#Only the cool kids get their own fossils

[randomtheidiot]

Your worth as a U.S. state can be determined based on whether or not you have a state fossil.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Jessie's Girl

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Jessie Fleming x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: The Natural History Museum

The day that Magda and Pernille need to go to some fancy dinner to represent the club, is the same day they take you to the Natural History Museum in London.

Jessie told you about how she went weeks ago and it's all you've been talking about since.

You manage to wear Magda and Pernille down with all your talking until they finally relent and book tickets. You insist on Jessie coming too and, soon enough, you're all crammed on the Tube on your way to the museum.

You're sitting in Jessie's arms, squished like a sardine amongst all the other people. You insisted to your Morsa about booking the tickets at opening time so you could see absolutely everything which is why the Tube is packed right now and Jessie's holding you so you don't get swept away with the crowd.

Morsa's got one hand on the pole and the other on Momma's hip to keep her close as the doors open and more people pile off.

The Tube is loud. Very loud and it grates on your ears slightly so you duck yourself under the collar of Jessie's open jacket to try and block it out. You squeeze your eyes shut super tight too before it's finally your stop and the four of you pile off.

Jessie carries you all the way through the station before setting you on your feet again and letting you hold Momma's hand as you walk the rest of the way.

You're vibrating with excitement as Morsa gets the tickets scanned and then you're in.

It's your first time at a museum and, for a moment, you look like you're going to bolt so Pernille tightens her grip on your hand to make sure you can't escape.

The Natural History Museum is massive and Pernille knows just how easy it is to lose a little kid like you. You haven't hit your growth spurt yet so you're still on the shorter side and you would disappear amongst a big crowd like this too easily for her to be comfortable in letting go of your hand.

"What are you most looking forward to seeing, princesse?" Magda asks as you all stop in the middle of the hall to stare up in awe at the blue whale skeleton suspended from the ceiling.

"Er..." You think for a moment. "Dinosaurs! 'Cause Jessie says they're so cool!"

"Alright." Magda grabs a map from a pile nearby, unfolding it and studying it like Pernille hadn't caught her looking at the online version just last night. "I think we hit zone red first and go through all the stuff about volcanoes and rocks. Then we'll go to green zone and look at bugs and minerals. Then lunch and after that it should be about time for those tickets we booked for the spirit collection and then we'll round it off with mammals and dinosaurs and the gift shop. Sound good?"

Pernille laughs. "It's sweet that you've got everything planned out but I think our kids are already trying to plan out their own route." She tilts her head over to where you and Jessie (who has crouched down to be at your level) are discussing your own plans.

Magda sighs, lifting you up easily so you can't plan a mutiny on her and starts off towards the red zone.

"Morsa," You grunt," Wrong way! Dinosaurs!"

"Dinosaurs are last," Magda insists," Save the best until last."

You frown. "Like best bite last at dinner?"

"Exactly that," Magda says," We'll go look at rocks and volcanoes first and we'll work our way back to the dinosaurs. Sound good?"

You huff. "Fine."

Despite your original annoyance, you do find yourself enjoying the red zone and then the following green zone. Both you and Jessie are kept occupied for nearly fifteen minutes looking at the fossils of old ocean reptiles and Magda and Pernille rest their feet on a bench nearby.

At lunch, you and Jessie share a big bowl of mac and cheese and Pernille nearly laughs at how excited you both seem to explore the museum - even though Jessie went only a few weeks ago.

"Those are animals in jars," Pernille hisses to Magda during the spirit collection tour," We could be mentally scarring her right now."

"She loves it," Magda whispers back as you (and Jessie) listen, enamoured by what the guide is saying," Who knows? Maybe this is going to solve the problem of her wanting a pet. Nothing like a dead animal to put someone off of wanting a live one."

Pernille rolls her eyes. "You're evil. A pet wouldn't kill us."

"She's enough for us right now," Magda laughs.

By the time the mammal section rolls around, you're complaining of tired feet and Pernille swings you up onto her hip so you can rest and reads out the plaques to you.

Or, she tries to, because you keep interrupting to read them for yourself. You've gotten good at reading even though you're yet to go to school.

Magda insisted on starting you early, teaching you the basic principles of sounding out letters and phonetics to help you along.

Frankly, Pernille thinks it's frightening how intelligent you are at such a young age. You're Swedish and Danish bedtime storybooks are getting scarily easy for you to sound out and she shouldn't be surprised that you're applying the same rules to your English.

"What's that mean?" You ask, pointing at the italicised scientific name of the animal you're reading about.

"It's Latin," Pernille replies," Scientists use it to give a fancy name to different species."

"What's Latin?"

"It's a dead language," Jessie jumps in," No one speaks it anymore. It's just used to make scientists look smart."

You think for a moment. "Morsa calls me smart! Can I learn Latin, Momma?"

"Maybe when you're older," Pernille replies indulgently, not at all taking it seriously.

(She'll remember this conversation randomly when a letter comes home when you're sixteen asking if you could pretty please stop signing up for advanced Latin class because the teachers have nothing more to teach you).

Your feet have miraculously recovered from their aches and pains when you get to the dinosaur exhibit and Magda intervenes quickly when it looks like both you and Jessie are going to bolt.

She grabs you both by the hand and makes you fall into step with her.

"You stay where I can see you," She tells both of you equally," You hold each other's hands. You don't run ahead. If you can't hear me talking at a normal volume then you have gone too far ahead. You turn around and come straight back until you can hear me again."

"Yes, Magda."

"Yes, Morsa."

"Good. Remember your rules. Go and have fun."

Jessie shows you all of the dinosaurs, even down to the very little ones and you listen with rapt attention.

It's the slowest Magda and Pernille have seen you move all day, just taking everything in and hanging off Jessie's every word.

You almost don't want to leave and only the promise of a dinosaur at the giftshop gets you to move your legs again.

You browse for a while and so does Jessie, piling her arms up high with dinosaur merch. Magda, admittedly, knew that Jessie was a nerd in the best way possible but this only solidified it.

"No, princesse," Pernille says firmly when she sees you jumping to reach a jumbo triceratops plushie that said it cost sixty pounds," That's too expensive."

"Momma," You whine," Please?"

"I'm sorry," She says," But you know there's a budget on gift shop toys. What does your Morsa say about gift shops?"

"That they're stupidly overpriced and tourist traps for idiots," You repeat dutifully, sounding more and more like Magda that Pernille has to laugh.

"That's right," She says," So pick out something smaller so your Morsa doesn't complain about being conned out of money for the entire train ride home."

You huff in annoyance but ultimately choose an arctic wolf plushie because it's got super soft fur.

It's only twenty pounds but Magda still grumbles under her breath about gift shops being stupidly overpriced.

"Jessie," Magda says as you and her step out of the giftshop," What the hell is that?"

Jessie, at least, is feeling enough guilt to look down bashfully. "It's for y/n."

"Jessie," Magda says again," That's massive."

It's the triceratops you were eyeing up earlier and you nearly take Jessie to the ground from the force of the hug you give her.

You sit in Jessie's lap during the (much emptier) train ride home and you crash out asleep for your very delayed midday nap.

You stay asleep when you change trains. You stay asleep during the car ride and you stay asleep as Magda and Pernille get ready for their dinner tonight.

Jessie's your babysitter for the hours that they're gone for and you wake up as Magda and Pernille are a few minutes away from leaving.

"Momma," You whine," Don't go."

While your separation anxiety isn't as bad when you've been told in advance about things, it's still present and you still sniffle a little as your mothers gives you goodnight hugs and kisses because you'll be tucked up in bed by the time they get back.

You still sitting in front of the front door with Momma's Linköping jumper and Morsa's blanket.

For half an hour, Jessie doesn't understand how to help you. She's been warned about this explicitly, about how much you miss Magda and Pernille when they're gone.

She thought she would be fine but it's clear that this isn't something she can fully pull you out of.

So, Jessie turns on the tv, playing a random animated movie and just sits with you for support.

Somewhere along the way, you wiggle into her lap, leaning your back against her front and holding her hands around your belly for security.

"Do you want a drink?" Jessie asks quietly.

It takes hours for her to coax you into being a bit more like yourself, gradually shifting further and further away from the door until you're both sitting on the sofa again.

You're lying on Jessie's front, head lying pillowed on her chest as you stare longingly at the door.

One of Jessie's hands is under your top, gently drawing patterns on your back while the other plays with the little baby hairs you have at the base of your scalp.

It's nice. Not quite like how Morsa and Momma do it but enough for it to make you go all limp and boneless in her arms.

It's dark when Magda and Pernille come in from their dinner. Magda drove so Pernille was able to get a little tipsy on just one too many wines.

It's dark. The moon and stars are out but the light in the front room is open and the tv is still blaring some random show that's being shown gone one in the morning.

Jessie's asleep on the sofa, still in the clothes she worse to the museum. One of her hands is dangling on the floor, her knuckles skimming the carpet while the other is wrapped around your back.

You're still in your museum clothes too but you look perfectly content and happy, fast asleep on Jessie's chest.

[sabi0229]

Darius HeadCannons:

He loved Mac and Cheese so much he refused to eat anything other than that for months as a kid

Would scare Brandon by leaving Dinosaur figures in front of his face when he woke up, walk up behind him and have his dinosaurs bite him

Him and his dad were such big Dinosaur nerds that his mom made their phone contacts Dadsaures and Sonsaures.

When Darius was a child his parents would put Dinosaurs fossils in the backyard for him to dig up

Stays up until 6 in the morning playing video games

When kenji moved in with them Darius convinced Kenji to prank Brand with him

His fave color is yellow ( the boy has a yellow jacket in Jwcc and Jwct)

He loves grape juice

Is very oblivious and dense

Played soccer

Cut his own hair once as a toddler that when his mom saw she started to cry so much that his dad came upstairs and laughed his ass off, While Brand, just stood there.

He lives in a two storie house

Had a shark phase but went back to Dinosaurs after 3 months or so

When Ben visited he would make sure everything is extra clean and they would stay up watching movies and fall asleep in each other's arms because they were too lazy to move and kenji snapped a pic and bullies them about it to this day

When Darius first saw Ben with long hair and a beard he said out loud Shaggy and Ben looked behind him confused

Darius would braid Bens hair for fun

When Darius would hang out with Brooklynn they would make fun TikToks

He loves mint chip, banana , and bubble gum ice cream

Loves blue slushes

Gets sick a lot before nublar ( that's what you get for staying up late playing video games)

He definitely sprained some part of his body with all those falls and getting slammed into trees

one day at camp he didn't leave Roxies side at all so he won't get into anymore trouble and Roxie was unbothered by it but Dave kept making his jokes

He listens to Dave's Demos to remember what he and Roxie sounded like

When he was stuck with Kash he would hum to himself to fall asleep ( where did he sleep like so many questions there are for when Darius was with kash)

Looks a lot like his dad ( prove me wrong in the flashback he's a mini Fredrick )

He mostly took after his dad but picked up his mom sarcasm

When he is just done with someone ( kenji) he starts rollin his eyes so much that his eyes hurt

While he was in the DPW he practiced some crazy car tricks to chase after dinosaurs but his mom would't let him practice alone so she made Kenji go with him so he doesn't get hurt. Darius got the hang of his cool car tricks while Kenji is traumatized and won't let Darius ever drive again if their in the same car, ever

Darius wakes up in the middle of night puts on his dinosaur onesie goes downstairs and watches all his favorite dinosaur movies

His favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry and caramel in chaos theory he still likes bubblegum and banana ice cream but decided that he didn't like mint chocolate chip anymore

Is a introvert

He dyed his hair once

When he was a child ( elementary age) he would go to Brands room and night to steal all his blankets so when brand woke up he would go to Darius room to sleep with him because Darius never wanted to get in Brands bed because he sweats too much.

Is a biter

he bit kenji once

Ate a grub once because he lost a bet with Ben. But only he knows about it

Will be making more soon

[spirintom]

💜Sampo headcanons

Sooo... I wanted to try to wright something about characters i love so i decided to do 2 in 1 - art plus headcanons fot it

~Ordinary day in Belobog~

It's just some fluff silly headcanons. Hope you'll love it!

💜 Sampo's morning always starts not with coffee, not with social media, but with checking turnip prices in Animal Crossing.  

Seriously. He doesn't worry that much about his own budget, how he keeps an eye on his bank account in the game. Sampo knows the prices for EVERYTHING: bugs, fish, fossils, fruits, etc. He sells it with incredible efficiency, but doesn't pay a single penny to Tom Nook (the merchant simply hates this raccoon, but respects him for how skillfully he can push another loan or charge money for some service). 

💜 After finishing all the virtual "megaimportantyoudon’trunderstand" tasks, Sampo puts on his cozy bathrobe, slippers with Hannah Montana (even aeons don't know where he managed to dig up merchandise originally for kids of such size. His foot isn’t small after all...) and goes to bathroom. After fixing his hair, brushing his teeth, and applying a super shiny fancy mask, the merchant goes to the kitchen. 

💜 Surprisingly, Sampo cooks well. Especially simple dishes. 

💜 During breakfast, he always watches something. Most often it's TV series. God, I'm 100% sure that Sampo loves shows about the double life of pop stars (especially the mentioned above Montana). Romantic melodramas, cosplay videos, game reviews - that's his thing too. 

💜 What he can't stand, though, is true crime videos and all sorts of creepypastas. He's really hates all that descriptions of bloody scenes, violence, and worse - rape. Sampo can't even sleep at night after that. Not that he's scared, but he feels bad inside. 

💜 Later in the day, between tasks, the merchant likes to sit in some secluded spot in the upper part of Belobog and look around. It's his kind of meditation. Watching the peaceful, monotonous flow of life around him, Sampo gets distracted from his problems. 

💜 People walk back and forth in the streets, clouds float in the sky, and a cool breeze blows on his face - that means everything is good, the world hasn't collapsed yet, everything can be fixed. Everything will be fine. 

💜 Sampo gets especially cheered up when he sees familiar faces in the crowd. For some reason, I think he really appreciates the crew of the Star Express. And every time he sees Stella/Kelus, March 7, Dan Han, or familiar faces from Belobog, he brightens up. (well, only if it's not Gepard, coming to arrest his poor ass). 

💜 At the end of the day, after playing hide-and-seek with Gepard and a couple of other guards, arguing with stubborn clients, and a bunch of other not-so-pleasant work, Sampo comes home completely exhausted. But he remembers the unsold scorpions in Crossing, the episode he missed in the morning, and drags himself first to the bathroom, and then to bed. There's a whole night ahead. Which means there's still time to goof around and dedicate time to little silliness and joys. He can still borrow energy from the next day anyway... 

(sorry if there are mistakes. It's first time i'm writing on english😢)

[fishrights69]

My Top 5 GARBAGE fish that suck

Here we go again. After receiving a very high ammount of notes!! (61 UwU) on the last fish list, here's another top 5 no one asked for. I've tried to use the reasoning of ''all fish are good'' but let's be honest, we'd be better off without these. 5. Monkfish��

So these things are weird as hell. Their ugliness alone landed them on this list. Not only are they ugly as shit, but they're also mean motherfuckers that eat basically anything. They like to cover themselves in mud and just chill there until something crosses their path which imo is fucking lazy. Some people do eat them as a delicacy apparently(ew?). Props to them for getting over the looks. Ugly/10 5/10 for laziness 4.Hairy Frog Fish💇‍♀️

If you wonder wtf are you looking at, this fish is the living embodiment of that feeling you get when you find hair in your food. This girlie loves to swallow as it's mouth can open to make space for fish almost twice her size so don't go sitting too close 💦 Still, it doesn't take away from the fact that she looks like a mistake. 4/10 appearance 8/10 for the deep throating skills 3. Goblin Shark 👺

First of all, these sharks look like if someone designed a fish based on a child's drawing of a shark. Instead of going the terrifying route and choosing one of these pictures, I opted for a derpy yet still creepy photo. Besides being quite good at ambushing prey, these dudes still tend to eat man made garbage which further argues their position on ''the garbage fish top5™''. They also are basically living fossils since they're old af and most of their body is atrophied. 3/10 appearance 6/10 for still living so long despite everything.

2.Bony-Eared Assfish🍑

This fish is for all ass obsessed fuckers. Grilling this baby and enjoying it counts as eating ass. Some cool facts about him: -The bony-eared assfish has the smallest brain-to-body weight ratio out of all vertebrates. -Assfish are soft and flabby with a light skeleton (so like a real ass) As for personality, they are not what I'd call assholes. They are quite sluggish as they prefer to sort of flap around with short bursts of energy instead of swim. They don't do much besides that which makes them a very underwhelming fish despite the sexy name :( Apparently they were given this name to make up for how utterly boring they are. 2/10 appearance 1/10 Interest in them or what they are good for (spoiler, nothing)

If you're a fish enthusiast, you probably know what's coming at nr.1 🥁 🥁 1. Ocean Sunfish☀️

There are far, faar too many reasons for this fish to be on the first spot. Not only are they the dumbest fish in the whole world, but they also are not good swimmers AT ALL (wtf is with these poorly designed fish who cannot swim??). Scientists are still perplexed at how this fish continues to stay alive. If you want more shitty facts about them, here's a link to a very famous post trashing these bitches. BUT, I have my very own reason to hate the sunfish. One cursed morning, I decided to go get educated about animals and visit Naturalis, a museum in Leiden, The Netherlands. I was having a blast looking at all the beautiful animals showcased, along with the cool facts and atmosphere. I excitedly get to the aquatic creatures floor and mesmerised, I try to take in all the beauty. At the long corridor nearing the exit, I look around admiring the fish that were displayed. Thinking I had seen it all, I move further when I turn a corner and out of nowhere.. . . . . . . . BAM

this GIANT motherfucker, hidden in a corner makes it's presence known. I'm not kidding when I say this thing is huge. Here's a picture of the replica from another angle for size reference. As you can guess, I was legit extremely spooked and actually screamed. :( 0/10 appearence 0/10 fuck this thing. useless and it gave me a heart attack

BONUS: I'm sorry but I think I've tortured myself and you enough, so to make up for it, here's a cute fishy instead: (take him)

Alright thanks for reading and follow for more fish content. Suggest me some more top5's I could do, be it fish related, or whatever your mind decides to curse me with. Still need to cleanse yours eyes? My top 5 coolest fish

[herrenxenoberg]

Fandorm Showcase #4 - The Emperor's New Groove

Okay, a bit of a funny thing I did with these dorms is that they're made to be a kind of parallel to the main seven dorms in terms of vibe or theme. So, the fact this would have a similar plotline to Scarabia's story is just too good to not bring it up.

Presenting the magnificent dorm inspired by the Emperor's New Groove...

Aztesurco!

The name is taken from Aztec (the overall ethnicity of the movie) and surco (which is groove in quechuan), and it's mostly inspired by Yzma, the main villain of the movie.

"Heh, really rolls off the tongue huh?"

This dorm centers around having eccentricity and flair, as well the intelligence and strategic mind to boot. They also specializes in transfiguration potionology and spells, which requires skilled alchemy knowledge or magical prowess to achieve in order to become the housewarden. However...that rule doesn't seem to apply with the current presiding housewarden.

"Why do you even need to meet the requirements? Clearly only one dude gets the job done, and it's yours truly!"

"A dorm founded on the eccentric advisor's spirit of ambition. Students in this dorm all have their own groove and ambitions to be on top."

"Oh sure, make it all about that wrinkly old fossil of a woman, as if she's any greater..."

Requirements and Traits:

"Someone get me a marker, I'm making some changes to this list!"

Have knowledge in alchemy and advanced spellcasting No need for all that mumbo-jumbo

Eccentric and full of personal groove Eh, I'll let this one slide.

Able to handle responsibilities and tasks properly with careful planning Boooooorrrring~

Just be as cool as I am!

Be the greatest future emperor!

Onto the dorm uniform desigsn:

For this dorm, I wanted to keep the color palette close to Yzma as possible while also incorporating some designs of Kuzco into the main housewarden fit. (Cuz spoilers, the housewarden is the Kuzco of this dorm)

"Not a bad fit, if I do say so myself~"

Now introducing the character roster...

The ever-so-amazing housewarden of Aztesurco...

"Boom baby! It is yours truly!"

Khuno Nisqa! (Twisted off Emperor Kuzco)

Future emperor of the sun empire!

Khuno is...a very eccentric kid his whole life. Everything he can ask for is served on a silver platter due to his background of the only remaining royal heir of the Nisqa family after the previous emperor (his late father) of the Sun Empire passed away due to illness. Because of this spoiled lifestyle, he has prided himself of always be in charge of everything and everyone else under his jurisdiction. He is the first ever NRC student to be a housewarden on the first semester, which is freshmen year. He didn't have to do anything or follow a rule, he was simply given the role by flaunting his wealth and status to Crowley. Unlike Kalim, he's very self-absorbed and prideful in his rich and royal status, and would abuse said status to get what he wants. Because, clearly, nobody gets that he will be on top no matter the costs. But it did gain a seething hatred from his second-hand advisor and vice housewarden...

"A bit of a complex way to say it, but yeah, I'm great!...What was that last part?"

Notable Members:

Yves Pocion (Vice Housewarden, Junior) - Khuno's long-time royal advisor for the Nisqa family for years...until Khuno's dismissal of his advisor role to someone new due to the fact he's "passed his prime", causing a deep-seeded hatred for the young heir. (Twisted off Yzma)

Masi Yanuy (Sophomore) - A thick-headed bimbo who is Yves's friend and loyal servant that can always cook up nice meals for any occasion despite his lack of brains. (Twisted off Kronk)

Miyu Donna (Sophomore) - A venomous individual that spites anyone who irritates them in the slightest, but shows a side of interest for Yves's ideas. (Twisted off the llama extract/poison for Kuzco)

"Hah hah, what a cast, amirite?"

Synopsis:

Winter break is almost over (and thankfully another Overblot crisis averted in Scarabia), our main protagonists have stepped into another problem before school officially reopens in spring. Their Ramshackle building is at risk of being turned into a summer home thanks to the spoiled brat of a housewarden of Aztesurco, Khuno Nisqa, and have to do whatever it takes to protect their only accommodation. Meanwhile, the vice housewarden of Aztesurco, Yves Pocion, is plotting in the background to take down the spoiled heir because of his disregard for his years of wasted life with the help of his bumbling friend, Masi Yanuy.

Chaos ensues on both sides of the situation, all because of a simple potion mix-up...

(Occurs between after Book 4 and before Book 5)

As I said before, the plotline for this one is similar to Scarabia's but involves a lot more risks, which is like the perfect parallel.

"Hey, don't just ignore me!"

That is all for Aztesurco's introduction! See you in the next fandorm showcase!

"I'm still relevant, right?"

Next Up: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

(This will be explained when the showcase post is up)

[bellybiologist]

Having Sad Winter Thoughts

So wanted to reminisce about an event that I've always kept close to my heart concerning my late mother (tho she didn't play much of an active part, tbh!)

She was a collector (hot wheels, barbies, Peanuts merch... and a variety of collectable trading cards that circulated before I was born), and she always encouraged my brother and I to keep what we had in good condition because "it could be worth something later". And back before we could make our own money and when she'd buy us anything collectable, like our Pokemon cards, she'd ask us for any Repeats to keep for herself.

I always remembered the old Lego-like wipes box (Chubs Stackables, its called) that she used to keep her Pokemon cards in because of a story that I never forgot.

Pokemon came to America when i was seven, and Cards came out shortly afterward. Us kids were understandably nuts about it, so much so that I still remember an announcement in my elementary school that was banning them outright on school grounds, stereotypically pronouncing them as "Pokey man cards."

We lived in a cul de sac at the time with a bunch of other military families (dad was in the airforce). It was very Ed Edd n Eddy where we knew and interacted with a lot of the kids, and their parents were more a Concept than a reality. So of course, when fads hit, it swept through the street like wildfire. We all were into pokemon.

Even as a seven year old, baby Verzi had her "White Whales" when it came to collecting, cuz the thing I actually want is never easy to get apparently!

For those who were there, you'd remember that the first 151 pokemon were released in 3 sets (Base, Jungle, and Fossil). And in Jungle, my favorite pokemon ever and forever, Butterfree, was released! It was uncommon, so surely, it wouldnt be too difficult. find, right?

Incorrect!!!!!

It took me a good year or so to find, and it drove me fucking insane because when you're little, any small amount of time feels like an eternity!!! But the point of this story takes place earlier. One of the neighborhood kids, an older one who was probably 10-12ish. had an extra butterfree. I coveted it and wanted to trade. He asked for my rare, non-holo Nidoqueen (some rares had holo and non-holo versions. Just to be extra mean. Always remember trading cards are an evolutionary stepping stone to bad gacha games!).

But!! I only had one of those.

But x2!!! I remembered I pulled a duplicate and gave it to my mother.

So i had one of those moments after-school specials had. "Am I gonna steal from my kind and hardworking mother to fulfill my Greedy Little 7/8 year old fantasies??" The answer was yes, though it took a lot of back and forth because back when my mother was younger, she had eyes like a hawk for anything out of place. This woman made sure no one went into her shit in her room. Luckily, she kept her card box in a place that was easily accessible outside (the kitchen counter).

So i went into her blue, little box and took the Nidoqueen I had given her, and made the trade.

I was happy for a good bit, and the butterfree looked so beautiful in my 3 ring card binder! but then the guilt set in. It was crippling.

It only took a couple days before I couldn't take it anymore. So I went back to Older Neighborhood kid. Luckily, Older Neighborhood Kid was cool and let us trade backsies.

Then I secretly slipped the Nidoqueen back into my mom's collection box.

I am 95% sure she never found out, as she wasn't keeping a detailed log of the cards, but I always felt this was a character defining point for me. 😏

I thought about this recently, because in another fit of I Miss my Mom, I had actually found her old card collection box and spent some time going through it.

Unfortunately, the Nidoqueen of my Memory was not present. It could've disappeared for any number of reasons, as it has been ~25 years, several moves, and other events that caused a lot of my mom's stuff to disappear or be thrown away...

But at the very bottom, i found this.

So either I or my brother was able to get her butterfree at some point. 😌 (actual jungle set too! look at the little flower at the bottom right of the card art~)

I honestly have no idea where my own pokemon card collection is. My younger cousins raided and stole a lot of them back when i was in high school, and it never recovered. But I do not know where the remnants are. I'm still in the years-long process of getting through all of the stuff in my apartment and I'm hoping I come across it.

But I'm happy to know i have this card though. My mom's butterfree.

[milfholder]

Thanks Carla @helaenalyst for tagging me! 💪

Do you make your bed?

- When I clean my sheets/comforter or have people over, yes. Otherwise no because the dog will hog the bed and I won’t have any blankets for myself.

Favorite number?

Anything divisible by 3! But maybe 27 is a cool one? When I was a kid my favorite number was always my age.

Job?

-I am a graduate student studying paleontology who gets paid to teach human osteology to undergraduates.

If you could go back to school, would you?

-After I get PhD and doing my post-doc? Yes, because I love school. It’s part of why I want to stay a teacher! It’s an environment that suits me.

Can you parallel park?

-In theory. I know how, but I just got this car so I avoid it because I know I am prone to errors.

Do you think aliens are real?

-I think they could be real, but our brains have a difficult time imagining what they’d actually look and behave like because we only have our own planet to go off of. Realistically the evolution of life on other planets wouldn’t necessarily be like us at all.

Can you drive a manual car?

-No, I have only been driving for a few years and I learned with automatic and drive an automatic.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

-I don’t feel guilty about the things I enjoy but me and the roommate have been watching Vanderpump Rules together and I’m hooked.

Tattoos?

3! An octopus on my chest, lily of the valley on my leg, and a semicolon with birds on my wrist. I also eventually want to start getting fossils when I’m cured of my broke-itis.

Favorite color?

-Red orange or forest green.

Do you like puzzles?

-I am a puzzle warrior!!! I like sudoku, flow, and crosswords mostly but I like using puzzles that come in a box too. I usually just don’t have a big flat surface to put them lol.

Any phobias?

-I only have one.

Favorite childhood sport?

-Being on the bowling team in high school kinda ruled, I won’t lie.

Do you talk to yourself?

-All the fucking time, especially when I’m alone. I don’t realize I’m doing it half the time. I think out loud throughout the day.

I tag @flanfrog @stinkbeck @velvetys @binglam @beevito @whitechalkbaphomet @crenandos @lucinaswife @relelvance @endofsuccession and @knittinglizards

[jogabsha]

About me!

Hiiii everyone. Haven’t made a post like this in a long time (if ever cause I don’t remember lol).

My name is Jogabsha! Not my real name obviously but it’s a nickname I’ve used since around the time I was 5. I’m currently 17 but 18 in about a month in October!

I have a little sister ( @puppyie-innit! :D)! Kinda accepted her as my sister when we met a couple years ago and have been inseparable since! She’s also part of the agere community and a lot of you probably found me cause she tags me a lot lolol. Oh also I’m her CG!

My goals in life are pretty simple. I want to own a C3 corvette (hoping to get a 1982 later this year so the goal will be done!), I want to build my own house in a place with mountains and vast pine forests, I want to get my doctorate in paleontology, and I want to discover and name my own species! I also wanna research Acrocanthosaurus because it’s one of my favorite dinosaurs!

I have adhd/ocd and believe I may be on the spectrum but haven’t gotten evaluated yet!

I’m an artist! Specifically I do a lot of paleoart!

I was that one kid who only ever watched documentaries growing up (though I did watch a bunch of other shows in my childhood too)!

Things I like!

I’m absolutely OBSESSED with dinosaurs and paleontology and prehistory!

My favorite color is like this lighter shade of blue that I don’t remember the name of

I love the walking with dinosaurs series and all its offshoot shows and specials. My absolute favorites are chased by dinosaurs and sea monsters, both with Nigel Marvin!

My favorite color combo is blue and orange

My favorite color gradient is blue to yellow to orange!

I love C3 corvettes and it’s my dream car!

I love playing video games on stream! I do this on YouTube usually on weekends under the same name!

I play multiple instruments! Mainly piano but also guitar, and a little bit of flute and ukulele. I’ve even composed some of my own songs on piano which I’ve uploaded to my second channel. It also has Jogabsha in the username so it should be easy to find but I’ll link it in my bio too!

I love learning new stuff. I will spend an entire day watching video essays and documentaries on stuff I’ve never even heard of before!

I love dinosaur revolution. It’s got really good storytelling for a documentary and I love the way they told stories based on actual fossil specimens!

I absolutely ADORE dinosaur king. Grew up on that show and I have over $3.5k worth of cards and collectibles from that franchise.

I love undertale sm. I have every song in the game memorized. I also love deltarune to the same degree!

About this blog

This is entirely meant for just me posting my art and my hyper-fixations. I also might repost my sister or paleontology posts every now and then.

This is a safe space for the agere community because my sister and I are both a part of it. Absolutely NO sexualization or anything of the sort here please!

There will also be no violent speech/hate speech/politics/name calling/bullying on anything related to this blog. This is a space where I want people to come and just nerd out with me on cool topics. I don’t care who those people are or what they believe, and you shouldn’t be hung up on that stuff either.

This blog is safe for ALL ages. Please be mindful of that when you decide to interact with my posts.

Thanks for reading through this! Will probably add more to it as time goes on but this ai good for now. Hope you all enjoy the Dino-nerd posting!

[butterfrogmantis]

I remembered your Harmony x Jokey fanfic where we are also shown that the Smurfs have parents, and this makes me wonder... How did Archie and Pal react when they found out that they are brothers?

If you like, you can also tell us the reactions of the textile trio or other smurfs when they find out that they are family ;)

I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WAS HALFWAY THROUGH TYPING UP MY EXPLANATION WHEN I DISCOVERED A PLOT HOLE IN MY OWN AU SO THANKS AND ALSO I SHALL COME BACK TO THAT IN A BIT *** <--- point of explanation

This was semi explored in the Archie & Skelly fic! :)

Translation because Archie has a mega thick dialect: (it's not me, Yorkshire people just speak like that /aff)

"Pal was actually tha first to dig up anything. It was weird growing up in the village, we didn’t have parents obviously -  I mean we had Papa as a sort of authority figure but he was too busy splitting his attention amongst 100 kids to be anybody’s “dad” dad – but anyway Smurfs have this weird instinct when it comes to relatives. We knew even before we got our ancestry folders a little while back that me and Pal were surely related. Back then I looked out for him as an older brother should, he was a shy kid – shyer than he is now, in fact. And if I weren’t playing with Miner I’d take him to the beach. One day he dug up this weird tooth, thought it was from some prehistoric creature! After that I couldn’t stop him digging up fossils every chance he got”

My Smurfs have a bit of a weird instinctual knowledge when it comes to relatives even without parents present in the Smurfverse. In-universe explanation is magic, out of universe explanation ... well a few of my Smurfs date as teens and I did not want accidental incest thank you lol. So even though they get their ancestry files as adults the kids generally can tell if someone is their brother or cousin etc.

It gets less strong once you go past second cousins so like, Wrangler and Sower feel the familial tie but Tuffy and Skelly not so much beng Great X5 uncle/nephew. Of course Smurfs do live much longer than humans so a Smurf having a Smurfling young who has a smurfling young and so forth could potentially meet descendants a much longer way down a line than normal! .. but Skelly and Tuffy are still a bit too far for that they only really have 'similar mannerisms' which brings about the theories.

So the folders thing kind of puts their mind at ease but certainly isn't a major surprise for anyone :) Archie and Pal would have always felt a close pull, Spinner and Weaver could tell their pull was closer than Tailor's so they could distinguish between sibling and cousin.

*** THIS WAS THE POINT WHERE I REALISED MY PRESTABLISHED HC'S MEAN THAT WRANGLER SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WOOLY IS HIS BIO DAD

I think my only explanation as of right now is that Wrangler is an idiot, felt the bio pull and went 'well this is dad's best friend and my cool unka so of course he feels like family to me :)' because Wrangler is like nine years old in Smurf years and not very smart.

Congrats you broke me /lh Foiled by my OWN logic.

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 1996

EL SID! 

THE POTENTIAL IS ABOUT TO BE TAPPED

By Vince Russo

In the early 1990s I just didn’t buy it. This man didn’t belong in anyone’s shadow. Especially a champion who had by far seen his better days. In my opinion, I will always view WrestleMania VIII as a disappointment. It should have been Sid's day… Sid’s year… and Sid’s era. Instead, a voodoo man, a Warrior, and immaturity crashed and ruined his party, thus forcing him almost into obscurity.

In 1992, at WrestleMania VIII, Sid Eudy should’ve, would’ve and could’ve beat Hulk Hogan. He was bigger, stronger, faster and smarter than the then champion. Unfortunately, in his own words, he was not ready for the “big time”. A hometown boy from Arkansas, Sid was not quite prepared for the lights, cameras and action of the World Wrestling Federation. As a matter of fact, before a deserved rematch could have even be issued, Sid had already packed his bags and headed back to “Razorback Country”.

After some extensive soul searching, a more grown-up, seasoned Sid made his comeback to the World Wrestling Federation three years later in 1995. Little did he know that the hurdle that would stand in his way this time was not himself, but rather something that would be far beyond his control. His “greenery” was small potatoes when compared to the professional jealousy that Sid would have to overcome in order to get to the place he wanted to be… the top. Kids, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–WRESTLING = SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT = BIG BUSINESS = POLITICS and with politics comes jockeying for position. Yes, there are many Willie Shoemakers at TitanSports, both outside…and INSIDE the ring. When Sid made his long awaited return, those who ruled the ring at the time may have been intimidated by him… in more ways than one. He was the new kid on the block, not to mention the new “BIGGER” kid. Fans immediately began cheering him because he was “cool,” and that became threatening to many of his peers. I was at Monday Night Raw in Macon, Georgia, on  February 20, 1995, when Sid debuted as the new bodyguard of Shawn Michaels. To say the place became an asylum would be an understatement! When Sid made his way down that aisle, the patients went beyond CRAZY! They ripped off their strait-jackets and got ready to rock! 

Folks, to certain individuals–THIS WAS NOT GOOD.

“Warning, warning, Will Robionson. An intruder is looking to steal our spotlight!” That’s right, IN MY OPINION, a certain number of Sid’s peers may have been shaking in their boots. If Eudy were, by chance, to become more popular than them, it would be devastating… devastating to their egos, of course, NOT to the business as a whole! So, in more ways than one, they saw to it that Sid was buried. And, buried he was. Left out to rot… fossilize… chum for the maggots.

For the next six months, Sid would lie low. IN MY OPINION, he had become a victim of “circumstance”. For understandable reasons, he may have become sour with the business. The politics seemed to have pushed him into the “could have been” category. He even went so far as to announce his retirement from the squared circle. If this truly was the case, then it would be nothing short of a tragedy. A wasteful loss not only to the World Wrestling Federation, but to the business as a whole. 

But wait, at the end of the tunnel you could hear the firing of a match. Yes, there was light.

The balance of power shifted among the ranks of the World Wrestling Federation, largely due to the almighty buck. Those who may have buried Sid earlier were not being buried themselves in a gushing flood of undeserving greenbacks. Remember, those who tore Sid down behind his back said it was for the “good of the company”. Well, my question is, “Where was the ‘good of the company’ when you were negotiating behind the boss’ back?!”

You  know what, scratch that. I’m not going to get up on my soapbox because that is not what this commentary is about. This commentary is about SID. And, for the reasons I am about to mention, I strongly believe that Sid’s time has arrived!!!

Along with Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels is probably the most “confident” individual I have ever known. He doesn’t worry about the “threat” of others overthrowing his Kliq because as the World Wrestling Federation Champion he realizes what he brings to the dance. He doesn’t have to tear down others to build himself up, because he already is the tallest skyscraper in the city! He has no shortcomings. Nothing to hide or protect. He has the belief in himself that no man is  going to knock him off his perch. It’s the security of himself. Shawn Michaels knows that Sid is good for the “business”. He’s a monster with a personality and people will pay money to see him! Sid will help everybody–including Shawn Michaels–in the long run.

With Shawn Michaels on top, there is no question in my mind that Sid’s time is NOW! Politics can take a beat seat and let him do the driving! The potential has only thus far been tapped… but now it will EXPLODE!!! 

Yes, Sid Eudy just may soon… “RULE THE WORLD”!

[nobodyimportant41]

"The Ice cream flavors legacy challenge"

Its been A WHILE since i write down a legacy challenge,but that doesn't mean that i don't want to write more! I just can't figure out ideas for legacies...and then i had this idea!

General rules:

You can choose the lifespan of your choice or change it with MCCM

Sims can look whatever you want but they MUST reflect their personality

Heir sims MUST represent their flavor color(s) in their clothes,hair AND house,but they can have natural skintones (like NSB)

You can't use cheats,mods and/or Cc ONLY for an unfair advantage unless for storytelling

Sims who aren't heirs can have random or selected traits

Requiered* packs:

(*Of course, you can change this to fit your packs)

EP: Cottage Living (gen 1), Horse ranch (gen 2), Cats and dogs (gen 3), Discover university (gen 4), Be famous (gen 5 and 7), for rent (gen 8 and 9) Get to work (gen 9) and Eco living (gen 1 and 10)

GP: Parenthood (gen 4) and vampires (gen 9)

Gen 1;Strawberry:

Story: you grew up in the big city of San Myshuno because one of your parent was a VERY IMPORTANT politician. You hated it! They were much more focused in their work that you were mostly alone watching TV,painting animals,dreaming with farms...And mostly spending time chatting to your friends online.

When you discovered that your parents were signing you to heredate the power of your parent you decided to escape. Of course,they were (A LOT) of better ideas than going to where you went... but you will fight to become a farmer!

Traits:

Childish

Frigan

Outgoing

Objetives:

Complete the Countryside caretaker aspiration

Max the painting and cross stiching skills

Max the painter career (any branch)

Complete the postcards collection

Adopt at least one of your kids

All your kids must have the "happy infant" and "top-notch toddler" extra traits

Own a rainbow cow

Gen 2;Chocolate:

Story:You had a very happy childhood since you had a loving family! But in school...things were REALLY different. You were mostly alone because of your VERY competitive personality. So you spend the days thinking about how COOL of a horse rider you would be!

As an adult,you only want two things:Become THE BEST horse rider and create a SUPER COOL VIRUS to revenge of the people who ignored you!

Traits:

Rancher

Horse lover

Loyal

Objetives:

Max the Championship Rider aspiration

Max the riding and programming skills

Max the tech guru career

When you unlock the option,ONLY create virus

Find your partner through an enemies to lovers story

Gain an atrocious reputation

Complete the fossils collection

Win at least 10 competitions

Gen 3;Lemon:

Story:Your parents were way too busy with their work to care about you and, at school NOBODY wanted to talk with you because of your family reputation. So,you had to spend the most of the time alone,cooking. But with dogs things are complety different since they can't judge you!

As an adult you decide that your dream job is being a veterinarian! So you decide to open your own vet clinic! Of course, you have to pay the bills, so you to start working as a chef. At first,you didn't really liked it. But you end up LOVING IT!

Traits:

Dog lover

Soccially akward

Ambicious

Objetives:

Complete the friend of the animals aspiration

Max the cooking and vet skills

Max the culinary career (any branch) and own a 5 stars vet clinic (after you max it, you can leave your career)

Teach all the tricks to your dog(s)

Don't have any friends until becoming a teen and DON'T become friends with classmates

Complete the feathers collection

When you move out,don't talk to your parents ever again

All your pets must be strays

Gen 4;Mint:

Story:If there if a word that describes you,its DEFINETLY strict. You don't care about anything more than laws and order. You want EVERYTHING to be perfect,especially your family. Since you always expecting more than people can do, you always end up fighting with them. You loved them, but its really hard for you to show it to them. Will you stay as focused in your work as now or you will try to save the family? Knowing you,you will choose the first option.

Traits:

Perfeccionist

Neat

Glommy

Objetives:

Complete the succesfull lineage aspiration

Max the research and debate and parenting skills

Max the lawyer career

Always use the strict option to disipline your kids

Have an affair with another sim while married

Complete the crystals collection

Must go to university

Gen 5;Napolitan:

Story:Your family situation was never great, so you decided to sign up for each extra schoolar activity you could think off. Doing this, you discovered your true passion: Sports!

You quicky decided that your all time dream was becoming an athlete! Wait! But not a normal athlete: A SUPER FAMOUS ONE! You LOVE the idea of everyone knowing your name! Especially your parents! Since they would realize how PERFECT and AMAZING you are!

Traits:

Glutton

Active

Over achiver

Goals:

Complete the body builder aspiration

Max the fitness and rock climbing skills

Max the fitness career (athlete branch)

Become at least a two stars celebrity

Marry someone more famous than you (you can cheat ONLY for knowing them)

Complete the sea shells collection

Have twins

Gen 6;Cherry:

Story: Your twin was always the popular one, while you...well..you were the weird one;and by "weird" you were the one know for making "jokes" about everyone;even the teachers...

You were your twin best friend, but they DEFINETLY weren't YOUR best friend! They always insisted on helping you, while you were pranking them in the most cruel ways possible...

You continue like this until you meet a really funny person who also likes pranks! But definetly in a more innofensive way. You always found this type of people boring, but maybe this be a change..?

Traits:

Mean

Goofball

Lazy

Goals:

Complete the master of mischief aspiration

Max the mischief and comedy skills

Max the criminal career (any branch)

Marry someone with the good,goofball or outgoing trait/s

Complete the metal collection

witness the death of at least one sims

Gen 7; Blueberry:

Story: You grew up loving every related to literature and books; and this include both reading and writing them! Faster than slower, you realized this was your passion!

But you couldn't help but think that every time you write down about a person's death, the grim reaper will come after them!

You wanted to revive a ghost and ask them if the curse was real, But each you imagine that moment, you could only think about that you may find the grim reaper cute...

Traits:

Genius

Bookworm

Paranoid

Goals:

Complete the best seller author aspirations

Max the writing and logic skills

Max the writer career (any branch)

Write the book of life

Have a kid with the grim reaper while married

Win at least 2 trophies for your books

Complete the snowballs collection

Gen 8; Oreo ice-cream:

Story:You always knew there was something odd in you, you weren't sure what was it (but it was pretty obvious that it was your smell) but it made you being mostly alone playing music.. you really enjoyed, but you wanted was having at least one friend; this became EVEN harder when you discovered that your father was THE GRIM REAPER...

Traits:

Slob

Music lover

Good

Goals:

Complete the musical genius aspiration

Max the piano and singing skills

Max the entretainer career (musician branch)

Complete the tassels collection

Have only one friend besides your family

Marry your only friend

Meet the grim reaper at least twice (he's stills being your dad!)

Gain a bad reputation

Gen 9; Vainilla:

Story: You were a normal kid, until you discovered that YOUR GRANDPA WAS THE GRIM REAPER. Since then, you become OBSSESED with the idea of inmortality and you will do ANYTHING to become inmortal, it doesn't matter if it means becoming a scientist, trying to make ambrosia or even becoming an occult, you WILL become inmortal

Traits:

Erratic

Glutton

Outgoing

Goals:

Complete the master vampire aspiration

Max the logic and gourmet cooking skills

Max the scientist career

Got transformed by a vampire and marry them

Complete the marbles collection

Cook the ambrosia at least once

Try not to die even after gen 10 is complete

Gen 10; Pistacchio:

Story: You never were very close with your parents, they were very obssesed with inmortality and vampire stuff... You only wanted to turn the world into a greener one! So, as an adult, you decide to move into Evergreen harbor! Just to discover that you were scammed and that you buy an empty lot in the CONTAMINED part of the city...

Traits:

Vegetarian

Eco-maniac

Recycle disiple

Goals:

Complete the eco innovator aspiration

Max the fishing and gardening skills

Max the civil designer career

As a young adult, move to an empty lot but (using cheats) remove 20.000 simoleons

Vote in every neighborhood action plan

Complete the frog collection

Have two failed relationships before marrying your soulmate

[rotationalsymmetry]

Morning catching up on golden enclaves (spoilers): (also Gideon the ninth spoilers):

Well. If Fortitude is London, then what is Patience? Is Patience the Scholomance or is it New York or what? Gah.

But I guess that explains why something was off with London but it didn't fall. Although I have no idea how El is identifying it as Fortitude specifically.

Anyways. More fun stuff. Orion is basically Harrow. I'd be craving a fic of them talking about it (absolutely fascinating to imagine Harrow's reaction to someone else having a higher conception body count) except neither of them would under any circumstance talk about it. Nor would El talk about anything. The only time El talks about anything is when she's narrating. As far as I know, Orion still doesn't know that she took out a maw-mouth in book one, and her mum still doesn't know the first thing about El's graduation. El, spending an entire trilogy grimly refusing to acquire catharsis about anything.

I do like Ophelia as a villain. We've only seen her once and she's absolutely terrifying, and also has a great self-justification talk. (I do like moral ambiguity and...not sure what word to use, reversal of expectations? So I was open to her being right about using malia being potentially the more ethical option in context, but then I thought about it for two seconds and her obvious comfort with deception convinced me that that was not where the story was going, making that just a classic villain justification speech. And I think there's a nice parallel between what Ophelia says to El and Liesel trying to recruit her, earlier in the story El's difficult choices are about selfishness and survival and taking personal risks, now they're about resisting the idea that she can help other people better if she makes compromises.

I want to say something about climate change and Ophelia's speech. That thing where she's so insistent on blaming independent wizards' cheating and not large scale enclave malia usage. Kinda the pay attention to individual carbon footprints (and not corporate consumption) thing. I really like how many aspects of the story nod at real world social justice/political/environmental issues, without being heavy handed and with having some fluidity. Mana/malia is about money and mana/malia is about sustainable energy/fossil fuels and enclaves are about class and enclaves are gated communities and enclaves are about private schools where some kids' parents pay their way and some are on scholarship and everyone knows who's who, and the "maintenance track" thing is about having to work while you study because you can't afford not to and both that and the mals outside the enclaves are about how physical labor wrecks people's bodies.

It's pretty cool.

And there's this tension where it's a chosen-one fantasy story but chosen-one/superhero fantasy stories intrinsically don't map that great onto how to solve these problems in the real world, where we have neither chosen ones nor superheroes and have to make do with crazy stuff like protests and unions and advocacy groups, and I do appreciate that Novik is going out of her way to create situations where El cannot do it alone and needs substantial help, but there is still a tension there. And I'm kind of not sure what to make about malia. Wage theft or general exploitation (or like...owning a private jet) doesn't make you super healthy and attractive right until you collapse in on yourself, you just get all the health benefits that being rich can provide until you die. It kind of feels like there's this religious moralism, sin or karma or something, weaseling into an otherwise relatively hardnosed down to earth story about inequality.

I do like the...I mean, it's nightmare fuel, but the way the enclaves are founded, the horror under everyone's feet that they can't feel and don't know about but it's there. Chef's kiss. Perfect metaphor, for growing up and being told your world is good your society is good, and then you find out about things like slavery and colonialism and let it sink in for a bit. But you still have to live. But also your society might end up eating you.

(Plus also maybe you were told that you have a good life, but you're weirdly miserable for someone who has such a good life, and have never had a way to make sense of it.) (I mean. I know where I am in this story. I'm not El. Social location wise, I grew up in an enclave. So. It's a different experience than El's is, where her struggle isn't about figuring out what to do when the thing you've materially benefitted from but psychologically endured agonies for turns out to be evil.)

[leclerced]

https://www.tumblr.com/enchantecafe/738701264923328512/ive-been-thinking-recently-probably-because-of

Omg this made me laugh sm. So im german and i just imagined bringing lando with me to my grandma and he’s thinking „ok german food wont be a problem, schnitzel is great and bratwurst is also easy, i eat that at home“. His reaction when he sees a fucking mettigel for the first time, pure horror (you should google it). I imagine pulling him into a bathroom bc its kale season and he needs to help me wash 40kg (88lbs) kale in the bathtub and sees all the insects coming out of it? And how 8 full Bathtubs shrink down to 3 big pots??? He‘d faint if he were to witness germans yell at each other over the correct name of a Berliner (its berliner). Poor boy would be so confused about why asparagus season is taken so seriously here 😭

And the worst part, im from Wolfsburg (the home city of Volkswagen) and he has to sit there and listen to why the VW Ketchup has a serial number like the car parts at the factory or how there was a „ketchup gate“.

🫀

link

okay sorry i didn’t answer this when u sent it but ugh. i love this sooo much it made me laugh sm. i kept rereading it all day and giggling. god i want to go to germany so bad.

lando would walk in and see the mettigel and immediately be like, “oh fuck i have to eat that?” he’d panic internally soo bad until she shows him the foods he will eat, ones she specifically asked to be made so he wouldn’t starve. i can so imagine his gfs brothers or like the kids of the family teasing him with weird foods, like when carlos tried getting him to eat sushi!! lando’s politely declining and trying not to gag at the sight.

the kale thing is so fucking funny. 88 lbs of kale??? 8 full tubs of kale??? what are u cookin ?? who eats that much kale??? this sounds like one of those math problems where someone buys 78 bottles of soda and you have to determine the final cost with tax.

all that kale and it all shrinks down to 3 big pots???? oh my fucking god thats insane!!!!!!!! lando would not be eating it after he sees all the bugs. he would never eat kale again because he knows bugs have been on it before. he gets served a sandwich with kale on it at a restaurant and can’t eat it because it has been touched by a bug.

i like asparagus when its grilled or sautéed but at thanksgiving this year my grandma made creamed asparagus with canned asparagus and it was genuinely the worst thing i have eaten in years but it was the only side and i felt bad about only eating ham and rolls. i could go on n on about that but i will not rn unless u all want to hear ab my holiday shenanigans but i assume yall prob don’t care to hear me complain ab the menu at family dinner.

its so so cool ur from where vw is from!! u could take him on a tour of the factory and stuff i think he’d like that a lot!! take him w the whole fam and everyone is telling him ab the lore

i’m from the town where dr pepper was invented humble brag!!! there is a museum in an old bottling factory and you can go and make your own soda its sooo cool. i haven’t been since i was a kid but i love it. there’s another museum there with this mammoth exhibit, i can’t remember if these are cast replicas or if they excavated some, but there’s a display in the museum and you get to walk on top of it on this glass floor and its absolutely incredible. look at this!!!! i used to sit and analyze these fossils for as long as i could. there’s also the mammoth monument you can visit where they discovered the mammoths!! you can read about it here if ur a nerd like me

[cyberneticlagomorph]

first prev

The stream continues and what follows is a blur of colors and activity.

Cousin Liam pulls the group this way and that, up the museum's spiral and back down again in a seemingly random arrangement as he talks the entire time.

Liam ducks into an incredibly small tunnel halfway up the wall, its entrance no bigger than a quarter. He just sort of... stops being a solid person, and becomes something much more malleable and strange as he filters into the hole in the wall like smoke through a pipe. Liam is gone for several seconds before the wall hole starts to widen like parting jaws.

Liam is pulling on the entrance, stretching it open until its wide enough to walk through. He waves excitedly towards Jack and the camera.

"Well c'mon, before the museum gets shy and tries to close it up again." He's grinning, like a kid that's found something so cool he's dropped everything just to come show you. "Technically I'm not supposed to show off exhibits before they hatch, but i found this one last week and it's too good not to."

The new doorway trembles a little, as if uncertain about the new visitors seeing what's beyond it just yet.

"...the museum just hatches exhibits?" Says one of the kids, probably Zeb.

"Well, yes," Says Liam, rubbing his palms together until a ball of light forms and starts to float away and illuminate the space. "I'm sure your house hatches new rooms when you need them, the museum does the same."

The un-hatched exhibit is... it simply IS...

The walls are striped with rainbows of soil horizons, a myriad of impossible colors in dense layers that do and do not make sense in ways that are really hard to describe.

There's a wall dedicated to Wonderland, showing the layers from grass to bedrock interspersed with rocks and fossils, dense tea deposits, and pottery sherds. The fossils here are made of ceramic that gets more and more ornate the farther down you go, under layers of volcanic rock are the shapes of strange birds and proto fae forever preserved in blue and white china swirls.

On Candyland's wall is a some sort of dinosaur skeleton made from butterscotch candy, speckled with lint, old coins, and long white hairs like it's been rolling around at the bottom of Nana's purse since it died. The dinosaur itself is strange... its no recognizable earthly species, and seems to be some sort of early draconic ancestor.

There's more and more on every wall, a slice taken from every country and continent, more fossils and figures hewn from materials more strange than the last.

There are little dig pits full of cool rocks, and tiny fossils surrounding a mining sluice. There are child sized mining helmets, shovels, picks, buckets and brushes for people to excavate their own finds and take them home.

Even Liam looks amazed as he pokes around in one of the dig pits and comes back with a porcelain tooth of some kind. He lets out a long low whistle, "I knew the museum had something big planned but I didn't expect it to be anything like this."

"Are... are we allowed to dig around in here or should we leave? You did say this exhibit wasn't ready." Jack says, watching Egg try to bury one of her siblings in a pit.

Liam shrugs, "I wouldn't, not at least until we can find a curator to take care of it first."

"Oh, should be leave then?" Jack rescues her children from their live burial and confines Egg to a stroller. Egg hisses about it and tries to pull a knife.

Liam Shrugs again, tossing the tooth her found back into the pit, "Yeah probably, do want y'all getting in trouble on my account."

The group turns to see a figure standing in the new doorway, several feet taller than the average human. Vaguely humanoid but only vaguely, more like a shape with eyes than an actual person with a face.

Liam freezes, an uneasy smile curving its way across his face as his ears flick back, "H-hey boss, fancy meeting you here..."

The shape tilts its head to one side and squints in a way that seems to say 'I work here, why wouldn't you see me where I work?'

"y-yeah about that, this is my cousin Prince Jack and her family, I just wanted to show them around the museum and we got a little distracted... honest!" His hands go up like he's trying to calm a startled animal

The figure looks around, stretching out some sort of limb so it can touch one of the dirt walls in a way that is remarkably tender. It looks back at Liam and tilts its head in a different direction 'This exhibit is unfinished and unmanned, please come back later' its big blank eyes say before it grows a hand in order to snap its fingers.

Everything seems to blink out of exisitence for just a moment, and the group find themselves standing outside of a different exhibit that's a little crowded with people. The sign over the door reads 'The Golden Age of Draking'.

Jack looks at the sign and then at Liam, "What was that?"

"Oh, that was my boss, the Curator, they're like a... projection of the museum itself? Kind of like a limb, and kind of like its soul? But they're also their own person, it's all very complicated." Liam makes several waving hand gestures to show his confusion about the whole thing. "I should really get back to work, but if you guys need anything just shout ok?"

Liam turns back into a signpost, with feet this time, and scampers off in no particular direction before anyone can say anything else.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1081 - Initial Thoughts

And we're back

Another week break is behind us so we can now resume to the next section Oda chooses to put Egghead in

Let's see what he has going this time

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too

A colorspread of sleepy boys to start with

Oh we're sticking with Fullalead for the time being!

Grus also uses his fruit to cushion the ship's landing

I love how in Japan a common insult to old people is to call them an 'old fossil' XD like nobody would ever say that in real life but it works well

Garp even laments the 'small-scale' his Galaxy Fist caused, prime Garp would've been worldbreaking

Koby quickly reunites with the group, leading to Grus being jealous of Garp's 'future of the marines' comment, Kujaku wants them to have their moment

Confirmation that Tashigi's not a part of SWORD, which is a shame since the G-5 is as close to SWORD as the Navy can be

Hibari's on the ball though, noting that they're not out of the woods until they escape

Hibari Nooooooo!

Girl got iced

As confirmed by the chapter title, Aokiji is indeed the 10th Captain of Blackbeard

The way he words things is interesting though, it's not 'I can't let you escape' it's 'it'll look bad if he escapes while Teach is away'

Oda is playing that fine line of 'is he or isn't he?'

We flash back to Aokiji joining Blackbeard, a year after the Punk Hazard fight

Aokiji iced Wolf and Teach's men near a bar, where he's having a drink - insistent that Wolf and co started it

And instead of a brawl it's just a merry feast roasting Akainu

Still, would've given Aokiji more credit if Akainu lost a limb, being 'banged up' doesn't really have the same level of impact as losing a leg

The Man Marked by Flames is mentioned again, it seems they think he might have the final Poneglyph

Of course, Teach doesn't know one is in Zou

According to Lafitte though the Man Marked by Flames sails a ship of pitch black, and may have a whirlpool fruit

Tbf yeah I wouldn't have put it past the WG to have had a Poneglyph to keep the One Piece out of reach, but Aokiji notes he never saw one to Shiryu

Some lamenting about Ohara too from Kuzan

Lafitte made the mistake though of asking Teach in Kuzan's earshot whether they intend to take his fruit, so back on the icing

Teach however offers him to join

See, as bad as Blackbeard is, the way he sells thing seems much like how Luffy does it: just people with their agendas living how they feel, the difference mainly is the way people do things

Back in the present, Aokiji refuses Garp's demands to unfreeze Hibari and return to the marines

Aokiji questions if Garp can kill his first protege to save another

But Garp sends him into the ground again 'only weaklings lose their way'

Garp seems to have space-themed attack names, since this one was 'Blue hole'

I wouldn't say Kuzan is being 'weak' here though, even Garp resists the system they worked for, he's living on his own path now is all

And now back to team Law vs Blackbeard ('winners island' as it's called)

Law's hat is on the floor and the Polar Tang destroyed

RIP to another cool ship design

Teach didn't have to pile it on either, his first ship was literally a fucking raft

The Rocky Port people are in Fullalead still too, still without their hearts, I guess the WG are in no mood to return them

Just as Teach sets sights on Law's fruit, Bepo goes Su Long

I was spoiled on this yesterday unfortunately, but the design is good

He did it without a moon too, thanks to Chopper. Makes me sad again though because Carrot could've had this tool in her arsenal if she was in the crew

Law is carried away at sea by Bepo, sadly having to leave the rest of the crew behind - despite Law's objections

Bepo notes how they will survive, but I guess that means the remaining Heart Pirates get to hang out with Pudding

Forced to retreat, like Kid: the Heart Pirates were utterly defeated

Blackbeard stocks are going up again

With Aokiji in Fullalead too that means it's likely that Lafitte and/or Devon are in Egghead, but we have wrapped up the Winner's island incident.

Law losing was expected, him and Bepo getting away does mean that Law may play a role in Luffy's and Blackbeard's eventual clash. We will have to wonder further with Fullalead though if Koby escapes, I mean I don't think Kuzan can beat Garp but Shiryu, Vasco, and Pizarro haven't made a move (not to mention Moria and Perona haven't had a follow up), so until they get involved I can't say the ball is in SWORD's court. Perhaps like Law only some will escape, perhaps Koby, Helmeppo, Hibari and Tashigi get away while Garp, Grus and Kujaku are held (hero of marines, high ranking officer's granddaughter and a high ranking SWORD member).

With Aokiji I still feel like he's playing a bit of a long con, it's just that working with Blackbeard aligns with interest right now. The way Teach is with potential allies though shows the layers of the man, he's an asshole to Law and Luffy, villano numero uno, but to Aokiji he was a lot more palatable, reasonable and a little bit encouraging, the art of the salesman I suppose.

They didn't say a break next week, but Golden Week is approaching so we'll see if we'll follow up, I kinda expect us to go back to Egghead again but we very well may stick to Fullalead a little more, maybe Marejois with Kuma. Lot's of things are still happening, and a big incident in Egghead is still about to occur.