#PURE CLOWNERY

[bam-stroker]

Stuck in the middle with you

@betweenblackberrybranches, ok you got me with the rlgl au. Here is my silly drabble for it!

I guess I'd say this is a suggestive/PG-13 level because Sun is smooching/getting smooches. But otherwise not much spice and all clownery. Just like have yakety sax or something playing in the distance

Well this was a problem. 

You should have been paying better attention to the time. Maybe if you hadn’t stayed up all night falling down a wiki rabbit hole you would have been a little more mentally present. Sharp and ready to duck and dive your way out. But no. 

You had gone into Sun’s room thinking you had enough time to grab the bucket and mop you forgot in there by accident. After cleaning up Moon’s mess earlier your mind was too busy celebrating the success you happily marched off to lunch. And left the stupid mop and bucket behind. Nothing says high class like getting wined and dined in front of a beat up old mop and bucket.

You run your hand over your eyes and hold in the groan of frustration that desperately wanted to rise up. 

So here you are, hiding behind a curtain a good distance away from the door.

You had managed to hear the door handle turn just in time to hide away with the cleaning tools when Sun and his customer stepped in. Laughter and murmuring following along their path to the couch deeper in the room. 

You’re 10 minutes deep into this hiding and have two choices. 1) Turn into a skeleton behind this curtain, squatting in hiding until the session was done or 2) try and make a quick dash while the customer was…. More occupied. You squeeze your eyes shut and try for a third option of using your brain power alone to magically travel through space and time out of this place. You open your eyes again. Still behind the curtain. Today would not be the day you unlock your hidden magic powers. A shame.

Sun’s voice carries over from the couch and you can tell he must have shifted to be the one facing the door and curtains. 

Well. 

You hold your breath and peek one eye out as slow as possible to get a view. Your hunch had been correct, Sun would now be the only one to really see you. The customer’s back fully to you and the door. It is also in that moment where said customer leans in to kiss along Sun’s jaw line and he fully locks eyes with you. 

It feels like the kind of moment meant to have with a laugh track in the background. You’d laugh if the moment wasn’t terrifying for both of your job securities. 

You give a panicked bug eyed look to him and then to the door and back to him. His mouth falls open as if to say something to you, eyebrows furrowed, but quickly tries to play it off as if he’s swooning from the kisses. Clearly the acting works because the customer just slips to kissing his neck. Sun raises a hand to cradle their head to him… and prevent them from looking up without pushing past his hold. He takes his other hand to give an accusatory point your way. The gesture falling into a ‘What are you doing?! You shouldn’t be here’ kind of intention. 

You throw your hands up and shake your head furiously an, ‘Obviously I shouldn’t be here!’  right back at him. You also do a motion to try and convey that you were getting a mop. That one must not have landed because he just blinks at you in confusion. Before he can answer the customer shifts to lift their head back up and he gives all the smizing he can their way. If he could make a twinkle visual effect appear around him it would fit perfectly. “O darling, how kind. Could you maybe kiss me a little… lower?” he flutters his eyes and tries to give a bashful look to entice them. 

It works and kisses are moving to trail down his chest. He gives out sounds of encouragement, keeping a close eye on where they’re looking. Then he looks at you and gives a look back and forth from the curtain trying to say, ‘Go back to hiding there!’ You shake your head throwing your hands in an x, ‘Hell no! I want out.’ You then hold your arms in front of you doing a fake makeout with the air and point from Sun to the customer. Clearly articulating, ‘Distract them.’

And before he can object you crouch down to start sneaking your way out. 

It wasn’t really that far. Just a couple paces and you would be free. 

Sun keeps his eyes wide and open on you as you inch forward. 

“Is something wrong?” 

You freeze and Sun snaps his eyes to the customer. They only just now looked up at him, “You’re so quiet now.” He lets out a strangled laugh raising his hands to hold their face, what would seem intimate but in reality was just a way to keep them focused in on only him, “O, I just was a little lost in all the thoughts you inspire~” He leans forward a whisper away from a kiss, “Maybe I could show you some of them?”

As he swoops in for a kiss you take two large steps. The door handle so close now. 

But now you realize you’ll have to try and turn the handle as quietly as possible. You can feel sweat start to pool on your forehead under your hat. 

As your hand reaches up you watch the customer wiggle in Sun’s hold. Clearly a bit ticklish. That must not have been expected because before they open their eyes to a sweaty janitor posing like a taxidermied animal in fear, Sun throws a hand up to cover their eyes. 

His golden digits and palm the only thing keeping you out of sight. “Oho! Ticklish I see? Well, why don’t we make this a little game.” The customer giggles clearly taken by the flirt. Sun stares daggers at you and gives a single gesture with his free hand, ‘OUT. NOW.’ 

And as you turn the handle he lets out a flurry of flirty giggles pinning the customer to the couch. Their own laughter is loud enough to hide the click of the door shutting behind you. 

You stand facing the hall… A deep inhale and exhale. Adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

And then you realize you left the mop and bucket behind the curtain. 

“...Shit…”

[maro0on]

i literally keep seeing so many joe locke antis in the mcu fandom and its literally for the stupidest of reasons

"oh hes not even jewish" "he's UgLY"

first of all i need these people's face cards i wanna see something--

second of all, these people are probably the same people who dont give a SHITE when a straight actor plays a gay character, lets be real...

LASTLY, these are probably the same fucking people to follow and stan a conventionally attractive influencer (eg. lilhuddy, nessa barrett) and then get SHOCKED when theyre not even a good person....

more rants in the tags

[choices-binglebonkus]

*breathes deeply* ahhh, another lovely day of not being scammed out of money—uh, err, I mean…not having VIP Choices.

[phaltu]

DILF

RATED E | BINGQIU | CH 1/5

Luo Binghe feels like a dream of his has come true; he gets to go on a business trip with his old mentor, who's now his freshly minted boyfriend. Being away from home means being away from distractions and responsibilities, leaving them to dedicate their free time entirely to each other without any interruptions.

That's what Luo Binghe anticipates anyways, until they run into the person that he least expects and least wants to run into.

READ HERE

[saltpepperbeard]

Me and the girls (gn) jamming to the corporate pre-stream music 🤗😍💕❤️💃🏼🤡

[idontgotopartiesanymore]

oh nooo 🫢 i don’t want to join max 😫!! please fia 🥺 don’t make us do community service together 😳🫣👀

"i was like 'fuck' and then luckily- sorry- OH NO! OH NOOOOO! i don't want to join max"

[frogbi]

The fact that i haven't listened to 1d in years but it's still in my top 5 is 🤡

[lavender-phoenix-flames]

The posts about jc wanting to raise sizhui as his own doesn't only frustrates me but it is also hilarious cuz this man can't even raise jin ling without being physically and verbally abusive, he seethes at the very mention of a wen and you think he will raise wen yuan as his own cuz he like a son to wei wuxian so by your logic he is sizhui's 'uncle' now.

What a cruel joke are playing on a child whose whole family got slaughtered by the very seige lead by jiang cheng and the levels of suffering his Xian gege had to go through cuz of jc. Sizhui is polite but that doesn't mean he would tolerate someone like jc.

[lenaskzorel]

leslye headland needs to stfu and actually never speak about sol ever again my gosh im actually really glad about his fate cuz holy fuck she would butcher him so bad if she had him survive

[ttpd-tsxi]

okay okay let me be annoying again.

so I went back and when she announced on 7th episode of Midnight Maybem with me, she announced Anti-Hero and wrote this - 10/3.

AGAIN in the last scene in Anti-Hero Taylor is sitting on the rooftop. So what if. Taylor has climbed through the final room on the rooftop and THEN tears the house down

because in Lavendar Haze she's tearing it only from 1 room

Lavendar Haze music video is out and I'm ready to 🤡

remember in Lover mv when blondie swam in a fish bowl.

and now in lavendar haze at the end she destroys the house (at the same time the final scene in the lover is of the house and midnight stary sky) and fishes are swimming around. I counted them. 7

do you know how long the video is? 3:31 . Count. 7. Lover. does it symbolize

is it like when in Lover video they were swimming in a fish bowl because she felt too protective of her love and now tearing the house down and simultaneously fish swimming in the universe is like she has torn down all these fears and secrecy of her love??? she just knows that the universe *made them for each other* ??

am I reading too much into this?

or does it mean that Taylor has now made a new space for new albums (besides re-records and subtly denying the rumors that she'll stop creating after re-recording?

[dick-bandit]

i am a whitney enjoyer but he is by far the most clown shoes character in the entire game. like in my experience he stops being a real threat after maybe the first month of the game and after that he is just getting curbstomped left and right. and he'll still be out here like remember who owns you like lol ok whatever helps you sleep at night my guy. he's so silly. i want to push him into a well.

[bitchofdarkness]

Eunjang students:[simply existing and trying to get good enough grades; not be crushed by bullies]

The Union:"How dare you!"

[messfcbi]

remember when we thought for sure our new manager would be xabi alonso 🤣🤣🤣

[samijey]

random but sami and jey just look so good together?? i can't fully explain it, but for me even just visually speaking these characters have the right amount of similarities and contrasts to fit so well together - especially lately with the whole blue/red palette they've had going on with their merch... and the blue/red contrast of their hair?? idk it's just so aesthetically pleasing to me 😌😌 add onto that the chemistry and the months of meaningful backstory together?? jail

[the-happy-fujoshi]

Trust issues when you're a Directioner >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[aninkwellofnectar]

as a chronic cynical misanthrope i'm starting to get why romance novels are so popular.