peel-a-potato-with-a-potato

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Me making a pot of red sauce this morning: Damn, I'm out of passata. Well, I made it without passata for like a year, maybe it doesn't even really need it.

The Italian ancestors I do not actually have: *collective indrawn breath*

Me, tasting the sauce: Aw, that's disappointing. It really does add a nice bright sweet note, I gotta buy passata next time I'm shopping.

My nonexistent Italian ancestors: *screaming, cheering, football chants*

My actual Norwegian ancestors: But...vere is smoket fish please?

Italians: *stare at Norwegians*

Norwegians: *stare at Italians*

Me: oh my God I'll make anchovy bagna cauda next time.

Everyone: *screaming, cheering, beating each other with salted cod*

When you have ADHD, you're never truly alone in the kitchen.

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Hey you all know about that fungus that possesses ants to make them climb on the tip of grass blades in hopes of getting eaten by a cow, so that the fungus can continue its life cycle in the cow's guts? Because I think that's the kind of thing that's wrong with cave divers.

We don't know what's down there. We don't know what's gotten into their heads that makes them so determined to physically, personally go down there to find out. But I wouldn't entirely dismiss the possibility that whatever has gotten into them is very invested in getting eaten by whatever is down there.

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they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

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my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

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“You’re right Jasper, I have been holding back”.

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was measuring out some sugar and i scooped out one spoonful and fucking said "two." i didn't know you could even lose count that fast

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Me: I’m going to start only eating when I’m hungry. That way I won’t snack all day long and I can enjoy proper meals when I actually need them instead :)

Me 22hrs after my last solid food: wait fuck I forgot about the ADHD

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im going crazy you have GOT to decouple romance/amatonormativity and marriage in your mind. you have GOT to understand that marriage is a legal document that protects you from exploitation especially if you are a woman or a stay-at-home anything. it is not some evil unique to heterosexual people. it is a legal document that says 'this is who i want in my hospital room when i die, this is who i want to have my stuff when i die, THIS PERSON OWES ME RECOMPENSE IF THEY KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE I LIVE IN"

You are not immune to being taken advantage of by your partner if you are queer. do not wind up homeless because your garbage live-ins name is on the lease and they decided to drop you like hot coals.

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There are two types of writers:

1. 'It's fiction, it doesn't need to make sense!'

2. 'I didn't account for the rotation of the planet and how that affects the constalations while my characters stargazed at different times of year, I have failed as a writer, and this entire thing is trash'

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cant even *** *****. because of woke.

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Whats the opposite of a girlboss. Im like a girlfailure

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Do you block people in the same fandom as you just because you don't like their takes?

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God the prices of tvs have changed so much let me get my graph