#Opinions change in retrospect but this is accurate to my first play

[thewertsearch]

We should hurry this along. My visitor is beginning to set things on fire. […] TT: Who? Some guy. I was joking anyway. I am not in a hurry at all.

You said you should hurry, which is different from saying that you're in a hurry.

If the Alpha Timeline decrees that this conversation will be rushed, then it's still accurate to say it 'should' be hurried, even if Scratch isn't personally pushed for time.

TT: I thought you didn't lie. TT: Aren't jokes essentially humorous lies? Jokes are only temporary lies. If the falsehood is never exposed, there is no punchline. If the punchline is never delivered, the lie is sealed forever, regardless of initial humorous intent.

And this is just bullshit.

First of all, admitting that you lied doesn't retroactively negate the lie. That's not how any of this works. Scratch is just unilaterally deciding that falsehoods only 'count' when they're permanent, a rule he pulled completely out of his foamy ass.

Even if we accept his premise - which I don't - he could still wait arbitrarily long before revealing his falsehood, so that Rose doesn't realize she's been played until it's too late. This definition doesn't meaningfully restrict him from lying, and I think it's purely designed to confuse Rose.

[…] Lies are not funny. TT: I think if you're going to risk tarnishing your record of honesty, you should probably get better material. My joke was objectively funny. Who would know better than I?

And these? These are opinions, which don't have objective truth values. There are so many strings attached to Scratch’s ‘I don't lie’ shtick, I could knit him a better outfit.

Not that it matters, because Rose is in too deep. She's not going to back out now, no matter how suspicious this guy is.

TT: So you're saying an inaccurate statement doesn't count as a lie, as long as you say "just kidding" later? Basically. TT: What if it's much later? Is it still "just a joke?" No, that would be something closer to a prank.

I appreciate that Rose is trying, but her language is still too imprecise. Scratch is immortal, and it's impossible to know what ‘much later’ means to him. For god's sake, he's having this conversation in a single extended second! Give us some hard numbers, fucker!

TT: Are you allowed to lie about playing pranks? If I asked you if you were playing a prank on me, would you tell the truth? I am allowed to do whatever I want. I choose never to lie. I also choose to tell jokes now and then, and to play pranks quite sparingly.

See, the trap Rose is falling into is that she’s buying into the premise of the game. She's delving deep into the intricacies of Scratch's rules, and in the process, has completely forgotten to be skeptical of the guy who's explaining them.

Scratch tailors his manipulation style to whoever he's talking to - and if anyone's susceptible to a nerd-snipe, it's the Seer of Light.

But I can say that I have never played a prank on you, and no statement I have made to you thus far, or will make in this conversation, will contain any trace of falsehood for the sake of setting up a joke or a prank, with the exception of the joke I just made, and another one I will make very soon.

Like – let’s take this statement as an example. We could review the entire conversation with it in mind, and try to puzzle out where the setup for Scratch’s second ‘joke’ is, if it exists at all. Rose is probably doing exactly that – and in the process, has completely forgotten that he just said that he’s fully capable of lying.

He’s literally telling her to her face that he’s deceiving her, but she's too caught up in his games to pay attention. This is what it means to play with your cards face up, and it’s as impressive as it is terrifying.

TT: I'm starting to change my mind. Oh? TT: Yes. I think your joke was funny in retrospect. Actually, your whole shtick is pretty good. I'm warming up to it.

It’s great! He’s a good villain! He’s a puppet who’s got everyone else tied up in strings!

[lilliesforya]

Fall is for emo music and being proven wrong

Fall weather reminds me of driving around Pittsburgh with my friends listening to music. A college friend of mine has one of the coolest music tastes ever and plays an eccentric mix of Japanese indie music, math rock, alternative indie/ pop punk, and other stuff I can't even give a genre to. We overlap in the ‘fall out boy/ indie alternative’ areas the most. When I listen to music that I got into from them, I feel a deep nostalgia but also the comfort of friendship. 

Fall weather reminds me of working in a coffee shop in the middle of town. The smell of espresso stuck to everything. The girls I worked with wore the cutest outfits and taught me so many things I don't even have words for. They played so many different types of music and I enjoyed most, but some songs that played more frequently than others are tinged with memories of broken cash registers, laughter, comradery, and being at the mercy of a small business owner's wrath. 

Fall weather reminds me of marching band practice and competitions, stage crew meetings, and driving to school with my brother. 

Logically, I experience things as they happen like everyone else. However, I tend to experience emotional things retrospectively. My emotional processing time for things is longer than most peoples so events or experiences I had no opinion on or disliked while they were occurring often actually did impact me positively. I just wasn't super aware. Or I was vaguely aware but it wasn't at the forefront of my brain. Like I hated high school for the most part (as a system) because I was burnt out, lonely, and frustrated with the world. I still consider this an accurate statement. But later, I was able to process it emotionally and found I enjoyed the community aspect of high school activities immensely and it's something hard to come by as an adult. I also just enjoy being in school, having a routine, and learning. I hated working in my hometown too because it felt like I failed at establishing any life for myself after college. While this is true, I was able to later recognize I liked the job (I like preparing coffee), and I loved the community of people I was introduced to. Community is extremely important to human happiness and overall satisfaction with life;  I've been struggling with loneliness here so it has been important for me to recognize when I feel friendship or connection in my life. I'm sure I'll have something to say about the community I make for myself here in the future. But for now I just experience without judgment. 

Back to music, in my opinion, once you listen to ‘twin size mattress’ or ‘27’ for the first time in fall you have officially entered emo music fall. Once the temperature dips below 60 all of my playlists change and revert back to whatever I listened to from 7th-11th grade. It's not that cold here yet so it must be something else that indicates that its fall for me. Despite the fall being warmer here than what I'm used to (and thank god for that) it is still relatively cool weather.  I immediately want to be wearing fingerless gloves, all black, and to be stomping around in my doc martens. 

Anyway, I never considered my physical expression to be particularly bold, but living in Japan has definitely made me aware of the differences. I want to have my nails painted black, to retouch the blonde in my hair and extend it, and to wear my nose piercings in public. When I see my appearance at work I feel like a ‘deyassified’ or watered down version of myself. No piercings in. Hair tied back. No pins or jewelry. It's giving amish peasant. Though, let me clarify, I can definitely do those things here but it would further ostracize me. Also, I can’t have dyed hair or painted nails at work as it's a general rule for everyone. I'm sure there are workplaces in the US with similar rules, however I'm used to a more relaxed attitude in that department. Due to this, I tend to wear my mask when shopping in public, especially in my town. This is polite as it is becoming cold and flu season here and everyone for the most part is wearing a mask in public. But I also do it if I have my nose piercings in and I don't want to be especially different looking in public. I'm new and foreign to them everyday but I don’t have the energy for that everyday. People especially stare when they walk or bike by my car when I am driving. I try to be normal about that because I'm aware that it's shocking but oh my god does it make me crazy. There's this guy who bikes by my street in the mornings and two days in a row he turned his head fully to stare at me while I was waiting to pull onto the road. And like dude watch where you're going?? It's giving owl. But also it's rude to stare so long and so clearly!! It is very shocking for me. Where I’m from, it's considered rude to stare at other people for displaying something you consider weird, different, or uncommon.

Unrelated but the kids had to run the marathon this week which is their version of the mile run. I'm not sure how long it actually is by distance. I got to see the marathon at both of my elementary schools this week. Even the first and second years (first and second graders) do it. Also, it was not done separately in gym classes (they don't have gym everyday like we do), it was during the recess period in the morning (between like 10:05/10:35) everyone went outside and ran it at the same time. There are less kids at my schools than in my hometown but it was still surprising to see everyone running together. Some of the teachers ran with them as well. It was very cute. 

UPDATE: I learned that the kids are doing marathon practice for a tournament that's going to be held later this month!

[shizucheese]

Did anyone else base their BG3 character off of an existing D&D character (either from a campaign or from the pile of characters you want to play someday that I KNOW you all have) and then have that character develope into someone completely different from their source material?

When I decided I wanted to romance Astarion, I reached into my bag of characters for the closest thing I have to a Choas gremlin: my chaotic neutral death cleric with what I like to call "the personalityof a stereotypical bard" (he's a flirt and a slut), Lysander (and to be clear, I don't mean "lol random" chaotic neutral, I mean "only acts in his own self interests, questions why he should bother doing something that doesn't benefit him, would totally withhold important information simply because nobody bothered to ask him chaotic neutral).

Now, from character creation, I had to make some changes. For one thing, OG Lysander technically worships the Raven Queen, although I do kinda use her as a place holder and any neutral death-related god will do, so I made BG3 Lysander a cleric of Kelemvor.

For another, more important thing: OG Lysander's race isn't in the game, and even if it was, or if there was a mod for it, I wouldn't be able to make BG3 Lysander that race. Because OG Lysander is a dhampir (based on the Midgard/ Kobold Press version, since that's kinda where he originally came from, idea-wise) with major daddy issues that have translated to him having some....negative opinions...about vampires as a whole. OG Lysander and Astarion in a party together would be an absolute mess that the confines of a video game do not allow for. So I made BG3 Lysander a half drow, which I figured would have similar flavor.

Then I gave BG3 Lysander the criminal background, and realized too late it probably would have been more accurate to give him the Urchin background, but also, like...it'scomplicated?

See, OG Lysander is the son of a prostitute who used to cater to high-end clientele. She was hired to be part of the entertainment at a party where Lysander's father, a vampire Duke, was in attendance, and she ended up pregnant. She didn't realize who's child she was carrying until she gave birth, and then word got out she had given birth to a "monster" and her reputation was ruined. She still worked as a prostitute, but now she was forced to spread her legs for whoever was willing to shell out money for her, instead of exclusively catering to the wealthy and elite. She was forced to out of the town she lived in and had to live in a shabby cabin on its outskirts. She blamed Lysander for this, and kept him tied up in their cabin, barely feeding him and beating him regularly. When he was 14, his mother got particularly violent, and nearly killed him, and he fought back and ended up killing her, biting her neck and getting his first taste of blood. He set the cabin, with her body still in it, on fire. Not long after that, his father found him and took him in, giving him a new home and an education. (His father is a reap piece of work, but that's a tangent for another day...)

BG3 Lysander did not end up being any of this. In retrospect, I probably could have said that his father was the drow and his mother was a woman he had a child with, but for some reason right from the beginning I decided that no, his drow parent was his mother, who had left the underdark for reasons I eventually decided was her falling in love with a human, Lysander's father. I initially struggled to decide who his father was (was his father some kind of crime lord? How do I work in the fact that with OG Lysander, the reason he worships the Raven Queen/ whatever death god he worships is because she's his family's patron?) but after I accepted that these two boys were not, in fact, versions of the same character, I eventually decided that no, he was just like...a merchant. And he died before BG3 Lysander was born.

Early on in the game, when interacting with the Tiefling kiddos, I decided BG3 Lysander has a soft spot for kids. Mol reminds him a lot of the person he used to be before he found Jesu--Kelemvor. OG Lysander thinks kids are annoying at best.

OG Lysander has a ton of siblings. His father literally jokes about how his children are like his age: he lost track a long time ago. His relationship with his siblings ranges from contentious to him being outright hostile towards them.

BG3 Lysander has one sister, who died when he was 13. He loved her and idolized her and part of why he hates the Emperor so much is because he used her face when he first showed up in his dreams.

BG3 Lysander is a massive mama's boy. Obviously OG Lysander is definitely not.

The circumstances that lead them both to becoming clerics is now widely different.

At this point the only things that the two Lysanders really have in common is that their name is Lysander, they're death clerics, they're both chaotic (although BG3 Lysander is chaotic good, not neutral) they're gay, and they'll flirt with and fuck any man who they find attractive who consents.

[retphienix]

AND HERE IS WHERE MY SNARK HIT ME.

THIS *IS* GOOD, BUT LISTEN TO ME YOU JERKS.

YOU ALL WENT ON ABOUT THIS BEING THE GAME WHERE KIRYU DIES *SO LOUDLY* THAT I HEARD AND BELIEVED IT WITHOUT EVER LOOKING FOR SPOILERS!

AND.

YOU'RE.

RIGHT.

YOU JERKS!

This is the funniest god dang thing in terms of the meta of this series- in every dang game Kiryu dies and then they take it back, in EVERY ONE!

And then this *IS* the one where he 'dies' for real, but not! BUT IT IS!

BUT IT'S NOT!

YOU GUYS ARE TERRIBLE lol

Now as far as narrative threads here I do wanna say a little:

1) I do like this overall. It's a sacrifice, it allows him to 'die' for the series, it's bittersweet, all that.

Overall I give it a passing grade.

I do have ONE qualm with it.

2) It's just Kiryu running away again.

He keeps doing this. This game in particular makes it a point that his running away convinced Haruka to at the start, then he keeps saying he ran away too often and is done doing that, he tells people he's Yakuza despite trying to run (owning up to it), he does all these things to confront head on and stop running- then he just runs.

All that talk of running and his avoidance being what caused hurt- even his letter to Daigo is about how he ran from the responsibility and needed to apologize for it-

And then, yet again, he have Kiryu take on the martyr's cloak, take that sad sacrifice, and RUN AWAY AGAIN- KIRYU YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

It's being painted as a sad positive, it IS a sad positive, it DOES work, but it's taking the entire thing you said was your failure in life and DOING IT AGAIN!

Someone smack him upside the head.

Funny rant aside, this scene with Kiryu and Haruto's footsteps lining up made me tear up.

What a damned phenomenal series.

At this point I haven't touched Judgment or Lost Judgment, and I haven't touched the samurai era japanese exclusive stuff or the zombie spinoffs.

Just felt like framing some context.

As a whole, this main series is just fucking great man.

So many amazing morals and themes being explored, so many incredible gameplay hooks, just damned good.

For fun my meaningless ranking (again, for fun).

Yakuza 5 is number 1, I just can't stress enough how much it clicked for me. It's more fun to fight in than 6, it's characters are insanely well done, and the story is sick.

The Yakuza "K" trilogy is second, that's right I'm putting 3 games in 1 spot and including Zero with K1 and K2. But hear me out, all three are insanely good, and their positions in my list juggle too much, so here.

K1 introduced me to the series and I adore how it plays a ton. K2 hits as well. Zero is the flashiest in the series and I give a lot of credit for that- between the 3 you get such a damned good look at the series, I just like em a lot. And being later entries means their combat is NUTS.

Swapping styles in these games for instance far outweighs Y6 having a stable solo style, even if it's the way it is for thematic purposes.

Third is Y6 because I gotta be real, it concludes the story so well it has to be right after the golden 3 that display the game's core.

Y3 after that because it's solid. People might dislike hanging around the orphanage but I find it charming.

Y4 is doody poo poo. (It's "fine". I'm not still salty that the story is dumb and exists to shit on every character you could remotely like for whatever reason.)

Fun game. Love the series :)

I really didn't do too much in this one compared to 5, but I did what felt right to do. I really wanted to go completionist in 5, but in 6 I didn't find myself too hooked tbh? I liked the bar stuff for sure, but I think the combat being simplified is what wears me down.

The remake trilogy have a ton of work on that weakness, four and five have multiple characters with unique moves, so really the only game that shares this weakness is 3 and I gave 3 a pass because it's such an early entry and I was willing to give it a lot of credit despite me coming off the remake trilogy to play it.

That kinda did drag down my patience toward completionist challenges, which is a shame.

Ah well.

Amazing game.

(3/3)

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!

[thewhizzyhead]

so i just finished watching a 20+ hour playthrough of Elsinore and 1.) I'm very tired and 2.) I wanna ramble so woo let's go kinda semi-analysis ramble time about a time-traveling Shakespearean video game which also kinda supports my theory about Hamlet basically being a coloring book:

So basically Elsinore centers around Shakespeare's Hamlet aka the play with the iconic "To Be Or Not To Be" monologue but this time we have Ophelia aka Hamlet's kinda-love-interest as the main character. In the original play, Ophelia goes mad and dies via drowning bUT in this game, Ophelia is stuck in a Groundhog day situation aka a timeloop and she works with a playmaster named Peter Quince (YUP one of the dudes from A Midsummer Night's Dream) to solve the mystery and get out of the timeloop. The game is fairly accurate to the original play but um yea it deviates a lot and adds a lot more characterization to the pre-existing characters (characterization that wouldn't really fit the original play but eh yay for public domain plus the new characterization really fits the game's many many interwoven plotlines) AND it adds a lot more characters with very interesting stories that ultimately add a lot more depth to the overall story. HELL IT EVEN HAS OTHELLO FROM THE OTHER SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY AND HOLY FUCK I WAS NOT EXPECTING HIM TO POP UP but um yea as you can see there are a LOT of changes and twists to the original play in this game but what makes it work so freaking well is that Hamlet already had a rather thick layer of ambiguity to begin with. Like in my opinion throughout the entire play, there is a general theme of vagueness especially in regards to each of the characters' motives and mental state i.e. when exactly did Hamlet go mad, did Gertrude know about the true circumstances of her first husband's death, whose side was Gertrude really on, wHAT EXACTLY are the circumstances of Ophelia's death etc etc. Heck Hamlet constantly pondering the circumstances regarding morality, mortality, and what goes beyond life, death and suffering to the point of extreme indecisiveness kinda conveys a general feeling of uncertainty regarding the true nature of the events he's witnessing and, in retrospect, of his state of mind.

So, given that a lot of the elements in the original play are so open to interpretation and debate, it is really nice to see a game like Elsinore really succeed in taking advantage of that by telling so many stories within such a well-crafted story (which is about the power of choice btw) that ultimately expands the story of Hamlet in ways I never thought were possible and I really find the feat impressive.

Also yea the fact that Elsinore just works so fucking well in taking advanatage of the general themes of ambiguity and vagueness of the original play serves as further proof to my theory that Hamlet is a fucking coloring book and yup thanks for coming to my Ted talk-

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

30 Days of Carry On

8. How do you feel about Wayward Son?

This may be a question that tends to divide some of the fandom. It’s a challenging one to answer but I will do my best. This may be long and incoherent. I have many feelings. 

The run up to the release of Wayward Son felt very chaotic for me. I was disappointed that publishers and amazon had released some books early. I was desperately trying to avoid spoilers and honestly trying to shut down spoilers because having bits and pieces without the overriding, coherent narrative can really be damaging and upsetting and confusing. I wanted to read it without having any dread or concern and the internet made that very difficult, if not impossible. That was unfortunate. 

I’d been looking forward to the book and in my head I had spun a very happily ever after happy ending that in retrospect was naive and unrealistic of me. I own that. That’s on me. Because that isn’t reality. It’s not how things work, not with such real characters who have endured so much and who have such diminished or flawed or basically nonexistent coping mechanisms. I know that. I should have remembered that. It’s in Carry On. You can see it. 

What’s funny is I think fanfic played a significant role in my having those unrealistic expectations. My own fanfic included. But when I look closer, particularly at my unfinished fic Never Tear Us Apart--my sequel to CO that I didn’t manage to finish before WS--I see that I myself had plans to deal with loss and trauma and communication difficulty and heartache. Long before I read Wayward Son. That fic was outlined and plotted last February. Yes, a lot of it was fluff and romance because that’s just me, but I had plotted out many darker, angsty passages, which in retrospect make a lot of sense because after events of CO it can’t be all rainbows and lavender flavored unicorns because they all have such significant trauma and loss and confusion to process.  

I finished Wayward Son at 4 am in a puddle of tears. I was hurt. I was a bit angry. I was heartbroken. The ending left me so wanting more. I know people felt it rushed through things. That the pace felt frenetic. That there were no resolutions of the big issues that affected the main characters. That it left so much open ended. I am not going to disagree because those are valid comments, even though I don’t necessarily feel that way about the book at this point in time. But not at any moment did I feel it was unrealistic in it’s approach to the issues they had.  I think the handling of the aftermath of a chosen one’s journey was spot on. It’s the things we don’t think about. How to endure the loss that comes with it. How much one’s identity is tied to that role. How the fallout is magnified and translated and spreads to those around you as well. 

I think it was a very sensitive and accurate portrayal of mental health issues as far as Simon is concerned. And Baz. And Penny. They are all struggling. They are all saddled with unhealthy mechanisms of coping. We know that about Baz and Simon from Carry On--Simon with his not thinking about things, Baz with withdrawing and building walls, just to name a few prominent ones. We’d had hints of Penny’s too. When you read Carry On after Wayward Son the clues are all there. I think to me that’s the remarkable thing about WS--that I probably should have been expecting it if I hadn’t fallen so deeply into the romance and firmly placed my rose colored glasses on. It’s all there. 

I will say that I loved Wayward Son. I know that’s not a popular opinion. But it’s one I’ve come to over many months of thought, rereads and intense fic writing to process some of it myself. I think I appreciate it more every time. I think I appreciate it more after rereading Carry On. In my opinion it gives us such a real portrayal of the anguish, loss, post-trauma fallout, confusion, awkwardness, shity coping mechanisms that exist in the story and in these characters. It made me hurt. It made me empathize. It made me recognize things that perhaps I had not wanted to face myself. it resonated. It may seem hopeless that even Simon Snow is laid low by these emotions and plagued by doubts about self-worth and his place in the world. But I read that and I see that I’m not alone. That the doubts and thoughts and emotions that challenge me can challenge even those that I think are so much stronger, more capable, more resilient. He’s not weak. He’s not broken. Those trappings don’t define him. He may think he is and that they do but we know that’s not true. So perhaps that’s the case for me too. 

I don’t expect others to share that view. We each look at it through our own unique lens. it hurt in so many ways. But it made me think so deeply about so much that I am eternally grateful for that. 

Wayward Son did give us intense moments of joy, for which I am eternally grateful. Carry On doesn’t have that many itself when you look back--the magic sharing, chapters 61 and 62. Simon’s return in Chapter 67. The Epilogue. Not much more. In WS we have the fireflies, the renaissance faire, the truck scenes, the Hoover Dam scene, the flying scene, All of those are such beautiful, lyrical, emotionally impactful moments. Tinged with heartbreak but moving and real and in some ways hopeful in their own way. We see a softer, vulnerable Baz. WS shows us what a poet Simon Snow is, in his head. We actually see the depth of their love for each other, blighted though it may be by their communication difficulties, Simon’s depression, Baz’s paralysis as far as dealing with it all, the gulf between them that has grown as they struggle with the ramifications of all that has happened to them and between them. They can say it in their heads--the stumbling block is saying it to each other in a way that is understood. But again not so surprising, considering Simon’s issues with communication in CO and Baz coming from a family that shoves things under the rug rather than discuss them or address them directly. 

They’re young. They’re inexperienced at relationships.  Simon and Baz skipped straight from enemies, to wary allies, to terrible boyfriends. They jumped right over the traditional getting to know you middle part--they “knew” each other so well from observation over the years, from their obsessive watchfulness and laser-focused attention on each other but they didn’t know how to talk to each other. They didn’t know how to be with each other when things were calm and peaceful. They are traumatized and are doing their best to muddle through and carry on, on their own, without much help from anyone outside their trio. This road trip was the proverbial slap in the face they needed to get out of that rut. Make a change. Face the things that loomed over them. 

I’ve reread WS since that first time. Listened to the audiobook. The joy and lyricism shine through on subsequent reads. The love emanates from the pages. No, we don’t get resolution of their issues but Baz has finally broken the wall and said something. Yes, a lot happened to them, in a rapid, frenetic fashion. It’s hard to believe the events of the book occurred over just one week. The last few pages made me ache. But I am still left with hope at the end. Hope that they will find a way to resolve things between them. Solve things for themselves as well.

I will always consider Carry On my comfort book. I turn to it when I need a soothing read, something familiar and loved and welcoming. But there are passages of WS that have left their mark on my soul. Painful but real. Beautiful but achingly so. It is the middle book, the time when things get dark, when all seems muddled and desperate. But there is a light. it will come in the third book. I’m not going to let myself be scared of it. Because whatever it is, I know it will be true to who Baz and Simon are and who they are becoming. I may rejoice or I may mourn but I know I will feel. 

And I trust Rainbow. She’s never let me down. She loves Simon and Baz and she said she set out to write an epic love story. I believe in that. 

(this is both more personal and much longer than I anticipated)

[tttinytrash]

(Another skelesnake, I’m on a roll with them as of late. Most of the headcanons associated with how they work is still lifted from Shamedump, cause they’re neat. My demiromantic, ace ass found a lack of platonic noms, but if you wanna take this as a budding romance I won’t stop you. And I was also using this as an experiment with second person POV, since I’ve never used it. Anywho, I’ll shut up and get to the story.)

-----

God, you hated retail.

You let yourself plonk heavily into one of the cheap patio chairs provided in the break room, pulling out your phone. You glanced around the room as you wrestled your phone out of your pants pocket, and made the mistake of locking eyes with Jerry.

Every retail store has one. The one worker that’s slow, lazy, and all around a pain. No one ever knows how they keep a job but there they are. That’s Jerry. A spindly, older man that was made all the more bitter by never escaping retail, blaming everyone else when he was clearly the problem. You were saved an awkward conversation by the new hire walking in.

Well, slithering to be more accurate.

Sans was a naga skeleton. Monsters had been reintroduced to humanity a few years back. Thank God the laws were finally in place and the monsters’ citizenship finally granted after a legal battle that took far too long in your opinion.

Jerry’s open sneer proved he was aligned with those who had fought to deny that citizenship. Sans ignored you both (as he tended to ignore everyone unless specifically asked.) and went to his locker. He left right after, but Jerry leapt at the opportunity to talk to you since you were freshly alone again. Damnit.

“I can’t believe they let that thing work with people.” Jerry spat. This wasn’t the first similar sentiment you’d heard. Especially not from Jerry.

You tried to stay out of it, hoping your lack of engagement would shut the racist up.

No such luck. “The thing can’t even do it’s damn job! Can’t use a forklift, why do they let it stock shelves?! It’s a burden!”

“HE,” you put obvious emphasis on the proper pronoun, “uses his magic instead. He works alongside everyone else just fine.” You feel the anger boiling, especially after last week’s incident where Jerry nearly ran over Sans’s tail with said forklift on “accident.” (Not that corporate would do anything without “sufficient proof.”) You realize you’ve already said too much and try to bite your tongue.

“It shouldn’t be around people in the first place! Our ancestors sealed them away, why don’t we do it again?”

That does it! “My God Jerry, get a life. All you do these days is bitch about monsters. They’ve done nothing wrong! They’re people who just want to be left alone to live their lives, and I can’t believe you’ve taken up such issue with that. If you don’t like monsters so much, just leave them alone! Because I’m sure they’d all be happy to not have to deal with you, I swear!”

You feel the adrenaline wear off, and look back at a stunned Jerry. You decide that’s enough of a break, and storm out of the room.

As you exit, you see Sans on a lone patio chair out in the hall. Guess he was taking his own break, and elected to steer clear of Jerry. You feel the blush on your cheeks like fire as you immediately wonder how much he heard of your snap. You shuffle past in a rush and nearly trip when you hear Sans voice a casual “thanks.”

You stop long enough to look back to see him looking at you with a small smile, throw him and awkward one of your own coupled with a rushed nod, and continue your shuffle away back to the sales floor.

God, what’s HR gonna do with you?

-----

HR didn’t do much.

Not that that’s surprising, in retrospect. Jerry and you both got called in, given a verbal slap on the wrist, but neither one got a write up.

While that outcome was anticlimactic, you did get a positive result elsewhere. Sans had started talking to you at work, and eventually you two exchanged numbers. Nearly a year later, you were hanging out outside of work. It was a nice friendship you two had going, and you guess you had to thank Jerry for it, which was ironic.

You were both at your house, playing a video game together. It was a Co-Op game you both had interest in but no one else to play with, so this wasn’t the first time he’d been over for a gaming session. You both laughed when you fell off the stage and died, but the mirth was cut short by the power cutting out.

“the hell?” Sans voiced, conjuring a glowing red bone to cast at least some dim light into the dark room.

“Lemme see.” You respond, pulling out your phone. You check for scheduled outages or weather notifications. “Crap. The snowstorm that was supposed to brush by changed course. Whiteout.”

“welp. guess i’m sticking around, eh?”

“Yep. If you think I’m letting you leave in a white out you’re batshit. I’ll grab some blankets.”

-----

You’d decided to sleep downstairs to be a better host, and Sans had insisted you take the couch. He had a pillow nest on the floor using literally every pillow and plushie you owned save the one you were using. He swore he was comfortable in the pile, so you two had grabbed every blanket you had and divided the hoard in half. Both sufficiently burritoed against the chill settling into the house with the heater down, you tried to sleep.

You woke up who knows how long later, freezing.

You were shivering, and evidently the blankets and fuzzy PJs hadn’t been enough. Your toes were numb when you checked, but Sans seemed ok when you glanced over.

Maybe grabbing your heavy winter jacket would help. You got up to go hunting by the light of your phone but whirled around at the sound of abrupt motion behind you.

It was just Sans, he’d whipped up from his spot and had summoned a bone in his hand, looking around wildly before his eyelights settled on you. “jeez, kid.” he breathed in obvious relief. He let the bone disappear.

“Sorry, I thought I was quiet.”

“ya were. i sleep light, old habit from underground. couldn’t sleep?”

“I’m freezing my ass off. Well, more my toes. I was gonna grab a jacket. You doing ok temperature wise?”

“all good. perks of being a skeleton. in fact, c’mere.”

He adjusted a spot in his nest, looping his coils to leave a loose circle of tail.

“Y-you want me to lie there?” You ask, teeth already starting to chatter.

“i’m warm, you ain’t. seems obvious.” Sans shrugged, gesturing to the space he’d made.

You gingerly lay yourself where indicted, and he closes his coils around you loosely, then tosses the blanket over the both of you. You thank him, and apologize when he flinches away from the touch of your icy extremities. He brushes off the apology and instructs you to make sure to keep them in contact with the glowing red magic of his tail. You reluctantly do so after a bit feeling comes back as pins and needles, but you do feel better. You try to sleep again.

But can’t stop shivering enough to actually slip into sleep.

Eventually, after a few more apologies and the realization that you won’t be able to sleep the rest of the night settles in for both of you, Sans seems to have an idea. “kid, you trust me?”

“Yeah, why?”

“i have a solution. it’s no biggie for nagas, or it was at least before we were sealed away. quickly figured it ain’t so much for humans.”

“Now I’m curious. Spit it out.”

Sans laughed, “heh. more of a pun than you know.”

You just look at him confusedly.

“i could swallow you, kid.”

You tense up. “What?”

“relax. told you, it’s normal for nagas. before the underground, we’d do it with our kids or heal friends and family that way. shit, it’s even part of courting in the right context.”

“...And this context would be?”

“a friend is fuckin cold and i can help is the context, kid. unless you’re cool with not sleeping.”

You hesitated. “This is safe? You’re sure?”

“i did it to paps when he was a babybones, and he’s still around. been awhile, but yeah. it’s safe.”

You fiddled with your hands. You did trust him, even if your instincts were revolting at the idea of allowing yourself to be eaten. No, this was a stupid debate. You knew you were being irrational. You took a breath before nodding. “Ok. Let’s do it.”

Sans uncoiled from around you, and you found yourself already missing the heat. At his request you sat up straight in front of him, and gave him your hands. He guided them into his mouth, and you flinched when your fingers brushed against his tongue. 

He let you flinch away, and waited for you to make the first move to start again. Shaking just a bit, you laid your hands back in his mouth. Given this go ahead he used his hands to guide them farther back until you felt the back of your hand touch what felt like a throat. How did a skeleton have a...?

You didn’t really complete the thought as a swallow drew your hands and upper arms into his gullet, and you were brought face to face with the monster. His jaw popped and unhinged, and he guided your head to duck under his sharp teeth and follow your arms into his maw.

He swallowed again and your head was now in his throat, and that sort of felt like the point of no return. Oddly, that brought a sense of calm over you rather than dread and your curiosity came to the forefront. The material around you was warm and fleshy like his tail, but just like his coils it didn’t quite feel “right” for flesh. It was slicker and almost felt like a heated waterbed with a thick rubber or silicone membrane. 

That train of thought also died at another swallow, and now you could feel your hips balancing on his teeth. You were spared the spikes of his fangs by what seemed to be his tongue laid over them, which you were grateful for. His skull tilted back, and you sunk deeper into the tight confines. Simultaneously, your hands felt an even tighter squeeze before the pressure let up completely. 

Another swallow above and you were pushed down past that same tightness before being released into an open chamber beyond. A final gulp and your legs joined you. You heard a deep breath around you, apparently that had taken some effort. You felt like you should be scared, but despite the adrenaline you felt more numb. Maybe it was just the dregs of fight or flight? Anyway, you used your heightened senses to take in all the stimuli around you. It was wonderfully warm, and the air was easily breathable. The area was more open than his esophagus for sure, but your body filled most of the available space. You used some of your limited movement capabilities to lightly push at the wall, to find it was pliable to pressure and your hand sunk in. It was slick and almost felt wet, but you could tell that your body was in no way damp. You felt Sans press in over the space your own hand was pressing out, and the odd numb feeling dissipated into calm.

“you ok in there, kid?” Sans finally asked, voice both close and muffled.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You were right, this is much warmer.”

“heh, told ya. aight, i’m gonna get comfortable myself.”

You felt movement around you, but it was brief. He seemed to coil back up in what was probably the nest and then movement ceased. You’d pulled your hand back when he’d started moving, but now curiosity had your palm back out, running it along the wall as a test of texture.

Red made an odd growling sound, and you clenched into a ball in reaction. “What’s that?” You ask in mild alarm.

“sorry, just me. couldn’t help it, ...that felt nice.” Sans answered, the latter half pretty reluctantly.”

“This?” You clarify, running your fingers down the wall in front of you again.

Sans didn’t verbally answer, but that growl came again. 

“Are you... purring?”

“you ain’t gonna make me say that, are ya?” Sans sounded desperate and mortified, and you couldn’t help but laugh heartily.

“yeah, yeah. get your laughs in kid.” Sans says with a chuckle, and you both seem happy for the newfound levity in such an odd situation (for you at least).

“What? You want me to stop?” You tease and rub at the walls more. 

“shut up, you little shit.” His insult held no real bite, and only drew a giggle from you.

You let him off the hook though, just letting your hands explore around you. He seemed happy to concede the banter and just enjoy the quiet, and after a little time under your ministrations the tissue got softer under your hands. It seemed he was actually relaxing, which was gratifying.

After a bit the purring hitched as Sans yawned, and you surprised yourself by yawning in reply. Oh right, it was the middle of the night.

“you ok to sleep?” Sans asked.

You nod, before realizing your mistake and instead calling “Yeah, I am.” You pull your hands back again and adjust to a comfortable sleeping position. “Thanks, again.”

“don’t mention it kid. night.”

“Goodnight.”

You drift to sleep in record time, warm and safe.

[midnight-in-town]

The ambivalence of Lizzie’s character

This is a post relevant to the whole manga so far, but even more particularly to the current arc, seeing as it is one of the major reasons it’s very hard to be sure of anything when it comes to future developments.

Anyway, I love Lizzie but she’s hella complex and in my opinion, Yana is totally playing on that, which is obviously not helpful. xD An example, before I explain:

Before the Campania arc, we didn’t know “the real Lizzie” because we had no hint that Lizzie even had the slightest idea what the Watchdog duty was. We didn’t have the slightest idea either that she was as badass as she is. Literally the first hint we got that something was up with her was when she reacted midly surprised to Ciel holding a gun to her face, more shocked that he’d point it at her than of the fact he was holding a gun in the first place.

This is what I mean by Lizzie’s ambivalence: her character can always be read in two completely opposite ways and the reason for that is because she was presented as having two radically different sides rather “late” in the story, compared to when she was first introduced.

The contrast between her naturally extremely cheerful personality (her love of cute things)...

and what she was taught by her mother (her badass side) was never foreshadowed until the Campania arc, but retrospectively, now that we know about it, it changes things. For example: 

you can wonder if the attack on the manor during the circus arc really had Lizzie being clueless about the situation and not even wondering why a part of the manor had exploded during the night.

you could even use this contrast to explain why her parents let her go alone to any party, especially to one held by Druitt, a rather popular womanizer (and also human trafficker, not that her parents had to know). 

This leads to one of the major differences between Ciel and Lizzie, narratively speaking: Ciel initially hardly knew anything about the Watchdog duty because Vincent died before he could teach him anything...

so he had to learn on his own, which is probably why everyone always notices when he fails to be a completely obedient doggy (even if what UT said about him being relatively different from his predecessors is probably another big reason). 

Meanwhile Lizzie had her mom by her side from the beginning, her mom who trained her to be as strong as the Watchdog’s wife needed to be in order to survive. And Frances factors heavily in this difference with Ciel because she herself used to be a Phantomhive. In other words...

these are what makes Lizzie the badass girl she is and, more precisely, her mother’s lessons are creating the ambivalence of her character, because without Frances’ teachings, the Lizzie we know would simply be the girl we saw until the Campania arc.

So the fact there was another side of her from the beginning and that Yana kept it completely hidden for a while (no foreshadowing at all when we know Sensei loves foreshadowing) could be a narrative choice made to be completely relevant to Lizzie’s role in the story.

To get back on the initial subject and to explain what I meant regarding the current arc, when you see Frances (who’s the one who taught Lizzie everything), do you think she’d even buy Bravat’s fortune-telling?

Personally I don’t think she would. 

Now, when it comes to Lizzie, what do you think?  Because there is a difference between enjoying a little vibe of mystery (who doesn’t like a deviner trying to guess stuff) and completely buying the words of a total stranger, especially when they seem to know about your fiancé who coincidentally happens to be the Queen’s Watchdog and an important target of the Underworld. 

And this is but one example of why the ambivalence of Lizzie’s character is such. a. pain. when it comes to the current arc, because you could argue that Lizzie’s reaction to Bravat’s “prediction” was genuine...

we know she’s been worrying about Ciel hiding something big ever since the Easter chapter, which was in April and Liz met with Bravat in August

she’s young and that’s the main difference with her mother who’s a grown adult and who experienced much more than her

...just like you could argue that Bravat’s words possibly frightened her because they were too accurate and, while Ed was yelling, she was busy wondering if Bravat was a possibly dangerous enemy (and in that case, the reason she went back to see him is because she wanted to evaluate just how much he knew about Ciel until, well, Bravat revealed something much more unexpected).

Another example would be:

Lizzie’s words to a sleeping real!Ciel in ch113. It’s something I remembered last week and that I shared with @thedarkestcrow​ because to this day we still can’t explain her words: What did she mean by “I can’t save you”? Why does she think that?? And save real!Ciel from whom or what???

There again, Yana making her character ambivalent is leading me to imagine two radically different possibilities:

she feels guilty about not being able to give him her blood to save his “radiance” => I’ve personally always found that idea so very stupid (and thus not like Lizzie) considering that she was born with her blood type and that it can’t be helped, buuut I guess the situation could be confusing and painful enough for her to be manipulated into thinking that she’s useless. 

she’s actually implying that she wanted to save real!Ciel from the sect, but it’s proving to be much harder than she expected (hence why she cries) and so she stays by his side, watching the sect killing people while she can only imagine why they brought back the twin and what they intend to make him do once he’ll be “ready”. In that case, it’s also no wonder Paula said she’s been constantly crying.

See what I mean? Lizzie’s ambivalent character is proving to be a major pain for the current arc, because we know she was raised by a woman who wouldn’t have taken two shits coming from the blue sect, but Lizzie is not her mother as she's younger and more inexperienced than Frances.

So what we saw of Lizzie’s actions so far in the arc gives us two big interpretations as to what her role is supposed to be:

was she manipulated by the blue sect to be an hostage to use against our!Ciel?

it is the most popular take on her role for this arc: the sect baited her with the twin and she’s choosing his side over our!Ciel’s for the moment because she’s confused and pained by the truth facing her. 

hence Bravat’s words in ch123, taunting Ciel with Lizzie’s choosing the twin over him. 

or was she trying to double-cross them from the beginning (both for real!Ciel’s and our!Ciel’s sakes)?

this part actually belongs to a bigger crack theory I discussed with @thedarkestcrow (with at least UT and Tanaka being involved in the same plan) but I’ll spare you otherwise this post will never end. xD

simply it would imply that, from the moment she learnt about the twin, no matter how confused and pained she was, she didn’t choose him over our!Ciel, it’s just that she wants to save him from the sect and has to pretend to be on their side in order to do so.

TL;DR ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we can thank Yana for creating such an ambivalent character because she’s extremely interesting that way and also it’s making things extra hard for us when trying to understand what’s going on in the current arc. xDD

I know this subject can lead to controversy because some readers might want to argue that I’m reading too much into things (which is definitely a possibility) or that Yana is not good enough to imply so much through only Liz’s character though, so I’m ready to discuss the subject if anyone wants to share their thoughts. :))

[balaenabooks]

Thanks for tagging me, @thesheepthewolf !

The Game: answer the questions, create your own 11 questions, and tag 11 people.

1. What is the best book you’ve read so far this year? The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (reread and currently two books into the series), and Yugioh by Kazuki Takahashi (first time reading and currently a little less than halfway through the series). I enjoy both of these series for similar reasons, for the lovable, endearing characters, and the zany, wacky adventures with some occasionally dark and twisted scenes to spice it up.

2. If you could ask any author (living or dead) one question, who would it be and what would you ask? I would ask Charles Dickens about what endings he had in mind for The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

3. Would you ever want to have a book of your own published? That would certainly be a fun and interesting experience, but all I’ve got are a bunch of half-baked ideas, not stories.

4. What do you do to get out of a reading slump? I don’t really get reading slumps. If a book is not working out for me, I just put it down and read something else. I use the Popsugar Reading Challenge if I need help picking out the next book to read, and if I’m behind on my Goodreads Book Challenge, I pick up a manga or a picture book.

5. How do you feel about book-to-screen adaptations in general? The two mediums rely on totally different ways of telling a story, so it’s pretty much impossible to completely and accurately translate a book to a film. So long as the adaptation is true to the spirit and ideas of the source material (like Lord of the Rings), or if it can stand on its own as a good movie without the book’s help (like Jurassic Park), it’s fine by me.

6. If there was a fire and you only had enough time to grab 5 books from your shelves, what would you take? The Neverending Story by Michael Ende, Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum, Watership Down by Richard Adams, and Bambi by Felix Salten.

7. Do you listen to music while you read, and if so, how do you decide what to listen to? I like to listen to lofi hiphop or chill music while I read because it’s pleasant to listen to, but not too distracting. I just pick a random playlist on YouTube or Spotify.

8. How much of a role does a book cover play for you? Pretty covers certainly catch my attention, but I always do some research first before actually buying or checking out a book...unless it’s a pretty collector’s edition of a beloved classic, then I’m all like GIMME GIMME GIMME.

9. Do you have any “chicken soup books” (titles you return to when your feeling low or ill)? What are they? I like to read HP Lovecraft when I’m sad. I don’t know why.

10. What do you like to snack on while reading? I don’t usually snack on anything while I’m reading. I just find it distracting for some reason. I do like to drink tea while I’m reading, though.

11. If you could only (re)read the same book or series for the rest of your life, which one would you pick? I don’t think I could ever do that willingly, but if it was life or death I’d pick One Piece by Eiichiro Oda. The series is INSANELY long and still ongoing, so I’d probably be old as the hills or deceased by the time I got to the last volume...unless (it’s very likely) the series would continue long after I was dead, so I’d still be reading the series as a ghost.

My questions:

1. Think of a book or series that you read in the past. Has your opinion of that book or series changed since then or stayed the same?

2. Think of a character that you read about in the past. Has your opinion of them changed in retrospect, or stayed the same?

3. Do you listen to audiobooks? If so, when and/or where?

4. What was the first book that you read and enjoyed on your own?

5. Do you read comic books? Graphic novels? Manga? If so, what’s your favorite?

6. What was the last book you read that was originally written or published in a different language?

7. Are there any books you’ve read that have changed your perspective in a big way? A small way?

8. Do you like to read outdoors? If so, where?

9. Do you play videogames? If so, what console(s) do you have? Do you play on a PC?

10. Do you read ebooks? If so, what ereader do you have?

11. What do you think constitutes a “classic”?

I tag anybody who wants to try this, and also @godzilla-reads @thisblogislit-erature @tinynavajoreads @booktineus @blackcatno7 @lamia-zarzis7 @captainbooksnob @thebookishdragon @soggywarmpockets @pokebecher @novelknight

[withinthescripts]

Season 2, Cassette 9: Metropolitan Museum of Art (1981)

[tape recorder turns on]

Welcome to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and its new Harlem Island home. I am Elaine Hara, director of contemporary exhibitions. Thank you for attending “Claudia Atieno: in Memoriam”. This exhibition has been curated by Atieno’s friend and fellow artist, Roimata Mangakāhia, who spent two years with Atieno in her artist commune in Cornwall in the early 1970’s. The commune was deserted in 1972, when Atieno vanished. We know of course that she died, although there is much uncertainty and speculation as to how. We might expect that these paintings or Mangakāhia’s narration would address the rumors of foul play or open windows on Atieno’s story, but we feel there’s little to be gained here. Please instead enjoy this retrospective on Atieno’s known life and work, and join us in farewelling one of the 20th century’s greatest artists.

For membership to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, please see the kiosk located at the Hudson River ferry station at the Saint Nicholas Park dock.

[bell chimes]

I have thought long and carefully about what to include in this exhibition. I have thought about which works Claudia would want included, and what she would have left out. It is not easy to guess at a person’s opinions years after they have gone. It is hard to know if the impressions you hold of them are accurate, or if they’ve been colored and altered by the changes that have happened within yourself.

Perhaps it is for the best that she was unable to provide any input into this exhibition. Creative people are not always the best curators of their own work. When you have been so close to a piece for as long as it takes to conceive it, refine it, and in the end create it, it becomes difficult to see how it might fit into a wider picture.

When you are busy examining the flower in front of you, it is hard to see the mountains in the distance. I hope Claudia would approve of my choices. I wish I could share them with her. She is one of the finest artists I have ever known. And I would very much like to know her thoughts on how I’ve chosen to celebrate her work. [tearily] She’s one of the closest friends I’ve ever had, and I would very much like to again hear her feelings on the world, on art, and on ourselves.

I’ve selected a range of works from various points in her career, including the unfinished painting she left behind when she abandoned her home in Cornwall.

[bell chimes]

One. “House with Yellow Door”.

We’ll start one of my favorite of Claudia’s works. It has a playfulness to it that she rarely shows in her work, although it was pervasive in her life. There is a cliché that artists are moody and unfriendly, malcontents who pour so much of themselves into their work that they’ve got nothing left to the people around them. I’m not convinced that this cliché is very often true. It certainly wasn’t in Claudia’s case. She was warm and lively and welcoming. She liked to talk about anything except herself. She was exceptional at pulling people out of herself and loved to be surrounded by people as much as possible.

This painting, while simple, is imbued with that liveliness Claudia carried with her through her life more clearly than anything else she’s done.

Look at the house and its ordinariness. The ordinary street as well. What do you define as ordinary?

You expect to enter this home and be met with a warm meal and a generous glass of wine, which is exactly the kind of expression Claudia gives as well. No one walks away from her unfed, which is as admirable a quality as any I can think of.

What kind of food do you like? Do you need food to feel comfort?

The people standing outside the house are ordinary people. But they look like people who would care about how you are and offer you a place to stay if you needed one.

Do you need a place to stay? What does caring look like?

It is a portrait of Claudia’s past life, of her childhood, and there’s no way to know whether it’s accurate or not. It is a portrait of her house and her family before she was made to leave them. The house no longer exists, and the family are scattered to the winds.

The vision may be an idealized vision of a childhood that never happened in place of a more painful one, or at least a more imperfect one. Or it may be the reality, a snapshot of a life of bliss cut short by the rebuilding of society. It’s hard to say which idea is the more tragic. Perhaps there’s always loss and pain when we look back at a person’s childhood.

[bell chimes]

Two. “Woman in Bath”.

I have never allowed another artist to use me as a subject. Sitting for an artist is tedious at best and I’ve never had much patience. But Claudia was always persuasive, and every artist should know how the person under their brush feels. So here we are.

I lived with Claudia for a while on an island off the coast of Cornwall. The house had a few idiosyncracies. One of which was a bath tub just off the corner of the living room. It stood on its own clawed feet, not hooked up to any plumbing. Filling it took dozens of trips from the kitchen with pots and pans of water. Emptying it was complicated.

Portraits never show the full bredth of a person’s experience, even when that experience is just one moment captured.

What do you see in a portrait like this? The blackness of the woman’s hair, rising above the curved white edge of the bath tub. The curve of her fingers as they droop towards the floor. The steam rising from the water.

Do you see the conversations that happened between artist and subject? You do not. Can you hear what’s being said? You cannot. Can you hear what’s being left unsaid? What are you leaving unsaid? [chuckling] Why would you do that?

A portrait is always a picture of secrecy, no matter how open and honest your subject. No matter how skilled and perceptive the artist. A portrait always hides more than it tells.

So here is the only portrait ever painted of me by another artist, and you can barely see my face, with no hope at all of knowing what I’m thinking. But are you trying anyway? Please, do not.

[bell chimes] [tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on] [bell chimes]

Three. “The Empty Pier”.

Claudia painted this long before we met. I don’t know where it is, I never asked and if I had, it’s likely she would have evaded the question, spun it around to ask something about me instead.

The beach is lonely and somehow feels like it’s been lonely for a long time. It is not the loneliness of a beach in winter, remembering the laughs and games of summer, feeling like they will never return, even though they come back every year like clockwork. No, this beach feels like it hasn’t seen a human being in years, maybe ever. It is bleak and quiet.

But for the pier, you would think no one had ever discovered it. The pier itself is weathered, but looks sturdy at first glance. It is not until you look closely that you see how rotten and perilous the struts supporting it are. Stretching, brittle, and weak into the sea below.

The sea also looks at first glance reliable and safe. But below the shimmering green of the surface, a darkness moves. It is a portrait of a storm about to strike, of a ground about to fall out under someone’s feet. It is a portrait of peace about to end.

[bell chimes]

Four. “Unfinished Work”.

I did not see this painting until I began planning this exhibition, although Claudia must have started it while we were both in Cornwall. It is a painting of the house, or of the island, or of neither and both those things.

You can see the northwest corner of the house and behind it, the sloping grass leading towards the sea and the sea fading off towards the south. At least you would have been able to see the sea, had she finished the painting. As it is, there’s simply a thin, pale wash waiting to be built upon.

At the southern edge of the island, there are a few sketched-out lines. They could be the beginnings of a tree, although I can’t remember that any tree stood on that part of the island. They could be a figure, standing at the cliff’s edge.

That spot was a favorite of mine while I lived there. At high tide, you could dive into the sea below and it was like – jumping into oblivion. Claudia often asked me how I was brave enough to do it, but it was perfectly safe at high tide. I encouraged her often to take the plunge. It would release her of every feeling, every weight, to fall so far, for so long. And at the moment you feel you cannot stand the sky any longer, the sea hits you, returns you to the cold shock of birth. Your mind clears, your skin aches, and you cannot climb back up quickly enough.

But as with my suggestions about her art, she did not take my suggestions. This was also the last spot I saw her before she went away. I’d been painting outside, taking my last few moments of the sun, (-) [0:14:22] about the horizon to finish a seascape I had been working on for some time. These were also my last few moments on the island before I would travel to Amsterdam.

It was low tide. The time for diving had passed. It was the only thing I wanted to do, besides leave Cornwall to get away from Claudia.

I passed Claudia on my way in to collect my things and head to the mainland, and we said our farewells. Neither of us has ever been sentimental and our farewells were brief. Plus we both assumed it wouldn’t be long til we saw each other again.

But she said: “Roimata,” and when I turned, she hesitated. She rarely hesitated in her words. “I’m… going to take the plunge,” she told me. I wanted this to be figurative and literal. But I understood she was ready to try diving. She did not understand the tides.  

The last reflection of the sun’s arc was below the water now. I think of this moment a lot. I play it over and over in my mind.

There was a moment, you see. There was a moment when I could have told her. I could have told her it was low tide.

Can you hear what’s being left unsaid?

That moment is frozen now, perhaps it always has been, I see it from outside my own body. I watch my face, trying to see there what I was thinking, trying to see myself making that decision. Or failing to make that decision. I can’t see it. My face is blank, impassive, pleasant.

I watch myself in the moment, where I didn’t tell Claudia Atieno not to cliff dive. The moment… where I didn’t tell her the tide was out and the water had given way - to sharp rocks.

This was the last time I saw her and honestly cannot tell you what she did, or or what happened to her a-after that moment. I wasn’t there. I didn’t see. I’d already packed and left for Amsterdam, I’d work at the…

I don’t know if she was brave enough to dive in the end, really. I hope she was. [chuckles] I hope she freed herself from the weight of an audience’s expectations. I hope she threw herself into a moment of brief bliss, but no thought as to how that moment might be perceived. I hope she felt the joy of falling into oblivion.

I hope she felt – reborn.

[tape recorder turns off]

Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson and performed by Rima Te Wiata, with original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com.

The voice of Elaine Hara was Leah Nanako Winkler.

Don’t forget to check out the amazing Within the Wires T-shirts and Claudia Atieno artprint at withinthewires.com.

OK, our time is done. It’s you time now. Time to stop by the museum giftshop, grab yourself a souvenir book of paintings about [my 17-year-old cat Simone]. Pick up a poster featuring [goats whispering to other goats]. And buy a commemorative vase made out of [Boston accents].

[michaelbennettcrypto]

Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst

A financial forecasting tool that predicts bitcoin market cap would hit a trillion-dollar valuation is misleading, according to cryptocurrency analyst Alex Krüger.

The noted economist called Bitcoin’s Stock-to-Flow Model (S2F) “massively overhyped” as he criticized it for not assessing certain crucial parameters. In retrospective, S2F is a ratio of a commodity’s stock (the units in circulation) and its flow (the amount produced in a year). That said, the model specifically puts weight on the supply factors without dwelling aggressively on the demand side.

Stock to Flow (Scarcity) | Image credits: PlanB

S2F so far has been instrumental in predicting the prices of traditional assets like Gold and Silver. Quantitative analyst PlanB tested the same predictive mechanism on the bitcoin market in his paper published on March 23. He noted that bitcoin exhibited the same properties as that of traditional commodities: that of scarcity. He said it drives the value of every commodity, and bitcoin is no different. Excerpts from his blog:

“A statistically significant relationship between stock-to-flow and market value exists. The likelihood that the relationship between stock-to-flow and market value is caused by chance is close to zero.”

The Core Flaw

Krüger differed with PlanB in the way the latter stressed hugely on the supply-side factors but completely ignored the role the demand-side plays.

“Bitcoin is a demand-side story,” he said in a tweet. “Supply is fully deterministic. There are no supply-side shocks. Fixed total supply and diminishing supply growth are crucial because these drive demand. It is that simple. Demand is what matters most.”

Amazing how so many bring up S2F these days whenever anyone mentions bitcoin supply. I did not have S2F in mind when I wrote this tweet, and no, I don't think it is very important, it is massively over-hyped.

— Alex Krüger (@krugermacro) November 6, 2019

In his paper, PlanB briefly describes how bitcoin could attract $1 trillion into its market. Speculatively, he mentions that investors with exposure in gold, silver, or assets belonging to countries that are in socio-political and economic crisis, would more likely move their capital into bitcoin. Moreover, central banks’ dovish policies, such as rate cuts and quantitative easing, would further prompt investors to seek safety in safe-havens like bitcoin.

But Krüger sees it a justification by bulls to keep the bitcoin upward momentum alive. He said:

“The Stock to Flow model is to bulls, what the Tether Manipulation paper is to bears. Both based on fancy looking statistical models (more so the latter). Both are flawed. Doubt whoever believes in these extremes will change their minds. The mind believes what it wants to believe.”

Bitcoin S2F 99.6% Accurate So Far

Past performances do not predict future price actions. But that has not deterred S2F supporters from making a case in favor of it. One of the respondents to Krüger’s opinion pointed out how the bitcoin price has so far followed the PlanB’s model with 99.6 percent accuracy. Halving, a four-yearly event that cut bitcoin’s supply rate by half, also served as the biggest reason why the S2F model works as planned in the long run.

“S2f model is in my humble opinion very important since it indirectly reflects miners’ capacity to stay profitable,” said Maros Hajduk, president of BlockYard – a digital asset management fund. “Unprofitable miners=dead network=nothing else matters. There’s direct pressure on [the] price to rise because of the halving events.”

The post Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst appeared first on NewsBTC.

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[joshuajacksonlyblog]

Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst

A financial forecasting tool that predicts bitcoin market cap would hit a trillion-dollar valuation is misleading, according to cryptocurrency analyst Alex Krüger.

The noted economist called Bitcoin’s Stock-to-Flow Model (S2F) “massively overhyped” as he criticized it for not assessing certain crucial parameters. In retrospective, S2F is a ratio of a commodity’s stock (the units in circulation) and its flow (the amount produced in a year). That said, the model specifically puts weight on the supply factors without dwelling aggressively on the demand side.

Stock to Flow (Scarcity) | Image credits: PlanB

S2F so far has been instrumental in predicting the prices of traditional assets like Gold and Silver. Quantitative analyst PlanB tested the same predictive mechanism on the bitcoin market in his paper published on March 23. He noted that bitcoin exhibited the same properties as that of traditional commodities: that of scarcity. He said it drives the value of every commodity, and bitcoin is no different. Excerpts from his blog:

“A statistically significant relationship between stock-to-flow and market value exists. The likelihood that the relationship between stock-to-flow and market value is caused by chance is close to zero.”

The Core Flaw

Krüger differed with PlanB in the way the latter stressed hugely on the supply-side factors but completely ignored the role the demand-side plays.

“Bitcoin is a demand-side story,” he said in a tweet. “Supply is fully deterministic. There are no supply-side shocks. Fixed total supply and diminishing supply growth are crucial because these drive demand. It is that simple. Demand is what matters most.”

Amazing how so many bring up S2F these days whenever anyone mentions bitcoin supply. I did not have S2F in mind when I wrote this tweet, and no, I don't think it is very important, it is massively over-hyped.

— Alex Krüger (@krugermacro) November 6, 2019

In his paper, PlanB briefly describes how bitcoin could attract $1 trillion into its market. Speculatively, he mentions that investors with exposure in gold, silver, or assets belonging to countries that are in socio-political and economic crisis, would more likely move their capital into bitcoin. Moreover, central banks’ dovish policies, such as rate cuts and quantitative easing, would further prompt investors to seek safety in safe-havens like bitcoin.

But Krüger sees it a justification by bulls to keep the bitcoin upward momentum alive. He said:

“The Stock to Flow model is to bulls, what the Tether Manipulation paper is to bears. Both based on fancy looking statistical models (more so the latter). Both are flawed. Doubt whoever believes in these extremes will change their minds. The mind believes what it wants to believe.”

Bitcoin S2F 99.6% Accurate So Far

Past performances do not predict future price actions. But that has not deterred S2F supporters from making a case in favor of it. One of the respondents to Krüger’s opinion pointed out how the bitcoin price has so far followed the PlanB’s model with 99.6 percent accuracy. Halving, a four-yearly event that cut bitcoin’s supply rate by half, also served as the biggest reason why the S2F model works as planned in the long run.

“S2f model is in my humble opinion very important since it indirectly reflects miners’ capacity to stay profitable,” said Maros Hajduk, president of BlockYard – a digital asset management fund. “Unprofitable miners=dead network=nothing else matters. There’s direct pressure on [the] price to rise because of the halving events.”

The post Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst appeared first on NewsBTC.

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[brettzjacksonblog]

Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst

A financial forecasting tool that predicts bitcoin market cap would hit a trillion-dollar valuation is misleading, according to cryptocurrency analyst Alex Krüger.

The noted economist called Bitcoin’s Stock-to-Flow Model (S2F) “massively overhyped” as he criticized it for not assessing certain crucial parameters. In retrospective, S2F is a ratio of a commodity’s stock (the units in circulation) and its flow (the amount produced in a year). That said, the model specifically puts weight on the supply factors without dwelling aggressively on the demand side.

Stock to Flow (Scarcity) | Image credits: PlanB

S2F so far has been instrumental in predicting the prices of traditional assets like Gold and Silver. Quantitative analyst PlanB tested the same predictive mechanism on the bitcoin market in his paper published on March 23. He noted that bitcoin exhibited the same properties as that of traditional commodities: that of scarcity. He said it drives the value of every commodity, and bitcoin is no different. Excerpts from his blog:

“A statistically significant relationship between stock-to-flow and market value exists. The likelihood that the relationship between stock-to-flow and market value is caused by chance is close to zero.”

The Core Flaw

Krüger differed with PlanB in the way the latter stressed hugely on the supply-side factors but completely ignored the role the demand-side plays.

“Bitcoin is a demand-side story,” he said in a tweet. “Supply is fully deterministic. There are no supply-side shocks. Fixed total supply and diminishing supply growth are crucial because these drive demand. It is that simple. Demand is what matters most.”

Amazing how so many bring up S2F these days whenever anyone mentions bitcoin supply. I did not have S2F in mind when I wrote this tweet, and no, I don't think it is very important, it is massively over-hyped.

— Alex Krüger (@krugermacro) November 6, 2019

In his paper, PlanB briefly describes how bitcoin could attract $1 trillion into its market. Speculatively, he mentions that investors with exposure in gold, silver, or assets belonging to countries that are in socio-political and economic crisis, would more likely move their capital into bitcoin. Moreover, central banks’ dovish policies, such as rate cuts and quantitative easing, would further prompt investors to seek safety in safe-havens like bitcoin.

But Krüger sees it a justification by bulls to keep the bitcoin upward momentum alive. He said:

“The Stock to Flow model is to bulls, what the Tether Manipulation paper is to bears. Both based on fancy looking statistical models (more so the latter). Both are flawed. Doubt whoever believes in these extremes will change their minds. The mind believes what it wants to believe.”

Bitcoin S2F 99.6% Accurate So Far

Past performances do not predict future price actions. But that has not deterred S2F supporters from making a case in favor of it. One of the respondents to Krüger’s opinion pointed out how the bitcoin price has so far followed the PlanB’s model with 99.6 percent accuracy. Halving, a four-yearly event that cut bitcoin’s supply rate by half, also served as the biggest reason why the S2F model works as planned in the long run.

“S2f model is in my humble opinion very important since it indirectly reflects miners’ capacity to stay profitable,” said Maros Hajduk, president of BlockYard – a digital asset management fund. “Unprofitable miners=dead network=nothing else matters. There’s direct pressure on [the] price to rise because of the halving events.”

The post Bitcoin Stock-to-Flow Model is Massively Overhyped: Analyst appeared first on NewsBTC.

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[oscar-randle-bct]

Project MAJO - my pros and cons in summary. (We didn’t finish)

(We didn’t finish :( -  I initially wrote this blog post under the presumption that our team would pull it off but sadly this has not been the case. Under the “cons” section of this post I have made a small edit explaining things but the post is otherwise unchanged and is written as if our project was complete).

Pros:

Learning -

Group work:

Working on this project has been one of the most valuable experiences iv’e ever had. Not only do I feel like I have developed my general skills within the creative technologies field - but I have used this opportunity to learn invaluable lessons about teamwork and group dynamics. This is the first time I have ever worked in a team at this level, In fact nothing comes close. Remembering our successes and our failures, I now feel like I have a grounded understanding of how to operate and conduct behavior in a group surrounding as well as how to select ream members for next time. I believe that I have got most of the basic mistakes out of the way and I feel prepared for next years challenges with this in mind.

 Here’s are the most important things I learned -

Aim to work with people with all manner skills, personalities and backgrounds - despite similar interests, try not to work only with other men. Diversity of thought and opinion is vital.

Make a time-table as early as possible and stick to it.

Delegate team member roles firmly and fairly from the start. 

Confront your group with your concerns directly and without hesitation.

Communicate regularly.

General work:

Aside from the group dynamic, I have learned a great deal about my own personal work practice.

Most important things - 

Set up a timetable for my own work and stick to it

Seize the opportunity to learn new skills and develop my current ones - don’t be lazy.

Work on my procrastination issue

Stop sucking at programming - watch some videos over the break

Game development:

All in all - the prospect of getting involved in game design is something that excited me from the start. Unlike team work - this was my very first time developing a video game. In retrospect - I’ve learned so much about how this industry functions. Because this is just as much of a personal interest as it is uni work, I am very happy to have had this experience in first year. If I was as clueless as I was at the start of this project and attempted something like this next year - I would have been in trouble.

Important things i learned about effective game development.

Build your game from the ground up - not the other way round

Thoroughly examine and firmly establish a satisfactory context and setting of the game in the first week or so of work - then iterate on it but avoid drastic change from the original theme. This was a major problem with our team work.

Ensure that you examine logistics as a part of the early creation process as well as everything else.

Use concept art and music as a means of creative inspiration - It seriously helps.

Again - making a timetable and sticking to it is vital - leave yourself time for screw ups.

Game development is a complex web of interdisciplinary work and expertise - communicate clearly and frequently with your team because at some point all your work will have to fit cohesively together and so it’s important to be engaging in constant discussion about the direction your work is going in. 

Make sure your team members know and  what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Even if your’e work is different - make sure you know and understand all your team mates work.

Our result - 

I would describe our project as weird and wonderful. We succeeded in a lot of what we ultimately set out to accomplish as a unit. Overall, although this is a subjective thing - I believe that our project is a very interesting concept investigating an area of thought that is perhaps under explored.

In the end I am quite proud of our team. We all got on and worked reasonably well together. But more so - If nothing else we were not afraid of challenging ourselves and we launched head first into a ballsy, unconventional project, putting a lot of hard work into the mix along the way.

Whatever your opinion might be - our end result can only be described as a product of creative technologies. 

Cons:

Group work - 

As expected from a team of hastily assembled students working on an unconventional concept - our team had its fair share of issues as well as strengths.

Poor time management - 

Firstly - I don’t think its fair or accurate to say that our team had poor time management from the get-go. At the beginning and throughout our work - the team made special efforts and considerations in order to assemble a well thought out time table on Trello as well as a number of other methods. For the first while - we met the demands of our time table effectively. However - as with all things like this, our work became more complicated and we began to miss our deadlines. Our issue wasn’t so much with organizing ourselves as it was with correcting ourselves when we fell behind. 

*Edit* This ultimately resulted in us being unable to finalize our game before the due date. As I edit this blog post - it’s 2:am on Monday morning - our team leader @synergybct gave it his all to get it finished but, after days of exhausting work for him and for all of us, he’s in no state to continue programming. Obviously we are all really disappointed to put it lightly. We all thought that we would be able to pull it off but in the end all that stood between us and completion was a bit of programming vital to our games completion. specifically i’m referring to the dialogue screens and the narrative cut-scenes not having these implemented presents a variety of issues. Nonetheless the spirit of our project and it’s intention exists in our journey and our documentation. *Edit*

Inexperience -

Many of our issues stem from the fact that this was a first time in game development for all but one of us. The main problem I had with our operation is the inadequate level of importance placed on our theme and game aesthetic early in our process. A friend of mine in the second year (@joachimpearson​) is also developing a video game this semester. A week or so ago, I asked him how long it took his group to settle on their game aesthetic. When he told me that they made their minds up inside a week or so I was a little disappoined that it took us so long. The bread and butter of our concept is based on physical and digital construction - so it is expected that this takes precedence over other things. However our team only decided on our final aesthetic inside a month before due date. We could and should have been faster. 

From a personal standpoint given my role in the group - My contribution is directly influenced and dependent on our game aesthetic choice. I had to constantly work around and factor in our shifting theme through a majority of the project meaning I spent a lot of time on things that wouldn’t end up in the game. I made a blog post about how my work during this time wasn’t a waste of time but I also had so much more planned for this games sound score that I just wasn’t able to achieve due to limited planing and actuating time.

I feel disappointed because I don’t feel like there’s anything particularly special about what I have ended up creating. Its not very original and little more than just thematic filler for the ears. This is the exact same mistake I made for my final project last semester. I had a very similar role in my final solo studio project last semester and I ended up with a disappointing grade - not because I didn’t work hard but because there was little uniqueness about my premise. Sound tracks have the potential to be so much more than just audible filler and I wish that I had explored that potential this in the project. Next time I will be better.

Our result -

As I said - I find our premise interesting. But i’m not convinced this is easily the case for other people. A good project is self explanatory in my opinion. As a result of falling behind - we didn’t even get to play test and adjust our finalized game. So we basically have no clue whether our work is balanced in terms of difficulty and overall just makes sense to outsiders. This is less than ideal because we missed out on the chance to make important iterations to improve our game and fix potential issues. Our game is dynamic but it’s also not particularly simple and I hope that we are able to steer the player in the necessary direction to complete the game without assistance.

This is the main gripe I have with out project. There are obvious ways to improve the game and our overall experience, but I think it functions well for the purpose it was intended for - experimentation. 

[aion-rsa]

The Best Geek TV Deep Dives on YouTube

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From the heyday of Television Without Pity to niche podcasts that cover every small screen angle you can think of, TV show deep dives have always thrived online, and popular platforms like YouTube and Vimeo provide opportunities for talented creators to add a visual angle that can often make a well-edited analysis of your favorite series even more compelling.

YouTube is positively teeming with potential rabbit holes for TV obsessives to fall down. Sometimes at 3 a.m. Sometimes after a few beers. Sometimes when you should be working (couldn’t be us) but whether you’re drawn in by a near-obligatory shocked reaction thumbnail or you accidentally stumble across an interesting take on something you’re passionate about, there’s usually a rabbit hole waiting that feels like it could have been made just for you.

With any luck, falling down one of those rabbit holes ends with you landing far away from the world of destructive opinions, of which there are many, and not just on YouTube. Most of us have probably seen a clip floating around of someone spouting the most harmful, misinformed nonsense at one time or another, and asked ourselves whether giving that person a platform was really the best idea.

Well, this isn’t that. Instead, we’ve pulled together some weighty YouTube-accessible examples of what happens when someone loves a TV series or franchise so much, they can’t stop talking about it – even decades later. Most of these deep dives are a labor of love, which is not to say that they always have a happy ending.

The Retrospective

Ian Martin, who runs the YouTube channel Passion of the Nerd, says his journey began rather accidentally in his early 30s when he found himself feeling a little lost in life. He admits he tried a variety of ways to rid himself of the sensation, including “too much alcohol,” but after deciding on a career change and fruitlessly looking for ways into the voiceover industry, he decided the best course of action was to go ahead and just …make stuff. After all, this course of action didn’t require anyone else to give him a break, and made him the master of his own destiny.

“I sat down and wrote a script about a show I’d become consumed by and edited it into a video called Why You Should Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” he wrote. “In that video, I mentioned that Buffy’s first season was a little rough and, for people who just wanted to get into the show, I would create a short little episode guide just to get them through the first season.”

Six years later, Martin is still at it, and his audience has grown into a supportive community that includes over sixty thousand subscribers, propped up by funding from Patreon. Not only is he still covering Joss Whedon’s first series in depth, episode-by-episode, he’s now delving into spin-off show Angel and Firefly.

Martin’s videos don’t pore over every aspect of these shows, and rarely does an instalment hit the 30-minute mark. Rather, they tend to examine the philosophy behind their themes, citing absurdist and existentialist influences. The host himself doesn’t push these ideas on his audience, but if you don’t end up buying a copy of Jean-Paul Sartre’s Nausea by the time you get to the end of Season 3, it may be that you’ve missed out on a pretty essential element of Buffy’s enduring appeal.

“It took me a long time to figure out what Passion of the Nerd was but I started to find its shape through the journey it was taking ME on,” he explained. “On any average day it’s a chance to make someone laugh over our shared interests. But my favorite experience of art is the one in which we find ourselves. That movie, piece of music, performance, or show that makes us feel like its creator opened up our heart to take a picture of its inner depths. And I love talking about why media MATTERS and finding those moments in popular culture. Sometimes I get to distil those moments for other people and when I do, I hope it does for them what the channel has done for me.”

Martin’s coverage of the very first episode of Buffy lies below. If you continue watching his series of videos after that, it’s unlikely you’ll want that time back. They’re incredibly thoughtful and, frankly, an absolute joy.

The Deconstruction

Ah, Twin Peaks. The show that changed television forever, and one that has been hard to forget ever since. You’ve not been able to throw a golden shovel without hitting a Twin Peaks deep dive online in the last three decades, but occasionally one arrives and threatens to pull apart the backbone of its dreamscape for good.

Twin Perfect’s Rosseter turned in a Twin Peaks deep dive last October with a running time not for the faint of heart. His deconstruction of David Lynch’s endlessly puzzling mystery, supported by myriad quotes from its beloved co-creator, is over four-and-a-half hours long, but its length certainly hasn’t put off curious viewers – over a million people have already chosen to hear what Rosseter has to say about the real meaning behind Twin Peaks.

“Garmonbozia, the Black and White Lodges, Mike, Bob and the Little Man, Judy, Audrey and Charlie, Season 3’s ending… The mystery of Twin Peaks has survived for nearly 30 years… until now,” the video promises, which is a tease that even casual fans of the series can’t possibly resist. Their mileage may vary with the host’s loud impression of Lynch throughout the video, however, even as he produces what feels like a fairly accurate interpretation of Twin Peaks’ initial intentions, its ongoing message in the prequel film Fire Walk with Me, and a gut-punching look at 2017’s The Return.

Rosseter starts out by warning his audience that if they haven’t consumed all three Twin Peaks seasons and the film, they should consider stepping back until they have, which stands to reason: he’s about to spoil most of their various twists and turns. But he then goes on to say that die-hard Twin Peaks junkies should also reconsider watching the video, because after they’ve heard him out, they might never be able to look at Twin Peaks the same way again.

For many, the temptation to potentially peek behind the red curtain has been too great to ignore, and the comment section is filled with people who sat through the whole thing, having felt truly changed by the experience.

“David Lynch didn’t even know what this show was about until he saw this video,” someone joked, while another added more solemnly “I just feel regret. I appreciate the show on a whole other level but the haunting magic that it had for me is gone.”

One viewer thought that Rosseter’s comprehensive offering “may legitimately and unironically be one of the most intelligent and well-constructed videos ever put on YouTube,” but others hit the nail on the head when they realised that unwrapping Twin Peaks’ clues over the years had only led to one significant discovery: “we were controlling Twin Peaks the entire time.”

So, what’s at the heart of Rosseter’s theory? You may want to find out for yourself, and he certainly makes an incredibly detailed case for it. In this event, a brief explanation in the next paragraph will be a SPOILER.

While it’s common knowledge that David Lynch didn’t want to reveal who was responsible for killing Twin Peaks’ central victim, Laura Palmer, and that he was forced by TV bigwigs to wrap up the storyline and the investigation into her murder during Season 2 in late 1990, Rosseter posits that the reason we were never supposed to uncover the mystery of who ended her life and get closure on her death is because Lynch fundamentally believes that consumable TV violence is rotting our brains, and that’s why he created the series in the first place.

Still intrigued? Take a look…

The Discussion

Two-time Shorty Award winner Kristen Maldonado launched her YouTube channel in 2014 as a place where pop culture meets community, and she has the kind of drive, ambition and fast turnaround skills that make other creators look like they’re napping on the job, frankly.

While working as a social media manager for MTV, she’s used her YouTube platform to support women, diversity, and LGBTQ+ representation, discussing everything from the acknowledgement of Kat’s identity on The Bold Type, to the highs and lows of TV’s YA-skewed failures, emphasising the importance of why representation matters “on screen, behind the scenes, and critically.”

Along the way, she’s become a notable queen of deep dives, and not just where TV or movies are concerned – at one point she was even documenting her own musical journey on Spotify, where she was keen to bring attention to emerging artists. Discussing TV still feels like Maldonado’s reigning passion, though, and she usually explores her favorite shows in bite-sized segments that add up to a comprehensive look at their subjects.

One show she’s been extremely passionate about is the Charmed reboot, which she was beyond excited to see come to fruition on The CW. The fantasy drama series originally ran for eight seasons between 1998 and 2006, and CBS had tried and failed to reboot it before, but this time The CW intended to get the job done, bringing the story of magic and sisterhood back to TV and hoping to entice both fans of the old series and a new, younger audience.

The reboot was initially touted across industry trades as a project that would star three Latinx actresses, and that casting choice meant a lot to Maldonado. When news later emerged that only one of the new Charmed sisters would be played by a Latina actress, she posted a video addressing her feelings of confusion about how the show was originally announced, her disappointment that the roles wouldn’t be filled by three Latinx performers, and why series creators need to start using valuable representation opportunities properly.

Maldonado has covered the Charmed reboot comprehensively since it began in 2018, and this year has moved into livestreaming her reviews, switching from shorter videos to longer discussions about the episodes. If you’re a fan of Charmed, or any of the other series she covers (and there are quite a few) you might well find her channel to be an insightful addition to your subscription list.

The Takedown

Chances are, a TV show has pissed you off or upset you before. That Game of Thrones ending? Probably. Bobby Ewing stepping out of the shower? Sure. Quantum Leap? We’re not over it. Only a few of us take the time to make a video detailing just how upset we are about a show and upload it to YouTube, though.

Mike Stoklasa is likely to be a pretty familiar face to some of the Very Online movie and TV addicts reading these words. He’s the founder of production company RedLetterMedia, through which he’s been creating content and offering his desert-dry opinion on various facets of pop culture for well over a decade.

On YouTube, Stoklasa is regularly accompanied by cohorts Jay Bauman and Rich Evans as they take a hard look at some of their favorite films from the past, some of the worst straight-to-video movies of all time, and some of the bigger releases, too. He also voices a character called Mr. Plinkett, and when he does, viewers know that they’re about to peer screaming into the void, because ‘Mr. Plinkett’ does not hold back, especially when it comes to Star Wars or Star Trek.

Stoklasa is one of the most vocal Star Trek fans alive, and is known to consistently derail otherwise unconnected discussions with his Trek references, often explaining how Star Trek may have influenced the subject’s storytelling, and how it might have been – or should have been – a positive lesson from TV past.

To say that he’s not a fan of Star Trek’s fairly recent resurgence under the eye of executive producer Alex Kurtzman is probably an understatement. He covered CBS All-Access’ Star Trek: Discovery, a series that has, for the most part, chosen to abandon Trek’s previous lean towards standalone stories and episodes in favor of season-long arcs, and he seemed interested but trepidatious ahead of Star Trek: Picard’s arrival on the streaming service. But after the show had run its course, he uploaded a 94-minute takedown called ‘Mr. Plinkett’s Star Trek Picard Review’.

The broader world of YouTube takedowns is, objectively, a cesspool – misogyny, racism and homophobia have often run rampant – but Stoklasa has been in the business of keeping more of a constructive balance going for a long time, so when ‘Mr Plinkett’s’ review of Picard appeared online towards the end of May, anyone with even a little backstory on his recent problems with Trek’s TV universe suspected that the fresh adventures of the aging ex-Enterprise captain had finally pushed him over the edge …but they weren’t quite prepared for the ‘Dear John’ letter that ultimately arrived.

Whether you enjoyed Picard or not, Stoklasa makes some constructive points in his video review, and his breakup with the current Star Trek TV world is one for the ages.

The Art of More

If it’s the visual element of a TV show deep dive you’re into, YouTube has plenty to offer.

Art meets skill as Skip Intro takes a fascinating look at the editing behind David E. Kelley’s Big Little Lies, Ladyknightthebrave spends the best part of an hour pondering how Fleabag’s gimmick of breaking the fourth wall serves the show’s characters and story, and balancing ‘point of view’ vs ‘the big picture’ becomes the focus of Lost Thoughts’ It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Island.

Here, Thomas Flight explores how HBO’s award-guzzling Chernobyl became a masterclass in perspective…

We hope you found something worth your time in this piece, and writing it up wasn’t really an excuse to discover more of them, but it also wasn’t NOT an excuse to discover more of them. So, if you’ve found any notable examples to keep us busy, please direct our attention to them in the comments, thank you.

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