#Pastor Jen Writing

[willowwind78]

Annabel Lee Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - On the Origin of Species - Charles Darwin

I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars.

              Perching in darkness, peering through a broken window on the third floor of a long-abandoned hotel, his fingers deftly removed a spider from the webbing before him. Gently plucking it from its web where it was obscuring his line if sight, he carefully replaced the eight-legged arachnid onto the crumbling architecture. Rain drizzled through the gloom of the late afternoon sky creating a miserable feeling of dampness that soaked through skin into bone. His eyes focused in on a girl. She huddled within a small group that seemed to believe they were hidden from view amongst the tombstones of the old cemetery. Laughing and giggling they took turns at their game.

              In the center of the group hunched a man buried within the fabric of a black hoodie. His black denims, far too big for his body, were held in place at the thighs by a thick leather belt. Red boxers puffed out between the gap of his hoodie and his pants, reminding the watcher of the back end of a Toco toucan he had once, long ago observed in Uraguay. The orange bill of a ball cap protruding from beneath his hood only enhanced his memory. Perhaps the youth of today were taking their mating rituals from exotic birds. His red bum obviously gave him prominence amongst the groupies as he was the center of attention, the leader of this game.

              The players circled their addiction, eager to shove their cash into the Toco’s hand in exchange for whatever he had to offer. The first contestant was a man aged well beyond his thirty years. His skin was marred with open wounds and blotches of red, matching the veins coursing through his eyes. His nose bent at an unusual angle no doubt suffered at the hand of a player from a previous game. Hair dotted his head in strange tufts as if a drunkard had cut it with a pair of rusty garden shears. The frisson caused him to bounce in anticipatory delight as he shoved a handful of wadded paper into the outstretched fingers of the Toco. In exchange, he was handed a small package. The first contestant skittered away into the darkness: a winner.

              Contestant number two eagerly took his place. She was the reason for the watcher’s stalking tonight. He had been following her for days. Not belonging here, she was new to this game, not quite sure of the rules. Long red hair tumbled in flames down her back. She shivered, poorly dressed for the cold damp weather of the evening. Her shoes, completely impractical, pink straps of leather attached to a high sharp pointed heel. Thin arms wrapped around her stylish designer jacket, her fashion sense prohibiting her from fastening the zipper to hold it in place. What brought her here manifested in her eyes. Streaked with red, slightly swollen, and marred by dark black rings they detracted from her natural beauty. She had not slept in over a week; the dreams were too much for her. The watcher trusted that in her sleep deprived state she would not notice any unusual behavior in the Toco.

              The watcher smiled as her delicate, perfectly, manicured fingers slipped a roll of bills into the Toco’s hand. The Toco grabbed hold of her wrist. The bill of his hat rose causing the girl to let out a small shriek at the sight of his face. There was something wrong with the man’s eyes. Filled with darkness so black they emanated a violet light. It was too late; she had already made her decision. The Toco twisted his wrist, forcing the girl to her knees to prevent her arm from breaking. Using his opposite hand, he deftly produced a syringe filled with white creamy liquid. In one smooth movement, the needle pierced a vein and the plunger was expunged. A hollow sound vociferated from her lips the cold fluid moved up her arm into her shoulder. She pulled free and ran, stumbling as the heels of her impractical shoes plunged deep into the wet soil with each step.

She ran from the cemetery into the darkness as fast as her legs could carry, pausing not for a moment when her leggings tore as her shin made contact with a disheveled headstone. Collapsing at the base of an old knotted oak, she gripped her arm in anguish. She had never felt such pain. She had never felt so alive! Her eyes burned with ecstasy as if the world had suddenly taken on a new form. Everything seemed so clear. She reached out to touch the raindrops. They fell so slowly, as if she could count each one before they hit the ground.

Out of the darkness emerged a man, the watcher. A man more handsome than she had ever seen. He was tall and lean, dressed to kill. His suit perfectly tailored to his form. Her thoughts wandered to who could have tailored such an exquisite masterpiece. The white pin-striping expertly aligned in every seam. She lost herself in her own thoughts; lost in the artistry of the tailoring.

His voice drew her back from hems and inseams. “Would you like to stay here Christina? Live forever in this peace and harmony?” Lifting her head from his suit to his emerald green eyes took more effort than she had expected. The thought of speaking seemed entirely too strenuous an activity so rather than replying she let her head just wobble downward using gravity as its driving force.

Warmth filled her body, emanating from his fingertips, as he lifted her head by her chin. She felt relieved as she did not have the energy to do so herself. “Would you give me your soul freely and openly?” She tried to let her head drop again in a nod but his warm fingers held her chin in place preventing gravity from doing its job. His perfect lips formed a soft kind smile revealing magnificently white teeth. “I am afraid I need you to respond with a definitive answer here dear. A yes or no will suffice. Do you give yourself to me? Freely, without coercion?”

She pulled in a deep breath. The air was filled with the scent of him, musty and alluring, a masculinity that had been lost to centuries past. Bracing her diaphragm, using every ounce of energy left in her, she pushed forth a single word. “Yes.”

There was no pain when his sharp pointed teeth sank into her neck. She relaxed into him allowing the blood to flow from her body. The dreams were gone, she could tell, they would not haunt her nights again. She didn’t need proof, she just knew.

Christina reveled in the peace, her soul trying to cling to it, despite the strength of the pull, yanking her away. Something cold and dark gripped at her, tearing with razor sharp claws. Agony ripped through serenity with a voracious appetite, shredding her soul, until it was nothing but glittering pieces of confetti in the air around her. What had she done? The tiny bits of her spirit drifted to the ground; their light squelched in the damp earth. She had glimpsed heaven only to watch it dissipate before her eyes.

Welcome to my world. I wrote a book many years ago that I never finished. I had dreams that someday I would complete it. This is at least the 3rd or 4th time I rewrote the first chapter. It is nothing but the latest beginning, an invitation, into the life of a woman I have called Annabel Lee, a fictitious version of... me.

[1ovemelikeasailor]

Savior pt.3

Play the song or i stop writing AND KMS

"Sailor Song" -Gigi Perez

Summary: no matter how much Jenna wants to escape her sexuality, she can't, or can she?

Jenna Ortega x Female reader

Check out the other parts for more info!

-

No one's POV:

Wednesday

Y/n walked into her science class sitting by Mason.

"I dread this class." Y/n says to Mason putting her book bag down.

"You and me both." Mason groans. The teacher begins talking, starting the lesson.

About midway through Y/n has to use the bathroom. She raises her hand.

"Can I go to the bathroom miss?" Y/n asks putting her phone into her pocket. The teacher nods, and she's off.

She walks the schools halls to the closest girls bathroom. She eventually gets there walking extra slow so she doesn't have to go back to science so soon.

She pulls out her phone getting into the bathroom. Unconsciously, she walks into a stall going to pee. Just as she was she heard sounds from a few stalls to her right. She puts her phone in her pocket confused. The person sniffles.

Y/n knows whats happening. She has to say something.

"Uh—" She tries thinking of what to say. "Tough day?"

The sniffles stop. It's dead silent, as Y/n waits for a response.

"Something like that." The person responds. Y/n immediately recognizes its Jenna.

She whispers a curse word to herself. She can't be talking to Jenna Ortega. She's not suppose to. She a self centered idiotic bitch. At least—that's what she's suppose to be. Y/n knows she can't just leave her like this.

"You okay, Jen?" Y/n barely says loud enough. Jenna's heart flutters in a weird way from the nickname. She doesn't like it—she's not suppose to like it.

"Don't call me that."

Y/n sighs.

"Got it." Y/n walks out of the restroom forgetting about Jenna.

Jenna doesn't want her help, and it's clear, so why should she keep trying?

-

Thursday

It’s Thursday, which means Jenna has cheer practice.

The cheer practice that was already over about an hour ago.

But still, she waited. She waited in your guys spot.

She could say she waited there for a-bit, but it wasn’t a bit, it was hours. It felt like a-bit to her.

She stayed there for who knows how long. She didn’t even know why she was there—I mean she knew, she just didn’t want to.

She stares at the spot you sat at when she scared you, she smiles a-bit. It immediately drops, rubbing the golden cross necklace on her cold hands.

No. She says to herself. Stop.

She gets up after a few hours of just day dreaming, not looking at anything else but the part of the bleachers she saw.

She looks at her phone seeing missed calls from her mom and dad.

She was in deep shit, for sure.

Jenna got up still looking—she looked for Y/n. She knew she shouldn’t, but she also knew she couldn’t help it.

-

Saturday

Y/n sat there at church, her usual spot. She knew the part of the wooden chair like the back of her hand. Shes sat there for half of her life. That spot, that same exact spot.

Y/n feels the wood, remembering every part. She had explored it countless times she got bored of the pastors speeches. She couldn’t help it.

Jenna sat in her regular seat which was across the seat Y/n sat in. Jenna didn’t look at Y/n at all, trying to keep her promises to God. This isn’t Jenna, this isn’t her at all.

It’s just a phase…, right?

She pays attention to every single word the pastor says—you could say she was the exact opposite of Y/n. She wore a nice white simple white dress going down to her calves. Her mom smiles at the pastor taking every word in.

This was the life she’s suppose to live. A God surrounding life, marrying a man, having kids, staying at home, being a mans service.

…right?

Eventually church gets done after a few hours. Y/n finally stands up stretching, she yawns as well making her mom hit her in the arm. She immediately stops yawning and straightens up.

From afar, Jenna’s watching. She watches as Y/n’s mom hits her arm for being sloppy. She lets out a laugh, smiling. She see’s her roll her eyes at her mom when she has her back turned.

“Jenna?” Natalie calls out to her daughter.

“Yes, mom?” Jenna snaps out of it, looking directly at her mother, as she stands up.

“What’re you smiling at?” She raises her eyebrows “A cute bo?.” Natalie lets out a grin, it makes Jenna’s shoulders fall.

“Oh, uh, no. Just thinking about a moment with the girls.” Jenna responds trying to bypass the moment.

-

Monday

Y/n sat on the highest bleachers, looking over her high-schools football field.

It was after cheer practice, Y/n knew that, but she didn’t care.

Her headphones blasting music as she wrote some stupid essay for her english class.

She looses her attention when she feels a presence sit next to her. She doesn’t have to look or take her headphones out to know who it is.

Jenna doesn’t say anything, just looking at Y/n.

Finally after 3 minutes of Jenna just starring, Y/n takes off her headphones.

“Yes?” Y/n looks at Jenna annoyed.

She doesn’t reply to her, just looks at eyes

Gosh was she in-love with those eyes?

She shouldn’t be, right?

Jenna shrugs, which makes Y/n scoff. She starts packing up her things. She puts her backpack over her shoulder.

Jenna doesn’t want her to leave, she has to do something—

“Wait.” Jenna grabs Y/n’s wrist. It makes Y/n and Jenna look at each other from the contact.

This is weird. Jenna thinks. Its not weird because its suppose to be weird, its weird because it’s not weird. Does that even make sense?

“What, Jenna? Now you want to talk? Last time I remember I was queer kid you felt pity for, right—?”

“Y/n—“ Jenna’s grip tightens. “Im sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jenna. I don’t care.” Y/n pulls her wrist out of Jennas grip and walks away.

Jenna doesn’t chase her. She shouldn’t. Her heart truly wants to run after to her and apologize a million times, but she doesn’t.

She stands there, not budging.

-

Tuesday

“I just walked away from her.” Y/n shrugs telling Jack what happened as they both play games.

“You think…you think she likes you dude?” Jack questions.

“Jenna—no. Not a chance.”

“You sure? Because it sounds like she’s obsessed with you.” Jack points at out.

Y/n does realize it is quite weird what Jenna’s doing. But there has to be another reason for it, not because she likes her.

“Probably some other reason. Every-time I see her she wears a cross, she doesn’t like me—and even if she did, I wouldn’t like her. She’s Jenna Ortega.”

“You’re probably right, but you know, you never know.”

-

Later Tuesday

It was 10pm.

Jenna couldn’t help it, she couldn’t help how she felt. After hours of crying in her bed, and after hours of praying to God, nothing worked. Why was she feeling like this for a girl she barely knew?

Maybe it was because of the two words she said. The two words she said that day when she felt like the world was crashing down on her. To simple words that meant to the world to her, yet she wished you didn’t say them.

Or maybe it wash the way you looked her the eyes while you said. The way your eyes said a million words.

So, here she sat, underneath those damn bleachers at 10pm on a school night.

I mean—what was she doing? Its 10pm. It’s dark, scary, the animals are out.

“So, tough day?” A voice scares the shit out of Jenna

“What the—“ Jenna holds her hand over her heart. It was racing until she saw who said the sentence. She looked at Y/n as she laughed from Jenna being scared. “Not funny.” Jenna cracks a smile.

“You were pretty scared there.” Y/n looks at Jenna still smiling from the moment.

“It’s 10pm, dark and scary. Of course I’d be scared.”

“You’re right, it’s 10pm. What’re you doing here?” She looks at Jenna for an answer.

“Waiting.”

“For?”

Theres a moment of silence. It was Jenna debating in her own head. She couldn’t hide it anymore, at least not from Y/n.

“For..you.” Jenna swallows the big lump in her throat from that answer. Y/n looks at Jenna, then back at the ground. “What’re you doing here?”

“Well, I was just looking.” Y/n clears her throat avoiding Jenna’s eyes.

“Looking for what?”

Y/n doesn’t answer, she stares at her own shoes.

“I was..looking, for you.”

-

[soul-music-is-life]

PLL: Summer School Random Recap Ep 1 & 2

*read at your own risk: THIS HAS SPOILERS*

Tag spoilers if you're going to share.

Just a few of my favorite moments from the first two episodes of PLL: Summer School (PLL: Original Sin, Season 2):

Faran being right all the time:

Ripped out of the headlines. Faran...PREACH, girl. (side note: Sullivan really annoys me. I'm salty AF that she still has a license to practice psychology after not being an adult for the girls in PLL. I get it...A apparently threatened her kid, but woman...YOU ARE THE ADULT!). Also I don't trust her. And I don't like her.

Noa also being right, but in a more blunt manner:

Ah, Noa. Still my favorite. Perhaps it's her characterization or perhaps it's the way Maia portrays her...but I feel like she steals the screen when sharing it and when alone. No surprise given she was my favorite in the first season (still get chills watching that scene with her running through her complex to the roof with A chasing her). But she's upped the game this season. She comes across as so natural in her delivery. Nothing against the others. But sometimes I can tell I'm watching an actor play a character with them, but Maia is Noa. A+. No notes.

Imogen Emison reference?

Wait...wait WAIT...was this an EMISON reference? Am I the ONLY one who saw this?! "Pip gets Estelle in the end." Plus it was an LGBTQ couple who adopted her baby!!

Mouse is coming into her own and I love it:

Mouse and Ash are my OTP. And they play well off of each other.

Calling out the OG PLL:

Was this a shot at PLL and how easily Mona and Charlotte just cruised out when they wanted? Because I love it.

Greg is so not here for this shit:

The first time I laughed so hard I had to pause. Greg is an asshole, but I feel his frustration on the cult shit. And Kelly's "Quiet!" afterwards...peak comedy.

Kelly channeling her inner Alison DiLaurentis:

Oh my GAWD. This was some straight up Dark Alison DiLaurentis on crack shit (or Mona, since..ya know...she ran her best friend over with a car). I'm developing this theory that perhaps Kelly is in on Bloody Mary (goddamn, am I blanking on the Big Bad's name? I think I am). I'm fairly certain her mother and the pastor are evil. I paused when Mouse was reading something on the Spaghetti site and it was word for word worship talking about Bloody Mary being the second coming of Jesus. Also, I just hate religion as a whole. Like Greg, I too, am an atheist.

Mouse's Grandma being the "fun" Grandma:

Okay, so I was super excited that we might have been getting a semi-Grandma Marin character, but after watching I have this awful feeling that this might be a dementia story in the works (I don't know if I believe the "sleepwalking" bit). But she seems like she's going to be a wonderful addition.

Tabby's very pointed reference within a reference:

Tabby out there breaking the 4th wall. And I'm here for it. Given that the writers retconned/rewrote the Ezria adoption due to backlash, I'm kind of glad they read the criticism of Tabby making too many references that piss the viewers off and basically flipped a middle finger at the people who will find positively anything to bitch about. I think it's funny writing. Trolling AF, but still funny.

I hate it when writers cave to the viewers. And as much as I hated the idea of Ezra getting Imogen's baby...I thought it was so dumb to cave to the viewers whining about Ezria getting the kid. People harped on that so much. Ezra can die in a fire for all I care, but I'll go to my grave thinking that the people who complained about Marlene caving to fan service in PLL with the couples in the end are the same people praising the fan service here. And I hate hypocrisy more than I hate fictional characters. I'm a cynic.

Noa being real:

Noa complaining about the fitted sheet was ironic given I was trying to do laundry while watching. Accurate. Side note: I don't know how I feel about this Jen character. I feel like Shawn (Sean? How is it spelled?) is one of the few non-toxic partners in the show (Ash is still bae). I'm all here for bi-representation, but I don't like love triangles and I don't want them fucking with Noa and Shawn/Sean.

And speaking of love interests:

I love this kid and want to protect him:

I've seen buzz of people not trusting Christian...and I get it. First of all...this is PLL. And second of all Christian is a very...themed name for a show that is most likely going to have the faith-based cult be psychopaths.

But I am going to be pissed AF if they make him a bad guy after everything Tabby went through. Also, let's not make the first prominent black male a problem please (not counting the Dollar Store fake Eddie Lamb or Faran's dad, who hasn't really been villainy).

Final thoughts: Goddamn, Sandy ate it hard, bruh. I was kind of excited to see that rivalry between her and Kelly.

Loved seeing the power of speaking up about the sexual assault. HATED Wes still being a character and also telling Tabby to have sympathy for her rapist's mother? No. Sorry. She raised a rapist...who raped TWO girls. And she was victim-shaming Tabby. Where is that Bloody woman with the knife when you need one?

Speaking about someone I hated seeing: Sean's mother is a raging thundercunt.

Also: I've seen mixed thoughts about the couple setting a firm tone with Imogen about the baby, but I'm not going to lie...I get it. Most likely they know the shit going on in their town (move, MOVE NOW WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE!). I do think they were kind of snappy with her, but as viewers we have no idea how often she shows up after having signed a legally binding document about the adoption.

Love interest wise: Don't know how I feel about Ash following the girls to that cabin, but also...why TF would they even GO there?! I like this Christian guy for Tabby. Henry kind of annoyed me crossing Faran's boundaries, but Faran punching Greg out was *chef's kiss*. And Shawn(Sean)/Noa are adorable.

Parents: I'm shifting to Tabby's mom being a favorite just because I think she's going to have the most screen time. It was nice seeing Lea Salonga again though. I still hate Faran's mom and I hate that they are all buddy-buddy after everything she did to her child.

New characters: Please don't let this swim coach turn into a creep, please don't let this swim coach turn into a creep. Also curious about the guy Imogen met at the Ice Cream place. And well...I'm already in love with Christian (but then again I love Noah Alexander Gerry). Jen is a bit wooden. Can't tell if it's the character or actress.

Curious about everyone's thoughts.

Honorable mention I forgot to screenshot and caption:

Mouse: "You're like Linda Hamilton from the Terminator movie. Don't ask me which one, I'm not Tabby. And you (Noa) are basically the Flash." Faran: "Fair." Noa: *shrugs* "Okay."

[walnutmusic]

Announcement Children service log in, new password is: Godissogood

Features Summer Encouragement by Pastor Terrence The Misbehaving Child with Katy and Amy

Books Giveaway and review: Now and Not Yet Review: Respectable Sins Review: Disruptive Witness

Recommendations 30 Pieces of Writing Advice from C.S. Lewis Seeing Reality Is Better than ‘Being Seen’

Schedule: English (Children’s Worship) 7/7 Matt (Ray) 7/14 Bambang (Leslie) 7/21 Ray (Chloe) 7/28 Matt (Robin) 8/4 Ian (Jen) 8/11 Bambang (Matt) 8/18 Ray (Jen) 8/25 Matt (Aaron)

Subscribe Walnut Weekly: New resources from our social media ministry.

[leonbloder]

Would Jesus Be Welcome In Your Church?

During one of my "rabbit hole" explorations on a topic for a sermon recently, I got to reading some quotes by the late Rich Mullins.  

Mullins was an aclaimed Christian musical artist in the late 80s and early 90s, who wrote songs like, "Awesome God," "My Deliverer," "Hold Me Jesus," and "Creed," all of which won multiple awards. 

But Mullins withdrew from the mainstream Contemporary Christian Music industry late in his career, and his music and writing took on a decidedly different kind of tone. 

He was highly critical of what had become of Evangelical Christianity, and was a kind of prophet who began to foresee how the marriage between Evangelicals and right wing politics could lead to a kind of Christianity that didn't seem to follow Jesus. 

Mullins died in a car crash in 1997, and at his memorial Amy Grant described him as the "uneasy conscience of Christian music."  

One of Mullins' prescient quotes about the state of Christianity really resonated with me, and I'd like to share it here: 

Christianity is not about building an absolutely secure little niche in the world where you can live with your perfect little wife and your perfect little children in a beautiful little house where you have no gays or minority groups anywhere near you. Christianity is about learning to love like Jesus loved, and Jesus loved the poor, and Jesus loved the broken-hearted. 

Interestingly, that quote and others like it would have gotten Mullins publicly blackballed by Evangelical Christianity and the Christian music industry if he'd made it in our current culture.  

As it was, in the mid-90s he did receive his fair share of criticism, buy by then he'd already withdrawn fro the limelight. 

I can't imagine the excoriating comments it would have garnered on social media and the internet now---fueled by infuriated Christians who couldn't believe that one of their own would say such a thing.  

Actually, I can imagine it.  Because it's happened a lot in the past few years.  Christian artists like Phil Keaggy, Michelle Branch, Switchfoot, Amy Grant, Lauren Daigle and many more have been "cancelled" by mainstream Christianity for expressing views that call the politics of Evangelicalism into question. 

There are also scores of pastors and authors who have been ostracized, fired, lost speaking engagements, and the like for doing the same.  I'm thinking of people like Rob Bell, Brian McLaren, Jen Hatmaker, Sarah Bessey, and so many more. 

Like Mullins, these artists and creators had the temerity to actually ask why so many Christians seemed to be more in love with politics than with Jesus. Further,  they pushed back against forms of Christianity that excluded more than included.  

And for many of them it cost them their careers. 

Interestingly, Jesus faced cancellation by the religious leaders of his day.  They couldn't believe that he would teach that God's love was extended to everyone, even those outside their circle.  

These religious leaders also were incensed that Jesus took apart the ridiculous nature of their rules, regulations, doctrines and dogmas that actually kept people from drawing closer to God.   

So they constantly tried to discredit Jesus, demean him, catch him out and spread all kinds of lies, innuendo and the like to diminish his influence.  And then when none of that seemed to work, they had him killed. 

I  have to wonder, if Jesus showed up today preaching the very things that we see in the Gospels, would mainstream Christianity call him a heretic, and reject him?  

And how many of us would really be drawn to his words and his teachings, particularly the uncomfortable parts about letting go of our materialism, eschewing power and status, giving ourselves away for the sake of the shalom of God in the world? 

Those of us who call ourselves Jesus-followers ought to think deeply about these kinds of things.  We have an opportunity in this divided and often completely messed-up world we live in to shine the light of Jesus, and to love as Jesus loved. 

Let's not squander that moment because we're too afraid to follow the One we claim to follow.  

May it be so for us all, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all now and forever.  Amen.  

[christianfamilymatters]

The Choice Is Yours

The Choice Is Yours

By Claire Jennings

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! —Philippians 4:4 NLT

I remember watching as my 10-year-old niece attempted a penalty kick in her soccer game. There wasn’t much time left on the clock, and the game was tied 3–3. She jogged a few steps, kicked the ball, and made it just over the goalie’s head. We all screamed and ran around like crazy people! The joy on my niece’s face as things went exactly how she wanted them to go is now a memory our family talks about all the time.

Would that moment have looked different had she missed the goal? Absolutely. Sometimes things don’t go how we hope for them to, or we miss the goals we are aiming for with all our strength. And if we’re honest, joy seems nowhere to be found within those moments.

I once heard a pastor say, “Joy is often the determined choice to praise God.” This tells me that while joy is sometimes felt, more often, joy is a choice. It goes beyond a fleeting feeling in a positive moment. If you were to change the word joy into a verb, it would be the word “rejoice.” As believers, the Bible instructs us to choose to rejoice in the face of difficulty. Our response doesn’t simply “happen” to us; no, we have the divinely appointed ability to choose it.

Sometimes joy comes naturally, but other times we have to muster it up from deep within our souls and spirit. Joy stems from knowing who God is rather than who we are or what is going on around us. I remember telling a friend about an uncomfortable new season I was stepping into and not knowing which direction to pursue. She looked at me with a smile and said, “God is good! Aren’t transitions fun?” I smiled, and she prayed with me. I walked away from that moment, knowing I had desperately needed to hear my friend’s words. Through the power of the Holy Spirit inside of her, she found joy in difficult situations, and she was encouraging me to do the same. My friend taught me how to rejoice even when I felt so unsure about the future. She showed me how to look at my situation and choose joy.

I encourage you to dig deep today. Decide that today truly is the day the Lord has made, and you will rejoice and be glad in it (see Psalm 118:24). Fill in the blank of whatever circumstance you are facing and depend on God for the courage to rejoice in the face of it. The way to do this is by knowing and trusting who God is.

If you are struggling to find joy today, ask the Holy Spirit these questions and then write down the answers you hear:

Who is God?

How much does He love me?

Has He given me the strength to choose joy today?

Ask the Lord to help you, and be prepared to be amazed as you watch Him fill you with supernatural joy from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes.

Prayer

Lord, You are my source of joy. I know You care for me better than anyone else ever could. Thank You that I can always count on You. Help me to lean into the Holy Spirit and experience the joy that You so freely offer–even in moments when I don’t feel it. I know Your plans for me are good, and today I choose joy over the other feelings I am experiencing. I fix my eyes on You, and I rejoice in your faithfulness today! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

For Further Reflection

Find four Scriptures you can reference when you need joy and put them in an accessible place (lock screen on your phone, notecard on your bathroom mirror, etc.). The more you read and recite these verses, the more the truth of God’s Word will bring joy into your heart even when you don’t feel it.

Ask the Lord to help you find joy in the moments you need it each day. Declare joy over yourself, and watch the difference it makes in every area of your life.

[jmreyes9]

A FAREWELL PARTY FOR SEN AND JEN

By Jesse Reyes

A farewell bash we held for Sen and Jen,

To Hinsdale they’ll return, we know not when,

Meistersingers they’re both, they sing so well,

Proud are their parents, Jessie and Ardel. 

Bon Voyage to Sen and Jen Sarmiento, daughters of Pastor Jessie and Ardel Sarmiento of MetroManila, Philippines.  I wrote this 4-liner poem for them, as they continue their US goodwill concert tour in CA and then, I believe, back to the "pearl of the Orient seas, our Eden lost" but don't quote me on this...lol. 

We enjoyed listening to their celestial and mesmerizing music when they, as part of the Philippine Meistersingers gave a miniconcert at Hinsdale Filam Church and also a concert in Willowbrook,IL  May God bless you as you minister to others through music, "the language of the soul."

Thanks to Erick & SusanTicala for taking this lovely picture in the despidida party which they hosted in their beautiful home in Joliet, IL.

From L to R: Yours truly (in Hawaiian shirt--I thought the theme of the party was Hawaiian...lol), Jen Sarmiento, Susan Ticala, host, Evelyn Tacadena, Joy Sering Elizalde Lagundino, Martin Respicio Lagundino Jr. Joshua Roa, Sen Sarmiento and Sheldon Ticala.

Written in Chicago,IL in July 2015. Other writings and poems of Jesse Reyes can be found in his blog: anadventurecalledlife.com. Posted in FB in 2015 and reposted in 2023.

[willowwind78]

Such Sadness

Today is the first day I have had in about a month to check on my Tumblr account. So many nice comments and shares! As I am writing this message, I am down to four queued posts remaining. I am very sad that there will likely be a few days without posts. Apologies if anyone looks forward to them and there is some time where they are missing.

That said... I have 8 Sunday's remaining at my current charge and then I am on an indefinite break! Seminary classes will be done for the semester in 2 weeks! Painting insanity shall return! Story writing shall... I'd say return but it really hasn't gotten off the ground yet. There is light at the end of this tunnel of my life, which has gotten so very dark and dreary. But I shall come out the other side!

Super thrilled about the 2024 UMC General Conference. All praise the delegates who overwhelmingly voted to declare to the world that worship and praise should be open to ALL people! All the people around the world should have voice, vote, and representation at the next General Conference thanks to passing of regionalization (still has to be ratified by annual conferences but looks promising)! ALL people who wish to join their souls before God now can do so! ALL people who wish to follow their call to ministry can now do so!

Never been prouder to be United Methodist. Open hearts, open minds, and open doors. Which means... now I have to consider filing for ordination which will cut into my future painting plans. That's a worry for tomorrow. Today we celebrate!

To my loyal followers, and my new one's, more painting, hopefully even better than before will be available along with any pictures I stumble across of older things I have painted while I try to get my new website up and running dark-hope.com and get my Pastor Jen YouTube channel more functional with my sermons. I'm not disappearing I am just not ahead of the game anymore. Fear not!... in case any of you were. I like to pretend people love me. It's good for my mental health.

Time for a cosmopolitan and work on that final paper so I can get back to engaging in things which bring me joy!

Incidentally, May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Pay attention!

[solatgif]

TGIF: Roundup for March 31, 2023

The SOLA College Writing Cohort is our new writing cohort for college-age students to receive mentorship and training as young Christian writers. Editorial Board member Soojin Park will personally be leading this initiative, and she is very excited at the prospect of nurturing the next generation of Asian American thinkers and writers who will help encourage and edify the Church!

Jesus is the King, but his kingdom is not of this world. He judges the world by his truth, and those who believe belong to him and his kingdom. I prepared a series of Passion Week devotions for you to use leading into Easter: The Jews, the Judge, and the Robber.

This newsletter is one of the many ways you can keep in touch with us. Find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. For more, check out my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group and TGIF Playlist on Spotify. You can reach me on Twitter and Instagram.

Aaron Lee, Editorial Curator

Enter to win this beautiful book! Where can we see God in creation? In Photos From Exile, Nick Minvera shares how Yosemite National Park points him back to the majesty and goodness of God. Read my review. Thanks to Nick Minerva for providing this book for our giveaway, in partnership with my newsletters for @diveindigdeep and FCBC Walnut.

Articles From Around The Web

Steven Lee: Judgment for Pastors: How Shepherds Prepare to Meet Jesus

“Strive to never mislead your people. Make every effort to never distort, undermine, or contradict God’s word.”

Jonathan Chan: Resisting the Impulse of Self-Optimization

In Lent, we realign our identity in Christ and recover our sense of being loved into existence by our Creator.

Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra and Zhang San: Chinese Christians Adapt Under New Restrictions

“It’s not the persecution of the church—that’s been about the same level as before COVID. It’s the persecution of the Christian schools.”

Join us on Substack as we share a series of devotions for the Easter season. These devotions will be sent to your inbox for free, and a fresh way to reflect on Christ’s life, death, and resurrection.

Books, Podcasts, Music, And More

9Marks Podcast: On the CROSS Conference

An interview with Matt Schmucker and Shawn LaCount, the organizers of the Cross Conference.

TGC Podcast: How God’s Daughters Can Create for His Glory

At TGCW21, Sarah Walton, Caroline Cobb, Hunter Beless, Davy Flowers, Ruth Chou Simons, and Jen Wilkin discuss what it looks like to be a creative in this age of technology. Simons encourages us to think of our social media platform as the living room of our home, allowing for a more genuine engagement with our followers, as we treat them as if they were sitting on the couch in front of us.

Aaron Lee: Related Works

Book Reviews: Pastor, Jesus is Enough by Jeremy Writebol, I’m a Christian… Now What? By Aaron Armstrong. Listen to our TGIF playlist on Spotify. Join my Asian American Worship Leaders Facebook group.

Check out the new edition of our SOLA Network Magazine! Download it for free and share it with your friends as a great way to be introduced to the work we do at SOLA Network.

Featured This Week On SOLA Network

Aaron Lee: The Jews, the Judge, and the Robber: A Series of Passion Week Devotions

“Jesus is the King, but his kingdom is not of this world. He judges the world by his truth, and those who believe belong to him and his kingdom.”

Soojin Park: Introducing the SOLA College Writing Cohort

“I am thrilled to announce the launch of a new writing cohort for college-age students to receive mentorship and training as young Christian writers. I will personally be leading this initiative, and I am very excited at the prospect of nurturing the next generation of Asian American thinkers and writers who will help encourage and edify the Church.”

Heidi Wong: Beyond Thirst: Jesus And The Samaritan Woman At The Well

“Jesus wants us to look at him and see that truth is a person. A person we can talk to. A person we can walk through the hills and valleys of life with. A person who can name every one of our flaws and sins, yet still loves us to the skies.”

Faith Chang: She Has Done A Beautiful Thing: How Jesus Uses Our Alabaster Jars

“For the battered and burnt out Christian, weighed down by the impossibility of bringing Jesus a worthy enough offering, Mary’s story reminds us that God is not only a good Giver but a gracious Receiver.”

TGIF: Roundup for March 24, 2023

Don’t Worry About Your Ministry Brand / 6 Ways Churches can Support Foster or Adoptive Families / How to Increase Your Desire for the New Creation

SOLA Network: TGIF Subscription

Get our TGIF installments delivered straight to your inbox for free every Friday. Join today so you never miss out.

General disclaimer: Our link roundups are not endorsements of the positions or lives of the authors.

[walnutjuniors]

Resources Spurgeon the Pastor: Geoffrey Chang helps recover a biblical and theological vision for ministry.

Book Reviews Welcome: Jen Oshman shares about loving your church by making space for everyone. Belong: Barnabas Piper writes on loving your church by reflecting Christ to one another.

Recommendations DesiringGod: Does Technology Help or Hurt Dating? DesiringGod: Single but Not Lonely: Living Well While Unmarried

Schedule 2/5 Observation: Words (Jon) 2/12 Valentine’s Day (Aaron) 2/19 Genres Overview (Jon) 2/26 Genres: OT Narrative (Jon) 3/5 Genres: OT Law (Jon) 3/12 Genres: OT Poetry (Aaron) 3/19 Genres: OT Wisdom (Jon) 3/26 Break for Q and A (Jon) 4/2 Break for Q and A (Jon) 4/9 Genres: NT Gospels (Aaron) 4/16 Genres: NT Epistles (Aaron) 4/23 Genres: NT Eschatology (Jon) 4/30 Genres: NT Eschatology (Jon) 5/7 Practical 5/14 Practical 5/21 Practical 5/28 Practical

Subscribe Walnut Weekly: New resources from our social media ministry.

[bcntbouquet]

Derward relished the shove, as it was a good sign that Tobi had taken the bait.

"Oh, I'll still have plenty to say about monsters... Every time the pastor gives one of us those creepy looks of his... Speaking of which-" He whistles. "Yeah. We'd get more than a look if he knew what we were up to right know... so's I guess we better get to it!"

Shoots up from his seat, makes sure the overhead lights were appropriately low, all candles are lit, blahblahblah.

"There's only two of us, so I think we have to hold both each other's hands. Not sure. Can't be worse than a broken circle, though, right?" He started to grab for Tobias, then stopped, thinking of another thing. "Kinna doin' this off the cuff here, no board... so I guess I'll need one of my hands to take notes. You know, if the dead wanna talk through me."

Jennings' eyes narrowed. "Do you think a ghost can pick up a pencil on it's own? Just giving you options." He set the writing stuff to his left, then placed both his hands, palms up, in front of Tobias.

Continued from here x

Tobias’ face immediately went red hot at the mention of Olivia, and he gave a small shove at Derward's shoulder. “Shut up,” he grumbled, but ended up chuckling a bit.

Sometimes he would forget how—or even why—the two ended up becoming friends, but he was glad that they did. Tobias found him to be quiet like his older brother, but not as standoffish. It was partly how he was so easily able to approach him, unlike the others. Since the beginning, Tobias had greeted Derward with a smile, throwing his arm over his shoulder, and teaching him all the prayers so he wouldn't get into anymore trouble.

Tobias didn't believe in ghosts and ghouls. As religious as he was, he still considered himself to be a logical guy. And all the spooky stories whispered around town were just stories. "Fine, I guess if it shuts you up about monsters," he teased.

@bcntbouquet

[theunboundwriter]

My newest WIP, The Strawberry Killer, is a murder mystery short story and a project for one of my uni classes that I figured I might as well share :)

CW: details of body mutilation, talking with killers and potential suspects, and religious topics.

Started Writing November 18, 2022, expected to be finished around early December.

I just want to say that none of the beliefs reflected in this story are my own, nor are they meant to upset others.

Wattpad Link Here

Synopsis:

There was a body found in Kiplan Lake and she had strawberries for eyes. Detective Dianne Jennings had no idea what to think. She and Detective Gregory were assigned a seemingly impossible case, one where they were unable to identify even the victim. There were no leads to go off of, no way to even begin to profile the killer, much less understand why something like this happened to their unidentified victim. With the string of murders that plagued the curious small town of Beckton, it left everyone scared to leave their homes, and with no way to know if the killer was still out there, it was rightfully so. The only time people were allowed a sense of relief, was on Sundays, where they would crowd into the local church and listen to Pastor Dean's reassurances. The police were doing all they could to hunt down the twisted mind that came up with and carried out such a terrible crime, but every lead the detectives uncovered took them to another dead end and left them with more questions than answers. They had to catch this killer before they fled the area, or before they killed again.

Chapter Links:

Chapter One: Speedy's Diner Chapter Two: The Autopsy Chapter Three: The Missing Posters Chapter Four: The Poem Chapter Five: Thomas Fancott Chapter Six: Jason Adamthwaite Chapter Seven: John Neilson Chapter Eight: The Trophy Chapter Nine: Sunday Chapter Ten: Kiplan Lake Chapter Eleven: The Confession Chapter Twelve: Anger Chapter Thirteen: The Body Chapter Fourteen: Sober Chapter Fifteen: Cameras Chapter Sixteen: Gilbert Clive Chapter Seventeen: The Third Date Chapter Eighteen: Truth

The Clues Explained

Characters: Artbreeder Link Here.

Detective Dianne Jennings // The lead detective working on the case. Detective Brody Gregory // Dianne's partner. Adelaide Montgomery // The deceased.

Michael Williams // The coroner that examined Adelaide's body. Captain Josiah // Chief of Police in Beckton. Jason Adamthwaite // Adelaide's boyfriend. Jetta Nookes // Jason's ex-girlfriend. Pastor Dean // The pastor at Everlasting Faith Church in the small town of Beckton. Gilbert Clive // A devoted member of Pastor Dean's congregation that is open about his beliefs and extreme Christian values. John Nielson // A local hunter often in the woods near where Adelaide's body was found. Otis Tutton // Literary Analysis. Thomas Fancott // A man living in Beckton with past misdemeanors.

[walnutmusic]

Announcement Children service log in, new password is: Godissogood

Features Sunday Tapes: All Creatures of Our God and King, In the Cross Alone I Glory, God is the Strength of My Heart and My Portion Forever, This is My Father’s World, Hym of Heaven Interview: Writing A Letter to the Asian American Church - Our Forthcoming Book by SOLA Network feat. Pastor Hanley

Giveaway Giveaway: Susannah Spurgeon Children's biography, 5 Things to Pray for a Suffering Friend

Recommendations How Viral Success Harms Your Humanity How Creativity Can Fuel Your Worship

Schedule: English (Children’s Worship) 4/14 Bambang (Ray) 4/21 Ray (Jen) 4/28 Matt (Aaron) 5/5 Bambang (Chloe) 5/12 Aaron (Leslie) 5/19 Ray (Danny) 5/26 Matt (Aaron) 6/2 Aaron (Jen) 6/9 Not Bambang 6/16 Ray 6/23 Matt 6/30 Ian (Aaron)

Subscribe Walnut Weekly: New resources from our social media ministry.

[razorsadness]

2020 Book List

An incomplete list of books I read in 2020 (not counting books I started but haven’t finished yet, or books I reread only sections of, or zines), divided into fiction, non-fiction, and poetry categories. Some of these books are hybrid works, in which case I put them into the category I felt they best fit into. An asterisk means it was a reread. I’ve bolded the ones I particularly loved. I’ve also included links to quotations/excerpts from some of them.

Fiction

Shine of the Ever, by Claire Rudy Foster

A Cathedral of Myth and Bone, by Kat Howard

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, by Ocean Vuong

The Mythic Dream, edited by Dominik Parisien and Navah Wolfe

We Had No Rules, by Corinne Manning

The Faery Reel: Tales from the Twilight Realm, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling

The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson

In a Lonely Place, by Dorothy B. Hughes

And I Do Not Forgive You: Stories & Other Revenges, by Amber Sparks

The Necrophiliac, by Gabrielle Wittkop

Before and Afterlives, by Christopher Barzak

Finding Baba Yaga: A Short Novel in Verse, by Jane Yolen

Wild Milk, by Sabrina Orah Mark

Nonfiction

Aim and Wish, by A.L. Staveley

Make It Scream, Make It Burn, by Leslie Jamison

After Confession: Poetry as Autobiography, edited by Kate Sontag and David Graham

The Poem That Changed America: “Howl” Fifty Years Later, edited by Jason Shinder

Boss Broad, by Megan Volpert

Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to a Tribe Called Quest, by Hanif Abdurraqib

A Field Guide to Getting Lost, by Rebecca Solnit*

100 Times: A Memoir of Sexism, by Chavisa Woods

Recollections of My Nonexistence, by Rebecca Solnit

In the Dream House, by Carmen Maria Machado

Erosion: Essays of Undoing, by Terry Tempest Williams

The Thorn Necklace: Healing Through Writing and the Creative Process, by Francesca Lia Block

Tracing the Desire Line: A Memoir in Essays, by Melissa Mathewson

What is the Grass: Walt Whitman in My Life, by Mark Doty

Dancing at the Devil’s Party: Essays on Poetry, Politics, and the Erotic, by Alicia Ostriker

Censorship Now!!, by Ian F. Svenonius

Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency, by Olivia Laing

Madness, Rack, and Honey: Collected Lectures, by Mary Ruefle

The Wet Collection, by Joni Tevis

Black and Blue: The Bruising Passion of Camera Lucida, La Jetee, Sans soleil, and Hiroshima mon amour, by Carol Mavor

In the Blue Pharmacy: Essays on Poetry and Other Transformations, by Marianne Boruch

Jane: A Murder, by Maggie Nelson

Mean, by Myriam Gurba

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer, by Michelle McNamara

Dime-Store Alchemy: The Art of Joseph Cornell, by Charles Simic

Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic, and Power, by Pam Grossman

The Art of Recklessness, by Dean Young

Poetry

An American Sunrise, by Joy Harjo

Stay, by Tanya Olson

Be Recorder, by Carmen Giménez Smith

Soft Targets, by Deborah Landau

No Matter, by Jana Prikryl

The Obliterations, by Matt Hart

Made in Detroit, by Marge Piercy 

Walking Distance, by Debra Allbery

Exploding Chippewas, by Mark Turcotte

Neon Vernacular, by Yusef Komunyakaa

The Jazz Poetry Anthology, edited by Sascha Feinstein and Yusef Komunyakaa

Black Milk, by Tory Dent

A Fortune for Your Disaster, by Hanif Abdurraqib

Witch, by Rebecca Tamás

The Carrying, by Ada Limón

Homie, by Danez Smith

The Wendys, by Allison Benis White

Babel, by Patti Smith*

Alive Together, by Lisel Mueller

Night Sky with Exit Wounds, by Ocean Vuong

Advice from the Lights, by Stephanie Burt

This Is Not a Frank Ocean Cover Album, by Alan Chazaro

Blood on Blood, by Devin Kelly

American Sonnets for My Past and Future Assassin, by Terrance Hayes

Teahouse of the Almighty, by Patricia Smith

Fantasia for the Man in Blue, by Tommye Blount

Louise in Love, by Mary Jo Bang

Come the Slumberless to the Land of Nod, by Traci Brimhall

The Queer Body Anthology, edited by Yes, Poetry

Wolf Face, by Matt Hart

Living Room, by June Jordan

Trickster Feminism, by Anne Waldman

Here is the Sweet Hand, by Francine J. Harris

Dead Girls, by Francesca Lia Block

Inside the Wolf, by Niamh Boyce

I live in the country & other dirty poems, by Arielle Greenberg

The Death Metal Pastorals, by Ryan Patrick Smith

Bestiary of Gall, by Emilia Phillips

Toxicon and Arachne, by Joyelle McSweeney

Blood Box, by Zefyr Lisowski

Indictus, by Natalie Eilbert

This Is Still Life, by Tracy Mishkin

The Time Unraveller’s Travel Journal, by Upfromsumdirt

Love Poems, by Pablo Neruda

Excerpts from a Secret Prophecy, by Joanna Klink

Sorry for Your Troubles, by Pádraig Ó Tuama

Saranac Lake Ghost Poems, by Maurice Kenny

Light-Headed, by Matt Hart

The Tiny Jukebox, by Nate Slawson

Sham City, by Evan Harrison

Modern and Normal, by Karen Solie

My Tall Handsome, by Emily Corwin

When My Brother Was an Aztec, by Natalie Diaz

Guidebooks for the Dead, by Cynthia Cruz

Dandarians, by Lee Ann Roripaugh

Her book, by Éireann Lorsung

44 Poems for You, by Sarah Ruhl

Imaginary Menagerie, by Ailbhe Darcy

The Girl Aquarium, by Jen Campbell

Still Life with Two Dead Peacocks and a Girl, by Diane Seuss*

War of the Foxes, by Richard Siken

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Ghislaine Maxwell scandal explodes 

Page 2: George Clooney was rushed to the hospital after rapidly dropping 28 pounds to play an ailing astronomer in his latest movie The Midnight Sky and the harrowing incident has infuriated worried wife Amal Clooney -- George’s scare came when he was diagnosed with life-threatening pancreatitis days before he was scheduled to start filming on a glacier in Finland -- Amal was unhappy and angry that he put his health on the line for the role and she was also furious because this wasn’t the first time the father of her twins has been in harm’s way and she’s demanding he take better care of himself so he’ll be around to care for his kids 

Page 3: Lori Loughlin’s deluded daughter Olivia Jade Giannulli is clueless over the college admissions scandal that landed her parents in jail and believes her own hype according to a body language expert -- in an interview on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk Olivia claimed she had no idea posing for pictures on a rowing machine to finagle a crew scholarship to the University of Southern California despite never having practiced the sport was deceitful but body language expert Susan Constantine said Olivia doesn’t appear to have any understanding of the consequences of her actions or those of mom Lori and dad Mossimo Giannulli -- after observing Olivia’s confession Constantine said she didn’t notice any deceptive indicators such as pauses in her speech or shrugging of her shoulders however she labeled Olivia completely unequivocally oblivious which she said made it challenging to judge Olivia’s truthfulness 

Page 4: Lonely Diane Keaton is longing for love and she’s turned to former flame Jack Nicholson for help in landing a new guy -- Diane is truly desperate to find a man and she knows if there’s one person who can help her navigate the dating scene after all this time it’s Jack -- the Oscar-winning actress shocked the world when she recently admitted she hasn’t been on a date in 35 years and she made a joke of it but the pandemic has made her realize how lonely she really is -- Diane would never date Jack again but knows he has a lot of eligible friends who would fit her dating profile 

* Dying Olivia Newton-John worries endlessly about her daughter Chloe and made a touching final request of close pal John Travolta: Please take care of Chloe after I’m gone -- Olivia’s concerns for Chloe spiked after she blasted the COVID-19 vaccine on social media writing that natural medicine is the party she belongs to -- Olivia has been battling stage 4 breast cancer while John lost his wife Kelly Preston to the same disease and John loves and admires Olivia for the way she’s battled this disease and she’s given him the hope and encouragement he needs -- now Chloe’s ongoing issues have pushed Olivia to beg John to pledge he’ll be there for her daughter because Chloe has spent over $450,000 on multiple plastic surgeries including breast enhancements and a nose job and lip enhancements and Botox and she’s also battled anorexia and depression which led to bouts with cocaine and alcohol addiction -- Olivia has always been deeply concerned about who would look out for Chloe if she wasn’t around and now that she can see the end is near she asked John to be that person; he never blinked an eye and said of course 

Page 5: Ozzy Osbourne’s frail and feeble appearance has friends fearing for the rocker but he has no plans to abandon a 2022 comeback even if it kills him -- the 72-year-old singer has battled Parkinson’s disease and crippling nerve damage but has vowed he will die onstage -- nobody disputes he has the heart of a lion and it’s great to see him out and about again recording music and talking the good talk but ultimately Ozzy is a very sickly guy who needs to protect himself and not charge around trying to delude himself by living life at a pace that doesn’t make sense anymore 

Page 6: Rattled reality star Kylie Jenner is living in fear after being terrorized by two crazed fans and is now spending $350,000 a month on a 25-person security detail -- Kylie filed court documents seeking a restraining order against Justin Bergquist who allegedly broke into her $36.5 million California home last month 

Page 7: Lonely Ryan Seacrest may have nearly half a billion bucks in the bank but he’d trade in his riches for another shot at love -- he was so devastated by his breakup with on-again off-again galpal Shayna Taylor last summer he fears he may never find a woman to spend the rest of his life with and he now realizes her put his career before his personal life one too many times and may suffer for it forever -- Ryan’s recent health woes have been a wake-up call and forced him to understand the price he’s paying for taking his partners for granted for so long -- Ryan now realizes life is too short to go it alone and it’s finally dawned on him he’s not invincible and not so self-sufficient after all 

* Miley Cyrus’ admission that she’s had a lot of FaceTime sex has left friends and advisers fearing she may be setting herself up for some unwanted exposure -- though Miley explained she’s turned to virtual hookups to avoid physical contact during the pandemic but she’s putting herself at an entirely different kind of risk and she’s setting herself up as a potential victim of revenge porn 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Brooke Burke showed off her toned figure in Malibu, Andrew Garfield looked bored on the NYC set of Tick Tick...Boom!, Busy Philipps cleaning, Audrina Patridge and her daughter Kirra on a Beverly Hills playdate 

Page 11: Guy Fieri is eating up heaps of praise for handing out $500 grants to more than 43,000 restaurant workers across the nation -- he scrambled to raise over $21.5 million in seven weeks to help legions of unemployed restaurant laborers who have suffered financially due to the COVID-19 health and economic crisis -- through his new Restaurant Employee Relief Fund Guy personally buttonholed fat cats at cash-rich corporations such as PepsiCo and Uber Eats and Moet Hennessy USA to make donations -- he shows how he did it and shines a light on the industry’s continuing challenges in Restaurant Hustle 2020 a documentary he produced for the Food Network 

* Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are spreading yuletide cheer with their TV holiday special but they’re more interested in ringing cash registers than Christmas bells -- Garth and Trisha rake in $60 million a year from concert ticket sales and CD purchases and merchandising but the couple saw their cash flow slow during the pandemic -- they lost a bunch of money but they had the unique opportunity to do TV specials and grab a big chunk of it back -- while the $10 million they are pocketing for their TV specials won’t make up for what they would have netted on tour it was a sweet stocking stuffer and they both want to get back on the road and really rake it in but TV has made the wait a lot easier 

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- With Beyonce and Taylor Swift facing off for Song of the Year at the upcoming Grammy Awards producers are scrambling to prevent another Kanye West explosion like what happened in 2009

* Killing off The Talk may be the only hope of saving Drew Barrymore’s tanking talk show

* The Real Housewives of New York are treating the first Black cast member Eboni K. Williams with kid gloves because no one wants to come across as racist 

* Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts (picture) 

Page 13: January Jones’ desperate bid for online attention has pals concerned she may be cracking up -- her red-hot career appears to have cooled since Mad Men ended in 2015 and January is dying to land another plum part like Betty Draper but she’s going about it the wrong way -- she’s been posting sexy bikini pictures and leggy dance numbers on Instagram but that’s not the way to catch the eye of casting directors especially with so few shows in production during the COVID-19 lockdown 

* Caitlyn Jenner has reached out to trans actor Elliot Page offering to be his big sister in an opportunistic PR ploy -- while Caitlyn was one of many trans celebs including Jazz Jennings and Geena Rocero to offer Elliot congratulations and support, Caitlyn viewed the announcement as a new opportunity to leap back into the limelight and she believes that by aligning herself with Elliot she can regain her status as an activist and the symbol of transgender rights in Hollywood -- Elliot is happy to listen to Caitlyn’s advice but he’s been navigating his gender issues for years and doesn’t need guidance and he’s not going to be rude but he doesn’t need the help 

Page 14: Crime 

Page 15: A never-before-heard audio recording is of iconic soul singer James Brown’s wish to leave his $100 million fortune to educate poor children -- in the garbled 1999 recording the singer who died suddenly in 2006 called the creation of his I Feel Good foundation his lasting legacy but his precious foundation has not seen a dime because his fortune has remained tied up in court since his death which is the subject of an investigation by the Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney’s office after allegations surfaced that Brown might have been poisoned by someone after his money 

Page 16: American Life 

Page 17: What Shocked and Rocked in 2020 -- the best scoops and stories of the year 

Page 25: Fired Hillsong Church pastor Carl Lentz was so starstruck by his celebrity parishioners he believed he was a star himself and his ego fueled his shocking fall from grace and now he’s getting mental health treatment after being accused of cheating on his wife and getting sacked for moral failures -- Carl tended the trendy megachurch’s New York City flock and regularly rubbed shoulders with celebs including NBA star Kevin Durant and singer Selena Gomez and even once invited Justin Bieber to live with him before being booted by bigwigs but now he’s said to be getting help at an outpatient facility specializing in depression and pastoral burnout but cunning Carl may have made the move simply to revamp his wrecked reputation 

Page 26: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are heading to couples therapy in a desperate bid to stay together because their marriage is hanging by a thread -- the pair are at each other’s throats as they struggle to adjust to their new life in America -- Harry’s gone from being excited about the move to feeling tortured and it’s like he swapped his royal prison in Britain for a new hell in a $14 million California mansion and he fears he’s made a terrible mistake but Meghan’s ordering him to man up and grab this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make millions away from the monarchy’s suffocating shadow -- the fighting came to a head before the holidays when Harry was feeling especially homesick and guilty about abandoning his family especially his brother Prince William and his grandmother Queen Elizabeth -- adding to their troubles Meghan seems hellbent on staying in the public eye during the pandemic and she masterminded their personal video calls to charities in London and the U.S. and the secret deliveries of meals to the needy but then she made them public and the truth is it’s The Meghan Show now and Harry’s just the side act 

Page 27: A charming Chinese spy bedded two Midwestern mayors and courted other clueless politicians to weasel her way into U.S. government circles -- Chinese national Christina Fang also known as Fang Fang, reportedly entered the U.S. as a college student in 2011 

Page 31: Candice Bergen moaned that at the age of 74 she’s a wreck and that she has a wattle -- Candice admitted to having her eyes done while filming the Murphy Brown reboot because they were very hooded and as for today she knows she should have injections because she has deep lines along her lip but she can’t take the pain 

* Rachael Ray lost her New York home to a blazing inferno but her holidays were salvaged by the warmth of community spirit -- following the devastating fire she and her husband moved into the property’s guesthouse and in a clip on The Rachael Ray Show the emotional host showed off her festively decorated digs and gushed she didn’t know where she’d be without friends and a community and people so dear to her that helped her bring Christmas to life even when you’re not at home 

Page 32: Health Watch -- blood test predicts Alzheimer’s 

Page 34: Longtime lovebirds Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell are hoping to make a movie with their whole family -- the star-studded cast would include Goldie’s kids Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson and the couple’s son Wyatt Russell -- as for filming with the entire gang Goldie gushed that they have thought about it and she’d love to do something with her kids and the grandchildren too 

* Hollywood Hookups -- Kristin Cavallari and Jeff Dye heating up, Malik Beasley and Larsa Pippen dating but Malik’s wife Montana Yao filed for divorce, Chrishell Stause and Keo Motsepe dating 

Page 36: Infamous Hollywood hotel Chateau Marmont has a storied history of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll ever since it opened its doors in 1929 and nearly a century later it hasn’t been tamed -- even during the pandemic the majestic hotel is wild with drunks, overdoses and luckily averted suicide attempts and according to 911 records the debauched celebrity haunt is filled with people having breakdowns -- the Chateau’s crazy days and nights are legendary: it’s where John Belushi died in one of the bungalows in 1982 from a deadly cocaine-heroin concoction 

Page 38: One of the most iconic images from the James Bond films which is a handgun used by Sean Connery in Dr. No has sold for $256,000 at auction in Beverly Hills -- the gun is a deactivated semi-automatic Walther PP pistol -- the winning bidder who asked to remain anonymous is an American who’s seen every James Bond film with his children -- a helmet created for Tom Cruise in Top Gun also sold at the auction for $108,000 while a sword used by Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction sold for $35,200 

* Dolly Parton has one major thing left on her bucket list which is she wants to see Beyonce sing Jolene one of the country star’s signature songs -- Jolene has been recorded more than any other song Dolly has ever written but that isn’t enough for her because she also wants to see it updated by one of the top female stars of a new generation -- it has been recorded worldwide over 400 times in lots of different languages but nobody’s ever had a really big hit record on it and Dolly always hoped somebody might do it someday by someone like Beyonce 

* Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has wrestled his way into the alcohol market with his own tequila brand and lifted it into first place as the most successful spirit launch in history and he’s even on track to double George Clooney’s first-year launch -- Dwayne is expected to move more than 300,000 cases of small-batch Teremana Tequila in its first year of trading 

Page 40: Smitten singer Rihanna has fallen hard for A$AP Rocky but friends fear the playboy rapper will leave her broken-hearted -- Rocky is a charming guy but he also has a love ‘em and leave ‘em reputation and everyone’s concerned she’s more into him than he is into her -- Rihanna’s desperate to meet a man she can see herself with for the rest of her life and she believes Rocky might be the one but everybody thinks she’s rushing into things with Rocky -- Rocky is not interested in a long-term romance and Rihanna shouldn’t be thinking of this as more than a port in the storm 

* Lizzo is livin’ large and she’s showing every inch of her jiggles and folds on TikTok -- the body-positivity enthusiast wore a white bikini for an all-angles video in which she amply demonstrated the tricks models and celebs use to look slimmer -- she bared her belly and back and legs and sometimes jiggled her thighs or grabbed a hunk of herself to prove there’s more to luscious ladies than meets the eye and wrote, “Wild to see the body positive movement come so far. Proud of the big girls who gave it wings.” 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- The Crown stars -- Claire Foy, Emma Corrin, Gillian Anderson, Vanessa Kirby, Erin Doherty 

Page 47: Odd List -- baseball fan Darren Johnson hatched an unusual idea for his new chicken coop making it a model of Houston’s former Eighth Wonder of the World The Astrodome

[liskantope]

I’ve just reread my collection of political articles written by H. L. Mencken, in the book A Carnival of Buncombe: Writings on Politics. These articles span early 1920 to late 1936, over five presidential elections.

Below are a few of the passages I found the most interesting, as a glimpse into American political culture during this period (although Mencken is overtly snobbish and somewhat bigoted -- far from an objective observer -- and seems remarkably obtuse about some pretty obvious things).

[This turned out long-ish. For me, the most interesting passage is the last one I quoted actually, although I’m not really sure if any of my followers would be that interested in any of it and this is for my own note-keeping as much as anything else.

After living abroad for a while, I’ve become increasingly interested in what is unique about American culture and common American mentalities, and it’s interesting to see the following musing from a century ago:

It seems to me that this fear of ideas is a peculiarly democratic phenomenon, and that it is nowhere so horribly apparent as in the United States, perhaps the nearest approach to an actual democracy yet seen in the world. It was Americans who invented the curious doctrine that there is a body of doctrine in every department of thought that every good citizen is in duty bound to accept and cherish; it was Americans who invented the right-thinker. The fundamental concept, of course, was not original. The theologians embraced it centuries ago, and continue to embrace it to this day. It appeared on the political side in the Middle Ages, and survived in Russia into our time. But it is only in the United States that it has been extended to all departments of thought. It is only here that any novel idea, in any field of human relations, carries with it a burden of obnoxiousness, and is instantly challenged as mysteriously immoral by the great masses of right-thinking men. It is only here, so far as I have been able to make out, that there is a right way and a wrong way to think about the beverages one drinks with one’s meals, and the way children ought to be taught in the schools, and the manner in which foreign alliances should be negotiated, and what ought to be done about the Bolsheviki.

- from “Bayard vs. Lionheart”, July 26th, 1920

On President Harding’s inaugural address (this, like many other things, makes me wonder what Mencken would have made of Trump):

I rise to pay my small tribute to Dr. Harding. Setting aside a college professor or two and half a dozen dipsomaniacal newspaper reporters, he takes the first place in my Valhalla of literati. That is to say, he writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean-soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm (I was about to write abscess!) of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of post. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

- from “Gamlielese”, March 7th, 1921

At the risk of being redundant, here is Mencken’s comment on the lack of defined policy differences between the two major parties as they existed in 1923:

Both [major political parties] have lost their old vitality, all their old reality; neither, as it stands today, is anything more than a huge and clumsy machine for cadging jobs. They do not carry living principles into their successive campaigns; they simply grab up anything that seems likely to make votes. The old distinctions between them have all faded out, and are now almost indiscernible. The Democrats are just as hot for centralization as the Republicans, and just as friendly towards a protective tariff; they stand together on the money question; there is no choice between them on the question of foreign policy; they are both wet and both dry.

The only reality that remains is their division on sectional lines. In the South the morons still vote the straight Democratic ticket. But even this brand begins to wear off. We have seen Maryland and Tennessee take to the fence; we have even seen some wobbling in Virginia and Texas. The time may come, and it may be soon, when the solid South will fall to pieces. Out of the wreck, I venture to believe, a new alignment of parties will come, and it will be based, not upon outworn traditions and shibboleths, but upon genuine differences of opinion. What those differences of opinion will be I do not risk prophecying, but it would not surprise me at all if one great party advocated the inspection and control of bootleggers by rigid Federal legislation, and the other, clinging to the tattered remains of local self-government, advocated licensing them by the commune.

- from “Next Year’s Struggle”, June 11th, 1923

Mencken’s (rather lofty and prejudiced) perception of cultural differences between rural and urban America and how they play into differing attitudes towards Prohibition (the Volstead Act):

Prohibition is essentially a yokel idea. It mirrors alike the farmer’s fear of himself and his envy of city men. Unable to drink at all without making a hog of himself, he naturally hates those who can. When a city man goes on a grand drunk, the police take charge of him humanely and he is restrained from doing any great damage. The worst that happens to him is that his wife beats him and he loses his job. But when a farmer succumbs to the jug his unmilked cows burst, his hogs and chickens starve, his pastor denounces him as an atheist (or even an Episcopalian), and he is ruined. Thus he favors Prohibition, especially if he is given to heavy drinking -- first because he hopes it will protect him against himself, and secondly because it harasses his superior and enemy, the city man...

I have never encountered a genuine city man, not obviously balmy, who was in favor of Prohibition. There seems to be something in the urban mentality that rebels against such imbecilities. Perhaps the fact is to be ascribed to familiarity with the police. The yokel, seeing policemen very seldom, retains a considerable fear of them, and a high respect for the laws behind them. But the city man takes the cops lightly, and the laws with them. He has no respect for laws as such; he respects them when they are useful and plausible. Such grotesque concoctions as the Volstead Act he knows to be neither.

The yokel’s answer to this sniffishness is that the city man is a scoundrel, and ought to be kept under restraint. His opposition to Prohibition, as the hedge pastors argue, is due to a consuming love of rum. But that argument quickly runs aground on the fact that the city man, despite the Eighteenth Amendment, still has all the rum he can consume. For he is not only contumacious; he is also ingenious, and knows how to beat laws that he dislikes. So the yokels and their spiritual advisers have to fall back on the doctrine that Prohibition is ordained of God, and is hence binding upon every good citizen, regardless of his private convictions. But the city man simply laughs at that. He observes that the chief agents of revelation are Methodist bishops, and that he has heard too much balderdash from them to have any confidence in them.

- from “Real Issues at Last”, July 23rd, 1928

Commentary on Herbert Hoover’s character just before his election, as I provided it in the comments section under the (very interesting) SSC post on Hoover:

The contrast [Al Smith] makes with his opponent is really appalling. Hoover stands at the opposite pole. He is a man of sharp intelligence, well schooled and familiar with the ways of the world, and more than once, in difficult situations, he has shown a shrewd competence, but where is character ought to be there is almost a blank. He is the perfect self-seeker, pushing and unconscionable; it is hard to imagine him balking at anything to get on. His principles are so vague that even his intimates seem unable to put them into words. He is an American who came within an inch of being an Englishman, a Republican who came within an inch of being a Democrat, a dry who came within an inch of being a wet. He is what is today because it has paid him well so far, and promises to pay still better hereafter.

- from “Al in the Free State”, October 29th, 1928

Now Mencken’s attempts to predict the results of the elections of 1932, in which he demonstrates how oblivious he was to the effects of the Great Depression on public sentiment:

That Dr. Hoover will be renominated by his party next year is as nearly certain as anything human can be, and that he will be reelected at the ensuing plebiscite is highly probable.

- from “The Hoover Bust”, May 18th, 1931

Barring acts of God of a revolting and unprecedented character, Mr. Hoover is almost as sure of reelection next year as he was of election in 1928... [Mencken argues in terms of several states that Hoover might lose but won’t need anyway.]

All this should be plain to anyone able to add and subtract. It is as obvious as that 2 and 2 equal 4.

- from “Hoover in 1932″, July 27th, 1931

Right before the election, Mencken finally recognized that Hoover was going to lose but seems to emphasize almost every other complaint against Hoover (particularly his acting on the wrong side of the Prohibition question) over his failure to cure the Depression:

My guess is that the thing which really finished the right hon. gentleman was his singularly disingenuous and unconvincing dealing with Prohibition.

- from “Pre-Mortem”, October 24th, 1932

I’ll end with the passage I found maybe the most interesting. Mencken had identified as a Democrat and enthusiastically voted Democrat in 1928 and 1932 (although he didn’t support the Democratic candidates in 1920 and 1924 and loathed the legendary Democrat William Jennings Bryan). But well before the end of FDR’s first term, he had turned against the president’s new-dealing ways. Here is an excerpt from his article on the eve of FDR’s reelection:

Nevertheless, and in spite of all Hell’s angels, I shall vote for the Hon. Mr. Landon tomorrow. To a lifelong Democrat, of course, it will be something of a wrench. But it seems to me that the choice is one that genuine Democrats are almost bound to make. On the one side are all the basic principles of their party, handed down from its first days and tried over and over again in the fires of experience; on the other side is a gallimaufry of transparent quackeries, puerile in theory and dangerous in practice. To vote Democratic this year it is necessary, by an unhappy irony, to vote for a Republican. But to vote with the party is to vote for a gang of mountebacks who are no more Democrats than a turkey buzzard is to an archangel.

This exchange of principles, with the party labels unchanged, is naturally confusing, abut it is certainly not so confusing that it goes unpenetrated. Plenty of Republicans who believe sincerely in a strong Federal Government are going to vote tomorrow for the Hon. Mr. Roosevelt, and plenty of Democrats who believe sincerely in the autonomy of the States and a rigid limitation of the Federal power are going to vote, as I shall, for the Hon. Mr. Landon. Whether the shift that confronts us will be be permanent remains to be seen. But while it lasts it is manifestly very real, and those who let party loyalties blind them to its reality will be voting very foolishly.

This is particularly interesting to me because it reflects an interpretation of the history of our political parties often claimed by Democrats: “The two parties switched places.” I’ve always been a little impatient with the simplistic way this is put (although of course it’s nowhere near as bad as Republicans, including the president, who love to imply that theirs is still the party of Lincoln out of one side of their mouths while idolizing Andrew Jackson, the founder of the Democratic party, out of the other). It’s not as though the parties one day just up and decided they wanted to switch names or switch positions. Mencken himself had pointed out in the early 20′s, in one of the passages I quoted further above, that there was little differentiating the two parties at the time apart from the demographic and geographic subgroups of Americans who formed their respective bases. Moreover, the Democratic party had been displaying somewhat of a fiscally progressive streak in the past few decades, arguably starting with William Jennings Bryan in 1896. (Although to be fair, the Republican party flirted with progressivism in a very big way thanks to Theodore Roosevelt, and none of this earlier progressivism looked that much like the revolution FDR was waging anyway.)

That said, if one had to point to a single turning point in history for Democrats and Republicans which played the greatest role in directing them towards where they are today, the early 30′s with FDR’s New Deal is probably the most reasonable choice, and Mencken’s above contemporary commentary is evidence supporting this.