#Parasocial relationships must be going like crazy

[crowhoonter]

ya ever think about how in the cape conventions that assumedly exist in the wormverse, they probably had to explicitly ban E88 cosplay like how a lot of real life cons have to ban Nazi shit? Who was the first chucklefuck to show up dressed up as Kaiser or Krieg? At that point they couldn't even hide behind the excuse of "its just a character bro" like no that's a real ass person. The worst couples costume ever being Nacht und Nebel.

Or imagine the other brand of edgelords going as Slaughterhouse 9 members. Maybe someone is tasteless enough to sell a Jack Slash Bodypillow. Just an absolute disaster in every regard.

Maybe Cape Conventions are a bad idea actually

[inkskinned]

i have a fever. let's imagine pokemon world dash discourse together. (sorry i do not have darkmode.)

🤳🏻 pokestopit reblogged team-sprocket

👻 gengaydar Follow

For the last fucking time owning a gengar is NOT graverobbing. what is actually wrong with you people

#gengar #why am i even still on this site #i don't have a gengar but like. what's even going on over there #is marowak graverobbing now too??

💅 deerlinguist reblogged givemeyourstrongestpotion

👩‍❤️‍👩 lightscreend Follow

farfetch'd is like the most edible pokemon just because he comes with his own aromatics. pop that bad boy in the oven with some oran berries.... don't mind if i do

⚧ feministforcepalm Follow

@dyketraining tags pass peer review

🚣🏼‍♂️ magicarpaltunnel reblogged haxorsus

🐦‍⬛ corvikite Follow

I love to hate things and people. And when I turn out to be RIGHT and that person is a DICK? All parasocial relationships are bad and evil unless I am right about hating someone and then parasocial relationships are good actually

🪐waterbubbil Follow

We all thought about the same person let's just be honest here....

🎀 contest-winrar Follow

For me it's always going to be people who keep Pokémon without any thought as to their enrichment and needs. You do not need a fucking Arcanine, you live in a studio apartment and don't walk more than a block a day. You think you want a Gardevoir but are you okay with having an unknowable creature reading your thoughts every waking moment of the day? Even while you do... the nasty?

It drives me crazy because people see a Champion and think they have the time, energy, money, and space necessary to raise a Dragon type. Unless you have generational wealth, let me spell it out for you: you do not have the funds for a Dragon type. And yes! Charizard is on that list, guys! You can't even afford to feed yourself!

📯 jessiejustlickme Follow

local tumblr user declares the poors only get rat pokemon. maybe a bug pokémon if we are very good. we must grovel in the streets amen

🎀 contest-winrar Follow

Laugh all you want but I'm serious. I have heard of someone who is living with a MR. MIME like it's her HUSBAND!!!! That's fucking GROSS. These are creatures that TRUST us and NEED us.

Did you know that most Ponyta prefer to be in a herd? Are you going to have the space for that? Did you know that if you don't properly care for certain fire species their flame goes out? Sure, they're cute when they're small: but unless you're a rancher or a Gym Leader... I'm sorry. You're gross to me if you think otherwise. I hate people like that.

And for the record, rat and bug Pokémon are very valuable from an ecological standpoint. They hold an extremely important niche. People like you would rather they be hunted to extinction because they're pests, not pretty. It's disgusting.

🐦‍⬛ corvikite Follow

anybody in this thread smoke weed

#NOT THE RATS FOR THE POOR PEOPLE... GIRLLLLLL #the thing is they're not like... wrong.... #like i agree with the sentiment #my friend tried to get a slyveon just by like. playing catch a few times #.... like you do need to try.... #also fyi i have a large species so i'm biased #grovyle my baby . my man. u are costing me like so much in pokepuffs per month

👁‍🗨 badsol

why are we all talking about what pokemon to eat tonight lmafo

#.... obviously jigglypuff. homegirl is 90% cotton candy

🪅 feebassguitar reblogged metrognome

🫖 sinisteacher Follow

Like okay I got into science because I love to learn but the more I find out about how we've classified Pokémon types the more insane I feel. What do you mean there's no singular true indicator? What do you mean that there are several conditions which completely alter their base type?

Literally today my lab partner and I got into a very serious discussion about Luxray. That thing is a fuckking dark type!!!!! I'm sorry!!! I don't care what Bulbapedia says!!!! anyway i threw a pokeball at him and it swallowed him whole and now i'm going to jail for unlawful imprisonment of a TA

🍙 thesandwichking Follow

there's something, like, very dystopian about the idea that if u put an ugly hat on ur favorite little creature it changes like. the DNA. like. do other pokemon look at what you've done and cower? that's their friend... similar but changed... forever having known a life that is entirely alien to them...

🐳 wailordsupreme Follow

.... Are we going to ignore that OP swallowed a human into a ball???

#yes we are. #my friend loves those hats but I think they're so ugly #and stupid #if i wanted a specific type imma get that type..... #typesetting #show james

🧗‍♀️ backpacksandcavesnacks reblogged eevee-lotion

👑 lemmegrabmyballs Follow

ROUND 5 of 6 (see blog for more)

PLEASE REBLOG FOR VISIBILITY:

✍️ dreepydrabbles reblogged ash-hole

☠️ marrowhackoff Follow

just saw someone say writing omegaverse fanfic of your pokemon is bestiality. ma'am this is the monster fucking site. you should be grateful that it's only omegaverse.

#the things i've seen would melt your eyebrows clean off your face #..... typhlosion they could never make me hate you baby #i know that's not what's in your heart

🪽 honey-tree-skies reblogged gymcrawler

🐛 youngstirjoey Follow

Okay say what you will. But shorts really are comfy and easy to wear

🛀🏽 intimidatecutsyourattack Follow

Sorry bud. But. Investing at 3 notes

🐛 youngstirjoey Follow

don't do this to me. i h avue a wife . and chi ld

[pop-punklouis]

wanted to ask your opinion on the chappel roan tiktoks she made the other day about fame and boundaries. i know a lot of people are siding with her, but i just feel like she could've been nicer about what she said...? i get that she had this crazy rise in fame the past few months. and i dont know how i would respond to that change, but to be upset bc fans want to take photos with you and to be so rude about it bc you're on "your time" just???. idk i feel like im in the minority here

i think you're missing the entire point of her message, babe. you're choosing to focus on the "taking pictures with fans" part of her rant instead of what she was really talking about, which is the harassments and objectifications she's been the victim of due to this meteoric rise to fame. she was not saying you couldn't come up and ask her for a photo. she was saying, if she told a fan "no" that some fans have immediately called her rude and tried to start an agenda about her being ungrateful and harsh in person. she was never talking about nice fan interactions. she was most definitely talking about every other interaction she's gotten that has been. inhumane

regardless, why should she be nicer about... anything... she was talking about? i'm tired of the parasocial and chronically online dictating how celebrities must react to fame and to their fans. harassment, stalking, manipulation, condescension.... these do not have to be synonymous with fame because hey! people don't have to treat other human beings like they're caged animals in a zoo! because they! signed up for this lifestyle! those aren't normal things and no one should expect someone to just. adapt to those things like it is. she can be as mean as she wants, dude. i don't blame her

why are people stalking her family? why are people pushing her boundaries? why are people pretending like her very valid and raw critique of how she's been treated since she went uber-viral are actually her "showing her true colors" and being "unappreciative" for what she chose to do for a living? like she stated in her videos, you don't know her. she doesn't know you. it is not normal to pretend like you do and to interact with her like you do. tiktok has made this parasocial relationship with celebrities worse than i ever could've imagined and we are seeing the darker side of it with chappel roan right now because she is being vocal about it. it's overwhelming. it's very abnormal. and it should be discussed more.

these people don't owe you anything. it's one thing to be ungrateful for what fans have given you. its another thing to feel like you are living in a fish bowl because people are treating you like a commodity instead of a living, breathing human being. i'm all for more celebrities drawing a harsh line in the sand when it comes to their personal life and their public persona. you are not obligated to their time no matter how much you feel you are. i cannot imagine becoming a practical overnight-sensation like she has the past summer. i would go absolutely insane on day three. so, why don't people turn on their dome piece and think for two seconds about how irrational and brainless it is to be upset that she "could've said :( things nicer :(" and she needs to be "more :( grateful :( otherwise :( she's not cut out :( for fame :(" liiiiike. no perhaps its you that needs to reevaluate how you treat other human beings depending on if they have the label "celebrity" over their head and go from there!

because what she said is something that's needed to be said for a long, long time regarding celebrity culture i just hate it's happening to her on such a scale that she needed to say it at all.

[weirdsht]

My Beautiful Stranger, My Soulmate - Cale/Fem! Reader

notes: for some reason i have a thing for continued love, maybe the reason why i'm single is because my soulmate is in another timeline/dimension /hj ... anyways this was the fic that i've wanted to write for the longest time but had no time for hehe

tags: female reader, novel spoilers (KRS' past and some war stuff), angst? not sure, continued love-esc, told in Cale's pov, one-sided admiration, strangers, Cale is whipped, mentions of abuse

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Everyone wants to have something constant in their life. Something that would keep them grounded. Something that would give them a sense of normalcy when everything else feels crazy. 

For most, a person will be their constant and their pillar. Choosing a loved one in their life that supports and cares for them. Just someone they can go through during the tough times in their life.

Kim Rok Soo’s case is the same… for the most part, that is.

The difference that sets him apart from the average person is the fact that his constant person is a stranger.

He knows what she looks like. Knows her mannerisms. Has seen her for almost his entire life.

Yet he doesn’t know her name. Doesn’t know what her speaking voice sounds like. Has never had a personal interaction with her. 

Is this considered to be a type of parasocial relationship? Maybe, but Rok Soo can’t be bothered to find out.

Kim Rok Soo’s first interaction with his constant was when he was a child. During the short while of his life where he was happy, complete. When his loving parents are still alive. That was the first time he saw her.

It was during daycare. The daycare is separated into morning and afternoon sessions. His parents had enrolled him for the morning sessions.

At first, he didn’t want to go. Even as a kid he had preferred the peace his house could offer compared to socializing with the outside world. But alas, it wasn’t like he had a choice, his parents had already enrolled him so he had to go. Plus either way, he has to attend school sooner or later.

That’s why he goes, albeit reluctantly. He participates in whatever antics the teachers/caretaker does even when all he wants to do is go back home. For him, daycare was extremely tiring.

However, all that tiredness was wiped away when dismissal arrived. And no, it wasn’t just because he was excited to see his parents and go back home.

It was actually because of the girl he saw. She was a cute kid, wearing a cute dress with her hair tied in those typical twin-tailed hairstyles girls her age would have. Rok Soo didn’t see her in daycare so she must be part of the afternoon session.

Since then, he looked forward to attending daycare just to catch a glimpse of her during dismissal.

Unfortunately, Kim Rok Soo’s life took a turn for the worse at such a young age. Tragedy had befallen upon him. His parents died and his uncle is a piece of shit that hits children. It was no surprise that he had forgotten about that pretty girl in daycare.

The universe seems to not want him to forget though.

Because then why else would he see her again in the playground he runs to whenever his uncle's house is too much? Why else she be there when they were far from the town where Rok Soo attended daycare?

‘It must be fate’

That’s what little Rok Soo thinks to himself as he watches her and her friends play on the monkey bars. He just watches them from inside the castle fortress thing that no one ever uses. The sand underneath him served as his cushion.

Sometimes he wants to join, he wants to befriend her too. But he isn’t really one for moving around, for playing such physically tiring games. Even if he was, his injuries from his beatings are stopping him from doing so. Hence why he was content with playing with the sand beneath his feet while watching her laugh as she tried to not get caught by her friend during a round of tag.

Despite what Rok Soo says, his constant isn’t as steady in his life as he wants her to be. There are long periods of his life where he wouldn’t see her.

Which was why he was internally overjoyed when he saw her not only taking the same bus as him but also going to the same library. They seem to have the same schedule, and the same free time allocated for reading books in the library. The library and the novels they held were already Rok Soo’s safe space, his constant’s presence only made it more heavenly.

Kim Rok Soo knows that his constant doesn’t know who he is. Even if he remembers seeing her almost every day, in her perspective he was just a random, faceless stranger.

However, sometimes there are incidents where he would think otherwise. Is he being delusional? Absolutely, but who would call him out? The voices in his head? His already used to blocking them out.

One incident was after the day she didn’t go to the library. Rok Soo was a bit concerned as this was the first time she skipped her usual library session. The next day after that, someone had left a canned drink on his desk. It’s the drink she usually buys from the vending machine. As a matter of fact, Rok Soo had never seen anyone else pick that drink except for her.

So sue him for being delusional, but that was definitely from his constant.

When the cataclysm started, Kim Rok Soo was sure he would never see her again.

But the universe had other plans.

No matter what happens, fate seems to be pulling them together. Intertwining their destinies.

Kim Rok Soo should be happy and should be overjoyed that he gets to see her.

However, he isn’t.

In fact, he wished he hadn’t seen her.

For maybe then he could’ve lived in ignorant bliss.

“Hurry and go! I’ll hold things down over here!”

Rok Soo’s constant commanded firmly. This is the first time he has heard her speak, and god does she sound heavenly. However, this isn’t the time for this. The eclipse is still happening, barrage after barrage of monsters is still coming after every shelter.

Still, he can’t help but admire her for a second. She’s so strong, so cool, so put together.

He just wishes she hadn’t been so selfless.

The skinny man couldn’t help but hold onto the hem of his clothes. Staring at her as if begging her to come with him using his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. You should go first, I’ll follow soon.”

Lies

Kim Rok Soo knows that she won’t be following them anytime soon. He is well-aware of the fact that after this the next time he would be reunited with her is in the afterlife.

That’s why he tries to convince her even though he knows he will ultimately fail.

Years passed after that and Kim Rok Soo never saw his constant again. How could he when she passed away? When she sacrificed herself for his sake and others.

Despite the accumulation of the time and people Rok Soo met, he never forgot her. He could never forget her. Sometimes he would just sit in silence, remembering how her voice sounded. Relishing the first and last words she spoke to him.

This did not change even after he became a team leader. As a matter of fact, the only change is that now he’s mourning for three people, instead of one.

His longing for her was strong. It did not disappear even after becoming Cale Henituse. He would still think of her despite turning over a new leaf, literally turning over a new life.

Cale longs to hold her again. This time not just the hem of her clothing but her hand. He wishes to have a proper conversation with her. Longs to ask her why she likes that canned drink that no one else drinks so much.

He longs to get to know her outside of the things he has observed. Wants to be the cause of her smile, and not merely watch others do it in his stead.

But alas, he couldn’t.

For not only is she dead, but his in another world.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he saw a familiar face standing up for him during the noble's meeting.

“Personally, I think we should just be grateful to Commander Cale Henituse. If it weren’t for him and his people then our kingdom would be in graver danger that we would not even be able to conduct such a meeting.”

She looked exactly how Cale remembered her. Her voice still has that same firmness in it, telling everyone in the room how she also wields power despite being younger than all of them.

“That’s correct young master. However, there are still some things that should be addressed. Such as that necromancer–”

“She has a name, it’s Mary. And she’s not a mere necromancer, she’s a revered hero of our kingdom. One of the people who had defended our kingdom from the Indomitable Alliance.”

Cale didn’t know he could fall deeper after all these years, but he just did.

“Due all respect my lady, but you are still young. I think your emotions are getting the best of you. Mind you that you are not even the heir of your household.”

The ugly noble tried to retaliate to which Cale’s constant only raised her eyebrows at.

“Oh my, how disgraceful… A noble pulling the age card just because his nearing his expiry age. Now forgive my disrespect, but you started it first… How dare you look down on me, the top 1% contributor to this Kingdom’s economy? I have built a name for myself outside of my family’s influence while all you have is your family’s standing. And emotional? Really? Of course, I’m emotional, the lives of our citizens are at stake and all you mongrels seem to care more about powerplay like the hungry bastards you all are. Is it because you’re not on the front lines? Is it because you think you can do what Commander Cale Henituse did? Then I dare you to do so at this very moment. Go to the frontlines and defend this kingdom you all claim to love very much!”

A deafening silence followed the young woman’s speech. Even Alberu had to take a double take. Everyone is tense, they don’t know what to say. Can’t refute what she said.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Your Highness, Commander Cale. I simply cannot tolerate such disrespect when you are pulling most of the weight during these trying times. Please, let us proceed with our original agenda.”

Her poise never left her, even as she tore down every noble inside the room. Contrarily, the more she speaks, the more it looks as though she also possesses Dominating Aura.

At her insistence, the meeting got back on track. Most of the nobles were already silenced because of her, Alberu and Cale only had to deliver the finishing blow before wrapping everything up.

Once everything was done and settled Cale made plans to talk to his constant. Get to know her name, and finally interact with her. He knows that in her eyes his just a stranger. Someone who has no personal connections with her. But that doesn’t stop the redhead. He can always start forging their connection right here, right now.

He’ll do anything to not let her slip from his grasp once again.

And so the commander slithers his way towards where she is. He already had it all planned out; he’ll start the conversation by thanking her for standing up in Mary’s defence before asking for her name, and then he’ll let things flow naturally from there.

Despite running the simulations in his head, the only thing he could do once he was face to face with her was standing there. Face marred with shock and mouth unable to form words?

The cause?

Oh nothing much, it’s just because of her greeting.

“It’s nice to finally meet my beautiful stranger from Earth whose name I still don’t know. I’m [Name] [Lastname], may I know Commander Cale Henituse’s Earth name?”

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

i wonder how many followers have you gained since the beginning of this whole madness and how many notifications do you get? and do you go through all of them?

because i'm just now realizing i have formed a parasocial relationship with someone who was literally just existing only 3 days ago unknown by anyone and it's strange for me, i can't even imagine what it must be like for you

Hello maggot! Well, it's, uh, somewhere in the mid 600s, followers wise. And the notifications are a lot, but yes, I go through almost all of them, even if I can't reply to them all. Clearly I miss a few sometimes (I only found out Neil Gaiman liked my post because some of you all were talking about it in the replies RIP but anyway what you all say is more important to me) but I'm trying coz everything you all say is so wonderfully sweet, though sometimes uh, crazy and mentally scarring, because this is Fandom. So it is to be expected.

It's definitely been... wild. Again, I only joined tumblr a few days before Christmas. But honestly? I joined tumblr to make friends and find a community, and maybe it went a little unexpectedly, since I didn't think I would create a community, but this is amazing. I love all of you maggots (why are you guys letting me call you that).

To be fair, chaos has always followed me wherever I go, I switched from science to arts because of Drarry fanfiction etc. But this is one of the strangest bits of chaos that I've fallen into.

It's crazy that my just being a clueless dumbass and slowly descending into fandom madness and crying over Crowley brings joy to people, but I always knew fandoms were sadistic, I mean uh, open to new recruits. And you guys bring me so much joy too. And tears. Yes a lot of that. Crowley my child.

*waves eagerly* I'm glad to be here with you all. I was so lonely, and I'm not anymore.

I hope you guys know you aren't alone, too. You have an adopted mascot to traumatise now!

[wbdiene]

I never share my opinion on this matters, but now I want to spend some words on it.

I just returned home, and as soon as I opened Instagram, I saw a post of globalmyeon about some "fans" sending protest trucks to SM and Karina following the news of her dating Lee JaeWook. Obviously, it is not the first time that I see "fans" sending trucks to the entertainments, but this time, the messages left me with my jaw on the FLOOR. While reading the messages, I felt SICK and disgusted by the fans' behaviour, and I don't even want to know how Karina or Lee JaeWook felt.

I've never liked how K-pop, as a whole, pushed parasocial relationships to the point where fans ARE entitled to have a say on the idols' lives without consequences.

At this point, the problem is not even the fans but the entertainments that punish the idols instead of taking action because they are too scared of losing money. Do they realise that if they sell 1,000,000 million albums instead of 1,000,020, they aren't going into bankruptcy? Especially SM that has 300 groups and they are all extremely successful.

Not to mention that I'm genuinely worried for the people who sent the trucks or share the same opinion. This is borderline insane, like this type of people MUST seek help, because it is not normal being THIS invested in someone's life.

I'm going to quote some of the craziest phrases I have read because they've entered in my top 10 stupidest things I've ever had the disgrace to read:

"Why did you choose to betray fans?" Love, we are not in a telenovela where the protagonist caught her partner cheating

"Please personally apologise to us." Now Karina ,in her free time, is going to send personalised letters to each and every one of her fans

"You messed up your own career yourself. Are you satisfied?" Karina preparing for yet another successful comeback: 👁👄👁

If I was not aware of the situation, I would think that she did something unforgivable. Turns out she's just dating someone.

You want to know what's funny?

Karina wrote an apology letter.

The crazy fans won. Money won.

Am I dramatic? Probably.

Am I tired of seeing Human beings being treated like jesters? Yes.

[barbylion]

wyd when an otherwise harmless confrontation with your gf's other gf becomes a bloody standoff incited by some fuckass walmart brand cthulhu freak and ultimately ends in your death ? 🤨

and wyd when you miraculously come back at the hands of some obscure entity that acts like they don't want anything from you but deep down you know that everything comes with a price; especially these crazy abilities you suddenly have? 🤔

Meet Zar!

(she/they)

Zahara "Zar" Hawthorne

pronouns: she/they

age: 18

dob: December 17th, 2005

death date: January 1st. 2023

resurrection date: January 8th, 2023

orientation: biromantic, aegosexual

general fc: amandla stenberg

starkid fc: tiffany williams

facts n things:

was That Girl™️: popular cheerleader, but nice enough to have a plug in every clique; in the top 10 of her class; had the perfect girlfriend, etc. etc. very sweet girl, just had the worst friends

was (and is) deeply strange by normie standards. hangs out in graveyards and develops parasocial relationship with some of the tombstones. has a serious fascination with life, death, anatomy, bugs, the supernatural, etc.

initially kept that shit to herself bc it's social suicide—total grounds for being a nerdy prude. dying changes ur outlook a bit, though. release ur inhibitions, feel the rain, etc, etc

can be very blunt and outspoken. despite being well meaning and friendly, she'll sometimes say things without thinking but they always apologize as soon as they realize she's stuck a foot in her mouth. all but abandoned her peppy sunshiney half after coming back. she's still in there, somewhere. but it'll take a lot for them to fully trust someone enough again

so, what happened?

their gf's other woman, who I'll name Lou for simplicity, got her to come out to the ol' Waylon place so they could "talk"

many things lead to many other things and an "intimidation" attempt turns into a murder attempt, with Lou being under the influence of Wiggly

ruh roh! snapped out of it, Lou is in a panic and decides to call the mutual gf for advice

mutual gf is the worst person ever, actually. instead of turning Lou in, she helps her cover things up and they dump Zar's body deep in the Witchwood Forest

but wait, there's more! Zar's not quite dead and eventually succumbs to a combination of their wounds and the freezing January night

but not before weakly calling out to somebody, anybody for help

seven days later and She Has Risen! with the help of a currently undetermined entity, but renewed life comes with a price and, in order to live, Zar must do their bidding

it's not all bad, though. they don't ask for things super often (but when they do, there's absolutely no objections. ever.) and have been super helpful in both Zar's revenge plot and honing her newly gained abilities. sometimes she uses her powers for good tho

anywayy, Zar dropped out of Hatchetfield High after being murdered—fair tbh. who needs a GED when you can work at the seedy occult store in town and also be an immortal witch of ambiguous moral standing 🤷🏽‍♀️

but tbh - at the end of the day, they're still just a 18 year old girl. imagine all the cringe 18 year old quirks and throw them into a vat of powerful murder gremlin soup. that's Zar

(after)life goals:

get revenge ✅

join smoke club ✅

resurrect the Victorian Dandy whose grave she hung around the most—they had a tryst in the afterlife and are saur in love 🔳

go on a tour of all the most haunted places in the world 🔳

see Gossip, Babymetal, and MCR in concert 🔳🔳🔳

Zahara and her story draw heavy influence from Jennifer's Body, Lisa Frankenstein, Poor Things, every other goth horror queen and a myriad of tropes I really enjoy. they're my manic murder goth girl, but she's so chill if you're cool 😌

Pre-Death Pinterest

After-Death Pinterest

[oswildin]

The Pedro TikTok Craze…

Warnings: Mentions of sexualisation, parasocial relationships and 18+ themes

I just watched a video by Kuncan Dastner on YouTube called ‘I hate how fast we Objectify Celebrities’.

It discusses the recent flurry of fans of Pedro Pascal and how the media and TikTok/Twitter users have quickly objectified and overtly sexualised him.

As a newer Pedro stan, (TLOU was my Pedro awakening), it makes me uncomfortable seeing the vast amount of comments and edits online regarding the man. Don’t get me wrong, most edits I see are benign and more appropriate, however, there’s been a few I’ve come across using a certain scene of Pedro from Narcos that really makes me feel… Icky. As well as comment sections being filled with inappropriate words and almost verging on sexual harassment.

It’s one thing to find a celebrity attractive… It’s another to write out a detailed comment saying what you would do to them, or how you want them to do such and such to you. The ‘Daddy’ comment clearly started as a joke, but with the sexual connotation surrounding the word, it has quickly taken off into a whole new obscure direction. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with calling a celebrity ‘daddy’, or ‘mommy’, if they haven’t stated they don’t like it, but using it in any other relation other than ‘they’re attractive and I love them’ personally makes me feel uneasy… So I often wonder how those celebrities must feel.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the VAST amount of smutty fanfics surrounding Pedro’s characters (or even him himself). Whilst I am not against smut, it is disheartening to go to certain tags and see that that is all that is taking them up. Maybe i’m just a prude. This isn’t me ‘coming for’ any writers who do specialise in smut writing (hats off to you, could never be me), or those who read the fics, that isn’t my point. It’s just crazy to me that the majority of fics out there regarding Pedro & his characters ARE smut.

I think the line between the celebrity and the fan has become so blurry that it’s hard to know what it means to love a celebrity. I go through multiple fixations (love that ND trait), of loving certain celebrities and characters that eventually chop and change. Hell, I’ve had/have crushes on Tom Hiddleston, Matt Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch, Oscar Isaac, Sacha Dhawan… Pedro Pascal… But I’ve never seen a craze quite like the one with Pedro recently.

Interviewers constantly asking Pedro the same questions (which unfortunately is just the media industry, they usually don’t do their research and tend to go in with questions given to them), about ‘how does it feel to be the internet daddy?’, ‘why do you think so many people love you?’, ‘what do you think about the tiktok edits?’ And so on… It must become tiresome and overwhelming. Whilst the recent clip of the interviewer asking Pedro to read thirst tweets didn’t come across as him being uncomfortable, he did deny reading them out. Maybe it was because it was a Disney premiere, or maybe it was something else. But I think that’s where the line should be drawn. Having interviewers show these human beings sexual comments strangers have been writing about them on the internet (unless they have specifically agreed or consented to reading them).

I don’t know, maybe I’m rambling and being too touchy. But I know if I was in Pedro’s shoes, I think I would start to become a little uncomfortable with the amount of attention my physical appearance was getting rather than my work. I’m not saying don’t appreciate his appearance, or have little fantasies to yourself, but I think there’s a point where it becomes too… real, when it’s publicly shared online. Let alone shown to him on a red carpet.

The man is a heartthrob, and he deserves every bit of attention he gets for his work and character, but can we please agree that boundaries exist and think ‘would I like someone to say or think this about me?’

[jerzwriter]

What do you think about TS shading her fans in TTPD?

Hey Nonny!

I should post a disclaimer... because most people (even some who have known me a long time) still don't seem to get my sense of humor in regard to all things Taylor Swift, and beyond. (People really need to lighten the fuck up, but I digress...)

Look, I get it. Being a public figure and having your entire life under a microscope must be hard. I wouldn't want it. I don't envy it. Parasocial relationships are a thing, and people are crazy, so it's gotta suck....

but.....

Taylor has carefully cultivated those parasocial relationships and turned them into a profitable business model. It has turned her into one of the most powerful women in the world and has made her a Billionaire with a B. So I think our lil' baby doll needs to understand sometimes she's gonna have to suck it up. You can't have it both ways.

I play the Taylor gossip game - to a degree. It's fun. It's light. It's harmless. Do I think some fans are over-the-top? Yes. A thousand times, yes. To quote my daughter: I'm a Swiftie, so I can say this... some of us Swifties are the most annoying motherfuckers on Earth.

Cosigned. 1,000%. 10,000%.

but.....

I think Tay Tay was referring to the Healey affair of 2023, and I have thoughts on that. See, I love Ms. Swift, but I'm not naive. I know she's cultivated an image that is not necessarily reality. But, if she's going to paint herself as a progressive face of white feminism, lgbtq+ causes, and more—performative or not—then she has to walk the walk, and if she doesn't, then she should expect to be taken to task. Healy is a POS, and any association with him would reflect on her. She's too smart and too savvy a businesswoman not to realize that, so I don't give 2 shits about the tears she shed over that.

Now, are some fans INSANE? Yes. Like, I listened to the album, and I'm like, "Oh, Joe, you dirty dog." Me and my friends sent each other amusing GIFs, it's all in good FUN (see disclaimer above). Am I really giving Joe a second thought? No. If I see him on the street, will I attack him? No. Do I honestly care? No. For the record, Taylor has me convinced she is far from the face of stability and is a lil' off too... that's one of the things I like about her... us "off" chicks have to stick together. She herself said she sees her part in the problem, so I'm not sitting here hating Joe.

And while I'll engage in the cuteness that is Taylor/Kelce (what is their couple name? See, this is how much I care...) for FUN... I honestly don't give a damn there, either. Like, it doesn't pay my bills. Doesn't impact my relationships. Do I want her to be happy? Yeah. I want everyone to be happy. But I'm not personally invested. Some fans are... and some push that "off" into the not-fun territory. So I can see that being a bit of a concern... but again, when you cultivate parasocial relationships, this shit's gonna happen. Am I mad at her for the lyrics? No. Will I be relistening and freaking over the music tonight? You better fucking believe it.

Thanks for the ask, Nonny!

[rrxnjun]

THE HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO UUUU!!! I HOPE U HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER AND HAVE FUN!!!!! U ARE JUST SUCH A LOVELY PERSON SO I HOPE THIS YEAR WILL TREAT U WELL!!!!!🥳🥳🥳💕💞💗💘🩷🌷🌷

tbh idk if we have discussed this but i was born in 2003 as well😎 (tbh i think i might have just seen u saying that u were born in the same year as treasure doyoung so i was like crazy we are bringing in the same year but never really thought about saying it 🤣😶) well i want to learn knitting that's my plan for the summer but i do embroidery and i love painting baking and reading so i'm ready for the grandma life (tbh i also braid bracelets but i don't think many grandmas do that 🫣)

U CAN DO IT!! I BELIEVE!!! but godddamn u are a king for that istg like getting an a after that u are just too powerful!!! and thank u💗🩷

ooo man☹️☹️☹️ that just sucks☹️☹️i almost couldn't go i had to beg my one friend to just come with me and convince her that it will be fun😭so i somewhat understand the pain it's hard out here not having friends with the same music taste😔👊

LMAO SORRY DIDNT MEAN IT AS A THREAT JUST AS A WARNING U KNOW🥲🤣 oh my u are really getting deep with treasure then:o AND LIKE MANS HAS THAT EFFECT ITS LIKE A SUPERPOWER ISTG JUST SO GREAT FOR THE PARASOCIAL MINDS

U DO DESERVE ALL OF THIS!!! but u know if u want to repay me with the drabble i won't complain 🫣 AND I ACTUALLY HOPE THAT U WILL HAVE MUCH FUN AS A 20YEAR OLD AND U SPEND IT WITH DOING STUFF THAT U LOVE!!! MUCH LOVE HIHI🩷💕 (liebestraum anon💗💘)

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 🥺🥺 awh you are such a lovely person too, this means a lot ❣❣

AYYY 03 LINE BESTIES 😌✊ (i lowkey freaked out when i found out abt doyoung but also the fact that both of us are older than him by a few months😭 also his bday is on my name day LMAO 😭😭😭 speaking of doyoung btw he be hitting different lately but u didnt hear that from me) omg you must have a lot of patience to do embroidery but thats so cool !!!! painting, baking and reading are my fav acitivities too so i guess im a grandma too😌 i am also a big plant enthusiast so that adds up too (send me a friendship bracelet pls)

THANK YOU AHAH i hope so!!! And i am glad your friend agreed to go✊✊ you have to send me all the pics (esp calums 👁) after and tell me how u liked it!!! 💓💓

THANKS FOR THE WARNING!!! IT DID NOTHING TO COMFORT ME ❤ /j yesyes i am getting deep into treasure unfortunately DHSJ i am in the hyperfixation phase rn 😔😔 JIHOON IS SO GOOD FOR THE PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP GIRLIES but he's literally perfect i- when i saw him covering ko ko bop in ygtb i lost my shit lowkey

okay i will try to write the drabble then 😌 AND THANK YOU SOSO MUCH i hope 20 is kind to me ❣ (and you too, but i'll wish you that on your bday. Altho idk how to contact u i will just post it for everyone to see ig LMAO)

[freifraufischer]

Three Can Keep a Secret if Two Are Dead

Gymnastics fandoms reaction to leaks from big named athletes is totally crazy to me.  “Who is this tweeting an announcement that, if true, is Suni's to reveal. If the tweeter knows Suni plans to announce this on Tuesday, they should keep their mouth shut.”

So there are rumors that Sunisa Lee told the Auburn team that this would be her last NCAA season.  I’d believe it just based on the fact that she herself said she wasn’t interested in finishing her degree, that she was only taking classes to maintain her eligibility and my general impression that Auburn hasn’t been a fun place for her.

But coming on the heals of people saying Gymcastic shouldn’t have followed up on gossip going around US Nationals about Gabby Douglas training again I really need have to shake my head.

Sunisa Lee (and Gabby Douglas for that matter) are public figures with agents and advisers.  If Lee did announce this to the Auburn gymnastics team that is a very sizable group of people inevitably not all of whom like her.  Her agents and her had to know that as soon as you tell a group of people that size it would get out.  

‘It was her time to announce’ is for pregnancies and illnesses.  But something like this is news.  Not only that ... but the timing itself is kind of shitty for the people who signed NLI’s last week for Auburn as those are binding contracts and a certain number of them almost certainly thought they were going to a team with the Olympic champion on it.

“If true, it’s shitty that someone is trying to spoil her announcing her comeback just because she decided to give her team the heads up first.”  This assumes that the people being told don’t have their own feelings about how this impacts them.  Some gym fans seem to buy a disturbing amount of propaganda out of NCAA gymnastics about teams being the closest group of sisters.  And people persist in this even after Sunisa Lee herself gave a small podcast interview that directly contradicted the curated narrative about her NCAA experience.

I have ... opinions about the Graba twins and few of them are good.  I’d really love to know how much Suni was part of Jeff’s recruitment for incoming 2023 and 2024 gymnasts who will never compete with Suni if this is true.  Leaving aside the clearly sketchy Midwest Gymnastics to Auburn pipeline and the entire conflict of interest there, and even this absolutely horrible piece about Midwest, there were rumors floating around last year that Jeff Graba was telling other Auburn gymnasts that they were ungrateful to him for getting Suni there.  That many of them were also unhappy with the circus around Suni.  And that’s not even touching the racial issues that have floated around Graba and the Auburn program in the past.

If Sunisa Lee told the people in that room this news this weekend some number of them were likely angry, some number of them were likely happy, and some number of them felt no obligation to Sunisa Lee in the slightest.  And her agent would have told her that.

But in general this kind of hand wringing about (basically) professional athletes who are adults is yet another manifestation of a parasocial relationship people feel towards these young women.  “She must be protected” is a great impulse when you are concerned about minor children and the policies and coaching practices of authority figures who have power over them.  “She must be protected” when it comes to a public figure setting their own narrative opens yourself up to manipulation.

[nimbosaur]

There must be fans out there that are like "wtf" to the rest of the fans' actions right? Right????

As 0 alacrity put it while we were talking, by the way, they're the one also helping me have evil little thoughts.

Here's a tl;dr of it, but a pretty good think piece is under the cut.

So, basically YES. But being just "wtf" doesn't do enough. Spamton very much has asked for help and believed in the common sense of people to help him get out of this situation, but like in any fandom, while extreme fans are not the majority, they're the ones bold enough to act upon their desires and do horrible stuff.

That includes doxing, harassing and possibly harming people who oppose them, and usually people with good sense kind of keep away from that for a good reason. So while there's critique and attempts to help, no one really has managed to do much more than just that.

Buckle up because this one's kinda long but a very interesting read.

BIG NOTE: Spamton is a fictional character, it is not to be taken literally as a "parasocial" relationship with him. It is a Commentary about how people approach RL CELEBRITIES/YOUTUBERS/CONTENT CREATORS/ ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO ARE POPULAR.

We have to put this as a note because there is a problem with media literacy and self projection of consumers while ignoring the bigger problem/commentary.

" The thing is you have to think about in every fandom, it's not like the crazy fans are the majority, but they're the ones bold enough to act upon their desires.

And the question is "As a member of a fandom, or as a member of someone who likes this media that also participates are you a passive fan or an active fan?

By passive I ask this "you watch this, you say this is wrong, this is fucked, but you don't participate but you are a witness to these events. You know it's going on you know what's appropriate and isn't, but the question is: Would you step up? would you try to save your bias? are you going to be a part of the opposing numbers that say hey enough is enough and band together to show support and free your celebrities from the cages they're placed in? Or will you watch.

Many people want to say I'll act upon it but if look around us, you'll see that there are so many passive fans. There are so many bystanders, there are so many people afraid.

You may not contribute to the extreme actions that crazy fans take but the question I have is ...are you brave enough to regulate your own fanbase? Knowing that there is potential for harm.

There is potential being hunted for speaking up, there is potential you'll be left ALONE not cause people DONT agree with you but they're just as afraid as you to get involved, and at this point that's a question of asking, can you really say you don't contribute to the problem when you let shitlords like that take over fan spaces to dictate the general image of the thing you love to destroy the things you adore, to cling to the past?

Here's a question too? How much do other people let other fans get away with things and blame the celebrity instead. People view celebrities as figure heads, Spamton probably called out for help, he believed in his fans too. He still hopes and believes that too but when you reach out and you witness passive fans turning their backs, the few who speak out being taken under waves and drowned out by the voices of the nutcases, and the worst of them all, those that instead of helping blame the celebrity, anyone would lose hope.

And most reasonable people if we're being honest, don't want to fight with crazy people. Even the most well adjusted individual knows the difference between extreme worship/martyr complex actions and understanding that " hey, these people are CRAZY ENOUGH to imprison a single whole ass man, a powerfully popular whole ass man.

....

what is someone like me going to be able to do other than countless death threats and getting doxxed?"

you ever think about that?

Side note: I know this is going to be said and I'm going to address it early. If someone says "Am I the bad one for not acting?"

You make your own decision based on that. But the point is being missed if you are asking this and not looking at the overall issue of fan culture itself and who gets to speak out for the community you're a part of. If you choose to not say a word, that's on you and that's your choice and you should own it.

Own that not saying something when watching this does have an effect. Choosing to accept that affect in silence is your prerogative. Whether it's good or bad is Up. To. You.

But know that if you don't do anything and you don't like the result that occurs due to waving off your say. It's a choice you made to leave that in their hands, you have chosen to say "My choice doesn't matter"

[namtanlovesfilm]

You know because I don't have Twitter and barely use IG, I never followed any of my favorite actors anywhere other than Tumblr. So I'd occasionally see a cute picture of them and smile. But last month, I started using IG more, followed a bunch of Thai actors and fan accounts, and I'm frankly blown away by just how freaking busy these guys are!! Like no wonder BLs have such crazy active fandoms. They're always being fed content. Every day, the artists are either doing some kind of promo for a sponsor, a fan meet, filming a new series or movie or variety show, doing a press circuit, doing photo shoots, going to weddings or birthdays, sometimes multiple events in a single day, etc. Their lives look utterly exhausting and like they're always on display! Honestly even their "play" looks like work because they're probably low-key promoting at least some of the restaurants/clubs/hotels/stores they're sharing in their IG stories. This much daily access to their lives really makes fans feel like they "know" the star, so the parasocializing in the BL fandom must be off the charts (except in places like Tumblr, cuz we're so chill). Anyhow, it makes sense that so many of their friends are fellow actors and hosts because they're all basically together all the time!

LMAO the content truly is endless, I started doing an off jumpol masterpost literal years ago at this point... and I don't think I'll ever be done with it bc I'll never possibly reunite every single interview, ad, event & ad that he has done... NOW HAVE THAT MULTIPLIED BY EVERY THAI ACTOR YOU LIKE LMAO! so yes, that's an extremely interesting point you make bc they're literally always working. like even when they're on holiday, they're busy taking pics for their ig (considering most thai actors are also influencers in their own rights) & even sometimes still doing sponsored posts. it must be extremely exhausting, and I also empathize with the gmmtv (or any other company's) staff that is there for all of it, especially considering I'm pretty sure work regulations in thailand aren't the best. but the staff don't earn millions a month & don't have recognition attached to their name, so that must be even harder. but I think the actors work really hard knowing that sadly the events & sponsored stuff won't last forever. once you get too old or your career start to decline, you lose all of that ad-based revenue as well. and spot on for parasocial relationships, we literally see them grow older day by day, it's insane!

xxx

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

In 2019 I discovered kpop and bts. I really fell in love with jikook. Realllly. I had very important entrance exam in my dream University on July 16. I had shivers all over my body the morning I woke up, I was nervous so much I felt like I could throw up. So to distract myself I checked twitter and *BAM* next second Jimin published the video with JK, them showing hearts behind the stage of Japanese concert. I thought they are my lucky charms. I don’t have many people supporting me in my life so I very naively considered jikook as my support. I was soooo happy, I was receiving my paper exam with smile on my face (maybe I looked crazy to other poor kids lol). So the exam was success and I started my 1 year... Along the journey I became...it’s really embarrassing to say..like obsessed? I think Uni caused so much stress for me plus I was far from home, like kilometers away seeing my mum once-twice a year. So nobody controlled me and I just couldn’t stop scrolling through twitter, YouTube, instagtam consuming every content bts (mostly jikook) put out daily for like endless hours. I found unhealthy escapism from it. Now I’m on 3d year with 2 failed exams because I couldn’t concentrate and just study it properly... I mean when I study I end up in top10 in my class but for the past 1,5 year I just procrastinate watching silly kpop shows. I study design in architecture it’s difficult profession and I done nothing useful. I started to get really mad at kpop industry, I think they tricked me somehow lol. I am their best victim. Tho I perfectly understand that I can’t put blame on it but...I just can’t break that parasocial relationship. Therapy/psychological help in my country basically doesn’t exist and I can’t imagine myself going to one saying ..what?..I’m kpop addict? I need someone telling me that’s not okay. But you know I was a good girl I got so confused in the past seeing trolls hate comments. now I can see why someone would became one. Like these anti nasty accounts on twitter what is happening in their heads? It must be more miserable than my situation. But I think I know what they feel ..relief? Making somebody angry as you are makes them satisfied.

I love reading you. You sound educated and sophisticated. Please just say to me “go and study, Jul” I need to find any mili piece of motivation to study and quit fucking kpop. I just found that ironic that jikook was my lucky charm in 2019 but now I feel like they down falling me.

Go and study, Jul! And jikook, hey jikook??? you need to be held accountable for this anon's situation, come on!

Sorry, they're not hearing me. I guess they're busy with other stuff.

Look, it does sound like an addiction, not gonna lie. I mean, when you end up failing your exams because of K-Pop, that is a big sign that we have a problem. I'm not saying this to judge you because I understand what obsession looks like. Back when I was 16, I discovered that I really love movies. And not just the regular stuff that you see at the mall when you go with your friends, but the deep ones, the artsy ones. So I thought, fuck school, this is what I'm going to do. I need to do my homework fast so I can focus on my own stuff which is so much better. But I also knew that I need to have some limits, you know? And k-pop addiction is even worse and it gets to you, especially when you find yourself in a situation just like yourself and I also know a thing or two about that, but we're not getting into that. Thing is, it really sucks to be away from your family and if staying up at night watching kpop on youtube to make yourself feel better, then it's understandable.

But please think of your studies as well and don't miss your chances. Jikook are still going to be here anyway. Everything stays up on the internet.

Take care of yourself!

[logicalstansadvice]

What are they even trying to achieve?

Seb has 0 history of dating fans. / I know this comes up often, the idea of fans doing things in the hope that somehow they will end up dating Seb whether it's trashing his gf or defending him. But I don't think that's what it is. I doubt many fans think that is ever going to happen no matter how much they fantasize about it. But it ruins their fantasy life when he has a gf. I know people are sick of seeing the word parasocial but I think that's what it is more than thinking they'll ever date him. With the haters, when you imagine romantic scenarios with someone, you do feel actual love for them eventually, even if it's someone you've never met. So when that stranger, that stranger you're in love with, gets a gf you feel as if you've been cheated on or left for someone else. You feel the same pain, devastation and anger you'd feel if you're RL partner was with someone else. It sounds crazy to someone who's never experienced it but the emotions are real. Or at least feel real. They do want to break Seb and Ale up, not so the fan can have him for themselves IRL but so they can return to their happy parasocial relationship. As for the 'mommies' defending him or calling out the vitriol spewed by some fans I don't think they hope they will ever date him either. Those are people who still love him, despite his mistakes or having a gf, and want to defend the person they love. I myself have pointed out people now criticizing him for things that a few years ago they loved about him and been called a mommy. I have zero hope that I will ever meet Seb much less date him.

I just wish we could all stop using the 'Seb is never going to date you' line when trying to have civil conversations with people about the things going on in this fandom.

Vamp: while I agree that some fans are acting like a "jilted ex", I must admit that both the hardcore nannies and the hardcore nonnies baffle me. Both extremes can be a little extra in their "intense" love or hate of this man.

In my world, as strangers, Seb doesn't require or warrant my unconditional love or hate.

[wellknownwolf]

I want to move into a new phase in my relationship with fandom, as I mature with new experiences. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like though. What is your take on the parasocial affection inherent in an RPF like Rhett & Link? Or even the deep attachments that can form with fictional characters? Or a desire to emulate fantasy worlds? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable with all this, it's just that it's been a long time coming, and once I got started I couldn't stop. - Natasha (5)

First, let me post the full question, since it came in 5 parts:

Hey, it's me again. Your 'mystery inquirer', as you so adorably dubbed me. You're right, I had forgotten I'd sent in that ask. Just now, I couldn't help but think about a scene from Life After, as I am wont to on a frightfully regular basis, which is what got me back here. When you said you pondered over my seemingly simple, banal question for a good while, and wrote out a beautifully thoughtful answer like you always do, it made me happy.

Your narrative voice is similar to my own, and it made my chest ache in a certain way to have gotten such a response to what felt like a random shout out into the abyss (though it obviously wasn't, I sent it directly to you, I guess it's more what it felt like taking a chance on a conversation with a random stranger online). And now I'm cringing a bit at how melodramatic all sounds. But I'm committing to it, anyway. That's the beauty of anon, eh?

Wolfie (is it presumptuous to call you that? Please do forgive me the liberty I'm taking), I must admit. I'm quite envious of this community you have with @missingparentheses, @lunar-winterlude, and other wonderful people. Since childhood, I've been head over heels in love with fandom. Not a specific fandom, I've been a traveller through dozens, but fandom in general. I've read probably thousands of fanfics, spent countless hours daydreaming about beloved characters and their stories.

To the point where, in my most recent and worst depressive episode, it may have been for the worse, if I'm honest. Escapism and yearning to the point of impairment, engendering a sense of constant bereavement. But it's taught me so much about life and its wonders, I can't write it off as just some damaging habit. It's such an integral part of who I am, a deeply curious soul (shout out to my Enneagram Type 5-ers out there!). But I don't anyone to share it with, and it can get quite lonely.

I want to move into a new phase in my relationship with fandom, as I mature with new experiences. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like though. What is your take on the parasocial affection inherent in an RPF like Rhett & Link? Or even the deep attachments that can form with fictional characters? Or a desire to emulate fantasy worlds? I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable with all this, it's just that it's been a long time coming, and once I got started I couldn't stop. - Natasha

.....................................................................

Thank you for giving me so much to respond to, Natasha.  Thank you for continuing to reach out.   I accidentally wrote something like a paper in response to your thoughtful question.  I even conducted a little research and cited a source.  ENGLISH TEACHER, ACTIVATE!

Also, for what it’s worth, I feel at times that I communicate exclusively through shouts into the abyss, so it’s a language with which I am at home.  In fact, it is this very technique, this experiment with intense vulnerability at the hands of a virtual stranger, that earned me one of my absolutely most-treasured friends: @missingparentheses.  I have poured out a great deal of my own melodrama to her, and she has received it and reciprocated it in a way that, three years later, continues to teach me how to be a better friend.  In short, I’m a firm believer in diving straight in when it comes to new friends.  Cringe not; I’m on board.

So let’s dive.

R&L is really only the second “fandom” with which I’ve been involved.  Third, if we count my preteen obsession with ‘N Sync (and considering how much wall space I dedicated to their posters and self-printed photos, we probably should).  My point is, while I don’t have much experience with the community facet of fandom, I do relate to your feeling of near-obsession.  Or clear obsession.  

I know the feeling of escapism you’re describing, and I know the yearning and melancholy that can come on our worst days, where we feel like “real life” will never measure up to the color and brilliance of the worlds we spend so much time considering. These worlds, these characters and their relationships, their challenges, victories, and defeats all seem so purposeful: they’re the plot points we use to craft the stories in our heads (regardless of whether we’re writers at all).  It can be much harder to view ourselves as protagonists worth analyzing, viewing and reviewing through new lenses, perhaps because we’re warned against navel-gazing, perhaps because our self-perception just won’t allow for it.  Maybe a little of both.

But yes!  It teaches us!  We DO learn about life, other people, love, risk, all kinds of things through what we consume in these fandoms, so I would never classify it as a “bad” thing.  We hone our imaginations and learn to pay attention to our own emotions as we recognize feelings from our favorite shows, games, books, and characters arising in ourselves.  

I used to be a little afraid of the fact that I was always telling myself stories, internally imagining myself as someone else, a player in the worlds I often loved more than my own.  I suspected that someday, somehow, I would be caught playing pretend all the time in my own little ways.  I was a bright and ambitious young woman, so why would I give so much of my mental energy to such frivolous pursuits?

In my first semester of graduate school, though, I learned from a Lit. Theory professor who intimidated the hell out of me that we all do this.  We’re all telling ourselves stories all the time, some of which are true and close to objective reality, some of which are more subjective to whatever fantastical (or fandom) material we last consumed.  I’ve whispered my own dialogue in the shower, but so have you whispered yours in your head (if not also out loud in your shower!).  And through this act, however it is performed, I have made those worlds part of my own.  So have you.  In this way, they are real, and I no longer feel fearful of being “found out.”  

When we have those moments of doubt, though, when we wonder whether we’re going too far, it probably stems, at least partially, from the “us v. them” divide between fandom and mainstream society.  We love our little worlds, but we also feel that twinge of anxiety that we might be bordering on obsession, that our guilty pleasure might be discovered and we will be socially punished for it, namely, as Joli Jensen writes in “Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization,” because “the fan is characterized as (at least potentially) an obsessed loner, suffering from a disease of isolation, or a frenzied crowd member, suffering from a disease of contagion. In either case, the fan is seen as being irrational, out of control, and prey to a number of external forces” (13). According the consistent covert (and overt, at times) messages of the mainstream, “[f]andom is conceived of as a chronic attempt to compensate for a perceived personal lack of autonomy, absence of community, incomplete identity, lack of power and lack of recognition” (Jensen 17).  Yikes.  That doesn’t feel good to admit about ourselves, does it?  

Luckily, it’s bullshit.

Treating “fans” as others (outsiders, people who can’t form relationships or find fulfillment in the “real world”) “risks denigrating them in ways that are insulting and absurd” (Jensen 25).  Those who take this stance, who see fans as victims of hysteria or desperate loners, do so in order to “develop and defend a self-serving moral landscape.  That terrain cultivates in us a dishonorable moral stance of superiority, because it makes other into examples of extrinsic forces, while implying that we [members solely of the mainstream] somehow remain pure, autonomous, ad unafflicted” (Jensen 25).  In short, that us/them thinking just makes people feel better about themselves by pointing out an easily-identifiable “other.”

 I have also grappled with the concept of parasocial affection, particularly with R&L.  I was well into writing my first Rhink fic when the thought crossed my mind, “Oh my god, what if I actually met these people someday?  How would I look them in the eye?  I’d feel like a crazy person (again)!”  From the safety of the Midwest, I laughed off the thought.  And then a year or so later, they were announcing their first tour. And I was still writing, here and there, still deep in my affection for them, sometimes wrestling with the thought that I’ve devoted so much energy to people who would never know I exist.  

It doesn’t matter that the attachment was in the most obvious, tangible ways only one-sided.  As an adult who is ever-learning how to navigate the worlds of her own creation and the ones over which she has far less control, I view my intense attachment to characters both real and fictional with deep fondness.   And while I may not receive affection or attention directly from the sources (R&L, fictional characters, sports teams, who/whatever we build fandoms around), I am still earning some very real rewards for my involvement: Because of them, I found my way to a participatory culture in which I was supported and encouraged to express my creativity.  This gave me the push and interest that I needed to hone skills that have not only made me a better writer, but also a better teacher and mentor.  With fandom comes the ability to immediately strike up a conversation over shared interests. With fandom comes a sense of belonging in what we have proven is an awfully divisive world.  

Right now, I’m consuming far less fandom-related material than I did a few years ago.  I don’t really watch GMM anymore and I’m on a break from Ear Biscuits (though I still love it), Gotham ended over a year ago and I’m not in the habit of reading fics right now, and I can’t yet play the remade Final Fantasy 7, so that’s out for me, too (though I know I will fall deep into that well once the game is in my hot little hands).  This all happened by itself.  I never consciously moved away from these sources; I just floated on to other interests and other levels of interest, knowing that if and when I wanted to dig back in, I could always come back.  

I used to feel quite sad at the thought of someday “moving on” from these intense interests.  I couldn’t fathom somehow falling out of love with those bands, actors, or video games.  But for me, the transition into wherever I am now has not been painful in the least.  I’m glad I knew the intensity that I did, and I’m happy with the distance I have now. And there’s a good chance I’ll be fanatic about something else someday.  I’m looking forward to it!

 Here are some responses that I couldn’t organically fit into my essay:

Yes, you can call me Wolfie if you’d like.  That name started with @missingparentheses (her second appearance in this answer!), and quickly became a reminder to not take myself too seriously.  

Second, I don’t think I know any other Type 5s!  I’m a type 8. 

Also, here’s my MLA formatted citation for the Jensen source:

Jensen, Joli. “Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization.”   The Adoring Audience: Fan Culture and Popular Media, Routledge, 1992, pp. 9-29.