#PLUS YOU LITERALLY RAN AWAY AND LEFT HER FOR MONTHS

[m00ngbin]

Bella is actually y/n personified. Wasted two hours of my life for this

[luvhughes43]

the boy is mine | quinn hughes

[luvhughes43 masterlist🌙]

summary: yn meets quinn hughes and is instantly captivated by him, leading to him inspiring and starring in her new single "the boy is mine"

word count: 2.8k

yourusername

📍brighter days studios

liked by _quinnhughes, jackhughes, arianagrande, and 1 207 109 others

yourusername soooooon ;)

view all comments

user01 our soon??

liked by yourusername

user02 love you !!! cannot wait to see what youre working on

user03 you guys... quinn hughes liked this...

user04 NEW MUSIC?? OHH IM UP.

user05 i'm seated. the record store employees are scared and asking me to leave because "it's not even out yet" but im simply too seated.

6 MONTHS EARLIER

how can it be? you and me

might be meant to be, can't unseen it

but i don't wanna cause no scene

im usually so unproblematic

so independent, tell me why

'cause the boy is mine, mine

it was supposed to be for album promotion. sitting in the stands at rogers arena - right behind the home bench so the camera had easy access to see your dazzling face as the game unfolded in front of you. "he's kind of cute," your best friend courtney leans in towards you, pointing out one of the players only a few feet away from you behind the glass.

HUGHES. 43.

you study his side profile for a second - not giving him any real attention. you were here strictly on business and if people started suspecting you were eyeing somebody who was rumoured to be in a relationship (you checked) you knew that your publicist would call you in distress.

"i think hes taken," you whisper back, nervously eyeing the people sitting around you.

courtney nudges you with a small chuckle, "you checked?"

you playfully nudge her back, before settling back into your seat. to tell the truth, you were on a strict "no dating" rule ever since your ex boyfriend ran his mouth to page six detailing how you "cheated" on him with someone in a relationship. it wasn't a true story of course, but everyone flocked to the headlines anyway as an excuse to call you horrid names and say i just never liked her anyway!

hughes turns around then, and you feel your breath hitch as the speakers call out your name and your flushed face is plastered across the jumbotron. "you so like him," courtney laughs and you can't help but join her.

"portia's gonna kill me,"

"oh come on! a new relationship is a publicists dream... plus, i think he likes you. he literally cannot stop staring," you look to where courtney points and you see the defensemen skating towards centre ice - his eyes flicking towards you before he grounds himself in the game.

butterflies immediately fill up your chest and you know your screwed. the boy is mine.

something about him is made for somebody like me

baby, come over, come over

and God knows i'm trying, but theres no use in denying

you don’t know how she did it, but as soon as the final buzzer rang courtney was pulling you up and out of your seat and dragging you through the various corridors of the arena. “where are we going?” you ask, letting courtney pull you along.

“i’ve got connections babes,” she replies before coming to a halt in-front of a door. she knocks twice and a nice man wearing a suit opens the door slightly.

“you all good?” he turns his head and yells into the room.

“court…” your confusion is clear but before you can ask any questions the man swings the door open and your face to face with the canucks roster. “courtney!” you hiss lowly and she squeezes your hand tightly.

“you’re welcome…” she teases as she drops your hand and steps into the room.

as if your eyes were magnets, you lock eyes with quinn. his cheeks tinge with pink, and you quickly avert your gaze.

the man from before introduces you to the room - even though it’s not really necessary. your “scandals” have been plastered all over the news since your brief hiatus from music left everyone bored and in need of gossip.

"hughes - i mean uh quinn. i'm quinn," the man from the ice stutters as he reaches a hand out towards you. you slip your hand into his and with an awkward pause you two drop your hands.

"im y/n," you reply with a small smile and courtney silently slips away to greet the other players.

the boy is mine

i can't wait to try him

let's get intertwined

the stars they aligned

the boy is mine

watch me take my time

i cant believe my mind

the boy is divine

everything happened surprisingly fast. one minute you were sharing your number with quinn - against all rational judgement - and the next the two of you were taking any gaps in your schedules to spend time together. coffee dates turned into lunches, which turned into dinners, and then there were nights wrapped in each others sheets. it was all so crazy and fast - and it turned out that quinn wasn't seeing anybody after all.

please know this aint what i planned for

probably wouldnt bet a dime or my life on

there's gotta be a reason why

my girls, they always come through in a sticky situation

say, "it's fine"

happens all the time

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, courtney, sukiwaterhouse, and 786 712 others

yourusername 🌞

view all comments

courtney miss youu

user06 cuties !!!!

user07 quinns liking her posts again...

user08 he saw her at his game months ago and instantly folded... i respect that in a man

_quinnhughes

liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, _eliaspettersson, and 31 409 others

_quinnhughes Summa😎🌊

view all comments

trevorzegras what the dog doin

user09 now who's damn dog...

user10 TOULOUSE???

user11 ? who tf is toulouse

user12 it's yns dog!! istg she and quinn are dating

when you don't think the rumours are true but... your attention is stuck on your phone screen as your leaked song plays in the background of a tiktok. a pretty blonde girl lip syncs your song with annoyance and you watch the video a total of three times before clicking on the caption. "guess she fantasized about my bf too much and now hes hers lol... she's sick."

"do you know this girl?" you ask quinn and he lazily looks up from the pasta he's cooking. you mute the video as chills go up your spin. there is absolutely no way that quinn was seeing someone when the two of you first got together all those months ago.

"no why, is she your friend?" quinn replies easily.

you stare back at the video and all of the interactions it has. over two-hundred-thousand likes and all the comments are bashing you for something you didn't even do. you were so beyond tired of this situation and people using your name for attention. "no, i don't know her either," you respond distantly. you forward the video to your managers and hope they can rectify the situation.

"it's nothing," you dismiss your earlier question when you realize that quinn is still lingering on you. he reluctantly nods before turning his attention back to his pan. "thanks for coming here by the way - i know your schedules insane," quinn speaks up, mentioning the break in your studio time to come visit his lake house in michigan.

"thank you for inviting me," you set your phone down - completely committing to ignore the online drama and to focus on what's in front of you.

something about him was made for somebody like me

baby, come over, come over

and God knows i'm trying, but theres no use in denying

you had never spent so much time in one place. you were only supposed to be in vancouver for a few studio sessions with a producer native to the city - but ever since meeting quinn you became enamoured with the city. but it wasn't just vancouver either - you were also splitting your time between michigan as well. which, before meeting quinn was just a single stop on an 100-show tour.

but strangely despite everything, vancouver feels like home as you begin navigating your new album cycle and the words of 'wisdom' from your publicist portia who - you swore was only discouraging you from your relationship so she wouldnt have to stave off angry people on social media.

"i was thinking... gossip girl marathon and we order-in?" quinn suggests as soon as you step foot into his apartment. your mind settles as youre welcomed into your boyfriends space.

"have you ever watched gossip girl?" you ask, tossing your bag onto the couch before sliding up next to quinns spot in the kitchen. he had various online menus pulled up on his laptop, ready to order whatever you desired.

quinn hums, "i watched it with my mom when i was younger. i'm team blair,"

"team blair?" you gasp, "ohh you were made for me," you laugh lightly as you point towards one of the menus on his screen. "i'm so down to watch gossip girl,"

"do you wanna go set up the tv while i order the food?" he asks and you kiss him on the cheek before making your way into his living room.

the boy is mine

i can't wait to try him

let's get intertwined

the stars they aligned

the boy is mine

watch me take my time

i cant believe my mind

the boy is divine

"i think we should riff off 'fantasize'," you speak to your music producer - max - finally wanting to take back the energy from your leaked song. you were tired, and with quinn away on pre-season hockey duties you were bored. "something more sophisticated," you explain as you click through various samples and instrumentals. you finally land on one half-finished record and the lyrics immediately come to you.

"the boy is mine..." you hum along to the empty track as you pull out your notes app. "i can't wait to try him-" you continue, rapidly noting lyrics in your app.

by the end of your studio session the basic structure of the song was completed and you knew you had a hit on your hands.

and i know it's simply meant to be

and i, take full accountability for all these years

promise you i'm not usually

like this, shit, its like news to me

but i can't ignore my heart, boy

"the boy is mine, i can't wait to try him..." you sing quietly to yourself as you search pinterest for music video inspiration. "let's get intertwined... the stars they aligned..." quinns smirk immediately presses against your soft shoulder. he trails light kisses across your shoulder blade and up to your neck, silently begging you to continue singing your newest song.

"the boy is mineee..." his soft lips are ticklish against your skin but you can't help but lean into his grasp.

"i love when you sing," he mumbles and you tilt your head to rest against his. halle berry's cat woman buzzes in the background but neither of you are paying the movie any attention.

you hum, "oh yeah?"

he kisses your shoulder again and you fix your gaze back onto your laptop screen before lightly closing it and setting it to the side. "i still don't know what i'm going to do about the music video,"

quinn lays back in bed and allows his gaze to fixate on the tv. "what about catwoman? i'd bet you'd look good in a cat suit" he teases. you knew he wasn't being entirely serious but halle berry easily captures your attention as she dazzles on screen in her catsuit.

"the boy is mine," you hum lightly, completely enticed with quinns idea for your music video.

i can't wait to try him

lets get intertwined

the stars, they aligned

the boy is mine

watch me take my time

i can't believe my mind

the boy is divine

boy is mine

the male lead for the boy is mine video is a no-show. multiple calls to his personal phone, calls and emails to his managers and agency, everything is left unanswered.

quinn🤍🌙: i'm out front. i got your favourite drink

you sigh with relief as you quickly excuse yourself from the upset mass of production staff and your cinematographer.

"hey, what's wrong?" your boyfriend of almost a year asks with concern etched across his features. you blink slowly and all your frustrations manifests into tears.

"the shoot is going so bad," you breathe heavily, "and we're so behind schedule,"

quinn wipes away your fallen tears with his thumb. "why what's happening?"

"the male lead hasn't shown up yet and he and agency aren't answering our calls," you lean against quinn and he easily wraps a hand around your waist. "i've filmed most of my solo shots but i know the crew is getting upset and i don't know what to do. we're trying to find a replacement but-"

"i'll do it," quinn says quietly and measuredly.

"what?" you blink and pull away from him slightly. quinn passes you your drink and you allow the coolness of the cup to soothe some of your nerves.

"i'll be in the video" he repeats. "if you want- i mean i don't want to overstep or-"

you lightly tap quinns hand with your own. "i'd love if you were in the video," you say softly, nerves completely dissipating with his comfort and the solution to your problem. "thank you," you kiss his cheek.

less than an hour later quinn was fitted in his costume and was debriefed on the scenes he would be filming.

─── ➤ 📹

you left quinn to film his presidential speech sequence so that you could get ready to film the catsuit portion of the video. your dress was tight and your brown wig made you take on your pop-girl persona that you'd been sheltering ever since the infidelity allegations ruined your reputation.

"oh you look so good," quinn wanders up to you as soon as you step onto the apartment set. he eyes your latex dress before smoothing a hand down your side gently. "i was right about the outfit," he jokes easily and you lean against his side while the crew finishes marking the next scene.

"you don't look too bad yourself," you blush under the weight of his gaze. you trail one of your hands up the front of his chest before realizing where the two of you were. not like it would be a crime to ogle your boyfriend on your music video set... but still.

"how was filming your speech?" you ask, pulling away from him slowly.

"only forgot my lines once!" quinn jokes with a laugh, to which you immediately join in on.

"that's my boy!"

"okay, y/n - quinn, we're ready for you two now," your lovely director calls out across the set.

PRESENT DAY

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, bradytkachuk, arianagrande, and 6.7M others

yourusername "the boy is mine" is out now!!🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ starring my boy _quinnhughes, featuring brandy & monicadenise !!!!🥹🥹🫶 and directed by the amazing christhedirector

view all comments

christhedirector the best is yet to come!🎬

_quinnhughes had the best time with you!❤️

arianagrande obsessed

jackhughes can't believe you let him on set

canucks the collab we didnt know we needed!🐈‍⬛💙

user13 QUINN???? HUGHES????

user14 the most insane hard launch wtf?

user15 the boy may be yours but i need him to be MINE!

user16 waittt this is the guy from the hockey game all those months ago??? wow

user17 mv was so good i started hallucinating

user18 loveeee you!!! this song and mv is literally so good!

_quinnhughes

liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, _eliaspettersson, and 361 043 others

_quinnhughes "the boy is mine" by the amazing yourusername is out everywhere now!❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

lhughes_06 can't believe this exists

_eliaspettersson 📸📸

trevorzegras damnnnn you really weren't lying

_quinnhughes ?

bboeser looking good💯

user19 WHAT

user20 me next pls

user21 so the rumours were true this whole time👀

user22 so did she cheat or not like...

user23 plss he wasnt even following that tiktok girl it was definitely a lie for views lmao.

user24 soooo their relationship is confirmed ?

user25 hughes girlies lost

user26 OHHH I WON I LOVE U BOTH SM!!

user27 this mv has me feeling things hold on...

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, madisonbeer, jackhughes, and 5.7M others

yourusername last photo dump i promiseeee !!! this project has been an absolute dream and i'm so happy that it's finally yours after all these months! i can't wait for u guys to see what else we've been working on.. ;)

view all comments

_quinnhughes the most talented♥️

user28 TRUE LOVE?? oh this quinn stuff is serious huh...

user29 i get it

user30 loveee you the most

THE END <3

-

-

-

[hiiraya]

loml

pairing: natasha romanoff  x reader 

words: ~3.3k

warnings: angst, happy ending (?), literally just self-indulgent writing, messy writing, listen to loml by taylor swift to get in the sad mood

a/n: merry christmas everyone! the last thing I posted was january of 2022 and it's literally about to be 2025 - I've been in a reminiscing mood lately and this was something I've had in the drafts for months, I figured I should just release it to get it out of my system. your girl has been missing someone bad bro and the urge to tag them in this is insane ♡ anyways, hope they see this lmao

“Have a safe flight and text me when you land, yeah?”

“I will, I will. Get home safe and update me as well, okay?”

You release your cousin from your hold, giving their shoulder a quick squeeze as they pull away. You do a last minute check with them to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything important - something you were always prone to do when travelling by yourself. The memory of you almost missing your international flight because you had rushed home and back to the airport within record speed, all because you had forgotten your passport of all things. 

“I’ll fly out to see you next time, so you can show me around.” You smile.

“Are you guys serious? I told you to leave early so that this exact thing wouldn’t happen!”

Your eyebrows immediately furrow at the familiar voice, catching one last glance of your cousin as they enter the security screening area, waving to them while you mouth one last ‘text me when you land!’ as they leave your sight, before turning around to find the source of the voice.

No way it’s her, you thought. What’s she doing here?

As you get closer to the arrivals board, your questions are answered. Standing there in all her glory, is the one woman you never thought you’d lay your eyes on again.

“Natasha?”

You see the puzzled look on her face as she registers your voice before she even lays her eyes on you. Watching as the confusion turns to irritation - whether it was towards you or whoever was on the other side of the phone, you couldn’t tell (most likely both) - you watch as a deep sigh she releases as she glances at the board in front of her once again.

“-that’s another 10 hours before you guys even land.” She sighs, exasperation lacing her voice.

“Hey, listen if you need help-”

She holds a finger up to silence you, eyes meeting yours in a piercing glance. “I don’t need help, and especially not from you Y/N L/N.”

At her words, you look down, the sight of your shoes a welcome one as you take a second to recover. Honestly, you thought to yourself, I deserved that. 

“Yes, it’s Y/N- no I did not! I swear I didn’t know that they were here.” You hear her mutter from beside you. Deciding to save the both of you from further embarrassment, you turn your attention elsewhere, wondering what your cousin would say once you eventually tell them about who you ran into immediately after they left.

You lift your head back up when you hear Natasha mumble "you guys pick the day before Christmas of all days to be late for your flight” followed by a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone, watching her scope the airport for her next step. 

You could just leave and pretend this ever happened.

“Come on, Nat, I promise I just want to help.” You find yourself saying instead. “I can take you to your hotel when they get here.”

Well, there's no going back from that now.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

You really needed to stop opening your mouth.

“Okay, you know what, I deserve that.” You pause. “Listen, I’m not going to force you to come with me, but the offer is still there if you want it. You’ll get a free ride, plus you can use my apartment to rest and freshen up while you wait.”

 -x-

"I can't believe you talked me into this."

You spare a glance to Natasha, who was currently sitting in your passenger seat.

"You're the one that followed me to the car?"

She rolls her eyes at your confused tone, choosing to ignore what you said and instead checking her phone - most likely waiting for an update from whoever she was speaking to on the phone before. "I can't believe they missed their flight."

"Who's they?"

"Yelena, Maria, Wanda," she answers. "Oh, and Yelena's friend Kate too. I don't think you've met her."

You bit the inside of your cheek, because you already know that you didn't get to meet anyone named Kate while you were still together. You honestly didn't get to meet many of Natasha's friends whenever visited her - it was something you always fought over. It felt like she was ashamed of you, always wanting to keep you hidden, a secret she never planned on sharing with the world.

You refrain from asking any follow up questions - if Natasha wanted you to know more she would tell you.

Instead, you ask: "Did they manage to catch the next flight out?"

She nods. "I'm honestly surprised they did, considering how expensive it probably would've been. But knowing Maria, she probably would've pulled some strings to make it work."

Natasha finally looks up from her phone as you come to a stop, looking at the building you had just parked in front of.

"Where are we?"

"My apartment, I figured we could drop off your bags and you can freshen up before I show you around." You open the door for Natasha before moving to grab her bags from the trunk.

You lead her inside, setting her bags down in the living room before turning around to face Natasha - holding your arms out as you gesture to your living space. It's the first time she's ever stepped foot into this place, having only seen it through a phone screen since you were the one who would fly out to visit her when you were still together.

"I'll grab you some towels so you can freshen up, but make yourself at home." You say, gesturing for her to follow you down a hallway. "The bathroom is the first door to your left, there should be a spare toothbrush under the sink- wait did I give to my cousin? Well, we can grab you one while we're out but everything you need should be here."

You know you're rambling but you don't stop in fear of saying something stupid (which knowing you, is highly likely).

"If you want to take a nap, the guest room is just a little further down the hall on the right - I just changed the sheets so everything should be fresh."

It's not the way you wanted to be showing Natasha around your home for the first time, but you'll take what you can get. It'd be so easy to waltz back to the way things were, before everything fell apart but you didn't have the right to that anymore. You weren't a part of her life anymore.

You didn't know if she already had someone new in her life, maybe you were overstepping in so many ways and that it was best to just keep your distance. After all, you did promise that you just wanted to help. You were here to keep her company until the girls arrived and take her to the hotel when they finally did get here.

You know it's for the better to just move on, that after today she'll be gone and it'll be like she never made a reappearance in your life. But how could you when you know deep down that you still haven't fully moved on and that she'll always hold your heart in her hands?

Natasha's voice cuts off your reverie, bringing you back to the present as you hand her the towels.

"Give me an hour to shower and rest my feet for a bit, I wanna go out and explore while we wait."

 -x-

"Do you see that one over there? That's a hammerhead shark! They're one of the most powerful sharks in the ocean."

Natasha hears the little girl gasp, watching their eyes going wide with wonder. She can't help the small laugh that escapes when she sees the young girl lean closer towards the glass before loudly whispering, "is it going to eat us?"

You laugh softly, and Natasha can't help but think that she's missed hearing the sound of your laugh, something she thought she wouldn’t hear again. It comforts her slightly to know that it hasn't changed after all these years, and that  she can still easily recognise the sound as being yours only.

"It won't eat us! Sharks don't eat humans," she hears you explain. "They're more interested in fish and seals, than they are humans. But they are really strong swimmers, and they can smell things from miles away - even in water!"

She'd been watching you answer questions about sharks for the past 5 minutes, after a curious little girl ran up to while you were looking at the shark tank and asked if you knew what type of shark was swimming in front of the glass.

"Do sharks talk to each other?"

"They don't talk like we do, but they do communicate by using their bodies and how they move through the water. Some sharks even make sounds by rubbing their teeth together, kind of like a secret language that only they can hear."

It doesn't take long for the girl's mother to find the three of you, sighing in relief as she sees her daughter, looking up at you apologetically.

"Sorry, she's probably been asking you a million questions."

You give the woman a friendly smile and shake your head. "It was nothing, I loved answering all of her questions." You tell her. "It looks like you might have a future marine biologist on your hands."

"Let's leave the lovely ladies to enjoy the rest of their date, bubba."

"Oh- it's not-"

"We're not-"

The mother and daughter are already walking off before either of you could finish your sentences, leaving you and Natasha standing in front of the shark exhibit with red cheeks and thundering heartbeats. 

Natasha catches your eyes as you glance at her in a shy glance, and she knows it's too late. The warmth that passes through her as you smile, the same warm and knowing smile that you used to give her when everything was still okay was almost enough to bring her down to her knees.

You interrupt before her thoughts can spiral any further, clearing your throat before gesturing with your head the direction of the next exhibit.

"Shall we keep going?"

 -x-

Natasha sits across from you at a small café by the beach. You mention to her that it was your secret place, one that you go to when you wanted time to slow down and just have a moment to catch your breath. After the little incident at the aquarium, you guys decided it was best to just sit and people watch for the time being to avoid any more awkward interactions.

The warmth emanating from the cup of coffee did little to chase away the little chills that ran down her spine every time Natasha caught you gaze lingering on her for longer than you must've realised.

She told you about the plans that she and the girls had made for their vacation while you filled her in on your own life, telling her about your cousin that had just recently come to visit you just before Christmas.

"I'm glad you chose to come with me." You admit after a pause in conversation, voice soft. She turns to look at you, your eyes meeting hers with such an intensity it made her breath get caught in her throat. "I missed getting to talk to you like this."

She can tell that you spoke without thinking, the widening of your eyes giving you away. You look away, muttering a quiet "sorry" before lifting your drink to your lips in an attempt to hide the flush of your cheeks.

She was supposed to be over you. She'd told herself time and time again that she had moved on, but seeing you again, and being here with you, she couldn't deny that she was still in love with you. Having you so close yet so unreachable leaves an ache in her chest.

Throughout the time you two had been sat at the café, she watched you with fondness at the way your eyes lit up while you spoke with excitement in your voice about the things you and your cousin had gotten up to in the week they were with you; Natasha realises that she missed you too - and the comfort that you brought her just by simply being near.

"Nat? You okay?" The worry in your voice only deepens the ache in her heart.

"Yeah, no, sorry - I'm okay." She answers with a shaky nod, breathing deeply. She allows herself to feel her emotions, knowing that it would only do harm if she tried to deny herself this moment with you.

"I missed you too."

The sadness settles deep within her chest, the way you looked so shocked at her words - and she wonders if you were expecting her dismiss your words.

Her phone pings loudly from where it was placed on the table, the text tone sounding off four times in a row as her screen lights up between the two of you.

Natasha!! We've landed :D - Wanda

Sestra, we're on our way to the hotel now, tell lover girl to drop you off now - Yelena

Hi Nat, sorry again - we'll be there in 30 minutes! - Kate

I'll check us in if we make it to the hotel first, Nat, just let us know when you're there - Maria

You both watch as each text pops up on her phone, knowing that your time together was coming to an end.

Natasha watches as you ponder for a moment - wondering if you were going to add on to your words from before now that she's admitted that she missed you too. For a second it does seem like you're about to say something, but instead you just shake your head slightly to yourself, clearing your throat and as you look away, flagging down a waiter to pay for the meal you shared.

"We should probably get going if we want to get to the hotel at the same time as them."

She allows herself a moment to watch as you gather everything, absentmindedly listening to you talk about leaving now so we don't hit traffic - though I guess it's fair to make them wait, considering they made you wait like 10 hours, that's a practically a whole day wasted where you guys could've been sightseeing!

Natasha knows your putting on a brave front - she can see it in your eyes as you gather your wallet and keys, but she begrudgingly gets up after you pay for the bill, walking back with you to your car.

Already dreading the moment she has to say goodbye.

-x-

"Well, I guess this is where I leave you."

Pulling up at the front of the hotel, you catch a glance of Yelena, Kate and Wanda through the window. Even though you couldn't see her, you knew Maria wouldn't be too far away. Probably checking everyone in, you assumed as you parked your car near the entrance.

You do your best to avoid looking at Natasha, taking your time in getting out and grabbing her bags from the trunk, knowing this could very well be the last time you see her again. The thought alone breaks your heart all over again - you can recall all the times you've begged the universe to let your paths cross once more. Now that your wish has been granted and you're preparing to say goodbye to her once again, you deeply feel the loss of her from your life before it's even happened.

She's already watching you as you close the trunk. You hope that she can't see the tears that have been slowly building up since you started the drive to the hotel. You refuse to let yourself hope that the look in her eyes could mean anything order than gratitude.

"Thank you, Y/N, for today." She tells you softly.

"It's was nothing, Nat," you say with a smile, before softly adding, "you're welcome and I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas."

Getting lost in the silence that falls between you; you miss the way she's looking at you as you stare down at your shoes, waiting for her to grab her things and go so you can drive back to your apartment and sulk for the rest of the week. You wonder if she can see the way your hands are shaking as you wait for the inevitable goodbye.

"Y/N?"

You hum in response, not trusting your voice to stay steady if you decided to use actual words.

"I had a really good time today."

You tilt your head in curiosity. You've had a hard time all day trying to gauge if Natasha was having enjoying herself or not. There's no doubt in your mind that she would've said something if she wasn't.

"And it got me thinking," she continues. "I don't know- maybe I'm reading into everything wrong, and you can absolutely say no. You'll probably say no, because this is crazy, but I had to say something before I lose my mind-"

"Nat." You interrupt. As endearing as it was to hear her ramble on, to see her getting more and more flustered as she kept talking, you knew she'd work herself up before she every got to what she actually wanted to say.

"Breathe, love."

You nod encouragingly after she takes a deep breath, giving her time to gather her thoughts.

"Maybe it doesn't have to be so wrong, you know?" She starts. "To try again."

You try to hide the shock that you feel, but can't stop the way your eyes widen ever so slightly at her words. Never in a million years did you expect her to even say yes to spending the day with you, let alone suggest giving your relationship another go.

Does she mean just a friendship or an actual relationship?

Is she just saying that because of today?

What if she realises she doesn't actually mean that later on?

What if this was just a joke and she was just waiting for you to say yes so she can go "aha! I was just kidding as if I'd be serious."?

What if-

"We're different people now, don't you think?"

Confused but curious to know what else you had to say, she nods. "I'd say we are."

"We're older than we were before." You add. "We know a lot more about ourselves now, I'm not the scared kid I used to be."

You're scared of making the same mistakes you did all those years ago. But you also know that you're more than willing to learn from those mistakes; to stay and communicate to make things work instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. Because if there's anything you want more in the world, it's to make this work with her.

But just as much as you are scared, you can't help but be excited. Excited and honoured to learn more about this new Natasha, and fall in love with her all over again. You can't wait to find out what stayed the same, and what changed about her. Whatever she was willing to share with you, you'd gladly take.

"I could love you properly this time."

She gasps softly, and your heart pounds at the prospect of already scaring her away.

The thought of her friends seeing this happening through the window of the hotel briefly crosses your mind - you wonder if they'd approve of you making a return to Natasha's life or if they'll make you work for it after the way things ended between you two.

But she smiles, stepping into your personal space to wrap her arms around your neck and all thoughts leave your mind. The only thing you can focus on is Natasha pulling you closer so her words are only for your ears and your ears only to hear.

"I could love you properly this time too."

-----

@sadonism

[hibiscusseaart]

huge ass post with MadaTobi Babies

its finally done, its almost 1 am, I started at 7 pm

OK SO HERE THEY ARE

So a little lore and then I'm gonna introduce them.

As you may remember from my earlier post, Tobirama (they married when he was 19) after the marriage, decided to create a child to tie Madara to him and the village stronger just in case Madara would try to leave the village. He couldn't destroy the village if there's his kid running around, right?

So Tobirama started learning biology pretty early in their marriage + Itama (@oh-no-its-bird 's one) helped a lot too. Mito helped with the seals to make an incubator. Tobirama didn't want a surrogate mother just because he was afraid that Madara would get attached to the mother of his children and he didn’t want that (plus he's jealous but doesn't realise it 🤭).

He created some sort of very real transformation jutsu that would trick his body to think that he has ovaries and he'd get the eggs that way! But he couldn't keep uterus and ect for 9 months, plus this jutsu is HARD to keep on for very long periods of time. It's easier to make a few organs from chakra that could produce real eggs than a whole new system. Plus Tobirama really didn't want to get pregnant and he wasn't sure he wouldn't fuck up his own body. Tobirama, with as gray morale as his, could just scrap failed embryo and start anew. He can't do that with his own body.

Anyway, incubator it is!

At first he did all of that in secret, stealing Madara's sperm (that's... a thing now) for his first experiments while they had sex. (Tobirama fucking Madara real hard that he’d pass out after and then take samples) ANYWAY

So he announced about his plans when the first stable and pretty healthy embryo was ready.

The first baby, Motoko! The melanin quee. She got all of it. Nothing left for her brother or sister. Ofc she's not THAT dark skinned, but she is for an Uchiha who are mostly white as a paper in canon.

(Tobirama is 21 for reference)

Her name literally means "Experiment seed first". Tobirama named this project this way for secrecy if someone would overhear his talks with Itama and Mito. It’d be Uchiha clan head’s child so hush-hush.

The name meanings + kanji! Hope I got them right, I have no japanese knowledge

oh and there is flirting with past and time in general in this name so it might be Tobirama reminiscing his first timeline. Like Motoko didn't even EXIST before.

So when he presented the embryo to Madara and Hashirama, they were ecstatic of course.

Madara almost cried. Hashirama became a river of tears.

Madara never really hoped for his own children since he married Tobirama cuz, well, they're both men. Doesn't really work that way. But Tobirama made it work and Madara is in love all over again.

Madara refuses to leave their future baby for a long time, just looking at them in the incubator. But the baby doesn’t need much there so Tobirama makes him leave and live a life while they’re waiting when the kid is ready.

Oh and Madara was SO against the name that basically means “experiment seed 1”. But when Tobirama asked if he got smth better, he ran away to his compound and tried to find the PERFECT names. He got lost in so many variations and never really decided. So when the kid was “born” (Tobirama just… took her out of the incubator*) and medics checked her, Madara took her in his hands, started crying and while he was having “A moment” Tobirama wrote her name as Motoko, cuz they needed it for administration and Uchiha clan.

*come to think about it, wouldn’t it fuck up a kid a bit? i mean, children develop under pressure of their mother’s organs and they’re in tight position. maybe test tube kids don’t really like to be wrapped in cloth? as i know ppl do that with newborns to imitate feelings like they’re in the womb.

But this name also can be read as “Festival child” so its kinda cute? Madara def told her that that’s exactly what her name means. No seed 1.

Interesting thing, when Tobirama made the baby, he thought he’d make a boy first, a heir. But something went wrong and the kid developed to be a girl. Tobirama was confused why. But technically, the kid is a boy with XY chromosomes but bc of their development and being a genetic experiment something went wrong and they developed as a female (its a real thing btw).

In the long run it didn’t really matter except that Motoko can’t have her own kids bc of all hormonal weirdness. And I don’t think that Tobirama would figure all of that out. He’d think he made some mistake when choosing gender, but kid was born healthy after all. Ofc when they found out that Motoko can’t have kids Tobirama will blame himself, that he ruined his daughter’s life. But she’s would be ok, she had her little siblings growing up and other clan kids so she’s done babysitting.

Okay for her personality! I think she’s kinda like Shisui? Very happy kid, spoiled rotten by her uncles (Hashirama and Izuna compete who is THE BEST uncle) and Tou-san (Madara). Btw Tobirama refuses to be called Kaa-san or any motherly terms. He’s barely holding a kunai in his pockets when Madara calls him wife.

But she’s also very Uchiha with temper and protectiveness. She was trained to be very much Uchiha cuz she’s the future clan head so her jutsu’s are strongly fire natured. Oh and her secondary nature is eath! She took it from the Senju side :)

Good sensor, but not as strong as her other siblings. Have really good chakra reserves and vicious on the battlefield.

Surprisingly looks really like Madara and Izuna’s mom. Her face is all that. Has soft dark hair and soft features. Considered to be very beautiful among Uchihas.

Oh and as you can see, I wrote that she has the Mangekyo. She got it when she was around 14. She was already really strong and cuz of her family, she got cocky. So, you ask me, who died? I think it’d be her female teammate (maybe from Hatake clan? idk I take suggestions) who she was in love with.

So yeah, she got a reality check. Because she got Mangekyo, Tobirama didn’t want her baby to lose her sight, so he improved his own seals that helped him with his albinism. Seals improve his sight and protect from the sun. So he drew Motoko tattoos on her face, like his. Years later it’d be a new feature of the main line.

But before that, when Motoko is 12 and Tobirama is 29, after 8 years of research (and possibly sealing/killing Black Zetsu in the meantime) he decided to try to make another kid. He still wanted a boy.

And he was successful. Meet Akemori! The Music King

The name was suggested by Hashirama. It means “red forest”. Red eyes, plus he sensed that the kid has a bit of mokuton!

But on the downside, Akemori was born an albino. Tobirama himself was really lucky, cuz he had a strong health and I hc that he still has healing abilities, but not as strong as Hashirama’s. But it still helped him in his childhood.

Not for Akemori tho. He was a sickly child, almost blind and burned on the sun easily. Tobirama had to put seals on him when he was about 3 years old. But even then his eyesight was still poor. Seals can’t fix everything.

Tobirama, once again, feels guilty that he didn’t notice any mistakes when he was creating the child.

And being born almost blind in Uchiha clan of all people wasn’t really nice. Though he is still clan head’s child and has a whole bunch of very powerful adults to protect him. Plus his older sister who loves him very much and wants to protect him from any harm.

But because of health issues Akemori was never really trained in shinobi arts. Well, he was trained (his fathers are literally… them) just that he could protect himself, but no one expected him to go on missions or even become a shinobi at all. Uchiha elders treated him as a potential political marriage pawn (even though Madara and Tobirama would never let them do that). Akemori caught on that and never had the motivation to become a shinobi at all. He was offended and said that he’d NEVER become a shinobi.

Madara was a little mad at that, cuz they’re SHINOBI clan, what the hell. But he shut up the second Tobirama sent him The Look. Tobirama was ok with Akemori’s wishes, like his twin and himself are shinobi by necessity, but they finds more joy in research.

Akemori was trained in Mokuton by Hashirama of course, even though Senju elders bitched about him selling clan secrets to Uchiha. But Hokage does what he wants.

Akemori’s mokuton isn’t as strong as Hashirama’s, plus he never really wanted to fight. But he was good with plants so he joined Itama-oji in his research a lot! Especially since Hashirama is busy with Hokage stuff, Itama was delighted to get a new helper.

Akemori is also a really good sensor because, like Tobirama, he had to compensate his bad eyesight. Basically, Akemori is a very Tobirama’s kid.

Surprisingly, he awakened the Sharingan! He was 6 and some foreign ninja (prob Kumo) thought it’d be cool to steal a kid with the Sharingan. Because of his naturally red eyes Akemori got stolen. Ofc when Tobirama felt his kid out of Konoha bonds, he sounded the alarm in the whole Uchiha clan to check on their kids whereabouts and was first to chase the kidnappers.

Kumo nin were killed by a very mad Tobirama and bc of the stress Akemori awakened the Sharingan. It wasn’t much of a use for him, since he’s not a shinobi. But at least Uchihas acknowledge him as a fellow Uchiha and not just Tobirama’s carbon copy.

(btw noone outside immediate family actually KNOWS where the kids coming from. They don't see any pregnant women in the main line house or anyone in the clan with the same time who gave birth these days. Tobirama himself or god forbid Madara aren't ever seen pregnant. Where the fuck kids are coming from? Do they just spawn in the house or what)

(they basically do spawn)

Sharingan helps Akemori to actually see! At least he could see something and could read. But stll, its not really strong, cuz not trained enough.

Basically Akemori is a perfect mix between Senju and Uchiha with Sharingan and Mokuton, but he was nerfed by albinism.

Being almost blind boy who can navigate only with his sensing, doesn’t gives him much hobbies. Ofc he helps Itama and he studies plants and medicine a lot with him, but he still needs a hobby. Books don’t work for him, any type of handicrafts too cuz he can’t just use Sharingan all the time, his head hurts and sometimes he doesn't want to remember a whole book perfectly. He’s also not very interested in training as a hobby.

So in his tweens while Itama and he were traveling (with Uchiha escort (prob Motoko) just in case) to the near town for some medicine and plants, he noticed (heard) a group of musicians and he fell in love.

Itama immediately bought him an instrument (maybe Biwa?).

And now the second son of Uchiha Madara became a musician! Isn’t it fun. Elders are furious.

Madara was baffled but “You do you, son. When you learn, show us? Oh and maybe you can copy someone else’s playing, but be discreet. They may not like that you’d try to copy their music. Shinobi don’t really like when we copy their jutsus too”

With age he learned to play several instruments (I take suggestions on which ones). Some people even thought that he’s trained to become geisha (he's not, he's just a pretty boy who plays music for fun).

When he grow old enough, Itama started to give him weed for inspiration and to relax. Akemori is prone to quiet anxiety attacks after he was kidnapped.

Okay, the final kid. She was born 4 years later after Akemori.

Nari! The pout queen

Madara finally got to name his kid. Her name means “Calm, harmonic village”. Yeah he decided to name his kid after a village. It's still better than Konohamaru

And she’s the final kid, because Tobirama finally got it and produced a “normal” healthy kid. Plus he's not sure how many kids (3) and students (another 4 and Kagami) he can actually handle.

She has very Uchiha coloring, but Tobirama’s facial features. She also inherited his stare.

She’s the baby of the family, but she grew up slightly strict and serious cuz she stayed a lot with Tobirama, cuz he decided he won’t spend another maternity leave out of the Tower. The first two times were a disaster when he came back.

Tobirama left on maternity leaves just cuz he needed to monitor his kids health, especially Akemori’s. Idk about Konoha maternity leaves, but they should be really short, since well shinobi are needed all year long and they can’t wait for mother-shinobi to spend a whole year on that. Though on the other side, mothers need time to recover or they won’t be able to perform good on their missions (plus they probably have a milk smell lol). Who knows, maybe Tobirama was the one who drafted a law about at least one year maternity leave. He got very popular among kunoichi (can you believe that I just remembered that this word exists)

Nari is really like Izuna, but got her temper under control. Maybe think of teen Kakashi but without dead fathers and angst. But also brat.

Her chakra is water nature and she has 0 affinity with fire. Still she did produce great fireball as their traditions dictated, even though it took her many trials and errors. After that she decided that she hates traditions like that. Got really rebellious in her teens, about 13 and even tried to challenge her sister (25) for the clan head position. She didn’t win ofc and was bitter about it.

Also because her sister and brother both have seals, she always dreamed of the same, cuz as a baby she thought that it’s something special for their family. But Tobirama doesn’t think she needs them cuz her sight is perfect and her skin is pale, but it doesn’t burn like Akemori’s.

It triggered interest for seals in general cuz “FINE if you won’t give me seals, I’ll just make them myself!”

Tobirama was completely okay with it. He always strives to encourage kids when they want to learn something new. So he sicked her at Mito. Though his aunt was quite happy to teach her niece sealing art.

also idk why i write evil near her. she's just a brat. though she has the potential to become Azula ish

And that’s it!

I will write more about them later cuz im tired. I have some other ideas I wanna expand. Like Tobirama introducing his pups to his Hatake aunt (did i tell you that i LOVE Hatakes?),

Oh and fun little sketches close ups for a treat

i love this Hashirama with the kids, ugh he's so father

if you have any questions you can send them to my ask box!

[two-sides-halved]

Continued | @erisdiamas

"Again, using the term, phobia would imply that I am afraid of her, which I'm not. I hate her not because she's a Lapis but because she is factually horrible, she's an abuser of people, and animals, she's a manipulative piece of garbage who everyone was tip toing around because we didn't wanna upset the precious scared little girl who is over 5000 fucking years old... but because we handled her with these delicate kid gloves she never really changed into a better person like other people in the Little Homeschool program did... hell she's even been shirking her fucking responsibilities as a teacher... by kinda just telling them to go with the flow and then she'd fly off to who knows where... lazy asshole."

Gem Steven squinted at her as if he heard her incorrectly, picking up Eris and placing her on the couch, to get a reasonable distance away from her so he wouldn't end up hurting her fingers when she played with his hands.

"EXCUSE YOU?? Why the fuck would you think I would enjoy watching anyone nearly loose their life in front of me? I've already failed an entire planet's worth of people once, I failed Dad." He is crossing his arms.

"And you of all people... think I'd get aroused by that fucked up shit?? Fucking hell, Eris, you must be huffing paint thinner to think that is in anyway what I would like at all." He huffed irritated, tears in his eyes, looking away from her, his fists clenched, stomping his way to the kitchen to get himself something to shove into his face before see says something he'd regret. "If the misnaming was ALL I had to deal with... I wouldn't have such a fucking problem with her... I'd just say, ah she's annoying if she doesn't remember your name but she's good people BUT SHE FUCKING ISN'T!! Any time that the tough got going, she went gone... she ran away... she didn't believe in this planet, yet had the nerve to call it home instead of LITERALLY ANY OTHER COLONY OUT THERE IN SPACE!... But no, she chose to abuse and fester here like an untreated infection... and we just dealt with her like she was a misbehaving toddler, who didn't know how the world worked cause we didn't wanna upset her... and now she thinks she can do whatever she fucking wants." Gem Steven replied shoveling some of last nights reheated left overs into his face, thankful for the subject change.

"It's Sadie Killer and the Suspects... and they broke up a few months ago." Gem Steven replied with a disgruntled huff, shoveling another spoon full of foo into his face, chewing thoroughly, before swallowing "Sadie went off and formed a new band with her new partner named Shep... Shep's a chill person... I'm happy for them." He said in a notably bittersweet tone, being the hopeless romantic with the emphasis on hopeless.

"Well that's because Peridot is genuinely nice to be around... and if you were born on Homeworld, Rose might not have known that human's sweat... plus Gems themselves don't really sweat either. Plus you're half human so you'd have a whole bunch of powers she wouldn't have access too." He replied, with a mumble through his half chewed food.

"She wouldn't have known about half of the shit you'd go through... hell if she were here she'd be so much better at this whole parent shit than I am..." He huffed taking a big drink directly out of the jug of milk that was nearly gone anyway. "Guilty... I wouldn't doubt it was yours anyway..." He huffed into his nearly empty food bowl. "Most of the plants I make just try to rip me to shreds." He replied, before he yelped as she was practically dragging him out. "Eris, slow down!"

[d0zuki]

Imagine Akito with a reader he hated at first (and he wouldn’t hide it) but now would do absolutely everything for them

Like before:

Akito:get away from me!

After:

akito:Do you need something?oh that new phone that requires me to sell Ena because I’m too poor? Of course I’ll get it for you!

“True Beauty” -"Fate has its own ways"

⋆˚࿔ Fancy bow from Kuro𝜗𝜚˚⋆ :: a bow to feel fancy

― ʚ summary ɞ ― Akito with reader he hated at first

― ʚ words ɞ ― 590

― ʚ warning ɞ ― designer found no danger in her creation

― ʚ author note ɞ ― I feel like I know who you are anon, but I won't say anything, anyway that was an amazing request I loved writing it

Oh how he hated you, how come you everywhere where he is?! He could be walking in the park and then he sees you, even when having practice he will see you, was he cursed or something he didn't do anything wrong for it to be that case, unless we count the fact that he told Ena her hair looks crispy, but that doesn't matter what matters is how come you everywhere, it's getting annoying seeing you literally every time, why does he have a see your cute ugly face?!

Akito was thinking about all that while walking in the park, but suddenly a dog appeared and Akito just stood there, hoping the dog won't go towards him and he was incorrect, the dog indeed ran towards him and they were running around till suddenly the dog was stopped, Akito looked who it was and saw you, standing on the dog leash while it's owner thanks you for catching the dog and walks away, and for a moment Akito blushed a little before becoming just as angry as anger from inside out

"couldn't you catch that damn dog earlier?!"

"I was waiting until it got tried"

"by sacrificing me?!"

"yeah, you are quite fast so a perfect sacrifice in my opinion"

"I fucking hate you, can't you just leave me alone"

"I know you hate me, you said it 30 times this month, and we didn't even pass the 20th day of it, plus I'm not following you! It's not my fault we see each other often"

"then how the hell do I see you everyday?!"

"maybe because I live in the area?"

"..."

"...You didn't think about that did you?"

"shush"

Well Akito indeed didn't think about that, damn he feels stupid, so he was hating you for no reason, I mean yeah seeing you everyday, but you lived in the area that's why he was seeing you everyday

"anyway I should get going, bye"

"bye..."

Shit why is he blushing, don't tell me he fell for you, just randomly?! No there's just no way that happened

୨⎯ "Time skip" ⎯୧

Akito from 3 weeks ago would be pissed now probably, Akito was walking around with you after the incident with the dog, you became good friends or more of, he became crazy in love buying anything you ask for, causing Ena to worry about Akito bank account, does he have anything left?! Well it's healthy to assume no because yesterday Akito literally asked her for 50 dollars

"why do you need it"

"[Y/N] phone broke and they need a new one, so I need 50 dollars to buy it"

"can't you use your money?"

"I am, I just need 50 dollars to buy it counting mine too"

"Jesus Akito you became a simp, but fine, just give me a minute"

And that kept going, eventually Akito got a part time job to buy you stuff, and even there was a point when he thought, selling Ena might help, I mean she's pretty so, but then again that's his sister, yeah that's out of the book, Ena would probably kill him

In less than a week from Akito taking Ena money, again she cussed him out saying he needs to stop bitching around and confess, but he won't do it willingly, so Ena hid all his money and forced him to confess!

And while you were walking back home, Akito asked you out, surprised you agreed, and Ena was surprised too. But hey it was fun watching her brother be a boy failure

[unhappycylinder]

Gonna Be Trouble (Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Fem!Reader) Pt. 8

wc: 3.3k

Warnings: Jake being an idiot, cursing, Gabby and Rooster being adorable,

Series Masterlist

“Gabby I just don’t know what to do,” you sobbed into the phone, “I know he said that stuff to push me away, I know it's not how he really feels, but what kind of person can say that to someone they love? He probably doesn’t even love me…”

“Y/n don’t say that,” Gabby’s comforting voice brought more tears to your eyes, “you know he loves you, we all do, but you gotta remember its Hangman we’re talking about. He doesn’t know how to love someone this much. He’s from Texas, he doesn’t know how to have feelings.”

You laughed, wiping away your tears that had pooled in the crease of your nose, “very fair.”

“I’m so sorry he did this…” Gabby stuttered, “I have no idea why. We talked to him just the same day he called you, like literally hours before, and he told Rooster that he believed in you guys…”

That only made you sob harder, “then which one is it?” You coughed, the emotions overloading you to the point you thought you might throw up.

“Sweetheart oh my god,” Gabby’s heart broke for you, and her blood ran cold thinking of Hangman and how he could hurt you like this, “I don’t think you should be alone right now”

“There’s nothing I can do about that Gabby. It’s a long weekend, I have no friends here who know anything about my personal life, I have no money to go anywhere, I’m stuck,” you ranted to her.

“Alright then I’m flying you down”

“What?” You squeaked, “Gabby you’re not doing that”

“Yeah I am,” she pulled out a computer and started typing, you just stared at her dumbfounded over the phone, “send me your TSA number honey, we’re getting you out of there”

“Gabby,” you ran your hands over your forehead, “a flight to San Diego would be like $400 this last minute, it's ridiculous. I’ll be fine, I’m not-”

“Y/n just hush. You’re my best friend, you need support, and I need to see you. Plus, my husband’s in the military, I get flight discounts, and I have access to his credit card and he’s gonna be away at sea so who’s gonna know”

“You’ve got this deployment thing down don’t you,” you laughed at her

“We’ve only been married a few months but I’ve been with this idiot for years, and not once has he questioned why thousands of dollars leave his bank account every time he goes away. Honestly I don’t think he’s smart enough to remember how much money he had before he left…” She rambled while she booked your flight, “Can you be at the airport at 6 tomorrow? Direct flight to San Diego at 8:30…Roo and I can pick you up?”

“Gabby, I mean this sincerely, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you smiled at her,

“Suffer…probably,” she giggled, making you laugh too.

“Thank you Gabby, you’re the best”

“I know I am,” she flipped her hair, “anyway I gotta go soak up some Rooster time before he leaves for forever…”

You giggled, “I don’t want to know details…I’ll see you tomorrow, love you!”

“Love you more, go get some sleep, and don’t forget about your flight please!”

You blew her a kiss before hanging up. Luckily, the emotions from Jake’s phone call had drained you for the day, and you fell asleep pretty easily after the talk with Gabby. After all, you had a flight to catch in the morning.

—

“You better give me a big hug right now,” Gabby said as she walked towards you, arms wide open, as you exited the airport and the warm California air hit your face. Your lip quivered at the sight of your best friend, your tired arm threatening to drop your duffel bag as you embraced her and let your tears flow.

“You’re okay sweetie, you’re here now,” Gabby comforted you as she ran her fingers through your hair

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” you sobbed out, “I’m so happy to be here”

“Awww, I know,” she pulled away and grabbed your face, the widest smile across hers.

“Ladies, this is cute and all,” Rooster yelled from the car, “but this is 5 minute parking and this pilot isn’t looking to get banned from the airport anytime soon…”

“Oh calm down pendejo,” Gabby grabbed your bag from you and threw it into the trunk of the car. 

Sliding into the back seat of the car, you caught Rooster’s apologetic gaze through the rear view mirror, the sorrow in his eyes nearly making you break down again.

“Still haven’t heard anything from Hangman?” He asked, the bronco slowly moving out of the line of cars waiting to pick up passengers.

“Ay!” Gabby exclaimed, slapping the back of his head.

“What?” Rooster threw a hand up in defense, hunching over the steering wheel to avoid his wife’s swing.

“Why the fuck would you ask that?” Gabby hissed before turning around to face you, “I’m sorry honey, Mexico did a number on his brain apparently,” she joked as she muttered curses in Spanish to herself. Gabby and Rooster had just returned from a short but sweet honeymoon in Mexico, of which you heard many….maybe too many…intimate tales.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, “um I haven’t heard from him.”

Gabby and Rooster shared a knowing glance.

“Not to keep making you guys play middleman but…have you heard anything?”

“Um…” they both said in unison while staring at each other.

“You can tell me, guys, I’m pretty sure I’d rather know than not.”

Rooster sighed before turning to his wife, who then turned back around to face you.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you this cause I didn’t want you to get anxious,”

Too late, you thought to yourself.

“Jake knows you’re here…”

“Oh?” You felt a punch in your gut, the feeling of anxiety creeping into your throat as Gabby watched you process, “does he-”

“It doesn’t matter what he wants,” Gabby placed her hand on your knee, “you’re here to relax, not appease him. We’ll answer any questions you have of course, but I want you to spend this weekend how you want to, no matter what, okay?”

You sighed, questions and concerns filling your mind, “Okay,” you shook your head. Relaxing was probably the last thing you could do right now.

—

“I think I need to see him,” you muttered as Gabby helped you put your toiletries away in the guest bathroom.

Gabby sighed, “okay, whatever you want, but do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t know, is it? Did he say anything about wanting to see me?” You reclined against the bathroom counter, arms folding across your chest.

“Of course he did, Y/n, he feels like shit for breaking up with you, I know he regrets it. Rooster said his flying’s been off the past couple days, says he’s been extra dangerous, whatever that means.”

“Shit,” you panicked at the thought of him burning in, “yeah I need to talk to him”

“I’ll call him then, let him know to come by?” Gabby asked, waiting for you to decide where you wanted to meet him.

“I think I’ll just walk to his place,” you said mindlessly.

“Babe that's like a mile from here, why would you do that?”

“Give myself time to think of what to say? Time to abort the mission?” You sighed, leaving the bathroom to begin your pilgrimage to Jake’s.

“Alright, well, let me know if you need us to pick you up. I love you!”

“Love you too, wish me luck,” you yelled from the stairwell before departing.

—

Hovering your fist over Jake’s door, reality finally hit and anxiety flooded your body as you contemplated what the hell you were doing at Jake’s door three days before he deployed. 

“Y/n what the fuck?” You whispered, fist returning to your side as you promptly marched down his driveway, praying he hadn’t noticed you there.

He had.

“Y/n?” A groggy voice muttered from behind you, the Texan drawl of the man you loved barely identifiable over your own whispers. Stopping dead in your tracks, the anxiety bubbled up once again and this time threatened tears from your eyes. With a deep breath you turned around to see him.

Jake stood shirtless in his doorway, grey sweatpants clinging to his hips, his hair spiked and disheveled. The home behind him was dark, no blinds open to let in the midday sun of San Diego, and likely no ventilation for the better part of the last couple days. His eyes blinked rapidly as he adjusted to the light, the hand not clasping the doorknob shielding his green orbs as he trailed up your figure.

“Hey,” you croaked, tears beginning to slowly track your cheekbones. You didn’t move at all, you stood static on his driveway, arms crossed in front of you in a shallow attempt to comfort yourself.

“Come in baby,” he said groggily, breaking your heart to hear him call you such a loving nickname in such a tender way. The tears grew more frequent as you shook your head and walked towards him, arms still crossed until you reached the doorway and stood mere inches from him. 

He was impossible to read, but the one emotion you could identify was sympathy. Even Hangman, the hard-to-crack fighter pilot with confirmed kills, couldn’t stand to watch the woman who owned his heart stand in front of him shaking with sadness that he caused. You reached up to wipe away your tears, closing your eyes briefly, and just then you felt his strong arms around you. Jake pulled you close, nuzzling his face into your neck and stroking your back with his strong hands.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n, I’m so sorry baby,” he whispered into your hair. You cried harder, eliciting a grunt and sigh from him as the consequences of his actions finally caught up with his emotions.

“The things I said to you were-” he lifted up his head and stared upwards, searching for words, you remained nestled into his chest as you cried, “they were appalling. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything after Rooster told me you were here, I should have tried to see you. I just didn’t know what you’d want…”

“Jake-” you cut him off, peeling yourself off his bare chest to gaze into his eyes which were now also brimming with tears, “we need to talk about this stuff”

He nodded. You needed answers, he needed reassurance, talking was the only thing you could do. He let go of you and welcomed you into the house. Just as you had expected, he hadn’t opened a single window in the whole home, the air stagnant and dark, and the smell of dirty dishes beginning to creep through the building. You walked over to his couch, sitting down on the warm fabric that had obviously been the host of his body for the past couple days. He sat next to you, knees barely grazing yours as you sat in silence for a brief moment.

“Jake, do you remember what you told me on the beach at the beginning of the summer?”

“That I loved you?”

The past tense stung.“No, the part about you burning in, about what Phoenix was saying about you being safer…”

“Oh,” he glanced downwards, “yeah I do”

“Jake, you told me that you were flying safe because you were scared of losing me, that you were scared you’d miss out on our life, on our memories. You told me you wanted to see where we end up, and that our love motivated you to be a better pilot,” you fiddled with his fingers as you spoke, “and Rooster told me you haven’t been flying safe lately,” your throat choking up the more you thought of him being careless, “and I just don’t get why,” you finally sobbed.

The sound of your voice breaking finally brought Jake’s attention to you, concern and pity filling his eyes as he watched you struggle to explain yourself.

“I don’t get why you push me away. I don’t get why you tell me one thing and then do another. I don’t get why you put yourself in danger for no reason, why you put your career and your life on the line….to what? To prove some point?” Tears pooled on your cheeks while your eyes searched the room for some semblance of comfort. “The things you said when you broke up with me hurt, they hurt me to my core, but the thought of you throwing your life away out of spite hurts even more.”

Jake was speechless, his green eyes glassy under scrunched eyebrows as he finally felt the pain you had been enduring because of him.

“The life I want is the life I share with you. And I went into this relationship knowing distance and deployment and all that shit would be a factor. You did too. I’m prepared to go through anything for you…because I want those memories, Jake. I want to hold you and kiss you and dream of you while you’re gone. I want to move into your stupidly undecorated house on base when I graduate and be here for you every night when you come home,” you gestured to his bare walls, eliciting a small chuckle and nod from the hard-to-crack military man who had tears dropping from his eyes.

“God Jake the love I feel for you is endless. I gave you my heart, I gave you myself, don’t give those things back to me.” You stopped talking, the emotions overwhelming you to the point where you removed your hand from his and tucked your knees up in front of you, bundling yourself into a ball while Jake processed everything you said.

“I think…” he began, his eyes searching every part of the room except where you were, “I think we should take some time to think about all this,” he slowed down as he said the last few words.

Your tears dried up, shock overtaking the sadness. You didn’t expect this, you didn’t expect him to mean the things he said, to mean that he didn’t want to be with you.

“So you meant it?” You questioned, eyes finally meeting his.

“What?” He asked quietly

“You meant the things you said. The things about us? About me?”

“No, Y/n. I’m sorry for the things I said to you. They were hurtful and wrong and downright disrespectful. You’re a sweetheart and I’m sorry. I just mean I don’t think it's smart for us to jump into things right now, not with my deployment and your school.”

“What are you saying,” you cut him off.

“I think maybe we should just wait to date or something, til I’m back…”

“Jake,” your voice cracked, “I can’t do that,” you sobbed.

“You don’t think it's a good idea?” He asked earnestly.

“I’m gonna be waiting for you either way. I’d rather be waiting as your girlfriend than just some girl who's heartbroken and doesn’t even know if the man she loves loves her back.”

“You’re not some girl, Y/n, you’re my girl,” he rubbed your arm.

Shrugging him off as the confusion overwhelmed you, “no I’m not Jake. You broke up with me, you told me we should wait. Those don’t exactly go hand in hand with being ‘your girl,” you stood up to leave, he stared at you bewildered, “I’m leaving. You need to make up your mind, I’m tired of being confused about how you feel about me.”

You walked through the dark house to his door, opening it and letting the harsh California light hit the living room where he still sat on the couch, eyes never leaving your frame. 

“Good luck on your deployment, Jake,” and with that you took one last look at him and left the house, closing the door behind him. As you walked away, you held out for the possibility that he would open the door and come running out with an apology. But he didn’t. You walked the whole way back to Gabby’s without a word…without an ounce of clarity…just confusion like you had never felt before.

—

The remainder of the weekend went by without a word from Jake. Occasional glances from Rooster after he got a text or got off the phone let you know that, per usual, you were the only person out of the loop when it came to your relationship issues. Nevertheless, going through this breakup without Gabby would have been impossible, and her support meant the world to you.

Monday came around and it was time for the pilots to leave. The debate of whether or not to go had lived in the back of your mind for the better part of the weekend, eating away at you when you tried to close your eyes. Ultimately, after lots and lots of thinking, you had decided not to go for multiple reasons. For one, it gave Gabby and Rooster time alone during a special moment…and it also gave you the upper hand over Hangman. Despite what he told you, you knew Jake, and you knew he’d expect you to be there to wave him off. 

“You sure you don’t want to come, honey?” Rooster asked you as he walked by the couch where you reclined in their living room, dressed in his flight suit.

“Yeah I’m sure,” you sighed, sitting up to face him. “I know he’s gonna expect me to be there. And I want to be there for him…but I can’t let myself keep getting hurt. I can’t let him know that he can keep hurting me and I’ll come crawling back…”

“You know, as much as I love Jake, and as long as I’ve known him,” Rooster began, “I think you’re doing the right thing. You’re showing him you’re prioritizing yourself, which is important. He’s an asshole, he needs to be put in his place.”

“He is an asshole isn’t he,” you and Rooster laughed together.

“Alright honey,” Rooster ruffled your hair, the nickname he always called you by making you smile, “I’m outta here. I’ll keep my lips sealed to Jake for a bit, but you know how to reach me if you want me to tell him anything, okay?”

He grabbed his bags, “or if you just want to chat, I’d like that too.”

“Bradley!” Gabby’s piercing voice ran out from upstairs, “we’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry the fuck up!”

“Down here, baby!” He yelled back.

Gabby came running downstairs, “You’re ready before me?” She asked out of breath.

“Yeah?” Rooster said sassily, “why are you so shocked by that?”

You giggled at the couple, making Gabby sneer at you.

“Don’t you dare laugh with him,” she pointed at you, making you and Rooster laugh harder. She sighed before walking down and embracing her husband.

“You can’t wear this flight suit in the home, Brashdaw, otherwise you’ll be late to everything…” she flirted before kissing him, his hands gripping her hips.

“I love you, Gabby,” he kissed her again.

“Y'all are gonna make me throw up, go get on a boat or something Roo,” you pretended to gag as you got up from the couch.

“Bye Y/n,” Rooster said, letting go of Gabby briefly to give you a hug and kiss on the forehead, “don’t be a stranger”

“Back at ya.” you gave him a smile, “don’t like die or anything….Gabby would kill you”

Your friend laughed, giving you a brief nudge before opening the front door for Rooster. She shot you a quick wink before closing the door behind her, the sound of the bronco starting not long after. 

And with that, you sat back down on the couch, left with your own thoughts and the slightest feeling of regret and worry beginning…what if you never got to say goodbye?

--

Taglist: @dempy @shanimallina87 @luckyladycreator2 @mightiestheroes @taytaylala12 @djs8891 @clancycucumber230

[macverse]

What you hope you can change

---

Chris wants you back but doesn't know if he deserves you. He sees how much he's ruined everything. He wants you to be happy, but it hurts to let you go.

---

A/N: Well, I've accidentally started a mini-series. This was all supposed to be a one-shot, lol. The series started because @shipheart commented, “I wonder what the reader will do next” and then this happened.  I had a wild thought that this Chris/Reader couple could be the couple in Mi Amante and what happens in this series is what led them to start couples therapy. Some of the details are off but I like the idea that this is the back story. This series and Mi Amante are not related, it's just my headcanon within a headcanon, haha. I wrote once on something I was writing “I feel like I'm writing something much bigger than this is". I'm getting that same feeling again with these. It might be. Who knows. Special shout out to Vicky of Chris Evans fan page UK 🇬🇧 @chrisevansfanuk twitter. Since Mr. Evans had taken some time off when I started writing this, I need a secondary resource for content and research. These pages were a big help. Several 11 pm til much, much later writing well past the point of exhaustion sessions were supported by Vicky's pages. There was a very special sleepy moment where I was just blindly scrolling through your tweets cause I knew, I KNEW you had the info I needed but it was from months ago. I found it. Thank you so much.

---

“Chris?” 

I didn't mean to be here. I did come here on purpose but I didn't think it would be that easy to find her. I'd thought maybe if I saw Y/N from far away, I could make up my mind. If she seems happy, if she seems like she’s in a good place, I could turn around and walk away. I could try to move on and let her go if she was okay.

That's not how it happened. We literally almost ran right into each other. One second I was deciding to give up, thinking it was providence that I hadn't seen her and the next I was colliding with Y/N.

“What are you doing here?”, Y/N asks after we’ve both recovered. “I’m honestly not following you. I heard from a friend that they'd seen you around here,” shit that sounds like I'm stalking her. She needs to know that I didn't mean for this to happen like this. I know I don't deserve a second of her time but if I can just get a moment then maybe things can be better. I hold my hands up, my palms forward as I continue, “I just wanna talk.” Uh, stress is cruel, fame's a lie

But you're special, on every level

Success is cool, money is fine

But you're special, another level The shock of Y/N leaving LA was like getting thrown into the deep end of a pool in the middle of winter. I realized too late that I was being an idiot. I was the reason she’d been there in the first place and I ignored her. I didn’t do it on purpose. My schedule kept filling up and my free time kept disappearing. I missed her but work was work. It couldn’t be ignored.

My assistant Josh had mentioned that he was getting a feeling that Y/N wasn't having a good time or didn't have much to do. He was the one who made sure I’d get a plus one so she could accompany me to my events. He'd even put together a list of exhibits and classes that I knew that Y/N would love, places we could go, and things we could do on dates but I kept putting it off because I was busy. 

I kept thinking later, later but she left before I could get to later.

Listen

I see the men, they wanna touch ya

That's when I tell 'em, uh huh

I guess I am a jealous lover

'Cause I ain't sharin' with another lover

Stress is cruel, fame's a lie

But you're special, on every level

Success is cool, and money is fine

But you're special, another level

I was a mess after she left. I didn't have the time to be a mess but the minute there wasn't a camera in my face I would break down, the facade I kept up would crumble away and all I could feel was heartache. I muddled my way through the rest of the projects I had in LA. I can't even remember if I did work that I was happy with or not. The ache Y/N left in my chest was irrepressible. I could barely breathe sometimes. 

The hole Y/N left in my life was tangible. You don't realize how entwined someone is into the fabric of every minute of your life until it hits you in the face. 

I didn't realize how the simple touch of her hand stopped my mind from racing. I didn't realize how seeing her and my dog safely at home brought me peace.

I didn't realize how the smell of her perfume on the sheets made me feel like I was home every night.

I didn't realize how much her smile warmed me from the inside and made my heart sing in my chest.

I just didn't realize how much I loved her in my life...

Want more? Read the rest on my AO3.

[fatvampcat]

Alice and Bella go Shopping <3

Most of the time dating Alice Cullen was a dream come true, her life felt more fantasy than reality since the tiny vampire’s arrival, but sometimes the terrifying reality of the situation Bella had gotten herself into would make itself salient. Vampirism wasn’t the problem. Bella already planned to join the Cullen family after her graduation in 3 months, she was only waiting for Charlies sake. Nor was she bothered that Alice was a thousand times more bubbly and extraverted than Bella would ever be, this was a plus since Bella was never left trying to fill awkward gaps in conversation. Bella never would have imagined that the real horror of dating a vampire would be that vampire’s obsession with shopping and irreverent spending.

Alice was obsessed with clothes while Bella had literally worn an old green work shirt to her first day at Forks High last year. Following future trends and keeping the Cullen family one step ahead of the latest styles coming out of New York and Paris was a key point of Alice’s artistic expression. While Bella always admired Alice’s adorable yet somehow elegant style and the way it enhanced the vampires beauty she had stubbornly clung to her worn jeans, bulky sweaters and khaki skirts.

Today that was all changing. After a year of whining, begging, and pleading Alice had finally managed to convince Bella to let her restock her closet. Yesterday the two of them had spent all day holed up in Bella’s room sorting through her scanty closet. Alice would have just taken it all to good will but Bella fought her tooth and nail over every article of clothing. In the end Alice had only conceded 2 items for Bella to hold onto - her favourite white eyelet lace shirt and the blue blouse Bella had worn when Alice took her to the Cullen house for the first time.

It was nearly impossible for Bella to refuse Alice too long in anything, what with her lovely wide eyes, adorable hair and the endearing way she looked while pouting. If Alice’s pleading face didn’t get Bella to capitulate a soft kiss and roaming hands did the trick sure enough. As she thought of this Bella’s frown turned to a soft smile. Annoying though the pixie might be Bella had never loved anyone more. There was no one in the world quite like her Alice.

Once Bella’s hair was smooth, running down to her mid back in a chocolate waterfall, Bella grabbed her purse and bounded down the stairs. Alice and Charlie were playing a game of cribbage while they waited for Bella to make herself presentable. At the station Charlie was the reigning champion but he hadn’t managed to beat Alice once which baffled and annoyed him. To Alice’s delight Charlie found her company charming enough that he continued to play various card games with her, no one else indulged her anymore since she won every time. Charlie, unaware as he was, still had hope that one day he might win.

Alice played a two of hearts and marked three more points on the board for her run then turned to Bella with a dazzling smile.

“You ready to go now love?”

Bella could never get used to Alice’s beauty. She was unable to answer for a moment as she walked to her side and ran a hand through Alice’s choppy black hair.

“Uhm… we can wait until you two finish the game if you’d like?” Alice was just across the skunk line while Charlie trailed pitifully behind.

“No, no. Please take her away Bella,” Charlie groaned looking chagrinned, “I don’t think I can take much more of the beating I’m getting!”

“We can leave the game here, but only if Charlie agrees to count it as my win!” Alice declared with a sly grin in Bella’s direction.

“Anything to end the torture! There’s a game starting soon anyways.” Charlie agreed with a chuckle as he got up from his chair and lumbered into the kitchen to grab a beer.

Bella frowned after him. She’d hoped to buy herself at least a few more minutes before the shopping begun.

“Oh don’t worry love,” Alice chirped seeing Bella’s expression, “it’s going to be fun! Besides, I have a special present waiting to reward you so long as you cooperate.”

Alice winked and stretched onto her toes to give Bella a soft but teasing kiss before gently nibbling the taller girls lower lip. Bella’s fingers hooked in the belt loops of Alice’s jeans as she pulled her closer and so their foreheads were pressed together.

“Alice,” she whined. Bella kissed Alice’s cheek, her pointed nose, the sharp angle of her jaw. She was just about to connect their lips once more when Alice suddenly danced out of her grasp and adjusted Bella’s hold on her so now only their fingers were linked. Bella’s broken complaint was cut short by Charlie.

“Okay, you girls have fun in Seattle now. Alice, drive safe and Bella, don’t be too difficult, okay?”

“Yes Charlie!” They chorused, though Bella sounded significantly more disgruntled.

—

Then they were out the door and in Alice’s bright yellow Porsche. As they turned onto the highway Alice got a gleam in her eye and turned to Bella with a smile that made her regret not demanding they take her old rusted truck.

“Now then, the first part of any fun day is not spending all of it in the car sooooo,” Alice drew out the word as her grin grew wider, “you’re not going to get upset when I spend correct?”

Bella pressed her body against the seat and gripped the arm rests in panic as they began accelerating. She glanced over just to see the speed creep past 100mph. The trees were a hazy green blur alongside the road. Cars going the other direction flew by them like bullets.

“Wrong! Wronng! So wrong!” Bella chanted, her voice tight with fear. “Remember Alice we talked about this? I can’t walk away from a Volvo - or Porsche - pretzel.”

“Ye of little faith! We talked about this,” Alice took one hand from the wheel to tap Bella’s forehead, “Fortune teller, remember? I’d see an accident coming from at least a mile away. That’s plenty of time to change course.”

“Nope, still don’t like it.”

“Listen love, I’ll hold your hand the whole way and the sooner we get there the sooner shopping will be over.” Alice encouraged, prying Bella’s hand from the arm rest nearest her and lashing their fingers together.

“I think I’d prefer you kept two hands on the steering wheel.” Bella grumbled though she tightened her fingers around Alice’s deceptively dainty hand. At this point Bella didn’t know why she even bothered protesting, captivating as Alice was she would always get her way.

—

All in all the drive hadn’t been that bad. Bella focused on Alice’s face as Alice detailed the plans she had to create a cohesive look for Bella’s wardrobe, in an attempt to forget about how fast they were moving. Alice’s goal was for Bella’s entire closet to go with each other well enough that no matter what items of clothing Bella chose on any given day she would still look put together. This was referred to this as “Bella proofing” much to her chagrin.

Bella could just imagine all the Cullens laughing at her, next time she saw Emmett she was sure she’d never hear the end of it. At least she’d be strong enough to take his pride down a few pegs soon. Alice had told her she’d win every arm wrestle or fight for at least the first three months of her being a newborn. Bella couldn’t wait to take full advantage of that.

Though the contents of her wardrobe weren’t of much interest to Bella she adored watching Alice’s excitement grow as they approached the massive mall. Seeing someone Bella loved so clearly in her element was always heartwarming even when the subject of their interest was entirely foreign to Bella herself. She had to hold onto Alice’s hand as tightly as possible to keep her from bouncing away at inhuman speeds once they had parked. Bella briefly contemplated getting one of those backpack leashes people used to keep toddlers from running off which earned a scoff and eye roll from Alice when she had a vision of that suggestion being made.

“If anyone needs a leash it’s you, darling.” Alice said in her characteristic lilting way. “How else while I get you into the stores without a tantrum?” She batted her eyelashes at Bella with faux concern.

Bella smirked, “You can get a leash for me if you want Alice, but you already know I’d follow you anywhere.” Just saying the words had a warm blush blooming across Bella’s cheeks but the way Alice’s mouth popped open in surprise at her response was worth it. It wasn’t often that Bella could catch Alice off guard so she nearly always took the chance when she had it, even if it meant embarrassing herself.

“Well come on then,” Bella tugged the hand of a still stunned Alice, “you wanted to shop didn’t you?”

Mention of shopping broke Alice out of her surprised stillness. A dazzling grin appeared on her face before she gave Bella a kiss then she set off through the mall. Now it was Bella’s turn to be stunned but Alice was much stronger and easily towed her along towards her first target, Chanel.

“First things first, we’re getting rid of that horrible bag!” Alice pointed accusingly at the brown leather purse Bella had slung over her shoulder.

“Aw Alice, not the bag too.” Bella whined, but Alice was unwavering.

“The only reason I didn’t make you throw it out yesterday is because you needed something to carry your wallet in today. In approximately five minutes and fifteen seconds you will be the proud new owner of a quilted leather Chanel handbag and that…” Alice paused as if deliberating which word to use, “unfortunate bag of yours will no longer be necessary. Remember love, we can do this the easy way or the hard way but you already agreed so either way it is happening!”

She sounded maniacal, Bella thought to herself, but she gave up fussing about it. This would be a long day.

—

Four hours later the girls stopped for a break in the food court so Bella could have something to drink while Alice considered how best to tell Bella about the surprise she had planned to reward her for making it through a full day of shopping. There was only one store left on the list and though it was the most exciting Bella was more bashful then Alice so she had to be sure to bring it up in the correct way.

Bella sat across from Alice, caught in her own thoughts. Every item of Bella’s clothing, save the undergarments, was different than what she had walked into the mall wearing. As they shopped Alice had her switch from what she referred to as “sorely outdated” clothes into their most recent purchases. Alice had kept Bella in the nature themed palate she was already accustomed to but elevated the style in a way Bella hadn’t known possible. Browns and cremes were used as base colours with deep blue, olive green and forest green accents. Bella was rather surprised to find she loved everything Alice picked out for her.

As she got rid of the clothes she had come in and switched to wearing the perfectly fitting designer items she began to feel more confident and more like herself. It has shocked her to find out that at a couple stores Alice had even called to get items made specifically to Bella’s measurements for them to pick up. Bella realized she had no idea how much time her wonderful whirlwind of a girlfriend had spend considering each individual piece, though she was sure it must have been months for everything to work this well together.

“Hey Alice?” Bella asked, breaking into the other girls reverie.

“Yeah, love?” Alice beamed, already seeing what Bella was going to say.

“I just wanted to say thank you for all this.” Bella gestured towards the mountain of bags beside where they sat. “I know it must have taken a lot of time and consideration for you to plan everything this perfectly and, well, I’ve actually had fun with you today. Also, I know I wasn’t keen at first but I really do like the clothes you’ve picked out. It’s all so kind of you.”

Bella blushed, embarrassed to be saying her feelings out loud but it was well worth it to see Alice’s delight. She hopped up from her chair and walked around the table to sit in Bella’s lap and wrap her arms around the taller girls neck.

“Thank you for tolerating it,” she grinned up at Bella. “I saw that you’d like it but there was a possibility that you wouldn’t enjoy the new clothes until a week from now. It means a lot that you’d indulge me with this when I know it’s not your favourite way to spend a Saturday.”

“My favourite way to spend a Saturday is with you, what we’re doing doesn’t matter much. Though, I suppose some things are extra fun…” Bella blushed as she trailed off with a suggestive smile.

“Speaking of that, I still have to give you your surprise.”

“Speaking of ‘extra fun’ you mean?” Bella asked intrigued.

“Mhmm but it’s a surprise!”

“Aw really Alice?” Bella whined.

“Trust me, you’ll love it.” Alice emphasized the word love in a way that made Bella’s stomach tighten with anticipation.

“Alright let’s go then!”

Alice laughed as she let Bella scoot her off her lap. “My, my, isn’t someone eager now?” She teased causing Bella’s blush to deepen.

Despite her teasing Alice could smell Bella’s arousal which sent her hurrying to grab their bags just as quickly as her partner.

“Okay, follow me!” Alice chirped as she took off in what Bella realized was the opposite direction of their car.

“Um Alice, shouldn’t we be going the other way?” Bella hesitated, maybe she had misunderstood what Alice meant by extra fun.

“Trust me, I’ve already seen that you’ll love this.” Alice turned back to her with a smile so seductive Bella nearly melted right there. Then she danced off through the mall leaving Bella blushing and rushing to catch up.

—

Bella stomach was tight with anticipation as she followed Alice into an unmarked store. There was a single counter in the centre of what looked like a small waiting room. Behind it a tall woman with perfect black ringlets and an inviting smile glanced up from her computer.

“Hello, welcome to Sensations by Arielle Dejour. Did you have an appointment?” She asked in a remarkably alluring voice.

Bella blushed nervously, unsure how to answer and glanced at Alice.

“Yes, thank you. We have an appointment for a viewing under ‘Cullen’.” The smaller girl responded confidently.

It never failed to amaze Bella how Alice seemed at ease in every situation. Perhaps it had something to do with almost always knowing what was coming, or maybe it was the vampirism. Either way, Bella desperately hoped that once she was an immortal she too would be able to carry herself with Alice’s casual confidence. At least she wouldn’t be able to blush. As Bella mulled this over the receptionist had gotten the two girls checked in for the mystery appointment Alice had planned.

“Okay, everything is set. You will be in room three today, everything is waiting inside ready for you to try. If you need any assistance don’t hesitate to ask.” She talked while leading Alice and Bella down a hallway to a door marked with the number ‘3’ in gold paint. “At the back of the room you will find a small changing room then in the main area there are surrounding mirrors which provide a 360 degree view of each item. Enjoy your time.” She beamed while opening the door a sliver. Then without another word she clasped her hands, nodded, and headed off back to her desk.

“Uhm Alice?” Bella shot her a questioning stare once the receptionist was gone.

“Don’t worry my love!” Alice opened the door with a grin and flourish, “After you.”

After a moments hesitation Bella stepped into the room, setting her shopping bags down just inside the door. There was a sort of entry way with coat hooks and a mat for shoes. Confused but trusting Alice’s judgement, Bella unlaced her new combat boots and hung up the wool blazer Alice had put her in. The click of Alice locking the door sent a strange shiver of anticipation down Bella’s spine. After Alice had removed her own shoes and the cropped motorcycle jacket she had been wearing she took her girlfriend’s hand and led her forward so she could see the rest of the space.

It was a relatively small square room, empty save for a plush leather ottoman in the centre and full body mirrors which had been placed near the walls in a circle surrounding the ottoman. In the back left corner there was a little dressing room with a thick black curtain that could be pulled across for privacy. Bella gaped, understanding filling her the second she caught sight of the mirrors.

She had told Alice a few months ago that she had always fantasizing about having sex while she could see every angle of it unfolding in mirrors. But she had never dreamed Alice would aim to fulfill that fantasy in a setting like this, she had envisioned a few mirrors placed around the pixies bedroom in the Cullen house, not something as extravagant as the room they were in now. Besides, the setting felt so public - but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing Bella conceded as she felt her arousal grow at what would be happening now.

”Well?” Alice asked as she wound her thin arms around Bella’s waist from behind and stood on her toes to nibble her ear. “What do you think?”

Bella turned in Alice’s embrace so the shorter girl could see the nervous anticipation of her expression as she shook her head, slightly dazed.

“I- I don’t… I don’t think, Alice. I…” She trailed off unable to find the words to express her desire.

Alice frowned slightly as if worried but before she could get the wrong idea Bella ducked her head to catch Alice’s mouth in a searing kiss, opting to show Alice what she thought of all this rather then trying to find the words. Alice gasped, tightening her arms around Bella until it was impossible to pull her closer as she pressed up on her toes to deepen the kiss.

For a moment Alice almost entirely forgot her mission, Bella’s scent was a thick haze in the air around her and it turned her usually iron will to jello. But then Bella pulled back slightly, needing to breathe, and Alice was able to refocus on the plan. She peppered a few kisses into the flushed curve of Bella’s neck and across her collar bones, trying to keep Bella open to experimentation while she calmed herself enough to speak.

”There’s one other part to your surprise,” Alice smiled suggestively.

”Oh?” Bella wondered aloud, “I’m not sure this could get any better. Though I am confused about how all this is legal and in a mall.” She gestured to the mirrored room around them.

“Well technically this is a store, love. Go into the dressing room in the back and you’ll see what I mean.” Alice shooed Bella towards the curtained corner.

Hesitating only slightly Bella pulled the velvet curtain aside to reveal a tiny dressing room with dozens of bra and panty sets hanging on the wall. Alice heard the gasp that escaped her and chimed in “They’re all in your side, specially made for you… or us that is.”

Bella could feel her cheeks turning pink and knew Alice would be able to taste the scent of her arousal in the air. Without another word she pulled the curtain closed behind her and began shedding her clothes as quickly as possible, for once eager to let Alice dress her up and do whatever she pleased. From this day forward Bella knew she would never turn down another shopping trip with Alice for as long as they lived.

[dragbunart]

Some REALLY messy Concepts for some stuff I plan for Super Sonic Sound (Maybe I'll save up money to hire some voice actors and a few animators to do a few animations for it)

Super Sonic Sound is a silly little AU that's been rattling around my head for the better part of 2 months (or more)

I've mentioned each character has their own stuff their going through and how i want to pull from many sources of canon, the main ones being the game, Underground, and IDW comics (But as you'll see with Tania I will pull from all avenues as I see fit)

Sonic, Tania, Manic, and Sonia are separated at birth (for their safety) and don't meet up till the 'Classic' Era. So about 9, 10, or 11.

Sonic lives with his Uncle Chuck, who runs a Chilli dog truck that they travel from town to town. Never really staying in one place for multiple reasons.

Manic was SUPPOSED to live with a well-off family, but it was picked up by a thief who discovers he's not a package of valuables later but keeps him anyways because they like kids. This is how Manic ends up with Rouge as an Older sister.

Sonia is left at Acorn Castle and is Raised as Sally's childhood friend and Lady-in-Waiting. Honestly, they're raised more like sisters than Anything and Sonia's the only one who has an inkling she may be royal herself, with her photographic memory, and King Acorn mentioning Mobotropilis, glancing at her then deflecting. She also heard stories about how the Queen ran away with any heir to the thrown. Plus the adults are insistent she sit in on any of Sally's classes that have to do with ruling. (because as far as they know, Sonia's the only survivor of that royal family)

Tania is left at Vanilla and Cream's house (obviously before Cream is born). Taken in immediately as Vanilla's First daughter. Vanilla's family had relocated to the Acorn Kingdom from Mobotropilis (I may change its name in Super Sonic Sound) after the attack (as I Imagine Aleen didn't IMMDIOTLY separate her kids, she needed to make sure all the homes she planned on sending them to, were safe). Tania never really asks about her birth family because she's given so much love by Vanilla and later Cream.

This all comes to a head in the 'Classic' Era.

The Acorn Royal family is holding a huge festival/ball thing where any of the citizens can enter the Palace.

Tania obviously attends with Vanilla and Cream.

Sonia LIVES in the Palace so... Duh

Manic and Rouge decide its the perfect night for a heist on the palace.

While Sonic and his Uncle Chuck return to the town because it will be GREAT for business.

During the festivities, Sonic's running around delivering orders, when he runs (literally) into Tania, who claims to have seen two shady-looking individuals leave the main party. It's enough cause for concern that they talk to a Gaurd (a certain De'coolete or however you spell that name), Who dismisses them quickly, but Sonia overheard them. She tells Sally and Nichole she'll return shortly and escorts SOnic and Tania through the palace to where they keep the Kingdom's family jewels on display for plot reasons.

Manic hears them coming and rushes Rouge out, planning on taking the blame if he can't get out fast enough.

Obviously he can't so Rouge has to watch through the window as her adoptive brother is accused of trying to steal.

They don't get much time to argue about it because there's a large explosion from the ballroom.

Robots are attempting to capture everyone in sight, going for adults first. Sonic's quick to kick into action and start's smashing bots, while Tania begins to evacuate people out of the palace. Sonia orders Antoine to get Sally out of there while she creates a distraction, and he complies. Manic's a thief, not heartless, so he begins to aid the other's efforts where he can, taking out a bot or two here, and getting nearby civilians out.

Eggman (or whatever evil, but probably the Doc himself) shows up... Well he has a proxy of some sort he can be visible on and see through. because He recognizes Sonic's attack patterns as the thing thats been randomly smashing his bases and bots.

When he see's the four hedgehogs he's livid.

Straight up calling them 'Aleena's brats' and ordering their execution then and there to stop some prophecy. The attacks on the now disperse guests stop and the bots begin to focus on the hedgehogs. Sonic kind panics and grabs the other three, seeing the attacks focused on them.

He rushes them into Chuck's truck, and begins to speed off, shortly after realizing his Uncle has probably been captured (as he wouldn't have left the stove on or keys on the ground). He wants to go back to save him but right now it's live or death.

Tania navigates them to Vanilla's house, where the rabbit had already started packing, having been told by her husband if this were to happen to run into the forest.

Tania asks who 'Aleena' was and Vanilla is silent, but Sonia's not. Informing them of Mobotropilis and the unknown fate that befell the royal family.

Vanilla opens up. Her husband had belonged to the royal guard and shortly after the Queen's children were born there was a prophecy that a great tyrant would appear but those to which the throne truly belongs would stop it, freeing everyone caught in his grasp. She also admits while her husband never confirmed it before his death, she always had a feeling Tania wasn't just some orphaned girl left on her doorstep.

Vanilla also reveals that their instrument charms were some ancient royal relic, and she didn't know the specifics.

Sonia reveals she had been having suspicions for years, but this confirmed it, and seeing as Robotnik referred to ALL of them as Aleena's brats, the four were probably siblings.

Manic is quiet but asks if there's anything more to that prophecy. But Vanilla says she doesn't know.

Cream asks what are they gonna do next? Are they going to come with her and her mother into the forest or... Sonic admits he's going to take down Eggman no matter what, and the others are welcome to join him. Manic and Sonia say they need time to think, while Tania immediately joins.

She doesn't want Cream to have to run forever, so the sooner Eggman is handled the sooner her sister can have a stable home life.

Sonia meets Sally outside the palace where Sally reveals the castle has been taken over, so she's evacuating her people into the forest. Sonia explains the situation on her end and Nichole encourages Sonia to go, she's obviously needed with her siblings. Sonia gives her tearful goodbyes and promises to be in touch as much as possible.

Meanwhile Manic met up with Rouge, who had been trailing him. It's... a Hard chat about doing the right thing. Rouge understands Manic could get all the answers he's wanted about who his family is and was, but she could lose her brother, her partner in crime in the process. Manic jokes how the rewards for taking down someone like Robotnik could be nice, and he'll make sure Rouge has a fancy, high-paying title if it turns out he is some fancy prince.

Rouge doesn't want him to go, afraid he'll like his biological family better but lets him go regardless. He needed her to.

She decides to become a treasure hunter in the meantime, get their funds up just in case things went south.

Tania promises to come check on Cream and Vanilla when she can To write them.

The four load into the Chilidog truck and leave the city.

Sonic lets them know he's been fighting Eggman for a bit, and the truck has been a great cover, but he'll need to teach them the family business.

Within the first few towns, they find a rhyme. Tania's a great waitress, zooming around on her skates. Sonic is their speedy delivery man. Sonia is a great Cashier, friendly and cheerful. And Manik is killer in the kitchen.

Eventually Manic realizes the truck has a few hidden functions, discovering that it can convert from a kitchen to a living quarters, to a stage.

It's about this time that they try experimenting with their relics. Manic absentmindedly using them to air drum when a set of drums magically appears in front of him. Tania and Sonic both have picks, Sonic just tended to use his on an actual guitar. But After seeing what happened with Manic Tania tries to air bass. Sure enough a bass appears.

Sonia doesn't understand her's as much, since it's not like a pick, or drumsticks, hers just seems to be a keyboard pattern. Sonic asks if she knows Paino and Sonia's insulted he asks and shows him by showing him the position of her fingers for a song.

And like magic a keytaur appears. They realize that it's actually very easy to vibe together like this. Music becomes their bonding activity. Though they don't form a band JUST yet.

And that's all I got for these concepts. I'll probably go over more some other time. But this would be how the story starts. probably over the course of a few episodes if I were to animate it

[triviareads]

Note: I've linked StoryGraph summaries of every book to each title.

Glory and the Master of Shadows by Grace Callaway: This is my third consecutive month of screaming about Grace (0 shame btw). First and foremost, I deeply appreciated this book for touching on the Opium Wars and the atrocities wreaked on China by Britain, and how the government was complicit.

Wei is one of those uber-competent heroes who isn't outwardly a mess (like many a Grace hero lol). Like, in one night, he saves Glory from falling off a drain pipe, goes down on her (which... her mom may or may not have unwittingly overheard but tbh Maggie does not have a leg to stand on), and fixes the drain pipe before leaving. Truly a prince among men. That being said, his trauma runs deep to the point where his life is solely focused on revenge, which is why Glory is such a shock to his system. Wei and Glory's dynamic is just adorable: A heavy dash of teacher/student, along with a really deep shared understanding between them about what makes the other tick, and not just because of commonalities in cultural background. Like, Wei appreciates Glory for the very qualities that make her a bit of an awkward turtle in society.

Plus, it's always fun to read about previous Grace heroes and heroines. The Charlie's Angels gals' friendship is going strong, even if Glory initially feels a little off about being the only unmarried one in their group. Fiona does the modern equivalent of giving Glory a slutty makeover to seduce her crush. Rhys (the heroine's formerly slutty dad) is now a Serious Politician who is sponsoring an anti-opium bill. Hawk apparently has sympathy pains during Fiona's pregnancy. Gavin Hunt is so excited about possibly having a grandson named after him he makes the kid engraved jewelry before they're born. I love this gang.

Caitlin Crews

I wanted to get into some of my Harlequin recs this month, but when I made a list, I realized maybe one author a month would be better. So let's talk about Caitlin Crews. What I love about her writing style is that she's not afraid to make you dislike both the heroes and heroines a little (or a lot). It's easy to write a hero who is The Worst but then you eventually come around to him, but a winning formula is writing a hero who scares you a little and pisses you off a lot, and then a heroine who annoys you almost equally. But in a good way, for both. The dialogue is also always, always on point.

The sex Caitlin writes feels... borderline transcendent? Like you read that shit and think "this is not attainable" and then happily go back to reading more. Here are some of her books I'd rec:

The Viking's Runaway Concubine

The only Harlequin Historical I'll recommend, and only because I was terrified for most of it during my first read. Terrified but enthralled. It's set in Viking-ruled Britain in a time where slavery was practiced. There's an M/s dynamic to Ulfric and Eithine's relationship except, Ethine is Ulfric's literal slave as well. Do we see where the lines of consent are blurred?

But here's the thing: The sex is hot. It's very hot. Ulfric is obsessed with finding Ethine after she ran away from him, and her punishment for her "transgressions" once she's found is written brilliantly. He's also, in general, obsessed with her. He's all "you might as well have stabbed me in the HEART instead of slashing my face when you left meeee". On top of that, Ethine's whole inner conflict is that she *shouldn't* find pleasure in the pain he gives her, so she tries to convince herself she's being forced to take it. There's a looooot of conversations between Ulfric and Ethine about consent and gender roles so the book actually keeps you on your toes on like, an intellectual level lol.

Claimed in the Italian's Castle

A modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Angelina is practically sold off by her weirdly feudal family to the "Butcher of Castello Nero", Benedetto Franceschi, a man whose past 6 wives have all died under mysterious circumstances. Regardless, he gets Angelina off at her piano several dozen times so she does what any smart gal should do and agrees to marry him. By the time we hit the climax (the emotional climax; not the sexual one) I remembered why I loved this book, namely, how a so-called boogeyman (he's so self-loathing that he looooves thinking of himself as a boogeyman) is reduced to a sopping wet pathetic mess on his knees. There's a winner right there.

Just One More Night

The last 3 books are Harlequin Dare books, which have sadly stopped being published, but here are my favorites:

Speaking of heroines that irritate me, let's talk about Indiana 'Indy' March: She's a free spirit (but in a self-sustainable way) who does what she wants, walks away when things get too intense, and says shit like "Ambition is for people who don't like what they have. But I do", causing my poor little capitalist heart to go "nooooooo".

Anyway, it's interesting because for a woman who doesn't like being tied down, she voluntarily goes to meet a man she accidentally walked in on like, assassinating people in a random alleyway in Budapest and then IMMEDIATELY proceeded to have sex with said man, Stefan (and when she says they didn't use a condom, he says the seminal masterpiece of a line "you American girls are always on the pill"). And now, two years later, she's back to meet him at a time and place designated by him, and it goes from there. He does, at some point refer to her pussy as "one of the great wonders of the world". Out loud.

Teach Me

This one has your classic Caitlin bratty heroine— Erika— who gatecrashes a sex club to try and hook up with her brother's best friend Dorian (yes, bear with me— his name is the least hottest thing about him). This man tries to scare her away by delivering a spanking but like, she's obviously very into it. He then proceeds to dom her into being less self-sabotage-y and coaches her through her mommy issues, which I thought was cool of him. Would recommend.

The Risk

The stripper-ballerina book. Literally. She's a ballerina who wants to let loose so she gets into an exclusive club to do a burlesque routine, and then a man buys her (time) for the night for anonymous sex. Not a lot going on tbh, just really well-written, evocative stuff. Like at some point during sex, she's wearing the wings from her routine and nothing else which I thought was hella cool.

[inamihh]

Story time

So once I babysat my friend's boyfriend's cat for 2 weeks. When they first brought up this idea , I was quite reluctant at first because I've never had a pet before . And funny enough,I was quite worried about the fact that the cat might not like me.

So a little back story here, my friend and I used to live together at that time. She wanted a pet for quite a while but I was always against the idea. She believed that I hated the idea of pets . But the truth was that she can be quite irresponsible sometimes and I was worried that I would be left alone to take care of the pet and I wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment and the rooms were very small. Any pet would suffocate in that space so I didn't want to put a life through all that shit . Plus I was scared that I would eventually fall in love with that thing and it would be hard for me to leave when I finish college.

Fast forward to last month , my friend and her boyfriend found a kitten and decided to keep him. He was just a month old . His name is Tiger , a ginger cat. So they both left to visit their families leaving Tiger ( cat's name) with me. At first , whenever I was with the cat i wasn't able to do anything else other than playing with him. He demanded your attention . And I kind of loved petting him . I had grown quite fond of that tiny cat . One day when I came back home , just as I opened the door he ran outside. I was literally chasing him down the stairs. It was so scary . I was terrified when he reached the main street . I stood where I was because I was scared that if I were to chase him , he would just run away further. I felt like crying. Somehow I managed to lure him with the treats. I took him inside and cleaned his paws. I was so hurt . I didn't understand. Even though I know very clearly that cat's brains don't work like humans. But still I felt betrayed. It was my birthday the very next day . My friend and her boyfriend were already back , so I asked them to take Tiger back. So my birthday came and I went out with my friends. I was told that by the time I will come home , they would have taken Tiger back to his place. I was quite sad. But when I came back he was there. I've never felt this happy . But yes he left after a few hours. It's alright as my college was over and I was leaving for home in a few days. So i convinced myself that it's alright even though I really wanted to see him one last time .

Now I am back home and I really miss Tiger. My friend and I are not on talking terms because something happened and i decided it's best for me if I don't talk to her for sometime . And now I kind of miss both of them. My friend and Tiger. I had a dream this morning,that she was about to hand me Tiger and just as I was about to hold him , I woke up . I was so desperate to go back to sleep just so that I could hold him in my dreams. It's sad that I don't get to express this sadness to anyone. If things were okay between us , I would have called her up and told her how much I miss you guys. But sometimes you just need to prioritize yourself and let some people go .

End of story

[ketso]

Sneak Peek Friday!

Today, I am sharing two chapters out of my upcoming novel with you!

We have said that with the competitions that we have run throughout the posting of this season’s story, some lucky winner will get to win a hardcopy of my new novel that is to be released in October 2023, titled Yeni: A family & its business.

You can still stand a chance to win!

All you need to do to stand a chance to win is:

1. Invite 5 friends or more to this read

2. Share your views of the story (posts, not today’s sneak peek into the novel)

3. Tell us about your favourite characters

The prizes are as follows:

Three people will win customized notebooks;

Two people will win copies of the new novel (snippet being shared in today’s post);

One person will win a collection of all Ketso Madonsela novels (My Worth Crowned You; Nosi & The Church; Mrs Him Book 1; Mrs Him Book 2; Last Wife Standing) PLUS the new novel that is set to launch this October 2023 (snippet being shared in today’s post)

I am looking forward to announcing winners soon and sharing these prizes with you! So please, keep tagging people and inviting them to our reads… keep commenting and telling us what you think… keep telling us about your favourite characters!

For today, happy reading Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of the new and upcoming novel!

…

Chapter 1

"Hello handsome", Ayanda greets her fine godauve of a man, Nathaniel Nel.

It has been a long day for both of them. Nate was in theatre all day performing surgeries, and Ayanda was living the life of an executive PA: making her chief's life a lot easier at the expense of her own sanity.

"Hello gorgeous. You look exhausted. How about I give you a foot massage while you tell me all about your day?" Nate suggests. But it is nothing out of the ordinary. Nate is a thoughtful person, and his love language is literally performing acts of service.

"You are far too sweet, Dr Nel. I had actually planned to come here and cook you a mean meal so that you can tell me all about your surgeries. I couldn’t get hold of you all day. I missed you." Ayanda says as she cuddles into his warm big arms filled with incredible love and passion.

Nate smiles. He loves this woman. They have been together for seven years now and he still looks at her as if he just met her.

Ayanda starts preparing dinner and Nate goes upstairs to dress down into something more comfortable. Ayanda started at her place, so she has already changed out of her heels and tight dress outfit. She is now dressed in short shorts, sneakers and a baggy basketball t-shirt. She pours herself a glass of wine to keep her company while Nate is changing upstairs.

Nate eventually comes down the stairs wearing shorts and no t-shirt. He is a handsome and fine-looking white man. He feasts on gym sessions and his chizzeled body keeps Ayanda’s eyes glued to him as he makes his way back to her. Nate is about twelve years older than Ayanda, but somehow, they make a beautiful couple. He is so tall. Ayanda is up to his chest in height. He loves it though.

"How are the twins?" Nate asks Ayanda as he has her wrapped in his arms.

"They are okay. They are visiting my mom, that's why I'm here without them today." Ayanda explains.

Ayanda has a set of twins who are now eight years old. They are fraternal twins: a boy (named Melusi) and a girl (named Ntandokazi). The father of these twins is not only a worldwide known businessman who is known for his true brilliance and unexplainable charm, but he is also the true love of Ayanda's life.

Ayanda ran away from Gauteng to live in Umhlanga for reasons still unknown to Sakhile Yeni. Ayanda found out about her pregnancy three months into living in Umhlanga. Today, Ayanda can follow his life because someone is always writing about him in the media. He still believes that she just left and never looked back.

Ayanda met Nate when the twins were a couple of months old. He has been helping her raise them ever since.

"I miss them. I bought them a few gifts", Nate says.

"Thank you, baby... not just for the gifts, but for everything. Not a lot of men would raise kids that aren’t theirs", Ayanda.

"Not a lot of men get to call you their better half", Nate.

Ayanda and Nate passionately indulge in an incredible kiss.

"I really want you upstairs and in bed. We will dine out tonight", Nate whispers.

Ayanda jumps on top of him. Nate catches Ayanda with one arm and stretches the other arm to switch off the stove.

He carries Ayanda upstairs and when they get to the bedroom, Nate puts Ayanda down. The pair are now breathing heavily.

"My angel, I want to make love to my fiancé tonight", Nate randomly says between the heavy breathing happening between him and Ayanda.

Huh?

Nate turns Ayanda around and she faces the ring lying on the bed.

She turns around to look at Nate and he is on one bended knee.

"Ayanda Kunene, will you please give me the honour of calling myself your husband? I want to marry you, baby, and I want to adopt the twins. The three of you are my family. I love you. Please marry me. Then tonight, I can make love to you as your fiancé", Nate.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ayanda screams.

With that, they have their first evening in bed as fiancés.

...

Lira is performing at the private dinner reserved for the Yeni family and their partners. Tonight, the Yeni brothers celebrate the engagement of Sakhile Yeni to his beautiful fiancé, Lefika Letuka.

Lefika is a beautiful woman who was born and raised in Dube, Soweto. She is a solutions architect by profession, she is madly in love with Sakhile by favour of the simple things in life.

Lefika and Sakhile are dancing to the melodies of Lira, celebrating what is about to become a powerful couple.

Sakhile's brothers (Thomas and Ntokozo) are also dancing with their wives (Thimna and Zuziwe).

Sakhile is the middle brother. You can imagine the running jokes that came with Ntokozo (the youngest) making it to the altar before he did. However, he was always stuck on the one that got away; the one he had already traditionally married, but could not make it to the altar with where their union would be sealed by a priest and witnesses dressed in their Sunday best.

He still keeps her pictures. His brothers have told him – pleaded with him that it is time he let her go. It has been nine years. If she were ever coming back, she would be back by now. Nevertheless, he always had hope... he had hope that she would come back to Gauteng and they would still have a chance. I guess his engagement to his three-year long girlfriend is his first step to moving on.

"I have something to tell you", Lefika whispers in Sakhile's ear.

"Yeah?" Sakhile.

"I'm pregnant", Lefika says with excitement.

Sakhile spins her around in the air and shouts at the top of his lungs, "She has made me a father! I have definitely made the right decision with this one."

Being a father means everything to Sakhile.

"I'm finally going to have my first child", Sakhile announces.

The following morning, the engagement of Sakhile Yeni and Lefika Letuka is all over the media - social media included. Ayanda bumps into it as she is scrolling through her phone. She is at the office already, preparing the day for the chief that she is an executive PA to. She cries a bit. It is not easy seeing him this happy with someone else.

She starts something that she knows she will never be able to take back. However, it must be done, she thinks to herself.

"Congratulations on your engagement", she dms him on twitter.

After 3 seconds...

"Ayanda Kunene? Is this a prank?" Sakhile replies to the dm.

"No Sax. It's me. I just wanted to say congratulations. Have a good day", Ayanda.

Sakhile knows that Ayanda is the only person who calls him Sax.

"Yanda, please give me a number to contact you on", Sakhile requests.

"082 123 1234", Ayanda replies.

---

A throwback: Yanda & Sax

“Hi, I am Sakhile Yeni. I am the CEO of the company. I thought I’d come down and meet our new Operations Manager”, Sakhile says as he stands in front of Ayanda in her new office.

“I remember you. You were in my last round of interviews. I had no idea that you were the CEO though. Thank you for coming down to meet me. I really appreciate this, Mr Yeni.” Ayanda replies.

“Please, call me Sakhile. You have a very impressive CV. I am confident that you will take this company to the next level. As a founder of any company, you need to know when you have reached your ceiling and can no longer take the company or brand any further. That’s when we start hiring brilliant people such as yourself to take us to the next level”, Sakhile says.

“That is very profound. I am looking forward to serving under you, Sakhile. Leaders such as yourself are very rare.” Ayanda.

“How are you settling in? Do you like your office?” Sakhile says, getting comfortable in Ayanda’s office as she is unpacking her boxes, making her office homey and comfortable.

“My manager has already had a one-on-one with me and dumped three piles of files that I need to get through. It is mostly the company’s progress reports, operational reports and reports for the board and investors. He has already introduced me to the team. They seem great. I believe I will be meeting with more managers later today.” Ayanda explains.

“Wow, Tom is really not giving you a break. Today is your first day. I will talk to him.” Sakhile says.

“No, please don’t do that. He is a cool guy and I knew that this role came with pressure and responsibility. Don’t worry about me. I will be good. I am here to make the company proud.” Ayanda says.

Sakhile smiles at her and says, “I am very happy to hear that. I just don’t want the company to be the reason you start having problems with your husband.”

“That should not be your problem, sir. I am here to work. My personal life should be the last thing that you worry about”, Ayanda.

Sakhile nods his head.

“Have a great first day, Mrs Kunene. I will be on my way now.” Sakhile says, standing up and making his way to the door.

“It is actually Miss Kunene. But, you can call me Ayanda.” Ayanda says. Sakhile nods and leaves Ayanda’s office.

…

9pm

Ayanda is still in her office reading the files that Thomas gave to her and making notes for her team meeting scheduled for 11am tomorrow. It is raining. Ayanda told herself that she will work until the rain calms down. Sakhile has just knocked off himself and as he makes his way to his car, he notices that the light in Ayanda’s office is on. He knocks on Ayanda’s door and lets himself in.

“It is 9pm, Ayanda”, Sakhile says. He is standing at the door and looking at Ayanda.

“I am very much aware of that, Sakhile.” Ayanda says, raising her head to smile at him.

“You should be home by now. Thomas, your boss, left the office at 4pm.” Sakhile states.

Ayanda closes the file and looks at Sakhile. Sakhile sees this as a sign to come into the office and get comfortable. He closes the door.

“I need to be on top of my game. I have a meeting with my team tomorrow and there is a lot that I need to get through before that meeting.” Ayanda explains.

“We don’t expect you to overwork yourself like this. You know that, right?” Sakhile says to her.

“What is it exactly that you expect me to do? You are paying me a lot of money as an investment in my talent. Surely you expect an ROI on that.” Ayanda tells him.

“Awusho, don’t you have a family? A steady partner? Kids?” Sakhile asks her.

“I could ask you the same question. Or is it only men that are allowed to work into the still of the night while a family waits for him at home?” Ayanda.

“Well, I am a CEO. However, I do not have a wife or kids. I have a girlfriend, but she understands how hard I need to work for her to live the life that I give her. My mother lives in KZN, my eldest brother is married, and my youngest brother is whipped by his new girlfriend. That’s why they are usually out of here by 4pm.” Sakhile explains.

“Maybe you should marry your girlfriend and make sure that you follow their example”, Ayanda comments.

“There’s a reason why I am the CEO. Whoever I marry needs to understand that this is how it will always be. Our plans are to grow this business and nothing else. We started from nothing and our goal is to not end up with nothing when all is said and done. I don’t think my girlfriend understands that.” Sakhile states.

Ayanda nods her head.

“So, what about you? A steady partner? Children?” Sakhile enquires.

“I don’t have a husband, a steady partner or children. My career is very demanding and I demand a lot from myself. I left the country upon my undergraduate graduation to further my studies and work abroad. I had a dude there, but I always knew that I was never going to marry him. I spent two years in LA then moved to London. I worked a bit there while completing my Masters Degree. My LA guy was still hopeful about our relationship. I felt bad about having given up on him already, so I decided to be a nice person and not cheat on him.”

Sakhile laughs at this comment that Ayanda makes. Ayanda smiles.

“He had money to travel between the countries, so I let him. Then I came back to South Africa and ghosted him. So here I am, single and able to do my job until whatever time I see fit, and no one will ask me crap about it.” Ayanda concludes.

Sakhile laughs, taking in how free Ayanda’s spirit is.

“Your parents must have missed you while you were away”, Sakhile says.

“Not really. We were used to being apart. I am an only child. My mother practiced nursing in the UK from when I was six. My dad passed away. I have been in boarding school since grade three. It’s just how we are. My mom returns from the UK next year. She is retiring. I am thinking of buying her a house in KZN, Umhlanga. We are from eMlazi anyway, so I think she will appreciate staying in KZN. I could never live with her. I have never had to and starting at this grown age might ruin our relationship. My mom and I are closer when we live apart.” Ayanda says.

“I see. You really are a breath of fresh air.” Sakhile.

“Thank you. Now that you have finally interviewed me, may I get back to my work?” Ayanda says.

Sakhile chuckles.

“I have a bit to do as well for this evening. How about I get us some food then we can work in my office? It is bigger and more comfortable. I am sure you haven’t eaten.” Sakhile suggests.

“You don’t have to –

“I insist. Please. It’s just the two of us here. I am sure it is only decent that sihlale sobabili as we burn the midnight oil. Come on.” Sakhile insists.

“Okay. Please get me Chicken Licken hot wings, McDonald’s fries and a McDonald’s Mango frappe. Thanks.” Ayanda places her order and starts packing her bag.

Sakhile chuckles and shakes his head.

…The beginning…

…

Chapter 2

Tonight is Ayanda's and Nate's engagement party. First, they have to get the Friday at work out of the way. Ayanda has been complimented all week for her beautiful engagement ring.

"I can't believe you are getting married to a white boy", Nomzamo said to her on Monday when Ayanda announced her engagement. Nomzamo is also a PA in the same company. She and Ayanda have become good friends.

"Well, who did you want me to get married to? You know I love me some Dr Nate Nel", Ayanda.

"I thought you would have fixed things with baby-daddy by now", Nomzamo.

"You do know that he is getting married, right?" Ayanda.

"You are still the mother of his twins – his first children may I add. All you have to do is object that those two people should be married, and you know for a fact that you will have him back", Nomzamo.

Ayanda simply looked at her and did not comment.

"Anyway, congratulations my friend", Nomzamo concluded the conversation.

"Aya, may I please have a minute with Titus?" one of the executive heads disturbs Ayanda's thoughts as she stands at Ayanda's desk requesting time with the chief that Ayanda assists.

"May I ask what the meeting is about?" Ayanda asks as per her usual routine to determine the level of priority of each meeting. Titus is a very busy man and the key part of Ayanda's job is to ensure that matters are prioritised appropriately.

"It's important, that's all you need you know", Charmaine responds.

Charmaine has a reputation of being the cow in the office. Even Titus himself has an issue with her behaviour and attitude. However, that does not stop him from sleeping with her.

"Charmaine, I cannot help you if you do not give me information. You know how this works", Ayanda softly says, careful to not draw attention.

"The problem with you PAs is that you have appointed yourselves as CEOs. I am not asking you to schedule time for me to see Titus, I AM TELLING YOU THAT I NEED TO SEE TITUS AND I NEED TO SEE HIM NOW!" Charmaine speaks at the top of her voice. Now the entire open-plan office space is staring at these two women who look like they are fighting for a man.

Ayanda gives her one look then puts earphones on and carries on with her work.

The thing is, Ayanda is an educated young woman. When she still lived in Johannesburg and worked in the company that was owned by the Yeni brothers, she was a manager for operations. She became a PA to Titus, but she is also heavily involved in operations at the company that she is currently working in. She consults on massive projects. Senior management loves her. They wanted to give her the position of COO (Chief Operations Officer), but she declined it because she wanted to keep a low profile and not be all over the news. She did not want Sakhile Yeni to find her or her children. Charmaine is the outlier that seems to have a gripe against Ayanda.

Charmaine slams her fist against Ayanda's table and yells, "TELL TITUS I AM HERE TO SEE HIM AND HE MUST MAKE HIMSELF AVAILABLE".

Ayanda whispers to Charmaine, "You are sleeping with Titus, not me. Kindly refrain from disrespecting me. You do this nonsense at his house, not on my desk. Titus is not available. Now be a professional and get back to work".

Charmaine is shocked. Didn't she get the memo? PAs know everything. PAs book all your hotel stays, honey.

Charmaine walks away in shame, but grateful that Ayanda is matured enough to not make that announcement to the entire office. The truth is that Titus is in his office with his wife. Even if he wanted to be disturbed, Ayanda knows better than to let his pregnant mistress walk in while he is with his wife.

...

"I am so excited about going to Paris, my goodness", Lefika is excited to go to Paris to celebrate hers and Sakhile's engagement. Sakhile has not exactly reached out to Ayanda yet, but he has been thinking about her a lot. He is thinking about her as he always thought about her when she had just left. He is thinking about her with hope in his heart. Sakhile is back at that dangerous place of wanting to find her again.

"Babe, ushup?" Lefika asks non-responsive and non-excited Sakhile.

"You know my love, Tom, NTK and I were talking. The business needs all three of us right now, so we cannot leave. I will not be able to go to Paris with you, but you are welcome to take Thimna and Zu", Sakhile.

"Ok, kodwa Sakhile I am not engaged to Thimna and Zuziwe, I am engaged to you. I also have a career, but I have taken leave so that I can enjoy my engagement to the man that I love. Why am I not put first in your life?" Lefika.

"Lee, this is not a good time for me to be on holiday in Paris. I told you this when you were booking your tickets. I am running a business. I cannot just take leave like I am some employee who has no real responsibility to the company", Sakhile frustratingly says.

"Are you being serious right now?" Lefika.

"I am not going to Paris, end of story", Sakhile.

With this, Sakhile leaves the bedroom and heads to the bar. He pours himself a stiff drink then goes into his study.

"It is 8pm now. What could she be doing? Probably sleeping. Nope. She was never the type to sleep early. That girl works hard." He thinks to himself.

Sakhile pulls out his phone and gazes at her cellphone number on his cellphone screen. He dials the number.

Ayanda is slow-dancing to mood music and enjoying her engagement party. Her cellphone vibrates in her clutch bag, which is somewhere in Nate's parents' house. It does not help that Sakhile is calling with a private number because now Ayanda cannot return the call when she sees that she has a missed call.

---

A throwback: Yanda & Sax

"So -

"Sir, I'm literally emailing you the report you asked for, right now", Ayanda says, interrupting Sakhile as he had walked into her office to say something.

"Report?" Sakhile enquires.

"The one the board asked for. Tom said I should send it to you, him and NTK before I go home", Ayanda explains.

"Oh. Do you mind just taking me through it now on your laptop?" Sakhile.

"Sure", Ayanda.

They spend two hours going through the report and making the necessary changes. After the two hours, Sakhile thanks Ayanda for her dedication to the company.

"A friend of mine has invited me to his place for a braai and some drinks. It's his wife's birthday so after taking her out all day, he invited a few people to come by and hang out", Sakhile.

"Okay. Have fun", Ayanda.

"I was hoping you'd come with me", Sakhile.

Ayanda looks at Sakhile. She sighs. Then she says, "Listen, this is not going to end well. I've seen how you look at me and I know that you don't invite everyone to work in your office after hours. But you are my boss. I don't want to sleep my way to the top."

"You are a beautiful woman. And yes, I do like you. Our time will come for us to explore this chemistry between us further. But tonight, it's just drinks." Sakhile explains himself.

"Okay then. In that case, let me make my way home so I can change out of these clothes and get into something more comfortable". Ayanda.

"I'll pick you up at 8pm."

"It's 7pm right now."

"How much time do you need?"

"Come at 8:30. I'll send you my location at 8pm", Ayanda says with a threatening eye.

Sakhile laughs.

...

Ayanda just looks simple, but beautiful. There is a natural beauty about her that just cannot be denied. Her spirit is out of this world. She is wearing blue jeans, torn at the knees, and a t-shirt torn in rows at the back, but she looks beautiful. Her sneakers are cool too. Sakhile definitely notices her chilled side too, but even in that, she is as hot as she is in the office with her heels and professional wear. Her block braids make her look gorgeous and bring out her hoop earrings well.

"A punctual man? I'm impressed", Ayanda says as she settles in the front seat of Sakhile's BMW X5.

"I couldn't wait to see your gorgeous self. I have been waiting for that location to arrive on my phone. You definitely didn't disappoint. You look gorgeous." Sakhile tells Ayanda, driving away from Ayanda's complex in Sunninghill and making his way to his friend's house in Midrand.

The drive to Midrand is nice. Ayanda and Sakhile are chatting and laughing away. It started off as a conversation about work then it turned to a "getting to know each other better" conversation. There is some singing here and there to old skool jams that are playing on the radio. When they arrive, Ayanda puts her handbag in the boot then she and Sakhile walk in.

The friends are excited to see Sakhile. They welcome Ayanda beautifully and she likes it.

"It’s nice to finally see this guy with a girlfriend. And such a gorgeous one, I am proud", his friend the host says. His name is Kwanele.

"Girlfriend? He told you that I'm his girlfriend?" Ayanda says, making Kwanele, Sakhile and Kwanele's wife, Zakithi, uncomfortable.

"Are you not his girlfriend?" Kwanele.

"Well if I am, then your boy really lacks game. Can you believe that he has never laid his lips on mine?" Ayanda.

The smiles come back on everyone's faces.

"Sakhile, come on. Such a beautiful woman? How?" Kwanele.

Right there and then, Sakhile gently pulls Ayanda in by her waist and kisses her. Ayanda returns the kiss.

"And now? Am I your boyfriend now?" Sakhile says, eyes still closed from the enduring kiss.

"Pending", Ayanda.

The laughter fills the moment. Ayanda comes out of Sakhile's arms.

"It's lovely to meet you Ayanda and I look forward to attending yours and Sakhile's wedding. You are family now". Kwanele.

...

Saturday morning at 9am, Sakhile calls Ayanda. He dropped her off at home just after 4am this morning. The braai at the friend’s place was a lot of fun and ended quite late. After the braai, an after party of some sort was attended in Tembisa. Ayanda and Zakithi hit it off really well and in Tembisa, they brought Durban to GP after a few drinks. The men had beer and definitely enjoyed watching their women unwind - especially Sakhile.

It takes a few rings before Ayanda answers her phone. She is deep in her sleep.

"Hello", Ayanda answers her phone. She is still drunk on sleep.

"Good morning to you too, lovely lady", Sakhile.

"How and why are you awake and so chirpy?" Ayanda.

"I'm at your gate and your security has been trying to call you. Please ask them to let me in", Sakhile.

"Okay", Ayanda.

Ayanda rolls out of bed. She is wearing bumshorts and a lingerie vest. Security phones her again to let her know that she has a guest. She instructs security to let Sakhile in. She walks to the door to unlock the door then she goes back to her room to make the bed. She checks the time and is slightly annoyed.

Sakhile walks in as Ayanda goes back into her TV room.

"Hello sexy", Sakhile.

"I'm just tired and hung over", Ayanda.

"I was hoping you'd pack a bag and go spend the day and evening with me somewhere nice. Our flight takes off to Cape Town in a few hours", Sakhile.

"What the fuck, dude? I'm still recovering from yesterday. And who just wakes up and decides to go to Cape Town?" Ayanda.

Sakhile laughs.

"If it’s any consolation. It is a business meeting that I need to attend. You and I will have fun afterwards. Please shower and pack an overnight bag. Please?" Sakhile.

Ayanda looks at Sakhile for a minute then goes to pack her bags. Sakhile watches some sports channel.

After Ayanda is all packed up, she takes a shower. This time, she wears a sporty dress with Jordan four retro sneakers. She wears a cap over her braids and packs some stuff into her handbag.

Sakhile holds her overnight bag for her then they leave Ayanda's place. Ayanda is still drinking cold water.

After their two-hour flight, Sakhile and Ayanda make their way to their hotel. They are staying in two separate rooms. The first thing Ayanda does is pass out. She just throws herself on her bed and sleeps. Luckily, Sakhile has business meetings to attend in Cape Town. However, upon his return, Ayanda is dressed up and ready for dinner.

She is determined to return to Sakhile's room and solve this sexual tension issue between the two of them. Plus, she has been starving for some time now.

The dress of the night is a red body-hugging strapless dress. Underneath the dress is beige lingerie.

Dinner is exciting. As expected, they walk back to their hotel rooms hand-in-hand.

"I thought we could chat some more in your room before I retire to mine?" Ayanda.

"I'm not going to say no to that", Sakhile says as he leads Ayanda to his room. Ayanda walks in after Sakhile.

"May I use your restroom?" Ayanda.

"Sure. If you don't mind, I'll just change into something more comfortable", Sakhile.

"I plan to do the same", Ayanda.

She disappears into the restroom, leaving Sakhile confused. What is she changing into? Her clothes are in her hotel room, not Sakhile’s. He changes into shorts and a t-shirt while Ayanda is now just in her lingerie and touching up her braids and make-up.

She parades into the bedroom, finding Sakhile on his bed drinking a glass of whiskey. He takes one look at Ayanda and he drops his glass. The glass breaks and whiskey spills.

"I hope you don't plan to break my heart like that", Ayanda seductively says.

"Ayanda -

"Sakhile, just kiss me", Ayanda says now that she is lying on top of him.

She kisses Sakhile.

Sakhile is too shocked to respond. He is still. Ayanda climbs on top of him, now sitting on his erect penis.

"If I'm wrong about our chemistry, I'll put on my dress and leave. I promise you, there'll be no hard feelings. But if I'm not wrong, I need you to show me or I will walk away and never look back", Ayanda says.

"I just don't want you to feel as if I expect this from you. I enjoy spending time with you. I like you a lot. I definitely want to see where this goes. But I am happy to wait for you if you are not ready", Sakhile.

"You are such a gentleman. It's just unfortunate that tonight, I don't want a gentleman. I want my CEO in bed, giving me one hell of a night to remember. You think you can be my beast tonight? Or are you the type that generally requires some motivation?" Ayanda.

Sakhile has flipped her onto her back and is ripping the lingerie off her body. The rest of the evening is...

Well...

Between the two of them and the walls that surround them.

[terrence-silver]

what would 80s silver, compared to old man silver, do if beloved left him ? just for a little while to show him if he makes the same mistake again theyre gone for good.

Leaving Terry in the 80's?

Leaving Terry in any decade?

Said this a hundred times before but I really doubt you can if he doesn't want you to, regardless of the mistakes and missteps that took place --- he is the type to follow someone to the ends of the world and he has the resources and connections to pull it off too. Not to mention the tenacity. Terry Silver doesn't need to be a Billionaire with a worldwide network and near infinite resources to get back what belongs to him when he has so much intact willpower and the penchant of extreme possession. But, of course, money's simply always a plus. Private jetting to where beloved is? Following them? Stalking them? Hiring others to watch them? Bribing officials to detain them at leisure? Sabotaging them to eclipse and curve their movements? Rigging their apartments? Utilizing cameras? Eavesdropping devices? Tampering with their employment prospects, even from afar? Tampering with their finances, their livelihood? Those of their loved ones? Using their close acquittances and friends as fodder for blackmail? Covertly hurting people to get to them. Ensuring nothing and nobody is protected from him? Kidnapping them? Being the shadowy silhouette in the arm chair in the darkness of their living room at night when beloved feels safest and most secure that they've outran him and the danger he imposes and clicking on the light, there Terry is, smiling at them, lit cigar hanging from his mouth? Shark-like grin and all? You really thought you could get away from me, huh? He'd say. Thing is, there's no escape if he doesn't specifically want to give beloved escape as a rare extension of his mercy.

And Terry isn't the most merciful person.

Known fact.

He can dismiss meaningless, disposable token individuals with cold, mercenary leisure and acquire new people and new drones all the same with just as much emotional distance, but when someone truly matters, Terry Silver goes the other extreme. Should he step on and break both of beloved's legs? Is that what they want? To provoke him so he'd literally incapacitate them and ensure they can rely only on him? Those are his legs on his beloved, but if push comes to shove...he can and will damage what belongs to him and then proceed nursing it back to health only if it meant he can keep them dependent and by his side.

Do they want painkillers?

Something to relieve that infamous 'ow'?

They should promise to never run and again. Swear it.

He actually rather relishes them when they're so weak and whimpering.

Terry is ironically infinitely gentle like this, a spider with a precious little fly caught in his web, as he hurts beloved some more, a tender, slow sadist --- measured, in control and calculated, here to punish them and reminder how he felt like when they left him and this is just a molecule of the sensation he too contended with. Don't you know how much he drank? How much coke he snorted up his nose? How finely he bled his fists when you ran? How he sought to train every fibre of weakness out of his system with rigorous training and sweating? Well, now you'll experience it too and you'll understand. You'll experience him.

He loves you.

If he didn't, he wouldn't pursue you and you'd be so terribly and awfully free.

But, you'll never be free again --- not truly.

Is he cruel? Does such a thing even exist in nature?

Is the female of a Black Widow cruel when she devours her mate?

Or is it merely how things ought to be?

Naturally, even if he lets beloved go, on his own terms and conditions, naturally, and I'll the words 'letting go' very loosely and with a million quotation marks, it is simply always the calm before the storm. Terry going into figurative brumation. And his brumation can take weeks, a month, years or even decades --- depends how much he feels he strategically needs it and it can include everything and anything from reinvention, a change in bearing, a change in fashion, a change in company, in lifestyle, in the way he presents himself, in a million masks, but in the end, even if half a lifetime has passed and beloved feels they've long since moved on from the nightmare that is his love and devotion, Terry can always return to get back what has always belonged to him even if everything indicated so far that he has moved on. There is, really, no such thing as moving on from adoration for Terry Silver. Not with love. There is no letting go from actual love. No break ups. No divorces. No annulments. The taint of it never goes away, it merely changes shapes and forms. He'd rather impale both himself and beloved on a sword and die pinned on each other than ever contemplate actually setting them genuinely free.

[thatgirlstrawberry]

The Shape Of You

In which Spencer absolutely praises Y/N's body

Spencer Reid x plus size!fem!reader

Request: Hi!! I saw your Spencer November post and I’m veryyy excited!! Can I request a spencer x plus size fem reader with fluffy body worship🥺💗 - @ready-4-spencie

Warnings: talk of insecurity, Fluff, Spencer being an absolute cutie, mentions of sex, lmk if anything was missed! (This one's also a bit of a shorty)

Spencer and Y/N were getting ready for a big Thanksgiving party at Rossi's mansion. Spencer could smell the aroma of Y/N's pumpkin pie scented candles as he tied his tie in front of the long mirror. He smiled as he heard her voice sing from the bathroom where she was getting ready.

Y/N had never been insecure. She never felt the need to. Not even when she was called fat as she was followed through the halls of her school. She was so glad those days were over. They fucking sucked. Now, she was a successful, beautiful and very happy woman who was with the love of her life.

She was always happy that Spencer never seemed to care that she wasn't as skinny or as tiny as the other women that ogled him wherever they went. In fact, he praised her body. He said he liked the way her thighs move in skinny jeans. He liked the way her thighs felt when his head was in between them. He just loved her body no matter what anyone else said.

"Spencer, can you come zip me up?" Y/N called from the bathroom.

The doctor finished tying his tie and ran his fingers through his hair, knowing Y/N would fix it before they left. He opened the door to the bathroom and she was standing there in a satin floor length y/f/c dress. She looked absolutely stunning. Spencer's feet stayed in the doorway, he felt like he couldn't move. He felt like he could honestly just drop dead.

"Well, what are you standing there for silly? Come zip me up." She said, turning her back to him. Spencer gulped and nodded, slowly walking towards her.

He leaned down and kissed her shoulder and put his fingers on the zipper. "Y/N it's taking everything in me not to rip this off of you right now." He whispered.

The woman's brows furrowed. "What? You don't like it?"

"W- No, Y/N I love it." He stuttered. "I think you look so fucking good, baby." He told her.

Y/N bit her lip. "Y-you don't think my stomach looks a little too... out there?" She asked, lightly brushing her hands over her stomach.

"No, of course not Y/N." He told her. It was true. He literally couldn't find anything bad about this woman. "You look great and I think you should think so too."

Y/N smiled at him. "Are you sure? Because I can totally put a jacket over it or some-"

Spencer cut her off by turning her around and kissing her roughly. "You look so damn good, I'm willing to skip this dinner just so I can fuck you in this dress." He said breathlessly after pulling away. Y/N blushed and bit her lip omce more but this time, teasingly at Spencer.

"Too bad your boss is expecting us." She shrugged with a smirk on her lips.

Spencer rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Fine. But when we get back-"

Y/N nodded, narrowing her eyes with a smile. "Oh, I know, Spence. I know."

--------------------------

Hey you guys! Injust wanted to thank @ready-4-spencie for this awesome request! I hope it's what you wanted!

Also, I wanted to let you know that each and every single one of you are beautiful. There is no need to change yourself or what you look like unless it's what you feel comfortable doing and want to do.

I love you all and happy turkey month!

Taglist: @spngirl05 @shamelessfangirl-3 @simone1234557 @gspenc @bunny-script @percabethfangirl @peppamultifanimagines @measure-in-pain @starbooty @violetflowerswrites @jenny885108-blog @beepbooptoop @spencerr3id @spookydrreid @sydneekomspacekru @spencersmagic

[theleftovertaco]

Petty Rivalry- Fred Weasley x Reader

I got an ask maybe 4 months ago asking me to write a fic where reader and fred are rivals and then they fuck but life's a bitch so I'm just getting to it now. Here u go lol. Made some changes so now the reader is a gryffindor chaser tho.

Warnings: smut, sub!fred, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kiddos)

"Weasley, you cunt!"

"Hey!"

"Not you, George. Sorry!" You shouted above the whooshing noises of the brooms around you. Fred zoomed past you.

"Not my fault you were in the way of a bludger!"

"It literally is your fault! Your job as a beater is to keep us safe, dipshit!"

"Oi! You two. Get your shit together before we lose!" Angelina shouted as she flew past.

You set one more glare Fred's way before flying off. Between bickering, dodging, and passing, Ravenclaw was catching up and close to winning as both seekers raced around the pitch in search for the Golden snitch.

As Potter seemed to spot the small golden ball, he flew past the two of you, and within a few minutes, the game was over.

Angelina pulled you aside after your team had celebrated, shoving a finger in your face.

“You and Fred need to get it together. If you kept arguing you could have distracted the other players and cost us our win.”

You rolled your eyes and batted her hand away.

"He's the one whos always being difficult, not me!"

Angelina scoffed, "You're both arseholes to each other. Get over yourselves. Either learn to cooperate or I'll be looking for a replacement chaser and beater." She turned away and walked off, you trailing frantically behind her.

"Ange!"

"Look," she turned back, "I love you both, but quidditch is important to me, and it could help me get an internship with the Montrose Magpies, I need to secure a win, or at least a well run team."

You paused for a second, then nodded.

"Yeah, alright, I'll talk to him later today after our celebration in the common room."

Angelina seemed to relax at that, clapping you on the shoulder than walking off to join the rest of the team.

You sighed, and made your way to Gryffindor common room.

..........................

Gryffindor's common room raged about with laughter, as food and shots of firewhiskey were shared (no one asked where that came from).

You took a deep breath, and walked quickly over to where Fred was standing.

"Hey."

He glanced over at you in distrust. "Hello?"

"How are you?"

"Fine, why?"

"No reason."

"Great."

"What's great?"

"You can leave me alone now is what's great."

You rolled your eyes.

"Look, Weasley, I was trying to be nice. Work things out so we could both stay on the team together."

"We wouldn't have anything to work out if you would get your head out of your arse for five minutes during our matches."

"Me? You're the one who keeps aiming bludgers at my head, you know you're supposed to aim them away, right? Or at least towards the other team, not someone on your own."

"They wouldn't nearly hit you if you weren't in the way!"

You barked out a laugh, "That's bullshit, I am perfectly fine with my job, or I would be if you weren't out to get me all the damn time!"

By this point, you were both attracting some attention, and Angelina dragged you away while Katie did the same with Fred.

"Both of you, knock it off."

You whipped your head around to look at her, "But I tried to make amends like you said, I even-"

"Leave it alone, plus, there's an issue in the main hallway we need you to come look at."

"Why do you need me?"

Angelina just dragged you further along.

"Ange, what kind of damn issue is so important that, aaGH-" You exclaimed as you were shoved into a closet, and a very tall figure.

"Who the fuck- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ANGE!" You saw Fred's equally pissed off face in the dim light hanging from the top of the closet.

"You two work your shit out, we aren't letting you out until you do."

Fred yelled out in frustration, banging on the door.

"KATIE, ANGIE, LET US OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!"

There was only light giggling in response, and you knew there was no way you were leaving that broom closet any time soon.

You spent the next ten minutes pacing the room, trying to find a way out of the closet.

"Can you stop pacing for five seconds? It's driving me insane."

"I wouldn't have to if you hadn't gotten us locked up in here in the first place!"

"How did I get us here? Last I checked we both hated each other, so they wanted us both in here!"

"I was trying to be nice to you back there! To make amends!"

Fred threw his hands in the air.

"Well look where that got the both of us."

You stood face to face with him, eyes locking.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You asked him.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

You scoffed, "You can't just answer a question with the exact same question."

"Like hell I can. And you never answered!"

"Because I asked you first! I mean I just don't understand why it's so hard for you to just not be a dick." You turned your back and resumed your pacing.

"Y/N, it's not that, it's just-"

"Just what, because I am sick and tired of you acting as if I am the worst thing to ever happen to you, why do you hate me so goddamn much, I mean-"

"I DON'T HATE YOU DAMMIT! I LOVE YOU!"

You paused for a second, and turned back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been attracted to you since second year!"

You took a second to process this information.

"So why are you such an arsehole then? For the past 5 years you have been!”

You rolled you eyes.

“Nope. Absolutely not. Liking me was not an excuse to be a dick. And don’t try some ‘I didn’t know how to express my feelings’ bullshit!”

Fred looked at you shocked.

“But… I told you that I liked you. And now I’m getting the feeling you might like me.”

“Thats… besides the point, and even if I did, that still doesn’t excuse you from being a dick, I only responded to you in the same way you always treated me!”

“Right, and I’m sorry for that, Y/N. Please allow me to make it up to you.”

Fred held you face in his hands, and you fought an instinct to jerk away.

“How the hell do you plan on making up for five years of assholery?”

Suddenly you were shoved back into the wall. Fred dropped to his knees, unbuckling your jeans.

“Please, let me make it up to you.”

He dragged your jeans down.

“Fred, what are you doing!?”

“Say the word, and I’ll stop. Please, let me make it up to you.”

Fred looked up at you with wide eyes, and you paused for a moment before nodding. He resumed, pulling you underwear past your legs, and lifted up one of your legs before diving into you.

“Fred, I- fuck!”

He dragged his tongue along your folds and nosed at your clit.

“Want you. Want your cunt, your lips, your body, please.”

You carded your fingers through his hair, dragging him closer to you.

“Fuck, want you too.”

Fred continued until you pulled him back up by his hair to meet you. You hastily unbuckled his belt and undid his trousers to take out his cock. Spitting in your hand, you ran your hand up and down his dick, causing him to let out a series of curses and moans.

He lifted you up by your thighs, and you placed his cock at your entrance, and Fred let out a whine as he pushed in.

“Fuck, love, you feel good.” He readjusted you in his arms and began fucking up into you, his thrusts making him hit that spot inside you.

“Fuck, Fred!”

The two of you continued for what seemed like forever until Fred hooked an arm under your leg and his hand wrapped around you so he could play with your clit.

“Fred, I’m gonna come.”

“I am too, love.” You felt your orgasm arrive and as you did you clenched down on his cock, causing him to release inside of you.

A few moments passed before he set you down, both of you breathing heavily.

“Your partially forgiven.”

“Partially? I just fucked your brains out, how am I partially forgiven?”

You let out a giggle.

“You take me out on a date, and I’ll consider you forgiven.”

Fred brought you into his arms, and laid a kiss on the top of your head.

“Deal.”

A moment passed, and after you both were dressed and had collected yourselves, you banged on the door to be let out.

“Angie? Kate, we’ve resolved our issues, you can let us out now!”

They opened the door, and as you both left you could hear them snickering.

Angelina shouted out from behind you, “Yeah, we heard you both resolving your issues from the other side of the door.”

Fred threw his head back half in laughter and half in exasperation while you stood there, red faced with your head in your hands.

“Next time, maybe resolve your issues in a bedroom?” Katie practically howled out.

“Shove off, Bell!”