#Part of why I fell so hard for reboot was the sense of this entire lived-in world behind these characters

[uschickens]

*shakes fictional character* where is the rest of your information I want to know more about you

[aeternallis]

Unpacking the Anti-Sessrin Argument :: Father/Daughter & Grooming

While I was watching AxelBeats’ newest video on the Sessrin discourse, it got me thinking that maybe the reason why the Anti-Sessrin argument even exists in the first place is because Rumiko Takahashi never fully defined Sessrin’s relationship. The audience had different interpretations, of course, but she never explicitly named whatever it is between them. 

It sounds like I’m just stating the obvious, but hear me out. It often baffles me whenever the antis describe Sesshoumaru as having raised, essentially “groomed” Rin for the purpose of sexual gratification. I mean—that’s pretty much the definition of “grooming,” isn’t it: to consistently lower a child’s emotional defenses and befriend them, for the purpose of sex.

But in that same vein, the anti-Sessrin argument also claims (at least most of the time) that Sesshoumaru and Rin also had a father/daughter relationship, from the context of the original show.

Which...kinda contradict each other? 😅 If one sees Sessrin’s relationship as that of a wholesome “father/daughter,” the idea of Sesshoumaru “grooming” Rin is negated, isn’t it? Because in the context of the original anime and the subsequent sequel, describing these two characters simultaneously as “father/daughter” and “an older man grooming a child” wouldn’t make any sense, considering the fact that both descriptions have virtually opposite intentions. 

It can only be one or the other.

At least in a fictional context, anyway. As I said, it’s always been difficult to pin down Sessrin’s relationship because Takahashi herself had never defined it either. Sesshoumaru’s character arc is hella subtle, considering the fact that he’s not part of the main group and at most, he is a secondary character (but one that definitely makes an impression), if not a minor antagonist in the beginning. Lol

I’ve always been of the opinion that if you’re going to define the relationship of two characters in any piece of fiction, whatever label that may be has to apply to the entire story of said characters. It would be an erroneous flaw to define the relationship of two characters as one thing based on your initial impressions, then another thing entirely just because you don’t like the trajectory of said relationship. 

I don’t mean to say that relationships are static; after all, the emotional connections between two characters are always evolving, either for better or worse. That’s what makes a story, and what allows the audience to connect with the characters. 

I only meant that the label has to be reflective of the characters’ actions. 

After all, Yashahime is considered the sequel to Inuyasha; it acts as a continuation, not a reboot or a separate story of its own. Yes, the focus has shifted to an alternative main cast, but the story is still being told within the framework of the original anime. 

Father/Daughter_________

As I said earlier, a lot of antis describe Sessrin as having a father/daughter relationship, but what specific actions did Sessrin perform in the original anime gave off that impression? 

From the beginning, Rin has never had expectations of Sesshoumaru as one would expect to have of a daughter to a father. Throughout the original anime, she fends for herself and only relies on Sesshoumaru for protection. In the context of the time period, Rin receives no form of dowry from him, she’s not used as any sort of pawn (political or otherwise) to his advantage at any time, and for the most part, has no right to whatever assets he may own as an heir (in this case, Jaken’s services and Ah-Un’s loyalty). Sesshoumaru instructs (forces) Jaken and Ah-Un to care for Rin, but I highly doubt the latter has the right to command them, were she truly perceived to be an adopted daughter to a youkai. 

For example, in episode 162 of the anime, Rin herself acknowledges that she doesn’t know what role she plays in Sesshoumaru’s life. For some context, there’s a scene in the episode where Jaken explains that in the future after the situation with Naraku is settled, Sesshoumaru will most likely build an empire. In this future empire Jaken envisions, he proclaims that he’ll be a chief minister, so Rin asks the following question:

In this scene, it clearly shows that Rin has no expectations of Sesshoumaru as one would have as a perceived daughter to a father.

Conversely, Sesshoumaru doesn’t give Rin any rights as a daughter would rightfully have from a father. Rin isn’t overprotectively cloistered away in a palace (or in Towa/Setsuna’s case, within a barrier that surrounds a beautiful forest), he does not pass on any sort of inheritance to her (unlike, once again, Towa/Setsuna’s case, in which they both inherited his powers), does not actively tell her of his singular interest in pursuing Naraku, and most of the time, remains emotionally distant from her. 

And to repeat that, emotionally distant, but it doesn’t mean that he’s not affected by her kindness. 

In the end, she’s free to roam around with him as she pleases--or leave his side, as she pleases. She doesn’t have the restrictions or expectations that would be placed upon a female of that time period; Sesshoumaru lets her live her life, as she pleases. 

Grooming  _________

On the other end of the spectrum, I ask once more: what specific actions did Sessrin perform in the original anime that gave off that impression?

And before one begins to even think about that question, please note that using the reason “in Yashahime, Sesshoumaru married Rin and they had children” as the specific action would not make any sense; this action is just an end result, but nowhere does it indicate where or how the perceived grooming took place. 

To reiterate, throughout the original anime Sesshoumaru remained emotionally distant from Rin; his main focus for most of the time was trying to take Tetsusaiga, tracking down Naraku, and/or trying to find a weapon that can match/surpass Tetsusaiga. 

Hell, even in one of their first significant moments together when he brings her back to life that first time, it wasn’t for any reason of trying to obtain sexual gratification from Rin; the audience is fully aware that he was just mostly out to test Tenseiga’s power (as Jaken himself reiterates). Mauledtodeath!Rin just happened to be there as a stroke of luck and an opportunity. 

What limited scenes they did have together were brief (not to mention that he ignored her half the time), and with hardly any insight into Sesshoumaru’s thoughts, this argument is very much a moot point. 

To be honest, the “grooming” argument IMO is actually kind of ironic, yknow? XD A lot if not most of the antis hate the Sessrin shippers because they think that we condone pedophilia and grooming...yet they were the ones to reach this conclusion on their own. They’re the ones imagining a Sesshoumaru who only had dirty thoughts towards Rin, who raised her to be his outlet for sexual gratification. Lol 

Either way, the situation is funny in that context! 

My Conclusion _________

So what does all this mean? Nothing much, only that I still don’t really understand where the father/daughter vibe and grooming thing comes from. Lol When I say I never saw those things in the original anime, I meant it. If one were to think about the context of the story and how it was portrayed, the accusations that are stacked against Sessrin are just assumptions based on one singular fact that Sesshoumaru married Rin and had children with her.

To me personally, the one label that defines the relationship between Sesshoumaru and Rin, the one that makes sense if we were to look at Inuyasha and Yashahime as a continuous narrative, is that of lord and vassal.  

In an interview with Yashahime’s staff (wonderfully translated by ayuuria here), the producer Naka Toshikazu stated that it was a challenge trying to continue Inuyasha’s story because of how Rumiko Takahashi so neatly concluded it. They only had direction to go somewhere with a new story when they realized they could make it about Sesshoumaru’s daughter. 

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? After all, the reason why they couldn’t just pursue Inukag or MiroSan’s story is because those relationships had already been defined. Both are two sets of characters who fell in love whilst they went on an adventure, and they’ve done their part to save the world. 

Would a story about Shippo or Jaken or Koga have pulled audiences as much as the main cast did? Where would the conflict come from? How could they continue the story without having to repeat the original narrative? Without having to create a new Naraku? 

It makes sense that Sesshoumaru and Rin would get together, if only because they were the one relationship that Rumiko has never defined, not in the anime nor in the manga. Zero in episode 15 of Yashahime states, “The Lord Sesshoumaru, one who is known to detest both humans and half-demons, has taken a human for a wife.” 

Just think of how bold of a story that is, one that can match the stakes of the original story, whilst still being able to continue within the frame of the narrative? Think of the implications of what that means in the narrative of Inuyasha, that the one character who arguably hates humans the most, feared and respected by other youkai, went through such a character arc that he would marry a member of a species he claimed to hate and sire children with her. 

Of course there would be repercussions; of course other demons wouldn’t be happy or be easily accepting of it, Shikon jewel prophecy be damned. 

Of course Sesshoumaru has to work hard to earn his complete happy ending with his family. He fell in love with Rin, a human woman, after all. And in the story of Inuyasha, has that not always been the catalyst for everything else? 

[peel-a-potato-with-a-potato]

So I binge read Invincible

What a trip of a story. Gotta say, I’m really hoping Amazon doesn’t screw it up, but what I’ve seen of the show so far seems to be a good update. The comic came out in 2003 after all, so there’s some parts that don’t hold up well 18 years later.

The ending wasn’t to my taste, but it was mostly satisfying. Spoilers if you keep reading beyond here.

The comic makes gratuitous use of time skipping, usually because of Mark being very vincible (yes, bad joke, don’t care), at several points. The worst ones for me were the 3 or 4 months he spent with his father and brother healing from a stomach wound and the 5 year skip after the “reboot”.

And oh boy do I have thoughts on that reboot. Some mysterious entity we are never given any further information on traps him in a cave and sends him back to being 17 with no powers on Earth. He proceeds to do everything in the most efficient way he can before giving up to be with his family. And then he’s back, but 5 years after he left. Was he really in the past or was that entity just messing with his mind? And did it really take him 5 years to process those few weeks? Or did he get brought back to the wrong time? Was that thing vengeful and wanted to rob him of what he wanted for disobeying it? And after that little section is over, we never hear about that thing again.

And then there’s the deaths of Oliver and Nolan. Both were mostly well done, Oliver died in battle (sure he would have wanted it that way), and Nolan died with his favorite son present. Or least favorite, it’s hard to tell at some points. And both were well used catalysts into propelling the story. Oliver’s death convinced Mark he had to act against Thragg. Nolan’s death put Mark in control of the new Viltrum Empire, and in direct opposition to Robot. I refuse to call him Rex. Rex Splode deserved better than that.

Through the whole series, I didn’t trust Robot. From the beginning, I had a bad feeling about him, and when he was revealed to be a human, Rudy, that pretty much cemented it for me. A genius who relies entirely on logic, even when they have an emotional attachment to someone? Yeah, if that doesn’t scream trouble, I don’t know what does. Putting his brain in a jar and leaving Immortal in charge seemed like the best option.

But that also brings up the question of why he left Immortal in charge at all. Having been brought to the future by two people working for Immortal just so he could get his death, don’t you think Mark would have remembered that? Would have known the pain he would cause his friend? Or was there really no better option? It does provide continuity, answers why Immortal was in charge, and I guess prevents a paradox, which is all probably why it was done. Mark doing that knowing what would happen though, it’s probably the most Viltrumite thing he does in the series, cold and devoid of human emotion. Mark does have a habit of disagreeing with his allies at times, and sometimes that leads to what feels like betrayal.

Even Allen got the short end of that stick, with the Viltrum Empire spreading peace at the end, Allen’s coalition fell apart. And Mark makes some good commentary there that definitely applies to Earth today. But wouldn’t you think he’d want to help Allen change the COP to make it better for those planets being exploited? That seemed to be his thing, but instead he just left them to figure it out.

Going back to immortality for a bit, let’s talk about Eve. She gets severely wounded and suddenly she becomes a god just long enough to patch herself back up. This is used a couple times, first on Eve alone, and then on herself and Mark. The first time she gives herself bigger breasts (yup, it’s a guy writing the series) and the second time Mark asks “Did you make me stronger?” while he flexes. Given that Eve was carrying their child at the time, it makes sense why he wouldn’t leave her power to kick in to replace her lost leg, but it ends up making death feel a bit cheap, the way Marvel and DC do by killing off their heroes and bringing them back. It’s really made worse when Eve dies of old age and is suddenly in her 20′s again. “Guess I’m immortal” my ass. If she’s just going to keep doing that, eventually she will outlive Mark’s thousands of years and she’ll be just as lonely as Immortal. Feels like they didn’t think the ramifications of that one through. I do enjoy the fact that Eve is always, and I do mean always, the one initiating their intimate moments though. A woman taking charge of her sexuality is nice to see.

And then there’s Marky. Poor Marky. Left alone on Earth with an adoptive human father while Mark ignored him because of his rage at Marky’s mother. Debbie steps in to help, and it’s clear Mark still has some contact with his son, but he’s definitely not going to have the support his father did growing up, even if he is the new Invincible. Why on earth would this poor half abandoned child take the name of the father that clearly doesn’t want to take much interest in him? I get it’s a carrying on the family legacy kind of thing, but it gives me weird vibes.

For all my griping though, I have to mention Cecil. Almost a perfect foil to Mark’s black and white thinking. Cecil only sees in shades of grey. No matter where someone’s actions put them in Mark’s eyes, Cecil always sees them as a force to be used to his own ends. Cecil’s need to protect people and his search for peace align so perfectly with Mark’s but because of his way of looking at the world and lack of superpowers, he contrasts so perfectly with the hero of the story. I disagree with Rudy that Cecil would have been okay dying to get the world brought about by Rudy, but I’m not really sure how to put those thoughts into words just yet.

But the ending in general, while neatly wrapping up most of the plot threads (looking at you tentacle entity from the reboot storyline), feels a bit too much like a happily ever after. Now that’s personal taste, but honestly, if they’d just ended it with Mark taking over and saying he was going to leave Earth with the Viltrumites on his mission to help the universe, I’d have been a lot happier leaving the rest up to the imagination. Instead, we get flashes of this race of near gods forcefully bringing peace to the universe and we end with another vaguely satisfying callback.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved the series and I’m honestly tempted to read it again to get a better idea of the callbacks and setups we see. The perspective on some things might be different now too, and that’s always interesting. I’m very much of the opinion that if you love something, you should be critical of it. And there’s a lot in Invincible that seems like doing something just to make the story work. I can’t tell if that’s just because of the medium or if it actually makes sense given that Mark is an alien, so maybe I would need to read it again to figure that out.

[life-rewritten]

DISMAYS VS RELIEFS AKA REVIEW/RANTS OF BL IN SEPTEMBER NOVEMBER

It's been an interesting experience this past few months. BL came back in full force, took mostly all days in the week and you know what? It surprised the hell out of me. Mostly because I was moving back and forth from the decision of whether to stop watching or to wait and trust something extraordinary would happen like last year. And then October/November happened before I knew it I was falling again for some storylines, I was excited again to analyse and talk about these shows, and also I was incredibly grateful for some of the messages I received from these shows, they educated me, humbled me and even pushed me to my own version of self-acceptance, learning and love. So there are some disappointments with some of the shows mentioned here, but overall I'm grateful we got to see these shows and wait for them every week to air. This is the first part of this list because in another two weeks I have more shows ending. December is shaking!

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

DISMAYS

1. MY GEAR AND MY GOWN

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Angst, Drama, Friendship, Unrequited Love, Family

Country: Thailand

Verdict:

 Um, this show. I've been through a lot with this show, I've been angry, frustrated, tired, annoyed but weirdly I love this show, by the end of the finale, this show left me with warmth and this energy of bliss and joy. I realised that the reason why I was so harsh to this show was because of the potential I saw when I first saw the first episode. I fell in love because I could tell it was symbolic, it was deep, and it also had interesting devices used to tell the plot. Who knew that the pacing and directing of this show would nearly leave me mad and furious because it could have been better. This is all on the director, and sometimes the actors, they weren't expressive enough, they weren't emotional enough, and they didn't entirely sell me on what they were meant to be feeling. Sometimes it felt awkward and stiff and unbelievable, and at those times, I felt disappointed and bored. But the characters of this show and especially some actors (FIAT and JJ) really stole my heart without me wanting them to. I fell in love with the couples, I loved analysing them and feeling their angst and understanding their character dynamics. I lived for their friendship and enjoyed watching how it all came together. Even some of the romantic scenes made me swoon and excited, and I was just so happy to watch these couples choose each other.

I also think the relationship dynamics, whilst sometimes annoying, was actually sweet and wholesome. Itt and Pai's love is so cute and memorable, and I understood why they wanted each other, they both helped each other so much, and I thought it was beautiful. Pure and Folk; everything, no words, they were incredible despite rushed and late, I enjoyed watching their love on my screen, and it left me so disappointed that we could have had more if the pacing was done right. Either way, despite the rants and criticisms this show was a gem to me, one of my favourites just because of the couple dynamics. I will miss it, and I will miss analysing it. But please NEW sort your self out, and stop with the slow pace directing; you're killing your shows, (just my opinion) but you're making me dread the shows I've been so excited for in 2021, and I really pray you won't ruin them. Nough said. 

Ratings:3.8/5 I can't rate it higher, but I do think it deserves credit, this show is very underrated as much as it annoyed me it's actually a decent show, it's very educational sometimes. It also has character development and growth. The romances are sweet and definitely should be paid attention to.

2. A CHANCE TO LOVE/ LOVE BY CHANCE SEASON 2

Genre/Themes: Comedy, Romance,  Drama, Friendship, Rich, poor dynamic, 

Country: Thailand

Verdict:

MGAYG was not the only show that New produced/ directed. There was this atrocity. No offence to everyone who loved this show, I love TinCan, I like most of the couples of the show, I didn't even complain when the show was rebooted, I didn't complain when there was not enough plot for the side couples for the first 8 episodes. But what annoys the hell out of me with this show is the lazy writing. I am so disappointed with this show, I realised that by the finale I was just tired and I was only watching it for some actors not even characters ( I was watching it to see a glimpse of Meen and Est), and it really made me sad. Because I started off with this show a bundle of joy, to see Tin and Can fall in love with each other again, I ignored when the haters said it was boring, awkward or stiff. I even accepted the massive amounts of product placement that was placed lazily and annoyingly. I was ready to forgive everything with this show. But I ended up feeling slighted, not me the actors should feel slighted, Cooheart, Mark Siwat, Gun, Title, Meen, Est should feel slighted by this show because this show wasted their potentials and only showed them for minutes in the whole 12 hours that this show aired for. I am so angry at the writer because she was lazy. She had clocked out when it came to this script (Though I don't blame her when everyone kept on sending her threats to how she told the previous story, she silenced her own creative ideas and muted everything, hence why Kengla and Techno's story was destroyed and became lazy and not needed and confusing, and Tum and Tar and Keen made no sense). Mame had given up on this show long before it aired. 

But as much as I am disappointed at her for doing so, I also have to take this back to New, he's the person again who ruined this show with his pacing and directing. I love New, but this year it wasn't it, he is the main flaw in both his shows, he doesn't know when to pace things properly, he rushes plots at the end, and he doesn't give enough time to side couples for them to make sense. He did well in season 1 I think, but this season was atrocious. I am heavily disappointed, and I want to forget this show exists. I do have to give credit to Mean because I think he carried the show, I think Plan was cute but he was uncomfortable, and he ruined a lot of moments for me despite how much I love his chemistry with Mean. So yeh LBC was a disappointment, but it still holds a special place in my heart because I did care about the cast (maybe not as much anymore because of their homophobia) but LBC was one of my first loved BLs to see such a disappointing follow up is just heartbreaking. 

Ratings:2.9/5 I couldn't bring my self to rate it even a three because I genuinely don't want to rewatch or think about this show again that's a pity because I genuinely love TinCan and MeenEst. But hey ho, c'est la vie. 

RELIEFS

Gaya Sa Pelikula

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, LGBTQ+ Education, Contract relationship, Haters to lovers

Country: Philippines 

Verdict:  We finally reached the end. And the way I didn't want this show to end, is just too much. I completed this show on the floor sobbing, clenching my heart and just reflecting and thinking about everything. One I was in shock, wasn't expecting something like this when I first watched this show. I had a lot of doubts despite the sneaky light in my heart from the comedy and energy and charisma from the show. I fell. Hard. For everything. Before I knew it, Fridays meant everything to me, if I could get to keep watching this show, it made laugh, smile, cry, weep, and it made me think and learn. It's weird how a show can mean so much to people, this show wasn't for me, it was a love letter to the LGBTQ+ community, a beautiful one, and with everybody's reaction, I think I can say for all of us, that this show was a masterpiece. It had everything, a plot that was so deep, interesting and unique, characters that felt real, understandable and relatable, lessons that made everyone think and question how they acted, how they viewed things, what we say, how we consider our selves, what is our story that we want to tell to the world?

 It's just incredible, not only that this show had terrific production, directing, acting and music that will stick with me for a long time. The music was perfectly used, perfectly mixed in, and it touched everyone's heart. This show left me feeling healed, it was weird, I don't know how to relate to the struggles of Internalised homophobia, but I get anxiety, I get feeling like you're not the main character in your story, I get feeling like your life was already planned out and your dreams don't matter, I get hiding and running away from the world and finding a place to stay in your head and find peace and I get feeling overlooked and misunderstood. Overall I get the fight for self healing, acceptance and love. And Vlad and Karl went through that, and it was so beautiful to see them grow and become what they wanted to be, even if they couldn't be together because of that. Everything including the side characters in this show meant something, each had their own story, flaws and importance for why they were there, and I loved it. Words can't explain how good this show is, and the fact that no one came into it,  knowing anything is just such inspirational and hopeful thing, out there, there are content and stories to consume that can teach and affect you and make you want to do something with your own. And Gaya Sa pelikula was one of those for me. I don't wanna say Goodbye, and hopefully, we get to see them again soon. 

Ratings: 5/5 I would give this more than 5 if I could. That's how much this show means to me. 

4. I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU/ TRANSLATE MY LOVE WITH YOUR HEART

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Wow. All I can say is wow. I find my self not able to talk about this show, because like what else can I say that everyone hasn't said. It's outstanding. No words. I think this show was just out of nowhere, I mean probably not; because it was a Nadao production but still, for a BL? Out of nowhere. The effort, the acting, the music, the production, the themes and the way it was all so perfectly told? It was a journey, I ended up at times also on the floor sobbing, shouting and just like feeling so single. Haha. But really this show is ridiculously good, it's like something that can't be fully explained, it's still a shock to me (and I really need to start believing in potentials of BLs more), it is, I'm just thankful I guess, for the 5 hours spent with this show, the number of essays derived from this show, the way Teh and Oh snuck in my heart and refused to leave. I think we all want a love like Teh and Oh, someone who completely takes your breath away, is selfless for you and is your number one supporter and fan. Someone who the room spins around for and your world only focuses on, someone who makes you brave.

And I think Teh and Oh found that with each other, and it was beautiful to witness, it was heartbreaking as well to see them struggle with it, it was also peaceful to reach the end and see them safe and secure with each other. ITSAY was everything, it also means a lot to me because the writing and directing are effortless, it's inspiring and beautiful to see how it came about, its so fulfilling to see how much effort went into this production. And I can't wait to see how Part 2 unfolds next year. I will say that with all the angst and longing, the ending did feel unsatisfactory because I just felt that all the tension and emotion invested just became really tame at the end, all the angst just fell apart so rapidly, and it felt weird that it ended in a hug? But with all the theories about sad endings and the other directions the writer could have gone with I'm happy it was a happy ending, and I'm delighted our boys reunited and became each other's most immense success/happiness. 

Ratings: 4.5/5  Yeh I want to give it a 5/5 but the ending like I said felt a little bit empty for me, I didn't feel satisfied or like complete but that's because there's a part 2 coming. Still is the best Thai BL ever created. And it deserves all the praise.

November was a ride, I think I've cried so much during these past weeks, but honestly, I'm so glad BLs are just improving and putting more effort in, BLs are no longer just for fujoshis to consume. Still, now they represent and educate about LGBTQ+ experiences, they feel relatable and understandable. They're not as toxic as before. We're getting healthier relationships, we're getting depth and unique plots, we're getting happy endings as well. It's very lovely to see the growth, and I can't wait to see what December brings or next year. I'm just so proud of these actors, I'm proud of actors who actually respect this genre and understands why people like it, for me I really enjoy learning about things I never thought or experienced, it humbles me, and it inspires me so much. I'm grateful for these shows. Hopefully, there's many more like ITSAY and GSP to come. Please. 

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 4: Varus

Unlike the other Champions I’ve covered, Varus’s history is surprisingly straightforward. He was released all the way back in 2012 and, as far as I can recall, was the first Champion to ever receive any sort of major promotional material in the form of a short comic. He’s very straight-forward in both concept and design: a man willing to sell his soul, his very humanity, for revenge on the people who took everything from him. Given that this was before Kalista was added to the game, Varus had little choice but take matters into his own hands by bargaining with a vaguely-defined Eldritch being who would give him the power he needed in exchanged for taking over his body.

Original lore here

Varus’s lore is a very traditional revenge story, albeit with a slightly interesting twist in that he is the maker of his own tragedy. Varus opted to place his duty over the well-being of family and, in the process, was unable to even TRY to protect them while his village was being reduced to burning rubble. Out of grief and rage Varus turned to bargaining with the very entity he fought so hard to keep confined now that he no longer has anything to lose.

I and many others liked Varus’s story, and to be honest, Riot could have honestly just kept him more-or-less the same when they updated him post-retcon. Just remove the mention of the League and maybe better-define what the black flames were, and you’d be good. In fact, Riot technically did the former, as his second lore is basically identical save for removing any mention of the League of Legends.

Now, it’s at this point that things start to get a little more complicated. Now, if you want a more comprehensive breakdown of the Darkin and their history, I advise you go check out the part centered around Aatrox and his long and convoluted history, but tldr: the Darkin were a race of beings of whom only five remained, and it was later confirmed with Rhaast that they’re specifically a race of living weapons with the ability to possess whoever wields them. Now, while Varus was specifically possessed by an ominous black flame called Pallas, many drew parallels between him and the other Darkin characters, especially since Varus’s also seemed to be alive.

Given that the flames were never really elaborated on or given a proper origin story, Riot decided that it would probably be best to just go ahead and retcon Varus into being a Darkin as well, and nobody had any real qualms with this. It was a common fan theory for years, so why not? Just change the story a bit so that the flames were actually just a Darkin bow all along and boom, you’ve pretty-much done all you needed to properly fit Varus into the new post-reboot Runeterra.

Well, apparently Riot did not feel this way, as it was with Varus’s 2017 retcon that they decided to finally give fans a proper origin story for who and what the Darkin were. That origin story goes a little something like this.

Alright, so Varus is now an alien. They decided to make Varus himself the Darkin, rather than the man who would later claim the bow. OK, that’s fine. I mean, the whole alien thing is kinda weird and still very vaguely explained, but again, my full thoughts on the history of the Darkin as a whole can be seen in the Aatrox analysis. What I think is most important here is that Riot made an attempt, however sloppy, to explain who and what the Darkin were and finally give context to why Aatrox and Rhaast are such big threats to the world.

Now, it’s the next change that got a lot of controversy around it. Rather than just change the name of the Ionian guard who let Varus possess him, the guy who lost his family to the Noxian invasion, Riot decided to replace him with a pair of entirely new characters: Valmar and Kai, a duo of gay Ionian hunters.

Now, I’m just gonna get this out of the way: I’ve got no real qualms about gay relationships in media. Hell, we have a few LGBT Champions in the game already, and even some in the broader expanse of the world. My main gripe comes from the introduction of Valmar and Kai themselves, and how they’re just sort of these… Nothing characters. I mean, in the first lore, we knew who Varus was. We may not have known him well, but we could at least get a general sense of his character: he was proud of his skill, committed to the duty given to him even at the risk of his family, but ultimately succumbed to grief and rage when his decision caused him to lose everything he held dear. Varus was a good man warped by the loss of his home and loved ones, and that made him a fairly compelling character.

Valmar and Kai are… Two gay hunters. That’s it. That’s literally all we know about them from the bio alone. I mean, yes, Riot released a comic to further expand on these characters, but if your answer to the questions raised in your story are “go and read this extra supplementary material for context,” that’s… A problem.

On the topic of supplementary material, Riot also released a music video about Varus. It’s… OK. I personally don’t care much for the song but the visuals alone are really well-done. It’s supposed to detail the conflict between Valmar, Kai and Varus, but most of the context behind it is explained in the comic and short story.

Honestly, Varus’s retcon is kind of baffling. I mean, he didn’t receive a visual rework, his kit remained pretty-much the same as it’s always been, and he doesn’t even have any new voice lines in-game to indicate that he’s three different guys all stuck in one body. In fact, people who play him in-game without reading the lore probably wouldn’t ever be able to guess as much. Riot went to so much effort promoting Varus’s lore update with a music video, a new bio, a new color story, and a three-part comic, but they really haven’t changed anything about him in the game itself. They put more effort into him than they do for most ACTUAL Champion VGU’s. So… Why?

Admittedly, this is where I’m going to delve a bit into conspiracy theory territory, but I genuinely believe this is a case of Riot trying to push League’s first openly queer relationship. Seriously, Valmar and Kai are the first time a character in League has been confirmed gay IN THE LORE ITSELF and not just through a random tweet. Now, the word “pandering” gets thrown around a lot these days, and I don’t really like to use it, but it really does feel like Valmar and Kai were added JUST to have a confirmed gay couple in the lore.

The fact that they’re not even acknowledged IN THE GAME ITSELF really makes the whole thing feel like an attempt to just appeal to the LGBT crowd, though I’ve seen plenty of people in that community react… Less than positively to the portrayal. I mean, two gay guys are literally trying to hold back a corruptive, even influence with the power of love. I don’t wanna delve too much into the political side of things here, but that’s honestly about as cliché and stereotypical as you can get. Fans in general were extremely displeased that the man they knew as Varus, this genuinely tragic figure from the original lore, was replaced by two guys who’s only defining character trait is how much they apparently love each other.

Apparently, these complaints came through loud and clear, as Riot would update Varus one final time after deciding to retcon the whole alien plotline. So, let’s have a look at how his current, canon bio handles him.

Alright, well… Riot heard the complaints, but whether or not they fixed him is another matter. It seems like they tried to give Varus back his original origin story, basically making the archer we new from his first bio Shuriman. The problem is that there’s significantly less context for him now; we don’t know anything about his family, we don’t know why the temple he’s guarding is so important, and the story never even explicitly states that his family died!

I guess it’s implied because the Ascended acknowledged his “sacrifice,” though him being rewarded by becoming a demigod doesn’t quite have the same impact as exchanging his life and soul for a shot at revenge. On top of that, Varus seems pretty quick to give up on the whole “sacred duty” thing, despite the story claiming that being the thing he “he held above all else.” It all feels like a botched effort to mix his original bio with the new Ascended lore that Riot tied in with the Darkin.

Then, of course, there’s Valmar and Kai, who are… Still just gay hunters. They haven’t been expanded on at all. They helped drive the Noxians off from their home, Kai was apparently wounded, and Valmar decides that dipping his lover in an ominous pool of evil to save his life is a bad idea. Seriously, the bio states that they “inadvertently” freed Varus, but there was nothing accidental about it! There was no bargain, they weren’t tricked, it was literally just one guy making a stupid decision that got him fused with his lover and an ancient evil being.

Also, can we address the fact that Varus still wants to avenge the destruction of his race? Who does he want to avenge? The other Ascended? The Ascended who literally warred with each other for centuries? The same Ascended that HE FOUGHT AGAINST during the civil war for control of Shurima? Did Riot just… Forget that he’s not an alien anymore in that brief paragraph? They stated earlier that he was a cruel, merciless killer who just went to slaughter whoever he was told to slaughter, so for some reason I don’t feel like he’d care all that much about his “race” being felled. Oh, and there’s also still the unnamed warrior queen, who I THINK is meant to be a precious Aspect of the Sun? It’s never really stated in the bio itself.

Alright, enough ranting. Varus’s current lore suffers from one major fault: it is trying way too hard to tell several stories all at once. It tells the story of Varus as a human, Varus as an Ascended, Varus as a Darkin, the “story” of Valmar and Kai, and how they got fused with Varus. The writers tried way too hard to cram everything into a single bio and, as a result, nothing is elaborated on. Nothing is really explained, we don’t get to know the characters who are involved in the gestalt entities now known as Varus, and reason for his current existence AS a gestalt entity are just kinda silly, if we’re being honest.

So, how can we fix this? I admit: this was a tough one. There were a lot of different directions I could go when rewriting Varus’s lore, but I decided to take the Kayn approach, where the human host in the focus of the bio. Originally, I did have a whole bio written out for Varus and how he became an Ascendant, but I ultimately realized that I was going to run into the same issue Riot did: trying to cram way too much into a single character overview. So, instead, I chose to focus in more on the story of Valmar and Kai, and how the Darkin Bow was freed after ages of confinement. Without any further ado, please enjoy.

For years, the Darkin Bow has remained confined within the Ionian city of Pallas. The bow’s true nature has long been lost to time, though legends say it holds the spirit of an ancient god from a vast desert land. Others claim that the bow itself is something much older and viler than history itself dares to remember. Whatever the truth may be, the people have Pallas have guarded the bow for generations, choosing only their most skilled warriors from the task. Among them, none seemed better-suited for the task than Kai and Valmar.

Kai and Valmar were inseparable since they were children. Kai, a prodigy marksman, was known for his sense of humor and fierce resolve. Though infamous for his pranks, Kai would never hesitate to step in and defend someone in need, no matter how poorly the odds stood in his favor. By contrast, Valmar had trained in the ways of swordsmanship since he was old enough to grip a blade. Diligent and studious, Valmar was what many considered a model samurai in the making, yet he was also unendingly curious about the world and the many wonders it held.

At a glance, Kai and Valmar seemed near-total opposites, yet the two formed an unbreakable bond from the day they met. Kai would often accompany Valmar to explore the surrounding wilderness, only for Valmar to shelter Kai whenever one of his pranks went awry. As each boy matured, mastering the bow and blade respectively, their bond became something deeper than simple friendship. Valmar was a part of Kai, and Kai a part of Valmar. Neither was complete without the other, and so it came as little surprise that when Valmar was chosen to guard the Temple of the Bow, Kai soon followed.

Together, Valmar and Kai drove off many would-be thieves seeking to claim the cursed weapon’s power as their own. The two fought as one, each arrow from Kai’s bow in perfect sync with every swing of Valmar’s blade. Eventually, they came to be known as the Locust and Mantis, for the whirring of Kai’s arrows and the elegance of Valmar’s blade. It was believed that none could stand up to their combined might… Until the Noxians came.

From their post at the temple, Valmar and Kai watched in horror as the invaders stormed their home, setting fires and killing anyone who dared to stand in their way. For the first time, two warriors found themselves at odds; Kai wished to help defend the people of Pallas, but Valmar insisted on protecting the temple. In the end, neither had much choice in the matter, for the Noxians soon had them cornered on the temple steps.

Valmar and Kai fought for hours, their combined might slowly waning against the invaders’ onslaught. Kai’s strength was the first to give out, yet before death could reach him, Valmar stepped in the way to shield his partner from the blow of a Noxian axe. Kai watched in horror as Valmar fell to the ground, lifeless. Enraged, Kai fired all the arrows he had left before taking up Valmar’s sword, slaying the Noxian forces assaulting the temple. Even still, he knew it would not be long before more came, seeking to claim the forbidden bow.

In that moment, Kai heard a voice calling to him from within the temple. It promised him vengeance and the strength to fight back. Driven by rage and grief, the wounded archer let the voice guide him inside, just as more Noxian invaders began their ascent up the temple’s stairs. It was there, in the darkness, that Kai at last set eyes upon the cursed weapon he and Valmar spent years protecting: a bow thrumming with unearthly power. Kai hesitated for only a moment before grasping the bow, letting its power wash over him.

Kai’s mind was filled with images and thoughts not his own: a vast desert empire, a man made a god, betrayal, war, and finally, imprisonment. These were the memories of Varus, an Ascended being who devoted his life to serving Shurima, only to be abandoned in his time of need. His bitterness and hatred had summoned the Darkin Bow, granting Varus the opportunity to seek revenge on those who had wronged him. In the end, Varus was sealed within the bow, becoming one with it… And now, he would become one with Kai as well.

As Varus’s memories filled Kai’s mind, the Darkin’s power corrupted his body. Varus prepared to usurp Kai’s form entirely, but to his surprise, the Ionian’s drive for vengeance matched his own. Kai was prepared to give anything to avenge Valmar, his fallen half, yet he would do so with his own hands rather than entrust the task to a fallen god.

Even as their minds fought, the archers’ new, fused body moved on pure instinct. One by one, the Noxian forces in Pallas were felled by crimson arrows born of pure malice. Seeing the corpses of his kinsmen and the ruins of his home only fueled Kai’s rage, which in-turn empowered the Darkin in his grasp. Finally, the two archers came to an agreement as the Noxians fled: Varus would lend Kai his strength, in exchange for the Ionian’s body once Kai’s vengeance was complete.

Now on borrowed time, Kai has but one objective: to find and kill everyone he holds responsible for the destruction of his home and the death of his partner. To Varus, however, the destruction of Noxus is but the first step toward a much larger goal: revenge against the gods who betrayed him, and the world that sealed him away…

So, that’s my take on Varus’s lore. Now, the first thing you’ll probably notice is that I only have one of the lovers being possessed. Frankly, I felt that this was probably the best direction to go with; Riot still hasn’t updated Varus in any meaningful way to include Valmar and Kai in any of his voice lines, and something tells me that, being owned by a certain Chinese company, they probably never will. Given the circumstances, I figured it was probably best to give him a backstory more befitting of his in-game voice lines, which still portray Varus as a man on borrowed time who’s giving what little he has left in pursuit of vengeance.

Even so, I decided to try my hand at fleshing out Valmar and Kai. The first thing I did was change them from random hunters to trained soldiers tasked with guarding the temple. This not only harkens back to Varus’s original lore, but it also gives them more of a reason to stand their ground against the Noxian invaders. I also wanted to flesh out their personalities a little more, because I’ll be completely honest: I legitimately couldn’t remember which one was which even after skimming back through the comic. I forgot that Kai was the one who was injured in the original story, not Valmar, but quite frankly it matters so little given how poorly their characters are fleshed out.

Now, as for Varus himself… Well, like I said: I did have a whole bio written out for him that ties into the new Darkin lore I introduced in my Aatrox analysis, but I decided to focus the story more on Valmar and Kai and only have that backstory briefly alluded to. A tad disappointing, I know, but hey, it’s still more than what we learned about Rhaast from Kayn’s bio.

So, that was Varus, the Arrow of Retribution, otherwise known as Riot’s botched attempt at LGBT representation. He’s a far cry from what he started out as, and yet, hilariously, he’s really not on account of them still not updating anything about him in-game. In that respect, the Varus you play as in League isn’t really even the same character(s) presented in the lore. While I still firmly believe that his backstory never needed to be changed so drastically in the first place, I least wanted to present the potential that this direction held, and how badly the opportunity was squandered.

Oh well. At least the music video still looks nice.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles)

Ptilopsis was in her room, recording a new entry in her diary, when there was a knock on her door. “Launching acknowledgement protocol,” she said as she went to open it.

“Good evening, Ptilopsis.” Her visitor, as it turned out, was Silence.

“Good evening, Silence.” The data analyst looked past the other Liberi, looking for something. “I have not seen Ifrit today.”

The physician nodded. “I know where she is, and she’s not the reason for my visit.”

“Processing...Would you like to come in?” She stepped out of the doorway, gesturing for her to enter.

“I would.” Silence looked around the room for somewhere to sit; the only furniture, however, was a twin-sized bed and a small desk where she kept her laptop. “It always surprises me how little there is in this room. No offense meant.”

Tilly shook her head. “None taken. How may I assist you today?”

“A few ways today. First, our research team has developed a new prototype for an Originum blockage decay formula, and I volunteered to take part in the initial clinical trials. They asked if I had a recommendation for a second candidate, and I would like to nominate you, if you’ll allow me.”

“Processing...” The pro-con calculations flashed through her brain like so much command code. “Analysis complete. Potential for error significant, but cost-benefit returns positive. I would like to participate in the trial.”

The other Liberi sighed. “Thank goodness. This one’s shown promise during the animal testing, so it may be the next step towards a proper cure, and...That can wait. Second, you and Ifrit are on good terms still, yes?”

“Affirmative.”

“She treats you as a mentor?” She watched Tilly begin running the numbers. “At the minimum, she treats you respectfully?”

A moment later, the analyst nodded. “Ifrit sees me as a constant in her life, to a similar extent to but in a different capacity than yourself, Silence. You’ve taken on the role of her primary caretaker, whereas she sees me as a close associate of yours who’s easy to find when she’s bored. Where is Ifrit, out of curiosity?”

“She’s with Flamebringer and Perfumer for today; they’re helping her with a botany project the Doctor recommended. I’m glad she’s comfortable with you...hmm.”

“Is something wrong?” The Liberi’s hair-feathers perked up. “You seem to be focusing on something intensely.”

Silence sighed. “I wouldn’t say anything’s wrong, I’m just worried about how you’ll respond to this question.”

“My response?...I see.” She had an idea of where this was going, based on what her physician had said as well as what she seemed to be avoiding.

“Yes...Do you remember our conversation the other day, after you came back from the field?”

Tilly nodded; she’d made sure to write about it in her diary, after all. “In detail. You were happy to hear about my wish to better understand my friends and colleagues, and we talked about our own relationship.”

“Right, we did.” The poor physician was clearly flustered over this. “I...I wasn’t entirely honest with you about my feelings towards you.”

“Your statement that you hoped for us to remain close friends?” Admittedly, she had looked similarly concerned at the time.

The other Liberi, who’d ended up leaning against the far wall of the room, walked over to Tilly’s bed and sat down, seemingly exhausted. “Yes. I...after working with you for the past few years, much like Ifrit, I’ve come to see you as a constant in my life. Someone I can’t see myself living without, and someone I, um...why is this so hard...”

“It’s alright, Olivia.” Ptilopsis sat down next to her, hands in her lap. “You wish to express that you find me attractive, if I’m reading your body language correctly?”

“Yes, thank God. Your analytical ability is no small part of that.”

The analyst blushed. “So this is how it feels to have someone confess to you...zzzzz...”

“Ah. Perfect timing...zzzzz...” Olivia slumped over, resting against Tilly’s shoulder as their narcolepsy struck them simultaneously - a surprisingly common occurrence for the pair, considering the probabilities at work.

“Boot-up sequence initiated...Olivia?” The Liberi turned her head to look at the physician resting against her tenderly. “I see, you fell asleep as well...How cute~”

As if on cue, she rebooted as well. “Hmm...Oh, Ptilopsis, I’m sorry-”

“No need to apologize...dear.” Tilly smiled warmly at her.

“Dear?” Silence smiled back. “You accept my confession, as flawed as it was?”

She nodded. “Errors within acceptable tolerances...although it’s not something you can practice, as far as I understand it. Dr. Silence is someone I also cannot imagine my life without, in more than the sense that you are my primary physician and closest colleague in the Medical team. I have remained at your side through our time at Rhine Labs and now here at Rhodes Island, and regardless of where your path takes you and Ifrit, I wish to be at your side through it all.”

“Thank you, Tilly.” Olivia’s smile wobbled for a moment as she held back tears.

“No, thank you, Liv.” Ptilopsis turned her body to match her head’s orientation, setting a hand on her shoulder. “I doubt I would have ever mustered the courage you did and admit my feelings to you...perhaps I wouldn’t have processed them at all, until it was too late.”

Silence reached out for a hug, and her dear friend was more than happy to oblige...along with a peck on the cheek, to affirm the new status of their relationship going forward. For a moment, Tilly worried about writing about this, but ultimately, the emotional impact of a moment like this? She could never forget it, never...

[vedj-f-bekuesu]

Ninjago Unpopular Opinions

Following on from my watch of the entire old series (combined with already having seen the last two series), I have enough material to work with to make a sort of unpopular opinion list. Some of these are lightweight, some of these are...uh, not so much. 

These aren’t in any particular order, this is more of a “I’ll just put them down as I remember them” sort of deal. That’ll be why they appear so messy. 

-Even after all this I prefer the newest seasons to the older stuff. There have been a surprising number of good to great older seasons, but I just love that hit of S1/S2 campiness with the more developed writing of later seasons. 

-Cole sucked as a leader, aside from in the pilot episodes. In the series proper he varied from complete meathead I hated (first part of S1), to having the same mentoring personality as everyone else (S1 - S2), to being consumed by the love triangle which made him pull a really shitty move (I don’t need to tell you what that refers to). He eventually gets ironed out in season 4, but Lloyd had already taken over as leader at this point. And rightfully so, even if Lloyd’s material got knocked from season 3 as a result. 

-I couldn’t really warm up to Ronin that much for some reason. I get the reason why he’s popular, since it was pretty obvious he was supposed to be like an off-beat mentor figure to Nya, but...I dunno, unlike with Dareth, it felt like his skeevy moments were more off-kilter, plus I didn’t really like his arc in Skybound (even if that was written out of reality). That being said, his was strong in Possession even with said moments. Maybe I just need a future appearance to see how I ultimately swing with him.

-I mentioned this in my Hunted overview, but I think Skylor’s just bland. Part of the problem is that she’s mainly just wedged in as an action girl and doesn’t have too many moments to interact outside of that. That’s mostly reserved for moments where she acts as Agony Aunt (which is fine, that shows that being supportive is in her nature), but she needs more to work with. And as an obvious offshoot, if Kailor is the intended endgame it sucks in its current form. They don’t have chemistry or a decent dynamic.

-The other Ninjago ship I don’t particularly like out of all of them is...actually Geode. Yeah, Rebooted obviously wasn’t good for it considering the love triangle, but what actually did more damage to it for me was Skybound. It went so far in trying to oversteer back that it beat you over the head with the fact they were making Cole and Jay best friends after said love triangle (made really obvious when Jay is worried about Cole’s reaction to him seeing Nya in his reflection in both Possession and Skybound, when Cole isn’t even phased when he’s told). It was just really off-putting.

-Jay is a better big brother figure to Lloyd than Kai. Yeah, Kai’s true potential moment in Rise of the Serpentine hinged on realising he (and the others, mind) were supposed to protect Lloyd, they all spent Legacy of the Green Ninja’s first half being Lloyd’s proper mentors, Zane’s death prompted Kai to hover with thoughts of the Green Ninja again (which seemed to me for different reasons to being envious of power at the start, although its handling was very clunky after that), and he had the first episode in Possession which was arguably the strongest showing of a dynamic with Lloyd, but Possession didn’t have much about it outside of said episode, and the show seemed to just forget it from that point beyond some very, very fleeting and sparse bits. In the more modern seasons, it feels like Jay’s stepped up to be more supportive of Lloyd on a more consistent basis (which would make sense with the common fanon that Jay is the youngest of the original Ninja, he’d be closer to Lloyd’s age). It’s something I kind of want tapped into in a proper way at some point.

-Sensei Garmadon is a bit overrated. Just a smidge. When he’s good, he’s good, but most of the time he’s no more interesting than Wu would be in the same position. And I feel like they didn’t really develop his fatherly bond with Lloyd too well despite that being what his character was there for. Again, aside from moments where he was really good.

-Most underrated season of the old batch for me was the last minute shock, March of the Oni. I did enjoy Day of the Departed (which has a worse reputation), but I can understand why someone wouldn’t like it considering how bare it was. March of the Oni is far from my favourite season but I thought it came together really well, so the fact it’s generally panned legitimately confuses me. I guess Hands of Time would be a contender too, but I think opinion on that has swayed in its favour after the new seasons came out (and Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjutsu would be here if I included the new batch) so that’s why it’s edged out. 

-Most overrated season for me was undeniably Tournament of Elements. It’s not my least favourite season, but Rebooted and Hunted are pretty maligned to begin with, while Tournament of Elements is usually considered one of the top ones. It starts strong, has an interesting premise and there are ideas that are executed well. The thing is that the elements that people tend to praise the season for are ones I actually think the writers dropped the ball on, hence why this ended up the toughest season to get to the end of, even more than Hunted. It’s a shame, but it’s just not for me. 

-Best ninja suits...honestly, I don’t really notice the suits unless they’re really bad, because I’m used to franchises where costume changes mark radical permanent redesigns, and are not just par for the course of the brand (it makes perfect sense with a toy brand who want to sell you the same characters over and over again but still). Not counting the S11 suits since they weren’t part of the old batch, I guess I’d honestly say the ZX suits, maybe? They’re simple, but they’re cute and very distinct. Also Sons of Garmadon Cole channelling the Movie costume was a very good move (and arguably looks even better ripped up in Hunted aethetically), and Kai’s suit was bleh in Sons of Garmadon but its overhaul in Hunted was way better. Also, just as a wildcard, Rebooted Lloyd looks like a more finely tuned ZX suit. Actually, just one last bit on a tangent to note a difference the show makes to the figures that demonstrates the figures’ limitations. For Kai and Jay’s S11 suits, their figures invoke similar feels (because underneath the accessories they do have a lot in common), whereas they feel very different in the show because while Jay sticks to the figure and looks snug, Kai has a lot exposed around the neckline, as if his gi is hanging loosely on the shoulders and should join Cole in the “For fucks sake it’s an ice realm wear a jacket please” club. 

-Worst ninja sui--what the hell happened to Cole and Nya in Hands of Time?! Nya’s main issue is that it’s trying to work too many colours and they just don’t mesh well. I think this was the time they were partially adapting the movie’s change, but they were clinging onto her having red to both represent Samurai X and her ties to her brother, but they should have just picked one or the other because it just doesn’t work the way it did in Skybound. And Cole’s outfit is just hideous. Its balance of colours and accents is all off-kilter, and to top it off the shoes just don’t work and somehow look like socks with sandals. I didn’t know that was doable with a whole suit. Finally, on a general note, I’m not a fan of when the suits are all very similar bar some very, very minor differences. One could argue that it makes them look more like a team, but I prefer the individual personality to come out. 

-It’s hard to judge the best and worst episodes, honestly. The seasons from Tournament of Elements onwards are done so tied to each other that picking an episode is rather difficult outside of designated finales (or the odd Jay-focused/Zane-focused episodes that happened in seasons 7, 8 and 9). I guess for best I’d say stuff like The Quiet One, or The Fall, or Grave Danger, or stuff like that would be up there. Worst episodes in those seasons are even harder, because usually it’s how arcs over episodes are written that get to me, not individual episodes.  This all being said, it’s much easier to do this with the more episodic first three seasons, and to that end I would still say that Tick Tock is my favourite standalone episode still, and Home is still my least favourite. For all the times the writing has dropped the ball, nothing has legitimately pissed me off more than what this episode did because it’s in its own category of bad writing. 

-There have been some concepts thrown in that, while they definitely wouldn’t work out in the long term, make for interesting snippets of what-ifs. Like, I loved the bit where Jay was a show host and got around the stage using his lightning powers. That seems like such a natural fit outside of his ninja identity I wish I’d thought of it. Imagine Bradley Walsh using lightning to get around the studio, that would be metal as fuck.

-On the other side of that coin, the bizarro Ninja are the single most overrated concept in the show. I don’t like Scourge the Hedgehog to begin with, but he at least had some efforts to make him unique (that fell flat, but eh). The bizarro Ninja are the equivalent of Evil Sonic; cliche and undeveloped. They’re not even useful for the cliche idea of framing the actual Ninja since even though they’re seen doing delinquent behaviour, this is never addressed. Heck Nadakhan was more effective with this idea. Thing is that I can’t blame the show at all for this. While the concept is naff, the show itself treats them as they actually were; Garmadon’s puppets and the scheme of the episode. Aside from bizarro Jay’s behaviour to Nya being full of unfortunate implications, there is no greater purpose for their existence, and the show never tries to do it again. It’s really the fans that have inflated their appearance in this case because I guess the idea of “take this nice character and give them an evil version” is just so appealing to the teenage demographic. Screw that, corruption is way more fun and interesting. 

-What I can blame the show for is the single worst execution of an idea, because to this point I still consider Kai’s green ninja “arc” in Tournament of Elements to be the single worst executed arc (yeah, even worse than the love triangle, but that one is still bad). The sad thing is it managed to convince me that it wasn’t such a bad concept when they explained it by being an offshoot of his depression following Zane’s death (before that I was very sceptical it could fit it in naturally after the last three seasons). But then it was used once when Skylor tried to get Kai to stab Lloyd in the back during the skating match (which Kai completely rebuffed and seemed over his depression-rooted negative vibes on Lloyd), and once more when he was overcome by the power of the staff. The latter is especially infuriating since this would have been the perfect opportunity for a character moment. Like, Lloyd and/or Skylor could have fought to get Kai out of the trance of the staff and see that his friends mean more to him than having power. It practically writes itself and is a perfect set-up. What happens instead is that Cole is technically the one to save Kai from himself as he rams the Roto Jet into the chamber and makes the rocky serpentine structure come crashing down on Kai. Maybe interesting to read into if you want a Lava reading of the show, but in that moment is just a wasted opportunity. Come on!

-Actually, also talking about other bad concepts, I don’t miss those weird energy dragons they could summon starting from Tournament of Elements. The dragons in Rise of the Serpentine/Legacy of the Green Ninja were fine because they had a logical reason for being there and actually were integrated into the plot (so you got to watch them being maintained and having moments with the ninja). The energy dragons in Tournament of Elements existed for one character as a plot thing (Zane’s, because he always had the good plots in the earlier seasons), but then everyone else suddenly could do it too and they became convenient plot devices and nothing else. Airjutsu I was more okay with because it seems more like a tool they’d use and could be integrated better, but I can also see why that stopped being used (outside of that one bit in Prime Empire).

-The Elemental Masters are both over-hyped and underdeveloped. The normal civilian cast really got the shaft once the series decided it wanted to explore this lore, yet the only ones I really got interested in in any way were the villain EMs and Karlof. And even Karlof is overlooked by the fandom, by the looks of it. 

-Jay actually came off the best in the Rebooted love triangle. He’s not entirely perfect, but he is essentially the biggest victim as a result of it in that season, and what Nya and Cole did either bordered on or was outright callous for different reasons. I think if people gave Jay the biggest shtick for Rebooted’s events, it’s influenced with how Skybound botched trying to patch it up. 

-The movie was a net positive influence on the show. Aside from me preferring the designs of the movie anyway, it forced the characterisation to actually pick a lane for each character and stick to it, mitigating a lot of the haphazard characterisation issues. The inconsistency in later seasons is tone instead, which is maybe why people thought the characterisation was inconsistent between Sons of Garmadon/Hunted and March of the Oni/SotFS (when really, they weren’t that different if at all). The show also made a good call in ignoring movie Zane’s characterisation; as much as I enjoy it in the film, it really didn’t gel up with what the show had done with him, so trying to force it in would have been more of a characterisation jolt than any of the early season stuff. 

-I’m generally fine with Jaya and Pixane. The former I can see why people would be off about it because there have been some badly written periods for them, but I think on the whole it manages to hold it together. The latter was written in surprisingly smoothly given the circumstances, so it’s no wonder I don’t see discourse about it. 

-Oh yeah, I don’t get Wu/Faith as a ship. Like, she was the cool drill instructor/aunt to everyone, including Wu. This is a quick one because it’s just a very small aside.

-Also I can’t really get behind Polyninja either. If the characters had a fairly even spread of interaction and moments between each other I could, but the spread ends up like lots of moments between Cole and Kai varying from little moments to huge dollops, and Cole and Jay having a whole best friends affirmation arc due to the fallout of the love triangle, to Kai and Jay having barely anything to work with and anyone with Zane getting a couple of table scraps occasionally. It’s not even enough.

-Following on from that though, Zane feels the least integrated with the group dynamic in general. He’s has some of the best plots and stories in the show, but nearly all of them have been focusing on him solo. And not even SotFS or Prime Empire helped with this one. Hopefully MoM can smooth this one out a bit. 

-Finally for this post, after going through all those seasons I still prefer Nya’s movie voice to her show voice by a significant margin. Sorry Kelly Metzger. 

I think that’s it. I’ve actually been on this for a week but I’ve been allowing time for more thoughts to come to me, because there have been a lot of thoughts coming in batches. I think I’ll leave it at this though, because I think most of it is covered pretty well.

I have at least two more text posts like this planned, but they’re not strictly about the old seasons so I’ve left them for after. I’m looking forward to them though, because they’re on specific topics and that is my bread and butter pudding. 

[buns-with-a-book]

Into the Spardaverse 1 - First Meeting

The first of seven chapters for Into the Spardaverse, where we end up in Limbo City and wish we hadn’t. This takes place after the events of the main game and Vergil’s DLC in said game. 

Fandom: Devil May Cry, DmC (Devil may Cry) Characters: Dante, Reboot Dante, Vergil, Reboot Vergil, OC (what a party). Tags: @nimnox @furyeclipse @harlot-of-oblivion @synchronmurmurs @queenmuzz

Summary: When a portal suddenly opens to another world, Dante, Vergil, and Cassandra are sucked into the world of Limbo City. Separated, they work to reunite, despite the circumstances.

“Come on Dante, let’s clean up this rabble!” Cassandra cried, hand resting on Dante’s shoulder. A playful grin was on her face, staring down the Lusachia demons that were shaking before her. Vergil hummed thoughtfully, ice blue eyes flickering around the battlefield. They were cleaning up some demons in an abandoned warehouse, light streaming in from the broken windows. The Lusachia demons had been causing havoc around the area so they had been called to deal with the demons before they caused more problems. Cassandra glanced at Vergil and Dante followed her gaze. 

“Something’s off.” The elder son of Sparda murmured. 

“What is it, Verge?” Dante asked, rolling his shoulder. Cassandra let go of him, Astra glimmering in her hand. The Lusachia demons let out a roar, a rush of arcane power filling the area. Cassandra looked down.

“RUN!” She yelled, a moment too late. At their feet, a portal yawned open. Cassandra, mid-step, fell into the yawning portal. Vergil unsheathed Yamato, intending to slice the demons where they stood. Dante sprinted forward, only to fall into the very portal they had opened up. He twisted his body, reaching out to his brother before the darkness of the portal overwhelmed his senses. 

“Verge! Cass!” His voice seemed to echo around him as he fell. He heard screaming, the death of the Lusachia demons, before his head hit something hard.

“Shit…” The devil hunter groaned, holding his head. It wasn’t hard enough to knock him out but it was hard enough to still hurt like a bitch. He slowly sat up, looking around. Instead of the warehouse, he was in an alleyway. Well, it certainly wasn’t Red Grave City. The sky looked too...green for that. 

Wait. Green? 

He sat up, quickly getting on his feet. Leaning against the brick wall, he moved to the end of the alleyway to peer around the corner. The sidewalk- no, the entire city -was lifeless. It was almost as if it was abandoned, it’s inhabitants having long fled. Well, it didn’t help that the city was in one hell of a state. For one thing, it stunk like blood and shit, the telltale sign of demonic activity. There was a hint of something else, something he couldn’t quite place. The closest he could think of was sulfur, but worse. 

“So...nobody around here, huh?” He hummed. “Kinda wish I got placed somewhere more...lively.” Not that he had a choice in the matter, portals were weird. Vergil explained it once, something about the Underworld and the Human World not being a one-to-one mirror, some more metaphysics, and something about things being more approximate than specific.  

But then again, it wasn’t Yamato that dragged them here. And even then, they would all still be together. So that made him wonder...what power did the Lusachia demons invoke to make that portal? And where were they? The demonic energy seemed to blanket the place, he couldn’t sense his brother nor Cassandra. Cassandra would stick out like a sore thumb, always followed by a herbal scent. 

Oh no. 

Oh no.

The thought of his adopted sister in danger was what sent him running. Pulling upon Cavaliere, he hopped on the demonic motorcycle and raced down the empty streets. As much as he knew Cassandra could hold her own, they were in a strange-ass city that reeked of demons and was devoid of humanity. He had no idea if Vergil was with her or not and a part of him was hinting that he wasn’t if he himself landed in that alleyway alone. 

Harshly turning around the corner, his eyes met the source of the demonic stench: a small group of metallic looking demons. He could tell they were still demonic, despite the metal that clung to their bodies like armor. He grinned, riding into the demonic horde. He pulled upward, the tire of Cavaliere digging into the body of the demon. It let out a tinny scream as it fell. Dante glanced around before leaping up, dodging the razors they wielded. He landed back on Cavaliere, revving it up to life and swerving into the horde. Their screams echoed in the air as they fell to Cavaliere. 

“How’s that for road rash!” Dante yelled, a wide grin on his face, jumping off Cavaliere. He looked to the side, seeing a demon crawl to an alleyway. He was about to pull out Ebony and Ivory before a pair of gunshots rang out through the air. Dante blinked, looking up. Standing in the alleyway was a young man, a punk with white hair and blue-grey eyes stared at the demonic corpse at his feet. On his back was a thin long sword while his hands held a pair of still smoking pistols. The punk looked up at him, giving him a look that Dante could only presume was judgmental.  

“The fuck are you?” 

“Depends on who’s asking.” Dante grinned. “What’s that sword on your back kid?” 

“This?” The punk looked back at the sword, pulling the pistols away. He pulled the sword forward, giving it a spin. 

“Rebellion.”

“...that...toothpick is named Rebellion?” Dante stared at the long sword. “That’s a nice joke kid.” The punk shot him a glare. Twirling the handle of the long sword, Rebellion turned into a silvery light-blue scythe. 

“How’s that for a toothpick?” 

“Well, that’s certainly impressive.” Dante clapped. “Well, what’s your name, kid?” 

“Dante. And you?” Dante raised an eyebrow. Well, that would certainly make things confusing. 

“Well, what do you know, that’s my name too. Small world.” He said with a lazy smile. The punk (he wouldn’t call him anything else, because he did look like a punk) raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously. 

“Yeah...small world...” He shrugged. “So. What are you doing here?”  

“Oooh...you know…” Dante leaned back, resting on Cavaliere’s seat. “I just dropped in. Mind telling me what’s the name of this town?” 

“Limbo City.” 

“Doesn’t sound lively.”

“Well, most people fucked off after Mundus was slain by yours truly.” He flashed a cocky grin. “Limbo City doesn’t have much left aside from demons.” 

“But you’re sticking around.” 

“Only because I felt something...off.” The punk stepped forward, the cocky grin fading into a more critical gaze. Dante lazily shrugged his shoulders.

“Don’t look at me kid. I just arrived.” 

“Alone?” 

“Well…” Dante hummed. “I diiid have a little sister with me.” The punk raised an eyebrow. “Blonde, dresses in white, wields a rapier.”

“And you call Rebellion a toothpick…” The punk hummed. Dante stood up, Cavaliere disappearing as Devil Sword Dante appeared in his hand. 

“Well, let’s just say I’m used to bigger swords.” He grinned, impaling the sword into the ground. He leaned against it, grinning cockily at the visibly surprised punk. “So, did you see her?” The punk looked down the road. 

“Yeah, I did. But there’s this hot new Demon King who’s throwing his weight around like he owns the place. He took her.” That cocky grin disappeared.

“Well. Shit.” 

---

Cassandra paced around the bedroom, her prison cell. Not moments after she arrived in this world, she had been pounced on by demons. Despite her best attempts, she had been overwhelmed. In the fray, a flying demon grabbed her and took off. She had a good look at the demon, humanoid but with scarlet wings and a porcelain look. It was rather disconcerting but, given that they were high above the ground, she didn’t want to take her chances. The flight had given her a view of where she landed: a city choked by green clouds and the scent of demons, of blood and feces and sulfur but warped by something she couldn’t place. The demon flew towards what looked like a mansion. Cassandra gagged, the demonic aura radiating from it making her feel sick. 

‘By the Earthmother, wherever I am is gross. This isn’t Red Grave City, that’s for certain!’ She thought. The demoness fluttered to the ground, meeting a gatekeeper of sorts. The gatekeeper demon, a creature of metal twisted into a facsimile of angels, opened the gates with a strained creak. The demoness fluttered inside, the gate closing behind her with an equally shrill creak. She flew through the mansion, Cassandra reminded of opulent homes from Red Grave City but the hint of decay told her that not all was well, before being thrown into the bedroom that was her prison cell. 

Which was where she was now, pacing and waiting. She wasn’t dead, which was a good sign, but she was still a prisoner. Suddenly, she felt an immensely strong demonic presence at the door, laced with the feeling of cold. She turned, watching the door open. Her hand trembled, waiting for the moment to summon Astra. Much to her surprise, the door opened to reveal a human man with white hair swept back, dressed in a dark blue overcoat with a rather ornate lining (if the coattail was anything to go by), and blue dress pants. She was reminded of Vergil, if not for those unsettling red eyes. They betrayed the power this man held, the power that made her stay Astra for now. She balled her trembling hand into a fist, to keep her rapier at bay. Now was not the time of fighting, not yet, not while she had no idea where the brothers were or where she was.

“Who are you?” She whispered, keeping her gaze steady on the man before her. “And where am I?”

“You are in no position to make demands.” 

“Forgive me, I was just brought here without any explanation as to why and everything reeks of demons.” She glanced to the window, to the city that lay beyond the glass. She was trying hard to be cordial, tactical, just like Vergil would be doing at this very moment. 

“Very well.” The man said, but Cassandra found that hint of a smile too unnerving to trust. “My name is Vergil.” Cassandra let out a gasp. “And this…” He gestured to the city beyond her window. “Is my kingdom, Limbo City.” 

[chaniters]

Cellmates

Awan and Elyise have time to talk, as they seek to escape their cell.

Part 13 of @kruk-art‘s Awan Cormac’s fic, and the longest thing I’ve written so far. The end is nigh though.

___________________________________________

“Are you awake?!” A voice says to your left. 

You turn lightly, to notice Elyise chained to the ceiling, her feet dangling over the ground.

Looking up you realize you are similarly restrained, and that you are dangling just as she is. 

“ARE YOU AWAKE?” she insists. 

“I think I am” you state.

“About time” she grumbles.

“What’s going on…?” you asks just an instant before your mind decides to reboot and provide all the missing memories. “Oh. Reaper is a jerk.” Your suit seems to be still on, and there’s a pair of burn marks where Reaper shot you. So this is where you ended up it seems.

“Precisely.” she nods. 

“He got you too?” you ask rather calmly. By your standards, being suspended is pretty tame… unlike the farm’s numerous pressure tests. 

“No, I just came to stretch my arms… OF COURSE, HE GOT ME TOO, GENIUS!!” she states dangling to the side furiously.

“Ugh, don’t yell, my head’s killing me” 

“He’s the one who’s gonna kill us if we don’t do something”

“Relax. If he wanted us dead we wouldn’t be even talking up here” 

“RELAX? You want me to relax?!”

“I’m the one who should be mad, you’re darn liar, remember? What the fuck is your deal, Elyise?”

“My deal? Getting out alive is my deal, always!”

“You worked for Hollow Ground, you had links with the Loanshark and then you helped Reaper? What side are you on?!”

“I’m on my own side ok?. Someone has to be,” 

“You could have mentioned that YOU HELPED KILL HOOD!”

Oh, that struck a chord. She turns to you, angrily. 

“Do you think it was my idea? I don’t know what you heard, but I was FORCED to help in that.”

“You could’ve said NO!”

“Because that was a great choice for me, right?  If I hadn’t helped Hollow Ground would have thrown me out for mom to find. She had precogs in her little cult. Wouldn’t have lasted a day on my own”

“You also helped Reaper murder a ton of people just to keep your secret!”

“Those people? They’re SCUM! And I don’t know if you noticed but everyone in their right mind approved of what Catastrofiend did”

“So if you’re so happy about it, then why aren’t you helping Reaper anymore?!” 

“BECAUSE HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT YOU GUYS, OK?  I DONT KNOW WHY HE DID THAT! HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD CATASTROFIEND TO LEAVE WHEN YOU SHOWED UP. I QUESTIONED HIM AFTER OUR CHAT, AND HERE I AM!”

“Hurting us, huh? That’s what bothered you? What about, oh I don’t know DATING CHARGE for example? Did someone force you to do that too?!

“I knew this was about it! You never liked me around him! I saw how you looked at us!”

“That’s not...”

“Admit it already!” You’re definitely NEVER going to admit something like that. 

“You know he worshipped Hood, and you’re accessory to his murder! Don’t you think he had at least the right to know about something like that?!”

“...” she starts to say something, but her voice breaks and she looks away.  You won the argument, clearly.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought!” you say annoyed, looking at the binds. Maybe you can find some way to get out and leave her here.

“...I just wanted to be normal, ok?” she says after a while, turning back at you. 

“Normal?”

“He talked to me about so many things… And he listened… And I… I had never been with anyone before… and he was so darn nice I just… I just wanted to be happy”

“Don’t. Just don’t! Don’t you dare... No.. don’t you… crap” you say looking at her teary eyes.

It’s not the physical crying that does it but the inner mess of emotions. It actually shuts you up, mainly because you understand where she’s coming from all too well. 

Are you just being one big hypocrite? 

You escaped the farm to kill someone in the first place.

Shit, she’s making it harder to hate her. 

“What?” she says as you fall silent “aren’t you going to go on about how am I a total piece of shit?”

“... No…” you grumble

Silence. Only interrupted by the clinking of the chains.

If only you could walk out of the room and have some time to think about it… But no. You have to return to reality. 

Realty being you’ve both been captured by a skull-faced homicidal maniac

“Listen… I assume you’ve tried to get us out with your telekinesis?” 

“I did. There’s some sort of security system that prevents it. 

“Can you show me?”

She nods slowly 

“This cell gets even funnier when I try that”  You can sense her concentrating and…. 

The walls start shinning in bright blue, the room filling with static, followed by a deafening booming sound from every side, stronger. She screams something… and then you’re screaming something too… so loud… 

Until it all dies out, your ears still ringing echoes of it. 

“Ugh, this is a nasty one… Sonic pain inducers” you yell.

“WHAT?” she yells back, still half-deaf.

Probably on par with some of the Farm’s tests. Just your luck, Awan, you say to yourself. 

A console lights up on the far end, with Charon’s logo on it…

“For the fourth time Prisoners, I advise you not to attempts that again. This room can be electrically magnetized and will counter any telekinetic attempt to escape. It is also equipped with sound blasting technology that will castigate unruly behavior.” The console shuts down soon after the last word is said. 

“Shit!” you say

“I know. Do you have any skills to escape something like this?”

You study the binds. They seem simple chains and manacles and you’ve got nothing to pick the lock with. THere’s no other mind than Elyise’s close enough for you to reach either.

“Nope”

“Then we’re royally fucked” she states.

“Indeed” you sigh.

“Distract Charon. I will try to send a telepathic message to the rangers” you send the words into her mind so Charon won’t overhear. She seems startled, but nods in silence. 

You start clearing your mind for the task at hand. Never attempted communication at this range, and there’s no guarantee that it would work at all even if you had been practising. It doesn’t help that there are millions of people in Los Diablos and you want to find a single mind.  

Piece of cake, Awan.  

________A few hours later._______________

Your arms hurt like hell from dangling and you’ve lost track of time, but you’re not giving up, repeating the message over and over… impossible to tell if you are being heard or not.  

“HEY CHARON!” She yells. Elyise has been doing a superb job of distracting the AI. You wish she wasn’t that good because it distracts you as well. 

The screen turns on, and the display comes online once more. If AI’s had human personalities you would say Charon is surprisingly gossipy. He probably doesn’t get many people to chat with since the Defenders Society disbanded. 

“What? I’ve already told you I’m not going to let you go”

“Just wanted to ask you when did Reaper decide he wanted to kill all those drug-dealers”

“Whatever do you mean? Master has killed drug-dealers many times in the past.”

“Oh c’mon! He hasn’t killed anyone in almost a decade!”

“It’s true… he took a long hiatus after retiring from the crime-fighting life. His focus fell almost entirely upon charity projects after his cancer got worse”

“Was it hard, overcoming it?”

“He did not overcome it.

“What do you mean? He told everyone he was doing great!”

“That was a lie he repeated many times. His doctors gave him months to live and he dismissed them. And then the Hauswald foundation burned down, sending him into a deep depression”

“What?” you interrupt. Elyise gives you an angry look, her mind telling you to focus on your own thing. She’s right… back to send your signal.

“Months to live? Is he dying? I saw him standing up earlier!”

“He was dying, right until he wasn’t. My research into the subject he brought in changed everything!”

You can barely hear what they’re saying… you’re picking up something… something getting closer...

“You mean my mother?”

“Affirmative. The subject possessed impressive regenerative properties never seen before on a boost. I theorized that a series of transfusions could heal him by making his own tissues more competitive than the cancer-cells”

It’s clear now. Someone picked up your message and is very close to Reaper’s complex… 

“He has… my mother’s blood?”

“Indeed. He was reluctant, thus I had to administer it hidden in his medication.”

“You… gave it to him without him knowing?!”

“Indeed. I would do anything to preserve my master.”

“Aren’t there secondary effects?”

“Oh yes. Many in fact. I discovered most of them after the third transfusion took place”

“What side effects?!”

“Psychological mostly. Sharp aggression increases, self-restraint, almost nullified. Morality ambiguity and…”

Someone’s walking up to the Manor’s gate… with a vengeance. You sense some sort of fight taking place. 

“I am sorry. Someone’s being rather rude at the main gate. We can finish this conversation later” the screen says before turning off.

“Did you get someone?” she asks

“I think so?”

“Who?”

“I’m not really sure… I think it’s…”

The sound of fighting interrupts you, along with blaring sirens.

There is only one presence in the complex asides from her, and it doesn’t take you long to figure out who. 

“It’s Anathema!” you say. “They’re fighting a lot of security drones”

“about time we got some good luck. Guide them to us?!”

It’s not hard to send Anathema a signal they can follow. They’re used to working with you. 

Finally, you can hear the noise coming up to your cell, with gunshots and skittering of metallic legs and the sizzling of acid.

“CEASE AND DESIST INTRUDER! THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY AND YOU ARE TRESPASSING!”

“I’ll give you trespassing and then some, you dumb toasters!”

“GET AWAY FROM  THE PREMISES!”

“Will you shut up already? I can’t hear my own thoughts and I think I’m getting some that are not even mine…”

“Get out before you are hurt human!” 

“Hurt? You know your spider-things can’t hurt me! I’ve gone through three dozens of them already!”

“Losses are meaningless. I have an immense reserve of combat drones!”

“And I have like the worst case of reflux in mankind’s history, so give me a break will you?” he sounds like he’s just in front of you now… 

“HERE! WE’RE IN HERE!” You shout out, with Elyise joining you.

“About time! I thought I was going mad with all the talking toasters”

The door starts smoking and dissolving under the acid shower from the other side. 

Soon, Anathema steps in, looking up at the two of you. 

“Oh, so you’re doing some stretching up in here?” he jokes, looking relieved.  

“Very funny” you answer. 

“Yeah, hilarious”  Elyise adds

“Oh c’mon, It was a good one-liner!” he grins looking up at the chains. “Now how do I get you out without dripping acid on your hair…”

“Can you deal with that box on the corner?” Elyise says looking down at it. 

“Can do” Annie states, letting a few drops off at it. Always amazes you, how it goes through almost anything.

Elyise inhales deeply and puts her powers in motions, both sets of chains bursting open to pieces. She floats gently to the ground…. While you land less gracefully.

“Ouch,” Anathema says helping you. 

“My poor arms” Elyise complains, stretching some. Yours do too, but you’re a bit more used to this kind of stuff.

“How long have we been here?” you ask. 

“A day and a half? I realized something was wrong when you didn’t come back… But I expected you were behind it all” Annie says looking at Elyise. “No offense”. 

“I do get that sometimes…” she sighs

“It’s not her Annie. It was Reaper all along”

“R… Reaper? Are you for real?”

“Afraid so…”

“RETURN THE PRISONERS AND SURRENDER!” Charon’s voice reaches from afar, the sound of metal legs coming in closer.

“Ahh crazy computers, love me. Ok, you two stay behind me, and don’t step on the acid, ok?” he says grinning.

The way out is plagued with spider terror drones but they are simply no match for Anathema, who marches you to the exit without a hitch. You find your gun on the way out along with the data rod. Elyise gives you a terrifyed look as you take it, but you don’t say a word about it to Annie. 

Not yet, at least. 

___________________________________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[lesboinspace]

AtLA Zine Piece

This was written for @atlazine :D I was assigned Air so I wrote this focusing on Aang, but also added as many characters who’ve impacted him as I could~ Look out for leftover sales!

A Hero’s Love

Word Count: 1,998

Rating: G

Summary: About a decade since awakening from his snow globe, Aang prepares himself for his most pressing challenge yet: summoning the courage to propose to the most incredible person he's ever met. With the help of many old friends, Aang will do just that without looking too much like a babbling, love-stricken fool.

Aang fell in love with Katara the moment their eyes met. Of course, he hadn’t known to correlate such awe with newfound love right away, but even as a child he could sense how the waterbender left a mark on him within moments of occupying the same space. The girl's gaze had been full of concern and curiosity, her aura demanding the younger boy's attention even while his chilled mind was rebooting after spending a century as a popsicle.

She was, and still is, the most beautiful soul he's ever encountered. That day, as Katara’s ocean-esque eyes collided with Aang's cloudy greys, he knew she was special. Years later, Aang's feelings for Katara haven't dimmed, only intensified with each second he shared at her side. Now, blossoming into an adult, the Avatar was set on acting out what was once mere fantasy to him when he was young: asking his beloved to spend the rest of her days with him.

But before doing so, Aang wished to spread word of this decision and, consequently, the joy that comes with it. Aang would finally propose to the woman that had saved his life and stolen his heart while spreading the jittery excitement he feels with those who've supported him along the way. Eager to share, the Avatar had soared through the skies once again, saddled on Appa's warm back with Momo perched on his shoulder.

First on Aang's journey had been Guru Pathik. This may seem strange, as the wise man had been the one who previously demanded Aang let go of Katara. However, it’s precisely because of this that the Avatar visited him before anyone else. After the war, Aang never had a chance to return to the guru and question the believed importance of severing ties.

Aang, though he struggled to admit it, harbored a little resentment for Pathik after he went against his teachings. He still respected the elder, but part of him was eager to face Pathik, to stand proud knowing that he made the better choice as a boy rather than abiding by the wise man's ruling. He was determined to marry the one Pathik told him to leave behind, so Aang was as spiteful as he could ever be. Despite this ire, Aang truly hoped that he and Pathik could reconcile over the most pleasant of news.

Upon landing, the two shared some niceties before Aang's desire to open up overwhelmed him. “I’m going to marry her, you know. If I’d listened to you, she would’ve died.” Aang could barely look at the guru when he said this, mixed feelings of avoided grief and desperation swirling about his mind. Pathik wasn’t blind to this, and quickly sat the Avatar down as he began emptying his thoughts.

“Connections to others limit our ability to prosper. Any ties to this world and its people weaken our chance to explore the strength laying dormant within.” Aang did his best to sit still and listen, but he couldn’t cease the curling of his toes and twitching nose. He’d waited a long time to hear Pathik’s explanation, but it was harder than expected to eye the man responsible for Katara’s near-death experience.

He was so restless that Aang was oblivious to Pathik’s similar discomfort. The elder shifted his hands from his knees to his calf over and over again, running his fingertips along the fabric as he spoke. He too struggled to hold eye contact with the man he hurt. “I didn't wish to harm you with my judgment. I thought I was doing what had to be done, both for you and the fate of us all. It seems that… I may have been wrong, in your case at least. I hope you can forgive me.”

With each word Aang’s tight clench of his fists loosened just as the viper’s grip on his heart receded. “I haven't a single doubt that you and your beloved will be very happy together. Cherish her and those you love, young man.” Both men’s gazes steadily rose, meeting for the first time since Pathik began illustrating his convictions that were left wrongly unspoken for years. The guru smiled at Aang, taking in all that the Avatar had become without him.

“Your ties to them seem to make you stronger. I'm sure dear Gyatso would agree.” The conversation dissipated any lingering frustration in Aang's heart, unaware that so much had existed until Pathik’s sincere admission of regret. Aang pulled the elder into a hug when he initially intended to part ways after a stiff, procedural bow. He experienced an unexpected ease wash over him, a tension in his stomach unraveling once his reconnection with the elder appeased his perturbed psyche.

Driven by the gratifying experience, Aang immediately met up with another man from his past— though undeniable wisdom and age is all that connects the two elders. King Bumi jumped on Aang upon his arrival, and the two puffed out giddy, exhausted breaths. The longtime friends discussed the good old days before Aang announced he was planning to propose.

The king was so ecstatic that he moved to tackle him again. However, the Avatar was ready the second time around—though just barely pivoting away. Nevertheless, the king was undeterred. For several minutes he continued to leap at Aang, who somehow managed to stay untouched. He was out of breath until Bumi came to a sudden halt and offered some sort of approving nod, like their game of cat and mouse equated to something far beyond Aang's comprehension.

With that, Bumi resumed his full height and rubbed Aang's forehead as if he were a fortune teller prodding his crystal ball for answers. The Avatar merely stood in silence, holding in a snort while he waited for his friend to finish his inner analysis. “You've grown so much, yet your spirit has remained passionate and humble. You'd be surprised how often power corrupts. You're still the friend I made all those years ago, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sure that spunky waterbender gal feels the same.”

Aang nearly teared up at the sentiment. Just as he placed a hand on Bumi’s shoulder, the elder grinned before slamming the unsuspecting Avatar onto his back. The two friends continued to run about for hours until Aang insisted for his own safety that they stop. With a tight hug that both men groaned through, laughing through the glorious agony, the king and the Avatar parted ways.

Aang set out to the Southern Water Tribe to meet with the last wise man on his list: Hakoda. The surprise visit prompted Katara’s father to suspect exactly what the Avatar wished to discuss. He ushered Aang into his home, seeking privacy for the topic. “If you’re here to ask for my approval in marrying my daughter, do know that it’s not necessary; Katara is a grown woman who doesn’t need her father cradling her, but I appreciate your sentiment nonetheless.”

Hakoda’s shoulders shook as he emitted a low chuckle at Aang’s wide eyes and tense frame. “Come now, don’t look so embarrassed. Why else would you be here? I don’t suppose you plan to confess your feelings to my son and marry him instead?” The Avatar smiled sheepishly and rubbed his neck, joining Hakoda in laughter.

Just as the men made earnest, understanding eye contact, an ear-shattering scream disturbed the moment. Sokka barged in, gaping like the recent catch of fish balanced on his back. “You’re finally going to do it? Okay, so when are you planning on asking, exactly? Oh, and where? How? I have a million questions, man! Or, wait, I guess I can call you brother now, huh?” His babbling was met with blank stares which quickly melted into bright smiles. The men spoke of the future until nightfall, and Aang said his goodbyes, his soul satisfied at the reciprocated excitement from his closest companions.

Each meeting had left the Avatar with a newfound clarity, and he now feels ready to propose to Katara. Knowing that he and Katara would appreciate the hijinks of it now that time and fear have passed, Aang brings Katara to Ember Island after requesting its theater group to put on the same reenactment of their journeys solely for the couple. As expected, Aang and Katara laugh throughout the entire production.

Aang admires the waterbender’s uncontrollable chuckles and glistening eyes, growing eager for the play to end so he can propose. Once the curtains fall, the couple clap and cheer before Aang tugs Katara out of her seat, guiding her to the beach. The two gaze in silence at the shimmering waters, both sneaking not so subtle glances at each other for a marvelous eternity. Aang almost hates that he has to break their trance for any reason at all, but he just can’t wait any longer—not with how beautifully illuminated she is under the moonlight.

“Katara, there’s something that I want to ask you. The thing is, uh, you see…”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“Hang on, let me get through this,” Aang holds up a palm while rubbing his temple with the other, forehead creasing. The Avatar curtains his eyes, vacuuming up oxygen through his nostrils as if he’s never had any fill his lungs before. “Okay, so when two people love each other very much—”

His hands retract to his center, fingers spreading out and motioning to the air. Aang continues the anxious spasming of his limbs until Katara's words process in his overloading mind. “Wait, what? How did… I mean, who told you?”

“You shouldn’t have trusted Sokka. That goof is terrible at keeping secrets, especially from me.” An airy chuckle tumbles out of the waterbender, recalling the event from just a few nights ago, “I barely looked at the guy before he broke down into gibberish, going from formal venues to invitations or something. All it took was a few seconds of hard eye contact for him to snitch every last detail… and then some. I know way too much about Sokka's love for Suki now, it's kind of disturbing. I'll spare you the trauma.”

With a sigh, Aang smacks the center of his arrow, though his taut expression is quick to dissipate. He shrugs his shoulders, chalking up the reveal to one of Sokka's many charming moments. “Figures. I didn’t even tell him since I was sure he would blab. He was eavesdropping when I was talking to your—um, never mind.” The two share a laugh, but Aang’s nervous rocking on his heels silences both of them. “So, you really mean it? You'll… marry me?”

Katara’s smile stretches further as the Avatar eyes her from under his dark lashes. “Of course, sweetie. If I’d never met you, there’s no way I would’ve discovered half of what I’m capable of. I was able to become strong like my mother wanted me to be, and I even got to help save the world with the Avatar himself. Now, I’m—” She pauses her spiel when Aang’s head tilts to the side, though roses seem to bloom within his cheeks as they burn red. “Okay, okay, sorry. Enough about me.” Clearing her throat, Katara sets her hands on his shoulders. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re everything to me, Aang. I’d be honored to spend the rest of my life with you.”

His face bursting with color, Aang lowers his gaze “I’m the one who’s honored to be with you... I may have saved the world, but you, ya know, saved me and all. And not just from being a snow globe.”

“I know.”

With the promise made between them, Aang and Katara melt into each other’s arms. They seal this new bond with a kiss while a gentle breeze twirls through their bodies. It's almost as if the Air Nomads’ spirits were applauding their pupil, embracing the pair in gusts of caresses like the lovers are the heart of a hurricane.

[shipaholic]

Good Omens/SU crossover - The Prologue!

Day 19, 2020: already behind on my writing schedule, lol.

It’s angels and demons with gem powers y’all! I’ve decided to post scenes from the fic on tumblr as I go, and then do a big edit at the end before putting it on AO3.

Prologue: three days after Adam and Eve leave the garden, Crowley reforms for the first time.

Link to next part at the end.

---

Prologue

4004 BC

There was an angel in the garden of Eden.

The others had left already after the business with the apple, muttering about cock-ups (but more politely, being angels). Strictly speaking, there was no reason for any angel to still be skulking around the garden. A cloud of embarrassment hung over the place. In a few hours management was due to turn up and sweep it, before returning to head office and drafting an official statement. The garden couldn’t remain on Earth, obviously. There had been talk of archiving it.

A twisted black sigil, the size of a rook’s feather, lay on a flat rock. It looked as though it should have only had two dimensions, but had been press-ganged by physics into manifesting an extra one. It was wrapped in a little nest of white cloth and placed in a sunbeam. The angel hovered nearby, trying not to break into out-and-out looming.

The black object on the rock finally did something. It glowed pure white and rose out of its nest to float in the air two feet above eye level. It made a noise that would be identifiable, many, many years from now, as a laser beam charging up [1].

The light became blinding, and a shape grew out of it - more shapeless than shape, its borders wobbling like a giant soap bubble. Then it compressed and became human-shaped. Limbs sprouted in every direction. The blob at the top decided to be a head. It was like watching dough being rolled out and reformed into an unsettlingly realistic gingerbread man.

Long curls unspooled from the head. Swathes of cloth burst into existence and draped around the figure, similar to that worn by the angel. It then changed its mind, and the loose toga pinned over one shoulder morphed into a cowl and hood, wrapping around the head and leaving only a few loose strands of hair.

Features popped out of the smooth face. Colour suffused it down to the fingertips. There was a final burst of wind and light, like a celestial flourish, and a pair of gleaming white wings unfolded from its back. Immediately, they turned black, like a forest scorched to ash. They fluttered once, and the figure gently touched down on the grass of Eden.

It opened its eyes. They were still golden.

Then it squawked and fell over.

“Ack,” it said.

It kicked a few times at its robe, which was not especially tangled around its feet, but that seemed less embarrassing than acting as though it had fallen over because it still hadn’t got the hang of having legs.

Then it caught sight of the angel hiding behind a rock.

“Gnn!” it said, and grabbed for something to throw at him. [2]

“Um!” The angel held up his hands. He tried to stand up without looking intimidating, and ended up in a kind of hunch. “I come in peace. Erm.”

The figure pulled a face, as if remembering the distant present. “Peace? You killed me!”

The angel grimaced. “Well. I suppose I did, technically. Sorry about that.”

“You whacked me over the head!”

“I know how that must look -”

“I thought we were having a nice moment up there, with the sheltering from the rain and so on, and two seconds later you karate-chop me with your blessed wing!”

The angel’s face was two notches guiltier than his gave-away-my-flaming-sword face. “It really was an ac -” He paused. “Well. Not quite an accident, to be quite honest. Not in the sense of not meaning to do it. But I really didn’t mean to k- discorporate you. I feel terrible about the whole thing.”

“Oh, you feel terrible! I’ve got a ding in my skull. Brand new skull and everything.” The demon tapped its own head, but found it undamaged. It frowned. “Huh. That’s useful.”

“You seem fine now,” said the angel. He already sounded far less sympathetic.

“Yeah, ssssuperb.”

“You’ve even redecorated yourself a bit. I like the, erm.” The angel gestured vaguely. “Belt.”

“Yeah. Well. Why not.” The demon preened a little. It was quite a nifty trick. The angel was a fan of his new, cinched-in waist look, but thought it a bit of a shame the demon had covered his long red hair. His gem - the winding black sigil just under his ear - was also half-hidden under his hood. The angel had a few further thoughts, but it seemed impolite to comment.

“What are you hanging around for, anyway?” said the demon. He was still sprawled on the ground with a clump of grass in his hand. “Planning to stand over me and just… finish me off whenever I reform?” He blanched. He’d just said it off the top of his head, but it was actually a disturbing thought. “Because that sounds, uh. Boring.”

“Of course not!” said the angel. It did sound boring. Also, horrible. He’d got through the entire War in Heaven without engaging in what might technically be called combat. Given the option, he’d prefer to keep his kill-count at zero. Who knew their human forms would… explode into smoke clouds from one tiddly knock on the head? Someone upstairs might have told him. “I wanted to see you were all right, that was all. You gave me quite a shock, you know.” He gave an embarrassed cough. “Look, I really wasn’t trying to trick you - back on the wall.”

“Oh, ‘course not. You were just doing me a favour, keeping me dry, nice and neighbourly, only by sheer misfortune an overwhelming blood-lust came over you, and there was nothing for it but to smite me off a sixty-foot wall. That’s a comfort. I feel much safer now.”

   The angel, unlike most of the others, understood sarcasm. [3] He kept what had really happened up on the wall to himself. It had been a loud clap of thunder - the first ever produced on Earth - and it had been startling and unpleasant. Usually a sound like that heralded the appearance of Upper Management, who would have had Questions about him chatting to a demon, of the kind that ended in Meetings with Clipboards. Getting the demon out of sight chop-chop had been the word of the day, and - well. Turned out these new, corporeal bodies were less resilient than one might hope. Bit of a rush-job, the angel regrettably suspected.

“How long was I out, anyway?” The demon peered around the sun-drenched garden. “I see this place has had time to dry out.”

“It’s been three days. I’m not really supposed to be here anymore. I’m going to be terribly late to the staff meeting.” The angel looked at him sidelong. Politeness lost a skirmish with curiosity. “What… exactly was it like?”

“What, getting my head stoved in? Or just the general feeling of betrayal?”

The angel was a being of heavenly love and he did not roll his eyes. “What were you doing in there? While you were, er, recharging?”

The demon’s yellow eyes went blank. “Hnn.” He scratched his cheek. “Just. Hanging about, you know. Think I was in contact with one of my people. Sort of felt like someone was talking to me. And like I was filling in forms. And having a nap.”

The angel frowned. “A nap? Never heard of it.”

“Oh, it’s going to be big.” The demon smiled. He had high hopes for sloth. At the very least, he suspected he was going to like it.

The angel gave a tentative smile. “So it wasn’t too unpleasant?”

The demon huffed. “Fine, no, it wasn’t torture. It was just weird. No harm done, and I got a new look out of it, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Not that you were being all that hard on yourself. Scratch that, be harder on yourself, softer on me.” He clambered to his feet. He definitely hadn’t got the legs down yet. Rebooting his body had set him back, he was sure of it. “I’ve got turned around. Where’s the exit?”

The angel pointed. There hadn’t used to be an exit [4], but now that Adam and Eve had departed, there was. “I’d move quickly if I were you. Head office is sending some of my lot down to check the place over. Could be any minute now.”

“Thanks for the warning,” the demon said gloomily. He spread his wings for balance and started to wobble away on newborn legs.

“Sorry again!” the angel called out.

“Not like anyone died. See you, angel.”

The angel waved, then felt foolish since the demon was facing away. “Aziraphale. Don’t think I said.”

“Goodbye, Aziraphale.”

“Goodbye, Crawly.”

The angel watched him stumble towards the exit of the garden, until he started to feel peculiar and unsafe and guilty about something he couldn’t put his finger on. Time to leave and avoid running into management.

Aziraphale the angel turned and strode eastwards, and Crawly the demon continued west, and they wouldn’t meet again for six hundred years.

---

[1] But only in certain B-movies.

[2] There were no deadly weapons in Eden, even if you improvise. The figure grabbed a handful of grass. He inconvenienced himself more pulling it out of the ground than he would have done to the angel by throwing it.

[3] After a fashion. At least, when it came draped in a neon flag with ‘I am being facetious and mean to you’ scrawled across it.

[4] An exit for humans, that was. The four Gates at the North, South, East and West were guarded by angels and they led to less Earthly destinations.

---

(Chapter 1, Part 1)

[nitewrighter]

Gency Destiny AU Pt. 3

Requested by @thenugget2008

Previous Chapters: 1, 2

----

McCree was snickering as he and Genji-3 both took cover behind a large iron crate as Fallen fired on them. Genji-3 always felt a little worse fighting Fallen than fighting Vex or Cabal or Hive. Vex? Evil time travelers trying to fold reality to their will. That was bad. Cabal. Conquerers. Tried to take the Traveler so they could conquer better. Obviously also bad. Hive? Well, on top of smelling of death, ammonia, and rotting crab meat, they worshipped the Darkness and were hell-bent on obliterating the Traveler and everyone it protected. That was also bad. But the Fallen? As far as Genji could tell, civilization-wise, the Fallen were only a few degrees removed from their own situation. They were chasing a Traveler they felt had abandoned them. The Fallen always made Genji a little afraid that the Traveler might leave the Guardians one day. Or maybe he just respected the Fallen a bit more because they had a shared proclivity for knives. Genji-3 glanced over at McCree, still snickering, before clearing his throat, leaning over the barrier, and dispatching a few dregs with his hand cannon.

“It’s not that funny,” muttered Genji.

“It’s a little funny,” said Echo, peeking out from McCree’s cloak.

“It really is though,” said McCree, vaulting over the barrier and laying down some cover fire at the Fallen rushing the area to grab some motes of Darkness. He tossed one of the little black and white pyramids up and down in his hand before shooting a Fallen Vandal in the head and spinning his hand cannon,  “I’m still imagining the whole scene like...the ghost is glowing, the light of the Traveler is breathing life into the lungs of someone who was dead for hundreds of years... and your first instinct is to ask her out for ramen.”

“It wasn’t my first instinct!” said Genji, chasing after him, doing his best to dodge out of the way of the enemy fire, “She was in the middle of hostile territory! She was overwhelmed! I thought... maybe she could use a friendly face.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” said Zenyatta, his plates whirring as he repaired Genji’s shielding.

“Aw, your ghost is jealous,” said McCree.

“Ghosts don’t get jealous,” said Zenyatta.

“Ehhhh....” Echo glanced off.

“I mean, I don’t blame ya, Genji,” said McCree, pivoting to face him with with a shrug, as Fallen fire blazed past him, “She’s cute--Didn’t know Awoken could be cute like that, y’know? Pretty, sure, but it’s pretty in a way that you’re always a little scared they’re going to use void magic to rip off your--”

“Enemy team’s invading!” The drifter’s voice sounded in Genji’s helmet and he snarled in frustration.

---

“I think they like you!” said Mercy’s ghost as Mercy walked out of the Vanguard’s war room.

“You think so?” said Mercy, glancing back over her shoulder, “They seemed very... serious.”

“Well we are standing in the ruins of our formerly great civilization now facing down total annihilation from multiple sides,” her ghost said matter-of-factly.

Mercy pursed her lips.

“...Cayde made them easier to talk to,” her Ghost admitted.

“Cayde?” Mercy repeated.

“Cayde-6. He was the Hunter vanguard. He died a few months ago,” 

“The menu in the Ramen restaurant mentioned him!” said Mercy, a little excited to be able to put her observations together with what she was seeing, her smile faded, “He died?”

“Well Guardians can die--Just because I brought you back from being dead doesn’t mean you can’t die,” said her ghost.

“As you’ve mentioned,” said Mercy. She stopped at the guard railing overlooking the last city and the Traveler. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” she said, folding her arms across herself.

“Of course you’re not! That’s what you got me for!” said her ghost, nudging into her shoulder.

Mercy smiled, “My ghost,” she said, and then her smile shrank a little, “That’s a little morbid, don’t you think? Calling you ‘ghost?’”

“Well you die over and over again--well hopefully you won’t die too much--but I’m the part of you that keeps you around! I’m a Ghost! It’s not morbid, it’s what I am!” 

“I suppose that’s fair but--You don’t want a name?” Mercy tilted her head.

“A name?” the ghost’s plates whirred thoughtfully, “I’ve never had a name before. Pulled Pork got a name and he didn’t even have a guardian.”

“I won’t call you Pulled Pork,” said Mercy.

“Lots of ghosts of really great guardians have names! Ikora has Ophiuchus , Marcus Ren had Didi, Nnekchi-32 has Agu---”

“Genji has Zenyatta!” Mercy suggested.

The ghost made an eye-rolling movement with its plates, “Genji-3 is no Nnekchi-32.”

“I kind of like him,” said Mercy.

“Well yeah, he’s the first guardian you met. You’re going to meet all sorts of guardians in our adventures! We’ll need to think up a very good name so we make a good impression. It’s going to be very hard. It could take very long--It took me centuries to find you, it could take forever to find a name that--”

“What about Engel?” said Mercy.

“I like Engel!” said the ghost.

----

“I blame you, by the way,” said McCree over the comms, as they both flew their ships away from the Emerald coast and toward the lost city.

“You spend the entire match goofing off and teasing me and you blame me for when we lose?” said Genji.

“I was doing my job! I can multitask!” said McCree, “You were a million miles away. You expect every opponent that comes up to you to be as slow and dumb as Cabal. You’ve been out of the Crucible too long.”

“Patrols are important!” said Genji.

“It’s all stragglers out there. If we wanna defend the city, we need to get better--not plateau off moping in no-man’s land.”

“I wasn’t moping,” Genji muttered. He glanced off. “Her past is already disappearing.”

“Come again?” said McCree over the comms.

“The awoken?” Zenyatta glanced at Genji.

“I know Guardians aren’t supposed to get caught up in their pasts but... doesn’t it make you sad, sometimes? Don’t you wonder who you were before your Ghost brought you back?”

“I assume I was just a bigger, less competent idiot than I am now,” said McCree, a shrug in his voice, “I know it was Vex that got me. Don’t like thinking about that part too much. You’re gonna bring up your brother again--”

“It’s the one thing that’s stuck with me through three reboots,” said Genji, “What if it’s important? And why is it always I always find myself drawn back towards Mars? I mean, Bray and Rasputin have it more or less covered over there...” Genji paused, “What if I knew her before we both--”

“Bray?”

“No, Mercy,” said Genji.

“What, you think she’s your pre-Collapse soul mate or something?” said McCree.

“I don’t know. For all I know I could have known you before we both died. But... it’s a lot easier to have someone help you out when you’re revived. Zen, can you hail her?” 

“Give me a moment,” said Zenyatta, scanning Genji’s comm. 

---

“...And this shader is called ‘Watermelon!’” said Engel.

“Definitely not,” said Mercy, looking at the hologram of herself in a garish iridescent pink and green version of her current outfit, still leaning against the guard railing with the Traveler behind her.

Engel’s eye suddenly flashed green. “Oh! Incoming message! Guardian Genji-3 would like you to join his fire team over in the EDZ!”

“Oh! Say yes!” said Mercy. “Wait--I don’t have a gun--I should probably get one--”

“You have one!” said Engel, materializing a sidearm in her hand, “This is golden age tech, but I was still able to rematerialize it when I revived you! It was on your person when you died! It’s called ‘The caduceus.’”

“The caduceus?” Mercy repeated before extending her arm and looking down the sights of it, trying to see if it sparked a memory, “The name sounds familiar and yet...”

“Of course there’s a strict ‘no-firing’ rule here on the tower. I mean some people practice at Banshee-44′s firing range, but that’s more for getting used to different guns and most just go to the Crucible if they need practice.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” said Mercy, tilting the gun with her arm still extended as she looked over it, “I don’t even know how to turn the safety of--”

The gun went off and the surprise of the shot sent Mercy flailing over the guard railing. She was falling down, down, down the length of the tower.

“Try to glide!” her ghost shouted after her as she screamed and fell.

“WHAT!?” was the last thing Mercy yelled up before her ghost winced and looked away at the sound of a wet thud on cement.

“Oh boy,” said the ghost, whirring its plates and glowing. After a few seconds Mercy rematerialized, perfectly fine, next to her ghost. She exhaled a half shriek and slapped her hands over what was previously her broken body, trying to make sense of no-longer shattered ribs and leg bones.

 “What--what just--I just died! I was dead!” her voice was half hysterical.

“To quote Cayde-6, you just popped your guardian cherry!” said her ghost, delighted.

“I--what..?” said Mercy, looking at her ghost.

“That’s what Cayde would say. It means you did die. I don’t know what popping cherries means. It’s kind of funny that it was here and not out on a battlefield though. But anyways you’re better now. Shall we go to the EDZ?”

Mercy’s breath was shuddering. “Oh... okay.” 

---

“Any response?” asked Genji as they flew.

“I was confused for a moment--,” said Zenyatta, “It would seem Mercy’s ghost is now designating itself as ‘Engel.’”

“She named it?” Genji’s face lit up.

“Engel says Mercy died but, quote, ‘Is okay now.’”

“She what?” said Genji.

“She died at the tower!?” McCree was audibly cracking up over the comms, “I thought you said she was a warlock!” 

“But Engel is still confirming a meeting place at Devrim’s church in the EDZ,” said Zenyatta.

“Oh... okay then,” said Genji.

“Gotta say, really loving your fireteam picks, Genji,” said McCree.

---

“Ship time! Ship time! Ship time!” Engel was bouncing excitedly as she walked, still shellshocked, over to the landing platforms to meet up with Genji.

“I died,” Mercy said hollowly as she walked.

“Yep!”

“I died twice,” said Mercy, eyes still wide.

“And I brought you back twice!” said Engel.

“I’m going to die again,” said Mercy.

“Probably! Then I’ll bring you back again!” said Engel.

Mercy looked at her ghost with some horror in her eyes.

“We’re a teeeaam,” Engel whispered loudly, zooming close to her face.

[toaarcan]

Sonic X, Sonic Heroes, and IDW, or: How a bad anime from 2004 spoiled a comic from 2019.

Now, I haven’t been following IDW Sonic all that closely. I get regular updates from Nemesis via Discord, and additional info from some of the Tumblrs I follow that are invested in it, but I don’t really have a desire to touch it myself. Here’s why.

There’s a multitude of reasons for this. Starting with the background of Sonic Forces wasn’t really a good place to begin from, and being based on present-day game lore in general was always going to hurt it, mainly because SEGASonic canon is currently a confusing mess of retcons brought on by Iizuka taking the J.K. Rowling approach.

Wait, no, he’s just saying stupid shit that contradicts previous canon, not trying to score woke points and hoping nobody notices the frankly terrible stereotypes and TERF tweets. Iizuka is taking the Greg Farshtey approach.

Added, as anyone that’s had experience with my opinions will tell you, I started falling out of love with Ian Flynn’s writing somewhere around Issue 200, and moved to outright dislike during Mecha Sally, and to make matters worse I started noticing that some of the flaws in the 200-247 era were also present in the 160-199 era, retroactively making those harder to go back to.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I kept up with Archie for the SatAM cast. SatAM reruns back in 2004 were my Sonic, moreso than anything else, and even now I still have way more attachment to those two seasons of animation than I do to most other aspects of the franchise, warts and all. So Archie providing me with additional content for said characters was a major draw for me. I’d generally put up with a lot just to get myself more SatAM content.

That in itself is a large part of why I fell off the Archie train during Mecha Sally. The entirety of the SatAM cast were removed from the regular lineup, just leaving three SEGA characters with their personalities stunted, even if that didn’t make sense in-universe. But that’s a discussion for another day.

So being written by someone whom I no longer enjoyed the writing of, set in a mess of a canon with a thoroughly shite game as the main basis, without the cast I read the previous comics for gave me little reason to invest in IDW Sonic. It wasn’t for me, I’d just keep reading Transformers and move on.

Then MTMTE/LL ended with a heart-twister and Ex-RID ended with a giant Unicron-shaped fart, and the new comic is dull as fucking dishwater and started by killing off one of my favourites, who was also one of the franchise’s confirmed LGBT characters. So now IDW is getting none of my money. Which is good because I’m broke.

Tangents aside, my lack of interest wasn’t something set in stone. If it turned out that the comic was actually really good, then sure, I’d try it. I was up for being proven wrong. But so far, I haven’t felt compelled by the responses from the internet. If anything I’ve been more turned off.

I could talk about how zombies are really fucking boring. I could talk about how SEGA’s recent confusion over what to do with Amy has combined with Ian’s need to include a Sally-esque character to make IDW Amy into Sally Lite. I could talk about how Ian seemingly fundamentally misunderstood everything that was cool about Neo Metal Sonic and somehow managed to reduce him to a boring Eggman minion in an arc where Eggman was out of action due to amnesia… But I won’t.

Instead I’m going to talk about how the comic has done something that would legitimately make me think twice about picking it up even if the FF were to debut tomorrow.

Yeah, I would pass up a SatAM fix because of this, that’s how much this ticks me off.

Now, I presume that if you’re reading this, you have a favourite Sonic character. And you probably feel pretty strongly about how your favourite character is portrayed. If they get a bad run in a game or two then you probably get a little salty about that. Tails and Knuckles fans in particular, as of late, seem to be the ones getting the short end.

Well, my favourite character in the entire franchise is Emerl the Gizoid. I will take Gemerl as a worthy substitute, they’re basically the same character. And the comics have been doing them dirty since the Archie reboot.

(Sidenote: I will be referring to Emerl with male pronouns from this point on. The Maria-soul thing isn’t as widely known as I’d like it to be, so I’m going to compromise for the sake of keeping the focus on the actual point)

However, not everything about this can be laid at the feet of Ian Flynn. Arguably his portrayal of said character is merely a symptom of a long-running issue that has plagued Sonic storytelling for roughly 15-16 years now.

But before we get into that, let’s get into something important: Why Emerl is my favourite Sonic character.

Part 1: Emerl in Sonic Battle, or “How I learned to stop worrying and love the Gizoid”.

This game doesn’t get enough love.

Now, I totally understand why it doesn’t get enough love. There are game design choices, like the grinding and the repetitiveness of the story mode that really drag it down, and because of that, Battle can become a slow-going and tedious experience, and that’s a real shame, because the story that’s hidden in this game is a thing of beauty.

Like most Sonic games from the 2000s, this game introduces a new character to join Sonic’s list of friends. Unlike the games that aren’t SA2 and Sonic Rush, this new character is actually good (This is hyperbole, Omega, Silver, and Shade were fine too).

Emerl enters the story as a mute, barely-functional robot that doesn’t do much of anything for a while, and only seems to come to life when Sonic locates it and attacks it. However, as the robot absorbs more Chaos Emeralds, slowly a personality starts to form, largely pieced together from other characters’ traits.

Emerl, as he is dubbed, is initially childlike and naive, but as he grows he develops a sassy streak, and his speech becomes a lot more developed. Maturity sets in, as Emerl grapples with his own nature, particularly the legacy he carries from the ARK, and Shadow’s ongoing turmoil with regards to the whole “Living Weapon” deal. Ultimately he becomes a hero, following in the footsteps of his mentor, parental figure, and closest friend, Sonic.

That’s right, Sonic, not Cream, is Emerl’s closest friend. We’ll get to that.

But this heart-warming story of Sonic becoming a dad for a robot doesn’t have a happy ending. Despite Shadow and Rouge finding a way to neutralise Emerl’s destructive Gizoid programming, Eggman has a way to reactivate it anyway, driving Emerl into a berserk rampage. This is kind of the one sticking point I have with the game’s plot, Eggman shouldn’t have been able to do this after Shadow and Rouge neutralised Emerl.

Additionally, while Emerl was on the ARK getting Maria’s soul crammed into him, Gerald also added a self-destruct mechanism that would trigger if he ever went Ultimate again.

So with Emerl quite literally exploding with all the power of the Chaos Emeralds, but his destructive programming forcing him to turn Eggman’s latest Death Star knockoff on Mobius/Earth/Sonic’s World, Sonic races up to confront his mecha-child, and things take a turn for the Old Robot Yeller.

In a moment that really deserves more attention, Sonic confronts his own child on the bridge of a space station, while Emerl is running on the power of the Chaos Emeralds and outputting more energy than he can physically take, and they fight. In the space of thirty seconds, they have a ten-round knock-down, drag-out brawl, and at the end, Sonic stands triumphant. Without using a single transformation. Yeah, that’s how powerful this guy is, that’s not travel speed, that’s combat speed. Looking at you, Death Battle.

It’s not really clear whether Sonic outright defeats Ultimate Emerl, or just survives long enough for his opponent to reach his limit and self-destruct, but the end result is the same. Sonic cradles a robot that became his own child over the course of the past few weeks, someone he raised from a baby-like state into a mature and heroic individual, and Emerl looks up at him and asks “Sonic… am I going to die?” And despite Sonic desperately trying to get him to keep it together, Not only does Emerl die, but he’s aware that the end is coming, and bids farewell to all of his friends as Sonic pleads with him to hold on. Shadow is equally distraught, his only friend with a connection to the ARK, someone he can call a brother, someone who carries the soul of his deceased sister within him, is dead.

Emerl: “Sonic I don’t feel so good.”

Like it’s canon that Eggman basically murdered Sonic’s kid.

And goddamnit this ending hits me hard. It frustrates me that Eggman was able to pull a means to drive Emerl into his Ultimate freakout mode out of his arse, but other than that, it’s so gutwrenching, I love it.

Gamma’s story from SA1 gets a lot of praise on the Internet, but for me, this is even better. It’s like Gamma’s story, but if Gamma was actually central to the plot of the game and the characters other than Amy gave a shit about him, and gave a shit about him for longer than a single cutscene, after which they are never mentioned again. Hell, due to Chaos Gamma being a thing, Gamma gets more love from the other characters in Battle than he does in SA1.

But, unfortunately, it doesn’t end there.

Part 2: (Sonic) Anime was a Mistake, or: “Sonic X ruins everything.”

I’ve made my dislike of this anime quite clear in the past. The characters are flanderized, Sonic is a B-lister in his own damn show, the villains are weaksauce or boring or both, the plot is only remotely close to good when its cribbing from two videogames which told the stories in question better, and for the first two seasons the entire show actually revolves around not Sonic, but the least relatable audience surrogate ever made. The third season would continue to include him, but shove him (And everyone else) to the side in favour of a Pokemon whose only move was “Flashback”, making audiences the world over question why he was even there in the first place.

Oh, and it also near-singlehandedly destroyed the thin shreds of character development that Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Eggman had received in Sonic Adventure 2.

All four of these characters had been significantly enriched by the then most recent console game. Eggman had been revealed to be motivated by an admiration for his grandfather, Gerald Robotnik, but in the same game learned that Gerald had lost his marbles and programmed the ARK to smash into the planet and kill everyone on it, probably including his surviving family, i.e. little baby Ivo Robotnik. Gerald betrayed Eggman posthumously, and it’s clear from Eggman’s interactions with Tails during the credits of the game that this is giving him a lot to think about.

Knuckles is a weird case because most of his characterisation in SA2 is conveyed via… the lyrics to his rap music. Yes, really. He gets minor growth through the cutscenes, most notably in his decision to shatter the Master Emerald early on. Having already reassembled it once after it was broken in SA1, he’s now confident that he can do it again, so is willing to break it to prevent Eggman or Rouge stealing it. Via the rap lyrics, however (Yes I just wrote that), we also learn that Knuckles is slowly warming up to Sonic, gaining a greater respect for him, that he is more in-touch with his history and ancestors after SA1 (Though fortunately not in a Ken Penders way), and that he’s also struggling with feelings for Rouge, a plot element that went completely out of the window after this game.

Tails and Amy, however, get it the worst, as both went through arcs in SA1 that are followed up on and expanded in SA2. Amy had come to the conclusion that she didn’t need to rely on Sonic for everything, and that she would make him respect her as a hero in her own right. And while Amy is clearly in way over her head throughout the events of SA2, she still makes a significant difference, not only freeing Sonic from his cell on Prison Island, allowing Tails’ invasion to be a distraction and stealing a keycard to facilitate it, but of course, she later saves the world by motivating Shadow to join the fight to stop the ARK drop.

Tails had a similar plot, about learning to believe in himself as a hero, without having to rely on Sonic, and in SA2 he gets to prove it, not only partaking in the same rescue operation as Amy and fighting Eggman on even footing, but effectively taking command of the heroes and becoming their new leader, and for the first time, Sonic defers to him.

And then Sonic X came along and fucked it all up.

Eggman became a clownish antagonist with no semblance of nuance, and he actually got off the easiest.

Knuckles became a loud, dimwitted loner who got tricked by Eggman constantly, which would go on to be his personality for the rest of the franchise, ultimately culminating in the travesty against all sense that was Boom Knuckles.

Tails was reduced to a wimpy taxi driver, incapable of doing anything without his giant mecha plane to sit in. This was largely exacerbated by the presence of Donut Steele, who usurped his role as Sonic’s best friend and sidekick for two seasons, a problem which only got worse in the third season when Donut Steele suddenly became a genius inventor too, encroaching even more into Tails’ territory. Tails did get himself some more focus in S3, but only to make googly eyes at the Pokemon, a role which frankly could’ve gone to literally anyone else and would have made no difference on the plot. I would say that Tails being involved in a romance story at all is weird, but given the comics and Boom the weirdest thing about this latest tragic love story for the kid is that the Pokemon was actually close to his own age, because outside of this it really does seem like Tails goes for older ladies. Though she did turn into an adult at the end so I guess that counts?

But Amy arguably got the worst of it. Not only was her crowning moment in SA2 taken away from her and given to Donut Steele, but the poor girl had her promising character arc cut short and replaced with an obsessive, unhealthy fixation on Sonic, combined with a violent temper and an eagerness to smash anything that displeased her, Sonic included, with a giant hammer. Her admiration and crush on Sonic were warped into her being a possessive, mean-spirited stalker, whom only got away with it because she was an anime girl and therefore it was cute rather than creepy.

I want to take the time at this point to stress that stalking is not okay, under any circumstances. A girl obsessively following an older guy and threatening him and everyone around him with violent assault if they ever so much as imply that he isn’t interested in her is not cute, it means it’s time for a restraining order. Sonamy is not cute.

Now that I��ve swatted that particular hornet’s nest with a cricket bat, let’s move on!

I’ve always found it ironic that, despite being the adaptation with the most oversight from SEGA and Sonic Team, and the most endorsement from them too, Sonic X had easily the worst characterisation of any of the shows at the time. But, for all its faults, I can’t blame everything that went down in the aftermath on it. It had a comrade-in-arms. Mediocrely-written arms.

Part 3: Partner in Crime, or “Sonic Heroes also ruins everything.”

Sonic Heroes has a lot to answer for. And I mean a lot. It was the beginning of the franchise’s obsession with references to the classic games, it codified the really awkward ages for certain characters, and it seemed to be dedicated to completely unpicking everything established in the Adventure duology.

Shadow’s sudden resurrection is one thing, at least they had the graces to include a means to preserve his sacrifice via having him be an android, the blame for that not taking should be laid at the feet of his own game.

But the rest of the cast? Ohhh boy. Sonic’s still fine, he didn’t change much in the Adventure games, but then there’s Tails. Despite all the development he went through in SA1, in this game he needs to turn to Sonic when Eggman returns, and honestly this whole setup could’ve been fixed if Tails sought Sonic out not for the sake of having him lead the charge, but rather simply to recruit him into the counterattack he was already planning. Nevertheless, throughout the rest of the game Tails is almost as wimpy as his X counterpart, not helped by the voicework he’s given. No offense to William Corkery, who was probably like six when he recorded his lines, but this what you get when you choose actors via nepotism, rather than talent. But at least he does something.

How about Knuckles? As the other side of his derailment, Knuckles just turns up in this game, buddy-buddy with the characters he was only just starting to warm up to before, and blatantly not caring about the Master Emerald until Rouge mentions she’s going to steal it at the end. This will combine with his becoming a dumbass in Sonic X and become basically his entire character for… ever. Even in Forces, where he’s supposed to be doing slightly better as the leader of the resistance… but he’s a dumbass, and even Ian Flynn, who kept Knuckles as competent and intelligent in the Archie comics (Making the best version of Knuckles we’ve had in forever), kept this ongoing in the IDW comic. The Forces prequel portrays him as deciding to become leader of the Resistance (To an empire that hasn’t actually formed yet) purely to be a glory hound, and then goes on to establish that he was basically a figurehead while the real work was done by Amy, of all people.

And speaking of Amy…

Yeah, poor Amy is basically her Sonic X counterpart. But worse. I didn’t think that was possible, but at least X’s Amy seems to care about her friends. In Heroes, we’re treated to an equally violent and stalkerish Amy, who ostensibly starts searching out Sonic because he’s implicated in the abduction of Cream and Big’s pets, but when they actually catch up to him, Amy clean forgets why she is looking for him in the first place and tries to force him to marry her. Despite being twelve.

Y’know when Amy said she wanted to marry Sonic in SA2, she was joking, right?

This is why I find the idea of Amy being the real leader of the Resistance frankly absurd: Because the only time she led anything, it was a team that consisted of herself, a small child, and a man less intelligent and aware of reality than said small child, and she completely forgot their actual objective the moment she set her eyes on Sonic. Add in an unfortunate stint of very poor eyesight that got less and less understandable with every instance, and we got Amy’s rough personality for the next decade.

While Knuckles mostly stagnated at the same level of stupidity during that time, Tails got worse and worse, losing all of his badass traits with every game, a factor only increased by the “Sonic only” mentality costing him playable status, until he reached his nadir in Forces, cowering in terror from Chaos 0, and crying out to Sonic to save him, despite knowing full-well that Sonic was captured already.  Amy, meanwhile, limped along at the same level until about 2014, where it seemed someone at SEGA finally realised that A) Having the only female character you regularly use be a pink-coloured gender-bent version of your male hero whose only function is lusting after said hero doesn’t and shouldn’t fly in this day and age, and B) violent stalkers aren’t cute, and dropped this trait. Unfortunately, this has been more of a lateral move than a fix, as, much like Antoine in the comics, they forgot to give her anything substantial or fitting after she lost her negative traits, leaving her a bland and dull character, and when you’ve had a character be consistent for ten years, even if they were consistently bad, then changing it without cause or warning is still going to be jarring and awkward.

Part 4: Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right, or “Why the fuck did this happen?”

As I said in Part 2, Sonic X was made under heavy oversight from Sonic Team, and was heavily endorsed by them at the same time. There were promos for the show inserted into Sonic Adventure DX, a few episodes were released on GBA cartridges, and it received a long-running comic from Archie that ran alongside the main book, even after the show had ended. Additionally, characters that debuted in games from 2002-2004 were restricted from appearing in Archie’s main book for years afterwards (Which will become relevant later). The third season was commissioned solely off of the response to the first two, and primarily overseas response, hence why the original sub was never aired in Japan.

Sonic X was huge. And with that in mind, it’s plain to see that the portrayals of the characters in Sonic X were intended by SEGA. Yeah, all that horrible characterisation was intended as the vision for the franchise going forwards, and subsequent games were adjusted to match it.

And unfortunately, not only did this have a serious impact on the main cast of the games, but it had an even worse effect on Emerl.

Part 5: Emerl in Sonic X, or “Emerl vs. ‘Emel’”

Sonic X’s original mission statement was to adapt Sonic Adventure, Sonic Adventure 2, and Sonic Battle. Why they skipped Sonic Heroes, despite Shadow being a major player in Battle’s story, I don’t know.

For whatever reason, the show took a full season to actually get to the first game adaptation, SA1, and instead spent the first 26 episodes on bland episodic “adventures”, in some kind of strange reverse-Isekai series. However, once it got there, the adaptation work was fairly faithful to the source material, which the exception of Donut Steele’s being crammed in to the plot. However, he mostly followed Big around, and since Big was the least involved in the game’s plot, he didn’t disrupt too much.

Sidenote, after 26 episodes of filler, the actual SA1 adaptation only lasted six episodes.

SA2 was likewise only six episodes, but with the exception of Amy’s big scene, it likewise wasn’t too bad. Tails suffered this time around too, which is somewhat surprising since he was mech-dependent in the anime anyway.  

After some more filler, which introduced the Chaotix and then did nothing with them, Emerl finally made an appearance, albeit they got his name wrong.

‘Emel’ looks like Emerl, and somewhat works like Emerl, but might as well be completely  different. ‘Emel’ stays completely mute for the entire time he’s around, never advancing much beyond Emerl’s initial silent, pre-first Emerald persona. He does get better at fighting, but he’s limited to only absorbing a single skill at once (Except for when he isn’t).

Dispensing with Battle’s interesting, rich, and heart-twisting plot, Sonic X instead has ‘Emel’ linger in ensemble for three episodes, before condensing the entire game’s premise into a two episodes of really bland tournament arc, where Sonic himself doesn’t actually fight and we get two rounds of Donut Steele being a dick to his friend and his father.

‘Emel’ wins the tournament, and is given a Chaos Emerald, and just when you think it might kickstart him becoming an actual character, instead it just drives him insane and he immediately becomes a pathetically weak version of Ultimate Emerl. After kicking the crap out of the entire cast, he is defeated by Cream and Cheese, because even though he can take on Sonic, Knuckles, and Rouge at the same time and win, along with Tails, Amy, Donut Steele and everyone else, he… can’t handle two opponents at once.

This is stupid.

You’ll notice that I haven’t talked about Sonic’s relationship with ‘Emel’, and that’s because he doesn’t have one. The wonderfully-written parental bond that these two characters share in the games is completely excised, and instead the focus is put on Cream. Bare in mind, Cream is so inconsequential to the actual game that she doesn’t even get mentioned individually in Emerl’s dying speech like Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow do. Instead she’s just grouped in with Amy.

This is also stupid.

And as a result of this, it means that what is arguable base form Sonic’s most impressive feat just doesn’t happen in the anime, instead Emerl dies because he is lightly kicked a bit by Cream. Yeah, unlike the Advance games, Sonic X’s Cream is not an unstoppable engine of destruction, she’s basically just a small child who can sometimes fly.

Instead of Emerl’s tragic speech and Sonic’s desperate attempts to keep his son alive, we get treated to a prolonged scene of Cream crying over the death of her “friend”, something that is probably meant to tug at heartstrings but doesn’t because Cream’s voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

And Shadow isn’t even there! He doesn’t come back until a third of the way through Season 3, and never meets ‘Emel.’

This is really stupid. And, for those keeping track, that means of Sonic X’s originally commissioned 52 episodes, and the full series run of 78 episodes, a stunning total of seventeen of them were actually adaptations of the games that the series was supposed to focus on, leaving us with 61 episodes of what might as well be filler.

And, unfortunately, that franchise-wide initiative had damning consequences for Emerl.

Part 6: Gemerl and Sonic Advance 3, or: “An incomplete resurrection.”

So, Gemerl. I know his name is apparently G-Merl now but fuck that I’m calling him Gemerl. If the comics can do it then so will I.

Gemerl is the worst thing Eggman has ever done to Sonic. Like, there is no contest. Some of his other schemes might be more destructive and generally evil, but in terms of personal pain inflicted, nothing has topped this.

Eggman salvaged Emerl’s corpse, and brought him back to life as a mindless murderbot under his control. So not only did he kill Sonic’s robo-son, but he also brought him back as a weapon.

Come the conclusion of the game, Gemerl predictably betrays Eggman, steals the Chaos Emeralds from Sonic, and goes on another rampage. I have… headcanons about this fight, but that’s something to worry about later. What’s important is that, once again, Sonic is victorious, and Gemerl’s defeated body plunges into the atmosphere.

Fortunately, Tails is able to bring Emerl back properly this time, presumably using the Chaos shard that was left over at the end of Battle’s finale. So, it’s all a happy ending, right? Sonic has his child back, Shadow has his connection to his history restored, and Emerl is alive and well, right?

Wrong.

See, the vile spectre of Sonic X rears its ugly head once more, and sabotages this conclusion. Gemerl doesn’t return to Sonic, in fact we never see him reunite with his father. Instead, Sonic X’s version has enough clout now to take precedence, so Gemerl is now Cream’s playmate.

Bear in mind that Emerl’s idea of a fun game is all-out combat against his friends, and Cream doesn’t like fighting (Even if she’s really good at it in Advance 2 and 3).

And then he never shows up again. Even when Cream is part of the game’s plot, like in Rush or Generations, he’s not there, and most egregiously, in Sonic Chronicles, where Cream is not only an active player in the plot, but so are Gizoids, the creators of said Gizoids are the main antagonists, and Emerl himself is mentioned… Gemerl is not there.

But he did make it into the comics, for better or worse. Mostly worse.

Part 7: Embargos, knock-offs, and misused tropes, or: “Ian Flynn dun goofed.”

For a long while, Emerl/Gemerl was barred from the Archie comics, due to the Sonic X embargo, and when it was lifted, he didn’t appear until the reboot. We did, however, get a suspiciously similar substitute in the form of Shard.

Shard was the original Metal Sonic, but when he was brought back and rebuilt for the Secret Freedom arc, he was given a colour scheme ostensibly derived from Metal Sonic 3.0, but one shared with Gemerl, and a personality that was a lot like a watered-down version of Emerl’s own.

On some level I can understand Ian’s decision to bring back Metal Sonic v2.5, rather than use the character that seems to have been an inspiration for this new incarnation in some way. He’d need a fully-formed Emerl, necessitating a skip over the whole story, since there wasn’t room for an adaptation during the Mecha Sally arc that the Secret Freedom story was framed within. Heck, for all we know, the similarities between them may simply be a pretty sizeable coincidence.

But then the reboot happened and Gemerl finally joined the comic cast. And to say it was underwhelming would be an understatement.

You’ll notice that I said “Gemerl” rather than “Emerl”, because his entire story was indeed skipped. The events of Sonic Battle and Sonic Advance 3 had both happened already. This wasn’t Ian’s decision, as far as we know, his intention was for the comic to start over from the beginning. However, due to the interference of Paul Kaminski, who wanted a softer reboot, Ian was forced to fill the characters’ active histories with a large chunk of the games’ stories. Battle and Advance 3 were among those that had already happened, so Emerl made cameos in both incarnations via flashback… which unfortunately led to a plot hole.

See, Advance 3 and Sonic Unleashed are rather difficult to keep in the same continuity, because both share a common plot element: The world breaking into seven pieces.

For a long while, it was generally assumed that the handheld games and console titles were only semi-canon to each other. This avoided the awkward question of “If the Gaias were already there, why didn’t they emerge when Eggman broke the planet in Advance 3?”

Ian shoved them blatantly into the same continuity, and gave no attempt to explain what was different about the Advance 3 world-break compared to the Gaia incident, which served as the backbone to the reboot’s three year long Shattered World Arc. Why didn't the Gaias wake up during Advance 3? Because that's now a question we have to ask of the comics' world.

When Gemerl finally showed up doing something other than yard work for Vanilla (Despite allegedly being Cream’s friend, Cream spends all her time with the rest of the cast, and Gemerl is basically Vanilla’s maid), it was to get effortlessly dispatched by a brainwashed Mega Man with a terrible name in the extremely lacklustre Worlds Unite event.

This one was more than a little bit of a slap in the face, considering that Emerl and Mega Man are very similar in concept- robots that can copy the abilities of other characters- but Emerl is demonstrably more powerful. Now, if Ian had established that Gemerl had been nerfed when he was rebuilt, either by Eggman or by Tails, that would be fine. But he didn’t. In fact, Gemerl is given the title bubble “Super Gizoid”, implying that he’s stronger than a regular Gizoid.

Worlds Unite is generally pretty bad for having its corrupted heroes easily curbstomp every other character around, to the point that the only thing that can stop them is each other, but in Gemerl’s case it really serves no purpose.

This is the only thing that he actually does in Worlds Unite. He shows up to get beaten up and make Mega Man look stronger. That’s it.

This is something that TV Tropes refers to as “The Worf Effect”, a trope wherein an established powerful character is defeated easily by a new character, in order to demonstrate the latter’s power. Now, there’s nothing wrong with using this trope, but please note that I said establishedpowerful character, which Gemerl wasn’t.

At the point that this comic released, Gemerl’s last appearance in any Sonic media was over ten years prior. None of the comic’s intended target audience would remember him, and they wouldn’t know why defeating him was impressive. And this was, in addition, a terrible way to introduce him to new fans. Though the worst part is easily that this was unnecessary. Mega Man had already defeated everyone else, and had established his power pretty well just on them, and he was about to get removed from play permanently in the next issue. There was really no reason to throw Gemerl under the bus for this.

He made one more appearance in the event, getting controlled by the Zeti along with every other robot, and after that he got bopped on the head and just flew away.

Later, he’d make another appearance in the Panic in the Sky arc, and while his portrayal was far from the worst thing about Panic in the Sky, it only adds to the issues caused by the previous showing.

Gemerl makes one appearance, and promptly gets pinned down by the Witchcarters and Team Hooligan. Bear in that one of those groups are the joke villains who nobody takes seriously, and the other are a gang that was defeated by Tails before he met Sonic.

Archie Gemerl was a character who only existed to lose to villains in a vain attempt to make them look better, and that’s legitimately all Ian ever did with him, which makes me wonder whether he disliked the character. And it didn’t even make the villains look good, when you think about it. For anybody that was actually the intended audience for this book, Gemerl had no significance. He was just a robot that got beat up all the time. But for anyone like me, who does remember the games he appeared in, it stands out, not as good writing, but as a blatant narrative device and misused trope.

In this situation, I would simply rather Gemerl never appeared in Archie. At all. If Ian wasn’t going to give him time to shine, or at the very least be an adequate member of the supporting cast, he shouldn’t have used him at all.

Part 8: A Fresh False Start, or: “Wait, how did this get worse?!”

And now we arrive at IDW.

The one nice thing I can say about Archie Gemerl is that at least his personality was mostly on point. He read like a generally accurate take on the character that Emerl was at the end of Battle, which is what he’s supposed to be.

The same cannot be said for IDW.

In the pages of IDW, Gemerl acts like the most generic robot. He speaks in emotionless, stilted sentences with little in the way of actual grammar, leaving him to read like a poor man’s Soundwave, or Soundwave in one of those comics where the writer can’t decide whether they want him to speak normally or adopt his speech pattern from the G1 cartoon, so they just sort of do both.

Emerl pretty much never talked like this, as far as I can recall. His speech development is much more reminiscent of a child learning words, and the only time when he did adopt a more robotic speech pattern, it was a clue that he was slipping back into his destructive programming. He only spoke like a generic robot when he was in mindless destroyer mode.

He gets thrown for a loop by a simple logic flaw, unable to reconcile “Protect Cream and Vanilla” with “Don’t kill the zombots”, and has to be talked out of killing everything around him, when the entire point of Gerald’s modifications to the Gizoid was to make him a bringer of hope rather than destruction, and give him a compassionate heart.

The part of Battle’s story where Cream imparts a pacifistic mindset doesn’t frame her as being right. In that part of the game, they are cornered and under attack by hostile but ultimately mindless drones, and when she convinces Emerl to stop fighting, he almost dies. It’s Cream that learns the lesson there, that sometimes fighting is okay.

This character is already compassionate, he shouldn’t need to be talked into not killing the zombots by a small child, nor should he need her to point out that they’re innocent people who have been made this way by Eggman, because he was made into a killing machine by Eggman twice, and the first time he did die because of it. The character that lay dying in Sonic’s arms, scared and bidding his last goodbyes to his loved ones shouldn’t be the one experiencing this struggle when Omega is also in this arc.

That’s it, really. He’s not Gemerl. He’s a second, less goofy Omega. And it boggles my mind that, despite getting Gemerl’s character, if not his combat abilities, down almost perfectly in Archie, Ian is now subjecting us to this travesty.  

Like with the Archie example above, therein lies the crux of why the steady decline of Emerl/Gemerl that began with Sonic X is pushing me away from IDW: I don’t want to read Ian’s take on this character, because, to me, No Gemerl is better than Badly-Written Gemerl,

This isn’t the first time I’ve said this, either.  Way back in 2016, when I complained about Ian’s portrayal of Gemerl in Panic in the Sky, I said that the way he handled characters that I liked tended to make them the least likeable parts of the stories he wrote. As well as stating my dislike for his handling of Gemerl, I also stated that I used to really like Fiona Fox, moreso in concept than in execution, but under Ian’s pen she was largely an insufferable antagonist, little more than a trophy to make his pet recolour look better, and almost every story she was in only added to the “List of reasons she needs to stop lying to herself and just start the redemption arc already”. Additionally, I said that I didn’t want to see him bring back Neo Metal Sonic or Mephiles in any context, and we got the former, and it was exactly as bad as I thought it would be.

So, that’s basically why I don’t want to read IDW. That’s why, even if the aspect that was a big sticking point for me back when the comic launched was to be undone soon, I still probably wouldn’t pick it up. Because I don’t want to see my favourite Sonic character continue to be written badly by a guy that should know better, and has done better in the past.

If he were simply screwing up Gemerl’s personality the first time he wrote him, I would file it away under the same category as “Emel”, but the fact that he’s done better before, in a book where he had greater restrictions on what he could do with the characters, really settles this as an interest-killer for me.

Well done, Mr. Flynn. I legitimately didn’t think you could make me actually miss SEGA’s tighter control, but you somehow managed it. I would be impressed if it weren’t so sad.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

SPOILERS!!!! CHARMED 1x19

Okay y'all, I've finally seen the latest episode of Charmed.

So... overall I actually like the episode. I like that we are getting into the lore more. I like that connection to and the differences between the OG Charmed.

So in the OG Charmed magic isnt necessarily neutral. There is good and evil magic but (at least in the first few seasons) there was the idea that magic had to be balanced which is why there was a council made up of elders and demons to protect that balance and ensure the secrecy of magic.

Reboot Charmed I like the idea that all magic comes from one source and it is the actions that determine evil or good. Which just reaffirms what Harry has told Macy. By the same hand, there are some plot holes in all that. Macy is having a little bit of trouble with her demonic side since they said demon blood acts as an infection (and apparently Parker didnt always have it) that would mean that although witches are born demons are not or at least special conditions have to be met, maybe? So not sure how they will explain that. Also Macy is obviously having trouble with her demon side now. I dont know if her emotional state after the break up is contributing to that since her confidence is probably shaken as well as the fact breakups suck.

I actually don't mind the opening scene showing the Sarcana deaths. Hold on! Let me explain. The big villains of the show are white, I dont know if that is on purpose. I see they are trying to be diverse by having non-white witches and non-witches. So when you are trying to have diverse casting and people have to die and you only have white villains, your POCs are always gonna be on the chopping block. Which is why i think having diversity on a show is hard because you cant be callous with any of your characters (in general I dont think you should be, but i feel a lot of show writers write for shock or angst) because you have to remember that certain storylines take on a different meaning when the actors are non white. For example, OG charmed wasnt a stranger to mass murder. Season 4 started with the slaughter of the Elders and whether you were pro or anti elder that was still shocking as heck. Which I think the reboot was trying to do with the Sarcana. The issue is that in the OG we had 3 seasons of elders exploring thier faults and the good they do, and both the slaughters(titans) and elders were white (well primarily white, I think we only got to see like 2 non white elders in the entire series if I remember correctly). Here you have a white villian and mostly POCs being slaughtered. I totally see how wrong that looks and I think the writers or the casting directors either missed that or they are being heavy handed with the idea of abusive white villains against POCs. I think the scene was about showing how aweful and abusive Fiona is, also revealing her main motivation, that they dropped the ball on the whole "you are murdering most of you POCs here which arent main characters".

Speaking of abusive. I still want Villian Charity. I want her to take out Alastair and be an active villain not a passive one. I mentioned before that see would probably be a passive one before, but I said I wished she wouldn't be. I like villains. I like well written villains mostly. I think Charity has the perfect set up to be good villian. She began her own fall from grace (although the structure which taught her had a hand in it too), she fell into bigger evil under a tyrannical and abusive character, if she goes Lilith (CAOS reference) and decides to replace Alistair some way as the big bad I will be happy. Because I dont want to watch her be a meek used and abused character to then either be killed or do some sort of self sacrifice thing. She straight up murdered people and is a villain in spite of mostly being passive. Cole was killed in the OG charmed because at some point (we can argue about exactly where) his actions were irredeemable. Yes his story was complex, yes a lot of miscommunication and power dynamics went into all the issues there but the line had to be drawn. Charity, at least in my mind cannot go back to being "a good guy". She is getting in deeper and deeper. She obviously has emotional ties still to her sister and probably Harry, just as Cole did with Phoebe, and I want to see where those ties lead her. But I will be disappointed if after murdering a bunch of people and helping out a demon to try and bring on the apocalypse, they make her an abuse victim who dies. Not cool. Stop hurting abuse victims for emotional reactions on television! I know many abuse victims are killed by their abusers (RIP Dr. Wagner although Hunter did it we know who ordered him to). I dont want to see it overdone on the same show within a few short episodes. Charity shouldnt get off free for her murders either even though she is obviously in an abusive relationship now with Alistair (not talking romantic relationship) she has been set up to become a villian, tragic back story yes ,but her choices were made and she has to live with the unintended consequences.

Macy was being super toxic this episode. Let's at least call her out for it. Yes, imo Galvin hasnt been that great of a boyfriend except for a couple of cute moments (the really didnt get enough screen time to say whether the good outweighed the bad). But Macy needed to leave him alone. Like the whole time watching this episode I was just like "so are they spreading out the Cole and Phoebe arch to everyone?". He obviously is traumatized. He already told her he was out. I know she is hurting, imo they way he broke up with her made it worse and messed up her confidence even more than it could have, but she still seeks him out even though that is a violation of his boundaries. I dont like how he attacked her personality when he said that he couldnt compartmentalize the way she can. Macy does do that, I agree that they probably would have broken up because of that, but again he could have just said "I dont see it that way, please understand that". That also said, Macy trying to convince him other wise also rubbed me that wrong way. When he questioned her thoughts and actions over her demon side it was hella wrong! Equally for her to question him over how he feels about what happened to him. They are his feeling and she needed to respect that. I think that they arent right for each other and are kinda bring out the worst in each other. If Galvin gets killed because of magic I will be upset, because he firmly expressed that he wanted out, and if Macy or his lingering feelings for her get him killed that would be unfair. Just as unfair as charity dying doing something good after being abused and manipulated (abuse should never be a punishment I dont want a theon grey joy on Charmed characters shouldnt have to be abused to convince the audience that they deserve to be redeemed).

Parker and Maggie...I feel for Parker. I do. But your decision to not play a part in bringing about the apocalypse shouldnt be based on whether or not your girlfriend wants to be with you. I get it, he is freaked out and he thinks he killed his mom. Charity killed elders out of panic and I didnt cut her slack. I called her story a tragedy but didnt suggest her actions werent heinous. Parker is the same. I am getting Romeo and Juliet vibes here. Like stupid kids making stupid decision based on misunderstandings and feelings beyond thier Ken (or at least infatuation and adolescent hormones beyond thier knowledge). I never liked Romeo and Juliet so that could just be me.

I dont know. When my brother passed away I felt dead, my whole world and future as i saw just crumbled. I was depressed and had some PTSD (according to my doctor). Even though I had suicidal ideations, I still feel that in Parkers place I wouldnt do something that would involve hurting other people. I wanted to go away or disappear, but the idea of hurting others would be too much for me. And Parker is supposed to be this nice guy who has been fighting his demon side before he met Maggie. Maggie gave him the motivation to break away from his father but he was never into hurting people. So to go from that to, "let's destroy the world, I've got nothing to lose" ....except you might end up killing Maggie and a whole bunch of other people in the process. Considering he was horrified thinking he hurt his mom, it doesnt seem to be in character. Again Romeo is not thinking things through, but like not thinking things through was kind of Romeo's thing whereas for Parker not so much.

So like Mel and Niko should be the new Piper and Leo. Like they should be the one couple that despite there issues (only if it is done better than leo and piper was) makes it til the end from the very beginning. I am a Hacy fan but as the episodes go on I feel that they both need a lot of growth before that happens.

Speaking of Harry. I love him. He has recieved the best character growth within a season I've seen. So like he is an established good guy (not good as in not evil, but like a genuinely not trashy person) but obviously his faults kind of go along with his emotional boundaries. He gets attached really fast and that can cloud his judgment. His whole Charity relationship was so teenager in nature that I wanted to slap him upside the head, but I think he is ment to be compared to Fiona. In spite of being created and used as a tool of the Elders and being tossed aside coldly (although he was an idiot in many ways where Charity was concerned) after years of loyal and good service, he doesnt turn into a trash monster. He doesnt use being abused as an excuse to abuse others. Fiona is so angry (not gonna say she doesnt have a right to be) at being a tool for others that she uses and abuses people and feels justified in it.

I totally get her wanting to extinguish magic. But like ber issue is that magic made people want to use her as a tool and that power and having power ruined her life.... wouldnt it make more sense to just bind your powers and wipe you mind? Like less carnage and you get the same result. A life without magic. See doesnt seem to be doing it to protect others, it seems more like she wants to hurt them by taking thier power.

The episode was ok. Things moving along and I will be watching. I really want to know where they go from here and what the big finale will be.

The lore needs some help, maybe with the new staff coming on board that will be ironed out next season.

I think the last episode was better pacing wise. This one felt a little slow to me. Anyone else feel that way. Lots of problem introduced this episode I am hoping they will lead to satisfying conclusions. Or at least a super good itch for the next season. I will probably still continue to watch either way next season because for its faults I think this show is doing some really great things and i am still excited for them.

How are y'all feeling though?

[velvet-tread]

A theory, or wild speculation, or whatever; anyway there’s some Bellarke

Here follows a collection of thoughts that don’t quite add up to a thesis yet

Season 5 had one of the best runs of episodes I’ve seen on this show ever - strong themes, great setups, impactful character beats. 9 straight episodes of near-perfection.

But imo it fell short in the last couple of episodes. How short depends on your perspective, but my feelings about it range from mildly disappointed to Jane Austen mourning weeds and little weepy handkerchiefs. Either way - the collapse into fudgy incoherence and loose ends actually undid all of the great work the show did in the first 9 episodes.  WHICH IS FUCKING INFURIATING. 

The show painstakingly put together so much excellent character and relationship set ups which either never materialised or didn’t pay off or just fizzled out. And now I’m left wondering what it all meant, which not only frustrates me on a viewer level but also makes me feel like an idiot for wildly overestimating what the show was doing with the material.

*looks at the X Files forever*

Just to pick a few things out at random.

a) Bellarke were put in conflict, but there was no emotional pay-off, the framing was all over the place and the resolution basically a post-script. 

b) We spent the series agonising about the wisdom of going to war on a fragile planet, but the actual harbinger of Apocalypse 3.0 (I can’t believe I have to write that) was someone only tangentially related to that storyline, whom every single named character bar Kabby was trying to stop. So was everyone wrong? Or just ineffectual? The latter is far less interesting and more depressing tbh.

c) The worms

d) Memori

e) I could go on

I repeat, I would not be so pernickety if the run up to the s5 finale hadn’t been so good, and the set up so promising.  The idea of a reboot was genius.  The Bellarke separation was genius.  Blodreina = genius.  Mama Bear Clarke = genius. Eligius = genius. Spacekru = genius. 

But ultimately?  Can ANYONE tell me what s5 meant?  What difference did any of those things make in the end?  What conflict was resolved satisfactorily?  I’d argue that the Blodreina/Blake siblings arc worked the best (although *howl* Bellamy was never given any in-universe context for Blodreina) but generally I’m left with the feeling that very few of these stories or conflicts had any meaning whatsoever, and especially not Bellarke.

So I have a theory and I stand to be corrected as ever because I am very much processing.

I think there’s a strong possibility Jason and/or the 100 writers room began rewriting the back end of season 5 as they were filming the early season 5 material.

Given Jason’s comments immediately after the finale, I’m inclined to believe that the rewrites, if I’m right, were mostly around Bellarke and the Flame.  Specifically, I think that at some point when they were filming mid-season, Jason changed his mind about how Bellarke-y he wanted the season to be, if at all.  And on top of that, I think as he was pitching season 6 around that time, he realised that he wanted to go full-hog with the Flame in season 6. 

Those two things might be connected.  Perhaps Jason realised the full extent to which he coud “bring Lexa back” without actually bringing back ADC, around the Flame.  Perhaps he wants to recreate the show’s Clexa glory days.  And perhaps romantic Bellarke isn’t compatible with that vision. Dumb, in my view, but hey.

Perhaps, he just realised that he can’t doesn’t want to write romantic Bellarke.

If that’s the case, then well, *shrugs*.  Less satisfying for me, but I don’t own this shit.  I do, however, own the prerogative to speculate wildly on how and why they squandered all that promise in the last couple of eps.

Certainly, a mid-season back end emergency rewrite would explain a few things:

1.The loose threads and wonky framing

For example, Clarke’s fury at Bellamy for putting the Flame into Madi’s head was just...dropped?  Why? When it was SUCH A BIG DEAL in 509?  What were we supposed to the think about that?  What was she? And Bellamy, who didn’t appear to even remember who Clarke was until he saw her at the ship, being angry at her? Really? Where? Since when? And importantly - why? 

I’m a writer and it’s my experience that the best planning you do for a piece is when you approach it at the start.  You brainstorm.  You get your thoughts together.  You address each problem and question and mould it into a whole so it all makes sense.

But when you finish the thing and you look at it and you think - the thesis is wrong! I need to restructure the entire thing!  That’s when mistakes get made.  Especially if, for example, you’re up against a deadline or in this case a filming schedule, the threads that you would usually pick up at the planning stage or in the editing stage get missed.  And because they are part of the final editing process, there’s nobody around to pick them up and properly address them.

Result?  Fudge.

2. The curious ambivalence about Becho. 

Look I ADORE Becho. They are soft, and loving and real af.  I fully believe that was always intended to be the case. 

I think Becho was set up as a benchmark, for Bellamy in particular, a symbol of his peace and prosperity in space,. And, of course, I think it was also set up as a point of conflict for Octavia and Clarke. In the case of the latter, it was definitely a silent love triangle. How do you explain the love triangle framing on two separate occasions? How else do you explain the two separate interviews Jason gave about love triangles?

But here’s what Becho was not set up as: a relationship that was supposed to develop on-screen and take the audience with it.  Becho had no arc this season. It wasn’t “a story” per se, however much Tasya and Bob’s chemistry electrified me. It was the backbone to *other* stories. 

So, why, then, were Becho given every single Bellarke beat, especially towards the end? A background of forgiveness? Check. A steadying influence on each other. Check. The person they’re fighting for? Check. Plotting together? Check? Battle couple? Check.

Contrast with Bellarke. Forgiveness?  That’s something for Bellamy and Madi to discuss without Clarke!  Battle plans? Clarke will do that with Echo instead (oh my GODDD my ot3 came to life there *clutches hands and wishes upon a star*). A steadying influence on each other? Maybe! Until they forget each other’s names when they’re not in a scene together! People they’re fighting for? Definitely not each other.

Meanwhile bts, the messages were VERY confusing.  So the show was giving us a Becho that, while very real, was not the core of the story. Which was probably why, in early season 5, some deep Becho nods (the extra forehead touch, the “I love her”) found their way on to the editing room floor. All legit. But then, the script-to-screens then BROUGHT THOSE THINGS BACK to the viewer’s attention?  Why? Why give us those things even though they were cut? Was it because maybe, the show had changed direction after the fact?

And don’t get me wrong. I loved every second of the show’s affirmation of Becho. I still adore them.  But how does it fit into the jigsaw of the show as it stands?  It doesn’t really.  In fact, if you just swap Echo for Clarke in Bellamy’s storyline this season, you would have a hard time telling me that this isn’t exactly what romantic Bellarke would look like - the only difference is that in terms of screentime, Becho’s antagonism has had far more time, and Bellarke’s forgiveness/working together has had more time. IN-UNIVERSE, IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.  It’s why shipping Becho comes so easily for me. And if the show wanted to frame that as Clarke’s personal tragedy, I would get it and probably relish it. But the trouble is, I’m having a hard time understanding what the show *is* saying about Becho and Bellarke, because it seems to be constantly changing its mind.

WHICH. BY THE WAY. MADE THAT ENTIRE WAKE-UP MARPER VLOG SEQUENCE A MASSIVE DAMP BELLARKE SQUIB.

SORRY.

3. The Flame suddenly jumping to prominence as a tool rather than as a symbol late in the season.

The show went from framing the Flame as a threat to this kid, who had hidden from it her whole life, for whom it meant literal nightmares of people burning at the stake, something for Clarke to rightly protect her from, to something that turned her into a mouthpiece for Lexa, to Clarke’s hostility to it being framed as “wrong”. There was an abrupt change of tone imo, to Clarke’s fears being justified to Clarke’s fears making her, and I quote Jason from an interview that nearly made me choke on my cereal, a “helicopter” mum.

Excuse me while I punch the nearest object to smithereens.

The Flame “gave” Madi battle ideas (which were different from Octavia’s how, exactly?) by Gaia’s bedside, with just a MANTRA? That whole scene felt cobbled together at the last minute. Like a film student’s badly edited homework.

It’s giving Clarke life lessons, ffs! 

*clenches fist*

The whole thing feels like a season 5 retcon, hastily put together to justify Madi still having the thing in her head for season 6, when it can do it’s victory lap for real.

4. The scenes that were dropped

a) Bob and Eliza both referenced a big Bellarke scene that got cut.  My guess? Not a romantic scene but some kind of Hakeldama that allowed them to hash out their various beefs with each other and probably involved some shit talking about the Flame.

b) And like, if that scene had some tenderness in it? Too Bellarke maybe? No, Bellarke BAD BAD BAD *stern looks*

c) also, wasn’t Echo supposed to have a sad scene of sitting in the snow and remembering Azgeda? That was supposed to be at the snowy back end of the season, but Echo had no sads really.  Only fierce spacekru love and some cuddles and some good sexy time. Was there an Echo sad that got cut? What was it related to?

5. The writers room walkout

Yeah. I don’t know what that means, but it sure means something.

Just fyi...for some context.  I love Becho and they currently own my heart but until recently Bellarke was very much my otp. Probably, deep down, it still is.

But I’m getting tired of running this race. I have no problem with the show doing a slow burn. I have no problem with platonic Bellarke. But I need consistency and, importantly, I need the show to remember that Bellarke are the backbone of this show. Their relationship - however you frame it - is the heart and without it the show is nothing but a collection of Elon Musk conspiracy theories on reddit.

JUST LETTING THEM HAVE A CONVERSATION =/= BELLARKE ROMANCE.

If you want them platonic, fine, you win. But gutting their relationship from the inside out to try to ward off the sniff of shipping is just counterproductive. It’s the lack of real, meaningful connection that really turned me off Bellarke this season, not the lack of kiss or lack of romantic framing. Early in the season? Yes, the set up was all there and it looked GREAT. But their conflict never got off the ground and we never got a cathartic resolution to show us the characters really, truly mean something to each other. 

Ultimately the show forgot that they were friends who love each other, and I just *clenches fist* can’t ship that.  Maybe that’s what the show wanted. But the flipside is that at this point I’m not really invested in their relationship in any context, which is why the end shot left me cold. I hope Bellarke hasn’t died in my heart forever but...idk it doesn’t look good.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

No Comicstorian, Marvel DOESN’T need a reboot Part 2: Miles Morales isn’t the whole Marvel Universe

I continue to debunk the BS of this video about Spider-Man/Marvel needing a reboot as proven by Spidey PS4.

 This time out we handle the bulk of his points and learn that really this is all about how he feels about Miles Morales.

What is Comicstorian’s next point.

 “In Marvel’s rolling timeline they move the events of the pas forward in time and update stuff to it like how Flash Thompson was a bully like in the 1960s stories but it was now because of his Dad”

 That isn’t an update and that has nothing to do with a rolling timeline. That’s a flashback, a character reveal, a retcon, character development, whatever you want to call it.

 Claiming this is an example of how Marvel’s ‘timeline’ works is like saying that about Harry Osborn being revealed as having Daddy issues like the year after he was introduced.

 “Flash’s Daddy issues got turned into him becoming Agent Venom”

 No, Flash becoming Agent Venom was due to his history as a solider and his adoration of Spider-Man. his Daddy issues played into it kinda sorta yeah but that’s not an issue related to a rolling timeline, that’s just making use of a character’s established history.

  “Adding stuff into the Marvel timeline without removing stuff or rebooting makes it more convoluted because now everything happened even though it doesn’t make sense in the modern day’

 That isn’t how Marvel’s timeline works.

 Marvel’s timeline works off the premise everything happened and you just ignore anachronisms and/or generalize them.

 Flash Thompson being drafted into Vietnam where he met Vietnamese woman Sha Shan became Flash Thompson went into the military during college and over seas met Sha Shan.

 We don’t confirm he went to Vietnam but we do not contradict it either.

 And this has worked for *checks watch* over 55 years. Comiscstorian claims that it’s confusing and convoluted to have such a big history but...clearly it isn’t because they still make money and make a lot more money  than DC does with it’s frequent reboots.*

 Meanwhile DC has removed stuff in their history and replaced it with other stuff or rebooted it wholesale and whatever to modernize things and wound up with an even more convoluted fucked up mess than Marvel ever had because there are literally 9 different versions of Superman.

 And even specific versions of him ran into the exact same ‘problem’ Marvel had because the superman of 2002 who’d been around since 1986 would’ve still had anachronisms in his history from those 1980s stories.

 “DC have never done a true reboot outside of the Nu52”

 Yes they have. You can debate the meaning of ‘true reboot’ to an extent but if you are going to codify the Nu52 as an example of one then 1985’s Crisis on Infinite Earths would DEFINITELY be a true reboot.

 “Batman has never truly been rebooted”

 This is not true at all.

 Whilst it is accurate to say of all DC characters and franchises, Batman has changed the least from reboot to reboot, to say he’s not changed at all is ignorant.

 When originally conceived Bruce Wayne had no Butler or father figure. Alfred was introduced as a gag character who got in his way but morphed into a loyal butler.

 Then when Batman was rebooted in the 1980s Alfred and his history drastically altered. Now Bruce had a perennial father figure in Alfred who’d been there his whole life and helped him on his quest to becoming Batman from the outset.

 Whether Batman carried fire arms or not in his early career is also something that has altered from version to version.

 The circumstances under which he met Jason Todd have changed.

 How and when he revealed his identity to Catwoman has changed.

 Selinia’s entire backstory has been all over the place.

 Two-Face’s origin and Batman’s role within it has changed.

 The role of Jim Gordon and Batman’s relationship to him has radically changed, as he was originally not a father figure to the Dark Knight.

 There is so much more but I’ll stop here. Batman’s history is not AS fraught with contradictions as Superman’s or Wonder Woman’s but those major alterations still exist.

  “With rebooted characters (like in DC’s case) in terms of needing to understand what is currently happening in modern comics, like the Flash you only need to go back to 2011”

 Marvel still outsells DC most of the time in spite of their long continuity.

 Marvel for the longest time wrote their comics with the belief that every comic is someone’s first and should be accessible, meaning you never needed to go back at all if you didn’t want to, any issue was a jumping on point.

 I am a personal testament to this. My first Spider-Man comic was part 4 of a 4 part story wrapping up 28 months worth of incredibly convoluted plot lines. But because it was a good story in that issue and written accessibly I still loved it and became hooked.

 This mentality also gives no shits towards story integrity.

 If eventually any story is just going to be rebooted why bother emotionally investing at all?

 Why does any story matter if they can all just be changed or thrown out the window whenever for the sake of a new version.

  “Marvel tried to fix their continuity problem in 2000 when they did the Ultimate universe which allowed for fresh takes on the characters and a chance to remove the problematic elements and make them work better in this current timeline.”

 Yeah and then that universe lasted just 15 years and then died on it’s ass after hobbling along since 2008, with Ultimate Spider-Man itself becoming creatively impoverished before Miles Morales showed up.

 Also ‘removing the problematic elements’? You mean like Venom and Carnage having personalities? Because...having personalities was an idea that was dated in the 2000s?

  “The Ultimate universe needed to be shut down because things had gotten too convoluted like the main universe”

 If the Ult Universe was too convoluted to be allowed to continue why was the even more convoluted 616 universe continued and in fact selling more than it?

 It’s almost like the Ultimate Universe fell into decline not because of too much convoluted history but because the stories sucked shit and no one gave a damn because they weren’t the original characters anyway.

  “In modern continuity Steve Rogers is back to normal but he’s still HYDRA Steve Rogers, still Old man Rogers, still  so convoluted”

 That isn’t convoluted.

 That’s just a lot of stuff happening. It’d be convoluted if he was all those things at the same time, but in reality he was just one thing after the other.

 And whilst that does kinda suck because a lot of those things were trash, the idea of events occurring like that isn’t being convoluted. It’s just storytelling.

 All those things occurred within the last 10 years of Captain America meaning that had Cap been rebooted 10 years ago by Comicstorian’s logic he’d need a reboot by now.

 By his logic the Flash should be rebooted again soon because too much shit has happened.

 I’d love for this guy to like check out long running manga like One Piece or Sailor Moon which has even wackier stuff in even shorter spaces of time and all within the same continuity.

 “It’s all just a mess!!!!!!”

 Translation: Comicstorian, the guy who you would think would know and appreciate comic book history and is able to roll with it, is pissed off that things are too hard to follow.

 Like Jesus fucking Christ this loser is a weaksauce fan. MOST comic book fans know and can roll with the weird histories, even learning to love them.

 This guy’s name is literally riding against his fucking attitudes.

 “Spider-Man history is convoluted because he was married but then he sold it to the devil so now he isn’t”

 This is the most damning example of Comicstorian knowing jack shit.

 Because of all things in Marvel One More Day is the closest thing to a continuity reboot akin to DC’s.

 He is literally pointing at a continuity reboot and saying it makes things a confusing effed up mess and then tries to use that to justify us...doing more of the same???????????????????

 “its so convoluted because he keeps going back to collage”

 You mean like....real life people do?

  “Spider-Man history is so convoluted because there is a whole series of venom lethal protector”

Okay so first of all Lethal protector was a mini-series not a whole series.

 Second of all that is VENOM HISTORY not SPIDER-MAN history.

 What? EVERY SPIN OFF counts towards making a character more convoluted?

 “Miles morales in the 616 universe only works if you don’t question his origin”

 I mean that is true but whilst not strictly speaking a reboot Miles’ migration from one universe to the next is storywise more similar to the types of convoluted messes that occur when continuity reboots happen.

 Case in point Power Girl being taken from Earth 2 and incorporated into the newly rebooted post-crisis DC universe or the deal with all the Milestone comics characters.

 Miles however is UNIQUE in these problems among Marvel characters whereas it’s more similar to the deal with DC characters.

 And Comicstorian is so blind he can’t even see that.

 *Comicstorian explains Miles is already a part of PS4 Spider-Man’s universe thus avoiding the problems of him being convoluted and by extention proving Marvel needs to reboot stuff*

 Basically this whole mess of a video exists off the back of how this one video game fixed the story problems of this one character in the Marvel universe who’s situation is actually unique among Marvel characters and more comparable to DC ones.

 THAT is why Comicstorian thinks ALL OF MARVEL should be rebooted.

 “we need a linear timeline for these sueprheroes now!”

 Most of the marvel heroes alreadyhave a linear timeline and always did in the pre-internet age when marvel fans just picked up the latest issue and winged it.

  “I have a nephew and it’s so hard to just give him a comic book”

 Then maybe Comicstorian’s nephew just won’t find comic books to his taste because that’s literally how every comic book fan got indoctrinated.

 Just fucking give him ASM vol 5 #1 by Spencer and if the story is good enough for him he’s in. It’s incredibly accessible for the most part.

 “It’s so hard explaining Miles morales to my nephew”

 Yeah because Miles is UNIQUE in having that convoluted a backstory.

 “Marvel history is too convoluted for younger audience members”

 Again I jumped onboard literally at the end of the most convulted Spider-Man era of all time, I dealt with divergences from the cartoon Spider-Man I knew, I purchased info books detailing his long crazy history.

 I was fine.

 In fact those info books are still sold on the mass market so they clearly have an audience for that convoluted history.

 “We don’t want kids to be intimidated by the confusing history like we adults are”

 Kids don’t view that stuff the way adults to, they’re more accepting of shit and roll with it.

 “It’s a lot to try and get into Spider-Man”

 If only there were jumping on points peppered throughout Spider-Man’s history which are ways for you to get invested without going through everything before hand?

  “The PS4 game is the best version of Spider-Man ever!”

 Better in some respects not as great in others.

 “It’s the best version because it’s one straight path”

 Pretty sure it’s more to do with the characetrization and stuff.