#Or...why I attract emotional leeches.

[saturnsbabyboii]

🫧My experience being friends with the Moon signs 🫧

-Please remember that this is not a reflection of everyone with said placement. The behaviors of a single asshole aren't that of the many (sometimes). Also, I don't/didn't have friends with all Moons. Some would have one person or no specific person, and rather so, I'll be giving general observations.

🫧Taurus Moon🫧

Friend #1: Kind, loving, generous, thoughtful, quiet, slow, and internalizes everything. She is one of my closest friends ever. She is practically the father figure of the group, helping everyone out, protecting them, advocating, giving advice, and making sure that they're set and good. Picky with her friends, many of them are people she has known since childhood, and most are her cousins with very few that aren't related to her. Tech and cyber expert. A big animal and nature lover. She loves her space and peace, she is slow to return texts, hates calls, and has the social battery of a sloth. Good singing voice. Loves video games, and is OBSESSED with whatever she has an interest in. Overall, her emotions are well-regulated, however, as an Earth Moon she rationalizes herself and stays pretty chill, even when she needs to pipe up.

Friend #2: Obsessive, jealous, sensual, persistent, indulgent yet very frugal, and stubborn af. A big-time foodie, he does have quite the appetite. Good singing voice too. Always at the clearance section of 'Bath and Body Works'. Thrifty. Got to have three of the same body spray. Candle queen. Trust issues with a very paranoid outlook on things. A bit greedy. Always asking people to buy them things. Very sexual. Cares for his younger sisters and loves his family and friends.

Friend #3: Big-time nerd. Memes are his only talking reference. Great singing voice and can imitate voices very well. Shy extrovert. Loves animations and even studied to be an animator and designer. Hugger. Big animal lover (he legit has what seems like a zoo of pets at home).

Friend #4: Obsessed with history (especially medieval history). All about death and our relationship with mortality. A literal cat. Isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Goes all in on a subject of interest. Has the same appearance and sense of style as always.

I find Taurus Moons to be very comforting and a joy to be around. They defiantly bring a sense of stability to the relationship, mainly because they're predictable. Not in the "boring" sense but rather that they're people of clear and simple emotions no matter how grand they're in expression, it's pretty clear what they feel, how they feel, and why; Basically, there's no catch or an underbelly to their emotions. Other qualities I have found was that they're pretty aloof, they hate to be intimate with people they barely know, and they actually like fast-paced relationships (only if they really like you), they love to dress simply but chic, and they do have a well known "thing". They always got that "thing" you associate with them and they have it for comfort, like a kid with a blanket or a toy. They also love animals, pastels, the color brown, and karaoke. Hates confrontation and always second guesses their gut feeling. They're also very stubborn and in general, find it much harder to break out of habitual cycles of disconnecting and detachment when shit gets real.

🫧Gemini Moon🫧

Friend #1: Very smart. Great writer and lyricist. Talented musician and singer. Loves people. A bit timid about being in the spotlight. Loves to connect with others over interests, especially art and social issues. Great dresser. Romantic. Bends too fast. Dislikes confrontation but would stand up for a loved one. Bad judge of character (always attracts cheaters and assholes).

Friend #2: Certified L.A.B (lying ass bitch). Says shit for the sake of saying shit. Fake trauma bonding. Leeches off of people. Toxic. Abusive. Always with abusers. Manipulative and hateful. Been around the block. Would do anything for validation. Makes up stories about others to play the role of the victim. (Very likely she has a cluster B personality disorder and no Gemini Moon would claim her.)

I think I have experienced two extremes of this moon, with one being highly and continuously evolving and the other being consistently trash. I am fond of the energy that Gemini has on the moon. There's this innocence that they possess at the core, and it could be the purest and most genuine thing or the biggest fabrication in history. Nonetheless, I do love to be around them and the energy they bring to a relationship. It is always lively, fresh, and new, they'll always come up with something to do with you, and always find a way to spend time and be close to you. They definitely give mixed signals since they tend to be a bit playful, especially in their platonic relationships, and they are very touchy. They're bold and outspoken generally about how they feel. They're less guarded and more likely to share and talk about their problems and their opinions. In contrast, they would rather die than open up about their deep true emotions.

🫧Cancer Moon🫧

Talking about their ex was their favorite pastime. Never misses an important function. Celebrations and social events were considered important. The person that would want to go somewhere but then gets upset because things did not go how they imagined they would. Ruminates on past events and feelings. Vents a lot but also gives you the space to do so. Strong stan on temporary emotions and circumstances. Feels how she feels and doesn't care how others perceive her for it, or what they think about it. Low key ferocious (I live for it though). The only person I know that isn't afraid to publicly voice their boundaries when crossed.

I don't think I met another Cancer Moon besides this person, and we became friends only because we were together in similar classes at uni. Overall, I would say from what I have observed, her relationships with her friends were always great and seemed pretty solid. Romantically though, sis was very challenged, and I don't think it was totally her date's fault. She is an acquired taste and she knows what she wants. Seems very hung up on the idea of meeting expectations and fighting an imaginary clock to get THE perfect life. Good luck with that.

🫧Leo Moon🫧

Creative. Self-motivated. A visionary. The definition of an untamable person. Careful of who they keep company. Lives for an adventure. All about self-expressing, being authentic, and breaking the system. Great philosophical talker. Has true parental instincts. Very comfortable with themselves. Sexual. Great body-mind attunement. Good at mirroring others.

I have heard/read a lot of shit spewing about this placement, but I have to say that I do love to meet them. They're a breath of fresh air. Although I get how they can give an impression of a know it all "I am better than you" life dula, I never detect malice in their approach and usually they're more than respectful if you talk to them about it. They carry the weight of life with such ease, and I envy their perseverance. They definitely love to live life to the fullest. They have their select few friends that they have for a lifetime and like to keep it that way.

🫧Virgo Moon🫧

Never been friends with a Virgo Moon, although not for lack of trying but they themselves are quite apprehensive of bonds with people. They're close to their family and the friends they have they got to know them through school, work, or because they had no other option than to be around you. A molded chaos, and an organized mess. Life runs much faster for them and there's never enough time to finish anything. Despite their tendency to give everything a sense of debilitating urgency, they aren't hypochondriacs. Being strong and well functioning is important to them, as such they take good care of their bodies and surroundings. Oddly spiritual with a devolution to routine rituals. Their emotions are well hidden, they have the hardest exterior to crack. However, they're avid about mental health and wellness. I have also noticed that they tend to lash out, uncharacteristic of them, when they're overwhelmed or feel cornered.

🫧Libra Moon🫧

Friend #1: Very sweet. Bad Bitch™. Always looks good. Best dancer I know. Craves love and relationships. Attracts drama. They are very close to their family. Heavily underestimated. "Legally Blond" but Elle is a Latina that studies medicine. Loves astrology. Takes care of their friendships. Always on the go. Meeting new people all the time.

Friend #2: Pushover. Non-confrontational yet very aggressive. Easily frustrated. Closed minded to different interests. A bit extreme and abrasive. HATES astrology. LOVES the show 'Friends'. Self-critical. Insecure.

A placement that perfectly embodies Libra. Heavenly body and presence. Indecisive as hell. Always stuck in bad relationships. Head is always in the clouds. Romanticizing everything. Walking like they're being filmed. I would say there is an emphasis on companionship and finding "the one" throughout their lives, plus drama is second nature. They might be used to drama so much so that they lose sense of their boundaries and self, in turn making them vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. Their "all about me" era is like no other and is a true turning point in their lives. They seem to thrive when are surrounded by masculinity and masculine people, or overall very competitive and cut-throat environment. They use being underestimated to their advantage.

🫧Scorpio Moon🫧

"Me, myself and I". Paranoid as hell. Big spender. Artistic. Good at portrait sketching. Dresses well. Loves drama. Is the drama. Tone deaf. Low-key ungrateful. An immense sense of self-importance. Passive aggressive. PETTY. Mature exterior with very childish interests. Hypercritical of everything, including themselves.

"Jesus take the wheel" was made as a phrase for dealing with a Scorpio Moon. I get the fragility and being highly emotional and sensitive, that I read about. However, I mostly find them to be disagreeable and pensive. You never know what is the truth, so I assume everything is a lie, and if it's the truth then there must be a catch. They would wake up and the day already sucks. They love to surround themselves with expensive things. It's uncomfortable to be around a placement that seems to believe their own projections and preconceived notions of others rather than getting to know people, or maybe just mind their own business. I would say though that having a Scorpio Moon is probably unpleasant, but I have seen worse happen to other placements with "favorable" moons. And of course, I am talking about the ones that I have met and not every single Scorpio Moon out there.

🫧Sagittarius Moon🫧

Friend #1: Life of the party (actually the life of life). Loves to laugh. Comfortable with everyone. Always hype. Smokes like a chimney. Either brave or stupid. Hype. Frequent dealings with older guys. No chills. Loves to play with friends. Car hangouts over going into places. Funny on the outside, sad on the inside.

Friend #2: Very smart. Tarot mogul. Always a good time. Great convorsaitonlist. A softie. Very sensitive. Expressive.

Friend #3: Would cut a bitch. A true ride or die. A person you want to be on her good side. An unofficial dominatrix. Sweet but feisty. Loves her cat. Always lit. Would do anything for her friends. A good bullshit detector.

A favorite of mine, it is very hard not to like a Sag moon. They're so caring of others and are always making sure that you're good and having a good time. They're the type of person to trust if you're in a bar or a club. I would say that there is a very sad side to them under all that happiness. They're always anxious, which is probably why they don't sleep or eat very well. They also get a lot of migraines. If they open up then they really really really trust you (which is important to them since they can vibe and hang out with anyone but barely trust). They usually have a much calmer Earth sun best friend. I would say that they act much older than their when young but then seem to stay stuck on childish cycles of defensiveness and escapism as they get older.

🫧Capricorn Moon🫧

Friend #1: Artistic and crafty. Resilient. Capable of being very sweet and stern. Good with money, planning, and organizing. Maticolus. Conscious and realistic about their growth and development. Loves animals. Loves to be active in nature. A strong believer in karma.

Friend #2: A true powerhouse. Wonderwoman. My mentor and only real-life role model. An established businesswoman. Rags to riches. Despite having a physical disability she can drive, open pickle jars, do lifts and push up, plus she is a fashion designer that can sew. All of that with one arm. A fighter through and through.

Never had the privilege of being friends with many Capricorn Moons but I have known quite a few and some are very close friends of my family. A rough start in life. They really do take time to peak, however, the glow-up is real. Least spiritual Moon sign. Not egotistical or cold as I read so often. Quite warm and welcoming actually. They might be borderline Darwinists when it comes to the importance of human life and mortality. Believers of hard work and initiative. Lovers and fighters. Silent passion. When young, their relationship with their mother can be described as codependent, and their relationship with their father is strained with a sense of animosity. However, with time the roles seem to slowly reverse. Regardless, their family defenatliy takes precedence throughout their lives. They value respect more than anything else.

🫧Aquarius Moon🫧

Friend #1: Devoted to volunteer work and other people. The "fixer" type. Wants to be needed. Self-help books are all they read. Their interests and style are influenced by the people they're hanging out with. Accidentally (or maybe not) trauma bond with others. Desires to be a leader. Emotions focused. Worries about their reputation a lot. No luck with love. And also in friendship. Many friends, very few that are close, and only one has been consistent so far. Loves to have hangouts with large groups.

Friend #2: Music is their soul. Hippie. Loves acting. "center of attention". Dress based on aesthetics. TikTok addict. Interested in astrology and spirituality. Cold. Performative.

Friend #3: Know-it-all. Bad at expressing themself. No filter. Self-centered. Radical thinking. "Everyone is stupid". Loves to stand out. Learned how to finish a Rubix cube just to show it off. Having low grades is a "red flag" to him. Has a strong desire to be loved, yet none to give it back.

Friend #4: All about the drama and lights. Emotionally explosive at times. Hiding behind a facade. Loves to meet different people. Business savvy. Guarded but would give you their heart once they let it down. Displays emotions as anger when in reality they're scared. Superficial connections to others are more prevalent.

Generally, these people are dynamic and quite sociable. They're people focused in the best and worst ways possible. There is a constant desire to change surroundings (and at times help others change and grow) but they themselves tend to be relatively rigid at the core. Impressionistic (even though they would probably deny it). Self-image is usually not the reality (this could manifest in being overconfident or self-critical). They love to work with their hands a lot and do much better when working with others in comparison to working alone. They are altruistic but aren't attentive to others' desires; as a result, they believe they know better about everything and "what is best" depending on the situation. Imitates emotions rather than naturally expressing them.

🫧Pisces Moon🫧

Another very close friend of mine. Hard to read. Intelligent. People smart. Their friends are family. Uncomfortable with expressing their emotions, yet a good listener. Extroverted introvert. Loves to go out and meet people. Likes to club, going to parties, playing video games, and trying out new things. Loyal. Tough shell, soft heart. Doesn't give a flying fuck about what strangers think of them. Trophy hunter. A very realistic and pragmatic view of the world. Melancholic. They are perceived as troubled when they're just quiet. Low-key altruistic.

This Moon sign is not as bubbly as I have heard about it. They're hard to pinpoint as they usually come off as either Aquarius or Scorpio Moons. They tend to go through much more emotional turmoil, especially as children. They have a floaty feel to them. They feel a lot but nothing at once. They are usually witnesses to harm done to others and suffer losses related to other people rather be it themselves directly, which contributes to a sense of isolation from their peers. They do definitely grow into brave people that face life despite all the baggage they seem to drag around. By far the moon sign that takes the longest to open up honestly and completely, although they do experience spats of anxiety from time to time. Also FOOOOODDDD. They love food and everything that brings them comfort. Vices.

🫧Aries Moon🫧

Very emotional yet not expressive. Dedicated and strong-willed (she is a pediatrician). Hung up on "the one that got away". A true badass. So pretty yet so sad. Her dogs are her babies. Always choosing violence. Femme fatal that drives a Jeep Wrangler.

Emotions that cut deeper than a sword. They seem to compensate for emotional and inner needs with material things and career achievements. Very intimidating when you meet them at first, as they appear put together and quite the expert in their field. They spiral downwards if life doesn't go their way. Personally, I think this moon sign is the most emotionally rigid. Not for their lack of desire to change but rather that they get stuck on what their heart desire and can't seem to see or want anything other than that thing or person that they can't get. They also seem hellbent on trying to control what we can't control, such as the past, other people, and unforeseen misfortune. Highly upkeep on their exterior. Needs some form of vice to process emotions, usually it's smoking and drinking. They tend to be their parents favorite.

[beneaththehalo]

nfwmb [rafayel x fem! reader]

an exploration of your married dynamic with rafayel based on the song. there are references to sex and murder, but nothing explicit. the song lyrics are indented, small text, and bolded. 1.3k words. link to ao3!

When i first saw you / the end was soon / to Bethlehem, it slouched /And then it must’ve caught a good look at you / Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you / the best of you / honey, belongs to me

another charity gala as rafayel’s wife. parasitic leeches of linkon hoping to boost their image through large donations that barely make a dent in their generational wealth. a drink at the bar, a waltz with a man fifteen years your elder, and the flick of your hair to drain their wallets. it would all be worth it once you could present the large donation check to your favorite ocean conservation charities — saving the sea turtles, clean the beach, etc. in fact, your knack for playing the game is what attracted rafayel to you in the first place. a measly event reporter drowning your sorrows in seconds at the buffet table, ranting to the poor photographer. in a crowd of fairweathers, you were the first real person rafayel had seen. it intrigued him.

you could say the rest was history, but you certainly didn’t make it easy for him as you were wary to trust another snooty, rich man. artist types tended to be uppity, over pretentious, and full of themselves, but their big pockets made them an easy target for charity. you changed your mind on him when you heard him talk about his paintings for the first time, no longer filtered through the PR-lens of Thomas, you saw the true tortures, loves, and muses of a real artist. of course, you were both a bit inebriated at the time which helped forego the filters as you both ranted over the pompous event. when you found out who he was, you thought you’d lose your job and never speak again. you will forever be thankful that the opposite happened.

ain’t it a gentle sound, the rollin’ in the graves? / ain’t it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes? / ain’t it exciting you, the rumble where you lay? / ain’t you my baby? ain’t you my baby?

it wasn’t always easy. the attention that came with being rafayel’s significant other was something you weren’t used too. microphones shoved in your face, constantly ending up on worst-dressed lists, and never knowing who you could trust out of your business contacts. it was fatiguing — this image of mr. rafayel’s perfect wife. she never said anything controversial, so she didn’t have morals or values. she never demanded attention away from her husband. she hardly ate in public or sipped more than one cocktail. yet, she women still seethed with jealousy and found any excuse to tear her down. they told her she would never meet his needs. she wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough to understand his art or tall enough or whatever bullshit excuse the media sold. rafayel’s ability to be a sex symbol as well as an artist was important, you were a threat to the brand.

you can imagine all that external pressure caused an implosion. insecurity breakdowns at home, intimacy interrupted tears, anger, and frustration. rafayel was ever-understanding, his patience with your struggles admirable. and on one such night, he said, “fuck my brand. i fell in love with you because of your capacity to care, tenacity, and raw emotion when you discuss your passions. i could lose my whole career, but i can’t lose you. not to people who don’t know you,” he says, planting a firm kiss upon your forehead. from then on, the dynamic shifted.

nothing fucks with my baby / nothing can get a look in on my baby / nothing fucks with my baby / nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

you were married within a year or so, quick for some, but why wait for something you know will never change? the wedding naturally received a lot of attention despite it being a private elopement. tabloids clamored for the exclusive interview about the marriage of the famed rafayel and if he had any regrets about marrying at his younger age. would this effect his career? was he considering children? intrusive vultures thinking they were owed answers just because of rafayel’s fame. they never received any.

for rafayel was too busy burning every detail of your body into his mind each night. memorizing his favorite canvas and painting purple hues upon the skin of your neck. he touched you as if to prove that you were the only one who could ever draw his attention. all of your insecurities reduced to ash with his steady rhythm and guidance. he was everything you would ever need, and no one could satiate you more. it was heaven on earth, the connection you both shared. you’d both rather be damned than give that up.

if i was born as a blackthorn tree / i’d wanna be felled by you / held by you / fuel the pyre of your enemies

and here you are, back at the scene of the crime, aka this month’s charity gala to benefit coral reef restoration and preservation. you’re a few cocktails deep, the liquor always making things much easier to bear when conversing with the wealthy elite. men who hated their wives, women who loathed their husbands, and children far too privileged to be well-adjusted. people always found you easy to talk to, a little too easy to talk to, which normally you didn’t mind, it caused them to open their wallets all the same. however, tonight was not your night.

one of the men was blathering on and on about his petulant divorce. nothing you had not heard before. he was bolder than the others though, his words slurring a bit as he drapes himself over you. most people knew not to mess with you. for one, you could handle your own. for two, rafayel was rather possessive. so when this man thought he was clever, groping you inappropriately and making inane comments at your behest, something had to be done. so in your best, pseudo-sympathetic voice, you coax him into a private hall. rafayel isn’t far behind.

ain’t it warming you, the world gone up in flames? / ain’t it the life you, you’re lighting of the blaze? / ain’t it a waste they’d watch the throwing of the shade? / ain’t you my baby? ain’t you my babe?

the smoldering, remnant ashes of the man are promptly flushed down the toilet. rafayel cleans his hands at the sink, the small cut across his face already healing. you fix your hair, and blot at any of the smearing of your makeup. “better off anyways,” rafayel mutters, giving you a once over. he gingerly takes your face in his hands, resting his forehead against yours, “Ça va mon amour? [are you alright my love?]” he whispers. you nod, nuzzling your nose against his.

he peppers delicate kisses across your face. then drapes a few more down your exposed neck and collar. all your worries assuaged for the time being as you float in his attention, the memories of the disgusting socialite washed away as he fans the flames of your nerves. “rafayel,” you sigh, leaning into his touch, “you keep at it and the coral reef will never receive their generous check.” he whines in protest, but ultimately agrees and accompanies you back out to the party.

nobody mentions the missing man, and rafayel was such a smooth talker that any questions were easily forgotten. in the end, you had raised over $1.2 million for coral reef restoration, which was a feat in itself. when the party finally concludes and you tiredly shed your personas at the door of your shared home, you couldn’t be more grateful rafayel was who you had chose to spend your life with. and now that you were finally alone again, he would take that chance to remind you.

nothing fucks with my baby / nothing can get a look in on my baby / nothing fucks with my baby / nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

beneaththehalo || est 2024

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if in New moon Bella had a one night stand with Jacob? (She losses her virginity to Jacob) Does she feels more insecure of her relationship with Edward in Eclipse? Does she still hangs out with Jacob? Do Edward and Bella even marry or have sex in Breaking dawn?

Oh, anon, you know not what you do.

The Thing About Bella and Sex

Remember, Bella only looks as horny as she does because she's a) a romantic b) Edward's over there not wanting sex at all. She had no boyfriends before Edward and sex was all about "sex with Edward" specifically to cement their relationship and having this validating, romantic, human experience before she went out/potentially lost all ability to want Edward in a sexual manner because of vampirism and blooooooooooood.

What I'm getting at is that sex is not a casual thing to Bella.

She wanted it without marriage because Bella has very mixed feelings about marriage and never wanted to get married at all/saw it as the death knell of her relationship with Edward and what she wanted with him.

If Bella wants to have sex with Jacob it will be because she at least believes, if not is, in love with him and wants to take their relationship to the level she was at with Edward/past where she got with Edward.

Specifically, giving her virginity to Jacob, Bella would see explicitly as choosing him over Edward, giving up on Edward, and giving away something she can never give a second time to Jacob over Edward.

This is not a casual thing and if it is a one night stand it's a very romantic "and then I sneak out the window romantically and we never speak to one another again but hold this moment in our hearts forever".

(As a reminder, Bella in New Moon wasn't ready to even think about dating Jacob until after the cliff jump/just when she spotted Carlisle's car at which point she still ran out like he was yesterday's news. We're talking holding hands level, after months of seeing him as her only friend and emotional support through this time, she's nowhere close to casual sex.)

But, There Is a Way

Oh, Hallucination Edward, my favorite character.

"Bella, don't have sex with Jacob".

Jacob doesn't realize it, but he gets to have sex with severely depressed Bella who keeps staring over his shoulder instead of at him because she's watching Edward watch her have sex with Jacob, not because she enjoys his pain (and Hallucination Edward is Hallucination Crying), but because the longer she does this, the longer Edward sticks around watching her do it.

It's almost like having sex with Edward.

The thing is...

This ain't a one night stand.

This is the most successful Bella has been with Hallucination Edward throughout New Moon. He stayed for--however long it took Jacob to get to completion.

"Jacob, we should do that again" Bella says on realizing Hallucination Edward has vanished in the aftermath.

Jacob, deep down, knows something is wrong about this but he can't pinpoint what exactly that is and having Bella as his girlfriend/having sex with her can't be a bad thing, right? This means she loves him? Right?

"I think you should also whip and or suffocate me" Bella says, because Hallucination Edward is attracted most to danger.

:/ Says Jacob who... didn't have that in mind.

Bella Still Jumps off a Cliff

New Moon remains the same, except there's a BDSM subplot in which Bella asks Jacob to make their sex life spicier and spicier while also riding motorcycles/everything else she's doing. Jacob's starting to feel used and uncomfortable in a weird way, but he still can't pinpoint what, exactly, is wrong and thinks that Bella's just... a little messed up from Edward and kind of wild.

He assumes Edward, the leech, and evil incarnate, beat her in the bedroom and that Jacob is now in the plot of Blue Velvet. This explains why Bella can't talk to him and is also doing... this stuff...

But she still jumps off a cliff and oh there's Alice. Bella doesn't confess about her wild sex life with Jacob Black as Alice is already judging her/she doesn't want to admit she rebounded on Jacob within only a few months of Edward leaving and oh my god she rebounded on Jacob and she never realized that because she was just summoning Hallucination Edward through BDSM.

She's even feeling increasingly awkward that Jacob was around where Alice could see him and... trying to tell Alice that he and Bella are together and "no, don't tell her that, Jacob I... don't want the leeches to know. Wink."

Alice is actually fooled by this as she hasn't seen Bella with Jacob/doesn't see them because Jacob is a shapeshifter. She just thinks Bella is being weird because Edward left her (and she told Edward this would happen).

Fast forward, Bella has to save Edward's life, Jacob is even more appalled as Bella's leaving him to save Edward then we get back and oooooh Edward did want to get back together. Bella hadn't realized that.

Now, in her bedroom, Bella is having a crisis. She's accepted that maybe she's rebounded on Jacob but the thing is that Edward's the love of her life but she was untrue to him. In a panic, I imagine Bella latches on to Edward and still holds the vote. She has to get turned into a vampire so Edward's stuck with her for good er before it's too late.

Afterwards, Bella realizes she has a problem, she has to break up with Jacob.

Bella Doesn't Want to Break Up with Jacob

The thing is, as in canon, Bella values Jacob's friendship and doesn't want to give it up even for Edward. She tries to back peddle with Jacob and go back to just being friends without the, you know, BDSM stuff.

Jacob can't even even more than he did in canon.

Which means he blurts it to Edward at the first opportunity. He blurts that a) he knows Edward's a sick perverted fuck in the bedroom who makes Bella do things like whip herself b) he's been sleeping with Bella while Edward's away.

Edward loses his goddamn mind.

Bad enough that Mike Newton was a hypothetical human who could hold Bella's hand while she's getting stitches. Bad enough that Jacob has appeared out of nowhere in Bella's life and Edward can't get rid of him. Now Jacob is Bella's lover, who truly cares for him, and Bella thinks Edward's a pervert weirdo?!?!?!

Edward can't get over this. He confronts Bella who tries to set the story straight but makes it worse. See, Edward, she liked adrenaline things when he was away and discovered um her sexuality and BDSM. Jacob just thinks it was because of Edward for some reason and that reason is totally wrong.

Edward now feels like a prude, emasculated, and dying that JACOB CAN HAVE SEX WITH BELLA AND EDWARD HASN'T. I imagine...

Nothing actually changes, Edward still wants to marry first, then have sex, but this will always haunt him and always come up in every argument. He pointedly 'forgives' Bella for cheating on him (which Bella's grateful for because she feels like she cheated even though Edward had very much left), he still pressures her to marry him to have sex with him/turn her, and so we get the rest of the plot.

Just that when Jacob's a mind whammied thrall he tells Renesmee "I've been in your mother's human vagina just like you :)"

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies related to our artwork from yesterday + a couple of shippy ones! Plus I think one of the replies works as a mini-hc list for our Idia ships…

Anonymous asked:

Idia, Sweetie, why are your pants so low? Someone’s liable to pull them them clean off…

Idia’s pants are escaping… the whole room reeks of danger, so his pants obtained sentience and managed to pull themselves lower. Just a couple more minutes, and they’ll run away.

Well, the Tweels will rip them off before they achieve this goal…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

You have now awoken my old TWST Lab AU thanks to your Leech x Idia art work. I'm talking the overblots as patients and the first years are also patients while most of the second and third years are doctors and nurses, a lot of sneaking stuff in and sneaking off for some hardcore fun, we even had a rp (me and my friend) where Riddle got tired of the rage tests and shocks he got and had a three way between Azul and Floyd to let off steam

Damn that sounds great lol You guys always have a lot of fun! I’m glad Azul and Floyd were there to help Riddle out, tests and shocks sound tough~

I don’t know, labs and hospitals are such a sexy setting, especially when there is a darker twist to them.

Anonymous asked:

Idia will not love to meet the tweels' parents. I'm sure it will be misery for him to do so.

Oh absolutely. I think Idia would hate meeting anyone’s  parents to be honest, even Azul’s mom, who is supposed to be a lovely woman lol But the Tweels’ parents are way too intimidating. And if they act friendly, it’s somehow even more scary!

Anonymous asked:

Is there anything that Idia would see his lover doing that would drive him crazy (in a good way, of course) i.e. biting their lip, twirling their hair, anything?

Hmm, it’s not like it drives him super crazy, but he tends to unintentionally start to stare and feel a bit excited, when…

Azul opens jars and bottles with seemingly 0 effort. Not like he does it often in front of Idia, but that’s one of the reasons Idia could never get used to it. Maybe also when Azul bites his lip, but that’s because of his beauty mark – it kind of attracts Idia’s attention.

Lilia messages him first or sends an emote (he does it super rarely, so it’s always a big deal and makes Idia very happy), or looks at him with a smug and intimidating face. Idia would never admit that he likes the latter though.

Floyd runs/parkours past him. Not only it feels great when he isn’t chasing Idia, but also… damn that’s fast. And the way Floyd’s body works is almost freaky, he truly resembles an animal when he does this type of stuff. He’s so big.

Jade does anything with his hands/fingers: cooks, folds paper, writes something down. Idia kind of looks at him a lot during their housewarden/vice-housewarden meetings, Jade’s hands are very… agile. And long. Makes one’s mind wander. Plus, Jade always makes it look effortless and exceptionally precise, as if he’s not human.

Sebek holds a bunch of heavy objects, like chairs or boxes, and showcases his strength in any other way, but it has to be casual, because otherwise it’s like Sebek is bragging about being strong. The fact that this isn’t a big deal to him at all is what makes Idia stare. 

Ortho does anything!!! He is a cutie! But if we’re being serious, get these “tingly” moments when Ortho acts like a handsome young man. Winks at him, does gentlemanly/boyfriend gestures, says something straight out of either a romance manga or a movie. It’s very unusual, and Ortho’s been doing it more often lately. Maybe it’s on purpose?

Anonymous asked:

I was about to ask if you like Floyd x Cater or Sebek x Cater or Jack x Cater but then I read yer bio :( so do you have other Cater ships? I'm super curious since I don't see ya talking about him a lot

Yeah, sorry… even if it wasn’t for our top/bottom thing, these dynamics aren’t really our cup of tea unfortunately :(

We don’t have any major Cater ships, but we did talk about a couple of them before: Cater/Vil, Cater/Idia and Cater/Malleus. All of those are intriguing, and if we didn’t have all the other ships that keep us busy, I probably would’ve sketched them, but I just never have time for Cater somehow…

Anonymous asked:

You fw Floyd/Deuce? 👁👁

They have potential~ We talked about them here.

[rainykthebroken]

About Joronia & the Tear of Mourning:

This post is going to explain a key plot point of A Wonderful Attraction, and especially Chapters 17 & 18. If you haven't read them, I encourage you to not look at this, as it will spoil a lot!

So, for a brief explanation about what is the Tear of Mourning:

Like Taranza found in the book, it’s a flower that grows when someone powerful in magic, and very appreciated, dies. Magic is in a way a good fertilizer for arcanic beings (it explains why the Tear of Mourning are very rare: a ToM won’t automatically grow on the tomb of anyone).

However, such flowers do not allow you to talk to the person they're linked to, contrary to what's believed. They only create an illusion, using your memories and perception of them. This means the illusion won’t be objectively accurate, depending of your opinion of them.

I tried to show this numerous times in the story. Joronia tended to act around Taranza just like he thought she would. The fact that for someone that is described by Taranza as so caring and who doesn't beat about the bush, "Joronia" being slightly manipulative and cryptic in her interactions with him was a first hint. Taranza is projecting a lot of his issues on Joronia. He doesn't want to be happy or loved because of what he accidentally caused, but to give weight to his self-imposed punishment, he had began to believe that it's what Joronia would have want for him. Reread all Joronia’s interventions think of her as a representation of Taranza self-hatred and her behavior makes more sense.

There’s also the fact that the flower’s odor, which was supposed to smell like Joronia’s perfume, was repeatedly described as “nostalgic” in many occasions. Taranza isn’t smelling her perfume, but rather a memory of it. That’s also why for Adeline or Elfilin (in Chapter 11), the flower was odorless. Having never met the queen, the ToM couldn't replicate the smell for them.

The Tear of Mourning feast on emotional turmoil and it allows them to create more “realistic” illusion of the departed. “Joronia”, over the chapters, went from appearing for a fraction of a second in a bathroom mirror, to having a voice, being a lasting reflection on water, having an odor, appearing in Taranza’s dreams and finally, manifesting herself on the real side of the mirror.

However, that mirage still hasn’t any material tangibility, even in the last chapter. Sectonia never physically grab Taranza's sword, she solely wrapped her fingers around the blade. That’s also why she threatened to slap him, but never went for it: it would have shown that she couldn't actually hurt him.

The Tear of Mourning is a leech that feed on negative emotions, but it can't harm in a physical way. The more you let yourself drown into the fantasy, the more power it has over you.

After everytime Taranza discussed with Joronia, the Dream Flower is described as looking resplendissant (because our little spider boy is letting his fears and guilt cloud his judgement). However, the flower look wilted after each of his conversation with Magolor (because Taranza is being happy, and is considering the idea of actually breaking his promise of self-imposed misery).

From a more metaphorical standpoint: the Tear of Mourning was a not so subtle representation of Taranza’s depression. “Joronia” was his guilt, and “Sectonia” was his self-hatred.

There are some symbolism of self-destructive behaviors concerning Taranza’s relation with the flower. He keeps touching its petals despite the fact it’s described as sharp as razor blades.

Taranza also have a whole scene in Chapter 5 where while comparing the ToM with the rose that is going to be gifted to Magolor later on (symbolism of his struggle to choose which relationship he wants), it’s say he barely realize the thorns are hurting his hand (symbolic of how is obsession with Joronia is harming him without him realizing it). This scene is a bit repeated with Magolor at the end of his chapter, with him actually taking lots of precautions to not be hurt by the thorns (showing that as for his case, Magolor is too afraid and apprehensive of love to actually simply enjoy it).

Perhaps the most obvious hint of the ill-effect of the plant was how Taranza nearly hurt himself twice trying to reach for Joronia. Once in Chapter 6, while leaning on the bridge and nearly falling on the track of the attraction. A second time near the lake in Chapter 15, trying to take Joronia’s hand. Each time, what stopped Taranza from falling was a character (Magolor & Dark Meta Knight) that was going to have an important conversation with him that would improve his mental health.

(Sorry if it was a mess to read, I'm writing this on the train).

[bluemoonscape]

GENTLY GRABS YOU (endearing)

HEADCANONS FOR FAUST AND SOME OF THE CAST PLEASEE (I'm curious what you think he's like with the forensic team, Alana, or Freddie Lounds- idk if i told you ideas i had for Jack / Chilton but i wanna hear from YOUUUU)

FAUST HEADCANONSSS some of which I’m leeching off of ideas you’ve mentioned:

-So I headcanon this for Will too and I think it makes a lot of sense for Faust: I read him as demisexual. I feel like he specifically becomes attracted to Will and Hannibal because of their emotional connections—it doesn’t read as being influenced by physical attraction.

-I’m agreeing with you so hard that the name given to him at birth was Fawn like THE HUNTER AND THE FAWN SYMBOLISM GOES HARD

-He sees Abigail and Chiyoh as sister figures of a sort. Losing Abigail was extremely difficult for him.

-He doesn’t feel insecure about his scars until Hannibal talks about the fact that his wrist scars were a consequence of love. At this point, Faust’s apathy towards his scars starts to deteriorate.

-Sometimes he psyches himself out when he’s alone and thinks he’s back in that place. It’s a big part of why he started going to therapy with Hannibal.

-His near-constant expression since he was little appears very serious and deep in thought. He spends a lot of time in his head and has for as long as he can remember.

-A funnier headcanon based on something I’ve experienced: He once cut his hair short when he was a kid, then immediately regretted it because “oh my god I look like a lesbian.” He’s never not had long hair since.

-He has a big encyclopedia on his shelf about the language of flowers.

-I don’t know much about Faust as a child but I can’t help feeling like it would make a lot of sense if he was very sheltered and isolated as a child? That could’ve spurred his irrepressible curiosity.

As for his relationships with the aforementioned characters, here’s my guesses on how their interactions would go:

-Faust likes Alana in some respects. He appreciates her strong personality and her understanding of the mind. Her inclination towards Will being based on “professional curiosity” however, rubs him the wrong way and makes him a little more cautious about what he says and does around her.

-Jimmy and Brian are a little overbearing, and Faust sometimes feels like he’s on the outside of the forensic team, but he sneaks a joke in every now and then while they work together and they seem to like him for it. Beverly is more his pace and puts more of an effort into keeping him in the loop than the other two (mostly because they’re oblivious). Shouts out to her for inadvertently bringing Faust and Will together in Chapter 1 of the fic, thanks Beverly very cool

-OK SO HEAR ME OUT: FAUST DOES ACTUALLY HAVE A FUNDAMENTAL UNDERSTANDING OF FREDDIE? She craves knowledge. She seeks to understand and make others understand. Her arrogance and curiosity is directly aligned with Faust’s own. They see themselves in one another and are suspicious of one another because of it because “oh no it’s the worst version of me”

-Feeling like Faust would be chronically pissed off at Jack. He knows Will can handle himself with Jack, but does that mean he should have to? No.

-As for my man Chilton, Faust isn’t scared of him, but he is scared of what he represents to him: Isolation and captivity. In Season 2, when Chilton starts being more of a Will-is-innocent believer, I can see them working together in some capacity, though.

LMK WHAT YOU WERE THINKING FOR JACK AND CHILTON, this was so fun to think about!!

[ambrossart]

good morning!!! I hope this week is better than your last, I’m looking forward to the next chapter of Paper Men! I was rereading and noticed that it seems, of all her love interests, Patrick is the only one who doesn’t hold her to this impossibly high standard. I was wondering if you did this intentionally (because I can tell everything you’ve written so far has been) or if this could change? I feel like this is partially why I root for Patrick even though he’s bad news, he’s different than Henry and Vic… he’s openly interested in Evelyn and seems to admire her (admire might be a strong word for him) differently than the other guys have been. idk if any of this makes sense lol. just seems unlike Vic and Henry, he doesn’t need Evelyn to be perfect.

Well, tomorrow (or uh… today, technically) is my birthday, so this week is already gonna be better than the last lol. I was just really busy with work last week, and I'm still getting used to my new writing schedule. Normally, I have a little free time during the afternoon to write, but not anymore. Now I have to do all my writing late at night. I don't love that, but I don’t really have a choice.

Anyway, it absolutely was intentional to have Patrick treat Evelyn differently because I want people to understand why someone like Patrick (who, at first glance, probably doesn't seem like Evelyn's type) might appeal to her, especially at this point in her life.

When it comes to relationships, Evelyn is very direct. If she likes someone, either romantically or platonically, it's pretty obvious that she likes them. Evelyn's not good at holding in her emotions, and that, unfortunately, can be overwhelming for a lot of people. We saw that with Victor when they were kids. Evelyn came on very strong right out of the gate and Victor couldn't handle it, so he kept pushing her away until Evelyn eventually gave up and moved on. Then she got “involved” with Henry, which was a slight improvement but came with all kinds of other problems. And you’re right, he does hold her to an impossible standard. Henry demands perfection and absolute loyalty from his partner; otherwise he doesn’t feel safe. That’s all well and good for Henry, but it’s not exactly fair to Evelyn.

Frankly, Evelyn’s exhausted right now. She’s tired of putting all her time and energy into one-sided relationships. She wants to be wanted. She wants to be desired. So now here comes Patrick, who is very consistent and clear about what he wants: he wants her, that’s all. He doesn’t play hard to get. He doesn’t pull away. And he doesn’t place any expectations or restrictions on her. With Patrick, Evelyn can do whatever she wants. She can be clingy and emotional. (In fact, Patrick wants her to be emotional. The guy’s a leech; he feeds off that shit.) She can’t cross a line because Patrick has no boundaries. It’s basically impossible to make that man uncomfortable. That’s gotta be pretty liberating for someone who’s used to walking on eggshells.

Most importantly, Patrick displays a genuine (or at least a seemingly genuine) interest in her, her life, her hobbies. He asks questions. He listens. He remembers. Does he have an ulterior motive? Of course he does, but does that really matter? Eh, I’ll leave that up to you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Right now, Patrick is exactly what Evelyn needs, and I think if she ever lets her guard down, she’ll be surprised by how attracted to him she really is.

… which is what Patrick is counting on. 😂

[daydream-hq]

Ever After High Pokemon Teams - Ashlynn Ella

Part 3 of my headcannons of "What if Ever After High characters had Pokemon Teams". Today we have...

Ashlynn Ella

Ever since she was little, Ashlynn Ella knew she wanted to be a Pokemon Ranger! She loves helping hurt Pokemon and making them feel better.

Not long after she started her journey, however, she ran into a very kind, handsome and helpful Pokemon Breeder who ended up falling in love with - much to the disagreement of her friends, who do not think that a Journey is a good time to start a relationship. 

While Ashlynn does understand their points, she cannot help her heart. Plus, her Pokemon really seem to like him, so that is definitely something.

Trainer Class: Pokemon Ranger

Ashlynn's team mainly comprises of Pokemon that either can help heal other Pokemon or are Pokemon that have been hurt in the pass.

Tulip the Meganium

Moves:

Sweet Scent

Giga Drain

Body Slam

Leech Seed

Tulip was Ashlynn’s first Pokemon and main partner. They will often spend their days walking through the forest together. Tulip will use her signature breath to help revive dead plants and sick Grass Type Pokemon and her Sweet Scent to help calm down arguments.

When I started planning out Ashlynn’s team, the Chikorita line was an instant perfect starter match. Not only does Meganium’s breath revive dead plants, Ashlynn seems like the type to pick the Grass Starter!

Daisy the Blissey

Moves:

Soft-Boiled

Heal Pulse

Chilling Water

Echoed Voice

Ashlynn found Daisy wandering tired and alone in the forest after starting her journey. The sweet and kind-hearted Pokemon was using Soft-Boiled to heal injured Pokemon in the forest, leaving her with barely any HP for herself! After helping her heal, Daisy decided she wanted to join Ashlynn on her journey. She has since evolved into Blissey and is a vital part of Ashlynn’s team.

Chansey and Blissey were also really easy choices for Ashlynn’s team. I knew Ashlynn would want to heal other Pokemon she encountered on her journey. As for why Blissey instead of Chansey - there is no way that those two would not have a tight friendship bond!

Zinnia the Flechinder

Moves:

Flame Charge

Fly

Steel Wing

U-Turn

Ashlynn found Zinnia as a cute little Fletchling all hurt after being poisoned by a Beedrill and after a quick healing session and meal, Fletchling decided to join Ashlynn’s team! Zinnia would later evolve into a Fletchinder and her ability Flame Body has helped warm up freezing Pokemon and sooth sore muscles.

I wanted Ashlynn to have some kind of bird Pokemon because she is featured in her official artwork with a little bird on her finger, as well as the fact that in many versions of Cinderella, the princess is helped out by some kind of bird. I ended up settling on Fletchinder for her final team. I debated giving her a Talonflame, but I do not see Ashlynn being a huge battler.

Gladiolus the Indeedee

Moves:

Psychic

Healing Wish

Disarming Voice

Hyper Voice

Ashlynn encountered the Indeedee that would become known as Gladiolus when she was traveling through a dark and gloomy forest. Despite the scary atmosphere, Ashlynn’s emotions were positive and this ended up attracting Gladiolus to the Pokemon Ranger. He guided and protected the Pokemon Ranger as they navigated the dim forest and decided to continue traveling with Ashlynn. Gladiolus often helps his trainer with the day-to-day tasks of taking care of hurt Pokemon and everyday chores. However, Gladiolus has also shown interest in another Indeedee that happens to be the Pokemon of another trainer…

Like Blissey, Indeedee is another Pokemon typically used by the Nurse Joys and seemed like another obvious choice for Ashlynn’s team. Why I went with a male Indeedee rather than a female one? 2 reasons, 1) the Pokedex entries for Male Indeedee sound a lot like Cinderella and I thought that fit Ashlynn better and 2) I have Female Indeedee down for another specific trainer for later.

Calla Lily the Corsola

Moves:

Surf

Ancient Power

Life Dew

Earth Power

Ashlynn caught Calla Lily when she was helping Water Pokemon out when cleaning up a polluted sea. Ashlynn ended up having to catch Calla Lily to effectively treat her and Calla Lily ended up wanting to stay with her after having fully recovered. She helps Ashlynn with Water travel and rescues.

When I was looking for a Water Type Pokemon for Ashlynn I remembered that Corsola was constantly having trouble with water pollution and being hunted by Marearnie and I figured Corsola was a perfect fit for Ashlynn’s team. Also, one of Ashlynn’s main colors is coral, so it felt right.

Honeysuckle the Minccino

Moves:

Tail Slap

Sing

Bullet Seed

Triple Axel

Honeysuckle was found injured and alone and Ashlynn immediately took the little cutie into her care. Like most of her other Pokemon, Honeysuckle did not want to leave Ashlynn and joined her team. Honeysuckle will often help Ashlynn with Pokemon healing by cuddling and cleaning up.

The main reason I put Miniccino on the team was due to its connection to cleaning. But the other reason is how cute and helpful it is! That is also part of the reason I decided to not have Honeysuckle evolve, along with that being a decision that Ashlynn would leave to the Pokemon.

And there it is!! Ashlynn's Pokemon Team! I am planning on posting Hunter's team next, but feel free to comment and suggest other characters you would like to see!

[icycoldninja]

So the idea. is for a male yandere….i think it would work better as a one shot than a head canon

yandere has joined Neros little group as an expert on the occult to help him fight demons and understand any weaknesses they might have ….but he’s fallen desperately in love with Nero and are scarily jealous of pretty much everyone in his life especially kyrie….for obvious reasons. They just don’t understand why he’s wasting time on her and why he can’t see what’s in front of him….with his help Nero could very well become the next sparda….if this simpering leech wasn’t draining him of his potential

So they do the only thing they can do….summon some demons…..a small group to lure Nero away from her…and then yandere siccs some more on Kyrie…to get her out the way..,.and then comfort him in his greif I imagine it ends with an absolutely destroyed Nero being comforted by his good freind…who’s going to help him through the pain

A few more terrible tradgies and it will just be two of them…forever

hehehehe evil yandere time. Enjoy.

Just a few more tragedies (Nero x Yandere!Male!Reader)

Warning: Blood, death, and yandere behavior ahead. If you are uncomfortable with these themes, DNI.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'd joined the Devil May Cry team a few months ago as an expert on the occult. Though the devil hunters were skilled, demons were a unique, diverse species, making it necessary to bring in someone who studied them; someone who knew all their strengths and weaknesses. Since you were the best in the business, it only made sense that they would pick you.

That's all this was supposed to be: business. So why did you develop such intense feelings for the young devil hunter Nero? Why was it that every little thing he did captivated you? Why could you never stop thinking about him; fantasizing about him, imagining wild scenarios and all the things you wanted to do to him?

Simple, it was because you were a yandere, but your fanaticism had been dormant until now.

Yanderes like you wish for nothing more than to make their obsession belong to them, these desires soon growing so dark and uncontrollable, the yandere essentially becomes a demon themselves.

This was the way it was with you; every night, as you sunk into sweet dreams consisting of nothing but Nero, your heart became more and more encased in darkness. Before long, this darkness had tainted your emotions and thinking, causing you to develop unwarranted bitterness towards all those who were present in Nero's life.

Specifically, that simpering bitch Kyrie, Nero's "one and only true love". You'd seen them together multiple times, quickly growing jealous of how happy they looked together. Why did Nero settle for that homely, exaggeratedly optimistic and cheerful fool who would most likely age to become a nagging old hag? Why didn't he see you? Surely, you were more attractive; surely you had more to offer him than her. Not only that, but he was letting this bland, boring girl dim his potential, ruining his future! He could become the next demon king, stronger than even Sparda himself, if only he could get past this annoying, fleshy hurdle, which he would never do, because she had conditioned him over the years to rely on her for emotional stability.

Not to mention, that girl took up nearly all his time, stealing him away from you! You felt so upset, so tired, so lonely and lost without him. Why couldn't Kyrie just get out of the way?! Why couldn't Nero get rid of her and be with you instead? Just the thought of Nero spending the rest of his life with someone else made you so angry, you could feel your temperature rise, your blood boil, and your head ache. You'd wrap your arms around yourself in a futile attempt to comfort yourself, but it was meaningless. You needed Nero--and only Nero's touch to calm down.

After many nights of tossing and turning restlessly in your sleep, you decided that in order to get your beloved to notice you, you would have to remove Kyrie from the picture entirely. Of course, simply scaring her away wouldn't work, since she was so pathetically loyal and practically guaranteed to come trotting back like a lost puppy. No, in order to get Nero all to yourself, you'd have to take extreme measures.

While that sounds clichéd, it really wasn't, because your methods of removal exceeded that of any yandere that might have preceeded you because you decided to enlist the aid of the very creatures you specialized in destroying.

In the wee hours of the night, you left your home and headed out into the woods, bringing a long, sharp knife and pistol for protection. You ventured deep into the woods, ignoring the various glowing eyes that glared out at you. The beasts lurking all around knew better than to mess with you--you were a man on a mission, someone who should not be trifled with.

You continued into the woods until you came to a large clearing where various symbols and images had been burnt into the ground. This was a ritual site commonly used by fanatics and cult members, all for the same purpose as you were about to use it for: summoning demons.

After laying your supplies in order, drawing the proper runes, and whispering the incantation, you couldn't help but ponder the nature of your current predicament. Most of the time, people who did this were maniacal psychopaths who belonged in mental institutions, so did that make you one of them? Of course not. You were an exception to the rule. You were definitely not crazy.

A few moments passed before a growling demon emerged from the circle of runes, followed by an army of Empusas, among other creatures. They glared at you menacingly, but since you were the one who brought them here, they did not attack--yet.

"Go," You said, pointing to the forest exit. "Some of you find the devil hunter Nero--but don't kill him. Just distract him. The others, go after Kyrie, his pathetic girlfriend. Oh, and don't just kill her, don't even leave a corpse behind."

The demons nodded and scampered off, vanishing into the night, as was natural, since it was their home, in a sense. Feeling immensely proud of yourself, you jaunted out of the forest, more than eager to locate Nero so you could watch the chaos unfold.

This wasn't a sign of insanity--absolutely not--you weren't crazy.

A few minutes later, you arrived at Nero's house, where the carnage was on full display. Nero was about 80 feet from the front door, fending off the demons encroaching on the house, while Kyrie cowered in the kitchen in fear. You could see her through the window; saw the horrified expression on her face, and smiled. The bitch was getting her just desserts. Good.

A group of Empusas shattered the window and clambered in, followed by a Hell Caina, who, with some difficulty, managed to clamber in through the window. One good swing of its scythe was all it took to kill the useless girl; her lifeless, bloody corpse collapsing to the ground after uttering one final scream.

That scream resonated throughout the air, echoing in your ears, bringing an even wider smile to your face. That's it. Now all you had to do was swoop in like the great and benevolent friend you were and ease poor Nero's aching heart.

Nero heard Kyrie's distressed scream, and in a fit of panic, demolished all the demons that remained before racing back into the house at light speed. When he saw the body, a guttural, truly pained cry left his mouth, reverberating in the air twice as loud as Kyrie's death screech. After hearing this, you felt genuinely troubled. While you hated Kyrie, and everyone else who got between you and Nero, you really did love that white haired devil hunter and hated seeing him sad.

Naturally, you decided to convienently arrive on the scene, surprising and relieving Nero all at once. He was shocked that you were here, since you had no reason to be, but was glad nonetheless because he'd just suffered a serious loss.

"Hey, Y/N," He said, voice brittle and eyes wet. "What-what are you doing here?"

"I happened to be in the area," You answered, gently. "Just...gathering materials for my research."

"Ah, ok," Nero muttered, covering his mouth with his hand. "I-I'm glad you're here...this...is crazy." He gestured sadly to the dead girl in the corner, tears now streaming down his cheeks.

"I can imagine," You responded, kneeling next to him and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "And...well...if it helps...I'm here."

These words weren't fake; you truly loved and cared about him, even if your methods for expressing this love were out of pocket. You were sorry things had to be this way, but hey, sometimes, certain actions need to be taken.

Nero was grieving, deeply so, and since a good friend of his whom he happened to find rather attractive was offering a shoulder to cry on, it would be a crime not to seize this opportunity.

"Thank you, Y/N," He mumbled tearfully, burying his face in your shoulder. "You're an angel."

Ironic, wasn't it? Thankfully, the young man couldn't see the maniacal grin as your arms wrapped around his torso, holding him close to you, or your true nature would have been exposed, but that didnt matter now.

Everything was coming together perfectly, exactly as you wanted.

Just a few more heartbreaking tragedies, and Nero would be yours forever.

[genderkoolaid]

“You can set that boundary and say you don't want anyone who identifies as a woman to interact with you. That's your right. But multigender people aren't gonna trust you & are gonna see you as exorsexist or at least have exorsexist ways of thinking that make you unsafe for us to be around” hey man! Maybe not trusting someone who sets boundaries about their relationship is….. bad? Demanding someone have no boundaries about who interacts with their (especially sexual) content and demanding that people allow people who they are uncomfortable with to be alright with interactions! Yikes!

Also can I control who’s attracted to me? No. But I can choose to not act on it, if someone says men dni, men dni, swag. I simply respect relationships. Im not saying boygirls/girl boys/genderfucks are weird, they fuck, some of my best friends are gender fuckers, I’m saying it’s weird to explicitly identify as a woman and then get angry when people who don’t enjoy women interacting with their content…. Get….. angry? At them for setting that boundary.

sigh. okay

Your obsession with our womanhood is misandrogyny. Multigender people aren't infecting any communities, we aren't leeching in womanhood to gay spaces or manhood to lesbian spaces we aren't opening doors to cishet predators, and us interacting with your posts as gay men is not infecting you with our girl cooties. I'm not saying you don't have real trauma but your focus on how some gay men are women is a focus on how our androgyny and how unnerving and dangerous it is to binary identity.

On top of that: the focus on our womanhood when we are discussing our identities gay men means you are assuming that womanhood is a dominant identity, one stronger than our manhood, because its the part of our androgyny which unnerves you the most, which means its our dominant feature. When it comes to being a gay man, everyone sees me as a woman, but when I'm a lesbian suddenly I'm the most man ever, depending on which one offends monogender/binary people the most. If a multigender person is interacting with your post because they relate to it as a gay man, why are you focusing on their womanhood so hard, regardless of if you even know how their womanhood impacts their sexuality and manhood? All you need to know about multigender gay men, in this context, is that they are gay men in gay men's space. Its not weird to explicitly identify as a gay man and then get angry when people invalidate your identity as a gay man because you are also a woman, because they don't want to question why they think those things are incompatible. Why is it so concerning to you that some gay men are women? Why does their gender specifics matter to you at all? Why do you feel like its such an affront in the first place? That's the exorsexism. That's why multigender people wouldn't fucking trust you. Emotions aren't apolitical or except from critical reflection & I'm saying you ought to reflect on why you have this wariness towards multigender people in the first place instead of unquestioningly following it.

Lets pretend to be a transphobic gay man for a minute. "I don't want trans men interacting with my posts. I just don't want to have to see vaginas in gay men's space. Its not transphobic to set boundaries. Why are you getting upset with me? You just want to force me to have sex with vaginas, that's homophobic. I have the right to loudly tell trans men I don't want them to have anything to do with me because I think they all vaginas, all want to fuck me, and I find that disgusting. I respect trans men, I just think that letting them in gay men's spaces is opening the door to trying to force gay men to have sex with women!" Do you seriously not see the similarities?

Look I've had two different anons now talk to me about how much they love & support genderweird people, buuuut they just make life so hard for me because they talk about their identity and want to be respected and partake in their communities :( I promise I support you guys I just would like you to shape your lives around my internalized transphobia. I mean you literally said "I love gender fuckers, my best friends a gender fucker"

I really, truthfully, honestly hope you realize how fucked it is that you've now made me, someone who literally brought up the emotional trauma this kind of exorsexism has had on me and my sexuality, put all of this energy into explaining this and defending us.

[dojae-huh]

As an Dy's solo stan I would say yes some of Dy's solo stan can be super annoying a lot of times (most recent instant is I don't like how they have to compare Dy's archivement to others and claim he's the most successful nct soloist, so unecessary), but I personally dont see them villainify, belittle and attack other members's character like the way other solo stans do to Dy? Their anger (while I wouldn't say rational or justified) mostly direct to the fandom and the company but the things these akgaes said about Dy then and there, a lot of times unprovoked are truly vile. I stop paying attention to those antis long ago but this time the argument last longer than usual and it got even worse when they appeared together which is surprising.

I've seen Do's fans attack other members. Not as a group effort, though. Yes, in general Do's fans are behaving better, and the random Do's fans who get interviewed on streets look genuinely like very nice people. It's because of the type of idol Doyoung is. I talked before how there are Ace and Underdog type of idols who attract more of confrontational and egoistic fans. Tae and Jae are aces, WinWin or Yuta are underdogs. Doyoung is none of them, the majority of his fans are emotionally mature. Alas, it seems to change. Do's i-fans on X actually need to make effort to maintain this "oh, we are the better subfandom" image of themselves. This riding a high horse might not last long if the things continue the way they are developing.

It's a slippery slope, unfortunately. Starts with minor things, then escalates, and a person often doesn't notice how they surround themselves with not the best moots and become toxic themselves. Even if we don't want to acknowledge it, we, humans, are animals first, we need to make a civilised person out of ourselves, actually grow into one, and constantly work on maintaining positive traits and good behaviour.

Idols and artists are supposed to bring joy, art, beauty, emotional support, companionship even. And the best of them do it. And yet people choose petty wars and dick-measuring instead of healing with a song, an idol friendship, or becoming better following a good example of their bias. And yes, antis and toxic-solo stans kind of drag a fan into their squabbles. However, it is the Internet, the said anti can be ignored or silenced by a ban if they personally attack. It is a choice to be involved with them, afterall (with the exeption of some serious cases (and no, the charity is not one of those), I'm talking about day to day commotion on X).

Doyoung is perceived as a threat. Other subfandoms simply acknowledge unconciously his importance in the group, his success and his talent. That is why he is villinified. It is a way to allow oneself to become hostile, become vicious - to turn "the enemy" into a monster, to strip him off the "human" label. Doyoung can't be Taeyong's friend, no, he is a scheming two-faced leech who sleeps and sees how to undermine the leader. Doyoung can't be loved by the industry people because of his character and be offered opportunities, no, SM pushes him as a nepobaby. Doyoung can't donate out of the goodness of his heart, no, it's just a way to fool everyone into believing he is kind and not actually rotten to the core. Doyoung can't be the best vocalist, no, that would mean acknowledging he has a talent and a right to be highlighted.

You see the pattern? Stripping him of the halo and the wings and making him into the devil incarnate. This way it is easy to justify hatred. Turn a human into a nonhuman, a "leech". And the hatred was born because Doyoung is too close in rank to their bias (also wears a shiny crown), or is the bias' dear friend (jealousy of his proximity to the bias), or "steals" all the opportunities (singing lines) and titles (leader).

It's futile to fight with the antis, they won't change their mind. And being aggressive in return is unproductive as well because passerby and new fans silently observe this exchange and may start to dislike or keep away from Doyoung because of the unpleasant association.

You fight shadows with light, and cover a nasty smell with fragrance. If there are more posts praising Doyoung and showing off his good sides instead of active squabbles and subtwits, then the negativity from the antis will simply drown and become hard to find.

It is attention that gives those antis and Do's haters strength. Stop giving it to them. Whether it's interaction or thoughts and emotions.

[shytastemakerthing]

please matchmake this hopeless romantic LOL ♪ (romantic please!! not platonic.) I’m someone who loves to dress up in pink, frilly dresses and I tend to wear j-fashions like sweet lolita or hime gyaru, both very pink and frilly, I love love love cats and tbh I’m a big dork, I’m ambiverted(leaning towards introverted) and I think I’m enfp/infp, I can be hyper sometimes but also tired, I’m a little emotional sometimes too , i love video games, manga, anime, I have an anime figure collection (most of them being pink) and I love cute stationery♪

Hello! It wasn't specified as to which Fandom you wanted this for so I went with the most popular, which is TWST! I would usually send a message to ask but given this is an anonymous request, I can't do that lol🤣😭

I hope you enjoy!

Note: Dont really pay attention to the poll at the bottom. I accidentally clicked it and now it won't go away and i can't post this until i put something in that poll😭😭.

I match you with......

Idia Shroud

🎮 This guy seems to be pretty popular within tne matchup sections of things (not that I am complaining, I love writing about him xD).

🎮 This is a clear story of the whole 'opposites attract' trope that we see going on all of the time. Between the both of you, it's like night and day. His gloomy disposition and state of dress (I hope he washes that hoodie bevause he wears it all of the time), and then your pink and frilly clothing really makes the both of you stand out when you're next to one another.

🎮 This doesn't mean that he isn't a fan of the way that you dress. In fact, it's the complete opposite. Do you know how many of his favorite anime characters dress the same way that you do? He's already express ordered quite a few outfits just for you...... and if you happen to wear a cosplay of one of said favorite characters, the man has ascended on the spot with this derpy grin on his face.

🎮 Movie and Anime marathons are a MUST in this relationship. The fact that you love them as well is a huge bonus to him. Why go on actual dates when you coild both curl up in the comfort of his room with plenty of snacks and binge watch the latest series that the both of you are into?

🎮 Speaking of dates, it's rather hard to get him to go on one outside of the confines of his room, but given your love for cats and his love for cats, if you manage to get you two a spot at a cat Cafe during one of the less busy times of the day, then he will consider going with you. Spoiler alert, he does go and tiu had to keep him from trying to take some of the cats home.

🎮 Cute stationary (I am also an avid collector of things in this category), he knows you love it. He knows you collect it. His family is very well off and he has an account that he has been saving and wracking up for years now. You best believe that he will be splurging on you to get you you the best and cutesy stationary supplies. Honestly, seeing the smile on your face causes his heart to race and that love meter to keep on filling.

🎮 No matter the gaming set up you had before, as said before, he is very well off in terms of finances. He has 100% gotten you a brand knew, latest off the line, gaming setup in your cute, pink, over the top style. It was an anniversary gift and he is still reeling in from the mass attack of cuddles and kisses he received from you after this.

🎮 Hybperneess isn't exactly his strong suit and he is well known for avoiding the extroverts at the school. Your hyperactiveness is a bit different, though. Unlike other people, you are emotionally aware and are able to see when he begins to grow uncomfortable with tbe amount kf energy you are excuding and are able to quickly bring the energized atmosphere down to the levels where he is the lost comfortable.

🎮 Overall, the relationship took time to get used too, but now he's latched onto you like a leech (no pun intended). He honestly can't get enough of just how adorable you are, your state of dress, and just how tou carry yourself. This is certainly a romance route he wants to carry out until the very end.

[callmethehunter]

From Quora. This resonated with me. I agree with many (not necessarily all) but most points that were made. So I thought I’d share it in case it would help someone.

How do I get over being played by a guy?

“You need to learn something while you’re still young.

Most men you meet literally just want to have sex with you and mess with your emotions. That’s the majority you’re dealing with as a young lady. Do this: Don’t go all in with your feelings EVER, unless the guy you’re dealing with has proven through time and consistency that he is WORTH THE RISK . Stay detached for as long as you can before you conclude that he is worth risking your heart for.

Keep men on the shelf, so to speak.Talk with many men, not just that one guy. Why? He’s talking with many women! So next time around do what I’m telling you. Do NOT go all in with your emotions with anyone unless you’ve been seeing them for a minimum of 3 years. You need to be cultivating yourself, your talents, your hobbies, your career. STOP living on the high that is “love”. It is deceptive and not always reciprocal. It is not accurate. It’s literally a chemical reaction. Control that shit.

So. Keep your options open at all times. Talk with many men. Do NOT get attached to any of them. How do you do that? Cultivate yourself. Get hobbies. What do you love about yourself? Cultivate what you love. Work hard and volunteer your time. If you have enough time to be devoted to a man at such a young age (I’m assuming you’re young), girl, your priorities are not straight.

Remember, a man can only hurt you if you let him. Also remember, if he hurt you by being a “player”, his life isn’t exactly straight and he obviously has issues, so why would you love a guy like that to begin with? Tell yourself the guy is in pain, and he used you to ease his pain. Then let him go, because you don’t need a leech in your life. Just because he has issues doesn’t mean he should reel women into his pit of darkness. That’s how I see it.

Be empowered, be a strong woman. THAT is attractive.”

[fourtyfourcatss]

-> for @kamesama !

TWST…. - FLOYD LEECH 🗝️

❰❰ someone who does not dwell on things so easily, someone who does not hurt so easily, someone who can persist on you, someone who can hold you high. someone who can love you. it’s floyd.

❰❰ floyd is not good with reading between the lines. that’s why he loves talking with you. you’re honest, you wouldn’t mince your words around him, there’s no need for jade to worry about him when it’s with you, who has a good head on your shoulders and a harsh yet good heart. the road starts off very bumpy, since you do not sugarcoat your thoughts and neither does he. this is an extremely slow sort of love that flows like a calm river, but is still walking forward. only when you’re made if far and looked back can you truly understand the progressed that had been made between the two of you.

❰❰ not only so, the two of each other open one another up. with how tall he is, he’s the perfect form for embracing you as you turn vulnerable or emotional. he’s surprisingly good at comforting in a very specific way, giving you another, optimistic but realistic angle to chew at anything you were pondering over. his emotional iq isnt so bad, and with years of being with such a man like jade, he can articulate his words with the proper weight of messages he wants to convey. that doesn’t mean he walks on eggshells around you, but he knows what to say so it doesn’t trigger any uncomfortable feelings around you while getting the message across.

❰❰ he finds himself giggly at your touch and attention — doing things for him is great, yes — but he’d rather wrap his arms around you and sink to the ocean floor with you slowly. he’ll catch a whiff of coffee around you occasionally, and starts to associate that scent with you. how he asks you out in the first place is with a coffee he paid for you in the lounge, winking at you from a distance. i get the vibe that you’re hard to impress, so it takes a while before you accept, but he’s going to pamper you to no end when you do get together! you need some pampering i think. to be honest, he pampers you even before getting together.

❰❰ his nickname for you is probably something in the lines of sealy.

❰❰ he can perfectly recall everything you like and said word for word (the latter is restricted to two days at most though). not only that, he’ll remember it for a long time too. in the future while the two of you are out, he’ll mention something you’ve said like 5 years in the past, and you’re looking at him like 🤨 “you remember that?”

❰❰ very partial to kisses from you, since its you. like, on the cheek, on the temple, on the lips. give him some as motivation in between classes, and he’s definitely going to melt. many times, azul and jade has to ask you to seek him for things since its only available if you’re the one asking. and people being put off by you? less competition 😼 all said and done, he’s definitely ready to squeeze the insecurities out of you. do you know how interesting you are? the fact that he of all people stayed with you is tantamount to how amazing you are as a person, though you seem to have a life tinted with a bit of melancholy.

❰❰ your drive and determination is especially attractive to him, compared to how easily he lazes around and gives up. its an inspiring sight to see, seeing you stand so firm, seeing how you choose a stance and properly stand next to it instead of being one of those wishy washy cowards people who change so easily. seeing them switching up so fast after just a few mere threats is too, too boring.

❰❰ introduce him to the things you love. he’s absolutely enthusiastic about that. especially horse-riding. of course, he’s rode some seahorses in the past, but the ones are land are so different… ride with him, won’t you? you’ll have to ride on the back since he’s new to this, but it’s definitely not an attempt for physical contact right floyd?… anyways! he loves nuzzling you too. he’ll definitely sneak over whenever you’re doing something and try to catch you off guard. maybe if you’re reading or drawing something you dont want to show him, he’ll tease you by hovering over your shoulder (the first few times open eyed, and afterwards with closed eyes so he doesnt see lol). while he does respect your boundaries, he’s also nosy. make sure to properly articulate everything you want and dont want him to do, since he’ll definitely listen, but he’s also very curious of everything you’re doing! if you tell him beforehand, he’ll be less likely to give into that impulse.

❰❰ the two if you joke around a lot, with a lot of inside jokes. its like whenever the two of you meet, a switch flips. i would say this is definitely a slightly reluctant acquaintances -> hella good friends -> lovers kind of situation. you guys make eye contact from across the cafeteria and you have to physically fight the urge to laugh type of relationship. it’s definitely a love with vibrant warmth and laughter, where it feels like its an endless summer day where the weather isnt too sweltering, at the perfect temperature, with a breeze running across.

[a/n] hope you enjoyed this! i hope this is a pleasant surprise. i have amazing sense of compatibility so you can take this as 80% accurate at the very least, trust 😼

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Spent too much time writing headcanons and still couldn’t finish in time, so a couple of replies today oops- Happy Sunday, I guess!

Anonymous asked:

oughhhh i love love LOVE rook in your art style oughhhh

Thank you so much, Anon 🥰 I love drawing him a lot.

Anonymous asked:

𝙸 𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙽𝚈 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚂𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙸𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝙾𝙶𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁!!!!

𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚗𝚘𝚠 (𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 😭)

𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚛𝚝 ✨

Hehe thank youuuu! I’m glad you liked the sketch to the point of wanting to eat it ��

These two are adorable together, we really love their dynamic. Should draw them more often…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

AAAAGGGGHHHH YOURE SNAKFINNY ART! I've always loved them, rn my heart is in shreds with the manga so this heals me a little bit more

Thank you so much! Yeah, even though we haven’t read that part of the Arc yet, the spoilers are unavoidable. Sometimes you just gotta sketch something fluffy and this was a good excuse lol

Anonymous asked:

has mr leech ever stolen one of the twins' 'boyfriends' or otherwise ruined a guy they liked? what kinda people are they attracted to, the same type as their kids, or... worse?

Yeah, the Tweels and their parents have pretty much the same taste in a lot of ways: their favourite type of person is someone who is entertaining (important!) and bulliable for them. Maybe this is why Papa and Mama Leech aren’t as intimate anymore: none of them is willing to be the bullied one lol But Mama Leech is also kind of an emotional vampire, so she likes emotional people, people who are easy to manipulate and who would do anything she asks for. As for Papa Leech, he really loves intimidating and dominating. If Mama Leech picks a person, it’ll take some time before she gets bored of them. But Papa Leech tosses the boys (and the girls) away pretty easily and quickly, without getting too obsessed with them.

To answer your first question… it hasn’t happened yet, but it’s not impossible. The fact that this is their son’s partner wouldn’t stop either of them, it’s just that Mama Leech would act like a tortured sinful woman who really regrets it (she doesn’t), and Papa Leech would simply groom the guy with a meaningful conversation and fuck his guts out a couple of hours later. I guess that would be one of the reasons for the Tweels not to show their potential boyfriends (boytoys?) to their parents, they just know that if they get too intruigued, there is always a chance that poor Riddle or Idia would get stolen for an hour or two.

Anonymous asked:

wow, hello jadeanon. I suppose this makes me Idianon? Perhaps I'll send that wink back over to you. And yes, hey to you indeed ^^

I can’t believe the story of Idianon and Jadeanon is still continuing… good for you, guys 💪😔

[sk-lumen]

Dear Lumen,

I have a pattern of dating red flags like I feel like a bull I see a red flag and go charging towards it. All my last relationships have been toxic and I Gaslight myself into thinking they are "nice guys "and put my mental health on life support. Most of them were leeches to my finances and were living double split lives i.e pretending to be nice to me and blackmailing other girls for sexual favours.

Where as the whole time when I had a gut feeling that something is fishy he kept gaslighting me and telling me if there is no trust there is no relationship while cheating on me since the second day we started dating. He was a pathological liar and a serial cheater who even showed me a video of him getting intimate with other girls

For once I am with a kind gentleman who cares about me and my career and is really calming to my nervous system. He goes above and beyond to work towards my growth and happiness plus bonus he shows up for me which is a major green flag

and yet I get bored and can't stop thinking about my toxic exes and how they did me wrong

I want to break free from this pattern and stop letting the past have a chock hold on me and I want nothing more than my current relationship to last. Please advise 🙏❤️

Hi darling,

I'm sorry to hear you went through all those things. I highly recommend starting therapy, combined with your own journaling and introspection.

I believe the only way to fix or overcome our patterns is through self-awareness, forgiveness and self-acceptance. You have to review your childhood, your family dynamic, past traumas and inner wounds - they have all helped shaped who you are today. That includes your taste in men, why you're drawn to certain partners, why you tolerate certain red flags, why you have anxious attachment style, etc.

Personally, with the help of therapy and journaling, I came to understand a lot of my patterns and why I am the way I am. Through understanding ourselves, we can shine a light on all those cracks and dark shadows that we bury in denial or shame, afraid to let anyone see them. But it's by becoming aware of them, understanding ourselves, forgiving ourselves (and our family or other people that influenced us negatively), that's how you come to change your habits and patterns.

You begin to understand that you're anxiously attached because you have an abandonment wound. The same reason you find it hard to walk away from a toxic partner.

You begin to understand you're attracted to toxic men that mistreat you, because they in some way resemble your masculine caretaker, and that's what's "familiar" to your brain and nervous system. But just because that was your past, doesn't have to define your present or your future. You can break the pattern. You can choose better.

And the reason why you have this healthy relationship but find it "boring" is the same reason.... because it's unfamiliar, your nervous system and mind is unaccustomed to it. You're used to danger, to thrills, to feeling unsafe and being on an emotional rollercoaster! But please understand this reaction is normal, and you need to intentionally hold on to this healthy relationship and nurture and protect it. Don't expect it to feel like those toxic ones, because it never will - that's the point of it, your nervous system feels calm. Don't sabotage everything just because toxic is familiar. Let those toxic exes go, pray for it if you have to, release them, block them.

Don't carry them with you still. Give yourself the chance of happiness and peace and safety in the arms of a healthy relationship.

Much love,

-Lumen