#One more shift and two days off!
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WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR AURA?
Honeysuckle
Succulents, key lime, glow-in-the-dark stars, blown glass, honeydew, garter snakes, notes in bottles. Your essence is honeysuckle: you are quiet and avoidant, submerged in your own privacy. You compartmentalize effortlessly; you are many pieces, and rarely do others see the whole picture. You are creative but trepid -- cautious to address your feelings even in solitude. You are the recluse. You are the librarian. You find kinship in like-minded individuals of Moss, Chartreuse, Sage, and Peach, who share your profound curiosity. You are also drawn to the expressive souls Seafoam and Apricot, who will help you grow and trust others to listen respectfully to you. However, you may struggle to get along with the people-pleasing personalities of Rose and Cream who come across as shallow and pandering.
Tagged by: @bluefeathrs (♡) Tagging: @arkhmlcst, @arobinwithoutbatman, @cxpedcrusxder, @dethdvncer, @dogtccth, @dragonskxn, @question-marked, @red-hemlock, @themckaytriarchy, @the-rorschach-mask, @twilightlane and anybody else who'd like to do this?
#🐍 || dashboard games#🐍 || memes#🐍 || headcanons#ASDFGHJKL FINALLY GOT AN ANSWER THAT WASN'T TAWNY#Not that it's a bad colour but it was all about leadership and... just wasn't Copperhead#This though? BEAUTIFUL#Much more accurate and such a soft colour <3#Sorry not gonna be on much again tonight#Work was good but was on the go the whole shift#Got shitloads done which everybody was pleased about#One more shift and two days off!#Just doing this for tonight before bed#Feeling really good about stuff lately and got plans brewing for home#Redoing entire bedroom and stuff as Ror will need a bigger tank soon :3
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#people very much want to blame readers for a lack of engagement with fic these days but frankly i think this is.... incorrect#we need to be real about WHAT ao3 is#it is an archive#it is not a space that is particularly conducive to social engagement#the most collaborative experiences i ever had around fic happened on livejournal#it was not on ff.net#like i agree that there is a depressing drop off in like...idk the idea of the social acceptability of leaving comments#and a far more pronounced divide between readers and authors#but this isn't happening bc readers suck now and they're selfish and entitled which frankly is how many posts opining about this issue sound#it's not like lurking or sorting by complete works only is NEW#these are things that have always happened#what has CHANGED imo is that the spaces where fic happens and the spaces where fandom happens are now very different#and isolated from one another#and we can blame readers for not bridging that gap all we want but it's not gonna fix it#especially since we know how well shaming people for Not Enjoying Things Correctly tends to go#like i don't have an answer to this problem but i think this ''you're entitled!'' ''no YOU'RE entitled'' back and forth#between writers and readers certainly isn't going to fix anything either#it's only going to push those two groups further away from each other#to my mind what we need is a) a platform more conducive to collabortive fic writing and fandom interaction#(think LJ or old dedicated fandom message boards)#and b) a cultural shift within fandom spaces away from this idea that authors are like... untouchable or whatever#bc from what I have observed authors who DON'T have this issue are ones who started creating fanworks from within a pre-existing friendgroup#a pre-existing readership really#and these little subsets then grow into larger readerships#the problem is how partioned all these group start#and that i think is a byproduct of an overall more hostile fandom space where people feel like they can't speak or create openly#without being in danger of running afoul of some fandom scold and their lackeys#like fandom has never lacked for drama but i do think in a post-tumblr/twitter fandom space we can all agree that shit jas gotten Buckwild#*gestures at how bg3 fandom recently speedran fandom insanity primarily on twitter*#shit is different these days and blaming each other for that is missing the forest for the trees
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my time off starts in 11 days and I cannot begin to explain how badly I want to call in sick/give away my shifts every single work day, I'm so tired
#nat talks#my job isn't even that bad I just need a vacay#ALTHOUGH last week I was so so so physically exhausted every day that it felt as if I had been out hiking every time I was at work#work stuff#I have 7 shifts left + need to finish a freelance project for a client#then I'm off to poland and greece hell yeeaaahh#oh also! I've already given away two shifts in august and one in september lmao I can't justify giving away more of them unless I have to#I can change shifts with people but I don't work enough in august to really do that + idk how september will be since I got waitlisted#for my uni program
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so fucked up to be an artist and not be able to simultaneously work on the really involved extensive piece youre really proud of And new selfindulgent gay shit And joke art for your friends all at once forever .
#j.txt#so many things I wanna draw so bad but I got this Fuck Ass JOB !!!!!!!!!#one more day..... one more shift and then im Free..... /if/ my ma doesnt decide to come visit on one of my two off days. tian ah😮💨
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neurotypicals are so frustrating,, i keep forgetting that "can you do x" means "go do x"
#yesterday i was At Work#i opened alone (we are so fucking understaffed)#at like 945 (coworker came in at 10) these two women-#who until now have done NOTHING managery. they have walked around and talked to each other and asked questions#come up and in a pissy voice like um why hasn't group started#i say i'm the only one back here#'well can't you start ONE group?'#no...im the only one back here#'can you start individuals?' yeah i'll ask [host lead]#(annoyed voice) 'um why do you have to ask her?' because i'm not a lead so she's in charge?#(angry voice) well WE are GENERAL MANAGERS and we are TELLING YOU to do SOMETHING like START INDIVIDUALS#like. chill i am literally just some guy and i am the only guy back here#i also feel its worth noting that apparently since they caught me in the hallway they assumed i hadn't been doing anything#when in reality i hadnt sat down since i got to work. all i did was doing things. there is more to my job than Watch Dogs. especially when#im the only guy doing any of the anything#and i couldnt start individuals immediately because i had to do spot cleans. because i prioritized Not Letting Dogs Sit In Their Own Shit#before dog getting some playtime#like. yes i am a Lower Level Employee. yes i havent worked here that long. but i have worked here longer than you#and im gonna take a wild guess that i care about the dogs more than you#also worth noting that i got no breaks that day (if you work a 6+ hour shift you get a 30 and a 15 at my work)#so i sat down for a total of 5 minutes and that was to take a piss#for context. i worked 7 hours. 6:15am to 1:15pm.#so i have a Bad Feeling about these new general managers. really hope im wrong and this is a one-off thing but. ohhhhh boy
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hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility
#i miss the kiddos!!!!#and like 3 of my coworkers lol#but it may not be any real benefit to have someone who can only come in for 1.5 hours a day to close#bc they would be paying me potentially more than one of my coworkers to do the same thing#then they would have two people working middle shift bc im gonna close but they're still paying them like full time and then paying me also#idk it may not work for them#however theybcant retain people for shit in that program and nobody wants to close except me lol#so it mught be worth it#if they can offer more middle or opening shifts to people#also what they really need is a fourth full time teacher innthat room but they'll never do it#but another part time teacher could help bridge the gap in coverage so that it works#maybe#idk#i would really love to do it i think#bc all the issues there were related to being full time but i dont think they'll be too hard on me if i'm part time#like i'm an independent contractor basically and i have another full time job so its not like im desperate#they cant shit on me or ask me to do anything but the shift i told them i could do lol#so it should be fine#there's literally no superviser during closing i'm basically my own boss and there's nothing to do except hand the kids off#then clean and lock up#no decisions whatsoever#im letting myself get way too excited tho#bc it could potentially not work out#this has been a shitpost
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dishwashing for a whole shift makes my hands Hurt and i'm so so sick of it ;^; just gotta make it through two more days and then hopefully i will not have to do it very often after that
#achy joints not skin dryness#frankly i would prefer to Never be stuck with another dishwashing shift#but i can live with once or twice a week#forty fuckin hours of it in one week is Too Much for me tho jesus fuck aughhh#storm's posts#personal#you can ignore this#the hand pain is just. such a personal offense#i need those for knitting and sewing :(#i was expecting and have been managing aching feet and back and those have adjusted much better#but my hands Hurt and it Sucks and i have sixteen hours of dishwashing to do in the next two days anyway#like. i had today off and my hands have been resting most of the day but they still! ache!#and in twelve hours they might be slightly less achy but at that point i have to go scrub fuckin dishes and make them hurt more again!!#and then even more the next day!!!!
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Note to self! Do NOT schedule an important meeting an hour before you have a shift because the resultant stress WILL make you puke and call in sick
#we did get chinese last night which. im nkt a huge fan of so its possible something disagreed with me and im genuinely ill#but im also stressed to fuck bc it took 20 minutes to find my paperwork#and just feeling lousy#and will 100% regret/feel guilty over taking a sickday later#but. ugh. i keep getting worn down by my shift patterns#i have a lot of one day in one day off on repeat which. is probably good? i think helps me endure longer lol but.#means i get two groups of 2-3 days off together a month and theyre the only ones with a shot at feeling restful#christ i need a different joooob#gonna look for some more today there we go thats how i het around the feeling bad#anyway its ADP so showing identical documents as last time and hoping they fuckin swapped my name on the system this time#and will probably take less than 10 mins but it involves going to the local library and i find it extremely intimidating
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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yup. im gonna quit
#i was desperately looking forward to having a three day weekend after cancelling my leave from work twice now#and being overworked to the bone#just three days. one friday and a weekend is all i asked for#and instead im being put to work on sunday :) for the 24 hour shift :) and no one can switch with me#im gonna break down sobbing im this close to it#fuck this system fuck this work fuck everything#im gonna quit ive saved up enough to survive a while just. fuck the healthcare system#for treating doctors like tools without a life#delete later#tw vent#hell the way i see it ill either quit or die#i cant take the constant shifts and being piled work on top of more work bc 'im dependable'#im not nearing my breaking point i AM at the breaking point#fuck this system and medicine and psychiatry i dont care i DONT#ive not clocked out on time in weeks#weeks! ive had to cover for lazy fucking asses whod go on two and three week holidays#and i had to cancell mine and felt bad for taking 4 days off TWO months ago!!#fucking insane i hate this im.#idek who to vent to my friends got their own issues#idk ignore me ill delete this
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something i was thinking about on stand yesterday.. danganronpa shsl lifeguard who tries to save a dying person they find, bonus points if they dont come clean about it at first because they think they actually killed that person with their efforts
#or if they do actually kill them which would be really tragic. this happens in chapter 4 of course#ok i actually put way too much thought into this. to put it into perspective i had shifts with 5 hours on stand saturdsy and sunday#i thought of it on saturday 20 mins in. so this concept has been in my brain for a while#anywayyy im thinking she had some pretty high profile eddie aikau type saves and got a little famous off that#AND is always offering to help people#so for the sake of writing another tragic athlete yuri ch4: i think the victim in her case is someone who is adamant about not wanting help#like a woman playing a sport typically seen as being manly (american football rugby wrestling etc etc)#im imagining shes from a family of pretty good (male) athletes and is constantly dealing with comparisons to portray her as weaker#she wont accept help or medical assistance because she thinks it makes her weak. which is a trait female characters should have more#so you get two really valid worldviews and its debatable whether the victim actually needed medical assistance/help or if it#just made things worse#anyway im imagining the ending of the previous chapter shows a black screen with#'unknown: hey hey are you okay?'#and ms life guard tries to give her situationship a slightly dignified resting place so we dont discover the body for a little while#not too long but a little while#actually i think the lifeguard killing the athlete with chest compressions would make a really compelling scenario#where the actual person with murderous intent was someone who poisoned or near-fatally hit the athlete#and they get to walk free (under extreme suspicion from other students) while the girl who got sooo close to saving her dies#lifeguard could be someone whos easily distracted but locks in while on duty to the point where shes like a different person#but slipping up and breaking the athletes rib (or whatever) was her one moment of panic#because she cared about the victim on a personal level#i neednto be sedated so i shut the fuck up. tomorrow is the first day of school bro#i DID say i had 10 hours to think about this
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not my dad not liking moral orel season 3 🤭🤭🤭that's so embarrassing for him (<- he's not wrong for feeling that way but i think it's like 60% because he doesn't like it when art gets weird and that's so so tragic for him)
#i actually think his points make sense this time. which tbqh is not normally how i feel when he criticizes smth i love#basically he was like s3 was a completely different show from the first two seasons#and he didn't like how all over the place and directionless it felt#and honestly yeah ok i can see that#personally i think the choice to broaden the focus to moralton broadly vs mostly just orel is really interesting#and it allows for different facets of their critique of fundie waspisms to extend to situations/characters orel wouldn't really be privy to#(could you imagine 'alone' with orel there? me neither)#and i personally liked them fleshing out the marginal characters. i never found that boring or like a major diversion#again they're like 11 min episodic(ish) things it's hard for them to feel like they drag on y'know#it shows a lot of ambition and i think they pulled it off really well tbh (cancellation aside)#but i will agree that the transition is a little sudden. nature is such a big moment for the series#and for orel's arc specifically but then we spend little time with orel post-nature so the tone shift doesn't#necessarily align with his realization (at least in terms of the canon timeline. ep release order does align)#it's sudden but we jump back to before the shattering. it's disorienting and i think it's kind of cool as hell#a realization like orel's in nature is gonna throw the past into question and color his life and thus the town#(bc let's face it orel is the real mayor of moralton kfhsjs) and while we've been seeing Some of moralton's ugliness#in every episode until now it's shown in full force in and post-nature (release-wise). so when the timeline jumps around#and it all feels twisted and hazy and sickening and it All Comes Back To The Hunting Trip as our point of reference#for when things are happening it makes it feel like the trip Caused this disturbance. it's almost a spatio-temporal THING#like orel IS the center of this universe. my point is it's weird and i like it a lot i think it works#but anyway i think s3 is a natural evolution of s1+2 albeit an accelerated one#and i really wish we'd gotten to see more of what s3 morel was cooking bc it was setting up some really cool stuff imo#like he hated everything w mommy censordoll x clay but it's SUCH a cool place to take their characters. freud would go crazy#moral orel#and i think if they knew where they had to end the season maybe focusing on other characters was a way to keep orel stagnant enough to like#end the finale where they needed him. maybe.#we actually DID finish it yesterday. i rewatched the finale the day before bc i was impatient but yeah 👍#now it's chapter black time >:}
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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Ngl I’m getting tired of people asking me about my start date for the new role im gonna be taking up soon. Like. The area isn’t done being built yet. The SECOND I know a start date I’m gonna be frolicking around my current location cheering about it, Y’ALL WILL KNOW. I WISH I had a start date but I don’t 😭
#even worse the MANAGERS are asking about it#LIKE WON’T YOU GUYS KNOW BEFORE I DO?#it’s probably gonna be by May or June. HOPEFULLY earlier?#then one person had the audacity to say they lied to me about it like no?#i literally had a meeting about everything the other week. I have the job#sorry it just pissed me off and I need to rant lmao#I know people are just excited and one of the hosts is waiting for me to leave so she can transfer into bussing#which idk why she wants that downgrade but whatevs#but trust me. I wanna get out of here I’m losing my sanity more and more each day lmao#but luckily I don’t close the rest of this week#off at 10 tonight I open the next two days#off Tuesday bc someone thankfully took my shift#then work 4-10 Wednesday and Thursday#and off Friday and Saturday#having a lil’ potluck with some friends on Friday then taking my niece to her first ever convention on Saturday!
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bringing lilac boquets for my coworkers not because i like all of them but because i suffer from incurable are you mad at me disease
#one of my two nice coworkers was upset abt switching shifts with me yesterday even tho our supervisor made us#and my supervisor seemed annoyed inhad to leave early for my doctor's appointment#also my supervisor is lowkey not nice and i think she doesn't like me#we're supposed to all share the three cleanups and four diaper changes a day but she keeps shifting hers off on me#also she talks shit abt literally everyone when they're not around#and i swear i HEARD her whisper to my other coworker how much i get paid an hour while i was doing her cleanup yesterday#and today that coworker was like oh you shouldn't let her open your work app for you because she can see how much you make#so like. confirmed#also i get paid garbage so idk why she's gossiping about it they both def make more than me i just started?#maybe i make the same as them and thats why its shocking but they had to match my pay from the other job i had#but literally its not that much like its not enough for a pot of people to live on#im really lucky i only pay rent to my parents and no utilities or anything#anyway....begging her to like me with gifts bc doing her job isn't enough 🤪#lot not pot lol*
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the other grads going 'we love having three-day work weeks and vacation time' well that must be fucking nice!!!
#for context if you work 36 hrs/wk (3 12 hr days) it's still considered full time#you make less money but you get bonus if you volunteer for shifts#but we have to make 80 hrs biweekly so we have to do a stupid 8 hr every two weeks#and I just want the cleanliness of a three-day week PLEASE#anyway I just signed up for the january and february schedule#call every other weekend is annoying but it does mean money#and I need to get these loans paid off already!!! I have a six month plan but also I'm impatient#none of the og ppl at work have been able to take a vacation more than 4 days long#one of them is being denied her jan vacation so she's just like I'll call out#she got offered a job with lower stress better schedule and more vacation and our manager is NOT doing much to try to keep her on#I still have a whole week of vacation left this year but am i going to be able to take it? absolutely not#better take at least 2 next year#cor.txt
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