#One day we will do new battle in far far future and hopefully Ill give you some real stuff

[captainkurosolaire]

Trick N’ Treats ~ Budokai 2 ~ P2

[/// ♫  Extinction ♫ \\\] As tension settled the howl of wind swishing directly in a cross from the pair. Their jaws both clamped before it was action time. Like two rodeo steeds running out of the gate they were off. The Captain instantly reached back throwing in a popping click his satchel pouch containing a solid object and chunking it. A smoke grenade unpinned thrown -- Shiro scoffed to such trivial deceptions. Did this ingrate forget who he was battling? -- Please. He’d clack his fingers to snapping forcing the howling winds aspected to ice to encompass and prevent the smoke even from raising out of the canister. -- But that wasn’t a goal! That was Captain’s ploy, a distraction. One second his eyes drifting from the prize. The blinks of the Captain’s shadow happened nearly faster than most eyes could interpret. Anyone who knew him would instantly think it was just his patented, <Ghost Step> (Shukuchi) and instantly assume it but why would the Captain, use it just to step to where he was again? Cause it seemed, nothing was astray. It’d take a little bit of attention to detail but this Captain had swapped blades seemingly. From two pitch black scimitars to his more run-down antique katanas. Shiro formed a thick barrier surrounding him that was almost like a regal ice aetherial suit, it was light and snazzy enough to not hoist him down. He’d take a surprise by going on the offense. Something he wasn’t often known for taking a bee-line charge. Drawing and using his elegant diamond encrusted Rapier, ‘Mol’usa’ his grand weaponry, that was ever as potent as the namesake, named after his Mother, Half-Sister and now even Daughter. This was already a thing that debunk the pirate’s previous statement about the Nobleman not understanding value... The Captain had to work quickly to block and parry with his dual wield against the noble man’s suave fencing ability instantly going in a noble-fighting stance. This was utmost important to know. That this style took advantage of one arm below the back to support. To most this often looked like a cockiness feat but it was balance structure, it allowed Shiro to be in-control and defensive still while also being able to hit pin-point attack, through exploited means. Often used to battle against someone heavily guarded. In the clashes of two trained both would land a cut, but Captain’s cheek would bleed firstly. The torn flesh made a blood gem instantly drop from the harsh weather and liquid, drying instantly. While Captain’s blow only chipped at the ice. -- But something took place after that. Captain started to get really, really, formidable leverage. His swings started to break the guards and snap back hitting connected blows until a tiny piece of fabric of the white suit was torn... The Keeper scurried back in steps taking back his main place and forming a even more booming barrier his eye brows unflinching with disbelief... The Captain snarled and threw his steel directly like piercing lances at the ice penetrating into it but meeting cold to steel was often a sentenced to be locked. The debonair in white cackled manically... “Fool!...” He believed the win was just right there decided how did the Captain plan to break his supposed oppressor barrier without his weapons. However... With those flawed steel blades as often to expect with a schemer they were laced with speckles of something that was typically thought to be used in a battle situation let alone a battle. Rock-salt, were doused to the hardened streaks. With each of his Grade One katana’s that were left in the Noble’s near perfect defense. -- Ever slightly, melting and weakening the temperatures of the solid formation and corroding the impeccable barrier, a poison strictly placed in winning thoughts by the gallant pirate. Would his stated words truly fall to merit’s stain palms? Suddenly the pitch changed as the visible ice could be heard by his Miqo’te hearing sizzling... melting. The impossible was happening. With so many grains of rock-salt engraved and locked it nearly happened immediately. The pirate wasted little time taking opportunity to step forward and search for a delivering blow against the hilt of his blade to dig it and pierce the Noble with his flawed defenses against him, no where to run... He was sentenced --- Or was he? [These events would have taken place up to from the slash that Shiro placed against the Captain’s cheek... Everything beyond that... Was an optical hallucination. The infected pirate only saw what he wished was taking place -- a hypnosis..]~ Suddenly a powerful thrust of a rapier entering the back side of where the Captain’s shallow heart laid and between the sternum. “Game over.” He whispered breezily within the heathen’s feline ears. For you see, the Mol’usa was no ordinary blade. It held a very endearing property befitting a stratgeist with an ability that gave the user upon a first-strike, it could deplete One of the Five senses, at randomness. The pirate often was famed for his sight. So by the intelligent mind of the Noble, eliminating that seemed to be the right go. But this didn’t limit what happened to the Five Senses or its potency, sometimes regarding sight. One would see hallucinations, such as this case. Other times they often grew blind outright. The Captain caved a gasping huff before hunching over holding his wound and faltering in a slump... Over? .                                              .                                                  ...You wish!                 ....“Oi, fancy.”   Would emit from behind Shiro with that irritating swashbuckling voice....                           “And when did ye think you were fighting me, me?” He grinned fitting that of a devious-bandit before instantly using his katanas once again to bring into the reinforced barrier surrounding the Keeper. The Captain seemingly that was stricken would poof and dissolve into an extra layer of fluid a tiny sleet. A mere clone vanquished. Do you recall when there was a mentioning of the Ghost-Step being used? The Captain played against the rules, factoring in a trail of replacement clones all waiting and lurking with cloaks awaiting to switch out with the real one for moments like these with Ghost-Step. This necessary wasn’t cheating. It was still him, he was just exploiting in his own way. The rules were often meant to be construed or contorted. In a battle of swapping mind and tricks. This became simply another Chess Match. But the Captain had to do this... For there was no way in Twelve, he could risk getting hit once by Shiro whatever it was or small it seemed. For if he did, it was really, a game over match. Shiro’s element was the perfect imprisonment and for who the man of the free was, it was a bane to unsuppressed. {~ How is this battle going to play out! What sort of extra sorcery would be unveiled.... We’ll find out next time! ~]                                                                                        - To be continued.

[Previous Chapter]

[uncloseted]

why do you think it seems like people are more depressed and anxious now than ever before ? do you think social media has something to do with it ?

Okay so first a few disclaimers.  I’m not a mental health professional or an epidemiologist, so these should be taken more as casual speculation than fact.  Also, I grew up in the US, so a lot of this is likely US-centric, but I think a lot of these factors are problems that are prevalent throughout the world. So in order to answer this question, the first thing we have to ask is what causes anxiety and depression in the first place?  A lot of people (especially on Tumblr) have a tendency to blame “brain chemicals”, which is true in part, but not the entire story.  Depression and anxiety are complex, and what causes them is multifaceted.  These causes can also include (but aren’t limited to) genetic vulnerability, faulty mood regulation, stressful life events, medications, medical problems, early childhood loses and trauma, the way you learn to relate to the world in childhood, and structural differences in the brain.  It should be noted that hormones and hormone fluctuations are included in that, which may be part of why teenagers present with more symptoms of mental health issues than other people.

The first thing we should consider and something I think accounts for a lot of the increase in depression and anxiety is access to mental health care.  As we talk about depression and anxiety more as a culture and as our health care systems become more aware of mental illness, more people are being diagnosed with mental health issues and speaking about those diagnoses freely.  The criteria for depression and anxiety has also become slightly more flexible than it used to be, which also means that more people are being diagnosed.  However, while more people are being diagnosed, those people aren’t necessarily getting a holistic approach to treatment.  Many people are diagnosed by their primary care doctor and given mediation, but do not see a therapist or make lifestyle changes.  So, more people being diagnosed but not necessarily more people getting adequate treatment or recovering.

Moving on to lifestyle changes, our culture is not ideally suited for good mental health.  As a culture, our diets aren’t great, we don’t sleep enough, we don’t exercise, we’re culturally isolated and often lacking in community, we don’t do things for other people, we don’t get a lot of downtime or vacation time, and we aren’t taught how to regulate our emotions or deal with negative feelings (and are often taught maladaptive coping mechanisms instead).  All of this can play a real part in making people who are already predisposed to being anxious or depressed worse. 

We also have a lot of conflicting cultural expectations- on the one hand we’re supposed to do what we love and be happy, but we’re also expected to be successful and functioning members of society, which don’t always go hand in hand.  And our focus on being happy can actually be counterproductive- when people become very focused on happiness, they become anxious about not feeling happy or about how to feel happier, which in turn brings their mood down.  Our reliance on digital devices also plays into this; some research has shown that those who have grown up with technology use their devices as a coping mechanism (to ignore or escape from negative emotion) and are emotionally unprepared to deal with difficult situations because of it.


On the topic of devices, I do think media and social media also play a role in this problem.  It used to be that the media you had access to was primarily local news, and occasionally something national or international.  Now, we are inundated with news from all over the world, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  This causes a unique problem; we are aware of all sorts of bad things happening in the world, more than ever before, and I think many of us feel like we have a responsibility to do something about each and every one of those issues but can’t.  That helplessness and feeling of responsibility contributes, I think, to a lot of people’s anxiety.  The current political situation also isn’t helping, particularly if you’re young, liberal, or part of a marginalized group.  Feeling like the world is falling apart because of our elected officials can be really scary, especially again when you feel like you don’t have any control over the situation.

As far as social media goes,  we are constantly presented with images of other people with which to compare ourselves against, and I think even if we consciously know that, those images can make us feel inadequate or like we need to be doing more.
  Comparison has been scientifically proven to be the thief of joy, whether we consciously recognize it or not.

We’re also a generation entering into a poor economy, and a lot of us are over-educated and under-employed.  However, our parents ideas of what we “should” be doing are still there- buy a house in the suburbs, get married, have children- things that are not necessarily financially feasible anymore.  And so again, a mismatch between expectations others have of us and the reality of our situation that causes feelings of inadequacy.  And when it comes to work, many of us are in jobs where we’re under-stimulated, doing way less work than the amount of hours we’re at work for, or where we’re (to borrow from Marx) alienated from our labor.  School is similar; it’s not really designed with students in mind, and it isn’t always a stimulating experience where you can see the purpose of what you’re learning.

On the topic of parents, that has contributed to rising levels of anxiety and depression as well.  “Helicopter parents” make their children reliant on them, and when that child grows up and has to be an adult, they’re unprepared to be independent, which can cause a lot of anxiety.  Helicopter parents are also likely to be anxious themselves, and so they model anxious behavior for their children, causing their children to be anxious adults when they grow up.

I think the amount of choice we have also contributes to the anxiety/depression question.  When you’re told what you should do, that can suck, but at least you have an idea of what the “right” choice is.  We have an unlimited number of choices that we have to make each and every day with very little guidance as to what the right choice is, but lots of expectations about how we should be. Again, anxiety provoking- what if you make the wrong decision and fail to live up to expectations?  Along with that, we have an idea that we’re in control of our own lives and every decision that we make.  In happiness research, there’s this idea of the “locus of control”- basically how much control you think you have over your life.  People with low loci of control are happier than those who feel like they’re in control of everything, and so I think having so much choice and so much control is contributing to why people are unhappy.  And as a result of that high locus of control, we spend a lot more time thinking about the past and the future, and less time sitting with ourselves in the present.  We don’t give ourselves a lot of downtime to just exist, without external distractions or letting our thoughts control our experiences.  Learning how to be mindful and fully present is an important skill in order to battle depression and anxiety.

Culturally, like I said before,  I think depression and anxiety have become more acceptable to talk about, which is good!  But those discussions are also creating a sort of echo chamber, where everyone around you is also struggling.  I think the sort of “depression meme culture” we’re seeing online today is actually a problem because of that- people are pulling each other down instead of working together to recover from their mental health problems.  It’s becoming normalized to be a teenager or twenty something with a mental health issue, and the more we accept this as normal, the less people will seek help or treatment.

Last one, and this is a strange one, but bear with me here- I think that 9/11 had a huge impact on the anxiety levels of people born in the 90s in the US (and I imagine similar events that have happened in other countries would have the same impact).  I think children who saw that happen but couldn’t really process the situation are more likely to become anxious adults because to a ten year old brain it seems like something terrible could happen anytime, anywhere, and that trains our brains to constantly be on red alert, waiting for the next catastrophic thing to happen.  I would guess this is especially true of people (like me) who lived in New York when it happened.
  On a larger scale, I think many of us have never really had the luxury of living in a world that’s (seemingly) working well and at peace, and there’s kind of a generalized, low-level anxiety that comes with that.

This definitely isn’t a comprehensive look at the issue, but hopefully this gives some insight into it at the very least.  If you all can think of other factors that might contribute to the rise in anxiety and depression, please send them in!

[davidmann95]

Superman & Lois Pilot Script Review

I’ve been reliably informed that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and indeed as my laptop and everything on it have been unusable for a couple months after a mishap, I went from ‘maybe I’ll write something on the pilot script for Superman & Lois’ to ‘as soon as I can get my hands back on that thing I’m writing something up’. I’m actually surprised none of you folks asked about it when I’ve mentioned several times that I read it; I was initially hesitant, but I’ve seen folks discussing plot details on Twitter and their reactions on here, so I guess WB isn’t making much of a thing out of it. Entire pilots have leaked before and they just rolled with it, so I suppose that isn’t surprising.��Anyway, the show’s been pushed back to next year, and also the world is literally sick and metaphorically (and also a little literally) on fire, so I thought this might be fun if anyone needs a break from abject horror. 

(Speaking of the world being on fire: while trying to offer a diversion amidst said blaze, still gonna pause for the moment to add to the chorus that if opening your wallet is a thing you can do, now most especially is a time to do it. I chipped in myself to the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and even a casual look around here or Twitter will show people listing plenty of other organizations that need support.)

What I saw floating around was, if not a first draft, certainly not the final one given Elizabeth Tulloch later shared a photo of the cover for the final script crediting Lee Toland Krieger as the director rather than a TBD, but the shape of things is clearly in place. I’m going for a relative minimum of spoilers, though I’ll discuss a bit of the basic status quo the show sets up and vaguely touch on a few plot points, but if you want a simple response without risk of any story details: it’s very, very good. Clunky in the way the CW DC shows typically are, and some aspects I’m not going to be able to judge until the story plays out further, but it’s engaging, satisfying, and moreover feels like it Gets It more broadly than any other mass-media Superman adaptation to date.

The Good

* The big one, the pillar on which all else rests: this understands Lois and it really understands Clark. Lois isn’t at the center of the pilot’s arc, but she’s everything you want to see that character be - incisive, caring, and refusing to operate at less than 110% intensity with whatever she’s dealing with at any given time, the objections of others be damned. Clark meanwhile is a good-natured, good-humored dude who you can see in both the cape and the glasses even as those identities remain distinct, who’s still wrestling with his feelings of alienation and duty and how those now reflect his relationships with his children. The title characters both feel fully-formed and true to what historically tends to work best with them from day one here in ways I can’t especially say for any other movie or show they’ve starred in.

* While the suit takes a back seat for this particular episode, when Superman does show up in the opening and climax it absolutely knows how to get us to cheer for him; there’s more than one ‘hell yeah, it’s SUPERMAN, that guy’s the best!’ moment, and they pop.

* While the superheroics aren’t the biggest focus here, when they do arrive, the plan seems to be that they’ll be operating on an entirely different scale than the rest of the Arrowverse lineup. Maybe they scripted the ideal and’ll be pared-down come time for actual filming and effects work, or maybe they’re going all-out for the pilot, but the initial vision involves a massive super-rescue and a widescreen brawl that goes way, way bigger in scope than any I’m aware of on the likes of Supergirl. I heard in passing on Twitter from someone claiming to be in the know that the plan for Superman & Lois is that it’ll be fewer episodes with a higher budget, more in line with the DC Universe stuff if not exactly HBO Max ‘prestige TV’, and whether it’s true or not (I think it’s plausible, the potential ratings here are exponentially higher than anything else on the network so they’d want to put their best foot forward) they seem to be writing it as if that’s the idea.

* This balances its tones and ambitions excellently: it’s a Kent-Lane family drama, it’s Lois digging in with some investigative reporting to set up a major subplot, it’s Superman saving Metropolis and battling a powerful high-concept villain, and none of it feels like it’s banging up at awkward angles with the rest. There are a pair of throwaway lines in here so grim I can’t believe they were put in a script for a Superman TV show even if they don’t make it to air, and they in no way undermine the exhilaration once he puts on the cape or the warmth that pervades much of it. This feels as if it’s laying the groundwork for a Superman show that can tackle just about any sort of story with the character rather than planing its feet in one corner and declaring a niche, and so far it looks like it has the juice to pull it off.

* While the pilot doesn’t focus on him in the same way as the new kid, Jonathan Kent fits well enough for my tastes with the broad strokes of his personality from the comics, albeit if he had made it to 14 rather than 10 without learning about his dad being Superman. A pleasant, kinda dopey, well-meaning Superman Jr. - the biggest deviation, one I approve of, is that he can also kinda be a gleeful little shit when dealing with his brother in ways that remind you that this is very much also Lois Lane’s boy.

* We don’t know much about the season villain as of yet, but it’s an incredibly cool idea that I’m shocked that they’re going for right away, and I absolutely want to see how they play out as a character and how they’ll bounce off all the other major players.

* The way this seems to be framing itself in relation to the Superman movies and shows before it feels inspired to me: there are homages and shout-outs to and bits of conceptual scaffolding from Lois & Clark, Smallville, Donner, and more, but they’re all shown in ways that make it clear that those stories are part of his past rather than indicators of the baseline he’s currently operating off of. We get a retrospective of his and Lois’s history right off the bat with most of what you’d expect, and combined with those references the message is clear: this is a Superman who’s been through all the vague memories that you, prospective casual viewer, have of the other stuff you saw him in once upon a time, but this series begins the next phase of his life after what that general cultural impression of him to date covers. It strikes me as a good way of carrying over the goodwill of that nostalgia and iconography, while building in that this is a show with room to grow him beyond that into something more nuanced (and for that matter true to the character as the comics at their best have depicted him) than they tended towards. Where Superman Returns attempted to recapture the lightning in a bottle of an earlier vision of him in full, and Man of Steel tried to turn its back on anything that smelled of Old and Busted and Uncool entirely, perhaps this splitting of the difference - engaging with his pop culture history and visibly taking what appealed from some of those well-known takes, while also drawing a clear line in the sand between those as the past and this as the future - is what will finally engage audiences.

The Bad

* This is the sort of thing you have to roll with for a CW superhero show, and that lives and dies by the performances, but: the dialogue varies heavily. There are some really poignant moments, but elsewhere this is where it shows its early-draftiness; a decent amount is typical Whedon-poisoned quippiness or achingly blunt, and some of the ‘hey, we’re down with the kids!’ material for Jon, Jor, and Lana’s kid Sarah is outright agonizing. I suspect a lot of it will be fixed in minor edits, actor delivery, and hopefully the younger performers taking a brutal red pen to some of their material - this was written last January and the show’s now not debuting until next January, they’ve got plenty of time for cleanup - but if this sort of the thing has been a barrier to entry for you in the past with the likes of The Flash, this probably won’t be what changes your mind.

* There are a few charming shout-outs to other shows, but much moreso, Superman & Lois actually builds in a big way out of Crisis. Which is a-okay with me, except that what exactly that was is rather poorly conveyed given that lots of people will be giving this a spin with no familiarity with that. Fixable with a line or two, but important enough to be worth noting.

Have to wait and see how it plays out

* The series’ new kid, Jordan Kent, is so far promising with potential to veer badly off-course. He’s explicitly dealing with mental illness, and not on great terms with Clark at the beginning in spite of the latter’s best efforts, the notion of which I’m sure will immediately put some off. Ultimately the commonalities between father and son become clear, and he’s not written as a caricature in this opening but as a kid with some problems who’s still visibly his parents’ boy, but obviously the ball could be fumbled here in the long term.

* Lois’s dad is portrayed almost completely differently here than in the past in spite of technically still being her military dad who has some disagreements with her husband. There are some nice moments and interesting new angles but it seems possible that the groudwork is being laid for him to be Clark’s guy in the chair, and not only does he not need that he most DEFINITELY doesn’t need that to be a member of the U.S. Military, especially when one of the first and best decisions Supergirl made when introducing him was to make clear he had stopped working with the government any more than necessary years ago. Maybe it can be stretched if his dad-in-law occasionally calls him up to let him know about a new threat he’s learned about, and maybe they’ll even do something really interesting with that push-and-pull, but if Superman’s going to be even tacitly functioning as an extension of the military that’s going to be a foundational sin.

* As I was nervous about, Superman & Lois has some political flavor, but much to my delighted surprise, there’s no grossly out of touch hedge-betting in the way I understand Supergirl has gone for at times. As of the pilot, this is an explicitly leftie show, with the overarching threat of the season as established for Lois and Clark as reporters being how corporate America has stripmined towns like Smallville and manipulated blue collar workers into selling out their own best interests. Could that go wrong? Totally, there’s already an effort to establish a particular prominent right-wing asshole as capable of decency - without as of yet downplaying that he’s a genuinely shitty dude - and vague hints that some of the towns’ woes might be rooted more in Superman-type problems than Lois and Clark problems. But that they’re going for it this directly in the first place leaves me hopeful that the show won’t completely chicken out even if there’ll probably be a monster in the mix pulling a string or two; Greg Pak and Aaron Kuder’s Action Comics may justify Superman punching a cop by having him turn out to be a shadow monster so as to get past editorial, but it’s still a story about how sometimes Superman’s gotta punch a cop, and hopefully this can carry on in that spirit of using what wiggle room it has to the best of its ability.

So, so far so good. Could it end up a show with severe problems carried on the backs of Hoechlin and Tulloch’s performances? Absolutely. But thus far, the ingredients are there for all its potential problems to be either fixed, subverted, or dodged alright, and even when it surely fumbles the ball at junctures, I earnestly believe this is setting itself up to be the most fleshed-out, nuanced, engaging live-action take on these characters to date. And god willing, if so, the first real stepping stone in decades to proper rehab on Superman’s image and place in pop culture.

[happinessandbeyond]

Questioning and Reflections on Educating Gen Z and Gen Alpha: Changing systems, Structures and Interactions.

Who are the Gen Z?

Gen Z are those individuals who are born between 1995 and 2012.

Who are the Gen Alpha?

Gen Alpha are those individuals who are born between 2012 and 2025.

This article does not cater only to the privileged, to those who can afford schooling and to those without disabilities. I’m going to consciously try and cover how and why our system needs to change for the present generations in the schooling system and the next set of them.

A global pandemic was enough to provoke me into thinking what we really need to start changing in the way we deliver information and how we do it.

Our present system consists of educational boards for the so called normal functioning child. For those children with sensory impairments, specially-abled, gifted, and intellectually challenged, our educational and service providers have a set of activities, fundraising campaigns, trainings and vocational opportunities which only help in functioning to a certain extent so as to make one independent. Have we really invested resources to enable inclusivity into understanding what a person with a certain challenge could be going through in a global crises, has there been a deeper understanding and research as to what a person with emotional and physical challenge needs in order to fight a battle such as this. What does it mean to be self sufficient and independent then?

The “real” question everyone asks ‘what are we preparing our children for?’

And the “real” answer that is often given is “We are preparing them for life”. While we are in a middle of a crises our education system caters only to a handful of people who go into becoming experts in scientific research and solution finding. While we ace in being heavily populated we are definitely falling far behind in providing opportunities for the masses in order to help the masses in turn.

While we constantly emphasize on the fact that children are the future, then how come none of the children are finding any meaning in the system of our education? What future can they possibly even dream of when opportunities are only for some and not others?

The two generations after the millennial’s are the one’s that we need to focus on, in order to save lives and add meaning and not just prepare them for life.

The RTE Act, the rule of having a special needs child in a mainstream school is not what we should be proud of, we can only be proud when inclusion is achieved as an unsaid law and prepares children into inculcating basic qualities and values such as helping, empathic understanding which can then be utilized in a progressive manner where children are encouraged to think and reflect critically. By this I mean using some useful core values and applying the knowledge base towards a healthy and meaningful lifestyle.

Our present structure consists of teacher-student, facilitator-student, guide-student and so on. The role of the “knowledge” provider remains in a position of someone who is experienced and in a place to educate. When a structure based on hierarchy and power exists there is a passive killer that is constantly being built within the psyche of the child which is DOUBT.

As adults most of us have ideas and novel plans on bringing about change in our own ways, but why is it that only a small percentage of us can actually execute it? It’s mostly because we are dependent on an authority for approval and validation on whether it’s right or wrong. But then the reality lies in the fact that risks are involved either way, then why not follow our instincts? And this self doubt mostly occurs because the system in which we are taught and raised makes one doubt themselves FIRST even before standing up to speak and express. Although I do want to emphasize that there is a thin line between thinking twice and expressing, which should also be role modeled at a very young age.

Research in child psychology has shown and proved that children at the age of three onwards have the capacity to absorb any information that is exposed to them repeatedly or instructed. In my work with children of that age group I have observed firsthand, the levels intelligence and their capability to reason and resolve conflicts with their own age groups and even with adults given the freedom to express and listen. If we do have such a wonderful opportunity, then why not expose children to an environment that is real, authentic and free of self-doubt.

The brain of a gen z and a gen alpha child is much more hyper stimulated due to the changing lifestyles of adults and exposure to increased levels of screen time radiation. Where our educational structure and interaction is based on books and exams the ever evolving brain thirsts for something more meaningful. When there is no rationale and logic behind some of the most relevant questions that children constantly ponder over and ask, a bigger passive killer is built within the psyche of the child which is loss of interest. It can arguably be said that children are curious by nature, I do not disagree, but what does concern me and should concern all of us is that they begin to get curious about things that don’t hold any meaning and purpose.

Here I give you some of the questions that children between the age of 6-13 have asked me.

 ·    Why do we need exams?

·    What is the point of carrying so many books every day?

·    Why do we have such limited classed of PE?

·    Why don’t we have an option to exercise choice in how we want to learn and study?

·  Why should we study so much and some of us have to sit at home after marriage?

Honestly I wish I’d told them that it’s all a money making racket and a business idea to run schools, and that no one really cares about what they do or who they become after a given point. But again I’m one of the passive culprit who was also put into the system from the age of 3.

Although to most things I told them that I do not have a definite answer and that I’m still in the process of figuring it out.

In our ways of interaction with children of the gen z and the gen alpha, (I mean all children irrespective of any medical or psychological condition) our education system and training facilities have a long way to go in their ways of interaction which can only start by not repairing the roots but by growing new roots.

Soon after the pandemic hit every country, some of the schools in India were converted into hospitals and shelter for those who need to be quarantined, some institutions have gone out of their way to help students and provide classes online, then again the online classes in India only caters to a handful of them and here again, we do need to question if that’s what education means and if that’s what is important as opposed to providing mental health and physical health services for every child.

I posed this question to a few children in the present schooling system and here’s what they had to say.

 Question:

 How do you think your education system could have prepared you to battle a global pandemic?

Washing our hands , putting our elbows front while sneezing and all other safety precautions should not only be told when such pandemic arrives it should be mainly put in education curriculum because if we learn this from childhood then itself we can apply it strictly when such pandemic arrives.

It should be taught each and every citizen of the country should strictly follow the rules put up by the respected country (during lock down some people were unnecessarily out without any reason)

Education system should also be prepared for online classes before itself so that studies will not be disturbed.

Education system should bring awareness in the schools of rural areas to help them build up their immune system.

Lasya – 8th grade (Bangalore-India)

______________________________________________________________

Our education system should have some practical experiments in the lab showing the importance of washing hands and being hygienic, and the explanation of it and the consequences and result could have made us aware of all the diseases. The education system should have seminars regarding self hygiene, and how these viruses spread and become a global pandemic affecting people. They should have at least had soaps in the washrooms so that children have some impact on cleanliness. Though there are some chapters in the children’s books but not much importance is being given to hygiene. Our system should teach children basics about viruses and bacteria. The higher grade students know much about it and they are aware of things and it has helped them to stay safe.

 Aina- 10th grade (Bangalore-India)

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 I think the education system should have emphasized how viruses and illnesses spread and how important it is to stay home and take precautions against it. I feel like there are people in my school and community who do not understand the seriousness of the coronavirus pandemic and think it’s ok to keep going out unnecessarily.

We should have been taught about previous outbreaks in the past and how we as students can help slow/stop the spread of viruses.

As for what my school and education system has done as an effect of the coronavirus, I think they are doing the best they can. Our school district quickly implemented an online learning system for us so that we can still hopefully graduate on time. Although many school events got cancelled, the teachers, principal and counsellors at my school often offer support for students during this time. Many of my teachers and even the school principal are very understanding.

Our school district even gave away the districts laptops to students who don’t have their computers at home and offer WIFI hotspots. There are a lot of things that are unknown at this time such as whether or not my class will even have a graduation and whether or not we will ever go back to school again, but I certainly feel that my school has done the best they can despite the circumstances.

However, we should have been educated on what to do and how not to panic during a pandemic, which my school is also trying to do through online classes.

Prarthana 12th grade (USA-Texas)

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[imuktadul-blog]

The Next Big Thing in Health Care Reform - Why Are People So Worked Up?

Why are Americans so aroused about health care reform? Statements like "don't touch my Medicare" or "everyone should have access to state of the art health care regardless of cost" are in my opinion uninformed and visceral responses that indicate a poor understanding of our health care system's history, its current and future resources and therefore the funding challenges that America faces going forward. While we all wonder how the health care system has reached what some ask as a crisis stage. Let's attempt to take a number of the emotion out of the talk by briefly examining how health care during this country emerged and the way that has formed our thinking and culture about health care. thereupon as a foundation let's check out the pros and cons of the Obama administration health care reform proposals and let's check out the concepts put forth by the Republicans?

Access to state of the art health care services are some things we will all agree would be an honest thing for this country. Experiencing a significant illness is one among life's major challenges and to face it without the means to buy it's positively frightening. But as we shall see, once we all know the facts, we'll find that achieving this goal won't be easy without our individual contribution.

These are the themes i will be able to touch on to undertake to form some sense out of what's happening to American health care and therefore the steps we will personally fancy make things better.

A recent history of yank health care - what has driven the prices so high? Key elements of the Obama health care plan The Republican view of health care - free market competition Universal access to state of the art health care - a worthy goal but tough to realize what can we do? First, let's get a touch historical perspective on American health care. this is often not intended to be an exhausted check out that history but it'll give us an appreciation of how the health care system and our expectations for it developed. What drove costs higher and higher?

To begin, let's address the American war . therein war, dated tactics and therefore the carnage inflicted by modern weapons of the age combined to cause ghastly results. Not generally known is that the majority of the deaths on each side of that war weren't the results of actual combat but to what happened after a battlefield wound was inflicted. to start with, evacuation of the wounded moved at a snail's pace and this caused severe delays in treating the wounded. Secondly, many wounds were subjected to wound care, related surgeries and/or amputations of the affected limbs and this often resulted within the onset of massive infection. So you would possibly survive a battle wound only to die at the hands of medical aid providers who although well-intentioned, their interventions were often quite lethal. High death tolls also can be ascribed to everyday sicknesses and diseases during a time when no antibiotics existed. In total something like 600,000 deaths occurred from all causes, over 2% of the U.S. population at the time!

Let's skip to the primary half the 20th century for a few additional perspective and to bring us up to more times . After the war there have been steady improvements in American medicine in both the understanding and treatment of certain diseases, new surgical techniques and in physician education and training. except for the foremost part the simplest that doctors could offer their patients was a "wait and see" approach. Medicine could handle bone fractures and increasingly attempt risky surgeries (now largely performed in sterile surgical environments) but medicines weren't yet available to handle serious illnesses. the bulk of deaths remained the results of untreatable conditions like tuberculosis, pneumonia, scarlatina and measles and/or related complications. Doctors were increasingly conscious of heart and vascular conditions, and cancer but that they had almost nothing with which to treat these conditions.

This very basic review of yank medical record helps us to know that until quite recently (around the 1950's) we had virtually no technologies with which to treat serious or maybe minor ailments. Here may be a juncture we'd like to understand; "nothing to treat you with means visits to the doctor if in the least were relegated to emergencies so in such a scenario costs are curtailed. the straightforward fact is that there was little for doctors to supply and thus virtually nothing to drive health care spending. A second factor holding down costs was that medical treatments that were provided were purchased out-of-pocket, meaning by way of an individuals personal resources. There was no such thing as insurance and positively not insurance paid by an employer. apart from the very destitute who were lucky to seek out their way into a charity hospital, health care costs were the responsibility of the individual.

What does health care insurance need to do with health care costs? Its impact on health care costs has been, and remains to the present day, absolutely enormous. When insurance for people and families emerged as a way for companies to flee wage freezes and to draw in and retain employees after war II, almost overnight an excellent pool of cash became available to buy health care. Money, as a results of the supply of billions of dollars from insurance pools, encouraged an innovative America to extend medical research efforts. More Americans became insured not only through private, employer sponsored insurance but through increased government funding that created Medicare and Medicaid (1965). additionally funding became available for expanded veterans health care benefits. Finding a cure for nearly anything has consequently become very lucrative. this is often also the first reason for the vast array of treatments we've available today.

I don't wish to convey that medical innovations are a nasty thing. consider the tens of many lives that are saved, extended, enhanced and made more productive as a result. But with a funding source grown to its current magnitude (hundreds of billions of dollars annually) upward pressure on health care costs are inevitable. Doctor's offer and most folks demand and obtain access to the newest available health care technology within the sort of pharmaceuticals, medical devices, diagnostic tools and surgical procedures. therefore the result's that there's more health care to spend our money on and until very recently most folks were insured and therefore the costs were largely covered by a third-party (government, employers). Add an insatiable and unrealistic public demand for access and treatment and that we have the "perfect storm" for higher and better health care costs. And by and enormous the storm is merely intensifying.

At now , let's address the key questions which will lead us into a review and hopefully a far better understanding of the health care reform proposals within the news today. is that the current trajectory of U.S. health care spending sustainable? Can America maintain its world competitiveness when 16%, heading for 20% of our gross national product is being spent on health care? What are the opposite industrialized countries spending on health care and is it even on the brink of these numbers? once we add politics and an election year to the talk , information to assist us answer these questions become critical. we'd like to spend some effort in understanding health care and checking out how we expect about it. Properly armed we will more intelligently determine whether certain health care proposals might solve or worsen a number of these problems. What are often done about the challenges? How can we as individuals contribute to the solutions?

The Obama health care plan is complex needless to say - I even have never seen a health care plan that may not . But through a spread of programs his plan attempts to affect a) increasing the amount of yank that are covered by adequate insurance (almost 50 million are not), and b) managing costs in such a fashion that quality and our access to health care isn't adversely affected. Republicans seek to realize these same basic and broad goals, but their approach is proposed as being more market driven than government driven. Let's check out what the Obama plan does to accomplish the 2 objectives above. Remember, by the way, that his plan was gone by congress, and begins to significantly kick-in starting in 2014. So this is often the direction we are currently taking as we plan to reform health care.

Through insurance exchanges and an expansion of Medicaid,the Obama plan dramatically expands the amount of usa citizens which will be covered by insurance .

To cover the value of this expansion the plan requires everyone to possess insurance with a penalty to be paid if we do not comply. it'll purportedly send money to the states to hide those individuals added to state-based Medicaid programs.

To cover the added costs there have been variety of latest taxes introduced, one being a 2.5% tax on new medical technologies and another increases taxes on interest and dividend income for wealthier Americans.

The Obama plan also uses concepts like evidence-based medicine, accountable care organizations, comparative effectiveness research and reduced reimbursement to health care providers (doctors and hospitals) to regulate costs. The insurance mandate covered by points 1 and a couple of above may be a worthy goal and most industrialized countries outside of the U.S. provide "free" (paid for by rather high individual and company taxes) health care to most if not all of their citizens. it's important to notice , however, that there are variety of restrictions that many Americans would be culturally unprepared. Here is that the primary controversial aspect of the Obama plan, the insurance mandate. The U.S. Supreme Court recently decided to listen to arguments on the constitutionality of the insurance mandate as a results of a petition by 26 states attorney's general that congress exceeded its authority under the commerce clause of the U.S. constitution by passing this element of the plan. the matter is that if the Supreme Court should rule against the mandate, it's generally believed that the Obama plan as we all know it's doomed. this is often because its major goal of providing insurance to all or any would be severely limited if not terminated altogether by such a choice .

As you'd guess, the taxes covered by point 3 above are rather unpopular with those entities and individuals that need to pay them. Medical device companies, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, doctors and insurance companies all had to "give up" something that might either create new revenue or would scale back costs within their spheres of control. As an example, Stryker Corporation, an outsized medical device company, recently announced a minimum of a 1,000 employee reduction partially to hide these new fees. this is often being experienced by other medical device companies and pharmaceutical companies also . The reduction in good paying jobs within the se sectors and in the hospital sector may rise as former cost structures will need to be addressed so as to accommodate the reduced rate of reimbursement to hospitals. Over subsequent ten years some estimates put the value reductions to hospitals and physicians at half a trillion dollars and this may flow on to and affect the businesses that provide hospitals and doctors with the newest medical technologies. None of this is often to mention that efficiencies won't be realized by these changes or that other jobs will successively be created but this may represent painful change for a short time . It helps us to know that health care reform does have an impact both positive and negative.

[starswallowingsea]

Growing Up

Fandom: One Piece 

Word Count: 3797 

This easily marks the longest fic I’ve written and I really enjoyed it. The premise is an alternate AU where Nami, Nojiko, and Law all grew up together as adopted siblings at Cocoyashi, ending with a reunion of Law and Nami at Punk Hazard. I do hope to create at least two more works to go along with it, which hopefully you can figure out what I want to write once you get to that spot in the work. This can also be found on my AO3 under the same name! Enjoy! 

Major Character Death CW

Bellemere was walking through the remnants of the village that had burned down during the battle, where ashes covered the ground and polluted the air. Here she had found two children a few days ago, separated from their parents who were probably dead anyway. She was looking for any human remains that might need to be identified and interred properly, and maybe she’d find the kids’ parents to give them some sort of a proper funeral.  

She didn’t expect to find anyone alive out there. 

There was a tall, blond man staggering through the ashes with a child in tow, not much older than five. The man didn’t look like he was in good shape, stumbling over everything around him, but as it was a village in shambles Bellemere didn’t think much of it. Most of the civilians were injured as it was. She ran over to try and help them get to the field hospital set up for survivors. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

The man fiddled with his hands, sign language she assumed, as the child translated for her. 

“We were running away from someone and had to stop here to get more food and water. We don’t know what happened to the city here but Corasan needs help!” he said, voice cracking as he finished. 

Bellemere lifted the child onto her back despite the pain screaming at her to keep him on the ground, and took the man, Corasan as the child had called him, and put his arm around her and the child to help balance him until they got to the hospital. 

“What are your names?” She asked through gritted teeth. The hospital would need to know anyway and she didn’t know how long they would be able to stay awake. 

“I’m Law, and that’s Corasan.” The child said, and the man nodded in agreement. 

“Okay. I’ll make sure you don’t get separated at the hospital. My name is Bellemere and I promise you’ll be okay.” 

But she couldn’t. There was no way she could predict the future and she knew that if something happened and made her words empty, she could never live with herself for lying to a child. Not when she had just saved two children a few days earlier who knew better than to believe that. 

The three of them made it to the tents set up at the edge of the rubble and Bellemere made sure that they would stay together through recovery help before she was ushered off to see another doctor who would scold her for overexerting herself after almost dying just a few days before. 

Bellemere didn’t expect to see them again. The doctors insisted that she remain in the hospital under supervision so she wouldn’t accidentally kill herself by trying to help others. The two girls that she had found were near her make-shift bed and she talked with an official to let her take them back to her own island of Cocoyashi. They already knew her, she said. They would trust her more than a stranger. 

So she took the little girls back to her island. While they were boarding her ship, someone bumped into her and she stumbled forward, almost dropping the orange-haired baby into the water. 

“What the hell was that?” She exclaimed, turning around to slap whoever had run into her. 

Unfortunately for the man behind her, Bellemere’s hand reacted quicker than her brain, and she slapped his face, causing him to stumble backwards. 

“Hey watch it!” Shouted a tiny voice from next to her. Bellemere’s eyes went wide as she realized who it was. 

“What are you two doing here?” She asked, looking down at the boy, getting a better look at him now. He had tan skin covered in pale blotches and looked almost sickly but fighting. His clothes were ragged and his hat looked like it should be white fur with brown spots, but it had been soiled on his journey, she assumed.  

“They asked us if we had anywhere to go and Corasan said we should go with you to wherever you’re going.” 

Bellemere stared at the child, processing what he had just said. She thought that she had seen the last of them after helping them to the tents set up in the field. 

She finally started nodding, saying “Okay, okay. I just want to know one thing, who, or what, are you two running from?” 

Law turned to look at Corasan, signing back and forth for a few seconds before turning back to her and saying “It’s a long story, we can tell you on the way. Where are you going anyway?” 

“I’m going home.” 

---

It took about a week for their ship to pull into port at Cocoyashi, and by that time Bellemere had learned of the threat following Law and Corazon, which she had finally realized was his name. Corasan was just how six-year-old Law pronounced it. 

The pair had hoped that by leaving North Blue they would have time to figure out what to do about the man that was chasing them. A small island in East Blue was the perfect hiding spot they said. 

During the journey, Bellemere also realized that the two girls she had saved from Oykot didn’t have anywhere to go, and she didn’t want to put them up for adoption. She didn’t want them to be separated from each other. 

However, the day before they docked it began storming, and bad. Nojiko and Nami had fallen ill and she needed to get them treated by the doctor in her village. 

As soon as she could, Bellemere sprinted through the pouring rain, using only her officer’s jacket as protection for the girls, and made her way into the village. 

Law and Corazon couldn’t keep up and waited on the ship for the weather to clear up. 

--- 

“I’m adopting them.” 

“Aren’t you too young to be a mother? And reckless too if I may add.” 

“I think I can be a good mom to these girls. I don’t want them to feel alone in the world.” 

“But the orphanage would take much better care of them, don’t you think?” 

“My mind’s made up. I want to adopt them as my own daughters and you won’t change my mind.” 

--- 

Bellemere had invited Corazon and Law to live with her and her daughters. 

Daughters, she thought. Mom would never believe that I have two girls of my own now. 

Corazon and Law signed for a minute before Law said they accepted. 

--- 

The house wasn’t big, but it felt like a home. They had to make another mattress and money was tight, but it was home. 

--- 

It went like that for a few years. Law had been about six years old when he had moved in, and now he was about 12. Nojiko was eight and loved to chase her older brother around the house while Nami, now six, threw overripe tangerines at them.

Just kids being kids. 

This was one of the few moments where Bellemere felt content with herself, watching the children she had worked so hard to raise run and play with each other without a care in the world. It had been hard trying to raise three kids with a clumsy deaf man. Although communicating with Corazon had become easier over the years, there were still a lot of miscommunication between them. 

Are you hungry? Bellemere had meant to ask one day. 

Corazon looked shocked as Bellemere asked if he was horny. 

Why are you asking in front of the children? 

What do you mean? 

Corazon signed horny again, then tried his best to mime what it meant to her. 

Bellemere went red realizing her mistake, both in embarrassment and at the implications it had about their relationship.

HORNY! Damn, guess I should watch my language huh. 

--- 

The week after that Law told Bellemere that he and Corasan had to leave. The man chasing them was sure to find them soon. It had been too long since they had seen anything from him and they didn’t want to risk dragging everyone else into it. 

He said to tell Nami and Nojiko that they were dead. 

--- 

After they had left that night, Bellemere broke the news to her daughters. She told them that Law had gone swimming with Corazon and a rip current had taken him too far out to sea. Corazon went out to try and bring him back, but he also got carried away. They both drowned. 

The whole village held a simple funeral service for them, using makeshift gravestones placed atop a cliff overlooking the sea, Law and Corazon’s favorite place to relax. 

--- 

It never felt the same in the house after that. Nami and Nojiko felt the emptiness in their home now, missing the two presences that they had grown up around. It took months for a feeling of normalcy to come back. 

Nojiko would chase a stray dog around the tangerine bushes while Nami tossed tangerine peels at her and ate the fruit. 

--- 

Four years later, Nami now 10 and Nojiko 12, there was a group of pirates that invaded the island. Nami had yelled at Bellemere over getting hand me downs from Nojiko, said that she didn’t think Nojiko was her real sister because they weren’t related by blood, even though she had never had an issue saying that before.  

She regretted saying that now. 

She had seen the pirates terrorizing the town around her, and she saw the smoke from Bellemere’s tangerine fields, where their house was, and she knew that they didn’t have the money the pirate captain was asking for to keep all three of them alive. 

Nami ran back to the house, screaming for her mom with Nojiko right behind her. They had to make it, they had to. She couldn’t lose her mom too. 

Nojiko pulled Nami behind one of the tangerine bushes as they watched Bellemere hold a gun to the captain’s mouth. 

And in the blink of an eye, the scene was reversed. Bellemere was standing with a gun aimed at her head. 

Time seemed to slow down as Nami watched the fish-like man pull the trigger. Bellemere fell to the ground with a thud as Nami and Nojiko ran out to try and save her. 

I’m sorry.

I love you. 

--- 

Although Law had gone through a lot to get rid of his disease, something he had barely thought of while he was on Cocoyashi, there was only so much he could do to keep the symptoms at bay. 

When he and Corazon left, he had guessed he had maybe a year left to live. If he was lucky. If he wasn’t he could be dead in a matter of days. 

He thought back to Nami and Nojiko, who he had considered sisters now, and he missed them greatly. He wondered what they thought of him now that he was “dead”. 

Dead. 

He didn’t want to think about it. Law would rather have them be angry at him for lying than to actually die and have them unaware of his real death. Dying at sea was the last way he wanted to go. 

He put his head in his hands and let out a sob. Then another, and another. And another. He cried until he felt like he couldn’t anymore.

---

Corazon had finally found the fruit that he had been researching for years. The Ope-Ope fruit would allow Law to remove the harmful Amber Lead from his body and keep it from shutting his organs down. He just had to pray that his brother didn’t find it first. 

--- 

Corazon barely made it back to the makeshift raft where Law was waiting. He had managed to get the fruit but at a huge cost to himself. He knew he probably wouldn’t make it another week with the wounds he had, unless Law learned quickly enough to get a grip on the powers he would get from the fruit. 

He just had to hope. 

Law woke up from his nap, one of the ways he tried to save energy now that his body was slowly shutting down, and hugged Corazon’s legs. He knew that it was only a matter of time before his body killed him if they didn’t find this fruit. 

Corazon bent down and held the fruit out for Law to take, which he did. He took a few bites, forcing the bitter fruit down his throat. 

When it was finished, he felt a difference in his body, but he couldn’t figure out how to control it. 

--- 

Corazon collapsed in front of him and asked Law to deliver a letter to a marine on the island. Tell them the mission was done and he wasn’t going to make it much longer. 

There was a second letter, addressed to Cocoyashi village.  

---

That same day, the man Law delivered the first letter to came to their raft. Corasan hid Law in a chest and used the last of his strength to hide the boy. 

The last thing Law saw of his father was a smile, and the last thing he heard was a gunshot. 

--- 

It would be eight years before Law and Nami would see each other again. Law was 24 now and Nami was 18. 

Nami had always kept Law at the back of her mind, wary of the sea that she believed had stolen his life away too early. Law thought of Nami and Nojiko often too, wondering how they would react to him still being alive. He kept a copy of Nami’s wanted poster in his personal room on his ship. He knew they would run into each other at some point, and he wanted it to be soon but also never. 

--- 

The Thousand Sunny pulled into port at the Sabaody Archipelago after a long year of travelling the Grand Line. They were almost halfway done with their journey now. They just had to get their ship coated with the tree resin and restock on provisions. 

Nami divided up the beli that they had earned amongst the crew. Sanji got more than the others to buy food, and someone had to make sure Luffy and Franky wouldn’t buy something absolutely idiotic like the last time, where they had gotten scammed out of thier beli for a piece of paper with their names on it. 

Nami walked around the archipelago, looking for anything that would catch her eye: clothes, jewelry, food, cartography supplies. And she saw something white with black spots float above the crowd. 

Could that be…. No. He died years ago, right?

--- 

Law was walking around the archipelago, looking for Nami. He knew she was here, he had seen her crew’s ship pull into port, and it was hard to miss the Thousand Sunny. He was looking for her bright orange hair, hoping she still smelled like the tangerines he had grown up around all those years ago. 

--- 

Nami saw the white and black spotted hat a few times before she decided to track it down. There was no way it could all be a coincidence. She hadn’t seen that hat in over ten years, but she would recognize it anywhere. 

--- 

Law caught a fleeting glance of Nami before she turned around and got lost in the crowd again. 

Dammit, he sighed. I might not get another chance if I miss it now. 

He followed where he thought she was going, watching her go from shop to shop, until she turned around and her eyes met his. 

--- 

Nami’s eyes locked onto Law’s, and she knew it was him. She pushed her way through the crowd, not caring who was in her way. 

--- 

Law stood still as he watched Nami run up to him through the crowd. 

---

“I thought you died!” 

“I….” 

Nami slapped him across the face before pulling him into a hug. 

“We missed you, a lot.” 

Law stood in shock for a second before wrapping his arms around Nami. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Bellemere is dead.” 

“Corasan died.” 

They said it at the same time, pulling away from each other, watching tears form in their eyes before pulling back into an embrace they hadn’t felt in over 10 years. 

“I can’t believe you’re still alive.” 

“I’m sorry for lying to you. We didn’t have any other choice.” 

“I know, but it still hurt to think you were dead for over ten years, and then losing Bellemere too….” 

They stood in silence for a minute. Then two, three, four minutes. It wasn’t until they were forcibly ripped apart that they let go. Law’s crew dragged him away to go do something else, and Sanji had appeared out of nowhere to pull Nami away into his own antics. 

But they didn’t mind. Knowing each other was alive was all they needed.  

---

After Luffy had announced his change of plans for the crew, Nami, who had ended up on a sky island, couldn’t stop thinking of Law. 

She wanted so desperately to catch up with him on the last 10 years of their lives, to know what adventures he had gone on, what powers his devil fruit gave him, what happened to Corazon. 

The first few days afterwards were the hardest. Nami sat with her head in her hands for hours, crying and thinking about Law and Nojiko and Bellemere and Corazon and what could have been and what would happen now and and and. 

And what? She couldn’t get stuck in the past and she had to move forward. Maybe writing a letter or two that could get delivered to Nojiko and Cocoyashi would help her move on. 

--- 

Law flipped through the newspaper, thinking about Nami and how nice it was to see her again. She still smelled like tangerines and he loved how she had grown so much and wished that they could have been together for it. Maybe everything would be different if he hadn’t left Cocoyashi or if he didn’t have Bellemere lie that they were dead or if he had left a letter or something for Nami and Nojiko to find or or or. 

He too, was stuck in the past and needed to do something about it. Law put the newspaper down and grabbed some paper and a pen and started to write. 

--- 

Two years. 

Two whole years. 

That’s how long it was before they saw each other again. Law had moved to Punk Hazard during that time, after becoming a warlord and beginning a very long and tedious plan to take down not only Doflamingo, but also Kaido. 

He never forgot about Nami in those two years and he still didn’t know how much he wanted to let her back into his life. Would she still accept him after knowing his whole story? Did he even know hers? He left when she was still young, there’s no way he could know everything that had happened to her in the last 15 years. 

And then Ceaser talked about seeing her crew’s ship on the other side of the island and he knew that he had to make a decision soon. 

--- 

After Nami woke up from the gas attack, she had no idea where she was. The others were laying on the floor around her, except for Brook? She could figure that out later but she needed to find a way out and soon. There was no telling what could happen to them if they stayed. 

Nami started waking the others up and as soon as they were all awake, Franky blasted a hole through the door allowing them to escape. 

Five minutes later they ran into what looked like a daycare center full of giant children, regular sized children, and every size in between. What the hell was going on here. 

--- 

There was a commotion going on outside, the navy had arrived and wanted to ask some questions. Law knew that he had to lie to keep them from investigating any further. He didn’t really know what Caesar was doing but if he wanted to keep working on the island, the navy couldn’t find out about the experiments Caesar was conducting. Those were hidden even from Law. 

He had fought navy admirals and vice admirals before and survived, so he wasn’t too worried about that. His powers would distract most of the other soldiers and keep them from fighting at their best. 

While he was fighting after an interrogation gone wrong, there was a sudden loud noise behind him followed by shouts encouraging an escape. 

Her long, orange hair drew his attention for a brief second, wondering what she was doing here before he returned to the fight. 

Nami paused for a moment, taking in the scene around her.

“We need to talk later, Law!” She called out to him as she and the children ran back inside. 

“Shambles.” He said, switching all of her crew into different bodies, ensuring that they would have to speak later. 

--- 

Nami felt like she was a ghost for a second while they were running back into the lab, before she came back to her senses. But her body didn’t quite feel right, it was much bigger than she remembered and…. Metal?? 

“Fuck you, Law.” She whispered under her breath. 

---

A day passed before she saw him again and while she was no longer in Franky’s body, she still wasn’t in her own and that was an issue. Sanji’s body was better than Franky’s she supposed. 

“We need to talk.” 

“I know. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other.” 

“I spent 12 years thinking you were dead and you show up one day and you suddenly aren’t? You better have a good explanation for that.” 

“I do,” He said, taking a deep breath before filling Nami in on the last decade of his life. 

---

Nami couldn’t stop her tears and Law looked like he was close to letting them fall too. 

“I would say it’s okay but it isn’t and you don’t need to hear that right now.” 

Law pulled Nami into a hug, much like the one they shared at the Sabaody Archipelago two years ago. 

“Bellemere died... while protecting me and Nojiko. We watched her get shot and….” She let the tears fall freely, sobbing into Law’s chest as he tried his best to comfort her. He’d never been good at that even when they were kids but it felt good to have someone to hold on to, even if it was while they were both crying and trying to talk but unable to form the right words. 

And it was nice. 

They stayed like that for a long time, rocking back and forth, not really talking. Just taking in each other’s presence. 

“Thank you, for not being dead.” 

[griffinsandpeacocks]

Loony Two Writing Challenge Week 4 Prompt 1: Birds and Erm... Birds?

Griffin paced around nervously as he had told his parents he couldn’t marry a princess that was interested in him. When they ask he explains he’d tried through tears to be the prince they needed he just couldn’t. His mother had calmed him down asked him to explain and he admit softly that the princess had made heavy advances but he hadn’t responded at all nothing had happened and he’d been terrified he’d be killed, banished, disowned or anything else because he just had no interest in her. 

“There is a King I was wanting to make an alliance with... You can help me with that.” His father calms him and he nods a bit numb as all he’s heard since were crude rumors about him and nasty comments from other nobility that have heard. His life was miserable. Guards made snide remarks! He didn’t have a single friend within the Kingdom at this point. The only good thing he had going for him  was the fact he wasn’t dead and his parents didn’t seem disgusted with his existence. Though the near death experience a couple days later makes him wonder if exile would have been safer. 

He’d left his room to meet with his father when a man had run at him with a knife he’d fallen on his ass but managed to wrestle the knife away and hold it to the culprit's neck until the guards finally decided to come and help after he’d called for them several times. He’d gone straight to his father and had been unsettled since. They’d discussed going to the other’s city and Griffin relaxed realizing that would allow him to get away from all the harsh words and crude comments aimed at him. Hopefully once he comes back the gossip would have been stirred up by something new. 

The travel is grueling several hours he is only happy he’s good at protecting himself as when bandits attack it’s everyone for themselves. Griffin can’t rely on other’s to have his back like his father can. He get’s a sword in his side before his father takes charge furious the guards had left Griffin open to attack without support. Griffin just pants as a cold sweat starts up and he is grateful his father drags him onto horse back hearing they’d make as quick a run for the city as possible. He faints. When he comes to a nurse is dabbing cool water over his brow. He swallows and blinks trying to see clearly. 

“Oh you’re awake! I shall fetch your father, King Marius, and King Oberon. They’ll be glad to hear you’re alright.” She says and Griffin tries to say something but she’s already gone and Griffin just looks around feeling drained. He sees he’s in a very nice room and sighs closing his eyes to take a deep breath.His side throbs and he groans in pain as the door opens he opens his eyes the attack making him paranoid. There’s an albino man next to his father wearing a silver crown sporting diamonds and star patterns. This must be the king they’d come to negotiate with. He tries to push himself up but the pale King stops him a hand on his shoulder keeping him down.

“Don’t stand on my account. You’re wounded enough as is.” He says and Griffin blushed as he stopped trying and laid still. He’s certain nothing can get worse. Making a terrible impression, getting stabbed because the guards despised him, having his life threatened at every turn and now he can’t even properly stand and thank the king whose staff had saved him. How could this get worse?

“Griffin, King Oberon agreed with the treaty on a single condition.” His father says and Griffin looks at his father uncertain. Typically a marriage was requested to lock in an alliance but Griffin had looked through all the information he could on the Runes Kingdom and it’s ruling King and had found nothing about the Mage King having any daughters. Not that he’d be useful in that regard as soon as it was discovered he couldn’t preform the woman he was married to would probably demand her father kill him for lying. 

“And... What might that... Be?” Griffin asks feeling incredibly insecure as he can’t hide how uncertain and uneasy he is. Oberon snickers watching him and his father sighs and looks uncomfortable. 

“Once you’re fully recovered he asks you duel him.” Griffin felt his brain break. He was wanting to ask a multitude of questions but he couldn’t quite get his head around the fact a mage wanted to fight him. 

“You... Want to duel me? Not my father?” Griffin asks confused and Oberon laughs and Griffin blushed both because he suddenly felt stupid and because it was a nice sound to hear. Also slightly mortified as he had a sudden urge to make the man laugh more often. 

“You’re father’s married, there would be little point.” King Oberon says and Griffin blinks and looks at his father the gears creaking as they begin to turn. 

“I would like an explanation.”  Griffin asks his father who blushed rubbing the back of his neck looking at Oberon then Griffin. He doesn’t like the way his kingdom had responded to the gossip about Griffin especially the number of near assassinations on Griffin. 

“You’ll be safer here... I know you’ve practiced heavily to be able to fight along side me in the case of a war... I just... I want you safe and in this case you’d be in the place of a princess and become the standing Queen of the Runes Kingdom.” King Marius explains and Griffin swallows thickly looking at the wall. So his father had seen how the staff had responded. His father cared enough to drag him to another kingdom to get rid of him which he supposed was a blessing. He looks at the Mage King and wonders if he could stand a chance.

“So the duel’s to make sure I can at least protect myself and be somewhat useful.” He guesses and his father frowns going to say something but Oberon nods.

“You’ve made it this far so I’m sure you are somewhat capable but I would appreciate having a partner that can actively defend themselves should the need arise.” He explains and Griffin nods. There’s little in the way of options. He either impresses the other enough he agrees to take him off his father’s hands or he fails and ends up as useless baggage on his father’s name. 

“Then I suppose I look forward to the chance to duel you. Can you do me a favor if I fail just kill me.” Griffin says and thunks his head back looking up at the ceiling. His father sighs and it sounds like he tries to say something but whatever it is he must not know how he wants to word it and instead he squeezes Griffin’s shoulder and walks out. Griffin closes his eyes tears glittering in his lashes as he clenches his hands fighting not to cry.

“Why would you want to die if you don’t prove to be up to my standard?” Oberon asks and Griffin flinched hissing as his side aches at the sudden reflexive jerk. He looks at the mage who is sitting in a chair by the bed watching him with sharp red eyes that seem to be cutting into him and dissecting him.

“I’m the only Prince my family has. Instead of getting a competent future King they have a son that can’t respond in any way other than flustered blubbering to  escape the advances of a woman. I can tell you anything you want to know about my Kingdom’s history, even the bits that I’m certain were very different but victor writes history and all that. I can give decent battle strategy but I prefer the reserved approach. My father’s council has never liked me and they have constantly told me I’ll make a poor king. So if I can’t be useful this once then I don’t want to go back. I’ll get assassinated anyway, so at least this way I’ll go down fighting rather than a lucky stab or poison or something equally sad.” Griffin says ranting and needing to get this all out of his head and confide in someone. Oberon listens and sighs shaking his head.

“A king has no need for men that throw caution to the wind. A king is  not made great because councilors nor their opinions. You sound dedicated to learning which has never been an ill mark for a king.” Oberon says and Griffin sighs and looks to the wall feeling awkward.

“Yet I’ll never be a King. I’m marrying one if I can prove I’m worth it.” He says and Oberon snorts and leans closer grabbing Griffin’s chin and forcing him to meet his eyes.

“I want an equal not a concubine.” Oberon states firmly and Griffin goes bright red startled by how forward the mage King is. 

“Subtlety isn’t something you exercise is it?” Griffin squeaks and Oberon chuckles.

“I’m afraid not, so you’ll be a nice breath of fresh air to my court if you can hold me off in a fight.” Oberon says grinning. Griffin sighs again and looks up at the crown. 

“I was always curious why your Kingdom has such strong symbolism around stars.” Griffin says and Oberon leans back in his chair shrugging.

“For us the stars are what we attribute to the source of our abilities. We mages hold the heavens sacred and what is more beautiful than a night sky lit with diamond like stars?” He says and Griffin looks at Oberon.

“Then you’re Kingdom must think you as beautiful.” Griffin says as the King was gorgeous and pure pale splendor much like the stars. Oberon blinks at him blushing now as well he coughs and stands walking away. Griffin grins slightly at the very shy response to the compliment. He sighs as the door closes. He grins faintly thinking that maybe just maybe his life wasn’t getting worse. 

Once he’s on his feet and can manage moving without wincing he’s given a tour of the castle and Oberon watches him like a hawk as his father explains several customs Griffin will need to see to before and during the start of the duel.

“The wakestone might actually awaken a power in you. You’ll need to touch it before the duel as an acknowledgment to magic’s guidance.” His father explains and Oberon nods and Griffin frowns in confusion.

“Wouldn’t we have to have magic in our linage in order for a wake stone to have that affect?” Griffin asks and his father glances over.

“We’ve had several mages marry into our family none within the last couple of generations though.” He explains and Griffin nods deciding this might be where all his strange quirks come from. He is grateful he gets one last day he’s gotten mixed reviews. Those from the mage kingdom all gave him high praise for being bold enough to duel Oberon while those from his home made snide remarks on his uselessness and how his father was at least getting rid of him in style though he didn’t deserve to draw his sword for it. Griffin just dealt with it surprised how often the mages would compliment him and wish him well. There were several offers for his hand if he was not taken on by the King. He wasn’t sure how to handle any of it. 

“Prince Griffin place your hand on the wakestone with King Oberon.” A woman wearing robes says and Griffin had learned she was the Priestess that took care of the magical artifacts of the Kingdom. Griffin does and frowns as he feels an odd tingle run up his arm and he gasps as he feels like he gets a kick to the chest jerking back and swaying a moment feeling dizzy and like he might be sick. Oberon grabs his shoulder and holds him up.

“Just breathe, close your eyes and breathe.” Oberon instructs and Griffin takes a few deep breaths swallowing as the dizzy sick phase passes and he takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and Oberon takes a sharp breath in when their eyes meet. Griffin feels confused until his father also blinks in shock and looks at Oberon.

“That was supposed to happen?” He asks and Oberon coughs and looks at him.

“Well apparently... It’s nothing bad it just means he is powerful really. To have golden eyes is regarded as a mark of someone destined for great things.” Oberon says and Griffin paused his eyes had been a yellow brown that looked like gold in the right light but they weren’t gold. The Priestess with wide eyes holds up a small mirror for him and he blinks in shock his eyes are bright shocking yellow gold. 

“I’ll call this duel off, I’d be honored if you’d agree to be my fellow King.” Oberon says looking at Griffin with awe. Griffin reluctantly nods not sure what’s going on he knows that his father making this alliance would be the only thing he could do for his home. He’d take it. 

“I’d be honored...” Griffin says confused still and feeling a bit unsteady he yelps as Oberon sweeps him off his feet grinning down with a mischievous look. 

“Then it’s settled, you’re mine.” Griffin goes bright red sputtering as he tries to catch up only to feel lips on his and blink in shock.

“Shall I get the circle ready?” The Priestess asks and Oberon nods and Marius smiles happy his son will be safe now though confused how he was so magically apt. Over the next several days Griffin is pampered by mages that go about making sure he’ll look the part of a king to stand by their current ruler. He is flustered when the day comes his mother had made the trip to see him marry and he’s bright pink as he is standing opposite Oberon and the Priestess sings a chant to make the circle glow and then they meet in the center and both recite lines in the magical language Oberon grew up with that Griffin knew so little of. The chimes like millions of little bells make Griffin blink in wonder as hundreds of star like lights float around them like glowing butterflies. 

“This means Magic herself approves.” Oberon says softly and Griffin grins reaching out to poke one that glitters merrily and more start flocking to his hand. Oberon chuckles softly and pulls the once prince into a kiss.

“I’ll teach you everything that I know... I swear to you I will make this day forward the best days of your life.” Oberon swears and Griffin blushes and looks up at the ruby eyes and smiles shyly. Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened after all.

[linelpisffxiv]

5.0 Spoilers

After he watches everything, the Exarch makes haste for Kholusia. The city is free of Vauthry’s influence, at least, the most direct. The fact he is the lightwarden, keeping the island under the eternal, everlasting light, is another story.

He grabs a few bits, refurbished pieces of old Allagan machina, and makes way, hoping that the repairs to the ladder are just long enough he can join Lin on her way up.

In the end, however, he arrives when the Ladder’s elevator has reached the top for the first time in years.

“So you hath made your way here, Exarch,” Urianger says. “Despite the fact you know your limitations.”

He nods his head. “I refuse to simply stand by when I can offer my own hand in this last fight. I need to be here in the end.”

He needs to be there to die, take the powers from Lin. After everything, he knows he needs to play a part in the end. Someone who takes it from her. If she can hold herself together long enough, then he will just be a cutpurse, playing to get close enough to steal from her.

If not, well, it still would be better for her if he breaks her heart. She said she’s letting herself heal, and at most it’s been a few months since she let her husband return to the seas. She shouldn’t be ready to love again. He needs to remind her of that.

Urianger nods his head. “On that, I must agree. This fight can use all the help it can get. Vauthry hath made the peak of the Mount climb into the air. I cannot say we have a plan to avert the oncoming Calamity should we not find a way.”

“Well, tis good I planned to test one such way when I saw what happened through my mirror.” He takes one of the bits out of his bag and shows it to Urianger.

When they reach the top, he sees Alphinaud pacing. He talks to himself about everything.

“What worries you, Alphinaud?” he asks.

Alphinaud stops and stands up straight. “Ah, Exarch. Lin and Alisaie have set off to surveil the area. See if there are any remnants of the connections to the mountain we can use. I feel such a thing is fruitless, however.”

“I shall meet up with them and bring them back, then. You seem nervous about it.”

He shakes his head. “I-- I’m not-- Not a maid fretting for her sweetheart!”

“Quite specific in the imagery,” Y’shtola says.

“Tis a most accurate description as well,” Urianger adds.

He can’t help but laugh as well. “I must know where you came up with such a lovely turn of phrase, but this isn’t the time for such an action. Urianger, if you would not mind escorting me.”

So he does. he helps the Exarch with preparing the bits as they travel together. In the end, it is not the path to take. The Sin Eaters show they are more than organized enough to take on airships.

And sadly, Lin and Alisaie share the same news of luck on the ground.

However, from some idle chatter, a plan comes to be. One that sounds quite ridiculous. From what he heard of Operation Archon in his youth, along with everything that led to him getting his birthright, fanciful plans are Lin’s specialty. Some became even stranger from the tales he read.

And once again, he plays a role in it by her side.Helping her escort a young lala-- dwarf to gather much needed ore. Every word from his mouth compliments them. He tries to pass it off as her doing most of the work

One of the many SIn Eaters they must face on their job stuns her and charges for an attack that would surely--

He uses his magic to channel any force directed unto her to him. The blow is fierce, but he manages it well enough. The next words out of the young dwarf’s mouth surprises him

“You two make a good team!”

He feels his cheeks heat up, but he tries to focus on what’s to come instead. “Ah--! A’lin is a team unto herself, I simply follow her lead.”

She smiles and gives him a wink and a quick press of her hands to her lips before she turns around and returns to the fight.

He’s suspected that her own heart has moved past her husband. That her trip to Norvrandt has altered her fate. She may have had only one year left after the Battle of Ghimlyt Dark, but there were no lovers mentioned. One account from a member of the Ironworks described her as someone who buried herself as a field commander. She never spoke to anyone she hadn’t need to. Never said a word more that a situation called for. And one from the Garlean side claimed she called herself the Weapon of Light in those final days.

And so the fact she’s smiled and laughed, that she flirts with him now. Well, it will be hard for the betrayal he need make for her sake, but pleases him that she can. He only hopes she finds someone different to point such affections towards after this is done.

When everything is done, he starts to relax in the shade of the small bar in the town called Amity. It works for a while, but the powers he used before, so far from the tower, take their toll. Reprieve from the sun isn’t what he needs. He needs to return, but there is only so much he can do. Timing is important to his plan. If things go wrong, he needs to take the powers before she turns. If things are fine, he still should take them quick and not rely on luck.

It’s the very day of his death, and he still feels like it is far away.

He steps out, and for the first time in years, he sleeps. There’s no rest to it, a mix of hopes for more, reminders of what he must do. The past.

When he wakes up, he finds he speaks in his sleep, as he says the same thing he promised once before.

“The future is where my destiny awaits.”

His eyes clear, and Lin is in front of him. Her mouth is open. He wonders if she remembers.

“Forgive me, I was lost in a dream,” he says. Perhaps it will deter her from the truth. Perhaps not. Either way, it is not the time for her to know.

“The others were looking for you,” she says. “I decided I wanted to be the one to find you.”

He nods his head. “I see. Well then, it may be the last moment we have together. Sit with me.”

Lin smiles as she does so. “Whatever you say Exarch. I suppose I have some time to breathe. We have a some time before the talos is ready.”

He looks over to her. His hand is uncomfortably close to his.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

A finger slips closer to his. He pulls his hand away. Quick, a thought to distract her. “When this is over, what do you plan to do, Lin? Return to the battlefield on the first?”

She shakes her head. “Norvrandt has been enlightening for me. I feel I am in no hurry to return, especially should time slow down again. If I return, my fears of becoming the Weapon of Light again are sure to find root. I’m not ready to feel that again.”

He remembers the time he saw her soul break. How it used those words. How others called her that against the Garleans. He not only would hopefully unwrite her death, but that last year of grief.

“It would be well-deserved, should you wish to gather your breath.” He smiles as he imagines what she wishes. “You might consider roaming Norvrandt not as her savior, but as a simple sightseer. Viewed through such eyes, I am certain she would seem quite different.“

Lin moves her hand again, but he doesn’t catch it soon enough. She places hers on his, lacing her fingers with his.

“But whatever it is you decide to do, I have every confidence that you will do well. For you have the strength to forge your own path.“

“I should hope so, Exarch. While I know I can say no, sometimes things become too great, like I’ve entwined myself too deep that I would destroy others should I not live up to their expectations. It is why I love the First. I may not always want to save the world, but the people here seem different on the Source.”

She leans in. The past day has brought the scent of earth and sweat to her, but when he was young, he assumes he must have smelled much the same.

He tries to pull away some. Keep his distance. If he let himself return her feelings, then he could never betray her. He clears his throat. “You will leave countless lives better than you found them, and the souls you touch will never forget your kindness.Then, in trying times, when you question your worth and your choices, they will raise their voices to remind you of the difference you have made And thus will your deeds come to affirm your path. Remember this.”

“And you, Exarch?”

“What of me?”

“You give me such flattery, remind me any titles I have are earned, not given. Yet you have shared nothing of yourself. I want to know more about you, what you plan to do once this is over.”

He will kill himself. The Exarch will be no more. The Scions will no longer be stuck on the First. Lin will return, and push the technology forward so that the two hundred years he slept would be much shorter. Then she can love him as she needs him. Not this half crystal immortal caught up in his own grief.

Still, it is good to get lost in a dream. “Of me? You mean what I intend to do afterwards?”

A’lin nods and motions for him to continue.

“I once told you that there are things we can ill afford to lose. ‘Things,’ I said, though in truth I spoke of a person. One who is unaware of the full extent of my plans. Though she deserves to know, I have good reason to keep my counsel. I have come to terms with this in my mind, yet my heart yearns to lay everything bare. ”

She laughs. “That does not answer my question, but I think I’ve figured some of that out myse--”

He cuts her off, though not fully aware of the words she said. “For she is my inspiration, and I would give much and more for the chance to speak with her as friends, with no thought of concealment. Should she indulge me with her tales, I would regale her with my own─about my efforts in Norvrandt, perhaps.”

It’s a dream to plan things beyond the death of Vauthry, but a pleasant one.

He realizes Lin’s gotten closer. As she speaks, he can feel his hood flutter where her breath presses against it. “My tales are always yours to hear, and so I would love to hear yours.”

Her voice is like a Coeurl, primed to pounce. He feels nervous about her plans, but the hopes he has for his younger self are easy enough to share in hypotheticals. “Then, I would ask her about her next adventure. And if she should wish me to be a part of it, oh...how happy it would make me. Together, we would travel the lands and cross the seas and take to the skies upon the eternal wind. My heart swells simply to imagine--”

This time she cuts him off, but not with words, but her lips against his. Her hands don’t pull his hood off, nor do they slip inside. For such a kiss, she respects his secrets. The way her hand cups the back of his head. Her lips part for a nibble of his own.

He indulges her, but in truth he indulges himself. Lets her guide him into the way she wants him to kiss her. Mouth half open, hands on her back, getting lost in the dream.Have one unquestionably good memory to look upon in his final moments.

He pulls away once he starts to have doubts. Hopes.

“But all of this is contingent upon our victory in the coming battle. The people of this world have entrusted their hopes to us. We cannot fail them.” He smiles at her as he stands up.”Nor those who roused me from my slumber. Thank you for your company, Lin. Let us return to Amity.”

She stands up as well. “I suppose. I will just have to ask you about eternal winds later.”

Eternal winds. He has always been fond of those words together. So when she mentions it, he knows she knows. At least he hopes he won’t have to explain himself when he frees her of the burden her soul has taken.

If only he was the one who could travel with her, and not his younger self.

[jojotier]

Two Faced

“Well if it isn’t Hanazawa Yuusaku!”

Tsukishima glanced up from where he was sitting, comfortably kneeling with a pillow under his knees and several books in front of him. Most of the work that First Lieutenant Koito assigned him was understandable- just some general record-keeping business that the Second Lieutenant wasn’t going to have time to handle since he was off attempting to speak with a certain Ainu woman and her little scarf-clad friend. That had been taken care of relatively easily. Tsukishima was used to dealing with numbers.

The inexplicable part of the order was that Koito wanted Tsukishima to read out of a book about the Roman Empire’s military culture. Even more inexplicable was that the book was in Dutch- a language that Tsukishima didn’t know how to speak, let alone read.

When he’d tried to tell Koito, Koito just brushed him off, insisting that he needed to just figure it out. How he expected Tsukishima to just “figure out” an entirely different language was lost, but it wasn’t as if Tsukishima was in any position to complain. He had rejected the offer to get out of the army with a new identity, so here was where he would have to stay. Dealing with odd orders.

The noise was getting to be distracting. Despite the fact that Koito had taken his guest into the adjacent office, the walls were thin, and both were a bit louder than was decent.

“And the very prestigious First Lieutenant Koito- it’s a pleasure to be in your presence, sir. It’s been far too long.” The second voice- Hanazawa Yuusaku, most likely- said with a huff of amusement.

“Oh but the pleasure is all mine, esteemed Lieutenant General- you’ve made it so easy to work for you,” Koito said laughingly. “I hardly even feel like I need to do anything…”

“Oh but you do, or else I’d have to run you through with a spare bayonet,” How one could be so jovial when delivering a threat, Tsukishima could never know. “And it helps that you do everything- above and beyond everything, in fact! I couldn’t think of a better man to have looking after things here.”

“Surely, you didn’t come just to flatter an old friend, right?” Koito said, tone still airy.

“Of course not- I believe we’re both too old to be stuck on such empty praise, hm?”

There was a heavy moment of silence. Tsukishima could only wonder what was going on inside that room.

The sudden undercurrent of coldness seeped into Yuusaku’s voice and with it came a tense pause. No time for pleasantries, then.

When Koito spoke, it was much calmer. “You’re right, of course- so what brings you by today, my old friend?”

“You’re aware of how my father died, correct?” Yuusaku asked. Inside the adjacent office that Koito was situated in, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and holding his chin in his hand.

Yuusaku looked far different from when they had gone off in the Russo-Japanese War and was certainly far different from how he was back when the Satsuma Rebellion was being snuffed out. Of course, during that time, fighting against those old dredges of samurai who couldn’t concede that the government Koito’s father helped build had no need for them, had done nothing to dampen Yuusaku’s old… naivete. The war had done a fine job of amending that instead.

“I’m sure everyone is,” Koito said because this was an almost indisputable fact. It seemed like impossible circumstances- Hanazawa Koujirou is found dragging something- or someone, one particularly crazed eyewitness reported- into the frozen forests of Hokkaido. Several days later, they found him dead in the snow, shot through the jaw and through the head, body looted of clothes and weapons. No matter what people might have thought about Hanazawa during the war, there was no denying that he was at least a capable fighter- which made the murder all the more mysterious since it seemed as if he didn’t put up a struggle.

“And are you aware of the nature of his… work?” Yuusaku asked, a plastic smile still plastered on his face. Koito remembered a time when Yuusaku knew how to smile like a human being. Now, he couldn’t even muster the ghost of a sincere smile; not even the memory of happiness. Such a shame… such a shame, indeed.

Koito’s eye narrowed. He knew precisely what work Yuusaku was referring to- and he wasn’t exactly keen on it, to put it kindly. “Silly me- it appears as though I’ve forgotten. Surely, you can enlighten me.”

Yuusaku’s eyes hardened in the same way Koito’s had, and if Koito didn’t know better (and if he didn’t have an ounce of human dignity himself, unlike his old “friend” here) he might have mistaken Yuusaku for a mirror image. “During the war with the Russians- the Sappling Program.”

Yuusaku didn’t elaborate further. Koito didn’t need him to.

A small group of child sappers…

“Don’t tell me,” Koito said, dropping all pretense, “that you plan on giving explosives to more children?”

It had been a disgraceful thing, what Hanazawa Koujirou had done. Perhaps he’d lost it in his old age. Perhaps he was truly so paranoid about maintaining his rank. More disgraceful than the white sash brigade- he’d picked up orphaned teenagers, just barely old enough to enlist should recruiters look the other way- and made them plant the bombs. Young soldiers weren’t new to war, of course; Koito was somewhat of an academic, and he’d read a few military histories in his youth for his education- but it was always supposed to be the losing side that resorted to such endeavors. This should have been an idea coming from a desperate Russian. Not a supposed Japanese soldier.

“Nothing so cruel as that,” Yuusaku assured, a sickly sweet tone coming to his voice. It was the same voice he’d used when he bore the flag after it stopped meaning anything. After he’d led enough men into battle like hungry pigs to slaughter and be slaughtered. “My father made a mistake, taking civilian… adolescents, under his wing. They still had a chance at a future.”

“Then who do you suppose you’re talking about?”

“Well… your new recruit, for one.” Yuusaku said, tilting his head.

“The Superior Private?” Koito questioned, not trusting this for a moment. “He’s hardly a child, or an adolescent, for that matter. He’s a grown man, last I checked. You’re not quite old enough to consider him a child anyhow.”

“Not your recruit specifically,” Yuusaku said, and by the disapproving tone of voice, Koito could tell that his careful obstinance wasn’t appreciated. Good. “Those in his situation- juvenile offenders.”

“We have a justice system for a reason.” Koito’s eyebrow twitched. “Rehabilitation is already underway for them.”

“Then there’s nothing to object to- I merely offer another avenue of rehabilitation.”

“There isn’t a war going on now, Yuusaku.”

“But there will be, Otonoshin,” Yuusaku said, eyes narrowing. “There always will be. After all, Japan is an expanding nation. We need all the firepower we can get.”

Koito bit down a remark about the downfall of empires that got too big and buckled under their own weight. His own treasonous deeds were still under wraps, after all- it wouldn’t do to expose himself at this stage. It also wouldn’t do to explode in anger, no matter how close he was getting to that point. “And what do you need me for, Hanazawa?”

Yuusaku eased back, looking Koito in the eye. “I want to use your subordinate’s… unusual case, as a precedent. He’s embodied somewhat of a success story. The son of a murderer, a murderer himself, turns away from his past sins for the love of his country and fellow men… for the express desire of offering his stained self to be cleansed in the protection of Japan itself. Surely, you can see the benefits. It’d boost morale… it’d save lives,” But all those noble goods that Yuusaku was espousing rung hollow, falling from his mouth.

“It’d give you more men to kill.” Koito meant that in all the ways it could mean.

“More men to martyr,” Yuusaku said as if that made it any better.

“And why do you need my help in particular, then?” Koito asked coldly.

“Koito… Tono,” Yuusaku said, face softening to an approximation of friendly fondness at the use of Koito’s old nickname. Koito’s hand clenched into a tight fist. “I’m asking you because I rely on you. Because… you’re a very dear friend, to me. You were there during orientation, during the war… have I not been there for you as well? When Takamori was a threat? When Heiji died?”

Hearing his father’s name from this lowlife made a snap of anger flare up in Koito. Once, Koito used to give into fits of passion as easily and naturally as a jealous lover. He tempered himself, with time, but that didn’t mean his ill-temper had subsided. He mutely nodded.

“We’ve known each other for ages, Tono.” Yuusaku continued, eyes shining despite an emptiness in them. It was hard to look sweet with facial hair, but the man pulled it off well. “You know better than anyone that I want what’s right- for you, and for everyone. Think of what everyone will say, when we turn those boys- murderers, thieves, scum of the earth- into men of honor, ready to lay down their lives for our innocent civilians here. Ready to protect women and children- ready to protect our future! They’ll adore you, more than they do even now. You’ll be more prestigious than ever before.”

“And?” Koito probed.

“And… I ask you as a friend. Please, help me. Help me do what’s best for all of us.”

Yuusaku said it as sweetly as he comforted Koito the day Koito had stayed with him, still shaky from the fires of Hakodate. Both were scarcely five and had no real understanding of the corpses their houses were built on. Of the prestige born of dead men’s hands.

That was then. They both knew better, now- and they should have acted like it.

“As your friend, I must say- no.” Koito said, “Never. You get men who are willing or none at all- men who are free and, hopefully, sound of mind. You don’t need to sink so low as to use juveniles, no matter how delinquent they may be.”

Yuusaku’s face hardened. Gone was the ghost of sweet, saintly ignorance that defined his youth. That Yuusaku, the virgin flagbearer who believed superstitions about noodle houses and wandering hands, had died in the war. The only thing Koito saw now was a Hanazawa.

“As your superior then, I’ll say this- you have no choice,” Yuusaku told him, tone flat and apathetic. “You never did, First Lieutenant.”

Koito watched him stand, no longer even putting up the act that he was paying attention. “Is that the case?” Koito asked, reaching towards his belt.

“Yes- it was my hope that you would at least be reasonable.” Yuusaku deadpanned, eyes closing as if in exasperation. “But it seems I was wrong about you. You never did grow out of that stubbornness- and now, we have to leave everything like this.”

“We don’t have to.” Koito slowly slid his revolver from his holster. “In fact, I’d say you’re being the unreasonable one.”

Yuusaku sneered, “I hardly think a superior officer giving you an order is unreasonable.”

“Well, I have to disagree. In fact, I’d say I always had a choice.” Koito said, and then shot Yuusaku.

Not anywhere fatal, of course- Koito was angry, not stupid. If he actually killed his superior officer (especially so soon after Hanazawa Koujirou’s mysterious demise) he’d be in for a world of trouble. That’d be two Seventh Division leaders down within a month. He’d have to lay low for years before resuming his activities, if people didn’t already immediately suspect him in the murder, since Hanazawa was last seen going to the First Lieutenant Koito’s section of the 7th. No, Koito shot Yuusaku in his dominant arm, aiming just to hit bone.

Yuusaku hissed, quickly dodging out of the way (a tad too late there, hm?) as he gripped his arm. He kicked Koito’s damn desk over in an attempt to trip him up, but Koito was faster. He always had been, and unlike Yuusaku, who led the fray without directly fighting, Koito wasn’t afraid to get his hands a little dirty. The gun was carelessly tossed carefully to the side, out of Yuusaku’s reach, but right where Yuusaku could see it. Always a good idea to set up a trap and a distraction, all in one.

In the meantime, Yuusaku went to draw his weapon, nondominant hand shaky. Unfortunately for him, Koito had also always been faster with his saber; even more unfortunately, Yuusaku also hesitated for just a moment, likely trying to puzzle out why Koito had thrown the gun. Before Yuusaku could click the safety off, the tip of Koito’s sword was against his throat.

“My deepest apologies- I can’t see as well as I used to.” What with his left eye being useless as shit, even when not hidden under his mask. Tipping Yuusaku’s chin up with the tip of his saber, Koito said, “Next time we have a friendly disagreement, I won’t bother with bullets.”

“This is no disagreement,” Yuusaku hissed, clicking the safety off his gun. “This is treason.”

“Come now, Yuu,” Koito smirked, “Let’s not be hasty- drop the gun.”

“I think I’d rather see which of us is faster.”

Before Koito could give a witty retort, there was the sound of another gun’s safety being clicked off. Out of the corner of his eye, Koito saw Tsukishima, aiming Koito’s own gun at Yuusaku. Interesting, Koito privately thought- he almost thought Tsukishima wouldn’t step out of his shell enough to take charge of a situation. As in control as Koito was, he knew he was at somewhat of a disadvantage, bringing a sword to a gunfight. Even if Koito had a few more guns on him.

“Superior Private,” Yuusaku barked out in a commanding tone, “disarm the First Lieutenant by any means necessary! If you do this, you’ll be rewarded- that much, I’ll make sure of.”

It’d been a year now. Tsukishima better know how useless some orders can be- and Koito knew that, at the very least, Tsukishima wasn’t the sort of man to betray loyalties so easily.

“Tsukishima,” Koito said, looking to the man out the corner of his eye, “do what you will.”

Tsukishima advanced on the both of them, carefully keeping an eye on them. In a deadpan voice, he asked, “What would I get?”

“Well, prestige, for one,” Yuusaku smiled, eyes cold as he stared at Koito. Koito stayed still and quiet. “The opportunity to do something worthwhile with your life- the chance to become wealthy beyond measure.”

“Not interested,” Tsukishima interrupted Yuusaku by shooting the gun out his hand. “And I suppose this means you won’t be using my “unusual case” for any precedents anytime soon.”

Koito smiled.

“We’re really just letting him go?” Tsukishima questioned, watching Second Lieutenant Tsurumi and several other soldiers escort the Lieutenant General to the infirmary.

“Well, we can’t exactly do much else,” Koito said, watching Yuusaku go. “He’s still our superior officer- and we both shot him. It’s not as if he can blab, though- he needs your case to be the precedent for his schemes, and if it comes out that not only have you slipped into your murderous ways, but you tried to take me down with you… Well, no more dubiously moral schemes. By the way…”

There was a heavy book hitting the back of Tsukishima’s head, causing pain to bloom between his ears. It was a heavy goddamn book. Holding the stinging back of his head, Tsukishima wheeled around to glare at Koito, hissing out, “What the hell-?!”

“You went and pulled some self-sacrificial shenanigans without even finding what I wanted you to read,” Koito frowned, opening the book up as he continued in a ‘I’m-not-angry-just-disappointed’ tone of voice, “I thought you were smarter than that…”

“Sir that book is in Dutch.”

“I didn’t want you to read Dutch! Don’t you know even the faintest inkling about Rome?” Koito said, flipping through the pages. “It was the Latin.”

“The… the what.” Tsukishima faltered, eyes moving towards the book.

“Memento mori,” Koito said, tapping a page. “Memento mori! What does that sound like to you?”

Tsukishima stared at Koito like he was insane. He might have been insane. Tsukishima may have very well indebted himself to an insane man. At least it couldn’t get much worse than these odd mental games… “”Memory” in English… Moratorium?”

“You know moratorium but not something as widespread as memento mori,” Koito tsked, “This is why you need a more thorough education…”

“What’s the reason I should care about this?”

Koito sighed theatrically and handed the book to him, tapping on the page. “Memento mori means ‘Remember, you must die.’”

“A thrilling discovery, sir.” Tsukishima deadpanned.

“Hush, you,” Koito huffed and then continued. “In the Roman Empire, whenever a new territory was conquered, there would be a massive parade given. The commander who won would be lavished with praise and gifts… but every single parade had a single slave, holding the crown over the head of the conqueror, whispering constantly, memento mori. Remember, you must die. No matter what your conquests are, and no matter your military might, you’ll die the same as the one holding your crown.”

Tsukishima looked at Koito as he thought it over for a moment. While it was an interesting tidbit of information, he still didn’t quite understand what the point of this roundabout exercise even was- or why it mattered in the first place. “So you’re telling me this… as a warning?”

Koito nodded. Tsukishima thought back to Hanazawa Yuusaku, and thinking about it, his arrival at that precise moment had been pretty… convenient. Koito had done some fairly outlandish things, but would he bring his old friend on board just to make some point, right? “To warn me not to become like… Hanazawa then.”

“Not quite,” Koito said, letting out a slow breath. “It’s a warning that I’m not immune to becoming like Hanazawa.”

“Koujirou?” Tsukishima didn’t think that Koito would begrudge him listening in on the seemingly chilly confrontation he had with his friend. If it were staged…

“Either one of them. Either Hanazawa- they’re one and the same, in the end.” Koito rubbed the bridge of his nose, going back into his office and giving a beleaguered sigh. He sat back at his chair, even at his overturned desk and all the papers were strewn around it. On the floor, a few paces away, there were some broken photo frames.

Tsukishima stared at the First Lieutenant, eyebrows furrowing. He closed the book, letting out a breath himself. “So all that was…”

“A coincidence- really,” Koito said, holding a placating hand up. “A lot of rather annoying things keep happening with HQ, and it’s been bothering me. His showing up with his- ludicrous proposal,” Koito laughed bitterly, “was a timely accident.”

“What does this all have to do with me.”

Koito’s gaze softened a bit, a fond sigh leaving him as he leaned forward a bit. “I wanted to have some assurance of your role, is all. But you already performed marvelously earlier. Couldn’t have asked for quicker thinking.”

Tsukishima ignored the praise. “What role.” A beat of silence passed. “... The slave?”

“No… the one holding me back.”

There was silence as Tsukishima processed this. Koito continued. “The things we must do in the hunt for this gold… it can get out of hand quickly. If I can eliminate any chance of becoming anything like him…”

There was nothing more said, after that. Tsukishima quietly helped Koito get his office to rights, and set the book with others. The glass from the broken photo frames was swept up.

Tsukishima was forced to retire for the night as Koito sat alone in his office, an old photograph in his hands. Before Tsukishima could see if the young men in the photo really were Yuusaku (bright-eyed, happy, innocent) and Koito (unscarred, arrogant, prideful), Koito shooed him out.

(Historical Notes:

- The "Sappling Program" doesn't exist and never did. The Japanese didn't employ child soldiers during the Russo-Japanese War, and the reason this exists as is is to explain how 13-year-old Sugimoto ended up in the army- and how he got so handy with bombs...

-While it's still hotly debated as to why the Roman Empire fell, one big reason that many agree on is that it simply collapsed under its own weight, due to being too large an empire for the governing party to maintain. Everything Koito says about military parades and Memento Mori is historically accurate

- The events directly involved in Koito's life include the Satsuma Rebellion/Seinan War (headed by Saigo Takamori, a samurai dissatisfied with the Meiji government as govt positions were filled with primarily the Satsuma nobility and higher classes) and the bombing of Hakodate during the Boshin War by the British

- The juvenile prison system in the Meiji era was really fascinating!! The focus was primarily on rehabilitation and reintegration with society, and many incarcerated were released by age 22. Makes me wonder about canon Shiraishi, though...

Hope you enjoyed!

[red-dead-redemption-2-onlmh]

Cheats in Redemption | Red Dead Wiki | Fandom

💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥 Red Dead Redemption 2 has a full list of cheats which give you various advantages in the game, like unlocking weapons or new Dead-Eye level upgrades. The game's multiplayer component, Red Dead Online, has no cheats though. The cheats for the single player version don't work in Online, nor can you expect there to ever be any kind of cheats in Online. For some of you, this may read like a rather obvious statement. Obviously, why would there be cheats in Red Dead Online? That said, a lot of folk aren't as clear on this. Those players who have experience with Rockstar's other big multiplayer spin-off, Grand Theft Auto Online, will know how relevant the discussion regarding cheating in multiplayer really is. The basic reason for the lack of cheats in Red Dead Online comes down to the economy. As we've already written about, the in-game economy is currently horribly broken. Hopefully, by the time the beta has run its course and Red Dead Online is fully released, things will have been adjusted enough to make it less of a grind, and to eliminate the issue of playing one's self into virtual bankruptcy. While not yet implemented, Red Dead Online will also feature microtransactions that allow players to purchase in-game premium currency with real money. Using the premium currency you can buy cosmetics, horse insurance and weapon customization, among other things. Gold, this premium currency, can be acquired through gameplay but at a very slow pace, which is the incentive for purchasing it. If players have access to cheats, that means they have an advantage that makes farming Gold and regular currency easier or in the case of some codes, would eliminate the need to purchase any upgrades completely , removing the incentive to purchase microtransactions. It also tosses up game balance, ruins PvP and is ill-fitting with immersion and realism. Let's look at a bit of background here. Rockstar learned much about making multiplayer games with their development and on-going support for GTA Online. Rockstar's experiences with that game undoubtedly shaped Red Dead Online in an immense way. Thing is, with GTA Online, Rockstar has been fighting an unending battle with cheaters since practically day one. GTA Online having been released on Xbox and PlayStation 3 before the current gen, those long-cracked consoles proved to be a hotbed for hacking. When the game was released on PC, the peer-to-peer servers put up virtually no resistance to the hackers on that platform. And with character transfers, these vulnerable platforms allowed hackers to access the game on the uncracked Xbox One and PlayStation 4 consoles. Though the situation has been cleaned up for the most part, there were long stretches of time in and where, based on the level of community outrage, one might have thought that GTA Online was made unplayable by rampant hacking. This was almost true. The situation is inherently different with Red Dead Online, yes. The game has only been released so far on the currently uncracked PlayStation 4 and Xbox One consoles, making hacking a non-issue. However, in all likelihood there will be a PC release at some time in the future, and we never know when hackers might crack these current-gen platforms too. Even if, hypothetically, hacks for Red Dead Online appear in the future, their use will incur severe consequences which would likely involve progress wipes and permanent bans, if GTA Online's policy is anything to go by and rightly so! That's the long version of why Rockstar will never suffer cheats in Red Dead Online. So what can you do if you feel stuck, or need help with progress? Your options are restricted to legitimate ones, but if you work smart you can thrive in the game just as well. First of all, since this is the beta testing phase, the current state of the in-game economy should not be considered final. Considering the magnitude of the criticism aimed at prices and rewards, we think that Rockstar is very likely going to change things before the full release of Red Dead Online. Beyond that, you can refer to our numerous guides that help you master the various mechanics of Red Dead Online. Whether it's money-making , ranking up or using the ability card system, we've got you covered with tips and trick to up your game. Keep your eye on our Red Dead Online guides section as we update it with new information and walkthroughs. Join our discussion forums Aron is up to date on all the daily happenings with regard to Red Dead Redemption 2 and that's why you'll find he posts most of the news here at RDR2. You can find Aron on Facebook. Forgot password?

[labyrinth-of-headcanons]

A surprise rant, yay!

Hellooo everyone,

It is I, your favorite mood destroyer, here again, to try and tell you about my problems.

Maybe something about myself lately, as there are surprisingly a few of you who are very concerned about me, which I appreciate, so quick update: I quit my job which generally made me very unhappy and depressed at the beginning of the year and am currently battling the mental illness that came because of it. So far, even if I had some very bad days and weeks - which you might have noticed too, every now and then - I’ve been doing a bit better and only recently I started therapy to work on my trauma, which hopefully will dissolve most of my problems. So far it’s going okay, only some of the medication I got are very troublesome and also mood-changing, hence why I am currently super frustrated and decided to rant a little. I want to apologize to everyone who might think I am rude today, but please understand I heavily lack the compassion right now.

First of all, maybe a few good aspects first:

Since joining the discord server you saw going around, I feel like I am improving my writing - there are a lot of very helpful and creative pupils there and I am super thankful I got to know them, plus I am currently absorbing anything I can learn and am really trying - and I decided to get it out more into the tumblrverse, hence why I am starting to tag more magi related things now. It took me a while to get to this point, as I always thought it looks quite attention-needy, but I feel like I should deserve to get more recognition for work that takes me hours sometimes (not joking, you should see me writing scenarios, it’s a disaster). So if you see the tags, please just smile and move on, this has nothing to do with you, who are already reading it!

I want to work with more prompt lists in the future, but I think I will take a step back on how I handled them till now. I will keep labeling them as specials, but all the rules and limitations are too strict for my taste at the moment. You all probably felt like this too and I just want to go back to have more leisure fun. (It’s funny to say that when I am about to complain soon hahaha)

Even though a lot was double requested lately, by now, it seems you all got the hang of it and it makes my life so much easier to not have to go on the search myself, while you get to see your request immediately, isn’t that practical? It saves time and it makes me very happy, same as that no one shortens names anymore! Just seeing the full names make me incredibly happy, thank you so much! Also, there is much more politeness lately, so I guess I did get through to you and it’s good noticing that others look out for me too.

Okay so far so good, let’s ruin moods now, shall we:

Even though I know that magi ended and snb too, I am still a bit sad to have to say that I don’t regularly get enough requests anymore for me to be able to have a 3 requests/day queue. It’s sad having to take this step back but if we do the maths, I’d at least need to get 2 requests for HC and either one more or one for scenario (3 all together) per night/day so that we can keep it running without problems. But as it seems and with how everything turned out with the manga I don’t think I can support it very much anymore, when I want to let the blog run as long as it takes for the fandom to die completely. Of course, this could change if there were a sudden rise, but if we face it truthfully, your guys must slowly be running out of ideas after 1200+ requests and I understand that. Since I actually have a few saved up requests (minus the scenarios) rn, I might let it run for 3 for two more days, but then I’ll have to change it, sorry for the disappointment though since you were probably used to the 3 a day!

As much as you guys listen to me about the topics of the other rants, there are still a few who leave a bitter taste with their requests. I do have some specific examples, but I will put them under the cut later, so do look into them. I also plan on renewing the rules soon, more info follows now:

Aside from me having to delete more requests than ever, simply because they are not doable, I just noticed that apparently a lot of you have troubles with specifying. But it’s not manageable anymore. If I was a new blog, you can do that but by now, if you have no idea in which direction your request about a popular character should go, then don’t bother sending anything in, please. Don’t bother with time and places too much, just give me a good, detailed ‘What should be happening’. There will also be a new rule which will state exactly which form of requests I am simply not going to answer anymore, including:

> One sentence requests > Requests without real happening, concerning body types > Requests without real happening, concerning characters sexuality

And some more, that I have yet to spell out on paper.

I am majorly bored by the not-existing diversity of characters. I don’t know about you guys but no matter how much I like certain characters, they get soooooo plain to write for over time. I see so many people liking all the side-characters but I am honestly doubting that since there are no requests for them at all. Of course, you don’t have to pressure yourself into it, but if you have an idea for a request, which was already used on your favorite character, why not request it for someone you are more neutral to or you like but don’t think so much about it? Also ironically I get more Hakuren/Hakuyuu requests - which I still don’t like and I won’t keep quiet about it, I ABSOLUTELY DON’T LIKE WRITING FOR THEM - than Hakuryuu and if that doesn’t make you guys think about it, I just don’t know anymore, maybe you should reread the manga or something. Here are some ideas: Hakuryuu, Aladdin, Alibaba, Kougyoku, Hakuei, Sphintus, Doron, Lo’lo, Myron, Razol, Yaqut, Masrur, Sharrkan, Yamraiha, Hinahoho, Rurumu, Pisti, Spartos, Armakan, Mira, Darius, Takeruhiko, Nanaumi, any household members of the Kou Empire, Alma Torran Characters, Arba, David, Mahad, Olba, Toto, Yunan, Badr, Esra AND SO MANY MORE

My rules are not bendable anymore and out. I am super duper agitated that my rules, my comfort zone, the things that are important to me, are just being tossed around and stepped on. If you break the rules, I don’t see any reason to be gentle anymore. There can be mistakes yes but if you regularly request than you are being incredibly rude and that’s all I am going to say about that. Plus, before you come with the argument that you couldn’t have possibly known it because you didn’t see this specific post, where I stated it, then I’d recommend reading the rules, the embodiment of everything. If that’s not something you want to do, you may leave.

Also, people starting to send in previously denied request again, why. Just why. There is a reason and if I denied it once, the chance I wanted to see it again is 0%. Congratulation for wasting time, seriously.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. This is always getting out of hand but I am seriously restless about these things. Maybe it would help if you guys would remember that in the end I am just another human being and I have limits, which you are destroying ever once in a while. I am not including all of you here, but a few of you would do good to keep down a little and use some common sense.

I do wish everyone a good start into the week and that you have a good time. If there are any questions, I am always open for conversations, you guys shouldn’t bottle things inside of you either.

Now a few responses to requests and then I’ll be in bed for now:

@little-wizard-3010 Rules are rules. I can’t exchange length of writing for another character, this is ridiculous of a demand, when I clearly state I don’t want more than two per scenario request. You could always send in the same requests multiple times, but for the moment that I’ll be writing it, I only want to concentrate on two okay. I am deleting it for now, you can think about sending it in again according to rules or not, your decision.

@ashirishadowbates You’ll need to do better than that. I don’t think characters are superficial, why does no one understand this. Maybe you all want me to be mean and make bad headcanons, but why are you not stating this then? Give me a real thing like: ‘Hi! Can I have HCs about S/o feeling insecure about being chubby at the Mahrajan, because she sees the other dancers and Sinbad comforts her. Thank you!’ That’s a reason. If they have anxiety and that’s all of the information I am going to get, you’d be better off going in the comfort tag and enjoy yourself. Also what is going to be chubby change with nsfw? I am chubby and that sure as hell does not make me different in any aspect of life. Sex is not a problem solver, or else I just found out what I am doing wrong the last few years. Give. Me. A reason to do your request. You want something proper? Then give me something proper.

Well, would you have read the actual post, you would have seen I had a deadline there. Pretty bold you’d still send in a request so many weeks later wow. You’ve got guts.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #173: Threshold of Oblivion!

July, 1978

What the heck is up with Hercules’ shoes.

Oh also I guess Yellowjacket, Black Widow and Hercules are going to get kirby krackled? Maybe to death but considering the recent trend, its more likely that they’re going to get disappeared.

And though he has vanished, stern Vision is still with us in our hearts and also in the logo and in a picture in the background.

So last time: quite a bit of things. We’re in the middle of a saga so plot points are piling up. The Avengers met up with the future raccoon-less Guardians of the Galaxy who were afraid a cyborg named Korvac was going to kill Vance Astro when he was just a kid. So they’ve set up shop watching him. Meanwhile, Korvac has far grander plans like marrying a supermodel and chilling in short shorts in Forest Hills. He still killed but then resurrected Starhawk when the one who knows found him.

The Avengers have also been dealing with some disappearances. At first it was just people nobody would miss like Two-Gun Kid and Quicksilver but then beloved characters like Vision, Captain America, and Jocasta have vanished as well.

On top of all that nonsense Peter Henry Gyrich has taken away the Avengers priority status with the US government because of their shitty security. When it rains, it pours. And then it floods because you have consistently failed to plan for flooding in one-hundred and seventy-two issues of precipitation. Which is to say that in a large way the Avengers brought this on themselves and needed this kick in the ass.

But the most immediate threat is the vanishing Avengers so that’s where we start. With Iron Man assembling the best of the what’s left to try to figure this out.

And by best I mean the Whizzer, Captain Marvel, and Black Panther. Two out of three ain’t bad.

But more help is on the way. Black Widow and Hercules arrive in New York via commercial airline (did they not repair the Champscraft after Iron Man broke it?). Black Widow and Hercules are Avengers adjacent characters so were called in by Yellowjacket and the Wasp.

Hercules is being an ass, flirting with a crowd of admiring women instead of disembarking, so Black Widow demonstrates the leadership skills that put her in charge despite being the non-powered person on a team with Hercules, Ghost Rider, Angel, and Iceman.

She shoots Hercules in the head.

That’s her leadership style.

Hercules then shows why he’s not in charge of anything when he tears through the plane rather than go around the terminal and then smashes a helicopter when the pilot refuses to give them a ride since the Avengers priority status has been revoked.

That pilot is now destitute and will starve in the streets without his livelihood.

Anyway.

Hercules and Black Widow arrive at Avengers Mansion and join Iron Man’s round table from the opening splash page.

Iron Man still has no clue what technology might be behind the disappearances so he decides to work with SHIELD scientists to figure it- oh, nope.

Avengers are no longer authorized to contact SHIELD.

So Iron Man decides to do something perhaps a little sketchy and go over SHIELD’s head and contact Nick Fury directly using super secret emergency frequencies that he knows as Tony Stark.

But Nick Fury isn’t any help either (and Tony Stark is probably going to get an angry call in his future for sharing the frequencies (with himself)).

Nick Fury: “I don’t know how ya wormed this frequency outta Stark, Shellhead -- but it won’t do ya any good! As long as Agent Gyrich considers the Avengers a security risk, SHIELD is severin’ all ties! Nick Fury -- out!”

Dang.

Even Nick Fury won’t help them. And he’s as amoral and screw the rules as you can reasonably expect from the boss of an international spy organization. And this whole saga started off with them saving his satellite from a bigger satellite that was no threat to it.

No gratitude.

Anyway, in Forest Hills, Korvac spies on the Avengers.

Perhaps he’s bored.

Or rather, its part of an overall observation to make sure nobody is onto him, as he tells Carina when she comes in to offer him some cocoa.

And by the way, he turns her down. HE CAN JUST MANIFEST COCOA FROM NOTHINGNESS so screw your kind offer.

Kind of rude, Korvac.

Anyway, he also spies on the Guardians of the Galaxy, showing Karina through a kirby krackle viewing hole that they’re fully invested in guarding young Vance Astrovik with no thought to any other possible course of action.

Korvac: “And none even suspect that they are acting on my will, as one of the myriad adjustments I must make in the cosmos to prepare it for my... proprietorship!”

I also want to note that its an incredibly bad idea for Nikki Gold to hide in a tree. Her hair is made of fire and trees are flammable.

But back to spying.

There are others that Korvac must spy on who are slighly less oblivious than the Avengers and Guardians so Korvac tells Carina to gtfo because he needs all his manly concentration and with none of her womanly distractions. Presumably.

So she leaves to go to her bedroom and cries because of Korvac’s cold indifference. Or perhaps because she’s secretly a spy and must now betray Korvac’s trust.

But as she goes to do... something? all with the crackling of energies, she stops.

Carina: “No! I - I can’t do it! I can’t! Michael may be mad to think he’s a god, that he’s the rightful owner of the universe! But father help me -- i’m starting to believe him!”

It is perhaps my more modern sensibilities that has a problem with this. Korvac and Carina’s relationship has been almost entirely off-panel and in suggestion. One of the few times we’ve seen them relaxing together and he’s callously dismissive of her presence and her cocoa offer.

And yet their relationship and love for one another is a key facet of events going forward. So we have to take it on faith that these two love each other enough to motivate actions to come.

Even though Korvac is a typical example of emotionally unavailable take take take no give toxic masculinity.

So for this among other reasons, I will disagree with Korvac that he’s the rightful owner of the universe.

Mankind ills needs a savior such as him.

Anyway. I’m venting, somewhat. Hopefully this will make more sense to you later.

So. Korvac.

Using his PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER he reaches out and watches the unbeknowst Watcher, peeps on Odin and Zeus, and spies on Mephisto’s brunch.

And satisfied that those great powers remain unaware of his schemey plans, he checks on Eternity. The big space weirdo that is actually the entire universe. Because comics are weird and so are Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Korvac: “It is good! None yet guess that I even exist! But there still remains the most important entity to be observed! The celestial vastness of -- ETERNITY HIMSELF! Eternity! He who is the universe personified... within whom all the stuff of this reality exists. He’s so confident, so serene in his omnipotence! He would pay little heed to a mote such as I, even had I not shielded myself from his sight! But one day -- one day soon -- I will take what is rightfully mine!”

Korvac, you’re such an anime villain in so many ways. Scheming to usurp the universe and all...

However, with his senses outstretched or however you describe senses - like trying to hear harder? Senses are weird - Korvac feels something. A ripple in the cosmic fabric.

Coming from disturbingly nearby.

And he marches to Carina’s bedroom, slams the door open, and confronts her over her treachery.

But as he’s physically manhandling her, he looks into her eyes and sees only love.

Remember: this is a love story.

Of sorts.

Anyway, back to the titular characters and their problems.

Captain Marvel flies off from Avengers Mansion to scour the world with his cosmic senses.

And since there’s nothing that Black Widow and Hercules can actually do at the moment (not even using her spy connections? Geez, Natasha. Geez), they go off to get their luggage from the airport.

On their way to the airport, Natasha and Hercules have Real Talk which is probably more relevant to the Champions book.

Basically Hercules says that since mortals live only a wink in the eye of a god “‘tis of little import how long one lives -- how well is what really matters!”

Which makes Natasha realize a thing or two about how Hercules sees her.

Anyway, back at the mansion again, Whizzer declines to help. After the Count Nefaria fiasco where his Old Man Nihilism helped save the day, he’s realized that he’s too old for this line of work.

And Hawkeye is not an ass for once. Instead he uses his bouquet of flowers arrow to try to cheer Scarlet Witch up. But with Vision and Quicksilver among the missing, she’s feeling some young woman nihilism. A simple trick arrow won’t be cheering her up.

Although ‘simple’ is underselling it. How did he fit a bouquet of flowers in an arrow? WHAT ARROW SORCERY IS THIS?

I mean, he also invented anti-gravity to make an anti-gravity arrow that one time. Its possible that Hawkeye is actually a scientific genius who also happens to be a garbage fire. Or an actual arrow wizard. Who also happens to be a garbage fire.

Also, a Russian steamer slowly approaches New York carrying a weird old man who carves a doll of Scarlet Witch and is just reeking of foreshadowing. What is this guy’s deal? You’ll have to wait and see. Or just google it. Up to you.

Meanwhile Thor returns from one of his Thor trips. But weirdly he doesn’t recognize Wonder Man. Or remember the battles against Graviton or Count Nefaria.

Something weird is going on, Thor-wise. He doesn’t even accept half of Wonder Man’s sandwich.

Although the sandwich wasn’t cut in half before Wonder Man started eating it so its kind of a weird offer.

Meanwhile, in the Avengers laboratory. Yellowjacket is starting to feel like a character in an Agatha Christie novel. Perhaps like a giant bee alien that has been programmed to follow murder mysteries in times of stress.

The Avengers’ equipment isn’t sensitive enough to track the disappearances and none of the people they’ve reached out to have been willing to help them because of Peter Henry Gyrich taking away their priority status.

I have to wonder why they didn’t reach out to the Fantastic Four, honestly. Not even a call that ends with ‘sorry we have our own troubles.’ They just didn’t even try. Nor the X-Men nor the Defenders and their magic guy Mr. Weird.

Although in fairness, the Defenders are dicks. But why not the Fantastic Four?

Oh shared universe, sometimes you’re not so shared after all.

But Black Panther hits upon an obvious idea.

They’re in good with the Guardians of the Galaxy, right? And their Drydock space station is just hanging around not doing anything, right? With technology a thousand years in advance of the Avengers’? Why not just get in touch with them and get them to sort it out?

This idea is so good that Black Panther and Yellowjacket spontaneously cease to exist.

Or maybe they’ve been disappeared by the mysterious adversary.

And Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man were also taken, as Hawkeye and Thor run in to report.

Is it targeted? Or opportunistic?

Black Panther just came up with a good idea and Yellowjacket was about to put it into action when they were vanished. But nothing stops the non-disappeared members from just doing what Black Panther suggested.

And they do do that. Iron Man contacts Vance Astro aboard Drydock and he tells them that he has traced a radiation trail to an object three cubic meters in size orbiting Earth. Which Astro directly compares to the size of a phone box.

Curious and also more curious.

Was Doctor Who the villain all along?

Probably... probably...

Anyway, now that they know where has been causing this trouble, Iron Man asks Astro to teleport the Avengers to it.

He questions the sense of squeezing so many people into a phone box (he would have hated the 50s) but goes ahead and does it anyway.

Inside the bigger on the inside phone box shaped object with a function that allows it to go unnoticed, a chameleon circuit if you will, the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue is gloating over his collection of Avengers in tubes.

Mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue: “It is fortunate that his attention was focused elsewhere. Otherwise, I would have been forced to continue acquiring Avengers in the same sporadic manner as before -- in order to avoid detection!”

We also see that in addition to the ones explicitly yoinked (Wonder Man, Yellowjacket, Scarlet Witch, Black Panther) the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue also snagged Black Widow, Hercules, and Captain Marvel.

Geez. Letting them go off unsupervised really didn’t pay off.

Anyway, the four remaining Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, and the Wasp) loudly announce their presence instead of trying to keep the element of surprise. And by that I mean it was all on Hawkeye.

But the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue isn’t upset to see the Avengers storming his not-TARDIS. In fact, he’s thrilled

The Collector: “‘Cowering’? But my dear fellows, I’m absolutely delighted you’re here! After all, you’ve just saved me the considerable bother of fetching you! For I am -- THE COLLECTOR! And you, my hapless friends, have just completed my collection! Ah hah ha ha ha ha!”

Oh hey its this nerd again!

Good twist, good surprise villain! I love the Collector. Always with the attempted collecting of the Avengers for reasons. Always with being a huge nerd.

And this time he actually managed a scheme that wasn’t dumb. Instead of pretending to be Tom Fagan, he just kidnapped the Avengers with teleportation while invisibly hiding out in orbit in a not-TARDIS. And he would have and might still get away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Vance Astro!

Of course, this isn’t a typical the Collector story. Its part of the Korvac Saga and that leaves open the question of why. We have to assume that the distracted ‘he’ the Collector spoke of was Korvac and his inattentiveness scanning the great powers and yelling at his wife was what allowed the Collector to step up his kidnapping game.

But why? I guess we’ll find out

Next: Captured by the Collector!

Please follow @essential-avengers if you like these posts. Or even if you’re benevolently indifferent.

[andymull]

WWE Wrestlemania 34 - Preview & Predictions

Brock Lesnar (c) vs Roman Reigns: WWE Universal Championship Match

I see this going only one way, and that’s another attempt at getting Reigns over as the main star of the company. The title win is in no doubt but the real question is how do they get there?? 

My point being would they have the nerve to have Heyman turn on Lesnar and join Roman as a heel twosome? It looks likely that Brock will be out of the company for awhile so they may as well find a use for Paul if he’s to stay around too, although he does have plans as well so maybe not around full time.

A simple Roman win wont go over well so any extra gimmicks they can add will be much needed in keeping the fans on side - REIGNS

AJ Styles (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura: WWE Championship Match

The dream match that most of us have seen already, but anyway it will be awesome as these two mesh so well together, and I imagine they will get plenty of time to impress the audience watching on.

This really is the time to strike with a Nakamura title reign, the whole crowd will be pumped for it and more than ready to sing his theme music for as long a possible. The rematch will be built for their next show and then we move onto fresh feuds with Nakamura being the star they need. Styles will still be having awesome matches and I see them both maybe mixing it up with new talent on the show, both from NXT as well as a possible superstar shakeup again - NAKAMURA

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs Stephanie McMahon & Triple H

A match where the outcome really isnt in question as Ronda needs to win her debut bout, I hope Angle working a decent length match goes well and that Ronda takes to wrestling as quick as I think she will.

I could see Rousey winning by making either Steph or Hunter tap as both would get the company great press, Steph should be the obvious loser which in turn makes her stay away from messing with Ronda in the future - ROUSEY/ANGLE

Shane McMahon & Daniel Bryan vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn: If Owens/Zayn Win They Return To Smackdown

This all comes down to the finish and will Shane turn on Bryan to side with Owens/Zayn, or will harmony prevail and the heels lose and end up moving to Raw? Both outcomes should provide good tv, the first gives a solid storyline for their show that can run for awhile giving Bryan a very solid first feud back. The second makes sense in that’s what the bosses should really want for their show, but at the same time losing those two is a pretty big gap you shouldn't want to lose - SHANE/BRYAN

Charlotte (c) vs Asuka: WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship Match

I dont think there’s really much of an arguement here, Asuka won the Rumble, moves to Smackdown, takes the title and keeps her streak running for now. The defeat wont be too harmful to Charlotte and really gives her an added impotence to improve and be better to challenge again for her title down the road.

Hopefully Smackdown pick up the Iconic Duo after tonight and they can be added to the mix to freshen it up slightly and add a different angle than the Riott Squad can - ASUKA

Bludgeon Brothers vs The Uso’s (c) vs The New Day: WWE Smackdown Tag Team Triple Threat Match

Most people would prefer this to just be The Uso’s vs The New Day but Luke Harper really deserves the spotlight so ill put up with it, the added power of Rowan and Harper should give their previous matches a different aspect that the guys can use well.

Any of the three teams could win the belts, the Bludgeon Brothers win and dominate leading to the others to have to work together down the road to get the belts off them. The Uso’s could carry on their reign, but with them they really have worked everyone so a change is needed. And The New Day need another title run just for Big E to get back to 5!!!! - THE NEW DAY

The Miz (c) vs Finn Balor vs Seth Rollins: WWE Intercontinental Title Triple Threat Match

The big point here is will Miz retain and break the IC record or will he lose and get some time off with his newborn daughter? I really see them wanting Miz to break it so that they have something else to add to him and his act, plus he could have some house shows off for a few weeks and solely work tv and no-one would really notice.

When it comes to Balor and Rollins I dont think either should be around this level so putting the belt on them is probably not for the best. One of them might want to look at a heel turn to distinguish theirselves better, but then again if Roman was to turn they would already be behind someone they couldn't get past so maybe not  - MIZ

Bob Roode vs Randy Orton (c) vs Jinder Mahal vs Rusev: US Title Fatal Four Way Match

You know that feeling when you've had enough of talking about multi person matches then you realise its going to be even worse to sit through watching?? Yeah that’s the feeling.

Poor Rusev has been added to the bore fest due to the awesome reactions he’s been receiving over the past few months, but sadly I dont see him winning unless they really decide to call an audible due to the fans reactions during the match.

Outside of Rusev its really between Orton and Bob as to who takes it, and really there’s no need to take it from Orton just yet - ORTON

The Bar (c) vs Braun Strowman & ???? : WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match

All the talk here is about who the mystery partner is and not about The Bar and their title reign which feels alittle off, it doesn't feel the time for them to drop the titles but really when it comes to Braun and a surprise partner its hard to see them keeping their belts.

When it comes to the actual partner the favourites for the position currently are Elias, Big Show, Bray Wyatt, Samoa Joe. I hope its Elias and this is the main step of his face turn as the fans are dying to be able to cheer for him, if they use him and dont turn him face there could be un-needed problems though. Joe seems ready to return but the rumour is he is due for a higher return feud with Roman. It feels alittle early to have Bray return especially if he has a new character, but the link is already there to Braun which would make some sense. Big Show has just recently signed a new contract but the prospect of it being him isnt one that fills me with enjoyment, and I doubt it would go over well with the fans in attendance - BRAUN & PARTNER

Alexa Bliss (c) vs Nia Jax: WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match

A match between the two former best friends which sadly feels alot less special than the Smackdown women’s match, due to Asuka’s involvement here and then quickly moving away to the Charlotte feud making Bliss look less important.

When it comes to calling the winner its a tough one, Nia is really someone that makes for a better challenger/chaser for the title as a monster face champion can be awkward to execute well. If Bliss wins I hope they have her more active over the coming month as she feels to have been on the sidelines alot lately.

The real x factor here is Carmella, as this should be the moment she cashes in and decides to go for the Raw title instead of the Smackdown one. It adds alot of interest in their title scene which will be needed, ill go for Nia destroying Bliss and being too tired to capitalise on it while Carmella charges down the ramp to cash in - CARMELLA

Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali: WWE Cruiserweight Tournament Finals For The Cruiserweight Title - Kick-Off Show

A superb tournament from the 205 Live guys with some great performances from their current guys as well as new faces firmly making names for theirselves on the show. 

This should be a really fun match between the two with Ali bringing more on the promo side of things which may mean the edge when deciding a winner, I see Ali winning and moving to a feud with Gulak with hopefully Murphy not far behind - ALI

Andrew The Giant Memorial Battle Royal - Kick-Off Show

Who knows whats happening here, from looking at the announced list of entrants so far you have to be looking at the likes of Elias, Matt Hardy, Ziggler and maybe Corbin. Id throw in Jeff Hardy if they want it to come down to brother vs brother possibly. In terms of surprises id look to NXT first with names such as McIntyre, Almas and maybe even the long-shot of Del Rio who just got released by Impact for shock value - MATT HARDY

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal - Kick-Off Show

Who wins the worst female trophy ever? Expect afew legends in the match like Trish Stratus and hopefully more girls from NXT as they should have had more spots in the Rumble than the likes of Vickie Guerrero and Kelly Kelly. 

Lynch, Banks and Bayley look to be the favourites for the win, maybe one of Banks/Bayley costing the other the win allowing for Becky to take it. If the controversy of Moolah hadn't have occurred I think they would have gotten a main card spot (and more money), oh well its not like the match will be anything special anyway just the women struggling to go over the top as normal.

Hopefully they dont go on about how its the FIRST women’s battle royal at Mania when its not, its really not that difficult to research is it - LYNCH

John Cena vs The Undertaker??

Will this occur in a full match or will it result in a quick brawl? Is Taker ready for a decent length match anymore? Will we get deadman Taker or Biker Taker? Will he appear in the middle of the HOF segment when Kid Rock is announced and drive through them all on his motorbike? Or will Taker just appear and challenge Cena to a match at next years Mania?? 

Get ready for 7 hours, may the force be with you, fOreVER

Bye for now 

Andy

[imagine-loki]

A Warrior’s Life

TITLE: A Warrior’s Life

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Eighty

AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Viking Loki coming to your village, raiding, and pillaging, before deciding there is something about you that intrigues him and deciding to take you back to Asgard with him. There, you are forced to learn a new life and language, and though you hate what has happened to you, you learn that Loki is not as bad as you think.

RATING: Mature

Exhausted, Maebh walked back to the trees where she had left Loki; if she ever got a full night's sleep again and cleaned, she would be a happy woman, but as she felt the nausea that accompanied another child beginning to develop in her womb, she doubted sleep would be something she would be overly burdened with in the future, especially as she was not in the safety of her own lands. She ached all over, her shoulder screaming in agony since she was forced to protect herself with her wounded arm. Her legs ached, as did her back and arms, her head pounded almost as though she had been the one that had been struck by the rock, but she continued on, the horse she had mounted into battle had continued to gallop off after she launched herself from its back, slaughtering a man in the process, as well as his hound. She had captured another horse, one of theirs, tame and lumbering, but useful nonetheless, she simply was too tired to mount it the small distance to the trees. As soon as she reached them, she went in search of Loki.

"He is here," She turned to see Hogun on a horse, Loki strapped to him. "I have him."

"Keep hold of him," She smiled. "I need him alive to curse."

"It would not do to have you unable to curse him in person once more, Volstagg chuckled. "So bets in, another girl to give your daughter company, or another brother to plague her with?"

"Healthy is all that matters." Loki groaned drowsily as Hogun got the horse to walk on.

Maebh forced herself onto the animal she had captured. "Indeed."

"Any inclinations?" Fandral asked.

"A child." Chuckles and laughter met her words.

"Always with the jokes," Volstagg commented. "Loki, you must be laughing often."

"Almost as often as your wife does looking at your face." he retorted, his speech slurred slightly.

"You are lucky you are so injured at present." The red-haired warrior growled.

"Yes, I would hate to have to show you up, yet again." Loki grinned, earning a scowl with a hint of a smile on Volstagg's face.

"You cannot be too injured if you are able to joke as much as you are."

"I have been worse."

"Be grateful you do not have anything else to do; it is well known what your wife did in such a state," Hogun stated.

"I think most men fear the process of birthing at the best of times." Maebh scoffed.

"Did I ever mention how grateful I am for everything you do for us and our children?" Loki asked as he thought of his greatest stomach pains and tried to envisage them alongside the pain he was feeling at that time.

"That will give you no grace when I birth this child." Maebh scoffed as they continued on their journey. "What numbers have we?"

"Eighteen in total, all are on horseback." Hogun counted from where he and Loki were. "We can make it there by dawn if we start now."

Seeing that daylight was decreasing fast, Maebh considered Hogun's statement. "We could if we were all healthy, but as it stands, we may not."

"What do you suggest?" Fandral asked, bringing his horse beside hers.

"We ride as far as we can, but at the first sign of one getting too weak, we will have to reconsider."

"There is no guarantee we can reach the boats before the Midgardians then," Volstagg noted.

"That is a risk we will have to take. The wind is exceptionally bitter, I know we are in high lands, but that tells us the wind is coming from the North, meaning it is currently not aiding our enemies, that is at least one thing in our favour." Maebh explained.

"The more time I spend in your company, the more I come to fear your knowledge," Fandral admitted.

"Just think, you thought me interesting the day you met me on Midgard," Maebh reminded him, not realising at the time what he was even saying to her when she had first met the blonde warrior as she was brought to the boats.

"I would never have even have attempted to interact with you, much less bring you back with us," Fandral commented.

"Fandral spends his nights wishing he had the courage to do as I did." Loki smiled as he tried to focus on a point to get his vision less blurred once more.

"Courage or utter stupidity that luckily for you paid off, I still have not decided," Fandral stated.

"Will you cease talking and focus on preventing your head from getting worse." Maebh snapped at her husband before she urged her horse on.

"That's not ours," Volstagg noted as he looked at the horse.

"I do not care, it will not gallop with speed, but it will get me there," Maebh commented. "What news from Asgard?"

"We have been gone not much shorter a time than yourselves, so honestly, we have had little knowledge ourselves." the red haired warrior answered. "We were expecting a response to a message we sent a short time back, but nothing has come."

"Perhaps it will be waiting for us when we return to the village." Maebh smiled.

"I hope you right," Volstagg commented.

"You seem worried," Maebh looked at him worriedly.

"It is most irregular."

"Hopefully it is nothing." Maebh smiled encouragingly. "Come, we have much road to make."

"How is your shoulder?" They had made it late into the night before it became too much for the wounded. Loki sat sitting against a rock beside his wife.

"Aching considerably, your head?"

"The same as you." he pulled her close to him. "I was so scared when I realised what was happening, I was so scared you would be harmed. You are wounded, because of me."

"Because of them, you mean. They hurt me, not you."

"You came back for me, after I told you not to."

"Did you think I would listen?" Maebh scoffed. "We are a team you and I, until the end." Loki kissed her head before placing his hand on her stomach. "I cannot believe you have done this again. I will never cease to carry your children."

"Did I mention you are at your loveliest when you do." He smiled proudly.

"Do you recall, when we were wed, you thought yourself unable to have a child of your own blood?" she smiled.

"How incredibly wrong I was." he kissed her temple. "I am sorry for this."

"The child?"

"You are neither willing nor of the mind for one, especially after Nafi's departure."

"Not willing? Loki, you seem to be under the impression I was forced to lie with you; when the truth is quite to the contrary. I cannot place when exactly I came to carry this one, but it I can assume how far I am based on how I feel and of the times we lay together then, I was often the instigator, and very much a willing participant."

"I do not recall finishing in you."

"Well, you must have, otherwise I am carrying a Godling child with no Earthly sire." She joked before coming serious. "You do know it is…"

Loki kissed her to cease her words, "It is mine, you would never do anything like that." He stated firmly. "I merely stated that because of the now blatant ridiculousness of my  previous concerns."

"We will be home soon, then we can laugh at the madness of all of this."

"I cannot express my relief at such words." Loki kissed her head again. "Thank you for coming for me."

"I could never leave you Loki."

"I wish you had not risked our child though, he would not be pleased."

"He?"

"I have dreamt of him, in my mind as I have flickered between being conscious and unconscious, he is my son, in every way, just as Danu is my daughter."

"Oh Norns, another you, surely that is a crime against the Gods." Maebh joked.

"Wait and see, every maiden just born or yet to be born on Asgard will be smitten with him." Loki proclaimed.

Maebh glanced at him from the side of her eye. "I think you are still ill from your head wound."

"You found me irresistible, do not deny it."

"I tried to slit your throat." she reminded him.

"You killed two bigger than me without a second thought, me you hesitated, admit it, you were smitten from the start."

"Do not flatter yourself, I was in mourning and you had weird rich green eyes, they side-tracked me."

"Smitten." he grinned, pulling her in against him, Maebh said no more but smiled in return.

[arkus-rhapsode]

What If Azuma Turned Good? A Fairy Tail Discussion

Hey there guys! Rhapsode here, and this is something different I wanted to try. After being inspired by other creators like MasakoX, I wanted to try my hand with the “what if” scenario game only with Fairy Tail. I thought it would be nice to start of with an interesting villain character that sadly didn’t get much done with him so I thought I would ask the question, ‘What if Azuma turned good?” I don’t know if this’ll be a permanent thing, but if you want to see more stuff like this done by me, please send feedback. Also, I need to put this as a disclaimer.

This is completely a fan based work, this isn’t me saying the series of Fairy Tail would’ve been better with this change. This is just simply me wanting to explore a scenario for fun. Also in terms of context this will be me building off what Mashima has already made, there won’t be any drastic changes in canon from before this what if, so for good r for ill thing like Lisanna still being alive, Jellal still having been controlled by Ultear, and Juvia being gaga for Gray still exists regardless if I think they were good story choices or not.  With all that said, let’s ask, what if Azuma became good?

So we open all the way back on the Tenrou Island arc, where Azuma makes his first appearance easily defeating Rune Knight and Pantherlily. Azuma at this point shows himself off as cold and unfeeling to things that stand in his way. He meets Mirajane and Lisanna, provoking Mira into a fight. Though instead of a bomb Azuma just captures Lisanna in branches saying that he’ll crush her, which causes Mira to attack.

After a brief scuffle, Azuma comes out on top, securing himself as a threat to FT, but shows a level of nuance to his character by refusing to kill Mirajane out of respect for this fight that she gave him. This moment is crucial for Azuma as character as it illustrates he is not another cut and dry villain, but has a layer of depth that separates him from guys like Yomazu, Kawazu, Kain, and Zancrow.

Eventually we get to the climactic battle where Azuma and Erza fight, stating that his purpose for join Grimoire Heart was find himself a worthy opponent and he sees that in Erza. After a long battle, Azua looks like he has the upper hand and Terra Clamare on Erza. This results in and almost decisive win for Azuma and he gets a scene where he turns his back a utters some catchy badass anime warrior thing like, “You fought well, Titania”. But Erza survives and with her last ounce of strength she strikes and cuts through Azuma.

Now in canon, this is where Azuma dies, but in this universe, Erza still wins, but her slash doesn’t kill Azuma, but rather cuts of his right arm. This way we don’t diminish the badassery of Erza’s comeback, but we don’t make it so overblown that it seem like overcompensating. This also is symbolic for Azuma as not only has he tasted defeat at someone who is stronger than him, but Azuma also now has lost right arm thus crippling him and significantly breaking his pride as a warrior. With Azuma not dying, he and Erza manage to talk for a little bit, with him questioning how she got so strong that not even lost magic could beat her. Erza states that it was due to having a place that she could return home to, that she didn’t want to let down Fairy Tail. Azuma hears this and says that it must be some great place.

When Azuma asks to be killed, Erza refuses, showing the same respect Azuma showed Mira, but Azuma does manage to pay her back by revealing the part of the Grimoire airship that stores Hades’ devil heart. (Which when we think about it makes more sense why team Natsu would take the fight to Hades’ airship). The battle still commences with Azuma, after patching himself a bit, leaving Tenrou before Acnologia shows up, I mean, Ultear and Meredy made it out of Tenrou and in filler Rustyrose did, so it isn’t farfetched that Azuma couldn’t. And here’s the big moment, Acnologia “kills” FT, with many like Lahar, Mest, and yes, Azuma watching.

We go 7 years into the future, with Romeo coming back to FT after a mission, and I mean the first FT building, FT never lost it. We see Romeo return to FT, but he is harassed by a few Twilight Ogre mages who make fun of the fact FT has kids working at it and all of their mages are weak now if their best couldn’t beat a dragon. Romeo is stopped from fighting by Master Macao who says to not deal with them. Here Romeo highlights the actual problem with this universe’s FT and not because they are financially struggling, but rather they have no respect and are seen as a second rate guild by the tabloids and big name guilds like Sabertooth.

However, we see another big change with this universe and it is an Azuma who is doing missions for FT. Azuma is now an ally to FT, but not a mage for FT, rather he did work in their time of need after Tenrou was destroyed as a way of paying back Erza, however he is not a member of FT. As Azuma’s sense of honor is why he is working to support FT, but his sense of guilt for what he did to members like Pantherlily, Mira, and Lisanna still haunt him.

I have to imagine Azuma looks different as well given the whole time skip redesign. My image of him is that he has shaved his hair, but kept those two little hair locks in front of his forehead and still has his goatee. Also his outfit having changed, still rocking the baggy pants, but his top resembles loose short-sleeved African-style robes, still with his green and orange color scheme. The biggest change in his appearance he now has a wooden arm that his manipulates with his magic (and this will come into play later) Azuma also now lives in East Forest close to Porlyusica and she doesn’t mind him as he is one with nature, making a hut out of trees with cutting them down and living off self farmed food.

An issue with Azuma being an ally with FT and not a member also crops up as while FT is grateful for what he has done, they are now looked down even more as “outsourcers”. When someone , lets just say Jet, suggests getting rid of Azuma, the person who comes to the defense of Azuma is Laki. Yeah, I wanted to take some time to at least re introduce some of the FT cast who was the background cast, and while guys like Nab having a running gag, Jet and Droy being tied to shadow gear, Macao and Romeo being already helped members of the guild and Max fighting Natsu, there really is nothing to reintroduce Laki except that she is also the other female in the group. So why not give her some tether to a Azuma, and the reason why… Well let’s dive into that later.

Suddenly, all of FT is off with BP who have revealed the re appearance of Tenrou with Azuma also coming along. They all meet and there’s definitely some awkward reunions with FT and Azuma. Erza isn’t quick to jump into forgiveness and Mira is still pissed after the whole almost crushing Lisanna. Laki seems to be the only one who speaks up for all the good Azuma has done and Laxus even states that they should forgive Azuma if they were capable of forgiving him and if what Laki is saying is true then Azuma has done more for the guild than Laxus has. However, while guys like Natsu, Happy, and Gajeel take to Azuma easily, there is still conflict between him and Mira.

We then get an eventual goading into the games as each of the tenrou FT members realize just how outclassed they are now: maybe Natsu meets Sting and Rogue Early and is shaken by learning that they could beat a dragon while he couldn’t, Gray meeting and sparring against Lyon only to discover that he can’t lay a finger on them, Erza seeing Jellal again and feeling how much more power he has now etc (there’s a whole bunch of ways that team tenrou could’ve come to realize how far their star has fallen. This leads into them wanting to train and instead of Ultear just hacking their bodies to grow even stronger, they do actual training. Speaking of Ultear, she knows of Azuma’s involvement with FT, but knows he has no interest in destroying Zeref and rather has something else, which we will get to.

Azuma offers to train team Fairy Tail, putting them through a trial that’ll hopefully make them stronger for the tournament. While this happens, Makarov is able to speak with Azuma and questions why he’s done all this and Azuma reveals he still holds a great respect for Erza and what she has done for him is worth being paid back a hundredfold. He states that he also sees Erza as his one true rival and that he refuses to fight her again till she is at her best, thinking that beating her now would be unsatisfying. This shows Azuma still has some of his old habits like his lust for battle, but now it isn’t the only thing about him. Finally, the GMG comes and all of team FT shine with their own events, however during the end of day one, something very important happens. Erza meets Kagura as well as Azuma. Erza is deeply troubled by meeting Kagura, feeling her enormous power and conviction. Azuma meeting Kagura results in him feeling the same sensation of setting her sights on Erza as he has had.

When Azuma begins to talk to Erza they both discuss her ability and that she can beat Kagura. Erza is still doubtful as Kagura’s sword style is almost the opposite of her magic, this leads to Azuma showing Erza his fake arm and recounts a tale when he first began assisting FT. Remember that Laki loyalty? Well the reason why is in the first few months of helping FT, Azuma was working with only one arm. Laki had followed him and witnessed Azuma’s arc of the Great Tree. Laki really is impressed by the wood magic and reveals her Wood-Make skill. Laki shows him the basis for remaking his arm with his wood. It isn’t crazy as Ur was able to remake her leg from ice. Azuma with his new arm developed a whole new fighting style with his tree arm. The moral of his tale is that what seems like a weakness can lead to developing a whole new skill. Overhearing this is Mirajane who still is uneasy about Azuma.

On the second day, Mira does snap at Azuma when he says the she might want to use her satan soul sitri. Mira wins without the use of sitri (and lets be fair Jenny isn’t that tough). Eventually we get to the dragons where Azuma and Ultear met again killing hatchlings. Ultear knows why Azuma has also helped FT and states that she knows the limit of the arc of the great tree and that’s Azuma will become a tree eventually. Yeah, did you think I forgot about that little limit to Azuma’s magic. This creates Azuma’s goal outside of seeing Erza as a rival and that is he is searching for a way to stop his magic from turning him into a tree.

Eventually GMG ends and we go to Tartarus, but not before a little exchange with Warrod in the Sun Village when Erza mentions that Azuma is a tree mage like Warrod, but when saying Azuma uses arc of the great tree magic specifically, Warrod reveals the sad part of that magic and how after prolonged uses of it it’ll eventually turn him into a tree. Erza, who also fought hatchlings realizes that Azuma’s new style wasn’t only to to regain his arm, but also to limit how much of his magic he uses. As well as there being a double meaning to Azuma’s story of your weakness being turned into a new skill.

Before Tartaros we also might get some lip service as Azuma is off searching for that ability to stop him from becoming a tree and that’s why he doesn’t show up for a while. But it just so happens that when FT is looking for the councillors Azuma is in the same town as Elfman and Lisanna. (Hey plot convenience still exists) Azuma she’s the now Macro controlled Elfman and when trying to stop him, Sayla wants Elfman to defeat Azuma as Sayla flees with Lisanna.

Azuma subdues Elfman, and while he brings him back to FT to warn about Tartaros, there is a bomb dropped on the FT building, but thanks to Cana, everybody is safe. While many go off to fight their own battles, Azuma and Elfman go to save Mira and Lisanna. This leads to Sayla and Lamby fighting the two, but not off the cuff. Sayla offers both Azuma and Elfman chances to join Tartaros as she can take away Azuma’s fear of becoming a tree, but Azuma says he won’t throw away all he’s done with Ft and justifies this by saying that he’s “dying to fight an etherios”. Eventually Mira joins Azuma in fighting Sayla while in Sitri form. Elfman goes to help Lisanna with Lamby, because he won’t lose his little sister again. Azuma and Mira come to terms with each other as they beat and Sayla and this means that all members of FT now forgive Azuma from Tenrou. However, the good times don’t last as After Tartaros, FT is disbanded.

We get to the Avatar arc after one year and Natsu runs across Azuma after a tip he got from Lyon. Why Lyon? Well as a rival to Gray, I think over the one year where Azuma travels to find a way of preventing his magic from turning him into a tree, Lyon and Azuma met and bonded over the rivalries they have with FT members. Now, Azuma is still struggling to figure out how to prevent himself from becoming a tree, but Natsu comes into ask him to become a full fledged member of FT. Azuma says he can’t do that, but Natsu shuts him up and says that everyone forgives Azuma and accepts as well as being together means they could help him search for a cure to his magic. Azuma is silent and Natsu says they need to speak to each other a different way and that’s via a battle. It is short, but ultimately Azuma accepts the offer to joining the new team FT. They also bring back Gray in the assault on Acatar and all that jazz with Ikusa-tsunagi. Azuma is now an FT mage, but still searching for his cure saying if he does find it, he wants to fight Erza.

Azuma doesn’t go to Alvarez to pick up Makarov, but an important event happens with Dimaria’s introduction as Brandish and Dimaria’s banter leads to a small nod about Dimaria being unable to to fully call her magic her own. A little foreshadowing to God soul and possibly something else, perhaps?

Another important moment is the assault lead by Ajeel as Erza’s participation in it is what DImaria takes interest in and sets her sights on DImaria and is why she wants the southern front, because that’s where Erza went. Azuma also ends up in the southern front with Wendy, Gray, Laxus, and Juvia. Also in the south is Lamia Scale so not only do we get a reunion with Wendy and Chelia, but also a small cameo of Lyon and Azuma interacting.

We see, Dimaria killing a bunch of people with her besting Kagura after we see Dimaria drink from an odd liquid. This liquid is odd as she drinks from it right before she attacks. When Dimaria learns that Neinhart lost to Erza she goes after her, but Azuma, Wendy, and Chelia interfere. This leads to the reveal of Chronos and the time stop. Ultear reappears saving the three and states that she became one with time thanks to Last Ages that she used in the GMG arc. Azuma is stunned by this, but the CHronos attacks, who also starts to seem different from the old DImaria. We see Chronos take a swig from that same odd drink and she begins to sound like Dimaria again. Dimaria reveals that god soul is different from other take over as the take over is able to retain its individuality. (We saw  this in the manga with a sudden personality shift from her normal self to more Chronos like in Chronos form) The liquid we’ve seen her drink is actually an element to negate Chronos from fully taking over, saying it was harvested from some rare fruit or lake with the ability to suppress a certain quality of magic.

Chronos wipes the floor with the three, Wendy getting beat to the point she can’t continue. Chelia knows that she stands the best chance, but Chronos is too powerful. Azuma then knows that last ages performed a miracle, at the cost of becoming one is the magic, so Azuma decides to sacrifice all restraint by using all of his Arc of the Great Tree and becoming a tree. When Wendy yells at him over what he is doing the states it’s okay and that if he’s going to die here “He’s going to do it against the most powerful challenge he’s ever faced giving everything he has”.

Super Azuma and Chronos fight and it is big, with tree manipulation and clock hands made of magic flying and explosion. Azuma gets to the point where he knows his limit so he ennares Dimaria in a massive tree trunk piston and has Chelia finish her off with her Sky God power. This works as Dimaria falls, but Azuma slowly becomes a tree. Chelia tries to grab the liquid Dimaria was using to make Azuma human again, but being a spoilsport, Dimaria destroys the liquid and says that Azuma can rot. Azuma becomes a tree, but thanks Fairy Tail for giving him more than he possibly would have wanted. Chelia feels very bad, but during this Wendy says that if Dimaria has been using that liquid for long, then she can go find where it is made in Alvarez and get it.

Wendy tells Azuma to wait, but she goes off to Fight with Irene and uses Azuma’s sacrifice as extra conviction of not wanting anyone else to die her in this war.

Finally, Azuma gets one little cameo as team Lamia Scale is hanging out by his tree form before FT arrives at Hargeon and says they need Fairy Sphere. We get the huge holding hands moment with Meredy even connecting to what is Azuma and in the epilogue we see Wendy and Laki embarking to Alvarez to find a cure for Azuma.

So that’s my idea of what would’ve happen if Azuma had became good. Please, tell me what you thought, and if you would like me to do more stuff like these, let me know. Hope you had fun and I’ll see you next time.

[itsfinancethings]

Patients lie motionless in a hospital ICU ward, as doctors hurry around their beds. The patients’ faces are concealed by ventilators; the doctors’ by masks. The death rate is rising so quickly that doctors can no longer keep count. “The beds don’t even have time to cool before they are taken up by other patients,” says ICU nurse Cristina Pilati. Yet over the sound of stretchers rolling and monitors beeping, Pilati starts singing the lyrics of ‘Angel’ as she cares for a teenage boy in the ICU. ‘Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance,’ she sings. ‘For a break that would make it okay.’

This scene is one of many intimate moments in Inside Italy’s COVID War, a PBS’ FRONTLINE documentary premiering Tuesday that takes us inside a hard-hit hospital in Cremona, a city in northern Italy. Directed by Emmy and BAFTA award-winning filmmaker Sasha Joelle Achilli, who was born and raised in Milan, the film offers one of the first in-depth looks at a hospital battling coronavirus when the crisis hit. Achilli spent several months in West Africa documenting the 2014-2015 Ebola outbreak, but filming the coronavirus pandemic in her native country, where her family still lives, presented new difficulties. “Emotionally, it was really challenging. It feels so much more personal,” she says. “But I feel really privileged that I was able to do that and get more of an understanding of this virus. When you understand something, you are less afraid of it.”

Achilli’s film follows emergency room doctor Francesca Mangiatordi as she navigates COVID-19, caring for her staff, her patients, and her family. Achilli, who now lives in London but traveled to Italy for filming, began shooting in Cremona on March 18, just one day before Italy’s death toll surpassed that of China, becoming the hardest hit country by COVID-19 at the time. More than 32,000 people have died from COVID-19 since the start of the country’s outbreak.

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Italy’s health care system, the first to be hit hard in Europe, was quickly overwhelmed by the surge in cases. In the opening scenes of the documentary, doctors debate whether to give their remaining ventilator to a young or old person. Later in the film, doctors themselves fall ill, remaining quarantined in their homes as case numbers continue to rise throughout the country. The documentary also sheds light on the sacrifices frontline workers are making and the risks they are taking: Mangiatordi’s husband was at higher risk of catching the virus but she stayed working on the front line.

Perhaps what is most powerful yet unsettling about the documentary is that it disrupts one of the prominent narratives surrounding COVID-19: that the young and healthy won’t be severely affected. While young people are less likely to die of COVID-19, they are still susceptible to severe infection of the virus. The documentary follows an 18-year-old boy and a 30-year-old mother of three girls as they fight for their lives. “The next one that tells me it only affects the elderly, I’ll spit in their eye,” Mangiatordi says after a 42 year-old man died of COVID-19.

Achilli was inspired to make the documentary after coming across a photograph Mangiatordi took of an exhausted nurse, Elena Pagliarini, collapsed on her keyboard in early March. Within hours of seeing the photograph, the two women spoke on the phone. Days later, Achilli was filming at the hospital.

Francesca Mangiatordi An exhausted medical worker lays on keyboard. The photograph, taken by Francesca Mangiatordi, inspired Sasha Joelle Achilli to make the documentary Inside Italy’s COVID War.

Achilli spoke with TIME about the making of the film. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Your documentary is the most in-depth and intimate picture of a hospital battling COVID-19 we have so far. What do you hope people take away from it?

My goal has changed from when I first went to Italy. When I first went out, the borders in Europe were closing but the crisis hadn’t erupted yet. Back then, the message was “Italy is 3 weeks ahead of you.” But now we’re all in it. What I want people to get out of this documentary is an understanding of the virus. I want to squash all the conspiracy theories and for people to understand the emotional and psychological impact it has had on health care workers and those severely affected. I want people to realize that while there is no need to panic, there is a severity to this and we need to take the measures seriously. Italy is now coming out of it, hopefully. The cases have gone down massively. And it’s because of the lockdown and the measures that were taken that this is possible. That’s what I hope people get out of it. Especially American audiences, given the protests that are taking place. This is very real.

Because Italy was the first Western country to face a COVID-19 outbreak, many other nations in the West have looked at Italy to predict what the futures of their countries might look like. As someone who watched the outbreak unfold, what do you think the world can learn from Italy’s experience?

The world needed to look at Italy at the beginning. Now, the world is currently living it. Rather than critiquing the Italian draconian measures or the Italian culture of siesta, they should have taken them seriously and not thrown around the idea of herd immunity. If there is a country forcing people to stay home in this way, it means it’s serious. But until you see that every family has been affected by the virus or lost someone to it, until your morgues are completely full and coffins cannot be buried in time—until you see that, people’s behavior will not change.

These kinds of outbreaks are going to keep happening. We need to stop thinking of places as being far away. We are all so connected and way more connected than we like to believe. So when this started to happen in Italy, Europe should have started locking down before it got out of control. The U.S. should have taken it seriously. No one is immune to it.

What are the underreported stories of this crisis?

There was a point where 13% of cases in March in Italy were healthcare workers. Of course healthcare workers did have more access to tests so more of them were getting tested. But the numbers were still high.

I remember having this debate with Francesca and her husband: why did so many of the staff get sick? Part of it is a lack of disinfectant. The ER was never disinfected until three or four weeks into the outbreak. There was no methodology put in place. The hospital isn’t a structure that facilitates infectious disease triage. It’s hard to criticize an entity or a body or blame someone for all these cases in healthcare workers but we need to have structures that can handle highly infectious diseases.

As an Italian journalist who has reported on crises in Africa and the Middle East, what was it like reporting on the front lines of your own country?

Emotionally, it was really challenging. A lot of the stories I’ve done are really, really sad situations that do affect me emotionally. But there is something different about it when you’re covering it in your own country. It feels so much more personal. You know the culture, the language, the shared way of communicating without needing to speak. It just felt so much more personal and at the beginning, so emotionally exhausting in a way that I had not experienced in my career despite working on emotionally trying stories.

I think for me, the worst part was when I landed in Rome and I hadn’t been home since Christmas. I flew in and it was completely empty. It felt like something out of an apocalypse film, where cities are abandoned and people have left. I remember getting to the hotel. I called my boyfriend and just burst into tears because the lockdown hadn’t happened in London yet. Even though I had heard the stories through my family, seeing it and seeing your country—especially Italy which is so lively, where people hug and kiss all the time—to see it so completely empty and with the human interaction completely gone. It just wasn’t Italy. It wasn’t my country. It sounds absurd but that was a huge emotional trigger, almost more than going into a COVID hospital. Because there, I had prepared myself for what I would see. But I hadn’t prepared myself for Rome.

Arianna PaganiA patient lies in the intensive care unit at the Cremona Hospital in Northern Italy.

What was the highlight of the filming experience and what was the most challenging?

The highlight was the life I had with Francesca [Mangiatordi, the ER doctor in the documentary]. She opened her doors to me, completely and entirely. I was living her work life and then going home with her family. It was meeting her and her family and building that relationship as well as with the other nurses. I spoke with Cristina [one of the ICU nurses] the other day and she said “you were part of the family, you lived it with us. You are one of us.” Another highlight was being able to be part of such a big and important story in Italy and having that unique experience of living it on the frontlines with the healthcare workers. I feel really privileged that I was able to do that and get more of an understanding of this virus. When you understand something, you are less afraid of it.

The hardest thing as a journalist reporting on your country is that you become really protective of certain parts of the culture, of the way that people are and of the story you are trying to tell. You are an insider. It’s hard to take a step back and look at it in the same way that you look at other places. I’ve realized it’s a very different kind of storytelling when you know the language and you aren’t an outsider. It was really easy for me to get the level of intimacy that I got. I don’t think that would have been possible in other parts of the world. There’s a beauty about just looking around you and trying to tell the stories that are equally as important—the stories that are next door rather than elsewhere. It was really beautiful and it kind of brought me closer to Italy.

Both you and Francesca Mangiatordi are women working on the frontlines of this pandemic in what can often be quite male-dominated environments. In your experience, how does gender shape what it means to be a frontline worker?

Personally, I’ve often benefited from being a woman. We often have an ability to build better access and relationships with people, especially when it comes to women and children. Women are more likely to open up to women.

I didn’t set out to find a female doctor. I found her through a photo she had taken. And then she sent me her video diaries and I realized that she was incredible. Going to Italy, which can be really misogynistic, I thought I would just find a bunch of old, grumpy Italian men. But instead, I found this hospital filled with feisty young women—and men as well. It was women doing the hard work. There were groups of women transferring bodies on the frontlines of this battle.

I don’t mean to sound cheesy but this group of women on the frontlines—they are carers, they are multitaskers, they can deal with dramatic situations but also be very empathetic and present. That’s what made this group of women so incredible in fighting COVID.

I remember one night at the end of my time there, it was about 3 a.m. and the doctors had pizzas delivered. These doctors and nurses all sat down and started recounting what had happened in the past two months. It was like group therapy. That’s the bond they’ve been able to create with each other. Now, they are helping each other process by reflecting and analyzing it. They are this incredible unit. I think in a way, women often have that ability to talk to each other. We can talk about emotions. And that’s what made these women so strong.

You reported on the Ebola outbreak in West Africa back in 2015, producing the documentary Outbreak that explores the mismanagement of the crisis by both state and international authorities. Do you see similarities between the Ebola epidemic and the current COVID-19 pandemic? And what feels different about this outbreak?

What feels similar is that when it started in China, people thought it was far away. They probably remembered SARS which never really went beyond Asia. Even in talking to doctors like Francesca, they say that when they heard about COVID-19 on the news, they never thought it was going to come to Italy. And that’s exactly what happened in West Africa. There was an outbreak and when it was reported on, people said it was never going to get to the West. It was only when an American doctor got ill that people started paying attention.

The differences are mostly related to how unpredictable this virus is compared to Ebola. Even though Ebola is scarier, I felt like I had more control over not getting it. But with coronavirus, you just don’t know how it’s going to affect you. This is what makes COVID-19 more terrifying and uncontrollable. It’s also not like Ebola where people were hemorrhaging from their eyes. Or in West Africa where you would see people dying out on the street. That’s visually not what we see from COVID-19. That’s made it easy for people to dismiss.

At the beginning, it was the elderly that were highly affected by it. It’s cynical to say but seeing an elderly person unwell is a more acceptable image to many people than a young person. All these factors didn’t help us take the whole thing seriously. I remember a friend of mine in Milan sent me a message saying, “Sasha, I’m not seeing these really dramatic images coming out of hospitals.” People in Italy were questioning the severity of it because they weren’t seeing the drama.

Outbreak warns that the world is not safe from future epidemics. What did it feel like to watch an even bigger outbreak unfold five years after extensively reporting on Ebola?

I think when it started out in China, I was like everyone else. I thought it wouldn’t come here. I was supposed to go on a six months sabbatical traveling with my boyfriend in April. And when COVID-19 reached Italy, naively—even though I was emotionally really affected by what was going on—the borders of the world hadn’t closed yet. Naively, we just thought, we won’t go through Italy and Iran. If I’m being brutally honest here, even having reported on an outbreak in West Africa, it didn’t prepare me for this.

Inside Italy’s COVID War premieres on FRONTLINE (PBS) & begins streaming on YouTube on Tuesday, May 19 at 10 p.m. EST and will be available on pbs.org/frontline at 7 p.m. EST.

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