#Only going up to Season 12 because Season 13 isn't done yet.

[seastarlily]

Random thought is random, but I always did like how many SpongeBob episodes dealt with certain themes and taught helpful lessons without being completely in your face.

Season 1

“Ripped Pants” - being yourself

“Home Sweet Pineapple” - homelessness

“Pickles” - anxiety

“Hall Monitor” - mishandling of responsibilities

“Jellyfish Jam” - the dangers of keeping a wild animal as a pet

“Sandy’s Rocket” - paranoia

“Nature Pants” - being happy as you are, where you are

“F.U.N.” - trying to see the good in others, even if they don’t seem like the best person

“MuscleBob BuffPants” - body image and self-esteem

"Employee of the Month" - the dangers of excessive competitiveness

"Karate Choppers" - obsessiveness

"Suds" - the dangers of self-medicating

"Rock Bottom" - being lost in an unfamiliar town

"Texas" - homesickness

"Fools in April" - learning when a joke is no longer a joke or goes too far

"Hooky" - temptation and playing in dangerous places

Season 2 

"Your Shoe's Untied" - confidence issues and learning new skills

"Squid's Day Off" - OCD

"Big Pink Loser" - being yourself and knowing your worth

"Dying for Pie" - living in the moment

"Wormy" - metamorphosis and how a misunderstanding can snowball into absolute chaos

"Patty Hype" - dealing with people doubting your passions and starting your own successful business

"Grandma's Kisses" - bullying

"Squidville" - monotony

"Prehibernation Week" - the dangers of living dangerously

"Dumped" - breakups

"Squirrel Jokes" - racism/xenophobia and harmful stereotyping

"Pressure" - superiority complexes

"The Smoking Peanut" - lying

"Welcome to the Chum Bucket" - separation from those you love and dealing with a bad boss 

"Band Geeks" - teaming up to triumph against all odds

"Krusty Love" - dating at an older age

"Procrastination" - exactly what it says in the title, LOL

"Jellyfish Hunter" - overhunting and animal cruelty

"The Fry Cook Games" - harmful competitiveness 

"Squid on Strike" - going on strike

Season 3

"The Algae's Always Greener" - envy and how having the life of someone else isn’t always as glamorous as it looks

"SpongeGuard on Duty" - lying about who you are 

"My Pretty Seahorse" - mishandling of a wild animal

"Just One Bite" - addiction

"The Bully" - bullying

“Nasty Patty” - murder

"Idiot Box" - the importance and sheer power of having an imagination

"Snowball Effect" - letting go of restrictions and having fun

"As Seen on TV" - the dangers of having a huge ego

"Can You Spare a Dime?" - unemployment and dealing with a moocher

"Rock-a-Bye Bivalve" - raising a child

"Party Pooper Pants" - learning that not everything has to be by the book

"Chocolate with Nuts" - lying and false advertisement

"The Great Snail Race" - overworking your pet

"Mid-Life Crustacean" - mid-life crises

"Born Again Krabs" - near-death experiences

"I Had an Accident" - PTSD

"Missing Identity" - identity theft/loss

Season 4

"Fear of a Krabby Patty" - overworking and sleep deprivation

"Shell of a Man" - lying to old friends and self-respect

"Have You Seen This Snail?" - animal neglect and runaway pets

"Skill Crane" - obsessiveness and gambling

"Selling Out" - getting old/retirement

"Patrick SmartPants" - personality changes and their effects on friendship

"New Leaf" - moving on with life

"Bummer Vacation" - workaholism

"The Pink Purloiner" - jumping to conclusions

"Best Day Ever" - dealing with inconveniences and learning to embrace the best parts of every day

Season Five

"Friend or Foe" - the foraging and breaking of a lifelong friendship

"The Original Fry Cook" - perfectionism and comparing yourself to others

"Fungus Among Us" - pandemics, disease, and quarantine

"Roller Cowards" - overcoming fear

"Money Talks" - being careful with what you wish for

"The Krusty Sponge" - commercialism

"Blackened Sponge" - lying and dignity

"Banned in Bikini Bottom" - speakeasies 

"Stanley S. SquarePants" - finding your talent

Season Six

"Penny Foolish" - obsessiveness

"Not Normal" - being yourself and embracing your quirks

"A Life in a Day” - living in the now while not living too dangerously

"The Krabby Kronicle" - misinformation and sensationalism

"Grooming Gary" - mistreatment of pets

"Porous Pockets" - the overlooked aspects of being part of the upper crust

"Ditchin'" - skipping school

"Grandpappy the Pirate" - lying to family 

"Overbooked" - commitments and learning to say no

"No Hat for Pat" - finding purpose and employee mistreatment

Season Seven

"Greasy Buffoons" - unhealthy food

"SpongeBob's Last Stand" - environmental destruction

"Sponge-Cano!" - having gratitude

"Karate Star" - obsessiveness and abuse of power

"The Abrasive Side" - assertiveness

Season Eight

"The Other Patty" - cooperation

"The Hot Shot" - bad influences

"Sentimental Sponge" - hoarding

"Are You Happy Now?" - depression

Season Nine

"Squid Defense" - self-defense and when not to use it

"Lost in Bikini Bottom" - getting lost and finding your way back

"What's Eating Patrick?" - finding motivation

"Goodbye, Krabby Patty?" - greed and commercialism

"Bulletin Board" - online harassment

"Snail Mail" - lying

"Salsa Imbecilicus" - the importance of having an education

"The Whole Tooth" - dental problems and not being afraid to see the dentist

Season Ten

"Mimic Madness" - being yourself

"House Worming" - infestations

"SpongeBob's Place" - pride and jealousy

"Life Insurance" - learning what life insurance is and that having it doesn’t necessarily protect you

"Trident Trouble" - misuse of great power

"Sportz?" - sadism

"Out of the Picture" - attempted murder and the value of art

"Feral Friends" - looking after others when they’re in no state to look after themselves

Season Eleven

"The Check-Up" - the importance of check-ups and the consequences of neglecting your health

"Larry the Floor Manager" - learning that not everyone is suited for the same job

"Stuck on the Roof" - acrophobia

"Don't Feed the Clowns" - finding a new job

"Fun-Sized Friends" - the importance of having alone time away from your friends

"Grandmum's the Word" - lying to family

"Moving Bubble Bass" - freeloading and not being paid your dues

"Whale Watching" - babysitting and teenage peer pressure

"ChefBob" - stage fright and personas "Plankton Paranoia" - paranoia, terror, and panic attacks

"Appointment TV" - returning favors and cheering up a sad friend

"Girls' Night Out" - female friendship

Season Twelve

"Gary's Got Legs" - learning that things are the way they are for a reason

"Stormy Weather" - not messing with nature

"The Krusty Bucket" - cooperation 

"Squid's on a Bus" - walking in another person’s shoes

"Broken Alarm" - oversleeping

"Karen's Baby" - raising a child

"SpongeBob's Bad Habit" - bad habits

"Breakin'" - the importance of taking a break every so often

"Boss for a Day" - the responsibilities that come with being a boss

"The Goofy Newbie" - starting a new job

"Pat Hearts Squid" - being yourself

"Hiccup Plague" - communicable diseases

"The Hankering" - addiction

"Escape from Beneath Glove World" - getting lost and helping a lost child

[sirenthatmakesyouwantcake]

these are my thoughts on interview with the vampire episode 5 season 2

I've heard a few things about this episode, I've been really wanting to watch it just havent had had the time yet. I've also heard that they don't actually unpack any of it.which seems pretty on brand for them

(6:10) Sometimes, ii think i have bad handwriting, but then there’s daniel’s, which makes my feel a lot better about my own

(7:52) definitely gay (8:11) definitely

This whole interview is just a who can be the sassiest and most insane old gay guy possible

(9:46) daniel is like that one fall out boy song, he spent an entire decade high and doesn't remember any of it (or that he is gay)

(10:04) i like how they had him standing at the window, it's a nice touch

(12:53) if i just found out that vampires are real, i think i would be pretty fucking afraide too

I've been painting my nails while watching and ended up skipping on of my nails

(13:35) that was perfect, it was so close to quoting the book, it was good enough that i even recognised it before i even looked up the first few pages

(16:03) I like this louis more than the other few, he’s so much more fun and happy instead of seeming like he only sort of wanted to be there.

(17:18) it's no wonder he doesn't remember the first interview, he looks like he could barely stand if he wanted to

(22:55) 70’s armand is millennial grey

(24:21) i think someone is a little jealous (another weirdly spelled word) ((25:19) and the other one is schizophrenia), i also think two someones need to go the marriage therapy

(26:16) well that took quite a turn, and i think its shows their relationship well, how even thought why both had just yelled at each other, armand still saved him right away, and then, though i haven't gotten there yet, i assume that armand made him forget how bad it hurt, (38:22), i take parts of that back, armand basically torched him, they really do need therapy, i'm surprised they didn't end up killing each other in the time between the interviews

(29:23) poor daniel got caught in the middle of their messed up relationship

(30:01) for some reason, i thought the guy in the bag was daniel, and somehow he was revived and turned into a vampire, i clearly didn't think this through much because now that i'm thinking about it again, there in no way that would have worked

Armand is supposed to look 17, he looks 20 or so, i know his actor is somewhere in his 20’s and he did play him well, i don't think they could have done the show the same way if he was played by a younger actor.

(38:22) about time

(45:31) louis is quite a jump scare when the rest of your room is dark and quite

(51:01) once again, not talking about the problems

OTHER

I really like how both daniel’s had similar voices, specifically the gravely (i think that's the right word) parts

Conclusion of this episode: maybe all four of them could use some therapy or atleast to talk to each other and work out their problems (the last part doesn't really apply to lestat, he was not part of the sort of ok guys, not good guys, i don't think any of them really qualify as good guys except daniel, he was just caught up in everything)

This episode really put their relationship through it but i think it may have helped parts of it as well, maybe if armand and louis could actually talk they could have a better relationship that isn't just hanging off a cliff

@certainunkownlove2 was telling me about this post and i think all of you need to read it, he is so wonderful for this

Thank you for reading, now it is time for me to rest (literally speaking, it's late and i'm tired)

other episodes

S2E1 S2E2 S2E3 S2E4 S2E6

[haletostilinski]

Ooh ooh oohhh!!! This is the perfect time for me to share a Teen Wolf Timeline I did *years* ago now and have just sat on because it felt silly to have done it in the first place. But the batshit timeline drives me crazy, so here is a link to the timeline I made in Google Sheets:

As I say in it: "In season 1, we see his driver's license that says this is when he was born. It makes the most sense for Derek to be around 16 when the fire happened and to be 22 when the show starts." I also don't put his birthday on Christmas myself - I know it's widely accepted, but I don't personally headcanon that - because the Teen Wolf calendar it was on made *no sense* because it had Allison's birthday at a wildly different time than in the show. Stiles' is in April on it, but they literally have him say in 3x02 that he "isn't 17 yet" which mean he's not 17 until all the way into the next year (during or after season 4) or his birthday isn't in April (so i put his birthday differently)

But if you think about that - whether Derek's birthday is Christmas or November 7th, he'd still JUST turned 16 when the fire happened. I also explain that in my timeline:

"In season 1, which takes place at the beginning of 2011, it is said the fire happened 6 years ago. And since all of Derek's family was together in one place, it is widely accepted that they all gathered for something called the Wolf Moon, something born wolves celebrate, which occurs in January. It would also explain why Derek was in school at the time of the fire."

We also have Derek saying it was 6 years ago in like...3A or 3B, which is later that year, so if it was in January it would still be 6 years ago, not quite 7 yet.

So if Derek JUST turned 16 (whether in November or Christmas), that would mean Kate got to him when he was 15, really, and that's STILL fucked up (16 isn't much better, but 15 is worse) no matter what way you slice it.

BUT - it is a little less fucked up than if he was 12 or 13 - which is why I bet they changed his age (and seemingly kept aging him up - that and Hoechlin looking a lot older with a beard) to about 22 in season 1, because if he was 19 as the pilot script said, he was an *actual* child when Kate did what she did.

Which probably made Jeff go "UH OH" and change his age.

But he can't hide from the pilot script:

So it's either...Derek was 19 and Kate did what she did when he was 12/13...OR we ignore the "6 years ago" and it happened more like 3 years ago. OR Derek is 22, it happened when he was 15/16 and is not quite as bad but still bad.

Either way, like @dear-massacre said, 22 isn't much different to 19, and with all Derek went through, that huge trauma...honestly I'm sure his emotional maturity is very very stunted.

As for the Erica thing, I think him *flinging* her off of him is proof enough that he wasn't interested in her (I think the few seconds he allows the kiss is probably just surprise and shock). Like he doesn't gently pull away and put her down, he *flings* her off of him. Pretty obvious that to me, because of that, that he was faking being remotely into her.

And at the end of the day, it's fiction so don't be so hard on yourself for shipping Sterek. The real people are what matter, and Dylan and Hoechlin were both adults since day one on the show, and only about 4 years apart.

And Derek's age is so all over the place, we kind of just have to pick a general range of where his age is at and it's almost a headcanon. That's how much they fucked up his age. So go with what you feel most comfortable, really.

I NEED a formal apology for being weirded out by sterek because I just saw some shit with Tyler Hoachlen talking about how inconsistent his characters age is.

AND UPON REWATCH IT ISSSS!!! At the beginning Stiles openly States Derek is just a few years older than them (presumably 2-3 max), but as the show goes on I SWEAR they start treating this man like he's in his thirties!!

AND I KNOW y'all are gonna mention how Crystal Reed was older than Tyler Hoechlin and it's trueeee, but it's all about the perception. None of them were actually highschool age but we perceived them to be and then Derek just like kept getting older and older.

By the end he was pretty solidly roped in with the adults. In my mind there was the pack (Scott and the gang), the adult pack (parents+ Derek), and the puppy pack (you all know who all that refers to).

Basically my dumbass with short term memory forgot that Stiles literally says Derek is a few years older than him, and I got confused about the legitimacy of these fictional characters relationship.

[coldgoldlazarus]

Could you give a ranking of your Katarina ships and why?

I think I did so a while back, but it doesn't hurt to do it again, more comprehensively...

Going in order from worst to best IMO:

16. Geordo: Some fanfics have made him actually likeable, (particularly the Mirrorverse series on A03) but I lowkey despise his canon characterization. Pushy, possessive, borderline rapey, and the only thing holding him back from actually doing anything isn't anything about his own character, but Keith and the rest of the harem cockblocking him at every opportunity. This man doesn't know the meaning of the word consent, or more likely just doesn't care. Aside from that, it's been made very clear that if he did "win", Katarina would be utterly miserable stuck in the royal palace and unable to engage with her interests on account of being likely Queen. Or if she did, political nonsense would wind up punishing her for it. As a character outside of his relationship with Katarina, Geordo is... Meh, alright I guess? But the way he acts towards her puts him hard at the bottom of my rankings.

15. Season 2 Keith: I'm splitting Keith up into two distinct entries, because of the shift in his dynamic after the third kidnapping arc. Because it seems like he's suddenly veering hard in the same direction as Geordo now, and the fact that the narrative seems to be justifying it as "well being a rapey creep is the only way to get through to Katarina" whether or not that's the intention, is an uncomfortable development. I honestly don't have a problem with the "incest" angle, (and I know this is gonna get me cancelled in a few years but whatever) such that it can be considered that, but his actual behavior after being rescued is just, eww no.

14. Sora: Sora's a bit of a weird one, since like, 85% of his screentime he's been actually pretty cool for, and their dynamic of "let's go out and see the world!" is neat. But at the same time, there's also That Scene where he was literally seconds away from raping her, that just casts a really nasty pall over everything else. I do think he'd still be a marginally better option than Geordo just because of the potential future lifestyle he represents, but I still don't trust him much.

13. The Fortune Lover 2 Dudes: Since I haven't read the LNs (and based on what I've heard don't really plan to either) all I know about these guys is the brief glimpse at the end of Season 2. So I have no real opinion, but at least they haven't done anything wrong yet. They're just kinda there, but unsurprisingly, nothingness is still better than Geordo.

12. Sarah: Okay this is not really a serious entry in the "pairing with Katarina" list and more just me throwing in my two cents on her as a character. But yeah, she seems intriguing so far, kinda similar to yet different from Sirius, and a more serious long-term villain. Like, if anything could keep me watching after how bad a taste S2's ending left in my mouth, it would be her, because I'm both intensely curious about what exactly her deal is, and feel like I'd have fun watching her stir trouble along the way. And her design is pretty neat. But now for the sake of consistency with the list... if they could give her a solid redemption arc or something, (or a corruption arc for Katarina, but that seems less plausible) she'd be a unique yet intriguing dark-horse candidate for Katarina's hand; it's the sort of thing I'd definitely read fics for, even if it's not my first choice, or a particularly likely development.

11. Anne: Much like Suzanna there's a bit of an age gap that makes things iffy here, but also like Suzanna I don't think it's a big enough gap (especially if Katarina's given a few more years to catch up) for it to necessarily be like, a huge Thing™. It's more the caretaker dynamic that kinda puts me off of this slightly, but under different circumstances where Anne is more free to just be, I could see it working; Katarina encouraging that independence while Anne acts as her voice of reason. But ultimately this is yet another what-if sort of scenario, and as is, I very much enjoy their canon dynamic as pseudo-siblings.

10. Suzanna/Larna: This one is a biiit sketchy due to the slight age gap, but at the same time, milf rights she doesn't seem to be that much older, in the long run; given a few years for Katarina to catch up, I could see it working. She definitely seemed interested at the very least, and given all their interactions thus far in the show, I feel like she'd be able to walk the tightrope of getting through to Katarina without being creepy; her mixture of flirty and serious behavior in both identities gives me the idea she knows how to recognize and respect boundaries. However, their overall future prospects may not lead to much, given the disparity in their interests; (Much as I love Katarina, Suzanna deserves a gal who can keep up with her brilliance and passion for magic) this is also more of a "what if" thing, and their platonic dynamic in canon seems just fine as-is to me most of the time.

9. Season 1 Keith: As far as characterization goes he'd be in one of my top spots before he got Geordo-fied, but as a romantic partner for Katarina I'm still kinda iffy on it. Again, not because of the pseudo-incest thing, but just more that he seems overly emotionally dependent on and overprotective of her; the latter of which is a boon when it comes to Geordo but could cause problems if it drives other people away, and the former is just, not great in general. Even outside of any romantic stuff, this boy needs therapy and a better support network so all his (significant) trauma isn't her sole burden to bear. But aside from those concerns, I do genuinely enjoy their casual dynamic as siblings, him being a mix of impulse control and enabling her nonsense, and her smothering him in affection all according to keikaku.

8. Ginger: Similarly to Sarah and Suzanna but slightly to the left, Ginger to me is a really interesting "what-if" sort of pairing I'd love to see explored, even if it's not necessarily something I'd dedicate the same amount of focus and passion to as main ships further down this list. She didn't get a whole lot of time to shine, but she definitely has a lot of personality, and how that could play off of Katarina would be interesting, to say the least. It would be peak irony if the tsundere one who can't admit her feelings got through before anyone else, just because of Katarina recognizing the trope, heh. Personally I prefer the idea of her and Frey becoming a couple, but again, this could be a fun possibility to explore on the side.

6. Nicol: S2E8, aka the best thing to come out of Season 2, really brought Nicol up in my eyes as a character, giving me a better look into his head and helping me understand where he's at in all this. Unfortunately, I don't think my view of him as a potential romantic partner has really changed much; I think he'd be a decent option, but he's not my first choice. Pretty solidly alright, though there have definitely been some fics that have expanded on the dynamic and used him really well. I wouldn't complain if he somehow came out on top, outside of disappointment that my more favored options got passed up. shrug

7. Sirius/Raphael: To be honest, half the time I forget he's technically part of the harem as well. When I do remember, though, it's definitely a ship I'm down with, even if it's not a favorite; their potential romantic dynamic feels a bit underdeveloped due to him either hiding in plain sight in the background as Sirius, or stuck doing paperwork at the Ministry as Raphael, but I don't really have any complaints about it - I do think, though, that they work better as friends, with him wingmanning for Maria on the side.

5. Mary: I'll be honest, organizing this list has been more of a hassle than it should have been, purely because of Mary zipping up and down the rankings every five seconds like some sort of demented yo-yo. The very definition of a problematic fave, I feel like if Mary was allowed to be a serious rival contender instead of written as the comedy thirsty lesbian stereotype, she has a fifty-fifty chance of being surprisingly kind given her own personal experiences, or just as bad as Geordo and S2 Keith, with very little room in between. Thankfully she hasn't definitively made an ass of herself yet, otherwise she'd be waaay lower on the list, but I wanted to aknowledge that that's a distinct possibility. At any rate, despite my misgivings she'd at the very least make an interesting partner for Katarina, with her social savvy playing off of the beloved black hole's density seeming like it could make for some pretty compelling shenanigans, for better or worse.

4. Alan: Their tomboy rival-bro dynamic is just pure gold, and of the dudes, he seems like the one most capable of keeping up with her pace. Plus, similar to Ginger he has the whole tsundere thing going for him, but without her level of social distance (heh) to get in the way. They're best friends, and I feel like if they got together, they'd still be best friends first and foremost, which is honestly pretty great. The only real issue I see is the stifling palace life problem that I brought up with Geordo, but I feel like Alan is significantly less interested in dealing with all that himself, so he and Katarina together would have little issue ignoring the political nonsense and having fun in their corner.

3. Sienna: Yeah, I bet most people weren't expecting this one. Sienna is great, though. A bit sharp-edged in VoD due to her hanging out with OG Katarina, but ultimately still a decent person at heart. The best part is, that she clearly comes to adore Bakarina as much as everyone else, but doesn't let that get in the way of her own aspirations, or acting as a much-needed voice of reason. I also like the idea of her getting together with Maria, so a polyamorous triad with both her and Katarina would be brilliant. Really, the only drawback I see is that she's trapped in the spinoff with very little chance of being relevant in the main canon.

2. Maria: Do I really need to say why? She's somft and lovely but still compelling, has the thematic irony angle of heroine/villainess going for her, and Katarina loves her baking. My only real qualm is that she's kind of a hopeless enabler, and a future of farming and sweets doesn't necessarily challenge Katarina, but really that's just another way of saying she would be too much of a good thing, rather than anything actually bad. Maria's great, her dynamic with Katarina is great, it would be the cutest and most romantic fucking thing ever, end of story.

1. Sophia: I've already written a mini-essay on why Sophia's so great, but in summary: Acchan puts her on a truly equal footing with Katarina. Their dynamic is great. Their potential dynamic if she gets those memories back is great. Girl is great. Like Alan, they have the potential for some truly excellent best-friends-but-also-lovers shenanigans. I adore them together. Maria and Sienna would be icing on the cake, but out of everyone I'd hope to be endgame regardless of probability, it'd be her. Just wish that outcome was more probable...

---

And that's the list! Hope you liked it ^^

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

Castiel’s death S12 vs S15: An Analysis

I’m not a fan of being talked into something, that’s why I always analyze everything on my own. I want to be neutral while analyzing, I want to understand situations and emotions by myself, I want to see it with my own eyes and draw my own conclusions. Let’s go through some moments together, shall we? Got your tissues? All right.  

We start in Season 12 at the moment Cas pushes Dean and Sam aside and walks towards Lucifer, ready to attack him. Dean is screaming for Cas several times and Sam has to pull Dean back while Dean wants to follow Cas. In my opinion this is a massive parallel to Season 1 when Dean pulled Sam out of the burning room while Sam was screaming for Jess the whole time.

Cas is stabbed in front of Deans eyes. Dean isn't realizing anything, he's numb, paralyzed. He just stares at Cas and sinks down on his knees next to Cas’ dead body.

A little later Sam and Dean are sitting in the Impala. Sam is saying: "Can we just talk about what happened back there?" and Dean answers stone-cold: "Sure. Which part? Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is —." He can't even say it. He interrupts in the middle of the sentence; he can't even admit it, because the pain kicks in so hard.

Now it’s getting interesting:

Dean changes massively. He drinks, he is highly depressive, suicidal. He lost his will to believe in anything, he gave up on everyone. But even more: He gave up on himself. I have never seen Dean like that ever before.

You can say here: “But Dean lost his mother, too” Yes, that’s true. When I look at Marys and Deans arc together, it isn’t a profound one. It doesn’t contain healthy bonds or deep love, not even trust. Mary is a part of Deans abusive childhood. She made the deal with Azazel which spurred John into becoming a hunter to kill Azazel in revenge and raising their sons as hunters as well. Furthermore she makes it worse in the very short time she’s back in Deans life. She came back and left again. She lied, she ignored the boys, she didn’t care. She teamed up with the BMoL behind Deans and Sams back while knowing the BMoL tortured her sons excruciatingly. Deans and Marys bond was not deep or loving, trusting or healthy, it was just sorrowful. One Episode before Cas dies, Dean confronts Mary. You know the speech. It ends with “I hate you.” Yes, Dean lost his mother, too. But if you compare Marys relationship and Cas relationship with Dean, it’s like comparing the desert to the sea. I’ll come to that point later, again.

Dean prays to Chuck. Yes, Dean Winchester prays to God. "We've lost everything. And now you're gonna bring 'em back. You're gonna bring back Cas, you're gonna bring back Mom, you're gonna bring 'em all back. 'Cause after everything that you've done, you owe us, you son of a bitch! So you get your ass down here, and you make this right! Right here, right now!" With every word he presses through his lips, he gets more aggressive and desperate. He mentioned Cas before his mother, so Cas' name popped into his head first. When he opens his eyes, they are teary. He looks around and sees that nothing’s happened. His head sinks down on his chest, he's hopeless. The pain kicks in and he snaps, he can't bear it. He wrecks the door of the building until he’s bleeding and tears up even more. The next thing I saw I couldn't believe: He starts begging. He looks up, tears in his eyes, and Dean fucking Winchester starts begging to Chuck. "Please... Please... Help us..."

Later Dean actually kills himself. When he dies (temporary) he meets Death. It was not planned, but the moment Dean sees Billie, he's okay. He immediately accepts his fate, it's like a weight is lifted from his shoulders. Billie says something very important here: "Maybe you're not that guy anymore, the guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he'll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it's not a big deal. You tell people you'll work through it, but you know you won't, you can't, and that scares the hell out of you." And Death adds surprised: "You wanna die."

So Billie points out Dean isn't able to fight on. He isn't able to work through it like he always did before. Something has changed, something so immense that he isn't able to live on. Billie continues:

"Dean, every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically -- heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one's right? That depends on you, on the choices you make."

And Dean simply answeres: “Well, I guess I made my choice.” Dean is accepting his death here. For the first time in 13 years, he’s not just having suicidal thoughts, he wants to accomplish them. He wants it to end. Here and now.

Coming back to Mary. You know what makes me sure Deans total collapse was about Cas in the first place? Look what happened the moment Cas returned. You may skip to 4:45.

So I am asking myself while looking ONLY at Castiels death in Season 12 and Deans reaction and nothing else: Is it love?

And my conclusion is: Yes, it is. Does Dean realize it yet? Probably not.

Why am I thinking this? Well… I was like Dean. Or Dean was like me.

When my husband died after 8 years of our relationship, I was exactly like Dean. I was numb, cold. I was depressive at first, later suicidal. I gave up on everything, everyone. I had no hope, didn’t believed in anything. I wanted my life to end. That’s why it was extremely painful to see Dean like that, this kind of pain rips your heart out of your chest every single moment of every single day in a way you could never imagine if you haven’t felt it yourself. It leaves you wrecking your whole life, crying, screaming in pain, begging for it to stop, begging for mercy, no matter in what way.

This is exactly why 15x20 was a… joke? A prank? I haven’t figured out what happened yet, but 15x20 is not real. Let’s take a look at Deans reaction to Cas’ last death. Knowing that their bond got massively stronger and their feelings got even more intense, Deans reaction was:

“Sam. Hey, umm. Cas is dead. Can we get pie?”

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 4 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Glamour

You can call it however you want: kid's show logic, superhero disguise logic, magical girl show logic, cartoon laws, suspension of disbelief, etc. But the fact that nobody recognises Marinette, Adrien and others when they are suited up IS NOT BAD WRITING. It's one of the main laws of this genre. That's not because characters are stupid, okay? So, being frustrated that everyone in the show acts stupid about this "wearing a mask that covers only eyes" trope is strange. This criticism is not valid or fair.

But, this trope has to make sense in-universe as a worldbuilding and narrative element.

Miraculous doesn't give us much direct information on how glamour works. And in this case, I think we need both SHOW and TELL. Because if you don't establish the glamour rules clearly, you are going to run into problems and create unfortunate implications with your storytelling choices.

Appearance

Miraculous obviously gives our heroes magical glamour. In "Lady WiFi" we find out that masks can't be taken off. It's magic. No other explanation is needed.

Miraculous can slightly change the appearance of users (eyes, face shape, height and hairstyles). People can identify and notice the hairstyles of heroes (numerous Ladybug wigs, statue in Copycat). Jagged Stone points out the change of hair when he mistakes Chloe for Ladybug ("Antibug"). But it's just a costume. There is no magic that prevents Jagged from understanding that Chloe isn't Ladybug. So, how does it work? But it's forgivable because it's cartoon logic. Suspension of disbelief works here, I suppose. I won't judge this too harshly.

Glamour also obviously prevents people from making a connection that Marinette and Ladybug have identical hairstyles. So people know that Ladybug wears her hair in pigtails, but magic does not allow them to notice similarities.

Another important question. Does glamour work on Kwamis? Can they see who is behind the mask?

New York Special makes it clear that magic does not affect robots and they can see through glamour. Does that mean that Markov, AI built by Max, knows the identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir? And it's never addressed.

Plagg in "Frightningale" says that holders can subconsciously choose their superhero appearance. This is actually pretty interesting and I like this idea a lot. Except the show is not consistent with this. The transformation of Master Fu looks identical to Nathalie's. And we have seen how different from each other Ladybug and Black Cat holders looked in the past. At the same time, Master Fu and Nino have different takes on Turtle superhero suit.

Age Glamour

Does age glamour exist? Do people see Ladybug, Chat Noir and other heroes as adults even when they look like teenagers to the audience (their height and build are smaller even when they are transformed)? Is that why no one ever questions the fact that children nearly die on a daily basis?

I mentioned unfortunate implications earlier. Well, this is where they come into play. Let's talk about "Copycat". A lot of people discussed it before me, so I won't bore you with details.

When I watched "Copycat" for the first time Theo's crush on Ladybug didn't bother me, because I thought that he sees Ladybug as his peer, a girl who is about 20-23 years old. Theo is an artist, his character design is that of an adult. He has his own studio, its appearance indicates that he did serious commissions in the past. The guy has no idea that Ladybug is like 13.

But then we get "Heroes' Day" and "Ladybug". And Hawkmoth calls them "kids", which means that there is no age glamour. Others see Ladybug and Chat Noir as teenagers. Perhaps, other Miraculous users aren't affected by age glamour. Therefore regular people see all heroes as adults but other heroes are able to guess their age more or less correctly. But you must spell this thing out because the audience can interpret "Copycat" differently. If there is no age glamour, then Theo is crushing on a teenage girl and he is fully aware of this fact. And this doesn't look good for your show.

The "No Age Glamour" theory is further confirmed in "Sapotis" where Alya just straight up analyses voice recordings and says that Ladybug is a girl their age. If glamour exists then it should also cover technology. Kwami can't be photographed. Face and voice recognition software shouldn't be able to analyse transformed superheroes and detect their identities in any way.

Besides, after "Sapotis" Alya should definitely be sure that Ladybug is not 5000 years old (also not an adult), especially after she wore Miraculous herself and was one door away from detransformed Ladybug.

SEASON 4 UPDATE! There's no age glamour after all.

In "Furious Fu" Su Han calls Chat Noir a child without knowing his identity. It means that everyone knows their superheroes are teenagers. "Copycat" can't be saved from that, uh, subtext anymore. No one questions the danger of their job or the balance of their lives outside of the mask. No one doubts their competence after "Origins" ever again. No one becomes annoyed after being bossed around by two teenagers in spandex. You had many opportunities to drop these details into the narrative. Someone could have been akumatized over this (I will not be ordered around by some magical kids!).

I don't know why writers decided not to use at least this idea and slightly adjust "Copycat" if they got rid of the age glamour completely. It can be explained as kid's show logic, but unfortunately, I'm reluctant to do it. If many characters sympathise with akuma victims on-screen, why not with the teenage superheroes who must fight them?

New York Special had this weird focus on collateral damage out of nowhere (the damage done by sentimonster Robostus) and yet it has 0 effect on the main story. No one in Paris is pissed that their 2 teenage protectors weren't there.

Ironically, "Furious Fu" and that one remark made by Su Han also created unfortunate implications for other moments in the show. Just hear me out. Apparently, Jagged Stone wrote a "thank you" song for Ladybug knowing that she is 13-15 year old child back in "Pixelator". Fandom is more than happy to roast Lila for lying about saving Jagged Stone's cat and him writing her a "thank you" song. Fandom claims that Lila's tale could harm Jagged's reputation, when he wrote a song for teenage Ladybug several weeks prior. Meanwhile, in-universe this lie is 100% believable.

If we put on "realism glasses", then both this whole song situation and Theo's crush in "Copycat" have uncomfortable implications. However, the show's canon can't be viewed and criticised through "realism glasses". I admit that bits and pieces of my criticisms are affected by these "glasses", but, ultimately, I'm trying to be fair and concentrate only on things that can't be justified by "cartoon logic and worldbuilding".

Could the existence of age glamour solve this problem of unfortunate implications and other concerns mentioned above? YES. Is it better for the narrative? YES. Is essential for the story? NOT QUITE. Could the absence of age glamour be called an irredeemable storytelling flaw? NO.

Disclaimer: On a side note, only older audience can notice these implications. Children, the target audience, most likely won't understand this subtext simply because they don't have enough experience. So, perhaps, this criticism is unfair, because these moments only look weird to me as an adult. It's like an adult joke in a cartoon that you don't get until you reach a certain age.

There's nothing technically wrong with adult writing a "thank you" song for a teenager. It's just an expression of gratitude. However, unfortunately, we live in a world, where adults normally wouldn't write songs for teens to express gratitude only. In real life similar actions would imply pedophilia and would be actively scorned by the public. No one would risk their reputation like that even if their intentions were genuinely pure and sincere. But this show can't be viewed through "realism glasses", because it's a cartoon and in certain cases we as the audience must use suspension of disbelief and pretend that certain things are possible for plot to happen.

Su Han also wants to give Ladybug and Black Cat to adults. Why didn't Master Fu do this then? Writers don't give us any explanation. Throughout the show we never question this up until the moment it's revealed that adults don't have time-limited powers. Then comes "Furious Fu". Story suddenly becomes self-aware here. Because apparently nothing prevented Fu from giving the most powerful Miraculous to adults who won't have time limit and will be more effective against Hawkmoth (see part 3 for more details).

I have a very good example of Age Glamour done right. It works in the story. There is no confusion or unfortunate implications. There is like one plothole connected to the glamour (it's been years and I still can't forgive them for Cornelia and Caleb) but otherwise, it's a pretty solid example of both show and tell. Clearly, writers wanted to avoid uncomfortable implications which are present in "Copycat". I am talking about W.I.T.C.H. comic books and animated series.

If you are not familiar with it, I'll give you a brief explanation. The story follows 5 girls, the Guardians of Kandrakar who are chosen to protect their world and parallel ones from evil. They receive magical powers from the amulet known as the Heart of Kandrakar. Their powers are based on elements: fire, water, earth, air and energy. Our main characters are about 13-15 years old. In the animated series they are younger and they attend middle school, making them 12-14 years old. But the transformation makes them look 18-20. They look like young women to each other and to other people. At the same time, people can recognise them, their looks and voice don't change. Most people don't know that they are really teenagers when they are not transformed and these people don't know that magic can make them look older. That's why everyone treats Guardians like adults when they are transformed. Comics establish this fact in the very beginning. In first issues characters state that they look older, we are also shown this multiple times.

In fact, one of the first side plots revolves around the fact that Irma uses her powers to sneak into the disco club to meet up with her crush. Irma is 13 at the beginning of the series, she is a high school freshman. Her crush, Andrew Hornby is a senior guy 17-18 years old. Irma has liked him for a long time and wants to impress him, so she decides to be clever about this. She transforms into her Guardian form of the 18-year-old girl, hides her wings, sneaks out to the club after her parents are asleep without any problem, and meets Andrew, who obviously doesn't recognise Irma in this girl who looks about his age. Smitten Andrew offers her a ride and 13-year-old Irma doesn't understand the implication of that offer, so she accepts. And, obviously, he decides that she is interested in more than just a ride home, since she agreed, and the comic implies that he fully intended for them to have sex in the backseat of his car. But Irma understands the implication only when Andrew tries to kiss her. She panics and turns him into a frog. And she actually pulls this "I need to look mature" trick more than once over the course of the series.

It's not the only situation where this age difference is handled well and makes sense. People who know the main characters in everyday life remark on their older appearance during transformation. Sometimes people flirt with Guardians when they are transformed. In one of the side-novels centred around Cornelia, she is worried that the prince of the realm they helped to save from famine would try to marry her. That never happens, but Cornelia actually brainstorms with her friends about how to tell the prince that she is really 15.

There are many other plot points where this happens, but I think that you got the idea. I really like how "Age Glamour" was handled in W.I.T.C.H.

How do we fix this? Create the situations where people offhandedly mention "Age Glamour" in the presence of Marinette or Adrien, use Kwami for this.

"Don't worry, dear. Chat Noir and Ladybug are adults, who know what they are doing. I am sure that they will handle this. "

Theo could say: "Oh, I wonder which university Ladybug goes to?"

"So, does that mean that other people see us as grown-ups, Tikki?"

A few words and boom, problem solved. Then allow the "show don't tell" rule do the rest.

[experiment-000]

My Top 10 Ships of 2020

It's been a weird year but I've seen other people doing this. Plus this year I've been way more into gen fics (love a bit of found family especially in clone wars and marvel) than anything shippy. So I genuinely don't know what imma put on here aside from two ships for sure. Sorry this post is super long idk how to do the below the cut thing and I've had this app for 5 years...

10) Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki - Yuri!!! On Ice

It was a real toss up between this, supercorp, kanera and wolfstar cos they're all very integral ships to my fan heart but this son because of the Yuri on Ice fandom's rebirth this year. I've never stopped shipping this, never stopped reading fanfic of them for any extended period of time, they're still my most bookmarked ship on ao3 (although I think now star wars - all media types may have overtaken them for fandom). They were one of the first things I watched where the queer ship I loved became canon and I can't wait for the film (and hopefully someday a season 2). Heck I even made my mum watch Yuri on Ice with me so I think that says it all.

9) Edelgard Von Hresvelg and female Byleth - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

My first fire emblem game was fates when I was like 14 (and finally gay awake lol). I was so disappointed that I had to be with a guy character because the only female option was kinda creepy and also I wouldn't get the character of kana. So when three houses came out I was so happy because finally there were beautiful incredible female characters my female byleth could romance (I'm so sorry mlm you deserved so much more than you got). I got the game as soon as it came out (had to search a lot of shops let me tell you) and started on black eagles. I was actually kinda disappointed back in 2019. I didn't like the explore the monastery bit (still find it kinda tedious) and the battle mechanics weren't quite the same as fates (no pairing up?! Aka my main battle technique for protecting the weaker units). So I got like 20 hours in and put it down. Came back to it in lockdown and finally finished it! I'm so proud of myself I virtually never finish games. And I fully fell in love with the useless lesbian edelgard in the process. When I started back playing in 2020 I was like eh I wish I'd picked a different character to romance (like shes an emperor that's morally very shady) but then the romance stuff started with edelgard and I fell the heck in love.

8) Cory Matthews and Shawn Hunter (and Topanga Lawrence) - Boy Meets World

Disney+ was released in the UK this year and I finally got the opportunity to watch boy meets world in its best quality (aka not on YouTube). I watched it back when I was like 12 or 13 and it's such a nostalgic show for me. Watching it again I still absolutely adore it (and my bi ass was low-key crushing on Shawn especially in chick like me - I'm 18 btw and I got so scared for a sec but rider strong was 18 when chick like me came out so it's fine woah). And of course now I see the possibilities of the beautiful Cory and Shawn relationship like they were so bromance it was basically romance and throw in topanga it's the perfect ot3 (but I'm also fine with just Cory and Shawn or just Cory and Topanga). Read some good fanfic for them this year. My favourite was one about Shawn stealing makeup and stuff and exploring gender (need more fics like this I'm biiii).

7) Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes - Marvel Cinematic Universe

I rewatched all the MCU films this year too. And got really into Peter parker whump and irondad. Plus my eternal obsession with identity and relationship reveals of course led me from Spiderman identity reveals (and found family cuteness) to stucky coming out. Especially when it involves the internet and social media. Not my favourite ship but it's been significant to my year due to the sheer amount of marvel stuff I've read.

6) Satine Kryze and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I rewatched clone wars in prep for season 7 and wow Satine's death was sad and sudden. She first appeared in S2 E13 I think and just the sheer sexual tension of their bickering. "The sarcasm of a soldier. The delusion of a dreamer." Just ugnnhhh my bi ass can't take much more of this. And Anakin just sipping his wine in the background grinning. And I fully believe korkie is a Kenobi.

5) Commander Cody and Obi Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

I am very much an Obi wan multishipper. I don't really have a favourite but I fully believe he was with satine and Quinlan in his life. I don't think be would've actually done anything with Cody because of the whole superior officer thing. And this probably isn't even my favourite Obi wan ship - that honour probably goes to quinobi or obitine. However the most popular ships in the fandom are codywan, quiobi and obikin. No offence to anyone who ships these they're just personally not to my taste, but I can't stand quiobi, and obikin I find only slightly more tolerable and I think that's just because there's so much obikin content so if I like the concept of a fic that happens to be obikin I'll read it. I'm just not a fan of the mentor/student relationships. So I generally favoured the codywan fics when there was shipping involved meaning I read a lot of them this year. Needed that nice fix it content post season 7.

4) Zuko and Katara - Avatar: the Last Airbender

Again I am a multishipper I have nothing against zukka it's cute. But I'm a zutara shipper first and foremost because when I first watched avatar I was like 13 and denying my gayness and gayness in general so I shipped the straight things and the straight things only. Most of these ships I stopped shipping - dramione, spuffy, some my little pony ones which we don't talk about. Zutara stayed. (I have nothing against any of the things I used to ship I just stopped shipping them so much/shipped new things more). I've continuously shipped zutara since I first watched avatar even if I didn't necessarily spend that much time on it it has always been here as one of my favourite ships. It has such good fanfic I swear including my favourite ever fanfic from any fandom - love thy enemy. Plus like the black games (reread this for the millionth time this year), a delicate subterfuge (which I read for the first time this year and damn it's so good) and so many more. With the avatar resurgence this year I haven't actually rewatched avatar aside from my normal random episode every now and then when I feel like it. But there's been a lot of avatar on my dash from people I follow getting into it and people I followed for avatar returning so naturally I returned to the fandom and read quite a lot of fanfic. I also read just a lot of avatar gen fics which were great at the whole found family thing I've been so obsessed with this year.

3) Catra and Adora - She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Catradora is canon! They kissed! What more is there to say. Arguably they should've been top but I never shipped them that much since I was always very much a multishipper when it came to she ra so yes I was very happy it became canon because we actually won for once but also I've never read much fanfic for them etc. But they are very much a dynamic I love and watching she ra all again in prep for season 5 I really enjoyed the build up of their relationship. The other two only go above because Buffy is my favourite show ever and damn there's some good fuffy fanfic and Aphra and Tolvan is both fresh in my mind and star wars owns me. Would love some catradora fic recs btw if anyone has them tho.

2) Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I didn't realise it was last year that I got super into them but according to my ao3 bookmarks it was lol. 2020 I swear it's lasted an eternity. I got into them about a month before lockdown (which feels like another lifetime). I've loved Buffy since I first watched it when I was 13. It's arguably still my favourite TV show. I've been through a lot of ships for Buffy - bangel to spuffy and now fuffy. I still think angel and her were a beautiful ship back in season 2 and especially in the angel episode I will remember you. But faith and Buffy had so much chemistry in season 3 - she would've been a fresh start for Buffy and the amount of fix it fics I read I swear. My favourite has to be one where they met in LA during Anne and how that changed everything feat Buffy's internal homophobia.

1) Cheili Lona Aphra and Magna Tolvan - Star Wars

I read Darth Vader (2015) and Doctor Aphra (2016) for the first time at the end of 2020 (got a comic subscription which has served me very well already I've nearly finished the star wars canon comics). Just to see canon queer ladies in star wars was so magical for me as a queer lady. I didn't think star wars would be so overt yet as to have a queer kiss in canon (even if it's in the comics) and especially not with the main character of arguably their main comic series. Now we just gotta hope that we'll get it in live action someday soon. They weren't the ship I consumed the most content of in 2020 but they were the highlight of my 2020 because star wars did that and I finally found out about it

Honourable mentions: Vivian and Elle - Legally Blonde, Candace and Vanessa - Phineas and Ferb, Stevie and Alex - Wizards of Waverly Place, Xander and Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I actually don't ship this but damn some authors are good - this was the ship that made me realise I don't need to like a ship if the author is good enough to write it well), Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo - Star Wars (started reading the books last year but finished this year and only started with fanfic this year), Villanelle and Eve - Killing Eve, Kanan and Hera - Star Wars, Barriss and Ahsoka - Star Wars, Remus and Sirius - Harry Potter, Kara and Lena - Supergirl (let's hope this becomes canon next year!) (Those last four are ones I've shipped forever some of my og ships but nothing particularly big has happened for me this year with them so)

I got Disney+ this year so rewatched a fair few things from my youth and though hey my obsession with that character may have been a little gay.

[buddha-in-disguise]

Discourse, Supergirl and fans.

The Supergirl situation with William Dey, is far more than about William Dey per se.

I touched on this when I first posted about David Harewood.

What I have seen, and I am still seeing is while some SuperCorp fans were annoyed about the preview for episode 12, this was also coming from a diverse section of the fandom. That David (and others) have singled out the SuperCorp fandom is both unfair, and unhelpful. But that is a different discussion altogether.

So - I am going to repeat and expand on some of what I wrote at the time to try and explain why I, (and others) have found Supergirl to be really problematic at the moment.

First of all: There is no doubt Supergirl currently has a diverse cast, inc. LGBTQ representation. 

However, all the diversity in the world means absolutely nothing if a program is seemingly only playing lip service to the characters. 

Compare and contrast with Legends of tomorrow. They have 6 women. 2 Muslim superheroes (a TV first). 5 characters are LGBTQ, including Charlie; who is recognised as gender fluid. 4 people of colour. The lead is a woman, who is bisexual, in a canon relationship with a lesbian, and is a superhero. 

They do this without it being made a big deal of, enjoyed by LGBTQ and heterosexual audience alike. But it is a huge deal for many because of that diversity, and just as importantly they haven't overloaded the cast numbers, so they all get good solid storylines through a season. A season that is also shorter than Supergirl. 

Legends are an example of how you can put in a diverse minority cast, without it becoming forced or cumbersome. It isn't without fault sure, but no program is. 

So where is Supergirl going wrong at the moment? 

Let's use William, as the crux of the problems are best shown with his character, but it isn't limited to him. I will put first - this is absolutely *not* a criticism towards Staz Nair, who I respect (& like, as far as one can from limited SM interaction). All too often the accusations are made that if you don't like a character, you hate the actor. That is categorically not true for me, nor others I've seen posting about this. Of course if anyone does hate on the actor, that is not okay.

So, back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense.  What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer, at least until now. 

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist.

I am utterly baffled as to why they feel this arc makes any sense. Moreso when an already established character gets sidelined. 

I'm also getting tired of seeing anyone who sees these valid opinions about current storyline as being trolls (or the comments all SuperCorp fans are just outright haters. No - SuperCorp fans are a large diverse group, that have incredible artists, fanfic writers, and social media users. Many also multi-ship. To place a blanket statement about a whole fandom as large as SC, is hateful. All fandoms have some who are problematic, but to single out an entire group is not right). 

So back to my thoughts. An episode can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism or valid opinions for it. For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. Yet others have made perfectly credible counter arguments that it showed the difficulties faced by many LGBTQ people. So, great episode, valid criticism/opinion from both points of view. It also highlights you can have excellent episodes, but they can have legitimate issues.

Nor does differences of opinion, as long as it is respectful, makes those voicing them a bully, no matter how much you disagree. 

At the end of this, if you don’t agree, and your opinion makes you say something that is intentionally hurtful (directly or indirectly to a person or group of people), it's a bad thing. The key word being intentionally. We all make mistakes, and responses that could've been better, & we all need to be aware of that, but if it is an intended attack, don't be surprised if others call you out for your behaviour. 

So now what in regards Supergirl?  

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship, one canon on/off again relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, all seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast. 

Then you just need to look at the dislikes that teaser was given on YouTube, and compare them to previous ones. I've attached screenshots to show this.

A serious misjudgment was made by someone on how that teaser would be received, and again I will stress, this dislike hasn't just been from one area of fandom, but multiple areas. For many it wasn't just about William, but the culmination of unease that has built for a few episodes. A prime example of the straw that broke the camel's back. If you are solely focused on one area of fandom for this discourse (as many blame SuperCorp fans), you need to step back and recognise you are not allowing yourself to see the whole picture. To focus solely on one thing, rather than acknowledging the wider audience are saying this, does not make you the better fan. To dismiss it as trolls, is being dismissive of good, regular fans with legitimate questions or concerns. It is insulting to many of us.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part. 

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

It feels like a mess of unnecessary pairings and the crux of the story seems to have been lost in the midst.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and extremely legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen (again from far more than just SuperCorp fans), and the frustration has built even more. 

I can only hope the next couple of episodes address some of this and not complicate the mess further. 

Whatever happens, Supergirl is not doing well in terms of a storyline that is gripping for fans, that is now top heavy with regulars, taking screen time from established characters, and a social media blunder that has so far only exacerbated the simmering uncertainty being felt by many.

It might improve, and I sincerely hope it does, but they are edging into the potential for the anger felt by fans to become an all out riot if they don't stop and see where valid criticism is being given. If this season continues on in this vein, then there is going to be huge swathes of fans drifting away. The concerns are legitimate. I wish it could be seen as that.

[chocolatemin]

TIME (ONEUS FANTASY AU)

AMBER'S POV

Once I got inside, the passage immediately shut. Sigh. Why does that always happen? Am I in a sort of horror movie? Cold wind brushed against my cheek caused me to shiver and snap back to reality.

I looked to my surroundings and everything is covered with thick snow while the sky is pale. "Winter?" It's very cold that I can barely move from my position. I hugged myself due to intense coldness. "Why didn't Xion tell me about this?" I started walking trying my best to ignore the freezing wind. "Thank goodness, I am wearing this black leather boots, my feet could've been stuck as soon as I stepped here!" I whispered triumphantly to myself. I can't find any other way except heading straight so I didn't bother to trouble myself.

I was walking and walking until it started to snow, I pulled my hoodie up to lessen the chance of me getting sick due to excessive coldness. I just keep walking as I lost track of time, maybe an hour or two had passed already... I wasn't able to notice that the road is quite bumpy. I slipped and fell down to the pile of snow and landed on my butt. "Ow, ow, not too cold! Ouch, it burns!" I looked up and saw a large, human-sized raven looking down at me with its clawed hand offered to me. I got startled and moved back from it. "Do you want my help or not?" I got more shocked when I heard him speak but regained my composure and took his hand, the feeling of his scaled skin and claw fingers are foreign which sent chills to my body. I thanked him for helping me and apologized for my behavior. "Have you broken some bones?" "Fortunately, I haven't, thank you for your concern." I hesitantly smiled to the large black bird from the crow family.

"By the way, my name is Ravn and don't be afraid, I don't bite." He suddenly turned into a human-like appearance. He has pretty eyes that compliments his other features well. "I'm Amber, I'm looking for the way out of here and was kinda lost, perhaps do you know any exits?" "I do, there's a town plaza nearby the castle, at the back of the castle is the Forest of the Lost which I had heard rumors of having an exit somewhere." "Can you help me go to that place?" "Sure. I'm heading there too. Just follow me." He smiled at me and pulled me beside him before we started walking.

"Do you live here?" I curiously asked him. "Yes." He replied briefly. "Uh, about earlier, why were you in that appearance?" "Oh, I'm sorry about that, it was too cold at that part of the land and was snowing heavily at the woods so I used my hybrid form to keep me warm." "Ah, I see. So I'm guessing you are not a human?" "Not really. I'm from the Human-Crow family, to be specific, the Ravens." "Woah, I think that's cool." "Well, I ain't gonna deny it." I looked up to him and he smiled cheekily. "Why did you choose to walk instead of flying?" "I'm still weak as of now and I cannot fly yet. I had just recovered from cold and fever." "What? Then you shouldn't be here, you could have just stayed home!" I got worried but he reassured me, "I was looking for a certain fruit to cure me, and fortunately I found it and ate it right away. I'm all good now." "You sure?" "Yeah. Don't worry."

We walked in comfortable silence and talked occasionally, it's very easy to make a conversation with him and it wasn't awkward, as if we had known each other for some time. We reached the seventeen o'clock as said on the huge clock in the middle of the plaza. It is not like any other clocks that are up to twelve only, instead, it is up to eighteen. It was really weird. "I'm going to buy dry ingredients at the market. Is it okay for you to wait a bit?" "No problem, I am looking for a botique, is it possible to find it here?" "Yup, are you going to buy clothes for you? Do you have money, I can lend you some if you want." "Don't worry, I have some with me besides I can't stand the coldness wearing these clothes." I sighed and shook my head earning a chuckle from him. "Yeah, yeah, I'll take you there after I buy the ingredients, is it okay?" "It's okay, I don't mind waiting." I smiled at him.

—

Ravn told me to change my clothes in the bathroom. I thought there isn't enough water for them since it's currently winter but I was wrong. The pump has lots of water. Ravn even heated water for me incase I wanted to take a quick bath. As I am taking a quick bath I suddenly remembered the clock on the town plaza, why is it up to eighteen? I'll ask Ravn after. I changed into a white long sleeve ruffle blouse and fitted dress pants that I bought from the botique. It is old fashioned but simple. Ravn told me to just leave my clothes on the small table inside the bathroom. Before I leave, I made sure that the place is clean. I left bathroom feeling warm and refreshed.

I headed to the kitchen where Ravn is preparing the plates. "I'm done, thank you for letting me use the bathroom." "No problem, come here, sit down." He motioned me to sit on the chair opposite to him, "I prepared dinner." I sat down and thanked him. After we ate, I volunteered to clean the dishes while he get changed which he agreed hesistantly not wanting to bother me but I insisted.

"Are you done yet, Amber?" Ravn asked me when he got out of the bathroom. "Yes." I replied as I am drying my hands using the hand towel on the cupboard. He sat down on one of the chairs at the dining table. "Amber, please sit down, I have some questions to ask you." He said sternly which made me quite nervous, so I sat down quickly, "What is it?" "Helping you and letting you stay here doesn't mean I trust you fully and I'm not suspicious, right?" "Well, yeah. I'm still a stranger to you." "I don't want to hurt your feelings." "No, no, not at all. Go ahead."

"What are you?" Ravn realized his question, "I'm sorry it came off like that." "It's okay. I am just a mere human. Next question please." "You said you were kinda lost. How did you end up here?" "Well, I... uh, I entered a gate and was transported here. I don't know if you'll believe that but it's true." "Oh, I see. Are you aware of this place? I bet you don't know anything about the Winter Realm." "It is true that I don't." He sighed at my answer. "Be thankful that I'm the one who found you, if it was the werewolves hybrid, they could have killed you." My body shivered thinking of it. "But why would they kill me?" "They aren't very welcoming to strangers. Plus, you also look suspicious so they'll probably put you to painful death." I cringed at the thought of them tearing my body apart.

"I'm done asking questions, if you want, you can ask me too." My insides calmed down after he said that. "Then, where am I really? What kind of place is this?" My eyebrows furrowed unintentionally. "You're in Winter Realm, and obviously it's winter here. Wherein the season through out the whole year is winter." "What?!" "Yes." "How do you survive in this place? If the snowing is all-year round?" "Most of the citizens here are hybrids, humans are very rare here. And I'm not the only one from the Human-Crow family living here, we're a lot. Also, the werewolves hybrid are living here too. They are the knights of the castle while some of the human-crows are messengers and servants. Some of the hybrids us are just like me, a commoner." Woah, his house is quite big for a commoner's, that's what I thought. "Does that mean that the workers on the botique I bought these clothes, are not human? How about you?" He nodded and I gasped, if Ravn wasn't with me, maybe they won't sell clothes to me. "I sometimes have a duty in the castle as a cook or whatever they need for a special occasion like grand balls, meeting other diplomats but I work part-time on a small restaurant at the town plaza every 27 o'clock until 32."

"Oh, speaking of time, why is the clock up to eighteen?" "Are you referring to the clock on the plaza?" I nod. "It is because a day is equivalent to thirty-six hours, but! The daytime is 'til 12 o'clock only, then the rest is nighttime. That's total of 24 hours of night." "Then, what time is it now?" He looked to the window at the living room and squinted his eyes. "Hmm, according to the clock outside, it's currently passed twenty one o'clock ." "Isn't it late already?" "Not really. Why do you ask?" "In the place where I originally live, it's actually time to sleep by twenty one o'clock." "Really? You may sleep at my bed upstairs." "It's okay. I will just sleep at the couch. Can you take me to the forest later instead?" "That won't be a problem. It's actually my nap time, and I take my naps on the couch." "Oh, then I guess I'll be sleeping on the bed, you may have the couch." We both sat up and I reluctantly went to the three-stepped stairs while he's heading to the living room. "I told you, just sleep on the bed." He laughed while I climb the stairs, I just smiled at him and head to his room. I left the door half-closed since I'm not used to sleeping not in my room and for him to be able to enter without the need to knock.

I can't fall asleep yet so I stood up and went over to the window. The neighbourhood looks peaceful at night, I wonder, what are they doing too? Some are in their houses, while the others have their lights turned off. After admiring the view for some time, sleepiness finally kicked in and I immediately dozed off as I laid down myself.

—

"Amber, you ready?" Ravn asked me after I finished gathering the things I needed. "Well, the keys are here, the coins too, the fruits I bought earlier and the water bladder you gave me. I'm ready to go!" I replied to him happily and put on my sling bag. "Wait!" "Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "Take this lamp and this dagger, you can't just go to a forest without anything to protect you, especially at night!" He handed me the lamp and the dagger with a smile. I tied the dagger to my waist and hid it under my cloak. "What time is it?" "It's 26:13. I think we need to go now." "I believe so. Let's go?" Ravn opened the door to his house and let me step outside first.

—

Ravn flew me to the back of the castle and we landed safely. I climbed down from him before he transformed back to his human form, "Thank you for this, I cannot give anything back except these coins." I took the purse from my bag and handed it to him, he pushes it back to me saying he's fine but I grabbed his hand, placed the purse on it and shoved it to him and smiled, "No, I insist, take those. I have the half of it in my bag." Lie, I only left a quarter on my bag. "Well, I don't have a choice, you're too persistent." We both laughed knowing he won't win this arguement with me.

"Thank you so much Ravn for everything you did... From helping me on my way to the town, letting me stay the night, to bringing me here. I wish I could have given you anything aside from those coins." "It's alright, Amber. I'm glad I was able to help you. It's our family's rule— to help anyone in need without seeking for something in return." He plastered a smile. "Thank you again, but I think you need to head back or you'll be late for your work and might get paid less than you should have." I replied in a concerned tone, afraid he might think I'm shooing him away. His eyes went wide, looks like he had forgotten it already, I chuckled at the sight. "Oh right, I totally forgot about it, thank you for reminding me. I need to go, bye Amber." He waved to me and quickly transformed into a black raven spreading its magnificent wings. I waved back at him and he looked at me one last time before flying away.

I marched towards the inside of the said forest with excitement and nervousness. The only things I hear are the sound of crickets, owls and my own footsteps. I countinued walking until I heard a howling sound from afar. I got startled and stopped on my tracks for a while. Sure, walking at night– in the woods, with a small light and all alone? Isn't really scary. As I walked deeper and deeper to the forest, the growling of the animal became less and less faint until I spotted a creature not far from me. Its body is covered with black smoke and its eyes are glowing yellow. I stopped on my tracks to prevent further noise and hid the lamp beside me, hoping that the creature won't notice the light and come towards me. Unfortunately, it started walking to my direction causing me to flinch and drop the lamp I was carrying. It jumped infront of me and I wasn't able to move due to fear taking over me.

"Grrr, what is a lady doing here at night? Mayhaps you don't want to be able to see the sunlight tomorrow, eh?" It growled louder and before I could talk it lunged infront of me causing me to fall to the ground. "Please, spare my life." "Ha! You wish. Now, say goodbye." The creature, which somewhat look alike to a lion and wolf at the same time, slowly brings its face closer and opened its mouth widely. Is this where I end already?

-END OF CHAPTER-

[A/N: kskshskksjj-]

previous | next

[itskindofafairything]

Growing Pains (part 1)

Warning: mentions/suggested of anorexia cussing

(rewinding to season one a bit I'm replacing Sherri with Avalon I'm also changeing the order making her reason 10 she'll being giving the tapes to clay. P.s. Sherri running over the stop sign doesn't happen Jeff is alive )

Flashback freshman yr.

"Seriously Hannah just drop it I'm fine" Avalon huffed biting her cheek.

"fine? Looking like a twig is not being fine Av seriously you know we I can literally ditch class and grab you food from the diner" xi" Hannah trailed off.

"HANNAH SERIOUSLY FUCKING STOP GOD KAT WAS RIGHT YOUR NOT HAPPY UNLESS YOUR CONTROLING THE SITUATION. IM FINE JUST DROP IT BETTER YET. JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND STOP SOCIALIZING WITH ME BETTER YET FIND A NEW FRIEND" Avalon yelled slamming her locker before rushing down the hall leaving people starting.

Fast forward.

Avalon sighed pinching her skin . Before shakily putting the head phones into her ears and pressing play.

: Hey, it's Hannah, Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your... whatever device you're listening to this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. 'Cause I'm about to tell you the story of my life..

Avalon blinked slightly confused but more disturbed why was she listening to a dead girl?pausing the tape chewing her lip.

"The rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Number two: you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story, rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person."

Avalon rolled her eyes "dramatic much Baker?" She scoffed frowning as she sucked in her lip biting down hard as if not to let herself cry.pressing play again.

"Oh, and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or, you know, just throw the map away and I'll never know. Or will I? You see, in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again."

"this is sick" Avalon whisphered pulling out the map and counting the tapes and continued to listen.

"See, I've heard so many stories about me now that I don't know which one is the most popular, but I do know which is the least popular. You all have a reason for being on here. The truth. See, the truth isn't always the most exciting version of things or the best or the worst. It's somewhere in between, but it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains."

It'd been 3 days and 12 hours since Avalon started listening to the tapes. She couldn't do it in on day each time she tried listening again she felt sick and disgusted. Hand trembling she put in another tape her fingers pressed play.

"And now we come to reason 10. Little Miss prefect. Might want to sit down your in for a ride because you miss Avalon Frost have a whole tape to yourself. Isn't that nice. Well no no not really. Not nice for ethier of us.. are you ready . You see my brain say you don't belong on here but my hearts says you do. Now let go back to that one day. You know what I'm talking about the hallway incident. .

"you my dear dear Avalon may not have meant to start it but you lit the match and started the spiral. Your secerts aren't safe anymore and thank God they won't be maybe finally you'll stop the act, and while I wasn't able to save myself maybe I can save you.,"

Avalon pressed payse throwing the earphones off and the player on the bed.

She hastily threw in a jacket grabbed her key and wallet. Yelled out even tough she knew no one would answer "going out".

She rushed herself out the front door before long her feet and body found themselves a Rosie's. Once inside she said into a booth.

Smoothing out her hair she picked up a menu to hide her face from the crowd. She only looked up when she felt someone sliding into the booth with her.

"hi Zach" she said forcing a smile.

"don't take this the wrong way but you look like shit"Zach replied brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"well you would to if "she started

"listened to the tapes?" Came a whisper as Jessica slid in on her other side.

",I haven't even gotten I just started mine" Avalon admitted voice shaking "I don't know if I can even finish it" she muttered.

Zach ran a hand up and down her tight comfortingly.

"Av I'm sorry if I'd known what you were going through I would've tried to help" Jess admitted.

Avalon sucked in a breath nodding "it's ok Jess" she moved her hand under the table lacing her fingers into Zach's hand hoping he wouldn't pull away "I didn't know it'd ever get that far ya know?" She shrugged feeling a slight squeeze against her fingers from Zach's hand she relaxed abit.

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 30)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29)

Dear Veronica,

Kissing you feels like the start of a new season, the sun in the early morning, and moonlight reflecting on the ocean. There is never a moment that I don’t think about your lips and how they make me feel when they are on mine.

I wish I were kissing you instead of just writing about it.

- L

P.S. You look beautiful today. You always do.

Veronica’s grin breaks through her face as she reads the note again and again. She bites her lip, grinning and embraces the feeling of being the absolute giddy teenage girl that she's come to be.

She’d fallen asleep with a smile the night they'd admitted to wanting them to be real and she'd been falling asleep smiling ever since with memories of his lips on hers and his confession of love playing in her mind. Logan Echolls really should come with a warning label and a list of side-effects; it's barely been a week and she feels addicted.

They’re in Journalism class when he slips her his note, he’s talking to Dick – hands wild and grin blazing as he talks about the upcoming surf competition they’re both sure to participate in when she reads the little poem he’s found for her. She softly smiles as he chatters on and she decidingly puts pen to paper.

Dear Logan,

things that fall

petals

tear drops

snowflakes

rain

stars

tides

eyelids

time

shadows

leaves

the sun

and I,

for you.

She’d seen this little snippet at a time when she'd thought her love unrequited. Ever since Logan had come back into her life and re-familiarised himself with her heart every little love poem, sappy quote, meaningful lyric became about him.

She’d never thought she’d actually share them with him but she hasn't responded to his notes before and she finds herself wanting to know if he'll smile at her note like she does at his.

She glances at his note, biting down on her lip and continues to write.

I love the way I feel when your lips are on mine.

- V

P.S. I wish you were kissing me too.

She folds it up, inks his name on the outside like he does with hers and lets it sit beneath her book as she waits for him to return to his seat beside her.

She hasn't actually given anyone a love note before. She's written her letters but those were just for her and she hadn't been the one to send them out - she didn't get the chance to feel the anticipation brim up inside her as the letters ventured out into the hands of the objects of her once affections.

She thinks that she could slip the note into his book and wait for him to open it but he's Logan and chances are he'll snark his way through class until the bell rings without opening his book. She could slip it into his pocket like he's done before but she doesn't think she can pull it off in the sauve way that he can. She could let it sit in his locker but she wants him to see it as soon as possible because her nerves are building as the note sleeps under her hardcover book.

He spins himself into his seat as Ms Dent begins to talk about layouts and interviews and things that Veronica should be listening to but can't seem to care about; she's got her on-going assignment and she knows she's not going to be asked to submit anything else along with it.

Her eyes find his brown ones between the chaos of their classmates negotiating on their assigned pieces. They're next to each other but not close enough to be touching

It's become devastatingly difficult to not touch him because she wants to feel his skin under the tips of her fingers and she wants to let herself fall in a spell of his fingers against her skin. Her body aches with the memory of his fingers on her neck and his lips on her jaw and it wants more.

She bites on her bottom lip and his eyes are immediately drawn south to her coloured lips that's peach, glossy and sweet - she thinks of his note and how he wishes he were kissing her - she finds herself looking at his lips too.

He looks like he wants to say something, whisper something to her, let his fingers touch her skin but he stays silent and tries to refocus, taking deep breaths and she knows that he's thinking about the four minute heated make out session they had in his car before they had to enter school this morning.

She sucks in a breath and leans closer to him. He moves forward, meeting her half way and she holds out her note for him between two fingers like it's something she's casually doing and she hopes it hides how much thought she's put into the simple act of passing him a little note - an act he's able to do everyday without a second thought.

She doesn't feel too confident about how she gave him the note, her body is jittery and she needs to turn away because his eyes are smouldery and his lips are looking as kissable as ever.

He looks surprised and soft and gentle and happy and she doesn't understand how his name sprawled on a folded side of the piece of paper incites so much of feeling into his brown eyes.

She looks away as he opens her note because as much as she wants to see his reaction to her words, her heart is beating a bit too fast and she's not sure if she can handle seeing his smouldering eyes without kissing him right here in the middle of class.

The minutes drag on to what seems like forever and the moment class is over he pulls her into the girls bathroom, slapping her out of order sign on the door - once again making use of the little red warning sign she initially only used for investigative purposes.

She's propped up on the bathroom counter, legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth on hers - hard, long, needy kisses.

Their hands are tangled around one another, grasping for closeness as they squeeze in their need for each other in the five very short minutes they have until their next class.

They haven't had time to be alone since their confession of wanting their relationship to be real. She's had soccer practice and Heather shaped obligations she's taken on while he's getting ready for surf competitions and accompanying his mother to formal events she'd rather not be alone at. The only time she's gotten to see him when he picks her and Heather up for school, at school and when he drops them home.

All they've had this week were stolen kisses between hours, brushing of hands as they go their separate ways coupled with heated glances from across the hallway. And Logan's little notes. Notes that flame the fires within her and make her feel the ache of not having him to herself now when he's finally hers to have.

They're late to their next class and Veronica's grateful for the tardy slips she's kept from months ago.

--vm--

It's Friday night and there's parties being thrown and appearances needed to be made but Veronica's home baking last minute cookies for Heather and her friends because she's written sleepover on Meg's to-do board that's hung on the side of the fridge and her dad is still working the night shift so she's got supervision duties.

She's working fast, shaping up cookies and baking them as quick as she possibly can. Her hair is a mess, the kitchen is a mess and the once neatly organised planner board is a mess. She remembers Heather swooning about Nutella filled crepes and fruit filled crepes and dozens of other homemade options that she'd had at her last slumber party because Lauren's mother is a perfectionist. Meg's never let them feel disappointment over not having something other kids had, she worked hard at cultivating fancy dishes and napkins and organising entertainment. Veronica wasn't about to be the one that damaged her sister's childhood.

"Ronica? Are you done yet?" Heather asks, tilting her head as she throws her bag on the side of the couch. "I need to be at Ophelia's in like thirty minutes so we have a bit of time before the sleepover."

Veronica's brows furrow, still working on the cookies, trying to be fast and diligent at the same time. "Why doesn't she come over here? I mean wouldn't that be easier?"

Her sister shoots her a quizzical look, plopping on a bar stole and stealing a bit of cookie dough. "Uhm no, we're staying over at her place, I told you this last week."

"Wait," Veronica stops, hands resting on the counter top as she looks at her sister in her eyes. "The sleepover isn't here?"

"No," Heather shakes her head, oblivious to her sister's incredulous expression as she licks her fingers. "Why would you think that?"

"Because," the older Mars blows out. "The board. Sleepover," she says and wants to hit her head for not being specific enough. She sighs. "Let's wait for this batch to be done, it'll take ten minutes more to bake and you can take it with you to Ophelia's."

Heather beams, bright eyes and toothy grin. "Thanks, Ronica."

She gives her sister a soft smile before she asks, "So are you and Ophelia good? I mean, did you talk to her?"

"I didn't have to," the little girl starts her story. "I saw Ophelia give Ryan her red balloon. She loves balloons. She wouldn't even let me have a balloon and I'm her best friend."

Veronica's brows furrow as she continues to stare at her little sister. "Because you always pop your balloons. It's like you're a human cactus."

Heather shoots her a glare. "Whatever. You don't understand how it looked under the sunset sky and the two of them smiling at each other. And she told him that she likes him."

"Were you spying on them?" Veronica asks, brow arched and tries to put on a disapproving face - she either fails or Heather doesn't take notice.

"I was observing my friends from a distance," the little blonde reasons.

"Uh-huh. Heather -"

Her sister doesn't let her finish as she continues with her story, "It's only after we went on the Ferris Wheel and Ryan gave me the red balloon that I realized that Ophelia was only trying to help him because she liked him as a friend."

"He gave it to you? I didn't see you with a balloon."

"Because it got popped," Heather tells her, sighing loudly like she misses the balloon. "Ophelia knew it would too. She thought it might break the ice between us, give us something to laugh at because I get nervous around him," she explains everything so quickly that Veronica almost doesn't catch the end bit but thankfully she's trained herself to be an attentive listener.

"Heather Mars, nervous?" Veronica clunks her tongue with the roof of her mouth. She looks at her sister nostalgically and says, "You're growing up way too fast."

--vm--

She texts Logan about her change of plans when she gets home from dropping Heather off. He doesn't ask her to come to the party with him, she doesn't really want to go but she feels disappointed that he doesn't offer because she does want to spend time with him even if it means sharing him with his friends.

She turns on her music, puts her apron back on, starts to finish off making the cookies and tries to let go of her woes for the night.

It's when she's cleaning up the mess she's made in the kitchen that she hears the unexpected chime of the door bell. Grinning before her, clad in a green shirt and blue jeans is her brown eyed, snarky and hot mouthed boyfriend.

"Hey," he lets out, soft and needy and she honestly wasn't expecting him to be here at her doorstep tonight.

"Hey," she breaths out, head tilted slightly, curious eyes and appreciative smile because she's happy that he's here. She missed him.

"Kiss the Baker," he reads, trademark smirk on his lips, looking at her with twinkling eyes as he comes in.

She closes the door behind him and gives him a curious look, he pointedly gestures to her apron with his brows and she chuckles, rolling her eyes.

He moves in closer to her, eyes set on hers as his arms come to wrap around her waist. "Who am I to deny the embedded command of the apron makers?"

She chuckles, teasing grin falling on her lips as she stares up at him with equal playfulness. Her arms snake up his sides and she adds, "You wouldn't want to upset them."

"Mm," he bops her nose with his before leaning in and whispering, "I wouldn't want that."

She sucks in slightly when his warm breath lingers on her lips before he closes the gap between them, capturing her lips with his in a sweet, sensual kiss.

He smiles, breaking from her before it got too deep. "Is that cookies I smell?"

She doesn't answer him, instead she moves her hands to his neck and pulls him back down to her, kissing him deeper and longer than their initial kiss. He has no qualms taking her into his arms and falling into the their kiss or the kisses that follow.

It feels good to not be in a race against time, they're on her couch when Veronica finds herself glancing at the clock. She knows that Casey Gant's party has already started so she asks Logan about it and all he does is inaudibly mumble against her skin and she can't help but chuckle in response. "I thought you wanted to go to the party?"

He nuzzles his nose into her hair and murmurs into her skin, "Not tonight. It's been too long since I've hand my Veronica full. I want to be selfish with you for a little bit longer."

He kisses her neck, lightly sucking careful to not leave a mark - not that he doesn't want to but he knows it'll be awkward for her and he doesn't want to put her in that position.

She aches into him at his words, lightly nods, his lips now pepping shoulder kisses as she airs out, "I didn't want to go to the party anyway."

He smiles against her neck, his nose pressing hard against her and she doesn't know why his nose of all parts of his body but it does.

She pulls back slightly, nudging his head up with her hands and kissing him senselessly. She's so filled with want and need and uncharted desire that she doesn't really know what to do with it. She just knows that she wants to kiss him until their lips are swollen and numb to the point where they can't kiss anymore.

Her lips find his neck, she peps kisses like he had done for her and he moves his neck easily to accommodate her. Her kisses line up to his jaw before she finds her way back to the crook of his neck and lightly sucks and bites. He groans, his neck leaning into her with force she hasn't felt before and she likes it. She wants him to do that more, make noises and press his body tighter against her.

He pulls away, capturing her face with his hands, he brings her mouth to his, kissing her fully and pouring his need into her. Their eyes are closed as they lean into each other, gasping silently for air between their long drawn kisses.

Her throat feels dry and the house is quiet reminding her of how alone they are. "Do you wanna go upstairs?" She means to be suggestive but she doesn't really know how to be especially not when he's pressed against her like this and she's melting into his touch. She thinks that the suggestion is obvious enough given the context of their position.

He leans in harder into her before bowing out. "I don't think that's a good idea," he breaths out.

"Oh," she lets out, disappointing breaking through the silence.

He tightens his hold on her, silently begging for her to not misunderstand him. "I don't want us to move too fast," he tries to explain, he's never had to have this particular conversation before but he often finds himself getting lost in the taste of Veronica and it takes everything in him to break away. They're alone in this house but he knows the sanctity of the couch will preserve him some limitations that her bedroom doesn't offer. He doesn't want her to regret him.

She nods her head against him, insecurity rattling it's way up her spine and he wants to assure her but his methods come in ways that he doesn't think she's ready for so he takes a minute and tries to gather his words. He holds onto her, letting his touch assure her until his words can. "I want you so much, Veronica," he finally whispers against the silence. "I don't want to ruin us by being too selfish."

"How is it selfish if I want you too?" She whimpers out against him. She doesn't know what she's promising. She wants his skin against hers. She wants him in her arms and she wants his mouth on her lips, her neck and everywhere his hands touch. He makes her want more but she's not sure what exactly more is yet.

He whispers his love against her skin and she revels in the glory that it brings. He doesn't move them to her room and she's silently relieved because she finds herself wanting more than she's ready for and she's not sure how he knows but she's thankful that he does.

They switch on a movie, wrapped in each other, fingers caressing skin and kisses in between snarky remarks. It's calmer than before and it feels good to just be in his arms.

[lady1505]

I posted 2,388 times in 2021

298 posts created (12%)

2090 posts reblogged (88%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.0 posts.

I added 349 tags in 2021

#love island - 245 posts

#euro 2020 - 36 posts

#love island uk - 19 posts

#love island 2021 - 19 posts

#euros - 6 posts

#cara speaks - 6 posts

#england nt - 6 posts

#euro 2021 - 5 posts

#football - 4 posts

#hugo - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 48 characters

#and he starts tapping the wall qnd your thinking

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I don't mean to offend Riverdale fans, I was one at one point but how the hell has that FIVE SEASONS while Producal Son isn't renewed for a third. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

19 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 19:48:55 GMT

#4

I know literally none of my followers watch Coronation Street, ITV drama soap, but there was a plot tonight that two (Seb and Nina) alternative people (goths as ill be shortening it) who got attacked due to their identity. It was a horrific watch especially the aftermath of how the attack was that awful they were both hospitalised, nina in surgery and cliffhanger of Seb possibly dying (in soap fashion 🙄).

The thing is though although you get attached to the characters it was based on a true story of Sophie Lancaster being killed and her boyfriend assaulted due to them being goths. This shows that there is hate crime everywhere on anyone. It is horrific that this happens in real life and how we have to show it via TV to ensure that people actually know the hate goths go through.

I myself is not an alternative person/pqry of the LGBT+ community/POC however if ANY of my followers no matter if your British, American, Australian even Dutch message me if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about you and your harassment or/and assult due to hate crime of any sort.

Sorry for this just that plot really had me thinking.

Edit: the show made it way more realistic by killing Seb off, essentially making a reenactment of the tragic death of Sophie and assult on her boyfriend withba gender swap. I love how the writers done this to spread awareness that this happens in real life xxx

23 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 20:34:12 GMT

#3

Unpopular opinion but Billy Gilmour is just as fit if not more than Mount and Grealish. I said what I said. Xxx

23 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 22:20:15 GMT

#2

I love majority of people who watch island are like:

Aaron ❌- Annoying and wants a 50s housewife

Brad ❌- Definition of a fuck boy who every two days has a different type

Liam ❌- Obviously just in it for the brand deals, barely know him

Jake ❌- Will inevitably fuck Lib over

Toby ❌- he's meh rn but can see in Casa Amor he's turning on Kaz

Hugo✅- the only guy in a friendship couple yet the best guy in the villa. Sweet, nice, kind bf material. Not to mention fit af

The ladies:

Faye ❌- Arrogant and acts like she better than she is

Sharon ❌- Too annoying and bit boring. Arrogant

Liberty✅- I personally really like her, she's nice and kind. Just good person

Rachel ✅- only few days in but seems really nice and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. Deserves more than Brad.

Chloe ✅❌- it really depends. One minute chloe is a bitch next she's a great friend and lovely person! Think she's easily led by who she's around!

Kaz ✅- Queen. Deserves better than Toby. Bigs everyone up

New girls:

Millie ❔- don't know her well enough but rn seems nice enough won't hurt anyone. Like her hair

Lucinda ❔- only met her last night really, seems kind and sweet. Good match with Hugo so far

26 notes • Posted 2021-07-08 10:05:13 GMT

#1

What has happened to Sarah Everard in the UK is a horrifc tragic and unnecessary death. She took all the precautions that lets be honest we shouldn't need to. She took main street, she went home in bright clothes but she walked home in the dark alone and was murdered.

Women shouldn't need to fear men raping or stalking or assaulting us because we were walking home alone. We shouldn't need to have to use our keys as a defence mechanism or text/phone our mates and/or parents if we got home safe.

I remember one night me and two mates went out drinking and Lisa (made up names) told me and Charlotte that she was going home with a guy she met on tinder we had to get her to message us when she got there, put her snapchat map on public and message us day after. That's how fucked up it is that there were so many precautions to know she was okay.

Another thing, Twitter. That app is a mix between atrocious and hilarious. Rn its just plain horrific with most men replying to women saying what we have to do is wrong with 'well men have to do stuff like that too #notallmen' like fuck off! You aren't scared of being raped or assaulted. Maybe if you walk through dodgy part of town you might feel bit anxious but its like that ALL THE TIME FOR US!

We need to educate men on respect and I genuinely can't belief i have to say this not securely harass someone. We have to start at a young age to teach boys the respect and ingrain what is right and wrong.

Its so bloody infuriating!

(Heres a tweet and reply I found on the #notallmen hashtag and a song to match this situation to a tee)

65 notes • Posted 2021-03-10 22:08:57 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[shhhselah]

What A Wonderful Life...

​Friday, May 17, 2019

2:35pm

​​"What an interesting life you've caught me in the middle of...."

I caught myself saying this out loud a few weeks ago. That date overhead to be exact.

Life is such a journey. Such a process.

Constantly, we're growing, changing, evolving- never really staying in one spot or settling into one modus operandi. Have you ever heard the phrase, "A master piece and work in progress?" That's truly a concept I feel slips the mind of so many. Even ourselves. We know that we're changing and adjusting, but, honestly, we don't always agree with, like or desire the change we find ourselves going through. Sometimes that change alters us physically, and it may not always be flattering or pleasing.

And other times, we witness emotional, mental and spiritual transformations that either excite us, or frighten us. I've experienced this. We all have. (And actually, correction- I ​​am experiencing this. A season that rattles me because I don't recognize my spiritual surroundings.)

We all have those moments where you take stock of who you are versus who you used to be and find yourself to be a current stranger to the you once known. A stranger in your own body, a foreigner in your own thoughts.

​​When did I get so defensive? When did I become so broken? Why did I stop trusting, smiling, opening up? When did I stop talking, believing, hoping? How did I stop loving? When did I stop truly ​​living? What happened.... to "me?"

And you know what can be so damaging and yet helpful all at once? ​​M e m o r i e s.

See, while it's good to recall memories, it's so harmful to ​​harp on them. We were made to live in the present, it's why our breath comes and goes so steadily instead of staying behind in one spot that we have to consistently travel backwards to in order to reach. We were designed to live in the moment.

Those memories are a blessing. They're an opportunity to view and learn from every present you've ever found yourself in, every gift you've gotten to live in- so that you can walk a little straighter, wiser and freer in the next....but the moment you start harping on those past presents, you neglect all the undivided attention this current one requires. And you live in a duality that brings both anxiousness and confusion.

You bring a nasty case of comparison into the mix. We tend to split our time between nostalgia, trauma, reality and delusions of grandeur. Past. Present. Future.

The both good and bad times of the past, the ever steady action of the present and the unknown possibilities of the future. We live in them all and somehow expect our present selves to maintain order and a standard of satisfactory being that appeases each viewpoint.

Let me set you free here and now-

You will ​​never be completely like your old self- you've gone through too much. So much more than that self of even ​​days ago has experienced. I'm starting to learn and accept that, but it's hard for me on some days when I liked the old version better. What gives me hope, is knowing that God has a greater design for me that He didn't leave in the past, but lays peacefully in every step forward I take. If the past were better, I'd be there. But it's not. There was something there that was still obsolete, untapped and lacking.

What's more, you will ​​never be like your future self- they've witnessed more than the present can presently tell you. Secrets that God has purposed only time to hold.

And understand, your present self is constantly being prepared for the future and shaped by the past. They're under a lot of work. But that work is null in void if you don't allow them to soak up every moment they're in so they can pull something from it and be molded by it.

​​What an interesting life you've caught me in....

Who we're used to being and used to being known as, isn't going to always be the truth of who we are and will be. So set yourself free to forever be a work in progress and masterpiece all at once.

Set yourself free to live life and experience life as it comes. If the day is unpredictable, why can't your growth process be? Don't set restrictions on yourself. Live. What's meant will come and happen, because you have a sovereign God who always starts what He finishes (​​Isaiah 46:9-11). And He calls you His workmanship, His clay, His skillfully and wonderfully made creation in whom He delights.

Trust me, He has an attention to detail and His attention is all yours. You're worth it, and truly, He loves it. So be free, and live in the beautiful, yet startling vulnerability of being creation, where you don't have to constantly create yourself- forever loved and governed by Almighty above.

"12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything (in any point) you think otherwise (differently), God will reveal that (make it clear) also to you. 16 Only let us hold true (live up to) to what we have (already) attained."

Philippians 3:12-16

Don't ever feel like you have something to prove. What God has put in you is intrinsic. The areas you walk into were made to build you, be a catalyst that sparks your nature and be a field in which to practice, hone and shine in who you are. You were created for those places.

Your only job is to BE. God will continue to sculpt exactly what that "being" looks like at any given moment, whether seemingly good, bad, ugly or pleasing. That's a part of Surrender- ​​ceasing resistance, submitting to an authority greater than your own, to give up possession of, to deliver up."

Give up your ideas of what you should do, who you should be, and where you should be. It's an act harder done than said, but it's a journey that is best walked with the Creator- who has all the finer details etched out and all the possibilities accounted for- purposing each one for good. (​​Psalm 37:23, Proverbs 16:9, Romans 8:28)

Do you know the difference between Evidence and Proof?

Proof is a biased concept. It seeks to discount one thing and support another.

Evidence is objective. It has no agenda. It is simply there, and its presence tells a story.

The story of God's existence is in the evidence of creation- our world. He tells us this in ​​Romans 1:19-20.

Trees, animals, the ocean, the wind, birds, bees, flowers, and even our complex DNA, they have never moved to prove anything. They simply exist and operate in their nature, and have been a consistent testimony to something greater.

We have sought for years to understand their origin and complexity, ​​our origin and complexity. They derive from the same Caretaker who clothes the fields of grass and feeds the birds of the sky.

​​"25 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"

​​Matthew 6:25-34

You will always feel behind and be behind when you have something to prove.

God is always with us. In every moment. Living in the past or future holds no meaning, it's a trick of the enemy that keeps us between condemnation and striving desperately and futilely beyond grace.

​​"8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

​​Ephesians 2:8-10

I've had a habit of pointing to the past to remind God of where I can't go again or where I was better off. I also have a habit (which was the entirety of my 2018), where I take the snippets of what God has shown me He has for me, and I drag Him around and try to drill Him like a sergeant to get me there. The year was saturated with impatience, exhaustion, resentment, bitterness, envy, confusion and hurt.

This life is not yours when you're in Christ. It's His. ​​​​Galatians 2:20 ​​tells us that,

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

And in being His, there are plans, achievements, dreams, timings, and revelations that He's taken on the responsibility to deliver and create. This is not yours to carry.

Why carry something on your own that God told you He'd do Himself? If He put it on your heart, it's for Him to do, not you. Why try to do God's job and be Him? How futile. We fail and stall out when we attempt to take His plans, make them our own and go running off with them.

There is a partnership called Faith. That leads us to Obedience. But we can't obey who we do not serve or even acknowledge. When striving in our own efforts, understandings, assumptions and desires, when do we have time and room to consult the One who prepared our good works ahead of time?

Stay steady with Him in the now. His grace has covered your entire timeline, but reap the benefits of the fresh mercies He purposed for this moment.

​​"22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

   his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

   great is your faithfulness."

​​Lamentations 3:22-23

Don't try to run ahead. Take it from me, it leaves you bitter and worn.

Be spoiled by the God who has already completed the works.

​​"9 Remember the former things of old,

For I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like Me,

10 Declaring the end from the beginning,

And from ancient times things that are not yet done,

Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

And I will do all My pleasure,’

11 Calling a bird of prey from the east,

The man who executes My counsel, from a far country.

Indeed I have spoken it;

I will also bring it to pass.

I have purposed it;

I will also do it."

​​Isaiah 46:9-11

Prove nothing and never strive . Like evidence, just be, and watch yourself ever unfold on this journey of life as God unravels all the beautiful secrets He's placed down on the inside of you, tucked neatly away in the timeline of your path.

Time to be set free, darlings.

Live. Presently.