#Parentblr

[ahedderick]

Teen summer

Sitting quietly on an August morning, pondering my teen daughter's summer.

Her older brother moved out, down to Home Farm, and acquired a Roommate - so she not only got to spend lots of time in Brother's house, but also received a free, bonus brother. Roomate brought Missile the thoroughbred/quarterhorse cross to the pasture, so they have been riding a whole LOT more than she would have ridden on her own. The had to ride after dark through the worst of the heat, but horses have decent low light vision; no problem.

She had ordinary chores; farm animals, cleaning, a bit of cooking and canning, and garden - but only a very reasonable amount. She had one summer class online, but it was a rather compact seven weeks, and not too hard.

Friends. Tons of friends, really. College friends who traveled here to guest with us for a weekend, local friends. She is very blessed that way.

Swimming. Riding. Hiking. Catching crayfish. The Fair. Berrying. Caving. Travel. Family events. Gardening. Crochet, painting, drawing. We didn't manage to do the biking we wanted to do, but there's always something that falls off the list.

It's hard not to be jealous, really. But I know how hard I worked to break cycles and provide my kids with the opportunities they have for a safe, peaceful, pleasant life. Success comes as a surprise.

She's packing, now to leave for school on Sunday. I sure will miss her.

[sjonni33]

hi parents, guardians and child carer's of tumblr! i am currently illustrating some child illustrations (animals!) and i want to start writing a book to go with it! i'm here to ask what some things are you look for when picking out a book! think themes, messages etc. if you can, please fill out this form!

thank you!!

[case-study-of-parenting]

Inspired by "wine mom culture", I wanted to make a poll about parents' alcohol consumpition when their kids are present. Please read everything before voting!

For this poll "kids" means children under 15 years AND the one answering the poll must be considered their guardian. "Present" means in the kids are in the same house and awake. (If them being asleep makes a difference for you, feel free to comment that in the tags)

[ashadeintheshade]

Parents don’t want color coordinated plaids for the holidays we just want sleep

[joellesolo]

Lil started preschool this week, which has been great! except she wasn't routed in time for the bus (which is in her iep) which sucked. So there was a lot of farting around, Peanut being late to school, and grandparents stepping up to bat to help get Pea to school while I took Lil to school because their schools are twenty minutes apart.

But she starts the bus on Monday, and I'm just... super nervous, and worried, and anxious. Because she'll be on it in the morning for almost an entire hour! I feel like that's a lot of time to be stuck on a bus in a car seat with no one you know at three years old?! The ride home is only a half hour long, which is much much better, but still... just super worried.

She is totally loving school (even though they don't attend Wednesdays) and is only there for two and a half hours but, with this bus stuff, will be gone from the house for four hours. That's a long time for a little bun! So now I'm frantically researching airtags and stuff just because I'm so nervous and like... yeah. I don't know. If you use an airtag to keep track of your bus kids (or something similar) what do you think? Is there a better way?

I'm just nervous. An hour seems like a long fucking time to be stuck on a bus. And I can't give her like, a book or something, because she's too young to guarantee putting it in her backpack at the end of the drive you know? And that's obviously not something the bus driver needs to be worried about, with a bus full of preschoolers that are all on ieps... ugggghhh.

I'm just so nervous for her. Hopefully she's fine and I'm worried about nothing.

[v-tired-queer]

My goddaughter: *gets up from her spot and starts walking sway*

Me: Where are you going?

GD: *points out of the room*

Me: Can you use your words?

GD: Yeah! 😃

GD: *says nothing more and just walks away*

Me: . . .

[ourlordandsavior-celinedion]

Nothing can prepare you for parenthood. My 3 year old told me, "In the morning, I'm gonna go to the moon and KICK THE SUN OUT!" She's an unstoppable force and knows it.

[ahedderick]

As the mother of two young adults, it definitely worked for me.

I believe in gentle parenting. Unfortunately many people refuse to parent their child at all under the guise of gentle parenting. Sometimes you’ve got to look your fourth grader in the eye and say “Little dude, that was an asshole move.”

[ahedderick]

Kids, man

Oh, geez. I can't even remember how funny stuff got passed around in the earlier days of the internet. I do know that lots of people would forward 'humorous' emails around, and it was difficult or impossible to figure out who had created the original content. However. I remember one of those pass-arounds was a list of things you had to do to be able to say you were "ready" for parenthood. Two things from that list have stayed with me forever.

One: In order to prepare for having children, take a live goat to the grocery store with you. You have to get through the store and buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat destroy anything or harm anyone. If you plan on having multiple children, you must take multiple goats. (If anyone wants to borrow a goat for this purpose, Nutmeg volunteers)

Two: Suspend a whole cantaloupe from the ceiling by a string. Cut a small hole in one side of the cantaloupe. Get some Cheerios and milk in a bowl. Now, set the cantaloupe swinging gently. Try to spoon the Cheerios into the hole in the melon.

Just those two things had me laughing until I cried. I had really good kids, mind you! But we certainly had our challenging moments. Those items sound like they are humorously exaggerated. However. I must tell you. They are not.

@rederiswrites do you remember any moments like that?

[jotfabe]

Yet another misleading image caption, smh. That kid is clearly leading his mother to a drunkard's grave. Any parents on here will confirm this is actually what happens.

Pickles are a gateway drug. The first gherkin is free.

[ethicalconsumehr]

Hey guys, Let’s stop calling people “fakers” when their mental illness isn’t ‘obvious’!

You will never know what it feels like to constantly fake happiness and stability everyday of your life and quietly suffer so well that everyone feels they have the right to tell you that you couldn’t possibly be going through anything.

If you don’t complain, you deserve support.

If you don’t vent, you deserve support.

If you go in and out of hospitals alone, you deserve support.

If your friends and family don’t know, you deserve support.

If you constantly support others while not receiving any yourself, guess what? You deserve support.

And if you have the audacity to tell people they don’t have depression or anxiety because they don’t “act like it”, you’re wrong and you’re probably one of the reasons they don’t tell people.

To all the boys who keep their hurt to themselves because their friends are patronizing and would never understand because the things they say are like knives to a heart. The boys who are lowkey bullied by their friends because it’s “normal” and just “jokes” that friends have. The boys who are not comfortable with being thought of as weak or over emotional because they have the audacity to feel their feelings. The boys who are the only man their mama has, the only man their siblings have. Just know, I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To all the children of immigrant folk who keep their pain to themselves because they feel like they don’t deserve to complain because of what their families have been through, just know I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To all the oldest siblings who keep their hurt to themselves and act as a safe space for their siblings and a protection for their loved ones, who never asked anyone else to be that for them. Just know I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To all the parental figure friends (mom friend/dad friend) and therapist friends and floater friends in friend groups who have always been the facilitator of peace and stability for everyone else and have always done their best at making everyone else feel comfortable, and heard, and loved, and safe and included, who themselves have almost never felt comfortable, safe, heard, loved, and included. Just know I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To the smart kids in class who are always participating and carrying conversations and helping others by being a second teacher, who everyone believes has a perfect home life and has it all under control and feeling good helping the people that need it even though they need it just as much, just know that I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To all the kids whose grades are silently slipping, who have started skipping, who have adopted bad habits or abandoned the things they used to love, unbeknownst to their peers and loved ones, who believe that this is just a confirmation that nothing they do will ever be worth anyone’s time or attention. Just know that I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To all the parents out there who are suffering alone, maybe because they are distant from their family, distant from their spouse, and can’t rely on their children because they are children, who are fighting everyday to keep themselves afloat so they can keep their kids afloat. Who feel guilty for wanting to run away, hide, cry in your mamas arms. You are selfless, you are brave, you are a hero, you deserve love and support. Just know that I love you and someone out there understands what you’re going through and how much it hurts.

To anyone anywhere who has gone through anything painful, you are loved, someone out there understands you and how much it hurts.

Be mindful what you say to people.

[chin-chillax]

Me watching this baby shove away his bottle at every opportunity just to excitedly suck on his own hands.

“I had a craving only hands could satisfy”

[ahedderick]

   This isn’t just theory, by the way. I raised my two by giving them support anytime they needed it, never letting them ‘cry it out,’ and going the extra mile to make sure they felt safe and loved. Now I have two young adults who are significantly stronger and more emotionally resilient than the majority of their peers. I’ve watched both of them weather various teen traumas, and cannot believe how much better off they are than I was at the same age (or than their friends are.) Love and support WORKS.

   The worst thing is that parents who don’t do this aren’t necessarily intending to be neglectful or mean, they were just taught that being ‘tougher’ on their kids was necessary for the kids to learn strength. They were taught WRONG, but at least on some level they’re trying to do right by their kids. I was taught wrong, too, but I’m a STUBBORN nd bitch who tends to do my own thing regardless of what others think - and occasionally that works in my favor.

you know what’s always bothered me? how people talk about their babies having “random weird fussy days” and they get mad about it right but the thing about that is...

babies don’t steadily grow, they grow in spurts, which means on a growth day they’re in quite a lot of pain ... but no one takes it seriously because a baby can’t communicate that they’re growing over a centimeter over night and that HURTS

like, massage your fussy baby ... theyre having a hard time ... theyre growing obscene amounts in a short period of time and need love and care ...

[nycfoodieblog]

Watch "Starting baby food | Unbelievable baby weaning solid food for smart brain & metabolism| Baby foods" on YouTube

[gwyneirastorm]

As a mother to a toddler, FUCK YOU, UNIVERSAL. FUCK YOU AND YO MOMMA AND THAT LAME ASS SHOW YOU RODE IN ON.

GET. FUCKED.

[ahedderick]

Teens and Twenties

Spend twenty years agonizingly "Breaking the Cycle" and then turn around and look at your cheerful, emotionally mature and healthy young adult children and say "How did this happen?!"

I'm so proud of them, and I worked very hard to have this outcome. It can be almost baffling, though. You mean, I could have been like this when I was 20? I thought I was doing well, back then - but it was all duct tape, string, and an industrial-strength mask with cracks around the edges! NOW I realize what young adults are supposed to look and act like!

Damn. Crazy. Well, no time to cry, have things to do.