#PHEWWW THAT TOOK FOREVER

[pupyuj]

→ “your colorful secrets.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.

— weeks after the event which you call "the weirdest thing that's ever happened all year", wonyoung approaches you about your 'strange' behavior towards her in the most 'wonyoung' way possible...

word count: 10.6k

dynamic: dom!mean girl!jang wonyoung x sub!nerd!reader.

content warnings: smut, fingering, clit play, nipple play, masturbation (for like, a minute lmao), overstimulation, mommy kink, degradation.

requested? : kind of!

a/n: well, we finally made it ya'll! 😭😭💞 i feel like i'm gonna say this about every fic i write here from now on but PHEWWW THIS QUITE LITERALLY TOOK FOREVER?? but i was more than happy to flesh this little universe out more and revisit our favorite mean girl and her awkward nerd <33 just like you guys, "magic words" is one of my favorite things that i have written so even though this kinda took me wayyy too long to finish, I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I STILL DID IT UEUEUE MEAN GIRL WONY MY BELOVED 🥺💓 anyhow, i really, really hope you guys enjoy this and here's to more mean girl wonys in the future hehehe

p.s. i hope ya'll don't get bored too easily bcs wow there's a shit ton of talking in the first half of this fic—

previous: magic words.

jang wonyoung was late. 

to class.

which wasn’t exactly all that surprising considering she thinks she can do whatever she wants. but she was never late to class. you would know—you were always waiting until she entered the room. it was like you were never calm until she appeared, but that was because you have had the biggest, lamest crush on her all year. even the professor took a pause when he called wonyoung’s name for attendance and nobody was there to respond with “i’m here, professor~” and a cheeky smile. you stared at the empty seat in the middle of the classroom, wonyoung’s seat, and wondered what could’ve been in her way for her to— 

“just hold on for mommy, ‘kay?”

you dropped your pen, covering your red face with your hands. your seatmate gave you a brief look before going back to reading her notes. did you really have to think about that first thing in the morning? well, it wasn’t as if it was all you have been thinking about for the past two weeks: wonyoung’s lips on yours, her hands all over you, her sweet voice soothing you, and her eyes looking at you like you were her last meal… you still couldn’t believe that entire thing even happened!

ever since then, things have been really weird. a lot of people looked at you more when before wonyoung fucked you, you were usually ignored which you liked. and you knew everybody whispered about you and wonyoung too. neither of you were being discreet in that room in the library that day so you heard all sorts of things from your fellow students the day after. usually about how they didn’t think you were that kind of girl, or how they never thought wonyoung would ever consider fucking ‘someone like you’. see, other people would be mad if they heard some strangers say all those things about them but actually, you agreed with them.

everything about that day went against a lot of things that you thought about yourself. well, you weren’t planning on staying a virgin forever but you really didn’t expect for it to be taken by jang wonyoung of all people!

“come on, baby. give me a show.”

you squeezed your thighs together, your heart hammering inside your chest. god, it almost felt like wonyoung was right up against your ear—talking to you and berating you for thinking about her 24/7 after she fucked you. you felt your core clench upon remembering how warm wonyoung’s hands were, how her fingers felt ramming inside you… god, you wanted it all again. but there was no way she would agree to that, right? knowing wonyoung and the kind of girl that she was, that would be the only time she would fuck you, right?

a pink jacket catches your attention, making you look up from your thighs. jang wonyoung has finally arrived. she was talking to the professor as she sat in her seat, all smiles and giggles as usual. she throws a brief glance over her shoulder, sharp eyes meeting yours. you didn’t miss the way the corner of her mouth lifted up, smirking at you as she eyed you down. you didn’t even know how the fuck she was able to do that within a millisecond of looking at you, but she did it anyway and it only made you squirm in your seat.

oh, how pathetic you were. you’ve been feeling all sorts of things after wonyoung fucked you, but you never knew what to do about them. for now, you just wanted to get through another day of being in wonyoung’s presence despite everything that’s happened. she hasn’t spoken much to you since that day and you doubted that anything was going to change—she’s jang wonyoung after all. you were probably just another hook-up to her, something she’s bound to forget about in a week or so.

(see, that was just all kinds of wrong because right at this moment, all the nosy people who were staring at wonyoung can clearly see how she spared your pitiful figure by the window little glances every other minute with a sly smile on her face. she didn’t make an effort to be discreet. she never does. when jang wonyoung likes something, she is going to let people know—she has to! or else they’ll all just think you’re up for grabs.

no. wonyoung was going to show them only she can really pull all the nice girls in this school. especially you—(y/n) (l/n), the campus’ adorably awkward bookworm who’s very endearingly clumsy despite her well-put appearance. god, how wonyoung had become obsessed with you and you had absolutely no idea.

but it was more than just your character too. for a while now, actually ever since she fucked you, something about you has been bothering her mind. it’s made her unable to stop thinking about you and truthfully, it fucking pissed her off so much that she had to brainstorm a plan, a solution, for it. which became the reason why she was late today. will wonyoung actually execute it? who knows! for now, she can stare at you scribbling on your notes and laugh to herself because she knew, oh she so knew, that every time you paused, shut your eyes, and shook your head—you were thinking about her.)

thankfully, the class ended after another hour and a half. halfway through it all, you got bored and opted to stare out the window. so much so that you didn’t realize class was over until the familiar scent of money and local fame wafted into your nose—wonyoung had walked past you, and she winked at you. you found yourself freezing up in your seat, so fucking pathetic. nobody seemed to notice what wonyoung had just done which was fortunate for you! with bright red cheeks and ears, you packed up our belongings in record time and swiftly power-walked your way out of the classroom.

the attention that was put on you as you walked along the hallways of the building was annoying, for the lack of a better word. it seems like everybody was looking at you as if this was the very first instance of a loser somehow ‘getting’ the popular girl to sleep with her. sometimes, you wish it never happened. as good as it felt, the aftermath was almost not worth it. you’ve heard cruel things being said about you after that day and to save your enrollment, you kept yourself quiet and pretended like you were unaware. except that you weren’t, so every time you make eye contact with someone and they start whispering to their friend or something, it only adds up to that pool of anger that was slowly building up from the pit of your stomach.

still, you couldn’t bring yourself to blame wonyoung for it all. you were part of the act as much as she was but you also can’t say that you brought all this attention and rumors to yourself. you blamed the other girl’s stupid reputation, actually. but it’s not like you can rewind time and make yourself leave that goddamn room when you thought wonyoung was never going to come. there was no point in dwelling on it now. it happened and you have to live with the consequences. being talked about isn’t half as bad as the threat of your scholarship getting revoked anyway.

you were right on the other side of the building when you realized you had no idea where you wanted to go. you just wanted to get out of that classroom, away from wonyoung’s sights so she can’t have you acting up in front of everybody. not that you would actually be able to make stable eye contact with her anyway. naturally, you found yourself marching towards the washroom. you were nearing to the door when you heard a few girls chattering lively.

you entered the washroom and there stood in front of the mirror were kim jiwon and shim jayoon—your acquaintances and wonyoung’s super smart best friends from one of the science programs. they were the last people you wanted to see face-to-face and for good reason! as soon as they saw you, they squealed and grabbed your arm, yanking you to stand in front of the mirror with them. “there’s the woman of the hour!” jiwon teased, lightly pinching your cheek.

“more like woman of the week—literally nobody is shutting up about you! this must feel like heaven.” jayoon nudges your arm, firmly believing that you liked all of the attention you were getting when you really didn’t. you would do anything to be invisible again.

“is this really what it feels like to be popular? i hate it,” you grumbled, earning a sigh from jayoon. “i don’t know how you guys ever manage.”

“you have an outdated opinion about all of this, baby girl! don’t you like having everyone’s eyes on you? now they’ll see how much of a pretty little thing you are—it’s great!” jiwon said. no, she was not very successful in convincing you that this wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened in your academic life so far. but you decided that you wouldn’t fight her on it and instead, stand idly between the two girls while they gossiped and twirled and played with your hair.

you were completely signed off from the conversation; the only thing in your mind was the feeling of wonyoung’s hands in your hair while she kissed you. unconsciously, you touched your lips with your fingers. fuck.

“oh, you’ve got it bad, huh?” jiwon teases.

“hey, don’t blame (y/n)! wonyoung’s a good kisser—i’d miss her lips too,” jayoon sighs dreamily. then she gasps and grips your forearm tightly. “do you want to fuck her again?” she asked with shiny eyes.

“w-what?!”

“where’d you get your information from, jayoon? wonyoung fucked her.”

“oh, right!”

you covered your face with your hands, “please stop talking.”

jayoon forcefully pries your hand off your face, “listen, gaeul-sunbae is having a party next week and we’ll be there with wonyoung! you should come! we’ll make sure to get you guys a room.” jayoon says with a wink. god, they’d let the two of you fuck in a house full of your schoolmates?! that would just add onto your world of troubles.

“i’m not going to any party and i’m never sleeping with wonyoung again, okay? i just—i want this all to end. i hate it when i’m looked at.” you gently wiggled yourself out of the two girls’ hold and once again marched towards the door.

“you shouldn’t have fucked her then.” jayoon says with a shrug as you reach for the handle, making you pause.

“she fucked me.” you corrected your friend before swinging the door open and exiting the washroom.

“yeah jayoon get your facts straight!” you heard jiwon laugh as you bolted out of the washroom. you rolled your eyes, shaking your head, and glaring at the first person you saw in the hallway. the person in question raised an eyebrow before turning to talk with his friend, eyes lingering on your leaving figure.

gosh, this school was a nightmare.

nevertheless, you survive the long walk back to your classroom without sparing another person a glance. did you bump into people because you absolutely refused to look up? yes! did you care? not at all. it was much, much better than dealing with the scrutiny in everyone’s eyes. apparently, sex was only a problem when the girl who wanted nothing to do with it actually did it. every time you remembered how everyone in the library looked at you after you and wonyoung left that private room, you wanted to scream. literally. all of the negative things that came after the event made you forget about the sweet stuff. like the way wonyoung insisted on driving you home, how she walked you to a bus stop when you refused to ride with her, how she patiently and wordlessly waited for your bus with you, and how she gave you a kiss on the cheek when your bus did arrive.

but what good was having wonyoung’s attention if everybody was also going to look at you, but in a worse light?

you knew it probably wasn’t fair, but you grew a tiny bit of resentment towards the popular girl.

you entered your classroom after a deep breath—eyes glued to the ground and hands hidden under the straps of your backpack. it felt like you were back in high school all over again. this sucked so bad. but unfortunately, getting to your seat was only a bumpy road! all you had to do was not look up and start reading material once you’ve sat down. it should be so easy. of course, fate had other ideas.

wonyoung had bumped into you while walking towards her own seat, forcing you to tear your gaze from the ground to look at her. oh, she was so pretty—no, (y/n)! “sorry.” wonyoung says with a cheeky smile. (she was excited that she finally got you to look at her. and as expected…) you blushed, merely looking away from the other girl before rushing to your seat. you heard a few giggles behind you which only confirmed your suspicions—it was definitely planned. it didn’t help that your cheeks and ears were flushed red… gosh, even your neck felt warm. you know what also didn’t help? how wonyoung’s intense gaze didn’t leave your figure for a while. you could feel her staring at you like you were some piece of meat for her to devour and you weren’t even exaggerating by saying all that!

it was the same kind of look she was giving you right before she kissed you that day. despite your resistance, you met wonyoung’s stare. you noticed that she was surprised to see you raise your head, but it looked like it pleased her more than anything. wonyoung tilts her head and smiles slyly at you while her eyes travel from your hands, your exposed thighs, to your legs… now who knew jang wonyoung could be such a pervert? you squeezed your thighs together, glaring slightly at wonyoung who merely giggled before finally turning around and facing the front.

things like that—wonyoung’s attention, her interest, her affection—were the only good to come out from that hook-up. the rest? the side-eyes, the rumors, the whispers, the unwanted popularity spike? you wanted nothing to do with it. but, again, it wasn’t like you could reverse time.

so, you were going to do what you’ve always been good at: hide yourself to the point of invisibility. it’s never failed you before, and it shouldn’t now.

the only challenge was jang wonyoung herself—will she let you out of her sight?

you didn’t want to think about the most obvious answer. instead, you tried your damned hardest to not think about her at all for the rest of the day. you poured all of your attention to the lectures, the coursework, and the notes. basically anything just to avoid hearing her voice in your head again. at least it wasn’t as bad as the first few days after she fucked you. during those times, you quite literally replayed the entire thing in your head every minute. it wasn’t surprising that you ended up failing a few small quizzes around that time.

when you’ve put every belonging you had in your backpack, you practically rushed to get up from your seat and headed to the door. avoiding every eye that latched onto your figure. you successfully passed wonyoung’s seat without trouble until…

“ah, (y/n)! finally, i can talk to you.”

ms. lim, the professor for your last class of the day, calls you. you turned around with a tight-lipped smile on your face, reluctantly walking closer to the teacher’s desk while most of your classmates walked out of the door. wonyoung was still in the room. she was staring. fuck, why is she always staring?!

“i wanted to thank you for all the help you gave last week for jiyoung’s little… ‘art for amateurs’ club.” ms. lim sighed at the name (she has always hated it but ms. kim jiyoung, her fiancé, loved it too much to change it) and smiled up at you.

“no need for thanks, ma’am. i was passing by the art room that day and i just thought i’d help.” you hear a few people shuffle behind you. more students walking out. a flash of pink walks by behind you. wonyoung. you blinked and smiled at the professor, acting as normal as you could.

“if you don’t mind, i need you to do another favor for me,” ms. lim opens up one of her drawers and carefully takes out a lunch bag from it. the professor smiles sheepishly at you. “i hate to ask my students to do little chores like this. but i’m going to be preoccupied with grading and lesson plans for the rest of the day and that idiot jiyoung forgot to grab her food from me.”

you chuckled lightly, “hard to imagine ms. kim of all people would forget about her food. i’ll take it to her, no worries.” you carefully held the lunch bag in your hands and smiled at your professor.

“thank you, (y/n). she’s been all over the place lately! worrying about this one special pupil of hers that she’s practically begging to put up a piece of her work in the walls of the art building. it’s a whole thing, i won’t bore you about it. run along.” ms. lim waves you off with a laugh. you bowed to the professor before happily exiting the classroom with ms. kim’s lunch bag in hand. when you left the room, you saw that the hallways were still quite full with students lounging about—looks like it wasn’t going to be an easy walk to the fine arts building but oh well.

the first hurdle was squeezing through a crowd of jocks from different teams creating a ruckus in the middle of the hallway. the second struggle was nearly getting picked on by said jocks when they just so happened to notice you sneaking by. thankfully, a nice cheerleader with red hair diverted their attention so you could slip away. it was a quiet and pleasant walk along the school courtyard towards the fine arts building from there, with only the wind and soft rustling of leaves accompanying you.

the building was quiet, save for your own footsteps. usually, the hallways would be filled with sounds of casual chatter and the muffled voices of instructors and students alike. you had to say though, you much rather preferred the silence. it was comforting. you were usually surrounded with a lot of yelling, hollering, and laughing which sometimes wasn’t all that bad but considering everything that’s been happening the fast few days… yeah, this was preferable.

it didn’t take long for you to reach ms. kim’s classroom, and there you were met with a vast empty room littered with half-finished paintings and beautiful illustrations created by the students and ms. kim herself. there was a backpack and a big canvas set near the back of the classroom but you pay it no mind. it was common for students to stay after school hours just to kill time or work on their projects. you put down the lunch bag on ms. kim’s desk, all the more ready to turn around and leave when a particular painting caught your eye.

it wasn’t anything special by any means. in fact, it was buried behind more colorful paintings and you could only see half of it. you approached the painting, looking around the other canvases just to see it in full. it didn’t look finished, but then again maybe that was part of the appeal. the painting was that of an arrangement of beautiful flowers in a jar, they were wilting. or maybe they were just coming to life, looking at the soft streams of sunlight that shone down on them.

regardless, you didn’t have the luxury to analyze the painting any further when you heard shuffling behind you. alarmed, you turned your head quickly and… well, fuck.

“wonyoung…”

the tall girl clad in pinks and blues smiles at you. it wasn’t a very comforting smile.

“the one and only,” well, that sounded familiar. you watched as wonyoung threads the ends of her hair using her dainty little fingers. a smirk dances on her lips while she stares you down, very much liking how she has rendered you speechless with her mere presence. a bit of a dramatic statement but it was true! “how’d you like my work?” wonyoung asked, eyes quickly flickering over to the flower painting behind you.

you followed her stare, but quickly looked back at her in shock. “you painted that?” you gasped.

“you make me sound like i’m just a stupid bimbo,” wonyoung sighs dramatically. “of course, i painted it. would anyone else’s work look as gorgeous?” ‘charming’ as ever, wonyoung flips her hair over her shoulder with a smug look on her pretty face. you turned away, very quickly rolling your eyes before settling them back on the painting. you were impressed. you wouldn’t have guessed that wonyoung of all people would have that kind of talent, but then again, she is one of the class-toppers and nobody knows who she is exactly.

“it’s beautiful.” you admitted. you heard wonyoung chuckle, but she doesn’t say much else. you don’t look back at her, choosing to stare at her painting instead. again, something stopped you from looking further into it. wonyoung stood beside you, briefly looking at her painting with a somber look on her face before quickly covering it up with her usual cheeky, queen bitch smile. it was dead silent. did you even want to speak to her? for two weeks, you’ve resented all the attention that was given to you because of her. you’ve glared at the back of her head, cursed her in your mind whenever some students whispered about you… but somehow, you’re the one who’s tongue-tied now that you were actually alone with her.

it was confusing—feelings, that is. hell, the last real face-to-face interaction you’ve had with her was on that day. when she kissed your cheek before you got on your bus.

“wasn’t expecting you to be here, (y/n),” wonyoung unzips her pink jacket, slowly taking it off before putting it on an empty seat. you watched her from the corner of your eye, she was taking deep breaths and you could hear her. then she fixes her hair and turns around wearing a glowing smile. “but this is just perfect.” she steps towards you and instinctively, you jolted backwards.

“i-i just dropped something off for ms. kim… from ms. lim, i mean. i should get going.” well, it wasn’t going to be easy! what with wonyoung being inside your personal bubble and your heart beating so fast that you can’t quite hear your own thoughts. it didn’t help that she towered over you, and again, her perfume was a fucking weapon—rendering you immobile.

“don’t be like that, (y/n). i’m upset with you.” wonyoung says with a pout. cute, but you really shouldn’t let your stupid crush on her stop you from just getting the hell away! wonyoung was fascinated with the way your eyes wandered. she knew that no matter how angry you were with her, she was always going to have the same effect on you. and it was delicious. being able to have that much of an impact on someone. 

“you never called or texted me. i was waiting, especially after i sent you home,” wonyoung stands even closer and for a second, you actually saw some kind of emotion in her eyes. dissatisfaction, perhaps. “didn’t know you were like that, (y/n).”

“i d-didn’t even think you’d want me to contact you after… after all of that.”

“i wouldn’t have given you my number if i didn’t want you begging for more of me over the phone, dumbass.” wonyoung bumps your shoulder with her own as she walks past you. the way you looked (confused and… so fucking stupid) must’ve made her pissed, judging by the way she started dragging her equipment around with her eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring at you every now and then. you stood there awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of your uniform. you should really leave. you had things to do at home! this wasn’t a time to waste with someone who was mad at you and someone you were mad with.

all it takes was a period of silence to remind of how much wonyoung affected your life. and suddenly all the anger was back. the longer you stood there and looked at her, the more it boiled up and threatened to tip over. but you were going to be mature. you were going to leave the classroom and go on with your life, leaving it all (wonyoung) behind.

“i have a few ideas on how you can make it up to me though.” wonyoung averts her gaze from the empty canvas in front of her to you.

given the way she was looking at you—or rather, has been looking at you, wonyoung was up to no good. and if you wanted any chance to redeem the little reputation you had in this academy, you had to be strong and not get swayed by her and her pretty little face and those soft lips and that mesmerizing pair of eyes. you shook your head, “i am not fucking with you again, wonyoung.”

the taller girl laughed, “what? did it look like i was going to make you do that? gee, (y/n), it takes one hook-up to corrupt you, huh?” wonyoung laughs, a smirk making its way to her face when she sees you glaring daggers at her. “you’re going to be my muse.” she says, crossing her arms and scanning you up and down. gosh, she didn’t even bother to hide the lust behind her stare… but you could tell that her statement wasn’t a joke.

“you’re… going to paint me?” you asked. wonyoung hums, staring right at you as she pulled her hair up to a ponytail, quietly anticipating your answer while you stood idly by the windows.

“only reason i’m here is because ms. kim has been begging for me to put something of my own up in the hallways. usually i would just refuse but the lady’s been nice to me since i stepped a foot in this school so why not? plus, what’s a better subject than my latest and possibly most popular fling?” wonyoung gives you a very sarcastic smile that makes you roll your eyes. you seriously needed to get out of here.

you were more than ready to leave until you remembered the way wonyoung’s eyes looked when she confronted you about the silence you gave her. then a pang of guilt hits you the more you think about her actions after the two of you hooked up. the walking together, the waiting together, and the kiss on the cheek. maybe attempting to cut her off was a dick move on your part…

“okay.”

wonyoung’s face visibly lights up. adorable.

“where do you want me?” you asked, blushing at the sight of the cute look on her face. all of your activities can wait. you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself knowing that you were potentially hurting someone. albeit unintentionally and the person in question being your best slash worst nightmare.

“just sit in front of me and we’ll figure it out from there.” and so, you and wonyoung get to work. well, of course it was mostly her doing the work while you just sat on a stool and listened carefully to whatever she told you. 

oddly enough, the weight of her stare wasn’t as intimidating or nerve-wracking like it usually was. wonyoung had a certain softness in her eyes as she studied your features closely, and every time you figured that she saw something she liked, something would sparkle behind those beautiful brown eyes. watching wonyoung in what seems to be her natural environment… well, ‘unexpected’ would be the understatement of the year. you figured it would be parties and social clubs and outlet malls but then again, nobody really knew wonyoung.

getting so much as a glimpse of the untouchable popular girl was truly something. and despite everything that’s happened you find yourself feeling the way you did the first time you laid eyes on her on campus during freshman year. awestruck, with your heart nearly beating out of your chest as you desperately tried to look at something that isn’t her but ultimately failing. wonyoung gives you a smile, and it wasn’t her usual cheeky-teasing one. she looked… bashful? and is that a hint of pink on her cheeks?

it was strange to see, but you ended up smiling a little at the sight of a rare cute wonyoung. the tall girl’s cheeks show a deeper shade of pink as soon as your lips curled up in a smile, making you giggle a little. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you after that as wonyoung completely immerses herself in her work. and during that entire time you just stared at her, admiring her focused state. you wondered if she was concerned at all about making a mistake—her hand moved skillfully across the canvas with the attitude of someone that was sure about their abilities. you would hear an occasional tut partnered with a quick hum and followed by a quiet, satisfied laugh, giving you the impression that wonyoung was confident about the picture she was painting of you.

you’ve never been more curious in your life. you wanted to know how wonyoung sees you. it would be from an artist’s perspective but maybe you’ll see even a spot of how wonyoung truly sees you deep inside. especially after everything that has gone down between the two of you, and especially after her reaction to you forcing yourself to forget her existence for two weeks. it’s not like you were looking for any chance of the popular girl returning your feelings, you just wanted to know if you were anything to her at all. maybe you’ll get to know it here.

“(y/n),” wonyoung snaps you back into reality. she beckons you over with a proud look on her face. “come over here. see if you like it.”

soon enough, you were standing beside wonyoung, staring at the most impressive painting in the room. it was you; sitting on that stool wearing a gentle smile, but almost half of your entire form was covered by a slightly see-through curtain and the tiniest streams of sunlight. at first glance, the painting looks incomplete or rather, abruptly finished but it looks perfect in your eyes. and on wonyoung’s eyes too, judging by the way she looked at her own work with approval.

“it’s beautiful, wonyoung.” you said with a grateful smile.

“mhm. it’s y—” wonyoung pauses, and clears her throat. “obviously.” she said, chuckling awkwardly and flipping her hair over her shoulder with less flair than usual. you did not know what the hell that was all about. (“it’s you.” wonyoung wanted to say. but she bit her tongue real quick. why? well, jang wonyoung was not one to try to woo a nerd of all things like that! but really though—it’s you. of course it’s beautiful.)

you were admiring the painting some more and the longer you did, the more you noticed just how many details wonyoung put into it. from the slight crinkle of your eyes while you’re smiling down to that tiny little scar you had on your right cheek. amazing.

“w-wait, you’re going to put this up in this building?” you asked, now blushing wildly. it’s not even that you were embarrassed of having your face put up in the fine hallways of this campus (there have been many instances of your face being plastered everywhere because of your very impressive achievements as an honor student). it’s the fact that wonyoung was involved in all of this that makes it all complicated.

“no.”

surprised, you looked at wonyoung with slightly widened eyes. she worked hard for this painting for the sole reason of putting it up, and now she won’t? maybe she sensed your discomfort at the thought of putting up a painting of you made by wonyoung, which you know would just repeat the never-ending nightmare of being surrounded by rumors all over again. you would ask the tall girl to give you a reason why, but you noticed that she was standing closer to you now, eyes darkened and very much drawing you in.

just like last time.

“for my eyes only.” wonyoung says quietly. she was referring to the painting, sure, but she was looking at you the entire time. the implication makes your face heat up, and suddenly you’re finding it hard to do anything else except to just stand there. obnoxiously close to wonyoung with your eyes constantly flickering up and down from her eyes to her lips. you remember what those lips taste like, how they feel moving against yours. what you would give to feel and taste them all over again.

“i need a break,” wonyoung’s gaze pierces through your own, inviting you in. “don’t you?”

and all it took was the slightest nod of your head for wonyoung to lock your lips in a searing kiss with her own.

god, it felt like your chest collapsed within itself. your hands immediately cup wonyoung’s cheeks, and having learned a few things from the last time you kissed her, you were much, much better at keeping up with her despite your heartbeat running a mile a minute. wonyoung’s own hands were on your hips, pulling you closer until she started undoing the ribbon on your uniform. then, she unbuttoned your shirt, forcing herself out of the kiss and putting her lips on your neck as she did so. it was hard trying to keep yourself quiet with the way wonyoung nibbled and softly sucked on your skin… which was why you just stopped trying.

“ahh… mhm, wonyoung…” your moans were met with a hum from the taller girl, whose kisses now reached your chest.

“you missed me, didn’t you?” wonyoung whispers against your skin, leaving a mark just below your collarbone where she likes it best. she tilts her head up, lips hovering over your own, only touching slightly. “you missed mommy?”

fuck, that was gonna do you in.

too embarrassed to truly admit it all, you nodded, which earned you a pout mixed with a glare from wonyoung. “i’m gonna let that go once. you’re lucky i missed you more.” eventually, you found your waist pressed against a lone desk while wonyoung continues to kiss you. you were topless now, what with wonyoung discarding your white shirt somewhere on the floor.

“w-what if ms. kim comes in…?” you asked when you felt wonyoung’s hand sliding up your thigh. surely she won’t be as careless as last time, right? the two of you were barely hiding! the curtains didn’t leave much to the imagination and the door was only halfway closed… if you weren’t careful with your mouth, some unlucky soul passing by will catch the two of you and you really don’t know if you can handle more of that. maybe you were naive to expect wonyoung to change within two weeks, because right after you asked your stupid little question, wonyoung had pulled down your panties and unclasped your bra from behind. goodness, she works fast.

the tall girl decided not to waste time and completely disregarded your question. “up.” she taps your hip, urging you to sit on top of the desk behind you. as you were getting yourself settled, wonyoung takes the opportunity to stare at you. you were as cute as ever—flushed cheeks, messy hair, lips quivering, and pretty eyes glossy with anticipation, even though you tried to disguise it with uncertainty. wonyoung couldn’t believe how easy it has been to knock down your defenses. she was so sure that even she, the jang wonyoung, was going to get rejected and embarrassed for the very first time in that library, given your reputation as a hardass.

but alas, she always gets what she wants in the end. as she should!

you pull wonyoung closer, eager to feel her lips on yours again. then she allows you to kiss her, doing the same exact thing as last time—staying still and letting you do what you want. wonyoung noticed that your kiss was softer, more careful. you were holding her face so gently, caressing her cheek with your thumb before letting your hands fall to her shoulders, giving the control back to her. it warmed her heart in a way that took her by surprise, but that was nothing compared to the pure amusement she felt when she caught you untying her ribbon.

“you’re brave today, hm?” wonyoung whispered with a smirk. she doesn’t stop you, though! she holds your stare as you let her ribbon drop to the ground, and then you start unbuttoning her shirt so excruciatingly slow. you stopped halfway through, only getting to see a little bit of wonyoung’s crimson red bra before putting your lips on her neck. and finally, for the first time, you heard her whimper.

you couldn’t see it as you were busy kissing her neck, but wonyoung was a blushing mess. she never whimpers! but with your sudden courage and the way you left the softest and sweetest kisses on her neck, wonyoung couldn’t hide it. “are you… marking me up?” wonyoung asked with a giggle.

immediately, you stopped, staring at her with half-widened eyes. “is that okay…?”

wonyoung would’ve called you stupid if the sound of her own loud heartbeat didn’t render her speechless. “don’t tell me you’re going to ask for permission if you so much as want to put your hand on my waist or something.” wonyoung said. she can imagine it clearly in her head, actually! you were too polite for your own good.

“well, consent is important—”

“yeah, yeah. how about you use that pretty mouth of yours for something worth my time, dummy?” wonyoung urges you to kiss her again, craning her neck to give you access. and you did it happily! you were so obviously excited that even wonyoung thought it was endearing, laughing lightly as you gently sucked on her soft skin. you did that for a while. how could you stop, anyway? the mix of wonyoung’s sighs, feeling her thin, dainty fingers smoothly threading your hair, and her other hand laying still on your thigh, squeezing ever so often when you do something she likes… well, suffice to say that it was almost impossible to stop.

leaning back, you stare at your work. the sight of your marks on wonyoung’s neck only made your core buzz, making you not-so-subtly close your legs. wonyoung regains her composure, eyes darkened once again before she forces her legs open, one hand slowly sliding deeper up your inner thighs while the other keeps your legs apart. “since you’ve had your fun… naturally, it’s my turn now, correct?” and of course you were nodding your head eagerly like an obedient pet, just how she likes it.

your breath gets caught in your throat when wonyoung cups one of your breasts in her hand, her face dangerously close to the other one, more than ready to pleasure you. “i was thinking of being nice since i missed you… but you made me upset with your stupid tantrum over the last time we fucked,” wonyoung feigns a smile and a shiver runs down your spine. “so, to truly make it up to me… you’re going to take  everything i’m giving to you today.”

scary. terrifying even, but how could you say no? the (y/n) of two hours ago would be really disappointed of you but fuck it. wonyoung’s got you wrapped around her finger once again and you’re going to let it happen again.

only moans escape your lips as wonyoung’s warm mouth closes around your nipple. a new sensation, and it was wonderful. you found yourself hugging wonyoung’s neck, pushing her face impossibly closer while she licked and sucked as she pleases. your cunt clenches around nothing, and you buck your hips slightly just to urge wonyoung to touch you down there even a little bit but you should’ve expected that she wouldn’t care about that. her hands were rather busy! one played with your other nipple while the other held your thigh in a grip so tight that it almost hurt.

wonyoung releases your nipple from her mouth, her lips now attacking your chest area with little bites. you weren’t opposed to it. in fact, the frustrated look on wonyoung’s face was a delight to see! “should’ve known you were going to be a pussy about it all… wouldn’t have waited up all night for your text if i did.” wonyoung tightens her grip on your thigh, making you wince. but the pain was quickly overshadowed by pleasure as the tall girl pulled on your nipple.

“how was i supposed to accept that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore…? you were screaming my name so sweetly in the library… and i was in your head after all of that, right?” wonyoung briefly lets go of your thigh to pull your hair down, forcing you to meet her eyes. “i know you did… in the end, the campus’ smart goody-two-shoes is just a fucking slut in the making, isn’t she?”

wonyoung’s eyes shine with excitement upon seeing you look at her so desperately. she knew that you’d never take any insult if you were in your right mind… and it only turned her on when you said nothing to her, your head so clouded that you’d allow wonyoung to say anything she wants to you. the tall girl spreads your legs apart, staring at your glistening pussy before her hungry eyes pierce back into your own. “and to think that you wanted to leave when you’re all drenched like this! what would you have done if i let you go? surely not touch yourself,” wonyoung laughs, but it was a cold and mocking one. your cheeks flush with embarrassment since she was right—you can’t bear to touch yourself, which is why you’re so desperate to have her fuck you already. “you need me, and i want a pretty doll i can play with however i like. let’s help each other out, (y/n)-ah.”

wonyoung doesn’t wait for you to say anything (of course she doesn’t) and starts massaging your clit with her thumb. you gasped at the sensation, holding onto her arms and almost closing your legs up. you try to control your sounds this time around, all that left your mouth were the usual pathetic whimpering and panting but at least you weren’t loud! wonyoung didn’t like that, though. she presses her thumb harder against your clit, making you whine loudly. “that’s more like it.” the tall girl muttered under her breath. the longer she pleasured your clit, the sooner you were losing control of yourself. and eventually you were just giving into what your body wants—grinding against wonyoung’s hand, pulling her closer so you can kiss her…

you gasped sharply as wonyoung plunged her two fingers inside your cunt, and she was giggling at how you were wrinkling her shirt up due to how tight you were holding onto her. fuck did it feel good to be filled up. when wonyoung curls her long fingers inside you, you clamped your hand over your mouth, afraid of alerting anyone who may be lurking around. annoyed, wonyoung swats your hand away, “come on, i don’t want to punish you so early.” none of what she was saying went through to your head. and it wasn’t even because you were trying to be a disobedient brat but because of her pace.

she snaps her wrist with each thrust, enough to make sure that you feel every inch of her fingers inside you before pulling out. it was hard to focus on anything, even more so when wonyoung’s pretty brown eyes were raking all over your body, getting familiar with your features once again. it wasn’t everyday something catches her eye so easily, but when she entered that secluded room in the library and had the luxury of staring at you while you were asleep, she was charmed. not even she thought that she would have you on top of this table merely two weeks later—writhing under her touch and moaning her name, but wonyoung quite liked this outcome.

why, after you were so good for her the first time she fucked you, you’ve been on her mind!

“a-ah..! wonyoung…” your sweet voice snaps the tall girl back to reality. you’ve completely wrapped your arms around her neck now, how precious. wonyoung puts her lips to work, wanting to taste your skin once again. and that she does! giving you kisses from your cheek, to your jawline, to the crook of your neck and all that the way down to your chest. conveniently, the desk was long enough for wonyoung to be able to pull you down so you’d be lying back comfortably. she towers above you, a grin on her lips as she watches you try to hold on to your climax.

it was so glaringly obvious that you were close. with the way your walls clenched around wonyoung’s fingers, a few more thrusts should do it. and that made wonyoung way more upset than you can imagine. there was no way you were going to make this so short, right? but she feels it. not only have you dug your nails on her free wrist trying to hold onto her, you’ve also started whining very loudly. wonyoung, annoyed, wriggles out of your painful hold and shoves her thumb inside your mouth, effectively shutting you up. drool starts dripping down along your jawline—wonyoung wasn’t going to let you off easy judging by how she pressed her thumb flat and hard down on your tongue.

“we’re gonna make this last, baby,” wonyoung says. she sees the tears pooling in your eyes and it only makes her feel warm inside. she was getting so excited to have her way with you, and a few tears wouldn’t stop her. “and everyone’s going to know again. i know you don’t like that but this time… they’ll know you’re mine.”

wonyoung didn’t plan on saying that last part out loud but thankfully enough, you were way too busy moaning her name to even hear it. a knot tightens in your stomach and you gasp, the sensation becoming all too familiar with you now. wonyoung pulls her thumb out of your mouth and slowly slides a third finger inside your cunt—and then there it was.

“aww…” wonyoung cooed as you came all over her hand. but she doesn’t stop any of her movements. instead, she leans down, catching one of your nipples with her mouth and continuing on fingering you through your orgasm.

“f-fuck..! wonyoung, w-wait…!!” you clawed helplessly at her back. amidst your hopeless whining and moaning, wonyoung just giggles. her eyes flicker up to get a brief glance of your face, her own core clenching at how tight you’ve closed your eyes, how you’ve bitten your lower lip to the point of it hurting. she absolutely loved getting to see you undone piece by piece… even more so when you allow it to happen. which is what you finally do as you bury your hands in wonyoung’s hair, pushing her further down your chest and whimpering sweetly at every flick of her tongue on your nipples.

wonyoung wasn’t letting her hand rest, however. she keeps fingering you in a semi-fast pace, hoping to edge you closer to another orgasm. clearly, she was taking advantage of your dazed state and in all honesty, of her own adrenaline-driven state. in her right mind, she would have let you cum the first time and stop there since she knew you can’t handle too much of what she can really give you but god… wonyoung just has to see you fall apart completely under her.

“someone learned a few things from last time, hm?” wonyoung teased as she gently massaged your clit in circles with her thumb. “you’re taking it so well. good.”

you gasped loudly as she plunges her fingers knuckle-deep inside your walls again, now thrusting faster than ever. wonyoung completely gets lost at the feeling of your warmth around her fingers. with her towering above you, she was distracting enough for your mind to wander elsewhere. every so often you’d notice the way she slightly bit her lower lip, whimper quietly, and huff as she fucked you… and as your eyes trail down lower (as low as you could, anyway), you saw that the tall girl had been clenching her thighs together. gods, wonyoung looked so hot being desperate like this.

it made you blush, how much she wanted to feel as good as she was making you feel good. next time, you are going to make sure to return the favor. it was what she deserves, as much of a pain in the ass she was.

“are you okay, (y/n)…?” wonyoung, concerned that you have spaced out, asked. her thrusts have slowed and her eyes are now softer.

you nodded meekly, “yes, mommy.” the nickname slipped out so naturally that it caught wonyoung off guard. and was she… blushing? flustered, even?

(wonyoung wouldn’t even know where to start if someone were to ask about the hold you have on her. it almost sucks that you don’t know about it, but wonyoung’s pride wouldn’t let her admit it outright. not yet, anyway.)

“we’re almost done.” wonyoung regains her composure. she completely pins one of your wrists down with her free hand, the other ramming inside your walls out of control, and her forehead nearly touching yours while you moaned helplessly. with your one hand, you clutched the edge of the desk, refusing to hurt wonyoung any further because you knew you would make her blood had you decided to hold onto her with the way she was abusing your pussy. wonyoung chuckles slightly at how smoothly her fingers went in and out of you—her hand was completely drenched in your cum and wetness. she was practically drooling at the thought of getting to taste you.

wonyoung would rather do it from the source, but she knew you wouldn’t be able to handle her mouth. not at this state. and not with all the things she wants to do to you with her tongue alone.

she feels you clenching around her again, and she watches as tears squeeze out of your eyes. she kisses them away, whispering some comforting words in your ear before she thrusts her fingers knuckle-deep inside you. wonyoung intertwines your fingers since she knew you’d need it as you came all over her hand once again. unlike last time, wonyoung makes sure her hand is still, only pulling out as you’ve started to calm down a little. your eyes wandered all over the ceiling, still trying to get a sense of things. you could feel wonyoung’s eyes on you though, but you couldn’t tell what she was doing.

so ‘surprised’ would be an understatement when you feel her clothed, wet cunt pressed against your knee. wonyoung smiles bashfully as she slightly grinds her clit on your knee. hell, she nearly fucked you into unconsciousness—she shouldn’t have anything to be afraid of doing now. even if she has to become this spectacle for you.

“j-just need to… do something about this.” wonyoung says. her voice was a bit higher from her whines, obviously feeling so good that she can’t help but show this new side of herself. underneath her, you were a bit rattled but completely flustered and quite confused as to what you should do. not that you could do anything, anyway. you couldn’t really feel your legs and your head was still getting itself situated. you were basically watching wonyoung grind herself into you… and it was heaven.

wonyoung meets your stare and grins, “liking the show, babe?” she teased. she giggled when you covered your face with your other hand, you were so red. but you were brazen enough to raise your knee slightly and pressed it against her clit, making her moan out loud for the first time. a smile of satisfaction spreads on your face—you finally heard wonyoung make that kind of sound!

“cheeky little doll.” wonyoung says before leaning down and kissing you. she stops her grinding, having had enough for now and slowly pulls you to sit up, carefully.

much like the last time this happened, nothing much was said afterwards. you were merely hugging wonyoung while you recovered, and you’d smile every time you felt her leave feathery-light kisses across your shoulder and draw random circles on your lower back. wonyoung allowed you to hold her for as long as you needed, never worrying about how the sky has turned orange or the supposed project she was assigned to start today for ms. kim. a gust of wind seeps through the slightly open windows and you shiver. 

finally, wonyoung pulled away. “let’s get you dressed up. ms. kim should be on her way anyway.” she helps you stand on both feet and picks up the random pieces of clothing scattered around the area, almost scolding herself for throwing them around haphazardly. wonyoung was the one who buttons up your shirt, makes sure your skirt is all nice and tidy, ties up your ribbon perfectly, and styles your hair as if it was never a mess. and then she decides that you would look cute with a bit of lip tint—but also because you needed a good excuse to give people if they so happen to ask you why your lips were so red and fucked up.

you stayed still as wonyoung dolled you up. it was strange though, because at this point, she has fucked you three times and you’ve bravely looked at her in the eye then but now you can’t. every time her eyes flicker over to yours, you blink and set them elsewhere. you can’t tell her about how your pussy clenches under her gaze. you can’t tell her that if she does something so simple as this, helping a fellow girl to look presentable, it turns you on. and it probably wasn’t even because nice-and-friendly wonyoung was a rarity! it was because of that damn crush. and how you can still feel her hands all over you but ugh, you’re so tired of coming to that conclusion. 

you get it: you are morbidly obsessed with how wonyoung makes you feel! god, can i be any more pathetic?

“you’ll text me this time, right?” wonyoung asks after she is done. she has also gotten herself look as perfect as she always does. 

“i can’t exactly escape you now, can i?”

“mhm! glad you’re aware of that.” wonyoung puts on an exaggerated smile, but really, she was excited. 

you then pulled out your phone and sent wonyoung a simple ‘hi’ text message. “there. happy?” you mimicked her fake smile.

“ecstatic, actually.” wonyoung replied with a straight face as she stared blankly at your useless message. she saves your number and suddenly snaps a quick photo of you without warning, setting it as her contact photo for you. when you tried to sneak a peek, wonyoung moved away from you with a laugh, and saved your name as ‘dum’ on her phone, even waving it all over your face and laughing even more at your disgruntled reaction. how mature… and endearing.

when silence started to fill the air, you almost wanted to ask wonyoung a few things about this whole… thing. whatever it was. as much as you liked the whole doll talk earlier, you didn’t exactly understand it. were the two of you going to be friends-with-benefits now? well, more like barely-acquaintances-with-benefits. was wonyoung going to make a habit of cornering you at some isolated place and fuck you? because really, you‘d prefer a small warning before she starts using you. confused as you were, you didn’t let a word slip. you just stood there, watching wonyoung as she put up an empty canvas on the easel.

“is it okay if i rest for a bit before leaving?” you asked in a quiet voice. wonyoung nods as she pulls her hair up for a half-ponytail, only briefly looking at your figure as you walk past her to sit on the instructor’s chair at the front of the classroom.

“i’d insist on taking you home but you seem to adore public transportation.” wonyoung quipped from behind her canvas.

“you’d only find some excuse to touch me again in your car so yes, maybe i prefer taking the bus rather than that.” you replied. attempting to avoid thinking about wonyoung’s hands all over you while you sat on the passenger seat of her car was futile, thank goodness she was focused on whatever project she was working on.

“thanks for the idea.” oh you just knew wonyoung had a stupid smile on her face thinking about it all. that pervert!

although you would be lying if you said you weren’t into the idea, but that was something the two of you should save for much, much later.

for the rest of your time there, you merely sat on ms. kim’s chair. sometimes you watched wonyoung even though you couldn’t see much of her face. occasionally, however, she would peek from above the canvas to check on you and you wouldn’t look away like you usually would. you would hold her gaze, smiling softly before gazing at the setting sun outside. the only thing that was on your mind was how everything has changed now. whether it was for the better or for worse, you couldn’t tell yet.

there was no use dwelling on it. you simply have to see where things go. one thing was for sure though: jang wonyoung wasn’t going to be out of your life so easily.

you pondered on that chair for a while before you finally decided to leave. you promised wonyoung that you would text her as soon as you got home, and you knew that even though she barely gave you a glance since she was so focused, she was happy that you promised that. while you headed for the door, you felt wonyoung’s eyes follow you until you were completely gone. but even as you walked through the empty hallways once again the hair on the back of your neck stood on end and you found yourself stopping in your tracks completely on top of a flight of stairs.

“that… really all just happened. again.” you mumbled. ugh, your ears felt hot. your cheeks too. matter of fact, your entire body was just warm.

“what happened?” a chipper voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin. ms. kim has suddenly appeared beside you. you hadn’t noticed that she was already there when you turned to the corner.

“o-oh! ms. kim, hello,” you greeted, hand clutching your chest. “ah, right. i dropped off your lunch bag. ms. lim said you forgot it earlier.”

“really? thank you, (y/n). she must be very busy if she couldn’t visit me herself. i’ll make sure to tell her that you did well delivering my food.” the art teacher pats your shoulder. her smile was striking and infectious—no wonder ms. lim always looked so lovesick around her!

“no need. it’s no problem at all,” you glanced at the giant clock on the other side of the wall and felt panic rise from the bottom of your stomach. “my bus should be making its way to the stop now. have a good day, ms. kim!” and so you were off to running as fast as you could to catch your ride, leaving the art teacher baffled but quite amused at the stairs.

“never seen (y/n) a bit loose in the head like that before.”

inside the art room, wonyoung has gotten busy. the tiniest specks of paint decorated her face, her hands had become quite the mess but what mattered was the picture she was creating. she was quite surprised with herself. only earlier did she feel that familiar rush of creating something with efficiency—when she was painting you. she was feeling it again, and it was great. it has been quite some time before she felt that rush. as rich her mind was with concepts, wonyoung found it hard to materialize them in a painting for some reason. maybe she was just lazy. maybe the pictures in her head just weren’t clear enough.

but somehow you of all people—of all things, really—made it all so very clear.

“ah, the things a good pussy does to the human mind.” wonyoung laughs at her own words. she couldn’t wait to bother you all night long later.

“i knew it!”

once again, ms. kim has surprised a student. fortunately enough, wonyoung didn’t make a mistake and only flinched slightly. “hello, ms. kim.” the tall girl greeted. she doesn’t take her eyes off her canvas since she knew that the teacher was already sauntering towards her with that contagious energy she always has.

“wow. i half expected you to be struggling for inspiration as usual but you actually got somewhere!” ms. kim pats wonyoung’s head, very much satisfied at wonyoung’s progress with her work. oddly enough, wonyoung found herself blushing deeply letting ms. kim look at a personal piece from her so freely. not that she gave a fuck about keeping up her reputation even with the teachers, but jang wonyoung was nothing if not so stubbornly prideful.

because no! she cannot bear being teased about painting (y/n) (l/n) for the second time in the same day!

“is that…”

wonyoung’s blush get deeper. here it comes.

“she did say she came by this room… i see!” ms. kim laughs and nudges wonyoung’s arm, teasing the girl as if she was some kid who was having a crush for the first time in her life. incorrect, by the way! because jang wonyoung doesn’t do crushes. 

the art teacher leans back and allows herself to fully take in her student’s work. it was a beautiful painting of you, surrounded by orange and yellow colors, looking lost in thought as you gazed out the window. your face was slightly obscured by the curtain, similar to the previous painting of you that she has done. perhaps a clue as to how wonyoung truly sees you.

“never thought you’d want a muse, wonyoung! but she’s not just that, is she?”

wonyoung settles her palette and paintbrush on an empty stool, exhaling and stretching her sore shoulders. now, she wasn’t the one getting fucked but damn, did you exhaust her too! it was in the good way at least, so wonyoung can’t really be mad at you. with you in her sick little head, wonyoung offers a mischievous smile to her teacher, “my cute little secret is what she is.”

[kazelvr]

₊˚ෆˎˊ˗ let the light in

synopsis. relationship headcannons with 3 of my fav csm characters (strictly fem reader for quanxi, gender neutral reader for the rest)

cw. suggestive in quanxi’s part, im just absolutely in love with her lol, mentions of vomit in denji’s part, implied modern au in aki’s part

note. my writing may be a bit different, because i’m trying something new.. i apologize 😭. i also made this half asleep.. time check 4:11 am

denji (デンジ)

to be real, denji has no clue about healthy relationships. that’s putting it mildly, right? the only ‘relationships’ he’s had were all about manipulation and brainwashing.

but hey, he really does put in the effort for you! denji’s going to do whatever it takes to make you happy, such as going bankrupt for the sake of a gift.

despite being in a relationship, denji still feels awkward around you. his shyness towards you was evident from the beginning, and now it has only intensified. please bear with him, he’ll come around eventually!

but when he does get comfortable.. denji forms a deep emotional connection with you. he’s faced many challenges, and all he’s ever wanted is to feel loved. you have become that source of comfort to him, and that means the world.

at first, his kisses can be awkward, unsure of where to put his hands, and he might even keep this eyes open. you might need to show him how to kiss properly, which can be even harder if he’s your first kiss.

he always craves cuddles, day in and out. he’s a true cuddlebug. he likes feeling the steady rhythm of your breath against his skin. whether if he’s the little spoon, or the big spoon, his sole desire is to sleep while being in physical contact with you. he finds it impossible to sleep without you.

on those days when you’re super busy and can’t cuddle with him, denji gets all pouty. it’s quite dramatic, really, how he gives you the side eye and ignores you when you try to talk about it. but, he can’t stay mad at you forever. eventually, he’ll give in and cling onto you like a koala. he’s not letting go, by the way.

he is keeping you away from power at all costs, even if you two are friends. if she ever found out that denji has a partner, she will not leave him alone. power will definitely embarrass denji in front of you, telling you about all of his flaws while he tries to stop her from saying anything else… he was never able to stop her.

on your birthday, aki attempted to assist denji in preparing a meal for you. unfortunately, it was a complete disaster and the food turned out to be unappetizing… despite aki’s desperate attempts to persuade denji not to serve you his charred creation, denji, being denji, stubbornly refused to listen. when you took a bite, the taste was so revolting that your stomach couldn’t bear it any longer. you regurgitated the ill fated meal… it’s the thought that counts, right?

overall, he’s trying really hard to be a good boyfriend, please appreciate him.

aki hayakawa (早川アキ)

this man…. phewww…

aki is the epitome of a respectful boyfriend, always seeking your consent before engaging in any action, be it a simple kiss or a gentle touch.

if you happen to be someone who tends to be disorganized and messy, rest assured aki will gladly take on the responsibility of tidying up after you. regardless of the severity of the mess, simply tell him, and he will promptly begin cleaning it up, without any judgement.

bathing together has become a regular routine for the both of you, a frequent occurrence that follows a long day of hunting devils. aki, in particular, finds comfort in sharing these type of moments with you. the soothing warmth of the bathwater coupled with the gentle sensation of your hands massaging shampoo into his hair, while he rests against your chest, brings him a new profound sense of relaxation. it’s not always about being sexual, but rather the feeling of closeness with you that brings him a sense of tranquility.

aki is like a dad sending text messages. when he’s not around, he would text you to ask if you need anything from the store. when he receives your response, he replies back with a simple “👍” emoji. that’s it.

aki is all about being the big spoon— it’s just who he is. aki has experienced too much loss and he can’t bear the thought of losing you. he holds you tightly in his grasp, afraid that if he loosens his grip, he’ll lose you, even though that would never be the case. your presence alone brings him a sense of security, and all he wants is for you to be safe.

every morning, this man never leaves for work without giving you a gentle kiss, even if you’re still groggy. you’re the sole reason he can maintain his sanity while battling devils all day.

to aki, you’re like his home, his safe space. you are the one he can confide in, and shed tears without any guilt, and that is one of the many reasons why he loves you.

aki is tall, standing at 190cm (6’2). every time you talk to him, he lowers himself to your level so he can hear you more clearly. sometimes, you think he’s doing it to make fun of you, but in reality, he just wants to be close to you.

aki has a reputation for being aloof, but in reality, he is the complete opposite. he’s a dork. a dork who can’t help but smile whenever your name comes up, a dork who finds himself captivated by your every feature, analyzing them with great interest. a dork who’s madly in love.

quanxi (クァンシ)

quanxi has a deep admiration for her girls’ body, and it’s no secret - especially to you, who has personally felt her touch. every inch of your body is your favorite, from the curves of your breasts to the softness of your thighs. she revels in worshiping every aspect of you, leaving you feeling loved.

when someone utters even the slightest offensive remark towards you, quanxi’s protective remarks kick in, particularly if it comes from a man. she wholeheartedly defends you, regardless of whether you were in the wrong (gotta stand up for your girls), she becomes so defensive she almost resorts to physical confrontation, refusing to let anyone disrespect under her watch.

quanxi’s touch is ever-present. usually, it’s her hand on your waist in public, marking you as hers. behind closed doors, she explores every inch of you. it makes you wonder if she’s a different person outside of the public eye. but, who’s complaining?

i like to think that when quanxi gets drunk, she gets awfully needy and with you. she enjoys holding onto your arm and leaning against you, gently nibbling your ear, while softly expressing slurred compliments about your beauty.

quanxi is your ultimate protector, in every sense of the word. facing a menacing devil? before you can even blink, quanxi is by your side, fearlessly slaying the creature. your girlfriend takes pride in being your number one protecter, regardless of your strength.

making out sessions happen 90% of the time you two are together. quanxi simply can’t resist when you give her that irresistible look, with your lips appearing soft and pouted!

titty lover

[lunarmoves]

Hello its me again and once more I hope you're having a wonderful day/night!

I was wondering if you could give us some DCA fanfic recommendations! I'm very new to ao3 so finding good ones are hard for me :(

- (^⁠_⁠^) anon

nonnie i would LOVE to!! /cracks knuckles/ i have a hoard of them bookmarked in ao3 and im always sniffing for more! since you're new to ao3, ill tell you that when i go hunting for a fic, i usually type something like "dca/reader" in the little search bar and then click the "Daycare Attendant (FNAF)/Reader" tag on the first fic i see. then i go to filters and change the "date updated" to "word count" to sort it. i prefer long fics above all else haha

ANYWAYS. fic rec list under the cut! (all of these are dca/reader btw)

any of bamsara's DCA fics, including Celestial Omens (that really like Fishsticks) (mer au), Solar Lunacy and its affiliated one shots. probably The DCA Fic of All Time for me. it was my introduction to the fandom and i have not been the same since, esp with all the author's art!!

An Eye for an Eye by icedmetaltea. probably discontinued but i saw amazing art for this fic and consumed all 20k of it! definitely worth the read (aquarium/mer eclipse au btw!) also Occupational Hazards is an scp one shot that was v v good and I Watched You Become a Stranger (another mer one shot)

Coiled Around the Fine Line Between Love and Fear by crazedauthor. naga sun and moon! very very very good fic, probably my fav naga au on ao3! it begins on such a good hook and keeps you enthralled!

anything by muzzlemouths! i particularly loveee dreameater moon (we dance in synchronous rotation). all their one shots are SOOO goood and fluffy (mostly. im still hurt by a few of them </3)

Pisces Caelestis by S_V. SUCH a good mer au!! juicy cultural miscommunications and i just lovee moon in this LMAOO. sun is also a ball of sunshine!

Fish Out of Water by imagine_darksiders. a leviathan au that changed everything for me, i think. it was the first fic i read that had masssiveee mer sunmoon and i ate it up!

also literally anything by naffeclipse LMFAOO like, she has 42 fics on ao3, trust me when i say they are all bangers. the first fic i read was In Deep Dreams Between the Waves (leviathan eclipse) and i remember losing it over a certain scene at 4am shdkfsdf. Cryptid Sightings is also an absolute fav. id link more fics but it would be all 42 lmao

copper cogs rusted through by borashore. a post-fire au that i consumed in one sitting a long time ago. i dont remember much, but i know moon made me want to throttle him then hug him LMAO

Dealer's Choice by certified_handler. a club au fic that hooked me in from the START!! i love sun in this, he is written sooooo well and there's a lot of murdery business goin on >:) iirc the sequel is out and posting but im not caught up yet LOL

Weal and Woe by pure_plum. a fantasy/dnd kind of au with amazing descriptions!!! such a gorgeously written fic and sun/moon/eclipse are all sooooo touch starved <3 i need to know what eclipse's deal is!!

Celestial Sundown by pillowspace. THE god au of all time oh my god i cant express how obsessed i am with this fic!! and the art from the author?? phewww i think about sun so often, the designs are lush

The Hermit's Guide to Merfolk by esuerc. another mer fic, ofc, that i dont remember much of bc it's been a minute, but i remember one scene with eclipse that was so vividly described that it took my breath away!! also Supernova which i also dont remember much of, but i know sun was very unhinged in it!

My Baby by xmimi89er. an alien au where sun and moon are literally sooo adorable and angsty and they make u want to wrap them in bubble wrap and protect them forever. good fic for when you want to be the one protecting them. also the author's art is SOOO pretty

Ghost in the Machine by qwille. a multiverse type of fic with numerous versions of the dca! so very well written with good plot, lore, and characters. i'm sure you've probably seen character art drifting around on tumblr, either by the author or from fans. very very good designs, im partial to sol myself

(love is) a seed that grows by starboundpix, a farmer help au that's sooo cute!! very stardew vibes!! i always think about the descriptor that sun and moon have little flower/vine designs on their arms!! it's not too long, but def worth the read!

(In Their) Astral Orbit by rinzydings. my god this is SUCHHHH a good fic like!! it definitely deserves way more kudos than it currently has!! i could gush on and on about this fic, sun and moon are characterized so well and it's literally everything i have wanted in a dca fic

There Are Many Benefits (To Rethinking This Career Path) by moonliched (mer au). the worldbuilding in this is so good and the plot is LUSH!! love the dynamics between sun moon and reader!! constantly thinking about this fic ngl

Star-Crossed by cytokiine. a fae au that honestly had me hooked right from the start! there are a couple of plot twists in here that i truly did not expect. truly i hated moon at first, then i grew to love him within like, one chapter lmao

He's a Little Confused but he's got the Spirit by midnight_mourning. my god i think this fic actually gave me a conniption /pos. sun is written soooo well he is such a conniving little shit!! obsessed with him and it's really interesting seeing engineering details in the fic!

Love, Death and Rollerskates by spadillelicious, an 80s roller rink au with a sun and moon who are so very unhinged!! the interactions with them and reader are very very good. lots of tense moments, sun is definitely scary as hell sometimes LMFAO. lots of fanart floating around for it + drawings from the author, the designs are top tier!

Pluck my Heartstrings by pluck-heartstrings. a medieval times au post pizzaplex that honestly has a dynamic im so obsessed with?? there is so much miscommunication and sun is definitely a teeny tiny bit insane, i love him and moon <3 lots of art from the author!

As long as we are loved by shiracheshire. a living doll au that i just recently caught up on and it is sooo beautifully written! very heartbreaking at times, but i loved reading the progression of sun and moon's relationship with reader!

and that's all i've got so far lmao. i'll probably come back and update this as i read more fic, but!! hopefully this is a good start!

[coffeeandconstellation]

I uninstalled the stupid instagram and you know what, it's the best fucking decision I have ever made. Damn I was so tired of it and it was only when I took a break I realised how much of it was weighing me down. Phewww....

Tumblr and pinterest will forever be a safe haven, I tell you.

[puff-yy]

reformed! - a stupid soudam au made by mwah

Kazuichi Souda is a normal,yet bullied high school student.fights are nothing new to this kid at all,since he gets into them quite a lot.on his way home from school,he hears rustling in an ally way.more like chirping,honestly.going in to investigate,he mysteriously blacks out

he wakes up what seems to be hours after it happened,and his shocked.his arms and hands seem to be strapped onto the arms on a dentist-like chair,as well as his feet at the end.and something odd his strapped around his beanie,coming from the back of the chair head.his also gagged,but he didnt figure that out until he tried to speak

he sees someone from the shadows,slowly making their way towards him.it turns out to be Gundham Tanaka - a missing high school student for over a year and is wanted for questioning over an “accident” that killed his family.he mentions to Kazuichi that his going to be his lap rat,by means his going to be experimented on with different mods,for a revenge plan...

in comes Sonia Nevermind,Kazuichi’s former girlfriend and the daughter of the cheif of police.she goes over to Gundham’s hideout after a month of Kazuichi disappearing,only to find a horrifying sight. she’s found Kazuichi,but the only problem was his basically unrecognizable from all the mods Gundham’s done to him.Gundham himself is a cruel,pity guy who would use anything to fulfill his ambitions ,but with a little help from Sonia,he might be able to see Kazuichi as not just a testing dummy for his experiments...but as a human

[b3lphie]

✿ good slut — asmodeus !

info ; porn w no plot ;) sub/dom, femdom!reader, sub!asmodeus, semi public sex(?), slut-shaming, face slapping, pegging, sucking on that fat plastic cock <33, choking(?), mommy kink, degrading

warning ; nsfw basically lmao

a/n ; omg i haven’t written any smut in a WHILE DJSJDJKS,,,, god it feels weird lmao. i worked a lil TOO hard on this skajsjs but uhhh neways- i hope you guys enjoy <3333 (plz don’t criticize me too harshly lmao 😓)

“god, you’re such a fucking slut, you know that?”

you growled as you pinned asmo against the cold tile walls in the nightclub bathroom. asmo had let out moan as you bit down on his supple flesh, leaving a pretty red mark on his neck. “dancing all up on that you... what the fuck was your intention, hm?” you forced him to look up at you your gaze was almost threatening.

“aw come on y/n-chan! i was just having a little fun~” he batted his lashes up at you and played a coy smile. he was teasing you— he has that little teasing glint in his eyes. he knew why he did it. how annoying, you thought as you chuckled lowly. you smacked his face harshly and his breath hitched, moaning from the burning sting on his cheek. “mmm, that hurt y/n-chan~” he moaned out then giggled. “shut up, whore.” you spat.

your free hand went down and tugged at the short pink pleated skirt he was wearing, still keeping your gaze on him. “with that skimpy ass skirt. you tryna make jealous, huh?” you leaned in closer to his face, lips ghosting over his. “you wanted me to fuck you, right? you wanted me fuck your pretty little cunny stupid right, babyboy?” asmo felt his cock twitch from your lewd words. you pressed a quick kiss on lips, bitting down gently on his bottom lip before pulling away. “you want me to fuck you so bad that you had go on and act up for it. such a naughty little princess.” you said as your hands slipped up his crop top playing with his perky nipples. he gasped and whined, bitting down on his lip. “all you had to was ask for it baby.” you chuckle, pinching one of his nipples. “ah— mommy!” he cried out. you licked your lips, “on your knees,” you demanded. “now.” and with that, he got on his knees for you. “good boy.” you breathed out. you unbuckled your belt and pulled down your pants, the plastic pink cock springing free— which took him by surprise a little. asmo couldn’t help but let a small giggle, “oh? and why did you wear this, y/n-chan?” he smirked up at you. you rolled your eyes and smacked the tip of the dildo against his lips lightly. “shut up and suck it.”

gripping it with both of his hands, asmo opened his mouth and began to suck on the plastic pink toy. his eyes flickering up to you, he licked the side of it down slowly then back up, going back to kiss the parts that where he missed. a treated the dildo like it was a real cock, sucking on the tip as if it felt good to you, putting the cock deeper into his mouth as if you could feel him around you. “that’s a good slut, just like that.” you moaned out, patting his hair as he continue to suck you off. “you look so pretty with your lips around my cock, baby.” you said. asmo moaned, sedning vibrations down the dildo’s length, making it hum lightly on against your clit and causing you to sigh from the small bit of pleasure.

you grabbed a fistful of his champagne-colored locks, you pushed the pink cock deeper into his mouth. your smirked as his began to tear up, his shaky hands finding your abdomen. “come on, i know you sucked plenty of dick before baby.” you laughed almost sadisticly as you began to thrust your hips. he gagged slightly around it, saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth as you tugged the back of his, slidding him off the dildo. he gasped for some air and coughed a little, his sticking out a little as he looked back up at you with teary eyes. you wiped away his the tears pooling at his corners and put your thumb in his mouth, sucking and licking it slowly. “mommy’s good little boy.” you praised.

you helped him up and pulled him into a heated kissed, tongues colliding against each other and teeth hitting each other lightly. “mmm~ mommy please,” he whimpered, pulling away from the kiss. “please what, asmo?” you asked, palming his cock through his skirt, mewling from the pleasure. “p-please fuck my pretty cunny until i pass out, please..!” he begged, keening as you slipped your hands up skirt and rubbed the tip with a palm of your hand, bucking up into your palm for more.

you couldn’t help but smile from his begging, “since you asked so nicely, princess,” making him turn around as you lift up his skirt and press your cock against his ass. “i’ll give you what you ever so desperately want.” he yelped as you smacked his ass harsly, leaving a light red print on his cheek.

he moaned as you spit onto his hole, babbling small ‘thank you mommy’s’. you carefully line the head of the plastic cock against his hole and slid it in and back out slowly, watching the cock sink into asmo’s pretty little ass. you then grabbed his hips and slammed back into him harshly, making him moan out loudly with a small cry. you began to thrust your hips in a fast motion, shoving the cock hard and deep inside of him. asmo keens and whines start to echo, as he felt your cock hit all the right spots. “m-more!!” he cries out. you then wrap your arms around his waist, his back now pressing up against you as he let out pornagraphic-like. a breathy moan escaped past your lips as you wraped your fingers around his cock and began to jack him off.

“does my cock feel good? does mommy’s cock make you feel full, hm?” you hum in his ear. “mmm fuck!— fuck yes!!” he mewls, high pitched moans fly past his pink lips as you continued to pound relentlessly into his tight hole. “must be because because you’re moaning way too fucking loud, princess.” you chcukled. “you must want everyone to know that only i can make your cunny feel this full and good,” you said as you quickly laid harsh smacks against his ass cheeks. he could only moan in response as he felt himself draw closer to finishing. “‘m so close, so close!” he cried loudly, his arms wrapping around your neck. “go on then, come for me baby.” you whisper in his ear. one last stroke to his cock, his strings of milky white cum spurt from his cock, making his legs feel weak and naking his vision blurry, as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

he nearly falls to his knees but you catch him (and slightly struggling to hold him up). you press a wet kiss against his lips and smiled, “ such good little slut.”

[angstsfordays]

Save Me, Save You [4/?]

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Enhanced! Avenger Reader

Summary: Your fights mostly belonged on the grounds while he worked mostly in the mystic and cosmic realms. Even though you both fought together in the infinity war to stop Thanos, you and Stephen Strange hardly ever interacted with one another. It only took one incidental misunderstanding between the two of you to bring both of you closer than ever. For two people who do not believe that they could find love, all we can say is that love finds you unexpectedly.

Chapter synopsis: Reader and Stephen find themselves to be in a compromising situation.

Warnings: Slight angst and a whirlwind of emotions!

Word count: 4.9k.

Notes: Phewww! Chapter 4 is finally here! I hope you all like it! Do let me know how you feel about it! This chapter is definitely the turning point and the beginning of many things! Tried adding a cameo, wasn't sure if it worked, but let me know yeah? 🥹💖

Love,

Angstsfordays 🧡

Chapters: Prologue | One | Two | Three

------------------------//---------------------------

You didn’t expect your Saturday night to go like this. Sam and Bucky were going about their usual bickering in your quaint kitchen space as they decided to both cook dinner.

This impromptu dinner was least expected since you know they had both been busy in Washington DC.

As you looked over to Bucky who was adamant that hot sauce should not be added to the dish towards a disapproving Sam, your heart started to race a little and not in a good way.

Things had been amicable ever since you finally sent Bucky a text a while back. You told him that you had moved on from the awkward confession/ rejection that happened and you wanted things to remain status quo.

It was the best thing you could do since you definitely could not avoid him forever. Not especially since you two could possibly be working together in the future.

Once you finished setting up the table, you looked to the two big men who finally ceased their bickering and brought the dishes over to the table. You went to get everyone’s drinks and the three of you finally had a few moments of peace eating before Sam spoke up.

“So what’s it like to be around a bunch of wizards?” You had managed to fill in Sam what you were currently up to and he was honestly surprised when he heard that you have been in frequent association with Stephen and Wong.

“They’re sorcerers , Sam.” You responded with a disapproving look to which Sam held his hands up in fake innocence.

“Ok, so what’s it like hanging out with sorcerers? Have you learnt to pick up magic? Cause honestly, I won’t be surprised.” He asked wittingly and you chuckled at Sam being Sam.

“I wished. Honestly, seeing them opening up portals to travel makes me so envious.” You answered with a dreamy look. You wondered if it was possible for Stephen to teach you, you had to ask permission from Wong though…

“Tell me Y/N, what was it like to be hanging around Strange? Didn’t talk to him much but he doesn’t seem like the approachable type.” Sam started asking.

You thought about your interactions from the first time you met Stephen back at the hospital to when you reunited at the Sanctum to your first clash over America and finally to you guys making up.

Your cheeks flushed a little upon recalling your last interaction with Stephen earlier in the day. Oh the awkwardness back at the mountain…

“Stephen does seem a little cold at first but he can be nice to be around with.”

“Oh going into first names now? Stephen!” Sam teased as he imitated the way you said Stephen’s name. You rolled your eyes as Bucky then spoke.

“I don’t know, he seems kind of stuck up.”

“That’s just at a glance. He is actually very warm-hearted and caring.” You refuted his claims with a gentle smile forming on your face as you thought about the warm-hearted moments you had with Stephen.

Bucky looked at your serene expression before he spoke tenderly, “You always see the best in people, Y/N.”

It was as if he was also speaking about himself too. Besides Steve and (even now) Sam, you were the only person who really didn’t care about his shameful past and genuinely cared for him.

He recalled how you readily took his side in the Civil War and took whatever you had to prevent him from getting taken in by the authorities. All these years, you stood by his side and saw him as Bucky Barnes, not the Winter Soldier.

When he felt like he couldn’t return your feelings for him, Bucky felt horrible but he wasn’t going to promise you something he was not sure he could provide. His relationship with you was more precious than anything else he had, he was not going to let anything ruin it.

Bucky looked towards you as you went on to speak highly about Stephen Strange. He wondered how great Stephen Strange could be for you to speak of him in an almost adoring manner.

Bucky had to suppress the gnawing feeling at the back of his mind as he saw the glow on your face. “He is a really good person. You two should drop by the Sanctum sometime, come and say hi.”

“We will see…” Sam said cheekily.

You then looked towards your two guys curiously and asked, “How’s DC?”.

Both Sam and Bucky exchanged looks that did not looked too optimistic to you. Sam then cleared his throat before he spoke, “They aren’t entirely up for the idea. You know how it is, I’m not exactly up their idea of Captain America.”

“Bullshit. Who cares what they think? Steve chose you!” You banged your fist on the table, upset at how Sam was not being given the recognition he deserved. Ever since the incident with the Flag smashers, he had been working to establish himself as the new Captain America.

However, you know not everyone is welcoming to the idea- too stuck on the ideal past to move on to a new world order.

Sam continued with a disgruntled expression as he cut his food, “Well since I have the word, ‘America’ in my title. They think any of my actions would be a reflection of theirs.”

“The entire thing is ridiculous.” Bucky spoke up before he went on, “It’s divided in the current government. With the original Avengers gone, we have nothing to back us up.”

You looked towards your two best guys in front of you sentimentally, “If Tony was here…they wouldn’t dared to stick their noses.”

Sam and Bucky agreed with you. Now you were all on your own- to be honest, a huge part of why the Avengers were even possible was because of Tony’s financial and powerful backing. That was the reality.

“Do you think we should reach out to Pepper?” You proposed nervously. Sam and Bucky were both quiet as they looked back at you. As hard as it was to fight against this idea, the three of you were desperate.

Sam then broke the momentary silence. “I would have liked to but this….I don’t know how she is right now. If I came up to her with the idea of regrouping the Avengers, it will be rude. She probably just wants to move on and live her life.”

“Let’s not do that for now till we exhaust all ways.” Bucky advised calmly. The three of you agreed silently before getting back to dinner.

“Some dinner, huh?” Sam joked to diffuse the tense atmosphere.

“Sorry, I was the one who brought up DC.” You winced as you realised you were the one who steered dinner conversation into this direction.

Sam reached over to give you an affectionate squeeze on your hand to reassure you. “Nah, Y/N. We had to address it sooner or later. We’re all in this together.”

Sam then straightened his back and started to lean forward as he faced you, “Anyways, let’s move onto lighter stuff. So have you been seeing anyone?”

You almost spit back the cocktail that you made back into your cup as you were taken aback by Sam’s question. “Why would you suddenly ask about that?!”

It felt like a sense of déjà vu from earlier in the afternoon with how America was badgering on about your love life.

Sam then grinned before extending his hand to reach for Bucky’s shoulder to give it a light squeeze. “Old man right here just told me while we’re on the way here that he is ‘talking’ to someone.”

Sam broke out into a Cheshire-like grin as he air-quoted the word, talking. You kept your poker face on as best as you could.

“Can you believe he finally found someone who actually can stand his grumpy ass?” He turned to see Bucky who was wearing a sour expression on his face and immediately burst out laughing.

You thought you was able to move on but you still felt your heart plunged at the thought of Bucky seeing someone.

“Don’t be mean Sam! It’s great that he has someone.” You mustered up everything in you to fake your cheerful façade. “I’m happy for you Buck, who’s the lucky person?”

Sending a tight-lipped smile towards his way, Bucky looked at you in the eye with an unknown look trying to discern your reaction. Upon seeing your smile, he returned one back and said, “It’s the waitress at the sushi bar I frequented downtown.”

You had to suppress the choke that was coming onto you. You only hoped that you managed to put on a convincing act in front of Bucky and Sam. “She’s a lucky girl.”

Bucky had spent enough time with you to know when you were being genuine and you were not. While you wore on a smile on your face, he notice the redness in your eyes and how they were trembling to fight back tears.

His heart broke at seeing you like this but he decided to play along with your act. He forced a smile on his face in a similar act as yours. “Thanks Y/N.”

The tension that was only present between the two of you broke when Sam voiced in the conversation again.

“Enough about Mr Grumpy pants here. I want to know about you. Any guy in particular I should talk to?”

 “Oh my gosh Sam! No just don’t!” Eyes widened at Sam’s redirection to the one topic you hated the most, you slammed the table to show that you weren’t having any of it.

Sam raised an eyebrow at you with a teasing look. “No as in you don’t have a guy or not as in you do not want me to talk to him?”

Catching Bucky’s eyes focused on you, you faltered slightly at forming a coherent sentence. You didn’t want him to think that you had not moved on yourself from him.

“Well-I- I’m going out on a date with someone -”

The collective gasps from both men stopped you mid-sentence as they couldn’t believe their ears. Going into big brother mode, Sam started questioning you from head to toe on your imaginary man.

“It’s nothing serious yet, we're just going out, grabbing coffee and stuff!” You tried to convince an agitated Sam. While Bucky didn’t say anything, he had a disapproving look as he shook his head.

Who was he to disapprove anything- you thought as your head turned back to Sam who dropped a bomb.

“When’s the date?”

You eyed Sam with a warning look and gave him an accusing finger. “You don’t need to know because you’re not crashing! Don’t say you aren’t because I know you are!”

He scoffed and folded his arms back in response.

“It’s none of your concern. I am an adult, I can handle my own.” You folded your hands back too with a firm glare.

“Oh we know, it’s the other guy we’re concerned about. Back me up, Buckaroo.” Throwing Sam a dirty look at the mention of the awful nickname, Bucky turned back to you with a softened gaze.

Hearing that you might have moved on, sheer disappointment washed over him like a cold bucket of water. Bucky managed to utter out, “We just want someone good for you.”

Taking in an inhale, you looked back into his piercing cerulean blue eyes, you reiterated your stance, “I know, please trust me.”

Giving them an earnest and pleading look, both men backed off knowing that there was nothing they could do.

------------------------//---------------------------

Sam had mentioned that he would be returning back home to Louisiana for a short while before getting back to business. Bucky also stated he will stay at home for a while now and will join Sam again later when it was time.

Before leaving, Bucky mentioned that the two of you could hang out again- just the two of you like before. Your lips moved quicker than your mind to say yes, even though you know in your heart it was an empty promise.

Strolling around the streets of New York, you wore a pair of shades with a mini summer dress, snug cardigan and pair of sneakers. Most people wouldn’t have recognised you as you blended in like a regular person on the street.

Seeing a line forming at a new shop, you were curious to see what was being sold. You joined the queue and was happy to discover that they were having an opening promotion.

As you excitedly picked out the different flavours of cronuts, you wondered how you were going to finish them all. Your mind wandered off to the Sanctum and wondered if you should drop by, but you decided against it as you thought that you might be intruding.

Even if you were close with America, you were not sure if it was alright for you to drop such a surprise visit to Wong and Stephen on their off day too.

Guess these cronuts could be your breakfast and snack for the rest of week then.

When you reached the register, you felt the cashier staring at you for a little long. Tilting your head slightly in confusion, you then got nervous when you hear him whisper your name.

You could see him trying to control his emotions and you smiled back nervously. Paying him with cash, you could see his hands trembling to receive it. You pulled back your sunglasses to see his name tag.

As he handed over your purchase, you spoke, “Thanks Ned. Please don’t tell people I was here, ok?”

Ned couldn’t speak but nodded silently. You reached out to give him a fist bump as a sign of promise before giving him a wave as you swiftly made an exit.

Letting out a deep exhale, you quickly make your way to the end of the streets. You were not on the level of fame as the other Avengers to the general public but you knew that you were no stranger to the more avid fans.

Looking back to the store, you were relieved to see that there was no fuss among the crowd- meaning that Ned probably didn’t expose your identity.

As you walked backwards, you were taken aback by a sudden thud against a sturdy and soft mass.

Peeking through your dark shades, you blinked a couple of times to make sure you were seeing correctly.

“Y/N?” The voice that spoke only confirmed your suspicions and you lifted your shades to see Stephen Strange’s deep blue eyes staring back at yours.

“Stephen.” His name came out as a whisper from your tinted lips.

In all of the time you had gotten familiar Stephen, this was the first time you actually bumped onto him coincidentally on the streets of New York.

“It’s a surprise to see you here.” His deep baritone was starting to do something to you felt your heart drumming against your chest unexpectedly.

“Yes, I was just checking out the new store over there. They’re famous for their cronuts!” You opened your paper bag to show off your buy to the sorcerer.

“You bought ten just for yourself?” He asked with an eyebrow raised at the cronuts packed neatly in the fancy box.

“I can’t help it, they had a lot of nice flavours and a promotion….” A rush of heat went to your cheeks as you explained to him. You must have sounded ridiculous and your embarrassment deepened when you heard him letting out a chuckle.

Seeing how you were looking down in embarrassment, Stephen started to feel an adoring smile forming on his face. He looked over to see you dressed like a regular civilian and couldn’t help but to let his eyes wander how even more pretty you looked in your dress.

Not that you weren’t usually pretty, but he always saw you decked in a leather jacket, formal blouses and long pants when you came over to train America.

The only other time he saw you in something different was the time at the café when he sought you out to apologise.

“You really look different outside.” Stephen let out before you looked back at him with doe eyes that could make him melt.

“No one would take me seriously at work if they saw me wearing long skirts and mini dresses.” Straightening your dress with a nervous smile, you continued, “I actually like to dress like this normally when I am off work.”

“You look different too outside of the Sanctum.” Your eyes wandered at the printed long-sleeved shirt and dark jeans that he was wearing. You never knew that Stephen could have such a nice sense of dressing as the image of him in his robes were ingrained heavily in your mind.

“Yes, the robes and cloak usually attract too much unwanted attention.” He said with a light-hearted chuckle- the twinkle in his eyes took your breath before you blinked to look down.

Why were you feeling so warm? Was it your cardigan in the warm afternoon sun?

The two of you stood quietly for a few moments before you both spoke at the same time.

“Y/N-”

“Stephen-”

Stephen gestured for you to speak. You nervously fiddled with the handle of your paper bag before you looked up to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t take up much of your free time, I would make a move first-”

Your eyes wandered to the side as you tried to make up an excuse- which caused you to miss the crestfallen look on Stephen’s face. He was definitely not expecting you to leave so fast…his heart yearned for you to stay.

You were the only thought running through his mind yesterday and to see you on the streets today- he knew that it had to be fate. Despite his own warnings about starting anything, his heart ruled over his mind once he saw you from across the street.

Stephen purposely raced across the street to try to bump into you. As his long strides got him closer to you, his mind was racing to think of how he could approach you.

“Hey?”

“What’s up?”

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Stephen scrapped all those less-than-ideal ways to approach you subtly and naturally. However, before he could have come up with something better, he did not expect you to bump into him first as you took quick steps while looking over your shoulder.

Stephen immediately cut you off, “No, you’re not.”. You stopped to look at him in surprise before he cleared his throat to continue, “I thought you might have offered one of those cronuts to share. You always were telling me about how you had the best recommendations for food-“

Stephen was nervously fiddling with his hands as he spoke. Surprised at what he said, you fought back a smile on your face at the intention behind his words.

“Oh I didn’t think- I would love to!” Biting your lips after realizing you sounded a bit too excited, you ran your fingers through your hair to look calm.

Upon hearing your words, Stephen himself had to hold back the big smile that was threatening to form on his face. He then cleared his throat to suppress it. “I was actually going to buy more tea to stock up if you don’t mind, we could get it together and we can head back to the Sanctum to try these many cronuts that you bought.”

You eagerly nodded before Stephen led the way. The two of you continued to walk to the tea shop as you both got into a light conversation. Seeing the gap between you two, Stephen hoped you wouldn’t noticed as his feet inched closer towards yours to bridge the space.

Both of you basked in silent glee at each other’s company and as Stephen let his eyes roam over the sidewalk, he missed out how your eyes wandered to the closeness of his clothed arm swinging beside you and that the smile you made when you purposely brushed your arm subtly towards his.

------------------------//---------------------------

Stephen and you had finished two cronuts and two rounds of tea each before he mentioned that Wong had ordered new books into the Sanctum’s library.

The library was empty as everyone was resting on a Sunday. As you mentioned about where America was, he said that she was meeting up with a few friends to go to the mall earlier.

Browsing through the collection, you took a small step ladder to have a closer look at any books that might peruse you.

Seeing an interesting title, you used your might to grab it out of its tight confinement between two other books. What you didn’t expect was the force you used to pull the book out caused you to falter and lose your footing.

You felt a pair of soft yet calloused hands hold you up by your arms. You turned around to see Stephen supporting you gently and the both of you looked lost in each other’s eyes.

When reality came back to you, you muttered thanks before making your way down the step ladder. The entire interaction from before left your knees as you wobbled once you took the first two steps.

Stephen reached out to pull you back up but the both of you ended up in a tumble. What resulted was you ending up laying on Stephen’s chest who landed on his back.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe how much of a klutz I can be.” You whispered apologetically at the man who was grunting in slight pain after cushioning your fall.

Your arms laid on his chest while he held onto your waist. Seeing you hovering over him, one of Stephen’s hand involuntarily left its hold on your waist before brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Y/N, I-” His head was giving a thousand reasons to stop him from whatever he was about to say but for once, he wanted his heart to rule his mind.

You looked over nervously as Stephen spoke and you were definitely sure that you could feel the quick hammering on your chest or was it his?

“What in the name of Vishanti is going on in here?” Another voice spoke and it quickly broke both you and Stephen out of your spell.

You immediately brought yourself to a seating position not realising that you were sitting on Stephen’s lap.

Your eyes widened in horror not only at the sight of Wong but also Sam and Bucky at the Sanctum library of all places! You looked back to Stephen who returned a surprised look before he joined you to meet you chest to chest.

“Wong!” You exclaimed in shock.

“Y/N?” Bucky asked inquisitively as he processed the sight of you and Stephen together. Bucky and Sam happened to be on the streets together and met Wong who was running an errand.

The three exchanged pleasantries and Sam mentioned about how all flights were booked out for him to be unable to fly back to Louisiana. Wong, being the nice guy he was decided to offer Sam help by opening a portal back home.

Sam was genuinely grateful. However, Wong mentioned he had to bring some things back to the Sanctum first before he can help. Sam and Bucky then both took the opportunity to visit the Sanctum for the first time too.

What they least expected was to be greeted by the sight of you being top of Stephen Strange!

The two men looked to see your flustered face as you exclaimed in panic. “Sam! Bucky! What are the two of you doing here?”

“What are you doing on Strange?” Sam pointed out the obvious before you looked down to see the position that you and Stephen were in.

“Oh!” You mumbled in sheer shock before scrambling off and standing up swiftly. Stephen followed behind you closely as he couldn’t believe the turn of events.

Wong decided to address the elephant in the room, “What were the two of you exactly doing?”

A moment of silence passed before you worked up an excuse terribly, “Well-I-the thing is- I was-”.

Sam cut you off as a realisation came to his mind, “Wait, hold up. The date you mentioned last night, was it with the wizard today?”

“Sorcerer.” Stephen immediately corrected out of habit. Sam ignored him and turned back to you as he asked again, “He’s your date? The guy you’re on a date is with Strange?!”

Your mind was imploding as you tried to process everything that was going on. You were going to get busted. You looked over to see Bucky with a grim look staring back at you.

How were you going to explain that this was case of untimely misunderstanding but kept your pride when it’s on the line? Seeing your silence on the matter, Sam continued, “What the heck, Y/N?! Of all people, I never expected you with the wizard?”

“Sorcerer.” Stephen corrected with an annoyed expression, although it quickly turned to confusion at how you were being nervous and quiet in front of everyone. What’s this talk of a date with someone else?

Stephen’s heart sank at the thought. He observed how you were holding a longing stare at Bucky Barnes and then it all came back to him.

“Actually…I used to like someone. A lot actually. I thought it could work out between us and I confessed my feelings. He didn’t return it.”

“He never saw me more than a friend- a sister.”

Looking between you and Barnes, he just knew and he felt a wave of sadness at his realisation. What snapped him out of his trance was when he felt a pair of arms snake around his.

He looked down to see you with a pleading look before he heard the hushed whisper, “I’m so sorry”.

“Well, you caught us. But this was exactly why I didn’t want you to say anything because you would react like this!” Putting up a nonchalant act, your mind worked quick to turn things around to save yourself from humiliation.

Stephen tried to process what you just said before he saw the jaw drops from the three men in front of him.

He was the next to join them as you continued, “We do have good feelings for each other, but we’re also trying to see where this takes us so, please do not butt in.” Shooting a warning glare mainly towards Sam, you hoped to diffuse this situation quickly before you could explain to Stephen properly the mess you were creating right now.

As you turned to look back at Stephen with a firm and determined look, what surprised him next was when you gave him an affectionate squeeze on his arm before you leaned your head closer to him.

“I hope you can respect our privacy.”

“But how- but you- what?” Sam exclaimed in sheer shock at seeing you cozing up to Stephen Strange. Bucky, on the other hand, was quiet but not having any of it. If looks could kill…Stephen Strange would be dead a thousand times over.

Wong then interjected as the voice of reason, turning to Sam and Bucky, he explained, “It makes sense though. Y/N is always frequently coming over and they do hang out here several times outside of America’s training.”

Realisation dawned on Wong as if a light bulb went on in his head. He then looked towards you and Stephen, “That’s why you had that sour look and went all quiet when America was going on about Y/N’s dating life yesterday!”

“I’m sorry- what?” Stephen couldn’t believe the words coming out of Wong’s mouth and he looked back to you who now wore a puzzled look.

Wong then turned the attention back to you. “That was also why you were denying that you are interested in meeting anyone else. You even refused my matchmaking with the Hong Kong recruits, because you were already taken with Stephen!”

You wanted to explain yourself but Stephen beat you to it as he broke out of his calm façade and stepped up to talk, “You’re mistaken, Wong.”

“Don’t lie, Stephen. We’ve been friends for a while, I know what you are thinking about. Although, I must admit while it is surprising for the two of you to get together, I also don’t find it surprising at all. You two do seem to have some unspoken chemistry when you’re together-”

“Wait hold up, Wong-” Before Stephen could explain himself, you tugged onto Strange and gave him a warning look. Wong was doing a very good job of helping you to exact your plan in motion and you weren't about to let Stephen cut it off.

“You’re right, Wong. Nothing gets by you. I can’t believe we thought we could have fooled you. That’s why you’re Sorcerer Supreme. So observant and wise.” You fed into Wong's ego and he preened at your praise.

You turned to see Stephen with a baffled expression before muttering, “Please play along, I will explain everything later.”

“So is this what it is? You’re going out with Strange now?” Bucky vocalized amidst the chaos of the entire situation.

Bucky couldn't believe what unfolded before him in this surprise visit. There was no way- you couldn't have moved on, and of all people he could have not imaged you being with Stephen Strange! The two of you had nothing in common at all!

Bucky saw the fire in your eyes before you spoke, “Yes, Bucky. I’m really like him. A lot in fact.” Returning a bold response, only Wong and Sam were oblivious to the tension between you and Bucky.

Stephen looked at you in concern as he felt a squeeze from your hold. He recalled how upset you were when you shared about your unrequited love. Stephen reached out to slide your hands from his arm before reaching out to interlock your fingers together.

Tears were almost welling at your eyes when you realised what Stephen was doing, you gave him a grateful smile before you looked back to Bucky who wore an intensity in his eyes.

“He makes me happy.” Your resolute words elicited two very different reactions to two different men.

One’s heart soared to the sky while the other one's heart plunged to the depths of the deepest ocean.

------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list: @severuined @thewinterpoet2 @moraonmarz @sherlocksgirl91 @strangesweetheart @zeeader @geeky-politics-46 @evelynrosestuff @mischiefmanaged71 @singhfae @capricorn-nightmare @stilllivindue2spite @endless-starzz @strangeobsessed @tis-vereon  @eve-dusk @sleepdeprivedasever @mochuchi @lovecleastrange

[sherrybaby14]

Put Your Lips Together And...

Summary:  You’re not ready to go all the way, but want to take it to the next level with your new boyfriend.  

Pairing:  Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings:  I have chosen not to list warnings,  read this at your own risk.

Words: 1000

A/N:  I haven’t written anything in about six weeks, this is just me trying to dip my toe back into fanfic.  Sorry if I am a little rusty.  

   His lips felt like heaven as they pressed to yours.  You welcomed his tongue into your mouth with a moan.   Steve’s hands went to your shirt, tugging at the hem.  

   “Mmm.”  You pulled back and pressed your forehead to his, grabbing his wrist.  

   “Sorry.”  He cupped your cheek and kissed you.  “I know you want to take it slow.”

   His hand vanished from your shirt.   Captain Rogers, always the gentlemen.  

   “I’m not ready yet.”  You licked your lips as you stood up from the couch, grabbing his hand.  “But maybe we could do some other stuff.”  

   “Oh?”  He rose, raising an eyebrow as you gave him a wink.  

   “I enjoy your mouth so much.”  You turned and led him toward your bedroom.  

   “And I do yours.”  Steve let out a chuckle.  

   “Well maybe you’ll enjoy it on other body parts?”  You flipped on the light in your room as you turned to face him.  

   “Please, I mean, yes.  I would enjoy that.”  Steve wiped his beard, trying to hide the grin.  “And I think you would enjoy my mouth too, on other places.”

   You didn’t try to hide the grin as your lips found his again.  Steve’s kiss was powerful, and you tried to match it, both of you tugging at each other’s clothing, eager to your mouths back together, feel your bare skin pressed to each other.  

   Now that your limits were out there, all awkwardness vanished.   The liquid pooling at your core matched the hardness of his cock, springing free from his last piece of clothing.  

   You pressed his shoulders and he sat down on the bed.  

   “Fuck.”  He bit his lip as his eyes took you in.  “I don’t swear, but you are…..FUCK!”  

   His blue eyes flashed when they ran up your body.  

   “Can I go first?”  Steve licked his lips.  “I want to taste every drop of you.”  

   You almost acquiesced, but you were hungry for him too.   So you dropped to your knees and put your hands on his, parting his thighs as you took in the sight of his cock.  

   “Wait your turn.”  You slid your nails down the inside of his thigh, coming to his dick you wrapped your fingers around the base.  

   Your breath was getting heavier, and you shook as you tried to calm yourself down.   You needed to save your air.   Swallowing hard you looked up at him.  

   Steve’s eyes were glossed over with need.  It was now or never.  

   You pushed your lips together and started at the tip.  

   “Pheeeww.”  You let out some oxygen.  

   “Ugh.”  Steve let out a grunt.  

   You increased the pressure, blowing more air at his cock, keeping it close to your face, but not enough to touch your lips.  

   “PHEWWW.”  You blew harder, throwing all the air in your lungs at his cock as you moved down, making sure you were hitting the underside.  

   “Your lungs are amazing.”  Steve’s head dropped back.  

   His praise fueled you and you sucked in a deeper breath.    

   “PHEWWWWWW!!!”  This time you blew at him with as much force as possible, imagining you were filling up a balloon.  

   “That feels.”  Steve ran a hand over his hair.  “So good!  If you don’t slow down I’m going to embarrass myself.”  

   You switched up your technique.  Instead of one big long puff of air, you let out little spurts.  

   “This is the best blow job I’ve ever had.”  Steve’s thighs started to shake.  

   “We’re just getting started.  No cumming until I say.”  Your chest was heaving as you looked up at him.  “I’m prepared.”  

   You bit your lip at the confusion on his face as you reached under the bed and pulled out your chi stylist pro, plugged in and ready to go.  

   “Is that a…a hair dryer?”  Steve blinked away the confusion to excitement.  

   “Top of the line.”  You aimed the thing at his cock and turned on the low setting.  

   “FUCK!”  Steve’s hips jostled forward as the blow dryer did most of the work.  You added little puffs from behind, your lungs burning from the first session.  

   “Does that feel good?”  You loved the rush of power as you blasted his cock with the air.  

   “So good.  So fucking good baby.”   Steve bit his hand.  

   “Think you can handle more?”  Before he responded you turned up the setting to high.  

   “HOLY SHIT!”  Steve fell back on the bed.  

   You climbed up from your knees, making sure the air blew all over his body, not just his cock.  

   “I can’t…”. Steve was fisting the sheets.  “It’s too much.  Please…”.

   You loved the image of him, thrashing against your bed as you let the full force of the blow dryer drive him mad.  

   “You want to cum baby?”   You were smiling ear-to-ear at the tortured man.  

   “I’m going to.”  He almost convulsed.  

   “Not yet.”   You grabbed Steve’s hand and wrapped it around the handle.   “Keep working on yourself.  I have one more surprise.  Don’t finish yet.”  

   Steve let out a whimper, but kept the blow dryer on him.   You went to your closet.   The really special toy you’d gotten just for him, just for tonight.   You spun around with the thing in your hands.  

   The view was incredible.  Steve blowing himself on your body.  The air from the dryer torturing him, beads of sweat on his body as he fought the urge to cum.   It would be burned in your memory forever.  

   “Alright baby.”  You walked over to the bed, grabbed the cord of the engine with a ripppp.  

   “What?”  Steve looked up with a heavy chest as you brought the leaf blower to life.  “NO!”  

   “You can cum.”  You aimed the thing right at his cock.  

   “FUCK!”  Steve’s back arched and he dropped the hair dryer.  

   You blasted him with the leaf blower.  It took second before he was erupting like a fountain.   You leaned in trying to catch some beads of cum with your tongue, but most landed on his stomach.  

   He was a groaning mess, but you didn’t turn off the device until you were sure there wasn’t a drop of cum left inside of him.  

   Steve was shaking as you plopped down on the bed next to him.  

   “That was...the best blow job of my life.”   His eyes were shut.  

   You grabbed a towel and wiped up his mess, pleased with yourself and your surprises.   You cuddled up to him.  

   “Be right back.”  Steve kissed your head as he walked back into your apartment.  

   You curled up on your pillow, imagining he needed a minute to clean himself up.   Tonight was perfect.  You started to drift to sleep, eyes heavy from the blow job.  

   “Oh no Princess, it’s not bed time.”  Steve stood in the doorway with a giant bowl of food.  “My turn to eat you out.”  

   He held up a hot dog.   You looked at what he’d raided from your fridge, a cucumber, some grapes,  a banana,  some celery.  He dropped the meat back in and pulled out a popsicle, giving it a lick.  

   “Let’s start with this.”   He deep throated the sugary mess.  “It’ll taste delicious.”  

   You let out a squeal as he grabbed your ankle, more than ready to have the favor returned.  

A/N:  If you made it to the end of this congratulations!  APRIL FOOLS!!!! (Originally posted 4-1-2020). 

[srirahayuwab]

Baby essentials : what you actually need #1

Baby bottle drying racks -  I bought this when I started working right after two months on maternity leave. As a working mother of course I need to send my baby to a babysitter from Monday to Friday equipped with 6 x 2oz expressed breastmilk and a bottle of fresh milk daily. On top of that, there were another 8 breastpump parts involved. That makes the total number of bottles I need to wash and clean every weakday is 7 excluding the breastpump parts all together. Its a lot I tell you. Phewww.... 

To cut it short, do invest in this super affordable item as you will really need this after every bottles cleaning session. My early days without this drying racks and initiatively arranged it upside down on a piece of newspaper is horrible. Its not drying to perfection and it took forever. With this rack,my problem solved and length of time reduced, BUT depends on where you locate it either in a closed area or directly under the fan. As for my case, I rest it under the ceiling fan just so you know that am a bit impatient. 

FYI I bought this from shopee at  RM7.35 per rack including postage. 

[nithyanelson-blog]

I have got a story to tell!!!!

I have got a story to tell!!

I went for a trek recently and as usual uploaded the photos stories in WhatsApp and Insta. One of my best friends insisted me that I should write about the experience in detail since I went with zero company. I'm not so good with words or metaphors but here I'm trying to detail what I've experienced.

Usually, I have the habit of exaggerating everything. But when I decided to write about my trip, I wanted it to be damn honest and the way I experienced it and not for the usual Insta update.

For a long time, I was thinking of going on a solo trip and experience what actually it is. So when my colleague Keerthi who is an avid trekker told me about his experience, I got a spark that I should try this one. It took me around 5 months to convince myself that I will be able to make it and it took another 2 months to convince my paranoid mother why I wanted to do it.

After getting the blessings from Mommy Dearest, the date for the auspicious trek was finalised as Feb 3rd 2019. The plan was to reach Delhi by flight and train to Dehradun from Delhi. So I started to Delhi on 2nd Feb morning. Morning dawned as usual and I got ready as usual and boarded local train to airport as usual except the fact I'm carrying 60 litre bag. It was quite heavy and I still wonder why the hell I packed so much for a trek(First timer- you never know what you'll need :P) I left Singara Chennai with much love from two of my best friends Ani and Vaishu. To be honest, I didn't feel a thing till I landed in Delhi. The moment I got into the Delhi metro station alone, the feeling of doing something for the first time started to kick in. Now many of you think what's fuss about this going alone as if I'm going to Moon or other planet(I feel you guys!) but I'll tell you why. This is not something that happens in our household often. Even I go to Bangalore or any other place for office trips or any other trip for that matter, my mother make sure that I call her before, after and during the journey and book the safest mode of transport suggested by the company itself or being accompanied by a friend or colleague. I won't say that I have never travelled alone then it would be a big load of bull shit but this kind of trip and trek with bunch of strangers in no network area is not a usual one for us.

So I met two of my trekmates in the Delhi railway station and we started our journey together to Dehradun. Around 6:30 in the morning, I reached Dehradun and met the other trekmates who were waiting outside railway station. Then the introductions happened and a guy who looked not more than 20 came and introduced himself as my trek leader and he is Himanshu. Haha I was shocked. I had to check twice whether he was the trek leader for real. Then our journey to the village of Sankri began. Sankri is the base camp for our trek. It is around 180 kms from Dehradun. 10 of us got into tempo Traveller and started our journey to the base camp. On the way we had our dinner and lunch.

I still wonder why did I order Dosa in the pahadi restaurant. It was so worse all I wanted to do was to take a flight back to Chennai and have a Saravana Bhavan Dosa. And yeah I don't blame anybody. On the way I saw the glimpses of snow and Yamunotri ranges. Man I was damn excited for this trip!

At around 5, we reached our base camp and got settled in the rooms provided. I explored the village for some time and went to the temple and prayed without knowing who's the God🤦 Back in the camp, all the prerequisites for the trek(medical history, documents) were checked by our trek leader and he started the briefing for trek. We gave a brief introduction about ourselves and it reminded me of my college first day. Then I was so nervous but now it was so fun. I was smiling for no reason. 20 of trekmates came from different cities of India. One big gang from Bangalore, one couple from Mumbai to celebrate anniversary, one couple to celebrate honeymoon, one engaged couple, a father daughter duo from Kolkata, guys from Rajasthan, Mumbai. It was a mix of everything. Once the briefing was done, I went out to have my dinner and felt the first cruel chill of the trek. To be honest, I have never been in a place where the temperature is below 18° C. That too because this year we had actual winter in Chennai. So when you put me in the 4° C, obviously I would shiver and freeze. I was about to cry when I couldn't feel my hands. Himanshu smiled and said 'Hota hai hota hai'. Adeii!! All I wanted to do was to smack his face at the very moment. Then I grabbed the hot tea vessel and had some food for the growling stomach and retired to bed soon. I couldn't help imagining how I'm going to survive for the next 4 days. Truth to be told, I was excited for the trek and panicked for the cold. Somehow I was drawn into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I got up to the commanding voice of Himanshu. This time he wanted to check blood pressure at 6:30 in the morning. Phewww!! There gone my sleep with him. We got ready and had our breakfast and all set to go for the trek. On the first day we had to cross 2.5 kms. But believe me when I tell you it's not just 2.5 kms. When you ascend the mountain, you would feel it requires double or triple the energy to cross than the one guides have mentioned.

After getting the do's and dont's from Himanshu, we started our trek following the trail. We would have walked hardly for 500 m , then it was just snow. I came to know that this year the snowfall was very heavy and usually on this trek we get to see snow only on 3rd day but this time we got it 1st day itself. I was quite happy and excited and got into my usual jumpy mode to see the snow.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was walking on the 3 feet snow and all I could see was just snow. I played and played and played throughout the trail and fatigue started showing it's face before I could reach the 1st campsite. With much struggle and constant Chalo chalo echoes from the guides Sunil Bhai and Upi Bhai, I reached the camp.

It was such a mesmerizing sight! One side its a valley of snow and other side stood the glorious pine trees bathed in snow yet giving the majestic looks. We have got two local dogs to play with and it accompanied us to other camp sites as well. We played mafia, cards, some funny games for introductions and had a blast on the first day. It felt so very good to get rid of my inhibitions and be able to mingle with a group about whom I knew nothing of. Once the dinner done, some of us decided to go for star gazing and the argument, discussion about various topics during star gazing we had, are something that's gonna stay with me forever.

Second day dawned little cloudy and sun was not ready to come out and meet us. Today we had to cross 4-5 kms. There were three steep ascends in the trail and I was dreaded and excited as usual. But it was much better than I expected and was one of the firsts to reach base camp. On the way we had so much fun and as for me, 2nd day was the best. I sang the loudest on the way and threw snow at everyone I saw and we played with the fresh snow on the whole trail.

I stopped at so many places and wondered whether I'm in heaven. The moment I saw the frozen lake Juda ka thalaab, I fell in love almost immediately. How can everything be so pristine white like there is no hint of cruelty or bad vibes in it! Words fail me to describe the magnificence of the nature. No adjectives are enough to express the beauty of it. All I could do was to be in the moment and enjoyed it till lasts.

The same joyous mood stayed for the complete day. Even in the campsite, we played games but this time, on the snow. I was so carefree, and didn't have any worry about anything in the world. I made snowman(with huge help from Rahul), engaged in snow fight, played so many games. It was just merry making time for us.

After the two days of trek, I was confident that I could manage to reach the summit. So it was never a question of whether I could do or not.

Himanshu told that we would be starting at 5 in the morning for the summit. Around 11 pm, I woke up to the butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was the excitement and nervousness of climbing the peak. But later I found it was the butterflies of sickness. I threw up twice and Himanshu was called and he gave medicines and clearly told me that he wouldn't allow me for summit if my condition remains the same. So I prayed all the gods to keep me fit and healthy just for a day.

Around 3:30 am, we got the woke up call and we were welcomed with snowfall and bone breaking cold. I hoped that weather and my health get better before trek get started. An hour passed with the refreshments and nokjhoks. Weather got much better than me. I was feeling breathlessness for walking from my tent to dining area. Himanshu told me that I'm not going anywhere and asked me to take rest. After much pleading and him not wanting a debate in the morning, I started the trek. I took my father's muffler with me and keep on talking with it as if with my father. I keep on telling 'Appa epdiyadhu poidanum'. I pretty much managed half way then suddenly I started feeling nausea and was about to faint. I had to walk to a hut which was 100m away where I could take rest and start again but I couldn't even reach there. At that moment I realised I'm not gonna make it to summit and I failed. I informed my guides and Himanshu that I'm not coming and they can go ahead. I sat in the hut for 20 minutes feeling dejected and listening to a guide and other fellows who decided not to go to summit for various reasons. I listened and listened and suddenly I couldn't any more. I came out controlling my tears and looked at the majestic Kedarkantha peak for one last time and started to run to the base camp. Alone. Defeated. I blamed myself, my father, my health, Himanshu, anything and everything that came on my mind. And then I stopped and took a look around me. It was just snow and mountains looking at me. I sat there on the snow and started thinking why I failed. Then I realized I triumphed the moment I took the TT to Sankri with 10 odd strangers. It was never about the climbing the summit at 13000 ft. It was about me coming out of my comfort zone which I have drawn for myself. I still remember when I was roaming on the streets of Delhi, I gave a thought of going back to Chennai without even showing up in Dehradun. But I came to Sankri and for 3 days I was among the strangers doing things which I have never done in my life and lived my life like never before and survived -20° C. This is the success for me and this is what I wanted. If I climbed the summit, that would definitely been a cherry on the top but I can't sulk over it and not seeing the happiness and fulfillment I got every other minute over the past 3 days. I have never seen snow in my life but here I'm walking on the snow and couldn't see anything other than snow and beautiful ranges. Why would I worry for something which I can't control?? With determined mind, I started walking to the base camp. This time contented and happy. I danced, I sang, I laughed, I played, I talked with the mountains and I slid down the snow. Simply I lived in the moment and enjoyed the time. With the whole hearted happiness, I reached the base camp, gulped the medicines and waited for others to join. I heard the stories of people who climbed the summit and to my surprise I didn't regret the decision of coming down. We stayed in the pahad for two more days and enjoyed the bliss and started our way back to Dehradun bidding good byes to our guides, Himanshu and the black dog who accompanied me throughout the trek! Being emotional type that I'm, I shed two or three tears when Himanshu hugged and asked me to come back to finish the summit.

When coming back, all the memories of the last 5 days rushed in my mind and probably the precious memories of my life. I'm sure I will go back to see the mountains again. May be they wanted me to come again and that could be the reason for my sickness 😝 (When you're are so optimistic, you can say anything)

This 5 day trek was not just another vacation for me. It was the best time and there is a feeling of content and self realisation! I realised it's ok to give yourself a break and live the life a little at times!!

While we were on the trek, everyone had a story to tell. When they looked at me, I told them with much embarrassment that I don't have any story. Rahul cheered me up and said 'Now you have got a story'.

And yeah now I have got a story to tell everyone💛

[empty-melancholy-blog]

10 Random Facts About Me

Tagged by  @mellifluous-distorted-rain ages ago

1. If I could, I would forever stay as a child—never aging, never dying, and I would read and play all day long. (Go away responsibilities, go away. You are not wanted. //cries)

2. I love night walks, but I am rarely given the opportunity of enjoying them.

3. I spend a lot of time looking at other people’s art and wondering what the process behind their works look like, how much time it takes them to finish an item, or how pleased they are with the end result.

4. I am a big fan of comics—webtoons, especially. I also used to read a bunch of mangas a couple of years back, but then school and other life issues took over my time, and I kind of ended up dropping it. (Still planning to return to manga because I really need to catch up on all the updates I’ve missed aaaa~)

5. I am a punctuality freak. = = And I really, but really hate it when there’s a delay, of any sort.

6. I have a colorful imagination, pffft-

7. Mystic Messenger fan!! Even though I’ve only completed one route in the normal gameplay (in case you’re wondering, it’s Yoosung’s, pfft-), and two in the Christmas special (Yoosung—God, he’s so easy to catch—and Zen). Oh, and I’ve also followed his after endings, both the normal and the Valentine’s one. Gaah, I really need to find more time to play the game again!! ><

8. I wish I could’ve played the piano. ;;

9. I like cute stuff ahahahahaha.

10. Dreamer.

Phewww, finally reached the end. God, this was hard. Hmm, now I am supposed to tag people, but idk who to tag so whoever sees this and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged by moi, pfft.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Yo, I was just wondering which comics your fics are based on because my insatiable thirst for robins is driving me to read them but I can't find them anywhere

Uhhh that’s a bit tricky, but I’ll do my best!

The Damian & Steph chronicles are loosely based on the Batgirl (2009) series, specifically issue #17

This one would be closest to n52 Red Hood and the Outlaws, although Tim is only in the series for the Death of the Family Arc, with a small cameo in the Court of Owls crossover. These two would probably fall into the same category. 

Since this one has Tim, Conner, Bruce, and Clark, I’d say try the preboot Superman Batman series.

The closest I could get you for this one would be the Gates of Gotham volume, but that’s not an exact match.

These two Dickbats fics would be closest to the old, preboot Batman and Robin series, plus the Batman section of the Darkest Night crossover. All of these would be closest to the n52 Batman and Robin. This one is 100% based on Gleason’s new Robin: Son of Batman.

These two are based off DC cartoons (Teen Titans and Young Justice).

For this, you would have to go back to the old Jason!Robin comics. I couldn’t give you a specific issue. 

The rest of them take place in the current storyline. The family thinks Dick is dead (Forever Evil), he works for a spy agency called Spyral (Grayson), and only Bruce knows that he’s still alive. Damian has recently returned from the dead (n52 B&R).

This four-part series was my take on how Dick could return.

This is a crossover story that takes place while Dick is still gone.

These two deal with the general emotional fall-out of Dick’s “death,” while this one does the same, using characters from the n52 Nightwing series.

This one is told from Dick’s point of view, while he is working at Spyral– so the Grayson series.

And these two are set in the future, after Dick comes home and everyone is mad at him. Those comics don’t exist yet.

I think that’s all of them? Let me know if you’re looking for info on any specific fic, and I might be able to give you better information. Thanks for reading!