#PHEW NO MORE TREES

[petrichoraline]

UPDATE: the site seems to be very shady so if you want to leave me a message please do so in my inbox!!!

i'd quite appreciate it if you left me a message 🥰

thank you to @sparklyeyedhimbo and @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas for tagging me! i'll do my best to soon send my messages to you and to everyone else doing this 💓

i'm going to tag quite a lot of people - no one should feel obligated to do anything!! but you might be interested in creating one yourselves and in case you do (or already have) i'd be more than happy to gift you smth so please let me know 💌

@idletype @howitrulyam @khaotunqs @gizkasparadise @solana-ceae @catboyjosten @littleragondin @tenprem @catwalkninja @hello-n-goodbye @spicyvampire @stormyoceans @celestial-sapphicss @gillianthecat @lelephantsnail @jyuubin @benkaaoi @dangermousie @tytangfei @loserlesbianongsa @chicademartinica @voicesofreasons @respectthepetty @sommmnus @xiaolanhua @justafriend-ql @magicaldreamfox1 @imminentinertia @dekaydk @fangirlmedstudentblog @alcairsei @forcebook @rythyme @sugarbabywenkexing @chawarin-panich @poetry-protest-pornography @soundwin @lovesickfolly @smittenskitten @potatoes-in-bloom @sollucets @saturnskyline @biochemjess @electric-rabbits @lotusclouding @thewayofsubtext @uptownseblaine @peerless-airplane

i'm using the opportunity to thank everyone, tagged or not, who's shared the joy of being in a fandom with me this year :) whether we've randomly interacted once or twice or we've talked through asks and dms - you made my experience on here more exciting and fun <3 i'm sending all of you lots of love and i wish you happy holidays! 💖

[yrtit]

i am feeling hopeful and excited besties

[cosmique-oddity]

Phew, my last weeks of work are now complete >:)

I loved Dratchet and Ratchlock since the very beginning of my attachment towards Transformers, first TFP Ratchet…..but yeah….two of my favorites character….plus Keferon’s Mech AU…..I had to make my own thing about it.

A story….no…an illustration ! I couldn’t choose. So I did both :}

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That was not the first time Ratchet came back to his private lab angry, but this time, yelling at his superiors, and at the system, and basically at evverything that could be yelled at except the pilotd while leaving the manufacture, was certainly the last. He quit. That was enough,

you don’t win a war with feelings they said

well yes,

exactly,

but you win a war with soldier, and frying their mind before they have their first fight because you want them to be more perfectionned ? That was a little counter productive.

So he gave up. They are on their own now.

The lightly humming of his car was barely enough to keep him awake, it have been a long time since he last returned home, usually, he stayed at his work place, to have more time to sleep, but then, he was sleeping even less. An endless vicious circle, things were often like that.

But all of that was over for him.

He granted these young greenhorn with his experience, and what did they do ? Ignored his advices. Sending pilots to death. So now, he had himself out of the infernal machinery. This mindless waste of human life, even where this is what they tried to save was absurd.

In the middle of his quiet and late ride, he heard a noise. Rumbling, was it the engine ? As he stopped the car backroad to check, the noise wasnt stopping. Came from the sky, military patrol ? He raised his two tired eyes on the sky and saw a shining rail approaching his forest, falling fast. Not quintesson shaped, and with the gaze of an experimented biomechanist, Ratchet identified a mech.

At this moment, its violently crashed on the ground, behind the trees at maybe three or four miles away. No matter how hard he argued with the scientist sooner this day or how bad he wanted to say fuck to all of this death industry who killed young soldiers, he could do something for the one trapped inside the mech....maybe.... the man regained his car as fast as possible and urgently headed for the crash area.

Deafened sound of tires on the damaged road. Ratchet was already projecting, mentally stocktaking the tools he took with him, and lucky enough for the poor pilot, he quit with almost all of his material, and even if it was mainly mechs repairing material, he also bought some instruments which were used for the subtle neuromedicine between human and mech. Could adapt some of it and stabilize the pilot....then he may have the time to go home and grab proper materials. If there was life there was hope.

" bold of him to crash himself just the day i insulted all of his hierachy".

He frowned. Almost there.

The trees nearby were crushed and uprooted. A flickering pink light catched his gaze.

Almost immediately, the Ratchet analyzed the mech. It was different. He didnt know in wich country it was made but that almost looks alien. The curves and shapes, busted and burned on several places were demonstrating an incredible display of genius ingeniery he could just admiring. But time was not for being amazed on plating.

Someone was trapped there.

He stopped and parked his car in front of a fallen tree, rushing to the car's trunk, taking few indispensable objets, including some of them to help a safe disconnection between pilot/mech. In case he wasnt out already. And a crowbar, the cockpit might be stuck, seeing all the damages the mech has taken...

The sound of slightly wet grass under his feet was covered by a frenetic noise of aeration. Ratchet listened to it, while cautiously approaching the unknown mech. It almost sounded like a breath, but was certainly a depressurisation issue. The mech had fallen from so high on the sky....

The damaged plating were hot, probably from atmosphere friction. He raised his crowbar and his eyes followed the curves of the chestplates, searching for a familiar shape, that could lead him to the injured pilot inside. His gaze stopped on a deep wound, that might have cut through the cockpit.

The engineer stepped on the hot metal, his thick boots preventing him from feeling the heat, and he started searching for a hint....anything that could be a mechanism, anything that could open this damn mech !

Ratchet considered the damaged chest plate he noticed earlier. The surroundings of the wound were leaking bright pink, a very unusual color for fuel. Another of these definitively strange things about the mech. Again....not the time for that. Maybe if he could widen the gap, then he would be able to have an idea of what was going on under this armor.

He tapped the plate, -it was starting to cool down- with one of his finger. It was a very little tap, but the whole mech startled. A hiss of pain, recognisible easily by an emerite engineer-but-i-fix-people-too, it had come from the head of the mecha. Was this modele controlled from the head, like Vortex ? But Vortex was insanely huge for a mech, way taller than this one. He moved careful, noticing the shaking of his support.

"You hear me, kid ? Its going to be ok. You crashed in a safe area.".

He spoke in his medic tone, wich mean, of course brusque, serious, but also reassuring and calm.

He mumbled about the mech's features and tiny words of comfort while reaching for the head.

A red light, not regular and rather epileptic was coming from the head, and while he was almost there, on all four of his limb to keep balance, Ratchet saw it.

A spectacularly humanoid face, with sculpted nose and lips was tensed in a painful expression, frowning, but the thing who trapped his gaze was the two optics....

....staring back at him.

Mechs dont stare. Their eyes are glowing, oftenly to mimick human face, after all, human are pretty prideful creature, no point in piloting big ass metal titan if no one could tell these where their creation.

What human couldnt mimick with technologie, on the other hand, was the subtle expression between trying to evualuate a threat, his own injuries, and looking rather on the verge of death but also ready to tear any enemy's limb appart with its teeth.

With just one....very long....look at the other's eye, Ratchet was suddenly understanding what was going on.

Well....probably not but he knew what he had to save.

The pilot, the pilot he had to save.

The mech was the pilot.

He was the one he had to save.

He stopped trying to -certainly- open his chest. If it wasnt good for human it probably wasnt for living technology.

The giant technological humanoid seemed in a high distress, exhaling a lot of air from his vents, his eye still intensely staring at him and the engineer doubted his usual technique -including trying to make himself as small as possible- would work.

"Its going to be okay Kid. I can help you. There is nothing here that want to harm you".

He did his best to convey all of these emotions with his facial expression and gaze, still firmly watching back at him.

"the world better wait till im home and officially retired before killing me".

The mech's gaze -damn it was so more living than ANY human made machinery- seemed to soften a bit but still radiated with suspicion.

Deadlock had been in several bad situations. It happened quite a lot when a specie of giant aliens with tendrils tried to invade your homeland, and he was ready to it.

Trained to kill, and to do it efficiently.

And he was *good* at it.

This time was just another of these ‘i went too far in my excitation’ moments, and he has crashed on a random planet he hoped was not inhabited. He landed hard, and pieces of his ship must’ve been thrown near his location.

And now, now there was an organic like no one he ever saw, and the organic was on his *lap* and he had the kindest warmest eyes he ever saw.

And these eyes were directly looking at his own eyes, and the well named ‘Deadlock’ was starting to wonder if he finally had reunited with the Allspark. His pained and tenseful grin faded a little and he tried to move his head forward, searching a better point of view to watch the singularity in front of him.

Ow.

Moving hurt.

Some sound came out of the organic’s mouth, probably a language. He didn’t had the proper tools to decode it but the tone of the language was extremely….comforting ? Soft ?

This was scary.

He wasn’t used to be welcomed like that after a fight.

Usually it was either another fight, either the yelling of a superior, either nothing at all. But this actual living being was carefully examinating his chestplates, and he recognized the gestual of someone who was used to heal. A medic perhaps ?

He tried to move something, maybe a hand, to reach for the pale organic, to be sure he was real, but his body was rather uncooperative, from what he could say, one of his legs was missing, and a lot of wound were releasing energon on the ground he couldn’t saw.

The high probabilities of bleeding out and crash was an issue.

He let his head hang, too tired to watch for every moves of the organic, and barely aware of his environment.

There must be a big problem somewhere….

He confusely thought, while watching the stars.

Must be a bigger injury I haven’t saw……..

Ratchet saw the bright light coming from the alien’s eyes slowly fading, and cold swear ran through his back. Yet, he could still say the soldier was alive, the lights of his body were shining, not a lot, but it was enough. He looked at his first aid kit with disappointment. That wouldn’t be very efficient since the form of life he was trying to preserve wasn’t a tiny human. The nearest thing he could compare the Mech to was….well their own mechs, or eventually….Quintesson. An horrible mess of organic and technology. It was partially thanks to their weird constitution that Ratchet had been able to make sense with the ‘he is alive’ thought.

At this moment and with this material, he couldn’t help the kid, and didn’t possess enough knowledge to tell if he was even dying or not.

He had already an idea of what to do….to fix him, at least trying to, but it involved several objects he hadn’t right now. Leaving to search for these so called objects was risking to let an injured alone, he couldn’t take that risk. He was trapped with the mech, and had to hurry and find something. He stood and reached for more adapted material in his car, trying to find something…. Anything.

Surprisingly, the most useful artifact he came across was his electric screwdriver and a bunch of screw along with a long metallic cabke. A parallel between human stitch, with sewing threads and the material he had with him right now. He could manage something between human fixing and mech repairing, that was what the ‘bio’ in bioengineer stood for.

The kid would be ok. He would live and tell Ratchet why he fell from the sky, and maybe if he saw his friend Jazz….out there…….

.

.

—————————————————

:)) @keferon

(I swear I’m not insane, your AU is just kinda giving me infinite drawing stamina lmao)

[worldofstoriesanddreams]

Isn't there an age limit?

The Justice League gathered in the meeting room to deal with yet another potential world ending threat. On the screen was a projection of an incoming alien armada. The invaders were as numerous as the stars. Each spaceship looked like a skull with many tentacles.

“These mechanical ships harvest a world’s resources, destroying all life, while terraforming the planet into servers which become part of Brainiac’s interstellar network,” Batman explained.

“We don’t have sufficient numbers to take them all down,” Martian Manhunter pointed out. “Is there a weakness we can target? Or do they have a leader we can capture to force the entire fleet into submission?”

“We need to locate Brainiac and infiltrate the ship he’s on.” While Batman spoke, a hush silence fell on the entire room. Everyone stared at the screen behind him, with mouths wide open.

Turning around, Batman stared in unbelief.

A massive sphere - a dead star, moved between Earth and the alien army. 

The cameras zoomed in on a red dot pushing it - Fawcett’s new local hero with the demeanour of a golden retriever - Captain Marvel. 

Gripping the titanic star like an oversized plastic ball, he swung it forward, hitting the incoming spaceships out of the galaxy.  

The Herculean man’s face lit with childish glee as he pumped his fist in the air. 

Grinning like an idiot, he carted the unimaginably heavy celestial object away, while whistling a ditty. 

How powerful was that man? 

More importantly, does he have any weakness in case he needs to be taken down?

“Phew,” Flash was the first to get his voice back. “The new guy took care of that. So can we go home now?”

“No,” Batman raised his hand. “Change of agenda. It’s time we expanded our membership.” Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. What better way to keep an eye on the new guy than to bring him into the fold.

Superman had a silly hopeful grin on his face. “I vote we invite Captain Marvel to join the League.”  The Last Son of Krypton must suspect that the new hero is a fellow Kryptonian.

“We don’t know anything about him,” Green Lantern cautioned.

“Better get him on our side than have him join our enemies,” Batman replied as the screen showed photos and articles about Captain Marvel gleaned from the internet for all to study.

“He’s clean.” Cyborg ran his checks on the man. “He’s a boy scout. Half of all the footage I have found — and I mean exactly half — shows him rescuing cats from trees or helping little old ladies cross the road while carrying groceries for them.”

“Cast your votes,” Batman ordered. “Do we want Captain Marvel to be a member of the Justice League?”

*

The decision was unanimous. Captain Marvel has a place in the Justice League, that is, if he wants it. With his power set, he would be a valuable asset to the team. All appearances of the new hero have shown that he is one of the good guys.

“I’ll ask him,” Superman volunteered. He was dying to meet the new guy. He had to be a fellow Kryptonian. Though he must have a chat with The Captain about Bat-paranoia, to hide how much Kryptonians can really do. Otherwise Bats might break out his Kryptonite stores to hit them both.

For example, while pushing a titanic star, for goodness sake, please make it look a lot more challenging.

According to Cyborg, Captain Marvel would appear in Fawcett right after a massive lightning strike from the clear, cloudless sky. The hero tended to patrol Fawcett for an hour before seven in the morning and for an hour after three in the afternoon on weekdays. His schedule was more unpredictable during the weekends. 

Clark was a reporter. 

Could The Captain be an elementary school teacher in his civilian identity?

It was a quarter past three on a Wednesday afternoon. Superman hovered four hundred feet above Fawcett’s busiest square, drawing a curious crowd while he waited for Captain Marvel to make his appearance.

Lightning struck an alley near a local elementary school.

“S-superman!” Captain Marvel hovered in front of him. 

The man’s brilliant blue eyes brimmed with excitement as he stared at Superman with an open-mouthed grin. 

“What brings you to Fawcett?” The Captain’s cheeks flushed as he stiffened, arms crossing his heavily muscled chest. If Superman didn’t know any better, he’d think Captain Marvel was starstruck.

“Captain Marvel,” Superman began, feeling a little self conscious.“I come on behalf of the Justice League. We’ve seen what you can do and want you to join our team.”

“You want me to join the Justice League?” The big guy was practically bouncing with excitement. If he were a golden retriever with a tail, he’d be wagging it.

Just as abruptly, he looked down, slouching as if trying to shrink his large frame. “But isn’t there an age limit to join the League?”

“We don’t discriminate against anyone based on their ages.” 

Superman whispered conspiratorially. “I don’t even know how old I was when my ship landed on earth. For all you know, it could have taken lightyears to get here.”

“Hmm,” Captain Marvel rubbed the back of his neck. “If you say so.”

“Take your time to think about it,” Superman handed him a League communicator. “This is for you. If you want to talk to us, just press this button,” he showed The Captain how to use the device.

“For me?” The guy looked as excited as a kid who had received a shiny new toy. 

“Yes, for you,” Superman replied. “Call us when you’ve decided.”

“I want in,” Captain looked up, grinning from ear to ear.

“Then, welcome to the Justice League!” Superman shook his hand. “Come with me to our headquarters.”

*

The flight to the Justice League’s Headquarters with Superman was fun. 

That giant satellite that Cap often flew past when he left earth’s atmosphere was the Justice League’s Watchtower -  a secret meeting place for Justice League members.

Billy was flying with Superman. 

Elated.

The SUPERMAN!

How cool was that?

His hero was a lot chattier in person. 

Superman talked about Krypton, his home world. His dad uploaded all Krypton’s history and knowledge into the A.I. of the spaceship that brought Kal-el to earth. 

Kal-el was Superman’s birth name.

“What’s your birth name?” Superman asked?

“William,” Cap replied.

“Wil-em,” Superman looked deep in thought. 

“The Ems — I think I know your bloodline.”

“You do?” The thought that Superman even cared about Billy’s family warmed him like a cup of hot chocolate. But as far as Billy knew, he was a Batson, not an Em. He was four when he lost his family. It’s been three years since. His memories of Daddy, Mummy and Mary were beginning to fade.

“Come with me to my Fortress of Solitude after your induction and I’ll show you Krypton’s records about the Ems,” Superman grinned as he tapped on the satellite.

A panel slid open.

“Where is it?” Cap asked as he flew into the airlock.

“In the Arctic,” he accompanied Cap in the dock.

“Are there polar bears?” Cap felt giddy with excitement.

“Plenty,” Superman laughed as he walked Cap through the massive hall. It was like nothing Billy had ever seen. 

“I can introduce you to a family of friendly bears,” Superman grinned.

“I would love that,” Billy’s heart did flip flops over the thought of getting to meet polar bears who were friends with Superman. Cap could speak all languages. He’d have a great time chatting with Superman’s bear buddies.

“Holy Moley,” Captain Marvel exclaimed as he walked through the security checkpoint. The doorway opened into futuristic corridor with interactive walls and holographic displays. 

Announcing the arrival of Superman and his guest Captain Marvel, a tinny voice rang out.

“Brace yourself,” Superman whispered. “The rest of the League is waiting for us in the meeting room.”

A metallic panel slid open revealing a grand meeting room. Batman sat at the head of the long table. Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Cyborg and Aquaman sat around it. There were two empty seats.

All eyes were on Captain Marvel.

“Holy Moley,” Cap whispered. He couldn’t help himself. It’s a bad habit he picked up from his late father.

“Guys,” Superman announced. “Captain Marvel has agreed to join the Justice League.”

The room broke into applause.

“Welcome to the team,” Flash whooped.

“Let’s celebrate,” Aquaman tilted a large bottle of whiskey, filled a glass and slid it across the table to Captain Marvel.

Cap looked at the glass in front of him and back at Aquaman. “Isn’t there an age limit?”

[viasdreams]

Nightwalker ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ~ what if she wants to peg you?

you anxiously scratched at the scar on your hand while waiting for hyuck to arrive. your anxiety over this entire situation caused you to leave for your agreed meeting spot, the park, a whole thirty minutes early. a part of you wanted to be able to get comfortable with your surroundings for a bit before he showed, (you were anything but comfortable at the moment, but it was worth a shot) and another wanted to scope out a bench next to a trashcan just in case your nerves made you throw up.

in your head, you ran through all the possible ways this conversation could go. best case scenario, he takes everything really well and you guys remain good friends. worst case scenario, both of you end up doubled over your meticulously chosen trashcan, fighting to not puke on the other. you weren't sure how that would ever actually happen, but then again you were here to end things with your almost vampire boyfriend, so clearly the world likes to fuck with you.

you stared into the trees as you thought some more, the scratching becoming more fervent by the second when a cold hand grabbed your wrist.

hyuck.

he gave you a small smile, placing your hand on the bench away from the other as he sat.

you kept your gaze trained in front of you, you couldn't look at him if you tried.

his presence was overwhelming. you could handle him over text or in your head, but being with him was different. none of your scenarios account for the intense wave of emotions you were going to feel.

"sorry to just grab you like that, i know that was a weird way to say hello." hyuck let out a small laugh as he spoke but it quickly faded when he saw your stiff demeanor and a deafening silence fell over the two of you.

your mind raced, struggling to work through the fog caused by the boy to your left. you must have been stuck like this for quite a while because it wasn't until he cleared his throat that you realized he was waiting for you to speak first.

"hi," you mumbled, still refusing to look at him.

"hi," hyuck replied, concern bleeding through his tone.

you took a deep breath, deciding that you could no longer prolong the inevitable.

"i'm going to explain everything, no more lies or secrets, but i need you to not say anything until i'm done."

your words came out quickly, you weren't sure if hyuck even understood any of it. this idea was further supported by his lack of a response.

slowly, you turned to face him, "is that okay?"

hyuck blankly gazed back at you, an expression that caught you extremely off guard.

maybe he really didn't hear you.

"hyuck is that okay?" you repeated.

a slight smug look crossed his face, "oh, i can respond to that?"

you suppressed an eye-roll as you answered, "yes, you can respond to that."

"phew okay, yeah thats cool. tell me whatever you need to, i'll listen." he gave you a sad but reassuring smile as he spoke.

you returned the smile, "thank you."

the mood between you was much lighter after your exchange and you felt bad that you were about to ruin it. it might be the last time you were ever on somewhat good terms with him and you couldn't even soak it in properly.

but you promised to tell him everything.

and so you do.

you tell him how much fun you were having with him the past month and about how much you like him.

you tell him about realizing the reality of his immorality and how your own immortality is what caused you to freak out.

you tell him why you lied about being home and about your inability to face this issue.

you tell him about your conversation with renjun.

and you tell him that things can't continue with him.

true to his word, hyuck doesn't interrupt you once. he barely even reacts outside of moving your hand back down after you mindlessly start scratching it again.

you fall back into silence while you wait for him to say something. the post confession relief is actually rather nice, so you don't mind the quiet too much this time. you almost get lost in it when hyuck's voice pulls you back.

"did i ever tell you how i became a vampire?"

that was not at all what you were expecting him to say. in your head, he usually responded with something along the lines of "i totally understand yn, i forgive you", or "you're mortal scum, i hate you". this was something you didn't plan for.

"i uh-", you stuttered while you tried to recall, "i don't think so, no."

hyuck hummed softly, "it was back in early august. mark and i had been friends since we were teenagers, really good friends at that. one day i walked into his apartment and saw him sucking the throat of a squirrel in an almost animalistic craze. turns out he hadn't eaten in a few days and forgot i was coming over."

"wait," you interruppted, "how did you not know something was off about him if you were friends for years. he doesn't age, did you not find it weird that he looked twenty-five at fifteen?"

he shook his head and laughed, "well i always knew he was a little older than me, and he was the only canadian person i knew so i thought all people from canada were just fast developers. plus he has a young face, he could mostly pass for eighteen." he punctuated his sentence with a shrug before continuing.

"mark explained everything to me, but all i remember getting out of it was that he could turn me. i begged him to make me like him. i think i even got on my knees and kissed his feet at one point, i wanted it that bad. he tried to get me to at least sleep on the decision, but my heart was set. i needed to be a vampire."

"did you have any doubts?" you asked.

hyuck exaggeratedly exhaled, "of course not."

your eyebrows knitted together. how did he not struggle with the same decision you were killing yourself over? how was it so easy for him?

"do you regret it?" you finally ask.

"well i have a lot of regrets, yeah," he sighed, "for starters, i have to live on the same earth as jaemin until the sun explodes."

you laugh at his complaint and he smiles back at you.

"i also really miss getting drunk, like really, really miss it." he dramatically throws his head back for emphasis.

"did we ever try drinking my blood while i was drunk to see if it gets you drunk?"

"you tried to get me to do that but i just kissed you instead remember," hyuck said, shyly. if he could blush, you're sure his face would be red.

"right," you replied. although most of that night was hazy, the memory of his lips was perfectly clear.

a few moments passed before he spoke again, "i don't regret it though, becoming a vampire i mean. i wouldn't have met you if i was still human."

you could feel the heat in your cheeks intensify. why was he making this so complicated?

"yn?"

"yeah?"

"i'm going to say something but you can't say anything while i do, is that okay?"

avoiding the earlier issue with this question, you nod.

hyuck stared into your eyes, seemingly unsure if he should actually go forward with what he wanted to say.

"i don't know what I'm doing," he laments after a while.

"i'm new to all of this, vampirism and relationships. i know it's hard to believe but i've never been huge with the ladies."

despite your efforts to fight it, your lips curl up slightly at his statement.

"okay maybe it's not that hard to believe, but still. what i'm trying to say is don't stress so much about not knowing what to do because i'm right there with you. there's only one thing i'm sure about right now."

you look at him expectantly.

he moved his hand to yours, intertwining his fingers with yours before proceeding.

"i'm sure that i love you yn."

before you could fully react to his confession, hyuck lets go of your hand and is doubled over with the balls of his hands pressed into his eyes.

"are you ok?" you ask, bending down to be level with his face.

holding his hand out, he replies, "yeah im good, i just can't believe i said it like that, that was so cringe oh my god. it was way cooler in my head i swear."

you giggle at his embarrassment, lightly swatting at his hand.

"you're always cringe hyuck."

he sits back up, "maybe i am, but you like it."

"yeah, maybe i do." you say, a hint of sadness in your voice.

"i meant it though, i love you yn. and i know that probably doesn't change anything but i just wanted you to know."

tears suddenly prick at the corners of your eyes. it suddenly felt like you were making the wrong decision.

"whatever you choose, i'll support you okay? as long as you're happy, that's all i want."

his eyes betrayed his words, they were pleading with you, begging you not to leave.

"hyuck," you paused, trying not to choke on your words, "i love you too. i want to be with you so badly but i'm scared. what happens to us if i don't want to turn? what happens if i turn and then regret it, i don't want to do that to you."

"we'll figure it out. this isn't something we need to know now, we're still young, we have time." hyuck pulled you into his chest, rubbing small circles on your back.

"you're always going to be young though, that's the issue," you muttered into his jacket.

"yeah, physically speaking, i'll always be a hot young stud, but i'll grow emotionally. look at mark, he's ninety-four and he sure fucking acts like it sometimes. i'm sure i'll start behaving more mature like eventually too."

hyuck pulled you back by your shoulders to look at you.

"yn, i want to be with you. even if you someday realize you don't want to be with me, and its only a for a short time, i still want it. i want to figure this out with you, if that's what you want."

he gently wipes the few tears that fell off your cheeks.

"i want that too hyuck." you nod, leaning into his touch.

"yeah?" his eyes search your face for any doubts.

he doesn't find any.

"yeah."

he lets out the biggest sigh of relief you've ever heard.

"oh thank god, i was so scared you were going to say no and that things were going to be so weird and awkward. bless up, this is awesome!" he starts pumping his hands into the air in celebration.

"hyuck you're supposed to kiss me now," you say impatiently.

his celebration stop as quickly as it started, "oh shit, right, my bad."

he places one hand on the back of your neck and the other back on your cheek as he pulls you in.

as you fall into the kiss, your mortality worries seem far away and all you can feel is him.

and his lips are warmer than you remember.

previous ~ masterlist ~ next

a/n: fought for my life while writing this chpt, i hope yall like it! soz for any mistakes >_< next chpt is for real the last chapter of the main story (wink wink)

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[izzi-illustrates]

I have become more insane: I've extended the Farseer family tree up to the end of The Tawny Man trilogy.

(original version here)

It got a wee bit messy; design choices and spoilers below the cut.

PHEW.

First: Dutiful came out looking both like Fitz and Kettricken, but also a little like Regal, which was an unexpected but not unwanted development. Dutiful's parentage is muddier and more complicated than I've drawn it (this being an "official" family tree) but since I personally feel Verity is Dutiful's father in ways that matter more to me, I made sure he had Verity's nose - the Farseer nose - and his big dark eyes.

I spent longer on Elliania, drawing from archival photographs of young inuit women, and deliberately using cooler browns for her hair and skin than the warmer Farseer colouring to distinguish her. The Farseers are distantly related to the Outislanders, but they've also intermingled for generations with other Duchy folk, and I wanted to distinguish Elliania's look and style significantly enough that she'd stand out; I think I succeeded.

And then there's Molly's marriage to Burrich... Burrich is such an important character to me personally, and his connection to King-in-Waiting Chivalry so important to the story, (with his raising of Nettle also being key to the story) that it felt wrong not to include him, and his and Molly's sons, in this tree, even if they're none of them Farseers.

I had fun thinking about who would take more after Burrich or more after Molly, and settled on most of the boys taking strongly after Burrich, with Chiv being the most like his father in looks (down to being in the process of growing his hair out in baby locs), the twins having the greatest mix of both parents, but all the boys having Molly's hairline, even if their curl texture isn't hers. I gave Just her hair colour because I don't care that red hair is a recessive gene; this is fantasy and I'm having fun. I also gave Nettle her mother's "surname" (since Nettle remarks that her mother wants her to learn her trade) and the boys are all Burrichson except Swift, who chooses to go by Swift Witted for most of his book appearances so far.*

Nettle is as clean a combination of Molly and Fitz as I could make, taking after her mother in colouring and brows, but taking after Fitz in her chin and eyes. I also deliberately gave her Chivalry's nose, since Fitz's is the product of a severe break.

*If I make a further family tree up to the end of The Fitz and The Fool trilogy, I'll probably name Nettle as Nettle Skillmistress or Nettle Farseer. Similarly, I named Hap as Mishap Badgerlockson, but he'd be Hap Gladheart by the end of the RotE series.

[whitejays-galaxy]

Ahsoka redesign for my cat au

Concept art(Rebels timeline)

Finally some Ahsoka content on my blog *phew*

She's my fave SW character but I feel like I don't draw her much these days lol

I gave her a redesign because I found some issues in her old one

If I had kept the Lekku hanging down her shoulders, it would be in the way of her paws if she sprints(that does not make sense since Togrutas are skilled hunters and live in thick forest territory where there are many obstacles such as trees and brambles)

So in my AU, the Togruta cats' Lekku evolved into their front paws, making them sensitive to touch(they can feel the slightest vibrations from the ground like snakes do)

Her old design is no longer canon in my Warriorcats AU

See you guys in weeks with Shaak Ti's design and Aayla's(redesign)

More of my Au

[milkamel]

Sis y'know I kinda wanna brighten your mood so pls yap bout your ShadowVanilla hcs :3 (love it when u do so ngl)

(also rate this pic pls,,, is it canon to our rp??)

Omg bro I literally love you so much I can't describe that with words <3 Thank you for granting me this opportunity it won't go to waste let me write a list of headcanons that spawned in my head/I accidentally borrowed from other people fhgfhjgjhgf

A lot of text ahead, you have been warned

When it comes to pet names PV either calls Smilk by his name or uses gentle names like 'sweetheart' or 'bluebird' (due to his love for those birds too), while Smilk prefers to just use nicknames like 'Nilly', 'Vanilly', 'Nilla', etc because they feel more..personal and original I guess?

PV has much more relationship experience while Smilk has.. none, since before the corruption he was focused on his duty as the Fount of Knowledge and didn't have an opportunity to connect with someone and after that he was stuck in a tree for all those years and PV had a few crushes or relationships before;

PV is taller than SMilk (not by a lot, but enough to notice) so Smilk prefers to float and hide that embarrassing fact. PV definitely knows but doesn't call him out on it;

At first Smilk saw PV's compassion as weakness and naivety but gradually post-redemption changed his point of view and he started to see it as a strength because no matter what PV stood by his ideals no matter how much he got hurt. It's hard not to resent someone to hurt you and find the strength to understand and forgive;

Despite being incredibly smart and wise Smilk's knowledge on some things is a bit outdated. Pure Vanilla tries his best to help and update him on some information even if he struggles sometimes as well (they're both old af, they will never catch up to the modern slang I fear);

PV always has warm hands and Smilk's are always cold. When they cuddle it's a perfect balance;

Smilk is very clingy and needy though he'd never admit that out loud but PV understands what he needs without words and makes sure to spend a lot of time together even if it's something tiny. He makes sure to keep his promise and don't leave SMilk on his own for a long time;

They occasionally read together, though it's more of Smilk reading out loud and PV listening to his voice. It reminds Smilk of the days he used to do lectures but in Pure Vanilla's company it's comforting, he lets his old 'scholar' persona slip;

PV tends to overwork himself/hide his issues and Smilk frequently calls him out on that and makes sure he eats and sleeps while denying that he cares about him;

Smilk struggles with emotions and showing affection and sometimes doesn't fully realize that what he's doing is wrong and toxic due to isolation and his shaky mental state. The best example of that is with his treatment of Truthless Recluse I guess;

Okay so that's all for now I can't think of more stuff- phew once again ty for letting me yap <3

(yes, sadly, that pic is canon to our rp- ..what about the sprite I made? Tell me in dms :) )

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 807: Kyofushi's giant attack

Pag 1

2: Every-

6: -one... is here....

Pag 2

1: Where are you going!!

Pag 3

1: Waaaaaa

Pag 4

1: Hiiiii

4: Ah, ah, what.... what the hell is going on!?

I felt like I was licked by the giant tongue... of a giant body!!

Pag 5

1: Hii.... Higashimura-san, what's with this guy

He should just be catching up normally, but he looks huge, abnormally huge... he looks like he's getting closer....

2: and knocking down the trees around him!!

3: Gr....

Pag 6

1: oooss!!

Waaaaaaa

That's his pressure!? He looks so big because of his pressure!? Higashimura-san!!

2: All the times I've ran in the Inter High before we made a deal to cooperate....

Pag 7

1: This is... the real.... form of Kyofushi's Midosuji!!

3: Here

4: Do you wanna eat? You look very hungry

5: Kakaka, Hiroshima-san got surprised!! Is it the first time for you?

Pag 8

1: Where are you going!?

To have a picnic?

2: The fastest, flashy, full-throttle picnic at the gate where the victory feast is served!!

3: That's funny, puku

Don't play dumb!!

4: This is what you been aiming for from the start, tearing off everyone behind!!

You're drooling!! You can't hold back!!

5: Puku, I'm that easy to read? So should I

Pag 9

1: do it?

Of course!!

2: They collided!!

Sohoku isn't shaken by Midosuji's pressure!!

What's with that red little guy!!

3: Puku!!

Kakaka

4: The red little guy isn't budging at all!!

Pag 10

1: Oruaaaaaa

Gross gross gross gross gross!!

2: But before that

3: Puah?

4: The one who's clinging behind you

Pag 11

1: Introduce that huge guy!!

Mi!!

2: It's funnier if we know all the members going to the picnic, after all!!

3: Kyofushi lost Kishigami because of a flat tire

Still, they're not worried about it

4: As expected, this means they have a second plan

5: Number 46, first year...

6: Even though I saw the list before the start

7: Unknown background and unknown experience, 175cm of height and 82kg of weight...

Pag 12

1: Physically, he's the perfect power player!!

Mi!!

His name is Hacchoubori..... kun

2: Komari-kun suddenly brought him one day

It's my launching pad, you know!?

3: This is the lead, mi?

Yeah...

Here is before the finish line... mi?

4: Yeah...

Pag 13

1: If we pass all these guys we win? Mi?

Yeah!!

5: Doesn't look possible...

Mi!!

6: Puku, but there are 9km left....

From here on...

Pag 14

1: We'll enter the long downhill towards the sea, right!?

Pag 15

1: Ohou!!

2: Ohhhh

3: Downhills are fun!!

4: So fast!

They looked like motorbikes!!

The cyclists are entering the downhill one by one!!

There are four teams, Kyofushi, Hakogaku, Sohoku, and Hiroshima!!

Pag 16

1: Ugh!!

They're leaving us behind on the downhill!?

2: The difference in weight is more evident during downhill races!!

Pedal, Ninoshima!! Kyofushi's first year is fast!!

Yeah!!

3: “Four teams”.... it's a pity, but... puku

That's not true

4: Huh!?

Pag 17

1: There's one more team chasing the lead that's entering the downhill!!

What

2: They intend to catch up on the downhill!?

4: Fr... from behind!?

It's pressure again!!

5: They're coming

6: Phew

7: There was no way he wouldn't come...

Pag 18

1: The man who wants the crown the most!!

Pag 19

1: Gunma Ryosei's Kiji Kyuui!!

Yon

2: Gunma-san, who had fallen behind, appears!!

3: Looks like he's not satisfied with just the sprint!!

4: E... even more people!!

5: You want MTB.... you want road racing too...

Pag 20

1: You're greedy like no one else!!

Kiji Kyuuuuui!!

2: It really doesn't fit with my values

3: I'm free to accept challenges, am I not?

4: ou don't have many friends, do you?

5: Only a selected few

Pag 21

2: Even Gunma...

Everyone is here...!!

3: I think....!! These are all the

4: “Five teams”

Ten people...!!

Pag 22

1: These are all the jerseys that.... will aim for the Inter High's first day's finish line!!

[a-leg-without-fear]

Entre, Rouge🩸🔥

this is very silly

Ship: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader 🩸

Rating: 18+

Wordcount: 666

Warnings: story is told from Wade's perspective. need i say more?

Phew!

Okay, that last Wolverine didn’t quite work out. Several stab wounds in the shape of adamantium kebabs aside, I just wasn’t a fan of his vibe. The puffy hair, the leather ensemble, and the missing hand? No thank you. I’d like an intact Wolverine with access to a shower and a hairbrush to help repair my universe.

I sat on the log I once shared with the extremely-departed Logan. Lots of blood and guts spilled everywhere, pieces of TVA agents and metal bones strewn about the snow, thick snowflakes falling through the naked trees and onto my illustrious red suit.

Oh, I should probably introduce myself.

The name’s Wilson. 

Wade Wilson. 

Wade Winston Wilson. 

Doctor… Esquire. 

Also known as the ever sexy and permanently alive Deadpool. Sure, I look like the gum-covered underside of a highschool desk, but it doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop in my quest to fix my universe and save my friends. Like Lancelot and his Holy Grail, I’m going to find a Logan and shove him into my timeline until he fits. Or do whatever happens in that story.

The little dimension doohickey I nabbed from discount Mr.Darcy sat in my gloved hand. Lots of retro graphics and shiny buttons made it look like a flip phone, but fancier. I was scrolling through universes to try and find my next target.

“420? No, I don’t think I want pothead Logan. 69? Now that’s just too obvious,” I muttered with a laugh while flipping through universes. The numbers scrolled by like etch-a-sketched fruit in a slot machine. Except without the pants-tightening excitement of winning a jackpot.

My yearning for walking through rows of old geezers sitting in their own piss puddles while mindlessly playing the slots was overtaken by a fascination in the universe that filled the screen. Confetti exploded in my head like an edged bottom who’d held out as long as he could.

“Bingo!” I said, jumping up from my spot on the crumbling log. My fabulous boots made a nice crunching sound as I walked through blood-stained snow.

Earth-80085.

The Legiverse.

A universe filled to the brim with horror, trauma, copious sex scenes, and hyperfixations switching faster than Nosferatu fiddling with his light switch. You know the one.

I jammed the “go” button on the doohickey and a huge portal appeared in front of me. Orange, glowey, translucent, door shaped. Kinda looked like jello if you squinted.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked myself, naïvely, “I’ll get burst like a blood-filled water balloon by Leg’s OC of the week? Nah, she wouldn’t do me like that.”

Taking in one last chilly breath of determination, I skipped through the portal.

What I was not expecting to step into was a bedroom.

Pale green curtains blocking out any sunlight, wooden walls with cutesy pictures, cat towers and toys scattered on the carpeted floor. And…

Is that… moaning?

My head whipped in the direction of that delicious sound. Rumpled and soaked sheets, wooden headboard slamming into the wall behind it, bed creaking under the rapid movement.

And there, tangled together in the way God definitely didn’t intend, were you and Logan. Him driving into you, toned abs flexing with each thrust and fluffy hair bouncing, with you squirming and moaning beneath him. Logan’s rough hands felt along your lucky hips.

“Damn,” I whispered. Why did you get to have all the fun? Can’t I get a little Lo-Lo action?

I hung my head, disappointed, as I pressed the “leave” button on the doohickey. It wasn’t fair! Readers get to fuck whoever they want, however they want, whenever they want. They even fuck me on a regular basis! And where does that leave poor Deadpool? Either in another fanfiction or taking care of myself the ol’ fashioned way.

Ignoring the growing discomfort in my rather-flattering pants, I stepped back through the stupid doorway to continue my search.

Why are all the good ones fucking, crucified, killing me, or Henry Cavill?

i got drunk and watched the third "night at the museum." this popped in my head while watching hugh be a silly man

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[sosa2imagines]

Favor!

Warnings- Oral, male receiving, fluff.

You and Bucky have been dating for almost one year now.

You two had hit it off right after, Bucky had bumped into you at the local grocery shop. It took time for the metal arm solider to open up to you. But your kindness, your beauty and the way you were so comfortable with him, brought him much closer to you.

You understood his job and how he would be absent, for day, weeks and even months for saving the world. But you never complained and Bucky had requested Tony to build him a phone which would be untraceable for even the number one hacker in the world, just so he can stay in touch with you.

After the missions he would straightaway head home to you, burying his head in your chest, holding you tight.

Everyone in the compound loved you. Hence when Bucky asked for a leave, everyone was more than happy to grant him, for as long as he wished.

So here you are in a secluded cabin, surrounded by trees, beautiful sky and a lake nearby. The moment you both had entered the cabin, Bucky jumped on you, taking you instantly, making you come at least four times.

The next day….

The two were now by the lake, enjoying the scenery and the water. Your hair was softly blowing in the wind as you two stood close to each other.

You hand gently grabbed Bucky's hand, your fingers interlocking with his fingers, as you both held hands and stroll next to the lake. The gentle breeze made your hair blow in the wind and Bucky was enjoying having you close to him like this.

 The lake provided a soothing vibe as well as the breeze and Bucky's gentle presence was relaxing to you. You held Bucky's hand closely as you looked at the reflection of you two in the lake.

As you both went little ahead on your stroll, there was a pit which was covered by leaves that was barely visible, as soon as you put your foot on it, you fell down, your hair had few leaves stuck to it.

It took Bucky exactly three seconds to realize you are not next to him. “Doll?”

“Down here!”

Bucky looked down and gasp “Doll, how did you?” before he could complete his concern, he burst out laughing at how cute you look down there, covered in leaves.

“Very funny Buchanan, help me.”

“Alright, alright phew sorry doll” He tried to compose himself, but failed miserably. He gave you his hand, but his face was filled with mischievousness and delight as your hands hold on to his, he was loving every single minute of it.

“Help me Buck!”

Bucky had a mischievous look on his face. He had plans for you now. The sight of you down there, painted a different picture in his head. “I’m not helping you unless you do something for me.”

You knew by the look on his face, he was up to something, seeing him distracted, you managed to pull him down in the pit next to you. “You were saying something?” you tease him, covering him with leaves.

"Hey!" He said back as you covered him with leaves. This was a lot more than he expected from you. “I’ll help you, if you do something for me” you mocked him, making him roll his eyes playfully.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” You ask playfully, happy to have him down here with you. "Oh it feels good, alright!" He exclaimed as he spoke in response, his tone now playful again.

“Now how do you plan to get us out of here?” "Oh I wasn't really thinking about getting us out of it..." He spoke playfully, and this was the truth. If it was up to him, he would be in this pit with you forever. But then he had the audacity to say "Besides, you were the one who got us into this." He was teasing you now.

“Me? I fell in here and you refused to help! The audacity!” "Yeah, you. The audacity of you for even questioning it, actually." Bucky replied back, his tone still playful and joking.

“You look handsome in this pit, covered in leaves.” "And you look beautiful all covered in it too." He replied back affectionately, his tone was flirtatious, affectionate and playful.

“Thank you” you smiled at him. He smirked as he spoke, before adding, "Now that we've established that we look good covered in leaves, let's get out of it, don't you think?" “Finally, yes please.!”

"Not so quickly. You got to do something for me first?" “What am I supposed to do in this pit?”

He laughed as you asked this, "Something that involves you using your mouth." He spoke flirtatiously, and this was all he was going to say for now though. He waited to see how you would react to his reply. “Are you asking for a kiss or is it something that I think it is?”

You were right on the money with your second guess, because that was the one thing, he was going to demand from you now, as he nodded his head. He wasn't going to just let you out that easily. You had to do something for him first, before he ever would let you out of the pit.

“In this this pit?” He nods in confirmation, “Are you serious?” he nods again.

“Right here right now, I’m serious doll.” Bucky smirked, he knew you would not say no, not because of the situation, but because you loved to do that to him and it was the truth. When Bucky asked you to blow him, you were turned on, your mind was quickly on the pervert mode.

You got down on your knees, unbuckling his pants, getting his boxers down, his length big and hard ready and waiting for you, pre-cum leaking. You run your fingers on his length, before cupping his balls, earning a groan from him. Your tongue traces the vein, as you slowly take him in.

Bucky was now getting exactly what he asked for from you, as you obeyed his request, and it was wonderful. He was enjoying this so much, and he had the urge to push your head even further onto his length than you currently were. But he held himself back, even though his grasp on your head remained strong.

He smiled as he was getting exactly what he wanted. He was enjoying having his wish fulfilled. He started to use little force and moves his dick more inside your mouth, the warmth making him to throw his head back.

Your hands grab his thighs, as you take his cock all the way in, down your throat, gagging slightly making him moan. “Good girl, taking me all in, that’s my doll.” He praises you, as he closes his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

You go move along his cock back and forth, twirling your tongue just the way he likes it, at a very good pace, taking him on a ride, drawing the animal out of him. But then you decide to be little mischievous, you go down on him very, very slow.

He was quite surprised by this, he opens his eyes and his jaw dropped open slightly as you teased him here; he had expected to dominate you, but now you were slowly teasing him.

You were making the process slowly painful for him here, and he wasn't sure how to feel about this development. His grip on you got tighter however, as he continued to move your head, you pulled and looked at him innocently, “Any problem?”

He remained silent as he was trying to get a hold of himself once more. Finally, he spoke up again, his voice sounding more frustrated. "No, there is no problem." “So, you don’t mind... if I go slow?” you tease him innocently. "Oh no, I don't mind it at all…" He paused as he spoke again, “But couldn't you go a little bit faster?" He gave you the angry puppy dog look to which you could not say no to.

You happily took him faster this time, sparing him from the teasing. He was caught off guard by how fast you suddenly moved, he was surprised because you went from going slow and teasing him to suddenly moving fast on him.

But he did enjoy the sudden difference though, and he even gave out a soft moan here and there. He gripped your hair more tightly now that you were going faster. He was enjoying this so much, and he was enjoying the fact that he was finally receiving something that he wanted from you.

"Yeah, that's it... that's it... Oh, god, yes keep going just like that" He groaned in pleasure now. He was finally being satisfied now, and it just made everything so much more amazing for him.

"Keep doing it, just like that… oh, god…That's it, I" He kept moaning, as you were now going so fast and it felt amazing for him.

"Yes... don't stop... just keep going" He kept urging to you. You moaned, your face muscles were burning and cramped. He gripped your hair more tightly now, he was enjoying this so much, he moaned more and more. You could swear on Tony’s money, you heard him cry in pleasure.

"Keep going... don't stop... I'm so close" You know what you were doing, you were proud of the fact that it was you making him feel good. You kept using your mouth and hands to give him pleasure. He got so close to the edge. Everything started to rise up now as you were getting extremely aroused and wet now.

"Oh, yes just like that!" He kept moaning as you were going faster and faster. Everything now with your mouth felt incredible, and he was enjoying every second. This was exactly what he had asked for.

"Exactly like that, oh, god don't stop... keep going... I'm almost there" He groans as he was so close now, and he was enjoying the sensation of it all so much. This was exactly how he had wanted it to be, and he was enjoying every second of it. "Oh close... so close " Bucky was close to the edge, and you kept going at this, pushing him there.

Just when you twirl your tongue, he holds you in place, you feel him throb in your mouth, depositing his hot cum straight down your throat. He stayed in for a bit, as he found his release, he gave out a soft moan. It felt so good being released, and the tension was just too much that he couldn't hold on anymore. He was released, and he breathed slowly as the good feeling went through him.

You swallowed his cum, licking your lips clean, and that alone made him blush.

"That was..." He was breathing slowly, trying to stop himself from moaning too much. The sensation he had felt was incredible. You waved your hand, unable to talk.

You both relaxed in the pit, catching your breath. “Are you okay, doll?” Bucky holds you in his arms, caressing your hair, his cool metal arm, making you feel good. “Yes... I’m okay… that was” “I know doll” he chuckles, kissing your head.

Few more minutes later, after you both were back to normal “So, ever planning to get us out of here?” “Oh, right!” He remembered where you both were now. He was so focused on you, he had completely forgotten about the pit. Bucky helped you get out first, pushing you up, making sure to keep his hands longer on your butt, squeezing them firm, as he finally came out to, without any problem.

“So… how about I return the favor?” He winks at you, throwing you over his shoulder, taking long strides towards the cabin.

[dehydrated-turtle]

Morning Wood

//warnings// nsfw, 16+, mdni

//contents// Dick Grayson x transmasc!reader, fluffy, smut

//synopsis// how does morning wood lead to pussy eating? i guess that's just what gets dick off - wc: 1.6k

//on ao3//

The morning is golden, shimmering and dancing between the leaves on the trees, spilling through the glass of your bedroom window. Light dancing around the room and over your face as you start to stir. The lush greenery glowing in through the window and the robins chirping away as spring blooms outside. Your whole body comes to realization and consciousness in a couple of minutes. You feel an arm around your waist that comes up to meet your hand, fingers intertwined. You can feel the warm breath of your boyfriend, Dick Grayson along your neck, his nose nuzzled into you. 

You start to feel Dick move and hear the duvet shuffle as well as a groan that comes from his mouth that sounds suspiciously like a moan. He presses his hips into your back lightly and you feel his hard on, throbbing against your ass. His hand tightens around yours as his hips start to move lazily. Soft little moans spill from his throat as he keeps rolling into your back, sound asleep. You don’t really want him to stop because it’s really cute but you can tell he needs more and you’re already awake so might as well help the poor guy. 

“Dick…” you whisper, shaking his shoulder lightly, trying to wake him. 

“Hm?” He groaned, opening his eyes slowly. 

“You need some help there, bud?” 

“What… oh um…” he starts to go red as his eyes struggle to open and he avoids eye contact which earns a smile from you. 

“It’s ok, honey. Let me help.” 

“Hm, you’re too good to me…” He whispers as he cups your cheek with his hand and takes your lips into a soft and sensuous kiss, breathing against your face. Your hand travels to his waist, luring him toward you. You pull him, lightly, on top of you as you slip your tongue past his lips. He grants it entry with a low moan and earns a rolling of his hips. He’s rutting into your thigh now, you can feel his cock throbbing against your skin. The PJ shorts you are wearing have been pushed all the way up to your hips. 

“I have a fantastic idea…” he whispered into the crook of your neck. 

“Hm, and what would that be?” 

“You’ll see.” 

He started to shimmy his way down, pulling the duvet over his head, disappearing into the sea of sheets. You could feel him pull down your shorts and slip them off, discarding them somewhere under the covers. The anticipation is bubbling because you can’t see what he’s about to do. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, just waiting to see what he’s going to do. Or rather not see. 

You jump slightly when you feel a soft kiss on your inner thigh, a line of them being created, coming closer to your heat. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your thigh, taking a large inhale, taking in your smell before carefully placing a sweet kiss directly on your growth earning a light moan from you. 

“Please…” you whisper, unsure if he can even hear you. 

A hand presses against your thigh, pushing it open and massaging the flesh gently. You can feel his breath against your folds, laughing as he watches you clench around nothing before licking a long stripe right through the slick. You let out a loud moan and throw your head back as the unexpected sensation renders you speechless. He starts sucking on your growth which has gotten hard with all the anticipation, his head bobbing up and down ever so slightly which you can see through the settled blankets. 

A sudden lack of sensation has you worried and more so confused before Dick lifts the duvet over his head, revealing his dazed, still half asleep face, panting just a tad. 

“Phew, it was getting hot in there!” he remarked before diving right back in. 

Now being able to see his hair laying perfectly, just resting on your pelvic bone, has you moaning beyond belief. You reach your hand down and tangle your fingers into his hair, pushing him further down. He flattens his tongue, flush onto your clit, looking up at you with a smile and satisfaction. You whine at the sight, god, if only he knew what he did to you. You moan, gutturally, throwing your head back as he starts sucking again. 

With your head back you couldn’t see his hand move towards your hole and slip a digit in, curling it up. Your thighs close around his head briefly in response to the unexpected panging in your lower abdomen. He pumps in and out a couple of times before sliding his ring finger in, leaving them inside and curling them up repeatedly. The recurring sensation hitting your g-spot makes the heat boil over. 

“Fuck… Dick, I-I’m cumming…” you whisper, unable to speak any louder, panting from the stimulation. 

All he does is hum against your clit, sending vibrations through your entire body. That finally pushes you over the edge, squeezing around his fingers and thighs shaking around his head, keeping him in place. He continues to lick and lap at your drenched cunt through and after your high, becoming overstimulated. But oh, does it feel good. The moaning mess you’ve become, almost screaming and trying to bite down on your lip before Dick finally lets go. 

“You’re such a good boy for me, hm?” He says cockily, planting kisses on your thighs. All you can manage is small whimpers of his name and heavy pants, legs relaxed now but still shaking and being massaged by Dick. 

His hands start to wander under the hoodie you’ve been wearing, just to your waist, massaging the flesh. He comes back up to your face, placing a kiss onto your lips, letting his tongue slip into your mouth. You can taste the cum on his tongue which makes you moan ever so slightly. He moans back when you grab the flesh on his ass and start to kneed it, pushing his hips into yours. You can feel his cock throbbing through the fabric of his boxers and onto your growth. God, it's intoxicating. 

“I need you inside me… please.” 

“I love it when you tell me exactly what you want, my prince because it’s my job to make it happen. What was it you wanted again?” oh he’s teasing. 

“Inside… Dick please”  

“As you wish.” (please get my princess bride reference it's one of my favourite movies) He slides his boxers off in one go, dick springing free. His cock is so pretty, glistening from all the precum in his soaked underwear. It jerked in anticipation before lightly drawing a line up your folds, spreading your slick over his tip. He places a hand on your hip before pushing in, so, so slowly, making sure you’re comfortable. You moan generously as his tip meets your cervix, sending a vigorous twang throughout your entire body. He starts to move inside you, dick throbbing at the silky warmth. A ring of white starts to form at the base of his cock as he slides mercilessly in and out of your hole. 

“That feel good, honey, hm? Me pounding into you like this? My handsome boy… you feel so good, so tight for me.” He mumbles into your ear, a warm breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine. All you can muster out is a whimper, clawing at the skin on his back. “I love the sounds you make for me, honey. Fuck-” 

The thrusts of his hips start to become uneven and erratic. He’s close. His tip hitting your cervix with each movement, you start to feel a familiar heat boil in your abdomen. His persistent thrusts and mewling whines in your ear push you over the edge, cumming and clenching onto his cock. He keeps fucking into you through your high, thighs shaking against his skin. Your legs tied around his waist, pulling him in closer as he comes to his own high. The white rivers flowing into you, spilling into your canal. He whimpers into the fabric of your hoodie on your shoulder, jerking his hips every few seconds out of sensitivity. Your legs still around his torso you rub his back gently as he starts to recover. He places kisses on your neck while slowly pulling out, making sure you’re comfortable before collapsing on top of you like a weighted blanket and nuzzling into your chest. 

“Hm, you smell nice…” he whispers against the fabric of your sweater, hugging you tightly. 

“You’re such a flirt.” You say with a chuckle and run your fingers through his hair planting a kiss on the top of his head. 

“I just want to stay in your arms forever, my pretty boy. But alas, I must help you clean up, no?” He heaves himself off of you and hops off the bed, walking toward the bathroom, softening dick bouncing between his legs. 

He walks back out with a damp hand towel and a vigorous smile. Oh how he loves to clean you up. He climbs back onto the bed and spreads your legs. 

“Look at this beautiful mess, honey. You’re so heavenly.” he remarks making you blush. He dips his head down to kiss your inner thigh after wiping it with the cloth. He wipes up your core and all around until it’s free of any mess. He places another kiss on your pelvic bone. 

“Perfect…” Who knows if he means he’s finished or you’re perfect. Let’s go with the latter. 

He discards the small towel onto the floor before climbing up to where he was before, on top of you, laying into you and relaxing against your body, heaving a large sigh before promptly falling asleep again. It’s the weekend, let him sleep.

[maleyanderecafe]

Hi!! Hope you're having a wonderful day/night!!

I was going through your recommendation list and since I didn't see it, I'd like to recommend Reanimated heart vn to you!! It's my number one most beloved VN and it's extremely well written!! It's also partially voice acted and has a really cool character journal and inventory system!! And one of the LI Vincenzo is also a yandere!!

I feel like you may like it!!

Phew you were right this is a really well made game. It took me a bit to play it because despite it only really going over the prologue/first chapter (or from what I heard, half of it) there's a ton of content within it (that and while I was playing it, there was an update, so there's that as well.) Since there's not a guide currently and I'm kind of useless without a guide, I did my best to see as much of the content as possible. Vincenzo definitely shows signs of being a yandere (along with Black) though since this is just a prologue, not too much has gone on yet. This game has pretty extensive worldbuilding as well and can get pretty gory at times, thus the r18 rating. You can find more information @doubledeadstudio.

This game is pretty lengthy and you can actually pursue three love interests (Crux, Black and Vincenzo). Since Vincenzo is the main topic of this ask, I'll be focusing my time on him, though I'll still mention things from Black's route as well. The blog also mentions that Crux might be one as well, though at least currently in the game I don't really see too many signs of it, but I can theorize near the end.

The story starts out with Moss/Player (default name, though Moss sounds better so I'm going to just use Moss) trying to escape as the world devolves into violence and chaos, riots everywhere. While leaving, they are hit by a car, but instead of actually dying, they instead get isekaied to another world with a green sky and a giant tree in the center (like yggsdril) before being jumpscared by a guy with a lot of teeth looming over them. They are eventually caught by two guys after attempting to run away, Black, the one who jumpscared Moss and is now a zombie and Crux, the mage who brought him there. Crux explains whats going on to a confused Moss and Black. Basically, Crux and Black were friends in the original world. Black died from trying to save a girl from getting shot and the Crux from the original world had set up a spell in advanced to get him revived. However, Moss ended up interfering by accident, leading to the two of them being transferred to this world with no way out and for Black to essentially become a zombie. Crux as a mage is able to be aware of his other selves in other worlds, which is why he knows about all of this, though now that they're both stuck here, they have to find places to live. Crux sets up Black in a recently deceased person's house and Moss with a friend named Greta, whose mother had just recently died. Upon going to Greta's place, we learn a little big more about the world that they have transported to: magic is something that everyone has (which is given by the giant tree), there are magical creatures here, people who come here from other worlds are called outsiders and that apparently Moss does have some sort of powers (this is more implied though). We also learn about Greta herself, as she sells weed to pay for rent (which later can become Moss's part time job), she and her mother had a close relationship (thus the reason that she wanted someone to be in the house, as it was too lonely to bare without her) and that she's generally fairly somber in nature, though takes care of Moss fairly well by providing meals and other things. After setting up, Moss heads to sleep.

The next day, Black asks to meet up with Moss downtown and upon meeting up with him, we learn that Black seems to not really eat normal food anymore nor really sleep or have a heartbeat, though he seems to have a great craving for humans (as a zombie would) and decides that eating the guy who ran Moss over is a good idea. The two end up tracking the guy into an abandoned factory. However, upon getting there we find that someone else has already gotten to him first, and quite literally, as someone is already killing and ripping this man apart into flesh and other pieces. We are met by Vincenzo, the killer and Black ends up eating the remains of the person. After going back and sleeping, the next day Crux basically gets Moss to get a job and start pulling their weight by running deliveries for Greta. Crux ends up driving them to many places to run their deliveries and chatting about what happened the day before. With this we learn a couple of things about Vincenzo: that he's a well known serial killer that has a lot of copycats, that even when killed he is able to somehow revive and continue killing people and that there's a lot of people who fangirl/find him hot. After this you can choose the route that you'll be going for.

So we'll be going for Vincenzo's route first. Moss gets curious about the fact that Vincenzo can regenerate and thus goes back to the abandoned factory to check it out. However, before even getting there and reaching downtown, they are caught by Vincenzo and brought to the factory after passing out. Upon waking up, Moss is bound to a chair with Vincenzo lying his head on their lap. He seems to have taken an interest in Moss seeing that they seem to have basically materialized out of nowhere and pretty much claims them as his. He recounts how similar the two were, that he too was captured by a military general and bound into the dark for years, eventually falling in love and killing him. After questioning him and his intentions with Black (he best responds to obedient answers and betraying Black, it seems) and eventually Moss is forced to be his toy (or killed otherwise) through a ring created by magic that binds the two together.

After heading out and hanging out with Greta more (or going to your bedroom), you are brought by Crux the next day to join a volunteer/rebellion group where we meet Asha, a person we actually delivered to previously. Hana, the leader of the organization introduces everyone to the Evergreen Volunteer Organization where they house people who are homeless, help out in soup kitchen and pick litter off the streets. Crux and Black immediately start asking a bunch of questions including pointing out the lack of members in the group, and why they aren't doing more to actually oppose the government wrongdoings (mostly because people are terrified of Vincenzo which has killed off a lot of their members), which really makes Hana think until a lady named Brandi comes out to basically kick Hana while she's down even more before Hana ultimately kicks her out. After watching Crux and Black bicker, Moss goes to comfort Hana, though Hana agrees that the questioning did help her realize that she has backpedaled in what their organization originally stood for and how far they've fallen and how she's changed since first starting the organization. Upon going back, Moss can either pass out or talk to Vincenzo about what they had done for the day. We can then go and talk with the various characters and run deliveries for Greta. Talking to Vincenzo, we can learn about his mutations and his living quarters (the mutation seems to be caused by a "deal" made with a powerful abomination so that he can have powers but also so the abomination can sort of puppet his body around.

Upon returning back, Greta asks Moss to help her get rid of a Mutie problem, basically a type of pest that is common there and is currently wrecking havoc on her lawn. She asks moss to go to the market to get something that can get rid of the mutie, and sends Moss on their way after giving them some money. After going through a strange ritual to get there, Moss encounters one of the shopkeepers, Missy and buys some things, most importantly a comic book about muties. Upon leaving, Moss runs into Crux who seems to have also wanted the comic as well. Seeing as the information is accurate, Crux proposes a trade where he'll get rid of the mutie in exchange for the comic book. Upon returning to Greta's house, we learn that muties are sort of spirits that have some sort of unfinished business, and after Crux pulls out some magical garments to allow the mutie to pass on, Moss gives him the comic book. Afterwards, Vincenzo tells Moss to meet him downtown (and ignoring this leads to something weird crawling inside of them at night). Upon meeting up with Vincenzo for this date, bringing moss to a table with a naked women tied up and basically tells Moss that they can do anything with her. You can then decide to try to let her go, rape her or kill her (Vincenzo responds best to killing her in a vicious way, which is pretty much what I did immediately because of course I did). Whether you are able to save this lady, kill her or otherwise defile her, the date eventually ends. The next day, Moss returns to the volunteer organization after seeing an email pretty much going full attack and petitioning a new law that had just came out by getting signatures. As a result, Black and Moss go out to get signatures from various places eventually finding two bodies at a construction site. After this, Moss gets a choice of where to work at, either at the same bar as Black, as a magical apprentice with Crux or continuing delivering for Grete.

After that you have freetime to visit people and buy things. We learn from Vincenzo that the two bodies are in fact not his killings but rather killings from a copycat killer, that he dated Crux before and that he has the ability to leave this world if he wants to. The next day you are presented with the opportunity to go to the protesting that Hana has organized or to skip it and end up helping Black with something. Either way, the next day, Moss heads downtown after Vincenzo summons them again, this time however, appearing as a woman. And here you can tell her your preferences for either form. Vincenzo remarks that Black has been arrested (whether you know that or not is based on the previous choice) and that Vincenzo wants to get revenge on the person who tried to impersonate her killings. After tracking down this Irving Dunham, Vincenzo gets you to become a distraction to get him out and so they can kidnap him. Vincenzo kidnapped him basically to see if there was any potential in him, though after he admits to killing his family, he ends up dying/bleeding by her hands. In the end, Vincenzo gives basically an upgraded ring to help Moss in case something happens to them.

Black's route mostly goes around the sudden transformation of being a zombie and his sense of morality as well as Moss visiting him while he's getting a tattoo. I won't go as detailed into it since other than him being overprotective over Moss (mostly because he feels guilty that he was the reason that Moss came here in the first place), we don't see to much of the yandere side of him (and the ask is more on Vincenzo rather than Black, I just thought I'd also mention him since at least stated on the tumblr page, he might also qualify as a yandere).

So yeah, anyways, this game is really well made. With just the game system alone there's an inventory and journal section and I love the way the UI is done (since I'm a sucker for cool UI in games) as the entire UI system is more reminiscent of a scrapbook. The world itself is also very cool too, with it's green skies and magic, definitely portrays a certain mood along with its themes of injustice, society, punk/rebel type of culture and others. Seriously, this world is genuinely very interesting and a lot of thought and effort was put into it. The characters too are all pretty fun to interact with, Crux is sly at times but still pretty caring, Black is more direct but has a soft side, Vincenzo has a genuine creepy feeling to him to contrast with his more charming personality, Asha has a very chill vibe, while Greta is more somber (for some reason she kind of reminds me of Elliot Reed) and then my favorite girl Hana is not only cute but commanding. I think its really nice that despite the fact that we're introduced to so many characters that they are all unique in a way that I can remember. There's a ton of concepts that get explored as well, from morality to mortality, to religion, and societal issues. It is very wild to me that this game isn't more popular than it is currently.

Considering this is just the prologue/first chapter, we don't really know the extent to how Vincenzo will evolve as a character and as a yandere. We see already that he had tendencies given his previous partners and the guard that imprisoned him, killing him out of love and we see that he has a sense of possessiveness to him, especially when Moss is claimed by him. He seems to enjoy violence over everything considering that he is a serial killer and likes obedience overall, as well as worry when Moss isn't around which is why he equips them with the ring near the end. As a yandere, I can see him more as a violent type and one that when when he grows an attachment is the type to either kill them (out of an overwhelming love, as we see with the guard) or to possibly become his partner in crime (for lack of a better word). I do see him having an obsession with the player given that at least in this route, Moss is thrown into more dire situations where they can be violent or otherwise evil and we can kind of see that corruption already taking place as the game goes on, even in just the prologue. Technically speaking I guess it wouldn't be so much as a strictly male yandere, but rather a genderfluid one since Vincenzo can be a girl, but I mean, you do in the end get to choose so given the option I'll just consider it a "male" yandere. But yeah, I see Vincenzo as a combination of a lot of types, more manipulative to a certain degree, violent for sure, unpredictable and always testing the player. Having this kind of serial killer yandere that can't be killed as well as having to experience the gore of such things in the game is pretty terrifying. Aside from that he also kidnaps and stalks people (including the player).

Black on the other hand is more overprotective if anything and we can already see that in the game so far. In a lot of places, he's worried about the player and will often defend them in many places, case in point: meeting Vincenzo for the first time. Much of his route is his struggles with his new zombie form, having not only having to eat humans to sustain himself but also to prevent himself from attacking Moss, even asking them to chain him up in the room. He always seems a bit ashamed in a sense to eat humans in front of the player and is always wanting to help. In a sense, Black is very similar to a guard dog, though at the moment it seems mostly out of guilt for dragging Moss into the world rather than having any romantic feelings for them. I think if there are any endings in the future that are yanderelike, it would probably be due to an overprotective action such as killing one of Moss's friends that might be a danger to them.

Crux is a little harder to decipher, but we do see more of his tender side in his route. While he is sly and manipulative, often stalking, hacking and reading through other people (such as Black's) history, we also see that he is very protective over his family. Crux is the type of guy who seems very does whatever he wants and goes with the flow, though he's clearly harboring another secret given that he seems to recognize Moss, but won't admit to it. Hard to say though since while Crux does take an interest in Moss during his route and we do have the option to kiss him, I just don't know enough right now to know if he's a yandere. Kind of an interesting thing to see in the future though!

Overall, really well made game/demo. I really like the atmosphere and the level of polish this game has and the characters are all fantastic. It'll be cool to see how the love interest in this story develop and hopefully show more of their yandere side as it goes.

[giveafike]

Silent Night, No More - B.T.S

TLDR: CHRISTMAS EVE! This is part 12/12, the last part of Azzie's Advent Calendar 2024!

Word count + info: 5k + dialogue.

Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW! No warnings : )

Azzie Notes ✚: Christmas Eve chapter! Finally here, phew! Enjoy reading, and have a lovelyyyy holiday szn my loves <3 be safe and I wish nothing but peace and joy for u and ur loved ones :)

————————————————————————

Christmas Eve dawned on the house, and as soon as the house awakened, excitement and joy immediately lit the house throughout each room. Lisa’s kitchen felt like the heart of the house, beating warm and alive, with an aroma that wafted through the house, every surface serving a purpose as she began cooking the dishes, getting everything for the feast set to ensue later. The counters were a cluttered symphony of ingredients, flour-dusted bowls, glass jars of different herbs and spices, and a large array of serving dishes and other equipment. The oven hummed, working overtime while the gas stoves remained alight with several pots atop, as trays of stuffing and casseroles exchanged places. Lisa moved with the confidence of a seasoned cook, wielding her wooden spoon like a wand.

You, Emma and Ben, had weaved in and out throughout the day, helping clean up the kitchen or assisting in tasting and aiding in preparing some of the dishes. Still, truly Lisa seemed to have it under control, especially with all the prep you both had done the other day. Now it was more a case of gossiping and talking, keeping company while the minutes ticked away while Ben got shooed away to set up the large dining table and the kid's table for dinner.

Emma leaned against the counter, sneaking a piece of carrot from the chopping board while Lisa’s back was turned. “Caught you. Down, girl,” Lisa said without even looking, and Emma’s hand froze mid-air.

“Dang it,” Emma muttered, popping the stolen piece into her mouth anyway. “You’ve got eyes in the back of your head.”

“Mother’s intuition,” Lisa replied, her tone amused as she sprinkled paprika over a bubbling dish. Then, she turned to you. “You keeping her in check?”

You raised both hands in mock surrender. “She’s a free spirit. What am I to do, Lis?”

Emma giggled, linking her arm through yours. “Come on, let’s get ready before Mom ropes us into something else.”

In Emma’s room, Christmas jumpers were laid out on her bed like a festive fashion show. “We’ve got options for the both of us, but you have to wear a Christmas jumper - no escape,” she declared, holding up two hangers.

One featured a fluffy snowman surrounded by tiny, twinkling LED lights; the other was a maroon sweater adorned with white snowflakes and reindeer. “Which one says ‘I’m the life of the party, but also an excellent gift recipient’?”

You laughed, pointing to the reindeer sweater. “Definitely this one.”

She handed it to you before holding up another for herself, a green jumper with a cheerful Santa Claus and jingling bells stitched onto the sleeves. “Perfect,” she declared. “Let’s get festive.”

As you pulled on the sweater and paired it with a sweet black pleated skirt, you glanced at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. It was cozy and just the right amount of ridiculous. You pulled your hair back and did light makeup, just blush and concealer and a touch of mascara. Emma, already fully dressed, fluffed her hair and tugged you into a selfie. “Documenting this for the archives,” she said, sticking out her tongue.

The two of you headed back downstairs, where Ben was crouched by the Christmas tree, adjusting the gifts as he snuck his Secret Santa present there too. He stood up as you entered, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. His own jumper, a deep red one with white reindeer, matched yours almost exactly.

Emma burst out laughing. “You two look like you planned this!”

“We didn’t!” you protested, feigning annoyance though your cheeks burned as Ben looked at you, his smile widening.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he said, tugging at his sleeve. “Guess great minds think alike.”

Back in the kitchen, Bryan had just returned, jingling his keys as he carried in a bag filled with snacks.

“Got the goods!” he announced, setting the bag down on the counter. “And before anyone asks, yes, I did mean to buy candy canes the day before Christmas.”

“Uh-huh,” Lisa said, arching an eyebrow. She reached into the bag and pulled out a pack of marshmallows. “And these were on the list?”

“Essential for s'mores,” Bryan said, unrepentant. Then, leaning closer to Lisa, he added in a low voice, “I stopped by the PO Box.”

Lisa smirked knowingly. “Last-minute gift retrieval?”

“Shh,” Bryan replied, holding a finger to his lips as he glanced at you and Emma. “Not a word.”

“Don’t worry,” Emma said, her tone dripping with faux innocence. “Your secret’s safe with us…for now.”

As Bryan moved past you, he clapped a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You all set up here, kid?”

“Mostly,” Ben replied. He gestured to the table with a sweeping hand. “You want to check my work?”

Bryan squinted at the table like a coach assessing a play. “Not bad, not bad. You might have a future in hospitality if this tennis thing doesn't work out, son.”

Ben rolled his eyes, a grin tugging at his lips. “Good to know I’ve got options.”

As the sun began to set, the kitchen became a flurry of activity. Lisa transferred dishes to serving platters while Emma handled the gravy, stirring it with exaggerated care while you got the cranberry sauce ready. “Gotta keep the lumps out,” she said, winking at you.

Bryan circled back, snagging a piece of bread from the cutting board and earning a sharp “Bryan!” from Lisa.

“What? Quality control,” he defended, chewing unabashedly. Then he turned to you. “By the way, you’re fitting in around here like you’ve been part of the family for years. Good job surviving this lot.”

“Thanks,” you replied with a laugh. “I’m enjoying every chaotic minute.”

Bryan smiled warmly, and for a moment, the teasing glint in his eyes softened as he pat your back. “We’re glad to have you here. Really.”

Ben leaned against the counter beside you, brushing your shoulder with his. “Told you they’d love you,” he said quietly.

Your chest warmed as you turned to him, your voice soft. “Guess I’m just lucky to have the best companion.”

Ben smirked, nudging you lightly. “Please, lucky’s an understatement.”

“Alright, you three,” Lisa called, pointing her spoon at you, Ben and Emma as you stood near the cabinets. “The nice plates and cutlery are in the top drawer, and the good cups are wrapped in the linen closet. Don’t break anything.”

Emma rolled her eyes with a grin, nudging you. “She acts like we’re five. Come on, let’s make this table look like a magazine spread.”

The two of you dug out the plates, admiring the intricate designs that only ever came out for Christmas. Emma carried the stack carefully, while you followed with the silverware and cups, setting them down on the dining table where Ben was already arranging the candles and centrepiece.

“Keep it neat, Benny,” Emma teased as she set the plates down. “This isn’t your tennis playstyle; exactness matters.”

Ben shot her a playful glare, adjusting a placemat just to spite her. “Precision’s my speciality, Em. You’re lucky I’m not measurin' angles here.”

You chuckled, shaking your head as you placed forks and knives neatly beside the plates. The three of you worked in unison, the table gradually transforming into a picture-perfect setup with now lit candles, a centrepiece of poinsettias, and a sprinkling of gold and red decor.

As the sun dipped low, the food was plated onto the good dishes and placed in warming trays, bowls and serving trays, the kitchen alive with the clatter of lids and Lisa’s cheerful humming. Bryan returned to the rest of you, a sheepish smile plastered on his face after swiftly tossing his Secret Santa gift beneath the tree.

With the house organised and ready it wasn't long before the family began to arrive.

The door opened to a flood of warmth and sound. Aunts and uncles piled in with cheerful exclamations, small children rowdy and excited darting through your legs, and laughter filled the space as Ben’s family began their Christmas Eve takeover. The smell of cookies, pine, and faint notes of perfume wafted in with them, making the house feel even cozier.

Ben and Emma led the welcoming committee, diving into hugs and playful jabs like they’d been waiting all year for this moment. You followed closely, feeling the contagious energy of their enthusiasm.

One of Ben’s aunts, her arms full of baked goods, set them down to pull you into a tight hug. “Oh, so you’re the one,” she said with a knowing smile. “Ben’s talked about you nonstop. We were beginning to think you weren’t real!”

“I’m real, I promise,” you replied, laughing as she squeezed you again.

Ben’s grandmother was next, her soft hands wrapping around yours as she studied you closely. Her eyes crinkled with warmth. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she said, her drawl wrapping around the words like a melody. “This boy better be treatin’ you right.”

“Oh, he is, it's a pleasure to finally meet you,” you assured her, feeling your cheeks warm under her kind gaze.

Ben appeared behind you, throwing an arm around his grandmother’s shoulders. “Nana, you’re embarrassing me,” he teased, though the fondness in his tone was unmistakable.

“Good,” she shot back, giving his arm a light slap before turning back to you, squeezing your hand tight before letting go. “We’ll talk more later, sweetheart.”

The uncles were just as welcoming, their handshakes firm and accompanied by wide grins. One leaned in conspiratorially, muttering, “If Ben’s giving you any trouble, let me know. I’ve got plenty of stories that’ll keep him humble.”

“Noted,” you said, unable to suppress your giggles.

Before long, the younger cousins made their presence known. They were a whirlwind of energy, zipping through the living room like tiny tornados. One darted behind you hiding, clearly using you as an advantage for a game of tag, giggling maniacally as another launched themselves at Ben, wrapping their arms around his waist.

“Ben!” the little one squealed.

“Oh no, not again,” Ben groaned dramatically, lifting the child effortlessly and perching them on his shoulders. “Alright, who’s next? Form a line!”

Three more cousins swarmed him, clambering up his legs and giggling as he tried to fend them off with mock protests. “I’m not a jungle gym!” he shouted, though his wide smile betrayed him.

You watched from the side, laughing at the chaos. One cousin paused mid-sprint to look up at you with curious eyes. “Are you his girlfriend?”

Before you could answer, Emma swooped in. “She’s our new favourite family member,” she said with a wink, ushering the little one back into the fray.

Dinner was nothing short of a spectacle. The dining table stretched to its limit, every inch covered with dishes that looked like they’d been lifted from the pages of a holiday cookbook. Platters of turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cornbread vied for space with glasses of sparkling cider and wine.

Lisa stood at the head of the table, raising her hands to gather everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone,” she said, her voice calm but commanding. “Before we dig in, let’s join hands for a quick prayer.”

You reached for the hands nearest to you, finding Ben’s warm grip on one side and his grandmother’s gentle hold on the other. The room quieted as Lisa spoke.

“Dear Lord,” she began, her voice steady and heartfelt. “Thank you for this family, for this meal, and for the blessing of being together on this special night. May we remember the joy of giving, the love that binds us, and the hope that tomorrow brings. Amen.”

“Amen,” echoed through the room, and then the feast began.

The meal was a lively affair, filled with overlapping conversations, clinking glasses, and occasional bursts of laughter. Ben’s younger cousins, who had temporarily calmed down enough to eat, couldn’t resist sneaking off with a plate of sugar cookies halfway through dinner. They reappeared moments later with suspiciously sweet-smelling fingers and wide-eyed innocence.

Ben caught them red-handed. “Hey! Those are for dessert, y'all are some sneaky lil-!” he feigned anger, chasing them around the table while the rest of the family laughed.

"He always finds a way to sneak back to the kid's table, huh?" one voice laughed.

Bryan just shook his head, pretending to be disappointed as he took a deep sigh, "Every year..."

Once everyone had eaten their fill, the group naturally drifted to the living room, bunching up together. The kids wasted no time sprawling across the carpet in front of the TV, eyes glued to the animated version of The Grinch that played on the screen while milk, cookies and other sweet treats were shared amongst them. Their giggles punctuated the festive chatter, pillows and blankets passed between them like treasures.

The adults, meanwhile, settled into clusters around the room, the cozy couches and armchairs filling quickly. Ben was at the centre of one group, effortlessly juggling questions about his career with that easy charm of his.

“So, what’s next for you, big shot?” one of his uncles teased, though the pride in his voice was unmistakable. “Still aiming for top 10?”

Ben leaned back against the couch, his posture relaxed but attentive. His arm rested along the back of the cushion behind you, a subtle but comforting presence.

“That’s the plan. It’s been a good year so far, but next season’s gonna be a whole new level. A lot of travel, a lot of long days, but I’m ready for it.”

Another uncle nodded approvingly. “As long as you’re enjoying it,” he said, his tone warm. “That’s what matters. Doesn’t hurt that you’re putting our name on the map, either.”

Ben smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting with quiet pride. “Yeah, it’s been fun. It’s a lot of work, but honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

One of his aunts, sitting on the edge of a loveseat nearby, chimed in. “Well, it’s been amazing watching you shine, Ben. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself too.”

“I’ve got that covered,” Ben assured her, his eyes briefly flicking to you. “It helps to have good people around to keep me grounded.”

The conversation naturally shifted, as all eyes subtly turned toward you. It wasn’t sudden or forced, just a gentle pivot, like a tide rolling in.

Ben’s aunt leaned forward slightly, her expression curious but kind.

“So,” she began, her eyes twinkling with curiosity, “what’s it been like being with Ben? I mean, being with someone who’s on the road so much, always on tour. That’s gotta be… a lot on your shoulders too, sweetheart.”

Ben glanced at you, his expression softening in quiet encouragement as if to say, It’s okay, be honest.

“It definitely has its challenges,” you admitted. “There’s a lot of planning and juggling schedules, but honestly, it’s worth it. Ben has a way of making every moment feel important, even if we don’t get as much time together as we’d like. Quality time over the quantity of time, y'know?”

One of the uncles grinned knowingly, his voice teasing but kind. “Sounds like our Benny’s doing something right for a change.”

Ben rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched in amusement. “You’re not wrong,” he quipped, earning a round of laughter from the group.

Another voice chimed in, tone pensive. “I can imagine it takes patience. And maybe even a little creativity? It's not like you can always go out or be public, goodness...”

You nodded, humming in agreeance. “Exactly. But it helps that he’s so passionate about what he does. It’s easy to root for someone when you see how much they love what they’re doing. And we're both good at making time for each other and communicating, it works out well.”

“She’s been good around here, huh?” one of the uncles said, gesturing toward you. “Lis, I don’t think we’ve seen you this relaxed in a long time.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow, looking mock-offended. “Excuse me, I am the epitome of relaxed all the time.”

Bryan, returning from the kitchen with a plate of s'mores for the kids, snorted. “Mmhmm, sure you are.”

Lisa waved him off but smiled warmly, her gaze landing on you. “She’s been a breath of fresh air, that’s for sure. I don’t know how Ben managed to talk her into coming down here to spend it with us, but I’m glad he did.”

Ben’s grandmother nodded in agreement, breaking into a gentle smile. “Me too,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “It’s been lovely having you here with us. How’s it been, spending the holidays with all of us? We can be a little… energetic.”

The warmth in the room was palpable, and you felt your cheeks heat at the attention. “Thank you,” you said, your voice earnest. “It’s been incredible. I think I’ve been smiling nonstop since I got here. Everyone’s been so welcoming, it really feels like being part of something special.”

A ripple of murmured appreciation and smiles went around the room, and one of Ben’s uncles, seated with a glass of cider in hand, grinned broadly. “Well, that’s good to hear. We don’t exactly do quiet, but we do a whole lotta love.”

“It shows,” you replied, a genuine smile on your face. “It’s a good kind of chaos. It’s been easy to feel at home.”

The kids erupted into another round of laughter, their voices catching the attention of the room as one tried to mimic the Grinch’s dramatic sly walk, much to the delight of the other children. Their antics drew the group’s attention for a moment, lightening the mood even further.

Ben's hand found its way to your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. His voice filled with pride but just above a whisper. “You okay?” His gaze held yours, steady and sincere.

You turned to him, your smile growing softer. “Yeah,” you said quietly, just for him. “Better than okay.”

He smiled that private little grin that was just for you, and gave your shoulder another reassuring squeeze and a pressing kiss to your temple before turning back to the room. His arm stayed where it was, a silent claim and sign of pride.

As the conversation dropped into a story time of some incident earlier this month you took a moment or two to just sit there surrounded by laughter, chatter, and warmth, feeling entirely at peace. It wasn’t just Ben, it was the family, the energy, and the way they opened their home and hearts to you. You glanced at him again, finding him already looking at you, and you couldn’t help but think, this feels like home.

The room quieted slightly as the conversation dwindled down, which prompted Bryan to stand and clap his hands once, the sound cutting through the chatter. “Alright, everyone, settle down, I think it’s Secret Santa time!”

The announcement was met with cheers, laughter, and some playful groans from the kids, who had long forgone the Grinch and were more interested in a game of play-fighting each other and bouncing on the couch. Lisa emerged from the kitchen with a tray of hot cocoa for the younger ones, while the adults pulled their chairs closer into a semi-circle around the Christmas tree.

“Okay,” Bryan started, grabbing a gift and reading the tag, “this one’s for… Em!”

Emma squealed in delight and scrambled forward, nearly tripping over one of the little cousins who stuck themselves out last minute. She took the neatly wrapped gift from Bryan’s hands, plopped down cross-legged in front of the tree, and tore into it with dramatic flair.

“Oh my gosh!” she shrieked, holding up a beautiful matching outdoor all-weather jacket set, one for her and Halo, alongside a bracelet and dog collar. The colours complemented Halo’s coat perfectly, and there was even a little charm engraved with Halo’s name. “This is so cute, all I put on my wishlist was somethin' for me 'n Halo, who did this?”

You raised your hand a little shy. “That’d be me.”

Emma’s pout was instant and exaggerated, but her eyes sparkled. “You! You’re too good at this!” She bolted up, practically leaping at you as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Her lips pressed a loud, playful kiss to your cheek before she pulled back. “Seriously, this is the best. Thank you!” She immediately began calling Halo over to try on his new gift, beaming with excitement.

Bryan reached for the next present, his grin wide. “Alright, next up… this one’s for Ben.”

Ben took the box with an exaggerated bow, earning laughter and applause. He made a show of shaking it next to his ear, grinning mischievously. “Hmm, feels important,” he teased, glancing at you like you might give something away.

“Just open it, drama king,” Emma called, rolling her eyes.

Ben tore the wrapping away, revealing a sleek black journal and a beautifully designed scratch-off world map. His smile softened as he turned the journal over in his hands, fingers grazing the cover. “This is perfect,” he said, his voice quieter now. He looked around the room, his expression genuinely touched. “I’ve been wanting something like this, I'll do a review on tour and write it down. Thank you, secret Santa.”

“You're welcome,” Lisa admitted, raising her hand with a proud smile. “I figured you could use it for your next season. Better than the normal bunch I get you.”

Ben crossed the room in a few strides, leaning down to kiss his mom on the cheek. “You nailed it,” he said, his gratitude evident.

The next few rounds brought a mix of hilarity and sentimentality. One uncle unwrapped a set of novelty socks featuring flamingos in Santa hats, which sent the room into fits of laughter. An older cousin received a set of gourmet spice blends for their newly discovered love of cooking. One of the younger kids was delighted with a jellycat plushie and various popular blind-boxes, which they immediately hugged to their chest.

Finally, Bryan reached for the gift labelled with your name. “This one’s for you,” he said, handing it over with a grin.

You took the gift, noticing the impeccable wrapping job. “Someone had this done professionally,” you teased, shaking the box gently before pulling at the tape. The room watched eagerly as you opened it, revealing a beautifully curated gift set: an engraved charm bracelet and a luxurious throw blanket in your favourite colour.

“Wow,” you murmured, touched by the thoughtfulness. You glanced up after a few seconds, your eyes scanning the room until they landed on Bryan, who was sitting suspiciously still, legs crossed, a smile tugging at his lips as he tried to cover his mouth from giving him away.

“Bryan!” you exclaimed, laughing as you stood. His wide grin gave him away immediately. "Terrible poker face."

“Guilty,” he admitted, rising to meet your hug. His arms wrapped warmly around you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it!” you said, squeezing him back before sitting down again.

As the gifts continued to be opened, the room filled with laughter and joy. Lisa’s gift, a handmade quilt stitched with everyone’s names, earned her a round of applause, while Ben’s grandmother unwrapped a stunning piece of holiday artwork for her mantle, bringing tears to her eyes.

By the time the final gift was opened, everyone was either laughing, hugging, or marvelling at the thoughtfulness of the night, not one present unappreciated. It was pure magic, exactly the kind of warmth and connection that made this holiday unforgettable.

It wasn't long before the well-loved karaoke machine turned into the centrepiece of the late evening. After the initial warm-up of Feliz Navidad with you, Ben, and Emma leading the mission to get everyone in the mood, the night unfolded with a lively lineup of songs. Bryan’s spirited Jingle Bell Rock performance had everyone laughing and clapping, his dramatic hip wiggles earning him a standing ovation from the kids. Lisa’s O Holy Night was a showstopper; her voice soared so beautifully that even the little ones paused their antics to listen momentarily.

The room erupted into applause when she finished, with Bryan dramatically wiping away a fake tear and declaring, “That’s my wife!”

Throughout it all the kids, despite their sugar highs, began to wear down with a sugar crash. One by one, they started curling up on couches, leaning against older cousins, or lying on the plush carpet in front of the tree. Ben surprised everyone with a charmingly off-key rendition of Last Christmas, dedicating it to you while his family howled in laughter when he purposefully butchered the high notes.

“Don’t quit your day job, son,” Bryan teased, throwing a decorative pillow at him.

“Oh, I think I nailed it,” Ben shot back, winking at you as he handed the microphone off to the next brave soul.

You even found yourself roped into a duet with Emma, an upbeat version of Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, earning a cheer when you both ended with exaggerated bows and somehow, tinsel garlands around your necks like scarves. The energy in the room shifted to a more relaxed hum as the night wore on. Conversations grew quieter, and laughter turned softer as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

By the time the last notes of karaoke faded, the practical task of winding down the house began. Air mattresses were pulled from closets and inflated in the living room for the family staying over. Emma tossed pillows and blankets onto each one, laughing when Ben dropped onto one mattress dramatically, testing its bounce like a kid.

“Ben, you’re gonna pop that thing!” Lisa called from the kitchen, her voice holding a mix of amusement and warning.

The others slowly began to filter out, gathering their coats and wishing everyone a cheerful goodnight and a Merry Christmas. Hugs were exchanged at the door, the promise of seeing each other bright and early the next morning lingering in the air.

The house finally quieted as only the immediate family remained on their feet.

Together, you, Ben, Lisa, Bryan, and Emma tackled the cleanup. Dishes clinked in the sink as Bryan dried them off while Lisa packed leftovers into tupperware with precision. You and Emma worked side by side, wiping down the counters and collecting the last of the wrapping paper scattered near the tree.

“Teamwork makes the dream work,” Emma quipped, passing you another wet cloth.

Ben appeared behind you, reaching for the glasses you’d just dried. “Or at least keeps us from being here until morning,” he added, flashing you a quick grin.

As the final crumbs were swept and the house was put back in order, you found yourself in the kitchen with Ben. He leaned against the counter, his phone in hand, its faint glow casting a soft light across his face. When he caught a glimpse of you, his brows unfurrowed as he quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket.

“Caught you,” you teased, stepping closer. “Being sneaky again?”

“Maybe... just trust me, alright? You’ll see soon enough.”

You tilted your head, pretending to scrutinize him. “You’re lucky tonight was perfect, or I might press you for answers.”

“Perfect, huh?” He pushed off the counter and closed the space between you, his hands brushing yours before settling gently on your waist. “So, my crazy family didn’t scare you off?”

“Not even close,” you murmured, smiling up at him. “They’re wonderful. Tonight was… everything.”

His eyes softened, and he leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

The clock above the stove caught your eye as it ticked past midnight. A small laugh escaped you. “Ben,” you said, nudging him gently, “it’s officially Christmas!”

He caught a glimpse of the clock, his eyes wide as a smile broke out on his face.

“Merry Christmas,” you mumbled before the moment could pass, he leaned down and kissed you, a soft, unhurried kiss that made the world outside of this moment melt away.

When you finally pulled back, his forehead rested gently against yours, his hand cradling your face, breath warm as it mingled with yours. For a moment, neither of you said anything, the hum of the dishwasher and the faint creak of the settling house the only sounds around you.

His hands slid down to yours, fingers intertwining as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere. “For being here. For everything.”

You smiled softly, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

The warmth between you was all-encompassing, as though the world had shrunk down to just this kitchen, just this moment. The kitchen remained as the heart of the home, and your heart was here, holding you in his arms, eyes boring into yours with an immeasurable amount of love for you. His thumb brushed across your knuckles as his lips curved into a quiet, contented smile.

From the living room, a faint rustle sounded as Emma and Lisa talked their quiet laughter a reminder of the family still tucked away nearby. The twinkling Christmas lights cast a soft glow over the house, and in the stillness, everything felt whole.

Ben leaned in again, pressing another kiss to your forehead, his voice barely above a whisper. “Merry Christmas,” he said once more, as though savouring the words.

“Merry Christmas,” you echoed, the words wrapping around you both like a blanket. Together, you stood there a moment longer, letting the night settle into your hearts before finally, hand in hand, you turned off the last of the lights and let the warmth of the day carry you both forward.

---

hm. what a weird way to end...right?...

[raccoonsface]

“T-Tara?” Pt.2

____________——————————____________

Words- About 750

Warnings- angst or fluff, idk tbh. Swearing, idk what else

Just to say some stuff, I lost my other emails’ password and that email was connected to my other account so I’m on this one now. Sorry for being gone for so long too!

Summary- Y/n and Tara have a crush on each other and go to great lengths to make sure they have them all to themselves.

————————______________———————-

Part 1

______________————————_____________

“Jeez the suns out early”

Tara has just woken up from her sleep, she was tired from all the running around yesterday.

She almost falls back asleep because of it but then she turns over and takes a look at her clock

“SHIT! ITS 10:30 AM IM LATE FOR SCHOOL”

She rushes to get all of her stuff packed so she can make it to school before lunch, which is at 11:30, so it shouldn’t be that hard… right?

“Okay I’m fucked… I can’t find my keys.”

Oh Well she’s fucked

————————______________———————-

______________————————_____________

Tara’s POV

“I’m gonna fucking die”

I’m not gonna make it there in time, come on Tara run faster. Damn it’s hot out

Fuck I didn’t bring my inhaler, again?!What the fuck Tara, you’re gonna die on the side of the street. I’ve gotta sit down, yeah the sidewalk under this tree looks fine.

“Damn two days in a row”

Is this heaven? Ugh it’s too bright here.

“Hah, no this isn’t heaven Tara” oh it’s Y/n

“Well if it isn’t then what am I doing looking at a goddess” damn what’s going on right now

“Geez don’t you got the pick up lines when you’re literally gasping for air”

She’s funny, and really pretty

“Okay, Tara here you go” Her and that extra inhaler

I mean it definitely feels way better when I can breathe that’s for sure, but every time I look at her I loose my breath anyways so I don’t really see the point in it.

“You good Tara?” So kind

“Huh, oh yeah” me and my dumbass self

“Okay good… what are you doing running out here with a backpack on anyways?” Looking for a princess like you

“Oh- uhm I’m running late for school”

“Huh, I didn’t know there was school on Saturdays” shit of course it’s Saturday, that’s why my alarm didn’t go off.

“Oh… I forgot it was Saturday” oh my god you sound like an idiot Tara!

“Huh, well you need a ride to get home?” I think I’m gonna faint

“Uhm I mean if you’re willing to” Oh. My. God.

“I mean if you want me to” of course I do beautiful.

“Uh I mean yeah sure”

“Okay, yeah, alright uhm my cars over there”

“Right! Right, I gotta get up” oh my god she’s reaching out her hand towards me, oh I’m gonna die when I get home

“Thanks”

“Yeah, no problem” She seems kinda shy.. it’s probably nothing I’m over analyzing

“Damn this car seat is comfy” no like holy shit this is comfy

“Yeah, I know, they’re custom seats.” Of course they are

“Anyways where do you live?” Oh right!

“Oh uhm it’s uhh” me and my damn it stuttering

“You wanna go eat instead? I mean you must be hungry from all that running, and I don’t mean to-“ aww she’s so cute I can’t believe I survived without her before

“I’d love to go out with you- I mean yeah I’m down to go eat with you” what the hell Tara

“Huh, right, anyways where should we go?” Shit I don’t know

“Uhm, let’s go tooooooo…” I have no idea where to go eat

“How about we drive around and figure out where to eat..?” Phew!

“Yeah I think that’s probably the better idea” she’s really smart… she could be my wife..

OKAY NO Tara get yourself together. You cannot do this. But she’s so perfect.. maybe just maybe. I can’t even fight it anymore.. I need her. I need Y/n.

————————______________———————-

Oh my god. A lot has happened in the past two months. The meaning behind this new account is between the warnings and the summary at the top.

Sorry for the short post! They’ll be way more sooner!

I have a three part series for Astrid Deetz, the last two parts will probably come out after the movie is released because I can’t really get much off of her character just from the trailer

Anyways hope you guys have had a nice day!

[quinacridonered]

Rings of Power Recap - Season 2, Episode 1

*crack content warning in effect* PROLOGUE

Sauron: Team Evil! Our former CEO will be pursuing other projects. 

Orcs: Do we get a vacation?

Sauron: As your new CEO, I am implementing a “die so I can enslave the world” program. 

Orc Daddy: I’ve been reading up on how to execute a coup d’etât, and we put together a little demo.

Melee: *ensues*

Orcs: *win*

Arda Environmental Advisory Board: Reporting elevated levels of Sauron in the Forodwaith water table.

PRESENT DAY

Rat: I’m thirsty.

Passing Cart Driver: I’m thirsty too.

Discorporeal Sauron: I’m thirsty three.

The World: Oh fuck, here we go.

--

Re-Corporeal Sauron: Which way to the orcs?

Passing Unlicensed Psychotherapist: We normally go away from them.

Sauron: I’m a bit depressed.

Psychotherapist: Have you heard of the power of positive thinking?

Sauron: I am an evil demigod, and yet you scare me a little.

Psychotherapist: Come on this ship so I can scare you some more.

--

Eldritch Marine Horror: I’m hangry.

Sauron: I am an evil demigod. 

Eldritch Marine Horror: Duly noted. I will eat something else.

Sauron: Can I interest you in a Passing Unlicensed Psychotherapist?

--

Sauron: I am thirsty again, but all I have is non-liquid stolen insignia.

Sudden Galadriel: I demand a spot on this raft.

Sauron: This is going to be a long incarnation.

—

Elrond: Mr. Principal! Galadriel threw gum in class!

Galadriel: I beg your pardon! Sire, I unwittingly unleashed an evil demigod by harassing him with motivational speeches.

Elf Principal: Anything else?

Galadriel: We did invent these rings…

Elrond: Bad rings!

Elf Principal: Bit above your pay grade. Give me the rings.

Elrond: I wonder what happens if I jump a waterfall.

Elf Principal: I wonder if anyone can invent a sedative.

--

Sauron: I love what you’ve done with the place.

Orc Daddy: Something about you seems familiar.

Sauron: Come fight elves for me. They’re working with Sauron. 

Orc Daddy: And you are?

Sauron: Not Sauron.

Orc Daddy: The next step in our multi-factor authentication requires seeing if you bleed red or not.

Waldreg: Turns out, red.

Orc Daddy: Now click on every square that shows a motorcycle.

--

Homeless Wizard: I wish I knew the way. I wish I knew my name. 

Nori: Mmm, burned cockroach.

Homeless Wizard: I wish there was a McDonald’s.

--

Elrond: Elf Elder, we made extremely sketchy rings that will surely bring our whole world to enslavement by the greatest evil since we defeated the previous greatest evil.

Elf Elder: I let nothing compromise my chill.

Elrond: I beg you to destroy these rings.

Elf Elder: If that’s what it takes to bring down your blood pressure, kiddo.

--

Orc Daddy: I’ve decided you are not Sauron. If we were to wash you, you would be much prettier than him.

Sauron: I’ll go find him then.

Orc Daddy: Can you ride a horse after all the beatings?

Sauron: Compared to abdominal sepsis, this was practically a spa.

--

Elf Principal: I will open this meeting by singing.

Elvendom: This does not bode well.

Elf Principal: We have no choice but to off-shore all operations.

Elf Elder: Actually, we do.

Elrond: You said you would get rid of the rings!

Elf Elder: Well, they seemed kind of precious.

Arda Environmental Advisory Board: Tree disease in Lindon falling back to acceptable parameters.

Elvendom: Phew.

Galadriel: Hah!

Elf Principal: Back to work, everyone.

Elrond: This could have been an email.

--

Celebrimbor: God, I love having adequate funding.

Assistant: What’s your next project?

Celebrimbor: Given the budget for this furnace, it better be something good.

Sauron: Did someone say “Request For Proposals?”

Celebrimbor: I can't work with someone this averse to showers.