#Paracetamol has to do in those situations

[crowley1990]

It worries me slightly because ibuprofen is harsh on your stomach but I just have a rule to never take it on an empty stomach. Which sucks in the morning because it means I have to last like two hours with no painkillers and no food when I get up.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Hi! I’m not sure if this has been requested before but I’ve been working nonstop lately. I’m completely worn out and desperate for a day off. So, I was wondering how you think tangerine would react to this sort of situation with his gf/wife/partner- being very overworked, exhausted, tense, stressed, anxious? In need of some comfort, fluff, love and reassurance. -🤍

Thank you so much, I love you!!

hii!! im pretty sure it has, but that’s no problem. make sure to take care of yourself angel, really sorry you’re so tired, hopefully this can be of some comfort. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌 I love you and hope you’re doing as well as you can be xx

ignore kimura’s hand 😭 the pic is just really hot

TAKE A BREAK.

tangerine x fem!reader — fluff & comfort

word count. 637

Tangerine had noticed a change within you recently. Though it wasn't hard, anyone could.

He could see it in your eyes, the exuberant shine almost fading with every one of your early starts and late finishes. And those tired, half-smiles you'd give him when he questions it only prove his point more.

He knew you were under a lot of stress lately, everything in your life catching up with you, and all he wanted was to help you. Even if it was carrying your weight on his shoulders for a few minutes - anything just to give you a moment of ease.  

It had gone past midnight, but you were nowhere close to finishing the massive assigned workload. The dining table filled with stacks of your papers, the surface repurposed as an office desk once again. By now, the words on the page were far from legible, the lines blurring and swirling together as you pushed through the last section.

"I don't get it," you mutter to yourself, dropping your head into your hands. 

"What don't you get?" Tangerine asks, appearing in the doorway as if he were a genie.

"I don't know," you mumble, rubbing your face in your palms. "All of it... it doesn't make sense— none of it does. And I've been reading it over and over and," you cut yourself off with a sigh, looking over the array of papers in front of you. 

"Come on, now," he hushes, moving across the room to stand in front of you. "You're knackered. You need good sleep," he adds, placing his hands on either side of your head, making you face him. 

"I can't. I have so much to do," you faintly exhale - the sound weary and worn down. 

His thumbs glide under your eyes, the pads running over the dark circles and tired skin - the act as if he were trying to soothe you. "I'll help you out in the morning, alright? But not now. You need'a sleep."

"I can't," you softly shake your head, his hands moving with the faint movement. "I can't sleep knowing how much work I have."

He sighs, his head cocking to the side to maintain the eye contact you were so desperate to get out of. "When you hurt, I hurt. And you're hurting a lot right now, aren't'ya?"

The lack of response from you, silently answers his question. 

"That's what I thought," he says, leaning over to press a kiss into your hairline. "I'll lock up. You go get ready for bed, yeah?" he laces his hands into yours, helping you from the seat. "I'll follow up in a minute."

You do as asked and get ready for bed, continuing the rest of your routine from a couple hours before - brushing your teeth and peeing, changing back into pyjamas. You get into your side of the bed, the comfort almost immediately soothing the aches in your body.

As promised, Tangerine follows closely behind, entering the bedroom with a glass of water in one hand and a pack of paracetamol in the other. He makes his way around the bed to your side, setting the glass and painkillers on your nightstand.

He gets in bed from his side, slipping under the covers, his arms instinctively reaching for you under them. He pulls you towards him, holding you tight. 

"Can you give me food poisoning tomorrow?" you attempt a joke, burying your face into his chest. 

"I'd rather throw myself down the stairs and break my legs and then sit in A&E all night so you could get the day off," he whispers, stroking over the back of your head.

"Might try that myself."

He presses a kiss into your cheek, tucking your face back into the comfort of his chest. "Enough now, get some sleep."

[burninglights]

seeing some of you getting snotty about people not having first aid kits & first aid training without advising people on what they should have/what they should know is doing my nut in. without further ado:

First Aid Kits (what should be in yours)

If you’re going to uni/moving out of home, you really ought to have a first aid kit. Small first aid kits are fairly inexpensive and come with basic first aid supplies.

Included in my first aid kit is:

1 card of paracetamol tablets

1 card of ibuprofen tablets

A length of gauze bandage

1 tube of topical antiseptic (I use Savlon or Germolene)

1 tube arnica/bruise cream

30x plasters, assorted sizes

5x long strip plasters

10x antiseptic wipes

3x individually sealed small sterile gauze pads (7cm x 7.5cm)

4 sterile small adhesive dressings (7cm x 5.3cm)

it’s a good idea to also have an emergency card in your first aid kit, with the contact details for your next of kin and any health conditions written on it. They usually come as part of first aid kits anyway, and have a little clear plastic pocket to keep them in.

Also, remember to replenish whatever you use from your kit, and to keep an eye on expiration dates of medications/ointments.

Medication management

If you’re on medication long term (antipsychotics, antidepressants, statins, anticonvulsants, immunosuppressants, insulin etc.) you should have a two week overlap period; where possible, you should order a refill of your medication two weeks before your current supply runs out, so that if there are supply issues, you’re not going to be left hanging.

I’m aware this might not be possible for Americans owing to insurance and reassessment (I’m UK based, and just have to refill by filling out a form available in my GP’s office) and for those on controlled medications (opiates, methadone treatment for addiction, ADHD meds etc).

If you have medication that only requires use in emergent circumstances (ie. an EpiPen or an asthma inhaler), keep track of the expiration dates, and order a refill of your medication ahead of time. Better to have an extra inhaler knocking about for a couple of weeks than to really need one and not have it.

First Aid for Dummies & How to Get First Aid Training

Aif you’re ‘fresh out the womb’ new to first aid, or live somewhere where medical care is inaccessible, I highly recommend Where There Is No Doctor by David Werner and Carol Thuman, which gives step by step guides from scratches, scrapes and rashes up to emergent wound care. It’s not an exaggeration to say that that book kept me and my siblings alive for the first few years of our existencewhen we lived on the edge of the Kalahari 120 miles from the nearest hospital.

few bits and pieces of first aid I’ve picked up, both from training and being the world’s clumsiest son of a bitch:

Z-wrapping for wrists and ankles, especially if you’re prone to sprains. I don’t know how to explain this in a coherent way, so I’ve linked a video of how to do it.

For deep cuts or wounds that bleed a lot, you need to apply pressure and elevate the injury above the heart. It takes a nearly comically small amount of blood loss to become life threatening (blood loss equivalent to half a coke can is considered life threatening in adults) - if the blood is bright red, spurting/gushing, and the blood loss is uncontrolled, or if you have a clotting condition like haemophilia, you need to get to an urgent care centre yesterday. Call 999/911, maintain hard pressure over the wound, and keep the person calm and talking.

If someone has been stabbed an the knife is still in situ, for the love of God do not pull out the knife, or let them pull out the knife. It’s impossible to know what’s been hit without imaging, the knife acts as a seal in the wound; haemorrhage or massive internal injury are not situations you want to be dealing with outside of an acute trauma care setting. Call 999/911 immediately, and keep the injured person calm.

Learn how to recognise the signs of overdose. I went to a Midlands uni that had a reputation as a party uni, and hearing through the grapevine about ODs on nights out wasn’t uncommon. Narcan/Naloxone is a controlled substance in the UK so can’t be bought OTC, but I know it’s available to buy OTC in some parts of America and Canada. If you can, please consider carrying naloxone. If you witness an OD, call 999/911 immediately, and try to keep the person alert. If you have it, administer Narcan.

Don’t fuck with sepsis or meningitis. These diseases move fast, and can turn you into a past participle in as little as 12 hours. Get your MenACWY vaccine, know the symptoms, and call 999/911 immediately if you have the symptoms, especially if there’s been an outbreak in your area or you’ve had close contact with someone who is infected.

If you get bitten by a wild animal, (fox, bat, dog, raccoon…whatever) flushing the wound with water and then getting to A&E needs to become your number one priority. Tetanus, rabies and capnocytophaga infection are no joke: you need boosters/antibodies and antibiotics as a matter of urgency.

Finally, don’t be a hero. You are not John Wick. If someone is injured in an actively dangerous location or situation, the only thing you ought to do is call 999.

You really and truly don’t need to be able to pull a Hawkeye Pierce; the whole point of first aid is that it’s the first line of aid, and gets you to A&E or Minor Injuries so that you can receive professional medical attention.

That said, having a first aid training is incredibly valuable, both because you never know when some fuck shit is about to happen, and because by law most workplaces are supposed to have at least one first aider on staff, so it gives your CV an edge.

In the UK, the St. John Ambulance Trust offers workplace first aid certification, annual refreshers, sports first aid training, AED use & CPR certification and mental health first aid training.

You can also get personal first aid training for adults, children and babies with the British Red Cross for the cost of £37.50, as well as certified workplace first aid certification from £165.

The British Heart Foundation offer CPR training for free via their RevivR program; it takes 15 minutes, and can be used for workplace certification.

[toomuchracket]

omg can we have you looking after flatmate matty when he’s sick?? maybe bringing him cold medicine and helping him shower and giving lots of extra cuddles🥺

so its like mid-morning you're like up and dotting around the flat and you're kind of concerned because matty still isn't up yet (this is before you're together btw). like you know he wakes up later the night after a show but this is pushing it. and you're hesitant to go into his room in case there's someone with him, but every time you've gone past it's either been him snoring or just total silence, so you figure he's alone. you knock and open the door slightly, and poke your head round to see matty wrapped in the duvet SHIVERING despite the heating being on. you go over and he's like "babe i really really don't feel well" and his voice is all scratchy, and he's SWEATING. and you feel his forehead and he's burning up so you get him up and like manoeuvre him into the bathroom (he's so weak he can't stand by himself) to the shower to try and shift his fever. and even ill matty's still joking like "you know, i didn't picture this being the scenario in which we first showered together, but ok" and you pointedly ignore the fact he's just admitted to thinking about you and him in the shower together and just try and get him undressed in the most dignified way you can. and you're like "if you can face away from me i can hold you up without you having to compromise your modesty. i'll have to see your bare arse but that's nothing new" and matty's like "annoying that you've seen my bum and i haven't seen yours" and you're like "stop thinking about me naked and focus on feeling better" and he's like "those two things correlate it's fine" and you're like "jesus christ" but internally you're all !!!!!!! and the heat of the shower seems to soften the congestion in his chest so he's coughing this like awful awful cough and all you can really do is rub his back while holding him upright and doing your best not to look at him naked (but because he's so ill your overwhelming feeling is concern, not lust, so you're fine). anyway, the shower seems to revitalise him a little bit, so you leave matty to dry off and get dressed in his room and run to make him a cup of tea and get some soluble paracetamol. he has a bit of a tantrum about the latter, and won't force himself to drink it unless you sit and cuddle him afterwards to make him feel better (which melts your heart), so you end up sitting on matty's bed with his head in your lap, softly blow-drying his hair (so his cold doesn't get worse) while you watch my neighbor totoro (aka the best film of all time if u wanna feel better). when matty starts to fall asleep, you manoeuvre him onto the pillows and let him nap, while you go to the kitchen and start to reheat a batch of chicken noodle soup you'd made and frozen especially for situations like these. forty minutes later, though, you hear matty literally crying out your name and run back in a panic. and you're like "what's wrong sweetheart?" and he's actually crying a little bit holding your hand like "woke up and you weren't next to me" and you have to hold onto the bedframe to stop yourself keeling over at how heart-aching that statement is before you say "i'm sorry, babe, i was just getting you some soup. give me 2 minutes and i'll bring it to you". and matty pouts and says "promise you'll only be gone for 2 minutes?" and you're like "yes, i promise" and he reluctantly lets you go and get it. and then when you come back he has the soup then he's like "can you just please stay and cuddle me for the rest of the day?" and you're like "ok. but if i get ill, healy..." and matty's like "if you get ill, i'll take care of you. i'll always take care of you" and then he falls asleep on you again, leaving you sitting there heart fluttering lol <3

[thewordworrier]

6th December - 548 words. Worked On: the tamarin situation. Favourite Line: heh

“Hmm,” Frank gently hooked his finger under Shelly’s chin and used it to make her look at him - pleased when she didn’t resist him trying to move her face. Instead she just blinked up at him. “So, what’s your answer, pretty girl?”

So the boyfriend has a tooth infection. He's got some antibiotics, but the dentist didn't prescribe any pain relief, so he's been necking paracetamol all day, and he's had a few too many, so despite the fact that aside from the pain, he feels fine, 111 wanted him to go to A&E, which is a bit of a trek late at night for us. His dad, however, says we don't need to worry too much, but he should be taking ibuprofen instead, but he'd need to wait Some Hours after the last paracetamol dose before he can start taking those instead. Which would be fine, if he could take pills - he can't swallow them, so he has to kinda chew them. Not great, but it works. If the ibuprofen we have in the house aren't easily chewable for him, he won't have anything to take until he gets a chance to get to a drugstore tomorrow. And I don't know if he'll be able to last that long. He's in so much pain right now, and I don't like it. I can't help him and I don't know what to do.

[philosophicalparadox]

Yes it does; kind of.

The thing is, testosterone makes you denser. Like physically more of a brick. Even lithe men (or transitioned men) have denser muscles and bones.

Men / people on T also develop or have larger livers. This is because men store more fat in their livers than cis women do; no one’s too sure why, maybe it’s a survival adaptation that lets them store fat soluble vitamins for longer for long distance running. One theory postulates that men are much more likely to be risk takers and therefore find themselves surviving alone, when such stores would be invaluable. But no one actually knows why.

Anyway, when you store fat in your liver it needs to be bigger in order to still do its job, so Mother Nature just made men have bigger livers.

Which means they don’t feel the effects of alcohol as fast, and often have more “tolerance”

Here’s the thing though; bigger =/= better.

Women, specifically cis women (sadly the effects testosterone has on development make the above permanent for trans women) actually have better liver function, and more resistance to a wide range of toxins; alcohol is not one of them, but I’ll get to that in a second.

Cis women are much more resistant to heavy metal poisoning, many bacterial toxins, and especially mycotoxins, those found in mushrooms, which is why there are more reports of women surviving encounters with toxic shrooms than men. (Women also tend towards being more cautious when encountering new foods and situations, and it is unclear if that’s innate or learned or both).

Any toxin that takes a while to work will be less impactful on women, generally speaking, because their livers are more efficient and secrete the toxins before they can have a good effect. Mercury poisoning is vanishingly rare in women, but is more common in men, who don’t metabolize the toxin as fast. (Most mercury poisoning is from fish, by the way; that women are the ones cautioned against eating tuna and swordfish is ironic considering).

What this means is that alcohol affects cis women faster, perhaps, and hits them harder, because it moves so much faster through the body, but it also wears off quicker and even women who get plastered can typically recover two to three hours faster than men. Here’s a peer reviewed article on the subject:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6761697/#:~:text=Average%20dose%3B%20individual%20doses%20were,a%20BAC%20of%200.08%20percent.&text=Supplemental%20doses%20were%20administered%20to,liter%20of%20blood%20per%20hour.

It should be noted that while women metabolise alcohol, and indeed many toxins more effectively, they are also more affected by some of them than others. Having a quicker liver means some liver specific toxins, like alcohol, enter the bloodstream faster, and can hit harder, causing more significant damage with long term use and increasing the effects of said toxin. The same is a true of paracetamol/acetominophen/tylenol. Women are much more likely to poison themselves with it by complete accident because the margin of error is much smaller than for men.

Anyhow that’s why testosterone levels impact alcohol tolerance.

Alcohol tips for newbie writers (or non drinkers!):

At bars, people who order “chasers” after their shots are ordering something to wash down the taste of their shot with. This can be juice, soda, more alcohol, or even pickle juice

Hard liquor is generally sold in stores as shots (tiny bottles), fifths, liters, and handles or in ml (50, 100, 200 etc)

Most people can’t finish an entire fifth of hard liquor (vodka, etc) on their own without being very ill

Conversely, many people can finish an entire bottle of wine on their own without being ill

Liquor can be��“bottom shelf” or “rail” or “well” – all synonyms for the cheapest version of alcohol a bartender has. Bars generally keep several “levels” of alcohol stocked

You order a drink with the alcohol first, then the mix – e.g., a “vodka soda” or a “Tito’s and tonic”

When you “close out a tab”, you pay for all of the drinks you’ve had that night. Either the bartender already has your card (you “opened a tab” earlier) or it was quiet enough that they just kept an eye on you and tallied your bill up at the end

“Doubles” are drinks or shots with double the standard pour of alcohol

In the US, most shots (pours) are 1.5 oz by default. 

Mixed drinks (gin and tonic, vodka lemonade, cosmos, etc) are generally made up of 1-2 shots and a mixer 

If you don’t specify which type of alcohol you’d like in a mixed drink (vodka cranberry, for example) the bartender will put whatever the “house” liquor is – and this depends entirely on the establishment. A dive bar will pour rail by default, whereas a nicer tavern might make all vodka cranberries with Tito’s

PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDERS THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU I PROMISE

[pediatric-nephrologist]

Understanding Urinary Tract Infections | Some Red Flags To Keep In Mind

This topic is intended to give the parents and caregivers a comprehensive overview of urinary tract infections (UTIs)-causes, signs and symptoms, diagnosis, treatment and potential future complications, so that they can lend a helping hand in building a better kidney health for their children.

What does the urinary tract consist of?

KIDNEYS -These are two bean shaped organs situated on either side of our back. They filter the blood off the wastes and produce urine.

URETERS -These are two tubes through which urine from the kidney travels down.

URINARY BLADDER –It is a bag which stores urine coming in from the ureters.

URETHRA –It is a thin tube from which urine comes out of the body whenever we urinate.

What’s a uti?

A UTI occurs when bacteria (germs) invade the urinary tract through infected urine. Overall, UTI is commoner in girls than boys, except in first year of life as structural problems of urinary tract at birth are seen more in boys putting them at a higher risk of UTIs.

A lower UTI involves infection of the bladder (cystitis) or urethra.

An upper UTI involves the kidney (pyelonephritis) and is more serious.

How would i come to know that my child has a uti?

UTI is common in babies and young kids. It is hard to pick up a UTI in them as they might have just a few non-specific signs like-

Fever(>38°C)

Vomiting

Lethargy(tiredness)

Irritability

Poor feeding

Crying on passage of urine

Frequent bed wetting

Increased thirst, soft sunken spot on head (due to dehydration-lack of enough water in the body)

Older kids may also complain -

Burning/stinging sensation while peeing (dysuria)

Increased frequency of urination

Cloudy urine

Desire to hold on urine to avoid pain

When to suspect a kidney infection?

High fever spikes despite taking paracetamol

Back pain

Red/dark brown urine (hematuria)

Why does my child have recurrent uti?

Most kids adequately treated for UTI do not have a repeated infection. But some kids go on having recurrent UTIs even after complete treatment. It is important to pay attention to it as they might have a structural urinary tract problem like vesicoureteric reflux (VUR).

VUR is due to improper insertion of the ureters into the bladder. This causes backflow of urine from the bladder up towards ureters and sometimes into the kidneys whenever the child pees. It can result in serious kidney infection and irreversible kidney damage (by scarring), if not detected and treated early.

Some red flags to keep in mind-

Any congenital urinary tract problem

Family history of VUR or kidney disease

History of neurogenic bladder (problems in fully emptying the bladder, poor urine flow) and/or chronic constipation

Hypertension (high blood pressure), poor growth

What can i do to save my kid from a uti?

Encourage your child to pee every 3-4 hrs and, prior to bathing and sleeping.

Change your baby’s nappies frequently.

Teach your kid not to hold on his/her urine.

Try to avoid constipation.

Make him/her drink plenty of water and other fluids.

Girls should wipe off their bottoms from front to back after a bowel movement to avoid introduction of any germs from bowel into urethra.

Boys should gently clean the area below their penile foreskin as far as possible without forcing it back. Some boys with recurrent UTIs may need to have their foreskin incised (circumcision).

If your kid has neurogenic bladder, double voiding (going to toilet twice- urinate once standing and then sitting) can help.

Seeking medical advice

If you suspect that your child has a UTI, consult your pediatric nephrologist immediately. The doctor would run the following tests on your kid’s urine sample to detect a UTI.

Urine dipstick- It is a paper strip containing a reagent which changes color when it comes in contact with infected urine.

Urine microscopy-It looks for the germs under a microscope.

Urine culture-It grows and identifies the bacteria causing UTI on a separate medium in a lab and also tells which antibiotic will kill those bacteria.

Some special tests would be needed if your child has recurrent UTIs. These include-

Ultrasound scan- A safe hand-held device emits sound waves and brings up pictures of the urinary tract on the screen.

MCU/MCUG/VCUG-This test detects VUR. A dye is injected into the bladder via the urethra and serial X-rays are taken when your child urinates.

DMSA scan- This test looks for any structural damage (scars) in the kidneys. A chemical is injected in the blood and images of urinary tract are taken by a camera.

Blood urea, Serum creatinine-It is a simple blood test which determines the kidney function by various parameters.

Would my child get well?

Most UTIs get treated with a full course of antibiotics as prescribed by your doctor with no long-term sequelae. Paracetamol can be given to bring down the fever and pain. Avoid Ibuprofen (Brufen) if the child has a kidney problem or asthma. The child would start feeling better in a day or two but you should not stop the treatment at this stage. This is to ensure that all germs get killed to avoid any relapse. Your child can get back to school once he feels better as UTIs are not infectious (others won’t catch it).

Children with serious UTI/pyelonephritis need hospital admission.

Those with structural kidney problems (like VUR) and recurrent UTIs need regular follow-up visits to a pediatric nephrologist. They require prophylactic (for preventing UTI) antibiotics even if they do not have an active infection as repeated unnoticed mild infections can also cause irreversible scarring of the kidneys. This can lead to CKD (chronic kidney disease) wherein the kidney function will decline slowly over years and finally the patient might need dialysis or kidney transplant.

Seeing their own children suffer from chronic kidney disease is a stressful experience for parents. This holds true especially for kids with structural urinary tract problems (like VUR) at birth who remain undiagnosed (unidentified) for a long time, before which severe kidney damage has already set in. Parental awareness on this issue can be a very important prevention tool. We hope that this information helped you understand in depth the prevention, recognition and treatment of UTIs. For any queries or further concerns, please visit this website/consult your pediatric nephrologist today.

TAG- Pediatric Dialysis Specialist in India, Child Kidney Doctor in Gurgaon,  Best Pediatric Nephrologist in India, Child Kidney Specialist in India 

[dreamsgazer]

Getting Sick and Getting Better

Reader gets sick. Tangerine takes care of her!

Minors DO NOT INTERACT.

Also, reblogs and comments and kudos are GREATLY appreciated.

--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->--->

“Would you fucking just lay down?” Tangerine practically snarls, his cockney accent stronger than ever. It always makes an appearance in full force when he is stressed.

He seems very much stressed out now, you yawn, while he pushes a rebel curl away from his reddened face. You would laugh if you weren’t feeling as sick as you are sure you look. One of the deadliest assassins in the world – the one who did the Bolivian job, the one who was fished out from the wreckage of a Japanese train with a bullet in his neck, the one that after finding his twin convinced him to be back at work less than two months after his very, very near-death experience – one of them was fretting because you got a fever.

Granted, it sucks. You rarely get sick, but when it happens, you subscribe the full package: nausea, fever, bones turned into splinters inside your limbs. It is a mess, and to make everything worse, you don't seem able to hold anything in your stomach.

After the third time in two hours that you visited the toilet on wobbly legs to give back to the planet your cup of tea, Tangerine has taken the reins of the situation, ignoring your protests. He called – screamed – for his doctor to come and visit you right away. You can’t be sure, but the words “firing you and then setting your studio on fire” were possibly growled.

The doctor has told the two of you exactly what you told your very worried, very handsome boyfriend: you simply need to rest, stay hydrated, and take some paracetamol.

“Told you, T,” you have coughed as soon as you were again alone with him. You have tried to get up and go in search of a box of paracetamol, prompting him to …  firmly invite you to lay down.

At the beginning of your relationship, you had been a tad hurt by his manners. It has taken a bit to understand that Tangerine cares for the people he loves with ferocious passion and stubborn, twisted tenderness.

He looks at you, your head peeking out from under the mountain of blankets he has insisted to wrap you in “Sorry,” he mutters rubbing a hand over his eyes with a sigh “I’ll fetch the medicine for you, alright, love?”

You nod, grateful. It’s a welcomed change to have someone looking after you.

He helps you to drink a bit of water, and you make an effort not to wince while trying to swallow the pill. It really hurts your throat, and he can sense it.

Tangerine helps you to lie down again and presses a kiss to your burning and sweaty forehead. You want to cry at the tenderness he displays, and when he looks at you, he grimaces, misunderstanding your emotion “That bad, darling?”.

You shake your head and whispers words of gratitude and affection for his presence, words that make his chest tighten with love and fury. Love for you, who has decided for whatever miracle to let him in your life, in your bed, and in your heart. Fury remembering how badly you must have been threatened to be moved by something as trivial as having him offering you a cup of water when you lay sick and helpless.

You haven’t talked much about your past. He knows you have family and he’s aware that some of those relationships are complicated to say the least. You haven’t told him a lot, yes, but he has lived enough and seen enough to understand that something has gone very wrong.

However, he seems to decide that the past can go fuck itself. You need him now; he can get angry at your family later.    

You cough a bit, making him sigh. Of course, your throat hurts, it has been two days that your lungs wouldn’t give you a break.

He sits next to you, gently rubbing your shoulder “Do you think you can eat something?”.

You think about it carefully, chewing your lip. During on of your first dates, you had confessed him it bothers you so much to bite your lip when you are thinking.

“Why?” he had asked, with a smirk, comfortably laying on his chair. You had shrugged “It makes me look childish, I guess.”

“I think it makes you look sexy,” had been his smooth reply. You had blushed, hard. His smirk had grown bigger. On anyone else you would have found it insufferable, but on him?

His smirk had made you want to crawl over the table and stick your tongue in his mouth. Which you did as soon as you were back in his lavish car, by the way, and later that night he – always the gentleman – had reciprocated sticking his tongue in your cunt.

While you are reviving your delightfully indecent memories, Tangerine seems lost in thought “I can’t cook shit” he mutters to himself, rubbing his forehead “but I’m gonna order something from The Terrace.”

He brought you there during your very first date. It is his favourite restaurant in London.

Classy enough not to have chairs but little, shockingly comfortable velvety armchairs, and quiet enough that you can hear the gentle piano music playing in the background, and leather covered menus that don’t specify how much those dishes with complicated names cost.  

You still remember how much you two chatted that evening. How much you wanted him to kiss you senseless – which he did as soon as you two stepped out from the restaurant, pinning you against a wall, releasing months of pent-up pining.

“Do you think they make broth there?” you inquire. He shrugs “ ‘ bet that if I pay them well enough they are gonna cook pretty much anything.”

“You know, I think I can manage to get up and make some broth,” you try again.  His glare stops further suggestions “Nonsense. You are sick, pet, and sick people should stay in bed and let their partner take care of them.”.

You want to reply that you don’t want for him to spend so much energy or money over you, but he huffs, frowning “Jesus Christ, you are almost as bad as I am! Lay down, would you? And then I will read something for you. If you behave,” he tuts sternly, pressing another quick kiss on your forehead.

You smile at those words. He rarely offers to read aloud, not because he doesn’t like having your full attention, but because reading for someone else is possible the only thing that makes him slightly conscious of his accent.

The afternoon it clicked for you that something so trivial was bothering him – You are not going to understand half of the words, love, trust me! Better if you read it on your own! – was the afternoon you spent telling him how charming you thought his accent was. Not that he has ever admitted he is unsure about it. Like you never said out loud you were scared he was going to run for the hills the moment he was going to see you naked, rolls and stretch marks on full display.

Some things, even if unspoken, come clear with time and require kind words, and tenderness, and affection. Sometimes, they require silence. 

You sleep a bit while he calls the restaurant, and he gently wakes you up entering your bedroom with a massive tray. His broad shoulders and tall frame occupy your visual in such a perfect way that it seems completely normal to have Tangerine in your bedroom, insisting on spoon feeding you, sitting on the edge of the bed, close enough that you can smell his rich cologne.

The broth smells delicious as well, actually, and you have managed to convince him you are weak, but not on your deathbed. He lets you eat by yourself but surveys your movements like a hawk, ready to intervene in case of need.

“It’s really tasty,” you sighed happily, slowly sipping it from your spoon. He beams with pride as if he has been the one to cook it. You can’t help but reciprocate his smile.  

“I will feel better soon,” you promise, taking another sip “you won’t have to take care of me for much longer, I swear.”

He gently wraps a hand on the back of your neck, his blue eyes staring right into your heart “Tired of me already, love?”

You huff a laugh, gently pressing your forehead against his “I will never be tired to have you in my bedroom, Tangerine.”

He grins even if your joke is pathetic, and you continue, more serious “I just don’t want to waste the time we have together before you and Lemon have to leave again.”

Tangerine nods. You know he disagrees this is a waste of time, but he also understands that is not easy for you to let him go to his missions.

You will probably never voice that aloud. When you understood what he does for a living and who he is, he had given you the choice to waltz out of his life.

A chance you had refused without a second thought. A chance you still refuse with all your strength.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy. But god, you think kissing the tip of his nose and making him chuckle, it’s so worth it.  

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

hiii~ we're a mutual but we're shy when giving any sort of unsolicited advice, but we deal with migraines two to three times weekly so. we just wanted to share some stuff! try taking some ibuprofen with some caffeine, caffeine is helpful for migraines! (but coffee itself or caffeinated drinks can be triggers, so it's best to take a caffeine pill) really there's like 2 ideal cocktails to take of you're stuck using over-the-counter meds: ibuprofen+acetaminophen+caffeine is one if you have those three, but you can also get Excedrin, which has aspirin+paracetamol+caffeine in it, which may work better. Just be warned, asprin is a blood thinner.

you can also take up to 800 mg of ibuprofen a day and be gucci, that's the max.

you're using heat which is good, but also try ice if the heat doesn't seem to be improving it!

this works at least for me especially if the migraine is in a localized area like the right or left side of the head, or behind the eye, it may benefit more by numbing the nerves over with ice, rather than heating them and making them more inflamed. you want to take the inflammation down.

usually what i do is put an ice pack on my head where the pain is and try to nap for like an hour. it's a 50/50 shot if it'll help.

also you said you need to get pumpkins done! that sounds fun but very tiring, try not to strain your eyes as your working, easier said than done but straining your ocular nerves are going to trigger that pain.

sorry for this long unwarranted post, we just felt like throwing some helpful things your way, take care of yourself hun

I appreciate the attempt to help, but I've been dealing with migraines for over 20 years. I've tried a vast array of treatments, some of which helped though most were useless at best.

I'm actually at pretty low frequency of migraines these days thanks to a neurologist who listens to me. Most of my migraines start as shoulder dislocations which cause the muscles in my neck to overtighten and pull on the vertebrae hard enough to pull them out of alignment (this is significant enough to be seen on x-rays). The vertebrae subluxing is what causes the migraine but it all stems from my shoulders dislocating which is a near daily occurrence. However, I'm prescribed daily muscle relaxers to help prevent migraines and it's the most effective treatment I have.

When I posted earlier, I had just taken Excedrin, my afternoon muscle relaxer, and was using heat to help release the muscles. I can only use ice simultaneously with heat or the muscles will overtighten again so I tend to only use it at the base of my skull when necessary to help alleviate the inflammation resulting from the top vertebrae shifting but I have to keep heat on my shoulders.

All this to say, I'm dealing with a complicated situation and have had 20+ years to figure out what works for me.

I'm not upset with you and I know you were just trying to help. But unless I ask for advice, I'm not looking for suggestions for my medical problems.

Again, I appreciate the sentiment and I'm not upset! Just trying to explain a boundary that I need to be more clear about

[spencers-renaissance]

Still Left With the River

Summary: Derek wakes up to find his boyfriend crying on the sofa. Cue the hurt, the comfort, and the fluff.

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, hurt!spencer, caretaker!derek, domesticity

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 1.6k

Read on AO3

"A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river, but he's still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away, but he's still left with his hands." - Richard Siken, Boot Theory 

After all these years, it’s almost like a little bit of Spencer has embedded itself in Derek: he feels when he’s happy, when he’s sad, when he’s scared so much more viscerally than he’s ever done with anybody before. It must be the reason that he stirs awake at 3am - an irregular occurrence for a deep sleeper like him - knowing even before he’s opened his eyes that something’s wrong. 

The other side of the bed is empty, but it’s still warm. He can see the light from the living room creeping in through the crack under the door, soft shuffling sounds accompanying the gentle glow and it doesn’t take long for the urgency of the situation to get him going. He pulls himself from the warm comfort of the bed and hurries out into the living room where he finds Spencer curled up in a tiny ball on the sofa with Clooney at his feet, a blanket pulled over both of them.

More importantly, he finds Spencer crying. 

“Baby?” he asks, concern obvious in his voice as he rushes over to the sofa and crouches down in front of it, brushing a lock of hair from his forehead. “What’s wrong?”

Spencer’s eyes stay screwed shut, and he curls himself into a tighter ball, even if he can’t stop himself sniffling as tears leak down his cheeks. 

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Derek asks, understanding his reaction. Spencer frequently goes non-verbal when he’s sad or overwhelmed with any emotion, really. It had frightened him at the start of their relationship, but after years of finding his boyfriend in these sorts of situations he’s learned the best ways to deal with them. 

Spencer shakes his head, curling even further in on himself.

“Okay, pretty boy, you don’t have to, you know that,” he says soothingly, caressing his cheek gently as he catches a wandering tear with his thumb. “Do you want a cuddle? Or maybe a hot chocolate, a snack, a glass of water?”

Spencer opens his eyes for the first time at that, blinking up at him with big, glossy brown eyes that make him melt every time he looks into them. He uncurls himself slightly and makes room on the sofa for Derek. 

“My baby wants a cuddle?” he asks warmly, following orders and getting situated on the couch so that Spencer is wedged in between him and the back of the sofa, resting his head on Derek’s shoulder as he allows an arm to snake around his waist and hold him closely. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Spencer. I’m right here.” 

They lie like that for a while, Spencer still crying softly, this time into his boyfriend’s shoulder while Derek just cuddles him as close as possible, drawing patterns lightly with his finger over his face and arms and hands in a way that he knows calms Spencer down. He knows better than to try and force him to talk, he knows that he’ll calm down in time, especially with close physical contact as reassurance, and he’ll speak to Derek when he’s ready. 

It’s one of those moments that Derek could not have imagined happening six or seven years ago. His twenties and early thirties had been defined by one night stands, short flings, and commitment issues. It had taken until he was thirty-two to come to terms with the fact that he liked men, too, and he never would have guessed that the person he actually settled down with would be Spencer.

Domesticity looks good on him, everyone always says, cooing and teasing when he kisses Spencer on the forehead before leaving, or declines an invitation out in favour of watching a nerdy documentary, eating takeout and having a cuddle on the sofa. And he’d have to agree. Settling down with the love of his life was one of the most emotionally thrilling experiences he’s ever had. He didn’t know he could ever love someone so much.

Eventually, Spencer’s soft cries subdue slightly, and he stirs a little in Derek’s hold, nestling his face further into his shoulder.

“You alright there, pretty boy?” he smiles, running a hand through his curls. 

“You smell nice,” he admits, slinging his arm around Derek’s middle, cuddling him back properly. 

“That’s very kind of you, baby,” he chuckles. “How are you doing?”

���Better,” Spencer says, voice a little muffled by the t-shirt Derek had thrown on before coming into the living room. “Thank you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You have nothing to thank me for,” he scoffs, twirling a curl around his finger and tugging at it affectionately. 

Spencer just hums, clearly sleepy from the tears and the late night. 

“Do you want to talk about it, baby boy?” Derek murmurs, not wanting to pressure him. 

Spencer sighs heavily, extracting his head from his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I woke up feeling really sad,” he whispers, making Derek smile slightly in spite of the situation. Spencer always finds it easier to talk about emotions or heavier topics if he whispers and it’s one of Derek’s favourite quirks of his, “and I couldn’t shake it. I don’t know why. Sometimes all the bad thoughts build up and then they unleash themselves all at once. Like I never think about my dad or my childhood really, but then on a night like this I can’t stop thinking about it and I don’t know why.” 

Derek knows this, of course. Spencer’s had many of these nights over the years, but he always likes to explain it, to put his emotions into words, into a medium he can process them in, so he listens diligently as his boyfriend works it over in his mind.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he says, running his hand comfortingly up and down Spencer’s side. “You should have woken me up, I would’ve come and cuddled you from the start.”

“Sorry,” Spencer says in a small voice. 

“Hey, you don’t need to apologise for a thing, alright?” Derek says. “I’m just saying that in the future, you can always wake me straight away, even if I do usually wake up pretty quickly. I need to be here for my boy if he’s sad, don’t I?”

Spencer blushes a little at that, still flattered and overwhelmed by the intensity of Derek’s love even if it’s been lavished on him for over three years now. “Thank you, Derek,” he whispers, placing an endearing kiss to his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Derek smiles gently. “Now, how about we get you a hot chocolate and a slice of toast, maybe some paracetamol for the inevitable post-cry headache and get you back to bed. We can leave a light on and we’ll put a TV show on in the background for some mindless noise, okay?”

Years of experience had cultivated a very strict aftercare routine for nights like these. Spencer’s far too overwhelmed with emotion and thoughts to go to sleep immediately after an experience like this no matter how sleepy he is, so familiarity and distraction are the best routes to getting him back to dreamland. 

They drink their hot chocolates on the sofa together while Derek distracts him with pointless stories from his college days that Spencer could probably tell with better accuracy than him, but tonight he appreciates the slightly monotonous conversation, the rhythm of it soothing him, bringing him down from the emotional rollercoaster he’s just been on.

He doesn’t even complain when Derek butters a slice of toast for him, knowing that it will be futile, but he ends up enjoying it anyway, the warmth of the hot chocolate and toast sitting nicely in his belly, soothing him from the inside. 

Derek ushers him around to get them ready for bed again, forcing him to brush his teeth before insisting on a kiss. “Minty,” he grins.

“Well, I should hope so,” Spencer smiles back, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Come on, you,” Derek says, rolling his eyes as he leads him back to the bedroom with a warm, firm hand in his. 

“Wait, Derek,” Spencer protests as Derek tries to get him back in bed, looking suddenly shy again. “Can I wear one of your shirts to bed?”

“Of course, baby boy,” Derek says gently, sensing that teasing would not be appreciated right now. “You know I’d never say no to such a polite request from such a beautiful boy.” 

“I just… I like the smell, it’s comforting and I want extra Derek tonight,” he says, a little bashfully, despite feeling reassured by his boyfriend’s reaction.

Derek’s heart melts at that as he rustles through his drawer to find the most comfortable t-shirt - only the best for his boy - and like he’s done so many times over the last three years, he wonders what on earth he did to get the karma that landed such a wonderful person right in his lap. 

“I understand, Spencer, it’s all good,” he says softly as he hands it over watching him slip out of his old PJ top and into Derek’s oversized shirt. “You look beautiful.” 

Spencer flushes at the compliment, nestling himself into Derek’s body as he wraps him in a tight hug, pressing his face into his neck as he always does in a cuddle like this one. “Love you so much,” he murmurs.

“Oh, Spencer,” he says. “I love you even more.”

“Not possible,” he smiles, pulling away and kissing him gently before turning to climb under the covers. 

“Oh, baby you have no idea,” Derek teases, but really he knows they both love each other astronomical amounts, there’s no genuine competition at all. 

He pulls Spencer against his chest while he switches on the bedside lamp and the TV, finding a sitcom and turning it on low volume so Spencer won’t be tempted to comment on it. “You try and relax now, sweetheart. Sleep will come, and I’ll be right here.”

“Love you,” Spencer mumbles for the third time that night. 

“I love you too, gorgeous boy,” Derek murmurs back, but he’s not sure Spencer’s awake long enough to hear him.

@strippersenseii @criminalmindsvibez

[haberdashing]

i want you to straighten out my tomorrow (4/?)

The last thing Jon remembers is working into the night in the Archives in early 2016. Now he’s in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, Scotland, with Martin Blackwood as his only companion. Obviously Jon’s missed something along the way here…

Inspired by beloved of jon, though it can be read separately.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

on AO3

“It’s alright, Jon, it- it’s really not as bad as you seem to think-”

Jon closed his eyes as he pressed his hands against his face. “How bad is it, then? How much danger are we in? And we’re just- just sitting around talking, eating breakfast like nothing’s wrong-”

Jon’s voice started to quicken as his speech went on, his breaths quick and shallow. He was panicking, that much was clear, but he also didn’t especially see a reason to stop.

“Well, for one thing, odds are good nothing’s going to happen right this minute, we, we’ve been here for almost two weeks and nothing’s gone after us yet-”

“But something might go after us.” Jon couldn’t bring himself to unbury his head, to go back to looking Martin in the eye just yet. “Like Daisy.”

“Probably not Daisy, honestly. She was a hunter, yeah, but she was on our side. She, er-” Martin let out a strange sound somewhere between a wheeze and a laugh. “She was your friend, I think.”

“She tried to kill me, and now we’re friends?”

“That’s right, yeah. Trust me, it...” Another one of those strange sounds. “It seems odd to me, too. And it took some time.”

If Martin thought it was odd, and he was there, he remembered all of it happening... god, how much deeper did this rabbit hole go?

Jon opened a gap between two of his fingers just wide enough for him to be able to peek out, though he wasn’t sure if Martin noticed as much. “If not Daisy, who?”

“There’s the hunters I mentioned before. They came all the way from America to the Institute to go after you--you specifically, I mean. Actually, come to think of it, both of them come up in statements early enough you might know the names--Trevor Herbert and Julia Montauk ring a bell?”

Jon gave up all pretenses at hiding then, put his hands back down at his side so that he could more effectively stare at Martin in disbelief. “The vampire-hunting tramp and the serial killer’s daughter teamed up in America to become hunters that want to kill me?”

“Oh, you do remember them! That’s about the long and the short of it, yeah. Apparently you stole something from them after they kidnapped you?”

Jon’s mind was swimming again. If this was all a giant puzzle, evidently it had even more pieces than he had initially thought.

“Wait, Trevor Herbert... didn’t he die? I thought you said he died of lung cancer.”

“Oh god, not this again.” Martin muttered under his breath, the sound quiet enough that Jon wasn’t quite sure if he was meant to hear it.

“Again?” Jon repeated.

Martin’s face turned a bright pink. “This came up before once. I thought I’d heard that he’d died, but I must have mistaken, given that the guy’s still around... and, you know, out to kill you.”

Jon sighed, tempted to get in a dig about how Martin couldn’t even manage such basic research but instead only voicing a frustrated, “Great.”

“Though upside is, at least this time you’re not using that mistake as a reason to accuse me of murder.” Martin paused for a moment, and when he spoke up again, his words were softer, his voice subtly shaking. “You’re not accusing me of murder now, right?”

Jon nodded silently. He wasn’t sure how much he could trust Martin right now, whether his ramblings were haphazard lies or just flawed attempts at explaining a complicated truth, but even if he let his paranoia run wild, murder wasn’t on the list of misdeeds he could imagine of Martin at the moment.

“That’s... good. Certainly better than the alternative, anyway.” Martin let out a short bark of a laugh.

“Why did I think you killed someone, anyway?”

“Good question.” Martin laughed again, but there was no humor to the sound this time. “After I found Gertrude’s body, we weren’t sure who killed her, and you got all paranoid thinking someone you worked with was the killer, and that they’d be after you next. Which wasn’t entirely wrong, I guess, since Sasha’d just... gotten replaced.”

“Is that, that Not-Sasha thing the thing that killed Gertrude too, then?”

Martin shook his head, and Jon was struck by the sight of his wild red hair moving to and fro, how his streak of white strands mingled with the rest as it fell around his face. “No, that was... now, this might sound a bit crazy-”

“Because the rest of it hasn’t already.” Jon muttered in a low voice, more for his own benefit than for Martin’s.

Jon wasn’t sure whether Martin could make out what he had said, but he was greeted with a weary stare just the same. “-but I promise it’s true--Elias killed Gertrude.”

“Elias?” Jon furrowed his brow. “Why would he kill Gertrude Robinson?”

“Because she was planning on destroying the Archives, and him in the process. Almost self-defense, in a way, if you want to be generous towards him, which I really don’t.”

“Gertrude was the Head Archivist; why would she want to destroy the Archives?”

“Because they’re evil, Jon!” Martin threw his hands in the air. “Because we work for an evil organization dedicated to an evil fear power, and the Archives are the worst of it--well, besides Elias himself, anyway. On top of killing Gertrude, and then killing Leitner and framing you for it, he’s the one who made the Institute such a mess in the first place.”

Once again, Jon was finding a lot of information being thrown at him in a short period of time. Martin had mentioned Leitner before, but not that the man was dead, a murder Jon apparently was framed for--was that why he’d been “on the run” before, or was that a separate, equally-chaotic brush with the law?

(Also, some small, dark part of Jon that had hardened in place when he was eight years old was a little bitter that he wasn’t the reason Jurgen Leitner was now dead and buried.)

But that wasn’t what first came to mind when Jon opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, though whether he cared more about proving his knowledge or simply clarifying the situation Jon couldn’t say.

“From what I’ve seen, it sounds like the Institute was a mess well before Elias got a hold of it. If anything, Jonah Magnus should get the blame there.”

“Yeah, yeah he should, you’re not wrong! But the point’s moot, because Jonah Magnus is Elias.”

“...what?”

“He’s been, been swapping bodies or whatever for two centuries now, keeping a hold on his precious Institute.” Martin made a series of vague hand gestures to accompany his words, though their exact meaning eluded Jon. “Probably has some master plan involving the place. He was James Wright, too, and whoever was the Head before that, but now he’s Elias Bouchard. The whole Institute exists just to be some creepy monument to the Eye, to suck in power from his fear god.”

Jon’s head was starting to hurt something fierce, and as he realized one of the many implications of this latest tidbit of knowledge, his heart started to pound almost as fiercely as his head.

“...you said I have powers from the Eye, too, because I’m the head archivist. The same ‘fear god’ Elias has, according to you. Does that make me evil, then?”

Jon had hoped that Martin would eke out a quick “No,” maybe add in a bit of comforting reassurance, move on from the question quickly enough.

Instead, Martin hesitated for a long moment, and when he spoke up, it wasn’t to give Jon the simple “no” that he so dearly craved.

“I mean, not exactly, but... it’s complicated. You certainly can do evil things, or, or unnatural ones, with your powers--make people spill their deepest secrets, I think you cut off your finger once and it just grew right back?--but I know you try not to do that sort of thing... most of the time, anyway. You’re not just some amoral monster like Prentiss was when she attacked--I mean, obviously not, or else we’d be having a whole different conversation--but you’re also not... entirely human, thanks to your connection with the Eye. I wouldn’t say you’re evil, but the Eye is, and sometimes it’s hard to tell where you end and it begins.”

“...Christ.”

“Yeah, I know, this has to be a lot to take in, and I’m here to support you however you need me to...”

Jon looked around at his mostly-empty plate, at the dreary weather outside the window, at the safehouse and its thrown-together furniture and the half-done jigsaw puzzle on the far table, and his head swam as he tried to take it all in.

“Does that ‘support’ include you doing the dishes? I think I need a nap.”

Martin looked at Jon quizzically, though he obediently started clearing the table. “Jon, you just woke up.”

“Yes, and I’m going to take a nap now. I think I could use it; my head’s hurting pretty badly right now.” It wasn’t a lie, not exactly, but also Jon just wanted some time to himself, to think things through without Martin’s presence or input.

“Need a paracetamol? We’ve got a few in the bathroom cabinet.”

Jon noticed the way Martin casually, unblinkingly referred to the two of them as “we,” implying that their possessions were one and the same, but he didn’t have the mental energy to parse all the implications behind that single word right that moment.

“Maybe after my nap. We’ll see.”

“Alright then. Just... just come calling if you need anything, alright? I’m not going anywhere.” Martin shot Jon a weak smile as he finished that last sentence, and Jon wondered if there was something he was missing there, some inside joke or connection that was lost to him now.

“Will do.”

The bedroom was still small and awkwardly-decorated and the bed was still far too big for Jon alone, but as he lay there, trying his best to mentally put together the pieces to this convoluted puzzle, Jon was glad that he had some space to decompress on his own, tiny and awkward though that space might be.

[universe-n-3276]

Carrying the Moon

Chapter 10

Notes: There is a little soft smut part at the beginning, but you can skip it. Also I wanted to thank you for all the suggestions I got for this chapter. They really helped my creative process. Thank you @cleocc who came up with the idea behind this. Lastly I wanted to tell you that all the love I’m getting from you guys is really making my days. I’m so grateful!

It was Sunday, the last day of the best weekend Robbe and Sander had spent in months. It was strange how those months apart had appeared so long to both of them, but now that they were together again, it seemed like not a day had passed. They hadn’t forgotten each other’s habits. How they liked to sleep, how much sugar they wanted in their coffee, who was the big spoon, who’s the little.

After putting Hero to sleep, they decided to take a bath, together, of course, because since their reunion on Friday night, they hadn’t been able to stay away from one another, not even for a few seconds. So, while Sander finished washing the dishes in the kitchen, Robbe started to run a bath. He filled the bathtub and made sure to put enough soap to form some bubbles. He took off his clothes and was about to slip into the water, when Sander walked in the bathroom and hugged him from behind, pressing his lips to his neck, making him shiver.

“Hi."

Robbe smiled, enjoying that soft contact. He tilted his head a little, and Sander took it as an invitation to continue what he had just started.

"Are you happy to see me or is there something in your pocket?"

Sander stifled a laugh against his boyfriend's skin.

"I don't have pockets."

They made love there, in the bathroom. Robbe was slightly bent forward while holding the sink with his hands. The sounds he was making, Sander thought he had never heard anything more beautiful, more arousing. They were his favorite thing in the world.

After that, they both got into the tub. Sander was sitting between Robbe's legs. His head resting on his boyfriend's shoulder, eyes closed, while Robbe played with his hair, kissing his face sweetly and delicately, in total contrast to what had happened a few minutes earlier. It was beautiful, comforting, familiar.

"How long it will take for him to start to see me as his parent?"

"I don't think he knows what a parent is."

"But he knows you are his papa."

"Because everyone keeps referring me as “papa” in front of him."

"Hmhm."

Sander knew Robbe would have started asking questions like that eventually, and he felt guilty for denying him his relationship with Hero for so long, but he was also sure that ultimately, those eight months, for Hero, had been meaningless, in the bigger picture.

"Look, I haven't read books about babies, but in my experience, I think he feels safer with me because I'm the one who spends more time with him. But I swear, I’ll do everything I can to make him feel safe with you as well. At that point, he will see you as his dad."

"So you're papa and I'm dad?"

“Yeah, of course. Come here."

He turned his face and pressed his lips to his boyfriend's, slipping a hand through his hair and cupping his head, to make him come closer. They kept going like that, kissing languidly for a while. Neither of them had yet made the slightest attempt to grab soap or shampoo to wash themselves, and the water was now starting to get cold.

"I have to go back to my flatshare tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I live there and I can’t go to classes wearing your clothes."

"I thought you wanted to do this parenting thing with me."

"I do."

"So stay. Move in with me here."

There were still so many things to discuss, and they both knew it, but they had made sure to put all the talks aside and take that weekend just to heal their relationship and love each other, without a single worry in their mind.

"And your mom?"

“My mom lives with her boyfriend and comes here when I need some help with Hero. It will be only the two of us and our little one, of course. Please say yes. There’s no rent to pay and my parents take care of the financial stuff since they didn’t want me to leave uni to look after the baby."

Sander knew how to make something sound good, but that proposal would have been tempting even if it was just him and Hero on the plate.

"I want to say yes."

"Look, baby, it won’t be easy as it was before, because dealing with Hero can be stressful, but I promise I will take care of him when you have to study, or you just don’t wanna him around. And there’s a spare room if you need your space. "

“I would never let you take care of him alone. We're in thins together now. Remember? "

“Yeah, I do. So is that a yes? "

"Yes."

Robbe managed to make his way into Hero and Sander's routine. It wasn't always easy, sometimes Hero would cry in the middle of the night when Robbe had to wake up early for a class in the morning. When he had to study for an exam, he felt guilty leaving Sander to take care of the baby alone, but, at the end of the day, the happiness he was feeling, outweighed those moments of despair. He started to think how stupid he had been, for letting all those months pass, before coming back to the love of his life and their son.

For once, Robbe didn't feel guilty about accepting the help of Sander's parents, and whenever he could call a babysitter for Hero, he felt very lucky.

Growing fond of Hero hadn't been difficult. After the first few days together, the joyful, warm, and radiant manners of the baby had managed to break through Robbe’s heart, who often found himself wishing he could be with his baby, when he had to be the whole day at university instead. He couldn't wait to go home and spend time together.

The chemistry with Sander came back automatically. From the first moment, it was like picking up exactly where they left off. Sander knew exactly how to read Robbe and it was mutual. It was like sharing emotions and thoughts. Robbe felt the need to give all of himself for their relationship and promised himself never to take the other for granted. Not after realizing how precious the way Sander loved him was.

It had been over a month since Robbe had moved in with Sander, and they had started their life together again. By now, he knew Hero, and that morning there was something wrong with him. He had lost the happiness that distinguished him, he was nervous and whiny.

"He doesn't want to eat, I even tried to give him a bottle of formula but he pushed that away too."

The two boys looked into each other's eyes, both were very worried. Sander took Hero from Robbe's arms and placed his cheek against his forehead.

“I think he has a fever. Can you take the baby thermometer?"

They took Hero's temperature and when they found out that it was indeed way above the norm, Sander started to panic.

“We should have known sooner. We have to take him to the hospital right away."

“Baby, calm down. I’ll call his doctor while you try to make him drink some water, okay?"

Sander took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to regain some of the rationality he had lost. Robbe knew that at times like that, he had to take the lead and give him a list of tasks to do so that he could focus on the present moment. He went into the kitchen, cuddling the baby, trying to carry out the instructions he had received from his boyfriend.

After a few minutes, Robbe joined them again and gently stroked Hero's back, who was leaning against Sander's chest, pouting with his eyes full of tears.

“The doctor said we should try to take him under the shower with one of us for at least 15 minutes. He said we should use lukewarm water, and added that he will probably cry and scream a lot."

"Shoot. Is that the only option?"

"Not really. We could give him paracetamol, but the doctor said we should try the shower first since he's so little."

Robbe kissed Sander's cheek and rested his forehead on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"It's gonna be fine, Sander."

"I hate this situation. I just want him to feel better."

“I know, baby. I’ll shower with him if it’s too much for you."

"No, I think he’d feel safer with me."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same."

"Okay, let's do it."

As the doctor told them, Hero started to scream as soon as he felt the first drops of water roll down on him. Sander kept his shirt on and Hero had his little romper on as well because Sander feared he would otherwise slip out of his hands. The child was crying, screaming, and struggling, so much more than the two boys had expected. It seemed they were torturing him, but they both knew that the hospital would be even more traumatic. Sander and Hero both looked in pain, and the baby kept trying to reach for Robbe every minute. When his boyfriend bowed his head, Robbe knew he was close to the tears.

"Baby, don't cry, it's for his best."

"I know but seeing him in this way just breaks my heart."

"Two more minutes and it’s over, c’mon."

He wanted to get in the shower and hug them both but they had a plan and according to it, he couldn’t get wet.

When the timer they set up warned them that the time was finally up, Robbe grabbed a big fluffy towel and took Hero from Sander’s arms, trying to comfort him, showering him with all the kisses.

Sander turned off the water and got rid of his soaked clothes, wrapping himself in his bathrobe.

"He's gonna hate me for the rest of his life."

"That’s not true, and you know it. At least now that he wants to stay with me, you can get some rest."

"Yeah, I definitely could use it."

Robbe took Hero into the nursery and kept cuddling him, whispering sweet words to him.

"You're such a brave boy. Let's dry you up and put on some clean pajamas, alright?"

The baby was so exhausted from screaming and crying so much in the shower, that he fell asleep while Robbe was dressing him. He sat down on the rocking chair that was in the nursery and kept holding him against his chest until Hero's breathing became more regular.

He did not know at what point he had fallen asleep, but when he reopened his eyes, the room was dark, and the only light in it, came from the small lightning bolt-shaped lamp that Sander had hung on the wall. He felt a hand caressing his cheek, realizing that his boyfriend was at his side and that he was whispering something.

"What?"

"I said hi, baby."

"Hi."

He smiled, and kissed Sander's lips, feeling so much calmer than before.

"I think he's better."

"Yeah, he woke up a couple of times, he took some milk with crumbled biscuits in it, and then fell asleep again."

"And his temperature?"

"It was back to normal so the shower worked."

"I'm so happy to hear it. Wanna switch?"

"No, that's okay. I love feeling him sleeping so peacefully on my chest."

"At least come to our bed, or you won't be able to stand up tomorrow."

Sander helped him to his feet and guided him to their room. Robbe felt so tired he barely understood what he was doing, so he was happy to be able to count on his boyfriend. Sander arranged some pillows so that Robbe could stay seated to keep Hero on his chest. Shortly after getting into the right position, he closed his eyes again and went back into a deep sleep.

When he regained consciousness, it was late morning, and the room was bathed in daylight again. He turned his face and saw his boyfriend's eyes staring at him, a stupid smile on his lips that didn't quite match the way he was feeling at that moment. Every inch of his skin hurt and his head was about to explode. He wondered if Hero had felt the same way.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Hmm, I feel like shit."

"Ow. Let me just..."

Sander pressed his lips to his forehead, and Robbe fought the urge to push him away. When he was sick he just wanted to be left alone.

“Yeah. You're burning."

"Fuck. Everything hurts. Where's Hero? "

"He's in the other room with my mom, and he's great!"

"I'm happy to hear it. Now go away."

"Why? You're the worst patient."

"Shut up, you took a cold shower and I get a fever? I hate you."

He pulled the blanket over his head to hide and slid onto the mattress, curling up. Obviously, Sander didn’t let him go, in fact, he felt his boyfriend come closer and try to hug him as he could, leaving little kisses on the blanket.

"You're kissing my butt."

“You know I love it. And so do you!"

Robbe uncovered himself again, coming face to face with his boyfriend, giving him a death glare.

"I want to punch that stupid expression out off your face."

Sander laughed out loud and Robbe's head began to throb even more. He closed his eyes and remained silent, trying to calm down, when someone knocked on the door.

"Yes, come on in, mom."

Sander's mom walked into their room, holding Hero in her arms. He looked better, and Robbe was a little relieved. He had gotten sick, but at least it was worth it, and he would have done it again thousands of times, just to get the same outcome.

"Guys, guess who ate all his food?"

"Hi, Alice!"

"Hi, sweetheart!"

"Robbe’s a fever."

“Ow, no! Poor thing!"

Hero saw his dads and stretched out his little hands to reach them, but Alice kissed his cheek and smiled quietly.

"No, baby Hero, you can't go with them. Your daddy is sick."

"But I wanna hold him."

"You need some more rest, baby. Mom, can you help me make some soup for Robbe."

“Sure! Say nighty night to your daddy, Hero! "

Alice waved her hand to Robbe and Hero did the same. Sander gave his boyfriend a kiss on his forehead and the three of them left, so the boy was finally able to rest. Robbe closed his eyes, turning on his side. It was the first time that Hero got sick and there would be many more. When he saw the baby cry and suffer so much, he just wanted with all his heart to take his pain away and make him feel better. For the first time, perhaps, he understood what being a parent meant.

[previous] / [next]

[pediatric-nephrologist]

Understanding Urinary Tract Infections | Some Red Flags To Keep In Mind

This topic is intended to give the parents and caregivers a comprehensive overview of urinary tract infections (UTIs)-causes, signs and symptoms, diagnosis, treatment and potential future complications, so that they can lend a helping hand in building a better kidney health for their children.

What does the urinary tract consist of?

KIDNEYS -These are two bean shaped organs situated on either side of our back. They filter the blood off the wastes and produce urine.

URETERS -These are two tubes through which urine from the kidney travels down.

URINARY BLADDER –It is a bag which stores urine coming in from the ureters.

URETHRA –It is a thin tube from which urine comes out of the body whenever we urinate.

What’s a uti?

A UTI occurs when bacteria (germs) invade the urinary tract through infected urine. Overall, UTI is commoner in girls than boys, except in first year of life as structural problems of urinary tract at birth are seen more in boys putting them at a higher risk of UTIs.

A lower UTI involves infection of the bladder (cystitis) or urethra.

An upper UTI involves the kidney (pyelonephritis) and is more serious.

How would i come to know that my child has a uti?

UTI is common in babies and young kids. It is hard to pick up a UTI in them as they might have just a few non-specific signs like-

Fever(>38°C)

Vomiting

Lethargy(tiredness)

Irritability

Poor feeding

Crying on passage of urine

Frequent bed wetting

Increased thirst, soft sunken spot on head (due to dehydration-lack of enough water in the body)

Older kids may also complain -

Burning/stinging sensation while peeing (dysuria)

Increased frequency of urination

Cloudy urine

Desire to hold on urine to avoid pain

When to suspect a kidney infection?

High fever spikes despite taking paracetamol

Back pain

Red/dark brown urine (hematuria)

Why does my child have recurrent uti?

Most kids adequately treated for UTI do not have a repeated infection. But some kids go on having recurrent UTIs even after complete treatment. It is important to pay attention to it as they might have a structural urinary tract problem like vesicoureteric reflux (VUR).

VUR is due to improper insertion of the ureters into the bladder. This causes backflow of urine from the bladder up towards ureters and sometimes into the kidneys whenever the child pees. It can result in serious kidney infection and irreversible kidney damage (by scarring), if not detected and treated early.

Some red flags to keep in mind-

Any congenital urinary tract problem

Family history of VUR or kidney disease

History of neurogenic bladder (problems in fully emptying the bladder, poor urine flow) and/or chronic constipation

Hypertension (high blood pressure), poor growth

What can i do to save my kid from a uti?

Encourage your child to pee every 3-4 hrs and, prior to bathing and sleeping.

Change your baby’s nappies frequently.

Teach your kid not to hold on his/her urine.

Try to avoid constipation.

Make him/her drink plenty of water and other fluids.

Girls should wipe off their bottoms from front to back after a bowel movement to avoid introduction of any germs from bowel into urethra.

Boys should gently clean the area below their penile foreskin as far as possible without forcing it back. Some boys with recurrent UTIs may need to have their foreskin incised (circumcision).

If your kid has neurogenic bladder, double voiding (going to toilet twice- urinate once standing and then sitting) can help.

Seeking medical advice

If you suspect that your child has a UTI, consult your pediatric nephrologist immediately. The doctor would run the following tests on your kid’s urine sample to detect a UTI.

Urine dipstick- It is a paper strip containing a reagent which changes color when it comes in contact with infected urine.

Urine microscopy-It looks for the germs under a microscope.

Urine culture-It grows and identifies the bacteria causing UTI on a separate medium in a lab and also tells which antibiotic will kill those bacteria.

Some special tests would be needed if your child has recurrent UTIs. These include-

Ultrasound scan- A safe hand-held device emits sound waves and brings up pictures of the urinary tract on the screen.

MCU/MCUG/VCUG-This test detects VUR. A dye is injected into the bladder via the urethra and serial X-rays are taken when your child urinates.

DMSA scan- This test looks for any structural damage (scars) in the kidneys. A chemical is injected in the blood and images of urinary tract are taken by a camera.

Blood urea, Serum creatinine-It is a simple blood test which determines the kidney function by various parameters.

Would my child get well?

Most UTIs get treated with a full course of antibiotics as prescribed by your doctor with no long-term sequelae. Paracetamol can be given to bring down the fever and pain. Avoid Ibuprofen (Brufen) if the child has a kidney problem or asthma. The child would start feeling better in a day or two but you should not stop the treatment at this stage. This is to ensure that all germs get killed to avoid any relapse. Your child can get back to school once he feels better as UTIs are not infectious (others won’t catch it).

Children with serious UTI/pyelonephritis need hospital admission.

Those with structural kidney problems (like VUR) and recurrent UTIs need regular follow-up visits to a pediatric nephrologist. They require prophylactic (for preventing UTI) antibiotics even if they do not have an active infection as repeated unnoticed mild infections can also cause irreversible scarring of the kidneys. This can lead to CKD (chronic kidney disease) wherein the kidney function will decline slowly over years and finally the patient might need dialysis or kidney transplant.

Seeing their own children suffer from chronic kidney disease is a stressful experience for parents. This holds true especially for kids with structural urinary tract problems (like VUR) at birth who remain undiagnosed (unidentified) for a long time, before which severe kidney damage has already set in. Parental awareness on this issue can be a very important prevention tool. We hope that this information helped you understand in depth the prevention, recognition and treatment of UTIs. For any queries or further concerns, please visit this website/consult your pediatric nephrologist today.

TAG- Pediatric Dialysis Specialist in India, Child Kidney Doctor in Gurgaon,  Best Pediatric Nephrologist in India, Child Kidney Specialist in India 

[baysideorthopaedicsau]

Dr Sanjay Josh On His Weight Loss Program

When it comes to the field of orthopaedic surgery, few practitioners have had the kind of meteoric rise to stardom that Dr Sanjay Joshi has had. Previously a resident of Mumbai, Dr Sanjay first came to India from England where he practiced as an oral surgeon before shifting to Rajasthan, where he established his reputation as an acclaimed orthopaedic surgeon. He went on to establish his private practice in Mumbai and across the country.

Now a national figure, Dr Sanjay's fame has spread to the United States where people speak of him as the "Oral Surgeon millionaire". A highly sought after medical examiner, Dr Sanjay is also well known for being the founder of the "Compound Research Foundation for orthopaedics in India". The organisation was initially created to help expand the scope for orthopaedics in India and is now seen as a vehicle to bring in much-needed funding for the sector. Over the past decade or so, orthopedic research in India has come a long way, and the country is home to some of the finest orthopaedic hospitals in the country as well as being a major medical examiner for international orthopedic surgery. Thanks to Dr Sanjay, however, India has become one of the major places for global orthopaedic surgery, which helps to fuel growth in the country and lift up its standing in the world.

One of the ways in which Dr Sanjay Joshi continues to serve his patients across the country is by providing comprehensive post-operative care. During the post-operative stage, the patient will be kept sedated so as to allow for complete surgical disconnection. This process of completely removing the uppermost portion of the lung is called as lung resectioning and is performed on a regular basis. It has been found that this form of surgical disconnection is safe and very effective.

There are times when the patient will not be able to withstand the pain. This is where Dr Sanjay Joshi's team of experts steps in. In these situations, they resort to the use of painkillers like Demerol and Paracetamol. Within fifteen minutes the patient begins to relax and is able to tolerate the pain.

As part of their routine care, patients are asked to follow a certain dietary routine. For instance, they are advised to eat only light meals so as to avoid any gastric complications. Light meals are required because it helps in rapid digestion. This prevents the patients from consuming large amounts of food at a time.

Dr Sanjay Joshi believes in strict adherence to a proper diet, so that weight loss occurs in an easier manner. While surgeries are extremely helpful in case of quick weight loss, they should not be carried out with abandon. This leads to other problems such as dehydration and malnutrition.

Obesity is a major concern in the country. More than a million people are overweight in the country. It has become one of the major causes of diabetes and related medical conditions. Due to this, Dr Sanjay Joshi believes in promoting a healthy lifestyle and a low-fat diet. He advocates physical activity as a form of weight loss.

According to him, regular exercise doubles the chances of living a long and healthy life. People who lead a sedentary lifestyle live for only half as long as those who exercise regularly. Therefore, Dr. Sanjay Joshuai believes in promoting physical activity in the society.

A proper diet is another key to weight loss success. In fact, Dr. Sanjay Josh believes that a low fat diet can be beneficial in the long run. The diet includes a lot of proteins. Therefore, you need to eat a healthy diet to increase the energy level of your body. You need to include protein sources in your diet such as fish and pulses. You can also include fruits and vegetables in your diet plan.

It is important to have a balanced diet so that you will be able to have a good health. However, the Dr. recommends that you take diet pills before you start any kind of diet program. This is because these pills contain ingredients that may counteract the effects of the diet.

The best part of Dr. Sarojini Josh's weight loss program is that it works quickly. It allows you to shed off the weight within five weeks. Therefore, you do not have to wait for months before you lose the weight. Your body will be ready to accept the changes made with the diet as soon as you start exercising and eating right.

[scribeofmorpheus]

Chasing Tornadoes {2/6}

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader

Series Warnings: poorly written medical procedural, mild delving into spirituality, language, overbearing egos, graphic descriptions of medical procedures. more warnings to be added. 18+ Generally, like my blog.

A/N: mention of/scenario depicting an anti-vaxxer situation.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3

Taglist is open -comment or send an ask!

<< Previously ○ Next >>

~

“Read ‘em and weep,” Marcy smacked her winning cards on the food tray for you to see. “Go fish!”

“Again?” you scrunched your nose as you gathered the cards on the tray and placed them onto the deck. “You sure you aren’t cheating?”

Marcy flashed her pearly whites at you through steady breaths. She was certainly enjoying the win, “Years of practice.”

She looked better today, less pasty, just as pale, but better. It was comforting to see her smile.

“One more game?” She asked with keen interest. You could tell she hoped you’d say yes.

“I already broke the rules smuggling this contraband for you,” you shook the cards then sighed, disappointed in the fact you had to let her down, “Besides, you have to rest, little missy.” You put the deck of cards in its box and then sealed it inside a ziplock bag.

“Rest is boring,” she huffed. “It’s all I do anyway.”

After stashing the cards in your lab coat, you tucked the blanket around her, “Well you need to keep up your strength for the transplant.”

An announcement sounded off from the PA speakers outside the room: “Mike Weschler to Observation Three. Mike Weschler to Observation Three.”

As if summoned by the devil, Mike knocked on the door to Marcy’s room. He nudged his head for you to go out, undoubtedly in too much of a rush to go through decontamination.

You held up a finger and mouthed: “One minute.”

Mike tapped his wrist like his watch was on.

You turned your attention back to Marcy, “I’ve gotta get back out there, but if you need anything...”

Marcy breathed shallow, turning on her side to stare at the wall, “I know.”

Quietly, you walked away, feeling there was nothing more you could say. You tapped the sanitiser dispenser and worked the clear gel all over your hands once you left the sealed room.

Mike shoved his hands in his white coat, “You got a sec?”

“Hey to you too,” you folded your arms. “What is it?”

“Kids,” Mike’s eyes went large as if he’d seen a ghost, a comical shudder followed suit.

You rolled your eyes, “Lead the way.”

 The hospital was calmer the day after the tornado struck. Still buzzing with adrenaline-fuelled fellows and tired residents, only now there were more white coats around. More senior staff relieved the stressful work load. Their presence had helped ease the minds of the younger staff members, allowing them more moments to sneak up to the roof for a smoke or time to themselves.

Even though the rooms were as full as the day the tornado struck, the brunt of the more serious cases were moved to the hospital in the town over.

Mike’s hair was dishevelled, a sign of poor sleep.

“Here we are,” he opened the door to Observation Three and waited for you to enter first before grabbing a clipboard.

There was a family of four all huddled together. Of the two children, the oldest –a teenager by the looks of it– was hunching over the edge of the examination bed. The mother was busying herself by wiping down every surface with disinfectant wipes. The father was less on edge.

“Hello, I’m Dr Mike Weschler, this here is my colleague,” Mike droned with no emotion in his voice. He flipped through the clipboard quickly before clearing his throat, not bothering to look up. “Persistent headache,” he mumbled to himself. Then he grabbed his pen and started filling in the form, “Any other symptoms?”

The father leaned closer, as if his voice would take less time to reach Mike if he closed in their distance. “He’s had a fever, and yesterday he threw up twice.”

“Did you try Paracetamol or Ibuprofen for the fever?” Mike said.

The mother eyed him coldly, “We gave him cold medicine, didn’t work. That’s why we’re here.”

Mike scratched his nose, picking up on the mother’s condescending tone. The nib of his pen pressing into the paper harder. The scratching noise of his writing more pronounced.

“What’s our patient’s name?” You interjected as you looked over the teenager’s features and instantly noticed the redness around his eyes, pale skin and shiny forehead. Though that last observation could simply be a dermatological issue like oily skin.

The teenager stayed silent, waiting for one of his parent’s to answer.

“His name’s Noah,” the mother said, a seriousness to her demeanour. From her attire, you assumed she’d be an academic or a teacher.

“Hello, Noah. I’m Dr Y/N. Do you mind if I take a look?”

He shook his head.

An introvert, you thought. You could relate.

You felt under his jaw for any swelling. Then you tilted his head side to side. He winced.

“Stiff?” You asked.

“Mmm-hmm,” He answered.

“Anyone you know exhibiting similar symptoms –maybe from school or around–?” Mike asked the room.

“Not that we know of,” the mother replied.

Mike inhaled, “Go anywhere outside your usual routine?”

The mother spoke more sharply, “No.”

You fished out your otoscope and looked into his ears. You sighed in thought. “We’re going to have to run bloodwork, check for cultures.”

The father stammered, “Y-you don’t think it’s…meningitis do you?”

Mike answered matter-of-factly, “Fever, headache and neck stiffness. It is a possibility.”

You put on your soft, calming voice, “But, it could also be a common cold. We’ll know more once the tests come back.”

The mother shuffled on her feet, nose high in the air, “And how long do we have to wait?” She wasn’t comfortable in the hospital.

Mike held the clipboard behind his back and plastered on a straight-lined smile, “I’ll get right on it.”

“Excuse us,” you dragged Mike out of the room by his lanyard, discretely. When you were both out of earshot you gave him a tongue lashing. “Show a bit more empathy, Mike. Those parents are probably worried sick.”

“It’s always the parents,” Mike scoffed. “Ironically, when I told my dad I was going into medicine, he suggested paediatrics,” He worked his jaw till it turned red.

Suddenly, Stephen appeared from behind a corner, hands in his pockets, seemingly with nothing to do. He picked up his pace when he saw you.

The clipboard was snatched out of Mike’s hands. Stephen read over the notes and asked: “Have you ordered a blood workup?”

Mike sighed, “It’s on my to-do list.”

“Must be a long list,” Stephen condescended.

“Longer than yours, by the looks of it,” Mike send behind clenched teeth.

Stephen rose a brow and tilted his head to the side. He handed the clipboard back.

The air between then was as prickly as the first time they’d met. Mike was trying his hardest to keep things civil between them. Stephen liked pushing that particular envelope. You imagined it gave him something to occupy his time. Being referee was going to grow old very quick. You could feel it.

Thankfully, Arlene jogged up to just in time to shift the mood. She handed you a tablet, “Hey…Uh, Dr Weisz put me in charge of doing the drive roster. I need at least two senior medical staff to supervise. I asked Dr Sanje and Dr Cho, but they’re swamped.”

 Mike groaned, “Nope, I’ve had enough of kids for today.” He walked away.

“Mike, where are you going?” You called after him

He raised the clipboard in the air, “To exercise my empathetic muscles.”

“Drive?” Stephen looked over at Arlene, his height and hooded gaze made her wring her wrists anxiously.

Her voice went several octaves softer, “F-flu sh-shots. The hospital sends out a van to the school district each season.”

“Wow, you really do that?” Stephen sounded surprised. “And you guys sign up for this?”

You signed two names on the roster, “You’re not at Met Gen anymore, Stephen. We do things differently here.”

Arlene accepted the tablet with a nod and hurried on her way. You turned to Stephen and asked: “Do you have any patients?”

“Not many in need of brain surgery here,” he sounded almost wistful.

“Good,” you smirked. A mischievous twinkle in your eye. “How are you with kids?”

You started heading down the hallway.

“Terrible,” Stephen followed, looking particularly perplexed by the question. “Why?”

You held back your need to laugh.

 “So this is why you asked,” Stephen folded his hands over his chest, looking down at you as though you were the devil himself. He wasn’t at all thrilled about the fact you had dragged him away from the hospital to give out flu shots at a school.

“The alternative would’ve been babysitting,” you poked fun at him. “And my Spike has a tendency to bite strange men.”

“You have a kid?” Stephen was taken aback.

You bit back a laugh, letting Stephen do a little mental gymnastics as you walked away.

He was ridged and out of his element around the kids. It was the first time his larger than life personality seemed grounded, awkward. You loved every moment of it.

“This is a seasonal occurrence?” Stephen asked with a hint of exasperation in his tone.

The two of you were seated on a bench in the cafeteria while you waited for the other Fellows and Interns to clear up the equipment. A small juice box was held between Stephen’s palms. His long fingers appeared cartoonishly large holding the small juice box.

“What Met Gen never ask you to give out shots?” you asked rhetorically.

His brow had been furrowed the entire time, “How do you do it?”

“Do what?” You popped the lid off your yoghurt drink.

“Work here. Live here,” He shook his head, confounded by it all. “All those years of medical training to wind up here? In a town that’s so…predictable?”

You let out a slow breath, feeling somewhat insulted. “I used to work in the city. I was raised in the city, actually.”

“And you left, willingly?” Stephen guffawed.

“When I first got here, Dr Weisz said that this wasn’t a place for those who wanted to make a name for themselves –to spread their wings. She told me this is where we perch,” you took a long gulp of your drink.

Stephen ruffled his professionally styled hair, “And what’s that supposed to mean? That this is where your career comes to die?”

“That this isn’t a place that puts ambition before practice. Not everyone in this field is in it for the fame.” Your words came off accusatory.  

Stephen picked up on the fact he had offended you. You closed the lid on your drink a little too tight. The ridges of the cap burning your palm. Stephen didn’t apologise, he just looked elsewhere as if pondering life’s mysteries. That annoyed you even further.

What did Christine see in him? You wondered.

“Help!” A teacher burst into the cafeteria in a panic, arm pointing behind her. “Earl–one of our staff members–he just collapsed!”

You and Stephen shot up, taking an emergency kit with you.

 The man, Earl, was lying on the ground, unresponsive.

“Any medical history we should be aware of?” you asked the woman who led you to Earl.

“I- N-n… I don’t…” She shook.

Stephen got to him before you did. He checked his respiratory rate and pulse like it was second nature, counting the beats with the ticking of the second’s hand on his expensive watch.

“Unresponsive,” Stephen said. “Get the tube, I’ll begin chest compressions.”

You looked over at the unresponsive man, methodically weighing the options. The amount of time it would take you to unpack the tube, get it into his airways, attach the pump and begin to force air into his airways… You didn’t linger on it, it was best to get him breathing now.

Without warning, you leaned over, pinched the man’s nose and began mouth to mouth.

Stephen lost his cool, “What are you--?”

“Begin chest compressions,” you ordered, ignoring Stephen’s glare.

The two of you worked together, no need for extra words. In tandem, you were like a muscle unit. When you contracted he relaxed. And vice versa.

Finally, after more compressions than you would’ve liked to wait through, Earl coughed and groaned to consciousness.

“Wha- happ’n’d?” Earl slurred his words.

“Welcome back,” you flopped back onto the floor, wiping sweat from your brow. “Come on, buddy. You’re coming with us to get a check-up.”

The grey haired man gave no fuss, he got up on wobbly feet, aided by Stephen and said: “Yes, ma’am.”

 A beeping sound went off as you helped Earl into the back of an ambulance. Stephen had been uncharacteristically quiet since the whole thing went down. You chalked it up to wounded pride.

The car ride had been uncomfortable. Neither of you said a word to one another. Even if it was wounded pride, he was blowing things way out of proportion.

You wheeled Earl into the hospital with the help of the paramedics, “Sixty-five-year-old male, collapsed from unknown reasons. Slurred speech and incoherence. Had to perform CPR on sight.”

“Earl?” Jan recognised the man.

You walked over to her desk, “Know him?”

“Yeah, my son’s history teacher. Think he has a heart problem,” Jan said.

“Possible heart failure!” You shouted after the residents. One of them nodded in response.

“Why’s he so sour?” Jan looked over at Stephen.

“That’s what I wanna know,” you huffed. 

You pulled Stephen aside.

“What’s the matter with you?” you whispered.

He flexed his jaw muscles, eyes growing smaller and he leaned down to speak in a careful tone, “I specifically told you to use the tube.”

“It would have taken too long,” you protested.

“Do you know why I specifically asked you to use the tube?”

You bit your lip, “No, why?”

“Because of Mike’s patient. He’s a teenage kid exhibiting symptoms of either bacterial or viral infection, possibly contagious. There’s a high chance he goes to that school. You could have exposed yourself to a contagion,” he made sure to stress his words so they fell like bricks rather than cards. “But then again, what do I know, since I’m just in it for the fame. Right?”

He was right. Damn him, but he was right. You had thought only of the patient, not the environment.

You couldn’t find anything else to say. Stephen pinched his nose bridge and strode away. The temple on his forehead was throbbing.

And then the second wave hit as soon as you walked into the main wing.

“Do you know how irresponsible this is? It’s not just your kids that are put at risk by this,” Mike held his hands on his hips, stance wide. He was in a heated conversation with the parents from earlier. Noah’s parents.

Stephen caught wind of the commotion and butted in, “What’s the issue?–Observation Three, isn’t it?–I’m guessing you got the tests back?”

“Sure did,” Mike sucked in air through his teeth and handed the chart to Stephen.

“Type B…” Stephen sounded worried. “Why wasn’t he immunised?”

“They chose not to,” Mike waved his hand at the parents.

You were about to play referee again, only this time it seemed Stephen and Mike were both on the same offensive team while the parents held their defensive position.

Stephen straightened his back and somehow he appeared taller, intimidating. His professional face was on, and he instantly began barking orders, “Mike, there’s a patient we just brought in, elderly man, mid 60’s, possible heart condition. Make sure they run a blood screen on him too in case this isn’t an isolated incident. Has the CDC been informed?”

“Dr Weisz is making that call now,” Mike sounded defeated.

“Make sure the kid gets a chest x-ray and do cultures for the parents and younger sibling too. Oh, and inform the school,” Stephen grabbed your elbow and led you away from the crowd. “You’re coming with me.”

“Where?”

“An isolation unite. Noah tested positive for Influenza B.”

You swallowed.

 The testing took a few hours and four Sudoku games before your results came back. Stephen walked into your isolated unit without taking the necessary precautions.

It was good news then.

You sighed in relief.

Stephen hadn’t cooled off yet.

“Lab work came back negative,” Stephen kept both hands in his pockets. “Turns out Earl had a pacemaker installed a year ago. It’s been giving him some trouble for a while. He didn’t come in due to insurance issues.”

“And Noah?” you asked.

“Antibiotics seem to be working. Caught it early enough. He’ll be fine. School only had one other case to report.”¨

There was a beat of silence. Then you decided to bite the bullet, guilt gnawing at your gut.

“Listen, Strange, I wanted to app—”

“You should get some rest,” Stephen cut you short.

You weren’t going to leave until you said your piece. Otherwise you’d toss and turn all night, “But first let me—”

He was avoiding your gaze, “I should go and check on Earl.”

“Stephen!”

He stopped.

You realised, just then, that that was the first time you’d called him by his first name. It felt…personal. No longer simply professional.

He turned to look at you, slowly.

“I—I’m sorr—”

“I was wrong,” he said suddenly. “This town. It’s not as predictable as I thought. It appears there are still some things that can surprise me.”

Did Strange –Stephen! – Just admit he was wrong?

You were stunned, pleasantly so.

Before you could think to say something else, he was gone.

 To be continued...

[cestmoi-cien]

How to study - Corona Version

Side note: also helpful to those who don't study (anymore)

1. Take A Step Back & Breathe

What is your situation? Take a step back and ask yourself these questions: is my school closing? Do I have exams coming up (will qny exams be postponed or cancelled)? A deadline? Which things do I need to wait for (e.g. online classes) and which things can I already start on (e.g. discussing your further course of action with your group and supervisor/teacher)?

2. Follow Advice & Be Safe

COVID-19 has officially become a pandemic. Each country has their own measures aimed at slowing down the spread of the virus, and following your government's advice is vital to prevent hospitals from overloading. If there would be no measures in place, everybody would get sick at roughly the same time. There would be a lot of people who don't make it, merely because there would be no more hospital beds available. Therefore we need to slow down the rate of transmission, by imposing measures. It's not for nothing.

Measures can be: closing schools, closing restaurants and cafés, social distancing, travel bans, and more. They will differ per country!

Stay up to date with your school's/university's regulations as well. Please stay safe.

3. Get Back To Work, But At Home

If your educational institute has closed its doors due to corona, options for you can be:

- your study books (just read, or take notes, or make assignments with it if available)

- practise exams/past exams

- making a summary of material you need to know for your next exam

- have a look online for extra resources that you normally wouldn't have much time for. These could be be videos, interactive exercises, or even full courses.

- work on your project(s). This may take some creativity if corona has forced you to stop collecting patient data (this is the case for me!) or if you can't carry out part of the project because it involves having contact with people.

think about using services such as G**gle Meet (easy to use since most people already have an account)

find ways to do something useful from home. I started learning how to code, so that eventually when we have collected data I have a program ready that is customized for my research and easy to work with. Another option is to have contact with people online instead of in person, e.g. if you were doing interviews or questionnaires. If you really can't do the work that you used to do from home, then find something you can do at home now to support your project in the future!

- perhaps you have to wait for other people before you can move on with what you were doing (e.g. an official message from the university or your teacher). That's okay: just keep yourself busy, preferably with activities that are good for you! Ideas:

reading a book

learning a language

moving a little bit (maybe take a walk outside or do yoga in your living room?)

doing stuff you never really have time for but that probably should be done at some point, like cleaning the microwave or gardening. Surely you can think of something you've been putting off forever! :)

4. Help Those In Need

Direct ways to help:

- volunteer to babysit for families who work in healthcare & have to be at work more than usual

- send your (grand)parents a card or a small care package. The elderly tend to get lonely faster than adults, especially now they might not be allowed visits anymore.

- volunteer to offer your services, whatever they may be (I've seen 'concerts at a distance', and medical students helping out in the hospital and public health department)

Perhaps even more important: indirect ways

- as for panic buying: do not buy much more than you need in the supermarket! It's fine to buy what you need for up to a week or two in case you get sick or need to self-quarantine. Be aware that even if you need to stay at home, you will still be allowed to go to the supermarket once a week or so, or you can have other people deliver groceries at your door. This means: buy a reasonable amount of toilet paper (how much is reasonable is depending on how large your household is but try to have enough for a week at home and not more than for two weeks), one package of paracetamol and food for about a week. This should ensure that on the one hand you don't miss out and have to wipe with paper towels, and on the other hand there is enough left for healthcare workers who come home late because of the overtime they have to make in a situation like this. Also, try not to buy stuff you don't need like liters of disinfecting gel, gloves and masks (controversial, I know, but for people who don't have a high risk of exposure, which are most people who don't work in healthcare, social distancing and washing your hands well and often will be sufficient). There can be a shortage of these materials in hospitals where they really need them. People who work in hospitals have a higher risk of exposure to the virus. They need the protection because they need to have close contact with patients and do procedures that cause extra exposure risk.

- don't panic, don't make other people panic. It is said that 80% of infected people won't even notice that they've had corona. Of course the situation can he pretty scary, but if we keep calm and follow official advice and measures, we will get through this as best as we can. Finally: don't forget to enjoy the nice things in life, even if you are stuck at home.

Sincerely,

A European medical student in the midst of the coronacrisis