#P E A C H Y

[actressposts]

[clownsuu]

I'll uhm, explain when it's finished. There is a lot I need to say so I guess this is a WIP I really wanted to share with you.

Did you know butterflies love blood?

STOP BEING SO COOL GUYS WHAT THE F U C K JDJSJJXISXJ

[aoitakumi8148]

𝓛𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓤𝓹 𝓐𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼, 𝓢𝓸𝓷... 𝓝𝓸𝔀 𝓖𝓸 𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓤𝓹𝓸𝓷 𝓞𝓷𝓮, 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓷...

𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓃-𝑒𝓍𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 ‹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓊𝓅› 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃? 𝐼𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 ‹𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃› 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃���, 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝑔𝑜?

I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to dull the edge of it is what I have been doing since v.1. As if something has indeed been fragmented & this is the pain of my conscious life. And every time I travel the melodious/glamorous path of frenzy, every time I complete it, I am going to experience the same precious pain intensity, purity of pain/ecstasy. I am going to eventually be bound to this inmost/overwhelming awe, this vehement impulse to feel/fondle/kiss what is loved, to kneel down before it, to cuddle up to its heart, to recompense bliss with bliss... More and more. Neither the good boy nor I are free. I do not want to be free... free from... These bare feelings are ‹clawing› at the reconstructed interpretation of the organ inside me. The great minds will not know what they have done, neither will Anthony... It speaks louder-truer than anything, but the sounds are not obvious... Words. All I possess, this rich but poor instrument for... And you always do end up in the point where...

The aesthetic masterwork, perfused with the golden brilliance of authentic ideality x pierced with the darkest blade of bitter-salty inaccessibility, inevitability, impossibility.

Excruciation, pleasure, euphoria, art. Blended together. Find yourself... or lose yourself on this journey. Emotionally. Totally. An unparalleled effect... and the lulling sparkle the vessel has never actually had. Something in this body x mind has died, and I do not know if there is a way to accept it, to recover it. I have described the lesson of unprecedentedness I have learned, not the expected story of ‹insult-betrayal-contempt›. No one will ever f-g hear it. Not from me, not in this lifetime. / Loving extraordinary is merciless a priori, დ/დ become telepathic... & the severest trial ~ the unhealable wound ~ is to be a 𝓟 son without the cause to be... *If I have to detest many donkeys for a chance to protect one venerated Father figure, I will go for it.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑒𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉... 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓅𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎. 𝐵𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒸𝑒, '𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓉𝑜𝑜. 𝐵𝑒𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊... 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐿𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈... 𝒮𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹. 𝒮𝑜 𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓈...

While I am willing to imbibe all the anguish of the human I love, to ease his suffering, the loss of us is taking its toll on me irretrievably. I see him. I see what is inside him... & I am incapable of safeguarding it, saving it truly.

I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to put up with this gift is what I have been doing since v.1. The chest is ‹cut open› too deep, the fragility of the organ is exposed... Would you allow me to grow more flowers? I wanna do it... Because it is you, It has always been you. The one who has given us everything, endued me to the brim with the intimate fatherly affection that this organ never remembered. My eternal wish & exuberant price for humanity, the misunderstood nature. *What an odious irony. / I do not know if there is a way to recover what is gone.

I would sacrifice the lot to be with the human that needs me, needs to be healed, heals me. I would rip my core out but I cannot, the limitation of freedom. *Tell me that the ‹strings of abuse/child neglect/lies› are finally cut. Tell me to ‹celebrate›. Tell me that both 𝓟inocchio/I are wrong x naive, ‹fix› me. You have no f-g clue about it. / When it is written that your starving heart must be left half-empty & helpless... No freedom is scarier than this.

Affording harmony to the sapphire star that is going to fall away... The sentiment it deserves. All I have ever hankered for. & I am terrified of that my grandest instinct x fear will not grant any lasting peace to me.

Death will do our Sun-hugged family apart ~ but I will still be yours, for ever. The core has never felt as good x feverish as it does when with you... as astray x anxious as it does when deprived of you. I am not lying to you, I hold no resentment... Let me ‹feed on› the emotions of your heart... Even if it means your pain x my love turn the vessel inside-out & your love x my pain do the same. Not blurred, always remember. Always. If a masterpiece could be made into a masterpiece, I would prefer to share this fate. My bona fide mission, however, is not allow anything to be in vain... Even if it hurts. ~ The atrophied ability to express love verbally has been ‹roused› again, in a fervidly devoted but preciously righteous way... The ‹lash› of despair, compulsion, dream, reality.

𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓂𝒷𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒦𝓇𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝑔𝑜. 𝐼𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃... 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈. 𝐿𝒪𝒫 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝟙/𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝓅𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃𝓈, 𝓂𝓎 𝓋𝓊𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓇𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓇.

...Take the whole meaning of this, its flavorful, pathetic, shameless, lonesome taste. Take it all, for it is all that is absolute. Teach me how to ‹merge› with it, the mortal desire of a puppet child, a human Mastro x a faceless observer like myself ~ & when the desire full of unexploited majesty is cutting off the oxygen to the lungs... True geniuses of any kind are among the silent. These eyeballs will not dry up, never fully. I have tried so many times to resist it, but why live if you repel what puts your ‹dehydrated› pieces together? I would spare no effort to keep them hot and uncurb what is being restrained... Nothing affects self-perception and ‹unmasks› the unconscious like sensation, nothing genuinely matters without it. / Shivering with cold, this body is burning. My atrophied reality in exchange for a moment of irrepressible happiness, agony, guiltless x not bottled up impulses ~ just a moment. It keeps consuming me without reserve. I do not need God. ✒

[pastelaspirations]

I’ll never forget you babes 😭💔😔🥺

I finally come back to tumblr and t h i s is what I see. That's it, I'm done, I'm uninstalling tumblr. Bye everyone, it's Honey's fault-

[warakami-vaporwave]

Supervisual Video 1

[edgecallskating]

Coach...er...Choreographer Cam™: Benoît Richaud Edition

[izzyizumi]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure (F r a n c h i s e) ~ Adventure, 02, tri., tri. S t a g e-p l a y, L a s t E v o l u t i o n: Kizuna, & Adventure: [2020 R e b o o t] + KOUSHIRO I z u m i + {F R A M E D In} S U N S E T {S}/{C O L O R S} + {KOUTAI} / {Taishiro} / {TaiKou} (Koushiro{u} I z u m i & Taichi Y a g a m i) {As Ship} + Koushiro & M e n o a Bellucci

+ {L O O K I N G}/A i m i n g Towards the F U T U R E {F O R W A R D}

Originally I wanted to make this for @taikouvember 2 k 2 4! (It could have fit for "L i g h t"!) {Though I made it a bit e a r l y!}

[deus-ex-mona]

scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:

[koushirouizumi]

Chanukah 2k24, Night #2 {Belated}

Night #1 + traditional Hanukiyah/Chanukkiyah!

{Personal} shot by @koushirouizumi {Do Not Re-produce My Work [*Including for @.I. Usages] Under Any Circumstances Without My Permission Whatsoever!}

*Use for specific event Chanukah Project is okay!

[demonoftheseas]

mutuals ⚠️ do NOT reblog things i have on my blog unless you want me to love you

[varlaisvea]

OC posting some more

OC: Araszha-dar (ESO)

(nicknamed Ara, later Arch-Mage Araszha-ko)

Appearance: Cathay-raht, dark silver fur with pale, "roguishly unruly" silver hair. Gold eyes. One of those people who is objectively attractive and knows it; so handsome, so punchable.

(Sorry, I have no real visual references for him. All I’ve drawn is this ~spicy art, which isn’t a great reference. But, as one of my ESO characters provided the body model for that drawing, I've included a few screenshots of him in this post.)

Araszha-dar (as portrayed by my Nightblade healer, Bree'zango) in his hometown, Riverhold. His family's house is in the back center. Breezy here has the 'subtle serval' skin markings—Ara doesn't, but i forgot to turn them off for this pic. whoops. I don't really have a 'default' outfit for him, but when he’s not wearing formal mages’ robes, he typically wears utilitarian clothes that are suitable for stealth and easy to move around in. But also, obviously, anything he wears must be stylish—for him, that usually means tight/form-fitting and a lil foppy.

Personality: Ara has the sort of personality you'd expect from someone with a -dar at the end of their name: clever, charming, inscrutable, almost certainly lying to you. He’s the sort of person who is irritatingly naturally good at anything they care enough to be good at, but doesn't care about that many things. He's well-read, having spent his youth with not much to do but read, fight in the resistance, and help take care of his siblings (+ eat hot chip and lie). Since he was a toddler, his family has said about him, you cannot spell 'drama' without 'ara'. He loves Khajiiti history and knows a ton about the aqueducts of Northern Elsweyr.

He uses he/him pronouns and (usually) the masculine form of his name. (Dar'araszha, the gender-neutral form, feels sludgy in the mouth, he says.) Otherwise, he almost never refers to himself using gendered terms, eg he and his loved ones use child, sibling, and spouse rather than son, brother, and husband when speaking about him. He occasionally uses 'Araszha-daro' (she/her) to refer to aspects of his personality, and as Arch-Mage, he uses the feminine -ko for his formal title.

“You do seem like more of an Araszha-ko.”  “I thought so too,” he said. “All of this one’s best teachers of magic either go by -ko, or would if they were Khajiit. We all like to pay homage to our heroes, yes?” He gestured to me to sit on the bench next to his desk, which he had just cleared of books. “However, Araszha’s name-title of choice will always be -dar. Especially here in Winterhold.” -Prashal, Khajiit adept, College of Winterhold, from a journal entry

Ara is very proud of his heritage and proud of Khajiiti history. He's from Riverhold, so speaks a more northern dialect of Ta'agra-flavored Tamrielic, most notably meaning that he often (though not always) refers to himself as 'this one' and very occasionally uses his name + third person. (See my unnecessarily detailed post about 'this one'—tl;dr, a northern accent for Khajiit is sort of like a southern accent in the US—unfairly associated with ignorance and lack of sophistication due to racism, classism, etc.) He is typically unwilling to drop his northern dialect to speak more "proper" Tamrielic, although he's perfectly capable of doing so. He makes a point to use Ta'agra terms for proper nouns whenever applicable (ie, Ne Quin-al, Pa'alatiin, Boethra, S'rendarr, Molagh, Nirni, etc.).

He's more culturally religious than spiritually so. He references the Moons a normal amount (ie a lot) and takes the 'little bit of everything' approach to deities that most Khajiit do, sometimes referencing the post-Riddle'thar pantheon (the Khajiiti versions of the Aedra) and frequently referring to the 'good Daedra', especially Mafala. Because he's got a soft spot for Mafala, he's also a Vivec fan, but probably not in a way Vekh would appreciate... more in the way one is a fan of deliciously gay and awful villains. (He thinks Vivec is 'more catlike than many Khajiiti gods'.)

Background: Ara’s parents never married, but by all accounts were very in love, and had seven children together—Ara’s the middle child, with three older brothers and three younger sisters. His father (Dohalim), who was born Baandari, was killed when Ara was young, in the Imperial occupation of Riverhold that occurred during the Knahaten flu. A few years after Dohalim's death, Ara's mother (Zhanna) married a friend from her youth (Issi-ko), who became a second mother to Ara and his siblings.

Finally when Hali was old enough to start learning magic, I got up the nerve to ask Mother why Araszha could not. I was barely a teenager; I remember bursting into tears when I finally put it into words. I had harbored this wish for years—I felt so much shame, having gleaned that I was not supposed to know clan-magic, but never knowing why. Mother was perplexed, but she understood that something deeper than feeling left-out was happening to her Araszha. She hugged me and apologized—she said that the clan-magic is typically passed down mother-to-daughter, so she had not thought to teach me, but she also had not known I’d wanted to learn. Ask for what you want, Ara-ja, Mother said, make someone tell you no. I will never forget it—that much-needed lesson shifted something in my mind. The very next day, Halima and I had our first magic lesson along with Palya and Erisi. - Araszha-dar, memoirs about his life as a mage

Ara actually wasn't great at the clan-magic, but discovered during that study that he was a very powerful siphoning mage. His mother did not know much about siphoning, but she helped him learn to control it, and told him he'd need formal study—maybe the College of Winterhold. Ara's stepmother Issi-ko is a curator at the House of Histories in Riverhold, and after the flu (during which pre-teen Ara was hustling to help send supplies to the south), Ara took an interest in stolen Khajiiti antiquities. He began researching them at the libraries in the House of Histories and the Temple of the Purifying Moons, and then he and his brothers (oldest to youngest: Doshan, Elia, and Mika) would try to find and liberate them.

In Ara's twenties, Riverhold was once again occupied by Imperial sellswords. When that conflict began brewing, Ara began learning the claw dance Ziz Kurah in order to contribute to the 'rain of sand' defense of his hometown. He joined an elite assassins' guild, the Ziz Zhan, from which he had a lot of trouble extracting himself after the occupation ended in 2E 582. By his early 30s, he was still kind of on the run from the Zhan and had been vaguely planning to take his own life, but instead he impulsively enrolled at Winterhold College, having been convinced to do so by a couple of mer he was traveling with, including his future spouse/co-conspirator, Eymei.

They are helping him create his own course of study! Winterhold rarely rejects anyone, so long as they can demonstrate basic mystic competency, but to hear him tell the tale, Araszha-dar sleekly charmed the wizards of Winterhold into accepting such a blatantly unserious scoundrel. Of course, he glossed over the part where the faculty panel delayed their decision because they could not even find record of a siphoner as powerful as he is(!). They told him just what I told him shortly after meeting him, which is the same thing Hlanna and Vihk and Seeks and everyone else told him too: he must receive instruction for his own safety. I cannot imagine there was ever any real danger of Ara being turned away, but it sounds like a couple of the archmagi were still a bit apprehensive about admitting someone with skill they have very little experience with. “So, this one says, perhaps the school’s records would benefit from studying what Araszha can do?” He simply suggested to some of the most respected and learned mages in Tamriel that they all learn about siphoning magic along with him—and they agreed! Ah, it is nothing to one so sleek, yes? - Eymei Gwylanwe, agent of the Thalmor, journal entry during a brief visit to Winterhold College

A bunch of stuff happens that is currently up in the air, but a couple years later, Ara and Eymei sort-of-impulsively get married during a visit to the ruins of her family's home in Sunhold. This relationship, by the rules of Altmeri Praxes, is illegal, immoral, and repulsive, so they have to keep it a secret, although their families are lovingly supportive.

As he married into a psijic Elf family, he receives a varla pearl like Eymei's (see more about this on Eymei's post). The wedding coincidentally happened during a time of high mystic potency—a bloom of bioluminescent algae and plankton that happens mostly-anually around Sunhold. The Ayleids called the phenomenon Varlaisvea, and it was traditionally the time that psijic Elves would harvest their varla pearls, making Ara and Eymei's pearls even more powerful as they are bound to each other. The varla pearl becomes very important in Ara's magic, allowing him to become a highly skilled healer as a siphoning mage, when siphoning is typically primarily used as harmful magic. In the picture I drew, he wears his pearl in a necklace, but I've since changed that detail—now, he has the pearl set into a piece he found on one of the many delves he undertook in his youth: a strange intricate bracelet...

Later on, he becomes the first Khajiit Arch-Mage of Winterhold. At this time in history, Winterhold College is relatively newly-established, and has a reputation for being a place where experimentation, creativity, and independence are championed, in contrast to (for example) the Mages Guild and Shad Astula. Ara revives an old lapsed policy of teaching every student the basics of Restoration and Destruction magic regardless of their area of focus. Under his leadership, a clinic is opened up on the grounds of the College so that the people of Winterhold may have access to the College's skilled healers. Also, the College begins a program where student and faculty volunteers teach the basics of Restoration magic to anyone who wishes to learn, free of charge. These changes are popular with students, residents of Winterhold, and most of the faculty, but there is a small but vocal group of faculty who fear it will make the College less appealing to elite families (many of these same folks opposed the idea of a Khajiit Arch-Mage, too...). Still, under Ara's leadership, the College slowly begins to build the reputation it will have for well over a millennium—pride of the City of Winterhold, best place in Tamriel to learn Restoration magic, and staunchly committed to independent study of magic.

Arch-Mage Araszha-ko in his quarters at the College of Winterhold. This is the costume I used as the base for his outfit in the ~spicy art I linked to above.

During their time in Winterhold, Ara and Eymei learn about some threats to the College—to the reputation of the institution, the building itself, the city surrounding it, and to the independent study of magic in general. They soon learn that the threat goes far deeper than just Winterhold, and that they are hopelessly outgunned. They spend their tenure there gathering information, learning as much as they can, and plotting to outmaneuver an adversary with unlimited time and resources.

This part might change completely, but currently: over the course of their life together, Ara and Eymei learn ways to combine their magic. Ara becomes a legendary siphoner; the combination of their power gives him extraordinary ability to control and balance healing and withering magic. For Eymei, the combination of their power makes her an extremely powerful conduit for life-energy, and she is able to bring suffering people safely and peacefully to their rest through her connection to the Ehlnofey. Typically this is dangerous to do with mages and people otherwise imbued with mystic power, but Eymei is able to withstand the massive energy fluctuations that come with such an endeavor. At the end of Ara’s life, he asks Eymei to do him this mercy.

Uh, he's way more of a dick and a mess than this makes him seem. I guess you'll just have to read what i post about him!

I’ll probably change this post as things change? I must grudgingly admit, this was a useful exercise.

[clownsuu]

Are they friends? Frenemies? Oh, who knows!

LMAOOO c l a s s i c Mob!Barnaby behavior

[raddest-laddest]

so i hardly show ocs just cus they’re not what i’m thinking abt most of the time, but i’m gonna throw them on here anyways.

meet my guys:

nila and florian

malaya and nek

larry and the tomato god

alvaro and cass

racism flower

and stan (wahoo)

[littlestar-center]

(Image unrelated but I’m not suprized on how not surprised none of you asked multi questions in a single ask)

[thegoldenelite]

I can't wait for Dynamite on Wednesday...bc I NEED to know what Kenny's vibes are...

[tertiarycorvid]

I w o u l d b e t h e w o r l d ' s w o r s t

a u s p i c e . I f t h e y w e r e f i g h t i n g

I w o u l d j u s t h i t t h e m b o t h w i t h

a m a l l e t .