#Pankratz family

[thedemonofcat]

Due to jurisdictional reasons, the Pankratz family owned part of Blue Mountain, which included Kear Morhen. Although the family allowed the witchers to use the area, they charged a small annual fee.

When Julian Alfred Pankratz, the young Viscount who had just begun to go by Jaskier, was twelve, his father took him along to Kear Morhen on one of his trips.

There, Jaskier met a young witcher trainee named Geralt. It was evident to anyone who observed them that Jaskier and Geralt were fond of each other. As one of the other witcher trainees put it, "Geralt is trying to impress the little lordling."

As a result, Geralt’s fellow trainees made it their mission to try and embarrass him in front of Jaskier as much as possible.

[dumbass---tm]

Lettenhove has been independent from Kerack for several years at this point, long enough that when the kingdom itself fizzled out Lettenhove kept its independency.

The King and the Queen were genuinely loved by their people, and they made sure that their domain was a safe haven for anybody who needed it. As the years passed, and the lineage continued, the kingdom grew a bit, but not by much.

The city's traditions are simple. Children tie their hair back with embroidered ribbons, and match them to their trousers or skirts. Teenagers trade their ribbons as signs of friendship or infatuation. Courting gifts are commonly personalised ribbons and bouquets or flowers.

The reason the small kingdom is so bright, so colourful, is something quite weird for this certain world. While most of the world frowns upon anything, ehm, queer, Lettenhove celebrates it.

It celebrates everything that people have to offer. It celebrates all the kinds of love that creatures experience. It celebrates the joys that people find after hard times, and celebrates the hard times people go through.

They welcome all and any creatures who won't harm others into their kingdom, and celebrate the diversity of their kingdom throughout festivals.

So, all in all, Lettenhove is a good place to call home, and Jaskier is more than happy that he grew up here.

okay so as anybody who looks at my page has noticed, ive fallen back into my witcher fixation.

now, if youre @nachtwaechterin or @atwerrundo you know about the au ive been brewing up.

so heres the formal introduction to (what is hopefully going to become a full fanfic) the extended pankartz family!

(i know that kerack stopped existing as a kingdom a few centuries post canon please ignore this thank you)

(as much as i like being lore accurate this is an au)

(were also ignoring season 3)

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Geralt and Yennifer: *arguing*

Geralt: hey Jaskier, isn’t it true that SpongeBob lives in a cucumber?

Jaskier: what?

Yennifer: for the last time, he lives in a fucking pineapple!

Geralt: no, it’s not. 🎵who lives in a cucumber under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants🎶

Jaskier, internally: ah. Geralt is fucking with the witch. Excellent!

Jaskier: it’s a cucumber.

Yennifer: *looking betrayed and confused*

Geralt: Ha! Told you!

Yennifer: it fucking isn’t!

Jaskier: no. Geralt is right. It’s a cucumber. Correct number of syllables for the song and I can assure you, it’s a cucumber.

Yennifer: *stomps off*

Geralt: *leaves triumphant*

Jaskier: *goes back to his book and forgets all about it*

(Jaskier, Geralt, and Ciri are watching TV and SpongeBob comes on)

Geralt, angry: you lied to me!

Jaskier: um… about what?

Geralt: ABOUT THE CUCUMBER!

Jaskier: …

Jaskier: darling, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Geralt: you told me and Yen that SpongeBob lived in a cucumber under the sea. You lied!

Jaskier: *suddenly remembering and realizing what’s happened*

Jaskier: *laughs*

Geralt: hmm!

Jaskier: you… haha! You were serious?! Bahahaha!!!

Geralt: of course I was serious!

Jaskier: I thought you were fucking with Yen!!! Bahahahaha!

Geralt: hmm?

Jaskier: and I… hahaha!! I thought I was helping you with the prank!!!! *dissolves into a laughing puddle*

Geralt: I was asking for your help and you thought I was joking?

Jaskier: Everyone knows it’s a pineapple, Geralt! Except maybe Yennifer for being too old and stuffy to have watched SpongeBob!

Geralt: hmmm!

Jaskier: I assumed you knew because Ciri and I watch it and you’re there. But no! You thought it was a cucumber!

Ciri: Shhhh!!!!

Geralt: *storms away*

Jaskier: *realizes how mad Geralt is*

Jaskier: Geralt. Geralt, I’m sorry. I truly didn’t mean to mislead you! Come back!

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern AU) - Family Dynamics

None of them quite knew what they were expecting when Jaskier invited Geralt and Yennefer to move in to his house in Oxenfurt. Yennefer was lonely in Aretuza, and Geralt and Jaskier needed a more permanent place to stay when Geralt was between jobs or Jaskier had to work on band business.

They were all probably expecting it to be one of those awkward roommate situations where a couple and the third wheel best friend all split the bills and live under the same roof. It ended up being nothing like what they were expecting.

They all secretly expected Jaskier and Yennefer to make it maybe a month before they were at each other's throats and Yennefer decided to leave. It already looked as if they could barely stand each other. They always seemed to be arguing, insulting each other, or being passive agressive.

And then came the subtle smiles, the slight playful tones...

Jaskier and Yennefer had finally bonded. Geralt figured that since they were friends now, things would settle down. But he was wrong. So very wrong. They all got sucked into this new chaotic relationship.

Yennefer always complains about how Geralt and Jaskier are nothing but trouble when they are together. How she can't turn her back on them for five minutes before Geralt loses all higher brain function and somehow allows Jaskier to convince him to do some of the most stupid, and/or annoying things.

Things like:

Building blanket forts and refusing to let Yennefer in unless she knows the Super Secret Password. It's 'Bewbs'.

Tying a bunch of helium balloons to a blow up doll and setting it loose in the backyard to float away, then running inside to monitor the police scanner to see how many 911 calls it recieved.

Buying a tiny fat pony. Not Jaskier's fault this time. They were driving home and Geralt sees the advertisement on the fence and has to stop because all the fluffy babies are out in the field and he sees a little red one, and is just going "Oh my GAWD, I want to take her home! We can put her in the van!"

Geralt just really loves horses, ok? And she fits in the van!

And now they have to say Wee Roach, or Van Roach so no one gets confused as to which Roach they are talking about.

The constant That's What She Said, Everything Can Be A Toy If You're Brave Enough, and I Fell On It jokes. And all the other inappropriate jokes Jaskier is constantly waiting to make.

Yennefer and Geralt have forbidden Jaskier from physically entering any sandwich shop ever again. They never did find out Jaskier's answer to "How do you want your sub topped?" Because Geralt had, thankfully, been close enough to clamp his hand over his mouth in time.

The laughing fits that start over words like "butthole". All it takes is for Jaskier to start laughing, and then Geralt starts laughing, which makes Jaskier laugh even more... Heaven help them if they are in public, or even worse, at a public function and something sets Jaskier off. He will try to get the person who said the trigger word to say it more.

And then they get kicked out.

Yennefer feels like she's babysitting two 6 year olds.

Jaskier convincing Geralt to walk around the grocery store acting like a gorilla

Jaskier convincing Geralt to squeeze into Yennefer's yoga pants, then go for a nice jog around the neighborhood.

Yennefer having to hold their hands at stores/shops/amusement parks so they don't run off and get into trouble. Or get lost.

Blowing their straw papers at each other and Yennefer. (Jaskier always tries to get his straw paper to stick in Yennefer's cleavage. Geralt aims for her hair because he's not that stupid.)

Leaving messes everywhere. Trails of clothes leading to the bathroom. Messes in the kitchen. Crumbs on the couch. Seat left up, or 'sprinkled on' and not wiped off...

Constantly walking in on them doing whatever the hot new tiktok trend was. The Beethoven Challenge had truly been a sight, she had to admit.

Ridiculous games. Like the one where they put kazoos or harmonicas in their mouths and took turns zapping each other on their bare a**es with bug zapper paddles.

Putting random price tags on random items at the store to see if they can make it through the checkout line with it.

Surprisingly, it works the majority of the time. Which is how they ended up with a wet floor sign shaped like a giant banana peel, a big plastic horse from a wine display, and a standee of the store mascot

And trying to rip each other's back pockets off. Geralt had completely ripped the entire a** out Jaskier's jeans. In the middle of the grocery store.

And don't get her started on how she couldn't make a phone call around them. Yennefer lived in constant fear that her phone would ring in their presence. Because that meant trying to talk on the phone while they

Yell random things like:

Is that the brothel again? Was my credit card declined?

That doesn't go in your butt!

Why are you lying to them like that?

Stop hogging the bong!

Yen, help, he's escaped the basement again!

Geralt will do a very realistic impression of a barking dog.

Jaskier will randomly scream.

They will team up and pretend to be two children fighting over something "MoOoooMM! Geralt/Jaskier is...."

"MoOOMMM, I frew up!"

Pretend there is a small crisis going on and run around cursing in the background.

Make random moaning/creaking/slapping/thumping combinations.

Make fart noises.

Bang pots and pans together

Random sex jokes

Deez Nuts jokes

But what Yennefer didn't realize (or refused to acknowledge) was that her and Jaskier were just as bad.

Geralt secretly referred to them as the Chaotic Siblings.

Yennefer tried to be the responsible, mature one of the pair, but always ended up getting sucked in by Jaskier's playful energy. Which always left Geralt feeling like a Tired Dad.

They will fight, argue, and annoy the h*ll out of each other and Geralt for fun.

Some of the things they do are:

The Butt Poke of Death. Geralt can't remember who started it, but Jaskier and Yennefer spent weeks jumping at every opportunity to stab each other in the a**. Then they involved Geralt, and they all ended up walking around the house, constantly on guard, relexively covering their butts.

Embarrassing Yennefer in public. Jaskier starts walking weird, making odd random noises, or just acting embarrassing in public and follows Yen around as she tries to get the h*ll away from him. He just starts walking weirder and weirder. Running just makes it worse. He will chase her, doing the "I'm frEEEE~!" run.

Jaskier and Yen once did the Awkward JCPenny Sibling photoshoot. They wore the cringiest clothes they could find and did all the awkward Sibling poses. They do it every year now and pick the worst one, have it framed, and hang it on the wall in Roach. Last year's photo is moved to the livingroom wall where everyone who walks in the door can see it .

They even get Geralt to sometimes involve himself in their nonsnse. Like the time when Jaskier and Yennefer got bored on rainy day and started doing old kid's crafts they remembered doing from their childhoods. Classics like the Squawking Chicken Cup, plastic mesh canvas crafts, fuse beads, paper mache, etc. Geralt had declined joining them. And then they'd started making Friendship Pins for each other. Geralt had absolutely not been jealous as he'd watched them trade their pins. He'd just been bored, okay? He'd definitley not sat down and started making pins because he was jealous!

The pranks are even worse. Geralt is always an unwitting participant. Like the time they filled his room with balloons. Geralt had started popping balloons just so he could get into his room, and found the one balloon they had filled with glitter. He'd been rather irate about it, but as the Chaotic Siblings had put it as he'd chased them through the house, "At least you look fabulous!"

Not even a week later Geralt had been opening a soda bottle in the kitchen when Jaskier had run up behind him and dropped a mentos in the bottle when Geralt turned to get his glass. They'd run like h*ll after the soda spewed all over Geralt. Yen's phone has the whole thing on video, including the chaotic shaking view of her running from Geralt.

Putting clear tape across the doorways at face height and watching Geralt walk into it.

Switching places when Yennefer is walking with Geralt. The Siblings had gotten a good laugh when Geralt realized that at some point they had switched places and he'd been holding Jaskier's hand for the past 15 minutes.

They bought a big bag of gummy bears, waited until Geralt had gone to bed, then spent a few hours licking each gummy bear and then sticking them to the ceiling of Geralt's van.

F**king with Geralt's collection of horse figurines by either replacing one with a random a** object, or dressing one up, and waiting to see how long it takes him to notice.

Sometimes they just abduct one and hold it hostage until Geralt pays the ridiculous ransom they came up with.

Which is how Geralt ended up walking out of the salon with hidden pastel rainbow hair.

And not to mention all the random, childish things, like

Interacting with random statues they come across, resulting in hilarious photos.

Full sleeve tattoos using assorted kids' temporary tattoos

Both of them constantly yelling "gErALt!" whenever one of them did someting particularly annoying to the other. Like how Yennefer keeps calling Jaskier 'Babygirl' in front of his band. Or telling Geralt that Jaskier is his other wife.

Eskel and Geralt have a private joke that Jaskier is Yennefer's gay boyfriend. Eskel even took all the footage he had collected of Yennefer and Jaskier interacting and put it to Gay Boyfriend by The Hazzards.

Not being able to play a serious game of pool because Jaskier keeps dancing around his pool cue while Yennefer sings "Somebody come get her, she's dancin' like a stripper!"

Or they end up just contantly trying to poke each other with the pool cues.

Or they get drunk, turn the barstools upside down and sit between the legs and have 'barstool rodeos'. The first one to tip over loses.

The a** slapping battles that subsequently end up with bickering, name calling, and sulking.

Which dovetails into their wrestling matches, that always end in high pitched screams for help when Yennefer gets the upper hand.

They call Geralt by going "Pspspspsps!"

Geralt hates it because he turns to look every single time. He hates it even more when they do it in public.

He tried to ignore a public summons once, and had done a pretty decent job of barely twitching, until Yennefer had called loudly, "Geralt Roger Eric-!" And Geralt had never moved faster in his life.

He'd thought they had given up "cat" calling him, until he found out they had changed his ringtone. Now when one them calls him, it's a recording of the specific Sibling going "Pspspspsp!"

They will, every once in a while, even send him a text message that reads "Pspspspsps!"

They found out that a squeaky ball worked just as well. Geralt's in his room and Yen wants to ask him something? Squeaky Ball! Don't know where Geralt is? Just give the ball a squeak!

And if that wasn't bad/annoying enough, the little sh*ts will casually walk up to him, start scratching his cheeks/chin, and just smile as his eyes dilate and he starts purring.

Geralt tries to resist, but as soon as the skritches start, his brain just goes 'Brrrrr! Skritches Good!' and he's gone! He can't even remember what he was doing/saying.

And Geralt is pretty sure the Siblings have used the Chin/Cheek Skritch technique on numerous occasions to get themselves out of trouble.

The Squeaky Ball works just as well. Just give it a squeak and throw it, and Geralt forgets all about being mad!

[wren-of-the-woods]

Hello hello hello, it has been a while since we last chatted but you are still my resident Witcher mutual and I know you have impeccable taste in fanfic - so I was wondering (if you wouldn't mind) if you could rec any fics about Jaskier's family? Either blood-related from Lettenhove or found family from bard-ing, I'm really unfussy! I'm just very invested in where the bard came from before meeting his Witcher...

Anyway, hope you're doing alright and no worries if this isn't something you're interested in!

Hello Fae!! It's lovely to hear from you! I absolutely do not mind and was delighted at the chance to make another reclist. I hope you find some fics you like!

As always, I would love to hear if anyone reading this has their own recs. Do you know a fic that fits the category? Want to promote one of your own stories? Go for it!

Without further ado, here are a bunch of lovely fics featuring OCs for Jaskier's family!

his hair was like the strands of gold by underlay Rated G, 6k  The Count de Lettenhove has been away from home for several months. Meanwhile, a Witcher has arrived, part of a new protection deal between the Witchers and the Northern Kingdoms. When the Count gets home, he finds a lovesick Julian and a Witcher who isn’t quite what he was expecting. (I have yet to read it, but this one has a sequel that also looks very good!)

for she had done mischief by @whatkindofnameisvolta Rated T, 43k After unexpectedly becoming a father to a demi-god, Jaskier returns to Lettenhove for much needed parental support. There he finds half-a-dozen of his niblings, all with far too much curiosity for their own good. Meanwhile, on the run from Nilfgaard, Geralt, Yennefer and Cirilla also make their way to Lettenhove, to find sanctuary amongst Jaskier's family.

A Mother of One's Own by ohnoesidontknow Rated M, ~1k (one of multiple ficlets posted as the same work) Jaskier's mom adopts Geralt.

enough to drive a man mad by @contemplativepancakes Rated T, 6k Jaskier convinces Geralt to pretend that they’re dating when they visit his parents.

So Inviting (I Almost Jump In) by @happyjuicyfruit Rated G, 5k Geralt accompanies Jaskier to his sister’s wedding. Jaskier’s family is not what Geralt expected.

You, Forever by inanoldhouseinparis Rated G, 16k Geralt and Jaskier pretend to be engaged in Lettenhove.

You've Been Deprived, Haven't You My Dear? by Bedalk05 Rated T, 7k  Jaskier is a shifter and Geralt finds out. (Featuring Jaskier’s mother! I have yet to read the rest of the series, but it looks wonderful.)

Kingdoms Come and Kingdoms Go, Rivers Run and Rivers Flow by @dancinglassie Rated T, 62k Jaskier's start in life was unfortunate, but sadly not unheard of. He was put in a sack, less than an hour old, and chucked in the river. For many in his position that would of been the end of it, but the Yaruga heard his cut off wail and swept him into her loving embrace. Less than an hour old and Jaskier had already died and been reborn as the newest child of Mama Yaruga.

Wicked Things (orphaned) Rated M, 101k  This is the story of how Jaskier helps to save the world. Jaskier is twenty when a rift opens and an army of Fae pour through it. Bloodthirsty and mindless, they sweep across the Continent, devastating human settlements and pushing them into smaller and smaller communities. Jaskier finds himself trapped in Lettenhove, having to deal with his father's gradual decline into madness and protecting his family and his village from the threats outside their walls. He meets a Faerie, trapped in a Faerie Ring; the rest, as they say, is history. (Jaskier’s family is there a lot, especially in the beginning, but heed the tags! There are a lot of other things going on here and a lot of them are horror-y.)

Now, here are a few AUs where Jaskier is related to someone from canon.

of music and motion and love by WriteThroughTheNight Rated T, 12k Jaskier comes from a far humbler background, and would really like to know why Yennefer never came back for her youngest brother. (The sequel is also wonderful!)

Soft Deceitful Wiles by boopboop  Rated M, 23k  Jaskier is Renfri's son, and ten years is plenty of time to prepare a suitable punishment for the Butcher of Blaviken.

Bonus: this one isn't really what you asked for, but it has brief appearances from Jaskier's parents, beautiful found family vibes throughout, and I love it far too much not to mention it!

speak the language of love (like you know what it means) by @restmyheadatnightcontent Rated T, 35k Julian Pankratz, one of the Continent's most famous playboys, always invited to the hottest parties, always seen with the best of the best, is enjoying his lavish life in his huge Cintran apartment when he suddenly gets cut off by his parents and is sent to live in the middle of nowhere. It might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to him.

More of my reclists can be found here.

[seance]

Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove, better known as Jaskier and his family.

[inexplicifics]

Oooo, what's the mafia fic? And if someone's beat me to it, LAM #24 pls!

The mafia AU is entirely character-description bullet points and will probably never be more than that, so have some bullet points!

Geralt, “the White Wolf”

Second son, his brother’s closest companion

Taciturn and fond of horses

Married to Yennefer “Witch” Vengerberg, beautiful and vicious, who for some reason has not murdered either of his lovers

Lover Renfri “Shrike” Creyden, one of the best assassins in the Family

Lover Julian “Jaskier” Pankratz, who is a professional musician and apparently doesn’t have anything to do with the Family business

Daughter Cirilla “Ciri” Fiona Elen Riannon

Probably the biological daughter of Pavetta Elen Riannon of the Cintra Family, possibly also the daughter of “Emperor” Emhyr var Emreis of the Nilfgaard Consortium, but it’s best not to bring that up

[herpsandbirds]

Oriental Fire-bellied Toad (Bombina orientalis), family Bombinatoridae, found in far eastern Asia

Poisonous.

photograph by Michael Pankratz

[little-teacupss]

My Masterlist + Rules + blog

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Their good fairy. Series

Part one.

Part two.

Part three of part one of castlecoming.

Part three of part two of castlecoming.

Part four the ending. Coming soon

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P.S. - I love you two-shots

P.S. - I still love you.

P.S. - I'll always love you. Coming soon

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May your anchor be tight and your heart be mine. Series

Chapter I.

Chapter II.

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Famey

The Pirate meets his fairy.

The Pirate and his Fairy.

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Forky

The Pirate and His Fairy.

The Serptine's Jealousy.

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The Trapped Fairy. Series

The Trapped Fairy - Chapter One.

The Trapped Fairy - Chapter Two.

The Trapped Fairy - Chapter Three.

The Trapped Fairy - Chapter Four.

The Trapped Fairy - Chapter Five.

Harriet's lullaby - short story/spin off.

Fay's Heart - Part One ( It's being split up )

Fay's heart - The Prequel

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Morfay.

The serpentine's jealousy.

My love letter to you.

What if I love you?

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PeriwinkleChad.

You're my fairy godmother!

Our little secret.

A Charming dinner.

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Miscellaneous/Spin offs.

Family Montage - mini fics.

Couples therapy - mini fic

She's yours - angst fic

Memes with MFH and the VK's - meme quotes

Part two of MFH and the VK's - meme qoutes

Our good little fairy. - yandere fic series

Snippet - Merlin

A prince's love - Merlin

I envy you - Merlin

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Rules.

1. I do take requests, but there are somethings I will not write

2. Character death, it's just that I've never done it and would have no clue how to set it up - I might be trying it in an upcoming story

3. NSFW/non-con/SA, once again I've never written about it before and would have no clue how to set it up, but also I will not write about non-con/SA, it's not in my morals and not something I support or want to Romanticize. But for NSFW, I will have as far as making out, implied, and off-screen, that is as far as I will go

4. Labor scenes, it would make me uncomfortable to write about something so sensitive, I'll go as far as getting to the hospital and after

5. Omegaverse, sorry in some ways I think it can be written well depending on the person, I'm just not one to those people

6. Suicide, sorry I won't write about that kind of sensitive subject

7. I only write character x character, unfortunately I've tried to do character x reader, and it doesn't work for me either I go into writers block, or it doesn't perform well, or it never gets finished

8. I won't write stories where the partner is bullying the other partner, for example: Bridget x Hook, Morgie x Fay, Maleficent x Fay x Hades. I'm sorry, but it doesn't sit right with me

9. Domestic abuse, once again, goes against my morals and trauma, but also I won't write about that kind of sensitive topic

10. At the moment I'm only writing for Descendants, but I will notify when I'm writing for other Randoms

And that's all for Rules for now.

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Blog.

On tumblr got under little-teacups. I'm a minor, I go by she/her, I will not allow any kind of bullying, I also believe you can give criticism without being a prick.

Tagged Creators: @giveityourworst

My co-founder/creditor of the MFH ship: @giveityourworst

Remembering Eric Pankratz.

Multi-Universe lores.

Pirate terminology.

My anons

🎃 anon - pronouns they/them

🦐 anon - pronouns he/they

🪶 anon - pronouns She/Her

[thedemonofcat]

One day, Geralt is hired to investigate a series of deaths at Pankratz's family home in Lettenhove.

The Pankratz family harbors many dark secrets, with a history of mysterious accidents leading to deaths or severe injuries. Some family members have died prematurely, while others have inexplicably lived far beyond normal human lifespans. There is even a legend in Lettenhove about a baby born a monster instead of a human.

The townsfolk are uncertain whether the Pankratz family is entirely human or if they are cursed.

As Geralt delves deeper into the murders, he uncovers increasingly disturbing details about the family. Additionally, there is a tower on the estate that Geralt is forbidden from entering.

Through a window of that tower, Geralt is almost certain he catches a glimpse of Jaskier.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 4

Geralt is the captain of a pirate ship, named "Kaer Morhen." Perhaps he's still a witcher, perhaps he's just a regular old human (with white hair and golden eyes? Lol) His brothers (and "cousins" from other witcher schools) are his crew Now I can see this going two different ways, so choose a favorite (or make up your own, I am only the beginning, I hold no affront of being anything more) Jaskier is a nobleman's son, aboard his family's ship, possibly on his way to be forced into a marriage to a woman he doesn't love. And either he falls overboard or he's shoved off as a murder attempt, but he's lost in the ocean. Lambert (or someone else, but I love to imagine how Lambert would attempt to call this out to his captain who he doesn't take seriously 90% of the time, #brothers) calls that he spots a man bobbing in the sea, and they haul him up. The majority of the crew sees sight of his jewels and finery and insists on holding him ransom. But when the prisoner wakes up and isn't afraid of death, Geralt looks into this a little more. Apparently their prisoner won't get a ransom because his entire family despise him and his want to run away and become a bard. Funny. Most pirate ships have entertainers aboard to help the pirates deal with months of nothing but ocean. Perhaps they'll have use of this dumb twink after all. OR, option number two Jaskier is a nobleman's son, chained and starved for the crime of wanting to become a bard and not wanting to marry some prissy noblewoman. He hears a lot of loud noises and screams and then a bunch of burly men in fur cloaks stomp down and start rifling through their supplies. One catches eye of him and immediately yells to the captain. The captain is a very handsome man with silver locks and bright eyes, and the dreaded pirate captain is treating Jaskier with more kindness and gentleness than his family or their workers ever have. The pirate hauls Jaskier up into his arms and carries him to their own ship, laying him down in his own bed, and looking over his injuries and sending one of his crewmembers to make hm a fine meal. Jaskier begins telling the captain of his abusive life beforehand and mentions that all he's ever wanted is to spread music and love, and shockingly enough, this big scary (gorgeous) man doesn't even laugh at him for it.. Oh fuck he's falling in love-

♡!Optional addons!♡ • Geralt gayly teaching his bard how to swordfight!!!

• Perhaps Jaskier's family is crueler and has done more than beat him, perhaps they've stabbed him or something, and the very last thing he sees before he passes out from bloodloss is Geralt (Maybe he even thinks he's an angel! Lmfao)

• Geralt getting lovingly bullied by his brothers for taking care of his songbird so well

• Geralt's crew revenge-robbing or revenge-killing Jaskier's family if we do Option one for the story (attempted-murder route), since it's implied it happens in Option Two while they ransack the ship-

• Perhaps I'll do a sequel for this prompt one day for Mermaid Jaskier, I do LOVE mermaids, take this as a much smaller and much less detailed prompt for if you want that idea, too! Perhaps the Pankratz ship has a captured mer aboard, parched and dehydrated (I just mostly think it'd be funny if Geralt was checking his pulse and if he has any injuries while random other witches dump buckets of sea water on him-)

[stellanimarum]

@maasmuse for Fallon

Margot Louisa, Princess Royal of the Pankratz Lettenhove family was beautiful, bright and a little (a lot) spoiled. Inevitable when it was her brother who doted on her and whole range of servants raised her. While she did get told no, it was rare and she had talents to get her own way.

"Oh how terrible." She giggled with some of her ladies as they discussed their key pass time of the latest courtly gossip. She worked hard to keep the right things being passed around on her brother's behalf given he couldn't get involved in such things and didn't have the time.

Upon the return of her favoured lady though she saw her and quickly dismissed them. No longer interested in what they had to report, whereas she did want to hear from Fallon.

"What took you so long?!“ She complained, with a small sulking frown.

"Jeyne's idea of courtly intrigue is so dire."

[solcorvidae]

Modern Witcher AU: My Headcanons (part 4)

Jaskier’s full legal name is Julian Alfred Pankratz. His parents have called him Jaskier since he was a baby and it stuck. He is their little buttercup to this day. Jaskier will not respond to ‘Julian’ unless it is painfully obvious it’s him who’s being spoken to. Jaskier has never truly been ‘Julian’ but for whatever reason his parents never got his name legally changed. He has lived his whole life as Jaskier despite his paperwork, ID, passport, and medications all having PANKRATZ, Julian Alfred written on them. He will probably never do it himself either, leaving him stuck with a legal name he has never gone by.

Jaskier sizes down his base layer clothes to be slim-fitting and Geralt sizes up. They very easy could share most clothes (both ways) with no issue if they both wore clothes that actually fit how they are supposed to. However, since they don't, they run the risk of having Jaskier's T-shirts becoming stretched out.

Jaskier sticks to stealing Geralt's clothes. Geralt lets him.

Cats loathe Aiden. (Yes, he will be appearing at some point.)

Eskel’s voice carries through walls even when he is speaking quietly. It can be felt more than heard because it emanates so strongly from his chest.

Jaskier can do a scarily accurate impression of Geralt and can easily fool people over the CB radio.

Jaskier was a loud kid. Like the type of kid that will go up to a stranger, basically yell “DO YOU LIKE MY SHOES?” and then start aggressively stomping around in his light-up sketchers.

Jaskier’s family was initially unsure of Geralt when they first met. It only took twenty minutes for his mom and dad to decide they adored him. They think that he is the most polite young man and a pleasure to be around. They spend hours talking (having a friendly and enthusiastic interrogation) with him, asking Geralt a billion questions about himself and his relationship with their son… how they met, what they’ve been up to, where Geralt is from, etc. Geralt is overwhelmed but feels welcomed by the end of the night, no longer feeling the judgement boring into the back of his skull like he did when he’d first arrived.

Jaskier’s mom has plenty of embarrassing scrapbook photos of him throughout his life. Geralt half-jokingly asks to see them and she shows him every single one. Jaskier groans and hides behind his hands the whole time but finds the scene in front of him endearing… so he tolerates it.

Eskel makes tea for people. People he loves, people he’s comforting, his friends, his family, his lover, strangers, people who he’s just meeting for the first time… there’s tea for every occasion.

While Geralt’s creative outlet is painting, Eskel crochets. He makes his friends and family warm clothes to bundle up in during the winter months. He sews a custom made tag into each of his pieces. The tag reads: ‘Handmade with Love by Eskel Bellegarde���

Vesemir has three giant boxes of all the boys’ school work, projects, and art work. He vows to never get rid of any of it.

Vesemir drinks his morning coffee from a mug that is practically illegible at this point but had once upon a time said “World’s Best Dad!” across the front.

Geralt knows how to ride a motorcycle... he just doesn’t have one anymore. He bought a used one for a wicked deal in highschool but sold it for his old pickup when he realized how impractical it was only a few years later. He will probably let his license expire because he can’t be arsed to retake the test.

Geralt walks on his toes. His heels hardly ever touch the ground unless he is wearing supportive shoes. He walks near-silently when donning bare-feet or socks. However, he walks heel-to-toe when he wears his boots. He has custom insoles to prevent knee pain and the shoes really do help his aches and pains... but he can be heard for miles--especially when wearing his favourite cowboy boots. Think: a set of heels on an office building floor.

Lambert gets sympathy pains and feels ill when his loved ones are in pain or sick. This, along with the guilt he feels causes him to isolate and distance himself from them when he is not needed/wanted in the room. He is still very present and loving when he is around (even more than he usually is) but he feels tremendous guilt that leads him to spend far more time in his room/at a friends house than usual.

[Modern AU Headcanon Masterpost]

[fangirleaconmigo]

Yennskier to Geraskefer concept (Yennefer x Jaskier with some + Geralt at the end)

Ok so what if the very first time Yen and Jaskier ever defend each other, it is a complete shock to both of them and happens (of all places) in front of his parents?

(TW: Yen is in disguise so some of the flirting could be read as dubcon but no bards were hurt in the making of this fic, I promise)

So when they first meet, Yen and Jaskier snipe at each other relentlessly, right?

Scheming, devious, calamitous witch.

Useless cock for brains.

Geralt has taken to tuning them out completely.

By complete random bad luck, Yen learns one night in tavern gossip that Jaskier isn’t his real name. She becomes suspicious of his intentions. She brings her concerns to Geralt.

“They said that his true name is Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz. Is that true?” she asks Geralt.

“His name is Jaskier,” Geralt answers, sounding exhausted.

She pushes. “I know that family. They are well connected, prominent, and bigoted. Your bard could very possibly be asked to turn Ciri in to curry their favor.”

"This is insane, Yen." Geralt drops his head and looks miserably into his tankard. “You two need to start getting along, or I’m going to age at least a century before winter.”

"That's not what this is about!"

She gives up on him. He will never think clearly in these matters. She suspects he has romantic feelings for the bard, which she wouldn't mind, she isn't much for monogamy herself, but oh god, the bard??? That smarmy, whorish little bastard? Unthinkable.

She decides to pay Jaskier’s parents a visit just to reassure herself that they aren’t interested in her daughter.

She disguises herself with a glamour and gets herself on the guest list of one of their fancy parties. She is playing the part of a voluptuous blonde wife of an absent Duke.

Jaskier is supposed to be back at Oxenfurt. That’s what he told Geralt, anyway. But she walks in the door and there he is, holding court at the party in his well fitted satin, with his glinting charming smile, and his flushed cheeks and…and…well…other things that Yen would never admit to noticing.

But what was he doing there?

Why did he lie about being at Oxenfurt? Could he already be colluding with his parents?

At the thought, she expects to feel rage. But an entirely different feeling wells up in her.

Disappointment. Hurt.

She shakes it off. Stupid. She's used too much magic for her glamour. It's making her weak. She takes a seat directly across from him at dinner.

He introduces himself to her and kisses her hand. Julian Alfred Pankratz.

His lips brush the top of her hand and in response she acts like one of his tarts. Only because she has to get him to trust her, obviously. Yen smiles and flutters her eyes at him. His smile is charming. So is his admiration of her form. When his gaze drops ever so briefly to her cleavage she feels something else unexpected.

Warmth.

She shakes that off too.

His parents sit on either side of him. Yen doesn’t waste much time. By the time the second course is served she brings up Ciri and the war.

She doesn’t expect Jaskier’s mom to immediately bring up the horrid witch who is hiding the child. The slut who doesn’t know her place. The evil women who schemes and plots and who gets what she wants by manipulating men with her whoredom.

Yen is used to being called these things by conservative wives. But she finds her eyes flick to Jaskier, and her heart leaps to her throat. It makes her so, so angry that she cares what he will say.

He has always seemed like an enemy? But here? Behind actual enemy lines? He feels like a friend.

Fuck.

But Jaskier averts his eyes. He stares at his plate. He isn’t going to join in, but he isn’t going to defend her either. Obviously.

She DOESNT care godsdamnit. She’s just caught up in the moment. She DOES NOT CARE.

So it is entirely incidental that she experiences immense, sweet relief when he smiles softly to himself before he replies.

“Oh mother,” he says genially, “but I know you. It is simple envy that moves you to such crude accusations.”

His mother splutters. “Do you think I covet her false beauty—“

“Not her beauty.” Jaskier says, still calm. Still affable. “She is beautiful of course, but nothing like that. It’s just that you and father are so small minded and so constantly desperate for the approval of other, equally small minded people, that when you see someone who has a soul and who lives in a free spirited manner, that you ache with envy and impotent rage. And that is why you use such uncharacteristically crude and low language to describe her. That is why you yearn to oppress her and control her. That is why you want to put her in her place.”

Jaskier smiles genially and takes another bite of his lobster.

His parents turn so pink with rage that they look purple.

Yen hasn't felt such satisfaction in so very long. She also isn't used to people taking up for her. Not in places like this.

His father is the first to regain his composure. He smiles and looks around the table at the nervous nobles who are trying their best to ignore the awkwardness.

He smiles around the table. “You have to excuse my son. Instead of accepting the position at Oxenfurt he roams the earth thinking with nothing but his base impulses. He knows nothing of the real world. He is young, idealistic, and completely useless.”

There are nervous chuckles around the table when Yennefer speaks up.

“Actually,” she says in between sips of champagne, “I have heard of your son. Jaskier is that right?”

Jaskier looks at her, surprised and deeply pleased.

His parents smile tight lipped.

“Ridiculous name,” his mother says.

“Well,” says Yen, “you’re probably right. The vaunted thinkers and academics who laud his poetry coast to coast are probably incorrect. The soldiers who offer their undying gratitude that he has documented their deeds are wrong. The traumatized war orphans who cry and say that he has saved their lives with his art are surely absurd. It is you who are correct, I’m sure. Of all the ways you can spend your life, comforting and inspiring people does sound like an utter waste of time.”

She primly sips her drink and the grateful, genuine smile that spreads on Jaskier’s face like the sunrise rockets straight to her soul.

The rest of the dinner is tense, but Yennefer is having a wonderful time. Conversing with a Jaskier like this---he is adoring and attentive--it is addictive. She never knew it could feel like this with him.

And after dinner, when he finds her outside the privy and steps incredibly close to her, his hand sliding around her waist, she is shocked into silence by her desire. She doesn't find her voice until he has kissed her ever so softly and tenderly that she almost melts onto his parents stone floors.

"J-j-askier," she manages to mumble.

"Yes, love. Marina, is it?" he murmurs into her ear, his nimble fingers trailing from her neck down, down down. "Beautiful name. Beautiful woman."

She steps back and lets his arms fall heavily to the side.

"I must tell you something. And you will regret what you just did."

It could have sounded like a threat. She meant it to sound like a threat. But it just sounds sad. The glamour falls from her and his face transforms into shock.

She swallows the lump in her throat as he steps back so hard, he hits the wall and covers his mouth with his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he demands. He looks white as a sheet. Terrified.

"I just did!"

"Earlier!"

"Because!" Yen squeaks. (She never squeaks) "I was...flummoxed. I--oh a pox on it, Jaskier, I liked it. Is that what you want to hear? You asshole? You bastard?"

His hand falls slowly from his face. Then a soft, tiny, smug little smile begins to form.

"Ha. I knew it."

He did not know it.

She smacks him. He laughs.

Then he remembers something and falls back against the wall againt groaning. "Oh, Geralt. Geralt. I'm a terrible friend. I will have to run off, to never return--"

She smacks him again. "Ow, what?"

"Calm down. Let's go see him together. I have a feeling he is going to like what we have to say."

The next time they kiss, it is in front of a roaring fire in her home in Vengerberg, with Geralt caressing them both, and watching with fondness.

"If I had known that it was this easy to shut the two of you up, I would have insisted on it a long time ago."

[lassieposting]

So in NOTW Illyana had three daughters with Lord Zerbst, one of whom had just made her a grandmother before the Sacking of Kaer Morhen. As children of a noble house, those daughters would've married into other noble houses across the Continent.

Anyway AU where she survives to see her youngest daughter marry a Pankratz of Lettenhove.

She survives to see the birth of several grandchildren and even more great-grandchildren, including a brood of Pankratzes.

Everyone in Jaskier's family knows that Great-Grandmama had a tame witcher. It's part of the Family Lore. Jaskier - Julian, back then - spent more time in disgrace at Great-Grandmama's lake house than his better-behaved siblings, and he's fairly sure he actually bumped into the witcher - gods, what was his name? - once or twice; tall and strong, golden-eyed and intimidating. He's only ever known Great-Grandmama as a twinkly-eyed, wizened raisin of a woman who walked with a cane, but her witcher looked young enough to be her grandson himself, no older than Father.

(He's fairly sure he only remembers these chance meetings at all because Great-Grandmama's witcher really had been quite startlingly handsome. Jaskier has always appreciated broad shoulders and toned arms. Perhaps this was something of a formative experience for him.)

She told him once that they'd once been children together, and that her witcher had grown boys of his own, but Jaskier hadn't believed her. No way they were the same age.

They seemed happy, though, despite the age gap. He remembers her giggling like a schoolgirl as her witcher swept her off her feet to lift her into her carriage as though she weighed nothing at all.

(Looking back, and with the advantage of knowing Geralt, the swords the monster hunter carried probably weighed more than she did, by then. She really was terribly old.)

He remembers the roll of letters she kept in her bedside drawer - yes, he was a snoop as a boy, sue him - tied up with a silk ribbon. Remembers the stories she told him when he was small, of brave and heroic monster hunters protecting the innocent from a grisly fate.

He finds himself telling Geralt's family this little nugget of Pankratz family history over an evening of ale, passing on Great-Grandmama's stories. The one about the two young witchers teaming up against a manticore. The one about the big battle at some hidden witcher fortress a long way from Lettenhove - the battle that almost killed her witcher, and would've killed her too had he not sent her away beforehand. The one about the witcher and the elf king.

And when he finishes the story, he realises that his audience has gone very quiet and very still

And they're all staring at Vesemir

[inexplicifics]

I’ve had this strange recurring dream in your AWAU world where Jaskier has a much younger sister who he was very close with before being sent as tribute, who -so distraught with Jaskier’s absence- runs away and finds herself swept away to a distant land through a wayward portal. Presumed dead, this noble **child** gets like, adopted by pirates, then becomes an assassin, a dancer, sneaks her way into different courts and adopts countless names before meeting Ciri one day and reuniting with her brother. I think I’m a sucker for family reunions and Jack-of-all-trade characters haha. Your sandbox inspires so much freedom <3

Oh, delightful! Pirate-assassin-dancer jack-of-all-trades Pankratz daughter is wonderful, and I'm so glad you've added her to the sandbox!