#PLS SAY YES IM ALREADY COLLECTING BLANKETS FOR US

[madaqueue]

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT — you watch hq, and i watch bsd? sounds like a good date plan?

HEA HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT!!!!!! proposition: you come over, i pick up all your favorite snacks, we stay in for a whole weekend and watch BOTH shows together :33 and we can pause and you can tell me all about your faves and i can tell you about mine and we can eat our little treats and fall asleep next to each other on the couch ????? :33333

[starlight-writes-stuff]

camping hc’s w/ the feral boys <3

AYO LOOK AT THESE : implied smut if u look hard enough , but really just some cute , fluffy feral boys content lol . these ended up being really fun to write so let me know if u have any other ideas for more hc’s !! ily , starlight ☁

reblogs are always appreciated !!! <3

all as a group - 

god help us all this would be a MESS

you guys would get one of those massive tents that have separate rooms for everyone

s’mores are a guarantee

alex and clay would light their marshmallows on fire

and chase each other around with them

karl is FOCUSED on getting the perfect golden roast

sapnap keeps nudging him to mess the marshmallow up

george literally has his marshmallow in the fire for .2 seconds

clay would give him so much shit for it and the two of them would “argue”

but george would end up breaking his smore in half for clay

and feeding it to him most likely 

alex would bring his guitar and play it while everyone sat around the fire

sapnap would definitely start singing ‘campfire song’ from spongebob

everyone would pick up

and dissolve into laughter

clay would be the first to bring up telling scary stories

you’d be scared as shit from the words he was crafting

youd sandwich yourself between karl and alex

alex would poke your waist , jumpscaring you

and you’d pout saying you’re going to bed

youd walk into the tent

they would all C O M P L A I N but eventually join you

at least one of them pees on the fire “to make sure its completely out”

george would ‘knock’ on the tent to see if you were dressed

because they’re respectful , your honor

everyone would meet in the main part of the tent with sleeping bags and pillows and blankets

completley abandoning all the separate rooms

you’d all take turns talking about nothing at all really

making stupid jokes

if you fell asleep first , clay and george would make everyone whisper

you need your beauty sleep

they’d all fade pretty fast after that

but karl would wake everyone to watch the sunrise together

dream -

would have the top of the line camping equipment

even if it was for like

a two day trip

he’d go to an outdoor store and come home with an entire car full of camping shit

a portable grill

a blowup mattress

the nicest two person tent money could buy

the full nine yards

would put you in charge of planning meals

which is probably a good idea

has had the campsite booked for months

somewhere by a lake

“clay , we literally live by the ocean”

“it’s not the same , baby”

he’s right , its not

would take a mini road trip to get there

he’d make sure to stop at all the tourist traps along the way

you two would end up with a bunch of fruit from a roadside stand

once you finally got there

the tent would essentially pitch itself

he’d do the car salesman slap on the nylon

“best tent money can buy”

you’d probably take a nap , tired from the drive

by the time clay shook you awake the sun was setting

so he'd fire up his little camping grill

pls he’d geek out so hard over it

you’d be awake from the nap

so clay would light a lantern and the two of you would just 

wander around the campsite holding hands

you two would absolutely go swimming at midnight

clay would pick you up in the water 

and have you wrap your legs around him like a koala

he’d pepper your face with kisses

then dunk you under the water

once you two got out you’d get in pajamas

and clay wouldn’t be able to inflate the air mattress

he forgot the pump

but you brought sleeping bags just incase

you two would fall asleep as close as two people in sleeping bags possibly could

sapnap -

would insist on being the manliest man

like would collect firewood and everything

he’d show off the axe he brought

then would chop the wood

he's gloating smh

and would get 125670 % more overprotective when you wanted to try

would stand behind you and show you how to swing

would guide your arms and everything

but would stand like

10 feet away

when you went to actually swing

spooked by how hard you chopped

but also proud ???

would build a fire as it got dark

and tell you how pretty you looked in the light from the flames

he’d be pretty old school w camping food

would stab a poker through hotdogs

he’d help you roast yours , rotating it so it cooked even

would forget the buns and condiments

“i thought we had everything!”

the two of you would die of laughter

just eating ur hotdogs

off of the pokers

however

would remember a stash of candy and snacks

so you end up eating those too

nick would have the tent up in less than five minutes

“fastest tent pitcher on this side of the mississip” 😎

would bring it up 13790 times

he would find a way to zip your sleeping bags up together so it's one big franken-bag

he’s so warm

keeps you toasty

George -

camping was most likely your idea

but gogs is all for it

gets really excited and buys a two person sleeping bag

“so we can still cuddle”

you’d bring all your camping equipment so you had a pad to sleep on

“sleeping on the ground hurts , baby”

“isn't that the whole point ?”

would have his hand on your thigh as he drove to the campsite

and would play loud music the whole way there

with all the windows down

you two would set up camp while it was still light

both struggling™

to get the tent up

it would take y’all like an hour

and both of you would be all sweaty after wrestling with it

so george would change into swimming trunks and wait on you to put on a bathing suit

then he would piggyback you to the lake

running straight into the cold water while you scREAMED

you’d smack him so he’d let you down

then you’d splash him

a splash war would ensue

george would grab your hands , threading them through his

“be nice to me >:,(“

you’d get all soft and wrap your arms around him

the two of you would swim for h o u r s

until someone got hungry

you’d show gogs how to make a campfire

he’d knock over your demonstration

“i want to try”

would nail it on the first shot

you'd be baffled but entirely impressed

after dinner he would show off the oversized sleeping bag

you two would get in together , legs tangled

would probably download movies on his phone beforehand for you guys to watch

he’d fall asleep first , lulled to bed by the sounds of outside

Karl -

loves camping so much

just loves outside in general

would already have a bunch of gear

but would insist on finding a way for you two to be able to sleep together

we all know this boys love language is touch

even in his sleep he needs some sort of skin to skin contact

would buy a camping bed

i feel like karl would want to make “real camping food”

so he’d do hotdogs

and those foil packet thingies with potatoes and corn

he’d show you how to seal they foil and bury it in the coals properly

would scrunch his nose at you while you messed the wrapping up on purpose

“let me do it for you , baby”

would proceed to do it for you

he’d take 100000000000 pictures of you 

in the sunset lighting

the campfire lighting

the moon lighting

because he cant help how beautiful you look

would feed you bites of vegetable in between your hot dog

“are you staying hydrated?”

brought juice boxes , too

he’d set up a place for you guys to stargaze

and would point out all the constellations

yall would make up your own too , giving them full backstories

he’d slow dance with you under the moon until it got too cold to be outside

the two of you would … take advantage of the camping bed

crossing ‘outside’ off the bucket list 😌

by day 3 he was tired of his traditional camping food

would beg you for some of your snacks

you’d feed him oreos and fruit snacks while you guys hiked

Quackity -

was not down™

at first

but once he saw how excited you were 

he would be all in

would go to a camping store with you and pick out equipment

alex would insist on getting the stereotypical camping cookware

“we have to !!!”

“no we dont???”

“yes we do 😤”

would refuse to sleep on the ground

buys one of those camping pad things

would buy a two person sleeping bag as well

“if im doing this im at LEAST sleeping next to you”

you’d beg him to bring his guitar and play it at the campfire

he’d sing you soft songs while you toasted marshmallows

and you’d feed him s’mores

but you two would end up just eating the chocolate bars instead

he’d bring some sort of card game

and you two would get way too competitive

probaby uno

you’d be screaming at each other at like 1 am

“yOU DIDN’T SAY UNO”

would get a noise complaint

but alex does not care

not one bit

would make a joke about you screaming his name instead

ends up loving falling asleep to the sounds of nature

somehow finds his way into being little spoon

you two fall asleep holding each other

and wake up a tangled mess

begs you to stay another night

because he actually likes being away from it all

and getting uninterrupted one-on-one time with his girl

next time you guys get a free weekend , he’s the one who suggests camping

because he loved it so much

[balenciagastones]

hi im kinda new to this can you pls explain to me why everybody hates lauryn? all i know is she wants kyle to be a dad and he isn't

here we go! putting this under the cut so i don’t flood people’s dash who don’t care <3

okay so bit of backstory first cos im gonna try and do this in chronological order, she is chloe goodman’s sister and she used to go out with marcus rashford’s brother, apart from that she was pretty much a nobody. i also dk how much you know about kyle but basically he’s been with annie for agessss and they have 3 sons together. at the start of 2020 it came out that lauryn was pregnant with a mystery england footballer’s baby and it was kept a secret who it was for ages and just said that they were in a whirlwind romance and the baby was a miracle because she has endometriosis and pos meaning she would struggle to conceive naturally. it was outed cos of pap photos that have been said were staged by her, pretty much the whole of this has been staged by her tbh but it was later announced that the baby daddy was kyle walker and all hell broke loose tbh.

all throughout her pregnancy and a bit after the baby was born she wouldn’t reveal the gender but constantly baited it and hyped it up and drew a lot of attention to the baby’s gender (a little bit of backstory to this is that annie obviously has 3 boys as we said before but she always always wanted a girl and has always been v public with that fact, she also had a miscarriage which wasn’t talked about until after the baby was born but hindsight makes this whole gender situation worse but back to the story). her sister was also pregnant at the same time as her and was public saying she was having a girl so lauryn used to post stories with girls’ baby clothes and pink things in basically to just bait she was having a girl when she knew all along it was a boy, there’s literally no reason for this apart from her wanting to spite annie and imply that she was having a girl baby with the man she loved to hurt her for no reason.

cut forward to when the baby is born and she starts to promote these bracelets which have different ones for different situations, so she has one for anxiety, one for sleep, one for fertility (you can see where this is going) and there’s a few points with these scam bracelets. first off she came out and said she was wearing one at the time she slept with kyle so this baby perhaps wasn’t so much an accident on her part as she was manifesting fertility and that she’d become pregnant basically, take from that what you will but it was clearly her intention to fall pregnant with his baby when she knew he was with another woman long term and had 3 little boys with her. and the second part to it is just what an absolute scam those bracelets are, they’re not cheap and they target vulnerable groups of people and profit off their struggles which is obviously so immoral and disgusting when a fuckin bead bracelet clearly can’t make you fertile or make you sleep better or any of this shit, it’s taking advantage of people in desperate need and taking money from vulnerable people, it’s awful.

so now the baby is born and she’s said it’s a boy but hasn’t announced the name and allegedly didn’t pick the name until he was 4 months old or something, but she decides that they need a name to call him so decide to say his name is junior. now you can immediately see the issue with this, she’s been banging on for the whole of her pregnancy that she’s a single mother and he’s not involved blah blah blah then calls him junior, which ofc people asked if the name was kyle junior and she as much as said it was and started referring to him as junior until she posted a video of the baby holding a necklace that said KW. obviously calling your baby junior implies that they have the dad’s name and are the jr version of the dad so when she posted the KW necklace alongside a caption that said ‘for those asking why it doesn’t say JW, KW are his true initials’ ofc everybody assumed his name was kyle walker junior, and she let this go on for 6 MONTHS. she wore this necklace that says KW everywhere it’s lit in all of her instagram photos, it literally came across as a trophy just shouting that she got knocked up by kyle walker and just using it as a constant reminder to anyone and everyone that her baby was half famous footballer kyle walkers regardless of whether he was involved or not, baring in mind in the same breath she’s continuing to go on about how she’s a single mother and doing it all on her own. her saying she’s doing it all on her own is a load of shit too because her family helps her constantly and she always has someone looking after him with her and she lives in a big fancy house so she’s putting across she’s struggling and a single mother out on her own but that’s not the truth.

she also kept giving questionable parenting advice out on her story and endorsing products and methods that weren’t the most effective and weren’t recommended, even a blanket method that im sure was said to be harmful and she’s promoted many products that she shouldn’t have just in the name of money and fame and clout, she isn’t qualified to be giving out parenting advice to the scale she is and i understand she’s gotten experience but she talks like she’s a professional and holds q&as giving advice she’s not qualified to give and considering she promotes half dodgy products, it’s not the best situation. two more random things before we’re caught up to what’s happened today, she put the baby in a city jersey then the next week put him in a liverpool jersey just to spite kyle LMAO and they all went on holiday to dubai and im pretty sure paparazzi isnt allowed in dubai that’s why all the celebs go there but she was papped there so she must’ve set that up too lmaoooooo. but now we’re at today.

basically it started by kyle posting a picture of his own personal football boots that he played in for the final match of the season im sure, and he had printed on the names and dates of birth of all 3 kids he had with annie, and as you can quite imagine, lauryn wasn’t very happy with this. so she went straight on her stories preaching how horrific it was that he didn’t include kairo’s name on his boots and he’s done nothing but he cute and innocent and kyle was ‘bullying’ his own son which is obvs the wrong word to use but she’s daft and has been throwing around the word bullying, and talking about how she won’t let their son be left out, baring in mind she constantly says how she’s a single mother and prides herself on that she doesn’t have him involved and that he’s a horrible person etc etc. so all of her little minions who love her started replying to her story saying he was disgusting blah blah blah and decided as a collective with her encouragement to spam his page with kairo’s name and demand justice for kairo or something so after he got a few comments he turned the comments off from the post about the boots so they went to his first post before the boots which was a memorial post for the victims of the manchester arena attack. fully grown women commenting on a memorial post for such a tragic event demanding to know where kairos name was or spamming his name letter by letter, first off it’s just batshit crazy but second off how disrespectful?? from lauryn as well to encourage it and think of nobody but herself and want the attention because realistically it wasn’t gonna achieve anything but slightly irk him that he had to turn the comments off.

she’s also been encouraging people to email puma themselves and demand to know why they did it as if they had any input on what kyle had on his personal boots, puma probably had no idea about any of this and certainly didn’t do it on purpose to cause a storm so there’s no reason for them to be complaining to puma. she posted a list of what she wanted to happen including kyles post to be removed, the boots to be pulled (i don’t think she realises they were just personal boots for kyle and not a product for the general public to buy), a public apology to kairo and a public statement to be put out, none of which would solve the greater situation or help the situation that’s already been caused.

she posted saying kyle was bullying the baby and mentally abusing him which is disgusting to be throwing around when that’s not the case at all cos in reality kyles just trying to mend his relationships with annie and his family while keeping lauryn and the baby out of it like she keeps going on about, but then when it comes down to it she uses his surname, posts about it 24/7, wants his name on his boots, uses him for clout, walks around with a KW necklace on etc etc etc. most recently she’s created a petition to get pumas attention to do all of what i listed before and i think about 600 people have signed it so far.

i think that’s all although im sure anons will chip in if ive missed anything, that’s if anybody’s actually read this far 😭 so yes, more than you bargained for probably anon! story time with han! xx

[isakvaltersmut]

(1/2)What if omega!Isak has an owner before Even, and he wasn’t really treated well. His owner didn’t allow Isak to nest and talked down to Isak a lot. Eventually, the owner decides to buy a new omega and Isak is sold to Even. Isak believed it was kinda his fault that his previous owner treated him wrong, so he tries to be really good for Even and never complains or asks for anything.

(2/2)Even def isn’t having it and spoils Isak as much as he can. When Even offers Isak a few blankets to nest, Isak cries because he hasn’t nested before.

Why am i crying in the club right now holy fuck??? im sitting here with tears in my eyes how dare you?? but also can you write some fics pls i’ll love you forever afgdhfg

TW: kinda slaver sorta

But yeah. Isak had an owner for a little over a year, and he really tried to do good, he did, but his owner never seemed to like anything Isak did. He wasn’t standing up straight, he cried too much during his heats, the house wasn’t clean enough, he didn’t look pretty enough whenever there was a party or his owner had guests over. And his owner made it all very clear, he never stayed quiet when he wanted to tell Isak that he was doing something wrong, and he didn’t stay quiet the second Isak tried to nest with something, anything. The owner didn’t give him any blankets or any pillows, and Isak just needed to nest, he needed to feel comfortable and safe, so he started to collect clothes and towels and anything he could find, but his owner didn��t want that mess on his bed. He said it was too much of a hassle, so he forbade it straight away, and immediately Isak’s eyes filled with tears, which he was reprimanded for as well, but he didn’t cry. He simply resisted the urge to nest and tried to be good as hard as he could, but one day his owner seemed to get tired of him, so he cursed and rolled his eyes and grabbed Isak’s arm and dragged him off to the agency where he left Isak and picked up another Omega, one that smiled and had pretty eyes, and Isak desperately tried to think about what he had done. He cried himself to sleep every night, wrapping his arms around himself and trying to imitate the feeling of someone else holding him, but it wasn’t the same. Eventually, he stopped giving himself that small comfort too, he knew he was a bad omega, he didn’t deserve it.

He knows that he had fucked up, he was probably too whiny, his owner probably didn’t like the times he asked for some chocolate or some candles or nuzzled in close to him in bed in hopes of feeling his arms around him, so he doesn’t think anyone will want him, he doesn’t think he deserves to be wanted. But then one day, a tall alpha comes through the door, and a leash is attached to his pretty collar and he’s lead to the car. 

He’s shaking through the whole ordeal, desperately trying to calm down and sit in the far corner of the car, away from his owner, knowing that his touch wasn’t wanted or needed, he had no idea that Even simply didn’t want to frighten the poor thing, he didn’t want to touch him when he was clearly so shy and scared, even though he desperately wanted to wrap his arms around him and not let go.

They get in the flat and straight away Even takes the leash off, putting his hand on Isak’s back and leading him through the flat to the living room, holding Isak’s back in his other hand. And he can feel Isak shivering beneath his palm so he quickly moves it away out of fear that Isak doesn’t feel comfortable, but all Isak can think about is how he wishes the firm pressure and warmth of Even’s hand would come back. It’s been so long since anyone had touched him, but he hasn’t earned it yet. Maybe he had done something wrong. He straightens his back quickly, turning towards Even, his head still bowed, and waits for his instructions, hoping his master will forgive him for whatever it is that he did that made him retract his hand.

“Are you hungry?”

Isak shakes his head, his nails digging into his forearms as he tries not to speak. He wasn’t told he was allowed to, he will not say a word.

Everything is silent for a little while, but then Even puts Isak’s bag on the floor next to the couch.

“Have you eaten today?” 

Isak nods quickly, he doesn’t want to hesitate, he doesn’t want to make the alpha mad by making him wait for an answer.

He can hear his master hum, making shivers run down his spine as he stares down at the floor.

“Do you want some chocolate then?”

Isak almost gasps, desperately wanting to let his omega display its emotions freely, but he couldn’t. He knew his master was being far too kind to him offering him one of the things all omegas had a weakness for.

He wanted to say something, to give a verbal answer, but he still wasn’t allowed, and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to say yes and seem greedy, but he wanted it so badly, he wanted to say yes.

“You can speak, Isak,” His master’s voice was heard, making him tense slightly when he realized he took too long. His owner wouldn’t be happy with that, he fucked up already.

“It’s okay, Sir, you don’t have to give me anything.”

He heard footsteps approaching him, his head stayed lowered until his master placed his thumb and forefinger on his chin, tilting his head back, but he still didn’t look at him, he wasn’t allowed to.

The owner dropped his hand, and Isak kept his head in that position, he couldn’t move it.

“Isak, it’s okay, I want to give you whatever you want. Do you want some?”

Isak took in a deep breath, nodding softly.

“Yes, Sir.”

After that Isak stayed the same. He tried so, so hard. He knew his owner was far too nice to him, so he knew he was doing something right, and he remained the same, and within the week he was there he had gotten more food and more affection than he ever had before. Even though the affection was usually a hand on his back or the back of his neck, his owner never asked for more, he even allowed him to sleep in the guest room so that he didn’t feel pressured into doing anything.

But after a few days, Isak was in the living room, he was sitting down and waiting for his owner to come back and put a movie on. Isak loved these moments, he was so rarely allowed to indulge and watch a movie before, there were far too many other things to do so he simply couldn’t, and his master wouldn’t allow it regardless, he thought it would fill his weak little omega mind with silly ideas about grandiose events and adventure. But his current owner allowed it, encouraged it even. 

So, Isak was on the couch, waiting like a good pet, when he looked to the side, seeing the softest, fluffiest blanket he had ever seen. It looked so incredibly soft, he could practically imagine wrapping himself up in it in a nest. Before he knew it he was reaching out to touch it, fingertips grazing over it so gently, and suddenly his master was back in the room, and Isak’s eyes shot over to him, and he knew that he was caught touching what wasn’t his. 

Straight away he dropped from the couch down onto the floor, hands in his lap and head facing down.

“I’m sorry, Sir, I didn’t mean to, I will never do it again, I promise.”

He could hear his rapid breathing, and he knew he was going to be punished, he only hoped his master would use his hand instead of the paddle and whips which his old owner used.

But then there was a hand on his cheek, a gentle hand, and he let out a breath, desperately trying not to lean towards the warmth and comfort.

“It’s okay, Isak. Do you like the blanket?”

Isak let out a shaky breath before nodding.

“Yes, Sir.”

He heard his owner hum, and suddenly he was being pulled up on the couch. He still wasn’t looking at what was happening, petrified with fear and regret, but suddenly he was being enveloped in something else. 

He frowned and looked to the side, and he saw the soft grey material he was touching merely moments ago was now wrapped around his shoulders, and his owner was suddenly stepping away, simply turning the movie on as Isak sat there in shock.

“You can sit back and relax, you’ll love the movie, don’t worry.”

It took a while for Isak to calm down, to realize that he was allowed to let his breathing even out, and he sunk back onto the couch, but he still didn’t dare touch the blanket. But in the middle of the movie, his mind wasn’t focused, and his hands gripped the blanket and he wrapped himself in it, letting out a small whimper that he didn’t even know he was letting out, but Even knew. He watched as the omega gripped the blanket and buried himself in it, closing his eyes for a moment and letting out a moan of pleasure, and Even smiled at the sight. 

It didn’t take long for Isak to relax completely and for Even to hear the most wonderful purr coming from beside him, and he looked at Isak properly and noticed the boy was asleep. He smiled and quickly turned the film off, getting up and picking the omega up in his arms, almost wanting to carry him to his own room so he could hold him through the night, but he knew the omega was fragile, he couldn’t do that to him. So he took him to the guest room, placing him on the bed and pulling the covers over him, the blanket still around him. He leaned over slowly, brushing his hair away from his face before he went to bed.

The next day Isak woke up late, shooting up in bed before he rushed into the living room, and when he got there his owner was already awake, making ice fill his veins as he took his submissive position and hoped that he wouldn’t get punished.

“I-I’m sorry for oversleeping, Sir.”

But his owner didn’t do anything, he simply smiled and waved it off from where he sat on the couch, but suddenly he stood up.

“I have something for you.”

Isak’s cheeks flushed, he got something for him? He never got any presents, his old owner wouldn’t dare to get him anything.

There was a hand on the back of his neck once again, making him blush even more as he was lead to his room.

“Wait here.”

He stood where he was left, patiently waiting for his owner to come back, and when he did there was a big box in his hands which he handed over to Isak.

Isak stared at it for a few moments, blinking in confusion as he tried to think about what it could possibly be.

“Well, open it.”

Isak quickly walked over to the bed, placing the box down and removing the lid, and he couldn’t contain the gasp that left his lips. 

His hands dove into the box, taking out the softest blankets he had ever touched, he couldn’t get enough of them, he kept running his hands through them, and then he looked over to his owner, tears in his eyes.

“Do you like them?”

His owner almost sounded bashful, nervous, but he needn’t be.

Isak nodded quickly, “Yes, Sir, I-you didn’t need to get me these, they are so beautiful.”

“You deserve it, you should have things to nest with. I’ll get you some more in the afternoon, you can come with me and pick whatever you want. Maybe we could get you some candles too, and some pillows.”

Isak chirped at the words, looking at his master and trying to stop himself from running over and wrapping his arms around him, but he couldn’t. Before he knew it he was putting the blankets down and rushing over, wrapping his arms around a slim waist and pushing his face into a firm chest. There was a moment of stillness, but then he was being enveloped into a hug, his owner placing his cheek on the top of his head as he let out the strongest purr yet.

When they separated his owner looked at him for a few seconds before tilting his head towards the gift.

“Why don’t you go make yourself a nest and I’ll get you some food?”

Isak practically ran to the bed, letting out soft little chirps as he moved the blankets, giggling and smiling as he placed them on the bed as Even watched him, a smile tugging on his lips. And he knew that he would buy every blanket in the world if it got that reaction out of him.

[7dys]

roomies?

hey again im a dummy sorry

I literally could NOT think of a title im sorry here's a good ole roommate au though

request: HHhHhHhh u write so well I'm crying :(( jshsd can I get a roommate!au with jae from day6 ? with a possible fluff at the end ? eye emoji ? sjdshd tysm !! -anon

word count: 5137 she's a doozy

a/n: I must have gotten this request like... a year and a half ago at least anon if you’re seeing this I apologize but I've finally done it!!! hope u all enjoy the workings of my crackhead brain

right-o lets get to it

okay so when you moved out of your dorms after graduation you weren’t expecting it to be this God Damn Expensive

on top of buying groceries and affording your tiny ass one bedroom a girlie was struggling

so !! you decided to look into finding a roommate

obviously not to move in with you…. there’s only one bedroom okay

but like searching for an open spot with someone

you found a few that seemed nice but were all wayyyyyyy too far from your job like you would be losing money paying so much in transportation

finally you stumbled across the most cursed roommate flyer ever

but it was in a super convenient location !! so you read it anyways

it was written in GREEN and PURPLE comic sans and there were multiple pictures of chickens and cheesy memes randomly placed around the text in the middle

which by the way was a list of 7 bullet points that said this:

1:my name is jae

2:i am broke

3:i have an extra room waiting for /YOU/

4:i am in a band and will write a song about you if that’s what it takes

5:i am unreasonably good at untangling headphones and i will untangle things for you

6:i have a pet cat and if you don’t like that walk away from this flyer immediately

7:please

and then at the bottom was an octopus who’s 8 legs had his contact information on it and they were cut so you could just pull off a slip

if you were an ordinary person you would not have taken one

lucky us !!!! you’re just crazy

and you take one of the god damn octopus legs

you are understandably the only person who has taken one so far

you giggle to yourself at your own SHEER STUPIDITY and then send a text to the number

you: hi !! i saw ur ad abt looking for a roommate and i’m interested! my name is y/n and i’m still in college so u don’t have to worry about me being like . crazy im just stressed

chicken guy??: oh my god really it’s been a month since i put up that poster!! also mood

you: you put up …. only one poster …… and it was that ……

chicken guy??: it worked for u didn’t it

you: . touché

chicken guy??: anyways you can come by later today and check it out if you’d like? i swear i’m not crazy either but feel free to bring a friend if you’re worried for safety reasons or whatever

you: nah i prefer to live life on The Edge plus none of my friends would be helpful in a life threatening situation

chicken guy??: i don’t know u but i’m already worried for u pls get here soon

hehehe u liked this guy

he was funny if anything

and you tended to find all the weirdos of society and befriend them so it was safe to assume he was no different than your usual crowd

true to your word you go to the address he sent you alone later that afternoon and cheerily knock on the door

while you wait for him to answer you survey the outside

it’s honestly ….. kind of a cluttered mess but in a cute way

like some sort of kleptomaniac crow somehow got an apartment and displayed all of the strange things it found

except it’s all music related

there is a jar that is filled to the BRIM with guitar picks.

who needs that many guitar picks

“me, i do”

you squeak and turn around and go

“??????”

and the tall thin man in the door just nods

“i knew what you were thinking”

“...that’s fair”

and then he seems to remember what exactly is going on and extends one long fingered hand for a shake

“hi! you must be y/n :)) i’m jae”

you take his hand …. that shits warm

how long have you been outside that your hand is so cold when you touch him you SHIVER

he’s like oh my god come in please you’re shivering jesus christ

and you just smile and tell him it’s nice to meet him !!! what a positive polly

you come in and are pleasantly surprised that the inside has just as much personality as the poster !!

and thankfully less green and purple and ….. comic sans

you are immediately greeted by the largest tabby cat you’ve ever seen

“ah that’s my big boy mister crackers”

“his name … is mister crackers”

“....yes”

“love it. tell me more”

he smiles so BIG and WIDE when you say that you think you’re looking at the sun

as he explains more things about the apartment and points at things here and there you half listen and half just. watch him

you didn’t know what to expect from that as but it’s fair to say you lucked out as far as possible roommates go

he was tall and had shiny dark hair and glasses that made his cute little eyes even littler

and he was in a BAND that is so cool

plus he’s like …. pretty or smth

smh FOCUS

you’re gnna have to share a bathroom with him which is … scary but you looked in there and it looks clean at least

also there’s some candles in there

……. he definitely takes candlelit baths like a widow just returning from her rich husbands funeral after he left her everything in the will

king

he seems nice and funny and you appear to have a similar sense of humor …. you’re in

you’re about to tell him you’ll think about it so that you don’t come off as too excited

but then change your mind and jump up and down and tell him you’re IN and you’ll help cover the rent and cook sometimes and bake him cookies and

he stops you after cookies with a hand over your mouth

“you are perfect. please move in immediately”

you smile under his hand and hope he can’t feel your cheeks getting absolutely BLAZING hot

(he 100% can)

((and he thinks it’s really CUTE))

you grab the hand that’s over your mouth and give it a shake and tell him in a southern accent that it’s a deal pardner and he SNORTS

it was cute

you move in as quickly as possible and his band mates come over to help you move everything !!

you’re high key embarrassed to let all these literally gorgeous men into your tiny little apartment and touch all your stuff

but after talking to each of them for like 5 seconds you quickly see they’re all a bunch of nerds and you would trust them with your life

wonpil loses his MIND when he sees your little plushy collection on your bed he thinks you’re the cutest person on the whole planet

he tells jae that’s he’s the luckiest man on earth when he thinks you’re not listening

you ARE though and you stop what you’re doing to give him a big ol hug and tell him he’s an angel

sungjin disapproves of how you’ve been living and asks if you’ve been eating enough and then turns on jae with a finger like U BETTER FEED HER

brian is so intimidatingly beautiful you can’t look him in the eye until you’re all eating ramen and you watch him choke to near death and then immediately go make himself another cup

relatable

dowoon looked lost and you immediately took him under your wing and you’ve been babying him ever since

you made jae take the box full of your plates and mugs and such bc it was too heavy for your Little Angel

“please y/n i am literally the strongest of all of us let me carry things. jae is going to keel over and die”

“nonsense !!! you’re a growing boy you need rest”

“please i literally punched a HOLE in a WALL on ACCIDENT and jae has a grass allergy i promise i will be fine”

regardless of the absolute struggle it was to coordinate everyone and get all your stuff to jae’s you are FINALLY moved in

your room is obviously not the master but you weren’t gonna be like Sorry Jae I Need The Master Bedroom Move Out Xoxo

it’s cute and you brought your own furniture and some posters and decor that you had all over your old apartment

basically you just condensed it all into one room

and the boys gave you a housewarming present and it was just a picture of them performing with you badly photoshopped next to jae playing the triangle

it wasn’t even framed they just taped it to the wall

typical

after all the moving in the boys leave you and jae to settle in but the moving was TIRING so

you’re already asleep on the couch

……….typical

jae just shakes his head and covers you with one of his large sweatshirts because for some reason he only owns one blanket and it’s on his bed and he doesn’t know where yours are

he’s literally HELPLESS

you wake up with a dry mouth at 3 in the morning and smile at jaes sweater barely covering your curled up body

you hold it up and it says “i like ugly” in tiny font .

this boy is perfect

you put it on and climb in your actual bed and decide to make him breakfast tomorrow for being such an angel

you set an ALARM that’s commitment if i’ve ever seen it

you make him pancakes and and coffee and when he comes out wearing a sweatshirt similar to the one you’re wearing and the rattiest sweatpants you’ve ever seen he doesn’t even notice anything at first

nd then he rubs his eyes and just stares

“y/n i’m gonna cry i haven’t had breakfast since 2008”

you laugh and launch yourself at him because he’s That cute

“you’re so cute thank you for letting me be your roommate !!!!”

he ruffles your hair and then sets his chin on top of your head

“thanks for breakfast, sunshine. even if this is also as early as i’ve been awake since 2008”

you pinch his side at that and then go to serve him a heaping pile of pancakes bc he’s skinny and he needs it

“alright noodle eat up!!”

“did you just call me noodle?”

“yes, look at yourself”

“.. that’s fair”

you guys chat over breakfast and thank GOD it’s a sunday and neither of you have shit to do

other than laundry

you force yourself not to mom him when he just puts it all in one machine and sets it on cold and leaves .

it hurts tho

instead of being productive while you wait you have multiple staring contests

jae keeps accusing you of saying he blinked when he didn’t

“i didn’t blink my eyes just look like that !!!! they are small and asian are you racist or something??”

“shut UP i won >:((((“

after the laundry is done you go your separate ways and jae heads out to band practice and it’s your very first time …

alone in your own apartment

naturally you take off your pants and dance around for at least 10 minutes

you didn’t even realize that since your roommate is a dude you can’t just ….. not wear pants

a travesty !!!

honestly let him try to stop you from going braless though. let him try.

you laze around and try to get caught up on your favorite shows and organize your room and then it gets late and you decide you’re going to make a MEAL for dinner

like a WHOLE . MEAL.

we’re going all out

you tie your hair up and put on your cooking sweater which is just a disgusting old sweatshirt covered with stains that hangs almost to the middle of your thighs

everyone needs one

next step is MUSIC because if you cook without it you just feel sad

we’re pulling out the oldies mix that’s right

i’m talking ELO, reo speedwagon, the doobie brothers we’re getting DOWN !!!!!

perhaps we’ll sprinkle some queen in there in honor of the movie that just came out

regardless you’re head banging while you chop vegetables

extremely unsafe but entirely necessary

jae comes home in the middle of your dramatic rendition of bohemian rhapsody where you attempt to sing every single part including the operatic harmonies

you are literally on your knees singing dramatically when the door opens and he comes out of the foyer to see YOU on the FLOOR wearing NO PANTS and singing QUEEN

you may just be ……. the most perfect woman he’s ever met in his life

he joins you because what the fuck else is he supposed to do

he comes in on the high GALILEO and then air guitars THE FUCK out of the next part while you literally thrash

i’m telling you it was one of the most taxing things you’ve ever done

you finish out the song and then fist bump for respect

“something smells good but also something smells burning”

and you scream because OH NO THE GARLIC BREAD

((it’s not even that burnt jae is just weird about smells …… grass allergy headass))

after the fake crisis is averted you finish up and the both of you FEAST while watching cheesy christmas movies and booing at love

you’re both . that bitter huh

also want to note that at some point you discreetly put sleep shorts on so you could pretend you hadn’t been pantless and possibly flashing your day of the week underwear to your roommate of like 36 hours

and when you’re literally seconds away from sleep jae boops you on the nose

like . kinda hard

“hey go to sleep this couch is not comfortable i promise”

“shut up you’re BONEY everything is uncomfortable for you”

“okay now you’re just being mean get your ass in bed”

“sorryyy :((((“

“yea yea go away weirdo”

you tell him goodnight and hug him extra tight in apology and he pats your head so like. all is forgiven hehe

that night when you flop in bed and wrap yourself around one of your pillows you’re pretty damn pleased with your roommate choice

time skip you and jae have almost 0 boundaries other than the necessary ones that keep you Platonic Friends and not Married Couple

which is basically just any affection beyond hugs nd the occasional snuggle

you heard me

the boys are in your apartment . all the time

literally all the time

and wonpil drunk cries to your stuffed animals about never finding love

PLEASE someone save him please

nights like those you and jae go full parent mode because everyone’s drunk so sungjin can’t do it himself

he’s too busy literally breakdancing in your living room

he moved the coffee table out of the way and everything

after everyone is put in beds (dowoon gets to deal with wonpil‘s cry snuggling … sorry)

you and jae always collapse on the couch actually exhausted because you both have weak cardiovascular health and you just carried four full grown men

you end up leaned up against each other for support and then sagging until one of you falls over onto their back and the other just follows

it varies which one of you ends up the big spoon and it’s so CUTE when you do

you think jae pushes you over a little because he likes it too but he would rather die than admit he likes being snuggled so

you’ll fall over onto your back and jae will pretend to be surprised but then wriggle up your body until he’s half on top of you and half on the side with his head resting just under your chin

his hair is FLUFFY and it TICKLES you so you have to move it so you can sleep !

that’s what you tell yourself when you comb his hair down with your fingers

you pretend not to hear him sigh and feel it against the skin of your neck

you also pretend he hasn’t wrapped both arms around your rib cage like a vice and is not letting go anytime soon

cutie :(

he tucks his forehead into your neck and you physically feel his whole body relax and wow . so this is what peace is like

of course it lasts for 5 whole seconds before wonpil let’s out an actual wail and dowoon is urgently whispering shut the fuck up PLEASE SHUT UP

jae snorts against your neck and gives a minute shake of his head, splaying his hand across your ribs and tugging you farther into his hold

first of all. that ticKLES and it takes every shred of self control not to squirm

second: at this point he’s practically trying to fuse your bodies together really you cannot physically get closer than you are

you’re absolutely enjoying it though so you wrap your arms around him and settle in with one leg flopped over his and a blanket you pulled off the floor haphazardly thrown over the two of you

he’s such a SNUGGLE BUG you can barely believe it

he just loves to pretend he’s some angsty lonely dude who plays guitar and SKATEBOARDS like the giant cliche he is

when actually he is a Big Baby

he texts you to calculate the tip for him whenever he’s out to eat with the boys because he “swore off math in 2014”

he asks you if his outfits are okay nd he always looks like an old man but you still tell him it’s good

you think so at least <33

you can read each other so well it’s scary

you’ll walk in the living room and jae will be like NOPE i’m leaving

and you’re like what :(((((((

and he’s like i just KNOW you’re about to yell about random shit we both personally have no control over and it gives me ~anxiety~

“okay well i was just gonna say that global warming is a real proble-“

“LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU”

(he thinks global warming is real he just. doesn’t want to talk abt it bc he knows you will Never Shut Up once you start)

you hand him coffee on his way out in the mornings when you know he has a long day ahead and he pats you on the head in thanks every time

jae cooks for you too !!! we love equality

he sticks to pretty simple stuff but he was living alone for a while so he had to know at least a little so he could like. survive

and believe it or not the both of you are not always sunshine and daffodils

when you’re upset he always knows and makes sure to be there if you need anything but basically just leave you alone

he has a tendency to misread the situation and think it’s still cool for him to joke around but you are Actually Angry

and it’s gotten him into lots of trouble so instead he is supportive from afar and does his best to be not offensive

when he’s upset he’s usually super mopey and writes sad song lyrics all day

you forcefully drag him out of his room to make sure he eats and do your best to cheer him up by whatever means necessary

you’ve embarrassed yourself just to hear that laugh of his

the one where he opens his mouth really wide and gasps a little and his eyes squeeze shut

……… fuckin cute

anyways you guys are just dating already but don’t even realize

until one of your coworkers asks you to come out after work and you say no

and it’d be Friendly and Normal if you did it because you promised jae you would cook that night

or you had made plans with him or something

but you were just uncomfortable doing any of that kind of stuff with some Not Jae guy

and after that your eyes are ~wide open~ sister

you find yourself giggling a little too long when he jokes around with you

you can’t help it okay his presence is like a RUSH of serotonin

and imagining yourself doing couple things with jae

turning your usual dinner outings into dates in your head where he holds your hand as he drives and sits next to you in the booth so he can sling a long arm around your shoulders

you let yourself become the slightest bit more affectionate

tucking yourself under his chin every night before you split to your separate rooms

tugging on his hand to get his attention and then playing with his long fingers

you know he notices because god damn how could he not notice ??

he has literally bad vision but he can read the signs

This Ain’t His First Rodeo

he is hesitant to become involved with someone he depends on so much

the age old dilemma of wanting someone but then being afraid to lose them because of it

he wouldn’t admit it but you were quite literally the light of his life

he had been so lonely in his apartment before, living off of instant ramen simply because he didn’t want to cook anything and holing up in his room writing about loneliness and being lost

then you showed up with your bright eyes and took every weird quirk of his in stride and nagged him about eating better and washing his clothes “properly”

(he thinks when you say “properly” you just mean your own way but that’s besides the point)

he even liked when you would take his glasses and wear them and do terrible impressions of him because you looked so CUTE in them

he thinks you’d look cute in all of his belongings but again

are the both of you ready to cross that line?

of course u are lol what else am i supposed to write about

fourth wall break: over

okay so wonpil keeps coming over when he knows jae is gone to try to convince you that the two of you are in love and should get married and have little mini jaes and whatnot

you inform him that he’s CRAZY and that jae thinks of you as a roommate and friend and that’s IT

and as much as you want to think you’re denying wonpil because you’re embarrassed you’re starting to actually believe it

he’s never shown any sort of real interest in you that is out of the realm of Friendly Roommates

and yeah sometimes you guys snuggle but wonpil is literally wrapped around your right arm at this very second so . not valid

wonpil is basically BEGGING at this point for you to see what he sees

which is jae actually being sickeningly in love with you

even if you did believe him at all …. that’s an exaggeration and you both know it

“y/n he’s writing a SONG. about YOU. that boy love loves you. big time”

“people write songs for their friends all the time”

“not jae !! he’s never written a song that hasn’t been about love or loss, you choose which one you’ll be”

“oh shit that was deep”

“i know right? can you believe i came up with that on the spot? wig.”

and then you smack him for being a fckin twitter stan and continue with your argument

jae walks in just as it starts to get physical

wonpil is latched onto your leg as you squirm and wiggle around trying to throw the LEECH off your leg

jae detaches him with a well placed finger between his ribs that makes him squeal Very Loudly and let go

unfortunately you had been leaning all your weight to one side to counteract wonpil and when he let go you went careening sideways

jae just barely grabbed your wrist and yanked you back up

and then you stumbled into him and he stumbles and you both almost fall before getting your shit together

you’re standing pressed together with his feet spread apart so that you’re a little bit closer to his height as you latch onto his shoulders for balance

one of his arms slides around your middle to hold you against him while he used the other to make sure his guitar case doesn’t just fall off his shoulder

wonpil is on the ground holding his rib cage and fake crying when jae goes

“enough wonpil i could hear you yelling like a block away what is going on here???”

you peep out a nothing !!! at the same time wonpil yells

“i’m trying to convince y/n of TRUE LOVE that’s what”

“oh …. y/n is in love?”

“y/n is in DENIAL”

you plead with him to stop please wonpil

and he is relentlessly ranting about how you refuse to “see the light” and how happy you could be

jae sees that this is actually upsetting you from your flushed cheeks and furrowed eyebrows and the way you clutch the hem of his sweatshirt

“alright that’s enough. wonpil go home you lovesick fool”

wonpil trudges out and gives you a sneaky kiss on the cheek

jae has to hold you back when you lunge after him

after you’ve calmed down he slowly slides his arm from being wrapped around your middle to just barely brushing your back

you didn’t mean to get so worked up but like . wonpil is good at that okay

and he was basically going to out you to jae ????:??:!:?:$,&3!:8;

that’s a stressful event

you feel your breathing even out and you sigh in frustration

“i’m sorry y/n, he does that sometimes :/“

“it’s fine it was just . a lot”

“yeah”

you stand in silence for a good minute when jae drops his hand from your back and ducks his chin

“was he…. telling the truth?”

and you want to die because wonpil wasn’t even there and you’re still getting outed !!!!

“which part?”

“the part where you’re in love with someone”

“i wouldn’t say ….. love”

“oh”

and this is just painful so you take a deep breath and just

“okay listen i really really get it if you don’t return the feelings and it’s fine i just … please don’t kick me out i really love living here and all your band members coming over and i even love wonpil !!!! even though he’s a little crazy !!! and i love your fat cat mr.crackers and dancing around to old green day and watching shitty romance movies just to make fun of them and i just don’t want this to end!! we can forget it ever happened and i swear i’ll just. get over it or something and i-“

“okay don’t get too hasty about forgetting it i haven’t even said anything yet”

you stare at him wide eyed

“i’m sorry . what.”

“i can’t believe it took wonpil bodily attacking you for you to say that”

and then he drops his guitar with a thud and steps into your space to slide a warm hand around the nape of your neck

he pulls you closer and stops when your noses brush

“is this okay?” he whispers

“why are you whispering?” you whisper back

“shut up” he breathes right back

he smiles and then tugs you forward and tilts his head down to plant his lips on yours

he’s soft and tentative and pulls away after just a few seconds to press kisses to your cheeks and the tip of your nose

“if it’s worth anything i like you too,”

“are you kidding me that’s worth EVERYTHING ???”

and then you pounce on him and bury your face into the dip of his shoulder because you can’t reach his neck

damn skyscraper

he stumbles at first but then smiles down at your flushed face absolutely squished against his bony chest

he thinks it’s cute though and cranes his neck down to lay his cheek across the top of your head and loop his arms around you

dating jae is even better than you thought it would be !!!

wonpil wasn’t lying when he said jae was writing a song for you and when he plays it for you and sings so sweetly you cry your fckin eyes out

and he’s laughing and pulling you in to situate you on his lap with his guitar long forgotten leaning against the couch and asking you when you became such a softie

you look up at him with tears in your eyelashes and love in your eyes and he positively melts

he kisses your forehead and ruffles your hair and calls you kid like he didn’t just profess his undying love for you through song like the cliche he is

the two of you spend the whole night wrapped up in each other, expressing all the affection you’d missed out on in the last few weeks

you hadn’t realized how…. touchy jae is until now

he can barely function without his good morning kiss

“y/n i am a weak, weak man pls give me a kiss or else i won’t make it through the day,”

..you also hadn’t realized he was this dramatic lmao

the boys supremely unsurprised when they burst into your apartment to find you straddling jae with your fingers in his hair

i’m telling you they don’t even PAUSE in their steps they just look at you and acknowledge it

and then brian just …. takes a seat next to you guys and is like

“are y’all done i wanna watch this redbox movie and return it tonight before i gotta pay for another day”

you’re both cherry red in the face and untangle yourselves in astonishment at his casual tone

dowoon is rummaging around in your fridge and calls out from the kitchen that the two of you were the most obvious people on the planet and that the rest of the band was in the same boat as wonpil they just weren’t absolute psychos

wonpil: this is true but i resent that

all of you settle back into a comfortable dynamic

you’re super happy that your relationship with jae didn’t make anything weird

it probably helped that the very first night that jae mentioned in passing that you were cute and the band had never let it go since

it also probably helped when wonpil pointed out your actual literal heart eyes the first time you saw jae

……………. they were just waiting for it to happen tbh

anyways

nowadays you spend your mornings parting ways with a kiss and your evenings snuggled up together on the couch exchanging eskimo kisses and sweet nothings and you couldn’t be happier

<3