#Or: Don’t try this at home kids

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 169

Danny is from a world where everyone has wings, even if most have long since lost the ability to fly. Something about loading and aspect ratio, wings being too small, body too heavy, now mostly used as display, whatever. 

It doesn’t matter even if he had blueprints from when he was like six of a jetpack to help fly. It won’t work anyway and hey, he has his ghost form! Which uh, might be perhaps, affecting his wings which were maybe sort of scorched black and practically down to the bone thanks to the accident. 

It doesn’t matter, he swears. Though he’s admittedly relieved to see the new feathers growing in are different from Dan’s angry sunset. Even if they’re not even supposed to be able to grow back. Alright, this is fine, no one is going to notice! It’s not like everyone knows about the poor Fenton kid whose wings were absolutely destroyed thanks to an accident! It’s fine. 

He’s not flying in a half-panic towards the Far Frozen while crying because his wings are coming back and he’s so scared. He didn’t panic and instantly fled the moment Jazz pointed them out while changing the bandages. 

He definitely didn’t trip over something while wiping away said tears and blacking out from all the stress and all of his problems that he definitely mentioned to someone and isn’t keeping a secret. Definitely. 

Hawkwoman and Hawkman would like everyone to know that neither of them were expecting a very small child to be spat out of the villain of that week’s machine that should definitely not be a portal. A very small child, maybe nine or ten, with a multitude of concerning wounds both old and fresh. Which isn’t even beginning to touch on the wings. 

Feathered, like baby down despite the gnarled scars, unlike their own metallic, with the beginning of tiny specklings like stars amidst the darker fuzz peeking from the wounded flesh. 

Who?! Who dared?! It’s (at least to the forever reincarnating duo) a literal baby! They still have down! Tiny baby fuzz! Was it the portal?! Oh this villain is going to taste their maces for causing this if that’s the case! 

The rest of the Justice League would honestly like to know what just happened and are honestly unsure on if they should stop the two…

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[sgt-tombstone]

okay wait hear me out: Soap with a shaved asshole

BUT (wait, listen, hear me out)

Ghost is the one who shaves him, and he does it with a straight razor

semi-regularly, Johnny finds himself face down in a pillow, his ass in the air trying to stay as still as possible while Simon spreads his cheeks, lathering shaving cream in his ass crack, the knife-sharp edge of the razor pressed against his sensitive skin, hands holding the skin taut to avoid cutting him, giving him the smoothest shave he’s ever had, all so Simon can fuck him better

he spends the entire time nearly vibrating in place, trying to stay stock still so Simon doesn’t accidentally cut him, but his cock is hanging between his legs and every scrape of the razor on his skin has him twitching, trying to get friction, unsure if he wants to flinch away or press back into the razor’s edge in Simon’s hand

sometimes he swears that the shaving is more erotic than the sex that comes after

[lunarcrown]

Soggy veil bdubs with a shrugged off jacket bc ???????? He’s getting rain washed I guess

Also BONUS: some hermit reactions to said wet fella

[fizzytoo]

[karlee, softly] "Oh...you're just a boy."

[andrew]: "Uh, hi" [laughs, a little shy] "Actually, I'm sixteen."

[karlee]: "I had no idea. I-I'm sorry.You're just- wow, Amaya, he looks so much like me" [almost breathless]. Ah! Amaya's my sibling."

[andrew]: "R-Right! I'm glad you weren't…alone."

[karlee]: "and you? I mean, are you…alone?"

[andrew]: "After my mom-well. It's kinda just me."

[andrew]: "Me and eight other kids around my age."

[andrew] I kinda always knew who you were. It's just- I never knew the right time to reach out."

[andrew]: "What if you hated m-"

[someone out of frame, pounding angrily on the door]: "Hey! Lillian! I told you to leave my computer alone!"

[andrew]: "Shit. I'm finished, okay? Just-just hold on."

[andrew]: "I'm sorry. I have to go."

[kitshomeforwaywardsouls]

In Defense of the Criminal Minds “Spencer goes to prison” arc

Uh heads up for mention of drugs and death and stuff. Also this only applies to his actual time in prison and not all the weird shit that happens with Cat later cause I agree that situation is freakin weird.

I know some people aren’t fans of the prison arc but the scene where we see Reid make the conscious choice to contaminate the cocaine he is being forced to move is such an important look into his psyche for me.

Since the beginning Spencer has very much been an autistic-coded character if not explicitly so with an extremely strong sense of morality and justice. So to see him make an active choice to hurt people and probably get at least one if not multiple of them killed is a stark indicator of where he is mentally.

On a surface level this seems like a departure, a complete 180 of the character we’ve spent nearly 12 seasons getting to know. However, when you look at it through the lens of all his previous experiences it makes sense. Spencer Reid is a drug addict, we have to get that straight, it’s not a failure of his character or anyone else’s it is simply a fact. He fought long and hard to stay sober for nearly 10 years while arguably experiencing the most trauma on the show. All of this just to have it taken away like that without warning.

The Spencer we see in prison is probably the most scared and fragile we have ever seen him because he has had his autonomy brutally violated. At the same time this is happening he’s also experiencing what has been established as his worst nightmare. His memory is failing him. One of the one things we see him actually pride himself on is failing. Not only has he been attacked, drugged, and framed but he can’t remember any of it.

This, friends, is where we reach the meat of my little psychoanalysis. Spencer is alone. His mind -his greatest asset- has failed him and his autonomy has been stripped from him by someone he can’t even remember. He’s in survival mode in the simplest of terms. He has been presented to us as logical to a fault and now he has nothing else to fall back on but his logic and the instinct to survive no matter what. This is ultimately what drives him to behave the way he does during all of this, he’s effectively shut down except for those two things.

Furthermore this is why I believe that this arc doesn’t attempt to make Spencer “less autistic coded” but instead mirrors at least my experience as an autistic person in reaction to a dangerous or frightening environment. The whole event, however, makes me incredibly grateful for his moral compass because he is literally the “I know 200 ways to kill a man” guy and this feels like the shows way of reminding us how lucky we are he’s on our side.

[thatsbelievable]

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Something something trapped kid in a pipe at a home renovation and his older brother going in to save him Eddie and saving his sisters from their parents and Eddie reconstructing his life in the aftermath of Shannon…

[emily-mooon]

Can someone PLEASE just leak a photo of Jonathan I need to know if he’s safe so I can function for the rest of the wait for s5’s release

[novelconcepts]

There really aren’t words to describe the simple queer joy that is lounging on the couch shirtless after top surgery.

[platypusisnotonfire]

Im being so fr when i say any future hypothetical child of mine by age 13 should have a life I don’t know about.

I do NOT mean living a double life, I would do everything in my power to make sure my kid doesn’t feel the need for that.

I do NOT mean I’m gonna parentify my 13 year old and expect them to be independent. 13 is still a child.

I DO mean I am raising a person. Every single year I should be teaching them enough to take care of themselves at developmentally appropriate levels.

I know for a FACT a 13-year-old is capable of having a full time job and running a household (fact being me at age 13 becoming the “man of the house” and having to both work and figure out how to pay bills and taxes and all the grown up stuff)

Should they? ABSOLUTELY not. It caused psychological damage I’m still trying to undo.

My POINT being that there is a lot of intelectual capacity in a 13-year-old brain. If I’ve done my job correctly in training them at 1,2,3,4 years old etc, by age 13 they should be perfectly capable of going off to hang out with friends, explore the woods, explore the neighborhood, without me supervising or being involved at all.

By 13 my kids should be able to go off and have a Goonies or Stand By Me type excursion without me ever knowing about it. All the while knowing, to their bones, that if anything at all is ever Too Much for them or too scary or to complicated to understand, they could come to me with NO judgement on my part. I’m here to teach them how to human. Not to mold them into some parody of myself.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 180

Danny looked at Wes, and Wes looked at Danny, both of their eyes saying the exact same thing: What the fuck is even happening right now. 

Apparently they can be summoned. Apparently, a cult from a different dimension tried to summon something and got them instead. Apparently their bodies got shrunk, or de-aged or however one wanted to explain it. APPARENTLY, this universe has heroes, and apparently they seem to be their universe’s equivalent to two of the villains here. 

Honestly, these “Cheshire” and “Riddler” people couldn’t be that bad compared to the Fentons. What are the chances they’ve committed war crimes or joined a government branch to legally vivisect things? That’s right, no chance. Probably. 

They should probably leave the hero-people to their freakout and find a way home. 

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Me: this one will be a slow burn I think

Eddie Diaz: no actually i need to tell him i love him immediately

[lumi-of-the-universe]

Nitpicking being treated as a legitimate criticism is a really obnoxious way to approach most movies, but every year I’m reminded of how stupid an approach it is for Home Alone, a movie that deliberately counters pretty much every nitpick possible. Like if this is the movie you’re nitpicking, you didn’t pay attention

[itspileofgoodthings]

those Reddit asks like “what’s your least favorite Taylor lyric” just make me be like skill issue. yours not Taylor’s.

[criminalgays]

fantasy high junior year hell’s kitchen au when it’s. just hell’s kitchen but in elmville and gordon ramsey is exactly the same

instead of the events of fhjy, the rat grinders are the blue team and the bad kids are the red team. jawbone is the red team’s sous chef and porter is the blue team’s.

the rat grinders win the very first competition of the competition and then the bad kids win the rest.

kipperlily copperkettle gets so angry she turns red every time she has to do another punishment and sees the bad kids leaving hell’s kitchen for their reward.

the final is kipperlily vs kristen and kristen sweeps bc kipperlily tried to be too fancy and elaborate with her menu and ran out of time in prejudging and then her team couldn’t figure it out during dinner service