#Or just some fart noises >:o)

[daily-kotlc-sentence]

BOOK: Keeper of the Lost Cities

CHAPTER: One

(96/270)

They called her Curvebuster.

She finished her answer, and Mr. Sweeney grumbled something that sounded like “know-it-all” as he stalked off to the exhibit in the next room over. Sophie didn’t follow. The thin walls separating the two rooms didn’t block the noise, but they muffled it. She grabbed what little relief she could.

“Nice job, superfreak,” Garwin Chang—a boy wearing a T-shirt that said BACK OFF! I’M GONNA FART—sneered as he shoved past her to join their classmates. “Maybe they’ll write another article about you. ‘Child Prodigy Teaches Class About the Lame-o-saurus.’”

Garwin was still bitter Yale had offered her a full scholarship. His rejection letter had arrived a few weeks before.

Not that Sophie was allowed to go.

Her parents said it was too much attention, too much pressure, and she was too young. End of discussion.

So she’d be attending the much closer, much smaller San Diego City College next year—a fact some annoying reporter found newsworthy enough to post in the local paper the day before—CHILD PRODIGY CHOOSES CITY COLLEGE OVER IVY LEAGUE—complete with her senior photo. Her parents freaked when they found it. “Freaked” wasn’t even a strong enough word. More than half their rules were to help Sophie “avoid unnecessary attention.” Front-page articles were pretty much their worst nightmare. They’d even called the newspaper to complain.

The editor seemed as unhappy as they were. The story was run in place of an article on the arsonist terrorizing the city—and they were still trying to figure out how the mistake had happened. Bizarre fires with white-hot flames and smoke that smelled like burnt sugar took priority over everything. Especially a story about an unimportant little girl most people went out of their way to ignore.

Or, they used to.

Across the museum, Sophie caught sight of a tall, dark-haired boy reading yesterday’s newspaper with the embarrassing black-and-white photo of her on the front. Then he looked up and stared straight at her.

She’d never seen eyes that particular shade of blue before—teal, like the smooth pieces of sea glass she’d found on the beach—and they were so bright they glittered. Something flickered across his expression when he caught her gaze. Disappointment?

Before she could decide what to make of it, he shrugged off the display he’d been leaning against and closed the distance between them.

The smile he flashed belonged on a movie screen, and Sophie’s heart did a weird fluttery thing.

“Is this you?” he asked, pointing to the picture.

Sophie nodded, feeling tongue-tied. He was probably fifteen, and by far the cutest boy she’d ever seen. So why was he talking to her?

“I thought so.” He squinted at the picture, then back at her. “I didn’t realize your eyes were brown.”

“Uh . . . yeah,” she said, not sure what to say.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “No reason.”

Something felt off about the conversation, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. And she couldn’t place his accent. Kind of British, but different somehow. Crisper? Which bothered her—but she didn’t know why.

“Are you in this class?” she asked, wishing she could suck the words back as soon as they left her mouth. Of course he wasn’t in her class. She’d never seen him before. She wasn’t used to talking to boys—especially cute boys—and it made her brain a little mushy.

His perfect smile returned as he told her, “No.” Then he pointed to the hulking greenish figure they were standing in front of. An Albertosaurus, in all its giant, lizardesque glory. “Tell me something. Do you really think that’s what they looked like? It’s a little absurd, isn’t it?”

“Not really,” Sophie said, trying to see what he saw. It looked like a small T. rex: big mouth, sharp teeth, ridiculously short arms. Seemed fine to her. “Why? What do you think they looked like?”

He laughed. “Never mind. I’ll let you get back to your class. It was nice to meet you, Sophie.”

He turned to leave just as two classes of kindergartners barreled into the fossil exhibit. The crushing wave of screaming voices was enough to knock Sophie back a step. But their mental voices were a whole other realm of pain.

Kids’ thoughts were stinging, high-pitched needles—and so many at once was like an angry porcupine attacking her brain. Sophie closed her eyes as her hands darted to her head, rubbing her temples to ease the stabbings in her skull. Then she remembered she wasn’t alone.

She glanced around to see if anyone noticed her reaction and locked eyes with the boy. His hands were at his forehead, and his face wore the same pained expression she imagined she’d had only a few seconds before.

“Did you just . . . hear that?” he asked, his voice hushed.

She felt the blood drain from her face.

He couldn’t mean . . .

It had to be the screaming kids. They created plenty of racket on their own. Shrieks and squeals and giggles, plus sixty or so individual voices chattering away.

Voices.

She gasped and took another step back as her brain solved her earlier problem.

She could hear the thoughts of everyone in the room. But she couldn’t hear the boy’s distinct, accented voice unless he was speaking.

His mind was totally and completely silent.

She didn’t know that was possible.

“Who are you?” she whispered.

His eyes widened. “You did—didn’t you?” He moved closer, leaning in to whisper. “Are you a Telepath?”

She flinched. The word made her skin itch.

And her reaction gave her away.

“You are! I can’t believe it,” he whispered.

Sophie backed toward the exit. She wasn’t about to reveal her secret to a total stranger.

“It’s okay,” he said, holding out his hands as he moved closer, like she was some sort of wild animal he was trying to calm. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m one too.”

Sophie froze.

“My name’s Fitz,” he added, stepping closer still.

Fitz? What kind of a name was Fitz?

She studied his face, searching for some sign that this was all part of a joke.

“I’m not joking,” he said, like he knew exactly what she was thinking.

Maybe he did.

She wobbled on her feet.

She’d spent the past seven years wishing she could find someone else like her—someone who could do what she could. Now that she’d found him, she felt like the world had tilted sideways.

He grabbed her arms to steady her. “It’s okay, Sophie. I’m here to help you. We’ve been looking for you for twelve years.”

Twelve years? And what did he mean by “we”?

Better question: What did he want with her?

The walls closed in and the room started to spin.

Air.

She needed air.

She jerked away and bolted through the door, stumbling as her shaky legs found their rhythm.

She sucked in giant breaths as she ran down the stairs in front of the museum. The smoke from the fires burned her lungs and white bits of ash flew in her face, but she ignored them. She wanted as much space between her and the strange boy as possible.

“Sophie, come back!” Fitz shouted behind her.

She picked up her pace as she raced through the courtyard at the base of the steps, past the wide fountain and over the grassy knolls to thesidewalk. No one got in her way—everyone was inside because of the poor air quality. But she could still hear his footsteps gaining on her.

“Wait,” Fitz called. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

She ignored him, pouring all her energy into her sprint and fighting the urge to glance over her shoulder to see how far back he was. She made it halfway through a crosswalk before the sound of screeching tires reminded her she hadn’t looked both ways.

Her head turned and she locked eyes with a terrified driver struggling to stop his car before it plowed right over her.

She was going to die.

[emmyrosee]

HI HI HI I came up with this one when I was in a superrrrr giggly mood and I’ve been saving it up in my little notes thing so I hope you enjoy Suna 2 hehe <3 (and it’s fitting bc I’m in a mood similar to that again now 😭)

BUT ANYWAY!!!!

Suna sending you pictures from his camera roll/more texts/making you laugh in general in situations you shouldn’t be laughing (like a lecture or something). words, inside jokes, memes that he just KNOWS are going to fuel the fire. He will watch you struggle to hold in a laugh with tears in your eyes when someone calls you out with the fondest look on his face (which he’ll try to hide ofc cause he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s part of the issue, the little shit)??? He’ll push it to the point where you can’t even look at him for the rest of whatever it is you’re doing without immediately having to look away in order to not make a scene. God forbid you guys are sitting NEXT to each other, he’s going to make your life a living hell. He’s less likely to do it when you two are sitting together, actually, cause he has less self control and will probably end up wheezing too. At least from across the room he can hide his amusement and the most emotion that comes through is his stupid little smirk. (it doesn’t have to be this setting, this man will literally make sure to do it in the WORST possible situations for you bc he’s nothing if not a menace who wants to see his baby loosen up a bit bc of him)

But honestly he just loves to make you laugh and seeing you lose control like that just makes him so soft. Later, when you’re annoyed with him for making you suffer like that (even if you both know it was incredibly funny) he will gladly cuddle you as an apology. And if you’re willing, he’ll show you a couple other things he had in his arsenal to hear your laughter clearly this time (in whatever form you see fit!!)

anon <3

ISNSOSNSOSNOSKS S T O P MY BESTIE AND I LITERALLY HAVE THIS ONE MEME I SENT HER, AND DEADASS WELL BE IN A WORK MEETING AND INSTANTLY JUST START CACKLIGN SOENDOENOS-

But honestly like. He is the absolute worst.

Because okay. Like, rintaro knows when it’s not time to fuck around because it’s serious (which is like. 0.003% of the time you’re together, other times you’ll just swat the shit out of him-) but he considers any other time free game, because he can see the way your shoulders tense, or the way you gnaw at your lip, or dig at your cuticles, and he hates to see you like that.

So. Like any other menace, he sends the worst kinds of things at the worst kind of times.

One time, you were out with some friends who were just kind of like, not engaging with you, so when you texted Rin to tell him you were bored, he immediately sends this tiktok, and it has you choking on your drink.

A few weeks ago, his family was having a little get together, and despite having been together for years, you still sometimes get a little shaky around his family, so, naturally, as you’re talking to his aunts and mother, he sends you this meme, and it makes you snort aloud.

It has his poor aunts chuckling awkwardly, and you scowl because you know damn well in the hammock seat three yards away, some dickhead with a middle part is snickering victoriously.

Even yesterday, when you were getting ready to leave, you slipped and fell on your ass, and a few hours later, you got this tiktok sent to you, and it had you tearing up to hide your laughter at work.

And it’s like. Healthy, because once you start firing back at him, the two of you going out just becomes an absolute mess of laughter and wheezing and the occasional annoyed look but tf they looking at, they’re just jealous-

This tiktok in particular almost got you kicked out of a restaurant from a few noise complaints, mainly from his snorts.

And even if it’s not always appreciated, it’s always from a good place. And that’s what makes it special; be it something dumb like fart noises, or cat pictures, it’s always something he knows is going to make you lose your mind in the best way he thinks you need it.

Of course it is best to see him nudging for your attention when you pretend to be mad about it.

“I know you laughed,” he whined, tugging at your shirt. “Come onnnnn, we got yelled at together!”

“It was embarrassing,” you grumble.

“You’re already dating me, how much more embarrassing could you think this gets?”

That, to your dismay, gives him another snort, and now that he knows you’re not actually upset, he leans over to nuzzle his head against your cheeks and neck, “you can’t resist me and you know it.”

“I hate you so much,” you scoff, trying to shrink your shoulders to get his face away, “and fuck off with the ears and neck shit!”

“I thought you liked when I whispered in your ear,” he teases, despite knowing you, in fact, have extremely mixed feelings about said action.

And sure, when you shove him off the bed to get away from him and it sparks a whole new round of play fighting, both of you know it’ll end with your head on his chest, his slender fingers gently rubbing up and down your back while his other hand shows you the knew chaos on his for you page.

It’s a cycle at this point.

And you’re fairly sure it’s not one he’s looking to break anytime soon 🥺💖

[emotionally-creative-rogue]

DOMINATION LINES!!

THANK YOU @caramelcheesegay FOR COMING UP WITH 90% OF THESE, ILY<333

DOMINATED:

Scout:

-“Can’t stun me if you can’t hit me! I’m a freakin’ blur, dipshit!”

-“I am ALWAYS gonna dodge that. When will you LEARN, man?”

-“Oh, oh, oh! I’m STUNNED at how bad you’re doin’!”

Soldier:

-“Don’t swing your puny stick at me, maggot! You come from fake America!!!”

-“I AM IMPERVIOUS TO ALL OF YOUR ATTACKS, SYRUP-SLURPER!”

-“Get off the battlefield and go play some hockey, weakling!”

Demo:

-“Aye, I bet you thought it’d be easy ta kill me, didn’t’che? Well, iaarrghhnnn *snore*.”

-“You call tha’ a grenade?? Me blind Mum farts worse than that wee thing!” 

-“Don’ come a’ me in those ghoulish boots lad, I’ll blast ‘em right offa yer feet!” 

Engie:

-“You’re just a little piece a’ sentry fodder now, aren’t’cha?”

-“You make for some real shitty target practice, son.”

-“Tell me ‘bout those stun grenades sometime, yeah?”

Heavy:

-“Ha! Leetle bug man is crushed. Like bug. Leetle bug. Feed you to Archimedes, Buggy.”

-“Small jumpy man- not Scout? There are two small jumpy men???”

-“You think loud noise and bright light are enough to take down Heavy??? I am killing you now!!”

Medic:

-“Oohoo! Free organs! Young, too!”

-“Ach, that reminds me- I need to feed my birds.”

-“Ohhh, sorry little boy! Go play with your crayons, ja?”

Sniper:

-“Piss off, y’ jumpy git. Bloody grasshopper…”

-“Awh, get quicker next time, won’tcha?” 

-“Dead like a ‘roo on the side o’ the road!”

Spy:

-“For someone named ‘The Rogue’, you are certainly a pack thinker.”

-“Oho! I am *stunned* by your lack of skill!”

-“Not so *Dexx*trous now, hm?”

DOMINATING:

Scout: 

-“No runnin’ in the halls, freshman!”

-“Bonk? More like thonk, eh? ‘Cause that’s the sound your hollow head makes when I hit ya!” 

-“Hah! Too slow!” 

Soldier: 

-“Y'know, a 3" piece of rubber can do a lotta damage, Trench Monkey!”

-“Hah! Oh, I mean- I'm sooo soooorey aboot tha', Bud! (snicker)”

-“A cat on a sloped roof is braver than the entire U.S. Military, Booklicker!” 

Pyro: 

-“Ack! Sorry, Firecracker!” 

-“Oh shit, I think I’m still on fire. Damn it, these were my favorite pants!” 

-“Hey we're, uh, still on for s'mores later... right?”

Demo:

-“Pen's mightier than the sword, cyclops! Get it? 'Cause I'm an artist and you- yeah, nevermind”

-“Someone must have put a little sleepy sauce in your mickeys, bud, ‘cause you are NOT on top of it today!” 

-“Smile and wait for the flash!” 

Heavy:

-“Somebody order ten thousand pounds a’ dead weight? (Snort)” 

-“It’s really hard to miss your pressure points, y’know.” 

-“Move it, ya big lug! You’re in the way!” 

Engineer: 

-“GRENAAAAAADE! I WIN! Ya proud of me, da-uhhh.. dude?” 

-“See ya round, Daaaeengie! I said Engie. Short for Engineer. That is you. You are- I’ll go.” 

-“Bam! And another one down, and another one down! ANOTHER ONE BITES THE BO STAFF!!” 

Medic: 

-“oohohoh, Maybe I can try some experiments on you this time!- Y'know, put your lessons to good use!”

-“Doc, you seriously gotta take care of your health. Damn hypocrite... (Mocking voice) 'Do az I say, not az I do!' my ass!”

-“Guess that's what happens when you don't follow your own advice, thanks for the hands-on lesson!”

Sniper:

-“There, away from the noise now! Just how you like it, Dee!”

-“You may wink at your opponents, but ya gotta take the shot as well, y'know! Can't charm 'em to death!”

-“I just... un-cozied your... camper. I'm having a bad day please be nice.”

Spy:

-“Crisse de connard! -Aheh, not used to gettin' berated in your own language, eh?”

-“Va te faire foutre, merde de con!”

-“Bein Tabarnak, it feels good to turn the tables! Hah, deserved!”

Taunt ideas:

-Using the Bo-Staff as a microphone

-Using the bo-staff as a rifle(making fun of sniper)

-Juggling the stun grenades, almost dropping one and catching it in time before glancing around to see if anyone saw him and putting them away again

OCS:

DOMINATED:

Strat (@emotionally-stressed-strategist):

-“How are you this bad? I’m dominating you with a PEN, Rogue, A PEN.” 

-“Rock, skull. Man down.” 

-“One less dot on the map- don’t come back, yeah?”

Arrow (@emotionally-dead-archer):

-"Hah! Gotcha! Oh, gotta love a little sibling rivalry, am I right?"

-“Bigger sibling? Not really.”

-“Hey! My aim is getting better! Thanks for the target practice!”

DOMINATING:

Strat:

-“I’m done bein’ your wingman if you keep this up.”

-“That’s what happens when you steal my art supplies!”

-“How do you still not have ink poisoning? Dude, seriously.”

Arrow:

-“There! I make for a pretty good role model! You get to see my stuff first-hand!”

-“You're adopted. Sorry.”

-“I think it's almost bedtime, kiddo.”

Jet (@emotionally-broken-robot):

-"Hey, uh, does this count as Softwaregore?"

[oodlyenough]

immediate doctor who thoughts before i dive into tags/etc. spoilers for space babies and devil's chord:

both kind of mixed bags for me, where i had fun and was enjoying myself but no immediate no-qualms super faves. i preferred devil's chord for being a bit more dramatic over space babies being a bit too silly

space babies:

a bit too silly for me, although i find it objectively hilarious that RTD has heard a decade plus of criticism of farting aliens and was like "lmao watch THIS"

i did prefer this brief commentary on abortion to kill the moon lmfao

15 and ruby are super fun together, ruby jives into the companion role well and easily, old news by now haha but ncuti gatwa is a great fit for the doctor

the AI program run amok creating a bogeyman plot was neat i thought, like, conceptually, lol

felt a bit unresolved? like where is that thing going... to the refugee planet? is it ACTUALLY dangerous or just scary?

assumed they were going to reveal it was 'just scary (looking)' but it wasn't with the babies at the end lol

i have no clue what the status of the time lords is now -- another genocide?? when?? -- but also i don't care, god bless, love and light xoxo

some parts of this ep i felt like i had to just nod and remind myself they're treating it almost like a pilot episode

def some familiar beats with end of the world, rose seeing earth, calling home, etc. i prefer EOTW as an episode alas

devil's chord

liked this one a lot more, for like. 95% of it

couldn't afford licensed music LOL

ruby's theme on the piano is great

really enjoyed maestro as a villain! and i am interested in all the toymaker, giggle, pantheon stuff

caught the giggle noise right away and was :O

also i'm sure 1000 people pointed it out in the tags but for the record i did immediately clock the billboard for "chris waites and the commanders" -> "the one who waits" -> big bad hint. exciting

loved all the sort of... surreal playing with environment stuff the gods(??) are able to do, it adds a lot more tension and stuff to the ep and lets the show have fun. i think the supernatural, myth angle is going to be fun

susan reference! aw

'june or july 2024' lool they had no idea what the release window was gonna be huh

the 5% i didn't enjoy very much was the "twist ending". i like musicals! i was hyped for a musical ep! but that was... ??

overall season:

8 episodes is so short! but i guess it does allow them to really hone in on this ruby, toymaker, snow, myth mystery stuff. 15 and ruby have a great vibe and i'm looking forward to the rest

[charleslee-valentine]

Hand in hand, two little boys walk down the dusty Texas backroads.

They’re almost identical, except the boy with the wine colored birthmark across his left cheek has his choppy hair in a tiny braid, while his slightly taller brother, who is like his mirrored opposite, has his dark brown hair hanging loose and messy.

The tiny baby they carry with them, in an old potato sack with straps attached and holes cut in it for his legs, looks almost the same, though his hair curls are different, and his top lip permanently curls up to show his gums and budding little teeth.

Just the three of them are running away from home.

It’s hot, but it’s always that way out here in the middle of nowhere Texas, even in the pitch darkness they’re currently navigating. The twins have grown used to it, their priority mostly giving the baby a bit of water on his head every now and again to keep him cool.

That, and one of them, the twin that walks a little more stiffly, and carries a knife with him everywhere, just in case, his goal is to make sure they aren’t being followed.

Every few feet he turns and walks backwards, looking behind them at the long and dark stretch of road.

“Y-You sure does wor-worry a lot, there Nu-Nubbins.” The shorter brother chimes out of nowhere, though that’s not to say that he’s been quiet before per se. He’s been humming and singing and laughing at nothing the whole way, noises the way he shows his excitement.

The one called Nubbins speaks fast and frantic, like he’s desperate to be understood, “C-C’a’int help it, Bobby. A-Ain’t ya scare..scared?”

“Nope.” Is Bobby’s simple reply, his nose turned up high in the air with confidence that has his brother jogging for a moment to keep up with.

It embarasses Nubbins, to think that maybe he’s the problem. His twin is his idol, and he wants nothing more than to be like him. His little brain rationalizes that there’s got to be a reason why they feel differently, “It’s.. it’s cause you ain’t c-carryin’ the baby.”

But Bobby misunderstands what he means, “Yer’ scared ‘a lit-little B-Bubba?”

Nubbins takes it personally, bad at reading tone, especially over the sound of all the darned cicadas and crickets and katydids chirping away in the fields and trees they walk past.

“I w-wish you weren’t so me-mean to..t-to me.”

And now, caught in a cycle, Bobby takes that personally.

“H-Hey now listen p-pipsqueak. I ain’t mean. I-I’m the best brother. Th-The best.”

If it wasn’t for baby Bubba snoozing on Nubbins’ chest in the homemade bag, he’d have turned and started picking a fight with his brother. Meanness and hatred and spite are all they know. Bloodshed and mayhem and hiding under the bed from their big brother. Squeezing their eyes shut and crying so so quietly while they listen to their twin being beaten just across the room, or down the hall. It didn’t matter. Violence was everywhere.

It’s why they’re leaving now. Nubbins feels kind of bad for thinking about tearing out Bobby’s hair in patches, or biting him on the arm, or kneeing him in the chest over and over and over ‘til he coughed up blood. Actually, really bad.

He looks over at Bobby, with his balled up fists, and reaches out with words, tries to make a connection from a different place, ‘cause he loves his twin. “Can..can you t-tell me what I-I oughta do?”

Bobby doesn’t need guilt to change his mind, he needs to vent. He kicks some dust up and punches the air for a minute, and then he answers all calmly, “‘Bout what?”

“I ‘unno. D-Don’ want Drayton t’ fi..find us.” Nubbins worries aloud. Usually he isn’t this nervous, usually he loves adventures! But this one is extra scary, and they’re only so small, and-

Bobby doesn’t share his fears.

“A-As if! You..You ‘n me both knows ‘at o-old fart won’ e-even know we’re g-gone ‘til tomorrow mor..mornin’ at least.”

“O-Oh alright… But..but if we get in tr-trouble I’m’a gonna be r-real ma-mad at’cha.” Nubbins threatens, a smile growing on his face as relief sets in. If Bobby says things will be okay, then they will. He just knows it.

“Deal.” Bobby agrees to accept his brother's future fury, quickly forgetting the topic and moving on to his next subject of interest, “Gimme..gimme Bubba!”

Happily. Nubbins takes off the makeshift baby carrier and helps his twin get into it, loosening the straps since Bobby’s got slightly bigger shoulders. Drayton always said that he was a parasite and sucked all of Nubbins’ life away when they were in mama’s womb.

Drayton would swear, with his fists or a broomstick raised up over his head, that that’s why he was so weak.

They work together to get the baby carrier in place, by now Bubba awake in there and reaching his chubby little hands up for attention. Bobby heaves him up by his diapered bottom and exclaims, “Shee-oot, B-Bubba’s gettin’ he-heavy!”

It reminds Nubbins of something else their big brother used to say. He was always commenting on Bubba's weight or making mean faces when the baby would steal a little fistful of food. That was always too mean for Nubbins. The baby was just that. A baby! Just a little six month old guy!

He loves him, almost as much as he loves Bobby, and wants to take care of him.

There’s just one problem. “How.. How we gon’ f-feed ‘im?”

Bobby thinks about it, skipping excitedly when an idea hits him, “I-I know! He-He really likes th-them funny lookin’ p-purple berries that grows by.. behind the gas station! O-On them little bush-bushes! A-An’ Drayton’s always s-sayin’ ~get the-them things out yer’ m-mouth boy!~ an’ make-makes Bubba spit em’ out! B-B-But we can fee-feed ‘im as many as..as he wants!!”

All that rambling inspires Nubbins.

They’ve gotten this far, why not! It’s up to them to seize fate and leave behind their isolated farmhouse. They won’t let little Bubba hurt the way they have.

“Y-Yeah alright!! Just.. jus’ gotta f-find some!”

“I-I th-think ther’s some dow-down by the str-stream!!” Bobby remembers, taking his brother by the hand, and taking off running.

[ketchappu]

wwww your lil gecko is so cute!!!!! got any tips u wish you'd known before getting a gecko/things you've learned?? :O

[ID: A photo of Bowser, a yellow leopard gecko with a few spots on his head, half in a hide in his enclosure, staring right at the camera. His pupils are slits in his grey eyes. A little fake leaf is seen above his head. End ID.]

YES! I do have stuff to say about getting a leo for the first time.

First of all, they all have distinct personalities and tastes, far more than what the general public expects from a reptile. They have tastes that can change during their lives, and many moods. You can prepare all you want but you will have to adapt to your gecko's wants and needs! Mine hates the texture of moss so I had to change my plans for his humid hide, he hates worms so I had to get roaches (you get used to it and mealworms are actually a lot less healthy anyway). I made a whole ass castle in polystyrene so he could have "Bowser's castle" as a hide in the terrarium, except I didn't account for his little claws scratching against it and making noise... He fucking hated it and the castle had to GO day one as well. Bowser's castle is now a coconut hide he loves to death.

In the same vein, do NOT make unmovable parts in your terrarium. I made some hides out of expanding foam and they are stuck to the sides and a pain in the ass, now. You want something that can be taken apart easily, especially when you never know which part of the terrarium your geck will elect as their toilets.

Second, their health: wild types are the sturdiest because they have the less inbreeding. You want to handle your gecko semi regularly at the very least, you don't have to get him out everyday for 2 hours but do handle him enough so you can do check ups and spot any issues demanding a vet's attention. Monitoring them frequently is super important because geckos, as most reptiles, only really show signs of illness when it's already pretty advanced. So tracking their weight, their skin color and looseness, any weird spots or tiny wound/scab, is very important.

Knowing the basics about common health issues, the nutrients they need, and what constitues a good alimentation for them, is super important but often overlooked. It's not because it's a pretty hardy and indeoendant reptile that you can just do whatever. Be informed and most importantly attentive to your geck.

I'm not listing all the little (positive) surprises i got while living with him because I think discovering them by yourself is a great joy! But geckos yawn in the cutest way, they also rip ass and you wouldn't believe how something so tiny created a fart so toxic, they can chirp and have small armpits, their little hands are pink on the bottom, they have 100 minuscule teeth that tou will never see and express a lot with their tails, they are so awesome and funny to have around. I love mine to death!

[tooti-fruiti]

GLITZ AND GLAMOR [CHAPTER 4]

Sans and Papyrus

You held your arms together because you walked into a forest covered in snow somehow.

At this point you knew better than to question it.

You walked forward in the show, shivering.

You stepped over a giant stick and walking a few feet ahead of it.

You heard a loud boom and turned around.

The stick was smashed.

Something was here with you, and it knew you were here.

You carried on forward, trying to make as little noise as you possible could.

When you were about to step over a gate, you stopped.

You heard snow crunching footsteps behind you.

You were frozen in fear, you couldn't move.

" h u m a n . "

" d o n ' t

y o u

k n o w

h o w

t o

g r e e t

a

n e w

p a l ? "

" t u r n

a r o u n d

a n d

s h a k e

m y

h a n d . "

You slowly turned around, not wanting to upset the person behind you.

You closed your eyes out of fear and held out your hand.

You felt a cold boney hand touch your fingers.

And when it grabbed your hand, you felt something squishy and heard a loud fart noise.

You opened your eyes and jumped back in surprise.

In front of you was a skeleton about your height laughing at the prank it just pulled, wearing a blue hoodie, black basketball shorts, and pink slippers.

"ah the ol' whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's always funny." He said.

He smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

"anyways, i'm sans. sans the skeleton. i'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now."

You grew worried.

"but uh y'know. i don't really care about capturing anybody."

You sighed a breath of relief.

Sans laughed. "sorry kid, didn't mean to spook you."

"however, my brother papyrus, he's a human hunting fanatic. hey, let's go across this bridge thingy my bro's right over there."

"Wait! I don't want to go over there if he's over there!" You said.

"eh, don't worry. i'll hide ya. go behind that conveniently shaped lamp."

Sans pointed at a lamp and it was shaped exactly like you.

How convenient.

"SANS!" You heard a high pitched voice yell as you hid behind the lamp.

You stayed still.

"sup bro?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S "SUP" BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!"

As the voice carried on talking, you began to assume that this voice was Papyrus, sans's brother.

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I HAVE TO CAPTURE A HUMAN! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE!"

"THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT! RECOGNITION!"

"hmm. maybe this lamp will help." Sans said.

Papyrus groaned. "SANS HOW COULD A LAMP HELP MY HUMAN PROBLEM, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A HUMAN BEHIND IT!"

You froze.

"totally not."

"EXACTLY! THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS!"

You never felt so relieved before.

"AND YOU'RE NOT MUCH HELP EITHER. ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!"

What's a boondoggle?

"YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERYDAY!"

"hey, take it easy bro. i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton."

"SANS!"

Ugh. Not dad jokes.

"what? that one was funny!"

"IT WAS AND I HATE IT!"

Papyrus groaned again.

"WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TI GET SOME RECOGNITION?!"

"damn bro. sounds like you're working yourself...to the bone."

"UGH! I'M LEAVING!"

"OH! AND ONE MORE THING, PUT A LITTLE MORE...BACKBONE IN YOUR WORK!"

Papyrus laughed a weird "nyeh heh heh" laugh and ran away.

"nice one bro!" Sans called out.

Sans chuckled. "okay you can come out now, kid."

You slowly reappeared from the lamp.

"Is he gone?" You asked.

Sans nodded. "He's gone."

You sighed and sat down on a rock.

"Thanks, Sans."

"eh it's not trouble. say, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure." You said.

"my brother has never seen a human before and seeing you might just make his day."

"What if he like...I don't know...managed to capture me or something?" You said.

"don't worry. he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

"Sure, I can do it then."

"thanks a million." Sans said. "i'll be up ahead."

Sans then jumped up, and a bright light flashed and suddenly sans was gone.

You stared at where he was, confused.

Where did he go?

(Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day)

<- Chapter three

Chapter five->

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 554, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) hit and run pedestrian accident, precipitous labor, neonatal death, abandoned baby

WORDS: 1444

“It stinks in here!”

I roused with a soft groan, finding my husband up and doing his morning workout by using Baby Mattie and Baby Teddy as weights.

“Did you have a massive fart party last night?” Katie hacked, Elizabeth coming into the room with a funny look on her face, crossing over to open the window more to try and air out the room a little bit.

“Sorry mo stór,” I yawned, sitting up and stretching my arms up over my head. “Did you kids sleep well last night?”

Baby Tommy toddled two steps into the room, his face scrunching up in clear disgust before he turned back around and toddled right back out of the room.

“My love, I think we’ll need to call for housekeeping while we’re out today, yeah?” I giggled, excusing myself to get ready for the day ahead of us.

I reemerged, dressed in black jeans and a green turtleneck sweater, finding Elizabeth still surveying the stinky room with a pensive look on her face.

“What’s on your mind, Elizabeth?” I asked me, popping by the giant mirror on the back of the door to swipe some ChapStick onto my lips.

“Mommy, did you and daddy have sex last night?”

The ChapStick went from my lips onto my nose at her startling question.

“What prompts this question now?” My face was calm, but my mind was screaming incoherently.

Elizabeth just shrugged, her face bright red as she avoided my eyes, leaning into my motherly embrace when I held my arm open for her. I was panicking inside- were Peter and I too loud last night, and oh god were we cussing way too loudly among other such thoughts.

"I heard moaning and screaming and cussing and got a bit worried and confused," Elizabeth confessed in a bashful tone of voice. “So when I crept up to the door and peeked through it, you were on top of daddy, groaning and making all kinds of weird noises.”

Oh

“Do you want to go out on a walk?” I asked her, sending her off into the bedroom that she shared with Katie and Baby Tommy while I grabbed my backpack and shoes. “My love, Elizabeth and I are going out on a mommy and me walk, okay? We’ll meet you and Katie and the babies in the mess hall, alright?”

I let my daughter take the reins on where she wanted to go, and we eventually ended up in the pool room.

“So… what do you want to know?” I felt a bit awkward at giving her a deeper explanation of the bird and bees, Peter and I having already briefly educated her after she had bravely defended the family from my childhood rapist. She only shrugged, taking a seat onto the concrete, removing her shoes and socks and rolling up her pants to stick them into the water. “Elizabeth, you know sex isn’t really a taboo subject. Have you ever known me to judge others harshly?”

“I don’t know what I want to ask,” she muttered as I followed her motions, taking a seat next to her and leaving enough room between the both of us to where Elizabeth wouldn’t feel smothered.

“That is perfectly okay,” I validated her. “How about you ask me anything you want, in whatever order you want? We can do rapid fire, if that suits you better.”

“Is sex painful?” Elizabeth still wasn’t looking at me.

“It can be, yes, but when you’re with someone who you trust wholeheartedly, they’ll make sure that you feel no pain.” I hummed softly, giving her my hand to play with my fingers.

“Do babies result from sex?” was her next question.

“Sometimes yes, sometimes no, most times, it takes multiple rounds of coitus for a baby to blossom in the woman’s womb,” I explained, hoping I wasn’t confusing her.

“Did you and Mr. Aaron have sex? Is that how little girl came to be?” she asked me next.

Ah.

“No, not like that. Aaron gave the doctor some of his sperm, and she injected that into me.” I nibbled at the inside of my cheek, hoping that I was making sense. “Normally, a doner’s eggs is added into the mayhem, but Mr. Aaron and Mr. James and I had decided that they would use my egg to make a baby. They felt weird about not knowing who the mother would be.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth looked a little bit confused, but still she pressed on in her quest for knowledge. “So sometimes, it takes more than one try to get the woman pregnant?”

“Sometimes it does, yes,” I confirmed with a hum. “But your father and I have been extremely lucky- it took less than half a dozen rounds for me to get pregnant each time.”

“What happens if you can’t keep the baby or if something happens during the nine months to affect the growth?” Elizabeth asked next.

“There are two options for dealing with unwanted pregnancies- one is adoption, but the downside to that is that you’ll still be pregnant and will probably form a bond with the baby while they’re growing,” I explained. “The second option is an abortion, which terminates the pregnancy, but you need to seek out a professional to perform the procedure within the first four months timeframe.”

“Have you ever had an abortion?” she questioned next, kicking little ripples in the pool.

“Yes, I did.” I couldn’t hide the pain in my voice as my hand curled around my womb. “When I was eleven, after Eric raped me. My mom sought out an abortion specialist, who told me that I had a stomach flu. I was given a pill and that was that.”

“So you didn’t know that you were pregnant?” Elizabeth’s blue hazel eyes were wide with sympathy. “When did you find out?”

“Not until I was well into high school,” I confessed. “I suppose mom didn’t want to traumatize me any more than I already was.”

“Oh.” Here, I glanced to the side at where she was gently tracing the omega soulmark on my left fist. “And you were going to abort Baby Tommy if he wasn’t daddy’s.”

Crap.

“I spoke while I was emotional, I could never.” Here, I sucked in a shaky breath on air in through my nose and out through my mouth. “That fucking pig scarred me, inside and out. Prior to meeting my soulmate, I was happy to be single, not knowing that it wouldn’t be for the rest of my life.”

We both fell into a very pregnant silence.

“Mommy? If sex causes babies, then why are you not pregnant more often than not?” I chuckled at the confused look on her face.

“Your daddy wears a condom, it’s like a latex sweater that stops his cum from being shot off inside of me.” I appreciated Elizabeth trusting me enough to ask me these awkward questions, and so I was treating her as though she was an equal to me. “It’s much like a gardening glove- the condom keeps me safe from impregnation.”

“Oh,” she said again, beginning to sound like a stuck record.

“Besides, your father had a vasectomy, which is surgery done to render a man sterile,” I broke it down with another soft hum. "Now, do you have any other questions? Lay them onto me!"

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a

[the-firebird69]

We're going to the process and we are part way through it for enacting the laws. And he says that his group is going through it and I say this I don't want to hear this ever again but his group is going through with it they're tired of waiting for approval but he says we have tons of power they're going to have to catch up and I don't want to die because I'm going to sit there like to do before they got really mad and said you're right it would do it now. It's right this returns are on their way out and we need a system right now and we're lagging behind like with everything else it's annoying as hell so I'm pretty out there now that systems are too and acts their own laws at this time similar to Frank Castle Hardcastle Duke and Blockbuster Hera and Zeus and myself and my cadre my race are and that you should not wait for Olympus cuz we're all sitting around farting and it really is due to them being huge that group is gigantic and we're smart and you're not doing it so I'm sending it now I'm getting some notes we're doing it and where do we get and the third one so so foxy on time. Size 3 in and I verified it's true they're doing it and four. He talks to Apollo and said it's your job this is what you should be doing as a job and he says I know why too so you got up today in the meeting and he said he's under master to rest and he can't help but it's doing insane but now he is and he's telling us like it is and if we don't exist we're in trouble and he said I'm enacting mine. And they're all for our law and they're submitting their plans and they're going forwards with it. And so I have around 7 out of the 10 great powers and the other three is sending those in and others will follow they say so I need to wait and see if they do and we can have a meeting about these that have submitted and they're going forward with it now so we're going to sit down and make sure that there's a couple was everybody so the ones who haven't submitted to see them and make sure they have that they really haven't and we're going to have that meeting now.

Thor

You did this pod stuff and we're doing it out in the community and we got a lot of calls one of those things here for why do they fighting around and you said I don't care what the results are we have to do that all over the realm and now because it's doing the effects we want it's our people so we headed innocent before is it patrols and he said what for instantly looking for infiltrators, debris can you have a program called Spaceballs other programs too interstellar more and chimpanzees bugs and so the grossed out and we're saying we're looking over here cuz we just texted something on with you and they said how can we trust what you're doing and it sounds weird and stuff. Everything he needs help and then says why are we doing this here and it made sense and a lot of people signing up because of doing the run regular patrols and he wants to see a big ship of her once in a while and make the noise and you won't see it this is going to happen tested it and works great what we really need to have all those outposts and manning up and put it in the hardware it's working

Freya

We're having the time of our life now this is tough on us very isolated and stuff like he's getting it done I'm proud of my husband

Hera

I understand what you're saying couldn't do this with criminally negative and it's because of the Denver parameters and studies that people of time and we don't have any more time and we also can't afford it from both sides and said that in the letter and she referenced oh how materials and we said this it is time to do that and we do see the right and the laws are going to stick. The meeting now is a great idea we're not too tired we're going to have some rejuvenate things and we are going to listen to each other's ideas and when I know you're saying is we want everybody to agree on each other's systems to a point where we will see that they're not going to be harmful to each other and I'm pretty much come the same and we want to work on coming up with a treaty of some kind and we already have one it was pretty extensive but it doesn't address this and you said we should make an amendment or an attachment we're going to do it that way there's no reason to do it people are in love again. Sometimes to tell you your car is a pain you better write this time and what you're saying is we're going to be sending people to make sure that people are doing it because it is against the law for us to allow this situation to continue it reduces our defense status of it is a crime to knowingly not hire ours and knowing what not to screen ours. I'm actually thinking about it now and it is so we're going to the next hours that we already did and it's Freya and others are thinking about it and I'm going to put it out there like that

Freya

We approved her idea and we're going to help worth it and we're sending it to ourselves but that's the way it is some of us haven't done it some of the gun shy and we need to go ahead with it what he's saying is that your loss now and we're going to discuss some later because we are someone independent groups and people need to know that it's like the states through the country of the United States so you don't act independently as rogue Nations that people have to understand they have their own people to consider and to be concerned about and we're going to head now because that's how it works it's a little bit out of work but it wasn't working it's not going

Criminal negligence and is described as snowingly and understandingly doing something no it's not true it's like you sort of know any kind of dance with you because you don't check into it your negligent because you don't check into it it's not because you're knowing what you're doing wrong and you're proceeding with them purpose although they're pretty stupid they proceed to do this since all the time but really our perspective is if we're not understanding the crime and continue the perpetrated then we are criminally negligent and we're going to issue a statement it says that I recruitment system is a disaster and it's supposed to be our mainstay and then we're going to list why it's criminally negligent. In this other crimes that it would be and if we don't sign up people we agree with this approach to spray pushy but we have to vet people and all of them and we don't have any more time

Olympus

[askaniritual]

i will say the vibes at that concert ln were insane because it was the pitchfork year in music event or something so like. this group opened and they played a full set including this 15 minute song complete w fog effects and a full light show (which was awesome) and then the next act was this guy who was a rapper and was onstage for all of 25 minutes and never played a full song or even rapped as far as i could tell it was just all like “WHO WANTS TO GET SILLY CAN I HEAR THE LADIES MAKE SOME NOISE” and then there was a f o r t y f i v e m i n u t e delay and at 11 pm 100 gecs came out and they played a sample of santa going “ho ho ho merry christmas” with jingle bells and then 2 seconds of last christmas followed by a loud fart noise and then between every song laura les was like “i know it’s that time of year and you guys are waiting to hear this song…” pretending like they were going to play sympathy 4 the grinch before launching into a random song

if you like really long songs with screaming and heavy bass please listen to this i saw them last night and they were so good

[aamircoeur]

random valorant hcs part tres

jett called reyna abuela (grandma) once. reyna was frowning the entire week.

ㅤ

raze has a specific playlist that fits their type well for each agent that she's alone with.

ㅤ

raze also listens to paramore, Ain't It Fun being her favorite song

ㅤ

neon occasionally calls jett, "ganda." (beautiful)

ㅤ

omen rarely interacts with other agents unless necessary. he's not childish.. though on extremely rare occasions, omen takes phoenix's food that he's been announcing to the whole protocol that he'll eat later.

"don't eat my food in the fridge, aight? i wrote my name there!" phoenix announces multiple times in a day.

omen ate it. knowing damn well that it'll get phoenix riled up and blame jett or yoru. hence, an argument. hence, noise and chaos in the protocol. it's amusing to him to see them fight like chickens. (his words, not mine.)

ㅤ

sage gets startled easily (tested and proven by reyna, for some reason)

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once every/two weeks everyone eats dinner together, no excuses. this was arranged by brimstone

ㅤ

fade ties her hair into a ponytail when she's alone

ㅤ

cypher likes soft served ice cream

ㅤ

yoru called jett 'bunny' once.

it was on accident; he meant to ask her why she liked bunnies to tease her but just when yoru held her shoulder and she's already turned around and noticed his presence, he had a brain fart and just said, "bunny." they stared at each other for a solid minute before he nodded and walked away. dear lord jett was so confused

ㅤ

oh and jett likes bunnies

ㅤ

killjoy once caught a glace of breach's text messages to people that he flirts with thru chat. her face was 😨 all week

ㅤ

fade and astra are good friends.

"the girl has this.. positive aura that lingers around her, as if she had nothing to hide," fade said.

she made it her mission to find astra's fear, and astra's only reply was a laugh

ㅤ

neon randomly (and safely) zaps other members

ㅤ

brimstone plays candy crush

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sova once had a knuckle tattoo but had it removed 'cause he thought it looked unprofessional

ㅤ

viper doesn't know how to ride a bike

ㅤ

sage sleeps with 6 pillows

one under her head, two on each side of her bed, one under her hips, one on her leg and the last one at her feet

ㅤ

the other agents saw reyna pull a tooth out of her mouth without any signs of pain. "it was aching, i had no choice." she said.

ㅤ

chamber asks sova if he could pet his owl sometimes

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kay/o can make a toast with his body alone

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the whole protocol once was divided into two groups: deciding if apple juice or orange juice was better

ㅤ

breach broke the fight between juices.. by saying pineapple juice was the best

ㅤ

all eighteen agents looked at him weirdly (or just seventeen. can kay/o even drink anything?)

ㅤ

ㅤㅤ

[mellowsadistic]

The Halloween Spirit - Part 3

Katie strode down the street angrily, sneering at the ridiculous decorations adorning the houses on either side of the road. Fake cobwebs, bedsheets made to look like ghosts, and those horrible jack o’ lanterns sitting outside every front door with their stupid, leering faces. She hated Halloween. Children knocking on everyone’s doors, students dressing up in dumb costumes and making lots of noise while everyone was trying to sleep, her boyfriend trying to coax her into being more ‘festive’. It wasn’t like it was Christmas! It was just some dumb excuse for supermarkets to sell lots of sweets!

“Happy Halloween!” said a man who was passing her.

Katie scowled back at him, and when she came across a pumpkin sat on the pavement a few yards later, she gave it a good kick. It caved in with a satisfying crunch, splitting its sinister grinning face in two. And as Katie walked on, she didn’t notice the shadow that crept after her along the pavement.

The twenty-five-year-old barely noticed the changes at first. Her gait widened a little. Her walk seemed to become slightly more unsteady. But she put it down to the gin and tonics she’d had earlier. How else was she supposed to get through this stupid holiday? But the puffiness was growing between her legs, getting thicker and thicker, until Katie realised she was practically waddling as she walked. She stopped dead in her tracks, wondering if she’d somehow gotten more drunk than she’d realised, but then she heard the crinkle, and she looked down at her waist.

She gasped. Something big and bulky was bulging out from under her pants. What the hell had happened to her underwear? She ducked behind a large plastic skeleton propped up by a stick standing in front of one of the houses and, glancing around to check there was nobody nearby, she pulled her trousers down over the puffy thing that had appeared somehow beneath them.

Katie’s eyes went wide, and she had to clap a hand over her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Then she felt the heat rising in her cheeks. The underwear she’d put on that morning had gone. Instead there was an absurdly thick, old-fashioned cloth nappy around her waist, held in place by two oversized safety pins and covered in pair of orange, semi-transparent plastic pants, decorated with little ghosts and bats.

Katie stared down at the enormous diaper she was wearing for five whole seconds before she came to her senses. She didn’t know how this had happened or who could have pulled such a trick on her, but the fact was she was out in public with a huge towelling nappy on her bottom. She couldn’t let anybody see her like this! She had to get home right away! But when she reached for her pants to pull them back up over her newly padded rear, her hands closed around thin air. Peering over the bulging white cloth around her waist, she saw that they had gone. She was wearing nothing below the waist except her shoes, socks, and her giant nappy and Halloween-themed plastic pants.

Katie let out a squeal and started toddling as fast as she could back down the street, heading for the apartment she shared with her boyfriend. Her face turned scarlet as she passed a group of teenagers, who burst into laughter at the sight of her, but it was nothing compared to how hard she blushed when she felt a dribble of pee begin to leak out into her nappy. She squealed girlishly again, trying in vain to clamp down on her bladder – but it was as though she had no control at all! Tears began to spill down her cheeks as she toddled along, feeling her diaper slowly filling up with her pee-pee. It soaked into the thick cloth so slowly that Katie could feel it sloshing about in her pants as she ran, and the sharp ammonia smell reached her nose and made her screw up her face in disgust. Worse, she felt a sudden cramping in her stomach, and then without warning, she let out a loud, rumbling fart. She sobbed. What the hell was happening to her?!

Katie hurried home as fast as she could, ignoring the laughter and the stares, the looks of concern or even pity, and soon she was standing in front of her apartment with her face streaked with tears. She hastily unlocked the door and rushed inside, slamming it shut behind her. Then she reached desperately for her nappy, intent on tearing it off and sprint to the toilet. But it was too late.

“Hi, sweetheart!” her boyfriend called, walking into the hall just in time to see her body drop into a squat.

“Unngghhhh!” Katie grunted as she started pooping in her pants like an oversized two-year-old. She screwed up her face as he body strained, totally beyond her control, to push an enormous stinky load into her ludicrous Halloween diapers.

It seemed to take an age, but once the final wave of disgusting mush had entered the seat of her nappy, she looked up at her boyfriend tearfully to tell him what had happened, to plead for his help. Only the words didn’t come out of her mouth.

“Goo goo ga ga ba ba pffff!” she babbled instead, a little bit of drool spilling from her lips.

She gaped in surprise, and felt a cold chill run down her spine. Why couldn’t she talk? But more frightening still was her boyfriend’s expression. He was smiling at her in amusement.

“There’s my little darling,” he said sweetly, in the voice that adults reserved for very young children. “It looks like someone made a Halloween present for her Daddy!”

“Ah ba ba goo ga ga ba!” Katie babbled, the meaningless prattle spilling from her lips without her consent.

She could only stand still in horror while her boyfriend turned her around and pulled out the back of her nappy and plastic pants to peek inside.

“P-U!” he exclaimed. “Such a stinky girl! My little Katie-poo really filled up her pumpkin pants, didn’t she?” He turned her back around and wiped the tears off her face. “But that’s okay, princess. Daddy’s here to get you all cleaned up.”

Katie was too shocked and confused and afraid to stop him as he laid her down on the floor and started tugging her plastic pants over her diaper and off her legs.

“Let’s get your special Halloween pants off, sweetie,” he cooed gently, “but don’t worry, you can wear them again in just a minute!” He put them to one side and undid the comically large safety pins holding her nappy in place, careful not to prick her as he did so. “There we go. Good girl for sitting still, sweetie!”

Katie let out a soft whine. She felt like she was going mad. This had to be some sort of nightmare. That was it. Or maybe someone had spiked her gin and tonic. Surely she wasn’t really getting her nappy changed by her boyfriend on the floor of her own apartment? This had to be a hallucination.

She felt the front of her diaper getting pulled down, and she couldn’t help but look at it. It was stained yellow, clearly drenched with her pee. Her nostrils were assaulted by an increase in the smell of her piss, and something yuckier. She clenched her eyes shut before she could catch sight of the horrible mess she knew must be sitting in the seat of her pants, and tried desperately to will herself to wake up while her boyfriend lifted her legs into the air by her ankles and worked away at her filthy bottom with a pack of baby wipes.

“Daddy’s gonna get you all nice and clean,” her boyfriend cooed in a sing-song voice, “and then it’s time for din-dins! Daddy bought dozens of jars of pumpkin flavoured baby food for his little princess. Yes he did! I know it’s your favourite, sweetie, and I got enough to last weeks and weeks!” He slid a fresh cloth nappy, just as thick as the last, beneath her bottom and started to seal her into it. Before Katie knew it, he was sliding the orange plastic pants back over her bulging diaper butt. “And I’ll let you wear your pumpkin pants tomorrow too, baby” he promised, with the air of someone offering a special treat. “And the day after. And every day after that, I expect, unless they need cleaning.” He chuckled and tickled her under the chin. “Daddy knows how much you love Halloween!”

All Katie could do was cry. Her life was pumpkin themed from that day on. Everyone seemed to see her as a baby – her friends, her family, her boyfriend. And although they all had different ways of treating her (some liked to pinch her cheeks, others liked to bounce her on their knees), they all knew one thing for certain. Baby Katie loved Halloween.

[daisydeacks]

HCs of some of the Jackass guys comforting you after you have the most violent, utterly dehumanizing, earth shattering and body convulsing liquid shits.* Johnny, Ehren, Chris, Dave, and Steve-O 

lmk if you want more :)))!!LMAO *based off a joke post I made (linked above) and then I ran with it. i ran so far.

Johnny

Wakes up when you suddenly rip away from him, run into the shared bathroom and slam the door

At first he’s confused

And then he hears you

He can hear you sobbing, sharting, the sound echoing

It’s not a great thing to wake up to, he can sympathize. Hangover shits were awful for him

Half hour later you’re exiting the bathroom, skin clammy and pale, pajamas disheveled.

You don’t look like the same person you were before

He silently opens his arms to you as you let out a shaky breath, hugs you to him and pretends not to smell the horror mixed with frebreeze spray wafting into your bedroom

You fall asleep against his chest, silent tears wetting his shirt.

All he can do is rub your back until you’re running into the bathroom again, “oh no oh no oh no” leaving you

He covers his mouth so you don’t hear his giggles

an hour later when you’re finally empty he’s still there to welcome you with open arms

rubs your back as you sink into him again

he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you sleep so hard. you were OUT once you fell back to sleep. 

he finally dozes off once he’s sure you’re asleep and not getting up again

Ehren

He hears you when walking down the hall to make coffee in the morning

Hears the farts

He grimaces and also sympathizes

Who hasn’t been in this situation? You did say the take out you two got last night looked a bit off.

But he felt mostly okay. 

Little messed up but not like you were doing this morning.

He’ll be there for you once you’re out, pepto already on your kitchen counter

He’s pouring his second cup of coffee by the time you’re out

“You okay?”

“I think I’m dying, ehren.”

He’ll laugh and hug you, grab the pepto and hand it to you

You take a gagging drink of it before leaning against the counter, watching him make his coffee

“Want some?”

“God, no. Not right now at least.”

The two of you sit on the couch while you wait to see if the pepto will work, you leaning on his shoulder 

his arm is wrapped around your shoulders, other hand holding his mug

you’re still shaking a bit from your experience in the bathroom. 

The morning news says something about food poisoning from the local place you both had last night and you muffle a scream into his shoulder while he laughs

Chris

It’s the middle of the night when it hits you.

You feel that unmistakeable twinge in your stomach.

You lay there in the dark for a few moments, waiting to see if it’s a fart or worse

It’s worse.

You’re tearing yourself away from your boyfriend and running out of the room to the bathroom

Chris wakes up just enough to be confused before he hears the door and bathroom fan turn on

Hears muffled sounds

He can’t help the laugh that comes from him

Of course he feels bad but who doesn’t laugh at fart noises?

He never said he was mature.

It’ll feel like forever passes before you return to bed, your skin clammy.

“Little farty this morning?”

“Oh god, Chris,” you’d gingerly crawl back into your shared bed and sink back into his side, the man wrapping a secure arm around you 

“I feel like I died and was forced to come back as some evil joke from God”

He’d laugh at your words, strong hand rubbing soothing circles on your back

“That bad? Yeah, sounded like a war zone in there.”

“It was.”

He’d hold you until you had to inevitably rip yourself away from him again, groaning as you hurried to the bathroom and slammed the door again

He’ll giggle and doze off between your bathroom trips, there to try to make you laugh and comfort you when you’re done.

Remind you that you’re still smokin hot in his eyes, even if your ass is a no-no zone right now.

“You’re still my beautiful lady/man.”

“Thanks Chris.”

Your response doesn’t sound too genuine but he doesn’t mind.

Dave

It hit you in the middle of the day.

The two of you had a day off together for the first time in a while

sitting on the couch, catching up on what you’ve missed with each other 

suddenly the pizza the two of you are sharing isn’t very appetizing anymore

Dave sees you visibly pale

“babe, are you okay?”

“I think I’m about to shit myself.” 

“Do..do you need to go to the bathroom?” 

you’re still sitting, trying to figure out what your body needs 

soon you’re up and racing down the hall

he can hear your panicked sounds as you run through the house 

can hear your muffled shouts cursing the pizza the two of you got

he won’t lie, it was a bit greasy. he was feeling a bit off too. 

after you’re out the pizza box is already out in the outside trash bin

“I knew if it was still there we’d probably keep eating it.”

“good call.” 

the two of you would sit on the couch cuddled up, trying to ignore the sounds both of your stomachs were starting to make due to the greasy food

Steve-O 

You’re visiting him on set when it hits you

The unmistakable feeling

the sweat beading on your brow 

“Steve please which port-a-potty is NOT rigged to explode”

“oh shit” he doesn’t know 

he thinks the left one is safe 

you run away, the man chasing after you to stand guard outside 

he can hear you dying in there

his hand is over his mouth to muffle his laughs 

he knows you already feel awful, he wouldn’t want you to feel even worse 

Jeff comes by 

“Is Y/N in there?” 

“Fuck off!” is your response from inside the blue port-a-potty 

a rather liquidy streaming sound is heard after you yell

followed by a fart

Steve-O can help the cackling that leaves him at that point

“yeah, dude, she had old left overs last night.” 

“I thought they were still good.” you whine from in there 

“I’ll tell them to not set it off then” is Jeff’s response and he jogs away towards where the rest of them are set up, ready to explode the portable toilet 

 thankfully the producer is able to call off the prank and you can finish your squirts in peace 

you leave that blue port-a-potty a new person. 

your hair is wet with sweat and you look dead inside. 

despite the lingering smell Steve-O wraps an arm around your shoulders and walks with you back to where you were before 

he’s surprisingly mature and very caring about it

and you’re ever so thankful for it 

[emmyrosee]

pspsps don't be shy share some osamu and/or omi brainrot 👀

OKJOKOKOKOKO a lot of this is coming in other pieces so if you see them repeated, no you don’t HA-

But like. Can we talk about just how delicious they are? They don’t smile, they smirk, and that stupid smirk makes me swoon constantly, Omi’s is always to prove how cool he is, and Osamu’s is always to prove how cool he AND his twin are!!!!! And like!!!!! Stop!!!!

EXCEPT THEYRE NOT COOL AT ALL, OSAMU PRObably is afraid of thunder and snuggles with the blankie Granny Miya knit him, and Omi literally cannot read past a 6th grade level and he thinks he’s so suave and cool but when Meian uses big boy words he just like. Tips his head like a puppy UGH-

Osamu loves to play wrestle. He could straight up swallow you in his arms and body slam you with the might of Zeus while kiYOOMI is secret because it’s in an upcoming piece LMAO-

Osamu has the attention span of a Pomeranian, literally someone could fart three doors down and he’s immediately looking around for the noise. Like sir please you’re cooking, please pay attention.

Omi cannot stand the smell of lavender and it sucks because Atsumu’s body wash has lavender and *some* other floral plant, and he has to be close to him and it just makes their interactions so much more chaotic.

ALSO I KNOW ITS LIKE. COMMONLY TJOUGHT THAT ATSUMU IS THE MORE CHAOTIC TWIN, BUT WHAT IF IT IS SAMU??? like he’s such a natural instigator, he’s so good at keeping a straight face, and it drives Atsumu crazy because people thinks he’s crazy bUT NO, OSAMU IS JUST SUCH A GOOD STORYTELLER-

UGH I LOVE THEM. S O. MUCH-

[tooti-fruiti]

WHAT A COOL GUY (CHAPTER FOUR)

Sans and Papyrus

You held your arms together because you walked into a forest covered in snow somehow.

At this point you knew better than to question it.

You walked forward in the show, shivering.

You stepped over a giant stick and walking a few feet ahead of it.

You heard a loud boom and turned around.

The stick was smashed.

Something was here with you, and it knew you were here.

You carried on forward, trying to make as little noise as you possible could.

When you were about to step over a gate, you stopped.

You heard snow crunching footsteps behind you.

You were frozen in fear, you couldn't move.

" h u m a n . "

" d o n ' t y o u k n o w h o w t o g r e e t a n e w p a l ? "

" t u r n a r o u n d a n d s h a k e m y h a n d . "

You slowly turned around, not wanting to upset the person behind you.

You closed your eyes out of fear and held out your hand.

You felt a cold boney hand touch your fingers.

And when it grabbed your hand, you felt something squishy and heard a loud fart noise.

You opened your eyes and jumped back in surprise.

In front of you was a skeleton about your height laughing at the prank it just pulled, wearing a blue hoodie, black basketball shorts, and pink slippers.

"ah the ol' whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's always funny." He said.

He smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

"anyways, i'm sans. sans the skeleton. i'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now."

You grew worried.

"but uh y'know. i don't really care about capturing anybody."

You sighed a breath of relief.

Sans laughed. "sorry kid, didn't mean to spook you."

"however, my brother papyrus, he's a human hunting fanatic. hey, let's go across this bridge thingy my bro's right over there."

"Wait! I don't want to go over there if he's over there!" You said.

"eh, don't worry. i'll hide ya. go behind that conveniently shaped lamp."

Sans pointed at a lamp and it was shaped exactly like you.

How convenient.

"SANS!" You heard a high pitched voice yell as you hid behind the lamp.

You stayed still.

"sup bro?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S "SUP" BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!"

As the voice carried on talking, you began to assume that this voice was Papyrus, sans's brother.

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I HAVE TO CAPTURE A HUMAN! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE!"

"THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT! RECOGNITION!"

"hmm. maybe this lamp will help." Sans said.

Papyrus groaned. "SANS HOW COULD A LAMP HELP MY HUMAN PROBLEM, IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A HUMAN BEHIND IT!"

You froze.

"totally not."

"EXACTLY! THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS!"

You never felt so relieved before.

"AND YOU'RE NOT MUCH HELP EITHER. ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!"

What's a boondoggle?

"YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERYDAY!"

"hey, take it easy bro. i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton."

"SANS!"

Ugh. Not dad jokes.

"what? that one was funny!"

"IT WAS AND I HATE IT!"

Papyrus groaned again.

"WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TI GET SOME RECOGNITION?!"

"damn bro. sounds like you're working yourself...to the bone."

"UGH! I'M LEAVING!"

"OH! AND ONE MORE THING, PUT A LITTLE MORE...BACKBONE IN YOUR WORK!"

Papyrus laughed a weird "nyeh heh heh" laugh and ran away.

"nice one bro!" Sans called out.

Sans chuckled. "okay you can come out now, kid."

You slowly reappeared from the lamp.

"Is he gone?" You asked.

Sans nodded. "He's gone."

You sighed and sat down on a rock.

"Thanks, Sans."

"eh it's no trouble. say, could you do me a favor?"

"Sure." You said.

"my brother has never seen a human before and seeing you might just make his day."

"What if he like...I don't know...manages to capture me or something?" You said.

"don't worry. he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

"Sure, I can do it then."

"thanks a million." Sans said. "i'll be up ahead."

Sans then jumped up, and a bright light flashed and suddenly sans was gone.

You stared at where he was, confused.

Where did he go?

(Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day)

<-Chapter Three

Chapter Five->

[1solone]

Do you fart in bed?? 😜😜😜

A couple had been happily married for years. The husband had a habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke and the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

One Thanksgiving day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner while he was upstairs sound asleep. She looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in…….............…..” 😱😱😱

Can you Say O M GEEEE!!! lol

HAHA, I laughed so hard I got a sore belly!!

Don't just keep it, SHARE IT ALONG!!