#Paints such an interesting picture of her that she would risk her life for this still

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

a canary id like to know more about is erique. She was a prisoner and she was pardoned after utaya. But then she stayed on as a warden. After utaya.

[bonecarversbestie]

An Ode to Spring

After a conversation with some friends I was inspired to write a fairytale style story about Tamlin drinking from the pool of starlight in an attempt to be happy again after Feyre left. I also drew this picture. ~1000 words Read on AO3 or below the cut

Once upon a time, in a Land of Eternal Spring, a Faerie prince was born to a cold and ruthless King and a kind and caring Queen. The prince’s name was Tamlin.

The King raised Tamlin with a firm hand, showing him the ways of the Seven Kingdoms and teaching him to rule the land of Spring without mercy. 

But Tamlin had little interest in ruling. He had a gentle heart like his mother’s, and he was drawn not to the throne room but to the fields and forests beyond it. 

He spent his days roaming the lands around the castle, writing poetry, and playing his fiddle for the birds in the trees and the mice in the fields. 

One day, Tamlin came across an enchanted pool buried deep in the forest. It was filled not with water but with liquid starlight.

He had heard stories of such a pool since he was a boy. The legends claimed that anyone who drank from the starlight waters would be happy until his last breath. But Tamlin never imbibed, choosing instead to save the magic for someone who truly needed it.

Years later, an Evil Prince from a kingdom of darkness came in the night and killed the King and Queen, forcing Tamlin to set aside his fiddle in favor of a crown that he never wanted.

Tamlin cared deeply for his people and longed to forge a new path for himself and his kingdom, but he felt trapped by the centuries of strict laws and traditions that remained from his father’s reign.

One day, an Evil Sorceress declared herself High Queen over the Seven Kingdoms.  The Sorceress Queen coveted Tamlin, but he resisted her advances, much to her displeasure. 

As punishment for his defiance, the Queen placed a curse over the Kingdoms, which only Tamlin could break by finding a human maiden with hatred in her heart for Faeries and winning her love.

For nearly fifty years, Tamlin sent his men into the Human Lands to find the Maiden, and for nearly fifty years, he was unsuccessful. Many of his men did not return, and when he ran out of soldiers, he was forced to send his friends. Soon only one remained—his most trusted courtier and emissary, Lucien, who entered Tamlin’s study bearing grave news.

 “Andras,” Lucien said, hands trembling, “is dead.” 

He had been killed by a human Maiden. 

Though Tamlin mourned his friend, Andras, he knew this Maiden was his last chance to break the curse, so he brought her to his home. The Maiden was sullen and starving, so Tamlin gave her food and fine clothes and her own room in his castle. When The Maiden said she wished to paint, Tamlin gifted her the castle’s art gallery. 

He watched as painting started to bring joy to the Maiden’s life. Her passion inspired him, stirring his long-forgotten love of music and poetry.

Tamlin found that he was falling in love with The Maiden, but as his love grew, so did his fear. He knew that to break the curse would put The Maiden’s life at great risk. And so, to save his love, he sent The Maiden away.

But the Maiden was very brave. She returned to the Faerie Lands, defeated the Sorceress Queen, and saved the Seven Kingdoms. 

Tamlin, grateful for all The Maiden had done, asked her to marry him. But she was in love with another—the Prince of Darkness, now a King and Tamlin’s sworn enemy. To add insult to injury, The Maiden took Tamlin’s last remaining friend, Lucien, with her when she left.

Though he still loved her, Tamlin could see that The Maiden was happier in her new kingdom, and let her go.

And so, Tamlin was utterly alone. His cries of anguish made the trees and mountains tremble. In his despair, he tore his castle apart, destroying books and artwork, finally smashing his beloved fiddle to pieces before leaving his home for good.

He transformed into a great golden beast and abandoned his throne, haunting his lands until they fell to ruin.

One night, he came upon the Pool of Starlight, still shimmering brightly amidst the decay. Overcome by sorrow and desperate to be happy once more, Tamlin bent his great golden head and drank from the pool. 

Warmth and comfort filled him, and he returned to his lands, renewed. But the euphoria was short-lived, and the next day, he returned to the Pool and drank from its waters again. 

For an entire year, Tamlin returned to the Pool, drinking more deeply each day, until one morning he arrived to find it empty. He had drunk it dry, and still he was not happy.

Tamlin climbed into the empty Pool, curled up at the bottom, and cried. And as he wept, his tears filled the pool with starlight once more.

As Tamlin lay in the depths of the Pool, hoping to drown, strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him from the water. Tamlin blinked at his savior, who was shining like the sun. It was Lucien, come home at last, and his presence filled Tamlin with joy. Lucien had not forsaken him. 

From behind his back, Lucien brought forth a brand new fiddle, offering it to Tamlin as a symbol of their friendship and a reminder to follow his heart.

Tamlin reached for the fiddle, and in that moment, he saw his own hand—not the golden paw of a beast, but the hand of a man.  He took the fiddle and began to play. 

It was a joyful tune of new beginnings. The birds in the trees sang, and the mice in the field danced as Tamlin walked through his lands, filling them with music once more.

After some time, the Land of Eternal Spring became a haven for artists and lost souls, ruled by Tamlin, the wandering king who had found peace. And they all lived happily until their last breaths.

The End

[stobinesque]

The last post I reblogged has me thinking about how Lucas is treated by his friends/the wider UD gang in-universe/from a more Watsonian perspective. Because here are the facts:

Lucas has spent most of his childhood being explicitly/overtly bullied for his race [being called "Midnight" by their season 1 bullies]¹

At the beginning of Season 2, Mike clearly assumes that Lucas agreed to go as Winston for no other reason than both of them being black. But when called on this, Mike cannot bring himself to admit that's what he was thinking. (He also does not apologize to Lucas.)

Until Billy attacks him, Lucas doesn't really know why Max is trying to avoid being seen with him when Billy picks her up/at her house, but having been on the receiving end of "my family is racist so I can't be seen with you," whether or not you actively know the reason someone is trying to hide you from another person, it feels alienating. Also, he absolutely figures it out in hindsight.

But since at first he doesn't know that Billy inexplicably and aggressively hates him/doesn't want him interacting with Max, from Lucas' perspective he gets attacked by a white boy 4-5 years his senior and almost twice his size out of literally nowhere. Said boy explicitly declares to him "You're dead, Sinclair."²

Lucas, upon entering high school, decides that he wants to acquire enough social pressure to protect him and his friends from the bullying they had to deal with throughout middle school. Neither Mike nor Dustin seem willing/able to understand why he might be interested in that protection.

There are a couple different ways to interpret Lucas (and Patrick)³ choosing to stay with Jason and Andy, but I think it's reasonable to assume that Lucas would be able to recognize a mob/witch hunt forming, and I also think it is reasonable to assume that Lucas knows that mobs tend to target the most vulnerable members of a population, and that he himself both as a black kid and a member of Hellfire is at risk.

Nancy knows for a fact that Jason was at the army surplus store in search of a gun, and while it is implied that she informs the group of this, they seem not to take that into any consideration when planning because

Taken altogether, this paints a picture that in-universe, all of Lucas' friends should be intimately aware that he has experienced overt racism for his entire life. But, the Halloween costume argument also suggests that even though they're all aware of said racism, none of the white members of the group really feel comfortable talking about it. Lucas does explicitly call Mike out on thinking that he would be Winston (or that Mike can't be) "because he's black," and Mike flat out lies to his face. If this is one of the first times Lucas has confronted one of the Party members about their own implicit racism, I think it would be reasonable for him to walk away from that exchange deciding that race isn't something he can have honest conversations with his friends about.

We also never see Billy attacking Lucas addressed on-screen after it happens. Which means we never get to see anyone check-in with Lucas about what happened, or see him process what happened.

So come season 4 Lucas has great reason both to want more social capital/protection and to feel uncomfortable explicitly talking to his friends about why that might be. (Especially with the added baggage of Billy having just been killed, which assuredly inspired a lot of complicated feelings for Lucas, especially because of how much his death impacted Max.) Instead, he makes one simple request of his friends (who he both wants at his game and still wants to play D&D with them): get Eddie to reschedule the game. And, sure, it's Eddie's fault that the game doesn't get rescheduled. But it is absolutely on Mike and Dustin that they didn't choose to skip (which honestly probably would have forced Eddie to reschedule anyway??).

So for the most important game of the season, Lucas winds up without his friends or his sister there to watch him make the winning shot, and he misses out on the D&D game that he wanted to play with his friends. It's entirely possible that Lucas still would have decided to go to the afterparty even if Mike and Dustin had come to the game. But I think it's reasonably likely that he'd have gone to celebrate separately with them! Or at least would have left the party early, rather than getting so drunk he pukes the next morning. So when Jason riles the whole team into becoming a mob out for blood, Lucas ends up stuck between a rock and a hard place. He can't really say or do anything to stop Jason that doesn't also put a target on his back. Sticking with him is the best way to 1) ensure his own physical safety and 2) have any hope of protecting Eddie/his friends.

And then Lucas risks his life to lead Jason & co. off Eddie's scent and bikes eight miles to come warn Dustin that he's in danger. He actually explicitly says that Dustin is in terrible danger. Lucas (and, honestly, all of the Party--except arguably Will) at this point is intimately aware of the fact that a white boy fueled by rage can been homicidally dangerous. So the fact that even after knowing for a fact that Jason has acquired a gun, the whole team send Lucas, Erica and Max to the Creel house without weapons, protection, or any sort of plan as to how to deal with Jason & co. if they turn up is not only baffling, but honestly feels downright callous.

From a purely Watsonian perspective, Lucas has every right and reason to be absolutely livid with his friends. Their consistent inability to recognize or acknowledge the racism Lucas experiences directly results in Lucas and his sister being attacked and nearly killed--and not even by the supernatural bad guy.

¹The show never returns to this, but to me it is broadly illustrative of the racial climate in Hawkins

²Please do not waste your breath trying to argue with me that Billy "wasn't really trying to kill him." I honestly don't care either way. He threatened to kill a 13-year-old boy whose only "crime" was being black. There is no other explanation for Billy's treatment of Lucas that makes sense, since he explicitly targets him, and not Dustin or Mike. Regardless of whether or not Billy had genuine homicidal intent, Lucas had no reason to think otherwise in that moment. I have no interest in arguing this point with anyone.

³Patrick is another excellent example of the show being unable to meaningfully reckon with with its racial implications, but that's its own post.

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Out of interest for his wife, we invited [Desmoulins] to stop writing [Le Vieux Cordelier], telling him that he was running the greatest dangers, and that, not being able to dip my pen in blood, I was going to stop writing my journal, Révolutions de Paris. He answered me: “What are you going to do? Maybe you will write our crimes.” Which, indeed, I did. His wife arrived; he told her the subject of my approach against him. She said: “My husband would be a coward to stop his Vieux Cordelier at a time when tyranny has no limits!” “Well, I am sorry, madame,” I said to her, to predict that you yourself will be one of the victims; those who govern respect neither beauty nor kindness.” Leaving her house, I ran to her mother to tell her my fears for her daughter and son-in-law. This lady admitted to me that she could not see without pain the stubbornness of her daughter, and the influence she had over her husband, who had much less character than her.

Biographie universelle et historique des femmes célèbres mortes ou vivantes (1830) by Louis-Marie Prudhomme, volume 2, page 273-274. Prudhomme gets in a huge load of errors throughout the rest of the article (Lucile’s first name, date of birth, marriage and death, the circumstances regarding her arrest as well as Saint-Just attending Louis-le-Grand with Desmoulins and being one of their wedding witnesses) but seeing as he claims it is from he himself this anecdote originates I’m willing to give it a bit more credibility. It also fits nicely with this other anecdote, reported by both Marcellin Matton (in 1834) and Nicolas Villiaume (in 1851) who in their turn had acquired it from Lucile’s mother:

[Guillaume] Brune, afraid of the danger that Camille, his former college friend [sic], was running, came to find him and begged him, for the interest that true republicans had in him, for the love of his parents, for the tenderness of his wife, not to not further irritate the enemies that his satirical and biting wit had made him, to show more moderation in the picture he painted of the misfortunes of the times, and even to cease the publication of his Vieux Cordelier. Camille, who had initially only responded with jokes, began to justify his behavior, as beautiful as it was angry, with reasons to which it was not easy to answer.

”I admit it to you,” Brune said to him, ”I cannot help but admire you; However, be certain that with more moderation you will do real good, while by continuing you give yourself up, you immolate yourself, you lose yourself and you save nothing.”

”Do you believe,” he then replied, ”that they will dare to attack me, declare me a traitor, me and my Vieux Cordelier, and that for having requested a committee of clemency and justice; for wanting to complete and consolidate the work of our revolution? I have all of France om my side. Desenne (that was the name of his bookseller) cannot suffice for the sale of my issues. I am read, heard everywhere.”

”You are also read by Barère who recognizes himself; by Saint-Just, who promised to make you carry your head like Saint Denis.” 

”That’s true,” he replied, ”I remember it: it was a very bad joke, and my answer was much better. Have you seen my letter to Dillon? In the approach and posture of Saint-Just, we see that he regards his head as the cornerstone of the republic, and that he carries it on his shoulders with respect like a holy sacrament. Was I wrong, and do you think that for such a good joke he would want to kill me? I only ask him for one favor, and that is to wait until he has given a valid response.”

Madame Desmoulins had invited Brune to family dinner, it was served and they sat down at the table. Camille, gradually warming up, explained to him the bright future he was preparing for his homeland.

”Believe me,” he said to him, ”I am the man of the revolution. When it was necessary, I risked my life for her at the Palais-Royal. At that time they also wanted to make me worry, like you are doing today; but the nation walked with me, and I was at peace. I am still sure, with my Vieux Cordelier, to lead her in my footsteps, to respond to her wishes, to her needs; public opinion will still be my strength.”

”And if it gives your enemies time to strike you?”

”I have ready friends. Have you not heard the eloquent voice of Philippeaux? Danton sleeps: it is the lion's sleep; but he will wake up to defend my cause.”

His friend was far from convinced and repeated the same prayers to him; but Lucille, who at first had shown herself to be very sensitive to Brune's worries and fears, now shares all of Camille's enthusiasm; she notices that this interview has made him hot, she immediately puts a handkerchief on his forehead; gives him a kiss on the cheek and cries: “Let him do it, Brune, let him do it, he must save his country; let him fulfill his mission.” Then she pours her husband and Brune an exquisite chocolate with enchanting grace. When the chocolate had been served, Camille said: edamus et bibamus cras enim muriemur (let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die); while pronouncing these words of death, he affected an air of gaiety and took his child, his little Horace, on his knees. Camille had only supported his thesis because of his wife, whom he did not want to sadden for anything in the world.

[animezinglife]

I'm really enjoying how different my Lavellan (Erelith) is from my Trevelyan (Mira). There are some constraints to that with the way the game is set up, but where Mira is admittedly more similar to me in how she thinks and views the world, Erelith is challenging me to branch outside that box.

Erelith loves the rush and thrill of life. Where Mira's more reserved, Erelith is more openly passionate. She cannot fit comfortably into a mold, and certainly has a harder time being able to separate herself from the Inquisitor role than Mira does. While it's not easy for Mira either (at all, given her humility and caution towards her own shortcomings), she at least clearly sees the reason to serve as a symbol towards the people doing so gives hope to.

Mira never claims to be holy. She simply hopes what she's doing as Inquisitor will be enough. She longs for a sense of safety, security, steadiness, and being seen as the human being she is. She's exhausted by the end of it all and is quite happy to retire to a quieter life with her husband. To Mira, there's freedom enough in pursuing one's passions at one's own pace, building a home full of love and friends, and doing good as she will. There's freedom in simply being Mira---not Lady Trevelyan, not a mage, and not the Inquisitor---and doing what she wants.

What she wants is to experience life.

Erelith cannot separate the pressure of being Inquisitor from herself. She's always searching for some piece of her that's missing and is always evading her. Too much structure and the thought of being caught in too "small" a world drives her mad: she constantly needs to be moving and on the go. She constantly seeks more but has trouble defining what that "more" is. That often drives her to be impulsive. It drives her to more quickly and decisively analyze risks, and she's far more likely than Mira to take them.

She struggled with her clan's small, isolated world. She struggles with the bounds being Inquisitor brings and having to walk on eggshells around nobles (which Mira hates too, but is more accustomed to by having been born into that world and dealing with Circle politics).

Meeting Solas is like finding someone on the same wavelength for the first time. The way he thinks and his journeys into the Fade paint a picture of a life that goes well beyond what she's ever imagined a person could achieve. He sees and understands worlds and creatures beyond the bounds and constraints of humans and the Dalish alike, and while they butt heads a little at first, she finds the way he thinks and speaks intoxicating. She wants to experience what he has (at least, what she interprets these experiences to be).

She feels a rush around him. Solas is exciting to her. Erelith's own sights are ever-expanding, and being near him and talking with him just syncs with that part of her brain that craves more. She kind of likes someone going toe-to-toe with her too even if she doesn't realize it's freaking Fen'Harel.

Mira wants to be part of this world (where she never felt like she was or could be before).

Erelith has always been too "big" for it. I think she's never understood just how deeply that runs or why that even is, and I suspect it's going to play a big role in her story.

I also think it's quite funny to consider how differently they think about the other's love interest, too.

Mira loves Solas. She is genuinely intrigued by him and could spend hours discussing magic, philosophy, and listening in mutually fascinated, shared respect towards each other. Yet they're so very different in terms of their lives and what they want from them, and they're not attracted to each other. Mira surprises Solas and undoes a lot of what he's believed about humans, and he cares for her as a friend.

Erelith gets along fine with Cullen even if she doesn't really "get" him. She respects him and what he's doing for the Inquisition. She has eyes, so I think she would make the simple observation that he's good-looking, but it wouldn't go beyond that.

Yet I also think if she were stuck in a room with him long enough, she'd throw herself off a cliff.

All this to say, I am thoroughly enjoying exploring these two in particular and everything their stories bring.

[ragingadhd]

It’s high time I stop gatekeeping my OCs and finally make a master post about them

Vux is the princess of Yuravund, an intergalactic kingdom. Though she can be impulsive and short-tempered, she has a strong moral compass that she sticks to. She’s creative, strong-willed, empathetic, and a natural leader. She’s more than eager to become queen someday and prove what she’s capable of, but her procession to the throne ends up being a messier and more costly process than she (or anyone) wanted.

Zebulin is Vux’s companion. He’s a part of the royal guard, though his skills and interests would make him a better spy than a soldier. He’s cool under pressure and has a knack for seeing the big picture. He’s fascinated by languages and codes, but he doesn’t get much time for that to be any more than a hobby. He’s got some self-confidence issues, which can lead to him making pointless mistakes or needlessly avoiding risks. But at the end of the day, he is a deeply loyal friend and pleasant company.

(More under the cut)

Alexis was Vux’s mother. She was loving and soft-spoken, but that’s not to be confused with being unopinionated. She was very open and caring with Vux, but closed off with the general public. Though she was tight-lipped about her past, it was speculated that a tragic series of events led her to living in Yuravund. She loved art of all sorts, especially as an artist herself. She passed her time creating beautiful, yet bizarre psychedelic paintings. Sadly, she was targeted and killed in a politically motivated attack around the time Vux was turning 20.

Bazzu was a close personal friend to Alexis. They are a wise and peaceful soul with a myriad of psychic gifts, such as foresight and even mind-reading on rare occasion. They don’t believe in a divine right and wrong, rather that every action we do is equal in value. This leads them to be very kind and compassionate on a personal basis, but apparently cold and disinterested to large-scale issues. They are very mystic and cryptic, and whether that’s a result of their psychic abilities or if they just enjoy messing with people is up in the air.

Redd is the king of Yuravund and Vux’s father. Centuries ago, he survived a mass extinction that eradicated his species. He then created Yuravund from the ashes, and centuries later, it became the vast and powerful kingdom it is today. He’s patient, cunning, and charming, with a draw to the finer things in life. He has a connection to some kind of higher power, but how or what it is remains unclear. It is however clear enough for many of his subjects to believe he was divinely appointed as king.

[borgialucrezia]

I know you focus more on Lucrezia and Juan (valid), but I was curious if you knew any books that went in-depth about Giulia? If not Giulia, any about the family in general, I just love the historical sources you pull from to parallel the show

hi!! i adore giulia so much! she's a truly captivating and intelligent figure to me as she wielded significant influence within her family based on the strength of her personality. remarkably at some point she defied the pope not just once, but twice, risking herself and her loved ones in the process. however, her close bond with lucrezia remains one of my most cherished aspects of the borgia history 🙏

“Admitedly, [Giulia] was quite different from Vanozza and in a manner that was not simply due to the great difference in their ages. Where Vanozza had been dedicated both to her own financial interest and her lover’s well-being, Giulia was lighthearted and featherbrained, never looking beyond the delights of today. and where Vanozza sought to tie her lover by submission and acquiescence, Giulia displayed an independence of spirit which kept Borgia’s interest at fever pitch even while such spirit could enrage him.”

— E.R Chamberlain - The Fall of the House of Borgia

“Vasari tells us, in his Vita degli Artefici, that over the door of one of the rooms in the Borgia Tower, the artist painted a picture of the Virgin Mary in the likeness of Giulia Farnese with Alexander kneeling to her in adoration, arrayed in full pontificals. Such a thing would have been horrible, revolting, sacrilegious.”

— Rafael Sabatini, The Life of Cesare Borgia

"The fifteen-year-old Giulia was already famous for her beauty. Giulia Bella, the Romans would call her a few years later, was not only beautiful, but intelligent, “endowed with gentleness and humanity.” Blond was the preferred hair color in those days, and legend has it that Giulia was blond. But a letter written to Cesare describes her as fusco (“dark complected”) with black eyes, a round face, and quidem ardor (“a certain vivacity”)."

— Emma lucas, Lucrezia Borgia

here are some fiction/biographies where giulia has highlighted roles (some of these books delve into giulia's relationship with rodrigo and the influence ower she wielded within the family, her political maneuvering and unwavering loyalty to her loved ones, capturing her fierce intelligence and her relationship with lucrezia) :

Lucretia Borgia According to Original Documents and Correspondence of Her Day (Ferdinand Gregorovius)

The Life and times of Lucrezia Borgia, Maria Bellonci

Cesare Borgia: La sua vita, La sua famiglia, I suoi tempi, Gustavo Sacerdote.

Lucrezia Borgia, Emma Lucas

Cesare Borgia, Rafael Sabatini

The Fall of the House of Borgia, E.R Chamberlain

Blood & Beauty, Sarah Dunant

The Borgias: Power & Fortune, Paul Strathern

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Ok a month or so ago I mentioned how Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson is ingrained in my head as a Bloom song and said I could do a whole analysis. Exactly one (1) person responded saying they were interested (shoutout to @melissathettpdmember who I promised to tag, so here ya go!), so I figured why not post it on Bloom’s birthday?

Please note I grew up with the 4Kids dub and it is still my dub of choice, so if anything contradicts the RAI dub just keep that in mind lol

(Actual lyrical analysis below the cut)

Grew up in a small town

And when the rain would fall down

I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be

And if I'd end up happy

I would pray (I would pray)

This lyric paints the picture of a kid/teenager unhappy in their life and dreaming of moving on to bigger and better things.

Bloom grew up in Gardenia (seemingly a relatively small town? It at least doesn’t seem to be a huge city) and didn’t have many friends growing up. Even if we want to take the childhood information s4 and s6 give us (Andy as her past boyfriend and Selina as a childhood friend), she obviously wasn’t in a good place with either of them in season 1. Seeing as, you know, she leaves Earth and the only person that asks about her is freaking Mitzi.

We know she’s a daydreamer and loves fairytales. That’s one of the first things we learn about her, actually.

We also have canon examples of Bloom dramatically staring out of windows as it rains, haha.

Trying hard to reach out

But when I tried to speak out

Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here

But something felt so wrong here

So I prayed (I would pray)

I could break away

This goes back to some of my points from before about Bloom feeling lonely and like she doesn’t belong, no matter how hard she tries. Feeling like there’s somewhere else out there that she’s meant to be (aka the Magic Dimension).

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky

And I'll make a wish

Take a chance

Make a change

And break away

Pretty self explanatory: she quite literally discovers she has wings and has to learn how to fly!

She takes a huge risk by “breaking away” from Earth and going to Alfea without knowing anything about her powers. She does everything she can to learn about her past, powers, and to save the Magic Dimension - heck, the whole world.

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

I'll take a risk

Take a chance

Make a change

And break away

Bloom meets the fairy of the sun and moon. She metaphorically is stepping out of the darkness of not knowing about her powers into Stella’s sunlight and the knowledge that she has magic.

She might be leaving Earth, but Bloom doesn’t forget her parents there. This is a theme that goes through the whole series, even when she starts searching for her birth parents - the first place she always runs to when things go wrong is Gardenia, her home.

Wanna feel the warm breeze

Sleep under a palm tree

Feel the rush of the ocean

Get on board a fast train

Travel on a jet plane far away

(I will)

And break away

This doesn’t apply to anything I can think of super well, but she does indeed travel on fast moving vehicles pretty often lol. And she does get to take some vacations! Think of Mambochiwambo, haha.

Buildings with a hundred floors

Swinging 'round revolving doors

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me

But gotta keep moving on, moving on

Fly away, break away

Bloom is looking for something, somewhere bigger, knowing she’s meant for something more. She thinks that’s just being a fairy, but it turns out it’s so much more.

I find the “revolving doors” line also especially relevant to Bloom. She hits a lot of dead ends in the truth about her past and feels she’s just going in circles. But she doesn’t give up. She keeps going. Keeps flying.

Looking for more songs that remind me of Bloom? Check out my Spotify playlist!

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

I just finished reading your FUHR story and I’m feeling emotional. I was so heartbroken for them all, but you ended it on a hopeful not (which my soft heart appreciates!)

You’re so good at sprinkling in the back story and little elements to flesh out the characters. I wrote down ‘You cry at commercials’ because that really painted the picture of who Peeta is in this universe to me.

And then there’s this!

She watches as Gale strides over to the useless machine in her yard and tries to crank it, with no luck.

Which felt like a summary of how Katniss views their relationship.

No pressure, but I’d love to hear how you imagine Katniss, Peeta, and Camilla’s story playing out 🩶

Hey Love, Thank you for the kind words about my piece for the FUHR collection. I still haven't even managed to read any of it, wah!

It warms my heart that you're interested in how Camille, Katniss, and Peeta all come together as a family (because that is their endgame lol).

Basically, I imagined that Katniss has this big empty house that's also full of memories and nostalgia. She's subconsciously longing for it to be a place of life, love, and laughter again. The ending scene is meant to be a hopeful note and imply that Peeta and Camille do make it out to Katniss's home again to help out with the leaves, but then taking care of the house, giving Camille the chance to experience homey events becomes more and more of a thinly veiled excuse. It would be a bit of a slow burn, mainly because both K&P have had relationships tank horribly and wouldn't want to rush into anything. I imagined Katniss would slide most easily into a more maternal role with Camille, helping her to adjust to her new school and everything else, faster than she'd allow herself to admit her feelings for Peeta.

Caring for Camille is safer, in Katniss's mind. And she'd be more likely to convince herself that her interest in Peeta is solely due to her love for Camille than it is about Peeta himself. Of course, she'd be lying to herself. She'd be smitten with him ealry on and in denial about it. Similarly, Peeta would convince himself that Camille is the one drawing Katniss's attention, not him.

They'd be pining idiots for a long time. At least a year, until Peeta's father passes away while Camille is in California with her mother. Katniss comforts Peeta and one thing leads to another, they wind up comforting each other/grieving together over their lost parents and their failed marriages. Much catharsis happens.

About a month after the funeral, Katniss while Katniss is at Peeta and Camille's place, a storm rolls in. She's stubbornly insisting that she should go. Peeta's insisting she needs to stay and not risk the weather. She winds up staying. Chaste bed sharing happens, and in the morning, Katniss kisses him for the first time.

From their, it isn't long before the chaste bed sharing becomes a frequent occurrence, and not much longer after that when it's not so chaste bed sharing, and within weeks of that, they're married and moved into Katniss's house, because this would've happened anyways.

[rms10]

Assuming Azula ever manages to work through her issues and get de-Sozinized, do you think Azula is ever capable of reconciling with Zuko, Ursa, Mai, Ty Lee, Ursa, and/or Iroh?

Because it seems pretty clear from her solo comic that she did care for them, or at least wanted them in her life, and was/still is deeply hurt by their "betrayals." So it seems highly likely that once she worked through her issues and indoctrination, she would be willing to do anything to have them back in her life, this time on healthier grounds.

And this is supported, at least in regards to Mai, by the canon cookbook, which happens if I remember correctly around 15 years after the end of the war and has Mai and Azula on such good speaking terms that Mai can tease Azula about her "cherry-pit incident."

But on the other hand, her solo comic strongly suggested that part of the reason why she rejects redemption is because she doesn't want to deal with the pain that would come from acknowledging she hurt her loved ones.

So it is seems equally likely that she would avoid reconciling with them due to a mix of guilt, self-loathing, and, in regards to Mai and Ty Lee, not wanting to force herself upon them again. Especially since, in regards to the latter proposition, is implied that Azula didn't punish the Fire Warriors for leaving her since she didn't want to repeat her mistakes with Mai and Ty Lee.

However, even if she was willing to reconcile with her loved ones, they may not want to reconcile with her, even if she did everything humanly possible to make amends to them, after everything she did to them and/or their loved ones, with Ursa in my opinion being the only one who would have true, unconditional love, and thus forgiveness, for Azula.

In fact, in my opinion, the comics and extended lore have all but said this is be the case for Mai and Ty Lee, and I think Zuko after the events of S&S would feel the same way as well.

So do you think Azula is ever capable of reconciling with Zuko, Ursa, Mai, Ty Lee, Ursa, and/or Iroh, and if so, to what degree?

This is an interesting question, and really feeds back into whether Azula can be redeemed and what any redemption for her will look like. At the end of the show, we see her broken down, severely damaged and traumatized by losing at the only thing she still pictured herself as being superior at. It left her on the edge, where her story could be take anywhere. In fact, in many ways she has the most open-ended future of anyone at that point. Our central protagonists mostly have fairly well defined futures for them, and of course those are largely confirmed in LoK.

The comics really didn't do Azula any favors because of how she was written in S&S. (The comics were fairly poor on staying true to representation of all the characters, so she isn't unique.) However, they weren't wrong in painting Zuko as wanting to reconcile with her, and I think he'd welcome her back with open arms, so long as he's convinced she's not a threat to his family. As you note, Ursa would reconcile at any level she can with Azula. Despite having little choice in all the damage Azula received in her upbringing, Ursa still harbors guilt over it. She'll even take risks for herself if there's any opening for reconciliation.

Really, Mai's acceptance of Azula is going to be largely driven by Zuko's interest, since they'll reconcile at some point in the future. (The comics really made a hash out of maiko, but also made it pretty clear that they'll reconcile.) For Mai, it'd take an actual apology and proof that Azula recognized how horrible she'd been in the past to have any chance of a real reconciliation. Given that Azula was about to kill her, Mai would keep her distance and probably be a bit overprotective of Izumi around Azula, without some kind of full acceptance of her guilt by Azula.

Ty Lee goes off to join the Kyoshi Warriors, so she's in a different position in that she doesn't need to interact with Azula at all, if she doesn't want to. She found her new sisters (where she's part of a chosen matched set, lol) and may not travel back to the Fire Nation that much. She's so happy and bubbly that it's easy to assume she'd just accept Azula back, but I'm not certain that would really happen when she gets away from that toxic "friendship" and finds a real group to interact with. She might be willing to forgive, but at the same time have no real interest in reconnecting.

Thanks for the ask. These Azula asks are interesting in that she's not a character I've ever thought all the deep about post ATLA, so an aspect of those show to go explore a bit more now.

[gubbles-owo]

Contingency Contract is upon us! It's designed to be fully modular, so just pick which risks you feel comfortable with and have a go. Don't get discouraged by how overwhelming it can be at first. It can be quite fun to make the perfect match between the risks you pick and the operators you go with.

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA

babey's first CC clear... It took me a few tries to clear without any risks, albeit with the "no guards or supporters" thing already in mind. Once I finally cleared it, realized I could add on three risks ($$$ guards and supporters, max squad size 10, 1 base health) without changing up my strategy at all.

Later I did a similar run with the class toggle flipped (aka the Gubbles Learn Not to Over-Rely on Manticore Challenge™). This was woefully scuffed. The first attempt was ended prematurely when the battery in my mouse died partway through, and the second had a number of egregious tactical errors. I know how to better pull it off, but I somehow managed to clear it on try 2 so fuck it I'll take it

I was also able to pull off one of the early challenge missions (smth like "ur attack suck" and "edgy slicey boi have more hp" combo). From that I finally learned how powerful the combined slow from Manticore + Suzu really is, it's like. TURBO SLOW. er, um. extra slow. jumbo slow. molasses. paint dry. whatever u get the picture For all of em I had to borrow a friend's Kyato, and ngl I still kinda feel like I cheated? But when presented with the choice of dual-bladed delete cannon or literally not being able to clear the base stage at all... I suppose I'll take the victory supported by friends >w>`

This is the highest amount of contingency bucks I will ever possess, and of course with such a limited sum of funds and an exclusive pool of things with which to purchase with such funds, it's paramount I take the time to really consider all of my options, carefully make an informed and calculated decision on what would best be wor--

or I could immediately just manticore outfit. It's okay she's worth it So @lilyblackdrawside, I know you sent this ask much earlier on in the event, and I intended to attempt it earlier, but for a while I just... didn't feel much up for it? Hard content is hard, babey player is babey, and life always finds a way to intervene. Lack of interest, hyperfocus on N64 development, hyperfocus on beating Perfect Dark for the first time, chronic illness, mental illness, going outside for walks on the precious two (2) days it didn't feel like instant heatdeath outside. Y'know, the usual. But given that this is the last CC-- and also the first CC I was even able to participate in-- I gotta say, I wish I got to it sooner. Generally speaking, challenging content usually ain't my thing unless I'm really interested in taking it on. And in the context of arknights, I've been burned out enough by the difficulty curve of the events and complexity of managing a ton of ops to really seek any of it out. But while even the risk 3 CC was difficult... I had fun! Eliminating certain classes got me to better think of how to get the most of what ops I had available. A stronger boss and squishier ops got me to think more critically about how to keep my ops alive through the onslaught, and to discover a pretty powerful combination of slows to crank the most out of what DPS I could manage. I bet I could've managed to squeeze in a risk 4, even, if I hadn't taken it all on in the last two days of the very last CC. Not recognizing an appreciation or enjoyment of something until it's just about gone... kind of an ongoing theme with my life lately, eh? It was my first real CC, but I'm gonna miss it. Oh also the music. The music straight up kicks ass.

Also someone borrowed my Vulcan a bunch fsr?? I know who took out Manticore that one time, but as for Vulcan's eight excursions up to risk fucking ten, I've no clue who brought her along for that ride. First time Anyone has used my support units, really, so I'm glad they could be useful!! anyway everyone look at my (virtual) (anime) (adopted) daughter, she's so cool and confident and she's grown so much and im lov her

[electrikworm]

Repoding: 99 meets Wrecker

Relationships: Wrecker & 99

Content Warnings: Implied/referenced Child Abuse, Dehumanization

Summary:

99, one of the janitors at Hemlock's lab, makes a frightening discovery about the place he works at when he meets Wrecker.

Part of my TBB Selkie au. Wrecker is 5, 99 is 39.

Word count: 2’651

Read on Ao3

Masterlist

For all the 23 years 99's worked for the Hemlock family, he's never known what their labs research. He's a janitor and was never privy to that knowledge. But that doesn't mean 99 is ignorant or blind to what they do. Ms. Hemlock, the woman that had employed 99 when he was just 15 and in threat of ending up on the street, was interested in marine life, though 99 never knew what she focused on. She rarely mentioned her work to 99. When Ms. Hemlock died, the lab went to her son, Royce Hemlock. A lot of changes were made when he took over. Large parts of the main lab 99 worked at were renovated or rebuilt and most of the staff was replaced. 99 guesses the reason he was kept around was the fact he looked after Royce when he was little. The lab still focused on marine life, more obviously that when Ms. Hemlock ran it. Hemlock spoke of his goals more openly. He wishes to do what many had avoided in the past, finally brings some clarity to the world about selkies, the elusive creatures both humanoid and pinniped. 99 wasn't involved in anything of course, at least not directly. But about 5 years ago, 99 was suddenly added to a briefing. The reason was that they were getting live specimen. 99 never took much of an interest in selkies, never having had any trouble with them before. But he has heard the stories. Fanged and clawed beasts that attack fishing boats and steal children that make certain bodies of water so dangerous, no humans are allowed near them. The same rules were applied to the lab. Any enclosure housing a selkie was to be avoided by anyone but the staff trained to do so, and 99 doesn't fit that bill. He stuck to that rule, only cleaning the enclosures when the inhabitants weren't present, taking detours to avoid the creatures. 99 was curious of course. He'd never seen a selkie, not unless you count the grainy images in news reports and circulating on the internet.

The fact he heard them sometimes made taking a look even more tempting. The selkies calls were a lot more high pitched than 99 would have guessed. But curiosity never got the better of him. 99 isn't stupid, he knows he could never outrun a creature like that, not with his spine and hip twisted as they are. There's no point in taking a risk like that. 99 intended to keep it that way, however, he made a mistake. Blame it on the fact his shift had gone on for far too long, or the fact he barely slept the previous night, but 99 could swear he hadn't seen the light indicating the isolation chamber as occupied. He was quietly mopping the floor when he heard it. A splash from the enclosure's pool. Since he'd hear the sound, 99 had been standing there, frozen, waiting. There's another splash, and the sound of something hitting the tiles. 99 should have left as soon as the mistake dawned on him. He should leave, before something happens. But 99 knows the enclosure is sunk into the ground and surrounded by an electric fence. They would have built it higher if the selkies could jump that high. He's already in here, so he might as well take a quick look at the creature housed in the enclosure. It's late, so the overhead lights are dimmed. In his mind, 99 paints a picture of what he might see once he looked over the fence as he approaches it. He envisions the creature hunched and snarling, eyes glinting in the dark. 99 has a hard time imagining the details, only that it's very animalistic. 99 holds his breath as he gets to the fence, not spotting anything in the enclosure yet. He finds it strange, there's not many places you can hide among the white tiles of the enclosure and 99 did just hear it move. It's near silent as 99 closes the last of the distance between himself and the safety measures keeping the creature in. "Hello," a voice says, breaking the still feeling that descended upon the room. 99's taken aback, dropping the mop he'd carried with him.

It clatters to the ground and rolls, falling through the small gap between the floor and the fence, making a second loud noise as it hits the floor of the enclosure. The voice that spoke is unmistakable a child's. 99 peers down into the lowered enclosure, finally spotting the selkie. He's so much smaller than 99 imagined, pressing his tiny body against the tiled wall to peer up to the edge of the enclosure.

His eyes are wide, dark pupils focused on 99 and his ears taper into points. In one clawed hand, he's holding the mop 99 dropped, struggling a little with it's size. His skin bears patterns, darkening around his hands and feet. The selkie is young, face and body rounded by baby fat. 99 stares down at him, frozen in place. He'd never even considered that Hemlock might have a child locked up here. "Hello," the selkie says again, exposing his sharp teeth as he speaks. "You dropped something." He lifts the mop higher, panting in exertion as he lifts his arms high above his body. 99 takes it from him, mind feeling miles away from the present. "Thank you," 99 says, and the kid smiles. "Am I still in trouble?" the selkie asks, picking at the tight shirt he's wearing, likely fabric made for extended contact with salt water, with his claws.

It dawns on 99 that this selkie, this child, has been put in isolation. 99 can't think of a single reason anyone would do that to a child.

When the selkie looks up at him again, 99 makes another disturbing discovery. The dark mark on his left cheek 99 had originally assumed to be the same dark patches as on the selkies limbs looks worryingly like a bruise.

99 realizes just how horribly out of his depths he is with this.

“I, uh... trouble?” is the clever response 99 comes up with. The small boy nods.

“For crying,” the selkie answers, sounding deeply ashamed of himself. He can't be more than six years old and here he is, reacting like crying is a punishable offence.

But then again, if he was put in isolation for doing just that, 99 guesses that in this small selkie's mind, crying is a punishable offence.

“Crying?” 99 exclaims, deeply horrified by this whole situation.

The boy flinches, drawing his clawed hands to his chest. “It- It was only for a moment! I swear! And I'm really, really sorry,” the selkie rambles, wringing his hands frantically. He barely seems to draw a breath as the words spill from his mouth.

Then, he goes very quiet, 99 can barely hear what he says. “But if you think I need to be hit more, that's okay. I can be quiet!”

99 almost chokes he inhales so sharply. “No! No, no, I'm not going to hurt you! You're a child,” 99 rambles right back. “Do- Do the guards hurt you?”

He's always wondered why the guards carry tasers and batons, but had never though more of it. Internally, 99 kicks himself for not doing so. How could he be so stupid?

The child nods. “The doctors too. Hemlock's the only nice one.”

99 scoffs. So that's what Royce had meant with “conditioning”.

“You're not dressed like a guards,” the boy says, looking up at 99 with big eyes.

“That's because I'm a janitor,” he answers, only to suddenly worry that the young selkie may not know that word. “I clean things.”

“Like what?”

“I clean the lab, your enclosures too,” 99 clarifies, leaning on his mop. He's not the only member of cleaning staff, but over the years, he's become the one in charge.

“Really?” the selkie asks, eyes widening as 99 nods. “Thank you.”

99 laughs. “Don't worry about it, it's my job.” After thinking for a moment, 99 continues. “Everyone calls me 99. What are you called?”

“You have a number name?” the boy gasps, raising a clawed hand to his face. “I'm 03!” The selkie tilts his head so 99 can see a bright piece of plastic on his ear, a tag. It has “03” written on it. Just another way this kid has been treated like an animal. 99 frowns.

“How long have you been here?” he asks.

“Since I was tiny!” 03 attempts to indicate the size he was, making 99 think he must have been a baby. At the start of Hemlock's active work with selkies five years ago, there had been a lot of noise, a lot of which sounded like crying. 99 really should have investigated sooner.

“What do they do to you?”

03 shrugs. “Hemlock teaches us things and we have to do tests.”

“We?” 99 asks. Hemlock had acquired multiple specimen, 99 had almost forgot that.

“There are three other selkies and they're my friends,” 03 beams. “You should say hello to them too!”

99's about to ask 03 another question when a firm hand on his shoulder startles him. “You've been told to stay clear of the specimen for your own safety,” a voice says, pulling 99 away from the enclosure. It's one of the guards, fixing him with a stern look.

“I'm keeping well away from the wires, nothing's going to happen,” 99 argues, but the guard's having none of it, pushing 99 in front of himself.

Even whilst trying to look back at the boy in the enclosure, 99 recognizes that the guard is bringing him to Hemlock's office. That's fine by 99, he'd wanted to talk to him anyway.

99 is shoved into Hemlock's office and the door is swung shut behind him. Hemlock's seated at his desk, typing at his computer. He doesn't even look up, so 99 wanders a little, looking at the dark bookshelves lined with a variety of books.

Some are still the same one's Hemlock's mother had displayed, others have been replaced by less scientific books, myths and stories about selkies. One catches 99's eye, bearing Hemlock's name on the side.

99 pulls it from the shelf. It's evidently a book on selkie anatomy, new facts about how their bodies work that have gone overlooked in the past.

Flipping through it, 99's eyes land on a picture of Hemlock, wearing thick gloves and holding the small boy he'd just met aloft. There's a serious look on Hemlock's face, but 03 seems to be yawning, showing of the sharp teeth in his mouth.

“Could you stop touching things?” Hemlock says, standing behind his desk now. Begrudgingly, 99 places the book back on the shelf.

“Why are you hurting a child, Royce?” 99 asks.

Hemlock sighs. “They're not children, they're animals, monsters. There's a reason you're not supposed to go near them.”

“I talked to one of them and they're far from as bad as you say they are. He acts just like any small boy would. This isn't right,” 99 says.

Hemlock walks around the desk, leaning against the front of it. “You've barely talked to one for more than a few minutes and now you're the expert?”

“I don't need more than that to know that this kind of treatment of them is unfair!” 99 tries to not let his emotions, his anger get to him.

“You're a smart man 99, but now you're just acting stupid. Selkies are a real threat to humans, always have been. How can you be this ignorant?”

“Even if they're animals like you said they are, how can you let your employees hurt them? How can you permit such cruelty?”

Hemlock groans. “It's operant conditioning 99, we've done it on plenty of animals over the years. Rats, pigeons, dogs. It's effective, so I'll use it.”

“It's inhumane,” 99 counters, staring Royce down.

“Well then it's lucky that they're not human.”

“You had 03 beat and isolated for crying. How is that justifiable?”

“I'm not discussing this with you any further, 99. I don't employ you to question all my actions.” Hemlock turns his back to 99, arms clasped against it.

“This can't be legal,” 99 mutters more to himself than to the room. It still makes Hemlock turn back to him.

“It is. Selkies aren't even classified as animals by law and the demand for more knowledge on these creatures, how we can defend ourselves against them, is high. Do you think I fund this research out of my own pocket?”

99 just shakes his head. That can't be true. He'd never thought much about selkies before today, why would he have? He'd never even seen one. But surely if they're this clearly sentient and intelligent, then people must know so, right?

“Take the day off, 99. The stress is clearly getting to you and you need a break.” Hemlock says. 99 just shakes his head again. “I insist.”

Before 99 can argue, Hemlock's already trying to get him out of the door of his office.

“You'll feel better after a break. And when you're back and you still want to risk losing fingers to our specimen, then you can go ahead and stick your hands into their enclosures and see what happens. But you'll be taking responsibility for that.”

Hemlock orders a guard to escort 99 out of the lab, not giving him a moment of peace until 99's out of the building.

The long drive home is gruelling with his mind so full of worried thoughts related to the labs occupants. 99 hadn't expected his life to change so drastically that day. By the sound of it, all of Hemlock's specimen are young.

All horribly mistreated just like 03 if 99's not guessing wrong. 99 never though Hemlock would resort to such cruelty, but he really had changed a lot in the years 99 didn't see him.

Hemlock has to be lying about this being legal. Selkies are sentient, that small conversation 99 had with 03 proves that. They're not feral, blood thirsty beasts either, that's clear to see. So there's absolutely no way treating them with such cruelty is allowed.

A few hours later, after arriving home, eating something small and spending an extensive amount of time trying to look up anything he could about selkies, 99 sits there with his head in his hands.

All he'd found confirmed what Hemlock said. Selkies have no rights, less than animals and barely anyone has anything kind to say about them.

There were a few people advocating for them, but they were usually hounded by those that don't share their opinions or made out to be not right in their mind in some way.

Weary, 99 sighs. This is so much worse than expected. There's not a single thing he can do for those selkies in that lab. As long as the law permits it, they'll just continue being mistreated.

Closing the tabs he's opened during his research, 99 runs a hand across his short hair. There has to be some way he can help, even if it's not much.

The image of that small boy, terrified, face bruised, keeps entering 99's mind. That's there's people capable of such cruelty worries 99. And somehow, Hemlock's managed to employ a whole staff of such people.

99 needs to learn more about the selkies, needs to look out for them in the lab. Maybe one day an opportunity will arise for him to free them, get them back to their own people, far away from Hemlock's lab.

Until then, 99 will have to try and make their lives as comfortable as possible.

Opening a new tab, 99 starts looking for that book Hemlock published as well as a good place to start learning first aid.

[discyours]

If you were to be honest about how you see this, would you say women who partner with men just need to accept a reality of: no matter how great, hot, interesting, loving you are and you might be solely focused on him and you wish he was doing the same but the simple fact that he’s a man means he will think, fantasize about, notice other women and even wish to “get” others constantly? after a lot of observing and listening this seems to be the picture that is painted. hearing men speak, hearing women speak, seeing what they do. could it be tied to the whole premise of female sexuality focusing on really wanting your man to be focused on you and loyal to you (you are the one who bears the child, you are the one who has more business getting him to settle with you) meanwhile male one being about simply casting a wide net and getting all they can get (since there are lesser repercussions and their libido is higher) which leads me to… novelty. It seems to be the meeting point of it all, i heard so many men say show me the most beautiful, hot woman in the world and i will show you a man who is sick of her. Many times i heard men just have this innate need for novelty. That’s why the fantasizing about other women even if they are in an otherwise happy loving relationship. Even if they love their partner they just can’t seem to control their lust. So i guess my question is, do you think this is just the bitter pill every woman who chooses to partner up with a man needs to swallow? No matter what her ideal love and partner looks like in her head, one that is capable of loving her and focusing both his heart and body on her as she does- which i think most women who are truly in love do- because on the other side of this i keep seeing the “i only have eyes for my man”. Or is it just a % of men who is the loudest and gives the impression of this being the case for all?

also, i know porn, social media to an extent as well made these issues blow up but it’s still people behind these, it’s still people and i guess their “nature?” that we see being played out? women use it mostly to show themselves and men are there to look, for example

I think it's important to remember that the imperative for women to be monogamous is largely social, not biological. You can twist this appeal to nature any way you want, eg "since aged sperm increases risk of birth defects and birth defects can endanger a woman's life it is a biological imperative for women with older husbands to cheat with younger men in hopes that they will have healthier pregnancies". The very fabric of our society (patriarchy, a man knowing who his sons are so that he may pass his posessions and titles down to them) is built on female monogamy. A man seeing other women and potentially fathering "bastards" does not endanger this societal structure (it creates sons who don't stand to inherit anything but hey, who doesn't love an impoverished underclass to perform labor for the rich), but a woman fathering sons who may not actually "belong" to her husband creates a huge problem. We cannot attribute sons to their fathers if we can't be sure who their fathers are. Entire wars can be fought over questionable parentage. Historically most men never had shit worth passing down and never possessed any titles, but that doesn't mean all layers of society weren't influenced by this. And in modern times we have paternity tests and most men *still* don't have titles or jack shit worth passing down, but again there's still this belief that women can destroy their entire family by cheating and becoming pregnant by a child not fathered by their husband. As a result society still puts a lot more value on women proclaiming their dedicated monogamy, regardless of whether or not they mean it. Women also value monogamous partners, but society isn't exactly built on what's appealing to women so men proudly proclaiming that they "only have eyes for their wife" just isn't as common, even if that really is how they feel. I do think infidelity is slightly more common among men (from a quick google for a few studies), but it's not as significant as you might think and it's definitely not universal. Maybe "noticing" other people they find attractive is more common, but as a bisexual woman I'm inclined to say this isn't because men have a higher libido but because men are uglier. Straight women just don't come across a whole lot of attractive options. I'm in a long term monogamous relationship and I really don't notice attractive men, but I do notice attractive women. I can't really imagine not noticing them and that seems like a weird expectation to put on people tbh.

Coming from a perspective of having a not-normal sexuality and having poly people in my social circle, I've met plenty of men who, even in completely "judgement free" zones where it's if anything somewhat uncool to be monogamous, simply aren't interested in having multiple partners. Having multiple partners takes a lot of time/energy/work, sleeping with strangers is unappealing to lots of people particularly when they pass college age, and sleeping with friends causes complications and is also just unappealing to people who desire a romantic connection before sleeping with someone (which is definitely still a thing for some men, again even in judgement free zones). I don't think the desire for nonmongogamy is universal. The bitter pill for het-partnered women isn't that a man who is faithful, isn't abusive and doesn't watch porn literally doesn't exist, but that all of these traits existing in the same person is relatively rare and that you cannot know for sure that they're there just by getting to know someone well enough. It's that you aren't smarter, more responsible, or a better judge of character than every single woman who's ever been cheated on or abused.

[fatedreamsend]

The journal of Anise Greenleaf, Entries #36, #37 and #38

[Note from Anise's player: I started this as a writing experiment waaay back near the start of the campaign as a way to try to explore Anise's character a little and give her some backstory from before the started. I hand wrote it in an actual journal because I thought it would be fun. These are scans of the journal.]

Back to Entries #33, #34 and #35

Transcription below the cut:

3/12/2004

Well. I finally got some kind of revenge against Buck for all the blind dates and the constant needling me about Freddie and Joe.

This morning a very nice Genasi girl visited the shop asking if we sold a potion that could help her focus better. Well, Buck was manning the shop at the time while I was out hunting down some very hard to find herbs for a new project. I returned to the shop to find him flirting with her nonstop while she was clearly not interested. When I interrupted intervened to try to help her, she expressed surprise that such a cute girl owns the shop. And listen, I can be dense but even I'm not that dense. Also I thought it would be really funny. So I flirted back. Buck was devastated when I got her to agree to go get dinner and drinks. Good, serves him right.

Her name is Zephyr, by the way.

And it's strange, I just never considered dating a woman. The thought literally never crossed my mind until I was kind of vindictively asking her out just to annoy Buck. But she is very nice and clever and very cute, especially out of her human disguise. I sometimes forget how easy it is for me to pass as human. I barely even need to hide my ears. Zephyr wears a charmed necklace that changes her skin to a "human" skintone. It's a shame that she has to.

So far it's only been the one date, but I had a good time and I think she did too! She's busy with projects for art school, she's studying to be a painter actually. Hopefully once she isn't too busy we can go out again. I'd at least like to be friends.

4/2/2004

Zephyr is really amazing. She is so talented and so smart and so easy to talk to. And she is so good at painting! She's brought her easel and canvas and paints over here a few times. She's painted me and the garden and even a still-life of the workshop and they all look incredible. How can one person be so talented? Sure I can sketch plants or make maps but it's nothing compared to Zephyr. I really like her. I never pictured myself with a woman, but I really do like Zephyr. I'm having a lot of fun with her. And she's staying in London after graduation, so there's no risk in her just leaving me. I think this could work. Mother certainly won't be pleased that I won't be giving her grandchildren. We could always adopt? Far, far in the future. I don't even know if I want kids. It's what is expected of me, to continue the Greenleaf name. I've got too much work to do now to think about that.

5/10/2004

I must be cursed.

5/11/2004

I tried to explain it to her, why I always get so sad at the start of summer even though it's my favorite season. I told her about Freddie. She asked why I still talk about him so fondly even though he hurt me so much. I guess I really am cursed or stupid or insane. I guess I still l have feelings for stupid Freddie even now, even when I'm dating such an extraordinary woman. At least I think we're still dating. She asked me if I had considered a future with her, like marriages she clarified. I told her it was too soon to be asking that and I guess she didn't like that answer. What did I do? Was I not supposed to tell her about Freddie? I don't understand.

5/12/2004

Yeah we broke up.

Why can't I find any other pen, it seems inappropriate to be writing about this in bright pink

(It was Buck's fault)

On to Entries #39 and #40

[briansgermanlitblog]

I.R. Blog #20

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

Pages Read: 221 - 270

Word Count: 361

Summary: In this section of the novel "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak, Death spoils how Rudy is going to die within 2 years but no specifications like how, where, or when. Liesel and Max continue to bond and she cuts Max’s hair while reading a book to him, also tries to paint a picture of the outside world’s weather to Max using scraps of paper available. On behalf of the war itself, Germany invades Russia causing the towns and cities to be on edge and life to be harder. Unfortunately due to this event the mayor’s wife tells Liesel that they can no longer sell washers due to insufficient funds. 

Critical Analysis: I believe the most interesting quote out of the 5 from this week is, "They looked on as both the hidden Jew and the girl slept, hand to shoulder". Looking at this quote critically you’re able to tell that after weeks of Liesel and Max rarely being able to see each other they still persist in making a tight bond with each other as if siblings. It’s ironic because in Mr. Hubermann's case his son died and similar to Liesel who lost her brother, both had been replaced by Max. Allowing Zusak to create a perfect bond with Max and the audience so they could feel more sympathetic.

Personal Response: Discussing about Max and his recent stay in Mr. Hubermann’s home I believe it brought more benefits than drawbacks. You’re clearly able to tell the amazing bond Max is making at home, being seen more as a family member than a pest or liability. However in my point of view I would always see Max as a liability because of the risk he holds while trying to house him during these times. Of course I would continue to treat him as a guest and take care of him but my thoughts remain the same. With the story going as is I sense that a huge turning point will happen very soon, something nobody would expect. I get a feeling that Max might be hiding something from the Hubermann’s, everything so far is going too good to be true.

[more-than-a-princess]

"Kick them out," Sonia repeated, thoughtfully though with a small smirk on her lips as they made their way off the spaceship ride. "From what I have heard of you, I do not doubt the literal meaning of that. You are far more skilled than most street gang members where combat is concerned. How did you learn to fight?"

At least he was also far more advanced in another area than his motorcycle-riding gang peers. Toman hadn't been the first she'd encountered nor would it be the last, but Manjiro Sano was singular in that he seemed to treat women with respect overall, as long as they hadn't offended him. Rarer still, he seemed to be shy around women in various states of undress: unlike most boys who managed to sneak into a hostess bar, he hadn't stared or drooled or attempted to flirt with the women getting ready for work. Instead, if Sonia remembered accurately, he'd kept his head down and said little to any of them.

She chuckled at the thought: he either was not interested in women sexually or romantically, or he was anxious. It did rather paint a different picture of 'The Invincible Mikey.' One that seemed more human and approachable. "I am not sure if I can speak for all women, but I think they do. Having a choice is essential, but it is rare, I have found, for street gangs composed of boys to treat girls as something other than, at best, a girlfriend. And at worst, well, it is appropriate for children's ears. For girls who are ill-equipped to defend themselves against such advances, it can be a harrowing experience."

She couldn't share personal experience on the matter, but she'd come to the aid of enough women to know how prevalent it was: girls who were used and abused by teenage street gangs, soaplands, massage parlors, and in some cases, the yakuza themselves. Her mother had always instructed her not to interfere if there was any risk to the Borghese Family for doing so, but it was one of the few family rules Sonia couldn't abide by. She did it in secret, with resources she gathered and moved quietly, but it helped her negotiate with her conscience. It helped balance out the horrific reality of organized crime.

"I do not mind nicknames," Sonia replied, her mouth forming a small pout as they left the futuristic Tomorrowland behind. "But must it be 'Princess?' It feels rather patronizing. There is nothing resembling a fairy tale where my life is concerned." She paused to look warily up at the castle, one of two in the theme park. This one devoted to a pretty girl who fell in love with a monster: Sonia could see the value in that. The princes seemed overrated anyway.

"If it is all right by you, I have come to realize I much prefer a motorcycle to a carriage," She confessed, giving him a smile before leading the way forward, towards the foreboding haunted house. Or at least where she'd approximated it on the map: she had a decent sense of direction, and so they ended up in the queue in no time. There was no point in Mikey trying to resist: Sonia had her heart set on the Haunted Mansion.

"They are lame?" Sonia asked, truly shocked in-between giggles. "I think they are fun! It could be more frightening, yes, but I think the humor adds to the atmosphere of the theme park. And I have never visited a haunted house before! Or not a theme park one, in any case: I have inhabited a few that have true ghostly residents. But I imagine a ride is much different!"

For one thing, there were no clowns on the walls, something that the centuries-old manors in Novoselic tended not to possess. "I shall volunteer my services to protect you from the clowns, beginning immediately," Sonia chided him, grinning, as they were shuffled into a circular room with curious paintings and an array of gargoyles holding flickering candles. "Is this the ride, then?" She asked, just as the room fell dark, a deep voice announcing their welcome into the Haunted Mansion, and the portraits began to stretch.

"Huh never thought about it that way, but guess you're right." Being at the top, he constantly had to remind himself that he shouldn't underestimate those weaker than him. Until recently, the moniker "invincible" tended to make him feel indestructible and arrogant. Then Takemitchy had come along, and he'd reminded him that even though someone may be physically inept, there were other kinds of strengths. Whether it be intelligence, such as Kisaki's keen wit, or the raw charisma that drove people to follow Takemitchy, he'd learned to be wary of all to some degree.

"Well yeah... Of course I know not all women are the same." Mikey pouted. "Not like I would force anyone to join. And my men are smart enough not to go against me. If they disobey me I'll.. Kick them out." He just managed to leave out the part about beating the shit out of them first, since he didn't want to scare the happy families in line. "Don't women want equality and the freedom to chose to take that risk anyway?"

Despite coming a long way, he still had his moments of arrogance. Thinking he could perfectly prevent any wrong from happening in his gang was one of those occasions, and another was believing he could protect Sonia, if only she would agree to join. "Fine fine." He shrugged, as he got into the car next to her. "But either way we're friends now." He would let it go for now, not wanting to push her too hard. If she wanted to stay in her gilded cage, well that was her decision.

Mikey helped her out of the car once the ride had ended, a grin spreading across his features. "Nah. All my close friends get nicknames, so get used to it." He gazed a bit longingly at the games as they passed by. He'd always loved them, but they could come back later.

He'd never seen someone so excited for a haunted house. "Hah, doubt anyone died in there, or the park would probably get sued. But that would be something I guess." He wasn't disgusted at all her by her casual flippancy on such a macabre topic. Death never bothered him much, not since he'd first laid eyes on his brother's dead body. Hopefully his logical viewpoint didn't douse her excitement too much though.

He side eyed the heiress, as she read over his shoulders, suddenly bothered by how much shorter he was. Grumbling softly in frustration, he followed after her. Of course, he wouldn't go through the princess area without making a quip, especially since he was feeling especially sore about their height difference. He spotted a ride featuring Belle, and he ran over to it, bowing to her. "Your carriage awaits princess," he teased. Despite his joking, she was determined to get to her destination, and before he knew it, they had arrived at the back of the line for the haunted house.

"A pet cemetery... 'What type of dog does Dracula have? ... A blood hound.' Wow talk about some lame Dad jokes." He looked around frowning. The decorations were unfamiliar, and he slowly realized he'd never done this ride before. In fact, he couldn't remember ever going into a haunted house. "Have you been in a haunted house before? Guess I've never done this one." Or any one. The queue moved into the building, where there were various clowns in cages on the wall.

The Toman Leader blanched. "Clowns? Shit I fucking hate clowns." He turned away from the wall, but then he ended up turning back towards them. He'd rather stare at them then risk them sneaking up on him. Deep down he knew he was being silly, and that these were just decorations no different then the stars on display in the Space Mountain line, but they were still creepy as hell.