#Paranoid here -> is actively being [CENSORED] by [CENSORED]

[phospolipid-bilayer]

I am throwing ideas at the wall and see what sticks

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey there! A bit late but i'm here for the ask game! (*´v｀*) I'd like to ask 1, 11, 23, 63, 78 and 88 but i know it's a lot so no pressure, please feel free to ignore any of them if you don't feel like answering it! 🫂💖

Hi!!! Not late, never late! I will put this under the cut because ~lenght~. These are all very good questions, thank you Lev 💙🪲

(What’s your biggest insecurity? Do you like who you are around people? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you ever get paranoid? What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends? What kinds of things confuse you?)

1 - What’s your biggest insecurity?

My body, which is such a sad answer, but it's true. I'm working on it. My voice - some people do not take me seriously because I have a "girly voice", especially when stressed, even though it's really not that high pitched. I had to force my Big Girl Sexy Deeper Voice out at my previous job just to get my points across. Again, sad.

Also my inability of expressing my feelings out loud. I write it a lot, but I can't genuinely remember the last time I said the words "I love you" with my own voice.

I know why I am the way I am, and I wish it didn't get to me, but this will be my cross to bear until the end of my days. I think I try to be as loudly affectionate as possible here, because I'm hoping it will make it easier for me irl.

11 - Do you like who you are around people?

Depends on the people, really. I like the way I am around my friends, even if there are parts of me I supress. I wish I was better around my sister - she deserves more than I am, and it frustrates me that I sometimes act like our parents towards her. It kills me inside.

I don't know how to answer in relation to my parents. On one hand, it's very relieving to be amongst people who understand certain parts of me without me having to justify or explain (something about being a 1st gen immigrant child lol). On the other, being at home puts me back to my 16yo mindset, when I was really angry and sad and struggling, and I hate it.

With strangers, it really depends. I am too anxious to notice haha. I just really like to be alone, I suppose. It's easier that way, at least.

23 - Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes! I am very much Christian, so I do believe in heaven/hell, and the concept of an afterlife.

I don't really talk about it much here, because I know there are so many of you who have been failed and mistreated in the name of religion (which was not how any of this was supposed to happen, and it really breaks my heart) and prefer to steer away, which I 100% understand. Also, some people get extremely weird around Christians, and assume a number of things without even talking to them, so I spare myself the unpleasantness. I hope this makes some sense!

63 - Do you ever get paranoid?

Baby, anxiety is my middle name. I get paranoid about things you could never imagine. 😎 But yeah.

Every time I hear my door bell ringing, or knocking, I always think it's the police coming to get me, even thought the most illegal thing I've done is download music?? And my family is... normal. No suspicious activity or anything, so I really don't understand why. Make it make sense.

78 - What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

There isn't much I'm not comfortable with tbh. My friends have seen me at my worse, and we know almost everything about each other. We've been friends for a very long time.

Maybe just being affectionate? I have a really hard time with that, but it gets easier around them. And they know how unhinged I am about my blorbos, so I don't really need to censor myself haha. I do a little code-switching. I speak a bit differently around my family, and with them I tend to use a more generalised/commonly accepted language, rather then my parent's countries expressions.

88 - What kinds of things confuse you?

LIFE IN GENERAL. How do you make decisons? How do you know you're in the right path?

Math. Cars. Sports. It's all Simlish to me lmao.

[vierandancer]

The environment in which one grows up shapes you in more ways than you realize, and sticks with you long after you've left home in ways that you cannot possibly comprehend. Meiko was happy in Wadewick enough to originally never want to leave prior to ARR and genuinely loved by her family who raised her, but below lists the circumstances in which she as a child was failed.

Content is under a read more BECAUSE IT SERIOUSLY GOT SO LONG OOPS.

Outside of anyone's control, Meiko was barely two summers when her birth mother Vesa attempted to find the Woodwarder she mated with. She left the safety of her village to do so and was stumbled upon by slavers. Although too young to really understand what was happening, the toddler witnessed Vesa's abuse and subsequent murder.

Meiko is kindly taken in by Mokoko Mochikoko, but the well-meaning buccaneer did not consult his wife Kokopi before bringing her home. She bonds with him enough to feel safe with him, only to be left behind with a woman who is a stranger after a few weeks as he returns to the sea. And Kokopi -- Kokopi has her own issues.

As explained here, Kokopi was originally an information-gatherer for Lolorito who fell in love with the sea and faked her death to get out of working for him. Kokopi isn't even her real name! Everything was fine until one day there was an accident that left her dependent on a cane and covered in burns, and to this day she rarely leaves Wadewick as she felt Lolorito was behind it all. Kokopi is very emotionally reserved and low-key paranoid as a result -- and her husband came back from a voyage to just drop a child in her lap. A child that was nearly her size at two summers!

As a result of the above, Kokopi did the best she could raising a child she wasn't prepared for primarily on her own. And since Meiko was easily twice her size in her youth, Kokopi did not risk the Viera throwing a tantrum and hurting her or herself. So right out of the gate, she was stern when it came to disciplining Meiko for even the tiniest bit of bad behavior. As a result, the child strove to be an obedient daughter and jumped at every opportunity to help her mother for any sense of validation or reward.

Mokoko returned from his voyages every couple of months and would, essentially, love bomb his child and be the 'fun' parent. He never actively underminded Kokopi, but he definitely convinced Meiko to try fun things -- like her first sip of alcohol when she was six. He also never bothered with censoring anything for her, or asking others to be mindful of her age as 'she would learn about it anyway'. She'd go with him to the pub and hear all sorts of things not meant for youthful ears, from the violent to the sexual.

Mokoko also went on and on about how good Meiko was for helping out at home, how proud he was of having such a responsible daughter! This pattern would continue especially so after A'kihiko came into the picture. Then when Mokoko and his crew finally retired from being pirates, he'd oft spend most of his day in the bar -- and Meiko, starting at eight summers, would be expected to carry her drunk father home on piggyback.

While none of the above is particularly abusive or neglectful, Meiko's parents' actions strongly reinforced the idea that her value and worth was based in how she could serve others -- not herself. Meiko barely had any acknowledgment of who she was as a person before A'kihiko was adopted, and then (out of love for him, and likely a connection to him being the other half of her shard of Azem) almost solely devoted herself to his well-being. If Meiko was not caring for her parents or looking after A'kihiko... what was left of her? No one. Nothing. Any personal desires or motivations were ignored in favor of how she could serve others. All of the above strongly contributed to her anxiety and minimal self-esteem.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT WADEWICK.

Wadewick is a fishing town full of people with shady morals. Ex-pirates, criminals hiding out from the law, smugglers, drunks, and more. It's like a weenie version of Tortuga, really. No one in this town would be higher than level 15 if we had to put a 'power level' on them. They're not all evil, per se, but they're not law-abiding citizens and generally tend to be more selfish than selfless. Wadewick isn't on official maps because it's not a place merchants or common adventurers should want to visit.

So these neighbors, albeit not particularly nasty to Meiko and her family, didn't really give a shit about preserving the innocence of the handful of kids in the town. Maybe if it was their own child they'd make a better effort, but someone else's? No. Who cares?

They swore, they fought, they drank in excess and spoke of sexual endeavors without filter. Meiko's next door neighbors were a pair of prostitutes who ran their business in their homes, and only remembered to pull their shutters shut about half the time. Most people had the same mindset that Mokoko had -- kids are gonna seat it all eventually, so why not now? Except that none of them decided to talk about what the children of Wadewick may have witnessed to help them process it. It was just Exposure Therapy Unreal up in Wadewick.

There were even a few murders, and even a body or two found floating down by the docks where Meiko and other children would swim. Was it all horrifying? Yes! But if the adults around you don't model that horrified reaction, if they just brush it off, so do the impressionable minds around it, too.

Meiko knew it was something bad, so she did what she could to distract A'kihiko from such things when they were kids. Later in her early teen years, her friend Grymwaen ( @illwinded ) would assist in this sheltering as best they could. But Meiko herself was already far too desensitized to be properly affected.

And then, inevitably, there is the issue of Meiko being a Viera. An exotic young girl who already acted far too mature for her youthful age, and later began a very generous bout of puberty in her early teens. By this time, Mokoko was retired and often spent his leisure time challenging anyone who'd dare to arm wrestling in the pub. It was due to respect for (and sometimes fear of) him that men did not make a pass at his daughter. Those who were too stupid to be diverted by that were fortunately too intimidated by Grymwaen to do more than disrespectfully look at the girl.

Of course, even if nobody dared to open harass Meiko, it was still pretty obvious when people around her were thinking about stuff. Again, though, Meiko spent a lot of her time in the local pub where sailors would gab on and on about their conquests (often exaggerated). So although she didn't really ENJOY being ogled, she didn't bother telling people off about it as 'it wouldn't stop them anyway' and that this sort of stuff was 'normal' behavior. It didn't really help that Kokopi would agree with 'putting up with shite' was just part of life as a woman, too.

This also plays into her attitude towards working with Troupe Falsiam.

Unfortunately, Meiko wouldn't always be safe. When she was eleven summers, a drunk man latched onto her and wouldn't let go, possibly mistaking her for older than she was due to her height. Possibly. He dragged her into an alley. She managed to grab a broken bottle and, in a frenzy, stabbed him with it wherever she could reach until he did let go. She didn't even see who it was. She fled and never looked back to see if he had bled out or not. But she learned her lesson to be more aware from that point on. She never really talked to anyone about it, either -- although she will if asked.

Despite her height and rough-and-tumble personality, Meiko has always been conditioned to not take up too much space. To be as helpful as possible, to take care of others, and never be an inconvenience -- because she was an inconvenience. Kokopi and Mokoko love their children, but Kokopi's reluctance to be a mother and Mokoko's absence impressed something on Meiko's psyche. It's why she is so quick to show love to children and take care of them -- A'kihiko, Rielle, the twins, Ryne, Meteion -- because she knows what it feels like to be without love as a child, and is triggered by what she may perceive as a child in a similar situation. And yes, of course, she genuinely cares, too. But there is a definite trigger in identifying with those she can see herself in.

And then there is the shame. The shame that she is inconvenient, that she doesn't come from money or that she isn't as educated. Shame for being who she is, shame for who is she not (A'kihiko). Shame in knowing that her perceived purpose isn't based in her own accomplishments, but in being a stepping stone for others. In being ogled as a woman and as a dancer and as a Viera, for being the Warrior of Light's ill-mannered sister, but not being seen or heard.

And in assuming that everyone in the world looks at her this way, she bars the way for others who would see and hear her in the process. Inevitably, no one will care when she's no longer useful. Inevitably, no one will remember her lined up among others. Inevitably, she does not matter, and her entire life will be a struggle to be relevant and remembered. And when Meiko assists in dangerous missions and accomplishes great feats alongside the Scions, she cannot dare hold onto that achievement or pride because how dare she? She isn't special. She is an impostor. A liar. She is only a Scion for selfish reasons (looking after her brother, not protecting the realm). She isn't good enough for Hydaelyn's Blessing to be bestowed upon her at birth, she is merely a convenient backup. She is only ever good enough to be a supporting character in the grand scheme of things. She isn't smart enough, she isn't strong enough, she isn't special!

In following the Dark Knight storyline, Meiko is able to accept that all of the above is unfair and that it makes her angry. That she wants a fate other than this. But her love for her brother and the Scions, as well as her sense of responsibility for what is happening in Eorzea, is what holds her back from embracing what her Esteem desires. It isn't a satisfying solution, but at least she took that step in recognizing who Meiko was apart from someone who just supports others.

It is only when Meiko has no choice but to be the protagonist in Shadowbringers that she finally begins to sort herself out. It takes having everything else stripped away from her by force to get her embrace being the main character in her own story. It takes every Scion being put in what is essentially a death-like state for her to find her voice long enough to communicate how she feels about them. It takes being ready to sacrifice her life for the First for her to truly feel significant as a person, all on her own.

And fortunately, she is a better and changed person moving forward from that. All of her misgivings and doubts are not immediately solved, and there will be times when she has lapses in confidence and bad habits. But she has come a long way, and will continue to grow with whatever the world decides to throw at her.

[havocwrought]

Rules & Bio

Hello! This is my rp sideblog to @ask-wretched​! Please read the info beneath the cut before interacting with this blog to avoid any confusion!

No minors. I will block you if you’re underage.

Extremely dark content will be present here. Triggers that could show up include but are not limited to: gore/violence, mentions of abuse, sexism, homophobia, etc. If any of these are triggers of yours please don’t interact with this character- he’s awful.

I will not censor this character like I do on my askblog. I will be keeping him true to his horrible self, so the chances of him turning nasty are extremely high. 

suggestive themes may pop up, but I won’t be writing smut here. That can be done in private if our characters somehow develop that far along in their dynamic, but it’s extremely unlikely. Romantic ships are unlikely as well.

Like I mention on my askblog: I do not condone or support the actions of this stupid cube man. I wholly believe he deserves to be knocked upside the skull with a cast iron skillet.

Threads that take place here will not be part of (my) canon unless discussed beforehand. I enjoy the freedom of having a lot of different interactions set in their own verses as it leaves room for more potential. 

I’m down for interacting with people outside of the minecraft universe! Wretched can fit into other universes rather well since he’s just a weird cave monster, but I will be a bit more selective with these interactions.

I get very verbose with my replies. By no means do you have to match length with me, however if you don’t give me anything to work with I will not be able to respond. Take all the time you need to reply to our threads! I highly prefer a quality response that’s taken a year over quick responses that don’t have much meat to them. 

Finally: no godmodding. This is when you try to control the actions of my character in a thread- don’t do it. If you’re confused about what could be considered godmodding feel free to ask me and I’ll clarify! 

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading this far! Wretched’s bio can be found below.

Name: ???

Alias: Wretched, Terror, etc.

Age: Anywhere between 30-45. He doesn’t even know.

Species: Warden

Height: 5.5 meters/ 18ft.

Sexuality: “None’a your business.”

Personality

     Awful. Aside from being straight up just a dick, Wretched is also extremely paranoid and acts violently because of it. He doesn’t enjoy the company of others and lives as a recluse in his many stolen territories. Staying in one place for more than a year is rare, as he tends to move around quite often. Activity slows a little during the winter months since he doesn’t enjoy freezing temperatures.

     Wretched is very traditional in his beliefs, so a lot of his commentary on certain subject matter will be… Outdated. Quite the hardheaded one as well.

[reasonreblogs]

I think it’s also a hold over from the days when having gay ships and shit was like… ACTUALLY controversial and got people death threats and stuff? Or in the US when being gay was actually still illegal and there was assumptions made by association and shit. Also during a time when there was the gay = pedo assumption mainstream. Openly having gay ships like… would have implications or something about the person shipping. I been on/off active in fandom since the early 2000s (lurking full time) and remembered censoring a pic of 2 guys kissing with a warning thumbnail not to look if someone was against that shit. It was overly paranoid on my part admittedly but it was also because I’d see such disclaimers on stuff like that.

Like that was common back then and I think people these days want to feel like they’re “doing something” and “speaking out” just based on shit they’re already doing rather than going out of their way and putting something on the line for what they “believe in.” Hence the insistence that the things they do for fun is inherently political and everyone partaking should be viewed through that reductive lens.

Even back in those days, people did that shit for fun because they DIDNT CARE they were being judged for it. Activism was for outside this little place they build for themselves, outside the real world, outside of their real life identities. These were communities you had to seek out if you were interested instead of being shoved into the face for those not interested.

And that’s kind of one of the downsides of “you have to look for it” communities where one of the understood social rules is that it’s a place people *have to look for*. It’s not the members who actually respect the community and why it has to be sought out that the mainstream and “normies” get to know. It’s the members that don’t respect boundaries of the people not in it and shove it in faces that the whole gets painted as. No one bothers to seek out the community to see if that’s the accepted behavior of the community that largely wants to be left alone. They don’t see if the people doing that are actively being called out or anything.

We get judged by the pushiest and the worst so when people do seek out these communities, it’s from a view of it needing to be “fixed” and “made accessible” to the people not within it.

That’s how we got here.

Fandom Problem #4581:

I hate the idea all art is inherently political. I think the reason why fandom has become more toxic is because of this notion. Like the moment people were told that they’re not activist through gay ships in 2010s. I think this message never was internalized into all fandom activity.

Representation is cool but you know what would be cooler, not having people assuming funky ships and medias political propaganda. Like thats why any form representation became hot topics. Its also why i hate the whole well we need to have better rep??? Like bro fandoms for fun first??? Not for teaching us to be better??

Like being “progressive” doesn’t come from fictional media, fandom and fan media. it comes from engaging with real life communities. Aka touching grass.

[rejectclone]

New OC idea: another failed clone that’s Tomalgam in essence but separate from [R]. He could be called [C] for Censored because they couldn’t refer to both of them as “Redacted” without it getting confusing. Nice chance to explore how different personalities might react to extremely similar traumas, and to use the pieces of Tomalgam’s design that *didn’t* carry over to [R], or just give [R] someone to eventually relate to so you don’t have a “Ive been here this whole time” situation.

Fun Fact: I was considering to make a counter character to [R], but I scrapped the idea since I don’t want another counter character pair as I already have John and Mark as doppelgängers!

The original idea was that since when M[R] gets revealed to the public and it leads to the Evil Pharmaceutical Company being exposed for all of their illegal cloning crimes, M[R] finds out that not all of his ‘siblings’ from the same batch were killed after his accidental release (as a way for the company to hide it’s actions). He’s then brought in to basically comfort the surviving ones, but is dismayed to see almost all of them are essentially bedridden or literally brain-dead, and about less than 10 clones were as healthy and active as he is. One of them of course being what would’ve been his counterpart, [EXPUNGED]. As for his appearance I never really came up with something, but personality wise he’s akin to [R], but is MUCH more paranoid of others and seems to have a lot of deep seeded rage towards the scientists. Considering he was at the lab during the years [R] was outside, [E] remembers what ‘changed’ after that event and how the newer scientists that replaced Lawrence’s team were MUCH more colder and crueler to them, and that [E] is much more emotionally traumatized and spiteful towards others, as he assumes EVERYONE that’s naturally human will want to harm him in some sort of way. The dynamic between the two would eventually be M[R] trying to coax his ‘brother’ into being more willing to interact with ‘normal people’ and to show that the world isn’t that soulless, and [R] accidentally becoming a bit TOO overbearing in wanting [E] to be safe and happy, thus leading to a larger rift between the two.

[subtext-bycalvinklein]

[you have probably already seen the first half of this because I am dumb and I posted it without making sure it was saved in full. I apparently am REALLY bad at making Tumblr work. Not that I am surprised by that, but still.]

Hi, I know, long time no see, I’m still a tinhat-wearing garbage-can who has no idea how to properly use Tumblr and English still isn’t my first language so kindly forgive any mistakes, but I’ve been on a good omens lockdown for the past two months and unfortunately I have Big Thinky Thoughts

The point is- book!Aziraphale&Crowley are very different from TV!Aziraphale and Crowley. But not in the sense that they’re different characters: they are the very same characters you see in the book, it’s just… They act differently. I’ve spent the last fortnight turning in bed, asking myself WHAT made them feel so different from the book and WHY it was. And then it hit me: the TV show characters operate under a system of beliefs that the book characters have already overcome. This makes sense, because while the book characters to me feel more settled and “static”, in the same way two old dudes who are just waiting for retirement have already grown into their skin and mostly know who they are, TV!A&C feel a lot younger to me, and we have the pleasure of watching their character as they develop, as they become more and more aware of who they are and what they want. Because THAT ultimately is the point: neither of them is really, completely AWARE of the point they’ve “gone native” up until the last episode.

I think it’s way easier to see in Aziraphale: in the book, he doesn’t shy away from bad deeds, he seems to acknowledge his “”“moral greyness”“” and the fact that his loyalty to Crowley overrides his loyalty to heaven -and that this isn’t something he is supposed to do, but his loyalty to the Arrangement is way more profound than his acquiescence towards heaven. His identity is not just formed around the fact that he is an angel: that’s just part of it, and that’s what makes it easier for him to be aware of his “bit of a bastard”. It doesn’t come as a surprise, for him, just as the spark of goodness isn’t surprising for Crowley. It’s just something they avoided talking about because, well, if anyone else had heard them, it wouldn’t have ended well. (But we’ll come back to this later on.) TV!Aziraphale, instead, seems to base almost all of his identity (what he consciously decides it’s his identity) solely on the fact that he is an angel: he HAS to be good, he HAS to do what is right. All those things he does that he knows are frowned upon in Heaven are quickly discarded, considered outliers, because they cause such great cognitive dissonance he cannot bear it. At first, he seems to be starting to question the Great Plan, but around the time Crowley comes asking for the holy water¹, he seems to realise fully how dangerous everything they’re doing is, and sweeps all of his doubts under a big, heavy rug of denial. Because it’s either that, or being wiped off the face of the Earth (and the whole creation) or completely losing his identity by Falling (because he wouldn’t be an angel anymore, and he’s based on this facet of himself like 99% of his identity), which is A Huge Effing Deal, especially since it’s the narrative of himself he’s been building for almost six millennia. So, Aziraphale has put in place a system of beliefs which says: God created Angels. God is perfect, and since The Almighty created Angels to be good, they are good. Therefore, I am Good, and I cannot be anything else. Does this take into account that “Good” is a broad definition that changes with the point of view? Nope. It doesn’t take into account, either, the fact that Heaven and Hell are, in truth, just names for sides, and not that different at all. Another mistake Aziraphale does it’s an attributional error: he thinks that everything good he does it’s because he’s an angel, and therefore supposed to be good, and expects other angels to be like him, when often it’s really Aziraphale *as an individual* who does Good Deeds.

Belief systems aren’t inherently Bad: they give us fixed points² in the sea of change, and it’s vital for us to have them. Belief systems become Bad the moment they don't serve their purpose anymore: that is, when instead of being helpful, they hold you back from understanding, from exploring possibilities. And that's what happens to Aziraphale and, to some extent, Crowley: they both cling to their beliefs even tho they're shown time and time again that what they think it's wrong, and they choose to cling to them because the alternative is to float in the sea of the unknown.

It is only once Aziraphale confronts the falseness of his beliefs (the moment he faces the Angels and they tell him they won't prevent the Apocalypse) that he is able, once and for all, to eradicate his belief system and integrate in a new sense of Self all of those traits he usually denied about himself.

What about Crowley, then? His belief system looks a liiittle bit more grounded in reality... Except not really. While, yes, he seems less bound to Hell, and justly distrustful, he doesn't fare all that better. It's just more tricky to recognise, because it's more about Crowley himself than it is about heaven or hell.

Book!Crowley, since the beginning, is literally a very tired, very old, very uncool entity who is just waiting to retire from a job he hates to spend his time tending to his plants and doting on his adversary-slash-bestfriend-slash-husband. He is pretty much aware of the fact that, while he loves mischief, he doesn't like actively harming anyone, is really repulsed by the idea of hurting deeply someone. He knows this, and knows Aziraphale knows this. He just doesn't like stating it out in the open because he is a paranoid bastard afraid anyone will overhear them -and rightly so, I might add, because, as stated beforehand, there will be Consequences. When Aziraphale tells him he is, after all, nice, he's resigned, because being nice doesn't make being a demon very easy. But that trait is already stark clear in his Self-image, and he acts accordingly.

TV!Crowley, tho? The moment he is dubbed "nice" literally explodes in anger.

This is not about "telling the whole blessed world", this is about Crowley not having the faintest idea he has the spark of goodness inside himself. He has convinced himself that since he Fell, since he is a demon, he must be Bad. And this, imho, is reflected in the way he takes credit for the Really Bad Stuff humans have done, as well: he is trying so bad to uphold the image of a Big Bad Demon, he tries to rejoice when people do bad stuff, even though it's clear he doesn't like it one bit.

And that's because if his and Aziraphale's belief system have one thing in common, is their trust in God: if the Almighty cast him out of heaven, there must have been a reason, and that reason is that, deep down, he isn't good. Crowley's self image is built all around that, as much as his acts of kindness probably end up mislabeled as selfishness³. And that is because he cannot accept that his Fall, something that still plagues him after six millennia, that has left him with such a scar that his plants take the brunt of it, was just over "asking questions". The punishment doesn't fit the "crime", and it's difficult, if not impossible, for the human, or occult, or ethereal mind to accept that sometimes events so painful happen for no reason.

It's imperative, then, for the dismantling of his disfunctional belief system, that he confronts the truth: there is very little inherently Evil within himself. And that moment occurs when a desperate Crowley talks to God Herself (Themselves? I'm not sure if the Almighty uses they/them or she/her, sorry) and admits that the only wrong thing he did was asking questions. From then on, he slowly becomes able to face his own spark of goodness, to admit it in his own Self-image.

In conclusion: while it makes sense that the book characters had their moment of acknowledgement in the middle of the action, as it's a truth they already knew from the beginning and, since they were about to face Consequences anyway, they might as well voice it aloud, it is just as apt for the TV characters to say it at the very end of the story, because for them it's a starting point to the rest of their existences: they finally fully know who they are and what they want, and they will start the rest of the journey with that knowledge.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, some of the swearing is censored not because I disapprove of it but because I don't want Tumblr to decide it shouldn't be posted in the tag and, as we've previously established, I'm really bad at this.

Footnotes and be thankful this is just the work of an evening of procrastination because I'm known for "making metas that require a bibliography" but I didn't have the time to check my social psy books

1: I might expand on this someday, but I actually have Thoughts on the whole "Aziraphale Being An Heaven-Abiding Angel" thing, and how it heavily relates to Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic; the holy water break-up in the 19th century seemed a good milestone for the moment

2. Yes, I was thinking of the whole "fixed point in a changing age" thing from His last bow, and yes, my eyes got misty while writing it and I don't have any allergies to blame it onto. My brain is an attic and it's full of ACD Canon quotes and by this point I couldn't get rid of them if I wanted to.

3. This is heavy tinhatting but I honestly feel like he often tries to pass off his kindness as "I like this and I want this so I have to do something". The clearest example is: he feels that the whole world shouldn't be destroyed because it's unfair? Surely it's just because he likes living here, not because he cares, pfffftttttt

*saunters vaguely back to studying*

[calleo-bricriu]

Quid Pro Quo

(( Look at me, cleaning things up into a single post in a timely manner! This was a private thread between myself and @ministerfudge .

As usual, edits made for clarity, grammar, and weird tense shifts because I’m amazing at shifting tense about 3 times in the same phrase. :)

 Continuation of this ask. ))

(This one has been strangely charmed with several layers of interlocking, stubborn, difficult to remove warding. The Minister, of course, will be able to read and reply. To anyone else, it will simply look like scratch paper.)   Since the director decided to do a bit of gossip as though I either can’t see it or won’t be made aware of it, are you one of those sorts who’s open to a quid pro quo arrangement? Nothing, as Director Yandle stated, illegal, of course.

Cornelius wasn’t sure what Calleo meant at first. What sort of services were they to exchange? There’s nothing he can think of that he needed from the other wizard, apart from maybe…

“In exchange for you no longer telling me how to do my job, what are you looking for? “

The Minister chose to deliver the note in person to save the slow passing and forwards backward of memos.

Calleo, instead of an answer, blinked owlishly a few times. He’d expected another memo in return because that’s how memos work; having the response that was written by the person in the room who had also essentially read the contents of the memo aloud managed to briefly stun him.

The Minister.

Of course.

These sorts of talks always ran long; Calleo removed his glasses and let them drop. Hanging from the ends of a string of differently sized, multi-shades-of-blue, they almost had the appearance of being a statement piece, which was really only a nicer way of saying tacky.

“Tempting, but that isn’t what I want.” Calleo grinned and folded his arms on the desk, leaning forward to rest his chin on them. “There’s an Auror that’s been in Magical Law Enforcement for several decades.”

“We had an–” he paused to consider how to word it, “–altercation during the First War; it’s in my records and it was ruled self defence.”

“The problem is that she still maintains, to a paranoid level, that I’m somehow dangerous or a ‘Death Eater in disguise’, which I’m not, just so we’re clear–like my left forearm is.”

“And do you have a guess as to what that makes her do?” Calleo had now sunk his face down a bit, leaving his voice slightly muffled by the rainbow coloured, thick (and obviously Muggle made), wool sweater’s sleeves.

“Rhetorical. She’ll use her position to assign a Hit Wizard to trail me for anything from a day or two to sometimes months at a time. She never gets her evidence because it’s never existed; I don’t so much mind the Hit Wizard ( @legilimens-corvus-frugilegus ) that always volunteers for what amounts to a paid holiday. He’s great, we hit some of the lesser known hole-in-the-wall places in Knockturn and set up people who have active warrants.”

“Anyway,” the word stretched out along with Calleo’s arms before he briefly appeared to be moving to sit like a normal adult. Instead, he kicked his feet, bumblebee slippers an all, up onto the desk and tilted his chair back. “That’s a complete waste of Ministry resources. It may not be much in monetary cost, but it takes one Auror’s focus off of her job and one Hit Wizard off the list of people being available to do anything else but babysit me.”

“Oh!” He snapped his fingers, “And I nearly forgot! The Werewolf Registry somehow managed to get an order that barred me from publishing tested theory to fact on how magical warding reads them as humans and not beasts or animals. Didn’t stop me from having it published outside of the UK but if you could make that nasty little bit of censorship disappear, it would be appreciated.”

“What do you want to make that happen and remain permanent as long as you manage to hold onto the position of Minister?” Calleo’s smile wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, but it wasn’t exactly friendly either. It only looked friendly if it managed to distract enough from the shrewd, carefully observant expression in his eyes.

“To give you a place to start, I’m not about to stop wearing the cardigans and bee slippers. It’s cold down here and I’m not about to start any kind of fire with so much paper in the room, and I’ll keep the majority of my criticisms to Magical Law Enforcement, but I won’t be silent.”

Calleo stretched again, this time grabbing the back of the chair, “Never mind what I’m doing, I sit in the worst possible positions most of the day. Now, where was I?”

“Oh, right! I’m also not willing to pretend that there isn’t solid, validated, and vetted evidence that Voldemort is not actually dead, that werewolves aren’t human, and that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement doesn’t need to do some purging in its ranks.”

There were many times during Calleo’s speech that Fudge opened his mouth to talk and then promptly closed it again. If there was ever a competition for who could speak for the longest amount of time, he knew that the other wizard would surely win. The Minister stood, patiently as he could manage, as the other talked, fidgeting and trying not to visibly flinch at the mention of werewolves - because they’re scary even when it’s not the full moon. Fudge tried to not let his irrational fear get in the way of his policies but sometimes it proved difficult.

In a way, he also wished that this Hit Wizard actually did their job and silenced Calleo. But then who would bug him? It was like a love/hate thing. Fudge would miss the attention no matter how much he pretended to hate it.

“I’d have to read this theory first, before I lift anything.” Cornelius started, “But I’d be willing to speak to the Auror.” Wow, how easy was it to bargain with him? Had he always been like this? “If you tell me her name, of course.”

“But I’m not sure what else you can think I want other than what I’ve asked for — you to not tell me how to do my job — so I think we’re at a crossroads here.”

There was something, of course, that Cornelius could think of but he wouldn’t dare say it out loud. It’s been a long time since he’d been intimate with anybody; Merlin, it had been a long time since somebody had done anything but shake his hand. Yes, he was lonelier than he ever cared to admit out loud and he always blamed it on his job.

The truth was, the only reason why Cornelius worked so much was because he had no one to go home to.

Fudge crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t need to talk about whether or not you think You-Know-Who is back because he died. It’s impossible for him to come back. So let’s not discuss that.” Before he started to worry about the idea because what if he is back? How would Fudge deal with such an ordeal?

“Unless you can think of something that would be of value to me personally, I don’t think I can make a deal with you.”

“Auror Pavidus.” Any drier and his voice might have caused the entire room to feel it. “Older Witch, completely messed up one side of her face with a blasting curse. She started it anyway and–” Calleo shrugged and finally let go of the back of the chair when the Minister gave the very, very strong and almost blatant statement that he’d blindly signed something like that.

“I knew it! I knew the lot of you didn’t read it, saw the word ‘Werewolves’ and immediately tried to censor the findings that prove an entire department incorrect and the treatment of those people as nothing more than violent beasts is abhorrent and cruel,” as that little rant went on, Calleo sat up to rummage through one of his desk drawers. “It isn’t even difficult to contain them to a small space like, say, a room at St. Mungo’s for the night, because any security warding that will stop a human will stop someone infected with lyconthropy due to the fact that they’re still human. Anywhere the security ward combination in that paper is applied it’ll keep a transformed werewolf contained as though they were fenced in.”

“They’re humans with a manageable but chronic illness and deserve to be treated as such, whether you like that fact or not is irrelevant. Reality doesn’t give a damn if you decide you want to disagree with it.”  The short stack of papers–not stack, that word was far too strong for three pages–he had taken from the desk drawer ended up being set down hard enough to cause a loud, short cracking sound on the desk’s surface before he shoved the papers over to the Minister. If his hand hadn’t been firmly and flat on the top of the three pages, they might have been actually thrown across the desk.

“It’s a massive three pages, as you can plainly see. I trust that’s not too long for you to read thoroughly.”

His response to the Voldemort situation got a laugh that Calleo couldn’t manage to stop in time and the–it wasn’t even anger, more exasperation mixed with irritation–mood an tone from seconds before evaporated with the laugh and settled back into a perfectly friendly smile, “And I’ve got four old texts that say it’s very possible to come back, provided you sliced your soul to ribbons and bound it to an object. Nasty stuff, awful ritual, lots of murder, blood, and, frankly, unmentionable acts involved–it’s mainly meant for horrid people who are terrified of death and being forgotten. I can get the most commonly used book with the original ritual up in about five minutes; the others have modified versions and are a bit bad tempered, so they take about forty-five minutes to an hour to fetch.”

“How about I won’t tell you how to do your job publicly as a compromise?” Any sign of irritation that had been present hardly minutes prior now was long gone and the cheerful grin replaced it with a well practised shift.

“You can’t think of anything that would be of value to you?”

Calleo paused for a moment, “Don’t think that I don’t know how this sort of thing usually works, Minister. It’s not even close to the first time I’ve done this dance. Inside politics often functions the same as most parts of the Unseen Market but I doubt I have anything in my collection you’d want; don’t seem the type to collect that sort of thing and I’m not certain you’re exempt from raids if you haven’t got the correct explicit permits.”

“Although,” Calleo’s frequently present grin took on a sharp edge, “if you are, and you just keep it well hidden because rumours of you being one of us unstable, social pariah addicts could ruin the career of someone not in the Department of Mysteries, you’re more than welcome to look through it.”

“At any rate, as long as it doesn’t kill me or leave me permanently disfigured, damaged, or sticky, temporarily or somehow permanently–I hate sticky things, awful sensation–and doesn’t interfere with any of my existing relationships, which,” somehow Calleo managed to interrupt himself there, “it won’t. They’re all well aware of what I get up to and are completely fine with it–I’m good for whatever it is you want to get that idiot of an Auror off my neck. She makes an already complicated and stressful job unnecessarily difficult; it’s been like that since 1983.”

“Name it, and we’ll go from there, because you’re clearly not after Galleons, you wouldn’t be willing to focus on a single Auror’s behaviour just to make me stop being the verbal equivalent to an opinion editorial in the Prophet; I can hardly negotiate anything if I don’t know what you want out of it and you know exactly what I want out of it.”

“I’ll go ahead and guess right now that if her being short-leashed, muzzled, and kept out of my yard on a permanent basis is going to require what I suspect you’re after on a permanent basis as well–well, until she dies or retires or you’re shoehorned out of your position as Minister, at any rate.”

Fudge didn’t get how some people were completely fine around Werewolves, full moon or not, but apparently, part of this wager was for him to read whatever Calleo had written and he had to try and put his own ignorance aside for the matter. If he were to get what he wanted, he’d have to stop the block on it. It could potentially be worth it… it’d been so long since Cornelius had had anything he’d almost forgotten what it was like. 

“Publicly. In front of anybody. If you’d like to tell me yourself, you can write it on one of those little notes.” He nodded towards the memo that Calleo had sent him and then let his eyes travel to the other wizard’s face again. 

“I don’t want anything from your collection.” Fudge shook his head. If he wanted something, he tended to get it; it was a perk of being Minister. Not many people questioned what you were looking for. 

It was the mention of Calleo’s current relationships that made Cornelius go red. And then the mention of him suspecting something that made the heat continue to rise to his ears and his defensive stance falter a little. Was it that obvious, or was Calleo using legilimency on him right now?

“What is it you think I want?” Fudge doesn’t want to be the one to mention it, but he could hardly ignore the longing feeling in his stomach, the way his mouth was a little drier or how hard his heart was thudding in his chest. It wasn’t like he’d never thought about what it would be like to be like that with Calleo and not just because it came to him as an idea to shut him up one time. 

Maybe that’s what happens when you’re so touch-starved you become almost desperate for anything. He didn’t know.

“Mm. Probably easier to take swings at the Department that’s supposed to be the Department taking care of that kind of nonsense, which would be Magical Law Enforcement, specifically the Auror Office.” He leaned back is his chair again, “They certainly can bark at me all they like, but they haven’t got any teeth, and the ones the litany of complaints don’t target don’t mind.”

“Mind you, they don’t do anything about the inept ones, the ones with inappropriately extreme reactionary views, or those who believe addicts should be jailed in a place that’s demonstrably cruel and only fuels the addiction they had when they were sentenced, making them significantly more likely to land back in Azkaban, stuck on that cycle until they die.”

Calleo leveled an even cold expression at the Minister, “Do you know what they do to people? Have you seen it first hand? Have you seen what happens when the body doesn’t die after a Kiss? I can take you to meet her sometime. “

“Just for clarification, you don’t want anything critical said of you, your policy contents or direction to anyone?” Calleo narrowed his eyes just slightly, though the odd cloudiness over his voice disappeared as quickly as it had come on and left no trace in the cheerful wake of his usual voice, “That’s a broad sweeping demand that deserves a broad sweeping demand be met in return: Get that paper off the blacklist and force the hands of the relevant people if they won’t cooperate to get them at least started on dismantling that division and getting preliminary planning phase started for St. Mungo’s to assist in dealing with management of a chronic illness with the potential to be contagious but no more so than anyone else if proper precautions are put into place.”

“I might suggest, if you haven’t got the political capital to disband the Werewolf Division, strong preference for positions of rank in that division ought to be actual werewolves.”

“I’m well aware those sorts of social changes often take years before any major progress is made, but I see no good reason as to why dismantling can’t get to work on putting the gears in place. Lycanthropy is a life altering illness, but it shouldn’t be a life destroying one and changing that is easy enough that it fit on thee. pages.”

“It’s also, I might add, been repeatedly and successfully, with and without wolfsbane, tested at every full moon since that was written.”

For a minute or two Calleo sat quietly still mulling over something to do with werewolves, “Keep in mind, Minister, that people who like to call themselves Dark Lords know how to appeal to the sorts of people Wizarding societies push to the edges or exile entirely. They will approach werewolves and anything you’d see crawling around Knockturn, and they will be successful in taking them into the fold–when those who feel rejected and unwanted by society, any offer to belong to a society or even to a group of people who don’t immediately hate you, fear you, or see you as subhuman. It’ll be easy to turn every bit of anger and resentment they have right back around on the rest of us and it will be entirely the Ministry’s fault if they fail to act on assisting vulnerable parts of Wizarding society out of fear.”

Werewolves must be a hot button issue.

Calleo tilted his head to the left in an odd, bird-like movement, “That’s a first. Most people at least want to look at the collection. Just as well, probably, some of it’s incredibly nasty pieces of work. It’s all under lock and key, so to speak, that’s worlds better than the actual legal guidelines.

“As for what I suspect your demand in return is, I’ve ruled out money as bribery due to it being illegal and Gringott’s would certainly notice any odd cash movements of that nature. I’m finally back on good terms with them and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“And you’ve just said you have no interest in anything out of my collection, which I’m always going to find a little odd. Reckon it does seem a little off putting if you’re not used to handling it or being around that sort of magic, even if it’s heavily muted by the security system.”

“So, generally–” Calleo stopped whatever flippant and likely cutting remark that had first come to mind.

“Company.” This time he stated his not quite a guess matter-of-factly along with a shrug that was a dead match for his tone. The first answer that had come to mind may have been loads more fun to say but considering that the Minister now looked like he was one tinny word away from needing to lie down Calleo elected to take a more vague, heavily coded way of speaking.

“That’s what most of them want anyway, even if it’s only an hour or two a couple of times out of the week. Certain professions don’t care to be honest about how isolating the work can be or that you end up surrounded by sycophants who nearly always tell you what they know you want to hear.”

“The ones that don’t often end up sacked, and you can’t sack me. Not in the a way that’d make me lose my job at any rate. You could try to order the head of the Department of Mysteries to do it but he’d likely must laugh and walk away and Director Yandle would offer a similar response though I probably ought to warn you if you damage my so badly I have to take time off of work, you’ll absolutely hear from Director Yandle and I’ve seen him get like that before; he’s very quiet and completely terrifying.”

He laughed and shook his head, “I haven’t managed to completely terrifying part very well yet and it mostly just comes off as though I’ve lost my voice!”

“I’ll take a guess based on your reactions here that you’re after the sort of company nobody knows you’d ever be looking for, you know, apart from the partners of mine who want to know if I’m spending company company with someone else. One of those communication things.” ”If you don’t want suspicion or rumours, I’d suggest a formal write up–the AƉ9-Mţ, specifically. It’s a level five; requires at least two daily progress meetings with the Minister for Magic and nobody in this entire building who’s met me for more than ten minutes would ever question that.” Either Calleo had been thinking ahead or he hadn’t been remotely joking when he’d said it wasn’t nearly his first time playing this game.

“Well, apart from Director Yandle, but he’d figure it out quickly enough then not talk to me opting instead to stare in bewilderment for a few seconds before retreating to his office.”

“Fine by me, really; got two like that, one doesn’t mind if I tell others his name, the other absolutely does. The married couple likes to know but doesn’t typically have objections, apprehensions, of course, but no objections and–he was bothering you a bit for awhile, wasn’t he? Percival? Don’t mind him, he really is a dirty old man; does that stuff to get a rise–pun usually intended–out of someone.”

“This office is dreadful for that kind of thing; everything in here feeds off of energy,  magical, emotional, psychological and anything else it thinks it can get out of you and if you’re  used to having that happen, most people tend to panic. It’s possible but, people outside the field tend to get more than a little prickly about it” Calleo turned to give the antique, thread-bare sofa a critical look, “That’d probably just fall apart and send springs flying. Really ought to get it redone.”

Calleo then turned his judgey gaze back to the desk, “And I never recommend touching the wood on any part of that thing; got about a century and a half’s worth of blood soaked into it, it may actually be sentient at this point but hasn’t started moving on its own. Yet.”

“Your office, on the other hand may as well be an overly large flat; just move the table out of the way and tweak your anti-apparation wards to let me in and out with minimal noise. wards and nobody even has to have the slightest idea that I was there at all. Obviously wouldn’t see me either direction. Braxford’s got a good charm that kills light so effectively you can’t see a Fiendfyre in the middle of it. If ’m working late I put it around my open door and have it extend back a couple of feet so whoever it is is incredibly surprised to find someone there. Nice failsafe even if the door is locked.”

“Unless you don’t want to be here at all–I really have no strong opinions one way or another, I’m nothing if not accommodating.

Quite frankly, no; Cornelius did not want to see what happens to a body when it doesn’t die after a Kiss. He’d rather keep as far away from Azkaban and Dementors as possible. There were other people to do that job for him - he was just the one that told everyone else what to do. It was what he was supposed to do. But there was power with his job, and he would make sure this Auror didn’t waste any more of her time chasing down Calleo.

Even Cornelius isn’t stupid enough to believe that the Wizard has anything to do with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. There were other people who worked in the Ministry who were a lot closer to the Dark Lord when he was around, and those people were the ones who should be watched. Calleo may surround himself with dark magic, but Cornelius was sure that he didn’t do anything that would constitute him as a dark wizard. 

As Calleo talked, Cornelius looked down at the three pieces of paper on the table that Calleo wanted him to read so desperately. Fudge tried to keep himself so far away from the subject of werewolves, he didn’t actually realise people cared so passionately for them. As far as Fudge was concerned, they were just creatures - monsters - that should be treated as such. It would take a long time, and Fudge may not even be in power to see the end of such a change… but if it meant closeness and intimacy… and if he never had to stand face to face with a werewolf… it might just be worth it.

It wasn’t bad to be a little selfish sometimes, was it? He could do something for the sake of a group of people if it meant that he got something out of it, couldn’t he?

The subject of the Dark Lord came up again and Cornelius shifted uncomfortably. He hated that idea; and he hated that Calleo had put the thought in his head too. What if he was right? What if someone else came along and tried to do what Voldemort did all those years ago and the werewolves joined that side? What if the werewolves came after him? It was a classic case of keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer. 

Fudge nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Merlin, he didn’t realise he was so easy to scare.

“I don’t want money.” Fudge replied almost instantly. It wasn’t a money thing; he had plenty of it. The saying was true - money couldn’t buy happiness. He went red again at the mention of company. It made him feel a little pathetic; like a lonely man who has to do someone a favour just so he can get someone to be with him. It is pathetic, Fudge supposed. Calleo had a lot of leverage over him right now; he could bribe him into anything.

It seemed like Fudge was going to be just another notch on Calleo’s bedpost, and Calleo would be his… second? How embarrassing, but Calleo didn’t need to know that. Not yet, anyway. “I know I  can’t sack you,” Fudge stated. He’d already looked into it. Calleo was too valuable to the Ministry - he knew too much. And he certainly knew too much about Fudge’s private life for him to be let go now. 

“How did you know?” Cornelius asked, his voice quiet now. His body language softer, arms uncrossed and by his side, like he’s relieved that a secret he’s been holding so close to his chest for so long is no longer there but out in the open; like a weight has been lifted from his chest. Was it that obvious though? That he liked men?

“No–” Fudge wanted it. God, he wanted it. “I’ll get that done.” He nodded. “When does this … agreement start?”

“Outreach, and not as a veil to try and distract from the fact that you’ll detain them or make sure everyone else now knows they’re a werewolf; that office does that and it drives them further and further away from feeling as though they belong.”

The Minister’s all but open dismissal of the short paper regarding lycanthropy and, wordlessly stood, walked around his desk and to the table the papers had been left, scooping them up in one fluid motion, following through to pin them between his hand and the Minister’s shirt, “It’s three. pages. Single sided. You’ll read it now.”

He hadn’t raised his voice any louder than he’d been speaking seconds prior, and nothing obvious had changed in his body language or movements. Calleo often moved with relative grace–in his own office, at any rate–there had been a distinct, albeit brief coldness flash across his eyes but perhaps it had been an illusion? They looked as they had a few seconds ago, and this time Calleo didn’t return to sit behind his desk.

He stood there, evidently fully intent on the Minister taking the time to read three pages of tested research.

“I do like that dynamic at the Ministry in general, the one where none of you outside this department can do anything to those of us down here unless someone snaps and starts picking off Muggles as they walk by the building on account of people threatening to do it then finding out that we only have to listen to the rest of you upstairs if we feel like it,” he ended with a sharp laugh and shook his head slightly.

“Have you ever played cards with someone who’s not familiar with the game that’s going on? And how they sort of try to mimic the other people around them so they won’t be found out as not having any idea what’s going on, but it never quite works for the people around who’ve got a lot of experience with the card game being played–and nobody says anything out of politeness?”

“It’s kind of like that. A put on personality isn’t all that convincing if you’re not into selling it and making it look real. People pick up on that, you know, then they start to get the idea that you're  disingenuously or hiding something. Have you considered your actual personality at any point?”

Calleo shrugged, “Well, that and the fact that nobody turns that shade of red during normal conversation or nineteenth century coded extra mild wording and you still looked you were about to die at the word company. Likely a good thing I didn’t say something vulgar; you might have fainted, and these are stone floors.”

That reminds me, though,“ he absently scratched the side of his head, “When I say company it’s fine to take it with or without implications; I haven’t got objections to either implications of the word. If you meant company company, however, this office? Not a good place for that, watch.”

Calleo, barely raising his voice to that of a standard loud talker, not a screaming child or normal indoor conversation levels, asked one question, “Director, how clearly can you hear me at this volume?”

“You could give me reports through the wall.” Not surprisingly, the voice was coming through the wall slightly muffled but still clear enough to be heard, “Put up your bunch of stealth and silencing charms if you trust anyone else in there not die. Or, better yet, go somewhere that’s less likely to try and rip someone’s throat out with teeth that only look as though they’re made of paper.”

After he’d finished the clearly mature behavior of someone in his 30s by making a rude gesture at the wall that shared its other side the director’s office.

“Unless you want to come back down here after everyone but Maintenance and I are gone I’m sure you have keys that leaves your office, somewhere else, or, the last director turned one little room into a small flat sometime before Director Yandle started working here. Looks like a time capsule, but it’s always been kept in good shape by the rest of the department.”

“Downside of that!” Were there any upsides to anywhere in the Ministry at this point? “Is that it takes a little over an hour to get down there and past the massive levels of security that will scan and rescan you several times.”

“First few levels aren’t too bad, it’s around level 5, just before it goes down again toward level 6, at which point you’re in the areas where things can kill you so, you know don’t touch anything without asking about it first because I do not want the paperwork that would go along with "Accidentally murdered the Minister”?

“More than three pages, I can tell you that much.”

“Or, if none of that pans out, there’s always Exfugio and several layers of silencing charms literally anywhere. Nobody sweeps for it; it’s an obscure old thing that’s, frankly, better than a standard disillusionment charm, which everyone sweeps for.”

The Minister is surprised at Calleo’s actions, and he blinks, silent for a moment at the pressing of the hand against his chest. Yes, there’s three pieces of paper in between it but it’s the most human contact he’s had in… a very long time. So Cornelius did as he was told (he was actually quite obedient when he became comfortable around somebody, and that was probably not the best quality for a Minister for Magic to have) and started to read the pages. 

There was a small frown on his face as he concentrated, occasionally mouthing the words as he reads, blocking out whatever it is that Calleo was saying for a moment - something about dynamics and how no one can fire people in his department. Fudge looked up again from the paper as Calleo answered his question about how obvious he was. That was another thing - similar to his lack of human contact, Cornelius could rarely remember a time where he was truly himself around somebody. The people he spent most of his time with were his employees - and they don’t need to see the full extent of his somewhat submissive, quiet and gentle nature. It’s not what he wanted others to see him as, especially when there were rumours going around about You-Know-Who being back and Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore being at the forefront of that. 

Not to mention how betrayed he’d felt by Dumbledore all those years ago. No - it’s always been a lot better to keep to himself. Until now. Cornelius was curious. “Would you like to see my actual personality?” He asked, amused at the thought, and his eyes flicked down to the papers again until Calleo asked him to watch. He was alarmed as he heard the Director’s response - had he heard everything they’d talked about?! - Cornelius decided it’s much better for them to spend time in his office. At least it’s away from everyone else’s offices. They’d have some privacy. 

Calleo continued to talk and Cornelius continued to read; the study was interesting and there was a part of him that was left a little more at ease with the idea of helping werewolves but he was still terrified of them. He bit his lip in thought.

'How much does it cost to brew the Wolfsbane potion?’ Cornelius asked. He wanted to sit down, to think about this more, but he was nervous to touch anything in this office considering what Calleo and the Director have already said. So he stayed standing, and realised that he was now quite close to the other wizard. They were certainly close enough for one person to put their hand on the other’s chest like before. He wanted to know what it would feel like without the papers – or clothing – between them. And his face went a little hot at the thought.

Calleo was right; the papers weren’t that long and it was just a study. Perhaps they could conduct a bigger one… to see if it’s unanimous across all werewolves… Would it make them like the Minister more? Would it keep him safer from them if he treated them less like Beasts and more like people?

“And there’s a block on this? A simple study? Did the departments read this at all or was it stopped before that?”

When Calleo moved away, he did so with what could have been interpreted as a light shove, had he not curled his fingertips  instead to make it a sharp, albeit still light shove.

“At the very least the divisions and offices that deal with werewolves need that as mandatory literature.”

“As for wolfsbane, cost for ingredients alone makes it out of the price range a werewolf could afford; it’s also difficult to brew, which also brings the cost up. Without anyone being willing to hire them, they have no money and can’t even afford a decent amount of clothes.”

Hey, at least he got the Minister to read the paper!

"That depends entirely on whether you mean what you’re like away from work or whether that’s just a bizarre nickname for parts of one’s anatomy.” Calleo leaned right back up against the desk he’d warned the Minister about.

Catching the look that followed the Director pointing out the walls are thin Calleo offered a lazy shrug in response. “Don’t worry about him. He’s mostly just needling–well, you right now. He could catch me in here with someone, ask for a file and I’d get it for him and he’d just walk right back out.”

“I do still think that you worry far to much about everything, you know. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack one of these days.”

He gave the Minister a few minutes to finish reading the paper.

“Going to venture a guess that you’re not all that keen on the crowded places in general which is just as well as I’m as well. Your office is probably nicer with the trade off of people. Everyone still does find your office easily.”

“The one a few levels down you have to know and remember which runes were lit this time them reenter once you want out. ”

“C'mon then.” Calleo reached out to grab a lapel or any part of the Minister’s jacket really. “You’re the one who went from ‘I have no idea why I’m here” to 'don’t care where we are just get on with it!’ In the span of about a minute. Your office or the basement office?“

"Your office at least has a decent skyline view and those two sofas I’m pretty sure rarely get used for anything at all.”

Yes, a werewolf couldn’t afford it but what Cornelius wanted to know was whether it would cost too much for the Ministry to provide it free of charge. He supposed it would only need to be created 12 times a year, and it could create more jobs for people. It was something he could consider. 

“No, I don’t have a nickname for any part of my anatomy,” Cornelius replied with a shake of his head. “I’m the Minister, it’s my job to worry.” Aside from burying his head in the sand when it came to the whole You-Know-Who issue, Cornelius spent most of his time worrying. Calleo was right; he’d end up in St. Mungos himself if he wasn’t careful.

Maybe he needed to relax a little. The thought of doing anything on those sofas made him flush again. Gosh, he couldn’t walk through the corridors of the Ministry with Calleo, completely red in the face.

“I think the basement office is probably the best idea right now,” he finally managed. This was actually happening, wasn’t it? Cornelius’s palms were sweating, hands shaking with nerves. He handed the papers back to Calleo. “Send me a copy of those later and I’ll see to it that the right people read it and do something to fix the issue.” Fudge tried to keep his voice as level and calm as possible.

“We can do my office another time.” This wasn’t what he’d expected when he walked into Calleo’s office, but Fudge certainly wasn’t going to start complaining.

Calleo caught the silence that followed the Wolfsbane information and explained further while checking over the office's door locks; it never was a good idea to have someone who didn't work in that department just wander in unsupervised.

"If they can't afford it, it's pointless to ask what it costs; it's less that the ingredients are expensive in and of themselves and more that the brewing process is so particular, specific, and complicated. It is not, however, anywhere near the cost or time put in that some of the other treatments provided for more socially acceptable illnesses treated--and sometimes treated long term or lifelong--by St. Mungo's."

"You know why they'd resist it or why the public would resist it, or even why the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures would push back on it." The door itself shut quickly enough that it ought to have made some kind of noise beyond complete silence. That must have been normal as Calleo didn't give it a second glance.

"The question," Calleo kept speaking as he walked past the Minister and toward the door on the far side of the room that, in contrast to the office door, had the look of something perfectly ordinary, "that needs to be asked isn't whether or not it's affordable but whether or not it'll be on your administration's legacy to have started changing policies, procedures, and societal misconceptions around them. We're talking about people here, not wild pest animals, and there are plenty of other much more dangerous creatures out there, some of which come into significantly more frequent contact with humans than werewolves ever do."

"Or," he shrugged at the door, "whether your administration will be remembered for stubbornly upholding a cruel status quo." When he fell silent, it wasn't to let words sink in or to give the Minister time to think about it, he was simply unlocking then setting up the triggers to close and to re-arm the door once they'd passed through it.

The door itself, an innocuous, plain looking thing--when someone without the key sigil set that allowed them to pass unobstructed or, at least, without the magic surrounding the area making itself visible as a reminder that it was there and the person who wasn't in possession of specific keys would do well to remember that. It didn't respond much to Calleo beyond a subtle shift in the energy of the room. 

When the door got it into its head that the Minister was a little too close without having been granted permission to be that close, the entire thing lit up along with the majority of the security magic that could now be seen so tightly knit against and around anything that could be potentially dangerous that the objects behind them were entirely obscured, taking on both the appearance and feel of something that knew it was allowed to do more than bite if the offending Other Person stepped too close.

Calleo, for his part, didn't seem to find that behaviour at all strange, though the automatic feel to his explanation seemed so well-rehersed that it was likely something he said multiple times per day.

"They didn't have any sort of security on this department for years, save for a lift that continually breaks down--knock it off--" the door got a small tap with the back of his hand. Better to make the unlocking mechanism as ambiguous and murky as possible; even the Minister wouldn't have what would be considered sufficient rights to access some areas of the department, and the fewer details he saw about how the place went into and came out of lockdown the better.

"Your Undersecretary, the one with the grating voice and all the pink, she's continually trying to make us remove it as 'not Ministry approved' and--" whatever Calleo had done beyond telling the door's security to "knock it off" did, in fact, cause the visible magic to fade and retreat from the doorway itself, "--made a complete and expensive mess of the place in the process of trying to let the Ministry approved contractor deal with it. She also doesn't like it when I tell her she's not Department of Mystery approved."

"You are the Minister for the moment, but it isn't your job to worry; that's why you have departments, directors, and advisors. It's your job to lead. It's their job to bring any potential snags in what you're planning to you so it can be discussed as to whether the concerns are valid or not and rework as necessary."

He remembered, somehow, to take a glance back and see if the Minister was following him or not, literally in this case, "You're going to want to keep up; the first three levels are mostly overlap with Records and are generally harmless. Beyond that, most of the department staff that disappear or die after a couple of years do it in here."

"Not as bad as the Brain Room's fatality numbers," muttered under his breath there, "They won't even label the wall outside of that room, let alone put up a door or even a magical reminder of "Warning: This room contains brains that will literally kill you." They just expect everyone to know and go with this, 'Oh, well, they DID walk into the Brain Room, and you have to expect to be killed by brains if you go into the Brain room.' sort of thing."

Whichever level they were at now seemed--ordinary, a bit like a section of a library and much less like a place that held anything that could be a danger for anything more than a paper cut.

At the top of one of the stairways leading to deeper levels, Calleo turned around to face the Minister, "Do you really not recognise the name Percival Graves? You're old enough that you ought to at least remember it from the first European Magical History books revised and republished after that war if you're going to try and tell me you're under eighty."

He turned, stepping off to the side and gesturing for the Minister to walk in front of him, "I used to keep people walking behind me after this level, until I realised that the majority of them couldn't manage to not try and touch things that were trying to lure them into touching; that's how nasty curses spread and also how you lose fingers, hands arms, heads blood--and I hate cleaning up blood, when that happens down here it's this awful, detailed, time consuming process as half of what's in here can completely ruin your life if it gets any of it absorbed."

"Assuming you don't die in the process." The shrug wasn't physical but clearly present in his voice. "It's also a lot of extra paperwork that I don't really have the time to deal with so--anything that's on a shelf from this point on? If it looks at you, don't make eye contact. If it talks to you, ignore it, don't even turn to look at it. Nothing can reach you from the shelves if you stay in the center of the corridor but, as a reminder, don't. touch. anything. Nothing in here is as sweet and cloying as it plays at being, that's how it lures people who don't know what it is."

"You know what? Just put your hands in whatever pockets you've got and leave them there for now. The only other person in this entire building I'd even remotely trust to be down past Level Four without extensive supervision is the Director."

Once the Minister had walked past him--and if he didn't, he might find out how quickly Calleo would and could move him, this was his element, after all--and Calleo stepped away from the staircase landing a door that had not strictly been there prior came into view and promptly locked itself down as though it moonlighted as an Azkaban cell door.

"Director thinks the last Director lived down here. He never saw her leave, and he never saw her arrive in the lifts, not that that means much, there are two different ways out of here once you get down to the lowest level so she could have just been coming in that way."

Calleo remained pleasantly conversational, describing little things about the Archives. "He says she worked down here most of the time too, which does seem like a good way to avoid having to deal with anyone else at the Ministry; if someone doesn't know how to safely get down here they either have the common sense to turn around or they press on and either get extremely lucky or extremely dead."

Could he hear the entire room whispering a confusing mix of thousands of things? Most likely, he'd mentioned to the Minister to ignore any suggestions that seemed to be coming from shelves or specific books, after all. Whatever the eerie background noise it made, if it affected Calleo in the slightest, there was no outward sign.

With the way he was talking, one might have had the impression that he viewed everything in the place as completely harmless, provided you knew how to handle it. The air, especially as the level numbers increased, would have been stifling, almost suffocating and oppressive to most who weren't used to Dark Magic in general or not used to being around massive, close quarters concentrations of it.

He had been correct, however, in stating that nothing could reach them at the center of the corridor, though several things could get alarmingly close before being snapped back to its respective spot on the shelf, "Level five is the worst, it's where the majority of the texts on Blood Magic are, and everything bites. Some of them actually have to be fed or the paper and leather starts decaying. We typically use chickens for that. Hate it when it's my turn on that rotation."

"It's not difficult," Calleo turned a lazy gaze to one particularly movement filled shelf, "it's more that they know and if you think they're acting out now you should see them when there's actual, easy to get blood and you can't just throw it onto everything, that'd cause a lot of damage, we've got these long--ladles for lack of a better word."

"Some of them," He didn't expect the Minister to notice which ones, "have to be at least given a little--snack daily; the older it is, the more frequently it needs to be fed before it starts falling apart and some of these are the only copies left so they absolutely get fed until someone here has the time to finish transcribing them. Even then, they'll still get fed; I'm good at exact copies, right down to the magic woven into the pages and ink, but there are a few that can't be fully replicated due to the way the original author wrote it."

There was a good chance that the poor Minister had checked out and had no interest in Calleo affectionately talking about genuinely horrible magic and its care and maintenance, though seemed awfully cheerful about it all; he certainly hadn't been exaggerating about how long it took to get to the buried little flat on the lowest level.

"Don't listen to anything on Level 6. Department of Mysteries recently had me weed through some cluttered storeroom to separate out actually cursed things from horcruxes awhile back, and the horcruxes that had been attached to books are on Level 6."

"They're very friendly; the primary passive way of resurrection is to simply take over someone else's mind, kill the person living in it, and settle in to a new-to-the living body. That's why they're friendly, they want you to get to know them, befriend them, listen to them talk about how unfairly they were maligned in their first life, and won't you please sit and chat awhile, because they're all so lonely."

Calleo flashed a grin at one of the shelves as they passed, "I know six people on that shelf; thought they'd died anywhere between 1982 and 1990 and I might have something nice to say about them if four of them hasn't inconveniently died while still owing me several thousand galleons and two hid books of mine they'd borrowed behind fidelius charms. They're the secret keepers, they just don't want to tell me."

He shrugged lightly then laughed far, far too cheerfully, "Legilimency and Mensrapere for the most stubborn ones work well enough on them it's more a matter of finding the time to do it and it's technically a personal project. This level is why a high level of skill with Occlumency is a job requirement; it blocks most of them from being able to do any real damage, though you have to adjust how you're using Occlumency to keep them out as how a horcrux will 'talk' to you in your mind is different than someone just using Legilimency."

"I talk to people using Legilimency all the time, and I've had one of those things try to worm its way into my head; completely different feeling. Kind of like--if you've never stuck your hand into dirty dish water and had food brush across your hand, that comparison probably won't work. Maybe--it feels kind of like stepping in a puddle and not being able to dry your socks because Muggles are around so you just have to live with the gross, wet sock feeling for awhile."

"Oh hey!" Calleo laughed again, this time taking a good thirty seconds to regain control of himself, "I just thought of another reason I don't mess about in my office; there are six people who live on the desk. All those paperweights, those are people. There's a branch of Transfiguration that falls under the Dark Arts, you know--" he shook his head, "If I'm ever talking to myself in there, I'm not, I'm talking to the lot of them. They can hear, see, and feel everything going on around them but they can't react to it as they'd been turned into various inanimate objects by someone who is either unknown or long dead and the original caster is required to reverse it when it's modified like that. But hey, that's another thing--"

This time, Calleo stepped forward quickly enough to make a grab for the Minister's shoulder either to get him to turn around or to turn him around, "Do you have any idea how many times I've purposely made appointments with the Wizengamot to petition to allow a killing curse to be used as a mercy in those cases? Some of those people have been stuck like that since the late eighteenth century, and will remain trapped until something 'kills' the object they were transfigured into and bound to. Every time it's brushed aside in a way I can only describe as, 'That's an interesting story, but we'll still send you to Azkaban if you kill them'."

"You know that's not right. I know the lot of you know that you're keeping them condemned to be trapped like that because they're still technically alive. They an speak to anyone who can use Legilimency and have been repeatedly denied that, as it seems like some of you think it's just me doing a puppet show of sorts."

"You bypass the Wizengamot frequently enough to sign off on things you've barely skimmed, you all but admitted that earlier. Even the one that's been permanently transfigured for the shortest amount of time has been there since 1976. Nobody deserves a fate like that but I'm not about to risk Azkaban--that's an entirely different kettle of bees there."

"We're switching positions for Level 7." Evidently, they were also switching conversation topics as well. "Even you don't technically have clearance to be on Level 7. It's only me, Director Yandle, the head of the Department of Mysteries, and four Unspeakables."

Calleo gave the Minister a pat on the cheek as he passed him, "For both legal and personal accountability reasons, I'm going to remind you to not touch anything, don't look at anything either--you could lose your eyes if you look at the wrong book here, there are about fifteen that have that type of warding built into them--whatever you think you hear, see, smell, or feel, ignore it, it's just the residuals that magic leaves in its wake. All magic does it, it's just easier to feel the Dark sort as it enjoys making itself known."

"They all know me on this level" Calleo had perked up again and occasionally paused what he was telling the Minister to greet a few of the more polite texts. "Nothing down here meets the full criteria for sentience, and it's sort of the Gerald principle; when magic is set up to speak it's usually also set up to be able to learn so it can give more lifelike answers and conversation as it ages. Trouble is, after a certain point, most will start looping as they hit capacity or, worse, people mistake a horcrux for elaborate charms work and end up in a bit of a state or dead over it."

They had passed a narrow, dark corridor that, if one squinted, had a door at the end of it, likely because Calleo's attention was more on the work he loved despite nearly anyone else being of the opinion that it should be destroyed and forgotten.

"This one at the end, though, Æterna Discruciare, there are two copies of it that exist that aren't reprints; the other is in a private collection, and if you don't think I've been trying to get my hands on it for years you'd be wrong--and not to archive it, to keep it. I'll get it eventually, I always do in the end."

The book at the end of the hallway did not--leave a pleasant feeling in the air. The closer one got to it, the colder and heavier the atmosphere became. For all appearances it looked as though Calleo simply laid a hand on its questionably sourced leather cover, ignoring wispy tendrils of black tinged red that coiled themselves around his fingers, hand and wrist, "I've had the necessary permits done  to keep it if I can get it--the private collection one, of course, this one is Ministry property, aren't you?"

Apparently, it was all right for Calleo to talk to the books. The book itself shifted in a manner that looked somehow unpleasant, as though it were trying to disappear from where it had been chained--both magically and with the standard type of chains that were reinforced with magic--down and shut.

"You're not dangerous in the right hands," his fingers carefully traced through the ornate gilt on the cover and spine; whatever the book had wound around Calleo's fingers, hand and wrist moved with him becoming slowly less red and more shadowy, eventually it balled itself up and left the book entirely to sit wound around Calleo's left hand and arm. The chains now politely released and moved out of the way, and Calleo simply picked the book up, turning back to face the Minister.

"See how easy that was?" His smile had an affectionate edge to it, though it seemed to be aimed at the book he was now holding. "They're only dangerous if you haven't been taught how to handle them they way they like to be handled or if you're not respectful of what they're capable of."

"Æterna Discruciare is one of my favourites, you know. A good lot of modern theory foundation where the Dark Arts are concerned can be traced back either this or Maledictum Coerceri." Carefully, he opened the cover of Æterna Discruciare, but when one of the pages he touched actively tried to pull itself away, Calleo simply closed the cover again.

"Not in the mood I guess." He chuckled, "I'd show you where Maledictum Coerceri is kept but I don't want to deal with Greg today. Greg is nice for getting the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to get hauls from raids down so we can process them. His name is--" Calleo waved his hand and the terrible, unpronounceable name appeared in the air: "Gqnjcvwryzmpxng".

"Says the human tongue is too large and not forked enough to say it correctly, tough I can do it if I just transfigure my own into something more--summonable Imp looking. Gives me an awful lisp though, and he did say I could just call him Greg."

Calleo, by this point, had likely clearly forgotten that most other people found the work he did horrifying at best or completely incomprehensible but still wrong at worst. At least he remembered the Minister was still there.

"Being down here is like recharging a battery, you know--part of why it's so addictive," absently, he moved his fingers to move with whatever magic it was he'd peeled from the book. "It's nice though, the burn and the rush that comes after it. She's being polite today," he nodded to both the book he was holding and the magic wound around my hand, "not even touching my hand. Always quiet and cooperative when I'm working with her, you know; positively vicious to most other people."

He leaned down to almost affectionately touch his nose to the book's cover. Evidently numerous past statements Calleo had made about usually being the first to rub his face all over something cursed weren't too far from the truth.

"You're perfectly lovely, as long as whoever's got their hands on you knows what they're doing, aren't you?" The book's pages fluttered in response, "Not here for studying at the moment, though I'm taking you with me when we go back to the main level."

That must have been some kind of cue as the magic wound around Calleo's hand and wrist unwound itself and spread back over the covers and spine of the book itself; once laid back on its section, the chains and wards designed to forcibly keep it there reignited.

"She's my favourite," Calleo grinned at the Minister, "Anyway, we passed the hallway to the weird studio flat, it's that narrow dark one that looks like it leads to either a void or a door depending on the angle. Nothing down here appreciates Lumos or bright lights in general, if you hadn't noticed. It's why the lights are kept low in my office as well."

"What I like about this bizarrely located flat is that it'll wall off the corridor if people are in there and to anyone who doesn't know where it is it just looks like a blank section of wall." The sound of stone locking into place seemed to confirm that, even if it wasn't readily visible.

Inside the door, the flat itself was--normal.

Just a normal studio flat. Unlike everything else on the way own here this room, apart from a decent set of locks on the door, was perfectly, utterly normal.

Small kitchen, small bathroom, one entire other room that had a bed behind a floor standing screen and a sofa, two matching chairs, and an old wood, coffee mug ring stained table between them.

"Still nicer than that flat I lived in in Knockturn for awhile in 1979. Could probably take a holiday here and nobody would notice!"

Calleo almost immediately draped himself across one of the chairs, "Pavidus is the easiest one to deal with, so that's an expectation here; you keep her off my back--and I don't care how you do it, a strongly worded memo about wasting Ministry resources, or sack her, it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as she stops making my life annoying." Another grin.

"I don't expect you'll gain much ground with the Werewolves at this point in time, but just putting the idea there and stopping the department from putting more restrictions on them--that's where I'd think you'd want to focus."

"And for the 'desk ornaments'," that shrug didn't look much like one considering he'd draped himself across a faded, old leather recliner, "if you can't sidestep the Wizengamot, look the other way and let me let them go."

Now, he grinned, upside down, much like he did back in the Minister's office weeks ago, "Keep me content, don't go off half cocked on those three things---you're a politician, you know how it works and you know how to get around absurd objections--and you'll have your regular company."

"Or, in a shorter turn of phrase: Keep me happy and I'll keep you company. Shouldn’t be difficult; I’m extraordinarily low maintenance."

"As long as it's not physically impossible, I can probably do it and, honestly, probably already have at some point in my life; same rules I have for a duel for the most part: Nothing lethal within twelve hours of a hit, nothing permanently disfiguring, nothing permanently debilitating, anything else dittany will usually take care of it."

"That sounds indecisive, I know," he snickered at himself, "but it's really not, it's more that between five different partners being pretty versatile is necessary and when it's someone new I have no idea what they're into or what they're comfortable doing so I just--adjust as we go."

"So, how do you want to do this? Anything specific in mind? I can adjust what I'm doing, my attitude--so to speak--and I can almost guarantee that nothing you suggest will approach anything I'd consider strange or off putting." He stretched like a horrible ginger cat, "I can follow your lead unless you think you'll freeze in place, you can follow my lead, Or, if you had something specific in mind I doubt I'd have difficulty picking up on it."

That--all may have giving the distinct impression that Calleo was not exaggerating in the slightest when he told Cornelius earlier in the day that he knew damn well what the implications of quid pro quo were, and was well versed in navigating those waters.

That was the answer the Minister needed - it was easier to deal with than some other treatments provided at St Mungo’s and if it meant that Werewolves were more likely to be on his side, and not eat him should they wish to … then it had to be worth it. And Calleo was playing to his ego now - about his administration’s legacy, he allowed himself to daydream a little bit. He could be a hero. Or, it could all be a disaster. 

This must have been a reason why the Ministry couldn’t sack Calleo; he seemed to know an awful lot about how to get around things, how to deal with dark magic and it was certainly impressive. Fudge felt more and more like he was just winging it the more time he spent around Calleo. 

“I’m going to guess you were in Ravenclaw at Hogwarts?” The comment came out of nowhere, but it had to be said. The intelligence, the wit: it just made sense. 

The comment about Umbridge made Fudge roll his eyes. Of course, she had tried to get involved with something that wasn’t anything to do with her. Afterwards, she’d tell Cornelius that she was doing it for him, so she could make sure he knew everything that was going on in the Ministry, but as Calleo told him he needed to stay close and people had died down here, Cornelius was beginning to realise there were things about the Ministry he’d rather not know about. Like the Brain Room.

“Well considering what you’ve told me about people dying down here, I think I’ve more cause to worry now.”

Fudge tried to stay as close to Calleo as possible. He wanted to reach out and grab hold of the other wizard so he didn’t lose him. This wasn’t the start he’d expected. The comment about his age made him laugh lightly. That was strange. Cornelius couldn’t remember the last time he’d genuinely laughed. 

“Yes, I know who he is. I just hadn’t expected the comment about him.” He paused, raising an eyebrow at Calleo as he gestured for the Minister to go in front. “This isn’t a trick to push me into something and then have me die, is it?”

It was a joke, mostly, but he hoped it wasn’t going to happen. Calleo had talked a lot about Cornelius dying. That wasn’t sexy at all; it was actually quite frightening. The whole place just sounded like he shouldn’t be down here at all. It sounded like no one should be down here. Fudge looked over his shoulder at Calleo, clear concern on his face now. Yikes. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes and held tightly onto the material inside so he didn’t get tempted to touch anything. 

Of course, being told not to do something made it difficult to resist, especially as things seemed to be talking to him, and it was all so tempting to look at things. He was curious. Thankfully, Calleo was talking continuously and Fudge did his best to focus on that instead as they walked through the corridors. 

“Why does this place exist?” He couldn’t help but muse out loud. This whole place was terrifying. Fudge wished they’d just gone to his office now. Dark magic, blood magic … things biting, having to feed chickens to books. It was all bizarre. “I’ve never heard of half of this stuff. Do we have to go to Level 6?” Fudge didn’t like the idea of something trying to take over his mind, kill him, and take his body too. He got the lonely part, though. 

“I never learnt either,” he admitted, when the subject changed to Occlumency and Legilimency. There was a lot Fudge hadn’t learnt, it seemed. Fudge’s walking came to a halt when Calleo mentioned there were people that were paperweights listening to their conversation.

“So now there’s you, the Director, and six more people that know?!” His voice got a little too high pitched for his liking. Fudge ended up being turned around by Calleo and he could only manage to blink in response to what he heard. There was a lot, it seemed, that Cornelius didn’t pay attention to. “Can’t you just… smash the thing?” He asked. He hadn’t been to the Wizengamot when Calleo was there. Perhaps he’d make a trip next time, just to hear him out. “You forget, though, that it’s not just up to me to make laws change. It takes time, debates…” He wasn’t sure that was enough to stop Calleo talking about the issue. Was that another thing that formed part of their deal?

The pat on the cheek was unexpected, and he flushed a little again. When was the last time someone had so casually touched him like that? He wanted more of it, even if he was a little put off right now given their surroundings. 

Fudge watched with curiosity and a little horror as Calleo talked to the books and touched them. What if something happened to him and it felt Cornelius down here all by himself? How was he going to get out? 

“This isn’t what I expected to come across, given what I thought we were coming down here to do.” Yes, Cornelius was actually horrified at what Calleo was doing. He couldn’t do this job; he could only just about do his own. “Can we… keep going?” He finally asked. 

And then they reached the flat and Cornelius felt himself relax so much more. This was more like it: normality.

He took his hands out of his pockets and flexed his fingers to prevent any cramp he’d gotten from holding on too tightly to the insides of his pockets.

“I’ll deal with her.” Fudge nodded. That was easy. The other two would take some more time, but he’d do his best. He watched Calleo with curiosity around the way he sat and couldn’t stop the small smile that came to his lips. Cornelius felt a lot more at ease down here, just the two of them, than he did when he was in Calleo’s office. 

Cornelius moved from the door to the couch and sat down next to Calleo. He figured he might as well be honest about a few things first. The other wizard had talked about how many partners he had - five in total - and that was four more than Fudge had ever been with. It was pathetic, really. 

“I’ve a confession to make,” he started. It was strange, how trusting he suddenly felt of Calleo. “I’ve, um, only ever been with one person. And– h– he… he hurt me quite a bit.” Getting that he out was hard, but he finally managed it. “It was a while ago, years actually, but with nobody to really talk to about what happened I suppose I might not have fully gotten over it.”

He looked down at where Calleo was lying. “And he was the one leading so I think I’d prefer right now if you’d do that. Once I’m comfortable, I suppose we could change it up to make it interesting.’ He fidgeted a little on the couch, trying to relax a little more. This was fine, everything was fine.

“I’m not a bad person, you know.” He added. “At least, I don’t think I am. I don’t try to be a bad person. Being Minister is a difficult job, there are a lot of tough decisions to make and people to keep happy and… it’s lonely. You’re obviously very comfortable with yourself – who you are, your interests in people – my father was a Muggle and considering the time I grew up in he was very vocal about his feeling towards men who like other men and that, I suppose, is still instilled in me even though he’s no longer around.”

It was quite nice, actually, to have somebody to talk to about all this. He felt like his guard was coming down, and he was relaxing, opening up, showing his real personality. “Take the reigns, would you? Show me how you’ve managed to get five partners at once.”

Surprisingly, Calleo was able to completely interrupt his excited explanations of the different areas of the archives to, somehow without breaking the train of thought or cadence of what he was saying, answer the Minister's questions.

"Mm, I was; good lot of my friends were in Slytherin. Director's from Hufflepuff. The other three Archivists I pulled from Durmstrang after a string of completely unqualified or otherwise unpleasant people from the UK applied."

Between explanations of what amounted to 'Keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times' of various, winding corridors, he continued to explain that, "Let the Director hire a friend and all that guy wanted to do was posture and try to fight me because he had some sort of problem reporting to someone 30 years younger, and I ended up telling him he could either resign or I could kick him out myself, as he was my direct report. Idiot resigned."

"Trouble is, there aren't many qualified people here because Hogwarts isn't allowed to teach even Defence in a way that's useful. That, and there’s something wrong with that position, it’s not normal to have to replace a professor every single year; if it’s not a curse, it’s at least a jinx." Another shrug.

As it was, he chose to not acknowledge the common things anyone in the department heard from people whose knowledge of the Dark Arts consisted mainly of: Bad. Icky. No. Burn it. It was nothing he hadn't heard before anyway and, as it was part of the Department of Mysteries, there wasn't much he had to be concerned about the Minister doing anyway. He could try, certainly, but whether or not there would be compliance was an entirely different matter. Explanations and insistence that none of it was nearly as dangerous as the paranoia drummed into the heads of most of the Wizarding world had led them to believe if one simply learned or was taught to handle it safely often fell on deaf ears.

"I can't just smash them, that would only keep them alive but also now in a bunch of tiny pieces I'd have to keep track of, it'd be like you telling me you had a headache and I decided the best way to fix that would be to shatter your kneecaps; they need to be properly killed. The sort that severs your spirit's connection from your physical body, and that is generally illegal."

"I'm not asking you to change the law anyway, I'm asking you to either bypass it with a very specific order or simply look the other way. Half the Wizengamot can't even figure out how marked card decks and disappearing-without-magic-pens work, I wouldn't expect most of them to understand any sort of nuance anyway."

Passively, Calleo watched the Minister mostly calm down at being out of view of the lower level of the Archives. All things considered, his own relaxed posture and lack of even looking remotely on edge might have given the indication that he'd fully decided that Cornelius Fudge was absolutely no threat to him in any possible way. And Calleo only ever came down to this room to work uninterrupted during the day, so he was more than used to both the walk down and the room itself, "You know there are two back stairways out of the Ministry down here, yeah? Doesn't do you much good to come in that way unless you've got keys to the rest of the Archives though or you'd just be stuck on Level 7, which is where we are now. Lets us leave when the lift breaks, though."

His ears perked up at the word 'confession', confessions were typically interesting little bits of gossip, after all. This one, to Calleo at least, was more of a typical conversation topic than a confession; he often did forget that most people weren't open books about various aspects of their personal lives (and that those same people likely often wished he wasn't either).

"Tried to kill you, hm?" Calleo also seemed to have completely forgotten that when most people made a comment like that, all they meant is that they were treated badly or it ended badly and 'badly' for most people didn't mean 'attempted murder'. Most other peoples' normal was significantly more normal than that. "Had three in a row try that on me; fourth one turned some Muggle into a spider in my living room then smashed the guy with a shoe--so he's in Azkaban and I'm still amazed I didn't get a ghost out of it. Wood's still stained on that table, though."

"Knife," Calleo pulled his hair back from the left side of his neck and turned slightly, "though the one she left isn't really visible over the newer one that's there." There was a distinct 'center' to what was there, and while it went in a curved, thin line from just behind his left ear and disappearing under the collar of his shirt, around it--and from the look of it, around his entire neck like a piece of permanent jewelry--was more scarring that looked purposely done in repeating patterns that looked like stylised leaves. That, he didn't elaborate on.

"The second one just showed up and would have probably hit me with the killing curse hello had I been in bed but, as impossibly good luck would have it, I'd fallen asleep on the sofa; still don't sleep in that room, and we actually get along fine now. Still can't pronounce his name correctly but that IS a step up from having been in a relationship for 8 months and not knowing it." Calleo blinked a couple of times, seemingly realising that made him sound like a bit of a dick. "It's not--I don't speak Polish, and he didn't speak any English, and we didn't talk all that much due to that."

"Third one, I just got tired of it as it was mostly a lot of amazingly violent fighting so after I told her it was over, she sent me a box of cursed jewelry and a twenty-six minute long Howler that opened with 'Why aren't you dead yet?'" Calleo laughed, "That's how she greets me now! Married someone in records, has four kids under six, I don't know when she finds time to sleep. Still has keys to my house and usually drops by to borrow books now an again. Linda is a lovely woman who is currently living my personal version of Hell so it's probably a good thing that one didn't work out."

"Found out a few years after the fourth one that the first one had taken 'nobody can have you if I can't' literally and had done a little work with blood magic," he shrugged again, "Only part of that that really bothered me was she caused someone to land in Azkaban and could have ended up getting two other people killed. When it was removed, it was reworked and sent back to her which I didn't realise until she turned up at my house again to demand I leave with her then--just couldn't use magic at all when she tried!"

"What'd yours do?" Surprisingly, Calleo did wait for an answer before he kept talking. If nothing else, the fact that Calleo's mind jumped straight to attempted murder and completely skipped over more mundane reasons for a relationship ending on bad terms was telling.

Calleo managed, with some difficulty, to not roll his eyes when the Minister went off on the, 'I'm not a bad person' bit; it wasn't the first time he'd heard that in general, especially when dealing with someone who worked in government. A good lot of them had their personal and political lives so tangled that, for many, it looked inseparable.

"Don't confuse your job with you; any issues I have are with the policies you're backing and the problems at the Ministry that are being ignored for one reason or another that can probably all be traced back to the Malfoy family's Gringott's account." He canted his head, likely trying to figure out exactly how old the Minister was; he hadn't denied being under 80 earlier but he was also mostly busy being horrified by the worst possible basement library out there.

"I'm sure you're terribly surprised to learn that I collect antique books," Odd start to a response after being told about someone's generally unpleasant sounding father, "but, in particular, I collect antique Muggle medical and 'social etiquette' books from the mid-19th century to about 1918 or so and there's one that always stuck out. Most of them have the same nonsense on that topic, but one had this entire section suggesting that, should you ever be stuck in the same room with another man and couldn't avoid sleeping to essentially keep a cast iron pan with you to crack his skull if you even thought he was looking at you sideways."

"That's an impressive level of paranoia right there. Just go sleep outside if you're that worried about it--that particular hypothetical took place on a moving train but, my suggestion is still the same: Go sleep outside."

"On the other hand, that same author had an entire chapter devoted to telling women if they laugh too much they'll end up having whatever the face of a giggler is and everyone will think they're ugly, so he might have just been a bit like your father: full of objectively bad opinions with no basis in reality or fact in general."

"So," now his head tilted the other way, "since I'm not about to pop upstairs to Records and find out, how old are you, exactly? Just a matter of idle curiosity and I know better than to guess ages since Director Yandle had me guess his for a laugh. Even taking into account that he's had a job at the Ministry since 1927, I was off by a few decades."

For a far too long moment, Calleo just sort of stared at the last thing the Minister had said to him, almost as though it didn't register at first what he had asked.

"That's less of a show and more of a tell, mate! They're all wildly different in that regard. Two I've known since school and one of those two I've had a relationship with since Fifth year; when he met his now wife he told her that he was part of a package deal and her reaction ran along the lines of 'hell yeah, a two-for-one!'. Exactly what it is, too! They've been married for awhile now and we're still a trio."

"Other one prefers keeping their private life private, so it's kept private. Viciously good with curse work though!" That probably wasn't something he should have flashed a grin over; it almost seemed involuntary.

"Then there's Hebridean Black! That's--not actually his name, it's just the code name he figured out he was given sometime around 1915 since he was good at keeping who he was completely hidden and the main reason he occasionally pops up in a history book or two is because of the level of," Calleo paused for a moment, "I don't even like to call it aggression; I don't necessarily believe those dragons are aggressive either, just--sort of defensively aggressive, and if you're not bothering or threatening them, it's not an issue."

"Known him all my life, still don't know his name. Not sure anyone does, but I have seen his face. In fairness, so have a lot of other people, though they don't tend to know who he is; learned a lot of my scorched earth level offensive dueling techniques from him. When he's not working, as it were, he's very quiet and soft," He stopped again and looked around the room for a good, solid minute, "And, since I haven't received a portkey-letter that's mostly on fire, I'll assume that amount of information was acceptable to bring up. Not going to push my luck on that one though!"

"And then,for reasons of plausible deniability for yourself as I certainly don't need it due to being anything but quiet about it, there's Percival Graves." Mercifully, Calleo wasn't the type to actually use air quotes but the heavy emphasis on that false name more than made up for it.

"Known him since 1987 and before you ask, it's definitely not illegal; I read over the entire sentencing document several times and ran it by one of my Goblin business partners to make sure any loopholes in it were beneficial loopholes and not loopholes that were going to get me arrested. Not entirely certain that keeping the wolpertinger is strictly legal but, what are they going to do to him? Put him in--double-prison? Move him to a nicer one with better lighting?"

“We’ve ended up extremely close on several levels, which was unexpected, but it’s nice; he’s incredibly affectionate and tactile which works out well as I’ll typically either wind myself around other people if they let me and vice versa; just in case you might have been wondering if it was necessary for you to sit halfway across the room from me.”

"Five at once sounds more like something he'd have been getting up to though, probably more than that, I've been told most of that propaganda had a strong basis in reality!"

"Turns out we know a lot of the same people, though he's at least been kind enough not to mention if any of it would have been something one of my relatives was into." Whenever Calleo should explain something further, it seemed as though he simply didn't; at least he was kind enough to counter it by letting his train of thought wander off the rails for completely mundane reasons.

"I don't know that I did much of anything to get all five of them apart from them somehow not finding my personality incredibly grating. Okay, to be entirely fair, one was--well, still is--a literal captive audience but still...and he definitely finds my personality grating at times, especially if I call him a captive audience or ask if he saw something coming, but I don't fit through the cell window so he can't exactly make good on those 'will throw you out the window' threats anyway!"

“He really is lovely though, despite the litany of war crimes; isolation and being forcibly denied the ability to use magic--he’s not the same person he was, that’s evident by simply talking to him. I wouldn’t drop him for anything; I wouldn’t drop any of them for anything.”

The affectionate laugh that followed that statement faded into a half smile and Calleo shook his head slightly, "You don't want to see any of that though; a good lot of it would very likely make you want to take your chances with the books on the other side of the door."

"Hell, a good lot of it is from the books on the other side of the door, and the rest of it?" Whether Calleo shrugged or the motion was simply from him pushing himself into a more upright position wasn't exactly clear, "The rest of it's for other people. There's always some overlap when it comes to things I'm all right having done to me because I'm a consistent factor there. Where other people are concerned, I've still never met two who are similar enough that I could even begin to simply do the exact same thing."

"If I do, all that's going to leave you with is the distinct, unshakable feeling that my mind had to be elsewhere and if you thought you were a strung out, cornered wreck before walking through three levels of books with terrible manners, it'll be worse when that hits."

"I wouldn't intentionally do that to anyone; it's cruel and despite the type of magic with which I work, despite the calibre of people it puts me in close contact and close working relationships with," Calleo, for a fleeting moment, just looked tired, "despite the majority of the magic itself being what causes those who use it to become what they become, despite the fact that I spent years that I still don't clearly remember in those positions and mindsets, despite all of it--the department, the published works, the vicious public stigma of working with the Dark Arts, I'm--just not that sort of person."

"And I know what that isolation feels like; the way it cuts through everything, and leaves you in the impossible position of wanting to break it and not wanting to risk breaking it breaking yourself in the process. I'm not going to contribute to it because I know it."

Calleo was relatively certain that the Minister would likely take all of that as an overly long rejection so, out of caution, immediately moved on from the topic. That sharp-edged but somehow not unfriendly grin returned and he leaned back just a bit, motioning for the Minister to come a bit closer, "What I can show you is both how to make that father of yours spin in his grave even on the off chance that he's not been dead for a few decades, and make you forget about work for awhile."

"Sound good?"

At least there was a way out of this place; that put Fudge at ease a little bit. He was about to protest that no, his ex hadn’t tried to murder him but Calleo continued and instead, Cornelius listened in almost horror about the terrible encounters Calleo had had. How was it possible that this man had been with so many people? Fudge supposed it was to do with his downright confidence. Calleo didn’t seem to care what anybody thought of him, and Cornelius was a little envious about that.

“Merlin, Calleo!” He exclaimed when he was shown the scar, his eyes wider and lips parted. It sounded like the other wizard had dated some terrible people, considering one was in Azkaban now. Fudge hated that place; it always left him feeling a little worse for wear and it took time to get over just how depressed he felt after a visit. He couldn’t imagine living there permanently. 

“She has a point,” Fudge teased - Fudge actually teased! - with a small laugh. “Although I guess my question is how aren’t you dead yet, not why, considering what you’re telling me right now.”

“It’s difficult to not confuse the two. I’ve basically become my job these past few years. Before I was Minister, it was a lot easier to separate them but even then I was always the first person in the office in the morning and the last to leave at night. Sometimes I didn’t leave at all. I rarely go home, even now, and that’s only to get a spare change of clothes so it doesn’t look like I’ve slept in mine. There’s not much point in going home when you’ve not got anybody to go home to.”

Cornelius didn’t realise how truly pathetic that sounded until he’d said it, and he hoped that Calleo wouldn’t judge him too much but he was feeling a little better from opening up more. Fudge couldn’t recall if he’d ever told that to anybody before. He essentially lived in his office.

"And Al–… my, I suppose we’ll call him my ex, he didn’t physically hurt me although I’m surprised he didn’t try to, or hasn’t tried to considering how I behave around him now. It was more of a – you’re too concerned for how people perceive you, type thing. A ‘people have too much power over you because you let them’ thing – which I can’t even deny because look at the two of us.” Fudge pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. If Calleo could be so open about who he was sleeping with (at least with telling him who some of the people were), he supposed he could share his own. “Imagine what the Prophet would say if they found out that Albus Dumbledore broke the Minister’s heart?”

“I’m 52.” Fudge continued, glad to be changing the subject. “So it’s good to know I’m not the oldest person you’ll have been with.” Considering Percival Graves was a lot older than that. “And the last time someone touched me other than when they shook my hand was…” He let out a breath. “I can’t even remember.”

Cornelius moved closer to Calleo when he’s beckoned, and couldn’t help but smile at the idea of making his Muggle father turn in his grave. Forgetting about work would be a nice change too. 

“Yeah that sounds good.” And since Calleo had motioned for him to come closer, Cornelius decided to close the final gap between them by nervously pressing his lips against the other’s. He let out a shaky breath through his nose and placed a hand on Calleo’s shoulder to steady himself and tried to focus on the kissing and not the way his stomach was in knots or how his heart was thumping far too hard in his chest he could feel it in his ears. 

“I hope that was okay,” he mumbled shyly once he’d pulled away, suddenly feeling like a schoolboy again and not like he actually ran an entire wizarding community. Calleo had experience under his belt.

“Oh, I like this one,” Calleo tapped his neck, “rest of it was done with a lit cigarette; couldn’t really turn my head for a few days and found I definitely prefer healing magical burns to traditional ones.” Again, he didn’t elaborate on something that probably warranted a lot more elaboration.

“Your guess on that one is as good as mine as to why I’m not dead; luck, skill, or both and I’m not sure how. It’s a slow week if someone doesn’t take a shot at me in my office at least two or three times by Friday. Technically allowed to use lethal force in those situations but lethal force comes with an almost lethal amount of paperwork, and injuring them only has marginally less paperwork involved.”

“They all have dreadful aim too; you don’t aim at someone’s head if you’re trying to hit them, you aim at whichever part of them is widest, which is usually the shoulder or chest area. It’s not hard to tell where someone is aiming and to just–tilt your head to the opposite side.”

The way he spoke made it seem almost as if he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary about any part of what he’d just said. It simply was what it was.

“You know that’s not a problem if all of your clothes look the same, right? Though I suppose it matters less for someone who’s only ever really seen by the same four people on a daily basis than it does for someone that has to deal with the public all day. I think,” Calleo absently scratched the side of his head, “after the last two quit, and it was just me and the Director, and you know damn well he didn’t do a single thing that would have counted as actual work–meetings, he did meetings and not much else–when I did leave, I took work with me.”

“We were–to say we were behind would be an understatement. When I started in 1983, I think the department had a backlog dating to the mid-1950s, by 1990 we were up to 1981, and between 1990 and 1991 managed to get mostly caught up; that was all processing, for the most part, things that had been dragged in by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Now that we’ve been fully staffed with competent people for a few years, we stay caught up unless Law Enforcement drags their feet on bringing things down.”

“If I wasn’t working here, I was working at home. Or while out. Never really an issue until sometime in autumn 1991; details there aren’t all that relevant but I did cut my own hours and stopped taking so much work home with me as it wasn’t even necessary to do that anymore. That took care of a lot of near chaos on the personal side of my life, if nothing else, which let me put the professional one back in order. Stability is much nicer and less dull than I remember it being.”

Not many things sounded so bizarrely outlandish that they could stun Calleo into silence for more than a split second. What the Minister had just said did exactly that, however. Truthfully, the initial, “HA! What?” reaction had itself swiftly and harshly tempered by the second thought that crossed his mind: The Ministry, as far as Calleo could recall, either had generally positive relations with Hogwarts and its Headmaster or simply no interest at all, allowing him to run the school as he saw fit.

Until 1990.

When the man sitting across from him was put into the position of Minister for Magic.

Anyone who’d been keeping up with the more unpleasant side of Wizarding politics immediately (and gleefully) noted the shift in tone that began almost the same day Fudge’s administration took full control. Calleo had largely written it off as some sort of bizarre paranoia, likely being fed to him by those in the Ministry who had worked for the Still Officially Dead Dark Lord, but now–he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was simply being done out of personal spite and little more.

That sort of behaviour would have been ill-advised (not to mention petty) just in a general sense, but with things the way they were now it was less ill-advised and more incredibly, recklessly dangerous; something that ran the very real risk of handing the entire Ministry over to, if not Voldemort, at least people highly sympathetic to Voldemort just to be spiteful toward an ex.

Perhaps that was an unfair line of thinking to have, even if the most simple explanations are the most likely. Certainly made it seem like the Ministry’s shift in attitude wasn’t out of nowhere, though and even the implication that it might be true raised a whole hell of a lot of red flags.

“I’d imagine,” Calleo began slowly and evenly, giving no indication either way what he personally thought and sticking to the most likely outcomes to the invitation to imagine what the Prophet would do, “the gossip columns would, after they’d pieced themselves back together after exploding from sheer excitement, have some of their most memorable pieces written for weeks on end and I’d imagine the rest of the Prophet would depend on whose money is going where. With the way it stands now, it’d likely be twisted to make Professor Dumbledore look maliciously predatory, unstable, and dangerous and now they’d have what they could plaster all over the pages as concrete proof that he should be removed from his position as Headmaster at Hogwarts and possibly jailed.”

“And you’d have people in your ear telling you exactly what to say to which reporter for making sure the effectiveness of it was maximised and targeted as narrowly and specifically as possible, because he’s what they feel is the last obstacle keeping them from moving freely.”

“He’s not wrong, though. I doubt there’s anyone in the Department of Mysteries that hasn’t either seen Lucius Malfoy with his face in your ear–or heard of it spoken in that sort of smug, arrogant way you’d expect from people who were convinced they were lining everything up for an easy shot. Even that Undersecretary seems to have you an a pretty short leash. It’s less that you care too much about what people think of you, it’s that you’ve decided to focus on caring what the wrong sorts of people think of you.”

Calleo raised an eyebrow, giving the Minister a shrewd, calculating look. “I don’t think you should be doing what it is I suspect you’re doing and am also acutely aware that it may be far too late to stop it. He isn’t dangerous, he isn’t insane, and you know that.”

“HA!” That look all but evaporated with his oddly bird-like laugh, “But, there you go, it’s almost impossible for me not to talk about work; really, all I need to keep an eye on is making sure I don’t get some bizarre thing tacked onto my reputation along the lines of ‘picks up things Professor Dumbledore drops’. That’ll just get pretty weird pretty fast unless he just starts leaving interesting books laying around which would be entirely acceptable.”

“And it was about fifteen minutes ago on level six; do you want me to give your mind a quick once over?” There was, before Calleo realised that it had been a rhetorical question, a note of genuine concern. Some of what was on those levels could very easily pick through someone’s mind if not stopped and would be capable of causing temporary short term memory problems, after all.

“You’re not being graded, you know, or compared to anyone else,” He had, for a change, remembered to make sure what he was saying matched his tone, his expression and his overall body language; occasionally he’d leave one of those things out and come off a bit hostile instead of playfully chiding. “There aren’t N.E.W.T.s at the end. That’d be odd even for me.”

“I did tell you that I’d make you forget about work for awhile and I still intend to do that; I cannot, however, forget about the entire previous conversation. Fortunately for you, one of my many useful talents includes redirecting energy from where I don’t want it to where I do so–keep up, you’re only 52! If you’re lucky, you’ll forget how English works for awhile.”

A lit cigarette? Cornelius thought he had it bad with what happened to him, but it seemed that Calleo’s past wasn’t all sunshine and roses either. Cornelius didn’t want to press on to ask what happened; Calleo was a chatty man, if he wanted to disclose why or how that happened to him, then he surely would.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said on the matter. Sometimes Cornelius wondered why he wasn’t dead, either. There must be some people around that would like to see the Minister for Magic dead. That thought was a little horrific. “Well I’m glad you’re not dead.”

The words came out before he could stop it and they actually surprised him. When Cornelius first started bumping into Calleo (everywhere, it seemed), he couldn’t stand to be around him. But now here they were, and Fudge was actually opening up and being himself. It was all a little strange, and it was getting stranger when Calleo explained how hard he’d worked to get his department up to date.

Cornelius admired hard work.  When he was working on his campaign to become Minister, he’d work constantly to try and get people on his side. After that, there was a lot of cleaning up to do as it was the aftermath of the war. Now, Cornelius just found things to do to keep himself busy.

“I understand that.” He nodded. “Thank you, by the way, for putting so much effort into your job. I assume it probably goes unnoticed most of the time?”

The reaction he’d got from his confession made him flush – it was probably an unexpected name. “Yes, I know, I know it’s bizarre.” It certainly was considering what his relationship with Albus was like now; Cornelius could hardly stand to be in the same room as Albus Dumbledore. Everything Dumbledore did, he couldn’t stand and he knew that it was wrong to spend time deliberately trying to make his ex’s life miserable but it was only because Dumbledore had made his life miserable that he wanted to get back at him.

He nodded slowly, imagining it for himself. The ridicule he’d probably face from people, his peers, his colleagues… But Fudge did like the idea of Dumbledore being made out to be the bad guy in all of it. He still wasn’t going to tell anyone else.

“Oh, it’s not that bad.” Fudge gave Calleo a look with a raised eyebrow. Was it that bad? Cornelius liked to be told how great he was doing which was why he surrounded himself with people like that. He had an ego that needed stroking sometimes. “They’re just… doing their jobs.”

Cornelius knew that Calleo wouldn’t fall for that; he was far too smart. He figured everything out without Fudge even saying anything. “Nobody knows about me and Albus and I’d appreciate if you didn’t say anything… and I know what you think I’m doing.” He paused. “I know he’s not dangerous but he’s… not always the great man everyone makes him out to be, either. What he did was completely uncalled for and came out of nowhere.”

Cornelius really wanted to forget how English worked for a while, he couldn’t stop talking. So when they started to get down to it, he was thankful. And he did forget how to speak; the entire time, Fudge had been reduced to just making noises and he was thankful that they were so far away from everybody else because he’d been anything but quiet.

Afterwards, he stayed where he was, lying on the couch and looking up at the ceiling unsure what to even say or do. Everything was so much better now. Cornelius was in disbelief and shock.

“Well…” he started, really not sure what else he could say. There were no words, just a dumb, big smile on his face now that he’d been relieved of the tension that had built up inside him for years. Every part of his body that hadn’t been touched had been touched, and if he was murdered now, he’d die happy. “That was… different.”

Now it was his turn to uphold his end of their deal, and his first point of call after finishing with Calleo would be to go and speak to the Auror that was wasting so much of the Ministry’s time. Fudge felt like he had a whole new lease of life now and he knew that people would be suspicious as to why, but he didn’t care

[thisiscomics]

Just one example of the intense level of detail that Darrow brings to every panel in this series. The latest collection is slightly larger than the standard comic book format, which helps highlight some of the effort he puts in, and makes me wonder what Big Damn Hard Boiled brings to the table (apparently 40% bigger than publication size and with colouring and lettering removed, so just big B&W line art).

There’s definitely a lot to take in, and would benefit from being seen at original size (perhaps in the IDW Artist’s Edition format, or just in a gallery somewhere)- the crowd scenes in particular, where almost every character seems to have some distinctive characteristic or be involved in some activity that would keep you enthralled for quite some time, like some sort of modern day Bosch canvas. (Although putting it on display would probably draw attention from those that like to censor art as some of those activities are definitely carnal in nature...)

The plot is almost secondary to the visuals, and online reviews suggest a lot of people are either confused or unimpressed by the script. I would say it successfully provides a framework for the artist to excel, and it’s an interesting mash up of The Terminator and some of Philip K Dick’s paranoid visions of identities within identities, where neither reader nor protagonist is quite clear on what is real for most of the time. And as both of these inspirations are favourites of mine, I don’t really have any grounds for complaint here.

From Hard Boiled, by Frank Miller, Geoff Darrow & Dave Stewart

[thedemonsurfer]

Safe Mode “Request Review”

Okay so I learned two things today about Tumblr’s new ‘Censor Safe Mode” 

One, photosets are flagged by default. Yes, pictures uploaded to Tumblr through Tumblr’s own photoset feature are automatically flagged. Supposedly they’re working through this but who knows when/if it’ll be resolved. 

Now, under the FAQ for Sensitive Content is this bit: 

My post was marked as sensitive or my blog was marked as explicit by mistake! What do I do?

If your post was incorrectly flagged, you can navigate to the post in question while logged in and click or tap the “Request review” button to send a request for review.

Sounds easy, right? My post was indeed incorrectly flagged, so I want it reviewed and cleared. 

What we’re looking for is that little eyeball with NSFW beside it. [Screencap provided by a friend who has one of their own posts hidden from them] All we have to do is go to the post and we’ll be able to have it reviewed, right? 

Oh boy. Oooooh boy.

Well it’s not on my blog. 

Not on the post itself. That’s weird, that’s where it says you can find the link.

Not when I look under Posts.

Not on someone else’s blog.

Here. It’s here. 

On the Activity Page.

So! If your post has incorrectly been marked as sensitive content, bypass any logical locations and head to your Activity Page.

Once there, click on the thumbnail from a like or reblog to be taken to your post in that half-window blog view. 

 Could I have found this more easily from enabling Safe Mode? Possibly. Was I paranoid that once I turned Safe Mode on this broken shamble of a website would prevent me from being able to turn it back off? You bet your britches. 

I’m. I don’t know. 

[paranoidsbible]

Facebook: Precursor to Social Media Troubles

===Facebook: Precursor to Social Media Troubles=== Non-profit and free for redistribution Written on July 16th | 2017 Published on July 16th | 2017 For entertainment and research purposes only

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DISCLAIMER The Paranoid's Bible and its writers hold no responsibility for the acts of others. The Paranoid’s Bible is for research and entertainment purposes only. Please visit our blog for more PDFs and information: http://www.paranoidsbible.tumblr.com/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

====Preface==== The main purpose of this guide is to provide you, the reader, arguments as to why you should leave social media and networks, especially Facebook. The second purpose is to educate you about the dangers that social media and networks present as a whole, which ranges from governments and corporations modifying, twisting and overall polluting information. In order for us to do this, however, we’ll be borrowing heavily from Richard Stallman, Salim Virani and Vicki Boykis, who’ve already went above and beyond when doing their research and investigating these issues. While they may have mainly focuses upon Facebook, the truth is that what they have to say applies heavily to Web 2.0 and beyond with how the end user interacts with any services they sign up for, especially any that demand your information in order to create an account. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===The Claim=== Many people who try to research the malpractices of Facebook or other social networks are usually met with blogs, sketchy sites and MSM articles on the matter, most of which usually gloss over important details or dummy everything down to the point where it seems like it’d be okay to use social networks. However, if you’re lucky or did your search query correctly, you should come across two to three links, which we listed below. https://stallman.org/facebook.html https://stallman.org/facebook-presence.html http://www.salimvirani.com/facebook/ These links standout because they belong to two individuals who actually know what they’re talking about, both of whom know more than most when it comes to privacy. Richard Stallman and Salim Virani have written some thorough articles on the matter concerning privacy and social networking, which is which why we’re dedicating this chapter to their claim: Facebook is unsafe and violates your privacy. Following Stallman’s article, we see (some of) the reasons to not use Facebook as such: * Facebook requires your real name or a known alias to go by * They try to trip up their user’s into giving away info - http://www.digitaltrends.com/social-media/facebook-snitch-on-friends-that-arent-using-real-names/ * After the cross dresser incident, FB has changed their policy but not really - https://www.engadget.com/2015/06/25/women-lgbt-safety-facebook-policy/ * Blackmail is rampant on FB - http://lauren.vortex.com/archive/001133.html * Your profile will always end up in the public’s eye - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jun/29/facebook-privacy-secret-profile-exposed * FB has secret software that allows governments to censor - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/nov/23/facebook-secret-software-censor-user-posts-china * The infamous square boob incident - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/oct/20/facebook-bans-breast-cancer-video-square-breasts * FB is one of your larger purchasers of personal information - https://www.propublica.org/article/facebook-doesnt-tell-users-everything-it-really-knows-about-them * FB’s app spies on SMS messages - https://archive.is/f3uKM * FB tricks you into allowing other websites to make accounts in your name - http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/facebook-info-sharing-created-zoosk-com-dating-profile-for-married-woman-1.2844953 * FB loves to diagnose people - https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/01/facebook-target-mental-health-data-online It makes you addicted to their service - https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/the-secret-ways-social-media-is-built-for-addiction The above is just a sampling of what Stallman has dug up and found. The links and resources he has provided also go into greater detail on this disturbing trend of websites using their users. We encourage you to visit his links and read up on these issues, especially now that we’re going to discuss Virani’s claims. Virani’s claims, while quite similar to Stallman’s, came after he was concerned about his friends and family. Reading through this article you can see that Virani was not only a supporter of Facebook but also, to an extent, an advocate.  You can see he brings up some points that Stallman doesn’t, however both articles are a good resource. Virani’s claims are thus: * FB sells your likes - http://www.forbes.com/sites/anthonykosner/2013/01/21/facebook-is-recycling-your-likes-to-promote-stories-youve-never-seen-to-all-your-friends/ * FB loves to sneak things through - http://www.zdnet.com/article/is-facebook-damaging-your-reputation-with-sneaky-political-posts/ * They know what you’re reading - http://spectrum.ieee.org/podcast/telecom/internet/stalking-on-facebook-is-easier-than-you-think * Because of this, insurance companies love to mine your data - http://www.insure.com/car-insurance/social-media-future.html * Facebook delivers your info to the NSA - http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jun/06/us-tech-giants-nsa-data So, looking at a sampling of the two articles above, we already see that Facebook, as an example, represents the potential harm all social media networks can do to its users. While FB is more popular than most, we must assume that if it happens there it’ll happen elsewhere, ergo social media networks pose a harm to our privacy and security as individuals and potentially even activism. This means that it also has the potential to be used as a weapon to enforce societal contagions—memes—as a way to groom users and steer them toward Government or corporate approved behavior and trends. Moving onto the next chapter, we’ll present the information people have discovered that supports, at the very least, how Facebook (and possibly other social media sites) is a danger to its users. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===The Evidence=== Using the information found at https://veekaybee.github.io/facebook-is-collecting-this/  and https://labs.rs/en/ , we can further see that, in the end, FB has no real qualm about violating your rights and privacy. Looking at the article written by Vicki Boykis we can see what information is collected by FB, and in Vicki’s own words… “TL;DR: Facebook collects data about you in hundreds of ways, across numerous channels. It’s very hard to opt out, but by reading about what they collect, you can understand the risks of the platform and choose to be more restrictive with your Facebook usage.” Actually reading the article, we can see that any user entered data is collected and placed into their (FB’s) database through hundreds of various means, which show cases how FB works with big data. Hive, Hadoop, Hbase, Bigpipe, MySQL, Memcacher, Thrift and much more are used in various ways, all working to keep the house of cards that is Facebook propped up and running while housed in massive data centers located around the world, like the one in Prineville, Oregon. Caching, collecting and archiving your information and data, possibly passing it through a backroom server owned by the government or at the very least one of its agencies. It doesn’t stop there, either. Facebook is known for collecting your keystrokes and tracking your mouse’s movements, even using some of this data to conduct studies. This means everything is now potentially saved, even if you wanted it deleted. They keep track of things you edit and delete, the meta data and other items besides what you leave up and/or post. Again, this shows just a tiny bit of FB collects on you, especially how they can use this to possibly predict things you want to say or do, thus we end up in the realm of pre-activities. Pre-crime and similar notions from movies suddenly rear their ugly heads, showing you that possibly in the near future you could end up on a list just for something you didn’t say. They use all of this to make extrapolations about whom and what you are, what you do and how much time you spend on their site doing anything, regardless of what it is you’re doing. You’ll never not exist on Facebook if you made an account simply because they’ve traces of you everywhere, constantly being catalogued, cached and backed up somewhere for others to find. This is why FB and social media is dangerous in general—one database leak and some information you thought gone could resurface. Don’t believe us? Go and look here: https://www.facebook.com/help/302796099745838 Download your personal subset and see just what Facebook has on you, especially how they generated Ads they believe you’d be interested in. Pair this with what information you give them and combine it. See how disturbing it is with the general information you gave them to fill out your profile? See what they can deduce with such tiny bits of information? You’re marked by this beast now and if FB or any social network really wanted to, they can sell this information whenever they wanted to other companies. Not only does its employees have access to your private information (https://www.quora.com/Do-Mark-Zuckerberg-or-Facebook-employees-have-a-skeleton-key-granting-them-access-to-every-members-Facebook-profile-page-and-information) but you’re also a guinea pig to them, no better than a rodent to poke and prod for their own experiments. They don’t care about you, you’re just a human cattle to them for them to do with as they please. Again, don’t believe us? Checkout their research webpage (https://research.fb.com/). Noticed it?  “At Facebook, research permeates everything we do.” * They monitor your emotions - https://research.fb.com/support-when-you-re-feeling-blue/ * They manipulate your emotions - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jun/29/facebook-users-emotions-news-feeds * They want you to strap on the digital feed sack and never leave - http://newsroom.fb.com/news/2015/06/news-feed-fyi-taking-into-account-time-spent-on-stories/ You end up in a bubble, isolated from all other conflicting sources and opinions. You end up becoming trapped and only fed the things you like, which means you don’t get a healthy diet of information. They fatten you up on narratives they decide are good for you besides you clicking like or dislike. This means they can control the flow of information, making you a useful idiot for whatever side they support. They don’t want you free and thinking critically, they want you to do as they say. Now, before we spend too much time on the above article, we urge you to give it a read and look it over. Like the other articles we’ve mentioned, it goes into great detail about how much FB invades your personal life and wants to actively expose and track people wherever they are, especially if they can make a buck off that information. Moving onto the information from Labs.rs (https://labs.rs/en/category/facebook-research/), you’ll find their trilogy of articles. The first one you’ll find the most informative, especially the maps they’ve made. As you read their articles and look at the maps they’ve created, you soon realize just how far of a rabbit hole we’re digging into. The end result being: YOU’RE FACEBOOK’S PRODUCT While Facebook can claim they don’t sell your information, you can find numerous articles on the matter that they do, especially to advertisers. * FB sells your web browsing data - https://consumerist.com/2014/06/12/facebook-is-now-selling-your-web-browsing-data-to-advertisers/ * The price of free - http://www.pcworld.com/article/2986988/privacy/the-price-of-free-how-apple-facebook-microsoft-and-google-sell-you-to-advertisers.html Privacy has been privatized - http://www.businessinsider.com/facebook-google-information-nsa-iphone-android-data-personal-2016-2 This means that using FB or any social network is a move against your overall level of privacy and security. Add the fact that there’s no guarantee that Facebook or any social network isn’t manipulating your feed continuously, you soon can see what the potential scenarios that can happen. What is preventing someone from using social media to spread enough gloomy news and information to cause a massive wave of suicides? With people claiming teenage suicides are contagious (http://www.newsweek.com/2016/10/28/teen-suicide-contagious-colorado-springs-511365.html) and social media being a possible contributors (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_media_and_suicide) all it’d take is for the wrong person in control of the right website and then we begin to see why there needs to be more laws in favor of our privacy and security when it comes to these websites. ___References:___ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3477910/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===The Realization==== Social Media was believed to be, like the radio, a means to end miscommunication and bring about an era of information sharing the likes of which we’ve never seen before. However the sad truth is that it has become yet another tool for those in power to use against an unsuspecting populace. The US government being one of the bigger exploiters, especially the NSA, has worked with such infamous individuals like Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook) and their websites in order to aggregate information on as many users as possible. It’s nothing more than domestic  and foreign spying and one of the many reason why you, as an internet user, should abandon all forms of social networking (Facebook, Myspace, Twitter…ETC). This is because they're no more than breeding grounds for the cancerous tumors of surveillance and so-called legal operations meant to sniff out supposed terrorists that usually end up being some bullied kid in high school venting about jocks and cheerleaders. The Obama administration even acknowledges this much and admitted to wanting backdoors, but if that doesn’t bother you maybe the fact that many abusive individuals use apps and malware to track down their targets or partners will make you think twice about using Facebook and other social networking sites with such naivety. Social networks have become a vice, whether this was intentional or not is irrelevant, as it has shown to be as addictive as any drug. It also has even led to an increasingly common trend: FoMo; Literally the fear of missing out. These websites and their communities will continue to be a vice for our species until we can learn to properly use such social networks with moderation and with responsibility. ___References:___ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_missing_out http://www.nationaljournal.com/tech/the-nsa-is-using-facebook-to-hack-into-your-computer-20140312 http://www.globalresearch.ca/domestic-spying-and-social-media-google-facebook-back-doors-for-government-wiretaps/5334449 http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/25/spyware-smartphone-abusive-men-track-partners-domestic-violence http://www.casacolumbia.org/newsroom/press-releases/2011-national-teen-survey-finds https://theintercept.com/2014/07/14/manipulating-online-polls-ways-british-spies-seek-control-internet/ https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jul/14/gchq-tools-manipulate-online-information-leak ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===The Conclusion=== The real truth as to why you need to give up social media is because, if you truly want to fight the establishment or punch up, you need to disappear in order to be seen or heard. With all this information online being archived and housed in data centers where everything’s checked, marked and catalogued the only real way to get anything done is to scrub your digital footprint off of the internet and start looking into information security. While you can find most everything you need to do this over at the PB’s library (https://paranoidsbible.tumblr.com/library), you still won’t get far if you don’t cut ties with social media. If you want to be an activist or a spokesperson for some cause and/or oppressed people, it won’t work if all the establishment or your opponents have to do is a quick search query on any number of engines and bring up the fact that you said something that currently isn’t up to par with what society deems good or bad. Look toward China and their cyberpunk-ish dystopian point system (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Credit_System)  they want to put into place where everyone’s rated by social points that anyone can add or take away. This could be the future of the world, one day, if no one starts acting and working toward a revolution where our information is just that, our information. Not to be one of those people, however if you look at current pop-culture you’ll find an animated series from Japan called Psycho-Pass. It’s set in the future and an entire country is controlled by a system where right and wrong is decided solely by the system, which is almost freakishly close to what happening in today’s day and age. You’ve children now being watched by mega-corporations, where even their schools, parents and daily lives are also monitored. They begin to self-censor because they fear social-castration where they’re ostracized and their brand is meaningless and shunned by the other living-brands due to things said online, in private or caught by a passing smart phone and uploaded to social media. This creates a toxic environment where children (and everyone in general) is limited to the things and ideas they’re exposed to and exploring past what’s deemed appropriate is a sentence of living-death where no one wishes to interact with you lest they too are cast to the shadows for breaking protocol. You’ll soon begin to see people readily conditioned through fear of being an outcast, ergo no one will dissent, participate in activism, challenge the status quo our simply tell someone no. This means these same people will reproduce and their spawn will fall into the same spiraling  behavioral sink where you don’t want to speak against the state in fear of an arbitrary number being dropped, thus lowering your prospects in the future when you need a job or get married. Soon you’ll see critical thinking cast side all in favor marching to the same tune of whatever the deep state wants, which will all be due to people not revolting now and costing social media money VIA not participating in their schemes and deleting your accounts. You can stop future surveillance by dissenting right now and by isolating yourself from social networks and media, thus starting a trend where if enough people were to up and remove themselves from a site like Facebook you’ll see their bottom line falter. You can prevent people from being politically timid and docile like the voter-cattle the deep state wants, and all it takes is saying no to social media and networks. If you’re from the US or any Western country, you’ll see what made us special slowly erode due to activist judges and people too worried about hurting the feelings of others. Disregard the arbitrary numbers and mooing of those not currently in the know, as you can prevent things like the destruction of the Bill of Rights by not participating in the rat race of self-implication that’s social media. Why let corporations and political dictate your behavior? Why let them control the narrative and determine our cultural values? Don’t let them dictate your patterns of behavior or the behavior society as a whole with threats of a good-citizen-point.  This isn’t a Left or Right political issue, nor is it an issue about genetalia, men, women or chromosomes. This is an issue about privacy and freedom. This is an issue of rights. You’ve the powers-to-be working to use women against themselves, and the same with men and children and various racial groups. This will continue to snowball and force to reality a self-censored public if we don’t start making our voices heard through our actions. The more to submit and make accounts, the more that fall prey to the need for approval from internet strangers and the nanny-state the governments are forcing. Don’t believe the above? Then how about some more evidence and reasons as to why you need to leave your social media accounts VIA some links and discussion points below? * Many privacy advocates and various individuals agree, Facebook’s (and social media) a danger to our freedoms and rights. https://stallman.org/facebook.html |https://www.salimvirani.com/facebook/ | https://labs.rs/en/ | https://veekaybee.github.io/facebook-is-collecting-this/ * They’ve already started the narrative that if you aren’t on social media, or simply are introverted, you’re a potential problem. http://www.medicaldaily.com/your-social-media-presence-may-tell-whether-youre-narcissist-introvert-or-sociopath-270299 | http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/08/06/beware-tech-abandoners-people-without-facebook-accounts-are-suspicious/ * It’s comprised of nothing more than lies, deceit and overall manipulation for simple arbitrary and made up numbers that can hurt your self esteem and overall health. https://conversionxl.com/online-manipulation-all-the-ways-youre-currently-being-deceived/ | http://illusionofmore.com/social-media-manipulate/ | http://fortune.com/2015/12/30/social-media-emotions/ | https://www.independent.co.uk/student/istudents/filters-and-photo-manipulation-on-social-media-sites-are-creating-a-generation-of-deluded-a6852736.html * Again, it’s like a drug and can cause addiction. http://www.medicaldaily.com/facebook-addiction-activates-same-brain-areas-drugs-how-social-media-sites-hook-you-320252 * The astroturfing’s real and it’s aimed at women and young people. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astroturfing | http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/future_tense/2017/07/women_young_people_experience_the_chilling_effects_of_surveillance_at_higher.html * The people behind it, like Zuckerberg, are the closest things we’ve to Bond villains. https://boingboing.net/2015/05/21/mark-zuckerberg-just-dropped-a.html | http://www.staradvertiser.com/2017/01/18/business/facebooks-zuckerberg-sues-to-force-land-sales/ | https://trak-in.cdn.ampproject.org/c/trak.in/tags/business/2017/06/07/facebooks-evil-patents-discovered-your-emotions-may-soon-be-secretly-recorded-by-your-own-camera/amp/ | https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2017/02/the-mark-zuckerberg-manifesto-is-a-blueprint-for-destroying-journalism/517113/ | http://www.barstoolsports.com/dmv/mark-zuckerberg-confirmed-facebook-is-working-on-reading-your-mindtelepathy-and-the-details-are-wild/ * Deleting your social media outright lessens your chances of being doxed. * The government can legally access your profiles, accounts and information. http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-12-27/us-government-can-legally-access-your-facebook-data-and-now-we-know-how ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Afterword=== The arguments have been made a thousand times as to why social media and networking is a bad thing and no matter what we say or do, we can’t really rephrase it anymore. This is why we made this guide, to provide arguments and information as to why you should say goodbye to social networks and learn to live without them. They’re a tool to undermine any initiatives taken against censorship and oppression, as their main goals are to ultimately get people to self-incriminate.

[enby-hawke]

"#But know I have to start censoring myself a little #just so I they can't use my words to throw me away" I'm a little unclear on what you're actually talking about here, could you elaborate? I think I've missed some of your posts. Sorry!

Like. I know a lot of people are angry. But I have to keep myself from reblogging anti-nazi, anti-government, anti-Trump that is focused on resistive militancy because I do not want an open war. I am trying to avoid it. I’m sure if the appropriate parties were ready they would be here out in front but their silence tells me they need more time.

We are outgunned. Out sourced. We need more protections and fast. But we need to keep people thinking and moving. That is most important.

I will talk as long as I can but if you don’t see Trump or anti-nazi stuff or that, know it’s because I’m already doing more of a risk by warning you. I’m already paranoid that I’ve been a flag. That I’ve been saying this quietly enough for so long that they know. They know, and they can change the law to take me down so I’m being pre-emptive until they make that law retro-active to include all sympathizers.

Then I’ll go dark.

I need to focus on a message of keeping myself and others in an organized resistance effort to pressure our government into enforcing the checks and balance system that was ignored by everyone in the Republican party and not railed against harder by the Democrats.

Democrats and the white moderate is weak. They wait to act and when they do it is too late. But death on this scale could be unprecedented. 

You know how I feel. How I say it shouldn’t matter. I have to police it because my life is in danger and I am painfully aware of it. The least angry anons can do is not police how I word things about government and white people. 

Again by the stance I have so openly taken they know how I feel. They know what I’m capable of. They’ve seen my power thousands of times before me in the sacrifice that thousands of marginilzed people make to blend in just enough to dine with your enemy.

Because some of you might have to do that. And practice your smiles. And raise your arms in solidarity in openness of whiteness.

But I do not have that in me. So I will rail against the inaction whiteness’ own created problems until I am silenced. One way or another.

[kiddylanes]

How to think like a Child?

Picasso once said: "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after he grows up." He certainly had a point, and now researchers at North Dakota State University think they may have found an answer. Darya Zabelina and Michael Robinson, who carried out a US study into adult creativity have discovered that the more an adult act and thinks like a child, the more imaginative he or she becomes. "Thinking like a child is entirely possible for adults," says Robinson. "And we found that doing so is beneficial for certain types of creative activities."

While we're not suggesting you regress into making loud personal comments about people on the bus, or screaming when you want something, there are many things you can do to tap into your inner child. You could try not taking yourself too seriously, for one. Or be spontaneous, inquisitive and generally more chaotic. Or simply take life more slowly – enjoy a nice long bath instead of darting in and out of the shower. "It's all about finding anything we can do to relax ourselves," says chartered psychologist Mark Millard. "Most of the time most of us are too tight. We all need loosening up."

So if your creative impulses haven't dried up or been beaten out of you entirely, here's a handy guide to bringing out the best in yourself by behaving like a small child.

Lose your cool

Ever watched a child dance or sing? As the old adage by American author William Purkey goes: "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching ... sing like there's nobody listening." This is exactly how children do it. It may not be in time to the music, and it may not look cool, but it's as spontaneous and as free as it gets. "Children have an enormous capacity to be uninhibited," says chartered counselling psychologist Martin Lloyd-Elliott. "Adults always thrive when they have at least a few areas of their life in which they allow themselves to let go completely."

This is about more than just not taking ourselves too seriously, says Michael Dunn, senior lecturer in business psychology at the University of Derby. He cites new research done into the way the brains of jazz musicians work which suggests that lowering our barriers can be highly productive. "Scientists discovered that when jazz musicians improvise, their brains turn off areas linked to self-censoring and inhibition, and turn on those that let self-expression flow," he says. "And in doing this they are coming to the task more like a child would."

Have a bad idea

How many of us have sat around in meetings with a half-decent idea in our head, yet not spoken up because we're worried people will laugh? We've all learned through bitter experience that if you say the wrong thing or express a dodgy idea, then chances are you'll be ridiculed.

"Children are much less inhibited about saying the things that might not be right," says Dunn. "To be creative, what we are looking for is not one idea but dozens of ideas – some good, some average and some rubbish. We need to go through the wrong stuff to get to the right stuff. So no matter how wild and wacky an idea is, we need to learn to suspend judgement and get it to the table. Kids aren't bothered about doing that, they have no fear of saying what they think." In other words stop being so paranoid and speak up. As Einstein once said: "If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it."

Learn to dawdle

If you've ever tried to get a child to school in a hurry you'll know: short of dragging them down the street, it's impossible. They don't seem to have a speed setting other than extremely slow. Do as they do and drag your feet whenever possible, stop to gaze into any shop window you fancy and miss the crossing when the green man comes up. "Going for a walk, letting our minds wander and having a really good rummage around in our mind is a very good problem-solving technique," says chartered psychologist Mark Millard. "Don't go out with blinkers on. Walk around and see what captures your attention. It's a great way to help us bust out of our usual mindset." Which is common sense: it's about slowing down and giving ourselves more time to see things.

Be bored

Many of us can remember issuing that pitiful lament: "Mum! I'm bored." Well, these days we just don't say it enough. When we're not working, we're doing our chores, watching TV, or Facebooking our friends, we just don't allow ourselves any proper down time any more. The psychoanalyst Dr James Hollis says all of us should "create space to invoke possibility". But it seems we have forgotten how.

"We need to make time and space to daydream, to meditate, to let our minds wander – to allow ourselves to be bored," says Lloyd-Elliott. "Most people seem to be allergic to stillness and silence and dreaded boredom. They have to fiddle with their phones, games consoles and laptops rather than just be. Too much human doing and not enough human being. Children embrace dead space and time and fill it with imagination. The greatest creative ideas often emerge from the gloom of boredom."

Break the rules

We have all had it drummed into us that there is one correct answer to everything and it's wrong to make a mistake. Children have no idea about these rules; they are chaotic and willing to search for many different answers. "We all got educated into a fixed way of looking at the world," says Millard, "which is really very good if you are a banker an accountant or someone who drives a car. But it's definitely very unhelpful if you are faced with a problem where you need to be more imaginative." Dunn also believes we accept convention too readily. "My students, for example, sit in the same seat for class week after week, for no reason other than that's what they have always done," he says.

"Try folding your arms with the other arm on top – it feels wrong. Without making the effort to mentally suspend any rules or conventions, creative output will be limited. "Children don't know theories," he concludes. "Their brains are not conditioned. They haven't learned the shoulds and have-tos of the adult world. They don't know what's possible and what's not. How many adults would crawl around the floor trying to pick up a sunbeam?"

Get yourself a babysitter

Not literally of course, but putting someone else in charge, even if just for a little while, can be hugely beneficial. There's a phase in psychology known as "executive control", which is all about how we are driven by deadlines, chores, work or whatever else, which means our attention is narrowed and so therefore able to be less creative. "We believe," says Millard, "that if we don't attend to these pressing issues something dreadful is going to happen." When we are stressed we limit our focus and home in on the things that are troubling us. "We tend to ruminate and turn things over and over and over and get fixated, which is not very helpful if you are trying to come up with new ideas," Millard adds. So, try handing over the reins, let someone else take control and sit back and think of higher things.

Sit in the back seat of the car

Another way of relinquishing control. Aside from giving up all responsibility for map reading, CD-changing and arguing about directions, occupying the back seat gives you a different perspective on life – it's simply a way of looking at things from a new angle. "It's just about changing age-old habits and breaking out of routine," says Millard. "Occupying a different physical space does wonders to change your outlook." Strapped down like a child, you are pretty much powerless to do anything (even to get out if there are child locks), so you might as well relax and enjoy. There's no need to go as far as getting yourself a booster seat.

Get an imaginary friend

Bear with us here, it's not as crazy as it sounds. We're not suggesting you launch into elaborate role-play or incessant chatter to an invisible being, but visualisation exercises have long been a valuable tool for the psychologist.

"One technique that I often use is to get people to imagine that they are an adult holding the hand of a child who is frightened of the situation they are in. It enables them to see the situation more clearly," explains Dr Rachel Andrew, a chartered clinical psychologist.

I have a friend who, when faced with a tricky situation, always asks himself the question: what would David Bowie do? It isn't quite an imaginary friend, but it seems to work for him.

"What someone like this could provide for an adult is a sense of comfort, security, friendship and belonging," says Millard. "It could just be someone you can sound ideas off, or someone who pats you on the back and keeps you going, or who sees things in a slightly different way. Anything that encourages positivity or changes your perspective can be very helpful."

Just try not to chat to them too much while out you're in public 😊

Courtesy: Lena Corner, independent.co.uk

For more of such blogs/feeds, visit https://kiddylanes.com/blogs/news

Happy Shopping!

[benrleeusa]

[Eugene Volokh] Fifth Circuit Rejects Constitutional Challenges to "Campus Carry"

Texas, like some other states, allows law-abiding adults who have concealed carry licenses to carry at public universities as well as elsewhere; this was challenged on First Amendment, Second Amendment, and Equal Protection Clause grounds.

From yesterday's Fifth Circuit panel decision in Glass v. Paxton (curly braces used to mark moved text), written by Judge Leslie Southwick and joined by Judges Carolyn Dineen King and James Ho:

Three professors from the University of Texas at Austin challenged a Texas law permitting the concealed carry of handguns on campus and a corresponding University policy prohibiting professors from banning such weapons in their classrooms. The professors argued that the law and policy violate the First Amendment, Second Amendment, and Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. The district court dismissed the claims. We AFFIRM….

[I. First Amendment]

[Plaintiff Prof. Jennifer Glass] … argued her classroom speech would be "dampened to some degree by the fear" it could initiate gun violence in the class by students who have "one or more handguns hidden but at the ready if the gun owner is moved to anger and impulsive action." In an affidavit she expressed particular concern for "religiously conservative students [who] have extreme views," as well as "openly libertarian students," whom she "suspect[s] are more likely to own guns given their distaste for government." …

{In the context of the First Amendment, ... "government action that chills protected speech without prohibiting it can give rise to a constitutionally cognizable injury." Such governmental action may therefore "be subject to constitutional challenge even though it has only an indirect effect on the exercise of First Amendment rights." Laird v. Tatum (1972).} [But in such cases, plaintiffs must satisfy] the "requirement that 'threatened injury must be certainly impending.'" Clapper v. Amnesty International (2013)....

[Texas argues that Glass's claim is too speculative to give her standing, because it] rests on the assumption students with concealed-carry licenses, as independent decision-makers, are virtually certain to illegally use their firearms to intimidate, threaten, or commit violence in response to controversial classroom discussion. Glass argues that her fears are neither speculative nor subjective. She challenges the district court's conclusion that she failed to present concrete evidence to substantiate her fears about students.

First, she cites to a "broader community of views" which believes that the presence of guns in the classroom will chill professors' speech. This community of views includes multiple University faculty members and multiple national educational organizations.

Second, she cites to various academic studies discussing a so-called "weapons effect." According to Glass, "[t]hese studies conclude that the hidden presence of guns does threaten disruption of classroom activities, increases the likelihood that violence will erupt in the classroom, and intimidates non-carrying students — and undoubtedly professors, too."

The problem with Glass's argument is that none of the cited evidence alleges a certainty that a license-holder will illegally brandish a firearm in a classroom…. Glass objects to a plain application of the "certainly impending" standard from Amnesty International, arguing that it sets the bar impossibly high. Instead, she asks us to confer standing on the basis that her fears are "objectively understandable and reasonable." We cannot adopt this standard because it was already rejected in Amnesty International. There, the Court rejected the Second Circuit's holding that the plaintiffs had standing because their injury was not "fanciful, paranoid, or otherwise unreasonable." Such a standard, the Court held, "improperly waters down the fundamental requirements of Article III." Parties' "contention that they have standing because they incurred certain costs as a reasonable reaction to a risk of harm is unavailing — because the harm they seek to avoid is not certainly impending."

Contrary to Glass's argument, Amnesty International reiterated that standing is not impossible in every instance in which independent decisionmaking comes into play. An example of the Court's willingness to depart from its "usual reluctance" was Meese v. Keene (1987). In Keene, the plaintiff, a California State Senator, argued that the Department of Justice's decision to label three films as "political propaganda" violated the First Amendment. Under the Foreign Agents Registration Act of 1938, the Department of Justice labeled three Canadian documentaries as "political propaganda" because they could be "reasonably adapted" to "influence the foreign policies of the United States." In order to exhibit the films in public, the State Senator was required to provide a copy of the material to the Attorney General along with a report "describing the extent of the dissemination." Id. In addition, he was required to disclose that by showing the films, he was acting as the agent of a foreign principal.

The Court began by noting that "[i]f Keene had merely alleged that the appellation deterred him by exercising a chilling effect on the exercise of his First Amendment rights, he would not have standing to seek its invalidation." Instead, Keene alleged that the future reputational harm prompting his self-censorship was certain, and not merely possible. In support, he provided detailed affidavits citing public opinion polls showing that approximately one in two voters would be less inclined to vote for a candidate who showed a foreign film labeled as political propaganda by the Department of Justice.

Glass analogizes to Keene by arguing that the same rationale confers standing here. She misreads Keene. Although Keene's allegation of harm involved the contingency of individual voter decisions, he nonetheless alleged certainty about voter decision-making based on supporting affidavits and opinion polling. Indeed, he alleged that "if he were to exhibit the films while they bore such characterization, his personal, political, and professional reputation would suffer and his ability to obtain re-election and to practice his profession would be impaired." By contrast, Glass alleges reasonable probability of future harm from concealed-carrying students. According to her, she is "faced with the knowledge that there is a reasonable probability that sitting at one of the desks in [her] enclosed classroom is a young student" who believes that a "gun can be used when the appropriate circumstances present themselves."

Glass further argues that a denial of standing would improperly fail to construe the factual allegations of her complaint in her favor. Her argument is misplaced for the same reason that Keene is distinguishable. The issue here does not concern the weight given to her factual allegations, but rather the absence of any allegation of certainty about the students' future decisions. Keene alleged certainty about the voters' future decisions based on polling, which empowered him to allege certainty about future reputational harm. Construing the factual allegations of Glass's complaint in her favor, she nonetheless fails to allege what is required under Amnesty International. The requirement is that harm from concealed-carrying students be certainly impending.

The same concerns fueling the Court's "usual reluctance" in Amnesty International are present here. Although Glass's claim centers on the First Amendment, her standing arguments invoke notable separation of powers concerns. By adjudicating claims for which the alleged harm is not certainly impending, federal courts risk disregarding their constitutional mandate to limit their jurisdiction to actual cases and controversies and thereby avoid the issuance of advisory opinions.

Glass cannot manufacture standing by self-censoring her speech based on what she alleges to be a reasonable probability that concealed-carry license holders will intimidate professors and students in the classroom. The district court did not err. Glass lacks standing to bring her First Amendment claim.

[II. Second Amendment]

Glass argues that the Campus Carry Law and University policy violate the Second Amendment because firearm usage in her presence is not sufficiently "well regulated." The Second Amendment states: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." U.S. Const. amend. II. The Supreme Court held that the Second Amendment "guarantee[s] the individual right to possess and carry weapons in case of confrontation." District of Columbia v. Heller (2008). The Court also held that "individual self-defense is 'the central component' of the Second Amendment right." McDonald v. City of Chicago (2010).

Glass contends that to the extent the Second Amendment recognizes an individual right to carry firearms, persons not carrying arms have a right to the practice being well-regulated. Glass's argument collapses the distinction between the Amendment's two clauses: the militia-focused prefatory clause and the operative clause. In Heller, the Court relied on text, history, and tradition to interpret the prefatory clause as "announc[ing] the purpose for which the right was codified: to prevent elimination of the militia." Notwithstanding this distinction, Glass advocates an "independent meaning" of the prefatory clause which recognizes "a constitutional right not to have the government force [individuals] into allowing guns in their professional presence as a condition of public employment unless gun possession and use are 'well-regulated.'" "Like it or not," Glass argues, "there is specific constitutional language that premises the right, whatever its extent, on the use of guns [as] 'well-regulated.'" She argues that the prefatory clause places a "condition" on the individual right.

Her "admittedly fresh" take on the Second Amendment therefore turns on the proper interpretation of the Amendment's prefatory clause. In support, Glass cites to a line in Heller where the Court interpreted "well-regulated" as "the imposition of proper discipline and training." She further relies on one of our opinions where we stated that "gun use and gun control have been inextricably intertwined" such that "an expectation of sensible gun safety regulation was woven into the tapestry of the [Second Amendment] guarantee."

Glass's argument is foreclosed by Heller. In two separate locations in the majority opinion, the Court held that the Second Amendment's prefatory clause does not limit its operative clause: "The [prefatory clause] does not limit the [operative clause] grammatically, but rather announces a purpose." Indeed, the "prefatory clause does not limit or expand the scope of the operative clause." The Amendment's first clause "is prefatory and not a limitation on the amendment itself." Because the operative clause provides the codification of the individual right, the prefatory clause cannot "limit or expand the scope" of the individual right.

The prefatory clause does not limit the scope of the individual right codified in the operative clause. She has failed to state a claim under the Second Amendment.

[III. Equal Protection Clause]

Finally, Glass argues that the Campus Carry Law and University policy violate her right to equal protection under the Fourteenth Amendment because the University lacks a rational basis for determining where students can or cannot concealed-carry handguns on campus…. The parties do not dispute that rational basis review applies because the professors are not members of a protected class nor does the alleged classification infringe a fundamental constitutional right. Under this standard, a legislative classification "must be upheld against equal protection challenge if there is any reasonably conceivable state of facts that could provide a rational basis for the classification." Parties attacking the presumption of validity extended to legislative classifications "have the burden 'to negative every conceivable basis which might support it.'" …

[Glass] argues that there is no rational basis for Texas to allow private universities to ban concealed carry but not public universities. In addition, she argues that there is no rational basis for the University to allow concealed carry in classrooms while simultaneously prohibiting the practice in other campus locations such as faculty offices, research laboratories, and residence halls.

Texas argues that simple explanations provide the needed rational basis. First, the Campus Carry Law distinguishes between public and private universities in order to respect the property rights of private universities. Second, public safety and self-defense cannot be achieved if concealed carry is banned in classrooms because attending class is a core reason for students to travel to campus. Texas argues that public safety and self-defense can still be achieved if concealed carry is banned in less-frequented areas such as faculty offices and research laboratories.

I think the result is right, but I think Glass should have lost even if the Court had held that she had standing to bring her challenge: There is just no First Amendment right to whatever crime prevention techniques a judge can find to be valuable for protecting speakers.

There is a First Amendment right not to be stripped of normal protections because of what you say, or even because you are a speaker: If the government were to, for instance, refuse to provide police protection to certain kinds of political rallies, that would be unconstitutional. But here there is a broadly applicable, speech-neutral rule -- concealed carry licenseholders may carry in a vast range of public places. It's up to the legislature to decide which forms of crime control (ones consistent with the Second and Fourth and other Amendments, of course) best prevent crime at the optimal cost, and courts can't second-guess that just because some speakers complain that these general rules aren't sufficiently protective.

Here's a simple analogy: Say that courts say that the government many search the bags of everyone going to an event on university property, without violating the Fourth Amendment. (Let's set aside here whether or not that's the correct reading of the Fourth Amendment.) But say that a university concludes that this unduly interferes with people's privacy rights, and chooses not to allow such searches at any places that are open to the public -- football games, cafeterias, or auditoriums. One can debate whether or not that is a good policy, and properly balances the costs and benefits (financial and otherwise). But a court can't strike it down, and order the government to perform searches, simply because it agrees that the policy puts some speakers at risk and thus deters their speech (since then some attendees could bring weapons to a speech and use them against the speaker).

As to the Second Amendment, even if you think the Amendment's prefatory clause should in some measure influence the scope of "the right of the people to keep and bear arms," that would at most mean that the government may impose certain extra gun controls that wouldn't have been allowed absent the prefatory clause. It doesn't mean that the government must impose particular gun controls.

[paranoidsbible]

Steam and You

===Steam and You===   Non-profit and free for redistribution Written on May 15th | 2017 Published on May 15th | 2017   For entertainment and research purposes only  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   ===DISCLAIMER=== The Paranoid's Bible and its writers hold no responsibility for the acts of others.   The Paranoid’s Bible is for research and entertainment purposes only.   Please visit our blog for more guides and information: https://www.paranoidsbible.tumblr.com/   +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   ===Preface=== Steam’s a digital distribution platform that offers DRM services, among other things. Most notable for being run by Valve, Steam has enjoyed a near competition-free run that has cornered the market, which has also made it a target for malicious groups and individuals who want to either test their mettle against the service’s security or for monetary gain. Outside of the usual remarks, one of the biggest issues with Steam, the developers and studios that use it is the fact that it’s quite unfriendly when it comes to the consumer. This is a complaint mostly from those who promote the Free (as in freedom) Software movement and wish for greater rights for end user. At any given moment, Steam, a developer and/or studio can revoke your claim to a game that you bought, lock you out of your account or outright ban you from the community, market and service as a whole due to anything from the obvious, like a TOS violation to the unfathomable like someone getting a report brigade rolling against you. This is what the guide wishes to address, a few simple gaps to fill in and some precautions to take. We’ll give some loose suggestions on what you need to do in order to secure your Steam account and ensure it’s not going to be targeted anytime soon, or accused of anything that you didn’t do or say. ___References:___ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steam_(software) http://store.steampowered.com/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Programs You’ll Need=== While there exists a multitude of 3rd party programs, most are either malicious or poorly coded and promise too much to the user. The programs that we’ll recommend are useful, have been used by the PB staff, and are good to have on hand for certain tasks. ***Remember:*** Read each program’s instructions, TOS and whatever documentation is included. That should, hopefully, prevent you from royally screwing up your Steam account. ---Depressurizer--- Depressurizer is a Steam library organizer. While its original creator is inactive, there exists a currently active updated fork.  You can find the official group and current fork at the below links. Steam Group: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/depressurizer Fork: https://github.com/Theo47/depressurizer ---Idle Master--- Steam introduced trading cards, which you can buy, sell and trade in order to make some micro-transactions and craft badges, wallpapers and emoticons. While ultimately useless, it is something that nags at the back of many users’ minds due to the simple fact that there are free items that they’ve been promised. While its creator got upset over Steam’s community market restrictions, it does get the rare update here and there. You might find it useful to pop on while sleep or doing yard work, however ***remember:*** Do not run this program while playing a game or using a VAC enabled/protected server. You’ll want to be completely inactive on Steam when using this program as it’ll “idle” your games, without installing them, to farm your cards. Steam Group: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/idlemastery Website: http://www.steamidlemaster.com/ ---Steam Achievement Manager (SAM)--- As the name implies, achievements without the work. While this will send many achievement hunters into a lunatic frenzy of screams and unrivaled fits, Steam doesn’t give two shakes of a lamb’s tail when it comes to this program. As long as you don’t play any games and are inactive when you run it, you should, in theory, be fine. Check the documentation; avoid games that give you items when you hit specific achievements. Website: http://gib.me/sam/ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Some Suggestions=== Consider this chapter just a bit of a refresher course on some things you should do or know by now. 1. Use a unique and strong password. This means you need to use a password 8 to 16 characters long, not used anywhere else for any other accounts, and should be made up of random characters ranging from uppercase (ABC); lowercase (abc); numbers (123); special characters and punctuation marks (?!*$&). 2. Use a common but unique username/profile name (for you) not used anywhere else for any other accounts (that you own). Think of something commonly used, like Cookielover, add a number to it and be done with it. Don’t use this username anywhere else for any other accounts. 3. Don’t add people at random, think carefully. They’re strangers, on the internet. You don’t need to add them because they requested to be your friend or gave you a compliment. You need to be more stringent who you add and associate with online. Take your time; don’t feel rushed to add people because you believe that you need friends in a community. 4. Don’t give Steam any more information than needed; ignore the urge to enter a debit card or credit card number. Look toward purchasing gift cards instead, this lessens the information that you give to Steam (and Valve) besides lessening any harm that can befall you during a leak or database dump that stems from Steam. 5. Don’t get caught up in scams or phishing attempts, avoid clicking on strange profiles and/or links. Steam’s always finding exploits or holes that can be abused, so avoid going to strange profiles and clicking on odd links. By not clicking on anyone’s links or the links sent to your account, you can prevent the majority of so called hack attempts. 6. Avoid using logging into sites, with your Steam credentials, that aren’t owned or verified by Steam/Valve. This is to lessen the chances of your information being stolen. 7. Don’t leave reviews, unless you really need to bring attention to something. This isn’t meant to censor or stop anyone from leaving a review, however leaving reviews can lead to some meta-data being leaked that several websites to can archive and scrape, thus helping increase your digital footprint. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Securing Your Account=== This chapter’s simply to recommend some settings that’ll help ensure your account is at its optimum and is set to help give you a little more security and peace of mind. Understand these are loose suggestions and won’t work for everyone, depending on how they wish to use Steam. Log into Steam and navigate to the dropdown menu labeled Steam. Once you click that, go to settings and follow the below for some suggestions on what to do. > Steam > Settings > Account This should help you alleviate some potential attempts on your account and help bolster its security a bit more than the average user. Please note that by participating in Steam’s whole mobile app/mobile authenticator setup, you’re giving them even more information than they need which is frowned upon by a lot of privacy enthusiasts, however if you feel safer with it, then it’s your choice. * Click “Manage Steam Guard Account Security…” * Wait for Steam to take you to the appropriate page * Ensure Steam Guard’s enabled * Choose the “Get Steam Guard codes by email” * Avoid giving Steam anymore info than required, hence avoiding the use of the Steam app/mobile authenticator * Click the “Deauthorize all other devices” button (Do this at least once a week) > Steam > Settings > Account Just to help prevent any hiccups from beta and anyone from using your account if they steal your rig or devices. * Don’t signup for Beta, regardless of anything they offer in exchange * Check/enable “Don’t save account credentials on this computer” (only if you don’t trust the rig that you’re using) > Steam > Settings > Friends Honestly, the whole community/friend finder aspect of Steam is quite annoying and can leave you open to more harm than good. While it may just be a paranoid’s bias, we recommend keeping your account in invisible/offline mode so people won’t pester you if you logged on and just want to relaxed. *Disable/uncheck “Automatically sign into Friends when I start Steam” *Disable/uncheck “Display timestamps in chat log” *Disable/uncheck “Always open a new chat window rather than a tab” *Enable/check “Display a notification” x 4 *Enable/check “Play a sound” x 4 *Enable/check “Always” > Steam > Settings > Family Avoid this as family sharing/linking can potentially lead to complications and abuse. If you have a spouse or a younger sibling, then let them use your rig to play a game or whatever. Convenience  isn’t always practical when it comes to security and privacy. *Disable/uncheck “Authorize Library Sharing on this computer” > Steam > Settings > In-Game This is more of a user’s choice than anything; however we do recommend disabling the Steam overlay as it has been known to not play nice with older games. > Steam > Settings > In-Home Streaming Again, user’s choice, however you should keep “Enable streaming” disabled at all times until you wish to use it. > Steam > Settings > Interface User’s choice however set the “Favorite window” dropdown to “Library” to be on the safe side in case of any Store page issues. > Steam > Settings > Downloads User’s choice, but we do recommend that you hit the “Clear Download Cache” once a month as some people have, while not even downloading anything, witness it improve their speeds. Some have reported this as useful while others have found it to do nothing. > Steam > Settings > Cloud Just avoid cloud on Steam, mostly out of privacy concern than anything. You’ll want to disable the two options on there and just move on. If you’re so concerned with save files, then purchase a USB and make your own backups. > Steam > Settings > Voice User’s choice but use “Push-to-talk” to be on the safe side and prevent any accidental conversation leaks or things you don’t want people to hear. > Steam > Settings > Music User’s choice, nothing else to add… > Steam > Settings > Broadcasting Avoid it at all costs, privacy concerns and what not. > Steam > Settings > Web Browser Excessive amounts of junk data can build up if this isn’t cleaned at least once a week. Hit the two buttons listed there to clean cache and cookies. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ === Making Your Profile Private=== This chapter’s more or less about locking your account down and preventing people from viewing it, spamming it or anything in that category. This is doubly plus good as you’ll avoid Google and other search engines from hoarding and making caches of your account and its history, among other things. > Click username > Profile > Edit Profile Starting from the top and working our way down, locate your “Profile Name”. Seeing as Steam keeps a running log of your past names, it might be useful to clear your past names in case you want to hide from people who’ve been bothering you or just want a clean dropdown. First you’ll want to go to this link: https://pastebin.com/sdGXj9sC Copy the character between the brackets (it looks like a space but isn’t). You’ll want to do this about 10 times, adding an extra character (1 character, then 2 characters and so on) per entry/save until your dropdown of past usernames is blank. You can then set it back to whatever profile name you wish to use, however remember Steam gets iffy about you changing your username too much, so do this every two to three minutes. While time consuming, it’ll prevent them from screaming at you and preventing you from changing your profile name. Avoid putting anything down in the “Real name” field and your avatar can be whatever you want but don’t use anything you’ve used on other sites. Avoid displaying your country and set your custom profile URL to something random, like a string of numbers and letters. Don’t connect your account to Facebook and avoid featuring anything on your profile, like badges, a summary or anything like that. You want it to be basically empty outside a few minor details, like the profile name (Don’t use any usernames you’ve used elsewhere) and avatar. > Click username > Profile > Edit Profile > My Privacy Settings You’ll want everything to be set to friends only or private and ensure you’ve checked/enabled “Keep your Steam Gift inventory private…” Finally, open up Steam Achievement Manager and look for four games in a row with randomized looking characters that look similar to a D with a strike through it. They all should have "Player" at the end of their names and one should have (1979). Two of them should also have the numbers 2 and 3 in them individually. Click each of these games, one by one until all four windows are open. Once open, exit out of them and close the program down. You'll notice your "Recent Activity" has been cleared. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ===Afterword=== Not much can be done with Steam and securing your privacy, and outside of the obvious and previously stated tactics above… it’s a losing battle. All you can really do is lessen what information you give to Steam and Valve while trying to enjoy their service. Outside of that, ensure you don’t give them your Social Security Number and just do without those extra few bucks from card or item sales. You can always get the game (on sale) at a later date, however if you want some DRM free games that you can backup on an external drive or a USB then look toward Good Old Games (https://www.gog.com/). GOG is already introducing their own Steam-like program, besides working with publishers to introduce a feature that allows you to connect your Steam account and receive games you already own. You’ll most likely end up using both GOG and Steam anyways, so you might as well create an account and see what games you can claim there and vice versa. ___References:___ https://www.gog.com/reclaim https://www.gog.com/connect