#Party Plan Software

[alhadaftech]

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[presidentalpaca]

hello from corporate america 🇺🇸

[crest-of-gautier]

pq posting before i go to bed! a shorter session (3 hours) but it was nice and i'm happy to say that i finished you in wonderland!

THIS WAS SO FUNNY... honestly i don't think i give enough credit to akihiko and mitsuru's dynamic they're literally so good i really enjoy how well they know each other but also they're like.. a constant in each other's life and i do enjoy their interactions a lot even if i never vocalize it...

wow yosuke, who would've thought that you two are partners, this guy literally introduced himself as your wife /s (i kinda regret naming souji yosuke wifey but im glad i wrote the y in lowercase bc otherwise i wouldn't be able to tell their dialogue apart 💀

and finally, yosuke <3

some more elaborate thoughts (aka speculation) under the cut because i learned my lesson from last time

ok unfortunately i can't say that im going to go AS INSANE as i did last time when i was spitballing in the tags for the second pq posting just because i feel like i aired out most of my "AAAA WHO IS ZEN AND REI??" there but.

i do have to say that i'm very glad i'm at the point where p3 and p4's casts are able to interact! i can't tell if it's because the writing feels like it shines a little bit better here rather than the solo casts (sometimes i roll my eyes at how junpei and akihiko are with some of the traits the writers play up), or if it's because i'm a guy who's very endeared by crossovers and interactions from characters who didn't exist in the original source material.

i had a lot of times where i was writing things down in my notes software during the crossover segments and im just?? really endeared and creatively inspired by it, to be honest. i really like this aspect of pq.

i think something that catches my interest with zen and rei at the moment is the difference in how they're.. regaining their memories. like... it's interesting to me that zen is able to get some of his memories back from the stuffed rabbit marked with "niko," but rei doesn't. i don't really know how much i can speculate off of this atm (i feel like this is something i'd get more info on when i progress through the second labyrinth, or it's something i'm missing out on because i can't use intertextuality to piece things together. i dont know shit about alice in wonderland.)

like it does make me think that maybe these two are like.. separate entities in that respect (rather than a shared one? but i could be wrong, and i welcome that!). but also there's something that makes my brain go "AAA" about how adamant zen is about wanting to protect rei despite not having any memories, because my brains like "WELL WHAT IF ZEN'S TRUE IDENTITIES AND MEMORIES ARE ACTUALLY THE OPPOSITE, AND DON'T WANT GOOD THINGS FOR REI." poorly phrased but like, it's about the irony, y'know.

i have no fucking clue what rei is supposed to be if we're going under the notion that they're two different things that have lost their memory (she is so head empty only food and its precious tbh). but like my brain just thinks that zen is just... going to end up being some awful incarnation or something like idk. there's something about persona characters with amnesia that make me raise my eyebrow... like just look at ryoji and marie and teddie...

and i guess as another thought on the matter, the way zen and rei work mechanically speaking does make me ponder a bit because like.. obviously, yeah, they can't equip a subpersona because they're... GESTURES. not persona users but FUCK, the way zen and rei have very distinct skillsets just make me wonder if those can allude to what they symbolize. like zen's skills are much more.. destructive and im just like (AIGIS VOICE) "YOU ARE DANGEROUS."

anyways. i am very much invested in the identities of zen and rei but i am also glad that the crossover stuff is here too because i think the sillies will keep me inspired... and also im just happy to see yosuke... i really like yosuke even if i forget that i do a lot of the time..

last thought, after seeing souji talk and move, i think i'd definitely want to look into p4 side... because um. 🥴 i'm really simple guy. i need more minato in my life. (everyone rolls their eyes. i'm predictable!) i want to see minato move and talk. i want to think about him. he's my boyfriend. he's my wife. he's my universe. im being so cringe about him but I DONT THINK THIS IS A SURPRISE TO ANYONE... i like him a lot (NO SHIT, LIZZ). but!!! idk if this'll be something that i watch or play, it depends on what the NG+ functionality in this game is like...

anyway gn!! thanks for reading my delusions im very much enjoying this game and im happy to be playin git.

[masquerading-as-a-genius]

Loving the spirit of this but rather than simply letting third parties copy whatever thing I'd much rather that these things specifically become public goods.

Relying on private individuals to upload and maintain media with no accountability is annoying and also what got us into this mess. Luckily, we Have institutions in place already to do this - Libraries are Right There. Let them run a database of online movies, books, and other such things that are no longer available for whatever reason. Not only is it free, its safe, and accessible, and not likely to be shut down out of the blue.

law idea: products that are not currently and will not be purchasable from the parent company for the foreseeable future are not counted as "copywritten" in regard to the sharing, reproduction, and other "piracy" claims in court of law.

if you aren't selling them your customer doesn't have to buy

this is in regards to all copyright, if someone starts a factory producing clones of iPhone and iMac chips for the purpose of repairing devices, that's not copyright infringement, because apple does not sell those chips :)

if they want to keep their copyright they can put their repair chips on the public market, continue matinance of old products, etc

Nintendo will hate this law the most I'm sure.

widows is surprisingly robust to this law as you can actually buy every copy of windows ever produced right now on windows website, albeit you might have a hard time finding it because they'd PERfer you didn't.

streaming companies dropping original content from their service for tax purposes can expect to find it on YouTube the next day for free no ads

I think you all will be able to see how this will have a hotting effect on the market, where as now copyright holders have the power to delete content from the legal sphere, under this law they cannot do that. they can sell it themselves or they can give it away for free.

no more manufactured scarcity for the sake of inflating already inflated prices

[mostlysignssomeportents]

A sexy, skinny defeat device for your HP ink cartridge

Animals keep evolving into crabs; it's a process called "carcinisation" and it's pretty weird. Crabs just turn out to be extremely evolutionarily fit for our current environment:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-animals-keep-evolving-into-crabs/

By the same token, all kinds of business keep evolving into something like a printer company. It turns out that in this enshittified, poorly regulated, rentier-friendly world, the parasitic, inkjet business model is extremely adaptive. Printerinisation is everywhere.

All that stuff you hate about your car? Trapping you into using their mechanics, spying on you, planned obsolescence? All lifted from the inkjet printer business model:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

That GE fridge that won't make ice or dispense water unless you spend $50 for a proprietary charcoal filter instead of using a $10 generic? Pure printerism:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#filtergate

The software update to your Sonos speakers that makes them half as useful and takes away your right to play your stored music, forcing you to buy streaming music subscriptions? Straight out of the HP playbook:

https://www.wired.com/story/sonos-admits-its-recent-app-update-was-a-colossal-mistake/

But as printerinized as all these gadgets are, none can quite attain the level of high enshittification that the OG inkjet bastards attain on a daily basis. In the world championships of effortlessly authentic fuckery, no one can lay a glove on the sociopathic monsters of HP.

For example: when HP wanted to soften us all up for a new world of "subscription ink" (where you have to pre-pay every month for a certain number of pages' worth of printing, which your printer enforces by spying on you and ratting you out to HP over the internet), they offered a "lifetime subscription" plan. With this "lifetime" plan, you paid just once and your HP printer would print out 15 pages a month for so long as you owned your printer, with HP shipping you new ink every time you ran low.

Well, eventually, HP got bored of not making you pay rent on your own fucking printer, so they just turned that plan off. Yeah, it was a lifetime plan, but the "lifetime" in question was the lifetime of HP's patience for not fucking you over, and that patience has the longevity of a mayfly:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/11/06/horrible-products/#inkwars

It would take many pages to list all of HP's sins here. This is a company that ships printers with half-full ink cartridges and charges more than the printer cost to buy a replacement set. The company that won't let you print a black-and-white page if you're out of yellow ink. The company that won't let you scan or send a fax if you're out of any of your ink.

They make you "recalibrate" your printer or "clean your heads" by forcing you to print sheets of ink-dense paper. They also refuse to let you use your ink cartridges after they "expire."

HP raised the price of ink to over $10,000 per gallon, then went to war against third-party ink cartridge makers, cartridge remanufacturers, and cartridge refillers. They added "security chips" to their cartridges whose job was to watch the ink levels in your cartridge and, when they dip below a certain level (long before the cartridge is actually empty), declare the cartridge to be dry and permanently out of use.

Even if you refill that cartridge, it will still declare itself to be empty to your printer, which will therefore refuse to print.

Third party ink companies have options here. One thing they could do is reverse-engineer the security chip, and make compatible ones that say, "Actually, I'm full." The problem with this is that laws like Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) potentially makes this into a felony punishable by a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine, for a first offense.

DMCA 1201 bans bypassing "an effective means of access control" to a copyrighted work. So if HP writes a copyrighted "I'm empty" program for its security chip and then adds some kind of access restriction to prevent you from dumping and reverse-engineering that program, you can end up a felon, thanks to the DMCA.

Another countermove is to harvest security chips out of dead cartridges that have been sent overseas as e-waste (one consequence of HP's $10,000/gallon ink racket is that it generates mountains of immortal, toxic e-waste that mostly ends up poisoning poor countries in the global south). These can be integrated into new cartridges, or remanufactured ones.

In practice, ink companies do all of this and more, and total normie HP printer owners go to extremely improbable lengths to find third party ink cartridges and figure out how to use them. It turns out that even people who find technology tinkering intimidating or confusing or dull can be motivated to learn and practice a lot of esoteric tech stuff as an alternative to paying $10,000/gallon for colored water.

HP has lots of countermoves for this. One truly unhinged piece of fuckery is to ask Customs and Border Patrol to block third-party ink cartridges with genuine HP security chips that have been pried loose from e-waste shipments. HP claims that these are "counterfeits" (because they were removed and re-used without permission), even though they came out of real HP cartridges, and CBP takes them at their word, seizing shipments.

Even sleazier: HP pushes out fake security updates to its printers. You get a message telling you there's an urgent security update, you click OK, and your printer shows you a downloading/installing progress bar and reboots itself. As far as you can tell, nothing has changed. But these aren't "security" updates, they're updates that block third-party ink, and HP has designed them not to kick in for several months. That way, HP owners who get tricked into installing this downgrade don't raise hell online and warn everyone else until they've installed it too, and it's too late:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

This is the infectious pathogen business model: one reason covid spread so quickly was that people were infectious before they developed symptoms. That meant that the virus could spread before the spreader knew they had it. By adding a long fuse to its logic bomb, HP greatly increases the spread of its malware.

But life finds a way. $10,000/gallon ink is an irresistible target for tinkerers, security researchers and competitors. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but the true parent of jaw-dropping ingenuity is callous, sadistic greed. That's why America's army of prisoners are the source of so many of the most beautiful and exciting forms of innovation seen today:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/09/king-rat/#mother-of-invention

Despite harsh legal penalties and the vast resources of HP, third-party ink continues to thrive, and every time HP figures out how to block one technique, three even cooler ones pop up.

Last week, Jay Summet published a video tearing down a third-party ink cartridge compatible with an HP 61XL:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE

The third-party cartridge has what appears to be a genuine HP security chip, but it is overlaid with a paper-thin, flexible, adhesive-backed circuit board that is skinny enough that the cartridge still fits in an HP printer.

This flexible circuit board has its own little microchip. Summet theorizes that it is designed to pass the "are you a real HP cartridge" challenge pass to the security chip, but to block the followup "are you empty or full?" message. When the printer issues that challenge, the "man in the middle" chip answers, "Oh, I'm definitely full."

In their writeup, Hackaday identifies the chip as "a single IC in a QFN package." This is just so clever and delightful:

https://hackaday.com/2024/09/28/man-in-the-middle-pcb-unlocks-hp-ink-cartridges/

Hackaday also notes that HP CEO Enrique J Lores recently threatened to brick any printer discovered to be using third-party ink:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/01/hp-ceo-blocking-third-party-ink-from-printers-fights-viruses/

As William Gibson famously quipped, "the future is here, it's just not evenly distributed." As our enshittification-rich environment drives more and more companies to evolve into rent-seeking enterprises through printerinisation, HP offers us a glimpse of the horrors of the late enshittocene.

It's just as Orwell prophesied: "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a HP installing malware on your printer to force you to spend $10,000/gallon on ink – forever."

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches

Image: Jay Summet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0ya184uaTE

[armmlmsoftware]

How Does a Party MLM Plan work? A complete Guide - https://medium.com/geekculture/how-does-a-party-mlm-plan-work-a-complete-guide-5ebfc1559add

[ms-demeanor]

One thing that I keep seeing whenever I make posts that are critical of macs is folks in the notes going "they make great computers for the money if you just buy used/refurbs - everyone knows not to buy new" and A) no they don't know that, most people go looking for a new computer unless they have already exhausted the new options in their budget and B) no they don't make great computers for the money, and being used doesn't do anything to make them easier to work on or repair or upgrade.

Here's a breakdown of the anti-consumer, anti-repair features recently introduced in macbooks. If you don't want to watch the video, here's how it's summed up:

In the end the Macbook Pro is a laptop with a soldered-on SSD and RAM, a battery secured with glue, not screws, a keyboard held in with rivets, a display and lid angle sensor no third party can replace without apple. But it has modular ports so I guess that’s something. But I don’t think it’s worthy of IFixIt’s four out of ten reparability score because if it breaks you have to face apple’s repair cost; with no repair competition they can charge whatever they like. You either front the cost, or toss the laptop, leaving me wondering “who really owns this computer?”

Apple doesn't make great computers for the money because they are doing everything possible to make sure that you don't actually own your computer, you just lease the hardware from apple and they determine how long it is allowed to function.

The lid angle sensor discussed in this video replaces a much simpler sensor that has been used in laptops for twenty years AND calibrating the sensor after a repair requires access to proprietary apple software that isn't accessible to either users or third party repair shops. There's no reason for this software not to be included as a diagnostic tool on your computer except that Apple doesn't want users working on apple computers. If your screen breaks, or if the fragile cable that is part of the sensor wears down, your only option to fix this computer is to pay apple.

How long does apple plan to support this hardware? What if you pay $3k for a computer today and it breaks in 7 years - will they still calibrate the replacement screen for you or will they tell you it's time for new hardware EVEN THOUGH YOU COULD HAVE ATTAINED FUNCTIONAL HARDWARE THAT WILL WORK IF APPLE'S SOFTWARE TELLS IT TO?

Look at this article talking about "how long" apple supports various types of hardware. It coos over the fact that a 2013 MacBook Air could be getting updates to this day. That's the longest example in this article, and that's *hardware* support, not the life cycle of the operating system. That is dogshit. That is straight-up dogshit.

Apple computers are DRM locked in a way that windows machines only wish they could pull off, and the apple-only chips are a part of that. They want an entirely walled garden so they can entirely control your interactions with the computer that they own and you're just renting.

Even if they made the best hardware in the world that would last a thousand years and gave you flowers on your birthday it wouldn't matter because modern apple computers don't ever actually belong to apple customers, at the end of the day they belong to apple, and that's on purpose.

This is hardware as a service. This is John Deere. This is subscription access to the things you buy, and if it isn't exactly that right at this moment, that is where things have been heading ever since they realized it was possible to exert a control that granular over their users.

With all sympathy to people who are forced to use them, Fuck Apple I Hope That They Fall Into The Ocean And Are Hidden Away From The Honest Light Of The Sun For Their Crimes.

[prokopetz]

I'm not putting this up as a reblog on the post that prompted it because I don't want to derail somebody else's vent post, but the artists among us may find it reassuring – or, at least, a source of schadenfreude – to know that it's not just art commissions: literally all clients for bespoke work are Like That.

As a software developer for a web consulting outfit, I have personally experienced:

A client commissioning bespoke software for their website, using it for several years, going out of business, and trying to return the software for a refund on the grounds that they no longer needed it

A client getting a quote from us, deciding to go with a (suspiciously low) quote from a third party instead, getting screwed over by that third party, coming back to us to have the work down properly, and getting angry when we declined to honour the third party's quote

A client getting a website done by us, making a big show of how happy they were with the work, proposing a second website, going through the requirements-gathering process, then being shocked when presented with a second quote because I guess they thought they were getting infinite labour for a finite amount of money

Multiple clients proposing profit-sharing schemes in lieu of payment, then becoming performatively offended and verbally abusive when we asked to see their business plan

A client arguing that we should perform the work for free as a "public service"

While the parallels aren't exact, I suspect a lot of that is going to be eerily familiar to the artists in the room!

[yapperblog]

Random dating Joost headcanons

SFW and NSFW. +18 only! rpf below, don't interact if you are not comfortable with that

SFW

loves when you come to watch his show, knowing your eyes are on him the whole time makes it even more exciting. Winks and smiles at you whenever he comes dancing closer to the backstage where you are standing.

watching the rest of the head-liners after his show at the festival together. To avoid getting recognised, you both wear facemasks or hoodies with the hood up, but it adds to the fun. You both get a drink, sing along and dance together.

if you were not traveling with him, you always stay up to wait for him to come home. He often comes back tired after multiple sets back to back late at night. He crawls in bed into your waiting arms, head falling into your lap. you run your fingers through his hair, rub his back, whispering sweet nothings to him. He tells you about the show and the after party, all the shenanigans he got up to with his friends, his voice gets quieter and quieter as you rub his back, it turns into soft breathing with him falling asleep in your lap.

loves laying on your chest holding you close to him. Makes him feel safe and loved.

lets you play with his hair, as you sit on his lap facing him, you messily style it into different hairstyles. You give him a middle part, or brush his hair completely behind his ears and take photos of him while giggling. He acts like he is not a big fan of it, but secretly loves the feeling of your fingers in his hair and just watches you have fun.

the photo of him you took with two tiny pig tales, pink bows on each side, does numbers on social media.

you want to see how he will look like with eyeliner? Say no more, he is up for it.

in general loves every activity that involves you being as close to him as possible. Watching tv? he is right next to you, big spooning you or putting your legs on his lap. He needs to be touching you at all times.

an insane amount of inside jokes between you two. Sometimes you only need a glance at him and you both already know what the other is thinking and without saying a word, you burst out laughing at the same time.

he is your biggest hypeman. No matter if it is a small or a big project, he is ready to hype you up and give you all the motivation and affirmation he can. Sometimes it's cheesy phrases, but it works nonetheless. Even if you are simply picking out an outfit for the day, he is there to cheer you on. Hugs you from behind as you are looking into the mirror, covers you in compliments and kisses.

he is a workaholic, spends most of his free time either working on his ipad or in the studio, his brain always going a hundred miles an hour thinking of new ideas for the album or the tour. But he always makes time to plan a date with you, even if you have been dating for a couple of years, each date brings a thrill and you both crave spending quality time together.

loves when you join him in the studio while he is working. He says having you close brings inspiration ho him. You let him do his thing, while you sit on a sofa reading a book or scrolling on your phone, once in a while you hear him hum a melody to himself, while recording it to remember it and potentially use later in a song. Or he plays around with different sounds on the software. When he asks you for a rhyme to a word, you are excited to help him brainstorm. After a few hours he joins you on the sofa, burying his face into your neck kissing softly, while you suggest ideas of what to order for dinner.

loves being taken care of. it can be something small, like you bringing him a plate of food while he is deep into his work, or lather up shampoo into his hair in the shower, gently washing his day away. as you step out of the shower, you wrap a towel around him, drying him off. You lead him into your bedroom, he's had a long day, his eyes are already heavy with sleep, all he wants is to wrap his hands around you, your scent filling his nose and close his eyes.

says "I love you" as often as he breaths and it never looses the heavy meaning behind those words. He means it every time and you always make sure to say it back.

you send him a photo of the belt with a fun chunky buckle you found at the thrift store with a message "do you want me to get this for you? thought it fits your style." A smile spreads across his face, he loves that you thought of him.

gets you matching bracelets. He has your initials and you have a J.K. engraved. Often brings your hand, the one you wear the bracelet on, closer to his chest, sometimes he doesn't even seem to notice he does it, just wants it closer to his heart on an instinct.

facetimes you when he is in a car on his way to a show, sometimes it's short just to see you and hear your voice, or longer calls when he is traveling to another country. He tells you all about his day, asks questions about you. If his friends are also in the car, it becomes a group yap session. You team up with one of them to jokingly make fun of Joost for something he said or did that day. Laughter fills the room through your phone.

the biggest tease in the world. If you are shorter than him, he will use it to an advantage every chance he gets, like holding things you need above your reach. He is a better dancer than you, so he often ends up lightheartedly laughing at your attempts to replicate his dance moves. He loves that you can match his energy and understand his humour.

you tease him back as much. With every shared joke he falls inlove with you even more.

NSFW

as often as he is tired after the show, as if on a flip of a coin, he can also be wired with energy. If on a usual day the sex is great, after the show, both of you high on adrenaline, it is a 100 times better.

sometimes you don't even bother getting home first, you do it in his little room backstage. As soon as you lock the door, his lips collide with yours, hands find your waist to bring you flush against him. Shameless moans fill the room, you both know it's only the people you trust also backstage and no one will walk in.

always tries to make sure you cum first, he gets off on your pleasure. When you came or he feels you are close, he looks into your eyes asking for consent, you nod and he lets loose, hugs you as tight to him as possible still holding your hips and chases his own release, letting out heavy breaths and groans.

loves seeing your face while having sex, his hairy chest and stomach flush against yours, necklace dangling in your face with each thrust.

but also becomes absolutely entranced watching his dick slip in and out of you. If you let him cum inside, he sits back on his heels to watch the cum drip out of you, a reminder of what you just did. He will try to collect it all and push it back in hearing your moan. He likes to think he is not possessive, but doing this can absolutely get him hard again.

if he isn't cumming inside, he loves to do it on your chest or stomach.

because he loves being close to you as much as possible, it often ends in him up getting horny.

his hand slowly sneaking under your t-shirt while you are watching tv together him being a big spoon. A whimper falls from your lips as you feel him palm your tit and lightly pinch your nipple. It gets you in a mood really fast. You will have to rewind the show you were watching, as it was long forgotten when you end up getting pounded from behind or riding him.

loves having you sit on his lap. You are at your friends place on a private patio, he is smoking a cigarette, both of you in a conversation with your friends. His hand slips from your waist to your upper thigh and rests there for a while until he starts rubbing soft circles and grabbing at the soft exposed skin because of a skirt you are wearing. You turn to face him, a smirk spreading on his face, you already know you are in for a fun time when you get back home.

if you are not on his lap, but sitting on a chair beside him, his hand always finds your thigh or he has to be holding your ankle. He is also fine with just holding your hand intertwining your fingers. It grounds him and serves as a reminder that you are his and next to him.

seeing how much he loves the bracelet with his initials you are wearing, you get a necklace with a small pendant that says "klein" in cursive and decide to surprise him with it. To say he loved it, is an understatement, he kept getting hard round after round while looking at it dangling on your neck. (got carried away and wrote the whole thing on this Necklace)

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

The Joys of Storing | Yandere OCs

So many Yandere’s ploys work with drugging food or drinks that they offer to their love interests. But so few of them think about what their darling does when they don’t eat things immediately.

Maybe it’s because you're busy or you don’t like eating in front of people. Or maybe you cherish the food so much that you choose to save it for later. It’s such a habit that you’ll do that often so many people miss it.  It’s not bizarre that your admirer might miss it too,  that is until it interferes with their plans.

Yandere Ship || Vera 

Vera doesn’t need to drug you usually, considering he has access to hundreds of different methods to knock a human out. But with his new body plus his evolving software on his vessel, there are so many new things to try. Like finding out how many times he can get away with touching you in your sleep before you tell him to stop, you haven’t caught him yet. Or how many sips of water you’d like to have during the day and how often he can get it recorded. The point is he’d absolutely add something to a snack of yours just to see what you do. Would you blame him? Take the effects in stride? Ask for his synthetic body’s help? Sure his processors have already predicted a thousand different possibilities but he doesn’t care. It’s nothing compared to what’ll actually happen. And he’s right.

“(Y/n)...are you going to eat the dessert I personally made for you?”

“Yeah…just later.”

“Later? Later when?”

“When I’m ready!”

“Oh okay….Are you ready now?”

“No.”

Veras adores pestering you about plenty of other things and he’s terrible at being sneaky. He just gets so excited! He probably knows you are going to eat if later and he’s just glad you don’t realize how intricate his thermal cameras are. 

Yandere Witch || Rhiana

Rhiana is likely to fall prey to this little habit of yours. She’ll brew a potion something harmless to help her out. A sweet little concoction that will blend right into your drink to make you a tad less interested in your missing friend. It was just something to have you think of happy thoughts of her. But instead of drinking your drink when you came back from the bathroom, you just kept talking…and talking….and talking. Don’t get her wrong she adores the sound of your voice but she’s been waiting for you to take the first sip and it just hasn’t happened. 

“I just can’t believe these detectives have the nerve to blow me off the way they do–”

“Hmmm”

“--And I told them all of the loose ends about the case and they just wrote me off like I’m some weird asylum patient–”

“...MmmHmm yeah…”

“--I know this isn’t some thriller tv series but I can’t believe they didn’t take any of my leads into account–”

“Yeah..your drink?”

“Yeah, the straw’s cute right? Anyway how am I supposed to sleep when I know they’re not investigating–”

She’ll tiredly listen and watch you lick your lips as they dry out as you keep talking, figuring this is her only comfort to imagine wetting your lips with hers. She’ll make a mental note never to try getting you to consume something without a guarantee you’ll eat it right in front of her. She refuses to miss whatever cute faces you're going to make when the potion she put in kicks in. 

Yandere Cheerleaders + Yandere Football Team 

Both teams are great at teamwork, used to coordinating their actions to be a united front but there are still individuals. The individuals are interested in just a few pictures at your most vulnerable. Or it’s about getting more than the privilege of a shoulder to sleep on at the next party. Either way they’ve distracted the captains and the rest of the team just long enough to gift you the fated red solo cup for the night. They chat with you believing that as a participant in the social atmosphere, you’d take a sip from your drink just like they have. But you haven’t. For a football player, this gets all so nerve-wracking, in the past, they’d seen their teammates do this exact thing to kick off a night of humiliation and fun. Of course, that’s not the plan for you but you seem fairly content with just holding the cup as you lightly bop to the music. For a cheerleader they're almost tempted to outright shove the cup past your perfect+ lips. Things always go their way so it’s upsetting that you just won’t crumple right into their waiting arms.

“You haven’t drunk anything at all (Y/n)...go ahead and have a sip.”

“Oh, I’m just not thirsty.”

“You sure? One taste can’t hurt. I promise I’m a good mixer.”

“Hm, and I bet you’ll mix well with the trash in the compactor.”

“C-captains!” 

“(Y/n), how about you and I take a quick drive. This party’s about to get a whole lot more violent rowdy.”

The captains likely already knew about this little niche of yours and they’re grateful it just so happened to work in their favor this time. Usually, they’ll spend their dates trying to decide when and how is the best time to guarantee you eat their gifts right in front of them. But until they can figure it out they’ll take it upon themselves to punish everyone who isn’t aware. 

Yandere Cat Warrior || Ferrin

Ferrin as a Cat Warrior considers himself far above poisoning of any kind. He’s a warrior! He needs nothing but his sharp wit and imposing claws to seal the fate of his enemies. That being said since he’s made himself a companion of yours+ your magnificent guide he’s had quite a few urges. He really can’t help the urge to sink his canines into your neck when he’s cuddling with you in your tent. But nibbling only does so much for his feline instincts; the urge to mark his territory becomes unbearable when you turn down his more intimate advances. More often than not resulting in marking you another way Ferrin suddenly has quite an interest in cooking.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Later.”

“Later. Later? LATeR! That’s not happening!”

“I don’t want to eat now, back off. I also don’t want to put you in a chokehold again today.”

He’s just so irritating you’re not ingesting his creation…apart of him, he departed with so he could mark your existence as his own. Sure he scents you every other minute of the day but a good cat warrior should want for nothing less than the best.

[traegorn]

Want to keep using Ad Blockers? Stop Using Chrome, Switch to Firefox.

So with the rollout of Manifest V3, Google Chrome is pretty much crippling all ad blockers on Chrome. Effectively, ad blockers can no longer update their lists without fully updating their plugins. It's pretty shitty.

And you may be asking yourself -- what can I do? The answer is simple:

Switch to Firefox. Now.

Now I've been a Firefox evangelist for a long time, I know, but it's a free, open source browser made by a nonprofit org. It's literally the most ethically developed any software could possibly be. It's on every major desktop platform, and it's just... good.

Why would you use a browser made by a corporation that literally removed "Don't be evil" from their mission instead of this? I know that, like, a long ass time ago Chrome was faster, but that's not remotely true anymore. Heck, on Mac Chrome eats way more RAM than Firefox. It's ridiculous.

That's not even mentioning the fact that the amount of Chromium engine browsers out there is kind of ruining the web. Mozilla has their own rendering engine built on open web standards, and diversity in rendering engines helps everyone.

So yeah. If you're using a computer, go get Firefox. They have an Android version too. (They sorta have an iOS app -- but that uses Webkit because of Apple's limitations on third party browser engines -- but it will let you access your sync'd Firefox passwords).

Make your life better.

[foolishlovers]

CO-WORKER AUs: Below you can find a list of Good Omens AUs in which Crowley and Aziraphale are co-workers. (oh my god they were co-workers)

[Requested by anon. You can request more fic recs here.]

Hit me with your ledger by KissMyAsthma (G, 1k) Corporate accountant Aziraphale has been infatuated with his coworker Crowley for a long time, but he has done nothing about it. One day, opportunity strikes and… Sometimes, an accidental nude is all it takes to score a date.

Get Down by AppleSeeds (T, 3k) When Aziraphale calls downstairs asking them to send up someone to fix the fax machine in his office, he doesn't expect them to send the most handsome and stylish man he's ever encountered in his entire life. Hopefully he won't end up doing anything foolish to embarrass himself.

The Piano Serpent by journeytogallifrey (T, 3k) Aziraphale owns The Flaming Sword, which is one of the premier gay bars in London. Everyone knows this… except for their pianist, Crowley. While the regulars take bets over whether he's the clueless straight person he seems, Aziraphale just tries to prevent himself from falling further. But one night Crowley plays a song written specially to honor their regulars, and Aziraphale can't hold the truth in any longer. How will Crowley react? Will the truth really set them free?

Hold the Lift by CemeteryAngel725 (T, 5k) Crowley just wants to get to work on time, but when he gets stuck in a lift with new guy Aziraphale, he ends up with a lot more than he bargained for. See, Aziraphale has this list of 36 questions…

!False (It's Funny Because It's True) by MirjamOmens (E, 6k) Aziraphale drew a long breath through his nose. Crowley, of course it had to be Crowley. The new guy in the sales department, who would promise potential customers just about anything to close a deal. Arrogant, annoying – and wildly, stupidly attractive. Aziraphale hated him. Aziraphale is a stellar software architect and a project manager, who is so done with the sales department selling unrealistically scheduled and budgeted projects. And he definitely doesn't have a crush on anyone, thank you very much.

Bang This Out? by crepesandoysters (E, 9k) As far as work friendships go, Aziraphale and Crowley have won the jackpot. They work well together and know how to make each other laugh, the whole metaphorical package. They could even be called best friends. Or, at least, they could be called that until today. Today comes with a kiss, and the kiss comes with more. A lot more if it were up to them. Except that their workplace seems to have other ideas.

Cock Tales by TawnyOwl95 (E, 12k) Crowley’s love life is on the rocks so he finally swears off men. Typical that his new job places him with a co-worker who's so straight up sexy. Or in which, Aziraphale tries to mix things up, Crowley is shaken and Anathema is a right stirrer. But could a relationship be worth a shot?

I'm Beginning to See the Light by ineffabildaddy (E, 15k) There was Crowley - the paragon of cool, the overlord of apathy, breezing easily through each and every one of their exchanges and giving no fucks while doing so; then there was the anachronistic, cloying Aziraphale, trying and failing not to live life like a Thomas Hardy protagonist, and giving many fucks indeed. Or: Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

House Style by soft_october (M, 24k) “Since that's all settled, the real question is did he give you his number?” Anathema laughed. “He was looking at you the way you look at lunch.” “Forget lunch!” Michael declared. “He was looking at you the way you were looking at him!” Aziraphale is content in his job as an editor at Celestial Publishing, though he could go for a bit less of doing his boss' job for him. But everything goes a bit screwy when the CEO brings in a consultant with plans to build a program that will turn the entire editorial department on its head. If only he wasn't so handsome.

All Lines Are Open by TawnyOwl95, FeralTuxedo (E, 21k) Anthony Crowley, bored host of a trite call-in radio show on Tadfield FM, has very few pleasures in life beyond annoying his long-suffering producer Aziraphale. When a caller reports suspicious activity at the abandoned Tadfield Manor, Crowley is determined to investigate, dragging Aziraphale along. Both of them are going to get more than they bargained for. A local radio AU

Heavenly Wicked Cafe by WaitingToBeBroken (T, 33k) There is a terribly rude barista that makes amazing coffee and a saint of a barista, whose coffee tastes vile. And they are in love.

i've found a way (a way to make you smile) by curtaincall (T, 40k) Crowley worked in Sales. He had never intended to work in Sales. It had just sort of happened. One moment, there he’d been, a newly minted university graduate off to change the world, exquisitely useless Philosophy degree in hand, and now here he was, having sauntered vaguely downwards into a Hell that consisted mainly of cold-calling new customers and sucking up to existing ones.   AU based on The Office.

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield. by heloluv (M, 41k) Dr. A.Z. Fell is a renowned literature tutor at the prestigious University of Tadfield. December is upon the University, and Dr. Fell is leading the Christmas Charity Drive. He needs volunteers. Dr. A.J. Crowley is a skilled plant ecologist who recently began his tenure at UoT. He can't stand Christmas, and nothing at all could ever possibly convince him to partake in "festivities". Until a certain literary expert catches his eye. A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year.

because thinking makes it so by summerofspock, NaroMoreau (E, 41k) It's supposed to be an exchange. An arrangement. Something to make them both feel better and less lonely. But Crowley's never had the brightest ideas.

Tadfield's Finest by angelsnuffbox (E, 51k) The sleepy town of Tadfield is thoroughly shaken by the arrival of DI Crowley. Where barely anything ever happened before, there is now a bustle of low grade criminal activity, and everyone knows where to point the blame. Gabriel thinks he's a bad omen for the town, many others are quick to agree. Meanwhile, Aziraphale from SOCO just thinks he's hot. Ridiculously so.

Golden Handcuffs by seekwill (E, 70k) Far from any city, near the Scottish coast, Tadfield College has a celebrated history, an unrivaled academic reputation, and two departments at war. When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbit of the polite but strange English professor, Dr. Aziraphale Fell. As the new term begins, two academics navigate the politics of both their offices and academia, and try to solve the puzzle of one another.

Wild Hearts by foolishlovers (E, 124, WIP) In the idyllic English countryside, far from the hustle and bustle of the big city, two teachers at Willowbrook Hall set out to transform their students’ lives through the world of theatre. But for Mr. Crowley, the challenge of navigating his long hidden feelings and dear friendship with Mr. Fell may prove to be the greatest drama of all.

Sugar And Spice by SylWritesStuff, ladydragona (E, 179k, WIP) Queer technology giant Anthony J. Crowley is just about ready to throw in the towel after relationship after relationship has failed, but there's a new barista at the company coffee shop and he's cute and sweet and Crowley's never been able to resist blond hair and blue eyes. The tabloids will have a field day, they always do, but his assistant is getting married and a temp is needed. A temp who really isn't very good at making complicated coffees, has past experience in reception, and absolutely no idea that the latest complicated coffee order came from the owner himself. Aziraphale only knows that he's handsome, patient, and was the first person who told him he was doing well. How could he refuse the temp position? Or, he soon discovers, more.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

[whereserpentswalk]

There's a faerie chained up in your boss's house. He took you there once, for a company party, and he showed it off to everyone. It was the size of a human, looked kind of like a human, but there was something different about it's eyes. It's a rare artifact, most of it's kind had been lost to the empires of humanity a long time ago, and he claimed there was nowhere safer for a creature such as that then with a human.

He could use it of course. A creature like that could help create magical things for him, soon enough it could even be a product. And sometimes he'd take it out, and make it sing for him, in a pretty little dress, and everyone always clapped, its voice wasn't like a human's, wasn't like anything from this age.

You know your company uses magic a lot. You know most of the security guards are werewolves, they ripped apart somebody sleeping on a bench outside your office once. The company uses demons and vampires as consultants sometimes too, and you're sure there's some working there. They even say in the sweatshops your company runs across seas they use necromancers so that they workers can keep working after they die.

Your boss has been talking about his faerie more and more recently. He has plans for fae magic based technology that everyone in software says is impossible. And he shows himself with his faerie all the time, talks about how it's the future, his future. And meanwhile it looks more and more upset, and more and more uncomfortable, especially as he touches it more and more.

You came into work one day to hear that your boss was to dead. He died in his basement of all places. They say his entire body was turned to wood, his expression in constant pain as he sits there. And his faerie is nowhere to be seen.

[cuso4tong]

I used the astrolabe to analyze the mclennon relationship.

I use john's astrolabe as the main disk, I haven't learned astrolabe very long, so my skills are not very good, please forgive me. In addition, my English is not very good, so I rely a lot on translation software, so my sentences may not be very smooth.🥺🤲

Sun Pisces: john has a high level filter on paul, will be crazy to give, have fantasies about each other, but will have a showman personality when it comes to getting along

Moon Virgo: will analyze each other's behavior according to various details, relatively pessimistic about feelings, Yan control, while scolding while loving, the longer two people get along, the more they can't run away

Lilith Taurus: (john's darkest side) is possessive, very materialistic and enjoys greed

Ascendance Scorpio: Manipulative, wants to sleep with paul when he's upset, but also very clever, wants to torture him

The sun in the 4th house: there is the idea of wanting to marry each other, and this phase is more like accompanying family members and partners for life, rather than simple lovers falling in love

Moon in the 10th house: feel that you can learn from each other, and want to marry each other.

Jupiter in the 6th house: Think that each other is a good teammate, two people support each other and cooperate, each other's behavior can heal themselves

Saturn in the 6th house: enthusiasm to help each other, but deny each other's efforts, always think that the other party can not reach their own standards, think that the other party's talent is not as good as their own, just through the day after tomorrow to make up for some

Lilith in the 6th House: Hope that the other person can serve themselves, john does not want to pay

Chiron in the 8th House :john is a typical lack of love, emotional distortion and difficult to get true emotional satisfaction

Sun Moon Chong: john has low self-esteem and conceals his thoughts. He obviously cares about (loved) a lot, but maybe because of some very, very small misunderstanding, he directly thinks that paul's character is wrong and can't get along with him anymore, and he directly refuses to listen to the other side's explanation

The sun and the king of Heaven: a reality, a fantasy, because of practical reasons (after having their own inner ideal, dream) to take the initiative to withdraw

Sun to Sea King: john deludes himself, addicted to each other's body, smell, and confused about the relationship between the two people

The moon hits Venus: john thinks he loves but cannot, paul has no emotional feedback, so he denies the relationship and feels that the other side does not understand him

Moon over Mars: Possessive, impulsive, will talk passionately with paul endlessly, and strong sexual attraction, want to do crazy with each other

Moon and Jupiter: very spoil each other, willing to spend a lot of money, two people get along with the way is soulmate

Moon over Saturn: john is emotionally dependent on each other and has low self-esteem to suppress his emotions

Venus and Mars: Very emmm aspect, strong sexual attraction, very want to sleep with each other

Venus and Jupiter: john will be tolerated by paul in many places, he thinks paul is his noble person, and john is willing to explode gold coins. The two people get along very happily

Venus and Saturn: The relationship between two people has a sense of contract, paul is very exclusive to john, but john is more confident with this

Mars over Jupiter: john thinks paul is very passionate, the two enjoy sex, and john is a little religious

Jupiter and Saturn: john believes that paul's happiness comes from realizing his ideal, pursuing a sense of accomplishment, and making his ideal come true. He thinks paul is a man with a plan

[gremlin-girly]

Flufftober Day 27

Alt 8: Written But Never Sent

Pairing: Steve Rogers x gn!Agent!Reader

Tags/Warnings: FLUFF, ANGST (idk why I'm putting Steve through the ringer this week lol), mutual pining (this is apparently my bread and butter as well as my jam), mentions of death, crying/grieving, alcohol consumption/drunk (mentioned), confessions, first kisses, second chances, not beta'd I try to cover everything in my warnings but they are non-exhaustive - please read at your own risk! I will say that this fic is Angst heavy for the majority of it

Summary: You've been missing on a mission for longer than expected; all of your friends and teammates believe the worst to have happened. When packing up your apartment, Steve finds a series of letters addressed to the team in a box in your closet, and decides to read the one addressed to him. Word count: 2.6k

A/N: This one took me longer because I was really struggling with coming up with something for the afternoon stroll prompt. But hey! I think I kinda made this fluffy? We'll ignore the parts that are really sad though. I wanted a little mix of angst and fluff to switch it up. - Love, Grem x

As always, likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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You had went to Hungary over a month ago on a long mission; excited to be flying solo for the first time. Everyone was excited for you too. Natasha had given you a charm bracelet for good luck (that just so happened to be a mini taser), Bucky had shown you had to gut a man three ways, Sam had kindly offered you a lollipop since he had nothing as interesting to gift you last minute and Steve.... Well, Steve had offered some very leaderly advice and urged you to call if anything went wrong and you needed help. You'd assured him, and the others, that you'd be fine but promised to keep it in mind. You waved them goodbye from one of the quinjets and headed for your mission, already daydreaming about returning with grand tales of espionage and action to share with your friends.

But a week and a half ago you went radio silent.

All agents are given 72hours to reach a pre-determined checkpoint, usually a safe house 15 miles from your allocated location for the mission. Usually, when a cover is blown, an agent makes it to a safe house in an average time of 17hours, accounting for hiding out and ensuring they aren't followed.

No one was phased for the first seventeen hours. Not even for the first twenty-four. This was your first mission after all. But the hours dragged longer and longer, and by the 48th hour Steve and the team were desperate to make contact with you and head to Hungary themselves. However, as Nat had pointed out, any other agents in the field could be casualties and putting them at risk was not an option either. So, they had to wait.

Everyone knew what it meant when an agent hadn't checked in for a week.

There were two options; you were either dead or, by the grace of God, you were alive somewhere, somehow, and hadn't managed to make contact.

It was unlikely to be option two.

Although he didn't outwardly show it, Steve was the most affected by your assumed death. He'd planned a welcome home party for you before you left as a congratulations on your first mission, and had been fretting over what flowers to get you (or if he should get any at all). He'd been so proud you were flying solo - you'd been ready - even if he was a little anxious that he couldn't be beside you.

He'd held it together when Sam announced it to the team but barely. He was glad Sam had offered to speak instead of him - Steve wasn't sure he'd be able to make it through just speaking your name. Steve had made sure, as he usually did, to check in on everyone. He nodded along when Tony ranted about getting tracking software in everyone's suits to stop this from happening again and held Wanda when she cried about losing yet another person dear to her.

Hours and hours of endless grief and yet Steve stood tall being everyone else's rock. Being Captain.

Bucky had checked in on him once, and so had Sam, but Steve had only nodded with an "I'm okay. Don't worry about me." They clearly didn't believe him but knew better than to push it just yet. He was grateful for that.

It was when he was at home that night, in the dark of his apartment watching the lights of the city flicker from the window that he finally cried. He couldn't remember the last time he cried so hard but once he started he couldn't stop. Curled in a ball on the floor against the sofa, Steve sobbed until he somehow managed to drag himself to his bedroom in the early hours of the morning.

Steve had only managed to get a few hours sleep before he was up again. He was pouring himself a second coffee and rubbing his tired red eyes when his phone rang.

"Yeah?"

"Steve." It was Fury. "I'm sorry to hear about Y/N."

Steve hums in vague acknowledgement, stirring creamer into his coffee. "What is it?"

Fury sighs into the phone and there's an audible creak as he slumps back into his chair. "There's no easy way to put this but we have to collect Y/N's things from their apartment."

Steve sucks in a breath. Army training makes him bite back vicious comments about how no one knew if you were dead and, even if that were the case, it hadn't even been a month since you'd disappeared. Angry bile burned in his throat and he breathed slowly through his nose, trying not to give away that he was furious. Fury was his friend too - and he was just doing his job.

"We're keeping the lease in their name, don't worry." Fury adds, seemingly noticing Steve's icy demeanour through the phone. "But the belongings and possible traces back to covert operations and the Avengers need to be held in secure storage until... a future time."

There's a heavy beat of silence before Fury continues. "I just thought you may want to be there when the agents pack things up is all."

"I'll be there." Steve says without a second thought. "Just tell me what time."

Steve walked to your apartment that afternoon. He knew it wouldn't be smart to take the motorcycle; the ability to speed and cause more harm to himself than necessary because of his grief was tempting but ultimately pointless.

It was a sunny day. A light breeze softly tousling his hair as he wandered the streets to your apartment. He'd been there a few times - in a totally leader/co-worker/friend manner of course - but the memories that flitted through his brain had him pausing more than once to stop himself from running back home.

One of the first times he'd been to your apartment was your housewarming. You'd finally moved from Natasha's couch into your own place and invited everyone around for drinks and food. You'd thanked him for the flowers he'd brought you when he'd arrived a lot earlier than everyone else and gave him a quick tour of the small apartment, showing off your paintings and trinkets with an infectious glee that had you both giggling and teasing one another. Unlike his apartment, yours had warmth. He'd never felt so at home in a new place before but then again, with you, he always felt like that. Safe.

Another time, you had been drunk. He only remembered when he pushed through the door and saw that you still hadn't fixed the gouge in the doorframe where you'd shoved your key into trying to open your door. Steve chuckled wryly and closed the door behind him. You and the girls had gone out drinking and Steve had offered to be your chaperone home; insisting that as team leader, your safety was priority.

"I don't see you walking Nat home," You had slurred, walking into him multiple times until he took your arm. "Or Wanda."

"Wanda can control people with her powers and Natasha can break four bones in twelve seconds." Steve chuckled, looking down at you. "Come on, you need to get home."

You swayed outside your apartment door, keys poised in hand, eyes narrowing on the key hole. You jabbed viciously, missing the lock entirely, spearing the door frame.

"Whoopsie." You giggled, setting Steve off too.

Steve wandered past your kitchen counter, remembering how he had to unlock the door for you, help you out of your shoes and usher you to bed with a glass of water. You'd looked beautiful that night and he should have told you so.

Tears threatened to spill and Steve was thankful he made it early before any of the agents sent to pack your things. He glanced around your living room, wiping at his eyes. He didn't know where to start. Only that he had to.

A few hours later, Steve finally managed to set foot into your bedroom.

Everything smelled like you in there. It was overwhelming. Steve had to sit on the floor for a few moments to regain his composure. Clothes that you hadn't managed to pack were left strewn across your bed and floor, your jewellery at your dresser, nothing of note to be found. Except, from where Steve had sat in a hurry, he could see a brightly coloured box peeking from your closet.

His face flushed as he wondered what could be in there; something he shouldn't see? More trinkets? However, curiosity got the better of him and he inched closer, tugging the box towards him and ripping off the lid.

Envelopes.

It was full of envelopes.

The very top one had his name on it written in neat, block writing. Steve pulled his envelope from the top and set it aside and returned to the box. The next envelop read N a t a s h a. Steve flicked through the next few and sure enough, there were envelopes addressed to the whole team as well as some family members and other friends. Steve's blue eyes flickered to his envelope beside him. He touched it tentatively like it would burst into flames before him. There was something inside of it - a letter most likely - and it made Steve's stomach lurch.

You'd written him a letter?

Morbid curiosity had him opening the letter carefully and tugging out the contents. Steve smiled through tears seeing your handwriting and scrawled mistakes through the paper and unfolded it, reading it slowly and meticulously, trying to imagine you sat at your kitchen counter writing it.

Dear Steve,

Who starts a letter with "dear" anymore? "To" didn't seem right and "Hi" was just... bad. Anyway, if you're reading this I guess that means that I've taken a short walk off a long pier. Which sucks but I knew if I didn't write these letters, I'd probably come back as a ghost and be miserable for all eternity or something.

Steve snorts at the first paragraph, chuckling thickly through the stream of tears.

Firstly, I want to say thank you. For being a friend and my captain a great team leader. It was an honour and privilege fighting beside you. That being said, I know that you're going to be there for everyone but yourself - so I have taken it upon myself to request that the team help take care of you in my letters to them.

Now Steve fights back a choked sob, cursing quietly and wiping tears away furiously. How did you always manage to read him like a book? You knew when he lied in truth or dare, when he lied to Tony about stupid shit, when he lied about being fine. He loved and hated that you could do it. Loved and hated you could see Steve Rogers beneath Captain America.

Secondly, I have something I want to confess. Maybe I'm I was reading into things to much but I have had, what the kids call these days, a "crush" on you. My only two regrets about this are not telling you sooner and not asking you out for coffee - even if you'd complain it was over-priced and that "back in your day you only had one type of coffee."

And finally, I want to say thank you for everything and I wish you nothing but the best - it's no less than you deserve. Love, Y/N

All of the air in Steve's lungs has evaporated. His heart has halted and he stares at the piece of paper in his hand like it's some sort of cosmic horror mangled with a joke. You'd been "crushing" on him? Steve reads the final half of your letter another few times, his heart aching in his chest.

Getting coffee with you. He'd have liked that. He vaguely remembered Nat mentioning to him that he should ask you out for a coffee and his lip quivered. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry.

"You could always ask Y/N out for a coffee, Steve." Nat had smirked at him. "You know, if you want to get to know them a little more."

Steve had frowned at her, confused. "We have coffee here," He said, pointing at Tony's old percolator that he'd just refilled. "Why would I need to go out with them to get to know them?"

Nat shook her head and sighed at him. "Nevermind, Rogers."

Your bedroom was quiet as Steve sifted through all of his memories of you. How many opportunities had he missed? He hadn't realised you had felt the same way and he'd pushed his feelings aside because he was your leader. He didn't know how long he sat for, still clutching the letter in his lap, but when there was a commotion in the main area of your apartment he frowned and clambered to his feet.

Yelling echoed throughout the apartment but before Steve could open your bedroom door it was flung open. Steve inched back and stared wide-eyed, still holding the letter.

You stared back at him.

"Hi Steve," You say quietly. Your gaze searches his face, seeing the tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes of your Captain boring into you. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. Your eyes trail down and see he's holding a bit of paper, chest tightening when you realise what the paper is. However, before you can even open your mouth again, Steve's lips are on yours and his arms are hugging you so tightly you think you might burst.

His lips are salty from his tears but you don't mind, considering you haven't had a proper shower in days and he clearly didn't seem to care. Your own arms wrap around his waist, leaning into the soft, tender kiss without so much as a second thought.

The moment you break for breath, Steve's face is buried in your neck. You can feel the wet of his tears staining your shirt and it makes your own eyes well too. You squeeze him back tighter than before.

"'M sorry it took me so long to get back," You murmur into his shoulder. Steve barely moves a muscle and his voice is so quiet, you have to strain you're ears to hear him.

"You're back, that's all that matters."

Your heart hammers in your chest and you bravely rest your head onto his shoulder, slumping in his arms wearily.

"It was a nightmare getting back," You confess. "But I'm glad to be back. Especially if that's my welcome home present from now on."

That earns you a chuckle from Steve, who briefly moves back to look down at you, his eyes glistening with happy tears of relief and something a little more. "It can be. How about you tell me everything over coffee?"

Your eyebrow quirks and for the first time in week, you both smile at each other. "You're not talking about coffee from the percolator, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

You snort and shake your head in disbelief. "I'm AWOL for two weeks and everyone's panicking that I'm dead." You tease, giving him a playful sideways glance. "Oh, ye of little faith. Found the letter, huh?"

Steve's arms squeeze your sides again, the smell of his aftershave engulfing you in the familiar scent that made you feel warm and fuzzy whenever you were around him. "Was it that obvious?"

You pretend to ponder for a moment before answering yes. Your eyes gleam playfully up at Steve, looking the same as you did that night he walked you home from the bar, making him want to kiss you all over again. And he does. The flushed, shy look you give him after he pulls away again makes his heart soar.

"Come on," He urges, not wanting to waste a moment longer now that you were back.

Alive.

With him.

"I owe you a coffee date. Or ten."