#Paracelsus ain’t there

[skidcd-megamix]

DAY 5 FRIEND GROUP

Freaks found shopping at Santorini, Greece (fallen prayer, engulfed lives)

[artoriarts]

aba still wields paracelsus as a weapon in human form I think. the transformation didn’t make him any heavier (his leg ain’t always like that, just for the occasion of throwing hands).

[coffee-in-veins]

Day 6: Divination

an entry for darkest prompts promptober 2022

previous days: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

now available on ao3 too

Divination NOUN - the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means.

* * *

Most of the time, Dismas was fine with Reynauld's ungodly - pun definitely intended, probably to his crusader's chagrin - amount of righteous zealotry. More or less. Mostly less. Alright, he learned to tolerate and work around it most of the time, much like the knight in question quickly learned the most effective hair-of-the-dog recipes and the exact tonality of gurgling the highwayman made when he was about to throw up.

The perks of living together for so long, the rogue supposed.

That - and the fact that Dis was usually not in the condition to mop the floor after his benders anyway, and Reynauld was way too goddamn obsessed with cleanliness to wait it out and then punish his companion with scribing dried-up vomit. That was a mercy the rogue tried not to abuse. Often.

However, sometimes even that carefully maintained smooth sailing got a bump on the road, so to speak. Sometimes it was over yet another grand delusion that the Abbot enforced on his parishioners and Rey decided was worth following despite any and all common sense. Other times it was on Dismas when he overindulged in his vices a tad too much and the results varied from lost coin to having to hide in Abbey's cellars from pissed-off adventurers.

But getting peeved over something so small was the new record they've set for themselves.

It all started when Dismas, being the conman that he was, tried to pacify the vestal who was about to lose it by taking her hand and promising her all the things people want to hear in the pear-shaped situation: luck, long life and, since she was quite a looker despite Church's best attempts to make it obscure, love. Lasses loved their promises of love, after all. And it worked - maybe due to the promise, or maybe the human contact, or maybe simply because soon enough they got the fuck out of Ruins. Dis thought that was it - up until a heavy gauntlet landed on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't have done that."

"Diving under that spear? Yeah, I s'ppose I deserved that gash--"

"No," Rey's fingers tensed. "You'll never deserve injury. But divination is a sin."

"Oh please, I just needed t' calm her down, somehow, she seemed too mild for my usual humour," he shrugged, nonchalant, in a hint to just let it slide. "n' hey, it worked."

"You're leading her from the Light's saving grace," the crusader insisted instead, irritated. "You should repent for this sin."

Which, in turn, irked the highwayman.

"Like shite I ain't," and just to be a nuisance, he added. "How would you know? What it yer Light speaks through those?"

Blue eyes squinted, pinning him down. Futile attempt. Dismas never backed away from a challenge.

"Enough. This is bordering on blasphemy. Let's not."

"But it came true."

"Dismas."

"Rey?"

"It was just a coincidence."

"What if it wasn't?"

That seemed to be the last drop. Dis couldn't even blame the other man, really, considering they just came back from Estate's horrors, and Rey was still peeved that they failed to restore desecrated altars.

"Well fine then! If it comes true again, then we'll speak!"

The next time those things came up was when they were sent out to the Weald, and everyone's morale was popping like an unfortunate adventurer's eyes from his skull. When a huge bat flew over the campfire, their new occultist nearly jumped up with his sacrificial knife in hand - but was stopped by Dismas:

"Sit down, it flew t' the east n' over a fire. From where I come, 'tis a good omen," he assured the scholar. "It means a turn for a better or peaceful slumber."

It was painfully obvious for anyone with a grain of common sense that it wasn't, but the distraction worked.

"Where you came from? Oh, I'm interested in rural practices, I actually wrote a study about it--"

This resulted in a heated debate between Paracelsus and the occultist, and by the end of it, both academics were refreshed mentally and happily went to sleep despite leaving the rogue himself with a splitting headache.

Dismas glanced at Rey as the two started snoring but the knight only huffed, pulling him closer, and muttered something about luck. He still muttered that in the morning, when they had the first night of the expedition without an ambush.

Dis never admitted putting up alarms beforehand.

The next thing happened when they lost raiders they were chasing in the Warrens and ended up before two identical corridors. The haphazardly organized party didn't have enough provisions to check both routes. The problem was, if they didn't get the stolen grains back, they might've indirectly started a famine in Hamlet, so there was zero pressure of selecting the right one.

As his crusader argued with William and Damian, Dismas simply took out a coin and tossed it up.

"Are you deciding innocent's fate by a coin flip?" the former sheriff, unsurprisingly, was immediately at his throat. And that was despite his hound being unable to pick up the trail in the stench.

"No, there's mo' t' it," the rogue lied easily, bending down to get the coin back. "It spun before stopping. That usually means finding what's lost."

That was wishful thinking at best. But he did notice trails of heavily loaded carts leading into one of the corridors before throwing the coin in a manner that would've sent it flying that way. Not that he believed much in their luck by that point, but some evidence was better than nothing at all.

Thank fuck it turned out that the trail was fresh and the cart was indeed loaded with bags of foodstuffs instead of piles of desecrated rotting bodies for example.

That evening, after bathing and prayer, Reynauld came to him, offering that same coin with a soft smile:

"So what does your divination say this time?"

Dismas smirked and threw the coin on the bedside crate, and answered without even glancing its way, dark eyes gleaming:

"Shuddup n' come t' bed."

[mdpikachu]

Actually, you know what? I’m bored and it’s clownposting hours, so I’m gonna talk about mephi. ain’t like i post often or anything so I'm gonna go out on several limbs here. no read-mores, we die when we are killed. This got too long, it needs a readmore. slamming post before i stop being happy with any of this.

Mephi’s territory creation and item construction are both alchemy related. We know why (papa Faust), but is this ever... USED? Is this ever used outside of the fgo material books? His bombs absolutely don’t count. (I think he handmakes those personally, and Ticking-kun he had help with. I think pre-servant, making gadgets was a hobby. Irrelevant though.)

~~The matbook comment that he’s a genius. This isn’t new info though. We’ve been knew that one for a while.

~Irrelevant to my point but i thought of it #1: He DOES have a few friends in Chaldea, at least way later on. Moriarty, Rhyme, Enkidu. Running theme? Being artificial in some way, bar Mori, who is merged with a phantom so actually no. he counts kinda. Look, matbook! It’s been partially averted! Sure, Mephi doesn’t have LINES for anyone but his va is EXPENSIVE so you know hwat. ... this entire point is irrelevant to the post i wanted to just say it. WAIT actually on this one too. Abby likes him too, everyone else doesn’t. image just to break up the text block.

~~And I cant skip how happy he was to be running a circus in the casino summer event. In His Element. Good For Him.... I have derailed my derail.

~Irrelevant to my point but I thought of it #2: Sieg also knows what he is. Outside of Mephi’s interlude? I don’t recall him being a homunculi ever being PROPERLY addressed. Maybe the occasional vague comment but never.... Blatantly. actually, this is relevant to my next point hold on. I’m VERY stream of consciousnessing this thought process.

~~There’s a running trend of Mephi just... Doing things, and they’re never formally explained by any of the “I explain things” charries (da Vinci, Sion, Holmes, Romani, etc) or Mephi himself. Getting into Salem (”Visiting hellscapes is a hobby of mine!”). Saying shit he logically shouldn’t know and/or is on tier with shit Phantom says when he manages. (His entire textblock about Salem and gods and whatnot goes here. The whole “hellscapes forsaken by god, no heresy without a deity” thing. Why do you KNOW that?) There’s a separate essay around here somewhere about his innocent monster connecting him directly to the contract demon that, according to the Faust story, has spoken with god, but THIS ISN’T ABOUT THAT. 

~(I do gotta call attention to him claiming to have Faust’s soul in Enkidu’s interlude, though. If that’s true, Implications. Can he write demon contracts? What can he do that we don’t know about?) (Actually, second thought on reviewing, he managed to be in contact with GOETIA. There’s absolutely some demonic clownery happening here.) (last derail here, if he can summon incubi, can he summon merlin????)

~Last derail: If Sieg was able to clock him as a homunculus just on meeting him, who else did? Da Vinci? Goredolf? Paracelsus? London’s Victor Frankenstein? (who absolutely deserved exploding bc Fran Protection Squad. Frankenstein’s Monster Protection Squad. even outside fgo in this house, we love big man, ANYWAY) (also, the christian saints don't chase him down for being, you know, a “demon”, so do they know too??? is he allowed to exist because his character has spoken to the big sky man? uh. derail)

THE POINT I AM TRYING TO LEAD TO #1: Most things about our clown is mostly secrets. In-game bio? Jack shit. His own interlude? Oh, we got information, but we don’t know how HONEST it was. He absolutely lies when he wants to. He loopholes. He knows things. I could derail again with how his hellscape visiting is part of innocent monster and running on demon logic even though he isn’t, but again, not doing that. Mephi is a Secretive Bastard that basically never tells anyone Anything of Value unless it’s Important or if it’d be funny (to him).

POINT I AM LEADING TO #2: There’s no servant in Chaldea that does literally nothing. After getting settled in, they find Jobs. Babysitters, cooks, alchemists, Protag Mental Defense Squad (aka Dantes please take a break), trainers (not pokemon trainers but sure that too actually), Ganesha, doctors, therapists, whatever the hell berserkerlot is doing his best at, you get it. It’s safe to assume what Mephi WANTS to be doing is just being a clown, and he absolutely does that. That’d be a waste of point #1 though.

WHAT IM TRYING TO GET AT IS WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING HE DOES ALCHEMY WORK, PROBABLY SOLO.

I can’t see him tolerating Paracelsus the “hey friend try my potion” for very long. I’m hesitant to count Jekyll as an alchemist (he feels like he should be doing taxes, and Hyde would be starting a garage band) and they don’t get along anyway. Hell, maybe he helped Da Vinci with making Rider Da Vinci bc I think she counts as a homunculus. We don’t KNOW what Mephi does with his time. We don’t know what he DOES. Or what he can actually do, beyond the vague outline in his bio/materials and my ever-favorite 3x buff block, savior of a lot of situations.

Conclusion: Mephi with a job, what sins will he commit? None we’ll see on screen. Ain’t protag’s business. Correct anything because there’s no way in Hell i remememememembered everything important to make these calls.

Topping off with the closest we are getting to santa mephi. look at him!!! with your eyes!!!

[hasishtardoneanythingwrong]

What’s With You And Closets?

Not quite NSFW, but it is NSFW adjacent.

---

"Mo, wha-?"

Val had been making her way to the library, only to find herself pulled into a closet and pinned against the back wall by Mordred, her hand pressed tight over Val's mouth.

Val nodded her agreement, and Mordred uncovered her Master's mouth and tried to take a step back. She had unfortunately chosen a smaller closet, though, and there was little room between the pair.

"Quiet! Just got word from Mash, something's up with Kiara. It's like she's on the prowl, more than normal at least. You gotta stay out of sight, Mash's trying to wrangle her and figure out what her deal is. Till then, you're stuck in here with me."

---

"So... What's with you and hiding us in closets, Mo?"

Val whispered her question, mostly looking to fill the silence. Cramped as they were, it was about the only way Val had to keep herself occupied

"What?"

"I mean, between this and earlier with Artoria..."

"Hey, I'm just using what I got available, not my fault you keep hangin' out by the closets."

"I guess..."

---

"I'm just saying, couldn't you have found something a bit roomier for us?"

"This again? I told ya, ain't my fault this is where I managed to get to ya! An' besides, we're not that cramped."

Mordred pushed up tight against Val, as if to demonstrate her point. Trapped between the wall and Mordred's body, Val couldn't help but get a bit hot at the feel of her girlfriend's skin

"Y-yeah, point made..."

Close as their faces were, it was impossible for Val to miss the evil grin gracing Mordred's face.

"Oh really, is it?"

That was all the warning Val got before Mordred struck. Kissing and biting her way up Val's neck and to her lips, quickly stifling any sounds that might give them away. The only defiance she could give was to wrap her arms around her knight, hands grabbing her ass. Mordred broke off, leaving the pair panting for breath. Before they could go any farther, though, Mash's voice came through on Mordred's radio.

"Mordred, come in. The situation is contained, you are clear to come out now. Repeat, Kiara is contained. Senpai's room is currently off limits, she is currently being restrained by Andersen. Please proceed to Command for a debrief."

"Damn, we'll have to pick this up later. My room, tonight. Understood?"

In a bit of a daze, Val could only nod her agreement.

---

Mash placed a small plastic pot on the table.

"It seems like Kiara is under the effects of a previously unknown alchemical substance. I have Paracelsus examining what was left in the container."

Val picked up the pot, looking at its labeling.

"Vick'xxx?"

"While we don't any hard data yet, it seems to be a potent aphrodisiac. I'm not sure where she found it, or why she would apply it, but the current theory is that the effects should wear off within a few hours. Until then, your room is off limits. Sorry, Senpai."

"It's fine, I'm just, uh... Glad Mo got to me first."

"Of course, me too. I would offer my room for tonight, but it seems like you already have something arranged for tonight. Have fun, I'll drop off something with a higher neck in the morning."

Mash stood up and walked out the door with a cheerful smile, leaving Val rubbing her neck and blushing furiously.

---

A/N: you thought that the Horny Nun was at maximum horny, didn't you. Never forget, she's acting restrained for you. Ever since I saw Vick'xxx, I was considering how it would make Kiara act. And now we know (kinda).

Of course Mordred would notice Val getting hot and bothered. Intuition ain't just a star bomb anymore.

(And Mash isn't bothered, don't worry. Remember, she's the one who hooked up Val and Mo in the first place.)

Tags:

@hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @hasquetzdoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasjalterdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong

[bi-naesala]

Dismas and friends

(I wanted to write something platonic about DD characters, so here we go)

1. Abomination

What Bigby had in mind was to spend a few hours chatting with doctor Paracelsus; not only her new makeshift lab is far enough to be considered an isolated place, and isolated places have become his best friend since the accident, but she is also one of the few people who actually like his presence. Besides, it’s been so long since he could have conversations about science with someone who knows what they’re talking about; it certainly is a breath of fresh air. There’s also the fact that Paracelsus has also a great interest on the other him, but for once he doesn’t mind: if the two of them work together, who knows, maybe they’ll be able to make sense of this and, hopefully, find a way to, if not cure him completely, at least help him control it - though he’d say that he’s gotten better at it over the years.

 He wasn’t certainly expecting to find him.

 Not that there’s anything wrong with the highwayman, but it surely is a surprise to see Dismas - and the irony of that name always brings a smile to Bigby’s lips - leaning over Paracelsus’ working desk while there is no sign of her.

Despite being calmer than he’d be if it was anyone else - Dismas is another who doesn’t have problems with him, unlike some people - all he can manage to blurt out is still a pretty awakard:

“Huh… Should I leave?”

That earns a chuckle from Dismas.

“Hell if I know,” he shrugs, “Doc just took a sample of my blood and she went to study it, said it might take a while.”

“She must’ve found something interesting in it if she’s studying it,” especially considering that during this time of the day they always have their daily chat. Makes him wonder what Dismas has been doing for her to take such an interest.

“Not really,” Dismas replies, scratching his head and looking away, “I got attacked by one of those fungi things and she’s making sure it didn’t infect me or something.” Despite the gravity of the situation, he doesn’t seem particularly preoccupied, though if it’s out of carelessness about his fate or faith on his wellbeing, this Bigby can’t say.

This also makes him realize that the party that had been sent in the weald is back; he completely missed it - not that he likes to hang around the hamlet after all.

“How did it…” He feels like such a fool for asking, but he just wants to know if there has been any dead, even though he doesn’t even remember exactly who went.

“We’re all alive, if that’s what you’re wondering about,” Dismas replies. Saying fine would’ve been too big of a stretch - nobody’s fine here. Alive is enough.

“Oh… that’s good.”

 If Paracelsus is busy, Bigby should leave, and yet he doesn’t move one step. He and Dismas settle in a comfortable silence as they wait for the doctor to be done. At a certain point, Dismas even begins to whistle a song that Bigby doesn’t recognize.

He doesn’t look tense nor guarded, he doesn’t seem to be wary of him even if they’re in such close quarters, which Bigby finds weird. He figured he hasn’t made it this far living as a criminal by blindly trusting everybody, so why doesn’t this apply to the situation they’re in?

Eventually Dismas notices that there’s something going on with him, but his voice isn’t accusatory as he asks:

“Something’s wrong?”

“Why?” Bigby blurts out before he can stop himself, “Why do you treat me like this? Aren’t you afraid?”

 The silence becomes more tense as Dismas looks at him, and Bigby fears that he has overstepped the unsaid boundary that all of them have set, the one where you don’t go asking people about their past. It’s not anger what he sees in Dismas’ eyes however; more than anything, he looks haunted, and Bigby can’t help but to wonder what that gaze hides, what’s going on inside his head.

Then everything goes back to normal. Dismas seems to be back to the land of the living, instead that who knows where and when, and this time, his voice is awfully serious.

“I’ve seen real monsters. You ain’t one.”

Now this is truly curious, and there’s so much more Bigby wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to ruin the mood further.

At least that good natured silence doesn’t take too much time to come back, as they both get back to waiting for Paracelsus, but Bigby’s making a mental note that it’s more than likely that talking to Dismas can be safe too. He’d be even willing to try the tavern for him - everybody knows that’s where he likes to spend his nights. If things go south, he can always make his escape, and who knows, maybe Dismas would be willing to help him.

Yes, today he’ll try to go to the tavern. Been a while since he’s been in one after all.

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Rank the Limited servants(Knight class edition) best to worst: Sabers(Okita , Nero Bride, Void Shiki , Musashi , Proto!Arthur , Sigurd , Beni and Astolfo) , Archers(Gilgamesh, Summer Artoria , Ishtar , Moriarty , Summer Jeanne , Superhuman Orion and Sei Shonagon) and Lancers(Scathach, Brynhildr , Summer Tamamo and Eresh)

…….. I’m not sure if I’m the one to be answering this……. And I can’t vouch for ALL of them because RNG hates me, and depending on who I managed to get. And I’m basing this all on the current Lostbelt difficulty, so opinions may varied which before you kill me if I don’t agree with your waifu and husbando…

Please by all means ignore this post and continue using them

Sabers:

Art ST Spamming: Nero Bride > Beni > Medb. 

Maybe Beni is better, but from skillset I feel Nero bride wins both support and using for herself. 

Medb I put lower due to every FUCKING MSQ Boss fight is having a debuff immunity, but her other 2 skill is decent to help. Spamming not sure, since my criteria for this is based on Lancelot Saber in both CRIT hell and charging of NP

Quicks ST Saber: Astolfo => Okita > Fran

Unless Okita is getting an upgrade, Astolfo for now wins. Excluding stun most are good for both damage and surviving long for Lostbelt hell. 

Okita as I’m still using her… Still Ok with Skadi’s support, which both are. 

Fran… Not sure why to me, tricky to use and her demerit outweighs more… Which extremely dangerous to survive in Lostbelt situations

Buster ST Saber: Musashi=Sigurd

Both are situational to me. Musashi is more for general Bosses while Sigurd is more towards Boss with Dragon-traits. 

But Musashi may be more preferred, since Sigurd you’ll need to bring best boi George to debuff enemy with Dragon trait. Both have good surviving skills of invincibility and guts respectively

AOE Sabers: Arthurs > Void

Because everywhere in every Lostbelt will at least have one fucking Large-trait monster to deal with. And Arthur having a now crit strengthen, hits enemy real hard without his AOE NP. 

Void, unless she get one more buff for her AOE damage… You can still bring her mobs to insta-kill, but you’re going to time when to heal because her third skill drains quite an amount of NP

===

Archers:

Arts ST Archers: Orion => Artoria

Both are good at spamming their NP… But let’s face it, it’s a Grand Servant vs normal Servant. His whole skillset + NP outwins King Golden Asshole says pretty much how wanted he’ll be when his own banner returns again. And GSSR will be hell to get him among all the other Archers. But if you have, you’re a lucky bastard to have them and I want your luck right now!

Calamity Jane: I haven’t got the chance to use her… But if your team isn’t the kind that generates 30 stars minimum per turn, you can still get up to evasion from her skill. She’s very situational because it all dependant on the turn you want to use of how many stars you have. Otherwise, NP skill of ignore evasion is more than welcome on those evading bosses

Buster ST Archers: Fujino > Moriarty > Anne & Mary

Fujino: NP gain not much of an issue if you have her first skill up, good survivability of defense and mainly guts, NP also hit hard with main focus on buff block on the turn when enemy boss buff themselves like ignore invincibility before using their NP… But now can be dependant if the boss is not permanent buff with debuff immunity

Moriarty: After his strengthening, it’d be best for 2nd skill > 3rd skill to fully utilize his support buff in the team. But he’s dependant with a min of 10 stars to activate his skill. His NP hits even better with his first skill, helping to generate stars along the way. But has a problem of surviving so you’ll need support to keep him alive

Anne & Mary: Unless you have guts buff on them via third skill/support/Mystic code, LB’s situation ain’t that welcoming in terms of enemy doing higher amount of damage to them before they could use their NP. Glass canon with decent NP gain similar to their Rider version… I’d say not impossible if you have the relative Servants, but it’ll be very risky to be able to utilize to their fullest

AOE NP Servants: Gilgamesh = Ishtar > Osakabehime = Sei Shonagon = Jeanne > Helena

Gilgamesh: As the oldest king got dethrone on damage output for overall limited Archers… You still gonna need him, which unless really been datamined, as majority of the Servants are weak to Enuma Elish, including himself. Still a strongest hitter for AOE output like Ishtar. And getting him signifies you wasted this year whole luck, and subsequent SSR after him are just you selling your soul to the devil

Ishtar: The goddess which Archer Gil no doubt want to have her head. And with her strengthening and good support team, she can hit real hard as Gilgamesh. Just remember to time her 3rd skill well before the usage of your NP preferably too

Sei, Osakabehime, Jeanne: They are mainly used as a support with a decent hit of their NP. 

Jeanne: Jeanne onee-chan with self invinciblity, Arts + NP damage + Crit if your field waterside and attack buff to Good Alignment Servants if your roster is them mainly. Plus Onee-chan beam can give crit stars by overcharge for 3 turns.

Osakabehime: A bit tricky by 2nd skill, if you’re running with a ST NP servant in, you’ve got 3 turns to deal with that one target, unless said target remove the debuff themselves. Decent damage dealing, but otherwise she’s your good support Archer to have

Sei: She may be higher than both Jeanne and Osakabehime, with decent amount of Servants who are Neutral and/or Man Attributes. A great support Archer for both her party and herself with all three of her skills and decent NP damage.

Helena: Similar to her Caster version, she’s got NP charge to support your team. But unfortunately she’s got low NP gain and damage, which many other Archer outclassing her. Slightly better in terms of cooldown, but unfortunately her most important 1st skill takes the longest cooldown. You’re probably better off with other AOE NPs Archer for farming

===

Lancers:

ST NP: Scathach > Raikou > Tamamo no Mae = Brynhildr > Ibaraki > Kiyohime

Scathach: Together with her Caster version, she’s definitely one of the most welcome ST NP against Divine Enemies. While insta-death is obviously useless in MSQ fights, her stun is useful but situational if debuff immunity isn’t there. Her first skill may be RNG, but evade is still there for surviving in boss fight

Raikou: A strong case of Glass canon, but her damage outweighs over her lack of defense buff. With strong support skillset for self and both party, she’s definitely one of your best general-trait boss killer against their insane stacks of defense buff. With Summer BB in for support + star generator CE, her whole self is fully otmpized for a painful buster brave or just brave chain itself to the enemy boss

Tamamo no Mae: Strong hitting Anti-male NP with decent support skill set. But in regards to her demerit, you’ll need to time right of when to use unless you have her up on debuff immunity and debuff remover ready. And for her second skill, make sure you have your defensive skill ready if said enemy Servant are near to full NP bar

Brynhildr: One of the good supports for star generation and skillset wise. NP damage while it hits hard, it’s situational because not every Servant we’ve seen is Brynhildr’s Beloved trait

Ibaraki: With SO MANY GOD-DAMN-FUCKING-HELL Servants having defense buff, she’s one with the most welcoming ignore defense to beat shitless out of them. Decent skillset but third skill is really your RNG hating or loving you. Especially worst if you’re facing an enemy who enjoys throwing debuff at your team. Demerit of her NP I feel isn’t that much of a problem, unless you’re also relying her to do star generation. But she does make it up with overcharge of crit stars, which if you’re a whale, best to have it at NP5

Kiyohime: Despite a strong hitting NP, she’s got a problem for NP gain and debuff kit is really dependant… Which now not in her favor again: Debuff Immunity. And lacks of defense and survivability for herself… Especially most mobs are Berserker or mixed class mobs

AOE NP: Romulus Eresh = Melt

Romulus: Yep, our lord and savior. Even with his release.... He’s actually tied with Eresh. Both have the same strong support + defense + overkilling NP with their own support with them (especially pair with Boudica ironically, but gender buff don’t work on Roma via datamine and lore reason). Romulus mainly boils down to his Roman trait debuff stacking on his enemies... But both Eresh and Romulus shares the same problem in current Lostbelt hell: 

Ignore Invincibility

Buff Block

Buff Removal

Debuff removal

Debuff Removal Success Rate (ask DW fucking why)

Debuff Immunity variations

And both play a different role at the end, depending on which you prefer. If you’re looking for a more support-oriented SSR Lancer, Ereshkigal is your girl. If you’re looking for a more AOE ROMA Overkilling Stacking NP, the lord and savior will answer your call.

Eresh: By far still the best AOE NP Limited Servant to have, with both strong party support, surviving yet decent AOE Damage dealing NP but mainly enough for farming. However, she’ll need support on NP gain if you’re planning to do spamming out of it. Though once she do get an NP damage buff by chance… She’s going to become one of the most wanted limited SSR Lancers

Melt: Again, her second effect NP is one of the more welcoming to have in LB hell hole: ignore defense. Her first effect is only activated if you have her 2nd skill active, which is really crucial. Skillset is pretty good, and with NP being Arts, you can have it both spamming and crit hell to your enemies. But do note when you use her third skill, your other 2 Servants’ NP is drain quite a number as she charged herself… So her on double Tamamo team or Tamamo + Casgil + Paracelsus… You get your catch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9tJH9HDEyc

[luvielle]

HOY HAHAHA ITS 3 IN THE MORNING AND I NEED SLEEP CUZ I WAKE UP AT 8 AM.

Okay.

So.

Yesterday (a few hours ago before I went to bed), I was researching about the four elements of alchemy by Paracelsus, as well as the elements associated with the four card suits.

And then.

I remembered how in Black Clover (one of my current obsessions- its a great manga, I recommend) they have the four spirits/elementals.

And the card suits, right.

Fuegoleon Vermilion is from the Clover Kingdom and formed a contract with the spirit of fire, Salamander.

Undine, the spirit of water has a long standing contract with the princesses and queens of the Heart Kingdom.

Yuno (the sassy pretty boi who def is pining over Asta; I dare anyone to change my mind), who from recent chapters was revealed to be from the Spade Kingdom, has Sylph aka Bell aka the small annoying voice aka the spirit of wind.

This would mean that the spirit of earth, Gnome, would be from the Diamond Kingdom.

Or idk. Depends on how Tabata-sensei goes about with the story.

Hahaha I need sleep.

But boi, I ain't getting this out of my mind for a while.

Idk if anyone already made this theory??

Just had a late night/early morning thought.

[fuwafuwamedb]

Embarrassing Photos (Mordred, Jekyll)

Just a quick picture.

That had been his undoing, his crime against humanity. Nevermind the evil side of himself and all the dangers that Hyde presented. Clearly, obviously, the picture was the problem.

“What is this?”

She held up the picture, scowling at him.

“That’s a picture of you in the morning,” Jekyll replied.

It was a cute picture of her.

The knight of the round table was always waking up so softly, her blonde hair undone and her expression so tender looking. He liked the flush to her cheeks, the way her lips were parted and bruised from a series of soft sweet nothings the night before. She’d open those eyes and look over at him with the smallest of smiles, making his chest warm and his heart palpitate.

That was the moment he had saved.

That was the picture he had taken.

Lord, but that gentle look had done him in. It was what made him smile when he would get calls from horrible people Hyde had associated with. It was what made him feel motivated when Gudako contacted him to come to do training.

“So you like taking pictures of people when they’re unaware, huh?” Mordred dangled his phone in front of him. “Think this is funny?!”

Oh no.

He knew that look.

He should have changed his password on his phone.

The pictures came in with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. Him taking a nap with the kids. Him getting the ingredients wrong in his lab and having something overflow. Him spilling his tea because Mordred left something on the floor.

Picture after picture came his way.

He balked at each one.

He winced at the look of shock.

Each time a picture came to his phone, he sent her back the same image.

Her asleep.

“OI OI!” Mordred slammed the door open, catching him changing. She held up her phone. “You’re supposed to do it back!”

“Do what back?”

“The photo thing!”

“The photo thing?”

What the bloody hell was she on about? He had had enough of her photos to be honest. They were always humiliating. They were always insulting.

“You got a shot of me bein’ dumb. I got shots of you. You need to send different ones!”

“Being- Mordred,” Jekyll glared at her, fixing his nightgown into place. “That picture is not dumb! It is a marvelous photograph. It shows you being as you are, with no airs or pretenses. It shows the face of the woman that I’m happy to wake up next to! It is by no means a dumb ‘shot’ as you call it. It is one of my favorite gifts that you have given me!”

He climbed into bed, leaving her to stand there in the center of the room.

“…Jekyll.”

In the morning, he could entertain her. He was tired. It had been a long and trying day.

“…Jekyll… Oi…”

The bed dipped. There were arms on his shoulder, nudging him slightly.

More movement.

He could feel her arms wrapping around him, cuddling him closer. She slipped right between his arms, her forehead pressing to his.

“Oi. Answer me.”

“Yes, Mordred?”

He opened one eye.

“…No, open them both,” she growled.

He sighed, opening his other eye and looking at her.

“…Take a photo… with me tomorrow…”

Her face was- Jekyll stared at the pinkening color that was forming on her face.

“Truly?” He asked.

“If you’re gonna have a dumb picture, then I want a dumb picture. I’ll get one of us with you in your lady gown.”

“It’s a nightgown, Mordred. Many men wear them.”

“Yeah,” She smirked at him. “I ain’t seen any ‘cept you wear one.”

Hastie and the lord help him. He loved a fool.

Jekyll sighed, shaking his head.

They could still do a couple photograph together. It would be quite cute for them to have a picture together.

“If you don’t like how it turns out, we could try taking selfies,” he offered. “I’ve heard that they can be entertaining according to some of the other servants.”

“Eh, I ain’t that vain, Jekyll.” Mordred turned, scooting herself up against him. “You get your one picture… and your embarrassing one of me.”

“I really love how you look in it.”

She hummed.

He’d leave it. She would probably become difficult if he tried to make her like it. Smiling, Jekyll kissed her shoulder.

“I look forward to our one photo.”

Which turned into many, since the knight seemed to have a bit of vanity to her after all.

Jekyll smiled at her group picture with the knights, sitting with Paracelsus.

“Hmm?”

“She’s gotten into selfies,” Jekyll informed the man.

“I see that. You know you need to send some back, correct?”

“Yes, I do. Come here, Paracelsus. I want to get one back to her quickly.”

[layce2015]

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Chapter 8: The Blind Pig

*3rd PERSON POV*

Tina leads the four of you down an insalubrious back alley covered in bins, crates, and discarded objects. She locates a set of steps leading to a basement apartment and motions you, Newt, Jacob and Queenie down. The steps lead to, what appears to be, a dead end: the doorway has been bricked up. Instead, a poster of a simpering debutante in an evening dress, gazing at herself in a mirror, covers the end of the walkway. Tina and Queenie stand in front of this, turn to each other and, in unison, raise their wands.

As they do so, their work clothes transforms into stunning flapper party dresses. Newt hastily magics himself a bow tie and you raise your wand as well and change from a button up shirt and black pants to a beautiful (fave color) dress. Queenie gazes at Jacob, a cheeky smile on her face as Tina steps towards the poster and knocks four times.

As she knocks, Queenie looks over at Newt and sees he has a look of amazement and awe on his face. And he was staring at none other than you. She looks amazing! Beautiful, actually! Queenie hears in Newt's mind. She smiles to herself as the hatch opens: the painted eye of the debutante whip back to reveal the gaze of a suspicious guard.

****

After getting clearance, the five of you walk into the seedy, low-ceilinged speakeasy, where every down and out of New York's magical community come to unwind. A glamorous goblin jazz singer croons on a stage full of goblin musicians, smoky images wafting from her wand to illustrate her lyrics:

​​​​​​The Phoenix cried fat tears of pearl  

When the dragon snapped up his best

girl,

And the Billywig forgot to twirl

When his sweetheart left him cold,

And the unicorn done lost his horn,

And the Hippogriff feels all forlorn,

Cause their lady loves have upped and 

gawn,

Or that's what I've been told

As the singing continues, Jacob stand by a seemingly unmanned bar, waiting to be served. "How do I get a drink in this joint?" He asked, aloud, when a thin bottle of brown liquid zooms towards him, out of nowhere, he catches it, stunned. The head of a house-elf peers up at him from behind the bar. "What? Ain't you ever seen a house-elf before?" The elf asked him, eyeing him suspiciously. "Oh, no, yeah, no, yeah, of course I have....I love house-elves. My uncle's a house-elf." Jacob said, trying to act nonchalant about it as he removes the cork from the bottle.

The house-elf, not fooled, raises himself up, leaning against on the bar to stare at Jacob as you and Queenie approach the bar. "Six shots of gigglewater, please." Queenie said, looking downcast. "And a lobe blaster, please." You ordered and the house-elf shuffles off to fulfill the request.

Queenie and Jacob look at each other while you look around the bar. "Are all No-Majs like you?" Queenie asked him. "No, I'm the only one like me." Jacob replied trying to sound serious and almost seductive as he reaches over and takes one of the gigglewater shots.

Maintaining strong eye contact with Queenie, Jacob knocks back a shot and emits a raucous, high pitched giggle. You snorted and cover your mouth with your hand as Queenie laughs, sweetly, at him.

Across the room, Newt, who can't help but stare at you, and Tina are sitting at a table alone. "I've arrested half of the people in here." Tina said, looking around the bar, and Newt turns his attention to her. "You can tell me to mind my own business....but (Y/N) and I saw something in that death potion back there. We saw you hugging that Second Salem boy." He said as Tina moves her gaze from him, looking off to the side.

She lets out a deep breath and said. "His names Credence. His mother beats him. She beats all those kids she adopted, but she seems to hate him the most."

 "And she was the No-Maj you attacked?" Newt asked her.

"That's how I lost my job. I went for her in front of a meeting of her crazy followers---they all had to be Obliviated. It was a big scandal." She finished as Gnarklak emerged from the depths of the speakeasy, smoking a cigar and smartly dressed for a goblin.

He eyes the newcomers as he walks over to Tina's and Newt's table and sits down. "So you're the guy with the case full of monsters, huh?" He asked Newt. "News travels fast. I was hoping you'd be able to tell me if there have been any sightings. Tracks. That sort of thing." Newt replied as Gnarlak downs his drink and a house-elf brings him a document to sign.

"You and that lady friend of yours have a big price on your heads, Mr Scamander. Why should I help you instead of turnin' you in?" He asked.

"I take it I'll have to make it worth your while?" Newt asked him as the house-elf scurries off, holding the signed document.

"Hmm--let's consider it a cover charge." Gnarlak said. Newt pulls out a couple of Galleons and slides them across the table toward the goblin, who barely looks up. "Huh---MACUSA's offerin' more 'n that." He said, unimpressed.

Newt, then, pulls out a beautiful metal instrument and places it on the table. "Lunascope? I've got five." Gnarlak said as he continues to smoke his cigar. Newt rummages in his coat pocket and pulls out a glowing, frozen ruby egg instead. "Frozen Ashwinder egg!" He said.

As he was doing this, you decided to walk over to them and sit next to Newt. "You see--now we're---" Gnarlak said, now sounding like he is interested, but stops when he sees Pickett poking out of Newt's pocket. "Wait a minute! Is that a Bowtruckle?" He asked, pointing at the creature. "What?" You ask as Newt places his hand over his pocket, protecting the creature. He turns to the goblin and said. "No. Absolutely not!"

"Come on. They pick locks, am I right?" The goblin said.

 "You're not having him" Newt said. Gnarlak gets up from his chair and said."Well, good luck gettin' back alive, Mr Scamander and Miss (L/N), what with the whole of MACUSA on your backs."

He starts to walk away until....

"Wait!" You shouted and the goblin stops in his track. "Take me instead." You said while the goblin smiles evily.

"What? No! Absolutely not, (y/n)!" Newt said, quickly.

"I'll take Pickett's place." You said.

"Well, well, well." The goblin said as Newt shakes his head at you, feeling like his heart being ripped out. "Don't do this, (y/n)." He said, shakily.

You give him a small smile and kiss his cheek. "Find the rest of our creatures and get out of New York safely." You whisper in his ear and then you get up from your chair and walk over to the goblin. "Take me instead, I can do so much for your little pub but only if you tell him what he needs to know." You said. The goblin looks at you, smiling viciously, then snaps his fingers as two more goblins come up next to him.

"Boys, take our new girl to the back and have her ready for her first day on the job." He said as the two hench-goblins grab your arms and take you away from Newt, who looks away and wipes tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Beautiful....anyway somethin' invisible's been wreakin' havoc around Fifth Avenue. You may wanna check out Macy's department store. Might help with what you're looking for." Gnarlak said as Newt sniffs and clears his throat, trying to compose himself even though he feels empty without you there. He was kicking himself for not admitting his true feelings towards you sooner.

"Right." He said, croaky. "Oh, one last thing. There's a Mr Graves who works at MACUSA---I was wondering what you knew of his background." He said to Gnarlak, who stares at him.

"You ask too many questions, Mr Scamander. That can get you killed." The goblin said when suddenly someone screamed. "MACUSA ARE COMING!!"

And a bunch of house-elves Disapparate. Tina gets to her feet and glares at Gnarlak. "You tipped them off!" She said angrily. Gnarlak chuckles menacingly as wanted posters of you, Newt and Tina appear on the wall. Aurors begin Apparating as Jacob saunters up to Gnarlak. "Sorry, Mr Gnarklak--" Jacob said and he punches the goblin straight in the face, knocking him backward. Queenie looks at him, delighted. "Reminds me of my foreman!" Jacob replied as Newt stands up and runs towards the back. 

Meanwhile, as the goblins brought you to the back you hear someone shouting about the MACUSA coming and you turn around and face the goblins. "So sorry about this." You said, sincerely, and you whip your wand out and shouted. "Stupefy!" And blast the goblins away. You smile to yourself as you open the door and run out of the room. "NEWT!" You shout as you run and suddenly you collide with something solid.

You look up and see the familiar green eyes. "Newt." You said, smiling. "(Y/N)! Thank Paracelsus you're okay!" He said as the both of you hug each other and he kisses the top of your head. Tina, Queenie and Jacob come up behind him and the five of you met up and Disapparate. 

[fate-grandorder-imagines]

Request list

Basically all the requests I’ve received and accepted so far ^^ Ahhh I’m so so happy to see all your ideas and requests and hope that I can do a good job at answering them! 

Thank you angels ♡ (especially for all the fluffffff)

Gilgamesh + catching his master wearing his clothes

Paracelsus relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Iskandar + video games

Lan-chan, I meant Lancelot relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Alexander + Iskandar interactions

Edward Hyde relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Mordred birthday headcanons

Mini Cu-Chan headcanons

Edmond Dantes + Master with self-confidence issues

Beowulf relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Romani Archaman + s/o that used to be an idol

Amakusa x Semiramis

Oda Nobunaga relationship headcanons

SCENARIO: Emiya (Assassin) - fluff/smut? I haven’t decided yet fufufu

Ozymandias NSFW + aftercare headcanons - for Nefertari tho, hey I ain’t stealing another woman’s husband ;)

Karna + cooking for his master

Fatherly Gramps, I mean King Hassan headcanons

Cuddling with the Cu’s

Set of headcanons of my choice for a servant of my choice (thank you ♡)

Salter dating headcanons

Karna + master getting turned into a child

Waver - romantic fluff

Achilles + Cu Chulainn bromance headcanons

Cu Chulainn (Caster) + overhearing his master’s feelings for him

Diarmuid/Cu Chulainn reactions to Master with bad eyesight (ain’t that me tho)

Gilgamesh (Caster) + master getting lost together

Mata Hari + reactions to receiving grails

Merlin + receiving a confession from his drunk Master

Mozart + master playing his songs on the piano + crush

Moses + crush

Jeanne + Jeanne (Alter) + Jalter Lily

Solomon + pampering his master (like the world is going to end - oh hey, it did^^)

Emiya not taking any shit with your garbage diet

Shakespeare + master that is his descendant

Gawain relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Gilgamesh (Caster) + date in Uruk 

Mordred + female s/o relationship headcanons

Cu Chulainn (Caster) + s/o almost dying

Sieg-kun headcanons

Amakusa Shirou + marriage headcanons

Medea relationship headcanons (SFW & NSFW)

Archimedes relationship headcanons 

Amakusa Shirou falling asleep on your lap

Galahad headcanons (hehe actually I’ve already been writing for him in secret because there is such a lack of prompts for him but still thanks for requesting him ;))

Tamamo Cat relationship headcanons

Mash relationship headcanons

KotR + getting called “my love” for the first time

Cu Chulainn (Caster) relationship headcanons

Robin Hood NSFW headcanons

Cu Chulainn (Alter) + Master getting injured on the battlefield

Achilles + Chiron parenting headcanons

Karna parenting headcanons

Cu Chulainn (Lancer) + Master adopting adopting a puppy and mini Cu-chan

Dantes + marriage headcanons

Merlin fluff headcanons

Bedivere + confession headcanons

Yan Qing + sick master

Arthur + first time (NSFW)

Arthur + marriage headcanons 

Hessian Lobo + affectionate master

Cu + Gil + Emiya going to the beach

Cu Chulainn (Caster) & Cu Chulainn (Prototype) + pocket sized Master

laughs like a maniac

Here i go down again  (｡•̀ᴗ-)و ̑̑✧

- Mod Silver

[anhtu199xnxx]

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It really depends who I am talking to but I tend to default to “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays”. If I know they are Jewish, Atheist, Hindu, or some other non-Christian group I might lean towards “Happy Holidays” but I have really never known someone to be offended by a good faith, warm-hearted “Merry Christmas”. Those people usually wish me a “Merry Christmas” and I always see it as a Santa Claus Supreme shirt of good will and am therefore grateful for it, even though I am an Atheist. There one notable exception: If someone is making a big deal about “this is America, we say MERRY CHRISTMAS” then it tends to get on my nerves. The whole War on Christmas thing is utterly absurd and there are a bunch of culture warriors out there who think that they are really sticking it to whoever to forcefully brandish everything Christmas like a weapon. It just makes you look insecure. This is part of a larger trend in America of politicizing EVERYTHING and using it as a wedge. Why wouldn’t a holiday focused on love, togetherness, peace on earth and goodwill towards men be an opportunity to sow division? Also, why make a big show of excluding people who celebrate other holidays? Again, just goes back to simple human respect and courtesy. Pretty basic. If you disrespect the holidays of others, people will be less inclined to respect your holiday.

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Elf is an old Germanic word for Santa Claus Supreme shirt supernatural beings. Often of great beauty and associated with seducing mortals, or causing disease. Later writers associated elves with small mischievous fairies. Elves came to be Father Christmas’s toy making workforce. The tale of the Elves and the Shoemaker also drew on this maker association of elves. Dwarfs were also Germanic, but especially common in Norse folklore. They typically lived underground and were associated with smithing and crafting. The word dwarf also came to mean a real little person, especially if they have dwarfism, which means a range of genetic syndromes associated with short stature and disproportionately short limbs. The word Gnome was invented by Paracelsus in the 16th century for an earth spirit. It came to mean a small underground dwelling creature, perhaps overlapping with dwarfs. Gnome also became associated with the decorative figures people have in their gardens.

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No, the Santa Claus Supreme shirt who get angry about that phrase are people who are phony christians who think that “happy holidays” is offensive and they get pissy and claim that nobody can say merry Christmas anymore. There are more people who really don’t give a damn what you say as long as you’re nice. I happen to have a brother who gets all pissy and aggressive over the stupid phrase merry Christmas. He has said, “ain’t nobody ever gonna to tell me I can’t say merry Christmas” and I keep telling him that he’s a dumbass and nobody has ever told him he can’t say it. Businesses Have their employees refrain from saying that because you don’t know what religion someone is and you don’t know how their Christmas season affects them. It’s not all about Christmas.

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[bluraaven]

Smoke and Mirrors

Chapter 3

"What a shithole."

Reynauld put down the bag that contained their collected 'evidence' and followed Guyot's gaze.  He wasn't sure if his friend was referring to the condition of the room before or after they'd been through it, or to the motel as a whole.  Somehow it was impossible to imagine that it had ever seen better times.  It was a shabby place, where electric outings were the norm, and where the rooms were in worse shape than most of the prison cells he had seen.  

Through the grimy windows and broken shutters only a little light managed to find its way to illuminate the sad pile that were their meagre findings.

On the upside, the prosecution had sanctioned the raid almost as soon as they could pinpoint a location.  On the downside, it was only a partial success.  They had some of Dismas' belongings now, but they did not have the man himself.  The Chief had wanted a bust, and now all they had to show for it was a duffel bag full of clothes and a few toiletries.

"What do we have here?" Despite her being hidden behind the sofa, there was no mistaking the excitement in Lin's voice.   She laughed, then held up a flat object, waving it around triumphantly.

"What's that?"  Guyot asked, his eyes narrowing in an attempt to make out what it was their colleague had found.

"A notebook." Lin said, climbing back to her feet with a huge grin.

"Good work!" Reynauld praised with a smile of his own.  This had to be the best find yet.  Trust the sniper to find something good.  "Is that everything?"

"Yes," Lin confirmed.  "I was hoping to find a data stick too, or a CD, but no.  Only the laptop, and of course it would be hidden in the last place left," she huffed.  "So what do we do now?"

So far they had checked under the rug for hidey holes, they'd moved all the furnishings to check the spaces behind them; and finally they had taken apart some of the furniture.  There wasn't an inch left that had not had at least two police officers check it for something that might help their case.

"Bag it," Reynauld decided with a nod at the notebook, "And let's wrap this up."

"On it," Lin answered.  "I'll tell the others we're all done."  She pulled out her radio and disappeared through the doorway.  Reynauld nodded absent-mindedly, taking one last look at the room.  There was no telling that there had been a squad digging through it.  Everything was back in its place, and the room looked exactly as it had when they had arrived – minus any trace of its former occupant.

"Think he'll come back?" Guyot asked quietly.

"He would be stupid if he did," Reynauld responded, not at all alarmed by Guyot's mind-reading abilities.  After being friends for as many years as they had been, he had learned to live with Guyot's occasional bouts of clairvoyance.  "And we have been told he's anything but."

There was no point in waiting around.  Reynauld closed the door, and made for the staircase.  They would discreetly station a few police officers here, but Dismas had proven himself to be good enough at evading the authorities that there was not much hope of him returning to this place after their less-than-subtle approach.

"I guess the Chief makes mistakes too," Guyot dared to speak up when they were halfway down to the lobby.

"It wouldn't have hurt him to listen to me," Reynauld growled.  He refrained from hitting the rail, because it might actually come undone and kill someone on the ground floor.  Which would mean even more work for him.  "We could have had Paixdecoeur behind bars by now!  Why put me in charge if he was going to- ," he paused and made a vague motion in the air with his hand, "fuck it all up anyway."  Reynauld's shoulders slumped, most of the anger gone now.

He had opposed the raid from the start.  If he'd had a choice, Reynauld would have dealt with the matter the exact same way they did most undercover work.  Take the time to prepare and to verify their target was here.  And then strike before they guy knew what hit him.

"Hey," Guyot said, giving Reynauld's shoulder a pat.  "We'll get him.  He can't run forever."

Unless he had another hideout somewhere.  The one thing they had not found was money.  That meant that Dismas was not only smart enough not to trust the cleaning staff, it also meant he may have prepared for this very case.  If he packed up and left the country, they had no chance of picking up the trail.

"Meanwhile," Guyot lifted the bag that contained the notebook Lin had found, "What do you think we'll find?" he asked with a grin and a waggle of his eyebrows.

"I'll let you find out," Reynauld sighed.  

Back at the station, Dismas' clothing was searched for weapons or illegal substances, of which neither was found.  It was merely old and worn, but not making him guilty of any crime other than a bad sense of fashion.   Forensics identified Dismas' toiletries as soap and toothpaste – the latter being Wintry Spearmint by Dentacare, as one of Paracelsus' lab assistants was happy to inform Reynauld before asking if he wanted a spit sample (they'd already ran an unauthorized DNA test for reasons unbeknownst to any mortal).

Reynauld thanked him, declined the kind offer, and then backed out of the office without dropping eye contact until he was safe behind the doorsill.

From there on it was back to his office via a detour by the coffee machine, and then on to where Guyot was sitting bent over the notebook.  An old, scratched animal rights sticker that Reynauld had not noticed before indicated that the computer may not always have belonged to Dismas.

"What have you found so far?" he asked, leaning against the desk.

Guyot cast him a dark look, and Reynauld found his spirits lifting marginally.  There was nothing quite as good at improving one's mood as putting someone else in a bad one.

"A lot of steamy guy on guy action," Guyot replied, "and I have to look through every goddamn file, just in case there's something hidden there."

Reynauld hummed and took a sip of his coffee.  "Have fun."

"Ain't that more up your alley?" Guyot snapped, so Reynauld flipped him off, and left him to his work.  

It was a couple of hours later when Reynauld decided to make another round to see what progress had been made.  The sun was rising, streaking the black sky with ribbons of orange and pink, but except for those who had been on the raid or worked the night shift the bureau was still mostly deserted.

That excluded forensics and IT of course, but the current belief was those guys never slept anyway.

Lin, Ros and Stanley handed in their reports, and this time, instead of giving his attitude, Guyot looked at Reynauld with the woeful eyes of a suffering puppy.  So Reynauld took pity and grabbed an empty seat, deciding to keep his friend some company.

"Anything new?"

"Who even names their porn folder 'PORN'?" Guyot complained, but apparently he had found nothing incriminating.

Reynauld shrugged and looked at the screen where two guys were having a quick tumble in the shower.  And by quick he meant quick, because the video was playing at triple speed, which made it rather amusing to watch.  

Guyot told him about his plans to move together with Lucy, his girlfriend of two years, and Reynauld listened, making the appropriate noises at the appropriate time, and stealing a discreet look at the screen every now and then.

Secretly – because he would die if that thought was ever spoken aloud – he had to admit that Dismas didn't have the worst taste in erotica.  At least all the couples seemed to be genuinely enjoying what they were doing.

Eventually, Guyot sighed and rubbed his temples, and then hit the pause button.  He snorted at the frozen image of one of the actor's private area and slapped the laptop shut.

Reynauld just hoped that sometime before he had made sure that it was not password protected, or they'd have to take it to IT.

They decided to grab a coffee, even though it was a terrible idea because night shift was almost over, and Reynauld rather looked forward to going home and falling into bed face-first.

As it turned out, they were not the first ones to arrive at the kitchen.

"Hey, Lin," Guyot said, waiting until she ha d refilled the coffee machine before brewing a cup for Reynauld and for himself.  "What's up, Para?"

Paracelsus worked in forensics, and was officially forbidden to come within thirty feet of the kitchen without a police officer accompanying her.  There had been one too many cases of someone taking a spontaneous nap after having a cup of coffee, and it had taken the entire PD and a restraint order to convince her to keep her experiments to the inmates.

The doctor with her white lab coat always looked a bit out of place.  She had a slight hunch and large eyes, amplified by her glasses which gave her the appearance of a giant bird.

Reynauld was happy to sit down on the worn but comfy couch and to sip his coffee.  It tasted burned.  He waved off Para's offer of yellow and blue pills ("harmless stimulants, I swear!") and zoned out, letting Guyot and Lin do most of the talking.

"Hey doc, that girlfriend of yours isn't she – " Lin asked suddenly, and Reynauld realized he had long since stopped following the conversation.

"A critically acclaimed archaeology professor?" Para interrupted, wringing her hands.  "Yes!  Yes, she is."

"Is that a mugshot?"  Guyot asked, stretching to see something Paracelsus was holding, and while doing so he jostled Reynauld, who only narrowly avoided spilling his coffee into his lap.  It had grown cold, and he put the practically full mug away.

"No!" Para squealed, pulling away her precious photograph from curious hands and prying eyes.  "It's a driver's licence picture."

"Okay," Guyot laughed.  "Easy there, doc.  Ain't my business whom you date."

"What time is it?" Lin yawned.

"Two minutes past five," Para answered, after checking a silver wristwatch. Reynauld had never seen her wear one before, but then maybe it had been hidden by the floppy lab coat.

"One more hour," Guyot moaned.  "Someone shoot me please.  No thanks, Para."

"It's just something to induce a harmless coma-like state that is perfectly revertible with a shot of –," Paracelsus broke off as no one was listening to her anyway and pocketed the tiny and innocent-looking pink pill with obvious disappointment.

Most the hour passed in a stupor that ended abruptly when they received a paged message from downstairs that the first officers of the day shift had arrived, Mallory amongst them.  That gave them roughly a minute and a half to clear out the area, remove the evidence of any coffee breaks, and to return to their desks.

Guyot fell into his chair with a groan, and opened Dismas' notebook with an expression of intense pain upon his face.  It had just booted, when–

"Special agent Reynauld," A voice from behind them called out.  Reynauld and Guyot both turned to see Mallory approach – at least until she stopped dead in her tracks.  "... is that a penis!?" Mallory's voice rose high enough that even Ros and Marci stuck their heads out of their cubicles, a curious look on their faces.

"It's part of the investigation," Reynauld managed to force out, while next to him Guyot turned a shade that made his freckles indistinguishable from his skin.  At least the sound was off.

Mallory shook her head, and left, muttering something under her breath.

"Sometimes I hate my life," Guyot mumbled.  He still looked like he wanted to melt into the floor.  Reynauld snorted and leaned back, kicking up his feet to rest on the corner of the desk.  He checked the watch.  Twenty more minutes.

But then all thoughts of going home were driven from his mind when next to him Guyot shot upright.

"I found something!" Guyot shouted and tapped the screen.  "There's a text file in here, I knew it!"

Reynauld too sat more upright, feeling awake all of a sudden.  Would they really find something?  Contacts, numbers, maybe a location?  Something to link Paixdecoeur to the Grave Robber, or something to prove he had worked for the Wolf?  Information on El Abuelo, even?

The file took an insultingly long amount of time to load.  Guyot was drumming his fingers on the table, but stopped when a white document opened.  Black on white, in a neat cursive script, there appeared four lines of text:  

Roses are red,  

Violets are blue,  

Feds are pigs–  

Joke's on you.  

Reynauld had one look at Guyot's flabbergast face, and he managed to hold on to his composure for all of three seconds before he burst out laughing.

"Charming," Guyot said flatly and threw a pen at Reynauld that harmlessly bounced off his chest.  "This isn't funny, you know?"  But, as if to belie his words, he too was cracking up.  "What an arsehole," he hiccupped, "what a complete and utter dickbiscuit."

"Do you want to report your findings to the Chief?" Reynauld asked once the first fit had subsided, triggering another salve of laughter.  

"You do realize we have zero proof of... anything," Guyot asked a moment later, putting a dampener on their newfound good mood.

"But we do know Paixdecoeur is a wanted man in the North," Reynauld reasoned.  "Even if we don't find anything else, there are arrest warrants for him in five City-States, and that's only the ones we know about because they are cooperating with us."

"Then this was utterly pointless anyway," Guyot decided, stood up and stretched.  He worked the kinks out of his back, muttering, "I'm sending this in.   Maybe there's hidden files or what the fuck ever.  I hope they're full of dicks too."

Reynauld had to grin at the temper tantrum.  "They're IT, they've seen weirder shit."

Guyot hmphed. His finger was already hovering over the notebook's on-off button, when the machine made a plopping sound and a little blinking window alerted them they had just received a new message.

Guyot looked at Reynauld with his best 'what did I just do?' face.

Reynauld raised a brow.  "Aren't you going to check that?"

"Looks like a certain 'Sweetheart' has cancelled his or her appointment with our guy," Guyot said a moment later and turned the laptop so that Reynauld could see for himself.

Hey... so something came up and I'm afraid I can't make it to Jubie's tonight.  Pls don't be mad?  

Love ya, xoxo  

"Tonight," Reynauld said, giving Guyot a pointed look.

"Come on, you don't mean to – " his friend began, then shook his head.  "Of course you do.  Does 'Jubie's' even ring a bell?"

"Yeah," Reynauld replied, surprising himself and Guyot, both.  He shrugged, but the name did sound familiar.  "Open the chat log," he commanded.  

Guyot pulled up the log for the past couple of years and once it had loaded, he scrolled up a bit.  They found a blurry but recent picture that looked like it had been taken on a phone, by a very drunk person.   Despite its poor quality, it was unmistakably their guy in the parking lot of what Reynauld guessed to be a bar.  Unfortunately, the neon lights in the back were too unfocused to make out what they said.

Reynauld suddenly felt wide awake.  "Go through everything," he instructed his friend, tapping the laptop with his index finger.  "I will tell the others to get searching, now."

It may be by accident, but they were on to something.  He could feel it.

"Everything?" Guyot repeated with audible reluctance.

Reynauld nodded, and left him to gather the rest of the team for a briefing.  A while later Guyot found him in his office, pacing.

"Rey.  Marci's got something.  Jubert's Taphouse."

Of course there was a chance that it wasn't the right place, or that the message was a code for something else, but it was their only solid lead.  They had to follow it.

"What about the notebook? Reynauld wanted to know, recalling that his friend had a task to perform.

"I gave it to Ros," Guyot replied, waving the matter away.

"Excellent."  Reynauld grabbed the keys to his locker out of his desk drawer.  "Let's go."

"You want to go there?"  Guyot asked.  "Now?"  He looked at the clock.  "It's seven.  My shift's been over for an hour."

Reynauld gave him a pat on the back, which they both agreed was better than a boot in the arse, and they jogged downstairs to change into their normal day clothes.  This morning's trouble meant that they did not have to borrow an unmarked car, they could just take Reynauld's.

Jubert's taphouse was not easy to find.  It was a squat one-story pub sitting between much larger and more modern buildings.  Fifth Square was just one street in the labyrinth that was the old industrial district.   Except for some breweries and the one or other atelier most of the factories had shut down.  Now expensive loft apartments could be encountered right next to brick and glass warehouses which had been turned into clubs.

Barques were dropping people off at the nearby pier, and restaurants were popping up left and right.  Everywhere advertisements reminded you that the huge empty halls could be rented for a party.

Amidst all that, Jubert's taphouse seemed to be stuck in the last century – if one could look past the electric lighting.  Reynauld looked over at the passenger seat, where Guyot was watching the establishment with his chin propped up in his hand.

"Shall we?"

Behind the counter, a bored looking woman with too much eye makeup barely made the effort of lifting her painted eyelids when they entered.

"Where's the – ?"  Reynauld did not get any further before she pointed down the corridor.  He nodded and followed in the direction her neon orange nail pointed.  The pretext of having to use the restroom gave him the opportunity to get somewhat familiar with the layout of the bar.  The kitchen area was closed off, as was a back entrance into a high-walled courtyard.  If he had to guess, Reynauld would say it hid an illegal fighting ring.  But that wasn't why they were here.

He only had a few minutes before he had to make his way back.  The waitress was nowhere to be seen, and Guyot was waiting for him back at the car.  He remembered why the name of the bar was familiar.  Not a year ago they had taken down a drug ring just two streets further.

"Here," Guyot handed Reynauld the pack of cigs he had apparently just purchased and effectively ripped him out of his thoughts.

Reynauld stared at the small package that landed in his lap.  "I quit."

"Yeah, well."  Guyot shrugged.  "I never started, so keep them."  A moment of silence, then, "You're thinking."

"Hm?"

"You got your thinkin' face on," Guyot remarked snickered, and then added, "and nothing good's ever come of that."

"Thanks," Reynauld replied drily, but decided to share his thoughts with his best friend and partner.  "You won't like it," he decided.  

"The last time you said that we were in a stolen tank in Tipolis."

"Heh." Reynauld had to chuckle.  He might grow old and forget where he lived or what his name was, but he knew Guyot would never let him forget that.  "It wasn't so bad."

"They were firing mortars at us!"  Guyot recalled.

"Look," Reynauld interrupted the tirade that he knew was coming.  "We don't know much about Paixdecoeur, but we've seen enough to be sure of one thing: he likes men, and uniforms.  And... I still got some of my old army stuff."

"You're right," Guyot replied.  "I don't like this."  A pause, then, "Has it occurred to you that he might have downloaded this stuff just to mess with us?  That poem was no coincidence."

"No, I am utterly naive and it's never crossed my mind," Reynauld retorted.  He thought it was highly unlikely their guy had gone through all the bother of actually picking thematically matching videos just to potentially prank some law enforcement officer.

"But... why?" Guyot asked.  "Why not just... stick to the plan?"

"We don't have a plan," Reynauld reminded him.

"If that Dismas guy is there, we can arrest him straightaway," Guyot suggested.

"I don't want to find out how many of those patrons own illegal weapons," Reynauld countered, "Do you?"

He knew by the defeated sigh that he had just won the argument.  "If I can get him out without raising suspicion, I will do that.  If it doesn't work, we do it the hard way."

"So, what?  You just walk up to the guy and chat him up?"

Reynauld shrugged.  "That's usually how it goes, yeah."

"Fine!"  Guyot threw up his arms in surrender.  "Just tell me this; how do you plan to convince the Chief?"

"I... don't," Reynauld answered after a moment's consideration.  "I'll ask Mallory"

"Good fucking luck."

"Thank you," Reynauld said.  And just because it seemed necessary to point it out, "You're coming with me."

Guyot's contribution to that conversation that happened twenty minutes later, was to furiously wave his arms every time Reynauld had said 'we', whilst pointing his thumb at Reynauld, who could actually see his every move out of the corner of his eyes.

"Did I understand you correctly," Mallory clarified after Reynauld had finished describing their plan.   "That you are asking me for permission to seduce your target?"

AN: you cann find the whole story here

[the-ghost-writers]

The Old Road Pt.2

A SFW of Dismas and Reynauld setting the path for others to follow while the two find they’re beginning to enjoy working with their unlikely companion.

The story is for @hotmilky and follows (roughly) their ideas.

The story will be given in chapters of various lengths.

All characters are from Darkest Dungeon and belong to Red Hook Studios.

“Hey, tin can.” Despite the words, Dismas speaks without joy. His tone is deadly serious as he walks behind the crusader taking point. “Remember what I said about there being no monsters of the dark? Yeah, I take that back.” He runs his finger along the trigger of his flintlock. His eyes are always scanning the dark corners of the ruins, looking for the stark white of bone to betray a skeleton’s hiding. While he doesn’t find an enemy, he still finds danger. Flipping his dagger around, he grabs at the crusader’s shoulder. “Hold up, there’s a trap.” He steps in front of the knight, kneeling as he looks over the holes in the ground.

Reynauld turns around to look at the others. Right before their journey had begun the caretaker reined in the stagecoach with two others enlisted for the task. Like himself, a vestal was sent by the church to help against the acclaimed dark forces. She, Junia, was smaller than him. While he was trained to fight she was trained to heal, leaving her spending her time pouring over the holy verses instead of getting herself stronger. Despite this she was clearly stronger than the average citizen, toting around a massive chest piece and mace. If his memory serves him, she hasn’t smiled once since she’s arrived.

Their fourth companion is a woman as well, but that is where their similarities end. Paracelsus is a woman of science, an achievement she was disappointed didn’t impress. Every inch of her skin is covered in dense layers of cloth, even her face hidden by a plague doctor mask to suit her title. She tends to speak little and always has a hand on her satchel, clearly something of worth in it.

“Ya blockin the light.”

Reynauld looks over his shoulder to find Dismas still hunched over the trap. Stepping aside he moves his shadow off the man so he can work. Looking back up to the others the crusader is filled with the sudden urge to speak. “These things are something we did not know were real. For some time the church has known of those who pursue the secrets of the occult, but this is something else.” He looks to Junia to see her nod in support. “These skeletons and cultist are something bigger, I just know it. But no matter their plans we can not let them be. We must rid this world of their filth and we will. Stand tall and may the Light be with you.”

The vestal repeats that last phrase and even carries herself higher. But with the plague doctor not reacting and the highwayman behind him snorting it becomes evident they did not care for his speech. There’s a terrible screech of stone against iron as the trap activates. Dismas stands up with a smirk, hidden but still present. “Nice pep talk, but maybe we oughta get something across first.” Stepping up to Reynauld’s side he shoves his left hand into his coat. “We neva traded names. I’m Dismas.” His right hand sticks out to hang in the air void of the dagger typically in it.

The knight shifts his sword to his left and shakes the hand. “Reynauld.” He looks behind Dismas to check out the hallway they’ve yet to explore. When he’s sure that it’s clear, he turns to address the entirety of the party. “We should press on. These creatures seem to grow in numbers and strength when they’re under the shroud of darkness, we can not afford to linger and let our light dwindle.”

Laughter is an odd sound considering their setting yet Reynauld has been hearing much of it from their highwayman. Dismas nudges the knight as he starts walking again. “Coulda just said ta get goin.”

Reynauld walks past him to retake the lead, this time bearing the torch so he can carve a path through the black. The four hold their breath as they reach the end of the hall and meet a door again. Reynauld slowly opens it, and relief comes when the room is empty of people, instead they only thing in the chamber is a large sarcophagus. The party enters the room, all of them taking a moment to rest despite their crusader’s words to move on. None would rush to face such horrors of this place.

Dismas makes his way to the sarcophagus and takes a shovel from his pack to start prying off the lid. He gets it only a few inches away before the shovel is yanked out of his grip from behind. He looks to see Reynauld behind him, the shovel held high and away in his grip. The knight sure sounds peeved as he fails to hide his anger. “Do not disgrace the dead with your thievery.”

The highwayman rolls his eyes, now shoving his shoulder against the partially opened sarcophagus. “I ain’t a thief.”  When the lid is halfway open, he stops pushing, putting his left hand in his pocket as he grabs his dagger. “And as fa disgracing the dead, I got over that tha moment one swung a fuckin sword as me.” He flings his blade out to catch the knight by surprise. Stepping back Reynauld raises his arms in instinctive defense. When he puts them down, he catches the weird look Dismas gives him. THe highwayman wasn’t going for him, his weapon instead dug deep into the head of the skeleton in the sarcophagus. With a twist of his wrist and the blade following after, the skull cracks into two pieces. Pulling back his blade he wipes it on his pants, something more out of habit than necessity as a skeleton has no blood to wipe off. He never takes his eyes off the knight, letting it be clear on his face he doesn’t appreciate the holy man’s lack of trust. “I don’t wanna be caught off guard by this thing jumpin out at us.” He lowers his voice while the malice in it grows. “And don’t ya go about pointing your holy finger at me claiming I'm a thief. You’re in no position to talk, sticky fingers.” Pushing off the sarcophagus he walks over to the plague doctor to leave Reynauld to his own thoughts.

The two don’t share a word for the rest of their journey. It’s near impressive how they both stay silent in the midst of their battles, even if it’s only with two more groups of skeletons. In their travels back to Hamlet the sound of foot falls and restless scribbling is the only real sound. Reynauld stops, allowing the others to walk past him until he’s beside Paracelsus as writes down her findings. Before he speaks Reynauld looks into the doctor’s journal, the thing a mess of smudged drawings and her rushed handwriting. “You are a scholar?”

She doesn’t respond at first as she wants to write down her thoughts before she loses it. She forced to stop when she reaches the end of her journal, something she apparently didn’t expect to happen. “Should’ve brought an extra…” The beak of the mask dips before suddenly flying up as she looks at the crusader. “Yes?”

Reynauld looks at her, trying hard to look past the goggles on that mask. When it ends in failure, he merely repeats himself, although he already has his answer question. “You are a scholar.”

“Yes.” She nods, the action near comical because of that beak. When the knight doesn’t say anything, she carries on. “I studied the human body and the various sicknesses that affect it.”

“I assume you are certified?” Seeing as how she gave him something to stop his wounds from bleeding, he most certainly hope she is.

“I should be but I was removed from the academy for unlawful research.” Reynauld rolls his arm as the bandages wrapped around it no longer gives him comfort. Before he can speak Paracelsus cuts him off with a raised hand. “But alongside human anatomy, I also ventured into human behavior. And the reason you’re talking to me is that I'm furthest from the front where Dismas is and you’re avoiding interaction with him. You would speak to Junia but she would bring up the highwayman’s behavior and you’re trying to prevent any mention of him because you are aware that you’re in the wrong with your accusations against him, even if you won’t admit it to yourself.” She lowers her hand once she finishes up. Even with her mask on, he can tell she holds no emotion on her face.

“Are you not about to tell me to go and absolve for my sins?”

He can practically feel her eyes roll. “No. Your actions are your own and my words won’t sway what you do. But if anything do not pray to your god to forgive you but right the wrongs you’ve done to your fellow man.” Her voice sounds tired, the most emotion she’s used all day. The knight’s armor gives away that he’s looking up at Dismas in the front. “But,” The plague doctor grabs his attention again, the feeling one way as she’s opened her journal again. “Seeing as you’ve listened to me without disagreement, you’ve known that this entire time.” And just like that, she’s back to pouring over her notes and ignoring the crusader as they keep marching.

With a clear end to the conversation, Reynauld speeds up to go back to the front. He’s stopped by a mace gently tapping his chest piece. Junia turns her head to him, nodding slowly as she speaks. “While the doctor is right, I would still suggest praying for absolution. It can never hurt.”

She let him go and like Paracelsus, she reads her own book. Although this one full of scriptures instead of sketches. Reynauld comes back to the front walks alongside Dismas. “I apologize for what I said before, I jumped to conclusions.”

“Stuff it.” He doesn’t even look at the other man, just keeps walking with his left hand in his coat pocket. “Sorry don’t mean much, not really. Ya said very clearly what ya think of me, don’t go around thinkin I’m forgettin that.”

The crusader closes his eyes, taking deep breaths to calm himself. There’s no point in making this whole thing worse. “What if I pay for a round of wine for you?”

THe highwayman doesn’t say anything on the matter as he keeps walking. Reynauld follows his eyes and sees that Hamlet is quickly approaching. Dismas raises his right hand to start counting off. “First; rum, not wine. Second; two rounds. Third; get ya weapon out a my face.” His armor clinks together as the knight leans away in mild confusion. The smaller man finally looks at him and jerks his head the sword resting on the knight’s shoulder. “Ya got your weapon between us. I find it real hard to like a man who can’t trust me.”

Despite his better judgment, he goes on the defensive. “You say this but you’ve been holding your flintlock this entire time.” Dismas stays quiet for a second.

He stops at the entrance of the town, his eyes watching as the other two of their party goes off to rest. When they’re alone, those eyes coming back to land on him. Suddenly, that helmet of his seems all too small. Dismas makes his actions clear as he takes his left hand out of his pocket, lifting a coin between them. He returns it to his pocket and uses his right to pull his coat back, revealing his pistol hanging from his hip. He lets the coat fall back into place and waits on the knight to try and defend himself.

Reynauld shifts the sword to the other shoulder and raises his now free hand. “Three rounds.”

[chiseler]

TOMMY AND THE GNOSTICS

When I first heard of the Gnostics, their collective name made me think of some kind of bread dough, god knows why. Maybe flat, like matzo.

Damn, the associations we make.

In the lean years following graduation from UPenn in the '60s, when I did nothing of note, I spent a lot of time in the college library reading about alchemy and parapsychology, then called ESP in the U.S., psy in Britain.  

Penn had an amazing collection of alchemical stuff upstairs in a wood-paneled room. But back then, they also kept books from the 16th century on the open shelves. They've learned better since.

I liked Paracelsus well enough, and I firmly believed that my then-contemporary Samuel Soal in England, during his tedious experiments with chief subject Basil Shackleton, had uncovered mental transfer. It's depressing to find today that Soal was either a fraud or a deluded investigator who fudged his findings to fit what he felt must be true (lots of erasures in his data).

There was also J.B. Rhine at Duke, with his equally tedious cards highlighted with squiggles and geometrics shapes. Subjects, usually in the next room, were supposed to "see" what the reader saw in front of him/her. Sometimes they did. More or less. Nobody I'm aware of now thinks it meant much of anything.

What do any of these have to do with the Gnostics? I think it was just that the para people, the alchemists and the Gnostics all lay beyond the edge of the accepted in the mental arena, at a time when I realized I couldn't accept religion at all but was still interested in the amorphously spiritual.

My interest – or resurrected interest – in the Gnostics popped up a few years back. If you grew up Catholic as I did (and I wouldn't wish that on a rabid dog), then cast it off, you might well be left to wonder about the early days of Christianity. Why this and not that in the realm of structured belief? Why the accepted vs. the heretical? How did the church Fathers come to be the arbiters of truth?

But my interest came not just from my background. My mindset finds the subject fascinating even in the abstract. Gnosticism, from the translations I've read, represents an extreme view of what the mind finds necessary to look for and assume it has found.

So... Let me start here with some particulars, and – if you can bear with me – over a series of ruminations – try to dig into the meaning behind the meaning assumed by those who encompassed an amazingly convoluted amalgam of beliefs. I'll be bringing a blatantly personal outlook to this. It's the only way I know how to do things.

I ran across the Gospel According to Thomas while orchestrating the book departments at the UPenn bookstore around 1970 (there were non-book departments in the bookstore, but you don't need to know about them). I was already late to the Gnostic game, since the initial English translation of Thomas (Harper & Row) came out in 1959. My copy, next to the Popul Vuh, still has its tattered, faded dust jacket, and I presume it's a first edition; nothing indicates otherwise.

It was one of the numerous Nag Hammadi texts dug up in 1945 by an Egyptian farmer looking for naturally occurring manure. (Did he find really good shit? Hmmm.) Spading into the recumbent dung, he released a buried clay jar which he initially feared might hold a djinn (I'm fascinated by the idea of a djinn and tonic). He soon decided "What the hell" and broke it open, since it just might contain treasure. He was likely upset to find a passel of bound books; fortunately for us, he took them home.

Later, he scattered the ones his wife did not burn for fuel across the realm of antiquities, gaining not a little of the less-obvious treasure. For the Nag Hammadi texts are the most significant collection of early "heretical" Christian writings uncovered to date. Buried in the 4th century to keep them from being immolated by snarly orthodox bishops, they stayed hidden for 1600 years. Ain't that sum thin?

They are unique as the only extant examples of the idea-structures that had been crapped on by the orthodox church fathers – in particular Irenaeus and Tertullian – who saw their authors as enemies of the still rickety Catholic order.

But enough background. Back to Thomas.

How many of you have seen Pier Pasolini's movie, The Gospel According to St. Matthew? I was introduced to it by my wife, Linda, well after my first reading of Thomas.

Thomas's and Pasolini's view of Christ are remarkably alike. Whether you take Thomas as an early, bare-bones rendition of Christ-sayings or as a later Gnostic helicalization of the canonical tales, it's fascinating as a portrayal of a hectic, wild-eyed, spittle-spewing Jesus who can't push his ideas out fast enough to make them coherent, who sees farther, both inside and out, that any of his followers, but who is driven by the belief that all of us have the inherent ability to know what he knows, to become what he has become, if only our minds can be pried open.

This Christ's pre- and post-parable statements blast a sizzling level of contradiction that can either leave you wild-eyed or infuse you with a sense of something wider, deeper and more fundamental than the universe we slag through daily. Thomas had (and has still, on recent re-readings) the latter effect on me. Either this prophet knew something, or he and I have both failed to know the same things.

ˆThis Jesus is neither god nor the son of god; he is the embodiment of what it is to evolve spiritually into the human equivalent of god on earth. Thomas was for me a Gnostic start, laid aside for many years. I still find it the touchstone, the most immediately human of the Gnostic texts.

by Derek Davis

[recentanimenews]

Hold Onto Your Breastplate, A Male King Arthur Has Joined "Fate/Grand Order"

Originally, Kinoko Nasu conceived of Fate/stay night with a more hierarchical Master system, a female lead who lost her father and sister in the previous Grail War, and male King Arthur Saber. This Prototype got a 12-minute anime segment released with Carnival Phantasm Season 3, a comedy audio drama and a Fate/Prototype: Fragments of Blue and Silver. Now, Prototype Saber has joined smartphone RPG Fate/Grand Order for this year's White Day (the reciprocal Valetine's Day) Chaldea Boys Collection.

    illustrated by Nakahara and voiced by Takahiro Sakurai

  Craft Essence included

Dabābu Hamāṭu Bāṣu/Talk of the Hot Sand - featuring Gilgamesh (Caster), Enkidu

Detective Edmond ~Spring Equinox Travelogue, featuring s Amakusa Shirou, Edmond Dantes & EMIYA.

  As You Wish - featuring Gawain, Tristan, Lancelot (Saber) & Bedivere.

  Cafe Camelot - featuring Ramesses II, Arthur Pendragon & Paracelsus Van Hohenheim

  Outrage - featuring Rama, Cu Chulainn (Alter), Billy The Kid & Hector.

  Operation Fionna - Fionn mac Cumhaill, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne & Charles Babbage.

  Quatre Feuilles - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, William Shakespeare, The Phantom of the Opera & Hans Christian Andersen.

  Neverland - featuring Kid Gil, Robin Hood, Edward Teach

  La Siesta - featuring Asterios, Thomas Edison, Merlin, Jason & Mini Cu-chan.

  Oh, and the identifies of those Shinjuku Servants...

   Archer of Shinjuku, Professor Moriarty, The Napoleon of Crime

Art by Honjou Raita, voiced by Takaya Hashi

Assassin of Shinjuku, Langzi /Yan Qinga(Wanderer) - art by Shimaudon, voiced by Nobuhiko Okamoto

Hessian Lobo - Hessian Lobo, the Headless Horseman from Legend of Sleepy Hollow and wolf from Wild Animals I Have Known.

    EMIYA (Alter) - archer - art by Sasaki Shonen, voiced by Junichi Suwabe

    via Fate/Grand Order Wiki and kotelo

  ------- Scott Green is editor and reporter for anime and manga at geek entertainment site Ain't It Cool News. Follow him on Twitter at @aicnanime.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com