and her? They’d only just begun.

And it’s selfish that thought, she knows it is. It’s a bitter brew of hatred and guilt that’s always bubbling just under the surface. That’s not her. That’s not who she should be. That’s not who Steve would want her to be.

What would he know? He’s dead.

They’d spent weeks on the Arctic before she was forced to come back to Brooklyn, Howard setting her up in a small flat under his name, promising someone named Jarvis will drop food off every day, while he’s gone until she’s back on her feet.

She almost didn’t take it, but Peggy realized she had no choice. She has no home to her name. Her mother had died at the start of the war, shortly after Michael’s death.

And it’s here, on this brand new bed that Howard had purchased for her, that she realizes she’s alone. 

Utterly and truly alone. 

The sob drags something deep, ugly, and dark inside of her. She doesn’t even feel it escape her lips. She feels it tug on her heart. She feels it shake her chest, the hot tear roll down her face. She cries into Steve’s sweater until she’s out of breath, face blotched red, and tears burning her eyes.

She cries until she can do no more but drag breath after breath, feeling her throat raw and aching, eyes raw from constantly wiping them.

She does the only sensible thing she can do and that’s to pull on Steve’s sweater, stuff the empty suitcase under the bed, and crawl under the covers.

She falls asleep to his scent, to the idea that he’s right there behind her, holding her close, the sound of October’s harsh weather, beating wind and rain against the window.

The days drag on by in a pattern that Peggy doesn’t even notice she’s fallen into. Every morning she wakes up, breakfast is under a tin covering outside her door. Some days its eggs and toast, other days its sausage and pancakes, or a variant of the few meals. She doesn’t eat much, more picks at it, until her appetite still comes back.

She goes to work at the SSR office, keeping her head down, ignoring the jabs, and jars of the fact she worked with Captain America. It’s a temporary office, this one in New Jersey until the one in Brooklyn opens up within the following week.

She’s looking forward to that week, a week of not having to go to work and face the public that’s still mourning Captain America’s loss. They’d never know. They’d never know the true pain that lays inside of her when she hears his name.

She goes to bed every night, wearing his sweater. It’s losing his scent and the terrifying thought fills Peggy of what will she do when it’s gone? There’s no way to get it back.

Half a week into her preparing to move to Brooklyn’s SSR office, Peggy finds herself awake in the middle of the night, after nodding off for a few hours on the couch.

The bed comes to be a place she can’t call home. Too large, too empty, too cold. The couch is comfortable because she can cocoon under a thick blanket, with the dying fire in the fireplace for light.

She’s confused as to what wakes her up, listening to the rain pounding on the window. It’s rained every night this week as if the world is telling her something.

That’s when she hears it, the sound of thunder when there is no lightning. It takes her frazzled brain a second too long to come to the realization that it’s not thunder but someone at her door.

Knocking-in three fast sets, followed by two, then four.

Her heart lurches to her throat.

That was...there was no way, no possible way. He was dead. He was dead and gone and Howard had even returned empty-handed. So how…?

Could her mind be playing tricks on her? Just exhaustion. Had to be a state of exhaustion and even as she thought it, Peggy couldn’t stop herself from touching the doorknob. The person on the other side, that thing is silent. She pressed her ear to the cool frame and nearly falls backward when the knocking starts again.

That’s when she hears it.

“Peggy.” 

This has to be a nightmare caused by her exhaustion. It has to be. Yet it sounds so real. She’d never forgive herself if she didn’t try.

Pulling the gun from the coffee table, Peggy slowly opens the door, the gun aimed at the figure in the doorway. It’s not until lightning streaks the sky that Peggy drops the gun with an audible gasp.

It’s him. It’s Steve.

It’s not her Steve, but it is him.

Her hand shakenly turns on the lamp to give him some light, taking one, two, three steps back until she almost falls over the ottoman and if it wasn’t for Steve’s quick reflexes, she would’ve had a hard ending. He catches her by her waist and uprights her and just as fast as he’s touched her, he lets go and stands with space between them.

Despite she holds no gun, his hands are up and the door behind them has shut. He’s soaked to the bone, she notes. His blonde hair flops in his face, his shirt is soaked through, to the point she can count his abs through his collard shirt. He looks stiff and nervous, the flowers in his hand are the ugliest, water drowned things she’s ever seen.

And yet, they couldn’t be more beautiful.

“I don’t...I don’t understand,” she breathed, lowering her hand from her mouth and trying to steal her emotions. “How-how are you…? Howard said you...he couldn’t…”

“He didn’t,” Steve said calmly and softly like he’s practiced this speech a hundred times over. He sets the flowers down as if it’s a weapon that lays between them and picks up her gun. He hands it back to her and that move alone, if Peggy has had any doubts on if this Steve is her Steve, it shows her that he’s hers.

“It’s a-a long story, Peggy. Can I come in? I promise I will answer every question you have but-but you have to let me finish talking, okay?” 

He’s certainly nervous, he’s stammering but there’s a sense about him, he’s more confident now. She can barely nod before he’s coming closer to her and instinct wise she backs up two steps.

Steve looks hurt, but keeps his distance, giving a timid smile. “I’ll put the kettle on, you sit, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” His face pinches at the expression and Peggy laughs, it’s taunt and tight, but it’s a laugh. “Wrong words, I know. Guess I always put my foot in my mouth around you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Steve’s in an old army issued shirt, his hair now dryer, with a mug of tea in his hands. Hers sits just in front of her, untouched despite Steve followed her rules to a T in making the perfect cuppa.

It’s unnerving how he’s sitting here on the couch, right beside her, and not touching her. That’s not the unnerving part. The unnerving part is that he’s here. Like he fits in this space, like he’s always fitted in here and belonged, and has been here the entire time.

Now that they’re both under better light, Peggy can make Steve out more. There’s graying hair at his temples. His shoulders sag as if he’s carried the weight of the world far one too many times. She can’t explain it but there’s a haunting look in his eyes, one that she’s seen in soldiers and herself, but Steve’s? It’s deeper, harder like he’s had to relive his worst day over and over and over again with no avail. 

Knowing Steve? He’s chosen to do so if it would save any other soul from the pain of having to do so.

“Howard didn’t find me,” Steve speaks up, looking down at the dark liquid in his mug, rather than at her. “I was found...roughly sixty-five or so years after I was frozen. The serum - it helped keep me alive, but it stripped me of all my strength. I had to learn how to function again, how to be a human being. It was like when I first got the serum, but slow instead of all at once. I had to learn how to walk, to often breathe at times, to gain muscle control over my own body. Not-not to mention my appetite, you always knew how hungry I was… I could barely stand to smell good, much less look at it. The exhaustion was the worst part, barely able to hold a conversation without...without passing out…”

Peggy wants to speak, she does. He looks at her as if expecting her to interrupt, but she doesn’t. She just gives him a polite smile to let him know she’s listening. Her hand slowly moves to touch him. Just a gentle tap on his shoulder, prove to herself he’s alive.

“I’m real, Peggy. I know it doesn’t seem like that, but I’m real. I don’t think…” He gives a hollow laugh to only a joke he knows the punchline to. “I don’t think anyone hurting this bad would be dead, but if there is a soul…” 

Out from the inside of his pocket, Steve pulls out the compass. She recognizes it at once, where he’s etched his initials into the backside. SGR. The thing is faded and rusted, the initials almost faded into the rust. When she opens it with shaky fingers, she sees her picture. It’s faded and barely recognizable, but it’s there.

This is her Steve.

She holds the cold compass close to her chest and looks up at him with wide eyes. It’s Steve’s turn to smile this time. 

“You see after they found me, I was able to...join or-or start...hell, I don’t even know anymore...I was with this team called the Avengers…”

And so Steve tells her the tale. This utterly ridiculous tale of how he joined the Avengers, how he leads them into great battle after battle. How they’ve saved the world countless times. How he joined SHIELD and tore it down from the inside out. How Sargeant Barnes is alive and under the product of Hydra. How the team saved the world one last time until they didn’t. Until they lost everyone…

Until Steve lost everyone and bore each and every soul lost as a weight on his shoulders that he was crushing under.

Until he, eventually lost her too…

Until they won it all back. Until time travel was invented until he saw her. Older, fiercer, yet leading Shield as a Director, commanding the men with such fierce abandonment of authority that they had no choice but to do as she says.

Until Steve had realized he still loved her. He’d never stopped. He’d fooled himself into thinking he was content. 

Until the end of the world’s battle came and they’d won so much, yet lost so much more.

Until he returned to her, with a promise of a new life on his tongue, and knowing just where he needs to be.

She wants to yell at him. She wants to even slap him for being late. She wants to run away from him and never return. This isn’t real. This has no way of being real and yet, it is.

It’s such an outrageous tale full of enough details peppered here and there that Peggy is forced to believe. Because it’s from Steve.

Because it’s a man whose so hurt and sickly and he can’t even see it himself. The pain he looks at her like her touch could heal a broken man, if even by an inch.

Peggy’s moving before she can help it. The sweater is off, revealing a slip and she slips it on over his body like she’s dressing a toddler. She kneels between his legs and takes his face in her hands. There are more lines than she remembers. He’s certainly older. This isn’t her Steve and yet, this is the Steve that came back to her.

“I’m not him,” Steve whispers as if reading her mind. “I can never be him again, Peggy. I can understand if you do not want me, but I-”

Her kiss shuts him up before he can put his foot in his mouth. He melts against her in a sense of relief that seems to flood them both. Her, for knowing and proving Steve is real and for Steve, proving that she still loves him.

“You are him. I love you, Steven, rather you are the man who’d gone into the ice or-or came back to me. I love you.” 

She shouldn’t trust him so easily. She should throw every single question at him from the book and make up a few of her own, run him through the wringer, but Peggy doesn’t need to.

Inside, she knows it’s Steve in the way he looks up at her with tears in his eyes and the way he clings to the hand that’s still on his face.

He’s desperate for human contact in a manner that not even he knows. 

“You’re home,” she whispers as their foreheads touch and even now she’s crying. “You came home to me, darling. You came home.”

“I did,” Steve whispers in response, wrapping her in his arms and tucking her face against the soft wool of the sweater. “And I promise I won’t leave again.”

“Good,” Peggy whispers despite the sob as he cradles her against his chest. “Because then I won’t forgive you if you take your sweater from me. It was the only thing - one of the only things I had…”

“I’ll wear them all for you,” Steve whispers, such a ridiculous notion that makes her heart lurch into her throat. Or it could be the fact he’s carrying her to the bedroom. “So you can remember me, if even for a second when we’re separated by just a minute. I’ll never let you be alone nor forget me again.”

Peggy can’t reply as she breathes Steve in. It’s him. The harsh, spicy scent that’s invading her nose, embedding on the sweater. It’s truly Steve and he was finally home.

[captainrogers-thepatriot]

"She didn't know it was an unwilling kiss when she saw that woman kiss me." Steve answered. "Peggy felt hurt by it because she loved me and she knew we had something special. If I saw her kissing someone else I would have been upset. Yes shooting me with the gun was dramatic, but they got to make things that way for movies. One thing that I felt was well shown in the movie. was the fact that Peggy didn't need a men in her life. She didn't need a husband or man to take care of her. She could do that herself. She wasn't looking for love, she just wanted to serve the country. Yet she fell in love with me and she wanted me in her life. I disagree that she was just a love interest, in the movie. In it she helped me to get through hard times and inspired me to be better. When I was a my lowest when I felt like giving up she encouraged me to see my worth. That I was capable of more then what the army thought I could be. That was all in the movie. She helped me through every hurtle. She was the only one who even cared if I lived or died in that machine that made me into Captain America. I mean I'm sure Becky would have cared, if he knew that I had volunteered for the experiment. Plus her level of badassness she was keeping her own amoung the countries strongest men. She punched out a guy who was twice her size. She had Made her way through the ranks of men's of an army full of men. She was the only woman who had a title of command in that army. She trained the men to be fighters and helped them to be the best soldiers they could. fought Red Skull alongside me and none of us ever felt like we had watch out for her. Plus when that dummy grenade was thrown onto the ground, early in the film, she was running towards it too. When everyone just ran away from it. She was willing to lay down her life for everyone just as I was. If that's all not badass I don't know what is."

@nessiesbarnes

"Are you excited for the trip, babe?" Peter asked as he packed up his suitcase. "I think I'm excited for the Taylor Swift concert the most."

They had been living together in their apartment in Massachusetts for over a year, as Peter worked on earning his degree at MIT. It was a small home only one bedroom and one bathroom. They had a small living room area and a tiny kicthen.

[arrthurpendragon]

Self-Care OC Fanfic Reading 3/14/22

I fell asleep during yesterday’s reading sesh. haha. I told y’all I was going to mess up (I just didn’t expect it so soon) But I’m going to list what I read today and encourage you to check ‘em out! (I’m reading for an hour today to make up for yesterday lol)

Harry Potter

Ignorance is Peace by @bluebell-winter

Harry and Mikania Potter never got along, despite being twins. It has nothing to do with Mikania being a Slytherin and Harry being a Gryffindor. The Dursleys mistreated Harry while Mikania was treated like a daughter that they didn't have. However the Triwizard Tournaments puts their slowly mending bond to the ultimate test

Jurassic Park

Don’t Take Peace for Granted by @heresthefanfiction

She's been on the island for two years, and so far, so good. But somewhere, deep inside her, she's known that the geneticists of Jurassic World will go too far. Somewhere inside her, Dr. Grant has known, peace won't last. 

Illusions by @heresthefanfiction

An exploding volcano, a bunch of dinosaurs, a whole host of double crossing businessmen and several thoroughly traumatized survivors. Except this time, they came willingly, with no illusions of peace. What the hell could possibly go wrong?

Living Dangerously by @lizisshortforlizard

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster? A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs. But would they die for it?

Marvel

Sleeping with Other People by: @katiekinswrites & @if-you-onlyknew

Ten years after having a one night stand with Bucky Barnes, Maggie Hastings attends the wedding of Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter where Bucky is the best man. With Maggie being in a relationship and Bucky’s fear of commitment, the two struggle to keep their friendship platonic despite their mutual attraction.

Star Trek

Volte-Face by @starryeyes2000

This is the story of a budding romance told through two missions. Captain Pike recruits a civilian interpreter to assist repairing failed negotiations for a strategic Starfleet base. In a subsequent assignment she is stranded on a war-torn world fleeing enemy territory with a group of orphans. The crews of both Enterprise and Shenzhou work behind the scenes to help the orphans reach safety. This is a story of Spock’s journey. How, for the first time, he must face the almost certainty of losing someone under his command. This is a story of finding a place to belong. For Spock estranged from his family. For the interpreter. It takes place before the Battle of the Binary Stars (or the Destruction of Vulcan.)

Succession

Can’t Make You Happier Now by @nadja-antipaxos

Nearly twenty years ago, Kendall Roy made Nisha Asuri a promise to rule the world with her. The son of a media mogul and the sister of two tech wunderkinds. The most formidable power couple New York has ever seen. That was the deal. So, she did her part. Built her reputation as a ruthless corporate lawyer. Had his children. Stayed with him through the highest highs and lowest lows. She deserves to win not realizing that nothing goes as planned when your partner is Kendall Roy.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

QUEEN’S PARK – NDP MPP Peggy Sattler (London West), Official Opposition NDP Labour critic, has released a statement after the Ford government refused to pass her legislation to provide paid sick days for workers in the province:

“Until we make it possible for every worker in Ontario to stay home if they are sick, we won’t be able to stop the spread of COVID-19. My bill, the Stay Home If You Are Sick Act, guarantees paid sick days for every worker, delivered by their employer so there is no interruption in pay. Workers should not have to lose income if they stay home with symptoms or are waiting for results of a COVID test. For the lowest-waged workers – who are least likely to have paid sick days – losing pay could mean not being able to make the rent or buy groceries. When they get sick, they will go in to work.

On Tuesday, Doug Ford and his MPPs again refused to pass this bill, which we know will save lives by protecting workers and their families. Without paid sick days, we will see more outbreaks, more infections and more avoidable deaths.

That’s why across the province, municipal leaders, physicians, nurses, public health experts, labour leaders, local boards of health, workers and business owners are all calling for provincially legislated paid sick days. It is past time for Ford to listen to the experts and pass this bill.

The Official Opposition NDP will keep fighting for paid sick days. I am bringing my bill for debate in the Ontario legislature again next week, and I am urging the Ford government to start listening and stop blocking this life-saving legislation.”

Tagging: @politicsofcanada @onpoli

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Rebirth

Chapter 4: The Star Spangled Man With A Plan

Summary: As the SSR deals with the aftermath of the attempted theft of the serum by Hydra, Steve finds himself side-lined until he’s offered a golden opportunity to help fight the good fight…but it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be as he quickly finds out.  

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Word Count: 7.5k

A/N:  This series is my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge.  As always, some creative liberties taken.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Star Spangled Rebirth Masterlist  //  Main Masterlist

Chapter 3

“Absolutely not!” Katie blazed her hands on her hips “That is NOT what Erskine was going to do.”

“Well Erskine isn’t here is he, in case it had escaped your notice.” Phillips bit back “And neither is the serum after the last vial of it was smashed out on Brooklyn Pier.”

Steve sighed, his head bowing a little.

“Erskine said that post the transformation, Steve was supposed to be monitored for twenty-four hours before he did any major physical activity.” Katie continued, “Given that, and what just happened, you seriously want to take his blood?”

“She has a point.” Howard stepped in. “Personally, I’m not sure it’s wise. Private Rogers should be given the rest of the day at least under observation as was the original plan, where we can run the physical tests Abe had been planning to do.”  He took a deep breath and bowed his head slightly.

“We owe it to him to do this right.” Katie spoke again, her voice loaded with emotion as she turned her eyes to the Colonel. Phillips gave a little groan, dragging his hand down his face “We can take the samples tomorrow.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Steve spoke, surprising himself with his sudden forthright nature and Katie glanced at him.

“No.” She said simply, turning back to Phillips. Steve’s eyebrows shot up and he turned to look at Howard who was silently chuckling at his sister’s bossy nature. He gave a little shrug of his shoulders, and then his brown eyes turned back to watch as Katie stood looking at Phillips expectantly.

“You know, I’m beginning to rue the day I ever asked you two to join this team.” The Colonel shot, and Steve watched as Katie turned to Howard, smirking. “And wipe that look off of your face right now, Agent.”

“Sir.” She nodded, and then everyone’s attention was taken by Agent Carter as she walked back into the room.

“We have it.” She nodded, “The HYDRA Sub. It’s in the Tech Lab.”

“You wanna wait until tomorrow to work on that too? Perhaps, give that time to recover as well?” Phillips looked at Howard who snorted.

“You know they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” He arched an eyebrow as he looked at Phillips, “But I prefer to think of it as a metric for potential. You’ll be a great man someday, Colonel Phillips.”

Katie’s shoulders began to shake and she turned back towards Steve who was watching the scene play out in front of him, utterly perplexed. He still couldn’t get his head round Katie’s blatant disregard for her Commanding Officer’s authority. Howard, well, he could understand that a little more as he wasn’t in the man’s chain of command but Katie was. And she seriously didn’t seem to give a shit.

“Do we have any more intel on Schmidt?” Phillips turned to Peggy who blinked and looked at him.

“No, Sir. Nothing,” she took a deep breath, “but I think after today it’s safe to say that was another thing Dr. Erskine was correct about. Schmidt clearly has ambitions beyond simply being Hitler’s Chief Scientist. I think we should consider the fact that he’s equally, if not more dangerous.”

At that Steve heard Erskine’s words from the previous night as clear and as loud as if the man were speaking them to him in person. Schmidt must become that superior man.

He cleared his throat a little and felt all eyes in the room turn to him. “I think Agent Carter is right, Sir.” Steve took a deep breath “Last night, Dr Erskine was explaining to me about Schmidt. He said that Schmidt is convinced that there is a great power hidden in the Earth, waiting to be found...”

“So he’s bonkers.” Phillips looked at Steve. “Terrific.”

“You know, we have forces out there fighting the Nazis.” Katie pondered for a moment, “Maybe the SSR needs to concentrate on HYDRA.”

Phillips looked at Katie, “You wanna chase HYDRA?”

She shrugged, “it seems logical to me. A lunatic Schmidt might be, but he clearly has a vast amount of followers that buy into the same rhetoric. That makes them dangerous.”

“And let’s not forget, HYDRA is, or was, Hitler’s deep science department. Now, Steve stopped them from getting the vial of Erskine’s completed formula, but who knows what else they have in their grasp.” Peggy added, “I saw a lot of things when I was under, a lot of things that if perfected could be disastrous. We chose to concentrate on Hitler as he had control of HYDRA. But, if Schmidt is going rogue as we suspect, then I’m afraid Sir,that as Agent Stark suggests, he could prove to be far more dangerous.”

“Just what we need,” Howard groaned, “two enemies to be fighting.”

“Oh pur-lease.” Katie looked at him. “Like you’re doing any actual fighting.”

“Shut up.” Howard glared at her, “You know as well as I do that I was plucked out for this instead of going to the front lines, just like you were.”

“The pair of you can take your squabbles outside.” Phillips looked at them, “I’m done. I need to brief Senator Brandt.” With that he turned to Peggy. “Get onto base and tell them they need to get into the President, inform him of our intentions so that he can approve them. You,” he then looked at Howard, “take a look at that sub, see what we’re dealing with from a technology point of view. As for you,” he looked at Katie, then to Steve, then back again. “take Rogers for whatever observations it was Erskine wanted to do. Then I suggest you all get a good night’s sleep. Back here at Zero-Six Hundred.”

With that he swept from the room leaving the four of them behind. Steve turned to Katie, his arms folded.

“You know, I don’t need a load of tests to tell you I’m fine. In fact, I’m more than fine. I feel, well, I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my life.”

“That maybe, but I’d feel better if you went along with it, please.”

“Oh, she’s serious, Rogers,” Howard smirked, “she said the magic word.”

At that Katie turned to glare at her brother, who held her gaze, his expression not faltering in the slightest. She threw him a positively filthy look before she turned back to Steve and he looked at her as she once more began to speak. “Erskine wanted to make sure that everything was okay, monitor the effects properly at least for twenty-four hours. We have no idea if it’s permanent, what it’s actually doing to you, whether the effects and transformation is still ongoing.”

“Okay, okay.” Steve held his hand up, giving her a nod, “Fine, I’ll submit for monitoring. On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Could someone please find me something to eat?” He looked around, his stomach giving a huge growl at the perfect moment to emphasise his point, “I’ve never been this hungry in my life, and believe me, I’m no stranger to living with an empty stomach.”

**** It turns out that Steve’s appetite had increased exponentially too, which was to be expected considering his metabolism was working far faster than it ever had before. He wolfed down a huge helping of Potato and Hot Dog salad, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, an assortment of vegetables and a huge helping of apple pie. He had no idea where Katie had managed to conjure it from, and frankly he didn’t care either. All he knew was that in that one sitting he’d consumed more food than he usually ate in a day.

The rest of the day was taken up with him being poked and prodded and attached to all sorts of strange machines. Howard explained what each of them was for, but he wasn’t paying much attention. His mind was whirring, finally processing what had happened in the last couple of hours. He had been so sure about what was going to happen post getting the serum, that he’d be shipped out to help in the fight and now he didn’t have a clue where he was going to go, especially if they were now going to refocus their efforts on HYDRA. That said, it was all helping the war effort wasn’t it? HYDRA was a huge threat, if he was able to help take them down in any way, shape or form, then he was ok with that.

One of the doctors and Howard started explaining to him what the serum had done and at that point he tuned in to some of it, picking out the odd phrase like ‘super strength’, ‘increased stamina’, ‘enhanced metabolism’, ‘fast healing’, ‘super-sharp senses’, ‘memory expansion’, ‘logical improvement’. Howard looked at him and explained that as far as he could see, the transformation was complete, and was as permanent as they could hope. But Erskine had said that the serum wasn’t infallible, therefore how long the effects would last into the future they didn’t know. Forty, maybe fifty years or so. Steve wasn’t particularly bothered about that though, by the time that happened he would be well into his sixties or seventies and would he really care then?

Katie arrived back just as the Doctor who had been dealing with him had instructed the nurse to remove the heart monitor form his chest.

“Hi.” She smiled and Steve turned to face her, fulling intending on greeting her back, but before he could, the Doctor made a little noise of surprise.

“What is it?” Howard asked and Steve hastily turned towards them, wondering what was wrong.

“His heart rate just spiked.”

Steve gulped and hastily looked away from Katie as Howard turned to face him. His eyes flicked from Steve, to his sister who was stood in the doorway, a bashful smile on her face but to her credit she held her brother’s gaze as the man gave a groan.

“Seriously?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She mumbled, stepping into the room. “You done treating him like a guinea pig?”

“Hey, you were the one that insisted on the monitoring!” Howard pointed at her.

“Yes, because it was what Abe wanted,” she shrugged, “and I wanted to make sure everything was okay before you guys started stealing his blood like a pack of starving vampires.”

“Well you needn’t panic.” Howard arched an eyebrow. “The transformation seems to be text book. Your Super Soldier is as ready as can be.”

“Fuck you.” Katie shot back, and Howard gave a chuckle as Steve let out a little groan at the man’s teasing.

“That bad an idea huh, dating my sister?” Howard turned to Steve and he flushed immediately.

“That…no, I didn’t say that, I mean, not that we…”

“Ignore him Steve, he’s being a jerk.” Katie rolled her eyes. “And if he knows what’s good for him he’ll shut up before I knock his teeth out.”

“Threat received and understood, Kiddo.” Howard held his hands up as the Doctor bustled around and handed Steve back his t-shirt.

“You can leave now, Captain Rogers, but we would like you to stay here tonight.”

“Why?” Steve frowned as he pulled the SSR logo t-shirt over his head.

“Because I want to monitor your levels at complete rest.” The Doctor smiled. “Humour me, please.”

Steve shrugged as he swung his legs off the bed. “Sure.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to be.

“Your stuff is being brought over from the barracks.” Katie smiled softly. 

“Any idea on where I’ll be going after that?” Steve stood up carefully, taking his time to pull himself up to his new full height.

Katie shrugged. “I suppose it depends on what Colonel Phillips and the President agree. I suspect we’ll head over to London HQ if we’re going after HYDRA in Europe, but we should find out tomorrow morning.”

“So, we have a free evening?” Howard looked at Katie.

“Well, sort of. Unless you want to get a head start on that submarine thing.” She waved her hand at the door.

“I don’t need a head start.” Howard shrugged, somewhat arrogantly, “I’m a genius, I’ll crack it tomorrow.”

Katie rolled her eyes, “You know I really admire your modesty.”

Howard chuckled, “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what I was suggesting was that if we do have a free few hours, how about a drink? I got a bottle of vintage Macallan stashed in my lab.” He paused and Steve watched as his shoulders slumped a little and he took a deep breath before he looked back up at both Steve then to his sister. “Me and Abe had been saving it for tonight."

Katie took a deep breath before she walked over to her brother who wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug, gently kissing the top of her head. Steve looked away for a second, not wanting to intrude on the moment as he watched the doctor and nurse leave the room.

“We should have a toast to him,” Katie spoke, her voice cracking a little as she stepped away from Howard. She turned to Steve and smiled, “he’d have been proud this had worked.”

Steve nodded a little side smile pulling at his mouth as he remembered the banter he and Erskine had shared about the schnapps. With a nod he looked at Katie, the smile spreading further across his face. “He owed me a drink.”

*****

It was a strange night.

The three of them had shared a glass each of the smooth whiskey, which Steve had thoroughly enjoyed. It had tasted so smooth yet crisp. And he wasn’t sure if that was down to the fact it was stupidly expensive and high end, or the fact his taste-buds simply worked better. Howard hadn’t raised the issue of him and Katie again, for which Steve was glad. If he had been asked, he couldn’t say how he would have answered because he wasn’t entirely sure what they were. A casual fling? A hook up? He knew what he wanted it to be, but once again he was brought crashing back to reality. They were in the middle of a war. It was impossible.  

Despite the myriad of thoughts and emotions running through his mind, Steve slept better than he had ever slept in his life. His chest wasn’t bad, he didn’t struggle for breath when he lay down flat meaning that for the first time he could remember he didn’t need to sleep propped up. Yet, on the other hand, he felt like he was waking up every five or ten minutes. The slightest sound or movement made by the various SSR staff nurses and guards milling around the small medical wing of the lab woke him thanks to his now enhanced, fine tuned senses. The Doctors and Howard had assured Steve that whilst it might take a while but once he was used to the heightening of his senses it would start to feel ‘normal’ to him in a way and he would learn to use them and appreciate them.

With a yawn, he cracked his head side to side as he raised it off the pillow. Whilst he didn’t know what time it was thanks to the lack of any natural light in the room, he knew that this time he wasn’t getting back to sleep. He climbed from his bed, stretched and waited for the usual pain to shoot down his back, but nothing. He then stood up, a little too fast and pitched forward before he steadied himself and drew up to his full new height, squaring his now broad shoulders back as he stood tall in his new posture. Again, Howard had told him he would soon learn to adjust his movements to compensate for the fact that he no longer needed to put as much effort into them. No sooner had he done that, a nurse appeared with his breakfast and she was followed by Agent Carter who wished him a good morning and then handed him a formal Army Uniform in his new size. With a soft smile and a thanks, he took it before laying it down on the bed, admiring the green wool and crisp shirt. 

“When you’re ready then we’d like to take the blood samples.” Peggy spoke softly, “but there’s no rush. Take your time.”

“Rather just get it over and done with Ma’am.” Steve said politely and truthfully. The sooner he was done being prodded, poked and stabbed the sooner he could find out what was going on.

With that in mind he ate, washed up, dressed and was ready in half an hour flat. He was led out of the bunk room he’d been sleeping in and down the corridor back to the observation room he’d been in the previous day where he was instructed to roll up his sleeves and lay back as they proceeded to siphon off his blood. When they had one bag full they then hooked him up to another, and then another, the Doctor instructing him to tell them if he felt light headed but Steve had a suspicion that the enhancements to his body would simply enable him to generate more as fast as they took it. That said, by the time the third bag was full he was bored. Peggy seemed to sense it and she turned to the doctor who nodded and instructed everyone that they were done.

“Think you got enough?” Steve asked, somewhat sarcastically.

“Any hope of reproducing the program is locked in your genetic code.” Peggy replied simply, “but without Dr. Erskine, it could take years.”

“He deserved more than this.” Steve replied a little sadly and he meant it. The serum had been Erskine’s life work and now there was nothing to show for it as the last vial of the serum had been smashed on Brooklyn Pier.

“Well, if it could only work once, he’d be proud it was you,” Peggy looked at him.

Steve glanced at her, feeling a little embarrassed at her praise but he didn’t dwell on it and neither did she. Instead, she told him that once he was ready she’d take him down to the main lab were Phillips and Katie were talking to Senator Brandt about the plans for the SSR going forward. Keen to understand, he quickly sorted his shirt out.

He followed Peggy into the lab, his ears picking up the conversation as they entered.

“Speaking modestly, I’m the best mechanical engineer in this country,” Howard shrugged. “But I don’t know what’s inside this thing or how it works.”

“So much for not needing a head start, huh?” Katie teased and Howard glared at her before he turned back to Phillips.

“We’re not even close to this technology.”

“Then who is?” Senator Brandt demanded.

“HYDRA,” Phillips responded simply. “I’m sure you’ve been reading our briefings.”

“I’m on a number of committees, Colonel,” Brandt replied simply, completely unabashed at Phillips tone.

“HYDRA is the Nazi deep science division.” Katie explained

“It’s led by Johann Schmidt,” Peggy picked up, “but he has much bigger ambitions.”

“HYDRA’s practically a cult,” Phillips stated, “they worship Schmidt, they think he’s invincible.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Brandt asked and at that point Steve took a deep breath, finally he was about to find out what he was going to be doing.

“Spoke to the President this morning. As of today the SSR is being re-tasked.”

Katie and Peggy exchanged excited glances and Peggy looked back at Phillips, seeking clarification as she asked, “Colonel?”

“We are taking the fight to HYDRA,” Phillips looked at the woman. “Pack your bags Agent Carter. You too, Agent Stark,” he turned to Katie, “you’re flying to London tonight.”

Steve hesitated for a second, but when Phillips didn’t turn to speak to him and inform him where he was going, he hurried forward a little.

“Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in.”

“You’re an experiment,” Phillips shot back. “You’re going to Alamogordo.”

Steve frowned a little, but then pressed some more, he wasn’t letting this go.

“The serum worked,” his voice rose a little.

“I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough.”

Katie wheeled round to look at Phillips, her face angry, “Oh, come on Sir, that’s-”

“I have put up with your insubordination for long enough. I don’t give a shit what you think, Agent Stark.” Philips snarled, “keep pushing me and so help me God, I will have you taken straight outta this unit and you’ll be back home typing up the Letters of Condolence.”

“But-”

“Enough!” Phillips snapped. “Now I suggest you disappear and pack.”

Katie took a deep breath, an angry noise escaping her throat as she turned and stormed away. Steve watched her go before he opened his mouth to argue some more with Phillips, but the man had already moved away.

They wanted to send him to a fucking research plant? Seriously? This was ridiculous.

“With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point,” Senator Brandt spoke to Steve and he turned to face the man. “I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it.” Brandt turned to his aide. “Paper.” His aide obeyed, showing them the paper in his hand. It was today’s copy of the ‘The New York Examiner’ which bore the headline "Nazis in New York - Mystery Man Saves Child" along with a picture of Steve holding the car door in front of him.

“The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands," Brandt smiled at Steve. “You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab.” Steve felt a surge of hope flood his system as the Senator continued. “Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war?”

“Sir, that’s all I want,” Steve replied honestly.

“Then, congratulations,” The Senator held his hand out for Steve to shake. “You just got promoted.”

**** Steve’s hopes were short lived when Brandt explained what he had in mind - using Steve to boost recruitment and bond sales. But he knew he was getting nowhere with Phillips, so he decided to take the role and could only hope that it would lead to something else. Besides, it was important to gather support. The Forces needed all the financial and recruitment help they could get, and he could play a key part in that.

So Brandt said.

“Hey…”

Steve looked up from where he was packing the few items he’d unpacked from his trunk and looked at Katie.

“Oh, hi.” He said, turning back to his packing.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” she continued and Steve took a deep breath, straightening up.

“Who told you?”

“Good news travel fast, Captain.” She stressed the last word and Steve had to actively stop himself from rolling his eyes. “That’s a pretty good promotion considering you’ve been a soldier all of a week.”

“Yeah, well, it was too good an opportunity to turn down. In fact, it was the only opportunity to turn down.” He watched her as she took a deep breath, opened her mouth, before closing it again. And then Steve really did roll his eyes, “if you’ve got something to say, spit it out, Katie.”

“Hey, don’t get pissy with me,” she snapped back.

“I’m not being-”

“Yes, you are,” she folded her arms. “It’s not my fault Phillips won’t let you in on this. I’ve tried, believe me, but for whatever reason he’s not moving.”

“He’s not moving because he doesn’t like me.” Steve replied simply.

“Well, that’s his loss," Katie countered. “And what’s with the sudden display of self-pity?”

“What?”

“This, moping around, acting all deflated.”

“It’s easy for you to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well you’re off, over there. Fighting the fight but me, well, looks like I’m gonna have to play ball with Senators doesn’t it?”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“Yes, I do!” Steve’s voice rose and Katie blinked a little, but besides that she showed no signs of having registered his angry tone. “What choice do I have?”

“There’s always a choice, Steve.”

“Oh, yeah?” He snorted. “And my choice here is what? Go to the damned White Sands Proving Ground where they can run more tests on me? Keep me locked up like some kind of lab rat?”

“I didn’t say they were always good choices.”

“Well what do you think I should do huh?”

“That’s not for me to say.” Katie shook her head. “But I can tell you one thing....”

“What?”

“That I have faith in you to do what you feel is right, and continue to be the good man I know you are.” Her words were soft but they hit Steve like a freight train and he swallowed, suddenly aware of how down right shitty he’d been. “And if you’re telling me that it feels right that you go where Brandt wants you to go then…” she shrugged. 

“I have to try.” Steve replied.

“Well, in that case, I’ll say what I came to say in the first place," she gave him a soft smile, “good luck.”

Steve took a deep breath and sighed, “Thanks. Look, I’m sorry I snapped. I just, well, truth be told I’m a little jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, all I ever wanted was to be a soldier and to fight on the front lines. Like my dad did, and Bucky.” He sat down on the side of the bed, “And I agreed to this procedure because I thought it was my ticket there, ya know?”

“I get it,” Katie nodded, crossing the room to sit beside him. “And I understand how frustrated you feel, believe me.” He turned to look at her to see her glancing down at her hands before she looked up at a spot on the wall opposite them. “I just can’t say anything to make it better, other than repeat what I said before. I have absolute faith and belief that you’ll do what you think is right. And that’s all any of us can do.”

Steve looked straight in her eyes as they flickered across both of his and he took a deep breath, her words echoing round his mind. Throughout this, she and Erskine had been the two people who had utterly believed he was the best man for the job so to speak. Now Erskine was gone, and he was about to be separated from her as well. And it pained him to think about it, as he realised that he was going to miss her, for more than the simple reason that she’d been a friend to him. 

“You know I’m sorry we met the way we did,” his thoughts blurted out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Katie frowned, “what?”

“No, I err…” Steve sighed and then gave a snort. “Guess the serum didn’t enhance my ability to talk to a dame without completely making a total screw up of it.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Katie smiled, “you do a decent job most of the time.” She paused as Steve gave a little huff of laughter before she turned her body a little more towards him, “what’s on your mind, Soldier?”

“I meant, I’m sorry that we met when we did. And, you know, not sooner.” He shrugged, looking down at his hands, “or maybe even later, when all this is over.”

“If it ever is,” Katie sighed and Steve raised his eyes to hers as she licked her lips a little. “Steve, I’m not sad I met you when I did. Quite the opposite actually. It’s been…” she paused for a moment before she smiled “…a little ray of hope in an otherwise very gloomy world.”

“Hope?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “you know, a reminder that no matter how ugly the world seems or how much it changes, it’s still a beautiful place.”

Steve thought on her words for a second, a soft smile spreading across his face.

“What?” She asked as she noted his expression.

“You just remind me of my mom,” he smiled. “She was always a 'look on the bright side' kind of woman. No matter what life threw at us, she was always reminding me there were people far worse off.”

“She sounds like a smart lady.”

“She was,” Steve smiled with a short nod. “kind, compassionate. Just more ways you remind me of her.”

He didn’t miss the faint flush on Katie’s cheeks as she looked down at her hands and then raised her eyes to look at him, “I’m honoured.”

Steve took a deep breath, “I meant what I said the other night before we, you know.” He swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat felt like a tennis ball. “I like you, more than like you in fact.”

“Kinda sucks we’re about to be separated doesn’t it?” Katie looked at him, her eyes sad and he nodded.

“Yeah.”

“But, I’m a firm believer that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” Katie shrugged and at that Steve gave a scoff. She turned to him, a playful look on her face. “What, you don’t believe in fate?”

“Nope,” he shook his head, “you make your own luck.”

“Right.” A little side smile broke on her mouth, “you did a good job with that when you happened to be at the Expo the same time Erskine was.”

“Lucky coincidence.”

“And what was me getting accosted by a load of rapscallions in Brooklyn?”

“A not-so-lucky for you coincidence.” Steve shrugged.

“You know what the definition of the word coincidence is?”

“Not word for word, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.”

“Sass bag.” Katie nudged him with her elbow and he chuckled, “but you’re right, I am. It’s a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent casual connection.”

“And?”

“Fate is the development of events outside a person’s control.” Katie looked at him, her eyebrow arched, “just as a coincidence is beyond a person’s control. And if fate is what’s gonna happen to you no matter what you do, and coincidence is merely a matter of being in the right place at the right time, then what if you’re in the right place at the right time because it’s simply meant to be.”

Steve looked at her, utterly sideswiped at her sentiment. Whilst he wasn’t sure he agreed, the logic was surely there and the fact she’d laid it so bare, been so open with him knocked him for six. He saw her eyes flicker to his mouth again, and in a sudden surge of confidence he gently moved, taking her face in his hands and pulling her to meet him in a soft, gentle kiss that was loaded with meaning.

“Yup,” she sniffed a little as she pulled away and Steve was both surprised and horrified to see the tears in her eyes as she pressed her forehead to his, their noses bumping a little, “this definitely sucks.”

“Write to me,” he whispered, his thumbs swiping away her tears and she smiled, nodding, before she caught his lips again, this time the kiss was deeper, and Steve had to fight back the groan that was bubbling in his throat as he felt her tongue slide against his. They were interrupted by a loud noise outside and Katie pulled away, dropping her gaze a little before she sighed and stood up.

“Stay safe, Soldier,” she smiled, her hand gently cupping his cheek. “I’d hate for you to come back horrifically disfigured.”

At that Steve snorted, “would it put you off?” He teased, “I didn’t think you were that shallow.”

“I’m not,” she smiled as she made her way to the door. “It’d just be a helluva waste, a face like that.”

With that she was gone and Steve felt his smile fade, the warmth in his chest replaced by a hollow feeling which engulfed his entire body, as the realisation spread across him that he had no idea when he would see her again.

If indeed, at all.

****

November 1943.

 “I already volunteered, how do you think I got here?”

“Nice boots, Tinkerbell…”

“Hey, Captain! Sign this”

The heckling from the assembled crowd rang through Steve’s mind as he sat dejectedly on the side of the stage, the miserable, cold rain matching his mood. His hand moved absentmindedly, shading in the drawing he’d sketched in his book. A very apt sketch of a Circus Monkey on a Unicycle clutching the damned shield he’d been given as part of his costume. It turns out the “battlefield” that Senator Brandt had been referring to was nothing more than a grotesque road show across the US and various other places on the Allied Map encouraging people to buy war bonds.

“The Senator's got a lot of pull up on the hill. You play ball with us, you’ll be leading your own platoon in no time.”

Yeah, a "platoon" of chorus girls and confetti cannons, complete with ‘Adolph’ himself. Steve had knocked him out countless times, and was still no closer to getting in on the real action.

He’d travelled all over the place during the last four months, the tour had been successful, and there was no denying that it was helping the effort in a way. “Bonds buy bullets, bullets kill Nazi’s bing bang boom.” But this wasn’t what he had signed up for. Nor did he believe for one second that this was what Dr. Erskine had in mind for how his serum would be put into use.

He’d made a few propaganda films, all part of the course according to Brandt who had then had the bright idea to send Captain America on the USO tour, to attempt to lift spirits. So here he was in Italy, five miles from the front line, having finally made it overseas as a soldier, only to be stood on a stage in front of the men he should have been fighting alongside, being pelted by rotten fruit and vegetables instead of bullets.

It didn’t help that he knew the SSR were fast ramping up their efforts on HYDRA, having been reassigned to somewhere in mainland Europe, not unlike himself at that point in time. He’d had a few letters from Katie, but he had no idea where she was. She didn’t go into details, which was to be expected, she couldn’t and her mail always reached him through the usual military channels. He’d tried to remain positive in his letters back to her, focussing on nights where had a particularly good show, meeting and greeting his ‘fans’ afterwards, carefully omitting details about the women that now seemed to be throwing themselves at him. Be it in bars, back stage or simply as he emerged from the venues; there was no shortage of ladies vying for his attention. And had he been that way inclined, he could have taken any number of them dancing and then back to wherever he was staying that night, but the fact was he didn’t want to.

Because no matter how pretty or forthcoming the girls were, his mind and heart remained with a certain green eyed agent.

It was ironic, when he thought about it. The Star Spangled Man with a Plan, the song dubbed him, yet Steve felt as if he had never had less of a plan in his life.

“Hello, Steve," a familiar voice spoke in his ear and Steve jerked his head up in surprise and turned, doing a little double take as he looked up at Katie.

“Hi,” he instantly felt his heart rate pick up dramatically in her presence, like it normally did as his eyes laid upon her. She was dressed in standard Army green wool pants that were tailored for a man with wide legs and long length that she tucked in to her well-worn mid-calf boots which were brown leather with lace protection straps and looked as if they had happily trudged through mud and been beaten until they broke in and needed new soles. Her unit issued jacket was the same colour green as her pants, but the harsh canvas material gave a weighted appearance across her shoulders as it was buttoned and zipped it up.  Beneath it, she wore her wool tie and collared shirt, no doubt tucked into her trousers for a crisp clean look.

Steve noted how it was a stark (pun intended) difference to the previous smart pencil skirt and jacketed uniform he had seen her in at the SSR base which Peggy, who stood to her left, was still sporting. But then again, the two women were very different, and knowing Katie as he did, she wasn't one to conform and who knew what she had been up to whilst on the front line.

All it did was serve to make Steve feel even more self-conscious and ridiculous in his own outfit, designed for dancing and prancing around not active combat. 

“What are you doin’ here?” He asked, his eyes flicking to Peggy before they returned to Katie again.

“Officially we’re not here at all,” Peggy smiled. “That was quite a performance.”

Great, they’d seen it. His shoulders slumped at little as he turned away.

“Yeah. Uh… I had to improvise a little bit. Crowds I’m used to are usually more uh, twelve.”

“Probably less full of jerks as well,” Katie snorted and Steve looked at her, his mouth curling into a slight smile as Peggy let out a sigh.

“You know what soldiers are like. Present company excepted of course,” Peggy quickly corrected herself as Steve had cocked any eyebrow at her sweeping assumption, before she turned to the other agent. “I warned you-“

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Katie replied with a roll of her eyes.

Peggy took a deep breath, before she turned back to Steve, swiftly changing the subject. “I understand you’re "America’s New Hope"?

“Bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit,” Steve chanted off, the words flowing out of him the same way they did whenever he spoke to someone about the Roadshow and he grimaced as he realised just what a damned puppet he had become.

“Is that Senator Brandt I hear?” Katie teased and Steve took a deep breath.

“At least he’s got me doin’ this,” Steve felt a sudden need to defend his decision to take the role in the first place, especially after their conversation before he had left. “Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab.”

“And these are your only two options?” Peggy looked at him, nodding to his sketch book which was still open in his lap. “A lab rat or a dancing monkey?”

“You were meant for more than this, you know?” Katie added gently, and Steve looked at her, hesitating as his sarcastic reply died in his throat. Instead he looked away, a little dejected. She was right, he had been meant for more that was the whole point of him taking the serum. But even after he’d been turned into this Super Soldier, been given such power and capability, he still wasn’t enough.

“What?” Katie pressed gently, having noticed his hesitation.

“You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.”

Before either of the women could respond there was the sound of a horn honking which diverted their attention. Steve turned to watch as an ambulance pulled to a halt outside the medical tent. The back doors were flung open and several injured soldiers were pulled out of the back on stretches, nurses and medical staff rushing to help as they disappeared through the drapes of the tents, the walking wounded being helped down and aided as they limped behind.

“They look like they’ve been through hell,” Steve commented, a deep feeling of sadness at the sight of the injured men flooded his chest.

“These men more than most,” Peggy commented and Steve turned to look at her, a little confused as to what she meant.

“Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano,” Katie explained. “Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-oh-seventh. The rest were killed or captured.”

Steve felt his chest tighten, as if someone had trapped it in a vice and his head momentarily span as the meaning of her words sank in.

“The one-oh-seventh?” He breathed out, begging it to be wrong. But Katie simply frowned as she gave a nod.

“What?”

Steve swallowed and looked around before he rose to his feet. “That was Bucky’s unit.” He turned to face her, his voice sounded alien as he almost choked on his words. Katie’s face slid into a look of recognition, her mouth falling open.

“Barnes?” She asked and Steve nodded, as he ran a hand down his face, once more glancing round desperately hoping for Bucky to appear and rip into him for his ridiculous outfit. But he knew that if Bucky had been in that audience, he would have already found him. Which meant that he was either amongst the injured soldiers in the tent or…

“Who’s Barnes?” Peggy asked form behind him.

“Steve’s friend from home,” Katie replied gently as Steve turned back to look at the women.

“I need to check if he’s there,” Steve nodded towards the medical tent.

“Not a good idea,” Peggy cut him off. “You saw their reaction to you before. If you go waltzing in you’re going to upset them.”

“I don’t really care,” Steve spluttered

“Well you should,” Peggy looked at him sternly.

“I have to know if he survived!”

“Okay, look…” Katie took a deep breath, and he tore his eyes away from Peggy who was still glaring at him to look instead at the other woman. “Phillips will have the list of the-“ she hesitated, clearly searching for the best word “-casualties. We can ask him.”

“Phillips is here too?” Steve frowned, although he wasn’t sure why that had surprised him. Decision made, he turned and started running across the camp shooting a, “come on,” over his shoulder as the heavy rain pelted down onto them all.

He busted into the tent, “Colonel Phillips,” and the man looked up, a disgruntled expression spread across his face before he took a deep breath and looked back down at the papers on his desk as Steve strode purposefully towards him.

“Well, if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man with a plan, and what is your plan today?” Phillip’s voice was laced with sarcasm but Steve didn’t care. At the moment he had one thing on his mind, and that was Bucky.

“I need the casualty list from Azzano.”

“You don’t get to give me orders, son.” Phillips snapped, looking up at him once more and Steve ignored his angry tone, his stubbornness showing through as he continued to pres.

“I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th.”

“You two and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy,” Phillips pointed to both Agent Carter and Katie in turn.

“Can’t wait," Katie sassed back and Phillips’ head shot up to look at her as he once more fixed her with a stare that could freeze over hell, but Steve didn’t have time for this.

“Please tell me if he’s alive, Sir. B-A-R…”

“I can spell,” the Colonel stated harshly as he tore his eyes from Katie. He looked at the papers in his hand and with a sigh dropped them to his desk and when he spoke his voice was a little softer. "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry." 

Steve swallowed, a feeling of cold washing over his body as the Colonel's words sank in. It might sound familiar but there was a chance it could be another Barnes. It was a common name, after all, and even if it was Bucky’s name on the letter, he could be missing assumed dead, not actually confirmed dead. Peggy and Katie had told him before that there were still men from the unit trapped behind lines. 

"What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" The words tumbled out of his mouth before he’d really had time to consider them properly.

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war.”

Steve frowned, “but if you know where they are, why not at least…?"

Colonel Phillips stood up, the expression on his face belonged to a man who had just lost his final bit of patience. "They're thirty miles behind the lines, through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save." He moved around the desk to stand in front of Steve, his hands falling to his hips as fixed him with a stern and challenging glare. "But I don't expect you to understand that, because you're a chorus girl."

Steve took a breath, the anger coursing inside him at the dig that Phillips had just made, but before he could say anything, he heard Katie scoff besides him. 

“And who’s fault is that?”

Phillips turned to Katie, his face contorted in anger “You are this close…” he held his thumb and forefinger up a fraction of an inch apart.

Katie’s jaw clenched and her chin tipped up defiantly as she glared back at the man. Steve, having had chance to compose himself slightly now the spoke in an attempt to draw the attention back away from her and onto himself.

“I think I understand just fine.”

“Well then understand it somewhere else.” Phillips turned away. “If I read the posters correctly, you got some place to be in thirty minutes”

As he spoke the last words, Steve took note of the map which lay on the table and he noticed a flag marked with an H which caught his attention. And then, he made his decision.

The Star Spangled Man finally had a plan.

“Yes, sir. I do.”

***** Chapter 5