#PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE ONLY FOUGHT THE NARWHAL BECAUSE HE LOVES FIGHTING

[pwurrz]

EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AND PEOPLE ARE MISCHARACTERIZING CHILDE. EVERY DAY I FIGHT FOR MY LIFE AGAINST PEOPLE WHO SPEAK THE LOUDEST AND YET SAY NOTHING OF VALUE AT ALL

[sepublic]

Barrel’s Warhammer!

           YYYYOOOOOO SASHA!!!!

           She really is the epitome, the pinnacle, of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss! I love Sasha, she’s such an utter mess, morally ambiguous and then downright terrible in so many ways, and genuinely unhinged in just as many! She’s a freaking riot and SUCH an amazing character, y’all!

           In general, I adore how Toads are handled in this show! Yeah, they’re big and brutish and used as thugs… But the show still clearly portrays them as people, and some of them are terrible like Bog, but others are just trying to live their lives, like Percy and Braddock! And how they’re all clearly working with this ascribed role as Andrias’ enforcers and iron fist across Amphibia, how they’re encouraged to be cruel brutes… But they’re still people and they’re still oppressed, which is why Grime is leading his rebellion! Good for him, good for THEM!

           Also… GRIMMITY?!?! Beatrix?! Grime LORE! I like how Beatrix and Grime have blind eyes on opposite sides, and Sasha roasting Bufo by naturally connecting his name to Buffoon, WONDERFUL! Aldo’s also a legendary, killer design, he reminds me of VLD Zarkon, old and decrepit and fanged and clearly has seen a LOT of stuff, a real warrior of his time… Honestly, getting a look into the Toads and THEIR complicated role in this story, as the ‘bad guys’ but not really, there’s more to them; It’s such a fit to Sasha’s character, and I LOVE how she’s such an utter brute for someone who normally seems accustomed to using honey over vinegar to attract flies (to feed her Toads)! She’s nuts, she’s great.

           I love the explanation for the eye symbol, I love Sasha really getting to appreciate Percy and Braddock, and for a moment I thought she really was learning her lesson… When she gave them an out, I thought maybe she took what happened with Anne to heart, but now…! Maybe this is what she’s always done; Made empty promises. God, I love this little arc for her character, how she wants to be a good friend, but she keeps valuing power and control over all else…

           AND HER RAGE! HER JEALOUSY! At Anne and Marcy being with each other, leaving her out, Sasha’s mind jumping to all of the worst conclusions, and how THAT anger is what unlocks her gem power, not heroism or anything else! Sasha’s such a complex and messed-up character but you can’t help but root for her, she really IS a Problematic Fave! God, with how she’s going to meet Anne in a volcano, and the whole “Sasha is Anakin and Anne is Obi-Wan” just WRITES itself, with Sasha angrily accusing Anne of turning Marcy against her, Anne retorting that Sasha did that herself, etc.!

           God Sasha’s such a complicated mess and ball of unresolved emotions and contradictions, denial that’s insisting everything’s fine when it’s really not… She’s a manipulator who prefers to be hands-off, yet is also somehow the raw brute with unthinking, unyielding strength! She’s utterly terrifying, no wonder all of the Toads are in awe of her ferocity and power!

           Also, I like how Barrel’s Warhammer was included; At first I wondered WHY the Narwhal Worm would guard the weapon used by the Toad who fought it, but as we can clearly see… Barrel must’ve conked it out BADLY with his Warhammer, knocking it out, and the hammer has been stuck since! And once more, the hammer has been slammed into the worm… And in general, I love seeing the Toads just ROOT around Sasha and Grime, I love seeing villainous characters get to go feral and unhinged as you root for them, as THEY rise up and fight against all odds as the underdogs!

           Percy and Braddock and the gag with the kawaii poses was great, but it’s also sad to see them go! They’re definitely a wake-up call for Sasha and I like it, I wonder if you could parallel them, one-by-one, to Anne and Marcy respectively? Perhaps Anne and Marcy were initially not taken seriously by Sasha at first, but ultimately she DID grow to care for them and not just as ‘tools’, who knows? With Anne and Percy and Braddock, I think Sasha’s going to have to reconsider things… And GRIME, how he just sort of accepts that, yeah, you gotta lose people to achieve a goal! I could see him being a bad influence to Sasha, unintentionally- Like her, he means well, they’re really great parallels to one another!

           Like, Sasha and Grime are both brutes, power-hungry, and wanting control, but Sasha prefers subtlety and manipulation, appeals to both her and others’ emotions, while Grime prefers to be raw and unthinking strength, he’s a seasoned veteran from combat, while Sasha is likely a rich kid, young and learning… They’re such a dynamic duo with a lot to teach one another! Maybe Grime sees himself in Sasha; Himself when HE was a kid… Maybe when he was a gladiator, he had friends but left them behind to be promoted to Captain? I wonder if Beatrix has anything to say on this, too…

           Could Beatrix provide insight to Grimmity? Did Grime leave her behind in a sense…? Does SASHA have a sibling, and that leads to her weird power complex, as another parallel to Grime! Either way it’s sweet, I adore the dynamic of two horrible people who are good friends and bad, enabling influences to each other… Being problematic faves, you can’t help but cringe at their mistakes but also cheer as they win as underdogs and turn the tables on their enemies! I like how Sasha is still supportive of Grime and vice-versa, Grime’s guiding this kid, but Sasha’s fully supporting Grime as the de-facto leader and backing him up, not trying to seize control!

           I think it really parallels Anne, how she just wanted to get back home… But somewhere along the way, she realizes how much she loves and enjoys this, and values her friend! And maybe it could lead to Sasha not wanting to head back home after all, especially if there’s nothing there for her; Which could play into her keeping all of her gem powers as she opposes Andrias openly, while Anne has some of her power because again, she’s more neutral, and then Marcy has none because she’s fully bought into the Newt King’s schtick!

           Also, it’s funny that Sasha is no doubt feeling betrayed, like her trust has been jeopardized by Anne and Marcy, considering she did the same to Anne in Reunion! Lying to her about what she intended to do with the Frogs… It’s wonderfully hypocritical and this kid does NOT want self-awareness, she’ll toy with it for a bit, but then immediately backpedal! Get better and well Sasha, for everyone’s sake… The confrontation and paranoia as she loses her friends and only has Grime, who means well but isn’t so great himself, is also nice!

           Honestly, there’s even a parallel to the idea of Sasha meaning well, only to be ruined by her own toxicity… And Grime wanting a better life for Toads in his revolution, but still allowing a hierarchy to exist by the end of the day, instead of abolishing it for all! They both have good ideas and initiative, but it’s ruined by Sasha and Grime not backing down on certain things and not listening to others, being SO sure they’re right… Very compelling stuff. Now I’m starting to wonder if Sasha will be open to Anne about her suspicions, if they WILL get along for the Third Temple…

           …Or if she’ll try to manipulate and fool her again, thinking that SHE’s been betrayed herself! And maybe Sasha will realize her faults in the battle of Newtopia, only for it to be too late, Anne has been too betrayed, Sasha has only herself (and, well, Andrias) to blame! In the meantime, as Sasha no doubt embraces her role as a rebel, but also unknowingly as a hero against Andrias and his master… I can see her tapping more into her gem powers and actually using them as part of her rage, hence the shots we see from the Third Temple! She’s going to be terrifying, y’all, and even more of a match for Yunnan at this point… And Anne, poor Anne’s going to be caught between TWO toxic friends!

           Both mean well, but both have other bad points… And it just means Anne’s gonna have to forge her own path, make her own decisions and group and faction, be her own person and take initiative once more! But it’s also gonna be lonely and could contribute to more trust issues along the way… And maybe she’ll think she can only trust herself, only do things on her own, and how this might pair badly with her selfless martyr-complex. We’ll have to wait and see, though… We’ll have to wait and see.

[obaby-me]

Please Stay

Author’s Note:  This is raffle prize fic for @socially-awkward-lvl-over9000!  Romance and angst, just as requested.  Hope your heart breaks, but in the best way.  (This is a continuation of the Anxiety headcanon found here:  https://obaby-me.tumblr.com/post/617140937244786688/an-mc-that-has-really-bad-anxiety-but-likes, and https://obaby-me.tumblr.com/post/617232394679894016/anxiety-anon-here-i-love-your-headcanons-they) 

When you first came to the Devildom, Levi wasn’t exactly thrilled to have you, to be quite honest. Another normie in his house!  Just what he needed, more people to judge him.

And then, Lucifer assigned you to his room!  His room! Lucifer didn’t give him any choice in the matter.  Not unless he wanted to be hung upside down from the chandeliers for the entirety of your stay.  And you’d still be in his room.

In the beginning, you spent your time curled up in his room by the tank, just watching him. Sometimes you’d open your mouth like you wanted to say something, and then immediately you’d clam it shut.  It was unnerving to have you stare, but the silence was worse.  Especially when he realized it was because you were too frightened to talk.

In his own awkward way, he tried to make conversation with you.  And in your own awkward way, you reciprocated.  It was a slow going pace, but that was okay.  He needed that as much as you, as you two slowly adjusted and became more comfortable together.  There was no pressure to impress, no judgement on your part for how nervous he could be—you were in the same boat!

Slowly your conversations began to pick to pick up speed, as commonalities between you emerged.  You had a love of the deep blue, that was why you were in his room after all.  You took a liking to Henry, and for your respect for his fish, he in turn respected your narwhal, Sparkle.  You weren’t quite an otaku, but you certainly weren’t a normie either.  You loved anime and you loved karaoke, and you loved singing anime openings and endings in karaoke!

You were a good listener, and never minded when he’d go on and on about his passions.  And in the rare instances that you’d get enthused to share yours, he didn’t mind giving you his utmost attention.  He rather liked it.  You were as in love with things you cared about as he was about his—you understood him in a way his brothers never could.

As you grew closer as friends, the closer you seemed to sit.  As days passed, you inched your way closer from across the room to cuddled up beside him as he raided.  And he was surprised to find that he was quite comfortable with that.  He preferred it.

And then, you started sleeping in his room!  It started with naps, and then it became accidental sleepovers where you’d pass out during late night marathons, and then, you just sort stayed and he never asked you to leave.  Soon, it just became the new normal.  And Levi liked that.  He liked you—really liked you, more and more each day.

But he found that it wasn’t just him you were becoming more comfortable with.  You were slowly opening up to all his brothers as well, and soon his room because a lounge.  Even Lucifer was showing up.  Coming by to constantly check in to ask if you’re doing well, and if you’ve eaten, and if you need help with school work.  Menial chatter.  All the time.

Mammon was an absolute nightmare, barging in at all times without a knock, without a text for warning. Obnoxiously loud, constantly startling him, but worst of all you.

Each and every time he’d have to hold you while you shook and came down from the shock, as he hissed at Mammon to shut the hell up.  Bickering in hushed voices until Mammon would huff and get in beside you to chat with you about the scummy scams he pulled.  Levi would never understand why you put up with him.  He wasn’t worth your time.

But he’d bring you little things, with narwhals or little sea creatures on it and you’d smile and laugh. Levi hated when he did.

Asmo was a frequent visitor, but he never stayed long.  He’d come in practically singing to show you catalogues of items to decorate your room. He was so eager to get out of here. And every time you gave him just a little more to add, the more Levi’s heart seemed to drop.  Did you really want to get out of here that bad?

Beel and Belphie were definitely a pair he was becoming to despise.  The way they draped over you when they’d come to visit!  While they were the quietest of the brothers, Levi thought they were worst.  To have them come in here and put their hands on you!  It made Levi’s blood boil.  Belphie curled up into your side as if he were a cat, and Beel sitting on your other side as he munched on treats.  And you never fought them on it.  You just quietly accepted it, carrying on as if this was becoming your new normal.

But even Beel and Belphie didn’t compare to Satan.  Levi was beginning to hate him most of all.

He stops by pretty rarely unlike the rest of his brothers, and when he did, it was always for just an hour or so drink a little tea and eat some biscuits and some light studying—sometimes just to lend a book with you with eared pages and sections he wanted you to read.

Of his brothers, the fact that he was hardly tracking into his room should have been something Levi would be thankful to him for.

But the problem wasn’t him coming into his room.  It was taking you out.

Out of Levi’s room, out into the Devildom to libraries, restaurants, shopping centers.  Levi offers to take you instead, and he was able to take you out bustling otaku dream strip of anime themed cafes and stores specializing in manga, and figurines, and the arcades—it was the absolute best of the best of the Devildom for any otaku!

But the crowds, and the chatter of so many seemed to overwhelm you.  He hadn’t quite planned well enough for this, and so he took a teary you home, feeling rather guilty.

Instead, you now took trips with Satan, strolling through Devildom on perfect itineraries with few crowds, sharing parfaits and cakes.  Levi seethed every time the two of you went out.

As the weeks passed, he began to notice more and more that you visited less and less.  You still came by, but he found himself feeling somehow lonelier than he’d ever been before meeting you.

He asked you once, when your phone rang off, and you stood to leave, “where are you going?”

“To see Satan!  He’s teaching me magic.”

You smiled so brightly, the nervous smiles he knew when you’d first come, just blooming.  And not for him, not with him.  You were off and out the door.

What broke his heart, the final straw, was the morning he saw you coming out of Satan’s room. Rubbing your eyes tiredly as you traversed the hall to your own to get ready for class.  “W-what was she doing in your room!”  He wailed.

Satan only smirked. “Nothing at all.  She just happened to fall asleep while studying is all.”

He wished he could say he was angry.  Angry enough to punch that smug grin of his little brother’s face.

But instead all he felt was an overwhelming weight on his chest—crushing his lungs.

Satan must have been expecting a fight out of him, and he could see his brother’s brows furrow when the brawl never came.  “Hey, Levi—” Satan began, reaching out a hand.

Levi was quick to smack it away, and trudge back to his only haven, and lock himself away.  He skipped school, much to Lucifer’s disappointment. He ignored texts, and then calls, and his door remained locked, even to you.

But it hurt being in his room.  It hurt to think of you.  And to think of how much he’d liked you.  Of all things he wanted to say and then didn’t.  And then of how you abandoned him for his brother—and he couldn’t really blame you.  When weighed against Satan, who in their right mind would choose the gross otaku?

Somehow he was more alone in the one occupant room than he had ever been before.

At dinner, when he did not appear, Lucifer came to speak with him.  Levi ignored his knocking and requests to open the door, until the prideful avatar was threatening to break it down.   Complying, Levi opened the door but a crack, but it was enough for Lucifer to see red, puffy eyes and cheeks stained with trails.  Any anger Lucifer had died in his throat.

“Just leave me alone,” Levi whispered.  “Please.”

“Levi, why did you skip school today?”  Lucifer looked as stern as ever, but his voice was laced with concern.

“I—I don’t want to talk about it.”

There was a pause as Lucifer considered his answer.  “How long do you intend to be absent?”

“Until it stops hurting.”

Worry flashed in his eldest brother’s eyes.  “Are you injured?”

“No.”  Levi said with a finality that Lucifer did not question.

“I will check with you again tomorrow.”

It was three days before anyone other than Lucifer saw or heard from Levi again.  He’d been in his room living on the snacks he had stashed in his room.

“Oh!  L-Levi!”  You called to his as he was raiding the fridge.

He froze, blood running cold.

“You’ve finally emerged,” you tentatively teased as you approached.

“Yeah.”  He muttered, avoiding your gaze as he filled his arms with anything not tagged with Beelzebub.

“So, are you uhm, playing a newly released game?  Maybe, watching a marathon?”  You asked, your voice coming closer.

Quickly he moved away, go the long way around the island counter and towards the door.  “Y-yeah, something like that.”  He mumbled as he strode past.

“Oh,” you whispered sounding disappointed.  “D-do you think maybe I could join you?”  Your voice wavered, and he knew, he just knew you were staring into his back with those large doe eyes, and if Sparkle was with you, probably fidgeting with its little horn.

He couldn’t say no to you. It was easier with a door closed, or through a phone.  But not like this, out in the open.

Not when you latched on to his arm, and forced him to look down at you.

Damnit.

You watched him play newly download DLC, commenting every so often, cracking jokes, like you used to.

And he let you.

You fed him chips so he didn’t have to let go of his controllers, just like you used to.

And he let you.

You pulled a blanket around you both, and you cuddled into his side, just like you used to.

And he let you.

But it didn’t feel the same. His heart still maintained that flustered flutter that you pulled from him with your every action, but every beat stung.

As the night wound down and he watched the credits roll, you gently ran your hand up and down his arm, a gesture meant to soothe him as you asked a painful question.

“Levi, can you tell me what happened?  I mean, it’s okay i-if you don’t want to.”

He couldn’t find a way to answer and fully express himself.

He thought he was special to you.  Just like he thought you were special to him.

He thought that you liked him and his room, and his bed.

He left you in silence, during which you fidgeted.  “I—I’m sorry,” you whispered, and he felt you detach from him, shifting as if to stand.

His hand was quick to catch yours, faster than his brain had thought it through.  You stared at him rather wide-eyed.

“Don’t go.”  He pleaded.  “Stay here.”

“O-okay,” you promised with a nod and a small smile.  “I’ll stay a little longer.”

“H-how long is a little?” Levi shyly asked.

“Well, I have a magic lesson with Satan—”

His arms were suddenly around you and he yanked you into him, his face buried into your shoulder. “Stay here.”  He asked again, his voice wavering.  “Don’t go to him.  Stay with me.”

“L-Levi?”  You questioned, nervously, your hand gently rubbing his back.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want you to go.” He choked.  “I don’t want to have you leave me and go to Satan’s and stay in his room.  I don’t want you to choose him over me.  I don’t want you to love him.  I want you to love me.”

He could feel you warm beneath him.  “L-love?” Your voice shook, and your hands stilled.

His heart was sinking slowly into his gut with dread, but his arms refused to loosen, as he tucked his head further into your neck.  “Please,” was all he could think to say.  “Please stay. Stay with me.”

[laurelsofhighever]

The Falcon and the Rose: Feathers and Petals

An extra scene from Chapter 64 of the main story

Read it on AO3!

----------------

“So, how are things?”

Alistair bit the inside of his cheek, in nowhere near a good enough mood to answer Teagan’s probing. His folded arms he could blame on the cold, his scowl masked as a frown of concentration, but the only people worse than servants for gossip were soldiers, and as he stood on the edge of the lists in Castle Cousland’s bailey, he felt the itch of sullen eyes on the back of his neck. Gideon, relieved of command of the house guard thanks to the loss of his hand, had been given the position of armsmaster in lieu of anyone with more experience, and the grizzled old veteran had spent the better part of the morning ignoring him as much as deference would allow. It increased the difficulty of their task to fill the depleted ranks of Highever and royal guard, but Alistair relished the surly looks passed to him from the ranks; they fuelled the banked embers of righteous anger that still smouldered in his chest.

Undeterred, Teagan examined his glove. “I heard there was an altercation.”

He snorted. His argument with Rosslyn hadn’t exactly been quiet, and the subject of it was by now fireside conversation for every busybody from Tarleton to West Hill. But Maker, the look on her face as he left her, the blood seeping between her fingers from her reopened wound…

“Did you try apologising?” Teagan asked.

And just like that, the anger was back. “I tried grovelling,” he snapped. “She didn’t want to listen.”

“Ah.”

An hour he had knocked on her door, until his knuckles were bruised and his voice hoarse from trying to coax her out to talk to him. In the end, he had stood with his forehead pressed against the wood in just enough quiet that the crying she tried so hard to muffle struck him in every beat of his heart. He had wanted to hold her, bury his head in her neck, apologise in every language he knew, beg her on his knees, make her listen, but in the end he had sloped off like a chastised cur to his own cold, empty room and a feather bed that might as well have been a slab of marble for all the sleep he got.

“Well, I can’t say I blame her,” Teagan sighed, and only arched a brow when Alistair turned on him. “Do you, Nephew? Of all the spectacular ways to betray someone’s trust, this was one I would never have expected.”

“We did it to protect her,” he ground out. “To prevent the exact thing that happened. And now she’s going on about revenge and making Howe suffer and she can’t see what it’s doing to her.”

Teagan chose not to reply, but Alistair had been on the receiving end of his uncle���s disappointment enough times to recognise the undertone in the sigh let loose as the latest batch of potentials stepped into the arena. The soldiers had been hand-picked by their superiors for their skills and their initiative, and would be tested for days yet as their numbers were whittled down. Rosslyn’s sergeant Riley, the one who had gone after Howe, was among them, though he had yet to take his turn in a bout.

As the two soldiers touched swords to begin their fight, Teagan drew breath again.

“It can’t be easy, having so many threads snapped at once like she has,” he said, as if remarking on the weather. “She was bound to break from the strain eventually. I was just hoping you had learned since last time.”

“What do you mean, last time?” Alistair asked tersely.

“The last time she found out you were keeping a very personal secret from her, and I told you that no good would come of having so little faith in her, and that she had too few people to lean on without you making it worse – do you not remember?”

The indignant retort died on his tongue as the details of what his uncle was saying snicked into place. Summerday. In the flush of his worry when he first heard the news, the feeling of her drowsing against his chest in the library, warm and safe and untroubled, he had forgotten. The time when she hadn’t known his parentage was so long ago, meagre compared to all the other hardships they had been through, and without Teagan to point out the similarities perhaps he might never have made the connection between that lie of omission and this. His mind fumbled for excuses, but they died, too, turned into accusations before they could even crawl up his throat.

“Oh good, there is some self-awareness in there. I was beginning to wonder.”

“What do I do?” he asked.

“You know the lady better than me.” His uncle shrugged. “But if I were you, I would think about any action before rushing off to play the gallant knight.”

With a conciliatory pat on the shoulder, he ambled away, leaving Alistair to wallow in the tailchase of his thoughts as the bouts continued and the guard recruits were picked off one by one either by Cailan’s guard-commander or by Gideon. Nobody spoke to him. Exhaustion gnawed worse than the wind holding the promise of more snow. It wasn’t just shame or nightmares of losing her that had kept him awake the night before, but the absence of her shape at his side, the resounding silence where her heartbeat should have been. It had been the tired smile she had turned on him that day in the library, with her cheeks pale and her eyes glazed beneath heavy lids, and his heart thundering in his throat for how much it had taken to rouse her from slumber, that had made him decide to keep Howe’s capture from her. All he had wanted was to give her breathing space, a moment of normalcy. He had wanted to pretend.

The instant Gideon called the recruits to break for food, the tension in Alistair’s shoulders snapped like an overdrawn bowstring and he turned from the lists, his strides eating up the ground regardless of the patches of ice still lurking on the path cleared that morning, until he forced himself to stop at the top of the keep steps. As much as he wanted to find Rosslyn, if he imposed upon her without knowing what to say, he would only make everything worse.

Woodsmoke curled in the bite of the lowering weather, the cold stinging his fingers despite the thick leather of his gloves. Too many Cousland guards on the wall were glaring at him from within the safety of their helmets. With a sigh, he leaned against the crenellations and looked out to the barren line of cliffs and the white-flecked sea that stretched beyond to the horizon, the land that Rosslyn loved so much and had fought so hard to free.

Immediately below him on the sunward side of the curtain wall, the castle’s gardens were laid out in formal lines, the softer planting between the shrubs lost to snowbanks and the manicured spires of topiary turned to stone by their white heapings of snow. No footsteps disturbed the pristine walkways, but as he watched, he caught flashes of colour as birds argued and flitted among the branches of a small tree laden down with golden berries. Rosslyn had told him about the gardens over breakfast on bright mornings in Lothering, but since waking the weather and her own slow recovery had so far prevented her from venturing into it to wander as she willed. He had promised to take her when she was stronger, to let her show him her favourite places.

He dropped his head into his hands. The eyes on his back watched him colder than the crackle of frost in the air. The argument played over in his mind, the way she glowered at him as she leaned on the enchanter, Fergus struggling out of bed to go after them, the whole garbled story coming out with the cascading horror of an approaching avalanche as every one of his precautions to keep her safe came undone.

A weak flare of sunlight had broken through the clouds, but it offered no warmth. As he turned to leave, however, thinking to scrounge some food from somewhere before he had to face the world again, his eye snagged on a splash of red that had gone unnoticed before. He leaned out as far as he dared over the parapet to get a better look at it, and found a spray of roses as wide across as his palm blooming on the end of a nodding cane that had been grown against the shelter of the wall and lay just within the reach of his hand. He stretched for them, scattered snow to the shrubbery twenty feet below. The flowers were deep as spots of spilled blood against the white and offered up a ghost of sweet scent despite the cold as he cupped them in his fingers, but most were past their best, frost-damaged or shrivelled with damp, and far away from the richness of their summer beauty.

“There, that’s a little better,” he muttered to himself as he carefully dusted the last remaining crumbs of snow off the petals. It might not make much difference to the blooms themselves, but it would reduce the risk of the whole cane snapping under the weight of the next snowfall, and would stop rot getting into the quick.

Satisfied with his work, he almost let the cane go, but faltered. The roses would not survive the cold. There would be more roses in the spring, true, but the ones here and now that had survived neglect and battle would be gone. He thought of Rosslyn. He thought of the conversation he had shared with Fergus in the taproom of the Narwhale. He thought of the shape of the future, and his own stupidity, and the promise he had made to himself never to see her so lost as she had been that night on the march from Aeylesbide, when she had stormed at him and then sobbed in his arms because she thought she was the only one left.

“Sod it all. I can keep something from spoiling, at least.” He reached into the mass of blooms and snapped the stem of the one with the least bruising, and without caring if anyone saw, tucked it away in the folds of his collar to keep it safe.

[whenimgoodandready]

4 years ago, I heard about “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”. I didn’t think much of it, but I gave it a shot (it was like a childhood callback to my “Sailor Moon” phase when I was younger) to see how it was. I made a little review about it to let everyone know what I thought and after a couple of more episodes, I was drawn to it! A twist on the Magical Girl genre of the heroine open with her being magical and fighting villains while still going about an everyday life. Neat characters, funny dialogue, cool storylines, original music scores, plot twists and the shipping dramas! I was so obsessed I made fanart/animation, bought whatever merchandise there was of it! (Star and Marco’s Guide to Mastering Every Dimension (original and Stump Day Edition) and The Magic Book of Spells) and been having dreams of the show as well! My reviews have changed since the first season. It started out as just words, but then came frames and then later pictures and now, finally gifs! Writing is my passion. I just love writing down how I feel about things and having others see it and what I have to say about it as if I’m a voice to the people. Speaking of which, I gotta get to this finale review before I’m over my writing limit is up. Lol!

We open with what we saw in the promo for finale. Star transforms in her golden Mewberty form getting ready to enter the portal to The Realm of Magic, say The Whispering Spell there and destroy all the magic. Despite the major drawback to the aftermath (No Starco😢). She turns down Eclipsa and Moons advice on taking on Mina all together and is just single minded on her plan. Star, maybe that would’ve been a better idea. You know, like the whole Total Annihilation Spell thing that Eclipsa used! That could still work! Huh!? HUH!? HUH!? C’mon!!! (are we not gonna call her out for making a hasty decision based on her impulsive anger from her Moms betrayal!?) Before that however, she didn’t tell Marco the bad news of her plan to save him from heartbreak and Hekapoo was cool with Star going forward with her plan. Uh, seriously Hekapoo!? YOU’RE GONNA DIE! WHO’S THIS CHILL ABOUT DYING!? Guess after literally everything she thought, “Eh, I lived a long life. Besides, magic sucks a**”. Okay, I mean, if that’s how she feels then.

Marco goes with her and after getting one last back handed burning slap on the head (“Running with Scissors”), takes the wand from Moon and gives it the old “Marcos wand” look! (“Deep Dive”) Unknownst to Moon that he’s used it before. (the drawn on mole would’ve been a nice touch. I’m just sayin’). This is it! Their one last adventure before the whole things over. With that, they hold hands (Marco choosing the top arm of Stars left) and walk into the portal to destroy the magic. Oh God!

They arrive in The Realm of Magic and Star tries to do The Whispering Spell while Marco eats pudding that Glossaryck left behind for him and Star. Unfortunately, Star starts to lose her memories and Marco realizes he’s still fine. He finds out it’s the pudding! The Pudding!? OMG! You mean to tell me this is why Glossaryck kept eating pudding the whole time!? Not just because it was delicious! WOW! Marco shoves some pudding in Star which help keep her memories and then they see..............

Thomas Draconius Lucitor! Riding on the corrupted dark unicorn from “Mama Star”! Hey Tom! How you been!? Haven’t seen you since well, that episode I just mentioned! Last we checked, you were stuck in your demon form on fire and with that seatbelt still on!..............which you’re now wearing as a sash for some reason. Guess you never were sent back to Mewni, or the Underworld, or wherever else cuz no one bothered to mention what became of you. Tom, we can explain! A lot of sh*t happened in Mewni and it was all Mina (and Moons) fault! Also Starco is for finally canon and Stars gonna destroy the magic! Btw, why do you have glowing blank eyes like Stars real/fake ancestry?....................Tom, you’re scaring us............Tom, why are you charging at Starco!? Are you pissed that they forgot you!? TOM! TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Back on Mewni, River and Eddie finally make it to the sanctuary to save Globgor and just before they could open it, Mina catches them and the two biggest idiots of Mewni accidentally blurt out what they’re gonna do! (face palms). No thanks to that, Mina now tries to get into the sanctuary.

Over to The Realm of Magic again, Marco fights off Tom using the wand by blasting every bit of whimsical spell Star does and some with his own while Star finally does The Whispering Spell and for the finale, we actually hear what all that whispering was! “Break the bond, tear the fabric, cleave the stone, stop the magic” again and again. And it works! HOLY SH*T IT ACTUALLY WORKS! I didn’t think her plan would work by doing that, but it’s true! It’s freakin’ true!

However, it still doesn’t work. I knew it, I mean, saying the Whispering Spell in The Realm of Magic to destroy all magic! Puh-leeze! It’s only for the wand! :P. Just then, Moon and Eclipsa w/ Meteora show up and decide to help. That’s the quickest moment of forgiving I’ve ever seen, after all what Moon did, Star just accepted her again! Marco finally stops Tom from killing him w/ the corrupted dark unicorn by feeding him pudding, but in the process, getting stabbed! Don! Don! Don! After Tom is cured, he and Marco head back to Star. 

Star, Moon, Eclipsa and Meteora Dip Down in their Mewberty forms (the fandom gets their wish on seeing Eclipsa do that) and are joined by the Past Queens of Mewni (starting from Skywynne not the 26 before her cuz that’s all the queens the book mentioned cuz the staff didn’t have enough time to come up with designs, personalities, history, etc for them and also Skywynnes mother, Lyric, didn’t save the original Magic Book of Spells :P) in spiritual form assisting them with destroying magic. They still don’t talk as they didn’t have time to that and cuz it’s the last episode and we’re about wrapping up here, so :P to that.

Mina finds The Realm of Magic and charges after Star, Moon, Eclipsa and Meteora, but gets distracted when she sees her queen, Solaria, and gets attacked by the dark corrupted unicorn. Mina calls out to her for help, but Solaria, the queen that created Mina, transformed her and thought of her as her answer to finishing off monsters, did nothing! Nada, ZIP! Sure she hated monsters, but did she hate monsters more than she loves her daughter!? Some things are just more important. 

After he was done with Mina, the dark unicorn goes after the queens, but Marco f**king flips the horse! DAMN! Well, he’s fought monsters, did a bunch of cool sh*t in the Neverzone, helped save Mewni twice and punched Toffee right through him! So yeah! He can flip a horse! 

Suddenly, the magic starts getting destroyed, the baby unicorns melt, the wand is no more and the realm prepares its destruction.

The Queens start disappearing with Moon seeing her mother, Comet, one last time, Solaria accepting of Eclipsas monster love and her hybrid granddaughter and most of all, Glossaryck goin’in bye bye. Farewell Glossaryck, you were pretty annoying, but kinda right. It was nice knowin’ ya. 

Star then tells Marco he needs to go up the waterfall to Earth, but doesn’t answer him on the bad news that they’ll never see each other again :’(. However, I think he figured it out from their tearful good-bye.

 Everyone comes out the well, but Star makes a big sacrifice and decides to go to Earth to be with Marco. Turns out, Marco stayed behind in the destruction of The Realm of Magic cuz he too thought, with or without magic, ღ they belong together! ღ STARCO FOREVER! 

With that, they hug for the very last time with their last bit of magic giving them their glowing cheek marks, unknown what will become of them during the destruction (possibly death) and then 💥BOOM!💥

The sanctuary is now gone along with the magic, well dimension traveling, (the narwhal blasting) and most of all, no more signature cheek marks on Star or anyone else who had ‘em on the show! And Star floats a drift on an alligator where Moon finds her riding on another alligator like a jet ski.

The new Solarian army falls apart and all the Monsters, like Buff Frog and his kids, are now finally safe from harm all thanks to Star. Destroying the magic actually did turn out to be the solution to fix everything (I personally didn’t think so cuz I would’ve preferred Star go with Eclipsa’s Total Annihilation Spell from the beginning) and Stars tapestry did predict the outcome of it:Magic gone, no more Glossaryck, Mina defeated, Monsters safe, Reconciled with Moon, Eclipsa and her family alive and well and the Monster Temple still standing, but still, no Starco 😢. However, Star was still happy all the monsters were okay, her family safe and even Eclipsa and her family safe.

With the magic gone, Mina Loveberry has been brought down to normal and unfortunately, still coo coo! Now, with the other villains in the show, most of ‘em got redeemed (Ludo, Tom and Meteora) and others died (Toffee), but our final “Forces of Evil”, Mina, who can no longer transform into her Hulk-like warrior self, still remains mentally ill (there’s no cure for that). Moon tries to talk some final sense into her and help her out with her diseased mind, but Mina refuses her help cuz despite the fact that she’s depowered, she runs off continuing her goal on eliminating monsters cuz it “lingers to her”. Well, she’s a lost cause and no one really gives a sh*t about her anymore (except maybe Manfred), so good-luck to ya ya psycho b*tch!

Moon apologizes to Star for working along side with Mina and making the biggest f*ck up in history, but Star easily forgives her since she (Star) always f*cks up too. I guess the apple doesn’t really fall far from the tree after all, huh!? Star says it’s cuz all families f*ck up (some more so than others), but that what they need to do is just live and learn from it all. So yeah, it’s true. Star heads back to the infirmary to check up on her friends and since the magics gone, those Solarian fatal wounds have already disappeared and everyones okay. Like Pony Head and Rich Pigeon! Star tells Pony Head that destroying the magic was the only solution there was to defeat Mina and save everyone, but despite the fact that she’s happy all is well and done, the tragedy of it is there’s no more Marco Ubaldo Diaz! NO MORE STARCO! IT DIDN’T LAST! 😭 He’s just back on Earth with Janna cuz that’s where they belong much like how Kelly went back to Woolandia and Talon at that Dragon Spit bar thing and that she can’t deal with Pony Heads sassy character trait stuff right now! 

Pony Head sees how heartbroken Star is and cheers her up by saying that Kelly is crying tears...........of joy! And happily goin’ on adventures with her “Battle Buddy” Jorby and that Talon is making up cool stories about his adventure to the bar taverns and it does in fact cheer Star up.

From the magic gone, we learn what became of the MHC and that they were reduced to just junk. Omnitraxus Prime is now a lifeless skull like the ones you see stereotypically in the desert, Rhombulus is now a lifeless crystal which was originally his head and his free will snake arms are now just regular old snakes and Idk what happened to Hekapoo, but I’m assuming since she was a demoness, she must’ve just turned to a poof of smoke or something. Omnitraxus was so close to be mature, but sadly he failed to realize what Hekapoo saw. Still disappointed in how Rhombulous turned out (sigh) oh so disappointed. Oh! And uh, Sean just overfilled himself on pizza. He was never important. Whatever. 

Just then, Tom shows up and he’s okay too! Pony Head didn’t mention that he was looking for Star after she decided to supposedly leave Mewni to live on Earth and I think it’s cuz she ships Starco now cuz we all know Tomstar failed not once, but twice! Hey! It’s the finale, so I’m tellin’ it like it so :P (third times not always the charm). Any way, Tom shows Star a portal that”s floating around in the distance and that it leads to Earth! (gasp)

Speaking of Earth, since the The Realm of Magic was located under Britta’s Tacos, and is now gone, the restaurant is too. Oh great! 😒 First we lose The Bounce Lounge, then Quest Buy and now the taco place! (as if it wasn’t bad enough we don’t have Starco!). The whole destruction to them was known as an “earthquake”. 

Marco is on a gurney, but he’s safe and healed now that the magics gone with that unicorn wound no longer there and his parents and baby sister are relived he’s okay. Sadly, much like Star, he's miserable without her. 

Janna rolls in on her gurney attached to a heart rate monitor and she cheers up Marco by saying even though he lost Star, they still have each other as friends. Despite the fact that she drove him nuts most of the time, he did in fact consider her a friend and vice versa. Janna then tells Marco about a portal from a distance that leads to Mewni! (gasp). Janna then tells Marco that he should run for it while she fakes her death in 60 seconds to distract everyone. DAMN! RUN! DIAZ! RUN!

So I’m guessing their last bit of magic together while embracing one last time was the result of that portal (no it’s not a “gas leak” from the “earthquake”), but how long is it gonna remain open!? Both our heroes run like Hell to see each again with a build up theme tune playing with Star punching her way through the Forest of Certain Death and Marco violating traffic laws cuz one thing is set on their minds, make Starco canon! 

Marco uses Jackies skateboard to head faster while Star turns down a friendly game of basketball with Ludo and Dennis. So nice that we saw more of the minor characters again. sk8er girl Jackie with her new French mate, Chloe, starter villain Ludo fully redeemed and happy, those two guys that Daron never wanted to exist, Alfonzo and Ferguson, fangirl Starfan13, mean girl Brittany (well finally! Where was she!? Still wish we saw Jeremy though even if he was a little sh*t, I’d still would've liked to have seen him) we even saw that creepy woman and her new dog, “Willoughby”! (”Fetch”). 

Okay enough about them, let’s get back to Starco! They’re getting closer!........

closer!.........

CLOSER! AND- 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!? THIS CAN’T BE! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I WAITED 4 YEARS, WATCHED 4 SEASONS AND WENT THROUGH 4 SHIPS (JARCO, OSTAR, TOMSTAR AND KELLCO) FOR NOTHING! Why does Daron hate us!? Huh, why!? This is it! THIS is how the story ends!? No Starco, no endgame, no HAPPILY EVER AFTER! NO NOTHING! WHAT’S IT GONNA TAKE TO MAKE STARCO HAPPEN!? WHEN DRAGONCYCLES FLY ACROSS THE EARTH SKY!?

Wait! Are those dragoncylces? Flying across the Earth sky!? Holy Sh*t! They are! 

And are those, mermaids!? Swimming in the aqueduct!? (was that a giant spider?).  

Is that Rich Pigeon getting chased up a tree by Earth dogs!? 

Did a helicopter just fly by the Cloud Kingdom over the Pony Head family!? 

Whoa! Whoa!.....WHOA! Are you telling me, that Earth and Mewni have merged into one whole dimension and that it’s now Earthni!? Was it that last bit of Starco magic from the embrace that caused that portal to open and explode to do this!? WOW! Now I get it! “Cleaved”! Good one there, good one! Okay, so it’s a little hectic what with the two worlds becoming one thing, but maybe with time, everyone will get used to it (shrugs).

So if the two worlds merged then that means.............................

STARCO AT LAST! The final unification! Better than the one from “Battle for Mewni”, not awkward like in “Lint Catcher” just pure unadulterated Starco and with their beautiful theme music playing once again to emphasize it. They meet, they smile, they walk towards each other and...............they say Hi. No big kiss or hug or even a silent stare, just plain old “Hey how ya doin’?”. It’s a little tame, but considering this is a children's show, it’s still sweet and more importantly, it was endgame ;). 

🎶 I wanna be your endgame,

I wanna be your first string,

I wanna be your A-Team,

I wanna be your endgame, endgame 🎶

Since Star Butterfly wasn’t there to do her closing inner monologue like how she did with her opening one in the pilot of the show, I’ll be doing it here. So the show ended with Starco like we all hoped for except with the unexpected twist that both their worlds, Earth and Mewni, collided together. Never in a millions years would we have thought this would happen! I’ve seen fan works of Starco either living together on Earth or living as royals in Mewni with their “Starco child(ren)”, but the fact that we got a best of both worlds finale was a huge surprise! Now the happy couple can still be with their families and friends and even have Meteora and Mariposa grow up together like they promised they would. If you ask me, this sounds more like a new beginning, like how are the Humans and Mewmens gonna adapt to their new surroundings and interactions among each other like it’s the start of a whole new season! But I guess that was left to the fans to use their imagination on how that’ll go cuz so many people already had left the show to pursue other things and that they needed to wrap it up quickly. However, we’re still left with some unanswered questions such as why we didn’t see the Septarian, Seth, and how he was the head honcho of the Septarian army cuz he was a big deal in The Magic Book of Spells and since that book was foreshadowing everything in the final season, I assumed we might’ve gotten a look at him and maybe have him make an appearance since it was last said he disappeared, but I guess like in the book, he’s history. Second, there’s Toffee, from the very beginning he wanted the magic destroyed such as having Star use The Whispering Spell in the Season 1 finale and then corrupting it in the tv movie and it wasn’t until near the end where Star realized he was right to do so after all the chaos that’s been goin’ on. Granted it wasn’t for the same reasons she wanted, but overall just doing away with it to not give anyone an advantage to use against someone. I actually thought (like some fans) that he’d come back again, cuz he was mentioned a lot and it was hinted in the final seasons episode premiere about the use of magic and that he might’ve, but after two seasons and a movie, I suppose it was enough and at least he got a cameo in one. Still, his actions were a big concern for Star. Thirdly, the rebel princesses, last we saw, Meteora blew up the whole school after finding out about her true background and we never saw what became of ‘em. Hopefully, they’re fine like Pony Head is and that our minds shouldn’t go into a dark place thinking about that. Speaking of darkness, monster arm, he looked to be hinted at coming back after his defeat, but instead he was just left as a scare gag and irrelevance to the plot. Lastly, the same goes for that mysterious sun/moon/star room in St.Olga’s. It looked to be a big plot point to bring up in a later episode, but alas, we got nothing out of it! We suspected it had something to do with The Blood Moon, but even that was all for nothing! Never did we find out what that room was supposed to mean and I guess it was never meant to have been pointed out in-universe cuz that was for us fans to see it as an up and coming big Starco moment like how the Blood Moon was never magic and that it was just a gimmick with the whole “soul binding” thing to spice up it’s appeal. The finale was good. Could’ve done it as an hour long special or tv movie to close it off, but since Daron and the staff kept goin’ through so many changes in episode plots (and believe me, I’ve seen plenty of “what-could’ve-been” plots like the original idea for the show with Star younger and non-magical annoying everyone around her with her big imagination of her being a magical girl princess), I kinda think maybe they rushed into it, but even so, it was a nice finale and it left a good memory for me. I found some nice people through this fandom and just to name a few there was that ever popular head cannon blog, @svtfoeheadcanons which than went onto @seddm. Thank you for your words and blog and answering some of my questions (even though it was kinda anon, but I think you might’ve recognized me from my writings) you are brilliant, @moringmark, your comics of the Starco/Jarco child clashing story were fun as well as your Starco Child Headquarters comic and I am now enjoying your “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” parody of the Past Queens of Mewni and also the Meteora and Mariposa comic, thank you for your comics, I always check on and comment on ‘em and last, but certainly not least, my good svtfoe friend, @agentpfangirl1997. Hey girl! I love how I found her and we chatted about what we thought about the show and checking each others reviews and fan arts of it. Her drawings are awesome! Glad I got to know such a great person. Even with the show, we still keep it alive through our love for it and will treasure it for years to come. Thank you, Daron Nefcy! @daronnefcy 

[fortunatowrites]

University of Bones

Prompt: In the dark future, the only safe zones for people are Universities. You’ve just been accepted into a prestigious University but unfortunately, they do not have room and board. You’ll have to fight your way to school.

The World: Once it was a beautiful place with ultimate peace for all on the horizon. Then the penguins went extinct without warning. Narwhals vanished completely from human interactions, polar bears started hunting in entirely different ways, and the number of seals dropped dramatically. No one is sure of how many species went extinct before trouble was noticed, but everyone remembers it started with the penguins. That was when the world went into panic mode, trying to find out what was wrong and how to combat it. By then, it was already too late.

    This world is not the former shell of what it once was; it’s a long-distant and forgotten cousin of that world. Wastelands now cover almost as much of the world as the oceans. Towns are built around bases with the soldiers and fighters now treated as the great heroes of this time. Adventuring is a viable career, despite the high mortality rate.

Armies of the rebuilt nations are what protect this world, adventurers are what help supply it. The largest armies are around the capitals where the majority of scientists go, devising new ways to combat threats or improve weapons. Those armies protect the safest places in this world: Universities.

    This world has a very strange semblance of normal now, but Adrian felt averagely normal. He finally felt he was going to change that after reading his letter. Adrian was beyond elated to he find out he was accepted into one of the most prestigious universities of his time: UB, the University of Bones.

Everyone who has been there carries a mysterious air about them. Usually because no one will actually clarify why it’s called Bones. This special university is highly accredited and has so many benefits; yet, there was one problem. They didn’t offer room and board.

    “They have food available to buy in the cafeteria, at least,” his dad replied as he looked over the newspaper.

    “Well… yeah,” Adrian replied matter-of-factly, “but I think my bigger issue is I have to commute to UB for class.”

    “Back in my day, I had to rip and tear through demons just to get the newspaper!” his mom added in.

    “Yeah and when it snowed, you could only sleep for an hour before having to murder a clan of goblins,” Adrian said mockingly.

    “That was if it was a slow winter, dear. Goblins love winter warfare.”

    Adrian’s mother, Dandelion, used to be a military general, but she retired after turning in an untold amount of kill-trophies for science and keep. Dande used to be very fit, but now she just did the occasional training check-up and collected reserve pay.

They basically lived off that, her reputation with the town’s merchants, and the income his dad brought home. Adrian’s father, Skullcrusher, was a respected A/C repairman with the neighboring city and this town. It was currently fall, so it was a bit of the slow season for him. This was alright though, because Adrian’s parents would usually go out together to kill creatures known as the Nest and sell Nest-logs.

    The Nest is a pest-like race of armored demons. They say in some parts of the world, there are Nest Kings that command them as civilized armies and make them truly formidable foes. Out here, they were scattered and often lived with the raccoons. A hive-mind lacking the mind. Their armor is pretty resilient, but not too tough to be challenging for Adrian’s parents. The main thing was that their insides were almost like wood and burned very well for very long.

    Adrian stood by the door and took a deep breath; he was shaking with anticipation. His parents fought back tears and told him how proud they were. It was going to be a long journey, but they were confident he’d figure out a great route that he could manage. Adrian was very nervous because he was the only kid in this town that got in to Bones. Everyone else was either driving from far away or travelling as a group.

    “I think it’s time for you to have this,” his mother said, choking back tears.

    Dande handed Adrian a revolver made of bone. He looked up at her with confusion, but she was walking away sobbing. His father put a hand on his shoulder.

    “It’s a LeMat Revolver, so it’s got 9 chambers. You get 9 shots getting to University, but you’ll have to buy or save bullets for your way home.”

    “Is this… demon bone?” he asked.

    “Oh no, something much rarer and more stable than that. The bullets are demon bone though. Very effective for hellspawns.”

    Adrian nodded and left. He was going to make them proud and get the fanciest job he could. Hell, he’d even turn back the tide and help restore the world to its former glory. With his brains at work, he’d make the world better than it had ever been!

    “I’ll even bring back the penguins,” he said to himself.

“Why would you ever want them back, anyway? They always smelled of shit.”

Adrian practically jumped out of his skin at the voice and looked around. He had been walking for only a couple of minutes and had just passed the town’s guard. A patchy fence surrounded the town’s border and a bit beyond that was the old wall, about 6 feet high… where it was still held together. People would occasionally come out to patch it, but the town as a whole voted to not put funds towards it. Nearby, the wall reached about halfway before being visibly broken. Sitting on top of the rubble-esque wall was a person dressed in leather gear. They looked like a motorcyclist, but Adrian didn’t see any bike nearby. They also had a large sword scabbard on their back.

“You a bounty hunter or something?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

Adrian tried to act unimpressed and kept walking towards an intact ladder to scale over. There were a couple of trees on this side of the wall and some green grass. The other side was immediately obvious to being the opposite. Trees were everywhere, but the live ones were scarce. Patches of dead grass could be seen amongst a lot of the dirt. There was a broken road nearby that would lead through a dead city; just beyond that he’d find UB.

As he stepped onto the road, he was hit with the hot smell of sulfur. Keeping a hand in his jacket over the LeMatt’s grip and the other hand holding onto his back pack’s strap; Adrian readied himself. That smell meant there was a Burrow somewhere near. He tried to recall what he knew about Burrows.

Generally near a habitat of creatures or campsites, Burrows were large dens dug in the ground by demons that are then transformed into big molten-like caves. Demons use them as homes and for hiding their young from other monsters. There’s usually two to three hunter-demons that stay in the Burrow; protecting and gathering food when opportunity strikes. A loner walking nearby could count as opportunity in the right eyes.

The walk was generally uneventful for Adrian. He stuck to the safety of the road and walked quietly. The day was pretty dark due to a thick overcast. In this new world the weather almost always included an overcast. Anytime the sun shined through unhindered was considered a mini-holiday known as a Shine-Day. Shine-Days were when monsters were at that weakest and people spent the day celebrating the outdoors or exploring usually dangerous areas.

Today was so dark he carried a lantern on his pack. Walking the shadows of buildings and the like was when it would be most difficult to see. As he neared the dead city’s entrance, he saw a corpse. It made him freeze and wait, hoping he didn’t just accidentally walk into a trap. After a minute he decided it must be safe and walked into the city. He was wrong.

There was the bang of a firecracker behind him and he spun around. He turned back, expecting the worst, and saw the worst approaching: a horde of zombies. Muttering curses and trying to spot who threw the firecracker, he pulled out a machete from the bag. His battle cry rang out through the sea of groaning that was now echoing through the city.

Adrian tried to keep at the edge of the horde and kept slicing at knees and necks. Either incapacitate or decapitate; great advice from his mom. It was around the fourth zombie that his arms were starting to tire from the swinging. It was around the sixth as he realized they were starting to surround him. Adrian was starting to sweat as he still tried to find who did this. Someone was releasing them from buildings somewhere nearby, that’s the only way they could have done this.

Suddenly, a flaming sword tore through a section of the horde and revealed a path of escape. Adrian ran through it and passed by the motorcyclist. They were clutching the large sword, now on fire, and swinging it through the horde.

“I can’t believe the son of the Lion almost died so quickly,” their weirdly robotic voice said.

Must be a helmet microphone or something, thought Adrian.     “I was getting cornered by an air conditioner grate on that building. I had a plan...somewhat,” Adrian responded as he helped his rescuer slice through zombies.

They began to withdraw, knowing the horde was growing way too large. It may have started around twelve, but now it was definitely over double that. As they ran away Adrian wanted to thank the motorcyclist again.

“You saved me, thanks so much,” he said.

“How did that happen?” they answered without emotion.

“Someone threw a firecracker at me and then started to let them out. They must be herding them up.”

“Must be a gang of outlanders,” the motorcyclist said.

Once they were a safe distance away, they stopped inside an abandoned shop. Adrian looked around for any supplies, but neither of them were surprised to find the entire place was looted long ago. The only way places resupplied anymore was from reverse treasure hunters and adventurers that never made it back to where they were staying.

Adrian tried to make small talk while they looked through the store.

“What’s the son of the Lion?” he asked.

“What are you talking about?” asked the motorcyclist.

“Didn’t you call me that earlier?”

“Did I?” the motorcyclist told Adrian, who simply glared back at the faceless helmet with frustration.

It was a short while later that the two of them departed. They stuck together and made it outside the city safely. The motorcyclist stayed with Adrian, despite not telling Adrian why. He kept asking, but the motorcyclist would either ignore the question or tell him to not worry about it. As they went through the woods, they were attacked by a small group of three goblins.

Goblins are short green creatures with a nasty attitude and cowardly set of morals. Which is why as soon as the motorcyclist brandished the flaming blade, they decided to apologize and run away. After that, the two of them made it to the gates of UB safely. The motorcyclist then turned to leave and wave.

“Why did you help me get to school if you didn’t have business here?” Adrian called out.

“School’s important, kid. Sometimes a cub needs some protecting.”

Then they walked out of sight into the woods. Adrian sighed and walked up to a stone pillar by the gate. There was a screen with a keypad and button on the pillar. Tons of scratches were on it from local monsters. He pushed the button and a bell sounded.

“Name.”

“Adrian Maykose,” he responded. “Student.”

The gate creaked open and he stepped through. There was a long path of stone leading up to the doors of the university. Adrian followed them all the way up to the door and then took a deep breath before pushing it open.

Inside was an immaculate hall full of people passing him by; walking to and from classes. Adrian was awestruck as he looked around. This lobby alone was bigger than his house. There were suits of armor beset at the columns holding up the roof. A trophy case gleamed proudly in the center; trophies and awards showing UB’s excellence. On the top of the case was a big emblem that showed a penguin’s skeleton.

“Is that why it’s called the University of Bones?” he said aloud.

A girl giggled behind him, “Don’t be silly. That’s just the logo of some alumni designer that made it big. Mr. Penguin.”

Adrian turned around to see she had just stopped to say that and was already continuing on her way. He had never heard of Mr. Penguin, but he must be a famous artist if they put his logo on top of the trophy case.

Adrian fumbled with his bag and pulled out some papers. They had directions for where to go for orientation of the first day. Trying his best to follow the directions through the giant school, he eventually found a group of students that looked like they just arrived. He approached them casually.

“Your first day here, too?” he asked with a smile.

“Fuck off.”

Adrian frowned as the group walked away. He shrugged and followed them anyway. Occasionally one or two of them would look back and glare, but he just tried to avoid eye contact.

The gang of students, Adrian, and numerous other kids settled in a gym where bleachers were readied. A stage had been put together at the opposite side of the room with the bleachers facing it. Everyone worked their way to a seat and waited for orientation to start. It wasn’t a long wait before a man dressed totally in rags, covering even his face, walked along the stage.

Knights in armor with machine guns slung over their back entered the room with him, but they waited on either side of the stage. Adrian thought of it as a safety precaution and had already noticed a couple of guards like that patrolling outside. You just never know when the next monster will attack.

“Welcome, future students of the University of Bones. I’m happy to say it looks like we only lost one student this year.”

There was a bit of murmuring and looking around. One of the students, covered in blood, sighed and made the sign of a prayer.

“Jimmy will be missed, but such is the law of the land. Congratulations to those of you who made it. We’ll be handing out the tests in a moment.”

Tests!? Adrian looked around in a panic. But wasn’t he already accepted? Why would he have to do that?

The two knights had collected stacks of paper and then began to pass them to the students as they walked along the bleachers. Adrian waited anxiously as they seemed to pass over him several times. It seemed like everyone else was getting the test first. Finally, they handed him a paper and he relaxed a bit. It wasn’t a written test, it was instructions for a physical test.

The paper said this was a test of trust. Any who passed the following instructions would be accepted into the school while the others would be sent away immediately without provisions. Adrian watched as everyone else was leaping on it, reading an instruction and following it immediately.

Step One: Approach the stage and leave all weapons at the base of it and greet the headmaster.

Adrian watched as over half of the other kids and an adult walked up to the base to set their weapons down. Mostly swords and bows, but someone put down a pistol. They all gave a brief hello before walking to the center of the gym to continue reading.

Step Two: Form teams of three.

Adrian looked up again to see people pairing off. The five he had followed earlier were arguing about which two had to team up with a stranger.

Step Three: Choose one team member to stand by the stage; that member will sacrifice their hand.

Adrian’s eyes widened and he looked up to watch as the others finally decided on their teams. Then he watched as the teams realized they had to pick someone. The two that teamed up with a stranger took her paper away. He couldn’t hear what they were telling her; but due to her reaction, he knew it couldn’t have been the truth.

There were three other teams. The team of the three he followed initially were getting ready to fight each other to solve the dilemma. One of the other teams seemed to be playing rock, paper, scissors to decide, but they kept playing it over and over. The last team, of those that have formed already, had that strange adult in it. The other two were arguing and he seemed to be deep in thought. Suddenly, he clapped his hands.

“I’ll do it.”

Adrian could faintly hear him do that and then he said something lamenting his last clap that made the other two laugh. They patted him on the back and he went over to the stage.

Eventually the other teams started burning their papers and Adrian looked back to it.

Step Four: Burn this paper using the flint taped below; use the rest of this paper to crumble it into a torch and allow it to safely burn away.

Adrian didn’t understand how that was, but he looked up and saw they were burning their papers without getting their hands burnt. A couple of them started high fiving and watching the stage with a smile. The rag-stranger just simply stood in front of the mic, watching everyone. Adrian looked back to the paper. Under the instructions for a safe burning was a legal bit about injuries. But hidden within them, the paper continued.

Step Five: Congratulations to proving you won’t go off headstrong at first command by reading through the paper. Please wait on the bleachers for the next thirty minutes for the next test.

Adrian smiled and looked around. There were four other students that sat on the bleachers. There was a girl with blonde hair sporting a pixie cut; an older girl dressed almost in business attire like a CEO with jet black hair; a kid that looked too young to be here with white hair and a red jacket; and finally an average looking kid who sat down at the bottom of the bleachers wearing a blue hat.

Eventually, there were burned papers all through the gym and five sacrifices standing by the stage. The headmaster called them to the stage and then brandished a giant cleaver blade; it reminded Adrian of an arabic styled sword. There were some red jewels on the hilt that almost seemed to glow.

“This is my sacred blade and it represents the will of our University. Please present your hands for sacrifice.”

All of them hesitated except for the adult who had volunteered. The girl that had been tricked to the stage looked around with confusion and fright. The others seemed to be arguing about who had to raise their hand first or if this was really worth the education.

“Eager to please?” asked the Headmaster to the adult.

“Our educations are important and I chose to come up here. I’m ready to trust UB completely.”

There was a slight chuckle.

“My, what a brave man. You are in the right place. Return to the bleachers.”

The adult looked confused and then the headmaster eased the adult’s wrist back down to his side before pointing him to the bleachers. Then they both looked to the girl, who seemed to have no idea what she wanted to do.

“Did you not read the paper?”

“They told me I wasn’t supposed to know the rest of the test and that I should come up here cause I was the strongest.”

Adrian could feel the awkwardness that hung in the air with the silent minute that passed during the headmaster’s deliberations. He didn’t have to look at her team to know her teammates were squirming.

“Return to the bleachers.”

The adult guided her back to the bleachers. Some of the other teams were starting to notice a couple of people were still in the bleachers. They started to follow them up.

“If you do not have a paper, you cannot return to the bleachers without my expressed permission,” the headmaster called out, without turning around.

The teams stopped, the girl’s teammates looked at each other as they realized this test was becoming something more than it initially appeared to be. The boy in the blue cap stood up and held out his paper to them.

“What the hell?” one of them asked.

“Trade with me,” he responded in a child-like voice.

“Fine,” said the rougher looking one, shoving his teammate aside.

The boy in the blue cap gave the rough student his paper and walked over to the other teammate. The rough student took a seat on the bleachers and hunched forward, watching the stage.

The other three on the stage promptly held out their hands, trying to prove their devotion first. The headmaster chuckled at their sudden eagerness and then quickly held the blade up. As he got his chopping motion ready, they flinched. Only one of them held their arm out as he brought the blade down.

He clenched his jaw and held his eyes shut; ready for the sudden CHOP of the blade. He peeked out to see the blade resting flatly against his wrist and let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god,” he muttered as the Headmaster directed him to the bleachers.

He turned to the remaining two on the stage.

“Where’d your bravery go?”

They nervously looked around and then were instructed to return to their teams. The five teams stood amongst themselves in the gym. It was now three teams of two and two teams of three. They all looked up to the headmaster as he began to make a speech about the importance of trust, loyalty, and secrets.

While he did this, Adrian noticed the boy in the blue cap was returning to his teammate. Looking further ahead, he saw the blue cap had just randomly walked up the stage and back.

“How weird,” he said to himself as he studied the stage.

His eyes shot wide with surprise and he leapt out of his seat as he realized the reason. The headmaster began to trail off as he noticed Adrian charging through the bleachers. He looked down to see what he was running towards and saw the boy in the blue cap holding something he took from the weapon pile: the pistol.

The other kids began to gasp and cry out with fear as they saw he was waving it around the room with a happy expression that somehow seemed entirely empty of emotion.

“What the fuck are you doing?” asked his teammate.

“Fuck off,” the kid responded as he shot him in the chest.

Adrian cried out with anger as he leapt off the bleachers and towards the boy in the blue cap. The boy turned around and aimed his gun at Adrian. There was the pop of gunfire and Adrian slammed into the boy, tumbling them both to the floor.

Everyone watching began to gasp and run to the pile of weapons. The headmaster had already stepped off the stage and motioned everyone to stand back, shouting for them to remain calm and stick to the walls. Adrian kicked away the boy in the blue cap and grabbed at his hat. With a sickening rip and spurts of blood, the hat came off.

The boy’s skin crumbled and fell away to reveal a demonic presence of silver and grey. Adrian looked at the hat, reverting into a silver helm in his hand, and muttered, “Shapeshifter.”

It roared at the headmaster and transformed its arms into bloody blades. The headmaster stood a few feet away, with his blade still drawn, and the two of them locked eyes. Suddenly there was the sound of a fire crackling and the shapeshifter clutched at its chest. The headmaster and shapeshifter looked down to Adrian to see him holding the bone revolver, smoke drifting out from the barrel.

The shapeshifter snarled, but then molten cracks of energy tore across its body, making it twitch and flinch as it began to fall apart like rocks. Still it ran towards Adrian. It was right on top of him when it finally became a cloud of pebbles and dust. Adrian winced as they rained down on him.

The headmaster knelt next to him and checked him over for a bullet wound, but found none. Adrian pointed to his machete that had fallen by the bleachers and smiled. He had used it to block the bullet when he jumped on the demon.

“You’re a brave student and I’m proud to have you here, Adrian,” the headmaster spoke.

“You know my name?”

“With parents like yours, how could I not?”

-

Most of the students were sent home, unable to pass the orientation. Adrian stood amongst the remaining 8 students that were accepted into the University of Bones.

“Future students of the University of Bones,” spoke the headmaster, addressing all of them now in his office. “I am Sir Raphael Lumingston, headmaster of this university. It is my privilege to let you all know that you passed our orientation. Some of you passed with flying colors while others simply made it past the finish line. You have proven to me that you are either loyal and trustworthy of the secrets we share here, or that you aren’t dishonest or totally without loyalty. I can say with absolute certainty that you’re all ready to learn and change our futures. We strive for the greatest education we can here, no matter what your field is. May you accept and handle the responsibilities of these coming years with grand confidence.”

He took a seat and removed the rags from his head to reveal a skull with shadowed eye sockets, each one containing a glowing orb. The other rags began to fall away to reveal a business-like suit underneath; the school’s uniform but more pristine and proper. The living skeleton smiled at them, his bones proving they had more flexibility than the standard human skeleton.

“Welcome to the University of Bones,” he said with a wave of his skeletal hand.

[analysis-by-vaylon]

The limits of violence: why Toffee won’t be defeated through force alone.

In this analysis, I'll talk about the fight against Toffee in "Starcrushed," compare it to "Storm the Castle" and "Into the Wand," and discuss the implications of this comparison. This will be the first of two analyses I have planned for the season two finale. The second analysis will discuss the finale's contrast between Moon and Star and include a breakdown of the narrative structure of both episodes. (The number of analyses may change based on whether or not I notice anything new between now and then.)

Since "Starcrushed" is still fresh in all our minds, let's first go all the way back to the season one finale, "Storm the Castle."

Re-watching "Storm the Castle"

Star rushes into Ludo's castle to rescue Marco, who is kidnapped by Toffee. Do you recall how Star handles the fight against Toffee?:

Star: Marco! Here's the plan: we're going in on the count of one. Buff Frog: That is not good plan. [Star racks her wand like a shotgun.] Star: One. Buff Frog: No, wait, stop.

Nearly everything in this scene is suggestive of modern weaponry -- of a SWAT raid, in fact: Star rushes into the room, filling it with smoke like a smoke bomb, and immediately blasts Toffee's arm off. Star tries to break open the crystal prison with a spell resembling timed explosive devices and again with a spell resembling a rocket-propelled grenade. Both of these fail. Even the chainsaw gag reinforces the idea of modern weapons. The modern weaponry is, I think, reflective of Star's youthful impetuousness, but keep it in mind.

Finally, Star dips down and breaks open the crystal prison -- only for it to grow back nearly instantly. Then, only moments afterwards, we see Toffee's arm grow back as well. I think this episode is making a comparison between the crystal prison and Toffee himself: Marco tries to attack Toffee but only ends up punching the crystal, both the crystal and Toffee are a similar shade of green, and both grow back after being destroyed. In fact, Toffee says:

That won't work again. That crystal's twice as strong now.

It's not hard to imagine that Toffee might well be talking about himself: a trick used on him once won't work again; he'll be ready the second time. Try to destroy Toffee as much as you like, but he always grows back.

Indeed, though at first it seems the wand's explosion completely destroys Toffee, we later discover he is still very much alive, and this was all simply part of his plan. This is the first time we see on-screen that violence fails against Toffee.

"Into the Wand" and History

With "Into the Wand," Star travels into her memories stored in the wand and finds the Grandma Room, where we first learn that Queen Moon fought Toffee in battle at some point in the past. The inscription beneath her tapestry reads:

The immortal monster will long be haunted by the darkest spell of Moon the Undaunted

Moon's "darkest spell" is how Toffee lost his finger -- yet the true implication of this scene is that not even Moon's magic at the peak of its power appears to have stopped Toffee in the slightest, since he later returns in Ludo's employ in "Fortune Cookies." This is the second time we learn that violence fails to stop Toffee.

The Fight in "Starcrushed"

We aren't shown Toffee's re-possession of Ludo, but here's what I think happens: out of sympathy, Moon tries to comfort Ludo -- perhaps with a pat on the head or some similar gesture -- and, as soon as she is within reach, Toffee resumes control of Ludo's body, drains Moon, and takes back the wand. Toffee waits to strike until his victim is alone and vulnerable (a tactic we see in "Marco Grows a Beard," with Star and the wand separated; in "Storm the Castle," with Marco's kidnapping; and in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown," with the attack in the graveyard).

The Magic High Commission return just in time to see Toffee graft his arm to Ludo's body, and the fight begins. The fight is entirely one-sided, with Toffee weathering, deflecting, or repelling every attack. By the time Moon is revived, Toffee has enough power to deflect her attacks as well, leading to, once again, a decisive victory for Toffee.

Tying It All Together

I think it's important to note the kind of fighting that happens in the fight scene in "Starcrushed." If "Storm the Castle" was suggestive of modern combat, then "Starcrushed" makes use of high-fantasy medieval combat -- which befits the contrast between the younger Star and the older Moon and Magic High Commission:

Omnitraxus Prime briefly threatens Toffee with fisticuffs.

Hekapoo wields her scissors as daggers and attempts to use her magic to simply multiply her force.

Rhombulus tries to attack Toffee with his fists as well as with crystals. While this briefly distracts Toffee, it doesn't stop him.

Note that, like the Magic High Commission, Moon -- despite being probably the most-proficient magic-user present -- uses her magic in uncomplicated, violent ways: she launches magic at Toffee, tries to grapple him, and duels him with a sword. You might even say that her violence is surprisingly uncreative. I bring this up because the show wants us to realize this contrast between Moon and Star -- a contrast it shows us proof of immediately, for what is the very next scene after the fight with Toffee? It's Star, and she's casting a spell:

[Cut to a close-up of the wand.] Oskar: So you just say stuff and magic comes out? Star: Yeah, pretty much. I've even been creating my own spells. Wanna see? Oskar: Yeah, I'd be honored. Star: Okay, I haven't practiced this one too much, so if your body explodes -- whoopsie-doopsies! (laughs) That's a little magic joke for you. Oskar: Oh. (laughs nervously) Star: Okay. Sparkle Kitten Fireworks Shower! [Chaos ensues.]

The reason this scene is important is twofold: not only does it show us, through comparison, what the fight with Toffee was missing -- Star's unexpected creativity -- it also brings back to the forefront an idea that has been explicitly spelled out throughout the series: Star doesn't play by the rules; she uses her imagination. Remember what Tom and Marco say in "Mr. Candle Cares":

Marco: Hey. Isn't this ... kind of cheating? Tom: You think this is cheating? You should try playing Star at ping-pong. Marco: Well, Star doesn't really cheat. She just makes up her own rules. Tom: And then she changes the rules again halfway through the game. Marco: Oh... so that's why I never win. Tom: She just does whatever she wants. Marco: Yeah, that's Star. Tom: Yeah. She is kinda awesome.

And recall the conversation between Ludo and Glossaryck in "The Hard Way":

Ludo: So when am I going to learn a Narwhal Blast? Pshew! Pshew! Pshew! Glossaryck: Oh, oh. Oh, that. Yes, well, mm-hmm. You see, Star made that up. It's not in the book. She just used her imagination for most things. Ludo: Ooh, what's an ima-gi-na-tion?

No normal person would ever think to combine kittens with fireworks -- but Star does, and that's the real point of that scene with Oskar. Star's ability with magic is limited only by her technical proficiency and her imagination. Whereas Moon was almost certainly a more-diligent student of magic than Star is -- Star doesn't need the book. Star writes her own spells; she doesn't play by the rules.

Star uses magic in ways other people don't think to use it.

Star solves her problems in unorthodox and creative ways.

Star, Moon, and the Magic High Commission all fail to truly defeat Toffee because they played by the rules: they tried to use violence against Toffee in combat -- when Toffee is clearly superior at wielding and withstanding violence. Toffee cannot be beaten with violence.

Thematic Implications

As an immortal lizard and cynical manipulator, Toffee is comparable to a number of other mythical characters. I think though, broadly speaking, he represents the spirit of destruction: the dark impulse to extinguish life and happiness. Trying to destroy the spirit of destruction with violence only adds to it. And, appropriately enough, he is opposed by the spirit of creation as embodied in Star. It’s Star’s creativity that will be Toffee’s undoing.

Nor, as some may suggest, is love the solution to beating Toffee: thanks to the events of "Storm the Castle," Toffee is now fully aware of love as a motivating force in getting Star to dip down, and "Fortune Cookies" toys with -- and ultimately rejects, thanks to Toffee's cynical deployment of it -- the notion of love being a solution to the endless cycle of fighting.

No, the key weapon in truly defeating Toffee is imagination: it's the one thing he is not -- cannot be -- prepared for. And Star is the only person who can wield it. If she realizes this and cultivates it, she will be far more dangerous to Toffee than he could ever possibly realize.

I hope you enjoyed reading this analysis. As I mentioned earlier, I'll be posting at least one other analysis of the finale soon; I'd also like to post an analysis of the book once my copy arrives. (I would highly recommend buying a copy for yourself -- it's a really good price for a hardcover, and you'd help support the show by buying it!) Please feel free to send me asks of things you’d like to see analyzed from the show.