#PLEASE tell me SOMEONE. ANYONE understands my vision

[ja3yun]

Please Be Real | P.JS

ex!jongseong x fem!reader warnings: angst, smut(mdni), unprotected sex, cream pie, fingering, begging, hurt w comfort, petnames (baby, princess), mentions of intoxication, alcohol, heavy conversation around wanting children, badly written, reupload, anything else lmk! w.c: 9.7k synopsis: you never thought you would hear the name park jongseong again until you get a call from one of his friends begging for your help a/n: hi! this is a reupload!! so if you think you've read it, that's because you have <3 i didn't edit this one and i think you will be able to tell since my writing is a little sloppy compared to now but i love this fic a lot. i was actually planning a new one today (sub jake) but i fear that one isn't finished yet! so please enjoy. as always, comments, feedback and reblogs are all welcome! love u <33

A sharp, jarring noise pierces your ears, the peaceful sleep you were in rudely disrupted. You groan out loud, covering your face with your covers but it does nothing to stop the ringing from your phone, it doesn’t even dull it a little, the little black device only echoing around the room louder.

Disoriented and groggy, you fumble for your phone on the bedside table, clumsily searching for it in the darkness. It isn’t your alarm, the usual peaceful tones of the birds chirping would be a welcomed sound, one that eases you into the day; no this was a phone call.

Finally grasping your phone, your eyes fight themselves open as you blink away any remnants of sleep, trying to find any sort of centre from your dizzy awakening. You look at the name on your phone but your vision is so blurred you can’t make it out but answer it anyway, knowing that whoever is phoning at this ungodly hour is clearly in need of your help.

“Hello?” you ask quietly, as if you don’t want to disturb the quiet of the night, unlike the person on the other end of the call.

“Uh, Y/N? It’s Jake.” His soft Australian accent drifts from your phone speaker into your ears. He sounds unsure whether he is supposed to be making the call, which to be fair, you understand because you haven’t heard from him in months, not after…

Letting out a sigh, you rub your forehead with the base of your palm tiredly, “Jake, why the fuck are you calling me at…” you pull the phone away, inspecting the time now that you’re more alert, “3.36am?” you ask with a hint of disdain. Normally, you would welcome the boy’s surprise call, after all, you did miss him. But considering he woke you up from a good dream involving you, Jeongin from Stray Kids, and a happily ever after; he wasn’t exactly your favourite person right now.

You can faintly hear some music in the background as he stays silent and you swear to yourself if this is to give him a ride home from a concert turned party, you’ll have his head.

“Listen, I hate to ask you this but can you come to Haven?”

“The nightclub? Why?” Your earlier suspicions are proving to be right, he does want a lift home. That would be an acceptable request if you guys were actively talking every day and the best of buddies but he isn’t even your friend, not really. 

You can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the line, his voice can be heard trying to calm someone down but his words are obscured as if the phone is wrested away from his mouth, leaving only disjointed fragments of speech drifting through the receiver. 

This sounds like more than just a simple ride home and it causes you to snap to attention, your senses heightened with concern. 

Jake finally brings his attention back to you, letting out a sigh of discontentment, “It’s Jay, he’s a mess and he’s calling out for you.”

Jay. Park Jongseong.

It’s been so long since anyone has dared to mention his name to you that it almost sounds like a foreign word.

Seven months ago, you and Jongseong had decided to call off your six-year relationship, both of you reaching the understanding that it was for the best considering your battling differences and needs within the relationship.

It wasn’t easy, the furthest thing from it actually. You and him had been inseparable since high school and once you both got together in year 12, it was always you and him against the world. He was the love of your life, that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that only happens in fairytales. Your souls were both painted from the same brush stroke.

But he wanted a peaceful, routine life - a classic white picket fence dream. Evenings would be spent with friends, savouring white wine and casual conversations over dinner. His heart was set on imagining the echoes of your future children's laughter filling your home, family trips to the seaside, and comforting them with kisses and band-aids when they got hurt.

And you craved spontaneity, to embrace life with vigour, travelling the world together was your dream, free from the responsibilities of parenting, cherishing moments just for yourselves. You longed for random midnight trips to Tesco for birthday cake simply because you could. All you wished for was to be with him, just the two of you.

Suddenly, your brain clicks into an important detail and you hurriedly check the calendar on your phone and the date makes you slump in your bed.

Today is Jongseong’s birthday, well technically not anymore given the time, but that means he has lived his first birthday without you by his side in so long. You would always celebrate his big day by doing something from his handwritten bucket list he has had since he was a child. Over the years he has added more to the list, each birthday scoring one out to add another.

The list wasn't extravagant; it was filled with simple yet heartfelt desires. You bought him a bundle of guitar lessons and a Taylor 114e electric guitar to fulfil his wish of learning to play. When you noticed the Download Festival marked with gold stars on his list, you surprised him with tickets for the year Metallica was headlining. And when he expressed a desire to cook a meal from scratch for his mum, you gifted him a kitchen knife engraved with his name and took the time to teach him how to prepare her favourite dish.

His birthdays were the most precious when you were in them, and you weren’t there with him.

“Y/N?” Jake’s sweet voice draws you back to his attention and out of the memory lane swirl your brain has put you in. He knows this is a tough call for you to take considering you and Jongseong said to cut ties completely; it’s better to act like you both didn’t exist than keep a thread tethered to one another that would only hurt you more.

As Jake and Sunghoon whisked Jay away for his birthday celebration, their intention was simple: to help him let loose and have a good time. Jay had been buried in overtime work lately, leaving little room for socialising. Since the breakup, the idea of going out without you - dancing together, stealing kisses in the taxi ride home - seemed unappealing.

Waking up that morning, Jay realised it marked the first birthday in six years without ticking something off his bucket list. The familiar, worn paper lay dormant on his desk, a stark reminder of your absence. He had no desire to celebrate today without you by his side. If he could fast-forward through the day to escape the weight of his birthday, he would eagerly do so.

Yet, with two very persuading friends and a whole lot of whiskey later, here he was, curled up outside Haven, yearning out for you.

“Y/N please, at least come and convince him to get up and come home with us,” Jake pleads. You can hear the cries of your ex-lover more clearly now as Jake kneels beside his friend, checking in on him.

With a resigned sigh, you nod, “Okay. Keep him warm, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

Hanging up the phone, you quickly put a brush through your hair and change into a baggy top, one you bought for Jongseong before breaking up, and a pair of grey sweatpants. This is a bad idea, you know it is, but you also can’t leave him to wallow in the middle of the street. You don’t think you could live with yourself if you didn’t help and Jake wouldn’t call unless it was something he couldn’t handle. 

You don’t want to see the state Jongseong is in, his wailing cries that you could slightly hear over the phone already made your heart clench in hurt.

As you drive to Haven, your heart races in anticipation with each mile that passes. Is your heart ready to face him after all these months? Staring into the love of your life’s eyes once again might break you even more. You’ve done a good job in keeping yourself together, at putting on a facade that everything is okay, when deep down you know that if one person asked you about Jongseong you would crumble and fall apart.��

He wasn’t the only one throwing himself into work to forget. You’ve worked hours and hours trying to keep your mind off the heartbreak, you thought that if you just focused and kept your head down, the phrase time heals all wounds would kick in and you’d be free of the torment of losing your first love. But it hasn’t worked out that way, you know that now as you speed down the empty roads to console the one person you are trying to forget.

As you reach Haven, you can vaguely see three boys under the illuminating sign, almost as if shining a spotlight on them to add to the spectacle that Jongseong is making. Onlookers are watching as your ex-boyfriend cries on the pavement, wishing you would come home.

With a quick exhale, you step out of the car before doubts can creep in, determined to be there for him. Jake and Sunghoon's voices float to you, attempting to soothe him and inject some sense into the moment. Bracing yourself, you approach, ready to offer whatever comfort you can, despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.

Sinking onto the balls of your feet, you lower yourself to Jongseong's level, meeting his strained figure. Instantly, the sight of his distress instantly shatters your heart into a million pieces.

An abundance of tears cascades down Jongseong's reddened face, obscuring his features like a relentless waterfall. His clenched jaw and the prominent vein on his forehead portray the intensity of his distress as he struggles to draw each laboured breath. Curled into himself, his body seems to contort with the weight of physical agony, mirroring the emotional pain that ripples through his trembling form. He’s been keeping this in for so long that his body doesn’t know how to cope with it.

Reaching out to grab his clenched fist, you shuffle forward carefully, “Jjongie?” you say calmly, trying to pull him out of his dispaired state and avoid startling him. “It’s me, baby, look at me,” 

Jongseong's body tenses at your voice and he slowly lifts his head, his eyes bloodshot and filled with an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and longing. For a moment, there's a flicker of recognition in his eyes before they cloud over again with anguish.

He doesn’t believe you’re actually here, considering the long nights where he has conjured up the idea of you, clinging to his imagination on the lonely nights he wishes for your touch. But as you squeeze his hand, he realises this isn’t a dream-induced sighting, you’re really here in front of him.

"Y/N..." he murmurs, his voice choked with emotion. Tears stream down his face in torrents, some landing on your hand that holds his. His cries reverberate through the air, each wail a sharp stab to your chest.

Cupping his cheek, you settle yourself between his legs, ignoring the stinging discomfort of the rocks beneath your knees, your focus solely on him. With a sad smile, you attempt to mask your own hurt, your touch a gentle reassurance amidst his storm of emotions.

"Hey, hey, enough of that now," you hush him softly, your voice a soothing melody in the tumultuous night. Using the pad of your thumb, you tenderly wipe away his tears, though they continue to flow unabated.

Jongseong leans into your touch, “I miss you so much, Y/N, please. Please,” he pleads as you feel his warm breath against your skin. He desperately nuzzles into your palm, seeking solace in the familiar sensation of your touch, the very thing he has been yearning for.

It’s hurting you just seeing him like this, the man you once knew to be strong-willed and resilient, keeping his emotions under control unless he’s sharing sweet vulnerable moments with you under the covers, is now a shell of himself, stripped bare by the weight of grief.

Turning to look at Jake, you offer him a small smile, “I’ll take him home.”

“You sure?” Jake asks with a raised brow, knowing that it’s a dangerous game for you both if you do.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to move unless I do,” you chuckle sympathetically but there’s a bubble in your throat as Jongseong’s whimpers flow into your ear from beside you, pathetic and distressed.

Nodding, Jake gestures to Sunghoon, silently enlisting his help in the task of ferrying the drunk man to your car. The weight of Jongseong's limp form proves difficult as you all struggle to navigate his dead weight, his limbs hanging heavily without offering any assistance.

"Let's get you home," you murmur softly, your hands pressing gently against Jongseong's chest to steady him, aided by his friends who lift him onto their shoulders.

His eyes lock onto yours, an intensity burning within them. "Please be real," he whispers, his voice trembling with desperation. Despite feeling your touch and catching hints of your scent, doubt gnaws at him. If this is merely a figment of his imagination, he knows he'll never forgive himself. You're so close, so tangible - it has to be you.

With much struggle, the three of you get him to your car, putting him gently in the backseat so he can lie down, but he wraps his arms around your waist as his legs stay situated outside of the vehicle, holding you close to him.

"Come on, Jjongie, lie down for a minute," you coax gently, guiding him to stretch out along the seats. But he remains unmoving, clutching onto you as if fearing you'll slip away if he lets go. With a soft sigh, you stroke the back of his head, your hands moving in a soothing rhythm. "I promise, I am not going anywhere," you whisper, your words a tender vow to him.

Yet, your attempts to reassure him seem to go unheard. His face burrows deeper into your stomach, his words muffled by the fabric of your t-shirt and the weight of his tears.

You exchange a worried glance with Jake and Sunghoon, “How much did he have to drink?” you ask, scared of the answer they will give. Your ex-boyfriend has always been so good at holding his liquor that it must have been a hefty amount if he’s this bad..

“Like…two weeks' wage worth,” Sunghoon winces as he says it, his neck tightening as he looks at his best friend. It was hard to watch him, pound spirit after spirit, and be helpless in telling him to stop. He’s not exaggerating either, he must have spent at least £600 in there. Each round was a triple, accompanied by a few shots to wash the Jack and Coke down.

"Oh, baby," you sigh softly, returning your attention to Jongseong. You press a tender kiss to the crown of his head, hoping to offer some comfort amidst his distress. In some way, the scent of his shampoo also gives you some ease within the chaos. His response to your affection is to cling to you even tighter, his sobs echoing against your chest as he seeks solace in your embrace. There’s a crushing wave of empathy that you feel wash over you right at this moment. It hurts, seeing him like this and hearing of his struggles - ex or not - you care about him, and you also understand his pain.

You need to get him home. He’s a fucking mess and the longer he stays like this, the more it’s going to wear all four of you out. So, with a gentle hand, you pull him back and lift his jaw up to look at you. It was probably the worst decision you could have ever made. He looks…broken.

"I've got you, Jjongie," you whisper softly, squeezing his chin as almost a gentle pinch, to prove you’re not letting him go. This instantly relaxes Jongseong, though, his hands still grip onto you for dear life. His friends go to help you, break him away and buckle him in the backseat, but you halt them with a firm gesture, "You guys can go, I've got it from here."

Sunghoon shakes his head, heavy concern etched on his face. "No way. He's too heavy, Y/N. You won't be able to manage him into the apartment without us.”

But you stand your ground. This is your and Jongseong's mess, and you can’t let others help you clean it up. "It's okay. You guys have done your shift for tonight. Go home," you insist, your voice resolute and brooking no argument.

Reluctantly, Sunghoon and Jake nod, still teetering on the edge of arguing with you. But, they know better and bid you goodnight before going their separate ways home, leaving you alone with Jongseong and the weight of your shared history.

Taking a deep breath, you hoist him in, his body listening to you a little more now that you’ve reassured him you aren’t leaving him. He sprawls over the backseats and lays still, the alcohol consuming him into some form of comatose. You’ve been in this state before too, so you can recognise the blackout glaze that he’s trying to fight away as he keeps his eyes on you. He’s so scared you’ll just vanish into thin air. “I’m right here. Go to sleep.”

Surprisingly, he listens to your reassurance, closing his eyes and drifting off, allowing you to slide into the driver's seat. You turn the keys as the engine begins humming to life beneath you. Glancing at Jongseong's slumbering form in the rearview mirror, you steel yourself for the journey ahead.

_____

Arriving at his house fills you with a nervous energy that tightens in your chest. This wasn’t just his flat—it used to be your shared home. For two and a half years, this place held countless, irreplaceable memories, moments you thought you’d cherish forever.

You were the one who left, finding a new place closer to work and convincing yourself it was the practical choice. But deep down, you knew the real reason: you couldn’t bear the constant reminders of him that lingered in every room, every piece of furniture, every shadow of your life together.

Looking back now, it feels selfish. You left him here, surrounded by the remnants of your relationship, without considering how he might feel. While you escaped to a fresh start, he was left to live among the echoes of what you once had.

Lugging him into the flat, his legs are working in tandem with you now unlike before but he still isn’t proving to be the easiest person to carry. The last time you had to hold his weight like this was when he got drunk at your prom after taking sneaky shots in the hotel garden with his friends. It was funny, but you blame him for some of your back pain that you’ve endured in your early twenties.

As you push open the door and step into the living room, a wave of nostalgia washes over you like a tsunami. Though only seven months have passed, it feels like a lifetime since you last stood in this space with him by your side. Everything remains unchanged, frozen in time since the day you left. 

The same couch sits in its familiar spot, adorned with throw pillows and blankets you bought for last season. Photographs of you both, captured during Christmases and holidays, adorn the walls, each one a snapshot of happier times when life seemed so simple and easy. Even the vase that his mum had gotten you both for your housewarming gift, one that you loved and he hated, remains in its pride of place on the mantlepiece.

You shake the thoughts away and guide Jongseong toward the bedroom. Each step feels heavy, as you’re encompassed with memories that surround you. He’s been living in a time capsule, and while you’re struggling to look at it all now, you wonder how he has managed to endure it for all these months.

His arm is slung over your shoulder as his weight presses down on you, however, it’s the feeling of his nose brushing against your hair that nearly stops you in your tracks. He breathes in deeply, and for a brief moment, it feels like he’s trying to ground himself in the familiarity of you.

You help Jongseong onto the bed, propping him up carefully. “I’m going to grab you some clean boxers, okay?” you say softly. He doesn’t respond, lost in his own haze, so you move toward the drawers on the other side of the room.

Walking over, you spot a familiar t-shirt lying crumpled on your old side of the bed. You make a b-line to investigate it and as you pick up the crumpled t-shirt, a flood of memories washes over you, transporting you back to simpler times. Your fingers trace the familiar fabric, still faintly carrying the scent of you, now mingled with his cologne. You piece it all together pretty quickly, the way it still smells faintly of you but is not starting to be overpowered by his cologne. He hugs it at night to find peace of mind.

“Oh, Jjongie,” you sigh, heart reaching out to him. You’re no better, you have one of his hoodies that you snuck into your luggage as you packed and wear it when you’re at home. Just like your t-shirt, his hoodie is starting to lose its scent from the amount of times you’ve hugged yourself to sleep in it.

You’re no better, though. You think of the hoodie you tucked into your suitcase before you left, the one you’ve worn so many times on nights when the loneliness felt unbearable. Its scent is fading too, just like this shirt, but you still cling to it, just as he clings to this. Both of you, in your own quiet ways, are holding onto the fragments of a love neither of you has been able to let go of.

Jongseong has always been reserved, his emotions carefully guarded behind a facade of reason and rationale. To see him like this, vulnerable and raw, strikes a chord deep within you. If he had always worn his heart on his sleeve, perhaps it would be easier to understand. But the complexity of his emotions only serves to deepen the ache in your chest.

You place the t-shirt back on the pillow before opening the dresser drawer and retrieve a clean pair of boxers, his favourite ones with the faded Hello Kitty print that you've always teased him about.

Gently, you begin to undress him while he rambles incoherent nonsense that you can’t understand between the mix of tears and drunk slurring. The top half is easy but the bottom half proves difficult as he only looks up at you, whispering pleas as he stares at you, keeping his bum firmly sat on the edge of the bed.

As you finally manage to remove Jongseong's jeans and boxers, leaving him naked, a new layer of vulnerability settles over the room. He sits before you bathed in the soft glow of the hallway light, his silhouette outlined in the darkness.

"Stay with me," he whispers, his voice a gentle plea as his hands begin to roam your sides, tracing the contours of your body beneath your shirt. Each touch ignites a flurry of sensations within you, sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

His beauty, illuminated by the faint light, is both captivating and heartbreaking. The familiarity of his form, once etched in your memory, now lays before you in the flesh, a tangible reminder of the love you still harbour for him. How could you not still love him? He was perfect in every way possible.

He pulls you onto his lap, your sweatpants becoming the barrier between his cock and your pussy. Yet, none of you are really thinking about that right now, all you both want is to hold one another again.

“Jongseong, we broke up, and for good reason,” you rationalise with not only him but yourself as you find yourself sinking into his touch as his hands roam your back.

Nuzzling his nose against yours, he begins to cry softly again, his face rubbing itself against yours as his tears transfer from his cheeks to yours, “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he 

mumbles as his lips ghost over yours. 

He doesn’t just mean tonight, he means forever. A tear from your eye cascades down your face, getting lost in the mixture of his, your empathy for him overwhelming you because you feel the same way he does. You need him in every way, you need to be close to him, to feel his heart beating in synch with yours once again.

But you know better than this. You’re both just prolonging heartache if you succumb to being with him again. You can’t give each other what you need.

“Baby, don’t do this,” you beg him, knowing that he has the power to pull you back into his life with the click of his fingers, that resolve you have worked so hard to build up now hangs in the balance, “Let me get you changed and then into bed, yeah?”

Reasoning with him is a lost cause, his arms now hugging you tightly like before as he ignores your suggestion. The last thing he wants is to put on those boxers because he knows when he does that you’ll leave. 

"Please, baby," his voice is raw with emotion, his desperation palpable in the air between you. And as you look into his eyes, you see the depth of his longing mirrored in your own. 

His plea hangs in the air, a heavy weight pressing down on your already burdened heart. You feel torn between the overwhelming desire to give in to his request and the harsh reality of the situation.

With a deep breath, you summon the strength to gently extricate yourself from his embrace, feeling the weight of his disappointment lingering in the air. His hurt expression tugs at your heartstrings, but you shake your head firmly, "Just tonight, okay?" you assure him, your voice soft but resolute.

Curse you and your heart that caves into his pleas so easily.

You disregard getting him dressed and instead, remove your sweatpants and replace them with those very boxers you planned to adorn him with and swap out your t-shirt for the one on your old pillow. Jongseong clumsily climbs into his covers, getting comfortable and finding some happiness in the fact that you’ll be in his arms at least for a little while. 

Once you climb into your side of the bed, he instinctively hugs you from behind, the comfort of your body pressed against his. He spoons you from behind, tucking his face in your neck as he exhales in contentment. This is all he has been craving since that night you left and he couldn’t be happier. All the turmoil and anguish from earlier slowly depletes as he finds himself sinking into a much-needed sleep.

You can’t deny you feel the same, his arms wrapped around you feel like home, like you’ve been on a seven-month business trip and you’re now finally back where you belong. You sink into him further, relishing his skin against yours.

“Happy birthday, Jjongie,” you whisper, bringing his hand up to kiss it before intertwining your fingers with his.

_____

Waking up, Jongseong feels like his whole body has crashed into a brick wall. His bones ache and his head feels tight, but there is a weight that feels so familiar yet foreign, his legs tangled around something and his arms holding it close. This feels different from the t-shirt of yours he clings to every night, this has more substance.

Please don’t be some random girl he thinks to himself, scared to open his eyes. 

Even if he wanted to open his eyes, he couldn’t - they were sealed shut, held together by something stubborn. Had he been crying last night? Wait, what did happen last night?

Fragments of the evening begin to resurface as he sifts through the haze: Jake and Sunghoon dragging him to Haven, the chaotic vibe of the bar, and the questionable decision to ride the mechanical bull. After that? A blank.

As he struggles to piece it all together, you watch him futilely attempt to pry his eyes open. Deciding to help, you gently swipe your thumb across his lids, clearing away the dried remnants of tears and sleep. His body tenses at your touch, his expression clouded with confusion.

Was he hallucinating? The sensation felt so real - too real. Or maybe the girl he brought home last night had a touch uncannily like yours. God, he hoped it was the first one.

Opening his eyes with your help, he blinks away the blur and sets his eyes on your face, his expression reading one of relief that quickly turns into astonishment.

“Y/N? Baby?” he whispers, his hands instinctively reaching for your cheek, “Please be real.” The same words he pleaded out last night leave his lips again. Jongseong has spent so many nights dreaming of you, wishing in an alternative universe that he can hold you again, so much so that this doesn’t feel real.

You don’t know what to say but obviously, you have to say something. It was one thing to confront drunk Jongseong who didn’t have a wit about him but now it feels like there’s a boulder on your chest as you try to conjure up the courage to speak to a sober, semi-alert Jongseong. 

All you can do is nod, no words escaping your dried lips. You look down to see you and his limbs mangled together just like they used to be, the feeling of his body pressed so tightly against yours almost feels like heaven.

He takes in the sight of you, the lines of disbelief on his features soften, replaced by a glimmer of hope. Slowly, almost tentatively, he reaches out to you, his fingers brushing against your cheek as if to confirm your presence.

The touch sends a jolt of electricity coursing through you, he’s caressing your cheek so tenderly it reminds you of the time you had the shift from hell and Jongseong held you the whole night, whispering sweet words into your ear and stroking your tears away, just like this.

Except there are no tears this time, you’re all cried out - months of mourning the loss of your relationship will do that to you.

As Jongseong's eyes meet yours, a flicker of recognition passes through them, followed by a wave of embarrassment. His voice is soft as he speaks, a hint of uncertainty lacing his words, "What are you doing here?" he asks, his tone laden with confusion.

"You got pretty drunk last night," understatement "And Jake asked me to come pick you up."

You can feel the tension in the air as Jongseong processes your words, his expression a mixture of shame and regret, "Sorry, I don't usually drink that much," he murmurs, his voice tinged with remorse.

The explanation stings, not because Jongseong has been drinking more, but because of the distance it creates between you. It's as if he's explaining himself to a stranger, rather than to the person who once knew him better than anyone else. The past six years you’ve known how he knows his limit and that he doesn’t tend to breach it, not subconsciously. 

All you do is nod, accepting his explanation as you slowly start to detangle yourself from him, “I better get going.”

“Y/N, please let's talk,” he pleads as his voice wavers, his grip tightening around your waist, and his desperation palpable as he pleads for your attention. But you've made up your mind, and no amount of persuasion can sway you from the path you've chosen.

"Jongseong, please, let's not do this," you implore, your voice tinged with a mixture of sorrow and resolve, "We're only going to hurt ourselves again."

You both know the reasons behind your breakup are deeply rooted, immutable truths that cannot be changed. It's not a matter of cheating or petty disagreements - this is about fundamental differences in desires and aspirations for the future.

But Jongseong refuses to accept defeat, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he breathes his love out, "Princess, we can work it out, I know we can," he insists, his words heavy with sincerity.

You steel yourself against the onslaught of his love, knowing that to give in would only prolong the inevitable pain, "We want different things, Jjongie," you remind him gently, your voice tinged with regret.

“I can do without them. It’s you I can’t live without…I can’t breathe without you here by my side.” His words are sincere and you know it, but you can’t accept it. When you both discussed your future, he looked so excited at the prospect of kids that your heart broke instantly. You knew right away that you couldn’t give him what he wanted most.

Closing your eyes and sucking in the bottom of your cheeks, you steady yourself to have this conversation yet again, “You can’t give up the idea of having kids. Having the life you want is much more important than me. You can find someone who can give you that.”

It hurts to say but you need to rip the bandaid off quickly. 

“You think I want that life with anyone but you?” His voice raises lightly, hinting at the anger rising into his chest. He needs you to listen to him, to understand him, “Y/N, if it’s not with you then I don’t want that life.”

Shaking your head determinedly, you sit up, “But I can’t give you that life, it’s not what I want.” You feel like you’re reliving the argument that ended it all those months ago.

“That’s okay-”

“No, It’s not,” It’s your turn to get angry and interrupt him, your eyebrows lacing together as you try to read him. How can he say all of this so easily? Like he wasn’t trying to promise you that he would change his entire life plan just to be with you. Is it romantic? Sure, but it’s also fucking stupid. No one should change just to keep someone they love because if they were meant to be, then their values would align…right?

"It's not that simple, Jongseong," you argue through the silence, your voice tinged with frustration, "You can't just sweep aside your dreams for the sake of our relationship. What about what you want? What about your own happiness?"

Jongseong sits up, the covers hiding his naked lower half; he hadn’t realised he was naked and it only adds a new layer to his vulnerability. He is truly laying himself bare to you.

But Jongseong's gaze remains unwavering, his determination evident in the set of his jaw, "Since we broke up, I've realised that you are the life I want," he declares, his words carrying the weight of his conviction, "Whatever that looks like for you, I want it."

You feel his words like a pickaxe, slowly breaking away at the wall you’ve spent months building around your heart and reason. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions sweeps over you. On one hand, his declaration of love sparks a glimmer of hope amidst the ruins of your fractured relationship. Yet, on the other hand, doubt claws at your insides, gnawing away at any semblance of certainty, the pure love that you have for him only wishes to make sure he’s happy and gets everything he wants in life.

"Jongseong, I..." you start, your voice wavering as you grapple with the turmoil inside. How do you express the depth of your feelings?

Grabbing your face with his large hands, he kisses you, his soft lips now coating yours. You’ve missed him so much that you become overwhelmed by his actions, a soft tear leaking from your ducts.

So much for being all cried out, you think to yourself.

"It's you, Y/N, I only need you," Jongseong whispers against your lips, his urgency evident as he seeks solace in the warmth of your embrace, stealing kisses with a hunger born from longing.

In spite of yourself, you find your lips responding to his touch, drawn in by the familiar sensation of his mouth against yours. Your arms instinctively wrap around him, fingers grazing lightly over the muscles of his back as you hold him close; your brain is telling you to push him away but your heart is pulling him tighter to you. 

"It's not fair to you, Jjongie," you murmur, the words weighted with a sense of guilt and remorse.

"I'd rather be with you happily than with kids and someone else miserably," Jongseong confesses, his words carrying the weight of his heart's deepest desires.

Jongseong wishes you could see it from his point of view; of course, he has wanted kids and a comfortable life for so long but the idea of achieving that when you are not his wife seems fucking ridiculous. There is no one in this world he wants to be with other than you and if that means he has to be an uncle rather than a dad, so be it.

You are all he has ever wanted. To grow old with you, to experience each of your accomplishments together and have you close to him. He wants to protect you and look after you the way he knows he should and that is his new life goal. This isn’t a decision he has made lightly but a decision he wanted to make.

His hands glide down your sides, trailing over your thighs as his kisses continue, each touch a manifestation of the craving that has consumed him. His need for you is overwhelming, every fibre of his being yearning for you in every possible way. Another moment without you feels unbearable, as if he might die.

You surrender to his touch, sinking back onto the bed as he hovers above you, his grip on your thighs firm yet tender. The intensity of his desire leaves marks, but in this moment, you welcome anything he offers.

It's astonishing how the feel of his lips on yours dismantles your resolve, scattering your apprehensions like leaves in the wind.

Slowly, he removes from you the t-shirt that has absorbed his tears on countless nights and the boxers you borrowed from him, leaving you exposed beneath him. As he looks upon your naked figure, his eyes drink in every curve and contour, offering silent gratitude to the heavens for letting him have you like this. You are everything he wants and more.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispers into your mouth as he presses his body hard against yours, his member rubbing itself against your folds. 

The feeling of him rubbing against you is enough to elicit a moan. No amount of toys was enough to satisfy you, not the way Jongseong could. Over the years you learned about one another’s bodies so intimately that no one could ever know you the way he does, not even yourself. 

You couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping with someone else, even if you and Jongseong had broken up, your heart couldn’t do it. You never even considered a one night stand because deep down you knew that your body belonged to Jongseong and no one else.

He moves his hips, slowly rubbing himself against you, the bell of his cock grazing your clit teasingly. It feels like a dream for him to touch you this way again, and the fact that you were coating his cock with your wetness was enough to tell him that you need this too.

Kissing you desperately, his tongue darts into your mouth and swirls with yours as he seeks to taste you, his buds dancing along with yours. He moans into your mouth and acts as an echo of his love for you.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers as his hips continue to move slowly, teasing your hole with his tip each time he draws back. It’s becoming increasingly obvious how much it’s starting to irritate you, your need to have him inside you is evident in your whines of frustration.

"I missed you too, baby. More than anything," you confess, your hand finding his cock as you press against him, seeking to create greater friction between you. With each movement, the pressure builds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.

With each synchronised movement, the tension between you mounts, the desire for one another lingering in the warm air. His hips continue their slow, teasing rhythm, each brush against your core sending sparks of want up your heat and into your chest.

Feeling the urgency building within you, you guide his cock with precision, pressing it against your eager entrance. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel the head of his length dip into you only slightly, the anticipation of being filled with him heightening your senses.

"Please," you whisper, your voice laden with need and longing, a plea for him to take you.

With a teasing grin, Jongseong relents to your plea, but not in the way you expected. Instead of thrusting into you the way you want him to, he trails his fingertips along the curves of your body, igniting a trail of fire in his wake. His touch is light and tantalising, tracing patterns across your skin as he savours every moment. He wants to take his time with you, no matter how much his dick longs to be surrounded by your walls.

You like to be teased even for a little bit, the payoff at the end always hits the right spot.

You squirm beneath his touch, aching for more, but he continues with deliberate slowness. His fingers dance over your heated flesh, exploring every inch of your body with an intimacy that leaves you breathless. Each caress sends shivers down your spine, building the anticipation to unbearable heights. God, you missed his hands all over you.

As his right hand dips lower, he begins tracing circles around your sensitive clit and you can't help but arch your back in pleasure, a soft moan escaping your lips. The sensation is electrifying, sending waves coursing through your body as he expertly teases you.

Feeling your body tremble with anticipation, his touch becomes more urgent as he presses his fingers against your throbbing clit h and with practised skill, he begins to move faster, applying just the right amount of pressure to have you writhing beneath him.

“You look so fucking perfect, all desperate and whiney like this, Princess,” he says as he leans down to kiss you, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tries to fill each of his senses with you. It wasn’t just enough to feel you, he wanted to taste you, to inhale your scent, to hear you cry out for him, to see you unravel beneath him.

Your breath catches in your throat as the intensity of his touch sends you spiralling towards the edge of bliss. Each stroke of his fingers drives you closer to the brink, your body humming with the need to let go.

But just as you feel yourself teetering on the edge, Jongseong suddenly slows his movements, drawing out the pleasure with agonising slowness. It's a torturous tease, the brief moments of intensity followed by long, drawn-out strokes that leave you gasping for more.

“Please, please, please, Jjongie,” you whimper in frustration, your body aching for release as Jongseong continues to play you like a symphony, alternating between fast and slow, building the tension to unbearable levels. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, he finally gives in, his fingers dipping into your heat and thrusting into you at a rough pace, your pussy soaking his digits as he coaxes out your orgasm.

“You’re clamping down on my fingers so hard, Baby, you gonna cum?” he asks arrogantly, knowing that with each curl of his finger, he is watching your body lose control and surrender to him.

Nodding quickly, you pull him down for a long, searing kiss as his thumb joins the party and flicks your clit rapidly, “Oh my god,” you moan out into his mouth through bated breaths, “I’m gonna cum, Jongseong, please can I cum?”

“You never have to ask baby,” he moves his mouth to your ear and lightly nibbles your lobe, “Cum for me, Princess,” he gently commands.

Jongseong continues to work his magic, his fingers moving with expert precision as he guides you through the throes of ecstasy. Your vision blurs and every nerve in your body hums with pleasure as you reach the pinnacle of bliss.

With a final, desperate cry, you let go, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You arch your back and cry out his name as pleasure consumes you, your body trembling with the intensity of it all.

His fingers remain still inside you, but his thumb maintains its relentless pace, each swipe sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. Your hips instinctively twitch in response, your nub throbbing with sensitivity and yearning for a respite. Yet, Jongseong shows no signs of letting up, his determined flicking only intensifying.

"You like that, baby?" Jongseong's voice is hoarse with desire as he intently watches your reactions. His eyes are dark with need as he continues to work you with wild desire. 

Your senses are overwhelmed by sensations pouring through you, so you can only respond with a gasping nod. Every single nerve in your body is buzzing with ecstasy, and all you can think of is the delicious agony of his thumb against your delicate clit.

"Tell me what you want, Princess," he asks, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear, "Do you want more?"

You can only make a frantic plea, your words barely comprehensible in the middle of intense pleasure. "Yes, please, Jongseong... More..."

Jongseong's lips curl into a wicked grin as he hears your plea, his confidence growing with each breathless gasp that escapes your lips. With a teasing twinkle in his eye, he moves his fingers again, pressing them against your contracting walls, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he speaks.

"What do you want, Y/N?" he whispers, his voice dripping with anticipation, "Tell me, and I'll give it to you."

Your mind is a haze of desire, but amidst the fog, one thought stands out clear and demanding. You need him inside you, filling you completely with his presence. With trembling hands, you reach for him, your fingers curling around his cock, guiding him to where you need him most, pushing his hand out of the way.

"I want you," you whisper, your voice trembling with need. "I want all of you, Jongseong." When you utter the words, there’s a deeper meaning to them, a meaning that Jongseong is clinging to.

The way your fingers wrap around his rock-hard member elicits a hiss from him, your touch mixed with your words only fuels him to give you everything you need. 

Jongseong lets out a guttural groan, entirely surrendering to your touch and words. His eyes darken with want as he watches you take control, and his breath quickens with anticipation as you guide him inside you. His breath coming in ragged gasps, he looks into your eyes with a mixture of desire and adoration, "God, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice rough with need, “You feel so fucking incredible. I’ve missed how you just suck me in like this.”

You look down and watch as his entire length gets lost in your heat, his cock’s head hitting deep within you. You’ve missed how he fills you up so much but you hadn’t realised just how badly until right now as he shallowly thrusts into you.

You respond with a low moan of pleasure, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer, urging him to go deeper. "Yes, Jongseong," you whisper, your voice laced with longing, "just like that. I need this so much, I need you."

With each thrust, he grunts in response, his movements becoming more desperate as he seeks to satisfy your every desire, "I'm yours, Y/N," he declares, his voice filled with raw emotion, "completely and utterly yours."

As he lifts your legs and closes them, gently draping them over his left shoulder, your warmth envelops his shaft, drawing him in closer. Jongseong relishes the sensation of your tightness, revelling in the snug embrace of your canal around him. And you too find delight in the pressure of his girth, relishing the way he stretches you further with every powerful thrust.

Each movement of his hips is deliberate, each one designed to bring you both closer to the edge of ecstasy. As his hands stroke your legs tenderly, contrasting with the intensity of his thrusts, you find yourself lost in the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies moving as one.

His jerks grow more intense, the pace quickening as he drives deeper into you, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge, "You feel so good," he groans, his voice filled with unrestrained passion, "so fucking perfect for me, Princess."

In response, you curve your back and meet his thrusts with equal conviction, the heat between you building to an almost euphoric level. "Jongseong," you exclaim, your voice a symphony of fulfilment, "don't stop, please don't stop."

Jongseong intensifies his efforts with a wild growl, each movement driven by a burning need to push you to the edge of satisfaction and beyond. At this moment, there is only you and him, burned by the fires of passion.

With a swift motion, your lover bends you in half, positioning your legs by your head as he quickens his already rapid pace. Lost in a whirlwind of desire, your eyes roll back and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, your chest heaving with each forceful thrust of his cock. Your nails dig into his skin, leaving marks on his shoulder blades as you cling to him, lost in the intensity of the moment.

Feeling the sting of your nails, he grits his teeth and strains his neck, the veins in his temples pulsating as he fights the overwhelming urge to release inside you right then and there.

“Fuck, claw my back, Baby,” he growls, his voice thick with desire, “make me yours again.” With determination, he continues to pound into you, each movement bringing you closer to your shared orgasm.

After hearing Jongseong’s go-ahead, you dig into his back, dragging your nails across his skin, leaving fiery red lines in their wake, just like he wants. It burns him in the most delectable way, making his cock throb inside of you.

Your breaths combine in the air, creating an ensemble of desire as you both reach the edge. The tension between you grows with each thrust, a crescendo of want reaching its peak.

As he slams into you furiously, his voice fills the room with urgency, "You gonna cum again, Princess? You want it?" His words are a mixture of want and domination, starting a fire inside you that threatens to consume everything in its path.

With a firm nod, you meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with want. "Yes, Jongseong, please," you beg, your voice a frantic appeal for release once again.

In response, he increases his efforts, his motions growing more frenzied as he propels you both to your orgasms. And then, with a final, strong thrust, you shatter, your body convulsing from the ferocity of your release. Jongseong follows closely behind, his own climax mirroring yours as he finds release within you, “Fuck!” 

His body stills as he shoots his seed into you, the tremble of both your bodies vibrates the bed beneath you. Finding it hard to keep himself up, he falls onto you, moving his cock into you further, only drawing out a final moan from your lips.

After a couple of minutes, Jongseong rolls over, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. God, he missed the way you feel under him, he could go another ten rounds if you asked. 

But that would mean you would stay, and is that even something you want? He doesn’t want to ask, your answer being the deciding factor of whether he goes on his life with misery or happiness.

He knows he can’t force you into this relationship but he hopes he has done enough to convince you that you are all he wants.

“Please be with me again, Y/N. I can’t live without you,” he whispers into the air, not daring to look at you.

You on the other hand only want to look at him, to see if you can really try this again, “Even if it means no kids? No playdates with other parents? No family trips to Jeju?”

“Even without all that.” He does look sincere, his eyes now burning into yours with a new lease of determination.

The truth is, you’ve missed him so much that it hurts. Behind the strong facade is just a girl who misses her lover. Being without him is like being in a fire with no escape, constantly fighting your way out of a blaze while your lungs collapse. He’s the clear path to fresh air you desperately need, there is no denying it. And clearly, he thinks the same about you. 

Seeing him last night so fragile and broken engulfed you in the flames, burning you alive because you know that you feel every ounce of hurt that he is. It was a mirror to how you were feeling and you don’t think you knew how badly you needed him until that moment. You were trying to be so strong about it all, giving yourself only a short amount of time to grieve that as you looked at Jongseong last night, you know he has done the same.

You need one another to extinguish the fire.

“Jongseong, truly think about this, this isn’t me saying no to letting you go on a lads holiday, I’m denying you the opportunity to be a father,” you plead with him one last time, giving him an out to all of this as you lay it all on the table.

“Princess, I have had seven months to think about it. I am not compromising or altering my needs for you, this is a decision that I have made on my own. If I truly wanted the life I thought I did, I wouldn’t be begging you to be with me right now. I know this isn’t an easy choice but I have never been more sure about anything in my life.” 

Jongseong kisses all over your face, each one a receipt of his sincerity.

His words strike straight into your heart. He’s serious. A part of you wants to still feel guilty like you’re forcing him into this but on the other hand, he’s right. You’ve given him a multitude of opportunities to leave and find a girl who will cater to him, but he hasn’t. 

He doesn’t need to because all he needs is you and your love, to Jongseong, that is all he needs in his life.

“Okay, but if you ever change your min-”

He interjects with a kiss, one filled with so much happiness and love that it’s almost intoxicating; either that or all the booze in his system has transferred its way into your bloodstream. 

You giggle as he rolls over on top of you again, peppering loud and wet kisses all over your face and neck akin to a dog licking you from utter joy. Your hands try to fight him off playfully, your laugh growing louder as he nuzzles into your neck.

“Oh, wait!” Your lover's sudden pause catches your attention, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he swiftly rolls off the bed and rushes over to the messy pile on the chair by his dresser.

Curious, you crane your neck to see what he's up to, watching as he retrieves something from the floor.

“What is it?” you inquire, intrigued by his enthusiasm.

Turning back to you, Jongseong holds up the familiar torn sheet of paper that you recognise instantly, his smile lighting up his face. He grabs a pen from the desk and returns to your side, handing you both items.

“Tick it off,” he urges, pointing to the bottom of the page where a new addition was made yesterday morning. Despite his internal conflict about the list, he couldn't bring himself to tear it up. If he never saw you again, this would be a precious memory to hold onto.

So he added a new aspiration at the bottom.

Taking the pen from his hand, you read it slowly, “Make Y/N mine again..”

You gaze up at him in awe, understanding the significance of this gesture and how much the list means to him, “You wished for this?” you ask, to which he simply nods at your question, “Then you need to tick it off.” You push the pen and paper back to him but he stops you.

“No, you made the wish come true, so you need to tick it off,” he replies, the corners of his lips upturning slightly.

So, with the pen, you draw a line over the words, scoring it off once and for all as you beam proudly, happy that both of your souls are now joined together again. You pull him in for a long, deep kiss, the bucket list discarded as you lose yourselves in the moment once again.

“Happy birthday, Jjongie,” you say, even if you are a day late.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Something something. The Fix would fit perfectly in Zero Escape/AITSF

[lilimalia]

CRAZY? FOR YOU? // windbreaker

SYNOPSIS... wind breaker men really are crazy aren't they. picking fights everywhere. anywhere. with anyone they can! even, you. it's a good thing you can fight then... right? Maybe there's more then just the fights that their picking at.

CHARACTERS... sugishita kyotaro, togame jo, kaji ren,

DISCLAIMERS... cursing, gender neutral reader, romantic, part II, manga spoilers

BARISTA'S INTEL... again, all based on my silly little depictions of what styles combat each character the best!

CAFE TUNE... from the start // laufey

PART I (sakura, suo, kiryu)

SUGISHITA KYOTARO (wing chun)

Sugishita has always been a man more of anger than actual thoughts. It was one of the more obvious traits that came out of his character at first glance. That being said, it always made him harder to read than any of the other Bofurin men.

His devotion to Umemiya was his pride and power, his driving force that made him understandable... If not a bit genuinely emotional.

So why is that your standing face front of his idol, Umemiya Hajime, watching as the guy bashfully rubs the back of his neck, glancing to the side as he asks,

"You see... Ah, how do I explain this?... Sugishita just needs a little push! Yeah, that's right! Just a little nudge. I'm worried he's spending too much time brooding over how Sakura pisses him off rather than actually practicing...", a small sheepish chuckle leaving his lips as he glances as you. Eyeing you nervously as if the favor was a debt.

Is this really Furin's head? Man... He's wimpish- oh but don't let dear Sugishita hear you say that-

"Anyhow! Are you up for it [Name]? I hope this isn't too much to ask for! I promiseee, I'll pay you back! I'll even have Kotoha make you an omurice! On the house!" He's clasping his hands together now, looking at you pleadingly as he scoots in, dress shoes scrapping against the rooftops dirty cobble.

Man... It's really hard to deny him, isn't it, Sugi?

"First off, are you even sure Kotoha would be okay with that?? I know you guys are close, but man I'd be pissy if someone made me return their favor without notice- Also, hey! Your acting as if I'm all hard headed, I'll do it! Just please... Stop looking at me like that. It's gross... And very unfitting for the leader of a gang school..." you grimace, sneering a little -against your will- sighing at his pitiful puppy eyes.

"Ohhh... Kotoha wouldn't mind at all! We're sooo close! My little sister would be thrilled to help me! But! You'll do it?! Thank goodness! Thank you! Oh phew... I can finally tell Hiragi too chill out without a worry!" Now he's bounced up to his proper height, blocking out the sun as he jumps in joy, giving you a close eye smile.

"Thanks [Name]! Please go easy on Bofurin's loyal dog! Now shoo, shoo! Since we've taken care of this, I've got zucchini to water!..." Without a second thought, he pushes you, gently, out the door, shooing you as he waves a frantic goodbye.

The door slams behind you with a thud.

Once again, your sitting in your own thoughts, stuck dumbstruck at the sheer... Naivety, even if feigned, of Umemiya. Actual whiplash, you suppose.

Finding a heavy sigh release from your lungs again, your vision adjusts to the dark staircase winding down to the third floor of the school. Strangely, there's something, or someone... Propped up against the wall, mid way through the staircase.

Taking a couple steps down, your eyes narrow.

"Hmph."

Oh my god it's Sugishita-

"What the fu- Sugishita!? Goodness gracious you're like some sort of ghost- Wha- What are you even?-" before your able to stammer out the rest of your surprised exclamation, Sugishita glares at you. His hauntingly long ghoulish hair draping down his face, as he grunts.

He barely glances back, locking eyes with you once, scanning you up and down. Holding onto the moment, for a couple seconds longer, he huffs again and stomps up the rest of the flight of stairs. Crunched over in bad posture.

"What the heck was even going on there... he's so creepy..." murmuring to yourself as you finish walking down the stairs, listening to Umemiya's ecstatic voice dim into the distance.

Suo and Nirei had told you he was a bit of the brute.

You just hope Umemiya knew who he was assigning you to.

...

Sparring with BoFurin comes with evident chaos.

Grunts and shouts echo across tatami covered floors, windows blazing open as pairings of sweaty exhausted fighters sway back and forth across the rooms.

Your dead set in the middle, having just taken a break from your first partner, scouting for Sugishita per captain's orders.

Hiragi finds you first, walking up to you in his usual state of prolonged stressed.

"[Name]! Are you looking for Sugishita? That damned brat was stationed outside with some of the other members."

"Oh? Are you not watching them Hiragi, sir?" You're taking a noticing to his unique sharpened teeth... Like a shark. Wondering, can he bite someone with those? Would Sugishita be able to do that too?... His teeth are just as sharp aren't they?...

A sharp barking sound wakes you from your daze.

"Hey! Wake up! Umemiya said you'd be the one sparring with him today, teach him a thing or too, okay? That brats got way too much bite on him. Needs somewhere to chew it off. Go on, scat! Beat him in for me!" Hiragi chatters up a storm, motioning you away, shooing you to the exit as you jog out of the building.

What is it with the leading men here demanding things and shooing you off? Hmm...

Immediately after stepping outside, the hot air hits you like a wave. Absolutely ironically. If it wasn't bad enough that you were sweating buckets from sparring, the Japan heat would most definitely take you out.

From the side, you hear outrageous slams, hard disgruntled and pained sounds as you feel a slight shaking of the dirt beneath your boots.

When you've swiveled your head towards the noise, you see several upperclassmen twitching slowly and painfully... laying gruesome and distraught on the ground.

Holy sh-

Sugishita's running up towards another student, poorly defended, jumping high into the air as he brutely lands a devasting blow smack damn to the side of his face.

You. Were most definitely. Screwed.

But more so concerned-

Isn't he usually lazed in fighting?... Unless it had direct connection to his famed idol, you really couldn't understand where the sudden boost of energy came from...

"[Name]! [Name]! You're here! Please help us out, switch in with Sugishita right now! He might just kill half of our classmates [Namee]!!..." Nirei's ran up frantically beside you, making dramatic fanfare as he pleads.

Cracking your knuckles, you sigh fearfully, once more nodding at those damned begging puppy eyes, stepping forward.

"Sugishitaa!"

...

Okay so maybe this wasn't so bad.

So far, you've managed to stay alive. Watching ever so keenly at the bent over black haired boy glare at you. He does this weird thing with his eyes... As if he's daring you to take him down.

He runs, he punches, and then he forces all his strength down on you all over again.

If Umemiya had wanted you to push him and his thinking, you would.

He's stepping forward now, bracing himself angrily as he yells in rage, permanent scowl on his face furrowing even more at his bushy brows. He spins his kick, trying to land one at your side.

Gracefully, you push into his momentum anticipating his already raised fist, ready too gut you in the face.

With one quick movement and then another, his parade of punches are narrowed away. Your hands, flat and straight, palm's facing out each way as you flick his fists away effortlessly.

The more you redirected, the angrier he got, pushing into you as he tries to find some sort of opening.

Eventually, out of realization, he takes to backing up, making space for kicks and uses outside of savage shots.

Unfortunately, you knew otherwise. Pushing in to keep your wing chun usable. As he tries to step in again, quick to throw another, you palm faces in.

A rapid palm strike going forward.

And it knocks him back off his feet, as he falls miserably. Now you've really ticked him off... He's glaring, messy long hair dancing down the front of his face, covering his fierce eyes as he stares you down. His teeth grind together as he lets out some sort of angry emotional grunt-

Spinning into a kick again, snapping back and forth between legs relentlessly. Switching up his pace to match your quick hands.

Shit. Now he's learning a little too quick for your liking.

Desperately, you look for an exit, as your hands start reddening from the sheer force of his brutality.

He's opened his field of vision, keeping good distance away from you as you struggle to keep the fight within the courtyard.

A small group of onlookers have gathered around you both now, members hooting at you both to finish it off. Murmuring about how beastly Sugishita's strength was.

The more you tried to make good distance, the more he'd learn. Catching on quickly, your palm strikes and attempts at striking the side and front of his body were failing, as he -you hope learned- to keep good balance between his body.

In your momentary distraction from the crowd, classmates chanting your names both, he had found an opening below your waist.

Diving in sanctuary as he wrapped his arms around your waist, your hands left upwards from your wing chun as he tightened.

For a second, it felt quite safe as he squished, grunting exhaustedly, almost sweetly, around you. It almost felt like a hug, surprised, you found your arms wrapping around him as well. The faint scent of some sort of... Yuzu? Sandalwood? Wafted up, as strands of his hair flicked in your face, wafting away as he looked up at you.

And you swear. His berserked eyes softened slightly, and his frown disappeared.

Before you both fell, bruised on the ground.

...

When all of the crowd had faded away, giving congratulations to you both for the good effort of the fight, Hiragi and Umemiya approach you. Umemiya's got a bright smile on his face, laughing about something -probably about you and Sugishita- to Hiragi, who looks pained to even be near the bright man.

Considering Umemiya's appearance, you now understand where the sudden burst of spirited energy came from.

Really, it shouldn't surprise you that Sugishita's drive came from Umemiya's watchful gaze; arms crossed as he stood tall behind you, smirking knowingly.

The conversation comes quick and clear, Umemiya congratulating you and giving many thanks towards your bruised efforts, making a jab towards how relaxed Hiragi was inside the building while you were out scrapping for your life.

"Maybe we should have you as permanent watch dog for Sugishita [Name]! I've never seen him so pumped up! Man, that was really the show!"

"The only reason he was fighting so hard was because of you Moron! He saw you staring him down and wanted to impress you dumbass! Now look at them, [Name] make sure you head inside and put something on those bruises. Sorry you had to deal with this idiot's brilliant plan..." Hiragi lets out a big sigh, grabbing for his pack of pills as he crunches down on the powdery capsule.

Is that... Normal-

"Hey! This whole idea was for your sake Hiragi! Your always so uptight I was worried having you watching the freshmen would turn you bald!" Umemiya points and accusing finger at Hiragi, faking a pout.

"It's not even these new kids Umemiya! It's just Sakura and Sugishita, their all-fucking nuts!"

Now, Hiragi's got his sharp teeth pointed out as he groans back at Umemiya. The two continue arguing for minutes while your forced to stand there awkwardly... It seems very one-sided, Umemiya trying to justify how he was only worried for Hiragi, only to get a hit to the head.

Suddenly, those bruises on your body are really started to ache.

"I uh- Is this an argument you guys need me to be there for... Or can I-

'Huh? Oh, look what you've done Hiragi! We've left poor [Name] all by their lonesome. Yes, yes, go on now [Name]! Thanks again! Please check up on Furin's dear loyal dog for us would you!" He flashes a bright smile towards you, giving you a thumbs up as he starts dragging the angry Hiragi stood beside him, fume puffing out from his nose as his forehead creases.

Before Hiragi gets to argue back, he's pulled away, shut off again as you hear bits and pieces of the compliments Umemiya gives you about your fight, covering over his begrudging complaints.

...

Sitting down on the hard wooden floor, your arm move swiftly as you wrap the rough cotton tape around your knuckles, the healing ointment, sheer and oily, spreads underneath the bandages, cooling down the aching of you reddened knuckles. Like wise bandages are wrapped around your waist and knees from the less graceful falls of earlier.

There's a slight humming of birds that twiddles in from the open windows, cooler air breezing through the house as the sun sets in warm oranges outside. Beside you, Sugishita sits quietly, eyebrows still furrowed as he tries to hide his struggle, unable to wrap the bandages around his left knuckles.

It's hard to ignore him when he's aggressively huffing beside you, his long legs sprawled out forward and his again- very sharp shark like teeth, gnaw at the fraying ends of the sports bandages.

It's so tempting to study his face... Really, teeth that sharp make his pretty brown eyes stand out. Fierceness from his dark eyebrows as his brown eyes are encapsulated from his dark silky-smooth hair. The yellow light peeking through the window shines on parts of his raven hair, reflecting gorgeous tones of dark blue as he blinks. If you could just get a closer look at his long eyelashes too-

Oh no. Now you've been staring too long.

He grunts and growls and sharply turns his head.

And now you're the focus of those charming brown eyes.

"What."

Oh my goodness. He speaks.

"I- Uh- Did you... Want help?"

He huffs, and for a second you panic, thinking the worst, that you've offended him and pissed him off.

"Sure... I guess." He chokes out, shifting his head away quickly too look out elsewhere. Did you embarrass him?

Oh, but be quick now, you're losing your chance [Name]. Wasting no time, you scoot yourself in towards him, closing the space between you two until your knees are just barely scrapping each other.

He's still looking out the window, and his stupidly elegant hair is too long, blocking you from reading his expression as it tumbles past his sharp nose. A short sniff of some sort of distain you guess, as you tap his hand in warning.

Grabbing it gently, you unroll the mess of bandages he had made before. The ointment now all messy and sticking to your hands as you toss the wettened bandaids.

His hands are very smooth...

Grabbing the box of supplies, you try not to focus on how long and nimble his fingers are. Trying, well, attempting to focus instead on spreading the healing cream between his... Very, smooth knuckles and the tips of his fingers. His nails are also well kept, but the only part of it that was unsightly, yet beautiful, was the dried paled parts of his first two knuckles. Calloused white and paler then the rest of his hand, there's evidence of previous scrap ups that remained permanently. It's pretty, you think, and a trophy of his personality.

"Tell me if it's uncomfortable alright? This sort of cream works better when it's massaged in..." You murmur, lifting your head up as his striking eyes cast against yours.

God, he made it so hard to look directly at him.

"It's... Fine. Do whatever. Tch." He bleats out, eyebrows again furrowing as he looks at you.

As you take to palming the fingers on his hand, spreading the ointment, you fail to notice the slight undeniable tint of pink that shades his high cheekbones, as he stares at you, softening his gaze.

The awkward seconds of silence between his curt response doesn't last long, as he clears his throat and grunts again,

"Your... Fighting earlier. It was... Good."

"Thank you, I tried, to um- Well to make you think, quite honestly", you take care to mind the reddened parts of his arms, scrapped up from the final fall.

"You're not too bad yourself," to which you can already tell he's smiling cockily too,

"What was it? The fast fists thingy"

"Oh that? It was wing chun! You know, it's actually really useful in fighting... The person who made it was this Buddhist monk named Ng Mui who actually was a women! It's a very extricating story actually! Her story on developing the style caused for it being recommended by Bruce Lee... oh, wait I'm blabbing all over again... Sorry!" stammering out, your hands stop as you furrow your face in embarrassment.

His right hand, delicately, taps on your hands too continue, as he speaks,

"No, continue. I want to know."

"Really?..." Now your head has turned up, your other hand blindly grasping around on the ground for the bandaging tape as you lock eyes.

He looks at you in this strange, angry yet longing way, his eyebrows are furrowed, and he seems pissed off, but his eyes. Oh, his eyes. Their locked in on you with this cute peaked interest, shining as you speak. This time, you take notice of his soft pinkened cheeks and the nervousness of his body language.

So, you continue speaking. Wrapping his hands thoughtfully as you retell the history of your fighting style. Recounting the learnings and teachings, explaining why you thought Umemiya even chose you too spar with him. Which he grunts too exasperatedly.

By the time you've finished completely bandaging his sores, you've sat crossed from him, glancing up and down anywhere but his face.

"I hope I didn't bore you through that... I just thought, you'd like to understand why Umemiya made me spar with you. I swear I wasn't trying to steal him away from you or anything!"

Sugishita scoffs a bit, flicking his head to the side as his hair falls away from his face.

"Tch, don't apologize. I don't care. I like your talking."

"Are you? Sure?... I swear I'm not trying to earn brownie points with him. It's not a goal of mine... Honestly, he makes me sort of nervous andalsoI'mnotsureifhe'evenlikesme- Mmph!"

Mid-croaked speech, Sugishita huffs another sigh, pushing his hair back from his face. Leaning in quick, pressing against your lips, opened. Sweet, short, and shocking.

"I- Oh my god- Wow. Um-"

"Let's do this. All of this. Again." He's shocked himself off his feet now, fidgeting with his bandaged hands as he stomps towards the door. The night time sky, dark outside, the only lights coming from the building and the lamps outside.

Turning his head, one quick glance more, he mumbles through his blushed face.

"You’re cute. Stop worrying about it. See you..."

Before you able to scramble to your feet he's scrunched himself over and angrily stomped his way all the way across the street.

"Wait!- What?!-"

You hear the angry slam of the gate.

Touching your lips, there's a slight tang of metal as you run your tongue over where his lips had been. Excruciatingly hot, your whole face becomes.

But now there's a slight nip of blood, where his little vampiric teeth had accidently scrapped.

TOGAME JO (aikido + kung fu)

"You'll wait for me, won't you Kami-chan?"

"Mmm... Maybe. If you remember to come back for me" he teases, grinning his long feline smile as he looks down at you through his shaggy mullet. Black hair dancing softly with the light breeze as fireworks blare up above.

He's slumped over the wooden railing of the arched bridge, gazing out at the red Torii gates as the wood creaked. A small paper bowl dawned Mitarashi Mochi, steaming hot from the vendor as the sticky sweet soy sauce glazed over it glowed under the flickering fireworks.

Flashes of red, greens, and yellows echo above. As you gaze at him, taking in his striking soft lazed eyes. His silly grin molding into a frown as he raises a brow.

"Hmm? What's wrong Tori? Why aren't you responding?", he seems so unbothered by your moving. If only you could tell him, it was him that was distracting you.

"It's just that... Well, what if you forget me?" you mumble, stuffing your face into your sweaters sleeves as you curled on top of the wood.

You don't have to look at him to feel his eyes narrow in some sort of strange annoyance.

"I won't. Even I know better than that [Name]. We've been friends for long enough, haven't we?" Leaning forward, creaking noises barely mix with the loud cacophony of the fireworks.

He stares at the patterned lights of a red heart. The sparks floating away like fairies as they disappear.

You could sit in this moment forever. Soak in the fainting scent of his hair, the boring old public bath soaps mixed with his own strange, food embedded aroma. Something from his love of festivals you had always noticed.

Luminated underneath the sky, his green eyes held sparks of such vibrant color. From the straight, dark gaze he held for a moment, he turned, grabbing your hand with one of his own, grabbing what was left of the mochi with his other, as he looked at you, deeply,

"I'll remember you. So, write to me while you're gone, won't you?"

Lost in his darkened gaze, you only nod, smiling meekly as his hand closes into yours.

It's cold. Very, very, cold.

He's always had cold hands. When he stands up straight, he pulls you in by his side, your hand warming up to his, heat rushing through your finger tips as he palms the front of your hand. Running over the knuckles hardened from your several brawls.

"Come on' at least let me bet ya' one more time before you leave Tori"

With that, the mood blazes a little more, eliciting a giggle from you as he grins and jogs the both of you towards the large, opened sumo mats. Left open for freelancing competitors.

When he lets go of you, it's a lot more noticeably cold. A choke of air left loose from your throat as you reel your hand back. Desperately holding against the urge to grab again at his empty hand. Watching as he turns his back, throwing away the mochi, clueless.

Ducking under the flexing ropes, you both enter, cracking knuckles, stretching legs, grinning childishly.

"I'll get you this time Jo!" Teasing, you bounce on your heels, cart wheeling towards him.

"We'll see about it [Name]... I've been beating you since we were babies, maybe you'll win this time..." His baritone voice drags out the last syllable, watching knowingly as your eye twitches from his annoyance.

"I'll beat you and then send you to the States instead of me Kami-chan!"

"Mmm, we'll see doll"

He hopes you don't notice the way he's jaw is latched shut. The way his eyebrows furrow in annoyance. And especially not the way small crystalline tears dabble his pretty green eyes you so adored.

Realizing that you're leaving him.

...

"I'll be home soon Kami. Do you still remember me?" - Tori

“Ohhh Kame-chan! Kame-chan, Kame-chan! Look what I brought! Ume-chan said the bakery down in their precinct had extras so I brought home mochi!” Choji giggles in playful delight as he jumps up and down.

Watching as his friend crumples a small piece of paper into his palm. Togame takes to it quickly as he shoves it deep inside his Shishitoren jacket. He tilts his head.

...Kame-chan never hides secrets from him. And he certainly had no reason to start now.

"Hmm~? What's that Kame-chan? What is it! It looked important! Was it from Sakura-chan? Ooo, I haven't seen him in forever! I wonder what he's up too-"

"It's... Nothing Choji. Leave it. This isn't for you to see anyways." Togame mumbles, shifting uncomfortably onto one of his wooden sandals. Eyes following off to the side, finding interest in the sky instead of his friend. Shuffling something in his pocket, digging deep into it; indenting the shape of some sort of crumbling.

He was ruining the note!

"Hey! Wait, wait, wait! Kame-chan what's on the notee?! I wanna' know! Give it here! You'll ruin it!" pouting, Choji jumps forward, yanking at the orange letterman jacket. Pulling at Togame's wrists as he tried to reach for the crumbled paper.

"Wait Choji- Hey!-"

Successfully wrestling the note out of his friend's grasp he fumbles over the folded edges, lifting the note up in triumph as he grins and reads,

"I'll be home soon Kami!- Tori, Oof!"

Only to get plundered to the hard concrete rooftop of building.

'Kame-chann! Ow... That hurt! What was that for?!"

"You... Dumbass. That note has nothing important... Leave it alone would ya'..." Furrowing his brows, the emeralds of his eyes narrow as he glares at the folded-out letter in Choji's hand. The last letter of your signature just barely peeking out in a soft stroke of pen.

"It's clearly very~ important if your hiding it from me Kame-chan! Who is it? Who is it? You've never hid secrets before! Ooo... I wonder, is it a lover do you have someone you like Kame-chan? OhwowIcan'timagine-"

"It's not my lover dumbass! It's... From someone. I guess..." Togame groans in exhaustion, watching Choji through colored lenses as he jumps giggling up and down. Bouncing on the fronts of his feet like a little child. All the fanfare as his eyes glow in anticipation, staring deep into his lazed eyes.

Togame swears he felt his eyebrow twitch,

"It's... From an old childhood friend. Okay? Ya' done yet?"

He should of hid that note quicker.

"Oh?! Oh!! Kame-chan has a pen pal! Woahh... Wait, is it that one girl from your old secondary school?! Kame-chan you've got to tell me more than that!" Now he's circling him like a vulture. Tugging on the whites of his sleeve as he twirls in circles around him, all the energy in the world.

Choji would ring this opportunity out of Togame if it was the last thing he did.

"... It is them... I guess. But keep your mouth quiet dumbass. We didn't end on good terms last time around... Anyways, I haven't seen them or talked to them since that letter..." huffing, Togame bends his knees, laying flat on the ground as he put his arms behind. Staring up into the clear sky as he traced over the clouds. Suspiciously heart shaped and fluffy.

"Wahh~... But then doesn't that mean this is your chance to make it up to them?", Choji takes the time out of his boundless energy to plop down beside the tall, clearly saddened man, as he turns and stares. Unblinking.

"Hahh?! Are you kidding me? No thanks... We haven't seen each other in forever. It's stupid... I got all angry and annoyed after they left. I stopped answering their texts and when they tried sending letters I... Just. Couldn't"

A breeze blows a strange chill down Togame's spine.

When he turns to look at Choji, fearing the silence, his face is met with the very, very, chilled and deadly hands of Choji Tomiyama.

His friend had latched his eyes opened, inches away from Togame as he grinned, emotionless. Unfazed. Blankly.

Petrified, Togame forces himself to stare back, eyes opened in near heart attack.

"If you're going to be such a wimp about it. Then I'll make it happen. Myself."

The air stills.

.

.

.

"Haha! Gotcha'! Was that good? That was my pep talk! Ume-chan said good leaders know how to encourage their right hands! Didya' get the message Kami-chan?"

Togame feels his heart skip a beat as the hands gripped tightly over his cheeks let loose as Choji jumps to his feet spontaneously.

"Yeahh... Sure Choji... Uh huh." Recovering from his near shock, he takes the hand extended out towards him.

"It's okay to be scared Kami-chan! All of us are at some point! But sometimes you've got to learn to face your fears head on! You've got me, Sakura-chan, and all of Shishitoren holding you up on your back anyways! Trust in us! We're here for you and your sad romance!"

"There is no sad romance! Ohhh... Never mind"

"Come on Kame-chan! Let's enjoy this mochi before it goes cold. Maybe that'll get your mind off things for a bit!"

Letting out a cold hard sigh of frustration, he follows behind the bumbling child. Watching as Choji leaps through the doors, never looking back. Knowing full well that he'd follow.

It reminds him of how you'd tail behind him.

Back when you two were just friends.

...

When the sky turns bleak in darkness, Choji hums a lullaby as he waits outside the train station, being the only one within radius of the neighborhood Togame lived in.

Scrolling absentminded on his phone, he waits for the intercom to stop it's announcement.

"Arriving, Makochi Station. All passengers may now exit"

Flicking his phone off, he tucks it into his jacket, still having not changed since his meeting with the dark raven haired man.

A devilish grin adorns his face as he zeros in on the person exiting the train. Two large luggage cases trailing behind their person as the curl up the scarf rung over their neck.

Skipping up to them, his grin widens.

"Hiya! Your Tori-chan aren't cha'? Ooo, it's so nice to finally meet you! I'm Choji Tomimiya! Are you lost?"

He leaves you no time to soak in the shock of the name he calls you by.

Watching you keenly as your eyes widen in surprise, not expecting the greeting; your cheeks-stained light pink from the cold of the night. Immediately going into a familiar praying mantis stance. Thumbs and palms folded like knives as you step back cautiously.

"Now hold on! I don't mean harm! I'm Kame-chan's friend! Oh wait- That doesn't help... Togame's friend!"

His eyes gleam mischievously as he watches your eyes widen even more, a gasp puffing from your lips as he clasps his hands together. Rubbing them together like a pesky fly as he skips.

"You and I have so much to talk about!"

The poor, unsuspecting you.

...

When Togame arrives in the dark, gloomy lit room of The Ori his subconsciousness immediately perks up to the appearance of someone, familiar, as their back turned to meet him.

“Hi. Kame-chan”

Your voice has a newfound bitterness he’s not used to, although it was expected. In the back of his mind, he could feel a twitch snap its way up his spine as his eye winced.

When you have fully faced him, a coldness wallowed your eyes. Your lips pressed thin against each other as he watched your shoulders stiffen. An uncomfortable silence crowding the both of you in.

For a while, it seemed like neither of you were going to move. Watching each other blankly as your fists closed. Palming inwards as white crescent shaped imprints were left from your nails.

“Hi. Kame-chan.”

Shit.

This was all Choji’s idea wasn’t it.

Nothing could explain the way you looked at him. Something begging for him in shame.

“Ah, hello. [Name]."

Anxiety bubbles up in his stomach in rippling waves. Choking down the pitiful tears that bubbled up in his stomach, taking a step forward, he watched as your brow twitches.

"So, are you going to explain yourself? Have anything to say to the person you ghosted for months?" Bitter is your voice as it rise, angry, wrathful stomps, following step by step, until your close enough to punch him.

Or even kiss him.

But he doesn't need to know that.

"Aha.. Ha. Listenn [Name], I. A lot of things happened while you were gone, I met new people, had new things to take care of... I'm sor-"

"If you were sorry, you would have replied. You would have answered my letters. You should have answered them."

And now you've backed up, popping your knuckles as you snicker, mocking him as you glared.

"What, were you too awestruck by your new little best friend that you forgot me Kame-chan?"

How much had Choji told you? Anyway, he was really going to kill him one way or another. If he could get past you first.

"Hey. Eyes here Togame Jo. I don't take shitty emotional outrages lightly turtle head. I don't give a damn if you've join some sort of gang or what not, but if you've got a problem with me, we'll fight it out like we've always done" Twisting your neck, cracks resound, bouncing up and down as you take deep breaths, slowing down your racing heart.

Tradition would have it, that whenever you were arguing, as children do, your parents would force the both of you into a padded garage, the mats firm but cushioned as they'd demand you to fix your issues through regulated fights.

For the both of you, this had always been the way fights were fixed. Nothing staged, no parades, no bitter tears, just simple, very simple, rough housing.

It was always natural to you, finding your fix in taking out your anger in the punches, blocks, hard slams onto the mats with him. The five year old versions of you and Togame being snotty emotional babies, taking out your frustrations with tactless takedowns and silly punches.

He doesn't stop to think as he grins, bittersweet. And Togame thinks about how pretty you look underneath even the horrible yellow dim lights of the Ori's theatre stage.

Kicking off the sandals below him, digging the palms of his feet into the cracked wood of the stage, his smile widens. Lazy doe eyes perking up at you, reeling you in, through shaded yellow glasses. Previous sadness dissipating as he watches you bounce, playfully.

That's right, it had always just been you two and your silly little fights, hadn't it. There really was no reason he should have been scared.

Aiming for your leg he ducks, sweeping as you jump over. Swaying like a snake as your hands lift and tuck.

Now you grin too, a nostalgic feeling bubbling in your heart as you watch his black hair flair. Beautiful as he grapples for you, aiming closer and closer.

It really was so hard to be angry at someone as beautiful as him. The next time he aimed for you, you barreled, grabbing at his arm as you throttled him over.

His eyes widen in the split of the second your faces align, watching as his body glides over yours in a swift throw.

God, he admired the way you grinned and chuckled as his body crashed to the wooden floor.

A threatening crack left in the imprint of the stage.

His back was aching.

But for some reason, he was thrilled. No, he knew why. You could see it, as he grunted up from the floor, you backed, still swaying as you pounce towards him. Grappling for his limbs as he backed and tried to his own throw.

For minutes, you two grappled at each other, tiring yourselves out as he crouched lower and lower, as you yanked quicker and stronger.

Fiery passion dancing in unseen ways between the quick glances. Your eyes catching each other's as short looks found their way into your messy brawls. Just like little kids again, you both grinning like maniacs, little children, forgetting the whole reason behind your dirtied fists, crappy stage, and labored breaths.

When it had felt like hours, and the wood planks of the stage had started to tilt under the pressure of your heavy body slams, only then did you both pause to catch your breath. Short, raspy catches of air as your eyes locked.

And the moment holds. Bent over, hands on knees, as he looks at you, hair disheveled and little hair tie lost somewhere in the midst, his bright green eyes glowing brightly as he stares. Watching your hair, splayed out and unkept, clothes dirtied with patches of dirt. Still with a determined look of fierceness held on your gaze. Moment holding, before you both leap at each other, tangling arms and legs.

It takes even longer, as you both tumble to the floor, breaths quickening as limbs lace around each other, trying to find an opening to throw. Rolling around, dirty and grim bulking over each others clothes, as the floor below threatens to give.

When you finally give, throwing your head onto his, knocking the breath out of him as he one final breath gives leeway.

"Ow! Damn it-..."

He glares, your legs crossed over each other as he lays up, propped on his shoulders below you.

You blink.

He blinks.

And suddenly, a quiet rumble erupts, and your both giggling as you stumble over him, lying next to him. Crazed, pure psychotic laughter as your hands cover your face shielding from the light.

He's slow, deep looming tone, echos across the walls as he grins, looking up at the ceiling, eyes droopy as he turns.

"... I, missed you, Tori" This time, you're sure you heard a choked back sob.

"Wait- Hey now... Wait, don't get all sappy on me Togame Jo!" Alarmed, you turn, propping up on one elbow as you clasp your calloused hand at his cheek.

Watching as a tear slides down his cheek.

"...Kami-chan... Are you alright?"

He doesn't reply. Sitting there, watching your dolled face, anxious with worry as you hold his cheek. Everything felt warm, inviting, exciting. And he didn't want it to leave.

"Can we, stay like this?..."

Without hesitation, or need for explanation,

"Of course. Of course we can Kami"

So, you lay back down, staring up at the ceiling looking that the lights as they start to flicker. Wondering whatever happened to the best friend you knew as lazed and cool. It doesn't take long before you hear the shuffling of Togame, long limbed as the beast he is, scooting closer.

The softness of an orange coat floats over you, draping elegantly as you let out a deep sigh.

He looks at you, smiling, body aching, knees giving out, as he turns, facing you, taking in your details as the butterflies in his heart explode like burning pain.

He lifts the orange coat, blackened by design ink and dirt that coats its outside, as he tucks you in.

"I'm sorry"

He thinks.

As he turns upwards, laying on his own arm, thinking about how the wood seemed even brighter than the mornings blue sky.

...

"Woah dude... What was that about? Didja' see that boss? That was crazy!..." Kanuma squeaks, hiding behind his puffed out sleeves as he whimpers behind the wooden door.

"Shhh! Shh! They're gonna hear us if you don't shudd'up idiot!" Arima whispers -yelling through his teeth- trying to peak over the top of his friend.

"Woahh... He did it! He did it! Kame-chan talked to his crush!" A small, fluffy blonde hair boy peaks over the top of the two eavesdropping rats. Pumping up his fists in cheer as he grins maniacally.

"Wait- What? Boss that's Togames crush?! That's crazy... There's no way!" Almost fearful, Kanuma ducks behind the wall.

"No, it totally is guys...! When I talked to them yesterday, they told me about how they used to like him when they were kids... Just look at them. Their totallyy in love!~" The blonde boy snickers, sticking out his tongue at his friend as he watched the lover birds sleep.

Trying to peak again, Kanuma looks over Choji's head, squinting at the two lying forms. A sudden twitching motion coming from Togame as his eyes flicker, turning slowly to the sound of rustling clothes.

"... Uh oh! I think he noticed us guys! Scatter! Kame-chan's gonna kill us if he knows we were eavesdropping" Choji tip toes out of the line of sight as he gives a closed eye smile. Putting up a finger as he motions to be quiet. Scampering off with the two mischievous members tailing close behind, giggling like children again.

Togame Jo would not be hearing the end of it any time soon.

KAJI REN (capoeria (e.g of reader (cw: indecency) MANGA SPOILERS

Kaji Ren hates stupid people.

He hates stupid people with an ego even more so.

Thinking about it makes him even more ticked off, which doesn't help the crowd he's with at all.

There are bruises traced all over his face, purple as they start to darken. His mouth is parched, his bottom lip is busted and bleeding slightly as the iron taste touches his tongue. A sharp iron taste lacing itself in his mouth as he wipes the blood pouring out the scraps on his face and skin.

Stuck between two boys, who seem quite obviously ages older than him; cornered him towards the large jungle gym. His back pressing up slowly against the cold metal bars. Their eyes preying as they snickered, cracking their knuckles in viciousness. Having already landed harsh, unfair blows at his back and chest. His wrists ached from where they had iron gripped at, leaving red marks. His legs wobbled slightly as he backed, he was sure he could feel more bruises forming.

"Where's your little protector now Kaji? You're not all that scary without Hiragi anymore are ya' punk", the taller of the two boys, spits, getting his saliva all over the wood chips decorating the floor.

Really, Kaji Ren can't stand nasty little idiots like him. Pieces of the cocky bastards' spit got over his cheek, gross and slimy as his eyes narrow. Swiping at the disgusting remanence with his school uniforms sleeve, it stains the cuffs.

Spitting back, "Get the hell away from me moron." Kaji tries to duck underneath the two boys.

Only, behind them were several other upper classmen, all dressed in a strange coat printed with some design of a blacked-out snake, curling in on itself. The logo of their gang he guesses. Damn it, as he tries to swerve away from the group of teens the more they close in. His headphones had already been off as they had died hours ago, having forgotten to charge them before heading out, much to his annoyance.

Hiragi had told him to contain his anger, tune out the dumb people with his headphones and music, hold his tongue from starting fights with lolipops and sweets to chew on. Yet, his headphones would be no help and there were far too many people trying to instigate with him for him not to start a fight. Especially when his body was already battered and bruising as he tried to stand up right.

The shorter of the boys, freckle face and yellow hair, perked up, inching closer as he grabbed at Kaji's collar.

"What happened little boy? Where's all that bark now huh??- Guess those rumors your short temper were all yap huh. Come on now! Show us your rage, your anger." Lifting him up in the air, Kaji grimaces, closing his fists tight as he tries to struggle loose. Suspended in air, moments last.

A strong back handed fist landing the boys nose as he drops down and back.

"Ow- Fuck! You damn brat!" Blood leaks from the boys nose, a strange joint sticking out as he covers his nose. Eyes widening at the awkward angle it held.

"Fucking! Damn it don't just stand there! Get that fucking dog in a cage!"

Several of the members jump at the command, charging at the white hair boy with bats in hand. Closed fists, weapons of wood, and blood thirsty looks on their face as they push past the wounded teen.

Twisting his body he launches into the air, careful to hold onto his headphones as he lands, kicking members from every side.

His knuckles flame and burn as he lands blows, screaming bloody murder, words muffled; hell, if he knows what he's saying. His body manipulates like a ballet, twisting and spinning as he jumps to dodge and throws with full intent. Every muscle in his body aching as his legs collide with the onslaught of members. Kicks sending back several at a time as he sweeps below. Ducking under one before launching up to round house another.

The air gets colder the longer he stays outside. It's almost completely black when the streetlights turn on. Everyone tucked away in their homes.

Out of nowhere a punch connects with his jaw, sending up sideways.

Standing up, he wobbles, trying to get back his vision at his attacker(s). His jaw is stinging with numbing pain; almost broken he thinks. But it's nothing he hasn't had before.

Limping, his back curves to a straight stand, trying to clasp back his fists. A fatigue enveloping him as he tries to stand. Only to have someone yank him from behind, strong and quick as he lands on the wooden chips of the playground. His coat flaying off him with the attacker. A scream releasing from his lips as pieces poke sharply into his back.

"Damn it..."

His throat hurts from violent pain, labored breathing leaving him as he tries to calm himself.

1...

2...

3...

Everything fades. Every little breath he counts as he tries to stop the blurring of his eyes, widened in fear as the blackened shadows approach him.

He can't lose it again.

Where are they? Where are the headphones? His lollipops even? He can't feel anything.

Where are they?

The headphones. Their gone, they're not on his neck, his eyes blur even more, eyebrows raising as he frantically stands, stumbling as he grips around his neck, looking for them.

"Looking for this little boy?" The taller teen steps forward, headphones, pale white, in hand as he sneers.

"Give. Those. Back. You fucking moron!"

Prancing around him, dancing with a sing song-y voice, the boy taunts,

"Come and get em' doggy"

Fuck. He can't see, everything is blacking out, he can't lose them. Not now, not yet, Hiragi didn't give him those precious headphones just for them to be taken away.

He couldn't disappoint Hiragi like this. Not like this. Anything but the headphones. Anything but that pitch blackness and the bodies that would pile up when he woke.

It's too late, he's already losing control of himself. He can't even feel his arms anymore. He feels dazed, let lose. Black dots stabbing at his vision as the last of the men trail in, crouched low as they sneer and snicker. Taunting. Enticing. Looking down.

On him.

What would Hiragi think? Kaji apologizes in his head. Feeling the last of his consciousness fading away as his muscles relax.

"Sorry... Hiragi, sir..."

For a second the world slows as he tilts, falling lightly. It's almost peaceful.

.

.

.

"Waitt-!!"

"Stay alive dude! You've got this, hold on!"

Flashes of clothing appear. A sudden figure leaping towards the rest of the gang, fists tight as they move in weird dissonance. Their legs bent and swaying like a snake.

It wakes Kaji.

Whoever they were, they didn't stop to check if he was still awake. Or if his legs were still holding up him. They kept bouncing up and down, flairs of all sorts, cartwheels and tornado kicks combined.

They moved like a dance, cutting off each member slowly as they jumped and leaped. Taking the stage as they landed kicks across every member. Bodies dropping one by one as each kick and punch landed.

Violent pulses of coughs left from their victims, short, asphyxiated breaths. His legs gave out watching them. Vision returning slowly in color as they watched the way the darkened figure danced. It felt like anything but a fight, much more graceful than his. It felt staged, long lasting, as they took out men with their long loose limbs. The power felt almost raw, beautiful, but untamed and violent in a way even he could understand.

Until finally, the very last member stood. The very boy that had taken his headphones off. Quaking in fear as his knees buckled, hands held high as he tried to run.

"Hey! Come back here dummy! Why are you so scared? I'm not done yet!" Grinning, you launch upwards, flipping dramatically as you land. Cascading down like a little fairy as you smile in a sadistic glee.

Pinpoint on his back, leg first.

His head hitting the floor in a disgusting, awestruck crack.

“… Uh oh. Is he alright?! Shoot, I didn't kill him did I...? Shit” you mutter under your breath.

Despite your word a devilish smile entertained your face. It was almost horrific the way you sat on the poor boy's back.

Kaji watches you sit in silence for minutes muttering under your breath before you snap back to reality. Jumping up spontaneously; surprising Kaji as he sits up right, before you yank out the white headphones, inspecting them.

Giving a little kick at the bodies arm, you reach out with your empty hand, feeling for the certain beat of his heart with your two fingers. Inspecting the pulse as you hummed, strangely unbothered.

When you were satisfied, a grin left of your face from where Kaji could see, you skipped towards him. Headphones in hand you bent down all bubbly as you smiled and offered him a lending hand.

"Hiya! Are you okay dude? Was a bit worried back there to be honest! I thought you died or something..." A nervous chuckle left your, very pretty lips, Kaji noticed, hyper focused on the way they moved as you went on bumbling,

"Do you need... Bandages? Water?... Does it hurt a lot?"

Something about the way you spoke held him in a weird trance. You were mesmerizing. Maybe it wasn't even just the way you spoke, but the way you looked. The way you acted. Maybe even, especially the way you completely saved him from months of regret and wallowing in his own self pity. Something about the way you fought and the way you were looking over his face and knuckles. Eyes keen on his bruises that decorated his cheeks made his face feel warm.

There was an unfamilar fuzzy feeling bubbling in his stomach. Was this... Anxiety? Now? It was weird. It didn't feel exactly like times before. But still, he felt something that was new and foreign. Something that he wasn't sure he enjoyed.

Your eyes are glued to his knuckles next, turning over his hands to inspect his palms, and he notices the way your eyes furrow and you continue to mutter under your breath.

Now he just feels like a creep-

"I- Um- H-hey, let go of me!! It's nothing I swear- I'm used to it by this point! -"

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt you any less! Don't say things like that! Trust me, I've had my fair share of fights too... Getting treatment makes the recovery process easier than you think!"

"But-" He starts.

"Shut up! Nope. Be quiet! Here, take this, we'll get you something for the bruises and then I guess we can also repair these-" holding out your hand, you hand him back the headphones. This time, their scrapped and chipped by the sides, only noticeable if you looked closely. But still. It hurt Kaji a little to see them even remotely damaged. What sort of person was he to ruin Hiragi's gift like that?

Not noticing his little frown and the way he narrows his grey eyes to squint at the damages, you pocket out a couple hundred yen. Handing him the money as you chuckle, watching his face flush pink underneath the moonlight.

His eyes dart shyly elsewhere you could see the way his cheeks puffed slightly as he avoided your gaze. Sweetly, they looked absolutely squishable, it took everything not to reach out and grab.

"Hey! [Name]! Where are you ya' damn brat...! My friends are waiting and I am not having your family yell at me for leaving you out here in the dark!"

Shit-

"Coming! I'm coming! Hold on!-" turning your head quickly towards the voice your eyes shock open. Looking back, you smile quickly at Kaji, whose head is tilted, curious as he stares.

"Sorry I gotta' go pretty boy! See you around?... Till next time!"

Running away quickly waving your hand high above the air, flickers of the moonlight glows across your air as it reflects off. Before he blinks you've run off as fast as you appeared.

Leaving him confused, flushed red as his stammers a breath.

Looking down at the wad of yen in his hand, he notices a small tab, a sticker. The image of a white rabbit, a popular character that the girls in his year always had merch of. Its eyes looked almost soulless, staring back at him with its little x-cross shaped mouth.

"Cute..."

He thought. The blush on his cheeks growing redder as he stood in the light, staring at the gift left by his little savior. He should have asked for your name...

Peeling the paper off its smooth backing, he sticks it in the middle of his headphones, right center as it covered over the most noticeable of the scratches.

Man, he really wished he had asked for your name now.

...

"Alrrrright Kaji sir! Firrrst yearrrs are surrveying the norrrth homes! Grrrandma Sato rrreporrted her daughterr was missing sir! Let's search around the marrrkets arrea! Gram'ma said she was sent over therrre last." Enomoto yells, fiercely as he jabs a finger towards the pastry stores up ahead.

A smell of fresh bread hints itself in the air. Motioning to Kusumi with a few quick words, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket he nods. Kaji scampers off quickly as he sighs, adjusting his headphones. Sucking hard on a pink lolipop, his lips pop slightly as he runs.

The old women lost her poor baby cat every other day. Not to confuse the way she described her daughter, the animal in her possession was indeed a white feline.

On days where patrol was slow, and the only calling for Kaji was the needing for his and Bofurin's athletic prowess, he'd find himself walking straight past that park.

Looking longingly as he scoffs, noticing the way the wooden chips dipped softly, just barely noticeable, right next to the metal bars of the big jungle gym.

If it wasn't for the fact he had a job to do, and people he'd much rather not disappoint, he'd find a seat, right on the very tip of those cold metal bars as he dangled his legs over. Turning up his music to a certain lovecore playlist replaying that very night back in his head over and over. Humming slightly to some overseas American artist, Laufey.

He was never a fan of soft lullaby songs, all pathetically whimsical as they sang of love and possibilities.

But, months after that very scramble, he'd found a couple pragmatic online posts about the white little rabbit, stickered onto his headphones. Apparently, the girls who loved the so-called mascot rabbit 'Miffy' were systematically linked to artists associated with Laufey or lovecore.

As much as he'd love the posts to be proven wrong, the playlists always did reminded him of his first love.

He'd always spend the time, staring down at the floor, closing his eyes as music blasted, thinking about how your hands had been so very warm against his own. How bright you giggled as you were nervous, and how pretty your hair looked against the moonlight.

Kaji, oh dear captain of his year, was head over heels for a person he'd only met once.

And by gods, was it horribly embarrassing.

Slowing down from his jog, Kaji stares at the park. Pausing for a quick minute,

"It's just for a quick breath" He thinks.

His cheeks puff slightly at his amusing thought, slight tint of pink as he shakes his head angrily. Huffing a breath of annoyance, as he thinks;

Patrol comes first.

Out of the corner of his eye, mid thought, there comes the shine of something white. A small instant flash as the figure bounces across the wooden chips onto the small road.

"Darn it... There she is"

It doesn't take a second longer, as Kaji runs towards the movement. Watching the little naughty cat pounce across the road. Stopping to look back and give a teasing stick of the tongue. Damn Grandma, she spoiled this cat way too much.

Running after Risa, the flicker of her tail tucks as she ducks under stalls and their produce stands, scampering across the market place.

"Hey! Come back here damn it!"

Tripping over loose rock, he runs to catch up with the slimy rascal. Together as they duck under trashbins and banners, flipping over buildings as he yells. Just a few steps short as Risa bends underneath some bridge, skittering to a stop as Kai jumps down. Only for her to jump right back up as she pause once more, blinking innocently as she mews and sits pretty and perched. Kaji's sure he seems like a maniac now. He's yelling at the stupid cat as if it'll slow down, watching as he finally climbs up onto the bridges railings, nearly tripping again as he finally catches up to Risa behind a darkened part of the neighborhood.

A neighbor of the lower tax bracket, as litter is scattered on the floor, and a few abandoned houses and an amassed amount of weeds and strangling plants left alone as he watches the pearl cat finally sit still. Stuck right in front of him as she licks her paw, glancing at him in a sneering amuse he swears is an insult about his intelligence.

Mewling all sweet and baby-like, she beckons him to come closer. Watching him slowly crotched, annoyingly scoff as he rips open another lolipop. Having lost his previous one in the chase.

It's sour flavor of lemon pinches his tongue's tastebuds, souring his expression more as he starts to stomp fiercely towards the mocking kitten.

"Hey!... Look dude! A white cat! Aren't those like, superrr expensive?" a voice calls out, the small of a head of hair peeking overtop the overgrown weeds. A snicker comes with, and before Kaji and let out another tsk of annoyance, a group of guys about his age pops out behind the tall grasses.

One by one teens, Kaji guesses third years, stampeded towards Risa, gossiping in loud tones as they crouch, narrowing in on Risa.

He doesn't like the way they look at the cat, eyes preying in on her white fur like a prize, like predators.

"I'm sure it'll make for some good cash guys..."

"Hell yeah it will! Senior folk go crazy for cats this colo..-"

"Hey! What do you guys think you're doing?!" suddenly, another voice chimes in, it sounds... Almost familiar to him.

He takes the surprise of the guys to his advantage, sweeping up Risa in a quick swift motion.

She yowls in protest, echoing across the fields. Kaji's suddenly grateful he still has his headphones on, the muffling feature in full works.

Glaring at the guys, flashes of angry shouts come as they run towards him. Based on their reactions, he's almost certain they're yelling at him for stealing their cash cow-

Cash cat?-

Kaji doesn't get the chance to think before he grips his arms tightly around the soft kitty. Careful not to hurt her as he dodges out of the way, trying to make a mad dash towards the Bofurn plaza.

There were better days and better times to pick a fight. Even Kaji could tell, especially when he was carrying a very fussy and prickly cat that was very keen on escaping.

Trying to turn his back, he fails to notice the sound of a whole body slamming into the dirt ground. Several more shouts erupting as some sort of flashy black shadow twirled and danced, kicking towards the older guys.

Before he's able to run far, someone grabs at the back of his hoodie, yanking him to the floor as Risa panic, hissing violently.

"Shit! Come here Risa-chan... Sorry-"

He's lifted and turned around as a punch collides with his face.

Crap.

In the brief last second, he somehow shakes free, taking the punch as he feels his lip bruising.

Scurrying backwards he sees his attacker holding Risa by the scuff of the neck, perking their lips outwards in a taunt.

Risa's claws are just short of reaching his face as she hisses in frustration, swinging wildly as her claws extend.

"Shoot... Damn it. The cat!" Whisper yelling underneath his breath, he pops off his headphones as he runs towards the attacker. Throwing raw punches towards his opponent while trying to carefully pick Risa back up.

Blows exchange as he tries to step in front of Risa, having been let down as the grip loosened. When Kaji had finally noticed the other attackers had been laying on the floor unmoving and a shadow was curb stomping them almost breathless, he yelled

"Hey damn it! What's taking you so long?! Help the cat!"

The figure whips around confused,

"Oh shi- Sorry! Didn't know there was still more!"

Giving a swift low kick to make sure the men were still unconscious the person joined, flipping wildly into cartwheels as their knees bent. Raw jagged movements left your body as you confused the man in front of you. Striking at key targets hitting the arteries that would stun him as you aimed.

Kaji once securing the pretty cat, joined, holding the cat in both arms as he spun as well, kicking sporadically.

Together you both danced around the man, mixing styles in sychrony as you paraded over the blood leaking out of noises and cuts. The attacker blocks over and over, lifting his hands up as he tries to run.

"Shit- Sorry! Sorry! Okay I get it! I'll leave!"

It doesn't take long for the coward of a man to run, legs wobbling as he quickly picks himself up, flipping you off as he runs.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips, only for your eyes to shock open widely, searching for your partner in crime.

"Oh dude! Are you okay? You aren't hurt are you?"

As you inch towards the boy, you notice locks of silver hair, and a pair of headphones you had long looked for.

"Holy shi- your that pretty boy from the park!"

...

For Kaji, this coincidental moment felt like a whole years worth of voices silenced. When the shadow had disappeared from your face, his eyes widened, his cheeks flushed, and his grip on Risa loosened.

It was almost a miracle the cat hadn't tried to run off again.

You, you were there.

In front of him.

And this time you weren't fighting for his safety but had done it with him. Suddenly, he almost felt bashful. Embarrassed as he scuffled to his feet, mouth left open as he struggled to respond.

"Hi..."

Damn it Kaji Ren, that was absolutely moronic. His palms are sweaty, and he can feel Risa's fur sticking to it. He can tell his pupils are dilated as he hyperventilates. Staring at you in awe as replays what happened. Your beautiful flair kicks that had caught his attention, coming back to reel him in for more as he fought.

The chemistry you shared, the way your hair was disheveled even less than the last time, and the way your face had matured. Small features that had changed, indications of the time between when you guys had met.

A weird feeling bubbles in Kaji's stomach, turning and twisting in a way that made him confused. Did he want it to stop? Or was he just crazy?

Your eyes look even prettier in the sunset, with the scene of old dark houses shining against them. Your own face perks up curiously,

"Hey uh- Are you just gonna stare?..."

"I uh- Shit. Sorry, um yeah I am that guy... Ya' know... The one you saved last time" Shit, he thinks his voice cracked. Did it crack? Was he hallucinating again?

"No no I remember! I'm just surprised to see you on this part of town... I'm guessing by the uniform you joined Bofurin! Is the cat a neighbor's then?" A smile laces your lips as you inch closer, lifting your index finger to scratch underneath Risa's chin.

As you inchd, Kaji could feel his breath cut. A sharp cut of his unsteady breathing, as his whole body stiffened, almost too aware of how close you were to him.

It feels like hours watching you scratch at the cat in his arms. Right... The cat, not him. It's the cat your paying attention to.

Why is there a stingy sensation now? What is it with all these emotions. It's pissing him off. The weird bubbly feeling replacing itself with a weird giddiness and a hint of something he could only think was jealousy.

Of a cat? How stupid...

When you finish, you stand up straight, grinning even more brightly at the cute kitty time.

"Hey- If you need to return the cat now, how about I walk with you to your side of town? I feel like this meeting was just an absolute sign we were supposed to get to know each other!"

Clasping your hands together, Kaji's whole face erupts in a fierce red, a slow nod as he turns his head away, hiding shyly as his cheeks puff abnormally.

You could almost see the steam bubbling out of his ears.

"S-sure... But just to return the cat!" he babbles, trying to hide his warming ears as he shoves his headphones over his ears with one hand, struggling to put them on all the way.

"Hehe, if that's what you want!" You giggle, reaching out again to pet the sweet soft kitty in his arms. Reaching up once more to readjust his headphones.

All while Ms. Risa sleeps peacefully, and your hair brushes past Kaji's nose, warm hands clasping near the cuffs of his ears by accident as you push the headphones on fully. A glimpse of the bunny sticker showing itself to you as you do so.

A happiness boils inside your chest. Almost a sense of pride as you take notice how yours is the only decoration upon his grey headphones.

And how clean the sticker held up.

A soft smile lifts from his flushed face. Listening to your coos as Risa yawns. He chuckles to himself, thinking again about how awesome you were as you fought, as he timidly reaches out a pinkie. Shifting his grip on the cat as he moves.

Looking away quite obviously, he hooks his pinky with yours as you two walk.

Neither you nor him notice the flushing cheeks and the averted gazes as you hold pinkies.

Short and sweet contact, yet all the warmer as speckles of pink and red dances across your cheeks both.

...

"So, Kajiii whose the new perrrson?!" Enomoto yells, shaking Kaji violently as he spits accidently across his face. For the past hour, since the return of Kaji, his face had been stricken with uncontrollable fear. Thinking his captain had gotten lost.

Only to meet Kaji with a whole essay of questions.

'Yeah, yeah! Tell us Kaji!' A text message rings from Kusumi, his grin widening by the minute as he captures photos of Kaji's red flustered face.

"You neverrr said anything about your crrrush dude! This is crrrrazy! Did Hirrragi sir know about this?! Damn did you leave us out of it Kaji?!" Relentlessly Enomoto shakes, hands quivering at the thought of it all. Kaji Ren with a partner.

"S-Shuddap'! Their not a crush!! I just-"

"What's this I hear?! Kaji you have a crush now?!"

Shit.

Hiragi's face explodes as he drops the plant he holds. Umemiya following close behind as his face drops in horror.

For the plant or for Kaji, he doesn't know.

But he knows he's screwed for sure, looking over to the side of the balcony as you come towards him, smiling as you lift up a hand, showcasing the cute white bunny sticker sheets as you skip.

Maybe he is crushing. Just a little.

SPECIAL BREWS...

Tori-chan // Togame nicknames [reader] as Tori-chan as he views them as someone sweeter than him. Tori or Torii refers to the red gates found in Japanese Shinto shrines. It's a nice play on his monk like religious persona

Kami-chan // [Reader] refers to Togame as Kami as it means paper but also gods/divine beings. For reader and Togame I wanted to symbolize their relatiionship with small religious monikers. Reader also thinks of Togame being laid back and loose limbed like paper, which Kami can also mean!

Lovecore // I wanted to show how innocent and dreamy Kaji's love was. In comparison to his harsh personality, I also headcannon he's the type of guy to listen to music to reminsce and remember his s/o <3. Also just think that lovecore playlists are bangers that remind me of cute character like Miffy and such (I def was not listening to lovecore playlists writing this)

BARISTA'S INQUIREMENT... part II of two! not proof read... Was supposed to be gender neutral but I have a sneaking suspicion I forgot it somewhere. Please let me know if I did! Unfortunately, was very burnt out and couldn't find it in me to write an Umemiya part :(( I will try to post Umemiya content in the near future!

word count. 3k-ish

tag list form !

Part I // FINAL

©lilimalia... Please do not plagiarize, themes are edited by me, reblogs allowed, do not repost on any other platform!!

banner creds: satoru nii, author of wind breaker

[powermakar]

This is me Trying - LS2

A/N: I feel so bad for Logan after what has happened. Please don't send any type of hate to Alex.

Summary: James tells Logan that he won't be racing on Sunday and everything goes down hill.

Logan Sergeant x female!reader

Warnings: panic attacks and some swearing

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying, at least I'm trying. 

“-so you won’t be able to drive this weekend” 

“What?” 

“Alex is going to be driving your car this weekend since his car is severely damaged.”

“Oh, okay,” Logan felt numb. He couldn’t feel his hands shaking, but he could see them physically shaking. 

“I know it’s a lot but the team really needs this Logan. Thank you for doing this,” James said before walking off. 

Logan began to feel himself lose touch with reality. It was a feeling he was beginning to feel comfortable with. I mean at this point it was happening every race weekend now, so he just HAD to get comfortable with it. At first, he didn’t know what it was, maybe he was just getting sick; but after a few times and some Google searches, he figured out what it was. 

Panic attacks. 

No one knew that he experienced them. Not James, not his trainer, not Oscar; hell, his own girlfriend did not know that he got them. He had to get out of there fast so no one found out. God, he couldn't even imagine what the media would do if it became public knowledge. 

Tears and ragged breaths while hidden in the corners of his driver’s room became his go-to when he didn’t know what else to do. This time it felt different though. The sobs were louder and his vision was blurrier, he felt weak. He felt stupid. How could someone fuck up so badly and he still would get punished. He knew life wasn’t fair and he knew that Formula 1 wasn’t fair either. 

But fuck, it wasn’t fair. At all. 

The knock on the door did not register the first time, nor the second or third. He only realized someone entered the room when he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder. 

You, the love of his life, was seeing him at the lowest he had ever been. Gasps in between sobs were loud and short, and Logan felt embarrassed. He felt shameful and afraid. He couldn’t breathe and he was scared for his future. 

“It’s not fair, it's not fair, it’s just not fucking fair. I'm trying. I’m trying so fucking hard. Can’t you see that? Can’t anyone see that,” he babbled out. 

“Logan I- I know that this is hard, you worked so hard. You deserve to be driving, you shouldn’t be placed on the back burner because someone made a mistake. You’ve worked so hard for so long and it kills me to see you like this. Have you thought about how Alex may-,” Logan cut you off before you could say anything else. 

“No, no. Do not even start with Alex. I know he’s better, I know I am a liability, but I know I can try to be better,” he got up suddenly. He felt lightheaded, he felt dizzy. Stumbling around his room trying to get away from you. “I finally out-performed him and it just gets ripped out from underneath me. Literally,” Logan laughs bitterly. He didn’t care what he looked like now, he probably looked like a madman, but who the hell cares anymore?

“Logan- please just listen to me. Alex probably feels like shit. Yes he crashed his car but it's not his fault the team gave him your car. It's the team,” she pauses “It’s- it’s James’ fault.” 

“I don’t care whose fault it is. I just care about the fact that this is probably going to be one of the last times I'm going to be in F1. My time is going to get cut short, no one has any faith in me anymore. I don’t blame them though, I’m failing and I'm terrified,” Logan says. He could finally breathe normally but he could still feel his heart pounding in his ears. 

He didn’t understand any of it. How could he be failing so badly at something he used to be so good at? He glanced back at you, ready to face the disappointment he knew you secretly hid. 

“Just tell me you can’t stand me anymore. Tell me that I embarrass you. Tell me that you hate me. Tell me that you are disappointed in me. Please just tell me, please.”

“Logan-,” you were in shock. You never knew that he felt like this, about himself. He hid it so well, almost to the point where it was impressive. “You know I could never say any of those things to you. I love you so, so much and I'm so proud of you,”

Both of you heard a knock on the door and one of William’s PR managers called out, “Media in 10, Logan!”

How they expected him to go out into the media pen and act like everything was fine was beyond you. Reaching up to cup his face in your hands, you quickly wipe away a stray tear that fell at your confession. Logan gently squeezed your wrist and smiled sadly. A silent, but meaningful conversation.

[pernesophe]

P1: Timid Reader Defends Kaji

(Minors, Ageless and Blank Blogs DNI)

Synopsis: Kaji saves reader while she’s being attacked, and then walks her to school. Some of her classmates come to Furin territory to convince reader that Kaji is bad news on her way home, and he ends up hearing everything.

{TW: violence, biting and groping (violent / not sexual), angst, bodily injury and blood}

I really enjoyed writing this 3 part series, so I hope you like it: Timid Reader x Ren Kaji (ML, Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3 ). Also, here is my Main Wind Breaker Master List

Cold bricks press painfully into your back as the drunkard puts his full weight against you - pinning you against the wall. Luckily, in his inebriated state your uniform was giving his hands difficulty in accessing your skin. Alcoholic miasma encircles you as he slobbers a kiss against your neck. Pushing against him with all your strength - you’re only able to create an inch of space.

“Please! No, stop! Let me go-” Crying out to the alley around you, hoping anyone can hear you. Fortunately, somebody does.

Kaji is walking down the street, half expecting Risa’s owner to pop up to say she’s gotten out again. He scowls just from the thought. Then, he hears someone screaming “let me go” in a panicked, shrill tone before it is cut off abruptly, and he breaks into a sprint towards the alley the sound came from. 

As he rounds the corner, a massive, bumbling man comes into view, holding a girl about Kaji’s age roughly by the shoulders. Slurring something that neither you or Kaji can understand, but he is obviously angry with you. Before Kaji can approach you, the man rears back and then bites into your neck with force. Searing pain shoots from the wound, and you feel something warm and wet trickle down your collarbone - too much to be the man’s slobber. He releases you after a moment - swaying backward to take a look at what he’s done.

Kaji watches your face contort from fear to pain and then shock as you slump back against the wall. His feet start moving before the thought fully forms in his head. The drunk, seeing that you are no longer resisting, reaches for the shirt of your uniform to tear it open. Before his cigarette stained fingers can even brush the fabric, something black streaks across your vision and delivers a swift kick to the man who was previously standing in front of you, but was now slumped against the wall across from you. Still in shock, you barely register what’s happened as you slump down the wall - finally free from the brute’s hold and no longer supporting his weight - your hands and lips tremble stubbornly.

Making sure the man doesn’t hurt anyone else, Kaji shoots a text to Kusumi and Enomoto telling them where to find him and that he’s taking an injured girl to Risa’s owner. After putting his phone away, he slowly crouches in front of you so as to not scare you. Slowly bringing your gaze up to finally see your savior’s face. He’s backlit by the sun poking over the top of the building filtering into the alley, his white hair almost looks like a halo shone around the top of it. Gentle, yet concerned ashen blue eyes peer back at you - taking in the tears wetting your face, yet the lack of any crying or sniffling coming from you. 

“Uh, my name is Ren Kaji… Can I help you with…” Speaking cautiously as he awkwardly gestures to your neck. Reflexively, you go to put your hand over it, but he stops you - only brushing his fingertips against your wrist to do so - trying his best not to scare you any further.

“Uh, wait just a second for me… Here,” he says as he pulls a pack of tissues from his hoodie pocket. Layering a few together, he gently reaches forward and presses it to your wound. Flinching at the pressure you let out a small, pained squeak, and he shoots you an apologetic look.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you…” He says - genuine remorse in his tone. Why are you apologizing? You’re helping me? Wondering to yourself as he gently guides your hand with his fingertips to cover the tissues on your neck. 

“Can you hold this here for me… please?” He asks awkwardly in a gentle tone, it sounded unnatural to his own ears, but you do as he asks before he straightens up and offers you his hands to help you get on your feet. Glancing towards the alley exit, then to you, then back to the exit of the alley - he gestures towards the exit nearest to you.

“Can you follow me around the corner? There’s someone who can take a look at that for you.” He says, persistently gentle, as he motions for you to follow him. Tears were still streaming down your cheeks, and your eyes looked distant, but you nod slowly anyway. As he starts walking, he feels a small tug at the elbow of his sleeve, looking back, he sees your thumb and index finger pinching the fabric lightly with your eyes cast to the ground. His heart clenches at the sight of you blindly following him without a second thought. Even in Furin, it wasn’t often people trusted him so easily or openly.

Trudging along behind him, you only barely peek up at your savior. He seemed calm and gentle to you, and then you remember seeing only a flash of his face as he came sprinting down the alley. It was terrifying, and - despite your shock - you’ve never felt more relieved when you saw it approaching. Part of you wishes the man had been sober enough to remember Kaji’s face too, maybe then he would be too afraid to bite anyone else.

Arriving at a little shop that sells hot food, Kaji knocks on the door frame and calls to the people inside that he needs some help. Immediately a short, older woman and a younger man - most likely her son - step out and beam up at Kaji. They waste no time in gushing over him and asking what they could do for him, before quickly steamrolling over his response to gush over him some more. A wave of annoyance wafted off of him, but he miraculously kept his cool.

“Kaji! It’s so good to see you! To what do we owe the pleasure? Oh, we just got our seasonal sweets in, would you like to try some?” The son asks with genuine excitement. The older lady comes straight up to Kaji and beams while patting his arm gently.

“Kaji! You’re growing into such a fine young man.” She gushes to him before he could reply to her son. Neither of them have seen you standing behind him yet. He grunts out a thanks to her and ignores the rest of their questions, before stepping aside to reveal you. Immediately, their faces contort with worry, and the older lady takes your hand and ushers you wordlessly into the shop. Throwing a questioning glance at Kaji over your shoulder, but the son already has his undivided attention as he is looking to Kaji for an explanation.

The son and Kaji stay outside to discuss what happened, and what the guy looked like in case the son may know of him. The kind, older lady didn’t ask you any questions, and used feather light touches to clean the blood from your neck, shoulder and chest. She uses peroxide to do a quick spot clean on the blood that has seeped into your uniform. Then, she takes extra time and care to wet a washcloth and pump some citrus smelling soap into it, so that she can wipe away the man’s slobber that had dried by now. By the time she’s finished, you have a clean white bandage wrapped around your neck, barely any blood left on your uniform, and you smell like citrus and bergamot rather than beer breath and cigarette fingers. Before she moves to get up, you take her hand gently with tears in your eyes and gratefully thank her for helping you. She pats your hand lovingly and tells you ‘no thanks necessary dear - any friend of Kaji’s is a friend to us’ before wiping away the last of your tears. 

When she led you out of the shop - holding onto your hand as if you were something extremely precious - Kaji was still standing outside with her son. By now two other guys wearing Furin jackets had arrived as well. They look at you sympathetically - Kaji having already caught them up - and say their hellos. You quietly nod back and flash a smile their way as you will your puffy eyes to calm down.

“You were on your way to school, right?” Kaji says, and you nod silently. Sighing under his breath - earning a look from Enomoto - he gestures around him. While you were inside, Kaji had told them about the bite, so they suggested he walk you to school so you would feel safer. He was none too happy about the idea since he was certain your shock was wearing off, and it would only take that long for your perception of him to change from savior to beast.

“Which way? I’ll walk you there.” He more so states than offers to you, and you point in the direction of your school. He turns and starts walking without waiting for you, and though you’re a little stunned by how he is you don’t hesitate to follow. Just grateful you don’t have to make the trek alone. Kaji hid his disdain well since he already knew what school you attend by the direction you pointed in, and what your peers are like.

“Um, th-thank you, for…” You murmur gratefully as you turn to the woman and her son and gesture towards your neck. She just beams up at you like she did with Kaji and waves her hand. Her son smiles knowingly at you and waves as well, though you have no idea what is being implied.

“Don’t mention it! Any friend of Kaji’s is a friend of ours.” She repeats what she said to you earlier - almost giddily this time - as you tilt your head in confusion. But he doesn’t even know my name… you ponder to yourself before giving her a quick nod and smile. Waving to Enomoto and Kusumi - who wave back with curious looks on their faces, you couldn’t tell what for though - you bound over to Kaji and quickly fall in stride with him.

What Enomoto and Kusumi know that you don’t, is that Kaji rarely was the one to help people in the way he just did for you. Yeah, he’ll fight just about anyone who deserves it, but being gentle? Speaking softly? Handling you with Kid Gloves as the son relayed to them? Even though he is following someone else’s suggestion to walk with you, he is leaving his headphones off as he walks you to school? His seconds knew well enough that Kaji doesn’t put himself out there for others he doesn’t know like that, so what was so different about you?

The two of you walk silently to your school. Kaji wears his headphones around his neck, and you hear soft lofi beats drifting from them. You feel awkward that you haven’t said anything yet - least of all thank you. While Kaji was kicking himself for letting Enomoto and Kusumi talk him into this, because you’re in shock, scared and hurt, and he was the last person you need right now.

As your school comes into view, you suddenly stop walking, knowing you’re running out of time to say anything to him. Kaji glances back at you, and then stops too. He opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong, a scowl forming on his face as he assumes your perception of him has changed in such a short walk.

“Um!” Blurting out quickly, so he doesn’t talk, but you’re afraid that you’ve been annoying him this whole time. He closes his mouth and waits for you to speak. Taking in your appearance, the best descriptor he could give is ‘mousey’ as you shrink under his stare, hands shaking, as you struggle for the words. Funny. Seeing as I’m a beast, and all… maybe you were right to be afraid. Kaji reminded himself bitterly.

“Um…” you try to speak up again, breaking Kaji from his thoughts, causing him to almost snap ‘spit it out’ at you. Luckily he is able to restrain himself for now.

“Th-Thank you!” You say suddenly - louder than you meant to - as you bow deeply and respectfully to him. He takes a step back, not really expecting anything but fear or general contempt from you - assuming you would perceive him the same way as your peers do.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner… I was a bit shoc-shocked…” Kaji’s brow raises suspiciously at your words - expecting you to judge how he protected you.

“I-I didn’t know what that guy had planned, but I was really, really scared to find out… So I’m just really grateful to you that I didn’t have to.” You say earnestly as you straighten up and look at him again, and he’s staring back at you with impossibly wide eyes.

“N-No problem…” He responds awkwardly. Kaji was convinced you were afraid of him too, maybe even staying silent so the walk would pass quicker, but the way you seemed breathless from just getting the courage to talk to him… you were just incredibly shy. A pang runs through his chest thinking back to how loud you were yelling - that must have been difficult for you to do at all - just for that brutish man to bite you for it. You nod quietly, after finally saying the thing you’ve so desperately been trying to, and turn back towards your school to continue walking. Suddenly, Kaji pulls a peach Chupa Chup from his pocket - he’s not sure why - and holds it up in front of you. Surprised, you turn to him again with a look of curiosity and amusement.

“Here… I hope you… feel better?” Kaji says slowly and completely unsure of himself. He wasn’t familiar with comforting people like this. Giving his friends a few harsh or blunt words of encouragement? Sure. But comforting someone who couldn’t fight, was just completely steamrolled by some brute, and got really hurt in the process? Nope, this one is uncharted territory for him to say the least.

Tilting your head slightly, you reach out and wrap your hand around the lollipop - your fingertips skimming where his wrapped around the stick. A warm feeling spread through Kaji’s fingers and up his arms towards his chest and down to his stomach where he felt a… fluttering? Slipping the stick out of his hand, you look at it for a beat before looking back up at him with bright eyes and a tickled smile.

“Thank you, it’s kind of like leaving the Doctor’s Office or something.” You muse with a small giggle - flashing a small grin at him as you do. Kaji blinks quickly as he processes what you just said. Doctor? I’ve been called a Beast. Short Tempered. Insane… but Doctor? They help people. I… Thoughts flash through his mind as it only half dawns on him that you - someone his age, who doesn’t go to or live around Furin - thinks he’s something other than a beast. Blinking again, he sees that you’re giving him a concerned look, he’s been very still for a few moments now.

“Uh-uh, ahem,” Kaji stutters before clearing his throat as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. “Let me get you to school before you’re late, okay?” He says softly - similar to the tone he used with you in the alley. Nodding and following his lead, you completely miss the blush creeping over his cheeks - which subsides by the time you reach the school gates.

“Thank you again, Kaji!” You chirp gratefully as you bow again, he nods and offers a ‘no problem’ before you’re rushing through the doors as the bell rings. Unfortunately, Kaji is too focused on watching you get inside, and kicking himself for not getting your name, to see the three faces staring down at him from the window overlooking the entrance. If he had, then he probably could have anticipated what would come later that day.

When Kaji, Enomoto and Kusumi set out on patrol later on in the day, they made sure to thoroughly check over the area where you were attacked. Which is why they’re gathered in the alley that intersects the street where you walk home from school looking for any signs that the drunkard had returned, or any other riff raff. What they didn’t expect was to hear the voices of several girls on the main street.

“Y/N! Hey wait, we wanted to talk to you about something.” Someone’s calling out from behind as you’re walking home. Turning around, you see three of your classmates - out of breath - standing in a V formation behind you. Tilting your head slightly as you walk back towards them, it was weird, since they all live in a much nicer part of town and have never really been in the Furin area before.

“Oh, Yume, Kyoko, Mai - hey! What brings you to the Furin neighborhood?” Greeting them with a curious smile, the notch in your brow giving away the confusion you feel around the interaction in general. Yume fidgets uncomfortably before meeting your gaze with a fierce determination, though you know the fidgeting is an act, since it’s the same ‘determination’ you’ve seen when she bullies your peers. Bracing yourself for the worst, you turn to face her fully.

“I saw Ren Kaji walk you to school today… I just wanted you to know that he’s really dangerous!” Yume says firmly with a dark glint in her eyes, and the other two standing slightly behind her nod along quickly. Subconsciously, you take a step back, because honestly, this wasn’t what you expected, but you also know better than to let them get a rise out of you. At the mention of his name, Kaji and his seconds freeze in the alley, and peer inconspicuously around the corner to see what’s happening. When he sees the three girls, Kaji immediately recognizes them to be the younger siblings of some of his classmates' that he had beaten in middle school. His body tenses all over in apprehension of what they are going to tell you.

“I know.” You say matter of factly while nodding your head in agreement. Kaji’s chest clenches from the confirmation that your perception had changed of him in just a few short hours. Enomoto and Kusumi exchange an angry look that you could switch up so easily, and silently plot out how to get Kaji away from this. Yume fixes you with a suspicious look in her eye - the only one unconvinced by the reason behind your admission.

”So you know he’s a beast?” She asks in an expectant tone. Kaj’s fists clench at his sides as he fights to restrain his feet from carrying him back towards the school. Enomoto nods to Kusumi, signaling him to get Kaji’s attention so they can suggest getting out of there. Just as he reaches out to tap his captain’s shoulder, your voice carries into the alley once more. 

”What do you mean by that?” Asking in a tone that indicates your genuine confusion by her question. Today was the first time you ever met Kaji and though the realization that her explanation would probably be pointless, you still want to know what she means. 

Yume goes on to explain that in middle school Kaji beat her brother up as well as the rest of his class multiple times. She went on to detail that the gym teacher had to come to restrain him several times - she whispers it venomously like a dirty little secret she’s just been waiting to divulge. From where he is standing, Kaji can see your face remain unchanged by the ‘facts’ being laid out to you, so he ignores Kusumi, who is now motioning for them to leave before being spotted. He wanted to hear what you would say - the timid girl who fought to find the courage just to thank him this morning, and had been on his mind since for reasons he couldn’t quite pin down.

“He hasn’t changed at all since middle school. I just thought you should know.” She finishes her explanation pointedly, like she was really doing you some kind of favor. A pregnant pause passes as you stare her down. It’s so quiet that the trio on the alley hold their breath out of fear you all could hear them. Finally, your voice splits the silence like a cleansing bell.

“Oh… I didn’t know about any of that, and honestly I’m not sure if it really matters to me.” You say with a noncommittal shrug, but the glint in your eye says you’re just getting started. Kaji almost falls forward from shock - how are you just brushing all of that off without any doubt?? Pondering the thought with the intensity of a scholar as he silently watches the scene before him unfold - only now he is feeling hopeful for how it would end. 

“I said I know he’s dangerous, because I saw him knock a guy unconscious with one kick this morning. This drunk guy cornered me in that alley.” Pointing towards the one where Kaji and his seconds are hidden - who all immediately suffer heart palpitations in fear of being found out. Luckily, the four of you are too absorbed to notice the Furin shadows eavesdropping within the darker shadows of the alley.

“He pinned me to a wall and was trying really hard to get in my uniform. Kaji showed up when the guy bit me for telling him no.” Saying in a tone of disbelief that it ever happened as you gesture to the bandage on your neck. Yume and the other two stay silent and wide eyed as they listen to your traumatic morning. 

“I’m grateful he was there too, because I don’t even want to think about what that guy would’ve done if Kaji hadn’t shown up when he did.” You continue speaking earnestly as the fear from the earlier incident causes your pulse to quicken. Kaji is glad he stayed to hear you out - even if you didn’t realize he was there and listening with open ears and a softening heart.

”He wasn’t a beast.” You state defiantly. “He walked me to school after, and even offered me a lollipop like at the Doctor’s office. He seems, like, really nice, actually?” Inflecting your tone upward with utter confusion as to how they could even say these things. The silent girls behind Yume gape at you in shock, while Yume shoots you an annoyed glare for your stubbornness.

If you could see Kaji, you would see he is staring at you in shock as well. He could accept that you thanked him, and even that you didn’t view him as a beast. But nice?! You think he’s nice… Kaji subconsciously reached and gripped his hoodie strings, head dipping as he listened closer to you standing up for him. Enomoto and Kusumi make nor further efforts to push him to leave. He needs to hear someone other than us say some good things about him. They think between each other exchanging knowing looks and hopeful smiles.

”He hasn’t changed one bit since middle school - when he beat my brother - you have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.” Yume spits her points from earlier at you, curling her fists at her sides to match the curl in her lip.

”You’re right. I wouldn’t know about anything other than today - because I just met him - but if you say he hasn’t changed since middle school, then it seems to me he only fights people who deserve it. So, answer me this, what did your brother do to earn a beating from Ren Kaji?” Speaking through gritted teeth, you cross your arms for emphasis as you rub salt right into her wound. Kaji’s head pops up at your words, and he can’t help but peek around the corner to see the timid girl from this morning all but disappeared. In her place was a girl who had the same hair and nose, but her eyes were set ablaze and the way her arms were crossed gave her an air of an impenetrable wall. He steps back into the alley when your eyes darken even more, and an irritated notch forms in your brow as you open your mouth to speak.

”No response? That’s okay, because I’ve met your brother and I have to say - he’s a terrible fucking person. You know that he tried to take a photo up my skirt, right? That’s why I petitioned the administration to let me wear pants.” Taking on a matter of fact tone as you gesture to the chinos in your school color. Yume shakes her head quickly, confused by your accusation.

”I don’t remember anything being said about that…” She scoffs with a disbelieving shake of her head. Tilting your head as if to say ‘you really wanna do this?’, you continue as you dig your heel into her cheek next.

”That’s because it was kept ‘hush, hush’ so as to not ‘embarrass him’, but he was transferred to a different class under the guise that he wasn’t being ‘challenged enough’, when really he was moved to an all boys class for the safety of his female peers.” As you say this, realization dawns on the girl’s face as she remembers her brother coming home utterly enraged about the transfer even though everyone said it was really good for his transcript.

”Look, all I’m saying is you can’t blame me for taking your words with a grain of salt. Honestly, I think you may just be bad at reading people seeing as you barely know who your own brother is even though you two literally live together. So I can’t just take your word when it comes to Kaji, it’s really not fair to him.” The taunting tone from earlier ebbs into a more earnest one as Yume’s bottom lip quivers from her brother’s misdeeds being outed. Embarrassed and at a loss for words, Yume turns and flees with her friends on her heels. Turning your gaze to the sky, Kaji and his seconds watch as you let out a tired sigh with a shake of your head before bringing your gaze to eye level once more.

”That’s not how you make friends Y/N.” Speaking to yourself in a faux chastising tone.

”Oh well,” you add with a shrug, earning a silent chuckle from Kaji, and as you turn around to head home again, your eyes flit across the alley. As they do, Kaji grabs Enomoto and Kusumi and slams them back against the wall so you don’t spot them. He crunches an aluminum can in the process - catching your attention - but the alley is too dark to see down. Taking one cautious stop forward, and narrowing your eyes - the three of them hold their breath. Suddenly, you release a deep breath you had been holding and let your shoulders droop as you drop your head. The trio don’t dare move. 

”Don’t go down the spooky alley Y/N - that’s how you get into ‘dangerous situations’ - as mom would say.” Chastising yourself once more before you straighten up and continue walking home.

After you’re out of earshot, the trio can’t help but to start rolling with laughter. Kaji was surprised that the timid girl from this morning - who sniffled pathetically the whole way to Risa’s owner, and could barely strike up a conversation with him - was able to tell off a group of girls that had Kaji’s blood pressure rising out of fear. It was amusing to him that you were able to hold a full conversation with yourself in the middle of the street, and such a contrast from who he met and walked to school this morning. The fact that you were comfortable enough with yourself to fill the quiet was an added bonus - to him. Maybe if you grew to feel comfortable with him, then you could fill the quiet spaces in his life too. Enomoto and Kusumi watch as their captain shakes himself of his revere, and that typical expressionless look returns to his face, but his eyes weren’t as apathetic as usual. They held a deep longing as he sadly watched you walk away. The two seconds share a plotting look - this time for entirely different reasons - instead of shielding him from you, they are gonna figure out how to push Kaji towards you.

After Kaji witnessed you defending his reputation to your classmates, he doesn’t make much effort to involve himself in your life, or you in his. Consciously, that is. Subconsciously, he is always offering to patrol the area around where you were attacked. So he would be close by if ‘something like that’ were to happen again. Risa’s owner often stops him outside her shop to tell him little details about you - from things as trivial to your new haircut, up to her informing him of the things you’ve been relaying to her that causes you stress as of late. Though he never comes out and asks for details about you, he also never tells Risa’s owner to stop divulging them - often walking away from the encounters with his headphones around his neck on the off chance that the shop owner would have more to say. 

Enomoto and Kusumi notice the change in their captain’s behavior - the fidgeting when he comes near the alley where he met you, maybe hoping to just get a glimpse of you, to the way that his face is relaxed and the corners of his mouth tug upwards slightly whenever Risa’s owner comes to talk to him about you. Eventually, they ask Nirei to get some more information on you, and some kind of contact information for you, if possible.

It only takes the dutiful first year a couple of days to know your name - Y/N L/N, age (17), and relationship status (single). He wasn’t able to get your contact information, but he was able to get your friend’s information - Hana Kim - who said that a few local bands would be playing near the canal this weekend. More importantly, she said that you would be there. Enomoto raises a quizzical eyebrow at the blonde boy before asking the most pressing question.

“Did she say anything about-” Closing his mouth quickly, not wanting to divulge that event, then starts again. “Do you know if Y/N has mentioned Kaji to her at all?” He asks directly this time - not so secretly hoping for an affirmative. Nirei’s eyes lit up as he nodded happily, and went on to explain that Hana mentioned that you’ve been talking about him a lot, so she was hoping some of Kaji’s Furin friends could make sure he was at the concert too. Kusumi and Enomoto shared triumphant looks before they scurried off to convince their captain to go out this weekend. 

That weekend, Kaji agreed to go out to the concert with Kusumi, Enomoto, and for some reason a few of the first years had tagged along. Wearing his typical scowl as he moved through the crowd, headphones on his head because he honestly could care less about the concert. The other second years in his class pointed out that he needs to try and enjoy life a little more, and to satiate their constant pestering - he showed up. Apparently, he had been looking extra gloomy lately, to them, but he didn’t feel that way. Most of his thoughts were filled with daydreams of you - how you’re doing, what you’re doing, who you’re hanging out with. As well as imagining what all of those things would be like if you were to spend your time with him. It wasn’t gloom he’s been feeling, just plain old longing. Which he’s felt for suckers, music and friends, but never for a person in the way he’s been longing for you. It’s unfamiliar, and has been leaving his head messy with emotions.

Honestly, with everything going on, he was planning on leaving the concert after the first set and just telling his friends that he has a headache. That’s when Nirei, who for some reason has been forcing his friends to stick close to Kaji’s group of three, suddenly points a couple of girls out in the crowd. He waves excitedly at a girl with long black hair and green eyes who begins waving back just as excitedly. Kaji wonders why he’s there for a first year meet-cute, but then his eyes travel to the girl next to the one waving - she was facing away from his group, but he recognized the back of her head almost instantly. The raven haired girl suddenly grabbed her friend’s arm and turned her around as she pointed to Kaji and the rest of his group.

As Hana grabbed your arm and spun you around while excitedly squeal-whispering ‘look who’s here!’, the last person you expected to see was your snowy haired savior standing across the venue. The second your eyes met his beryl colored ones across the crowd you could feel the air in your lungs dissipate and your face grow hot. Luckily you weren’t flooded with too much embarrassment, because even from where you stood you could see Kaji’s blush crept all the way down his neck and disappeared into his hoodie. For a second, he takes a slight step back and you can feel your brow raise in question - is he gonna run away? - when his friend, who you recognize as Enomoto, claps him on his back forcing him to take a step forward. The snowy haired male shoots a glare at his stylish friend, but when he turns back to you - you’re already waving and smiling at him shyly while Hana drags you towards his group. He didn’t have any time to prepare before you’re suddenly thrust in front of him by your raven haired friend, who - being the more confident one - is already introducing herself to him before turning her attention to his friends. The two of you are stuck silently staring at each other while Hana is making quick conversation, and then dragging the rest of his group away from the two of you. Both of you whip your heads in unison with mouths opened in protest, but Hana just throws you a sly ‘have fun!’ over her shoulder while pointing the rest of them towards a booth on the opposite side of the concert. Turning back to meet each other’s gazes again, and you both immediately turn bright red and swiftly avert your eyes.

“Um,” finally breaking the silence as you look back up at him through thick lashes. “It’s really good to see you again… I’ve been hoping we’d run into each other.” You admit with a shy smile, a little embarrassed, as you fidget with your sleeve and continue to peer up at him with those big, beautiful eyes that leave him speechless. Kaji’s face softens as he regards you with an adoring look - a long moment passes before he realizes he hasn’t spoken.

“Ahem,” he clears his throat, trying to recover some of his composure. “I’ve been hoping to run into you too… I think our friends may have noticed, and set this up.” Kaji remarks with an amused, wistful smile gracing his lips - allowing himself to feel more relaxed after hearing he’s been on your mind too.

From afar, Hana is huddled inconspicuously at a booth with the Furin guys crowded behind her, all of whom were spying on the two of you. Though your friend is used to your shy, blushing nature; Kaji’s friends are not used to his - Kusumi, Enomoto, Nirei, Suo, Sakura, and now Tsubaki and Hiragi too since they happened to hear about the event - all gasped in unison at his relaxed expression. Glancing back and forth at each other, they all share a silent thought - that they relay to Hana later on - Kaji has never smiled like that before. Sakura is blushing so badly he’s basically a taillight at this point as he picks up on the romantic implication between you and Kaji.

“I’m grateful for them.” You blurt out without thinking which causes you to start blushing once again - Kaji is just as surprised by your admission as he starts blushing again too. Suddenly, the first band starts to play and the crowd surges forward and starts pressing into both of you. Without thinking much of it, Kaji grabs your hand so you don’t get swept away before pulling you closer to his chest where you grab onto the front of his hoodie for some stability. The two of you stay frozen like that as the first notes of the song ring out in drones from an electric guitar. It was getting too loud for you, and Kaji seemed to notice as he leaned down so his lips brushed your ear, and spoke up so you could hear and feel the full baritone in his voice.

“I’m not great in crowds - do you mind if we move towards the back?” He asks, then leans back to look for any signs of dissatisfaction on your face. To his delight, you looked relieved that he offered as you nodded eagerly - also itching to get away from all of the people. 

Enveloping your hand in his, just like the first day you two met, and then he leads you to the back of the crowd. Luckily, due to his stature and severe scowl, people jumped out of the way to make room for the two of you, so he was able to beeline to an empty spot in the back that still allowed a good view of the stage. Coming to a halt, the two of you turn towards the stage and stand side by side, but Kaji doesn’t let go of your hand. In fact, he held it through the entire first set, and as more and more people filtered into the area you were eventually forced to stand basically pressed completely into his side to avoid being shoulder checked by others. Though Kaji enjoyed you being so close, and all the warm buzzing in his veins from your proximity - it started to annoy him deeply how close people were to bumping into you, though his face didn’t show any of his annoyance. As the second set starts and even more people start showing up, you reach out with your free hand and grab onto his upper arm to avoid a large guy (who probably couldn’t see you) about to step on you. Then, you hear Kaji speak for the first time since the show started.

“Hey. Careful man, you’re about to step on her.” He shouts over the music loud enough for the approaching guy to hear, but he wasn’t screaming by any means. Regardless, when the substantial man turned around to see you pressing into Kaji to avoid being stepped on accentuated by Kaji’s deep set scowl directed at him and the way his cerulean eyes flicker protectively towards you - he jumps out of the way and throws an apology your way before heading in the opposite direction completely. Just as quickly as it showed up, his scowl vanished as he turned to look at you with the most relaxed expression again. ‘Are you ready to go?’ He mouths at you, and you nod gratefully up at him. Incredibly relieved to finally get out of there. You enjoyed the music, but concerts weren’t really your scene - you had actually only come at Hana’s request, funnily enough.

The two of you exit the crowd near the lines of booths selling food, drinks and merchandise. Off to the far end, Hana is sitting with the Furin group where you had last seen them. Before Kaji can start leading you towards them, you tug on his sleeve quickly, and as he turns to look at you - you already have your phone open to ‘New Contact’ ready to put in his number. He blinks down at you dubiously as you hold it up to him.

“Can I get your number… Please?” Asking shyly, as you once again look at him bashfully through your lashes, which makes him feel breathless and a little lightheaded. Slowly he nods, taking your phone out of your hand and inputting his information. He goes to take out his phone to hand to you, but then he receives a text from an unknown number. After opening the message, he sees:

xxx-xxx-xxxx: Hi it’s Y/N! I had a great time tonight, can we hang out again soon? :) 

“Yes.” Kaji says before looking up from his phone to see you blushing and fidgeting with your sleeve again - nervous of his rejection. So cute, he thinks to himself while fighting the sudden urge to bend down and kiss your forehead. “Are you free this weekend? Maybe we can go somewhere quieter this time?” He asks quickly, pushing his thoughts aside, and then blushes as he reels a bit at his own eagerness.

“Absolutely!” Chirping back, as you beam up at him. “There’s this pop up art show on the edge of Furin territory this weekend, and while there’s a music component, it’s more like a ‘silent concert’ vibe. They provide headphones, or you can bring your own, but all of the pieces are connected to a song or album…” Your eyes light up as you explain the event, but then you realize you don’t know Kaji well enough to know if that’s what he enjoys. 

“If that’s something you’d be interested in? Obviously we can do something else if you want!” Quickly, you offer an out or an alternative - apprehensive that that’s the last thing he’d want to do.

“That sounds pretty cool, but if it’s like… nice art, then I may not fit in.” He says cautiously as he gestures to the clothes he’s currently wearing - he’s also feeling apprehensive, but for a completely different reason - but you immediately perk up at that as you grin up at him again.

“It’s all modern art made by local university and high school students, so it’ll be a really casual event. Honestly, you’ll fit right in.” You assure him quickly, and he smiles despite his nerves. He didn’t know why, but when you said he’ll ‘fit right in’ a warm bubbly feeling pumped through his veins making his heart stutter slightly.

“Cool.” Kaji breathes out with a small, relieved smile. “I’ll take you out to lunch afterwards.” He offers smoothly, and now your heart is stuttering. This was starting to sound like a date.

“Aw-awesome! I’ll send you the address and meet you there around noon?” You ask, trying to iron out the details without giving away that you’re trying to clarify exactly what this hangout is. 

“You live close to that shop I took you to the first day we met, right?” He asks with a curious tilt of his head, and you nod in response. “Okay cool. I live pretty close to there too, so I can just come pick you up around noon, if that’s okay?” He asks, oh so nonchalantly. Despite his poker face, his heart is going a million miles a minute while he waits for what you’ll say.

“Um, yeah, of course! That would be great, thank you!” Blurting out quickly, and smiling giddily despite your attempts to stay cool, but then he ruins all of your efforts with his next words.

“Okay cool. It’s a date.” He says while taking your hand and starts leading you towards your friends once again. “Also, you don’t need to thank me for something I want to do.” Turning slightly to add over his shoulder, his pale ceruleans capture your gaze and pierce you through the heart right then and there. The tips of your ears start burning as your unruly heart hammers unsteadily against your chest, and the air is punched out of your lungs completely. 

If he didn’t look away soon you feared you might die on the spot, but honestly a part of you wouldn’t have minded - the way you feel when he looks at you is exhilarating. It’s like you were tandem skydiving for the first time, and just when you were convinced that you were done for as the ground rushes towards your face, he finally releases the parachute by breaking eye contact and your senses return to you - but you still feel flustered and hot all over by the time the two of you reach the booth.

Despite his friend's immediate silent teasing - trying to not give it away to you, but you’re perceptive enough to see the winks and wiggling eyebrows shot his way - Kaji remains the king of nonchalance around them. Introduces you to the few of his friends who you haven’t met yet, and then your blended group takes a few moments to shoot the breeze. It seems like Hana has enjoyed conversing with Tsubaki, Enomoto and Kusumi - though you realize that they have certainly been discussing you and Kaji this whole time. Even though you’re feeling shy around all of the new faces, they all seem thrilled that you’re here and are extremely welcoming to you. Eventually, everyone has to say their goodbyes as the concert comes to a close. Kaji and you bid each other a good night, and as he’s turning to leave he says ‘see you Saturday’ and you smile and nod before repeating the same back to him. Both of you were teased incessantly by your friends on your separate walks home, but neither of you seemed to care - too excited over what Saturday, and whatever follows, will bring. 

Not long after the concert and art pop-up, you and Kaji start hanging out on a regular basis. Soon after, you both come to realize that you have the same taste in music, both enjoy Peach Chupa Chups, and though you probably like coffee more than Kaji - he at least enjoys going on coffee dates with you. Though he’s partial to Pothos, and has convinced you to become partial to them as well - especially since he knew you would thoroughly enjoy Kotoha’s company once you met her. 

Only a couple months later you receive a playlist named “Please Be Mine <3”. It was rather forward for Kaji, but he wanted to be as clear as possible - following the advice of Hiragi and Umemiya since he didn’t want to mess this up. The playlist was filled with songs directly and indirectly speaking of love. Just to be thorough, he follows it with a message:

Kaji: Hey, do you have time to talk after school today?

Y/N: Of course! I love the playlist by the way! :) 

Kaji: Kaji loved a message.

After school, Kaji took you on a coffee date and officially asked you to be his girlfriend. Beside yourself with happiness, you of course accepted, and then kissed him on the cheek without warning. Kaji’s face flushed a light pink at first, which quickly deepened to a rich red as he pulled up his hood and yanked the strings taught to hide his face. Shocked at first, you gently shake his arm, but he just shakes his head and murmurs something you can’t hear. Leaning into his arm, you ask him to speak up.

“I-I can’t look at you after that! Wh-why did you kiss me?” He asks in a stilted whisper as he pulls his hood back slightly to peek at you despite his words. Even though Kaji has held your hand with ease, or even maneuvered you around in times of danger, he has never been on the receiving end of such open physical affection and didn’t quite know how to handle it.

“Because you’re my boyfriend now.” Taunting him with a mischievous smile as you quickly grab the edges of his hood so he can’t hide and plant a kiss squarely on his lips. Kaji is relieved he just freezes under your touch and somehow blushes an even deeper red, rather than reflexively hit you like he did to Furin’s Leader when Umemiya hugged him. That is the only time you push the line with Kaji when it comes to PDA, and after that the two of you really only hold hands in public. Even when the two of you weren’t holding hands, it would still be clear to everyone by the way Kaji always has his headphones off around you that the two of you are together.

(I have no rights to these characters, the works they come from, or the art/screenshots/manga panels used in this post. Screenshots taken from pinterest or google, so if you know the creator please lmk! Updated dividers are from @sweetmelodygraphics )

[mind-player]

Purge

Durge is beginning to wonder whether it matters if they make it to Bhaal's temple and if it would be better for the others if they didn't.

And Astarion, despite your constant protests, cannot helplessly stand by and watch as you pour out the contents of your stomach and then eventually all of your questioning thoughts along with it.

Warning! Suicidal thoughts/questioning

Words: 2,040

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Astarion was quick to wake from his trance just from the absence of your presence at his side. He felt the place with cold fingers, realizing the blankets still had some of your warmth. The fire everyone circled around in their bedrolls was freshly tended, alive again with a new log added to the flames. 

The vampire quietly got up to avoid disturbing the other companion's rest and began to sense where you might've run off. He strained his ears, and it didn't take long for him to pick up the sound of a specific someone retching in the distance of the forest. Astarion made haste, not wanting to let you suffer alone for a second. 

A selfish part of him wanted to tell you again that it was alright to snap him awake whenever this happened, but he was fast to conclude that the morning would have to do. As much as he's gently brought it up, he did also understand your discomfort at the thought of him seeing you throw up last night's dinner. 

But still, they were in this together, Bhaal be damned. And he knew you wouldn't hesitate to do the same for him. Hells, you've asked him for a kiss even when he was covered in blood and viscera, his hair more than just slightly askew, and his face sore with cuts and bruises. Sure, he couldn't look into a mirror, but he could still feel that the grime and exhaustion were evident to anyone at camp.

Didn't matter to you, though. You would call Astarion beautiful every time, and he'd readily call you a liar. And you'd say with a smile as golden as your heart, "Prove it." 

He never could. 

Astarion finally came upon the vision of you keeling over on your knees. Your hand was your only leaning support, pale and clammy from the night's cold on a tree stump. The only contrast was the red and scabbing marks around your wrist from being tied up every other night. 

"Don't look," you croaked, your voice hoarse and tired, ready to deny his help. 

It was rare that you would let yourself sleep sometimes, especially after what happened to that poor bard you so eagerly let join camp without even a hint of suspicion on your mind. Astarion was irritated by your being so open and careless, and all you had to say was that you missed the sound of a bard's music. 

And you were punished for it. 

Astarion remembered the last day you would ever trust your body around anyone. Not even your thoughts were safe in your mind, for fear of them crawling out and unleashing murder upon your companions and, God's forbid, on Astarion. Even the idea of that happening made you ill, but your mind would force you to see it in your dreams, and your slinking Bhaal butler would provoke the strength of your will.

It was only inevitable and natural that you'd be sick to your stomach with all that on your shoulders, your mind. 

"You think this is the worst I've witnessed in my two hundred years?" the elf questioned, and he chose not to move forward, not without further consent. 

"No," you answered truthfully, letting your hand slide down the rough bark for you to fall back on the balls of your feet. 

"Then please let me help you." 

"I," you started, taking a shaky breath. "I don't think you can." 

Astarion could tell from your voice alone you were on the brink of tears. And as much as the vampire just wanted to take all of that pain away and rip it to nothing but shreds, kill any God that causes it, and ascend himself victorious so that it could never happen again, he couldn't. Not yet. He remained where he stood. 

"What do you mean, my love?" he questioned softly when you didn't continue. He could always be sincere with you when you so effortlessly were, especially in such moments. 

"I just hate this," you responded, nearly crying aloud. "I know you said we can fight this together. And I want to. Gods, I want to. But sometimes, I just wish my mind would stop for a second. Just to let me be me around you. The me that you know and the one I want to be. But I don't think I ever will." 

He didn't say anything, letting you say what he couldn't bear. 

"I'm going to die," you whispered, giving out and leaning onto your side. "And if my body doesn't, I know whoever was on this journey with you definitely will. So what does it matter if it all just stops now?"

Astarion almost couldn't believe his ears. Such a dreadful question slipped through the lips of an angel who soothed everyone's worries and selflessly promised devotion to countless others regardless of their own self-preservation. 

Some say vampires are unfeeling creatures with no heart, none that craves to beat for anything other than the thrill of power. But, of course, if anyone ever proved them wrong, it was you. 

And if there was anyone to tell Astarion he was worth more than his looks, his body, and his charm, that he was a person just like everyone else who could be valued, trusted, and loved so readily, it was most certainly you. You were the only one to give him even the slightest hope of defeating someone he had revolved around for two centuries. You were the only one to tell him he could finally stop surviving and start living. 

You were the hope of every tiefling, your companions, and him. Hearing you, seeing you finally break, was enough to bring him to his knees, and the thought of genuinely losing you made his heart fall. But not for one second was this only about him. 

A silence fell over the two of you until he finally gathered his words. 

"When I discovered you, I remember being so furious. After all, how could there be people like you out here all this time? Just waiting to save someone's life, end their torment, their worries," he tried to explain without his voice trembling. 

"You were so naive yet so relentlessly kind, constantly worrying about right and wrong, weighing every decision and then being the one to bear the consequences of them, all on your shoulders. And not once did you expect anything in return from anyone.

"So, please, consider when I hear you ask if it matters if you keep existing in this world, even if it's for a moment longer, that it does. Gods, it does. It's indisputable. Because this world is already so starved of people like you," he said, his chest aching with every word. 

Hot tears threatened to well in his eyes, tears he hadn't known since he was still in that wretched dungeon being tortured alive. 

Astarion couldn't stop thinking about you being lost forever compared to so many other evils they've slain along their journey. There were so many in this world who no one would miss, who no one would even consider a moment to remember, and Astarion thought that, with all his faults, he might as well have been on that list, too. 

But everyone would most certainly miss you. Probably would throw thousands of flowers on your grave each year, speak exciting stories of your adventures with all you've done, put up a statue of you, and honor you for centuries to come. 

He would so desperately miss you. When the others finally abandoned him and left him to his own devices or back with Cazador, he would have forgotten how to love again, knowing that you were the only one he could care for. 

Astarion watched as the hand that supported you on the ground clenched, intertwining your calloused fingers into the grass. You turned your body to finally face him, shining tears from the firelight staining your cheeks. 

And all of that and everything else he could've said to convince you otherwise must've been conveyed in just one look because he was finally seeing you. Your sweat-damp brow was furrowed in pain, your white-knuckled grip released the delicate blades of grass, and all your pain from your stomach to your head and mind was brewing behind your reddened eyes. Tired eyes. 

"I'm sorry," you eventually cried with shoulders quivering, and it was all Astarion needed to come crawling over to hold you in his arms. "I didn't– I shouldn't have–"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all," Astarion vehemently told you, shaking his head. "Everything that's been asked of you forced onto you, would test anyone." 

You wept, sniffled, and apologized, and the cycle repeated, but Astarion never once ran out of quiet, comforting whispers. 

It continued until it eventually came to a slow end, with you resting your head on his shoulder and his hand rubbing against yours. Your legs were numb from how long you both had sat there in that forest and if you could feel, maybe even a little cold- not because of Astarion. Never because of him. 

While basking in the comfortable silence that befell both of you, you still couldn't help but sigh and shake your head. 

"What is it, my love?" he asked so gently as if the words alone would make you fall apart again. You never hated yourself more for dumping your doubts, worries, and dreads on him. 

"It's stupid," you said, actually meaning that you were stupid in a sense. 

"Try me."

You hid your face further into the crook of his shoulder, feeling that familiar warmth spread across your cheeks. 

"I just remembered how much I didn't want you to ever see me throw up... and you get something ten times worse."

Astarion laughed and said, "Compared to the monstrous atrocities we've seen throughout this journey, this is more akin to sunshine and a bed of fresh roses. I don't mind."

"Really?" 

"Yes."

You squinted in suspicion at him and persisted, "Not even a little?" 

Astarion quirked a brow. 

"Well, I could do without the snot on the only shirt I possess," he joked, earning that gorgeous smile he missed so dearly, "but if it means you're still here, together with me, then no, I genuinely don't mind. I'm not going anywhere." 

The latter part of his words sounded so irrefutable and clear to your ears that you almost forgot everything ahead. 

"Even if I turn into a monster?" you asked him.

"The day you turn into a monster is the day that bears will fly," he answered, silently thinking about how different you were compared to him. "But if that still somehow manages to happen, then what's the harm of being monsters together?" 

"That'd be so terrible," you told him, shaking your head with a smile. 

This was nice. Your dark thoughts were quelled and momentarily replaced with the idea of you and Astarion, the future you two could have if you somehow managed to live through all this. What would it be like, you wondered. 

You imagined a house somewhere in the city, perhaps a townhouse. You'd both live messily; all the treasures you hoarded over this journey would be scattered everywhere when first moving in. Curtains would be closed, but you'd like to imagine them open with a smiling Astarion basking like a cat in the sun he adored. 

Alive again. With your love's heart beating so strongly with your ear pressed up against his naked chest as you both lounge in bed, doing nothing in particular. 

Then it crossed your silly mind that you wanted that. You wanted to see that someday, even if it might not have been in the cards for you. But when have the chances ever not been slim? And how many times did you beat them until now? 

That future, that hope, was enough to fight for. 

That acquainted quiet settled once more before you finally whispered a vow only to him, "I'll defy him. Whatever it takes." 

Even if it meant dying. 

"As will I," he answered, and you knew who he spoke of. One day, both of you might be free- truly free. 

[horeformilfs]

Sorry to bug ya but I was wondering if you’d mind a Alcina x ex umbrella experiment s/o

Like there super snuggly because “this touch doesn’t hurt what!!”

If you want to add some Demi fam in there I am not opposed because it’s cute

Only if you wanna

A Family's Embrace

Dimitrescu Family x Gender Neutral Reader

TW: Panic Attack, PTSD, Nightmares

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The night was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of the wind against the ancient walls of Castle Dimitrescu. Y/N sat by the window, staring out at the endless stretch of darkness that cloaked the land. The room was warm, a stark contrast to the cold void outside, but inside, Y/N felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

Alcina had taken Y/N in under Mother Miranda's request. What was once a dark, twisted experiment of the Umbrella Corporation had somehow found refuge in the imposing, yet oddly comforting embrace of the castle and its inhabitants. Lady Alcina Dimitrescu and her daughters had taken to Y/N almost immediately, showering them with a kind of warmth Y/N had never known. Yet, despite this new-found sanctuary, there was a barrier Y/N couldn't seem to break down.

"Y/N," Alcina's voice, smooth and deep, echoed from the doorway. Y/N turned slightly, catching sight of the towering figure of Alcina, her presence filling the room with a mix of elegance and power.

"Yes, Lady Dimitrescu?" Y/N replied, their voice barely above a whisper.

Alcina's crimson lips curved into a gentle smile as she crossed the room, her steps almost silent. "How many times must I tell you, dear? Call me Alcina." She reached out, intending to place a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder, but Y/N flinched away, pulling back instinctively.

A flicker of frustration crossed Alcina's face, but she quickly masked it. "Y/N, why do you shy away from me? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?" Her voice was still gentle, but there was an edge to it now, a hint of impatience.

Y/N looked down, their hands trembling slightly. "It's not that, Alcina. I just... I don't want to." Their voice broke at the end, and they clenched their fists, trying to steady themselves.

Alcina's patience was wearing thin. "Not want to? You barely speak to me, you avoid my touch, and yet you never explain why. Do you not trust me? After everything I've done for you?" Her voice rose with each word, the calm exterior cracking to reveal the storm beneath.

Y/N's heart pounded in their chest, the pressure of Alcina's words weighing heavily on them. "It's not about trust," they whispered, tears beginning to blur their vision. "I just can't..."

Alcina's temper snapped. "Can't what, Y/N? Can't let anyone in? Can't accept that someone might actually care for you?" She loomed over Y/N, her shadow engulfing them. "I have given you everything, and yet you give me nothing in return!"

The words hit Y/N like a physical blow. They stood, shaking, their mind a chaotic swirl of fear and confusion. "I'm sorry," they choked out, before turning and fleeing the room, leaving Alcina standing there, her anger giving way to a painful realization. 

Hours passed, and Alcina found herself pacing the halls of the castle, her mind replaying the confrontation over and over. She had always prided herself on her composure, but something about Y/N brought out a raw, unfiltered emotion she couldn't control.

Determined to make things right, she made her way to Y/N's room. She knocked softly, then opened the door, finding Y/N curled up on the bed, their face buried in their knees.

"Y/N," she said softly, the anger gone from her voice. "Please, talk to me."

Y/N looked into Alcina's eyes, seeing the sincerity and the pain reflected there. It was a moment of understanding, a fragile bridge being built between their two wounded souls. But the past held a tighter grip than Y/N had realized.

"I can't," Y/N whispered, the words heavy with regret. "I'm sorry, Alcina. I just can't let you in."

Alcina's hand froze, the warmth of her touch lingering in the air between them. A mixture of hurt and frustration flashed across her face. "Y/N, you don't have to do this alone. I want to help you, but you need to let me."

Y/N shook their head, tears streaming down their cheeks. "I'm broken, Alcina. And no matter how much you care, I can't change that. I don't know how to let anyone in without breaking even more."

The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words and shattered hopes. Alcina slowly pulled back, standing tall once more, her expression unreadable. "I understand," she said quietly, though the tremor in her voice betrayed her emotions. "I won't force you. But know this, Y/N: I am here for you, whenever you're ready."

Y/N nodded, unable to find the words to respond. They watched as Alcina left the room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway, leaving Y/N alone with their thoughts and fears.

The night seemed even darker now, the cold seeping back in as Y/N curled up on the bed once more. They knew Alcina's love was genuine, but the chains of the past were still too strong. And so, they lay there, wrapped in a cocoon of their own making, waiting for a dawn that felt so far away. 

Weeks passed in a tense stalemate. Every attempt Alcina made to offer comfort was met with the same response—Y/N flinching away, retreating further into their shell. Alcina tried to be patient, but the constant rejection gnawed at her. She wanted to break through, to help, but Y/N's walls remained impenetrable.

One night, a storm raged outside the castle, the wind howling and rain lashing against the stone walls. Y/N lay in bed, tossing and turning as memories of the experiments flooded their mind. In their nightmares, they were back in the sterile, cold labs of Umbrella, the pain and fear suffocating them.

A loud crack of thunder shook the castle, jolting Y/N awake. Heart pounding, drenched in sweat, they couldn't catch their breath. Panic seized them, and they bolted out of bed, the need to escape overwhelming their thoughts. Barefoot and in their nightclothes, they ran through the corridors, the storm's fury mirrored in their frantic pace.

They found themselves in the courtyard, the rain drenching them instantly, but they didn't stop. Lightning illuminated the path as they made their way to Alcina's wing of the castle. The wind howled, the storm's ferocity making the journey treacherous, but Y/N didn't care. They needed Alcina.

Reaching her door, they pounded frantically, their fists a blur against the heavy wood. "Alcina! Please!" they cried, their voice barely audible over the storm's roar.

The door swung open, and Alcina stood there, her eyes wide with shock. "Y/N?" She pulled them inside, closing the door against the storm's rage. Y/N stood before her, drenched and trembling, their eyes wild with fear.

"What's wrong?" Alcina asked, her voice gentle but firm, trying to anchor Y/N in the present.

"I... I can't breathe," Y/N gasped, clutching at their chest. "The nightmares... I can't..." Their words trailed off into sobs, their body shaking uncontrollably.

Alcina's heart ached at the sight. She wanted nothing more than to hold Y/N, to offer the physical comfort she knew they needed. But she held back, respecting their boundaries. Instead, she knelt down to their level, her eyes meeting theirs.

"Y/N, look at me," she said softly. "You're safe here. Focus on my voice."

Y/N's eyes darted around the room, their breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Alcina spoke again, her voice steady and calm. "In and out, Y/N. Breathe with me. In... and out..."

Slowly, Y/N tried to match Alcina's rhythm. The world narrowed to the sound of her voice, a lifeline in the storm of their mind. "That's it. You're doing great," Alcina encouraged, her eyes never leaving theirs.

Minutes passed, each one feeling like an eternity, but gradually, Y/N's breathing steadied. Their sobs subsided, leaving them exhausted and still shivering from the rain and the aftermath of their panic attack.

Alcina rose gracefully, her movements slow and deliberate. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes," she suggested. "I have something dry you can wear."

Y/N nodded weakly, too drained to argue. Alcina retrieved a robe from her wardrobe and handed it to them. She turned her back, giving Y/N privacy to change. Once they were in dry clothes, Alcina led them to a chair by the fireplace, where the warmth began to seep back into their bones.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alcina asked, sitting across from them, maintaining a respectful distance.

Y/N shook their head, their eyes downcast. "It was the same as always. The labs, the experiments... I couldn't escape."

Alcina's expression softened. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, Draga. I wish I could take away your pain."

"I know," Y/N whispered, their voice barely audible. "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away. It's not that I don't trust you. I just... I don't know how to accept help."

Alcina nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. "Healing takes time. And it's okay to take things at your own pace. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, and they looked at Alcina, seeing the unwavering support and care in her gaze. "Thank you," they said, their voice breaking. "I don't deserve your kindness."

Alcina shook her head gently. "Everyone deserves kindness, Draga Mae . Especially you."

For a moment, the room was silent, the storm outside a distant roar. Y/N took a deep breath, feeling a small measure of peace for the first time in what felt like forever. They still had a long way to go, but with Alcina by their side, maybe, just maybe, they could start to believe in the possibility of healing.

As the fire crackled and the storm raged on, Y/N felt a fragile hope begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth of Alcina's unwavering support. It wasn't a solution, but it was a step. And in that moment, it was enough. 

As the night slowly passed, Alcina stayed awake with Y/N, the storm outside gradually subsiding. The fire crackled softly, casting flickering shadows on the walls. Alcina kept a watchful eye on Y/N, who sat wrapped in a blanket, still trembling slightly from the ordeal.

After around two hours, Y/N, drained and needing sleep, gently curled into Alcina's side. Alcina hesitated for a moment, then softly rested her hand on Y/N's back. Y/N flinched but didn't pull away, a small but significant step.

"Draga," Alcina murmured, her voice gentle, "would it be alright if I held you?"

Y/N hesitated, their mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. The fear and trauma were still there, but so was Alcina's unwavering patience and care. Finally, they nodded, their voice barely a whisper. "Yes."

With utmost care, Alcina took Y/N and pulled them into her lap, wrapping her arms around them securely. Her touch was firm but gentle, a protective embrace that sought to shield rather than confine. It took a while for Y/N to relax, their body stiff and tense. Alcina remained still, her warmth a steady presence against Y/N's fears.

Gradually, Y/N's breathing slowed, and the tension began to melt away. They snuggled closer into Alcina's embrace, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. "It's actually not bad," Y/N mumbled, their voice muffled against Alcina's chest.

Alcina smiled softly, her heart swelling with a mix of relief and tenderness. "I'm glad," she whispered, her hand gently stroking Y/N's hair. "Rest now, sweetheart. You're safe."

As Y/N and Alcina settled into their embrace, the tranquility of the moment was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Alcina glanced towards it, a hint of curiosity in her eyes, before rising to answer.

"Come in," she called out, her voice carrying a warmth that invited entry.

The door creaked open, revealing Daniela, Cassandra, and Bela standing in the doorway, their expressions a mix of concern and determination.

"We wanted to stay with you tonight, Mother," Daniela spoke up, her voice surprisingly gentle compared to her usual playful tone.

Y/N's heart sank at the sight of the three daughters, realizing they were intruding on what was meant to be a private moment. They began to untangle themselves from Alcina's embrace, intending to make a quick exit, but Bela's voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Where do you think you're going, little one?" Bela asked, her tone softer than usual, a hint of warmth in her gaze.

Y/N hesitated, unsure of how to respond. "I... I was just going to leave, so you could have time together," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper.

Cassandra stepped forward, her expression earnest. "No, we want you to stay," she said firmly, her eyes meeting Y/N's with unwavering sincerity.

Y/N's heart swelled at the unexpected invitation, but they couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. "It's really okay, I don't want to intrude," they protested, their gaze flickering between the three sisters.

Bela approached them, her movements graceful yet purposeful. "Nonsense, little one," she said gently, reaching out to take Y/N's hand. "You're not intruding. You're part of our family now."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes at the simple, yet profound words. They nodded, their voice catching in their throat. "Thank you," they whispered, overwhelmed by the acceptance they found in the Dimitrescu sisters.

With a soft smile, Bela led Y/N back towards the bed, where Daniela had already curled up in Alcina's lap. Cassandra and Bela made room for Y/N to join them, and soon they were surrounded by the comforting presence of the Dimitrescu family.

As they settled in, Y/N felt a sense of belonging wash over them, a feeling they hadn't experienced in a long time. Bela's arm draped around them, offering a sense of security they had longed for. When tears threatened to spill once more, Bela gently brushed them away, her touch tender and reassuring.

"It's okay, little one," Bela whispered, her voice a soothing melody in the quiet room. "You're safe here with us."

And in that moment, as the storm raged outside and the fire crackled softly, Y/N knew they had found a home, not just within the walls of Castle Dimitrescu, but within the hearts of its inhabitants. And as they nestled closer into the embrace of their newfound family, they allowed themselves to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could find healing and happiness in the warmth of their love.

[cjlouwho]

Twelve Christmases

chapter tags: suicidal thoughts (not Tommy), attempted suicide, ambiguous character death

read below or on ao3

Day 5: 2006

“Tommy, it's not-”

Tommy didn't bother listening to whatever was about to come out of Howie's mouth. He hurried toward the locker room, desperate to get away from everyone.

“Kinard!” Gerrard growled from behind him. Tommy stopped, then turned to face him and the rest of his team. “Where the hell do you think you're going?”

“I'm gonna change,” Tommy replied, clearing his throat. “And go home.”

“The hell you are! You're not goin' anywhere until we talk about what happened out there.”

B shift had already started working an hour before Gerrard's team got back from the last call. The station was filled with men, all staring between Gerrard and Tommy. When they realized just how serious this conversation was going to be, they all began to try and clear the area, but Gerrard stopped them.

“Everybody stays right where they are!” he demanded. “Kinard here can explain himself to everyone.”

Tommy glanced around at all the eyes on him. He wasn't one to embarrass easily, but this was different. He was embarrassed, ashamed, and felt like a total failure.

“Go ahead,” Gerrard beckoned, crossing his arms over his chest. “Explain.”

“The call was for a-”

“Speak up!”

He took a deep breath. “The call was for a woman who had climbed over the balcony railing at her apartment.”

“How high up was she?” Gerrard asked.

“Eighteenth floor. When... When we got to her apartment, I headed out to the balcony to see if I could talk her back over.”

“Ma'am, my name is Tommy Kinard, I'm a firefighter with the LAFD. Is it okay if I step closer to you?”

“I don't need anyone to talk to!” she yelled. “I just want it to end!”

He took a cautious step closer. “Can you tell me your name, please?”

“J- Joanie.”

“Joanie, I don't know if you heard me before, but my name is Tommy. I really don't want you to fall right now while we're talking. Can I help you over?”

“No!” she shouted. “I don't- I don't want to talk! I told you that!”

“I know you did, Joanie. I just want to understand how we got here a little bit better.” He inched closer. “Can you tell me that?”

“It doesn't matter.”

“It matters to me.”

There was a beat of silence as Tommy took one more step toward her. Enough so he could reach out and grab if it came to it. Still, he'd prefer to be right up beside her if possible.

“My... My husband left me,” she began, tears clouding her vision. “No. No, I left him. He wasn't a good man.”

“That's very brave of you, Joanie.”

“My kids, they're teenagers now and they don't- they just don't need me anymore. They get mad at me all the time, and nothing I ever do is right for them and I'm just so, so tired.”

“How old are your kids?”

Joanie let go of the railing with one hand to wipe at her eyes. “Thirteen and fifteen.”

“They're still young,” Tommy replied. “I'm gonna be really honest with you right now, Joanie, they still need you. It may not feel like it, but it's true.”

She shook her head. “You don't understand.”

“I do,” Tommy assured her. “I understand that you're feeling so alone right now, like no one is on your side. I understand that you think your kids will be okay without you, because they're strong and they're independent. Is that right?”

She nodded.

“Well, it's not true.” He moved even closer, one hand lingering between two rails, inches from gripping her back jean pocket. “Your kids need you so much more than you think. They will miss you every single day and they will wonder what they could have done differently to make you stay.”

“I don't... I don't want them to feel guilty,” she wept, inhaling in short bursts.

“They will though,” he answered honestly and, hell, he probably should not be the one doing this right now. He should back away and let someone else take over.

But it was him here, and the only thing he could do was tell her what he knew.

“I know you don't want that, Joanie. I know it's hard right now. I know you feel like you don't matter, but you matter so much. You matter to me, and you matter to your kids, and you matter to all the people on the ground right now. You matter to the woman who called 911. You matter, Joanie.”

She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. With one hand, she let go of the railing again, stepped her foot out, and Tommy took the opportunity to grab at her pocket.

Before he could get his other hand around her, she was leaning forward. “No!” he screamed, losing his grip on her. The only thing he held onto was a red handkerchief she had sticking out of her pocket. "No, no, no!” Then someone was pulling him back and away from the railing.

“And in your professional opinion,” Gerrard began as soon as Tommy finished his story, “was she jumping, or did she trip while she tried to turn back around?”

“I- I don't know.”

“Hm. Ya don't know. Guess you never will either, now.” He stared directly into Tommy's eyes and, as much as he wanted to look away, Tommy stared back. “Now two kids don't have their mom because you decided to grab onto a handkerchief instead of a civilian!”

“It wasn't his fault,” Howie spoke up. “I was-”

“I don't remember asking for your opinion, Han,” Gerrard interrupted, not even bothering to look over at the man. “A shift! You are free to go home. B shift, enjoy your night. Remember to try and save lives, not help in takin' them!”

As the crowd broke apart, Tommy headed into the locker room to grab his things. He jerked his duffel out of his locker, items spilling onto the ground. From behind, Gerrard continued to berate him.

“Damn it, Kinard, if you can't handle losin' somebody, you should have chosen a different career path!” he barked, kicking Tommy's spare t-shirt with his dirty boot. “Or, ya know, try savin' them next time!”

Tommy closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. He waited for the sound of Gerrard's footsteps to disappear before slamming his locker door shut.

His hand curled into a fist and he beat it against the locker once, twice, three times, letting out a yell with each hit.

His hand shook, pain radiating through his knuckles when he tried to stretch his fingers out.

“You want me to look at that?”

The voice made him jump. He turned to see Howie standing in the doorway, his face full of concern.

“I'm fine,” Tommy said, shaking out his hand. It was red, some of the skin torn at the knuckles, little beads of blood resting on the surface.

“You sure about that?”

“I said I'm fine, Howie.”

“It wasn't your fault, Tommy. I was there, right behind you. I saw-”

“Just stop!” Tommy yelled. “Please, Howie, just... just stop talking.” His eyes were red-rimmed and filling with tears. He needed everyone to be quiet and leave him the hell alone.

Howie nodded, backing out of the locker room and walking away.

*****

Tommy took a few minutes to pick his things up off the floor. His hands were still a bit shaky and, of all the things that dropped from his duffel, his keys were the toughest to find.

Once he finally found them, he grabbed up his stuff and headed for the door.

“Kinard!” Gerrard called out as Tommy neared the exit. He froze, turning slowly to face his captain.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Gotcha a Christmas present this year,” he said, holding out a grocery store bag.

Tommy looked between Gerrard and the bag. He couldn't help but be suspicious. 

“Come on,” he said, shaking the bag. “Don't have all day here.”

Tommy took the bag, opening it up and reaching in. He felt his heart drop as he pulled out a red handkerchief. “Wh... What's...”

Gerrard smirked. “It's hers. You gave it to an officer at the scene and, well, he said he wasn't gonna need it. I took it upon myself to make sure it got right back to you.” He stepped closer to Tommy, who couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the handkerchief. “I want you to look at that every single day and remember how you failed that woman and her children.” With a pat on his shoulder, Gerrard turned away. “Merry Christmas, Kinard!”

[alexanderwales]

Here are some ideas for characters in an anti-litRPG, essentially a litRPG that takes the core strength of "legibility" and turns it on its head, becoming a work of fiction which is a meditation on "illegibility" in modern society instead. See this post for vibes/thesis. (I swear if one more person tells me "this is just real life" I am going to explode with the anger of a thousand suns, the entire idea is that litRPG is a reaction to real life, and this is a reaction to the reaction which is not the same as just going back to real life, please understand my vision here, please.) The closest cultural touchstone is Kafka, but maybe some of the postmodernists are also close.

Characters

The False Prophet: Someone who has constructed an elaborate but flawed framework for understanding the system. There are obvious gaps and holes, and pointing these out will lead to endless arguments.

The Happy Incompetent: Someone who seems to have no special knowledge or skill, yet succeeds in spite of this, or possibly because of this. Unclear whether this is luck or something else.

The Insider-Outsider: Someone whose job is theoretically to help others navigate the system, but who is so mired in it that they have trouble communicating with outsiders. They will often use phrases like "you don't want to do that" when you ask advice on how to do something. They might also just be wrong.

The Documentarian: Someone who obsessively catalogs everything, convinced that with enough data, something will shake loose and the whole system will fall into place. They have no concrete guesses, just data and more data that they hope will sort out somehow.

The Willing Victim: Someone who has turned their confusion into philosophy, preaching acceptance, embracing what it means to not know. Stuck in a rut, unable to move, is right where they want to be. This is different from ignoring the system, since it involves basking in it.

The Persistence Hunter: Someone who succeeds through endless grind, toiling away, not having any greater understanding that anyone else, but throwing stuff at the wall enough times to actually get somewhere.

The Conspiracy Theorist: Someone who believes the system to be obtuse on purpose rather than through emergent forces, seeing patterns related to that, insistent that understanding the adversarial nature is key to ultimate mastery.

[bennie-jerry]

My Beef with Wanda Maximoff - An MCU Rant

Sorry not sorry, I will ride the Wanda-ain't-shiitake train till the wheels are worn out. I do not care what her fangirls say. And if you're legitimately going to be so overly offended just from me disliking a FICTIONAL character, I highly suggest you click off, make some tea, and watch a Ghibli movie.

How many times does it need to be said? Just because someone suffers from some form of (small or big) trauma, IT DOESN’T GIVE THEM A PASS TO DO EVIL SH—

I really REALLY sincerely hope there's lore or bits I'm missing here (and if so, PLEASE tell me because I WANT to be wrong so BAD). But from what I know and remember, I feel as though I have every right to be disgusted with who Wanda is as a person.

It frustrates me so much how this carmine-colored narcissist will whine about people being scared of her, but she does stuff only a scary person WOULD do.

Purposefully setting the Hulk off so you could use him as a wrecking ball on innocent civilians in Johannesburg during Age of Ultron? Seems scary as heck.

Literally warping the universe itself to hunt and kill a teenager who did nothing to you during Multiverse of Madness? Seems scary as heck.

Brainwashing an ENTIRE town JUST so you can live in delusion about your man not being dead during Wandavision? Seems DOUBLE scary as heck.

Don't even try to defend what she did in Age of Ultron. Even if she supposedly didn't INTEND to have civilians killed, she sure as HECK didn't seem all too sorry that it happened. She wasn't ‘regretful’ that she did it. She was only ‘regretful' when Bruce confronted her on it. She has the nerve (the utter AUDACITY) to hate Tony Stark for the same CRAP that she does (if not worse, which let's be honest—it’s worse).

At least Tony Stark DIED out of an effort to save everyone, whereas Wanda usually tends to only help others when it benefits HER.

Wanda is nothing more than a Multiversal brat with a god-complex and no one can tell me otherwise. If something does not go 100% her way, she completely acts out and throws a reality-warping tantrum.

“Oh, but she tried to fix everything in Wandavision!”

Yeah, only after finding out she was BRAINWASHING people!

How the FREAK do you reality warp an ENTIRE town (especially at the large radius she used her magic) and expect NO one to be under mind control? Would you NOT try to fly around the premises to see if ANYONE else was there?

Once again, even if this was an example where she didn't INTEND for it to happen, then that proves another great flaw that she has.

Wanda hardly (if ever) thinks through her actions. And then when her actions bite her in the butt, she has the nerve to be surprised. Wanda almost never (and I'm being generous here) considers how her actions harm or affect others until it turns around and affects HER.

She did not deserve Vision, he was too good of a man for her, sorry not sorry.

Just the stuff she did BEFORE Multiverse of Madness ALONE is enough to not like her.

Let's not even get into the fact she never ACTUALLY apologized to Bruce Banner for everything she put him through. All she said at most when he confronted her is, “I know you're angry…”

Oh wow, REALLY? I couldn't POSSIBLY understand why Banner would EVER be angry at you for essentially brain-raping him (going into his mind and memories without his CONSENT) and using his worst fears against him to trigger Hulk so you could use him like a personal killing machine, further lessening the very few support systems he already HAD. She should feel grateful Banner didn't immediately throw her through a wall upon seeing her.

“But she became an avenger and helped them in Endgame!”

I could not give less of a DOOKIE about the fact she did that. Wanda fighting Thanos was literally the ONLY option she possibly had if she didn't wanna turn into dust along with the other half of the population. Sure, she also did it because she was forced to kill her boo BECAUSE of Thanos, but let's be honest—she would've had to fight him regardless. Her handing Thanos’ butt to him (while a very cool scene) doesn't prove JACK about her character.

The fact she ever BECAME an avenger after effectively traumatizing the MAJORITY of them is mind-boggling to me.

“Oh, I'm sorry I weaponized all of your traumas against you for my own personal gain because I wanted to work with a genocidal robot, can I join you guys?”

“Sure, Wanda! Come into the team and we'll pretend like you didn't do a darn thing!”

(The fact this isn't even ALL that she's done is absurd, I can still keep going—)

Don't even get me STARTED on Multiverse of Madness. And before anyone tries to say, “She did it so she could have a reality with her children!”

BRO, HER KIDS WEREN'T EVEN FREAKING REAL—

Wanda Freaking Maximoff wanted to murder a TEENAGER all for some children that were not even ACTUAL people. And when she did have them, didn't she make them FIGHT against the military in Wandavision or am I mistaken (which I VERY MUCH hope I am because what the he---)?

I do not care whatsoever what her reason is or what trauma she went through. Attempted murder of a minor (ESPECIALLY in this case, a minor who didn't even do anything) is inexcusable to me.

There is no way in frog fingers you guys are ACTUALLY trying to justify and/or downplay a grown ADULT trying to murder a CHILD (because that's what America was—a CHILD).

(Her and Miguel O'Hara would get along GREAT, when's the collab--)

And by then, she had ALREADY brutally murdered a whole bunch of people and probably corrupted the multiverse even FURTHER than she already had.

It wasn't until an ALTERNATE version of her (who ACTUALLY had her kids) told her to sit the [BLEEP] down (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get my drift).

Wanda is NOT a victim. Is she a good villain? Yes. But this witch isn't a victim. Not anymore at least. She doesn't apologize for her actions. She doesn't take responsibility. She doesn't reflect on what she does.

And even when she DOES finally do ANY of those things in ANY capacity, the damage is already done. In fact, it's not JUST done, it's also BURNT inside the oven causing smoke to go everywhere.

There is no rhyme or reason you could pull out that will convince me to be anything short of angry with this character and I'm so tired of her fans trying to defend her just because she was a lab rat and lost her man.

Once again, it's not bad to like a character that does awful stuff. But please, for sanity sake, STOP acting like they're a lost little angel BECAUSE you like them. I know they say "hurt people hurt people" but that still doesn't justify doing bad stuff just because bad things happened to YOU.

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

i know your already working on my series but just hear me out okay. hear me out. crazy x crazy trope but with ethan and reader puts bratty cocky ethan in his place. "not so confident now are you, you little bitch? or are you that drunk off my pussy you can barely think?" while he just pouts and glares at her but is quite literally unable to speak and can only whine and whimper for her. double points if she's ghostface with the baileys, taking revenge because of lets say she was either ambers ex or younger sister and is PISSED at tara for taking her girlfriend/older sister away. (TRIPLE THE POINTS if she knew ethan, quinn and richie since childhood too) sorry its thot hrs and i wanna dom him

I hope you like this! I was determined to finish it tonight. I love a good psychotic moment💕

Savages - Ghostface!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: You and your childhood best friend both lost someone from what happened in Woodsboro at the hands of the Carpenter Sisters. You start to plot with him and his family to get revenge, but he's being a little brat after his first kill.

Contains: 3.2k words, Sub!Ethan, Dom/Psycho!Reader, Oral - m and f recieving, Face sitting/riding, p in v, unprotected sex, mentions of death and violence/blood. (If I missed anything, please let me know. My brain has tapped out for the night haha)

A/N: I hope y'all like it:) I love sub Ethan and a good psycho!reader moment.

Ethan knew he loved you, but the second you put on the Ghostface robe and mask, he fell even harder. It’s hard to believe that the two of you made it to this point. He was a sweet kid, and you were always with his family growing up, until the day your parents moved you to Woodsboro. You tried to remain friends with him, until you got a girlfriend. You weren’t anything more than best friends at that point, but he’d message you like a controlling boyfriend. He professed his feelings, but it was too late. You’d already found someone in your new town. Someone you could experience a relationship with.

He was devastated when you rejected him, and when he wouldn’t let it go, you eventually had to block him. Amber was pretty much the exact opposite. She even asked you about opening the relationship up to other people, just because she wanted you to experience other things. She wasn’t possessive like Ethan, but she never wanted to just let you go.

When Richie showed up to the hospital with Sam after Tara was attacked, he recognized you immediately. He pretended he didn’t, though, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he wasn’t originally from the area where he met Sam. You finally pulled him to the side one day and talked to him, and he pleaded with you to not tell anyone that you already knew him. That was the moment that you knew he had something to do with what was happening.

You didn’t suspect Amber, though, until the day of the party. You were upstairs in her room when she pulled out a knife.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said, plunging the knife into your abdomen.

“What the fuck? It’s you?” you sobbed, dropping to your knees as you noticed the blood starting to drip onto her carpet.

“I can’t have you on the suspect list. You trust me, don’t you?” she asked. You hesitated before nodding, “I didn’t stab you anywhere that will cause a lot of damage, okay? I’m going to call 911, and by the time they get here, Richie and I will be done, and you’ll be saved.”

“I feel really dizzy,” you cried out, Amber’s hand wrapping around your mouth so you couldn’t make anymore noise to draw attention to yourself.

“You’re going to pass out soon. You’re losing a lot of blood,” she said, before the rest of her words sounded muffled, your vision completely fading.

She was right, you were saved. You woke up in your hospital bed the next day, and learned that Amber and Richie didn’t survive. You were devastated, but you knew the one person you could talk to that would understand your pain.

You unblocked Ethan’s number and called him. You could hear the tears in his voice as he answered. When he found out that you’d been a part of everything, he was mad at first, screaming at you until his voice was raw. He eventually heard you out, mainly because he had no voice to speak, and learned that you had nothing to do with what happened to Richie. The two of you decided that the Carpenter sisters needed to pay for taking away your loved ones.

You fake-smiled when Sam and Tara walked into your hospital room a little later in the day.

“Someone’s doing better,” Sam said, pushing Tara up beside you before taking a seat at the foot of your hospital bed.

“Yeah, I’m on a lot of good drugs,” you laughed, as Sam and Tara exchanged their glances. “What?” you asked, feeling like there was something they knew and you didn’t.

“Richie and Amber were, uh…” Tara said, looking over to her sister for help.

“They were what?” you asked, turning your attention to Sam as well.

“Your girlfriend and my boyfriend were together,” she said, a stoic look on her face. “We were both getting cheated on by psychos.”

You were livid that Sam was talking about her like that, but you felt a little hurt. You and Amber always promised that if you were going to see other people in your relationship, you’d let the other person know. A few tears started to slip out as Tara offered you the box of tissues on the bedside table.

“Thanks,” you said, grabbing a couple out of the box before Tara sat it back down. “How do you guys feel about getting the fuck out of here? Like, once Tara and I graduate?”

“What did you have in mind?” Sam asked, thinking that it might not be the worst idea.

“I think we should go to New York. I grew up there, and I really think you guys would like it,” you smiled, as Tara nodded.

“Fuck it, let’s start looking into schools. After you get out of here, of course.”

You called Ethan, squealing in excitement when you and all your friends got their acceptance letters. That’s when the plan was officially set into motion, with the help of Quinn and his dad. Having a detective on your side of things was going to heavily benefit the outcome of everything, and you couldn’t wait to make the people that took Amber from you pay for what they’d done.

Once you started school, you were ‘introduced’ to Ethan. No one could know that the two of you already knew each other in attempts to not ruin the plan before you got to do any damage. Fortunately for the two of you, when you immediately hit it off and seemed to have your own little inside jokes, they chalked it up to young love.

You weren’t official with Ethan for a while, until your “Friends’” constant nagging about it convinced you to give him the chance he wanted. Once you found out that poor boy was a virgin, and you helped him out with that, he was wrapped around your finger. He worshipped the ground you walked on and would do anything you asked him to. The only thing he hated was when you brought up Amber. He hated that she got you first.

The night Ghostface “killed” Quinn and actually killed Anika, you were waiting in the alley on the opposite side of the building for your boyfriend to finish what he went in there to do. You were both supposed to be in econ, but you were his alibi. They’d never suspect you, so they could never suspect Ethan if you said you were with him in class.

He was stripping off the robe as he bolted down the fire escape. He tossed it down to you, and you quickly put it in your backpack as he joined you to walk in a normal pace towards the alley exit at the back of the building.

“How was it?” you asked, smiling at him.

“God, baby. It was the biggest rush. I wish you could’ve been in there with me,” he said, pulling you into a kiss once you made it onto the sidewalk.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re doing such a good job for me,” you praised, ruffling your fingers in his hair a little as he started to pull away. “I can’t wait to make the others pay for what they did to Amber.”

He huffed, his irritation at the mention of her name obvious as you cocked your eyebrow at him. “Do you have a problem?”

“Yeah, I do. I was so excited about what just happened, but then you mention your stupid fucking ex. I feel like she’s all you care about,” he said, his angry tone and harsh remarks about Amber pissing you off. “We’re in this together, remember? Me and you?”

“Yeah, and your dad, and Quinn.”

He started to walk away from you, heading towards his dorm. You followed him, trying to keep up with his pace.  

“Quit acting like such a brat,” you said, a few feet behind him on the otherwise empty sidewalk.

“Quit being such a bitch,” he muttered, but the second those words left his mouth, he knew he was in trouble. You quickened your pace, slamming him against the brick wall the second you made it to him.

“What did you call me?” you asked, his eyes going wide at the lust in your tone. He stayed silent, just watching you. “Huh, nothing to say now?” you scoffed, “You know I’m in charge here, baby.”

You pulled away, smiling sweetly at him as you took his hand in yours.

The walk back to the dorm was silent because Ethan knew what he was in for. He was excited, but also nervous. The few scenarios where he did decide to get mouthy with you ended in him being edged to the point of tears, begging you to finally let him cum. He was hard at the thought, but he was always scared you’d just walk away and not let him get the release he needed.

Once you made it inside the dorm he shared with Chad, you knew you had plenty of time to be alone with him. Chad probably wasn’t coming back for the night, but you knew you’d have to get back home at some point.

“Take your clothes off,” you said to Ethan, the stern tone in your voice making him comply. You watched him shed each article of clothing and smirked when you saw the tent in his boxers once he removed his jeans. “Aww, baby. Did you get hard from killing someone? Or was it me pushing you against the wall earlier?” you cooed, as he slid his boxers down, his cock standing at attention in from of you.

“It’s because of you,” he said, his arms resting at his sides as he waited for you to tell him what to do next.

“That was the right answer,” you smiled, “Lay back on the bed.”

He did what you said, watching you intently. You walked over to him, and started to stroke his cock that was resting against his tummy.

“Fuck,” he groaned, before you leaned down and took him in your mouth. He thought you were going to take it easy on him tonight, until you pulled your head away after a minute, his cock drenched in your spit. “Babe,” he whined out.

You rolled your eyes at his neediness. “I want you to grab your cock and start stroking, baby.”

He did what you said, your saliva making his hand glide up and down with ease. After a few minutes, he started to whine.

“This doesn’t feel as good as when you do it,” he whimpered, the tip of his cock turning red as he tried to get himself to cum.

“Well, that’s too bad, baby. What was it that you called me?” you fake-pondered, your pointer finger going in between your teeth, “Oh that’s right. I’m a bitch.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said, his eyes pleading for you to touch him again. You noticed his hand was no longer moving.

“Did I say you could stop?” you questioned, as his hand movements started back up. “Good boy.” He whined at your words, his hand moving faster. “Do you want me to keep praising you, baby?”

He nodded his head as he kept going.

“You did such a good job tonight. You know how wet you made me when you killed her?” you said, your sadistic side on full display. “I’m so proud of you for doing whatever I ask you to.”

You noticed he was starting to get close, his hand moving even faster and his heaving chest, along with his whimpers making it obvious. Just as he was about to cum, you stopped him.

“Don’t you fucking cum,” you scolded, his hand coming to a stop as he started to whine even more from the lost orgasm.

“I needed it so bad,” he begged, as you shook your head.

“I don’t know if you deserve to cum. Maybe if you didn’t feel the need to call me names…” you trailed off, as he started to get really frustrated.

“I wouldn’t have called you that if you wouldn’t have brought her up,” he snapped, your eyes getting dark at his words.

“Hmm, I think someone’s a little insecure. Are you worried that she fucked me better than you do?” you questioned, “Because I don’t know what other reason you have to be jealous of someone that’s dead.”

“Stop talking about her,” he said, growing furious at the thought of you having sex with someone else.

“You are just too cute,” you said, slipping your shirt over your head. “I can’t believe that you think you’re going to have the upper hand in this, ya know? Like you really think that I’m going to stop talking about her. I loved her, Ethan.”

His eyes stayed on you as you continued to strip out of your clothes,

“What? Cat got your tongue, baby? You have nothing to say?” you asked, sliding your panties down. “Even if you did, I know the perfect way to shut you up.”

You crawled up on the bed, your knees right beside his head as you swung your leg over to straddle his face.

“You better make me cum, or you don’t get to cum. Got it?” you asked, as he nodded before you lowered yourself.

His tongue gently moved against your clit at first. He knew just how you liked it, so he wanted to pace himself. Once he started to lick a little faster, your hands went down to his curls as you really started to ride his face.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” you moaned out, his hands going to your hips as he helped you move against his mouth.

You whimpered when his tongue dipped inside you, the muscle massaging your walls as he ate you out. Once he could tell you were getting close, he lifted your hips a little to focus on your clit again. The second he sucked it into his mouth, you started to feel your orgasm building. You gripped the headboard to keep yourself stable, your hands and legs starting to shake.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you whined out, one hand staying on the headboard as your other went back to his hair. You were tugging at it as that euphoric feeling hit, his groaning from your pulling making the orgasm more intense. He kept your hips moving until you rode out your high, your body getting a little tired from the release.

You got off his face as he tried to catch his breath. He was anticipating what you’d do next, because he made you cum, and he was hoping you’d keep up your end of the deal. You didn’t say anything as you straddled his waist and lined his cock leaking precum with your entrance. He groaned out when you sank down, the feeling making his brain turn to mush.

You started slowly; your hands placed on his chest as you took your time. He was desperate for more, but you weren’t going to give in that easily.

“You aren’t so cocky now, are you? You little bitch.” You put extra emphasis on that word because that’s what he called you, and he needed to know his place. He glared at you as you continued to take your time with him.

Whimpers flooded out of his mouth when you started to bounce on him, his cock almost completely out of you before you sank back down onto him. His hands went to your hips to help you keep your pace feeling like he was finally getting somewhere. He started to babble, his words sounding like ‘I fucking love your pussy’. You smirked at his current state.

“Look at you, so drunk off my pussy that you can’t even talk,” you said, your breathing getting heavy as the tip of his cock kept hitting your g-spot. “Are you okay, sweet boy?”

He started to whimper again, his orgasm quickly approaching. You decided to let him cum, as you leaned forward, your chest almost pressed against his. He gripped your hips harder as he started to thrust up into you, your hips rolling back to meet each one.

Your orgasm was right on the edge, your walls starting to flutter a little. He was trying so hard to get you through another one before he came.

“Fuck, baby. I’m cumming,” you moaned out, as his whines got even louder. Your walls spasmed around him, making his breath hitch in his throat.

The skin slapping and his sounds were bouncing around the room as he kept pounding into you.

“Can I please cum?” he begged, praying that you’d say yes.

You were proud of him for using his words that he hadn’t been able to form. “Yes, baby.”

He whimpered out as his hot cum painted your walls, his grip on your hips getting shaky as he slowed your movements.

“Holy fuck,” he said, his hands rubbing against your back as his cock stayed inside of you.

You listened to his heartbeat as you got out of your dominating headspace, starting to feel a little bad.

“I’m sorry I talk about her so much. I really loved her,” you mumbled against his chest.

“I guess I just feel like I’m always coming in second place to her,” he sighed, sadness in his voice.

“You aren’t, though. I think we would’ve ended up together one way or another,” you laughed a little as he kissed the top of your head.

“After we’re done with all of this, can we just focus on us?” he asked, as you nodded against him.

You laid there for a few more minutes, before remembering that you needed to head back to the apartment.

“I have to go, baby,” you said, sitting up. He groaned as you slid him out of you.

“Do you have to?” he asked, wanting nothing more than for you to stay in his bed with him a little longer.

“If we want this plan to work, then yes,” you said, noticing his cum dripping down your inner thighs as you tried to grab your clothes off the floor. “You came a lot, fuck.”

You grabbed some tissues and wiped it from your thighs before you started to put your clothes back on. He started to laugh a little as you glanced over to him. “What?”

“My cum is going to keep dripping out of you,” he said, as you rolled your eyes.

“Lucky for you, I think it’s hot. It’s a nice little reminder of how good I made you feel,” you said with a smile. “I love you, baby,” you said, kissing him before grabbing your purse and rushing out of the room.

“I love you, too.”

You’d almost made it to the apartment when you noticed all the flashing lights up ahead and could see Mindy and Chad sitting on the sidewalk.

“What’s going on?” you asked, looking around to see the black tarp covering a body in the alley.

“Anika,” was all that Tara could say, before Sam spoke up, “And Quinn. Our apartment is a crime scene right now.”

“Oh my god,” you said, turning on your crocodile tears as you looked over to Mindy. “I’m so sorry.”

“Was Ethan in class tonight?” she asked coldly, her question catching you off guard.

“Yeah, he was sitting beside me the whole time. Then we went back to his dorm for a little bit before I came home,” you lied, as she started to shake her head.

“None of this makes any fucking sense.”

[azrielslightintheshadows]

I fell for you. (Final part).

Azriel x f!Reader

Summary; based on this request.

Warnings; angst

Masterlist.

Part one , Part two

Azriel was the winner of the two polls; poll 1 , poll 2 So here it is!

One day as you were sitting on a bench with Lady Autumn enjoying the view of the garden she said;

“You know… I would love if you and Eris ended up together, you’re so sweet and kind, my son would be lucky to have you.” She smiled and you almost choked on air. You and Eris… you had thought about that, but you weren’t sure if he had this type of feelings towards you. Lust wasn’t enough for someone to get married. And what would happen if Azriel found out?

One month later.

Your days were the same making you feel way too bored, Lady Autumn was nice company but after a while you didn’t have anything to talk about. Eris was spending most of his time in his office and barely came out for dinner. You went for walks with Lucien a few times, but always excused yourself when Elain joined you.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 🍁 🍂 ☁️˙✧˖°

After breakfast you decided to walk around the palace, maybe you could find something interesting to spend your time. As you were walking down a big corridor Elain approached you. You turned the other way and pretended that you were looking at the paintings.

“I know you’re avoiding me y/n. Please I need to speak to you.” She exclaimed and grabbed your arm. You shot her a warning look and she shook her head. “Please” “Okay… speak.” You shrugged.

“Listen… Azriel..” you scoffed and she lifted one finger to shush you. “Azriel helped me adjust in this world, we spent way too much time together and this created some feelings. It wasn’t love though at least not in a romantic way. We cared for each other because everything we went through together bonded us. We were both alone, and we had needs, this is what it was, lust. Azriel couldn’t understand his feelings for you, he couldn’t see the way his face lit when he talked about you. He thought he loved you as a friend. Your absence destroyed him. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep… he completely broke down. I tried to approach him as a friend, but he didn’t want to see me again, he hurt himself as a punishment for not understanding the type of feelings he had for you. What I’m trying to say is that he was always in love with you, he just didn’t know.” Her voice was soft yet steady as she spoke, a sign she was telling the truth. “Okay” you shrugged not wanting to show any emotion. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Follow me” she said and hurried off, your curiosity took the best of you, and you quickly followed her. She entered her room and opened her closet, taking out something from the back.

“The night before you left, I saw a dream… a vision, and I asked Feyre to go through my mind and paint what I saw. When I came here, I took it with me because I didn’t want Azriel to see it. I’m afraid that if I show anyone their future, I might somehow destroy it.” She explained and dropped the sheet that covered the painting. Your jaw dropped.

It was a painting of you standing next to Azriel, it was probably Starfall because at the background the sky was bright with starlight and dust. What shocked you the most was the young boy Azriel held between you. The boy looked around three years old, his hazel eyes wide, his small wings wide behind him and his cheeks painted with stardust. He looked so much like Azriel, but you could see a little bit of you in there too.

“If you’re afraid of destroying the future when you show it to someone, why did you show me?” You asked after the initial shock.

“Because I can’t see it anymore… because I only see Azriel alone in a room… dying” her eyes watered. You took a sharp breath and stared at her. “It is my duty to inform you about this, Rhysand is coming here today to have a meeting with Eris... Cassian and Azriel will probably accompany him. I wanted you to have all the facts before facing him”.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch to you. I would like to blame the stupid bond, but it will only sound as an excuse. You are so nice Elain, never change that.” You hugged her and she smiled. “No I get it, I’m sorry for causing all this trouble, I should have stayed away from Azriel.” She lowered her gaze.

“You went through enough, you deserved to have something you for once desired. Don’t feel guilty” you smiled and winked before leaving her room.

You hurried into Eris’ office not bothering to knock. “What is it little fox?” he murmured not lifting his head from the papers he was reading. “Rhysand is visiting today.” You spoke.

“I’m aware” Eris replied.

“Is Azriel coming too?” you asked and finally got his attention. He glanced at you.

“Missing him?” he quirked a brow.

“I would like to have a talk with him” you replied, and he hummed.

“Why are you here?” he asked and you sent him a questioning look. “Do you want to know if he is coming or if I will stop you from going back to him?”

You blushed.

“I won’t stop you. He is your mate… you are meant to be together.” He sighed and nodded “he is coming just please let me know if I need to request another healer from Helion”.

“I don’t know yet… I just want to talk to him.” You shrugged.

“Okay, better change clothes. I don’t want the shadowsinger to destroy my whole palace when he sees you in my court’s colors”.

You snorted at that and then approached him, taking one of his hands in your own. “Thank you Eris… for everything”.

“You’re welcome little fox, I’m here if you ever need to piss shadow boy off.” He smirked and returned to the papers.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 🍁 🍂 ☁️˙✧˖°

You changed into a black long dress that showed just enough cleavage and hugged your curves in all the right spots. You wanted to make Azriel drool and also honor your previous High Lord. You took a deep breath and walked down the hall reaching the big doors of Eris’ office. You could feel Rhysand’s power flowing around the palace making everything look darker. You let the bond resurface and Azriel pulled it instantly, making your heart break. He was still waiting for you. You opened the door and entered. Everyone’s head snapped into your direction and their jaws dropped.

“Y/n” Azriel whispered.

The rumors were right, the shadowsinger was thinner, his eyes were red and empty. He looked like he hadn’t slept for a year, and you could tell that he was just the same on the inside.

“Hello” you smiled, and your eyes fell on Rhysand. He stood up and hugged you.

“We missed you sweetheart” he whispered into your hair. “I missed you too, so much” you murmured.

Cassian approached when Rhysand let go of you and picked you up.

“You look good little one” he boomed, you hadn’t heard this nickname for awhile and it made you tear up.

When Cassian let go of you, Azriel took a deep breath and came closer.

“Can we talk?” he asked, and you glanced at Eris who nodded with a smile.

You walked out, Azriel following you without a word. You both entered your room and he shut the door.

“How are you?” he asked and kept his eyes on the floor.

“Fine. How about you?”

He shrugged and pushed a hand through his hair.

“I messed up.” He stated.

“I know” you replied and suppressed the need to hug him.

“I love you Y/n, I love you so much that I can’t breathe. I’m such an idiot for not realizing it before the bond snapped. I always thought that I loved you as a friend, that I needed to protect you because you were a part of my family. I thought that it was the loneliness that made me feel lust for you and made me dream of starting a family with you. I didn’t dare to tell you, I was so afraid that I would ruin our friendship. I don’t even know how to explain everything. I can’t explain what I feel for you… what I felt for you before the bond. You have every right to kick me out and never speak to me again, I will respect it even though the thought is killing me. But please believe me when I say that I have always loved you, you are the greatest thing that has happened to me, and I will spend the rest of my life punishing myself for losing you.” He was crying, sobs shaking his body as he waited for your response. You could feel everything down the bond, and you were sure that he wasn’t lying.

“I don’t know what to say Az. I’m willing to come back to the night court and give you a chance but I can’t promise anything. If you mess it up, I will leave you for good.” You said and cupped his jaw, wiping the tears away with your thumb. He leaned into your touch and sighed. “I promise I won’t let you down.” He whispered and you felt the burn of a tattoo on your neck.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next day you left for the night court, you didn’t miss the nod Elain gave you, her eyes moving to the covered painting in her arms. You smiled as you remembered the little boy and leaned further into Azriel before he shot up to the sky.

Azriel kept his promise, he showed you how much he loved you every day, he treated you like his queen, and everything changed for the best. After a year you accepted the bond and later found out that when Nesta changed herself and Feyre making them able to give birth to Illyrian babies she changed you too. You remembered that day, when a shooting pain sent you on the ground. You had felt like your insides were rearranging themselves.

A few years later you gave birth to a sweet baby boy, he looked exactly like the painting as he grew up, the only difference were the shadows flowing around him and whispering in his ear just like his father's.

You watched as Azriel flew around with your son, throwing stardust on his cheeks and laughing. They landed next to you and Azriel wrapped one arm around your shoulders, holding Damien with the other, as you all watched the beautiful spectacle of Starfall and the small tattoo on your neck disappeared.

He didn’t let you down.

Requests are open but delayed!

@sagskylar01 , @kalulakunundrum , @amysangel , @i-love-morally-gray-characters

[gingiesworld]

Hello there! I was thinking about, Wanda and Yn being besties, but Yn was in love with her. Vision and Wanda were together. The time can be, when they finish high school and have to go to college.

So Vision heard a conversation Yn was having with Nat about being them being in love with Wanda but they wouldnt do nothing and he got angry and wait for them, he punched them and got cut on the cheek and said he will killed them if they were being still friends with Wanda.(well you can choose the injuries but not too much please) so yn chose to join the military for example and forget about everything, mostly Wanda. They get in touch with Nat. When they came back to where they used to leave they met Wanda again but she was so angry at them for leaving until she heard a talk from Nat and yn when they were talking about what happened and you know, she needed some time to think.

Too long, sorry hahaha

I have decided that this request will be better as maybe a two or three shot series. Thank you nonnie for the request and I hope you guys enjoy it.

Love Is Fickle

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Violence.

18+ MINORS DNI

Everyone who knew Y/N and Wanda knew the two were inseparable. Especially growing up best of friends, but everyone who knew Y/N, knew they were in love with her. They always gazed at her like she was the most important thing in the world. They hung onto every word she spoke. They also saw how their heart broke when Wanda announced that she was now dating Vision. Especially with the end of the school year coming, Nat always felt the need to protect them, especially since their father, Captain Rogers was away on tour.

"You need to tell her Y/N." Nat told them, the two were stood in what they thought was an empty room at one of Tony Stark's fanous parties.

"I can't." They told her. "She is my best friend, I couldn't lose that over my feelings."

"You know I love you right, but I can't watch you torture yourself whenever you're around her. Especially when she doesn't seem to care about you as you do her." Nat rubbed her brow. "Listen Y/N, you need to move on from Wanda. I already know you have applied for NYU to go with her."

"Nat." Y/N tried.

"You're only hurting yourself." Nat told them before walking away, leaving Y/N alone. Neither realising that Vision had heard their conversation.

As the party went on, Vision gathered some of his friends as he watched Y/N like a hawk, wrapping his arms around Wanda who waved at her best friend. She watched as Y/N left through the crowd, towards the back yard.

"I'm just going to say hi to Victor." Vision kissed Wanda's cheek before disappeared through the crowd, following Y/N with his friends.

The back yard was empty, besides Y/N who just stood with there drink in their hand. Not realising that Vision and his friends stood behind them. Victor and Bobby grabbed Y/N from behind as Vision stood before them, a sly smirk on his face.

"I want you to stay away from Wanda." He told them as he threw a punch.

"She is my best friend." Y/N told him as he shook his head, throwing a second punch.

"She is my girlfriend. She will never love you." He spat at them as he continued to punch, Y/N was struggling to stay on their feet. "If I see you anywhere near my girl, I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

All Y/N could do was groan as they lay on the floor, bloodied and bruised. Of course their conversation with Nat had been overheard by Vision. Of course he knew how they truly felt for the brunette.

"Have you seen Y/N?" Nat asked Wanda who shook her head no. "I'm supposed to give them a ride home."

"Last I saw they were headed to the back." Wanda pointed as Vision returned to her side.

"Thank you Wanda." Nat made her way through the crowd, heading out to the back yard. She noticed it wasn't well lit like the rest of the house, but their wasn't really anyone out here. That was when she noticed someone lay on the ground. "Y/N?" She gasped when she saw their face. "Oh my god." She tried to wake them up when Tony came outside.

"What's going on Nat?" He asked her before his eyes landed on Y/N. "Come on. Let's get them in the pool house."

"I'm supposed to take them home." Nat told him as he sighed.

"We need to keep an eye on them." He told her. Remembering his first aid training. Laying them on the futon before disappearing to get a first aid kit and damp towels.

That was when Y/N started to distance themselves from Wanda. Even as the days went on, they had gotten their acceptance letter from NYU. Even though their mom was ecstatic, Y/N only felt pain in their chest. Wanda must have also gotten hers because they heard screaming from next door, and in no time, the door bell went.

"I got in!" Wanda screamed as Y/N gave her a sad smile. "Did you?"

"No." They lied to her, although Peggy never understood why they had lied to Wanda. It had been their dream to go to college together.

"That's ok. We got accepted into UCLA right. We can go there." Wanda told them as they shook their head no.

"You have dreamed of going to NYU, so go." Y/N told her.

"What about you?" Wanda asked as they shrugged.

"I guess I'll go to LA." They smiled at her. "Now go and celebrate with your boyfriend."

"But I want to celebrate with you." Wanda told them.

"I'm not really in the mood for celebrating right now." They told her with a gentle smile. She hugged them tight before she left their house.

"Why did you lie?" Peggy questioned as Y/N shrugged. "Does it have something to do with that boyfriend of hers?"

"It doesn't matter mama." Y/N told her as they headed upstairs, going on to their laptop, doing the one thing they knew they needed to do.

Wanda only noticed a couple of months after Y/N had disappeared, she had been busy with Vision who wasted no time in relishing in the absence of Y/N. So she went to the first person she could think of that may know something.

"Do you knew where Y/N is?" Wanda asked Nat who closed her locker.

"I don't." She lied. Of course she knew where Y/N was, but she promised them she wouldn't tell her. They also made Peggy promise not to mention where they were. Although she was proud of them, she was also disappointed.

As Graduation came, Y/N was still no where among the class, Wanda felt pain as she noticed their absence. They had dreamed of finishing high school together. Going to college together and maybe working together in the future.

Nat recieved letters from them over the years, from their training to going on tour. Lucky to return home whenever the college terms were in session and being gone before the breaks started. Nat also told them that Vision had broken up with her in their senior year. Nat wrote to them about all of the other things they had missed.

Although Wanda was pissed at Y/N for abandoning her, she missed her best friend. Especially when they just disappeared without a trace.

Y/N trudged the streets of Westview, walking down the familiar streets in their uniform, walking to the house they loved. Knocking on the door, only to be greeted by a crying Peggy.

"Hi mama." They smiled at her as she sighed. Wrapping her arms around her child. Although they had dropped out of school, she was still extremely proud of them.

"My baby." She cried as she hugged them tightly. "I missed you so much." She whispered when she pulled away to get a good look at them. "Your father should be home in a month or two."

"I know." Y/N smiled as they followed her inside. Smiling at how little their home had changed in the years they haven't been here.

"Have you spoken to Natasha?" Peggy asked as she made the two some tea, knowing that they haven't really kept in contact with Wanda.

"Yeah. I told her that I would be home." They told her as the doorbell rang. Y/N smiled as they went to open it to be wrapped in a hug by Natasha.

"I missed you soldier." She beamed as Y/N led her inside, Peggy walking in with two cups of tea before disappearing to make one for Natasha. "You have missed so much here. Tony and Pepper finally got engaged."

"Really?" Y/N questioned as Nat nodded as she thanked Peggy for the drink. "It's about time."

"I know." She smiled before she placed the cup down. "Also Tony found out that you're coming home today and decided to throw a party for you."

"Let me guess, you told him." They raised their brow as Nat turned to Peggy.

"Is this that English tea you have imported here?" She questioned as Y/N and Peggy chuckled.

"It is dear." She confirmed.

"Wow, it's really good." Nat smirked as she continued to drink before turning back to Y/N. "So we need to get you ready for tonight." Nat said as she took hers and Y/N's cup to the kitchen before dragging Y/N and their bag to their old room.

Just as they had followed Nat to their room, Wanda had knocked.

"Wanda, hi." Peggy smiled as she opened the door.

"Is Y/N home?" She questioned as Peggy just nodded, allowing Wanda inside who headed straight up to the room she used to spend a lot of her time when she was a kid. Freezing when she heard Nat's and Y/N's voices.

"Is Wanda doing ok?" Y/N questioned Nat.

"I think so." Nat answered. "I like to think she is but you left unexpectedly and then Vision."

"I hate that bastard." Y/N muttered. "I thought that if I had stepped away like he wanted me to, he would still treat her right and make her happy."

"He beat you up Y/N." Nat exclaimed. "He was the reason you left. You gave uo on your dream. Your's and Wanda's dream since you were kids!"

"I loved her then Nat!" They yelled at her. "I love her. I never really stopped but she will most likely hate me now!" They shrugged as Nat shook her head.

"She was hurt Y/N. You disappeared, without a word." Nat told them softly. "She didn't know why. She never got an explanation from you. Vision never even told her when he clearly knew what he had done."

Wanda let the tears escape as she heard their conversation. Wiping them quickly before she quickly bid her goodbye to Peggy and left. Heading home to her room, laying in her bed as she cried.

But she wasn't going to shy away from them. She wanted to see them. She needed to see them again. She wanted to hear it from them why they left. They owed her that.

So she made her way to the kitchen at the old Stark Mansion, grabbing a glass of wine as she leaned against the counter, waiting for Y/N who entered the kitchen with Nat beside them.

"Well, I thought I saw Carol back there." Nat said before she escaped as Y/N looked at Wanda with a nervous smile.

"Hi." They waved at her timidly before they grabbed a beer.

"We need to talk." She stated as she grabbed their hand. Leading them through to the back yard.

"You look good Wanda." Y/N smiled at her as they sipped their beer as Wanda shook her head.

"No. We are not doing that Y/N." She told them angrily. "I want answers. I want to know why you left. Why you just disappeared from the face of the earth. Why you lied to my face about getting in to NYU?" She spoke with tears in her eyes.

"I can't do that Wanda." Y/N told her.

"Why? Because of Vision?" She questioned as their eyes widened.

"How?" They started before she interrupted them.

"I overheard you and Nat earlier." Wanda told them. "My mom told me that she saw you come home and I wanted answers Y/N. I wanted to know why my best friend checked out on me before graduation. You abandoned our dream of college and maybe even working together! That was all you." She seethed as she poked their chest.

"I." Y/N sighed as they decided to tell her the truth. "He threatened me that night. At the party, he overheard a conversation between Nat and I and he found something out and he beat me up. He had Victor and Bobby hold me down while he punched me. Over and over again. Threatening me. He told me that he would kill me if I went anywhere near you."

"What did he find out?" Wanda asked them.

"It doesn't matter." Y/N shrugged as Wanda chuckled.

"It does matter. That is the whole reason why I lost you." Wanda told them. "So what did he find out?" She demanded as Y/N sighed, looking sadly in Wanda's eyes.

"He found out that I was in love with you. I still am in love with you." They watched as Wanda processed the information. "So I left. I dropped out and joined the military. I needed to get over you because you were never going to feel the same way." They stepped passed her. "Hell, it would be easier if you hate me." With that they walked away, leaving Wanda alone in the yard, thinking over everything she had just heard.

----------------------------------------------------

Hey beautiful people. I am going to make this into a two parter so keep your eye out for part two in the future. Happy reading guys and gays ;)

[euhla]

To you, who have lost yourself:

aventurine x gn!reader. a/n : guess who just broke up w their first ever bf 🤓☝️ tags. light angst, (not rlly) hurt/comfort, breakups, mainly just aven’s letter 4u. might add p2 but idk

Everything went like a dream at first; everything tastes sweet, all of Aventurine's demeanor and words always leave an impression on your mind. He was born to be a gentleman, you think.

But you should know more than anyone, that every sweet attitude and speech is a trap. A trap that pushes you over the edge of a cliff.

The cliff is that will lead you to an endless darkness.

“You look breathtaking, Ves'tacha.” and his hand always guides you.

You always loved it when you woke up in the morning, and looked at him still asleep in awe. How can there be a human who looks so stunning?

Stroking his hair, you always say good morning as soon as you see him start to open his eyes. The birds are chirping, and you both are still rotting in bed.

But saying goodbye was never in your vision. The ‘in the end, everyone you’ve ever loved will became a lesson’ was never be your wish. But you can't deny that not falling for sweet words is a lesson for you.

“This is not your fault, but mine. I.. i just need some time alone.” you are now reluctant to hear the words that came out of his mouth.

“But not breakup!” You can’t help but try to hold back your tears. But all you heard next were excuses coming out of his mouth.

How many days have passed since that day? You don't remember it anymore. You start to overworking yourself to forget it.

Forgetting how to eat on time, and how you miss sleeping with someone in your arms.

That first week was like hell, all you remember is crying. Staring at the letter you were holding, you just listened silently to Topaz—your ex's friend—excuse herself.

You ignore the letter for eight days, reluctant to open and read it. Or maybe you are afraid that you will remember everything again?

Day nine, you try to read it. Aventurine's handwriting that you've been missing all this time is clearly visible on the letter.

The “For you, who have lost yourself” writing is clearly visible on the front of the letter, written a little large by purpose.

‘Dearest,

I hope this letter is delivered safely to you.

I don't want to take back my apology. I also don't regret knowing you all this time. I can be happy and finding out about happiness all this time thanks to you. I can feel what love is thanks to you. I can live and love this life thanks to you. The other side of my heart desperately seeking for you, but it’s all too late now..

I can’t change the fact that i’ve hurt you— someone who loved me, also who’s important to me.

After spending a lot of time thinking and asking Topaz for advice, I decided to write a letter of apology—or rather the words I wish I could have said to you sooner:

Your presence always brings calm to me. I don't know how I can describe all the things you make me feel. And you are appreciated, please remember that well. You must love yourself more than you love other people.

I’m very proud of you. You are enough just as you are.

And I never lie when I praise you. I never lie when I say 'I love you'. I didn't lie when I confessed my feelings to you at that time. I never lie about everything I do and say to you.

I'm sorry I couldn't say this sooner.

I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you everything, especially my past.

I'm sorry for being such a coward hiding behind my words.

I'm sorry I didn't say this directly because I knew you would hate me

I’m sorry for all my mistakes.

It was while writing this letter that I realized the real reason I asked to break up; I want you to find someone better than me. Who doesn't just rely on his words even though he is actually a coward.

All my apologies are not enough to replace your feelings which were hurt because of my actions and words.

‘To love is to let go.’ That's the advice Topaz gave me. And it took eight days for me to understand it.

So please, find someone better than me.‘

[yandereunsolved]

✧ ☾ Yandere Ghirahim ☾ ✧

"Oh, look at my small, dear sky child just waking up from their fitful slumber."

"What the—mhm... hmm... hmpf...!"

"You must be so confused. I understand entirely. I am the Demon Lord who presides over this land you look down upon, this world you call the surface. You may call me Ghirahim, or Lord Ghirahim. In truth, I very much prefer to be indulged with any sweet pet name you choose for me. But I'm not fussy."

"Wha— hmm... mhm... hmpf... mhm... mhpf... hmph!!!"

"Hush now, while I recall the story of how our destiny's were intertwined by the red string of fate. Long ago, my master spoke of you. He told me that you would be my only weakness. He shared your visage with me in a vision of the future. He promised you to me. That news just filled my heart with rainbows!"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! Help someone, anyone! Mhm... hmpf... hmm... mhmpf...!"

"My love, as arousing as your screams of desperation may be, I have to tell you that no one is saving you. You belong to me now, my sweet summer skychild. As long as you behave, you shall be treated with the finest jewels and linens, and please help me in service to my master Demise. However, if you go against my master's wishes with our eternal union, I will have to punish you most deliciously."

[intramoon]

hi aj !! i have a question i dont want to sound rude please know im not trying to be rude. i came back to simblr after a long time and its been really hard not to get discouraged. :/ my account is really dead no one interacts with me anymore. stuff is so different. i remember you used to be kinda popular but how do you deal with people not interacting with you as much as they used to?? i dont mean that in a mean way!! i dont want to quit simblr but idk how to get back to how things were

Hi! Don't worry, I don't think you're being rude, I understand where you're coming from. ♡ My response will be long because I have a lot to say about the topic, hopefully, it will help you.

If you were mostly active when I was in my "prime" (assuming that's what you mean by "kinda popular"), like 2018-2021, things will never be how they were then. The community, trends, and how we interacted with each other was so much different, I don't think it will ever go back to how it was then. I am kind of happy about that. Although my relationship with that time on Simblr is nostalgic (despite being too young and miserable to enjoy it), I think the community is in a healthier place now (mostly). I have had to adjust to a couple of things since coming back. One is that the content looks different now.

In my "prime" people were just getting into editing (that was a time before ReShade). Heavy editing and experimental editing were really celebrated, partly because everyone was learning and learning from each other. We just wanted to see what was possible. Now, maybe partly in reaction to that trend and how demanding it was, people have found an appreciation for the base game, simple screenshots with really only ReShade/gshade, CAS screenshots, etc. Not to say the former doesn't exist anymore because it absolutely does and people have become truly incredible at it. In some regard, it is an acquired taste especially if that's all you do. I've thought to myself many times should I stop editing the way I do, does that impact the way people take in my content? Do I have editing blindness? lol I like how I edit, I enjoy the process and, even if I do have editing blindness, I like how it looks. Even being an alpha creator, they are fewer and fewer as people opt for MM and MMix. I've thought, do people really not like alpha content anymore? Even my story at times felt like it didn't fit into the current story ethos. I thought about stopping it. I bring that all up to say, when you're coming back to a very different Simblr it can feel like what you used to make doesn't "fit in". And it might not. I don't think that should be the goal. The community now is so much more diverse, content-wise, that anything you want to make is possible. If you sacrifice your artistic vision, you'll end up leaving again. You have to make what speaks to you, regardless of the other noise.

Two, you have to find your reason for making your art. For a moment, I really lost touch with what I was even doing here. I took some time to figure it out. I first started because I wanted to tell a story that talked about intimacy through the lens of a sex worker and someone who had no romantic or sexual experience. I wanted to do this without over-sexualizing my sex worker character and infantilizing my other character. I wanted to write some of the dialogue I was having internally. Way back when that was all I wanted to do, I didn't struggle with being seen as much because I was posting with a purpose. That purpose wasn't likes or reblogs, but to tell a story and have a conversation. Everything else came after. Anyone coming back (or looking for a reason to stay) has to find, within themselves, why they want to be here and what they want to get out of it. I promise you if you reconnect with that, posting will be easier regardless of the outcome.

I know I took a lot for granted way back when. Asks about me or my characters, comments, tags, and even people wanting to join me in a Discord server or stream. Sounds like we both, a one point, wish we could go back. That just means it's something to appreciate more now. You can be and make really whatever you want, which wasn't always possible. Maybe think of coming back as a small rebirth and trust that if you keep at it, you will find your people. I am still in the process of finding mine but I trust they are out there. If you're passionate people will feel it. Best of luck and I hope something in this novel helps you! ♡