#Our first sighting of the man in 2019

[willowsnook]

Hello hello!! Just found your blog and I’m absolutely in love with your writing. So if it’s ok I come with a bar order.. whiskey with lime in a tall glass please and thank you

thanks for the kind words :)

lando norris x bsf! reader

You are mine, end of discussion

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"Dude I am so fucking excited for today," you said to Lando as you guys walked into the paddock. He gave you a weird look.

"I mean I'm literally starting P15 but I really appreciate your faith in me," he replied scratching his head.

"I don't care about the race," you quickly said before correcting yourself. "I mean of course I care and you'll be amazing superstar but did you hear who is in the Alpine garage today?"

He shook his head at you frowning. You were busting at the seams with excitement.

"Joe Burrow!!!" You squealed. "Pierre said he would introduce me and I might die."

Even though you had moved from the States a couple of years ago you still avidly followed American Football. Now the Bengals weren't your team necessarily but Joe Burrow...that man had aura.

"Were you that excited to meet me the first time," Lando asked pouting.

"I didn't even know who you were," you replied laughing and Lando's frown deepened.

When you met Lando you had just moved to Monaco and had spent a lot of days working out of a coffee shop next to your building. On a busier day, he had asked if he could sit with you for a second as there weren't any seats open. You'd hit it off when he noticed that you were working but also had your phone set up to watch the Masters. He invited you to go golfing with his friend Max and a couple of others and you just fit in so effortlessly to the group. You definitely had a crush on him in the beginning but nothing had ever happened so you brushed it off.

"I have to go get ready now, but I'll see you after the race," he said shortly and walked off. Confused you watched him go, you'd definitely pissed him off but you weren't sure how.

Spotting Pierre, you rushed over to him as he was heading to the garage.

"Can't believe Lando is letting you loose to meet Joe Burrow," he said as you fell into step next to him.

"I didn't realize I had to get his permission to go anywhere," you said sweetly and he threw his hands up in mock defeat.

"I just know that if Kika was this excited to meet another man, I'd have a problem."

"You do realize that Lando is not my boyfriend."

"Mmhmm," he replied giving you a wink.

The two of you walked into the garage and you were growing more nervous, especially when you caught sight of Joe talking to Esteban. He waved at Pierre, shaking his hand and then his eyes fell to you, curious.

"This is y/n, she's a good friend of ours," Pierre introduced and Joe took your hand shaking it.

"She's also Lando's personal attack dog," Esteban joked and you laughed along with Joe.

"Nice to meet you, y/n," he said smiling. "It's good to find an American here holding down the fort."

"Yeah I couldn't weasel my way into the NFL so had to settle for second best," you joked and he laughed while Pierre and Esteban protested.

"You know it is taking a lot to be civil with you right now because you broke my heart in 2019," you said seriously and he smirked.

"Let me guess, Clemson or Oklahoma?"

"Oklahoma," you admitted looking away.

"I would say I'm sorry but I'm definitely not," he said teasing. "Even if it made a pretty girl like you turn against me."

You flushed and saw Pierre shoot Esteban a look who just laughed turning away.

"Are you watching in here?" Joe asked. "I'd love some good company."

"No, I'll be in McLaren," you told him. "Lando will throw a fit if I'm not there."

"Well I'd actually love to meet him, so I'll swing by later yeah?" You nodded bidding them all goodbye and heading back to the garage.

"Is she dating him or what?" You heard Joe ask and you slowed to hear Pierre respond.

"It's complicated."

His answer confused you but you brushed it off.

The race was amazing. You were so proud watching Lando fight his way to P4 and seeing Oscar take home the win. Finding him after the win, he swept you up into a big hug.

"I'm so proud of you buddy," you said grinning. "But you stink."

He laughed promising to take a shower before you guys left.

"Hey man, great race," you heard Joe say slapping Lando's hand.

"Thanks," he said politely. He had his arm around your shoulder and you moved to get out but his grip tightened, holding you there.

"Would love to see you at a Bengals game sometime, both of you," he said and you nodded brightly.

"I think we're good," Lando replied shortly and you elbowed him hard in his side giving him a look.

"Stop being so rude," you said annoyed but Joe just laughed.

"No worries, I'd act the same way if I were him," he said cockily.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked confused and he winked at you.

"He knows."

You could feel Lando steaming as you followed him into his driver's room, ready to lay into him.

"What on earth is wrong with you?" You questioned. "That was so fucking embarrassing."

"Oh I'm so sorry for ruining your chances with Joe Burrow," he said whirling on you. "I'm sure you it'll still work out though and you can start going to all his games, wear his merch, and wait for him outside the locker room."

"You are literally insane," you seethed and he laughed humorlessly stepping closer to you.

"Your place is not next to him," he said, voice rising. "It's right here in this room, next to me at every race and every day for that matter. You are mine, end of discussion."

You stood there gaping as he walked into the bathroom slamming the door. What the actual fuck? You were pissed. This whole time you had thought he hadn't felt the same way because he never said anything and it took Joe fucking Burrow to figure it out.

Ripping the door open you stormed into the bathroom, not caring about Lando being undressed in the shower. You yanked the shower door open stepping in, letting the water hit you as Lando stared at you with wide eyes. He started to say something but you cut him off, slamming your lips into his, pressing him against the wall.

He took over the kiss, moving aggressively while pulling you closer to him. You pulled back for air and he smiled softly at you.

"I love you," he said and your heart swelled.

"I love you too," you replied. "But I still want to go to a Bengals game."

He rolled his eyes, bringing you in for another kiss.

[lestappenforever]

hi again!

did lestappen really unfollow each other after the Austrian gp 2019? why?

ps: im new here

Hi anon, and welcome to the unhinged world of Lestappen lore! We're so happy to have you. ❤️

Now have a seat and get cozy, because it's story time.

Charles made it into F1 in 2018 and after spending his maiden season at Alfa Romeo Sauber, his life-long dream finally came true as he was snatched up by Scuderia Ferrari to replace the man, the myth, the legend that is Kimi Räikkönen. Needless to say, 2019 was a big year for Charles. His first season in the team he had always dreamed of driving for. He was ready. He was hungry.

Now, enter Max Emilian Verstappen, who at this point had already been in F1 since 2015, when he was signed at the ripe age of 17. Already a seasoned F1 driver, which is impressive as fuck at that age. At this point, Max and Charles were following each other on social media. After all, they'd known each other for most of their lives, had grown up together in karting, and were now competing at the top level.

Today, we know Austria as the Lestappen holy ground following that podium in 2022. (Borderline pornographic podium celebration? Don't mind if I do.) But, it had potential to become the Lestappen holy ground even back in 2019, because Max and Charles were on fire. Talking, laughing, joking, mirroring each other in the pre-race press conference, and generally acting like teenagers with a crush. (As you do with your emotional support rival.) Things were good. Great, even.

And then Sunday rolled around, and the race happened. Charles and Max were doing what they do best and what they love the most, namely fighting each other on track, likely having the time of their fucking lives. But then this overtake happened, there's a little bit of contact and Charles briefly ends up off the track, and Max goes on to win the race, with Charles finishing P2. (Anyone else hearing "He's just unfair. I'm leading, he wants to pass, he push me, I push him back" and "Nothing, just an inchident"? in their heads watching that overtake? Just me? Okay.)

Charles was pissed, absolutely convinced that Max had done something wrong, that it wasn't a clean move, and the move was investigated, as all similar moves are. FIA, however, ends up deeming it a clean move and Max doesn't get a penalty, meaning his win stands. And, well, this is where Charles Leclerc shows the world what it means to truly be ✨dramatic.✨ (We love a dramatic king in this house, ngl. Nothing is more entertaining to me than grown-ass men acting like children.)

A look that could kill? Check. Dramatically fixing your cap? Check. Looking away dramatically while plotting someone else's demise? Check. Looking like finishing P2 is not a huge accomplishment in your first season in Scuderia Ferrari? Check. Squeezing past as the winner getting drenched in champagne because you're not about to stand there and watch him celebrate? Check. Whatever the fuck this face is? Check.

Now, here's where it gets really fucking hilarious: Charles and Max fly home from Austria on the same flight. On this flight, where Max is probably sitting in Charles' direct line of sight, Charles goes to Max's Instagram and unfollows him. Probably glaring at Max the entire fucking time. Because he's a fully grown adult man capable of making reasonable, mature decisions when things don't go his way. Clearly. And Max, upon noticing this (or his team noticing it), remembers that he is also a fully grown adult man capable of making reasonable, mature decisions, and responds by unfollowing Charles back. Obviously.

It has been four years and our boys have clearly moved past the events of Austria 2019, but the Great Unfollowing has remained. Has it become an inside joke between them, which is why they're still not following each other after all these years? Probably, if Charles threatening to unfollow Matt from P1 with Matt & Tommy during a Ferrari challenge (and fucking following through on the threat, too) is anything to go by. Does it still make me cackle every time I think about it? Abso-fucking-lutely.

[jiminjeonging]

I have a strong sense of intuition so this is (in my opinion) all of the (probably true) major events of jmj and their dates (im delusional dont trust me that much);

Also im not even writing this in anonymous mode man fuck anonymous mode im brave af this is tumblr who cares

Past events

-Began crushing on eo: mj first when they were trainees, jm later probably around rookie era

-first times (intimate, like first kiss first time whatever): probably late 2021 or early 2022

They probably were on and off all of the time from 2022 to late 2023

Becoming exclusive to eo: they probably always were but probably like in 2022 idk

Becoming like an actual serious item (relationship? Idk they probably dont have a label yet): early 2024 and it could have been late 2023 but i doubt it

Now its time to predict future events, to further show how crazy i am i will even predict specific dates

Future events

-First intimate hug on camera: november 10th 2024 (trust me on this one i just know)

-first kiss (could be anywhere) on camera; it will be on mjs birthday the 1st of january of 2025 i can feel it in my bones

-them subtly coming out (u know mb from mamamoo? Well just like that i mean coming out but not coming out if u know what i mean):probably june 24 2025/2026

-them being engaged (privately not saying shit to the public): august 27 2025/2026 trust me

-them coming out publicly: for their aniversary the 27th of august (was it august their rumored anniversary?) Of 2027 (their hiatus era 😭)

-Marriage: the 15th of april 2028

Now dont trust me on any of these, this is just speculation but i wanted to form my on opinion on the jmj timeline lmk yalls opinion 🫡

😭😭😭 i think some of our opinions line up well! in my opinion jm began crushing around 2019 but she didnt know she was crushing on mj. with mj it was like crush at first sight but she just thought it was admiration towards a senior. i think something real happened between them in fall 2021. bcs of the amount of dates they had in late-ish 2023 from august to december. i would say stuff were def became serious aroun that time! thank you for your input<3

[mxdimitrescu]

Everything is Okay

Synopsis: After having her heart broken, Asa disappears until she returns to 2019 World Cup, facing the reason that broke her heart with the love of her life beside her side.

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Pairing: Jackie Groenen x Asa West

(Masterlist)

2012

As I stepped out of the car, a bundle of nerves knotted in my stomach. Pocketing the small box, I closed the door gently behind me, only to receive a hearty slap on the back that snapped me out of my reverie. Pinoe grinned at me, oblivious to my inner turmoil.

"You look like you're about to faint," she remarked, and I shot her a wry glare.

"Can you blame me? This is a big deal, and I'm terrified she won't say yes," I confessed, worrying my lip as I mulled over the state of our relationship, which had been strained for months. Between her hectic soccer schedule, outings with her teammates, and my own demanding job, finding time to connect had been a challenge.

"She'll say yes, trust me. She adores you," Pinoe reassured me, and I felt some of the tension drain from my shoulders at her words.

"Thanks, Megs. You always know just what to say," I murmured, offering her a grateful smile. She simply shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Hey, what are best friends for?" she quipped.

Megan and I had been inseparable since childhood, and she was the one who had introduced me to my current girlfriend – hopefully, soon-to-be fiancée.

"I'll be waiting with your celebratory supplies," Pinoe declared with a thumbs-up.

With a nod, I steeled myself and headed into the apartment building, Pinoe's cheers echoing behind me. Inside the elevator, I punched the button for the fourth floor and waited, my heart pounding with anticipation. When the doors finally slid open, I made my way to apartment 424, pausing outside to gather my thoughts before knocking.

With a heavy anticipation, I used the house key she had entrusted to me and unlocked the door. Stepping inside, I closed it softly behind me before venturing into the living room. My eyes scanned the area, noting the two dirty plates and cups in the sink, likely remnants of a friend's visit. As I made my way toward the bedroom door, my gaze fell upon a pair of unfamiliar jeans and a lone shoe that certainly didn't belong to my girlfriend.

Dread gnawed at my insides, a sinking feeling settling in my stomach. Swallowing hard, I approached the bedroom door, my hand hesitating over the knob. A sound, faint at first, reached my ears – a moan, deep and unmistakable. With a shaky breath, I turned the knob and pushed the door open, only to have my worst fears realized in an instant.

There she was, straddling another man, lost in ecstasy as she moved rhythmically atop him. Her familiar moans, ones I knew intimately, cut through me like a knife. A large hand gripped her hips possessively as they rocked together, oblivious to my presence until she turned to find me standing in the doorway, my expression a tumult of confusion and hurt.

"Asa..." she gasped, her voice catching as she scrambled off the bed, hastily grabbing a discarded t-shirt to cover herself. With her no longer obscuring my view, I caught sight of the man beneath her, and rage surged within me. I couldn't bear to confront them, to face the betrayal head-on. Without a word, I turned on my heel and fled the apartment, the echo of her pleading cries ringing in my ears as I descended the stairs, bypassing the elevator entirely.

Outside, Pinoe stood, her brow furrowed in concern as she spoke into her phone, her gaze snapping to me as I emerged from the building.

"Asa, what's going on?" Pinoe's voice was laced with worry, but I brushed past her, heading straight for the car.

Before Pinoe could press further, a familiar voice shattered the tense silence.

"ASA!"

Both Pinoe and I turned to see Alex rushing toward us, her hastily thrown-on t-shirt and sweatpants a stark contrast to her usual composed demeanor.

I couldn't contain the surge of anger and betrayal that consumed me. "What do you want, Alex? Shouldn't you be with Servando?" I spat out, the bitterness of my words cutting through the air.

Pinoe recoiled at the harshness of my tone, her gaze shifting between Alex's tear-streaked face and me, her expression a mixture of shock and confusion. "Alex?" she echoed, her voice barely a whisper.

Alex opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out, her tears betraying the depth of her anguish.

As Alex admitted to the four-month-long betrayal, I felt a weight settle in the pit of my stomach. Four months. It all made sense now. Fighting back tears, I clenched my jaw, struggling to maintain my composure as I processed the depth of her betrayal.

With a heavy heart, I reached into my pocket and retrieved the ring box I had intended to present to her moments ago. Holding it out to Alex, I murmured, "I had hoped to propose to you, but that's no longer an option. It's yours. Goodbye, Alex."

Her shocked expression mirrored my shattered emotions as I turned away, making my way to the passenger seat where Pinoe sat, a silent witness to our crumbling relationship.

As Alex pleaded for another chance, promising to end the affair and professing her love, I paused, my hand resting on the car door handle. "Alex, it's over. If you truly loved me, you wouldn't have betrayed my trust," I stated firmly, my voice strained with hurt and resignation.

Sliding into the car, I directed Pinoe to drive away, leaving Alex kneeling on the pavement, clutching the ring box to her chest as her world fell apart.

With tears blurring my vision, I stared ahead, lost in a whirlwind of pain and betrayal. Pinoe's hand found mine, offering silent support as we left behind the shattered remnants of what was once our shared dream.

•••••

2019

Standing on the sidewalk with my suitcase and soccer bag, I stared up at the imposing facade of the hotel where the USWNT was staying. How on earth had I ended up here, of all places? That question echoed in my mind, a mix of disbelief and uncertainty swirling within me.

~Flashback~

The incessant ringing of my phone jolted me awake from a deep slumber. Groggily, I fumbled for my phone, squinting at the blinding brightness of the screen. "3:02 AM," I muttered, my irritation mounting as I answered the call.

"It's three in the bloody morning, what's so urgent?" I grumbled, shifting to lie on my back.

"My apologies, I didn't consider the time difference," came the familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Jill? Is that you?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to fully wake up.

The lump beside me stirred, and a tousled head peeked out from beneath the covers, resting on my chest as I absentmindedly played with her hair.

"Yes, it's me, Asa," Jill confirmed.

"Nice to hear from you. What's going on?" I asked, stifling a yawn as I tried to shake off the remnants of sleep.

"Asa, I need you here for the 2019 World Cup," Jill's voice cut through the late-night haze.

My immediate response was a flat refusal. "No thanks."

But Jill persisted, her tone pleading. "Asa, please. I'm short a forward. Jessica got injured earlier today and won't be able to play."

As I pondered her request, the woman in my arms showered me with kisses on my neck, her whispers urging me on. "Do it. I know you miss your friends."

Her words hit home. I did miss my friends, especially Pinoe and Carli.

"And Pinoe and Carli miss you—" Jill continued before I cut her off with a gruff agreement.

"Fine, I'll be there," I relented, my resolve wavering under the weight of nostalgia and longing.

Jill let out a sigh of relief. "Great. I'll send you the tickets and the schedule."

I offered a noncommittal hum in response as Jill finalized the details.

"See you in two days," Jill concluded before ending the call.

With a groan, I tossed the phone onto the nightstand and pulled the woman closer, wrapping my arms around her as we both drifted back into sleep.

~Flashback Ends~

I sighed as I stepped into the hotel lobby, spotting Jill waiting for me. A small smile tugged at her lips as she greeted me.

"Hello, Asa," Jill said warmly.

Returning her smile, I pulled her into a brief hug. "Hey, Jill. It's good to see you," I replied before we parted.

Jill patted me on the back and then glanced at me expectantly. "Ready to meet the team?"

I raised an eyebrow, a sense of apprehension creeping in. "Not really, but I guess I don't have much of a choice," I admitted with a chuckle.

Jill chuckled along with me as we made our way through the hotel. As we entered the conference room, the chatter died down, and all eyes turned toward us. Each member of the team had a different expression on their face.

Pinoe, Tobin, and Kelley greeted me with wide smiles and enthusiastic waves, their excitement palpable. Becky and Carli offered softer smiles, their warmth evident in their eyes.

The younger members stared at me in awe, their curiosity piqued by my presence. And then there was Alex Morgan, her gaze fixed on me with a mixture of surprise and hope, her eyes silently pleading for a second chance.

As Jill and I approached the front of the room, she took the lead in addressing the team.

"Alright, everyone. As we know, Jessica sustained an injury two days ago, and we're in need of a forward. Please welcome your new teammate, Asa West," Jill announced.

Stepping forward, I offered a simple greeting. "Hi, I'm Asa."

A hush fell over the room as all eyes turned toward me, awaiting further words. But I remained silent, feeling the weight of their expectations resting upon me.

In that moment of quiet, Pinoe seized the opportunity to make her grand entrance, bounding forward to envelop me in a bear hug.

"BESTIE!" she exclaimed, her enthusiasm contagious.

I chuckled softly, returning her embrace. "We saw each other just a month ago," I reminded her with a playful smirk.

Pouting, Pinoe released me and dropped to the ground dramatically. "A month too long," she declared, her expression mockingly wounded.

Shaking my head at her antics, I turned my attention to Becky, Kelley, and Carli, who approached us at a more measured pace. Locking eyes with Kelley, I was met with a warm hug and a whispered apology.

"I missed you, and I'm sorry about Alex. I didn't know," Kelley murmured, her sincerity evident in her voice.

I returned Kelley's hug with gratitude, offering her a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Kells. And I missed you too."

As we parted, Carli stepped forward, enveloping me in a warm embrace. "It's good to see you again," she said sincerely before Becky joined in, her words laced with playful affection. "Yeah, I missed my crossword partner."

Chuckling softly, I returned their embraces. "I missed you guys too," I admitted genuinely.

The younger members then swarmed around me, their curiosity evident as they bombarded me with questions. I did my best to answer each one, enjoying the energy and excitement they brought to the room.

Amidst the chatter, my gaze met Alex's, and for a moment, we held each other's gaze. But I quickly averted my eyes, focusing instead on engaging with Mal, Tierna, Sam, Emily, and Lindsey.

As I took in the scene before me, I couldn't help but think that this World Cup would be an interesting and challenging journey for us all.

•••••

July 7th, 2019

As the day of the Finals at the 2019 World Cup arrived, tensions ran high in the locker room. Alex's persistent attempts to restart our relationship had put me on edge, and I found myself relying on the support of my old teammates to navigate the situation.

Fortunately, Becky, Carli, Kelley, Tobin, and Pinoe had been instrumental in helping me maintain my distance from Alex while also reconnecting with each other. Our bonds had been restored, and we promised to stay in touch even after the World Cup concluded.

In the locker room, the atmosphere was electric as Jill entered, ready to announce the starting lineup for the crucial match against the Netherlands.

"Alright, the starting lineup is Heath, Morgan, and West as our forwards, Lavelle, Mewis, and Ertz as our midfielders, Dunn, Sauerbrunn, and Dahlkemper as our defenders, and lastly, Naeher as our goalie. The captain is West. Congratulations," Jill declared, tossing the captain's armband to me.

As I slipped on the armband, a sense of pride washed over me, bolstered by the support and camaraderie of my teammates. We exited the locker room, ready to take to the field and give it our all.

Stepping onto the pitch, the strains of the national anthems filled the air, heightening the anticipation of the match ahead. Glancing across to the Netherlands' side, I sought out a familiar pair of eyes and locked gazes with said pair.

As Pinoe's teasing remark caught me off guard, I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Shaddup," I muttered, playfully pushing her away.

With the whistle signaling the start of the match, we took to the field, fully aware of the stakes at hand. The intensity of the game was palpable, each team vying for victory in the quest for the World Cup title.

As the first half progressed, neither side managed to break the deadlock. It was a fiercely contested battle, with both teams showcasing their defensive prowess.

At halftime, we retreated to our benches, hydrating and refocusing for the remainder of the match. The second half began with renewed vigor, and I could sense the determination coursing through our team.

At the 61st minute, I finally found the back of the net, scoring a crucial hat trick goal to put us ahead 1-0. The cheers from our supporters echoed through the stadium, fueling our momentum.

We continued to press forward, and soon, Lavelle capitalized on a scoring opportunity, extending our lead to 2-0 with an assist from Mewis.

As the clock ticked down, substitutions were made to maintain our defensive solidity and see out the victory. Alex was replaced by Press in the 79th minute, followed by Heath being substituted for Lloyd in the 87th minute.

As the final whistle echoed across the stadium, signaling the end of the game, I stood on the field, a mixture of exhaustion and elation washing over me. A wide grin stretched across my face as the reality of our victory sank in – we had won the World Cup.

Pinoe, Kelley, and Mal rushed towards me, their jubilant expressions mirroring my own. We embraced in a tight hug, sharing in the joy of our triumph.

Amidst the celebrations, I noticed the defeated looks on the faces of the Netherlands team. With a sense of sportsmanship, I made my way over to them, offering words of consolation and respect.

As I spoke with Danielle van de Donk, a familiar voice called out my name, drawing my attention along with the rest of the USA team.

Turning, I saw Jackie sprinting towards me, her face alight with excitement. With a smile, I opened my arms, ready to catch her as she leapt into my embrace. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and her legs around my waist as I held her securely.

"Congrats on winning the cup and that amazing goal," Jackie exclaimed, her words filled with genuine admiration and pride.

With a smile, I responded, "Thanks, baby," before leaning in to kiss her on the lips.

The gasps and murmurs from my teammates brought me back to reality, and I broke the kiss to address them. Gently lowering Jackie to the ground, I kept my arm around her waist as I turned to face my team.

"Hey, guys, I want you to meet someone," I began, a sense of pride evident in my voice. "This is Jackie Groenen, my wife."

Looking down at her with adoration, I couldn't help but smile at the realization of our marriage.

Jackie scoffed playfully and shot me a teasing glance. "Excuse you, it's Jackie West," she corrected, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

I laughed and nodded in agreement. "My bad. Still can't believe we're married."

Jackie rolled her eyes affectionately and leaned up to kiss my cheek, eliciting a soft chuckle from me.

As we stood together, Pinoe approached us with a curious expression, eager to meet the newest addition to our team – my wife.

Pinoe greeted Jackie warmly with a hug, and Jackie returned the gesture with a smile. "It's good to see you again, Pinoe. I hope Asa behaved?" she quipped, teasingly.

"Like a saint," Pinoe replied with a grin, offering her reassurance.

As the rest of the team gathered around us, their curiosity piqued by Jackie's presence, they bombarded me with questions about why I had never mentioned her before.

"I'll explain in the locker room," I stated firmly, signaling an end to the inquiries.

With nods of understanding, they dispersed, leaving Jackie and me alone for a moment.

Turning to her, I pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "See you after the lockers?" I murmured softly.

"Ja, mijn schat," Jackie replied in Dutch, her affection evident in her tone.

"Ik houd van jou," I whispered in return.

I had made the effort to learn Dutch when I started dating Jackie, wanting to be able to communicate with her and her family in their native language when we visited the Netherlands.

As Jackie walked off to join her team, a smile lingered on her lips, reflecting the warmth of our shared affection.

Heading into the locker room, I was met with the inquisitive stares of my teammates, prompting me to sigh and launch into an explanation.

"Jackie and I met during our time at Chelsea in 2014. I was intrigued by her, but she was younger, so I didn't pursue her initially. However, Jackie was interested and confronted me, asking me out. We ended up dating for two years until I proposed to her on December 25, 2016. Three months later, we got married with Pinoe as my maid of honor. Currently, we both play for FFC Frankfurt."

As I finished recounting our story, the team listened intently. But it was the mention of Pinoe's role in our wedding that seemed to captivate their attention the most.

In unison, their heads turned to Pinoe, who looked up from her phone with a raised eyebrow, sensing the weight of their gaze. "What?" she questioned innocently. "Asa and I are childhood friends. Of course I would be there."

Her nonchalant response elicited a collective nod of understanding from the team, as they accepted the bond that Pinoe and I shared, both on and off the field.

"You love her?"

As Alex's quiet voice cut through the tension in the locker room, her question hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions. I met her gaze, the sincerity of my response reflected in my eyes.

"I truly do. I can't see a life without her," I affirmed, my words carrying the weight of my conviction.

A solemn silence descended upon the room as everyone processed my confession. Alex nodded, a flicker of understanding crossing her features, before quietly gathering her belongings and leaving the locker room.

Releasing a pent-up sigh, I turned to address the rest of the team. "Alright, let's get our stuff and head out," I announced, prompting everyone to spring into action.

Exiting the locker room, I was met by Jackie, her presence a comforting anchor amidst the swirling emotions. Our hands intertwined naturally as we made our way to the bus waiting to transport us to the hotel.

Drawing her close, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head as we walked. Entering the bus, we found seats together, and I settled in beside her, grateful for her unwavering support and companionship.

"Everything okay?" Jackie's whispered question brought me back to the present moment.

Meeting her gaze, I couldn't help but smile softly, reassured by her presence. Leaning in, I pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Everything is okay," I murmured, my words imbued with sincerity and gratitude.

Our eyes met in silent understanding, sharing a moment of reassurance and love. With a contented sigh, we settled into our seats, Jackie resting her head against my shoulder while I looked out the window, a smile playing on my lips.

In that moment, with Jackie by my side, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. "Everything is okay," I repeated softly, knowing that as long as we were together, we could face whatever challenges lay ahead.

[thisworldisablackhole]

Inter Arma New Heaven

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

FFO: POST METAL, DISSO-DEATH, NICK CAVE. SOUND WEIRD? IT IS / LISTEN

As the old saying goes; one man's descent into despair is another man's post-metal masterpiece. At least that's what my grandma used to say, bless her soul. Inter Arma are a metal band from Richmond, VA, who have long since made a name for themselves by defying genre constraints and refusing to pigeonhole themselves as anything other than "the band who defies genre constraints". They seemed to hit a new peak of cohesivity with their kitchen sink blend of influences on 2019's Sulphur English, but whereas that album's sonic arc had some ebb and flow to it, New Heaven embarks on a downhill battle with no end to the bleakness in sight.

In a way, I feel lucky that this album was my first exposure to the band, because I had absolutely no idea of the ride I was about to embark on. New Heaven kicks off with a cluster bomb of dissonant stabs and spiraling harmonies before settling into a full on blackened-death pummel fest that spans the first three tracks. The guitars are sharp like razor wires, the drums of war boom with a threatening aura, everything echoes with a thunderous dark energy thanks to the cavernous production style. I would have liked to hear some extra oomph from the bass in the mix, but I digress. There is no sense of heaviness absent as Paparo growls and shrieks his abstract nihilism like the lone prisoner of a dying world - "You pluck your harp against the deathless echo of the driving rain, humming a joyless mantra not a single soul can hear".

Fourth track "Endless Grey" is where things start to get weird—gently ushering us to the dark side of the moon with an epic instrumental passage of dueling guitar leads and plodding funeral-esque drums before spitting us out into a cold wave of gothic post punk. In "Gardens in the Dark", Mike swaps out his growls for a baritone bellow as a wave of dismal synths wash against the steady rhythm of the bass and coalesce into cathartic crescendos. It's a stark shift in tone, but one that just feels right, as if we have just watched our protagonist descend through his reflection into the shadow realm. It's in this realm where Mike pens some of his most heart wrenching lyrical content on the record - "Were you attempting to calm a storm that wouldn't subside? God damn that suicide, and your garden in the dark".

The next two tracks continue this trend of doom and gloom post punk while seamlessly weaving back in passages of growling, dirgy black metal. "Concrete Cliff" in particular stands out as having the most balance between the two moods of the album, but then we quickly hit the bottom of the elevator shaft, and it opens it's doors to a neo-folk hell. "Forest Service Road Blues" somehow manages to out-misery every other song on the album, and closes out our journey with the most desolate and lonely note it could muster. Mike sings of dwindling mental health and the societal isolation it causes as acoustic guitar, piano, and violin weep in congruence. "They say they've tried to coax him down a hundred times or more, but he just points to the shovel layin' next to the door. They say sometimes you've just gotta let a man dig his own grave." It's the final nail in our coffin. We were born, we witnessed the ugliest parts of humanity, and now we've been laid to rest. Thus the album concludes. I told you it was bleak.

I can see how this type of album flow could be polarizing to veteran fans, especially following the aforementioned peak of cohesivity with Sulphur English, but New Heaven is simply a project that cares more of translating it's ideas with clarity than it does with feeling coherent. It has a narrative with a distinct arc that is brief, easy to follow, and offers plenty of replay incentive for those who don't mind feeling like they are listening to Portal, Neurosis and Nick Cave at the same time. That's a win in my books.

[of-twilight-and-moonshadow]

What Is Mine - Marcel x Reader x Fabian

So, with the latest episode of NXT, @wwzentertainment asked for Imperium x Reader. 

Here it is~ Almost the quickest I’ve wrote anything; just over an hour. 

Enjoy!

Warnings? : Polygamous relationship (pretty much it). Small fight scene, multiple translations of German and Italian, little bit of body insecurity near the end

TAG LIST @starwithaheart​ @shedevil22 @amourseculier @regalbanshee​ @barthelsimperium​ (because i think you’ll like this too)

Note: Funny Marcel gif i found at the end because <3 

(divider)

I stood backstage, just out of sight, as I watched my two boys do an interview about their win last week at Halloween Havoc. What we had between us was… unusual… but between the three of us, we made it work.

I love Marcel. He was quiet but strong; demanding, yet gentle. Compassionate and funny but also stern.

I love Fabian. He was a giant teddy bear and a protective Sheppard; he joked a lot but was also romantic.

I knew, back in 2019 when we met, that there was no way I could ever choose one over the other. They seemed to know too, and to understand. Which made our current… arrangement—work, all the more. Never before had I even thought of being in a Polygamous relationship—and they hadn’t either, they admitted one night as we cuddled on the couch.

But it was what we had, and what worked. Thinking back on that night, I couldn’t help but smile—it was also the first night we all slept together. It was a fun night—despite the soreness I felt the next few days.

“—we don’t compromise with American ideals.” Fabian wrapped up in Italian, as Marcel looked over at him with his usual smug frown.

Seeing the two of them act so differently in front of camera compared to when it was just us, it caused a small chuckle. Unfortunately, my cheery mood quickly was squashed as I watched Gigi and Jayce walked onto the screen.

“Congratulations on becoming new NXT tag team champions,” Gigi told them, eyeing Marcel in a way I did not like,” You definitely… look… the part.” She reached out with her black rose and gentle ran it down Marcel’s jawline, seemingly catching his interest.

I stood there, jaw clenched, not moving. My whole body was frozen in place—not in fear. In anger.

“And so do we,” Jacy pointed out, gesturing between her and Gigi, as she pulled away from Marcel. I was barely aware of Fabian glancing in my direction, as the camera panned in on the ladies.

“Actually, we just found out we have a six woman tag team match next week,” Jacy continued, smiling at the thought, eyeballing Marcel some more, as Gigi looked from her partner to Marcel,” And I think… you guys should watch us.” The camera panned away, bringing both Marcel and Fabian into screen again, looking like they held some interest—or at least, curiosity.

Marcel leaned over towards Fabian, a smirk on his face, whispering,” We definitely will,” before continuing in German.

“The mat is sacred, but American has its benefits.” I heard him say, being able to translate his words since he had been teaching me German—and Fabian teaching me Italian. Italian was strangely the more difficult of the two languages, as I picked up on German a lot quicker. They watched in interest as the Gigi and Jacy walked away, eyeballing them up and down.

My heart dropped, and I felt not only pissed off but sick to my stomach.

The interview wrapped up, as Mackenzie walked away with the camera man, and I saw Fabian gently elbow Marcel, whisper something—and then Marcel look over in my direction. His eyes were slightly wide, like he feared something.

Good.

Just as they made a step towards me, I spun on heel and stalked off.

“Principessa!” (ts: Princess)

“Kleiner, warte!” (ts: Little one, wait)

Ignoring them, I picked up my pace as I knew they were getting close to catching up with me. Damn their long legs!

“Kleiner—” Marcel began, but I spun around to face them, stopping them dead in the tracks. (ts: little one)

“Nein!” I exclaimed, pointing a finger at him,” Nein nein nein nein! Just—just leave mich alone!” (ts: no / me)

“Amore—” Fabian tried but quieted with a look from me. With that, I spun back around and stomped off towards the women’s locker room. Unfortunately, that didn’t help matters, because low and behold– -who was standing just outside the door?

Jacy Jayne and Gigi Dolin.

Great. Just great.

As I got closer, all intent to just pass on by them and ignore them, went out the window when I heard Jacy let Marcel’s name slip.

“—kind of, but Marcel is. All those muscles—”

“You leave Marcel alone!” I snapped, getting in her face. I’d get in trouble for the altercation no doubt, but right now, I didn’t care.

“Why? You’re in a thing with Aichner—”

“—Dunno why—” Gigi muttered.

“—Unless you’re sneaking around behind his back with Marcel—”

“It’s none of your business! Just stay AWAY from Marcel and Fabian! Do you understand me?!” I yelled at both of them.

“Why? What are you gonna do about it?” Gigi asked, eyeballing me up and down.

I couldn’t do it—I couldn’t fight them. Medical hadn’t cleared me yet from my foot injury. I just had to walk away—

“We said—what are you going to do?” Jacy repeated, as Gigi shoved my shoulder—and then I saw red. My right leg flew up, foot connecting with Jacy’s abdomen, shoving her backwards on her ass. In the second of confusion for Gigi, I brought my elbow around and knocked her right in the face as she turned back towards me. Stunned for a second, I bent her over a bit and started punching at her back, trying to knock the wind out of her lungs. My focus on her, I didn’t see Jacy come at me until I felt her hands grab my hair and slam me face first into the wall. Gaining the upper hand, they began shouting and belittling me as they attacked, gaining attention from the surrounding backstage personnel, as they tried to separate us. They pulled Jacy and Gigi away from me, thinking I wasn’t going to antagonize the situation, that I was the calmer of the three—but not this time.

As soon as I had the chance, I launched myself at the two of them—including the personel and other talent holding them back—leading with overhead punches, trying to get as much damage as possible. Arms wrapped around my waist, trying to pull me away and in my bought of adrenaline, my elbow hooked around behind me and got the guy in the face. They let me go, stumbling away.

The yelling and arguing among talent, Gigi and Jacy yelling at me and my anger kept the area extremely loud, and I couldn’t hear one person over the other.

Another set of arms wrapped around me, this time slightly tighter, and instead of pulling me straight back, I felt my lower half get lifted as well, and then pulled away from the commotion.

“Basta amore mio! You’ll reinjure yourself—Fermare!” (ts: Enough my love! / Stop!)

Recognizing the Italian, I stopped struggling as much. He put my feet back on the floor, but still held me against his chest. I saw Marcel cupping the side of his face, only looking slightly annoyed.

“Du bist Fertig?” Marcel asked. (ts: You finished?)

“Nein,” I muttered, averting my gaze from his, as I leaned back into Fabian’s chest. (ts: no)

“Mi amore,” Fabian whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my ear,” Come, let’s talk elsewhere.” (ts: my love)

“Somewhere more quiet,” Marcel frowned at the commotion still going on ten feet behind us. Wordlessly, I nodded, following them down the hall to their locker room. Marcel closed the door behind us, and I softly pried myself from Fabian’s embrace.

“What’s going on in that mind of yours amore?” Fabian asked, sitting down in one of the chairs. (ts: love)

Silence.

“Rede mi tuns… bitte leibling.” (Talk to us / please darling)

“I just—I don’t know!” I frowned, turning away from them as I crossed my arms in front of my chest,” I—I saw them shamelessly flirting with you guys—especially Marcel—and I just—”

“You got jealous,” Fabian finished, a slight smirk on his face.

“Nein,” I muttered under my breath. (ts: no)

“Kleiner…” Marcel drawled out, talking slow steps towards me. (ts: little one)

“Nein,” I repeated, trying more to convince myself then them at this point.

“Leibe, look at me bitte.” (ts: Love / please)

Slowly, I turned around but refused to meet his gaze. Briefly, my eyes met Fabian’s and I saw the soft smile his had on his face, but it only made me feel more ashamed, so I let my gaze fall to the floor. Fingertips traced my jaw down to my chin, before lifting my attention up until I finally met Marcel’s eyes.

His beautiful, captivating blue eyes. Those eyes were the first thing to draw me towards him—just as Fabian’s smile did.

“Liebe… You know I would never cheat on you, right?” (ts: Love)

I nodded slowly.

“Then why all this?”

“I just—I don’t know… I guess… with me not really being out there—maybe… maybe I’m feeling insecure? I mean—they are both, kinda attractive in their own—”

“Nein,” Marcel bit out, his posture tightening slightly before he relaxed,” I can’t speak for Fabian—but you…. You are all I need. All I want. Du bist wunderschon…. Komisch… clever… stark… Perfekt wie du bist.” (ts: no / you are beautiful, funny, smart, strong. Perfect as you are)

“Marcel…” I whispered, my eyes tearing up as I wrapped my arms around his torso and snuggled into him as his wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.

“Si, mi amore,” Fabian agreed,” Marcel and I—back before we all agreed to do this relationship—we both were attracted to you in our own ways. People can come on to us all they want—flirt all they want… but at the end of the day, all we want is you, Principessa.” (ts: Yes, my love / Princess)

“You’ve nothing to be jealous over, we promise,” I heard Marcel assure me, and I glanced up at him.

“I’m sorry I elbowed you in the face,” I frowned, as he looked down at me with a grin.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve done worse before,” Marcel chuckled, before pressing a kiss to my forehead,” Does your foot hurt any?”

“Hmm? Oh,” I thought, stretching it out a bit and considering, before shaking my head,” No. Doesn’t seem to. Doctor did tell me I should be good to go, but to keep an eye on it for a few weeks.”

“So, you’re cleared to be in the ring again?”

“Not technically, yet anyway. I think they will after my check up tomorrow. Which is good news for me,” I smiled deviously.

“Why’s that, Princepessa?” (ts: princess)

“You heard Jayne. They’ve got a 3-woman tag match next week. It’d be a shame if one of their opponents couldn’t make the match for… any… reason.”

“Questa e’ la nostra ragazza.” (ts: That’s our girl)

“Wir werden zuschauen.” (ts: We will be watching)

“I do hope so,” I smirked,” They’ll learn, one way or another, they’ll learn. You don’t mess with what’s mine.” 

The two Europeans just smiled down at me, before giving me each a breath taking kiss. Next week was a ways away– for now, they started with making me feel beautiful, loved and extra motivated. 

0o0o0o0o

EXTRA MARCEL READJUST GIF -hearteyes- imdying

[lineycantdance]

Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung as Eros and Psyche

In this meta, I will be illustrating how the storyline in the 2019 tvN K-drama Hotel Del Luna between its protagonist Jang Man Wol and second male lead Go Chung Myung follows the Aarne-Thompson-Uther folktale type 425: Search for the Lost Husband, while also containing elements of ATU-400: The Quest for the Lost Bride. In particular, I will be pointing out parallels to famous versions of these tales from Greek mythology: ATU-425: Eros and Psyche, and ATU-400: Orpheus and Eurydice. I am by no means an expert on this topic, so feel free to share where you disagree with me and point out any mistakes.

Before I go on, be advised: the following post will include mentions of violence, capital punishment, suicide, and all of the darker elements that were present in the historical subplot of Hotel Del Luna.

Part 1: Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung as Eros and Psyche

The myth of Eros and Psyche is said to be the prototypical version of the Beauty and the Beast story. Other tales classified under ATU-425 feature an Animal Bridegroom. After a taboo is broken, the animal husband flees from the bride, and she must complete a series of tasks or embark on a long journey to reunite with her lost husband.

A Mission Gone Awry:

The original version of Eros and Psyche comes from Apuleius’ Metamorphoses as a story within a story. The tale begins with the youngest and most beautiful daughter of a king and queen, Psyche, attracting so many admirers that people have started worshipping her instead of Aphrodite (Venus), the goddess of love. The jealous Aphrodite sends her son Eros (Cupid) to make Psyche fall in love with a hideous and wretched creature. However, rather than carrying out his mother’s bidding, Eros mistakenly pricks himself with his own arrow and consequently falls deeply in love with Psyche upon the sight of her sleeping form. In other words, the script gets flipped on Eros who is wounded by his own weapon.

[Cupid Finding Psyche by Edward Burne-Jones]

Man Wol and Chung Myung’s first meeting bears a few similarities. After Jang Man Wol’s gang of bandits attacks Princess Song Hwa’s caravan, royal guard captain Go Chung Myung chases her down, intent on capturing the gang leader. However, instead of successfully carrying out this mission, Chung Myung becomes mesmerized by Man Wol’s beauty. Man Wol knocks him unconscious while he is distracted and takes him hostage. He is both held captive and captivated by her. Princess Song Hwa, the one who sent Chung Myung, will be playing the part of the jealous Aphrodite in this story.

In both stories, our heroine poses a threat to a royal/divine mother figure who takes this as a personal affront. A young man under her authority is sent to condemn the heroine to a dark fate. The hero fails to carry out this mission and ends up falling in love with the heroine instead.

Man Wol appears as if asleep à la Sleeping Beauty.

She flips the script on this lovestruck fool.

 The Mythical Snake-Husband:

Eros, the god of desire, is feared even by Zeus, for a shot from his arrow fills his victims with uncontrollable infatuation often resulting in infidelity and adultery. He is sometimes described as a serpent who flies on black wings. It is meant to be understood that, in a way, Eros is exactly the kind of monster that Aphrodite wished Psyche to wed.

In other fairy tales classified under ATU-425, the bridegroom is a young man, often a prince, who has been transformed into a monster, animal, beast, etc. He may take the appearance of a bull, pig, bear, snail, etc., but most often he appears as a snake or a bird such as in the Mexican fairy tale El Pájaro Verde, or the Italian fairy tale The Enchanted Snake.

Most obviously, Chung Myung takes the form of an animal when his soul is eventually transformed into a firefly. But, unlike the heroes in Animal Bridegroom stories, Chung Myung begins his story as just a regular man, not a beast or monster. That being said, when his character is first introduced in the show (and to Man Wol), we see him as a fearsome warrior and formidable swordsman. As Man Wol’s captive, he flirts with her in an attempt to convince her to let him go. At first, it is unclear whether he is simply trying to pull a fast one on her, and for a moment it seems like he is going to leave her for dead when she gets caught in quicksand. His initial shiftiness as well as his lethal capabilities make him, metaphorically-speaking, akin to a snake.

The Beautiful Lonely Heroine:

Psyche, the youngest and most beautiful of three princesses, is plagued by solitude. She despises her own beauty for making her singularly lonely. Even though she is widely adored, no one wants to approach her. She resents her virginity as it represents her loneliness and longing for romantic companionship.

It’s worth mentioning that in other Lost Husband stories, the heroine is often depicted as a paragon of idealized femininity: young, beautiful, unquestioningly obedient to her father, kind, gentle, self-sacrificial beyond reason. Compare that to her older sisters who are portrayed as vapid, jealous, and vain, the latter primarily for “turning up their noses” and refusing to marry an animal bridegroom unlike their younger sister who is inexplicably totally cool with it. These polarized depictions of femininity, while regressive and devoid of nuance, are commonplace in fairy tales, and the lack of depth could even be considered a defining genre convention (see Max Lüthi's criteria for märchen in The European Folktale: Form and Nature, particularly "depthlessness").

Although the fierce thief Man Wol doesn’t fit this model of idealized feminine heroine, she does have some things in common with her fair-maiden counterparts. She, too, suffers from loneliness, and, as a transient bandit, she is emotionally isolated. Apart from her foster brother Yeon Woo, she doesn’t allow others to get close to her.

In the first flashback shown of her past, she says that she envies trees because they don’t have to wander around. She laments that “it must be nice to just put down roots and settle down.” 

Man Wol’s conversation with Yeon Woo in front of the great oak tree reveals that she longs for stability and a way to live past her youth, neither of which her nomadic life as a bandit can provide her. When Yeon Woo offers to build Man Wol a house out of the wood from the giant tree, she teasingly turns him down. Considering the great oak tree symbolizes Man Wol’s desire for longevity, that Yeon Woo specifically promises to cut it down demonstrates the impossibility of their situation. His words to Man Wol in this scene about transferring his extra years to her are poignantly prophetic:

Yeon Woo: We all grow old. You should think about putting down roots. I can’t let you live under a tarp when you’ve become an old lady.

Man Wol: I could be captured and killed at any moment. That’s my life. I don’t even expect to live until I’m old.

Yeon Woo: But you can. The fortune teller said that I’ll live a long life, just like this tree. I’m expected to live 100 years, so I’ll give you my extra years.

Man Wol: If you do that, you’ll die.

Yeon Woo: You’re right. It’s okay, though. I don’t mind dying for you, so you can have it all.

Not only does this scene foreshadow Yeon Woo’s heart-wrenching sacrifice on Man Wol’s behalf, but it also indicates that, under Man Wol’s current circumstances, a life must be “cut short,” be it the tree’s or Yeon Woo’s, in order to secure the longevity and stability she desires. 

Whereas Psyche expressly wishes to find love, especially after her two older sisters are both married and she cannot find a husband, Man Wol's desires do not necessarily require love to achieve. However, “settling down” and “putting down roots” are conventionally achieved via marriage.

Merging of the Wedding and Funeral Rites, A Leap of Faith:

After consulting the Oracle of Apollo who tells them their daughter is to marry a hideous monster, Psyche’s parents assume this is a sure death sentence. In funeral attire, Psyche is taken to the edge of a cliff to be carried by the west wind Zephyr to Eros’s palace. She bravely accepts her fated marriage, takes the plunge, and encounters her mythical bridegroom in an enchanted palace in the forest. In blurring the lines between the wedding and funeral rites, death and love are depicted as intertwined.

[Psyche’s Wedding by Edward Burne-Jones]

The most prominent moment when a wedding and funeral are merged in Man Wol’s backstory is during her deadly confrontation with Chung Myung in the royal bridal chamber. But more on that later. Sticking to this pair’s first meeting, a moment occurs that could be interpreted as her taking a leap of faith. Man Wol chooses to release her captive Chung Myung in hopes that he will save her from being swallowed by quicksand. In tossing him her sword so that he can cut himself free, she places her life in his hands. Chung Myung in turn, rather than escaping when he has the chance, saves his captor from the brink of death.

The Heroine Grows Affectionate toward her Nighttime Visitor:

Psyche is well provided for in Eros’s enchanted palace, but he only comes to visit her at night when it is dark and she can’t see him. Initially, Psyche is hesitant about the intimacy they share at night, but eventually she grows to enjoy those moments.

In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the groom takes off his animal skin/feathers in the heroine’s bedroom and reveals himself to be a handsome youth by night. The heroine grows fond of him and the private conversations they share together, but he must disappear with the rising sun.

Chung Myung meets Man Wol at the moonlit lake to share wine. At first, she is annoyed that he has disrupted her solitude, but he tells her that the view of the lake has gotten better since he arrived because she is no longer alone. Then, he says that in the future whenever she drinks there by herself, she will be waiting for him to show up like he did that night. These words prove true, as Man Wol evidently grows to crave Chung Myung’s company so much that she is willing to sneak into the Princess’s castle at the risk of her own life just to see him.

Due to the forbidden nature of their relationship, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s trysts must occur under the cover of darkness.

The Bride and Groom are Married in a Symbolic Union:

With their marriage consummated and a bond forming between them, Eros and Psyche are no longer married only in name. At this point, they are referred to as husband and wife, not just the bride and groom of a sham marriage.

While marital and botched proposal imagery are evoked at several points throughout Man Wol and Chung Myung’s love story (which I will discuss further down below), I would pinpoint the moment they become symbolically married as when they are seated together in front of the fire, and he signs her name with her finger on the surface of a rock. This is the scene in which their bond is cemented, quite literally, in stone, and their feelings for each other are made clear.

A Voice of Doubt Leads the Wife to Act Against Her Husband’s Wishes:

When Psyche’s sisters visit her in her luxurious palace, they sow doubt in her about the true form of her husband. They make her believe that her husband is truly dangerous and convince her to look upon Eros’s true form and kill him if he really is a monster.

In many Animal Bridegroom stories, the jealous sisters or an overprotective father may directly harm the husband, believing him to be devouring the bride at night. In other variants, the heroine asks about her husband’s origin, shares his secret identity with others, or looks upon his true form when he specifically forbade it. This constitutes breaking a taboo and/or a betrayal of the husband’s trust.

For Man Wol, the voice of doubt about her relationship with Chung Myung comes from inside herself rather than from an outside source. After Man Wol tells Chung Myung that she and her clan of bandits are leaving to join the rebellion, he offers to risk his life and run away with her. But she declines and breaks things off with him.

In this impersonal statement of rejection, Man Wol alludes to the external obstacles that stand in between this couple’s happiness: her clan joining the rebellion against the kingdom that Chung Myung serves, their difference in class and standing in the law, the imminent war that stands between their peoples, etc. Although these obstacles are great, they seem to be just excuses for what is really holding Man Wol back—the internal obstacles within herself.

Needing to have relied on herself alone for so many years, Man Wol is fiercely independent and unaccustomed to letting others in. Her doubts, perhaps self-doubts, and hesitancy in commitment are the real reasons for this “break-up,” not the meddling of pesky relatives as in other Animal Bridegroom tales. In fact, the character you would expect to play the role of an overprotective or jealous family member, Yeon Woo, is quite supportive of Man Wol’s relationship with Chung Myung, and even encourages her to follow her heart when he senses she might not come back from bidding Chung Myung a final farewell.

Yeon Woo (joining Man Wol at the foot of the giant tree): Everyone’s ready. When should we leave?

Man Wol (gazing at the jug with her symbol tied to the tree): He was here. He’s probably there now. Let me go see him one last time.

Yeon Woo (catching Man Wol’s wrists to hold her back): Man Wol-ah. Will you come back?

Man Wol: Yes. Of course, I’ll be back.

Yeon Woo (dropping Man Wol’s wrists, he gives a sheepish smile): You don’t need to come back. I’ll be fine either way, so do as you wish.

Breaking the Taboo, a Betrayal of Trust:

Psyche listens to her sisters who tell her to approach her husband with a lamp to see his true identity and a dagger to kill him if he truly is a monster. When Psyche follows through with this plan and sees Eros’s true form exposed, this constitutes a betrayal of his trust. In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the wife does the one thing her husband specifically forbids her from doing which is often sharing his secret with a nosy family member. At this point, he assumes his animal/beast form and flees his bride.

[From Favorite Greek Myths illustrated by Troy Howell]

This may seem counterintuitive, as Chung Myung is the one who ends up outright betraying Man Wol, but when Man Wol allows her fears and doubts to take hold of her and forsakes her love, this can be considered “breaking the taboo.” Her rejection of Chung Myung and of her true feelings leads to a series of events that results in Chung Myung’s “beastly” form being revealed—that is, his capacity for betrayal, deception, and acting in his own self-interest at the expense of those around him—i.e. the metaphorical qualities of a snake. This might sound like a circular line of thinking (it is), but I am framing this sequence of events in this way for the purpose of reading the story as a Search for the Lost Husband tale rather than a Quest of the Lost Bride tale in which the roles are reversed. On that note…

Part 2: Search for the Lost Husband or Quest for the Lost Bride?

(a.k.a. an aside in which I ramble on)

In a Search for the Lost Husband story, a betrayal such as Chung Myung’s on the part of the mythical husband would constitute a role reversal, and thus would be incredibly rare. However, a husband’s betrayal is commonplace in Quest for the Lost Bride stories. So, you might be asking yourself, other than switching the gender roles, how are ATU-425: Search for the Lost Husband and ATU-400: Quest for the Lost Bride stories different? Well, the biggest difference is in the story’s conclusion. A Search for the Lost Husband story usually has a happy ending with the couple reuniting, while the husband’s Quest for his mythical wife is usually unsuccessful. There are a few reasons for this, which I will get into later, but for now, all you need to know is that, in general, a betrayal by the mythical husband usually results in tragedy whereas a betrayal by the mythical wife usually ends with her successfully recovering her lost husband.

Because the love story between Man Wol and Chung Myung is ill-fated, in my interpretation, it follows the tragic Quest for the Lost Bride route. It includes hallmarks of tragedy such as a permanent separation of the mythical couple (as seen by Man Wol turning her back on Chung Myung on the bridge to the afterlife) and the husband wallowing away in grief and despair for the remainder of his days (as seen by Chung Myung remaining as a firefly for 1300 years only to cross the bridge by himself). However, as I hope to demonstrate in this meta, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story also contains enough elements distinct to Search for the Lost Husband stories that, in my opinion, it could have gone either way, either ending with permanent tragedy for the pair, or happily with a love that transcended death. The show-writers were probably well aware of this, as the show itself seems to toy with the idea of Koo Chan Sung, the first male lead, being the reincarnation of Go Chung Myung, but eventually this is revealed to be a misdirection.

In addition to containing many unmistakable elements of ATU-425, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story already sees many elements reversed anyway. It is Chung Myung, the hero, who is associated with royalty/nobility, not the maiden Man Wol. She is the one who is an outlaw and is shown to be quite ruthless, fierce, and scary, like the villainous Eros.

A critical aspect of the Eros and Psyche myth is that both Eros and Psyche must undergo joint journeys toward individuation. As a result, their journeys can naturally be thought of as parallel if not interchangeable. In this way, having Man Wol and Chung Myung move back and forth between the positions of Eros and Psyche, or “lost spouse” and “searching spouse,” does not actually contradict the story structure of the Eros and Psyche myth. Furthermore, often a husband’s failed quest for his lost bride serves as a prelude to a switch to the feminine perspective in which the wife’s search for her lost husband is successful.

We know that for as long as Chung Myung had remained with Man Wol as a firefly, she, too, had spent all those years waiting for him to arrive at her hotel. Given that the pair was mutually waiting for the other for over 1300 years and with a curse of her own for Man Wol to overcome, when Man Wol finally says Chung Myung’s name and he reappears before her, it seemed like all the ingredients were there for a successful recovery of the lost animal husband and the mythical couple reuniting in love and joy. This is also the moment when the flower petals of the Moon Tree finally fall, indicating that Man Wol’s punishment has come to an end. Despite this, the show still sticks to the unhappy Quest for the Lost Bride trajectory for this pair.

Typically in a Quest for the Lost Bride tale, the husband's betrayal is due to his fear, arrogance, or lack of faith in/faithfulness to his wife. These attributes are then harshly punished by the story’s tragic end for him. Although perhaps fear factored into Chung Myung’s decision to betray Man Wol, and arguably heedlessness into him getting caught in the first place, his reasoning for the betrayal, rather than highlighting a fatal flaw in his character, paints him as a victim of circumstance more than anything else. He was backed into a corner by the princess and coerced into betraying Man Wol against his own wishes while making a bargain for her life to be spared. It would seem that this betrayal was not about saving his own neck (he told Yeon Woo he was planning on paying for his sins with his life afterward), but rather saving as many innocents as possible (his relatives in the castle and the Gaori villagers).

As punishment for his misdeeds, Chung Myung dies by Man Wol’s sword and remains as a firefly, unseen to her for 1300 years, both of which were fates he elected for himself. Yet, after he finally has the chance to explain his side of the story to Man Wol, and she is able to make peace with what happened and let go of her grudges, for some reason the narrative isn’t through punishing him. Man Wol abandons him on the bridge to the afterlife, and the pair is separated forever after. The remorseful Chung Myung’s ultimate fate is characterized by eternal punishment and heartache for offenses that were deliberately portrayed by the narrative in a sympathetic light. This eternal punishment, in my opinion, comes off as exceedingly harsh, especially in contrast to other characters like Man Wol and Princess Song Hwa who had the blood of many on their hands, yet were both given happy endings in which they were able to find love again.

Part 3: Chung Myung and Man Wol as Eros and Psyche (cont.)

As much as a part of me relishes in the tragedy and melodrama of the storyline the show gave us with Man Wol and Chung Myung, my biggest qualm about its ending is that it retroactively suggests that Man Wol’s decision to forsake her love with Chung Myung was the right one? She alluded to the worldly barriers that stood between them when she told Chung Myung they could never be together. She spoke those words out of cynicism and guardedness, and she was at her least authentic to herself and her true desires when she said them. And yet, the narrative ultimately proves them correct? After a millennium had swept away the conditions that had made their love precarious and impossible in the first place, Man Wol still ended up being right: their love was not meant to be; it was never meant to be. (╥_╥)

The Husband’s True Form is Revealed, the Wife’s Love for him Deepens:

Psyche approaches her sleeping husband armed with flame and steel, prepared to kill him. When she discovers that he is the beautiful god Eros, she accidentally pricks herself with one of his arrows and falls even more in love with him. In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the wounded husband flees, and the distraught wife loves him so much that she is willing to walk to the ends of the earth, often until holes have been worn into the soles of iron shoes, to find him.

For Man Wol, there are two scenes in which she approaches Chung Myung equipped to kill him. The first plays the wife’s-love-deepening trope straight whereas the second directly subverts it.

In the first, Man Wol is hiding in a shed as a runaway slave. When someone enters the shed, she jumps out from her hiding place and blindly attacks the intruder with her dagger, unaware that it is Chung Myung. It is only when he catches her wrist mid-swing that she stops and sees his true identity. Her eyes quiver in recognition. The framing of this sequence—the use of slow motion, the soft music, the pair’s heavy breathing and parted lips, the symmetry of their silhouettes—indicate that this moment is especially significant; we are watching the moment when they fall for each other.

Afterward, Chung Myung protects Man Wol by telling the soldiers who are looking for her to search elsewhere. This is followed up by a scene of Chung Myung bandaging Man Wol’s wound, clear visual language for the care and tenderness between them.

The second time Man Wol is prepared to kill Chung Myung is, of course, in the royal bridal chamber. There, she intends to destroy him, particularly the “monstrous” part of him that is loyal and wedded to the princess. She wields her sword (steel), then burns the palace to the ground (with flame).

At this point in the story, Chung Myung’s loyalties had already been put to the test after he found himself at a crossroads when confronted by Princess Song Hwa. Seeing Chung Myung’s “true colors” revealed, Man Wol, rather than growing in love, grows in deep hatred of him.

A Harsh Light Exposes What Lies in the Darkness, The Snake Recoils:

The light from Psyche’s lamp reveals her husband’s true form. She becomes so startled that, in addition to pricking herself with one of Eros’s arrows, she spills hot oil from her lamp onto him. The wounded Eros recoils and retreats to the protection of his mother, Aphrodite.

Psyche had, quite literally, been kept in the dark about the identity of her invisible husband. When she casts his true form into the light, this can be read allegorically as her leaving a childlike state of ignorance behind and gaining a sense of consciousness. This new knowledge and awareness, although initially leading to pain and heartache, is ultimately necessary for Psyche—who represents the human soul—to individuate and enter true adulthood. Eros represents Psyche’s Shadow, her repressed desires that she fears to claim. When Psyche wields the knife and lamp, she strips back her own illusions and refuses to continue living in the dark. Psyche’s pursuit of Eros—the Soul’s pursuit of Desire—elevates her from her mortal status. The product of this union is a daughter named “Joy.”

One notable parallel to Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story is that Chung Myung, under the threat of never seeing Man Wol again, leaves the signal to meet at the lake where he awaits her with what appears to be a token of betrothal.

He is exposed in the sense that he sets up this meeting in broad daylight for a change, as well as in that Princess Song Hwa arrives first to expose him as a colluder with the rebellion and a traitor to his country. Under duress, he retreats to the side of Princess Song Hwa who corresponds to Aphrodite.

However, I think the comparison becomes much more interesting if we think of Man Wol as the snake-like Eros and Chung Myung as the light-bearing Psyche. Chung Myung—the man who was transformed into a firefly and whose name (hanja: 清明; pinyin: qīngmíng) translates to “Pure and Bright”—is the light that reveals Man Wol’s true self. He draws out her capacity to be warm-hearted despite her cynicism. Man Wol (hanja: 满月) is the “Full Moon” whose glow is only a reflection of the light cast upon it (from the Sun. Yes, I’m invoking Yin and Yang here). Man Wol cannot hide her true self from Chung Myung because he sees through the front she puts up and the walls she has built around her. She shows discomfort with this vulnerability such as after Chung Myung surmises that she came to see him in the castle because she had missed him while drinking alone.

When Chung Myung offers to run away with Man Wol, his light shines too brightly, and she recoils from him. But we know she is acting against her true desires as seen by her tearful look as she watches him leave and by her impetuousness to see him one more time. The break-up scene between Man Wol and Chung Myung presents a moment in which Man Wol must confront the desires that she has been desperately trying to conceal from herself but outwardly manifest in the form of Chung Myung.

In forsaking her love, Man Wol acts in fear of her desires. On the other hand, this break-up can simultaneously be viewed as an act of Man Wol’s agency to make decisions about her own life. She is well within her rights to end this relationship as it had always been incredibly risky, even scandalous, for both involved. Chung Myung had been looking the other way and, at times, actively helping out a gang of criminals. Man Wol had been placing her trust in someone whose job it was to arrest and capture people like her. Her reasons for joining the rebellion—it’s better than living as a thief, getting caught, and dying young—see her taking steps toward achieving the stability and longevity that she wished for. It’s just that she couldn’t conceive of a way to achieve these things while keeping Chung Myung at her side (when arguably this may have been possible). I also think that Man Wol truly thought that putting her feelings aside and breaking things off between her and Chung Myung was the safest decision for the two of them. In a cruel twist of irony, however, this indirectly leads to the catastrophic series of events that occurred in the fallout of their relationship that the break-up was intended to prevent.

In my opinion, Man Wol’s character arc on the show, in addition to resolving her deep grudges and healing from her past, should have involved her learning not to run away from her desires and integrating her Shadow/animus.

The Wounded Husband Flees and is Confined, the Heroine is Tormented:

The injured Eros is looked after by his mother Aphrodite who confines him in her house for far longer than he wishes or is necessary for him to recover. As Psyche continues to seek her lost husband, the furious Aphrodite drags her by the hair and has her whipped and tortured by her lackeys Sadness and Sorrow.

In other versions of ATU-425, the fleeing husband becomes fatally ill or is about to be married off to another bride, often a monster or ogress who, like Aphrodite, holds him against his will. Symbolically, these two fates are the same as the prince’s illness is akin to being wedded to Death. Typically at this point, the heroine arrives just in time to cure her lost husband or rescue him from a loveless marriage.

After Man Wol’s rejection, Chung Myung returns, against his wishes, to the side of Princess Song Hwa. When Man Wol rides to the lake seeking him, she encounters Song Hwa instead who gleefully has her arrested while mocking her as the cause of her people’s demise. 

As a quick aside, Princess Song Hwa is wearing a completely different robe when she confronts Man Wol from the one she wore when confronting Chung Myung at the lake which could indicate that a significant amount of time passed between these two occurrences. They may have even taken place on different days, meaning Man Wol arrived much too late.

Chung Myung is forced to marry Song Hwa even though his heart still belongs to Man Wol. Our heroine Man Wol arrives on the night of the wedding to kill him rather than to rescue her mythical husband from his marriage to the Death-bride.

The Heroine Undergoes an Arduous Journey to Reunite with her Lost Husband:

In order to see Eros again, Psyche must complete four seemingly impossible tasks given to her by the angry Aphrodite (in other tales it’s usually three impossible tasks, but Aphrodite is extra mean and gives Psyche a fourth). Eros’s hand is present in the assistance she receives for each task—in the ants, river spirits, eagle, and tower that come to her aid. The completion of these tasks credits Psyche for her bravery and persistence, and therefore she is presented as worthy of her divine husband. The details in other ATU-425 stories vary widely but are largely unimportant. Typically, the heroine will have to travel a great distance, collect magical items, and accept supernatural aid in order to recover her lost husband.

After the deadly night of the royal wedding, both Man Wol and Chung Myung have long journeys ahead of them to atone in some way for the sins they committed in their lives. Man Wol becomes cursed as the owner of the Guest House of the Moon and receives assistance in the form of Koo Chan Sung who himself receives guidance at pivotal moments from Chung Myung’s ghostly insect form. 

This struck me as similar to how Eros is present in the small insects—ants—who help Psyche complete the first task of sorting out the grains. Chung Myung’s unwavering persistence in remaining at Man Wol’s side as a firefly is shown to have impressed Mago and even the Grim Reaper.

A “seemingly impossible” task needs to be accomplished for both Man Wol and Chung Myung’s curses to be lifted: the Moon Tree must bloom and wither flowers—meaning Man Wol’s heart must soften—for time to flow for her once again; for Chung Myung to regain his human form and appear before Man Wol she must utter his name, a feat rendered seemingly impossible due to Man Wol’s deep-seated resentment.

A Trip to a Realm only Accessible to the Dead, Another Way:

When Psyche is successful in completing three impossible tasks, Aphrodite makes one final attempt to get rid of her. Psyche must descend to the Underworld and bring back a piece of Queen Persephone’s beauty in a box to be delivered to Aphrodite. At first, Psyche believes that the only way to reach the Underworld is to die, so she prepares to fling herself from a tower. But Eros speaks to Psyche through the tower, instructing her on another way to enter the Underworld. He gives her highly specific instructions as well as coins for the boat ride across the river Styx. She must not deviate from these instructions lest she remain trapped in the Underworld forever.

Wanting absolution for all the lives she took, Man Wol journeys to the end of the road in search of the mythical Guest House of the Moon where the souls of the dead gather and are consoled. As the afterlife in this story leads to reincarnation and new life, it does not correspond to the Underworld; the Guest House of the Moon is more of an equivalent as it is a mythical, if temporary, abode for the souls of the dead. When Mago tells Man Wol that only the dead can go there, Man Wol draws her sword to her own neck, saying she is willing to take her own life just to get there.

Mago tells Man Wol that it is foolish to think she can compensate for her sins with her life this way. Man Wol becomes tied to the Moon Tree instead, caught between life and death and cursed to serve as the innkeeper of the Guest House.

Just like Man Wol, Chung Myung believes the only way he can pay for the debt of his wrongdoings is with his own life. It is the voice of Yeon Woo that stops Chung Myung from doing this and insists there is another way for him to pay for his sins—he must live on as a traitor to ensure that Man Wol survives.

Traps and Risks in the Underworld:

Several traps lie in Psyche’s way as she journeys to Hades, chiefly if she opens the casket containing Persephone’s beauty out of curiosity she will never return from the Underworld.

The biggest trap set for Man Wol is the possibility of her giving into her anger and resentment, becoming an evil, spiteful ghost and vanishing forever. This would mean she would never leave the Underworld of the Guest House or move onto the afterlife to be reborn.

Chung Myung, who is also stuck in this Underworld as Man Wol’s first guest, also faces a great risk there. Over the 1300 years, his soul has become weary and his light has faded. With little energy left, he may vanish before reaching the bridge to the afterlife.

Facing Temptation, Return from Death’s Clutches:

Psyche carefully follows all of Eros’s instructions and manages to escape the Underworld. Thinking she has succeeded, Psyche wishes to take some of Persephone’s beauty for herself to please her husband. But what’s in the box is the Sleep of Death, and she falls down lifeless. Eros, who has healed and can no longer bear Psyche’s absence, breaks free from his prison and wipes the sleep from her eyes.

[Psyche Opening the Golden Box by John William Waterhouse]

In other versions of ATU-425, the prince is on the brink of death or about to marry another woman when his wife finds and rescues him. To save the lost husband, the heroine must perform a task that only she can do, or use a blood sacrifice to cure his affliction. In this way, she is uniquely able to save him from a literal/spiritual/metaphorical death. 

Chung Myung’s marriage to a false bride is interrupted by Man Wol who infiltrates the castle intending to kill him. In some cases, such as with a snake-husband, a violent means is necessary to break the curse. With a snake, death or burning of the snake’s skin are typically the only ways for the snake-husband to be transformed back into his true self. Since Chung Myung has taken on the metaphorical qualities of a snake, it could be argued that only by dying and the subsequent burning of his body can he regain his humanity. Thus, Man Wol’s decisions to slay Song Hwa, the Death-bride, run Chung Myung through, and burn down the castle, while ruthless, are not, by themselves, mythically inconsistent with the ATU-425 folktale type.

1300 years later, Man Wol knows that her encounter with Chung Myung is inevitable, and she must face her temptation to give into her anger, destroy his soul, and vanish forever. However, after hearing his side of the story and learning of the promise he made to Yeon Woo, Man Wol’s anger dissipates. She is seemingly able to forgive Chung Myung, or at least let go of her resentments toward him.

The one final task that Man Wol is assigned by Mago is one that only she can accomplish: she must see Chung Myung off and accompany him on the bridge to the afterlife, thus saving him from vanishing forever i.e. spiritual death.

Recognition Motif:

After the heroine rescues her lost husband, typically there is a moment when the prince finally recognizes the heroine after their long separation and declares her his one true wife. The lost husband may not recognize the searching wife until she performs the one task that only she can do or until she shows the lost husband a gift she once received from him.

Apotheosis, Sacred Marriage, Happily Ever After:

A moment of recognition on Man Wol’s part occurs when Chung Myung’s ghost, while in possession of Chan Sung’s body, caresses Man Wol in a hauntingly familiar way. Later, she realizes that the firefly is Chung Myung who has been with her all along. She says his name, and he appears before her. A moment of recognition on the part of would-be prince Chung Myung happened much earlier in the bridal chamber when he said he wished to welcome Man Wol as a beautiful bride (his true bride).

Eros and Psyche have a proper wedding that is blessed and attended by all the deities. She eats ambrosia which makes her immortal so that the pair can be united for eternity as equals. Psyche, now a deity in her own right, gives birth to a daughter named Hedone or “Joy.”

Man Wol and Chung Myung walk down the bridge to the afterlife together, but stop midway. There, on the edge of eternity, Chung Myung offers Man Wol his hand in symbolic union one last time. He pleads with his eyes for her to join him and move on together, but she turns her back on him, departing from the mythic structure and leaving him to cross into oblivion by his lonesome. This is how their story ends.

Part 4: More Parallels and Discussion

The Husband is Rebuked by the Cruel One who Sent Him:

When Aphrodite learns that Eros fell in love with her enemy Psyche rather than dooming her to fall in love with a loathsome monster, she rebukes him as a failure. Aphrodite sees Psyche as a direct threat and is fearful of being usurped by her.

When Song Hwa finds out that Chung Myung has fallen in love with an enemy and has been in league with Man Wol’s gang of bandits instead of quashing them, she chastises him as a traitor to his country, then blackmails him into doing her bidding and rounding up the thieves. Song Hwa and her father view Man Wol and her thieves as an existential threat to their kingdom. Like Aphrodite, Song Hwa is afraid that she will be usurped by Man Wol in two ways: first, she is afraid of a resurgent Goguryeo overthrowing her kingdom; second, she views Man Wol as a romantic rival for Chung Myung’s affections.

The Beauty Repeatedly Rejects the Beast’s Marriage Proposals:

As there is strong overlap between Beauty and the Beast type stories and Animal Bridegroom stories, ATU-425 stories can be read in those terms. Just as how Eros was the one who was pricked by his own arrow at the sight of Psyche, the Beast is the one who falls in love with the Beauty first, whereas the Beauty only starts to fall in love with him as she sees past his veneer and looks into the man who is inside. The couple’s momentary bliss, however, cannot last, as the Beast is not ready to let go of his brutish exterior. When he clings to his literal or metaphorical beast-form, the Beauty must reject him. (Think Jane fleeing Rochester after his bigamy is discovered in Jane Eyre.) It is only after he makes some kind of self-sacrifice on her behalf, often involving a literal/metaphorical death and rebirth, that the Beauty finally professes her love to him. Often this declaration of love is all it takes to heal him from the brink of death.

Man Wol rejects Chung Myung’s “marriage proposals” on three separate occasions. First is when he offers to run away with her when she is about to leave to join the rebellion.

This botched proposal is prolonged; Man Wol initially rejects Chung Myung, but when he leaves the signal to meet at the lake, two details imply that, had she arrived on time, Man Wol may have changed her mind: 1) As mentioned previously, Yeon Woo seems to doubt that Man Wol will return from bidding Chung Myung a final adieu, and 2) while wallowing in self-loathing and speaking to a past version of herself, modern-day Man Wol says that she would have been happy to have received the metal brooch Chung Myung intended as a gift for her. Regardless of whether Man Wol would have changed her mind or not, Chung Myung’s attempts to risk his life and elope with Man Wol fail, and we see how things go horribly awry when the princess arrives at the lake to confront Chung Myung before Man Wol can reach him.

Man Wol rejects an overt insinuation of a marriage rite during her confrontation with Chung Myung in the chamber where the royal marriage was supposed to be consummated. He invokes the image of them as the true bridal couple by referring to Man Wol as “a beautiful bride” whom he missed and wished to caress. She is not receptive to this and reasserts her blade against his neck.

The last time Man Wol rejects Chung Myung’s hand in a metaphorical marriage is on the bridge to the afterlife.

The first of these botched proposals happens due to Man Wol’s hesitancy, fears, and doubts, as well as Song Hwa’s interference.

The second rejection in the bridal chamber is the most mythically consistent because Chung Myung is already wedded to a death threefold—1) Song Hwa as the Death-bride, 2) the imminent physical death promised to him by Man Wol, and 3) the spiritual death of living as a traitor to himself and his desires. Also, while Chung Myung’s undying love for Man Wol is on full display in this scene, at this point, he can be interpreted as still clinging to his snake-form since he continues to provide Man Wol with no explanation for his actions.

In choosing Chan Sung over Chung Myung, Man Wol only accomplishes one of these things. She turns her back on her painful past, closing that chapter in her life. But her choice does not lead to lasting joy, at least not in that lifetime, as shortly thereafter she must depart for the afterlife herself and leave Chan Sung behind. Furthermore, Man Wol’s love with Chan Sung makes no statements about an older versus newer way of doing things because Chan Sung is from Man Wol’s present. Chan Sung represents a fresh start for Man Wol unfettered by her personal past, but he does not necessarily represent a rejection of the precepts of the past more broadly.

As for the last, after 1300 years Chung Myung has finally gone through his transformation and is restored from a firefly back into a man. Man Wol rejects him on the bridge, not because he is still part-Beast, but because she has fallen in love with someone else—a departure from this story structure. This is the point at which the mythical couple, now more worthy of each other after their trials and tribulations, is typically joined in an alchemical union which gives birth to “joy” along with freedom from the pains of the past and the older generation’s way of doing things.

Compare this to a reunion with Chung Myung that would have transcended time, death, clan, class, war, ill-fate, heartache, misunderstanding, resentment, and all the other seemingly insurmountable obstacles, both manmade and metaphysical, that stood in the way of this couple’s happiness. A happy ending for this couple would signify that love is more powerful than any obstacle, that true love finds a way even when there seems to be none, and that a love that is forbidden in its time is only considered taboo due to the small-mindedness of people.

On the Bridal Chamber Scene:

I just wanted to elaborate more on how this scene merges the wedding and funeral rites. Man Wol attempts to kill Chung Myung here, but when she hesitates, he takes his fate into his own hands and sacrifices himself by running himself through. Apart from this literal self-sacrifice, Chung Myung also puts his own wants and needs aside in favor of Man Wol’s by saving Chan Sung on the tunnel to the afterlife and facilitating his reunion with Man Wol.

The final duel between Man Wol and Chung Myung takes place in the room where a marriage was supposed to be consummated. After killing Song Hwa, Man Wol disguises herself in Song Hwa’s bridal garments, clearly playing upon the idea of a false and true bride. Song Hwa’s bridal gown is rightfully hers, but in terms of her marriage to Chung Myung, she is only dressing the part. Meanwhile, Man Wol’s appearance in these bridal robes is false—it’s a ruse—but at heart she is Chung Myung’s true bride.

I find the decision to don the bridal attire on Man Wol’s part fascinating. Even if it wasn’t her intention, it’s as though she’s claiming her rightful place as Chung Myung’s intended bride. She even goes to the trouble of unveiling herself in the same way that Song Hwa did when she expected to be greeted by Chung Myung. 

Even if on a conscious level, Man Wol only wore the bridal garb in order to catch Chung Myung off guard or to vindictively shove in his face what they could have been, her “disguise,” on some level, reveals her true aspect. Man Wol may, in a literal sense, be merely occupying Song Hwa’s place in the royal bedchamber, but in this same act, she is refusing to let Song Hwa supplant her at Chung Myung’s side. Ultimately, Man Wol’s effort to catch Chung Myung off guard backfires because he uses it to garner her sympathy and demonstrate that he still loves her.

Furthermore, after Chung Myung breathes his last, Man Wol is left feeling shocked, hollow, and empty. It might have been easy to miss, but she appears to mourn his death. She even sheds tears for him, and perhaps, for herself and what she’s become.

This isn’t the triumphant face of someone who just enacted her long-awaited revenge over an enemy; this isn’t even the face of relief over not having to kill someone she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to kill. This is the face of mourning.

I might be wrong about this, but the music that plays over their final exchange of words is reminscent of Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem. This dirgeful piece of music is part of a funeral mass setting. Additionally, this piece of music is associated with the following sculpture by Antonio Canova.

[Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss]

This famous sculpture depicts the moment when Eros revives Psyche from the Sleep of Death. 

Was the choice to evoke this particular piece of music composed for funerals and associated with the Eros and Psyche myth over the bridal room scene simply a coincidence? Honestly maybe, I might be reaching with this connection ahaha.

Beethoven’s famous Moonlight Sonata then starts playing as Chung Myung’s hand reaches to hold the back of Man Wol’s head. This song also notably has the somber character of a funeral march. These same notes are played during the opening sequence of the show as Man Wol travels with the coffin containing the trinkets of her deceased friends in search of the Guest House of the Moon, which is a kind of funeral procession.

Healing the Wounded Masculine:

The heroine’s ability to save her lost husband from a dark or deathly fate is a testament to her power and the strength of her love. This can be read as a literalization of the point in Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey at which the wounded masculine is healed then subsequently integrated with the feminine in a “sacred marriage” that transcends the masculine-feminine duality.

Man Wol already acts to heal Chung Myung by letting go of her resentments toward him and accompanying him on the bridge to the afterlife. She saves him from an eternal spiritual death in the form of vanishing, thus healing the outer wounded masculine (Chung Myung). Man Wol’s self-loathing could constitute her inner masculine that needs healing as well. It can be inferred from the scene in Episode 14 in which Man Wol talks to a past version of herself that she blamed herself for the death of her people and believed that she was foolish to have ever fallen in love with Chung Myung. The curse that she creates for Chan Sung when she suspects he is Chung Myung’s reincarnation takes the form of a shadow-version of herself.

This deep bitterness that Man Wol harbors for her past self is presumably destroyed along with the metal ornament when it is dissolved by her tears at the end of her long-awaited meeting with Chung Myung—note how this differs from the recognition motif in which the heroine shows her mythical husband a gift he had once given her, and then he recognizes her as his one true bride. In this way, the shadow-version of Man Wol, her wounded masculine, is resolved by coming to accept that Chung Myung truly loved her and wasn’t playing her for a fool the whole time. This point would have been spelled out further if Man Wol accepted and returned Chung Myung’s love—if both the outer and inner halves were integrated in a “marriage.”

A Refusal to Live in the Dark:

Psyche’s refusal to live in a state of childlike ignorance/dependence is what launches her out of a state of unconscious and onto her journey. Eros likewise spends much of the story under the thumb of his overbearing mother, and he, too, must undergo a journey toward individuation. Eros and Psyche’s stories complement each other, and they must overcome similar flaws in temperament.

Man Wol launches herself into consciousness by choosing to join the rebellion. No longer satisfied with a life doomed to be cut short, she rejects her life as a thief and takes steps to achieve longevity past her youth. For Chung Myung, refusing to continue living a lie means pursuing his love even unto death, defecting, and quitting serving a princess and despotic kingdom to which he holds no strong affinity. It means following his heart and returning to the land of his forefathers (recall that Chung Myung mentions that his family originally hails from Goguryeo and jokingly says that he and Man Wol could be kin—hence, his term of endearment for her is “nui” or sister).

Both must be courageous to extricate themselves from the false families they have built for themselves, even if it initially leads to pain. For these risks, they should be rewarded with a joyous reunion. Instead, their story ends in infinite separation which, in the language of a Search for the Lost Husband story, means that one of the two is still being punished.

Different Taboos Yield Different Endings:

Earlier, I alluded to the fact that ATU-425: Search for the Lost Husband tales more often end happily while their ATU-400: Quest for the Lost Bride counterparts usually end in tragedy. One explanation for this can be found in Barbara Fass Leavy’s observation that taboos imposed on mythical husbands and mythical wives are different. For this part, I’ll borrow the words of Tumblr user @allgirlsareprincesses from her post about The Death of Love and the Lonely Soul in TROS:

In her book on swan maiden tales, author Barbara Fass Leavy points out that the taboos imposed on mythical husbands are different than those imposed on mythical wives. Men, for example, are most often prohibited from abusing their fairy brides, while women are prohibited from looking upon their fairy husbands or knowing their true identity. Leavy states: “In general, taboos imposed on the wife in Cupid and Psyche tales are often intended to keep her in her place, to prevent her from achieving some autonomy by knowing who her husband is, seeing him, or being able to disclose his identity to others.”

As these taboos are reflective of a patriarchal context, the difference in these taboos suggests an inherent imbalance in the relationship between husband and wife. Men are instructed not to abuse their power, whereas women are advised not to challenge their husbands’ authority or demand a more equal relationship. However, what is subversive about these fairy tales is that, despite breaking these taboos and challenging male authority, the women in these stories ultimately defy death. They are able to recover their lost husbands and are even elevated to royal/divine status for their courage and tenacity, thus entering into more equal marriages with their husbands.

In Man Wol and Chung Myung’s relationship, there is a clear power imbalance. As a bandit, Man Wol is on the wrong side of the law, and as a lowly migrant, she lives on the margins of her kingdom in a constant state of instability and upheaval. Meanwhile, Chung Myung, while originally of a humble migrant background, rose through the ranks to captain an arm of the kingdom’s military. He is the one in a position of power, power which he initially wields to protect Man Wol but is soon twisted against him. And yes, while Man Wol herself is the leader of her clan, her authority’s legitimacy pales in comparison to Chung Myung’s when he is favored by the princess and aligned with the royal crown.

This power imbalance is leveled on the night of the royal wedding. Chung Myung’s power is stripped from him in death as he is transformed into a pitiful firefly. Man Wol, a woman on the run, is on her way to a kind of death that awaits her as the owner of the Guest House of the Moon. Frozen in time, Man Wol becomes ageless. Unlike the immortality that is granted to Psyche which unites her to Eros as equals, Man Wol’s immortality is an everlasting punishment. Still, as owner of the Guest House of the Moon, Man Wol gains some special abilities which are showcased throughout the course of the show. She is able to influence the fate of Chan Sung’s father who appears to her on the verge of death and is able to magically protect Chan Sung at several points.

When Man Wol finally says Chung Myung’s name, he briefly appears to her as he did in his life as man without armor. It is during this long-awaited encounter that the petals of the Moon Tree fall, indicating that Man Wol has regained her mortality and must serve as the owner of the Guest House no longer. Afterward, Chung Myung is transformed back into a firefly, and he is not strong enough to make it to the bridge to the afterlife on his own. He is at the mercy of Man Wol who, after letting go of her ill-will toward him, agrees to accompany him to the afterlife. On the bridge crossing the Samdo river, Chung Myung appears as a man once more. He reaches his hand out to Man Wol and offers her the option to move onto the afterlife together, united in death on equal footing at last.

Part 5: Chung Myung and Man Wol as Orpheus and Eurydice

I’ll try to keep this section brief since this post is already way too long as it is. As mentioned previously, when the gender roles in a Search for the Lost Husband story are reversed, the tale more often than not ends in tragedy. So, since the love story between Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung is a tragic one, it can fairly easily be read as a Quest for the Lost Bride-type story. The famous version of this story in Greek mythology is the tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice. While it bears some similarities to the Eros and Psyche story, including a treacherous trip to the Underworld, Orpheus and Eurydice centers a masculine perspective as opposed to a feminine one. 

In the Greek myth, the union between Orpheus and Eurydice is doomed from the outset. Hymen, the god of marriage never blesses their wedding. In other Lost Bride tales, the powers that be may forbid the union (due to caste, clan, parent’s wishes, etc.) so the marriage must take place in secret.

After being bitten by a venomous snake, Eurydice dies and descends to the Underworld. In other Lost Bride stories, a separation between the husband and wife pair occurs when the wife dies during childbirth or after a betrayal on the part of the husband at which point the bride retreats back into her animal/swan form. With the bride lost or trapped in the Underworld, the husband must begin his quest.

The devastated Orpheus wallows and roams the earth, playing mournful songs on his lyre. Our hero descends to the Underworld and appeals to Hades and Persephone to return Eurydice to him. They agree but tell him that Eurydice must walk behind him on their way out of the Underworld. Orpheus is warned that he must not look back at her or else she will remain as a shade in Hades forever.

The hero swears he will obey whatever condition is put upon him, but he ultimately fails. Orpheus gives into the temptation and looks back to see if Eurydice has lost her footing. This “look back” is the equivalent of the breaking of the taboo from Lost Husband stories; it signifies a loss of faith or an inability to resist the lure of power or another lover.

Unlike the Search for the Lost Husband which rewards its heroine for her persistence with passionate love, the Quest for the Lost Bride contains harsh punishment for the failures of its hero. Orpheus loses Eurydice forever, and upon returning from the Underworld, he is torn to pieces by followers of Dionysus. His head floats down a river to the island of Lesbos to always sing sorrowful songs.

Another version of the Lost Bride story that I would like to highlight is from perhaps the most famous ballet of all time, Swan Lake. The ballet is about a princess named Odette who has been cursed by an evil sorcerer to remain a swan by day and a maid by night. The curse over Odette can only be broken if someone who has never loved before swears to love her forever. When the young Prince Siegfried, who has just come of age, stumbles upon the enchanted lake where Odette resides, the pair falls in love. Siegfried invites Odette to the ball his mother is holding the following evening in which he is supposed to select his bride.

At the royal ball, Von Rothbart, the evil sorcerer who cast the spell on Odette, arrives in disguise along with his daughter Odile who has been transformed to look like Odette. Thus, Prince Siegfried unknowingly pledges his troth to the villainous Odile rather than his true love Odette. Odette, who arrives just in time to witness this, retreats back to the titular swan lake, doomed to remain a swan forever on account of Siegfried’s betrayal.

Despite these Lost Bride/Swan Maiden stories ending in tragedy, variations exist that end on a happy note. In some versions of Orpheus and Eurydice, Orpheus descends to the Underworld for good and is reunited with Eurydice, to spend eternity together, hand-in-hand. Similarly, some versions of Swan Lake end with a double suicide that vanquishes evil, breaks Rothbart’s curse over the other swan-maidens, and results in an apotheosis for Odette and Siegfried who are eternally united in death.

Although different productions of Swan Lake contain vastly different endings, the original ends in tragedy. In versions with a tragic end, Prince Siegfried is killed in his final struggle with Rothbart, or Odette permanently becomes a swan while the grief-stricken Siegfried remains alone at the story’s conclusion.

The apotheosis from American Ballet Theatre’s 2005 TV version of Swan Lake.

So, how do these stories relate to Man Wol and Chung Myung’s? Well, first, it’s clear from even the very first minutes of Hotel del Luna that Man Wol’s love with Chung Myung is bound to end poorly because the show opens with Man Wol being doomed to keep the Guest House of the Moon as a punishment for killing numerous people. The mystery that unfolds throughout the course of the show is exactly what drove her to kill so many, and the answers we’re given about Man Wol’s past are all tied to Go Chung Myung.

The inciting event that takes the place of the wife’s tragic death or husband’s infidelity is Chung Myung’s betrayal of Man Wol. Like Prince Siegfried, Chung Myung fails to pledge his troth to his true love and instead pledges his loyalties to the false-bride Song Hwa.

It is after this betrayal that Man Wol returns to her ‘enchanted’ form, that is, in contrast to the true self that the ‘prince’ Chung Myung had drawn out of her, Man Wol resumes her inauthentic aspect as ruthless bandit. After slaying the false-bride along with countless others, Man Wol becomes trapped in the Underworld (the Guest House), and her treacherous lover joins her shortly thereafter.

Chung Myung’s persistence in remaining at Man Wol’s side as well as Man Wol’s refusal to budge after all those years appeal to Mago, the ruler of this Underworld, and cause her to create the conditions that bring Koo Chan Sung to the hotel. It is Chan Sung’s entrance into Man Wol’s life that leads to her confronting her past and her eventual reunion with Chung Myung.

However, the power imbalance that we saw in Search for the Lost Husband tales is not entirely absent in their Quest for the Lost Bride counterparts. When Lost Bride tales are retold from a particular masculine perspective, the happy ending often predicates upon the husband successfully subjugating his wife rather than a marriage of two lovers as equals.

When Man Wol reunites with Go Chung Myung, he appears to her in his humble attire without his armor and says few words, accepting her decision to let go of her resentments toward him while she insists that it's time for him "move on" to the afterlife. Man Wol forgives Chung Myung, but she doesn't welcome him back with open arms, and subsequently declines his invitation to move on together. Chung Myung takes a more passive role in these interactions, so I don't really get the vibe that a happy ending between him and Man Wol would have predicated on him subjugating or dominating Man Wol. Man Wol is able to let go of her grudge toward Chung Myung, but they were ultimately unable to rekindle their love.

Alright, it's high time to wrap this up. On a closing note, I would like to say this is just one lens through which this story can be analyzed. My analysis focused on the historical subplot of Hotel Del Luna which is only one of its many concurrent storylines. You can easily read the overarching love story between Man Wol and Chan Sung as a gender-swapped Beauty and The Beast story with Man Wol as the cold and conceited "Beast" who holds Chan Sung's father hostage in episode 1 only to spare his life in exchange for his son's servitude, the Moon Tree as an analogue to the magical rose, and the Hotel del Luna serving as the Beast's enchanted palace.

I hope you enjoyed this long-winded meta, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading <3

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

It might look like a solar system or a galaxy, but this actually a view of the Burning Man shot from a drone in 2019.

More details/photos: https://bit.ly/3z2gSgm

* * * *

250 Drones Play Space Invaders at Burning Man 2022

by Hasan 

After two years of absence due to the health crisis, the Burning Man festival made a grand return. For this 9-day edition in 2022, nearly 80,000 festival-goers trod the sands of the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. And it was truly a sight to behold! For the first time since its creation, a show featuring 250 drones criss-crossed the Nevada sky, delivering a full-scale space invader spectacle.

Although ephemeral, Burning Man is one of the most anticipated artistic events in the United States. After two years of interruption due to the Covid-19 crisis, the grand festival makes a return for a Burning Man 2022 edition that promises to be wild! In addition to the usual caravans, magical decorations, and provocative artistic sculptures, the Black Rock City pulled out all the stops: nearly 250 drones played space invaders in the sky above the sands of the Black Rock Desert.

But what is Burning Man? It’s the world’s largest temporary artistic ecosystem. For 9 days, community creators and organizers come together to celebrate art and local initiatives from around the world. These individuals, called “Burners,” gather in the Nevada desert to create Black Rock City, a temporary metropolis.

Characterized for its unconventional culture, Burning Man is dedicated to producing a positive spiritual change on a global scale. “Our intention is to generate a society that connects each individual to their creative powers, to community participation, to the wider domain of civic life, and to the even larger world of nature that exists beyond society,” is written on the event’s official website.

However, Burning Man does not want to be defined as a festival but rather as a gathering of a community, at the heart of a temporary city in the Nevada desert. This event is known for the festive cremation of a giant puppet, in reference to its name Burning Man, meaning “the burning man” in French.

Space invader drones

For this 2022 edition, more than 80,000 festival-goers, called “Burners,” gathered at Black Rock City. And as every year, the show was on point, but even more so this year! Each artistic creation is dedicated to art, self-expression, and autonomy for all.

To make a mark, the BRC 2022 wished to create a unique show in which over 250 drones played space invaders in the sky under the theme “Waking Dreams.” These were piloted by the festival-goers themselves. A regulation was carefully established to ensure compliance with the general flying conditions, in accordance with Black Rock City’s safety guidelines. These drones then delivered a spectacle at more than 400 feet, away from the crowds and emergency teams, and, of course, outside of the period of the Temple’s burning.

* * * * *

You want to get a good look at yourself. You stand before a mirror, you take off your jacket, unbutton your shirt, open your belt, unzip your fly. The outer clothing falls from you. You take off your shoes and socks, baring your feet. You remove your underwear. At a loss, you examine the mirror. There you are. You are not there. —Mark Strand

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork and Pamela Grapes (attending the Rockers On Broadway event in 2014). Photo courtesy of Broadway World.

“I think I’m probably past the point in my life where finding the one and falling in love and agreeing to try to create something together is possible. On the other hand, it would certainly — you know, I would certainly love to have a companion that I thought knew me and understood me and with whom I could partner.” - Peter Tork, WDBB, February 12, 2006

“From: Maggie M. Hi Peter do you believe in love at first sight?” “hey, maggie, yes, I most certainly do! that does not mean that that’s the only start to true love. in fact, it might not be the better way; it might deceive you into thinking that there is no more (or not much more) work to be done. I fell in love with one woman once the second I saw her. we had a lovely time together, but were obliged to part ways after some years. then I met a woman whom I gradually — as opposed to suddenly — came to appreciate and love, and with whom I do believe (and hope) that I’m in my last relationship now. xo, peter“ - Facebook, 2014

Q: “And what’s your touring schedule like? How many shows a year do you do these days?” Peter Tork: “Well, the first part of this year has been very slow – I think because of the sudden… because of The Monkees touring, people thought it was going to go on. But the weekend of the Sellersville show includes a solo show for a private event the night before Sellersville and a show the night after and a show in the same club the afternoon after that. So I have like four performances in a row at that point. And that’s going to be a bit of a grind – we’ll see how that works out. Other than that, there are some more dates down the road. In this case, what’s going to have to happen – I’m going to have to take a train down to D.C. to do the gig. I’m going to have to – I’m actually getting a lift to Sellersville, where the band will meet me, and then we will go together to Club 66 in Edgewood, Maryland. And then back home after that. And like that – usually just the four of us and maybe my partner, Pam, comes with us and helps with the driving and to goad us all, just to keep us on our toes. If she can – she’s got some obligations that come up on a regular basis that prohibit. But if she’s free, she comes. And we go down and set up and play and knock down and go to the hotel and go home. You know, [fellow Monkee] Micky [Dolenz] always says, ‘I perform for free. You pay me to commute.’” - LeHigh Valley Live, June 2012

In the Good Times! liner notes thank you’s section, one of Peter’s thank you’s is, “to Pam, my sine qua non.”

Q: “Is there a comedy that left an indelible impression on you as a youngster?” Peter Tork: “The Court Jester [1956], a musical comedy starring Danny Kaye, was one I loved as a kid. It certainly stands up today. It’s just one of the greatest film comedies. My wife Pam saw that and said, “Ah, I see where you get all your stuff” [laughs]. She thinks all my comedic, goofy characters are all contained in that movie.” - Medium, 2017

“He wasn't The Clown, but he loved to clown around. Loved, and I mean LOVED the blues. Great smile. Just real. […] Loved his woman and did not mind PDA. That dude showered Pam Grapes with so much affection. They could be like teenagers. It was sweet. Loved his kids. Treated his step children like his own. That of course spoke volumes to me, made him even more of a good man.” - John Billings, Facebook, 2019

[tejoxys]

oh man, in theory I am into hate-at-first-sight slowburn, but it would have to be a particular kind of hate, because I just flashed back to the first week of school in 2019, when we were broken into groups of 4 and given a list of disease states to choose from to each give a mini-lecture on to the rest of the class with help from the other 3, and this one dude in my group goes, "I chose this one because it's the only one on the list I already know about haha" [insert sunglasses emoji here] and I, who had specifically, deliberately chosen the only one that I had never seen before in my life, because this is COLLEGE and we are PAYING to EXPAND OUR KNOWLEDGE, internally went ">:( -15 social points. I hate you" and he went on to become the omnipresent class clown, beloved by everyone except me

so I'm thinking about, like. if it was two of me in that situation, TWO inflexible flash-judgmental autistic wrong-sides-of-a-magnet, and we immediately despised each other, how do we come back from that? I don't think we come back from that

[scotianostra]

Tragedy struck when the naval yacht Iolaire struck a reef on approaching Stornoway Harbour in the early hours of New Years Day 1919.

It has been described as the blackest day in the history of the Western Isles when more than 200 servicemen returning from the First World War died as their ship went down in sight of Stornoway harbour. Despite being Britain’s worst maritime disaster since the Titanic, the loss of the Iolaire remains little known beyond the isles.

The disaster occurred at 1.55am on 1st January 1919, when 205 Lewis and Harris men drowned as the HMY Iolaire sank in heavy seas. They had survived the war and were returning home for the New Year celebrations when the ship struck the rocks at Holm, 20 yards from the shore.

A report in the Stornoway Gazette recorded the impact of the tragedy:

No one now alive in Lewis can ever forget the 1st January 1919, and future generations will speak of it as the blackest day in the history of the island, for on it 200 of our bravest and best perished on the very threshold of their homes under the most tragic circumstances.  The terrible disaster at Holm on New Year’s morning has plunged every house and every heart in Lewis into grief unutterable.  Language cannot express the anguish, the desolation, the despair which this awful catastrophe has inflicted.  One thinks of the wide circle of blood relations affected by the loss of even one of the gallant lads, and imagination sees those circles multiplied by the number of the dead, overlapping and overlapping each other till the whole island – every hearth and home it is shrouded in deepest gloom.

Messages of sympathy were received from far and wide, including from the King and Queen and from Lord Leverhulme, who had purchased the island of Lewis the previous year. He also led calls for a disaster fund to be set up and fund raising events were initiated.   The Cinematograph Exhibitors’ Associations of Edinburgh and Glasgow arranged to take collections in all picture houses under their control for a week. A fundraising concert was arranged in the Usher Hall in Edinburgh on 14 February 1919, at which Scott Skinner, the acclaimed  fiddler and composer and many others performed.

A naval inquiry held at the time was not made public until 1970. It had concluded that no blame could be attributed to anybody as the ship’s log had been lost and all of the officers had perished.

The subject of my previous post, Iain Crichton Smith’s penned a poignant poem The Iolaire, about the tragedy, Peter May touched upon the tragedy in hius novel, The Chessmen, part of the Lewis Trilogy.

No other area of the country saw such a high percentage of its young, male, fight and die in the war.

Local man John Finlay Macleod’s actions were crucial in saving 40 lives. Macleod saw the crash from the shore, grabbed a rope, and jumped in the water to set up a rescue line. The other 39 survivors either swam to shore or were rescued from the wreck, meaning that the rescue line was responsible for more than half of the rescues that night.

The pics are of the memorials to this tragedy, the original obelisk dates to 1960 and is joined by a nearby cairn. For the centenary of the sinking, the Outer Hebridean arts institution An Lanntair commissioned a group of artists including Arthur Watson, Marian Levan, and Will Maclean to create an additional sculpture to be incorporated into the memorial. Recognizing John Finlay Macleod, the bronze showcases a coiled rope and was unveiled by Prince Charles in January 2019.

[usermaha]

THE MONTH OF TXT

There's lotttsss coming up from txt and im super excited but also. a tad bit worried.

SWEET- 5th July

When I heard this was gonna be a full album i was sooo hyped. Since we have JPN versions of all the Titles now, we could expect at least a handful of original tracks right? No we just got one :/ I have yet to listen to the whole album, and who knows, it might be an enjoyable listen front-to-back, but im still disappointed.

As for the song herself: I wanna talk about it in another post but Hydrangea Love is an easy classic txt homerun. Slower romantic track. Killer vocals. Huening Kai. What more do you need?

Im genuinely confused about how the album dropped. SRR JPN dropped in late June, then Hydrangea Love also dropped before the album was set to release? Why?

Do It Like This- 7th July

here the marketing is confusing me. They announced it as a "comeback", and are clearly treating it as such. Did Jun have to go caramel for a collab track? I dont remember making this much noise for Valley of Lies.

I suppose Jonas Brothers is a much bigger name, but they haven't done anything relevant since their comeback in 2019 either.

Idk the hype around this is very high and it can very easily fall through. It can very easily end up sounding like a pop song from 2015, no txt-ness in sight. Ryan Tedder is the producer i think which puts me even more at edge.

Another thing is the timing. Placing both the JPN album and this Collab so close to each other doesnt seem like a good idea to me. How do we get the time to properly promote both? I thought they were shooting for a proper comeback later in the year (it still might happen, which furthers my point.) The US leg just ended, there is Lolapalooza...

I just think there is too much going on surrounding txt. Its been one thing after another for years at this point. I would rather have them properly rest for a reasonable stretch of time, and have more complete projects, rather than rushing one-song-releases.

Our Lost Summer- 28th July

Again marketing i was like "what is this???🤔" in the comments till a kind moa explained its a tour documentary. From Disney Plus :/

But why Our Lost Summer as the title though? Doesnt that automatically make you think of 2020? We didnt lose that summer we made the best out of it. Shouldn't it have the sentiment of Our Glorious Summer?

To be fair i did want there to be a One Dream Season 2, a full-circle moment. bc One Dream was about their first time taking on the U.S as txt, and after three years its their first world tour. But without Mnet's involvement.

I hope this can be introspective and delve into the persepectives and experiences of each member and kind of like round up their career until now (i basically want a doc about txt as a whole not just that summer). Instead of just "here's some tour footage". Honestly id take that too bc ive been hungry for high-quality tour footage. The whole thing on streaming would be the ideal but. I'll take anything 🤲🤲

Man looking back at it all will be great that moment in time. felt so unreal. Best time of my life? Arguably.

[fearsmagazine]

DRACULA, A COMEDY OF TERRORS, performances begin Sept. 4th, on at the New World Stages in NYC.

Drew & Dane Productions presents Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors by Gordon Greenberg and Steve Rosen in a limited 18-week engagement, September 4 – January 7, at New World Stages (340 West 50th Street). Opening night is September 18. Directed by Gordon Greenberg (Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Geffen), Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors features a company of fearless actors including Jordan Boatman (Medea at BAM, The Niceties), Arnie Burton (The 39 Steps, Peter and The Starcatcher), James Daly (Shaw Festival, Stratford Festival, Hulu’s “Letterkenny”), Ellen Harvey (How To Succeed, Present Laughter) and Andrew Keenan-Bolger (Disney’s Newsies, Tuck Everlasting). Tickets are now on sale at Telecharge.com, (212) 239-6200.

(L-R) ARNIE BURTON, JORDAN BOATMAN,, ELLEN HARVEY, ANDREW KEENAN-BOLGER, JAMES DALY. Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors. photo by Maria Baranova

Bram Stoker’s horror classic gets a riotous makeover in this lightning-fast comedic reimagining that celebrates goth, camp, sexuality, and the magic of live theatre. This 90-minute, gender-bending, quick-change romp features a pansexual GenZ Count Dracula in the midst of an existential crisis. When he sets his sights on the brilliant young earth scientist Lucy Westfeldt, he meets his match for the first time – as well as a slew of other colorful characters including vampire hunter Jean Van Helsing, insect connoisseur Percy Renfield and behavioral psychiatrist Wallace Westfeldt, whose British country estate doubles as a free-range mental asylum. With a cast of brilliant quick take comedians, this Dracula will make you scream… with laughter.

(Back, L-R) KAITLYN BOYER, ARNIE BURTON, JAMES DALY, ANDREW KEENAN-BOLGER, SEAN-MICHAEL WILKINSON. (front, l-r) JORDAN BOATMAN, ELLEN HARVEY. Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors. photo by Maria Barano

“In re-reading Dracula, we were surprised and intrigued by the boldness with which Stoker, a closeted gay man in Victorian England, plays with sexuality and gender norms,” says director/co-writer Gordon Greenberg. Co-writer Steve Rosen adds “we wanted to celebrate him and, at the same time, send up his moody, broody melodrama in the spirit of some of our comedic heroes like Charles Ludlam, Monty Python and Mel Brooks.” In regards to the New World Stages production, Greenberg continues, “We are so fortunate to have assembled an extraordinary company of top-notch comedic actors whose fearlessness and hilarity make the whole experience feel like a party. We hope our Dracula gives audiences of all ages the chance to forget about their troubles and just laugh their heads off for a while.”

Playwrights STEVE ROSEN and GORDON GREENBERG. Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors. photo by Maria Baranova

Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors features scenic design by Tijana Bjelajac, costume design by Tristan Raines, lighting design by Rob Denton, original music and sound design by Victoria Deiorio, and wig and hair design by Ashley Rae Callahan. General Management is by Live Wire Theatrical. The company understudies are Kaitlyn Boyer and Sean-Michael Wilkinson. Production management is by Intuitive Production Management, and production stage management is by Morgan Holbrook. Casting is by JZ Casting. Dori Berinstein (The Prom) is Executive Producer.

JAMES DALY. Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors. photo by Maria Baranova

Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors was commissioned and originally produced by Maltz Jupiter Theatre (Andrew Kato, Producing Artistic Director/Chief Executive) in 2019. In 2020, it was adapted as a radio play for The Broadway Podcast Network with an all-star cast including Annaleigh Ashford, Laura Benanti, Alex Brightman, James Monroe Iglehart, Richard Kind, Rob McClure, Ashley Park, Christopher Sieber, and John Stamos. Productions followed at Capital Repertory Theatre in Albany and Segal Centre for Performing Arts in Montreal. A hit with critics and audiences alike, Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors has been praised by the Albany Times Union as “a raucous comedy, done with impeccable adroitness …stuffed with sight gags, wordplay and lightning-fast costume changes,” and described as “a delicious comedic romp” by Berkshire Edge. McGill Daily calls the play “a sexy retelling of the classic 1897 novel that leans into contemporary gender roles with an unprecedented comedic angle. … not to be missed.” BroadwayWorld calls it a “lightning-fast, laugh-out-loud comedy.”

Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors will play a 18-week limited engagement September 4 – January 7, at New World Stages, Stage 5 (340 West 50th Street.) Opening night is September 18. Performances are Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 7PM, Friday and Saturday at 8PM, with matinees Saturday and Sunday at 2PM. Tickets are $99 - $119. Premium seating is available. Tickets are now on sale at Telecharge.com, (212) 239-6200. For more information, visit www.DraculaComedy.com.

[lynne-monstr]

One line any fic! Rules: pick ten of your fics, scroll to somewhere midpoint, pick a line chunk and share it, and then tag ten people.

I was tagged a while back by @glorious-spoon. Thanks!! I feel like I’ve talked about my 2022 fic a lot so I’m going to make an effort to include some much older fic too!

1.  Solicited Noods (Leverage, 2017)

Beneath her, Quinn was opening the suitcase and showing its contents to the gang leader. Even from this high up Parker recognized the stack of papers as being identical to the labels on Peggy’s contraband jams. She was begrudgingly impressed. Drugs hidden in the adhesive. Easy to transport. Easy to hide in plain sight.

Peggy’s voice broke into her reverie. “I know, but at least yesterday I could pretend he wasn’t working with the people who tried to kill me. My cats and I are going to die single and alone,” she lamented.

2. your name whispered on the wind (The King’s Avatar, 2020)

Huang Shaotian gives up on the notebooks and stands. He’s paler than usual, a smudge of dark circles bruising the thin skin under his eyes. Or perhaps it’s just the overhead light, projecting Yu Wenzhou’s concerns onto the canvas of his face. Even his shirt is muted, a dark blue instead of his usual bright yellows and greens.

3. The Man in That One Suit (Person of Interest/What Not To Wear, 2013)

“Now he, on the other hand.” The co-host, Stacy, chimed in, walking over to Finch and appraising him from head to toe.

“A study in perfection,” Clinton agreed, a finger lightly tapping his lip in appreciation.

4. the shifting shapes of clouds (Shadowhunters, 2020)

Lorenzo’s gasp is poorly hidden and Magnus amuses himself in the growing silence by imagining the scandalized look that must be scrawled across Lorenzo’s face. He keeps his back turned and his magic ready. It’s both a test and a challenge.

Surprisingly enough, Lorenzo passes on both counts. “It’s probably for the best that I did not know that about you when I first came to New York.” Try as he might, Lorenzo can’t entirely hide the shake in his voice.

5. #work hard nap hard (The King’s Avatar, 2021)

Jokes aside, the napping pics have been heating up and we’re here to round up what’s fact and what’s fiction about Blue Rain’s afternoon delights.

Fact: The team really does keep a collection of “napping blankets” on hand. Their blanket cherry was popped by their very own Zheng Xuan. Bonus fact: Team Captain Yu Wenzhou is most frequently seen napping with the very same blue blanket that took his team’s innocence.

Yeah, we all wish we were that blanket

Fiction: Blue Rain team orgies. Sorry tanks, healers, and DPS dealers, but that rumor is Busted! Our correspondent onsite confirms only good wholesome fun is to be found with these boys.

6. strange partnership (Shadowhunters, 2019)

“I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to keep you here, but I can’t take you back either.” A sense of dread settles over Alec. If this man takes him captive, there’s not much he can do. Hodge had taken Alec’s cutlass and his pistol before pushing him overboard. He doesn’t even have the set of thin metal rods that have gotten him out locked rooms before.

He swallows around the tentacle in his mouth, his throat suddenly dry.

7. flicker (The King’s Avatar, 2022)

Yu Wenzhou tries not to think about how many versions of himself have fallen to this creature. “I can say no.” He’s figured this much out already. If he has to guess, he’d say it needs his permission to cross over into his stream. “You waited too long. You’ll die if I do.”

The lights flicker, faster this time. Yu Wenzhou doubles over, the taste of blood in his mouth.

‘I’ll take you with me.’ The voice sears into his head, splitting his brain apart.

8. Condiment War (Hetalia/Highlander, 2013)

Eyes narrowing in suspicion, Prussia cocked his head in thought. Back in the days when he led armies into battle, he would have traded entire divisions for a mind like Pierson's. "You're damn good at this, for a linguistics nerd."

Pierson gave an abashed smile. "A lot of the documents saved for posterity are old military correspondence. Guess I picked up a few additional talents in the translation process. Oh, also receipts. I can discuss archaic trading practices at length, if you'd prefer." His brow furrowed in mock contemplation. "There were a suspicious amount of goats changing hands."

9. Means of Transportation (The King’s Avatar, 2021-2022)

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be fine. It’s Wenzhou who has the problem, not me. Nothing bad happened to me, which you would have known if you came to our conference.” The phone suddenly feels red hot in his hand and he’s tempted to end the call.

“You’ve always been a shitty liar.”

“Your face is shitty.”

“You’ll be lucky to look this good when you’re my age.”

The laugh dies in Huang Shaotian’s throat, leaving behind a tight ache. “I miss him.” The words slip out in a whisper. What did he do wrong that all his captains keep leaving him?

10. This is not a ghost story (The King’s Avatar, 2022)

"Have you ever heard of a kid named Huang Shaotian?"

Wei Chen’s face, normally etched in a perpetual scowl, falls. He pivots in his chair to give Yu Wenzhou his full attention. "Where'd you hear that name?"

tagging: @faejilly, @shadaras, @forerussake, @saxifactumterritum, @prince-of-elsinore, @gingersnapwolves, @geniuskaktus, @humanformdragon, @carmenlire, @bytheangell

[phanfictioncatalogue]

AU - Canon Divergence Masterlist

A Rose of Winter (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: All Daniel wanted to do was escape the stifling life as a Stark of Winterfell and travel the world. Between the looming threat North of The Wall and the den of lions in the capital, he unexpectedly finds love in the midst of a war set to tear Westeros apart. Caught between loyalty to his family and duty, he is torn in a thousand directions that all point to one man: Philip Flowers.

A Toast to Now (ao3) - melapplesphan

Summary: It's Christmas Eve, 2016, and Phil Lester's plane home for the holidays has been delayed due to snow. In a fit of boredom, he finds himself taking an uncharacteristic leap and striking up a conversation with "DanielH."

Meanwhile, Dan Howell can't quite believe that AmazingPhil - the same guy who ignored his messages 7 years ago - just started chatting with him on Grindr.

After All These Years (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: They met her after tour. Martyn’s friend’s dog had puppies and Phil fell in love at first sight. Dan did too, but he’ll deny it if you ask.

Dan tries to keep his distance, because she’s Phil’s dog not his, but she isn’t having any of it.

All the sunlight of our past (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: YouTube is a mess.

Phil's been struggling with it for a while and has just taken a job as a video editor to make ends meet while he figures out whether he still loves it anymore.

Dan's channel has been dead ever since he started working at BBC Radio One and the two haven't seen each other in years.

During a chance meeting in 2019, Dan gets papped coming out of a gay club and his life is sent in to turmoil. He blames Phil, because it had been his idea to go there in the first place, so they're straight back to not talking.

The only recourse Dan has to salvage his career is to return to his YouTube channel after all these years and make a coming out video on his own terms. What he doesn't know is that Phil is the editor he just hired to help him with it.

and my fate has begun to change (ao3) - ovely

Summary: Dan has an inspiring piano teacher as a teenager and decides to dedicate his life to music. After he starts uploading piano videos to YouTube, he finds himself unintentionally becoming a popular YouTuber. Then he meets Phil, and slowly finds a life more like that of the Dan we know.

cause i remember the rush (when forever was us) (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: If he were to go live on radio and have a chat about his life it would bring up a lot of old skeletons in the closet that he tried so hard to keep in there. He knew eventually that he’d have to clean it out to move on. or it's been six years since Dan has last seen Phil.

Christmas Coming Out (ao3) - FandomFeels17

Summary: He didn't intend to come out to his mum in his future mother in law's kitchen at Christmas... But here he was, doing exactly that.

Da (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: One day can change your life forever. For Phil, his daughter Mel, and Dan, who'd have guessed that day would be one when they're out doing ordinary shopping together.

-

in a universe where the only difference is they never got together in 09, yet still harbor those feelings

Dan and Phil versus the World (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: In an alternate universe (where Poe the cactus survived), Dan and Phil revisited Japan after TATINOF. Now they’re back in London, but something's changed, leaving Dan tense and restless. Maybe they’ve been so busy selling Dan and Phil™ all these years that they’ve forgotten how to be themselves. Storytelling has a way of seeping into real life, but it only confounds things when you start to believe it.

Diary - i-love-phan-and-butts

Summary: Dan and Phil are playing his and seek when Phil hides in Dan’s closet and finds a load of sex toys and possibly a sex diary of dreams he’s had about Phil and Phil confronts Dan about it.

Disney World Misadventures (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrosepetals)

Summary: Dan, a law student with parents so strict they make him come home every weekend, gets ditched by his friends at Disney World in Florida during his short summer holiday. Alone, he runs into an incredibly attractive YouTuber who nerds out about anime with him, and even buys him a tiny Ciel figurine. Dan, meanwhile, quickly finds himself falling in love, especially after they get it on in a Disney World bathroom.

Dropping Anchor in a Storm (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Phil wakes in the early hours to a thin beam of sunlight breaking through his curtains, and the soft sound of Dan breathing by his side.

He should be able to bask in the peace and stillness of the room, but his brain won't let him do that today.

for you are not beside but within me (ao3) - obsessivelymoody

Summary: Dan and Phil spend a day off in Vancouver

game plan (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: In another universe, Dan posted "the June video" in 2018 as originally planned, right in the middle of the Interactive Introverts tour. But how would he and Phil have handled the gaming channel?

In the shadow of your heart (ao3) - croissantbleu

Summary: Dan and Phil fell apart a few years ago, and if Phil seemed to have no problem getting used to his new life back in Manchester with his husband Noah, Dan has a few more difficulties moving on. But when Phil comes down to London to attend Louise’s party and ends up having to stay with Dan for a few days, who can tell what will happen

Magic Tricks (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: Every magician knows there is no such thing as magic. They are masters of making things possible out of a situation that seems impossible. The key to getting what you want in life is to know that the only reason why something is, is because it was made possible. It can only be if it is possible for it to be. Make it possible and let it be.

-

A relationship in reverse.

Our Flaws Are Aligned (ao3) - phantasizeit

Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers, but they hate each other. Phil is reminded of this when he’s forced to interact with him at the Spain Creator’s Summit. Their situation isn’t helped by their complicated past when their firecracker relationship crashed and burned. When Stop, Speak, Support contacts Phil to be a headlining speaker in their tour across schools in the UK, he is more than excited, until he finds out he’ll working next to his YouTube enemy. Phil doesn’t expect their time planning the tour together to rekindle old feelings he thought he’d long since buried.

Retrace, Retry (ao3) - catboydan

Summary: In 2012, Dan left Manchester and Phil didn’t follow. Dan didn’t let him.

Now, it’s 2016 and Dan returns to retrace his steps and maybe, possibly, have a chance at a second try.

share you like an island (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: When Phil gets picked up by a beautiful boy at a uni party, he's expecting a one night stand.

What he doesn't expect is to keep falling into bed with the boy with a reputation. Who turns out to also be a youtuber. Who somehow becomes his best friend. It's not complicated.

Until it kinda is.

Ships that pass in the night (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan and Phil are YouTubers. The catch? They’ve never met, and Phil doesn’t want them to.

so tell me darling do you wish we'd fall in love? (ao3) - furryphil

Summary: after being dragged to playlist live, dan expects a weekend of waiting in lines for a ridiculous amount of time and dealing with screaming fangirls. what he didn’t expect was to meet his teenage idol, AmazingPhil. he didn’t expect for said teenage idol to ask for his number and actually take interest in him.

Super Amazing Project: Unsolved (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: They find a hallway once they’re inside with a big, wide, broken window. It lets in more than enough light to film and the shot of the graffitied wall behind them is interesting. Phil sets up the tripod. They stand in frame, a safe foot of space between them. They both clear their throats. “Hey guys, and welcome to another episode of The Super Amazing Project!”

A fic about canon divergence and hauntings.

VETSCO à gogo (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: The guy is just really hot, and maybe Dan’s also a bit concerned he’s going to fall with all the times he’s watched him wiggle and wobble on seemingly unsteady limbs. He never does, or at least he hasn’t yet, but Dan would like to think he’s got his back if he ever does.

or

the twitch streamer who just can't seem to get his roller skating neighbor out of his mind

[adamwatchesmovies]

Pixels (2015)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Based on the 2010 short of the same name by Patrick Jean, Pixels has some neat visuals… and nothing else to offer. Even video game and arcade enthusiasts won't like it, as the film is more concerned with giving Adam Sandler’s posse pay checks and indulging in nostalgia than utilizing the tools at its disposal to full effect.

As a child, Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler) became a champion of arcade games until he was defeated by his rival Eddie Plant (Peter Dinklage) in the world championship’s final round. Years later, Sam has a chance to make a name for himself when aliens misinterpret old video game footage as a declaration of war and attack our planet with arcade-inspired creations.

Kevin James as the President of the United States. Pixels is a sci-fi comedy but even so, our suspension of disbelief only goes so far! The man just doesn’t fit the role. For the most part, however, everyone else who appears in the film - Adam Sandler as himself, Josh Gad as the conspiracy-theory obsessed nerd who lives in his basement, Michelle Monaghan as a weapons developer who will inevitably fall for Sandler’s character even though they hate each other upon first sight - do fine with their parts. It’s the material they’ve been handed that spells "game over".

There are many unkind words we could use to describe Pixels. “Self-indulgent”, “unfunny”… but I’m going to choose is “lazy”. It’s a movie about arcade games which gets basic things about the games it’s showcasing wrong. Cheat codes for arcade games? Why would those exist when the machines were designed to eat quarters? A Smurfs arcade game? I couldn’t find evidence that one ever existed. Apparently the barrels and fireballs in Donkey Kong move without pattern… even though they do in real life. And that’s just scratching the surface. This film operates without any semblance of logic. In one battle between mankind and the aliens, the players must operate under rules which emulate the game - Pac Man being a good example. In other scenes, like when the heroes play a jumbo-sized version of Centipede, our “team” is allowed hundreds of players. When we get to the final challenge (Donkey Kong), anyone can do whatever they want regardless of whether it’s possible in the game they’re supposedly playing.

This is a significant disappointment from director Chris Columbus, whose career has had its ups and downs but doesn’t typically churn out this type of Happy Maddison slop. Every fifteen minutes, the film seems to be think that someone screaming is the pinnacle of hilarity. Over and over, a lame sex joke gets snuck in there and we get a speech from someone about how the good old days were awesome and how today, well things just aren’t the same. Many aspects of Pixels feel like they’ve been pulled from a time long gone that we'd rather forget. Most notably, the romantic sub plots, who are so awful you’re tempted to give the actresses standing ovations for playing their parts without cringing.

If you’ve seen the 2010 Pixels short, there’s no reason to see this full-length film. Adam Sandler’s usual comedic antics add nothing to the cool voxel look and the visual gags in its 2-minute running time isn't improved by cameos by Serena Williams or Nick Swardson. I suppose Happy Madison fans may find some of it enjoyable but that's just a theory. (May 10, 2019)