#Paraphrased quotes

[cassafrasscr]

Taliesin on 4SD: "Orym is the only one in this group with a working moral compass."

Ashton: Never take copper. You take gold regardless, and silver if they're an asshole, but you never take copper.

Ashton: It doesn't matter if the Ruby Vanguard are making good points about the gods. They're hurting innocent people to get what they want, and that's reason enough to stop them.

Ashton: *is super apologetic and upset that they have to knock out Elder Barthie to protect him from being discovered by the Imperium*

Ashton: Remember that we're here as guests. We are going to follow the instructions of the people who have already figured out what they need.

Me: *side-eyeing Ashton real hard* Orym’s the only one with a working moral compass? Mm'kay. 🤨

[awkadoodledoo]

Zoya: Be honest with me for like one second. Are you The Gray Man?

Court: I believe that was a term coined by Interpol to have someone to blame when no one knows who did it.

Zoya: Yes or no, the only valid responses

Court: I'm just saying-

Zoya: YES OR FUCKING NO

Court: Yes...

Zoya: *internally* oh my god I stole the gray man's gun oh my god I knocked him on his ass

[cairfrey]

Me, a Brit, to my American wife (who grew up in Tennessee and Florida):

"You merely adopted the rain. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the sun until I was already a man."

[princema-k]

arent u tired of being of being nice..... dont u wanna go Apeshitt

(quote in no.3 courtesy of tearay1073's comment on this vid)

[here-comes-the-moose]

Wrecker: We should send Echo. Everyone likes Echo.

Hunter: Not everyone.

Crosshair, loading his rifle: Who doesn’t like Echo? I want names and locations.

[revvethasmythh]

Dorian saying, "We live with the fear of death every day, but you get one taste of it and you want to abandon your family and run?" was cunty as hell, actually, and i love him

[lauriemarch]

and at the end of the day, people will still hate women.

because beyonce is a terrible songwriter who has a good body and nothing more and she's really nothing compared to olivia rodrigo, that stuck-up bitch who steals other people's music, but taylor swift is an old, bitter nothing who clearly hates other girls. and sabrina carpenter deserves to die because she followed her heart, not her brain, and that's exactly why zendaya will never be good enough for tom holland. don't forget about kylie jenner, who's stealing precious timothee's innocence away and dating her is like committing arthouse cinema suicide, or how we said the same thing about miley cyrus and her disgusting profanity, think of the children, poor liam hemsworth, trapped in a marriage with such a horrible woman. lana del rey was hot until she was big and she made trailerpark sexy until her ass got a little too fat. and ariana grande, talentless homewrecker, and selena gomez, jealous and unreasonable, and hailey bieber, even more boring than the blood drying on the knives you are so quick to pull. sophie turner is a bad mom and megan thee stallion deserved whatever was coming to her.

and amidst all of this, we still don't know these women. we cannot fathom the pain of having a public divorce, one where people choose sides and hurl insults at you until the battery on their phone dies. we don't watch them chase after sweet-cheeked children in tucked-away backyards or play board games with their best friends while their chests heave in laughter. we don't know their marriages and we don't know their solitudes. we don't watch them unravel themselves, time and time again, preparing for the battle that we have made of their lives. they can never make a mistake. they can never cry. they can never be who they believe themselves to be.

and we take all of this and we go to work, we ride the bus, we go grocery shopping, we walk in dappled sunlight, and we let ourselves shrivel. i compare myself to every body i see and i comfort in the fact that i can still encircle my wrists with my fingers. food turns to dust in my mouth when i think about the fact that taylor swift thinks she's fat and people still hate sabrina carpenter for sticking by joshua bassett's side when he almost died, for God's sake, and now the people on my twitter feed are saying GUTS is the worst album they've ever heard. i liked it, the tiny voice in my head cries out. she wrote songs that made me feel noticed. they're calling the song i relate to the most a total skip.

so i close the app. i try not to think about the endless profiles screaming about how much they hate a nineteen/thirty-two/thirty-eight/twenty-three/twenty-six/forty-two year old. i try not to think about how much they would hate me, if they knew anything at all.

[demonic0angel]

Things that happened at Thanksgiving today, but I make it DPxDC

Damian: … Richard? What are you doing?

Dick: *standing on the lawn and staring into the distance* I’ve been watching Danny try and struggle to park for the past fifteen minutes.

Damian: Oh. *also stops to watch* Have you seen Danielle and Jasmine come in?

Dick: Tbh, no. I’ve been watching Danny this entire time. And oh— oh! He stopped. Ooh, he turned around. He’s leaving. Damn, he gave up entirely and decided to park on the grass. Oh, he ran over Alfred’s bushes.

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: He won’t make it past the gates without Alfred sniping him.

Dick: Damn, you’re right.

————

Damian: *after Jason did something* what do you think you’re doing, Todd?

Jason: Lol, your mom

Damian: Actually, my mom only used you for her own goals. In fact, your mom abandoned you. Twice.

Jason:

Dick: Now, Damian, that’s not—

Damian: People who have had their mothers die in front of them should not speak.

Dick:

Damian: *pointing at Tim* And you! You may have had two parents at one point, but they definitely don’t consider you as their child! That’s why you had to stay with your neighbors so long! You’re an inconvenience!

Tim:

Stephanie: Hey now—

Damian: I don’t even want to hear you. Does your mother know you go out and fight crime? Does she even care?

Stephanie:

Damian: *looking at Cass* You too, Cassandra! But mommy issues wouldn’t be the least of your problems with your daddy issues as well!

Cass:

Damian: *turning around to Danny* And I didn’t forget about you, Fenton! No wonder you fit right in, your abandonment issues, raging teenage angst, and appearance makes you just at home, doesn’t it?!

Danny:

Tim: …. What about Jazz?

Jazz: *who’s been silent the entire time*

Damian:

Jazz:

Everybody else:

Damian: No, she’s a guest here. Why would I do that?

————

Dani: Pfft— Tim, Tim, can I— *can’t breathe from laughing too hard* can I touch your hair? It just looks so soft! *still laughing*

Tim: …?

Jazz and Danny: *also laughing their guts out*

Dani: *tries to reach for Tim but she keeps laughing and can’t focus on asking him* Your hair looks so soft— keheheh! C-Can I touch it??

Dani: *eventually swipes her finger under Tim’s nose and falls off of her chair from cackling so loud*

Tim: …..

Jason: *also bursting out in laughter* YOUR FACE!! BWAHAHAHAH

*Dani then proceeded to do this four more separate times with other people*

————

Dick: You know how Harley is back together with the Joker?

Dan: Yeah?

Dick: He cheated on Harley again.

Danny: *whirling around, flabbergasted* HUH?!

————

Dick: *carrying several bottles* Alright! Time for alcohol!

Jazz: Uhhh, Dick? Damian is right there—

Dick: He’s getting drunk tonight too!!

Everyone: ????

Damian: Yes! Alcoholism! *takes a plastic cup and takes a big gulp*

Dan: *looking at the bottle* This says sparkling apple cider?

Dick: Shhhh, just watch the show.

————

*dramatic screaming from other room*

Bruce: ….? What’s that?

Dick: Is that Jason? He sounds like he’s in pain

Bruce: *standing up* is he okay? Does he need help? Should I go and help him?! What’s happening—

Tim: Jason is playing ping pong with Dan and Danny. And losing really badly while Jazz is watching.

Bruce:

Dick:

Tim:

Bruce: oh.

[underqualified-human]

Y/N: That's not a hawk, it's obviously a peregrine falcon. Facilier: How can you be so sure? Y/N: One attacked me as a small child. Facilier: Oh... that's- Y/N: It did not win.

[thenevarranaccord]

Epler: “It’s really fucked up that you have the option to kill a clan of Dalish elves in every game!”

Epler: “That’s why, in Veilguard, we’re killing DOZENS of Dalish clans no matter what you do!”

Epler: “If Zathrian’s clan, Merrill’s clan, or Clan Lavellan were alive at the end of your playthrough, don’t worry! We’ve killed them for you! 😊”

Epler: “The majority of the Dalish elves in Thedas are dead now, since they mostly lived in the south (where the Dales are).”

Epler: “The elves needed a win. 👍🏻”

[awkadoodledoo]

Suzanne: AHA HE FUCKED UP

Matt: Nope. That's a trap.

[whenthehammerissquare]

Things Papa said at the Ritual last night that made me lose it

(About Nihil) "He was a better saxophone player than a father, I can tell you that much."

"But unfortunately, nothing can ever last forever. So here is a song to say goodbye." Proceeds to play Respite (I cried)

"I've always wanted to find a place to belong, and I feel like this–here–is where I belong. You should belong here too." (I also cried)

[untherapized-eddie]

"when you say there's no platonic explanation for this i wonder about your friendships/if you have any friends"

or maybe there's a certain fandom shorthand we all use that's not meant to be taken literally and you don't need to assume things about people's personal lives based on things they're saying about ships online for fun

[noahschnappinfs]

I’d encourage everybody to not take everything at face value and see how easy things/words can get twisted online with everybody believing it without questioning.

Multiple ST updates accs are posting this quote when it’s mostly paraphrased in a way to make it seem more dramatic than it actually was.

What David actually said was this so they took actual words from the article and scrambled them a bit in a way that it changed the context of what was said.

so everybody, be careful and also start checking your sources.

[fairandfatalasfair]

“Please do not tell me that you woke up on this ship with no ability to leave or call for help, took a look at the computer system whose operations are responsible for keeping us all alive, and decided to name it after the Allied Mastercomputer.”

“Okay."

“Did you name Amy after the Allied Mastercomputer?”

“You just asked me not to tell you, so-”

---

Tal Smithson (ke/kem) from @derinthescarletpescatarian's scifi serial, Time To Orbit: Unknown

[here-comes-the-moose]

Tech: *comes home to see Crosshair and Wrecker on his couch eating snacks and watching TV*

Wrecker: Hey Tech.

Tech: Hello people who do not live here.

Crosshair: You’re the one who gave us a key.

Tech: That key was for EMERGENCIES!

Crosshair: There was an emergency.

Wrecker: We were out of Doritos!