#Over if i fucked up my deductions. talk about high stakes simulating

[mejomonster]

Im thinking about lost judgement again

Such a good game

Wanna be a detective? Thats a fun detective simulator, with a mix of random funny slice of life bizarre hijinks (like ace attorney trial for who ate ur coworkers cake, to anonymous mask wearing delinquent chasing) and sad angsty crime thriller drama (at least 50%)

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Detroit Evolution Character Studies.

If you haven’t seen the absolutely lovely Reed900 fan film Detroit Evolution by @/octopunkmedia, I highly recommend it. (This also contains spoilers for it so watch before reading this.) I’m not done with these character studies as I plan to do one more for both characters.

Essentially, these are scenes taken directly from the film where I wrote it out, action, words, and all, as well as tried to capture what I thought they would be feeling/thinking in those moments as a way of learning to write the character’s voices (or my version of them). Word Count: 2,345 TW: Cursing, blood/ injury/ death mention, brief mention of food.

Nines

Timestamp: 11:22

He carried the full coffee mug from the break room to Gavin’s desk, a spring in his steady step. Placing the mug down, he looked at Gavin, a challenge in his eyes.

Gavin looked up from his phone. “Thank god.”

Nines held back a sigh. “I hate you.”

“You love me.” Gavin sassed back.

Nines pushed at Gavin’s feet that were propped up on the desk. “Move your feet.” He listened to the small sound of surprise that came from the human and sat where the feet had been, waiting for Gavin to stop spinning. “Have you been reviewing the case?” He glanced at the inactive computer screen.

Gavin sat straighter in the chair and leaned forward. “You know me. When do I stop?” He pulled up the case file on his computer. “Our victim’s an AC900, right? That happens to be a model designed for athletics and endurance. So, her thirium pump is one of the most valuable out there.”

Nines tilted his head. “You think the killer could have black market motivations?”

“You can’t rule it out. Not with how advanced that part is. So, once I made that genius deduction, I went through a list of my contacts in the android parts market and they got back to me with some common drop sites for black market deals.”

Nines was wary of where this was going, his LED circling to yellow. “Contacts? There are black market dealers who collude with the DPD?”

Gavin sat back, posture relaxed. “They give me intel, I stay off their back.”

“That doesn’t seem legal.” it defied his sense of logic to work with criminals to catch other criminals, even if the method had some merit.

Gavin spun his chair to face him, voice becoming defensive. “Okay, Nines. Sometimes you gotta bend the rules if you want to catch a bigger fuckin’ fish, alright? I know it’s not your protocol or whatever but, that’s why you got me.” He took a sip of his coffee, looking pleased with himself.

Nines leaned on his hand. “How would I ever succeed without your obstinance and rule breaking?” Sarcasm was something he’d mastered soon after deviating and used often with Gavin.

Gavin set his mug down, crossing his hands over his lap. “Yeah, you got a real funny way of saying ‘experience and wisdom’.”

“Wisdom?” Nines almost scoffed. “Gavin, I have a database in my brain containing over two hundred thousand words in the English language and I believe you found the one that least applies to yourself.”

Gavin looked up at him. “Shuuuut the fuck up.” He reached forward to tap his keyboard, bringing their attention back to the case. “Look, if we can intercept some dealers and bring ‘em in, we’ll find out if our victim’s thirium pump has been making the rounds. That could lead us straight to the killer.” He looked at Nines for his opinion.

Nines hummed. “It’s a good start, but waiting for a dealer to cross our path could mean it could take weeks to find a lead.” His LED went to blue as he thought it over.

“Thought of that too, smartass. There are definitely some sites where black market activity is hot.” He pointed at the screen and Nines turned to look. “These apartments out in Ferndale and Slide Docks-” he moved to point at another part of the map on the screen. “-here.”

Nines considered the information and screen. “We’ll need to split up to cover both.”

“Nah, you won’t have to miss me.” He gestured to the new detective with his mug. “We’ll get Chris on one of them while we go to the other.”

Nines looked at Chris, who seemed to have a lot on his mind. “He’s been quiet, since Jericho.”

Gavin busied himself with gathering his things. “Okay. Maybe work will take his mind off of it.”

Nines hummed, watching him. “Burying troubles in work is your usual approach.”

Gavin stood and rounded his chair, blowing a kiss to Nines sarcastically. Nines turned his head in time to notice Gavin flip him off behind Nines’ back. He smiled at the antics and followed the detective.

Nines

Timestamp: 54:00

‘I need you to come back to me, Nines.’

Nines could hear Gavin, even as he was trying to search every line of his code for a way to fix this corruption.

‘You are my partner. Come back to me, Nines.’

Nines heard a glitch in the garden before Gavin’s voice spoke again, closer this time, different. “Hey, tin can.”

He looked up to see his simulation of Gavin standing there. Calling his name, Nines ran over to him. He said his name again as he tried to hold him, only to be met with loose pixels and glitching code. He took a step back, anger in his voice. “What did she do to you?”

Gavin’s voice was distorted and his pixels were out of sync. “Code’s all buggy from Ada. You gotta delete me. Delete all of this, start from scratch.”

“Delete it?” Nines felt panic rise in him at that. “No, I can’t do that. This is where I process everything. I can’t just erase it.”

“You can rebuild another one after.” Gavin looked up into the trees. “Doesn’t even have to be a garden. Hell, make it a theme park, I don’t know.” He looked back at Nines.

“I can’t rebuild you.” His voice softened. Nines had spent pain-staking hours programming Gavin’s code and making him as close to the real thing as possible and now he was being told to delete it all? He wanted nothing more than to just hold Gavin.

“Look. You don’t have to give a shit about me. It’s all just fucking fantasy, Nines. You got the real thing up there. And the only way to get back there is to let go of all of this.”

‘Come back to me, Nines.’

The Gavin standing before him glitched again and Nines nodded slightly. “Okay.” He moved away, unable to look at him as he did this.

‘I need you. I need you to come back to me, Nines.’

With the real Gavin’s voice echoing in his ears, Nines carefully and ruthlessly tore down every line of code he had to. Thoughts of the past few days, images of his friends and Gavin, tumbled through his mind as he destroyed his sanctuary, the place he went to relax and to process and feel safe. A place that had been tainted by Ada’s forced entrance.

As soon as the last zero was deleted, Nines regained full control of himself.

Gavin

Timestamp: 24:30

Gavin grunted as another fist connected with his face, breaking his nose. Faintly he heard a voice call his name. A hand reached out but instead of a punch- He jolted awake, hands reaching to fight off his attacker, whoever's hands were now on his shoulders, fighting him back. Nines’ voice broke through the fog of sleep and Gavin stared at him, calming down just a bit as he found one of Nines’ hands on his chest, the other holding his right wrist gently. Nines gave one more, comforting, “”it’s not real, you’re safe,” before releasing Gavin and standing up.

Gavin shifted, moving to sit up against his headboard as he tried to calm his breathing. He shifted the pillows behind him, all too aware of Nines’ concerned gaze.

When his breathing was slower, Gavin spoke. “What- What’re you still doing here?” He knew Nines had mentioned reviewing case files but thought he would have left, bored of Gavin. Most did.

“I stayed to review our case files.” Nines’ voice was soft, as if Gavin were a deer that would startle at a too-loud sound. “I heard you struggling.” He moved away from the bed a step or two. “I’ll go get you some water.”

Gavin shifted positions, shaking his head. “No, no, no, I”m fine. I’m fine.” If he repeated it enough, maybe he’d believe it himself. He cursed a few times, softly, as he tried to find a comfortable position.

Nines sat back down on the edge of the bed. Gavin cursed again, the loudest sound in the room being his still heavy breathing. He leaned his head back against the wall, too exhausted to care. “Guess now you know why I don’t sleep.”

“What were you dreaming about?” Gavin was grateful for the lack of judgement in Nines’ voice.

Gavin dropped his head down, shaking it as he stared at his sheets. “Nothing. I don’t even remember.” Not a complete lie, it was reduced to fear and feelings and flashes of memory now, so distorted from what it once was. “Probably bore you, if I did.”

There was a small smile in Nines’ voice, still soft but now holding a note of affection. “Learning more about you would never bore me, Gavin.”  Gavin didn’t quite believe him and Nines kept talking. “Would you like me to stay with you? Research shows that physical touch is good for humans, it releases serotonin which has a calming effect-”

Gavin’s skin crawled at the thought of touch and he began protesting as Nines continued. “-I think that-” Nines heard his protests and stopped.

“No.” Gavin shook his head, breathing almost under control. “I’ll take my chances with the cat.”

“Okay.” Nines stood. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” He turned and began to walk to the door.

Before Nines could reach it, Gavin spoke. “It was about this one night.” He looked up at Nines, wondering if the android knew the level of trust Gavin was showing. “It just makes me feel like I’m back there.”

He paused as Nines came back to sit on the side of the bed where he’d been before.

He took a deep breath. “I was a dumb kid. Dropped out of high school, fell in with some shitheads dealing red ice for a little while. I just . . . I just couldn’t do it. I stopped. And they fucked me up, kicked me out. I’m wandering around the streets of Detroit, bloodied to shit, nowhere to go. Fowler found me. He was on patrol. He just, put me in his car, drove me to a diner. Bought me coffee. Told me I could intern at the DPD for a little while. Have something to do, you know.”

Nines listened patiently, only commenting at the end. “Sounds like a happy ending. Why is it a nightmare?”

Gavin’s eyes turned haunted. “‘Cause every time it replays in my head, he doesn’t show. And I just die out there. Bleeding in the fucking snow and no one cares.”

Nines stood, looking like he was prepared to go back to the living room. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?”

Gavin looked up at him, his face illuminated by the light of the window, and didn’t trust himself to speak. Instead, he just slid over and hoped he understood.

Nines did, his LED glowing yellow in the dark room  as he moved to sit where Gavin had been. He gingerly turned so his cloth-covered back was toward Gavin. The human appreciated the gesture, feeling comfortable and vulnerable enough to extend his hand, palm up, to Nines. The android carefully took it, his synthetic skin retracting but Gavin brushed that off as him offering less skinship.

Gavin’s breathing stuttered slightly but he slowly placed his head on Nines’ shoulder blade and shoulder. He felt Nines rest his head on Gavin’s, the android’s thumb running over the back of the human’s hand.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll have you scrapped for parts.” There was no bite to Gavin’s words.

Nines shook his head. “Empty promises,” he said, a smile in his voice.

Gavin

Timestamp: 57:19

“I think I can help with that.” Nines’ voice came from the doorway.

Chris called his name while Gavin looked on in disbelief. Tina stood by Nines, Gavin was vaguely aware of her trying to get Chris to leave Gavin and Nines alone but he only had eyes for the android.

Nines stepped into the room as the two left. “Distracting yourself with work at two A.M.? Now I know you missed me.”

Gavin’s shock wore off at the playful banter. “You undead asshole. How did you wake up?”

They both approached, almost meeting in the middle of the room, as Nines spoke. “I heard you. Your voice broke through.”

Gavin backed up a few steps even as Nines continued advancing. “Goddammit. You mean you- you- you heard everything I said?”

Nines smiled. “Every word. A force you can’t live without?”

“I . . . hate you.” There was barely any force in his words.

Nines finally reached him, that soft smile still on his face as understanding shone in his eyes. “You love me.”

Gavin looked up at him and their eyes met. He looked down to see Nines’ skin retract on his hand, gently taking it into his own hands. Nines’ other hand came up to cup Gavin’s cheek and draw his gaze back to his face. Gavin closed his eyes, getting used to such tender touches, before opening them and looking at Nines. Then, they were kissing, both putting the emotions they couldn’t put to words into it.

When they broke apart, Gavin panted for a moment before speaking. “What dipshit programmed you to do that?”

Nines laughed, sounding just as out of breath as Gavin felt. “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective.”

Gavin threw his head back dramatically, Nines’ hand sliding down to his neck. “Oh, you are such a fucking prick.”

“Takes one to know one.” Nines snarked back.

Gavin sniffed, finally noticing what Nines was wearing. “This is my jacket?”

“Yeah, you left it at CyberLife. They didn’t keep my clothes.” He laughed and looked around. “I see you’ve been making progress without me.”

“Yeah, uh. Guess we’ve got some catching up to do.”

Nines didn’t respond, simply leaned down for another kiss.

[heytheresassydetective]

UNOFFICIAL RANKING OF VILLAINS

Edit: I updated the top few spots in this list to reflect how I feel now. Should I add Midnight in Salem to the list? Let me know!!

Alright, Clue Crew, here it is- the villain ranking nobody asked for!  This was harder than expected, and I tried to make a logical way of ordering things, but who am I to judge who was the best ne’er-do-well?  If you have any questions about my ranking, want an explanation, or just want to yell at me, shoot me an ask.  

HERE WE GO:

33. SCK- Mitch Dillon

Do I remember much about this guy? No, no I do not.  I remember that he was a drug dealer and wasn’t in most of the game, so I never felt anything towards him.  That being said, he did kill a high school student, so I wouldn’t mess with him.  As far as character development goes, I give him an F.  Sorry not sorry Mitch.

32. MED- Sonny Joon? Or Kiri??? Who tf knows???

The real culprits of MED are the people who thought this game was a good idea.  All jokes aside, I don’t know if I want to list Sonny Joon as a villain, because he’s been such a cool character that has reappeared (but never actually appeared) throughout the games.  I don’t like how they introduced him- a game show?  Really?  It sounds fun in theory, but it doesn’t logically lead to finding that Annunaki shit he was looking for, in my mind at least.  He could have easily found Nancy (they have enough mutual friends by now) and been like “Hey what’s up hello I wanna find this shit help me out”.  Anyway, I think his character design for the game was sloppy- they spent so much time hyping this guy up over the course of the games, and then we meet this purple-haired guy who only speaks in riddles that try to make him sound edgy?  That’s like half of the people on tumblr (no offense to tumblr lol).  This game lowkey pisses me off, and they could do better with Sonny’s character.  As for Kiri, she was just kinda there until the end when she was like “lol okay i’ll be the bad guy in this competition” no thanks.

31. SCK: R- Detective Beech

I was hesitant to put this game into the mix, but it’s only fair, because it has a different ending than the original SCK.  Detective Beech seemed weird from the get-go, but I wasn’t ready for him to pull a fucking gun on Nancy.  And if you choose the wrong things, he will legitimately kill you, and it’s extreme.  It was cool that they changed the ending, but let’s get real here, when they said there would be a different ending and then Detective Beech showed up, did anyone not think “yeah it’ll probably be him”.  There were enough turns to get me to doubt a bit, but it was pretty obvious.  So, yeah, points for pulling a gun on Nancy, deductions for being obvious.

30. TRT- Lisa Ostrum

Oh, Lisa- what a chatty character.  She literally never shuts up in the final tower scene, and then decides to momentarily incapacitate Nancy for her big escape instead of trying something more permanent.  That pepper spray had the most extra name ever, like you could have just said “pepper spray” to get the message across.  Also- since everyone is snowed in, she wouldn’t have anywhere to go once she got away.  Flawed plan aside, she always bugged me.  Sorry Lisa, take your catchphrases and bobblehead somewhere else.

29. CLK- Jane Willoughby

CLK is fine as a game, and I love the aesthetic, but it’s not one of my favorites.  I thought Jane was an okay villain, with identity theft and attempted robbery and all that jazz, but she doesn’t really stick out in my mind, save for the plethora of “you betcha”s.  The endgame was also weird to me- I wouldn’t expect a game set in the 1930’s to end in a car chase that causes a pie explosion, but less believable things have happened to Nancy Drew.  I don’t hate Jane as a villain, but this game came right after some really stellar games- some of my favorites (DDI, SHA, and CUR)- so I can see why this one felt a little flat to me.  Jane’s plan was actually pretty good, and it’s something that couldn’t be pulled off today as easily as in the 30s, so props to her.

28. STFD- Dwayne Powers

I honestly have mixed feelings about Dwayne because of everything that has transpired with his character, but attempting murder out of jealousy? That’s extreme, and I feel like it was a well-done crime, all things considered.  Plus, I didn’t notice until after playing the game a few times that Owen W. Spayder is an anagram for Dwayne Powers.  Very sneaky, HeR.  While I’ll cover Dwayne in RAN later, I do think that he would be one to seek revenge, so his return almost made sense to me.

27. SSH- Taylor Sinclair

This guy seemed overly nice from the beginning.  Cookies from Oaxaca?  You know he’s hiding something.  He was too nice to make me feel comfortable when talking to him, and locking Nancy in a grave with a corpse? Eek, no thanks.  I’m kinda peeved that we never got to really catch him, because while we were trying to get out of that stone death chamber, Taylor was captured, Henrik regained his memory, AND all the other characters decided to get all chummy with each other.  Pretty convenient ending, if you ask me.

26. RAN- Dwayne Powers (again)

Oh god, here we go.  RAN is not a loved game by most of the Clue Crew (there are some outliers who like it, no shame to them), but in all honesty, I liked that they brought back an old villain.  I don’t like this game at all, and I think they could have done something waaaay more creepy with a returning villain (it’s clear Dwayne has been tracking Nancy- he could have played so many mind games with her regarding past cases), but yeah, bringing back Dwayne wasn’t a terrible idea at all, they just went about it wrong.  His nefarious acts were more villainous to me in this game for whatever reason- maybe it was his hiding in plain sight (or hiding Bess in plain sight for that matter), or his strategic planning that showed just how far he’d go to get revenge.  It makes sense that he got away tbh- I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw him again.  If we do, can I ask HeR to make that one extra scary- he could set up a series of events that play out like all her past cases leading up to that one, and make references only she could know about, and damn this is a good idea someone hire me.

25. HAU- Fiona, like kinda

Can I put Fiona down as the culprit here?  Like, yeah, she kidnapped a guy and pushed Nancy down a hole and caused some havoc, but she’s also a feral old woman on a jet pack, so is it her fault she’s this way??  Who’s the real culprit of this game, a society that will accept this and say “ah fuck it she’s a banshee that dude’s gone pass the non-alcoholic drinks”?  Anyway.  While I like HAU and it’s quirky puzzles and charming atmosphere and gorgeous music, that ending is so out of left field it’s kind of funny to me- like suddenly the game just goes “HERE HAVE AN OLD WOMAN GIVE YOU A JUMP SCARE THEN SOLVE A HARD CHEMICAL PUZZLE”- it seems so out of place to me, but it made for a relatively pleasant ending for all, so no harm done, I guess?

24. TRN- Lori Gerard

Lori is another villain that doesn’t stick out to me, because I honestly see her as an accidental villain.  I don’t think she wanted to hurt Nancy, I just think she wanted to prove everyone wrong and show herself as a smart and capable woman.  However, the way she went about it wasn’t cool, so yeah, villain status for her.  I thought her disappearing act was clever, and her character as a whole is hilarious to me, so she’s not on the rotten side of villains in my perspective.  Lori is dramatic as hell and super spoiled so that always makes for an entertaining character, and it wasn’t SUPER obvious that they would make the hostess the culprit, so she’s not too high on the list, but it doesn’t make her bad.  Honestly, she and Tino Balducci deserve each other.  

23. CRE- Mike Mapu

Big. Island. Mike.  The man, the myth, the legend.  The Clue Crew’s fascination with this character will never cease to amuse me.  And yet, while I think he’s a fine character, I’m not thrilled by his role as a villain.  His reveal at the end just seemed so…anticlimactic?  And he seemed to quickly change his mind?  One minute he was all “we have angered Kane Okala oh nooooo” and then the next he’s like “y’all can die for all I care” and peaces tf out of the volcano or wherever they were.  This whole game was just very “eh” for me.  Big Island Mike is a great meme, and good on him for going all “fuck you” to capitalism and whatnot, but I wasn’t thrilled by his ENDLESS parade of chores and the random-ass snowcone guessing game annoyed me more than Fox & Geese (hard to believe).  Still, I’d stay at Mike’s resort if I went to Hawaii, because I think he’d be a fun guy.

22. ICE- Yanni Volkstaia

Now, I don’t want to come right out and say that ICE was made in the Cold-War era as a thinly-veiled anti-USSR game, but nobody’s believing that Yanni is really from “motherland Fredonia”, amiright?  All jokes aside, I like ICE as a game (with the exception of fox and geese jfc), and the ending had you believing there was a different villain every minute (or like, every five minutes), but I was kind of disappointed that one of the wisest, most intriguing characters in the whole game was the villain.  That being said, if you go back and play the game, you can see how Yanni is constantly talking about how wolves are bad omens and this one is a sign of evil aaaaaaaah and it makes sense that he’s trying to get people away from the lodge that way.  Also, this guy is a pro athlete.  Do you really want me to believe that Nancy Drew can run him off the snow and force him to confess??

21. TOT- Scott Varnell

TOT is kind of a breath of fresh air as a low-stakes internship simulator where you can run stoplights and take pictures of clouds and trap mice a thousand times.  That being said, I don’t feel threatened by Scott, so he seems like a more casual villain to me, if that makes any sense.  Nancy kind of inadvertently saves his life, right?  Like kind of?  So I’m pretty chill with this whole game and with Scott- at the end of the game, it really feels like nothing big was lost, but nothing big was gained, which is honestly a nice break from the mindset of “do this or you DIE BY THE HANDS OF THE VILLAIN”

20. FIN- Joseph Hughes

Why does Nancy trust this guy so much throughout the game??? It annoys me to no end that she tells him e v e r y t h i n g.  But really, I couldn’t help but feel bad for this guy.  You find out that his brother died, so he might be in denial or in the early stages of dementia.  Still, he kidnapped Maya, and almost got her and Nancy killed (whether that was intentional or not), and that last scene with him when Nancy was trying to tell him what was really going on was terrifying to me when I was younger.  He seemed sorry though, so he’s not a ~hardcore villain~ in my eyes.

19. DAN- Minette

I feel like making Minette the villain was a really predictable move, but there needs to be a predictable character every once in awhile, right?  I loved her erratic and aggressive character, but the endgame was so weird to me that it kind of spoiled the game for me.  However, I liked that HeR made Minette a designer for plus-sized women, and that plot to bug the First Lady’s dress?  Clever.  The ending with blocking Minette’s attacks will forever confuse me- it seemed very out of left field and honestly, I want Nancy to beat someone up, not just block their sound-specific hits.  I was also disappointed about Minette’s reason for her mask- they couldn’t have tried a little harder and made it some botched plastic surgery or something??

18. WAC- Corine Myers

The roommate trope!  Love it or hate it, it’s here.  I have mixed feelings about WAC- I generally like it, but the characters’ oversized eyes bug me to no end, and I feel like there could be a little more Edgar Allen Poe mixed in there, but overall it’s a solid game.  I can’t stand some of the characters- Leela is so fucking annoying (I think it’s her voice that gets to me), and the twin reveal makes absolutely no sense (how’re you gonna live two lives if you only have documentation for one person??), but they’re not the villains, so I’ll gloss over that.  Corine had a well-thought-out plan and stuck to it, even though she came close to killing a few people.  She’s a wickedly smart girl, and she knows it, and I think that’s what made her so dangerous.  Also, did Corine not go to jail for what she did?  I get that she’s a minor, but she caused some real damage to these people.  Whatever- I don’t think she’d come for Nancy for revenge, but I wouldn’t want to room with her again.

17. TMB- Abdullah Bakhoum

I’ve loved learning about Ancient Egypt since I was little, so TMB was really fun for me.  I liked Abdullah as a villain- it certainly made sense why he did what he did- but again, it felt a little obvious.  He’s too self-centered and abrasive to let anyone else get that much attention, even an unnamed villain.  Anyway, I think TMB gets a lot of flack for being forgettable, and yeah I can understand that, but it’s a solid game and that end puzzle was really fun for me, so I’m still rooting for this game!

16. MHM- Louis Chandler

Louis is a pretty tame villain, in my opinion.  I love MHM, but I never felt like the villain in that game was out to hurt me.  If anything, I was more worried about the mansion itself, because I still believe that it was actually haunted (fucked me up as a kid).  Still, he did a good job of trying to steal the treasure, so props to him.  He did kind of creep me out, and it always bugged me that he kicked Nancy out of the mansion for literally reading the same book he read.

15. ASH- Brenda Carlton

Brenda Carlton is so fucking annoying to me, let’s get that out of the way.  She’s such a slimy reporter that will do anything to get the story she wants (she is willing to dress up as Nancy and set a historic building on fire just to ruin one person’s reputation jfc).  I’m starting to notice a theme of pettiness with these villains, tbh.  Anyway, I commend her dedication to her cause, that’s something I can always respect, but if Nancy Drew can solve your crime from a jail cell, is it really that airtight of a plan??  Tbh I think the reason why I dislike Brenda so much is that she somehow gets everyone to turn on Nancy, a girl that has helped countless people and has a shining reputation.  Also she takes advantage of Ned, who is a naive sweet boy and he doesn’t deserve that!!  I really like ASH, and bringing down Brenda is so satisfying, but I can’t rank her much higher due to my bias.

14. CAR- Elliot Chen

Right off the bat- being strangled by Elliot was traumatizing, like holy shit are these games really intended for children???  Now that I got that out of the way, I liked Elliot’s subtle actions that sent Nancy off the case- helping her with Joy’s different riddles so she wouldn’t look into the accidents both played into the plot and supposedly threw you “off the case”- although it ended up helping you in the end.  Also, props to Elliot for using his talents to make forged art- I’m not saying I agree with it, but if I were a starving artist (and with my major, I’m on that track) I would get where he was coming from.

13. VEN- Helena Berg

It’s always the fun roommate with these games, isn’t it?  Anyway, I think it’s cool how Helena gets all chummy with you then turns out to be il Dottore, but in all honesty, it didn’t come as a surprise to me.  It did seem kind of weird that in a game set in Italy, the German is the culprit- I don’t see where they were going with that one.  And that final chase scene on the map was soooooo pointless- it could have tested some actual skill picked up in the game, like dancing in a cat suit.  Nancy and Helena could have had a dance-off, but nooooooo.  Also, the puzzle at the end. No.  Tbh Helena wasn’t that memorable to me, but good for her for having a crime ring, sothereyougo.

12. SPY- Ewan Macleod

Right off the bat- who in their right minds takes a letter a dead woman wrote to her only daughter and takes notes on it???????  That makes Ewan at least five types of rude.  Anyway, I liked how you start the game on his side and he’s all “oh I’m just here to help tell me what you find and we’ll get this together” and at the end it’s like “haha SIKE BITCH I work for the other group”.  That being said, I don’t think Ewan is very high-up in Revenant because Nancy could have easily killed him (though idk if she would kill anyone… that’d be an interesting concept to look into in future games).  Still, I like Ewan as a character and a villain, but maybe that’s because I like SPY so much.  It’s an emotional game- she’s literally looking into the death of her own mother- and while I don’t like parts of it (Nancy was like 3 when her mom died okay not 10 don’t tell me otherwise), I think Ewan was just enough villain for a game so invested in the past.

11. CRY- Renee Amande

One of the few villains that is truly completely off their rocker, I didn’t realize until my second playthrough that Renee probably killed Bruno Bolet with some of that voodoo hoodoo whatever you call it.  I love CRY and it’s ambience, and I think Renee fit right in with the aesthetic.  Also, you can eat all her chocolate and make Nancy hella sick, which is always a plus in my book.  The way I see it, tbh, you can play CRY one of two ways: either you can believe that Renee is completely crazy, or you can suspend your disbelief (which is fun for a few of these games) and believe in this crystal skull magic, which makes Renee far more powerful and terrifying.  Either way, she was willing to lock Nancy in a crypt and throw away the key, so this woman was willing to do whatever it took to get this damn crystal.

And heeeeeeere’s the top 10!

10. SEA- Soren Bergusson

Poor, sad, villainous Soren.  Nobody likes him so he plans to steal some treasure and possibly kill some people in the process.  In all honesty, I liked Soren as a friend and suspect, and I understand why he hates everyone in Skipbrot: they all hated him first just because he grew up a bit out of town.  While I sympathize with him, he was willing to let Nancy and Magnus just kinda die- like I don’t think he really cared what happened to them.  That’s not the way to make friends, Soren!  He had a solid plan going- he essentially let Nancy do all the puzzle-solving and hard work, which kind of happens in every Nancy Drew game when there’s treasure involved.  I really like SEA, even the sideplot about Ned and Nancy (attack me all you want), so I think Soren is an understandable and solid villain.  I especially like how you can choose if he gets a hard punishment or a more gentle one.  Also, is it confirmed that Soren was the cause of that screaming heard in the ice caves?  Does anyone have an explanation for that? Pls let me know k thx.

9. DED- Victor Lossett

Most phone characters stay in the phone, but not this guy.  He feels it necessary to arrive on the scene halfway through gameplay and turn Nancy’s suspicions on their head.  Iconic.  Honestly, Victor had the right idea by subtly hinting that other suspects could be guilty, and I love that HeR made the very guy that hired Nancy be the culprit.  It was a refreshing twist on the games!  Victor straight-up is not against frying Nancy to a crisp at the end there, whereas some villains try to kill her in less painful ways or even just incapacitate her.  While I can’t forgive him for killing Niko Jovic, one of the raddest characters we never get to meet, I applaud his villainous works.  You go, Victor.  You go.

8. DDI- Andy Jason

And here we see another wonderfully-made double persona in the form of Andy.  I’m honestly surprised he didn’t try to kill Nancy on that whale-watching tour, but his front as a marine life geek who yells “Whales rule!” at you is pretty convincing.  I was also impressed at the lengths he went to in order to frame Katie (he even tied her to a chair to make her look evil!!), and his nefarious acts hide as three separate mysteries.  I hope that hit to the head messed with his memory, because he’d definitely come for Nancy if he got out of jail imo.  I like Andy, although he kinda acts like in the end he sold his soul to the devil to run this crime-rig.  Also, he got this orca from the Russian military- I wanted more on that, that’s wicked!  I definitely think DDI happens when HeR is figuring out what makes a good villain, and while they miss the mark in later games, I think this one was pretty appropriate for its time- and I love replaying it, the atmosphere and villain and endless clam chowder really tie together nicely.

7. DOG- Emily Griffin

DOG wasn’t a scary game in the typical sense, because there really weren’t any jump-scares that made you freak, aside from the dogs in the beginning.  However, the ambience made me feel like someone was watching me, and knowing that one of these nice, quirky people was trying to kill me shows the psychological games DOG played.  I really think this was the beginning of HeR unlocking their potential for terrifying sequences, and they begin to show off in later games.  Also, while MHM and TRT had some ambience, this was the first one that really gave me ~vibes~ that added to the game.  FIN and SSH kinda did, but still.  With all of that in mind, Emily is super creepy to me- knowing that she could do all of those things and keep a facade of a chipper shop owner shows how two-faced people can be.  That endgame was so terrifying- how did Nancy manage to get a picture of Emily coming after her with a random-ass bone??  Also, I loved her little cameo in DAN.

6. CAP- Anja Mittelmeier

Alright.  I’m not crazy about CAP, but someone recently pointed out to me that it echoes past games (not sure how, but it makes me want to give it a second look), so I like it well enough.  That being said, I really think Anja is a great villain here.  She poses herself as a “let’s talk about guys and I can give you advice” kind of person, someone Nancy can relate to, especially with her guy troubles in this game.  Not only that, but Anja purposefully piques Nancy’s interest by feigning concern at first, being all “oh, I don’t know if I should tell you this” to make her more interested.  A+ psychology right there.  While I’m not totally sure most people would go to this much trouble over one guy, I applaud Anja’s pettiness and readiness for revenge.  Speaking of which, I have a sneaking suspicion we haven’t seen the last of her.  Her last line was ominous as hell and I loved it.  I’m here for more Anja screentime (gametime? What’s the phrase here?)

5. LIE- Literally everyone in that dang museum

I love Greek mythology, so I have a bone to pick with LIE.  FIRST OFF- there was no Labyrinth in the story of Persephone, y’all are thinking about the fucking Minotaur.  SECOND OFF- that stage made no sense (I made a post about it earlier, salt salt salt).  I’m not gonna spend this time talking about my problems with LIE, so I’ll leave it at those two examples.  Problems aside, I thought having all the suspects be a part of the art theft rig was… kinda cool?  And I like the characters by themselves: Niobe is sweet and unsure about her part in the group, Grigor is a classic narcissistic actor (I can relate to that 100% lol), Thanos is intimidating but under the surface… he’s still intimidating, and Xenia HOLY SHIT.  Like in that last part with the throne in the underworld won me over for her.  She could come to my place of residence and beat me up and I would thank her (honestly same for Thanos too).  I like the mix of less into the crime-y stuff (Niobe and Grigor) to a whole ‘nother level of criminal (Xenia and Thanos).  Also you know Thanos is coming back with the people that helped him escape- I’m looking forward to it.  So, yeah.  Not my favorite game, but I love the villains here, and I think they did a pretty stellar job.

4. SHA- Shorty Thurmond

Listen, I love SHA so much- it was one of the first games I played, the book version will forever hold a place on my bookshelf, and the backstory of Frances and Dirk is iconic in the Nancy Drew world.  So, since I had read the book, I knew that Shorty was the villain from the start of the game, but that didn’t stop me from liking him as a character.  He gossips to invite suspicion about other characters and is generally a hilarious character to talk to.  That makes the endgame so much more dramatic and urgent when he reveals himself as the culprit and actively comes for you.  Also, I will never forgive him for the ENDLESS chores or the “heeeeere’s shorty”.  It might be bias, but I gotta put Shorty high on the list just because I love SHA and his character is no exception.  Excellent planning, quality execution, and he almost got away with it (I mean, all of them almost do).  I kind of wish that it was more like the book tho, because he had a little group working for him and he could imitate animal calls that they used to pull off sabotage- still an excellent villain, but some more book stuff would have been cool too.

3. GTH- Clara Thornton

One of the many reasons I love GTH so much is that there’s no real clear villain.  Sure, you can blame Clara for Charlotte’s death, but after looking into all the rich and subtle history of the Thornton family, I don’t think I want to blame Clara.  And who’s to blame for Jessalyn’ disappearance?  Jessalyn?  But I digress on that point.  Let’s say Clara is the villain- she is a fully-dimensional, multi-faceted character that has as many demons as any other character in this game.  The ending of GTH is one of my favorites because you can choose what happens to the supposed “villain”- she can “disappear” and presumably die, making a full circle from Charlotte’s death, or she can be saved, breaking the vicious Thornton family cycle that took so many ancestors.  I could go on and on about GTH and what it means to me, but I won’t bore you all.  Let me just say: I don’t think there is a real villain in this game, I think the blame can be placed just a little bit on everyone, even Nancy if you’re not careful.  

2. SAW- Rentaro Aihara

First thing, SAW still has me shook to this day- I will not look in a mirror at night because of this game and everyone here knows why.  As if SAW weren’t creepy enough, replaying this gives me even more of the creeps because of Rentaro’s character.  Part of me wants to like him, because he’s socially awkward and gives Nancy puzzles because he knows she likes them, but let’s break this down: he is pushing for Miwako to close her family’s business so she can move with him to the city, which she doesn’t like that much, and after he upsets her to tears, he gives her gifts to make her like him again.  I’m no expert, but that is not what a healthy relationship should look like.  Also, he tries to kill Nancy (more than once if I’m not mistaken), and his only punishment is that Miwako dumps him? Blegh, he’s a creepy guy who tries to scare you away and earn your trust.  Try as I might, I cannot like this guy as a character- though he makes for a great villain.  Rentaro- abusive boyfriend, tries to kill people, doesn’t really get punished for anything- shit, was he actually sorry at the end or was he faking it????? We may never know.

1. CUR- Jane Penvellyn

CUR has a special place in my heart- it gave me legitimate nightmares as a kid and I was scared to finish it for a long time.  I love how there are miniscule clues scattered around the game pointing to Jane- the subplot about her deceased guinea pig proving her dishonesty (and I think the guinea pig might have died from Jane testing either the hair growth or the pills on it, but who knows), and Jane’s dialogue always trying to steer you away from an answer (she’s always like “I don’t want to talk about this” like okay let’s play skull and bones you macabre child).  This is one of my favorite storylines because it’s so well developed and thought-out, and making the child a culprit was such a good move in my opinion.  Jane’s got a bright future if she was clever enough to do all of that on her own.  However, I think Jane should have gotten a punishment more severe than a strict talk from her father- maybe some family therapy or losing her game privileges or something??  She could have really hurt Linda like jesus don’t give people random-ass pills.  Still, brilliant planning and performance on her part, and brilliant writing and execution on HeR’s part.

So there you have it, clue crew! Did I piss anyone off? Was I wrong? Will MID have an amazing villain that questions my tentative order of villains? Will MID ever come out? Let me know!