#Once again have not drawn properly in so long. Posing hard

[wolverineheight]

unburied verse bruce eddie and babs! something something filled homestuck quadrants something something

[itsbasicallycanon]

Hey, it's me againnn! Soo I was wondering, do you do any drawing exercises to improve?? Like any perspective or foreshortening practice? Or just practicing with drawing poses? If so, can you tell me what you do? I seriously need to get better at drawing the anatomy properly. Also, I'm changing my art style yet again and I'm looking for advice :) Thanks <3

Also, I was very proud of what you did with the prompts I sent you. It wasn't what I was expecting from that prompt at all. It was better.

Firstly, thanks for the kind words <333 This is gonna be a ramble but I hope it helps!

Honestly the way I improve the most is just drawing something I know I can't at least once. Like here's some pics where I push my perspective little by little.

They don't always look right so I usually don't finish them but! I draw it once and can easily see what I don't understand about the perspective. From there I usually try to draw it again with a reference cause now I know what I need to look for in the reference, like which shapes or 3d forms go into the thing I'm drawing.

This applies to any concept you struggle to draw btw! Perspective, body types, face shapes, muscles, an animal you've never drawn before. You don't always have to go right back into with a reference handy either- especially since sometimes it's hard to find that exact pose or reference. What I've been doing is just watching my animated media and I tend to take note of how they drew the thing I struggled with. Because I struggled with it, it's a lot easier to notice when they do it my show or comic. Like when someone tells you how hotdogs are made so know you think about it every time you see one.

Well that's the general advice but for more specific things like this one I drew for my friend I simply couldn't fathom how to draw the pose so I used a 3d poser and worked out the shapes.

Just in general I also try to sketch out random poses to hopefully improve my anatomy. Doesn't have but anything elaborate as long as you're understanding the form. Sometimes limbs make no sense so it's good to glance at muscle anatomy. (I use AdoraSketch's website and MagicPoser on iOS.)

But I cannot stress enough, I do this all causally. My progress is been limb by limb. I learn to draw a specific muscle in the arm, learn to draw the jawline from an upward perspective, etc. Typing it all out makes it feel like an art class final but most improvement is subconscious. Probably my biggest advice is to keep drawing what you love. I still can't draw beefy men but my love of Nightwing keeps me crawling back every year or so. Also Laios from Dungeon Meshi. I would not bother half the time if I didn't want to draw my blorbos doing funny stuff.

[edenatday]

So as someone who wants to start with art but also likely has aphantasia do you have any tips for how I could go about drawing something I can't get a reference for?

For example: I wanna draw one of my characters but I cannot for the life of me get anything visual about them onto the screen so I have no reference to go off of, and with no reference I cannot figure out how it properly looks. Might you have any solution for this or atleast know of anywhere I could go to find some?

Oh gosh I appreciate the ask! I wish I had some expert advice but I’ve literally only just figured out I have aphantasia about two days ago lol! So this is poured out of my brain from being an artist for 30 years and my own common sense - you can decide whether it can be trusted haha and sorry it’s not a quick fix either.

The approach that comes to mind is to start building a library of your own so you can start self referencing. But that means initially letting go of that specific idea you have that you can’t find a reference for.

My suggestions are…

Find any pose with a similar body build to your character and use them to sketch your oc so you can practice drawing them in different ways. Then find poses you like regardless of the shape and try “mapping” your oc to that pose. (Such as picking a slim figure and using it as a frame to draw your muscly oc) you’ll be able to fit your oc to any reference, so it’s less vital to find such a specific reference. Don’t be too attached to the concept you’re after you have so you can explore. Looking for one specific reference can be a block, and also not much fun.

In terms of other references to enhance a character, I’d probably start a Pinterest board with outfits and accessories and do lots of little quick studies of them to slowly add more complexity & details. I’ve definitely made the mistake of trying to do all the things all at once and over complicating a lot without doing this kind of work! Start simple and build. I think this is key. Think of it like a puzzle, we have to build all the pieces individually outside our brain bc we can’t put it together on the inside. And like in a game we don’t get all the best weapons and armour at the start, you can upgrade over time.

Having to externalise the visual building blocks others are able to do in their heads, means we have our work cut out for us. But I think there are ways to make it fun and interesting. If they’re a knight, what do they look like commuting to work on a bus reading the newspaper? If they’re a old granny, what do they look like performing the high jump? This will give you an exciting visual library all of your own, you can then start to reference your own work!

Aim to have a toolbox of poses, activities, outfits, scenes etc. Those can be Frankenstein-ed with new external references to develop your work. So it becomes less vital to find that one reference, and more about learning how to build the blocks of your oc through exploration and familiarity.

I haven’t got around to it yet, but I’ve got a list of aphansasia artists to study. Glen Keane is the illustrator for The Little Mermaid. If he can create such an iconic character, so can we! I want to learn from his other aphantasia artists, so I suggest doing the same.

Most of my art is drawn from life or I make my own references specifically to paint from photos, I do a lot of portraits for example. So for me it explains why I’ve longed to do character design or fan art and just been so pants at it and it felt so hard I got 0 reward and gave up. I always return to realism, it doesn’t rely on my inability to internally visualise. Now I know about aphansasia, I can change my approach entirely maybe I’ll attempt some fan art again :)

I’m literally pulling this out of my head off the cuff. So I’d love to know if any other aphansasia artists have similar or better methods they can add to this, this because I am learning anew too.

Any feedback welcome, let’s work this out together :)

[sheltershock]

It occurs to me now that we’re past February 22nd in 2024, which means it’s been an entire year since I started a little fan-comic project… that I never finished. I quit somewhere around June for a number of reasons and I even posted some wips on my blog for it, but I never said anything about stopping. I still have no idea why anyone would reblog those. But even if I didn’t finish it, I think it made me a better artist.

I would set up my phone camera to take my own reference photos, but I didn’t have a tripod or anything so I’d prop it up with things I had on hand and try to get the angle as close as I imagined it. I think drawing poses I was making myself helped. I set my expectations super high though. I’d never done a comic before, even though I wanted this to be really good. I had set that standard for myself. But starting out I didn’t even draw the borders for the panels! I just starting drawing stuff and thought “oh I’d draw the box later.” I figured it out pretty quick, don’t worry. I even drew blueprints of the rooms the characters would be in and drew in little “cameras” to properly visualize how the background would look from specific angles.

I started paying more attention though to comics whenever I’d see them. Seeing how the panels flowed and how they were cut. Mine looked nothing like that but I wasn’t even planning on drawing the boxes so yeah that checks out. I did a second attempt on a different comic that I would have never finished because it would be way too long- but I had more fun coming up with ideas for panel layout. Having the different shapes and flow tell the story. It was cool. I really liked it.

I’d been thinking every couple of months of going back to that comic project, actually finishing it. Once I opened it up and almost immediately died of cringe. The earlier stuff was nowhere on par of the later stuff, so I’d thought I’d have to redo it. But actually, with how terrible the layout is, I’d have to redo the entire thing anyway at the foundation. I like to think I’d make it better.

But I haven’t drawn people in months. I’m scared to honestly. People are complex and complicated, I don’t want things to look bad. And I don’t know how to color, but I want so badly for my stuff to be in color. None of the stuff on my blog is in color, just black and white with no shading or with like a cream aura to it. I’m worried about getting back into drawing again. But I want and have been meaning to. I want to draw my own characters and nice little illustrations and I’ve been wanting to make a new pfp for months. The one I have now is one I had done back in October of 2022 and that took so long because I wanted it to be good.

I want to, I really do. But it’s hard to sit down and knowingly make something that’s going to look horrible in a couple of weeks or even days. It’s not impossible, but it’s hard.

[essskel]

Oh...then I guess I went too harsh on Cdpr. Also I can read eng without problems, is just writing in it is a bit hard. Now I can at least put some (just some) fate in them.

But that still doesn't disprove my point with the whole 'The oppressed minority's are just as bad as their oppressors' thing. Because they did said: 'We were trying to make everything grey' and that's the problem. This is why I don't think they were trying to show how the military propaganda can affect traumatized soldiers, or how the children of fascist's can be subjected to hateful believes. If you take the oppressors's side, you (Geralt) are not trying to change their hateful believes, there's not even an opinion to do it. The game is trying very hard to justify their actions/motivation. Their whole narrative is 'the dude who does racist things is not racist, he has reasons' and not 'the dude who does racist things is not racist and he can furthermore realize how wrong he is'. Roche and Ves are not affected by propaganda because there is no propaganda. The Scoia'tael are terrorists, they actually do terrible things, and they do pose a threat to Roche and Ves's country. I guess saying there's no propaganda at all is a stretch, but the point still stands. What Roche accuses the Scoia'tael of doing - is true and you can see it for yourself. That's why I cited the example with the elves previously.

You can make an argument that in tw1 there was some sort off metaphorical narrative and how through religion you can propagate hateful believes. And Siegfried is the example. You do actually change his mind and go against fascists. But I don't think that's the case in the second game. Could be wrong ofc.

Maybe I'm taking it at face value lmao but that's how it looks like, to me at least. And I'm not trying to argue with you btw! Just clarifying what I failed to explain. But thank you for this discussion, it was very insightful for me! Now I can at least shit less on Cdpr. And sorry again for bothering you...I always try to explain myself in less than 10000 words but always fail and write even more just to get my point across properly.

Ah I see what you're saying about the 'greyness' that CDPR relies so heavily on. The devs go on and on about how no choice is simple and such, but a lot of the time - and especially in the case of TW2 and their Scoia'tael, this just means an overuse of the "Well-Intentioned Extremist" trope (which I'm so tired of):

A villain who has an overall goal which the heroes can appreciate in principle, but whose methods of pursuing said goal (such as mass murder) are problematic; despite any sympathy they may have with their cause, the heroes have no choice but to stop them. (TV tropes)

Perhaps unrelated, but I feel like there are huge parallels to be drawn with the flat writing in Disney's Falcon and the Winter Soldier:

[The villians] have valid goals— they want a world without borders in which newly-declared refugees can easily find homes, / But following [their leaders] bombing of innocent people / [they] appear to be beyond redemption despite [their] initial good intentions. (Source)

Making a group of oppressed people guilty of horrific crimes related to their search for freedom makes violent retaliation against them much more viable in the world of the story, but it's still bad writing, and it's a loophole that will always favor the comfort of the most privileged viewers.

So yes, within the game, the Blue Stripes are fighting terrorists when they face the scoia'tael. But - !!! I think this is only really true if you take Roche's path.

On Roche's path, the Scoia'tael fade to the background by the second half of the game, their (Iorveth's) long-term motivations/internal operations are never truly uncovered, and Roche's role in non-human oppression is not interrogated, not questioned in the way it should be.

However, Iorveth's path does break this down, albeit briefly if you want to get specific about Roche. Once you commit to Iorveth's path, the game takes on a far more sympathetic lens to the Scoia'tael, and when the 'free pontar' project is juxtaposed to the Blue Stripes 'beat nonhumans into submission' operations, things start to feel a lot...idk?? Less Grey? Black and white? I'm thinking of this conversation in particular:

Iorveth (to Geralt on the topic of the Blue Stripes) : These units recruit only those who have nothing left to lose. They're persuaded it's all for a greater good and are spoon-fed dreams of revenge for the death of their loved ones. (Youtube link, jump to 6:08)

Iorveth says outright that the Blue Stripes are violent maniacs committing war crimes based on lies told to them by kings (aka propaganda, but I've overused that word). You have to be pretty deep into his path to get here, it's an optional line, and there's no way of telling if Geralt really agrees with this, but I'm holding onto it because it's evidence that at least one writer was reading Roche the way I do.

So yeah, I agree with you that CDPR was pushing, or at least making a lot of room for a grey or even positive take on the Blue Stripes (which I find reductive even as a concept), but the 'blind tool of the state' narrative that I like to go with is still in there somewhere - but my god do you have to squint.

[bestiesenpai]

Canidae pt2 - Getou Suguru

Oh oh oh, oh here we go, walkin’ talkin’ like you know, I want your pretty little psycho. Oh oh oh, oh here we go, baby strike a pose, I want your pretty little psycho! 14.5k words

part one

Content warningz: pseudo-incest, yandere shit, spanking w/ a belt, dubcon+noncon, (slight) breeding kink, choking, size difference, face fucking, drugging, vouyerism, face slapping, (slight) blood, biting, virginity stuff, (slight) pussy slapping, implied somnophilia, kind of mindbreak at the end? sorry it probably sucks tho

The first thing you notice when you wake up isn’t the heavy drooping of your eyelids as you fight the drugs off still lingering in your veins. It’s not the stark white ceiling contrasted with pastel pink walls, or the fact that you’re surrounded by plushies in a soft bed that’s not yours.

It’s the borderline too tight collar around your neck, a good sized bell attached to it that jingled softly when you moved. Skimming your fingers over it you can feel the metal heart attached to the front as well and with a heavy head, you turn to follow the pastel pink leash attached to the collar, wrapped around one of the posts of the bed frame.

You were too tired to try and unwind it, simply staring at it for what felt like ages as your vision went in and out of focus. Even with the white curtains drawn closed there was still afternoon sunlight peeking in and giving you plenty of light to notice another thing.

This wasn’t the house you ran away from. This wasn’t your childhood room, the shape and size were different. The once familiar sound of cars driving by on the road was no longer there, just the ear ringing silence around you.

It’s unclear how long you laid there, but as the drug wore off more and more, you were able to sit up and take in more of the room. Nothing about it was familiar to you; there was a tiny en suite, you’d never owned this many cute little plushies in your life, and even the desk and trinkets that were under one of the windows wasn’t the same one you’d had.

Looking down at your clothes, you were torn between feeling happy they’d changed you out of what you were wearing or sick that all of them probably saw you naked. You were wearing one of Suguru’s shirts, his scent easily wafting up and surrounding you. It came to just above your knees and the amount of fabric left you swimming and shapeless.

Twiddling your thumbs, all you could do was wait for someone to come home and enter the room. Going by the sunlight it was nearing six pm and you knew Kento never worked overtime.

As if one cue, the front door swung open and muffled voices could be heard, but you knew exactly who they belonged to. Satoru’s loud chatter couldn’t be mistaken, nor the way Suguru laughed. Kento’s low grumble followed, and the three fell silent.

Footsteps clambered up the stairs, no doubt Satoru’s eager feet running to you. There’s the slightest creak of hardwood right outside the door and some hushed whispers, and then the lock is undone and the door swings open.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Suguru grins upon seeing you sitting up in bed, pulling the shirt down farther on your body to cover up your bare legs. They hadn’t put you in any undergarments, not that you were surprised by that fact.

You glared harshly at all three of them, your tail tucked away behind you. Still dressed in their business attire, they didn’t look like three foxes who would murder and kidnap. They looked respectable like any businessman should.

“Don’t give us that look, you’re where you belong.” Kento drawls, undoing his tie as he speaks. He’s tired, you can tell by the subtle bags under his eyes. Usually when he came over after work with Suguru, he’d silently cuddle up to you on the couch and lean his head on your shoulder, taking a nap as you played on your phone.

“N-no...no I’m not.” Tongue still feeling heavy from disuse, you slurred the words out. Satoru chuckled at you, hiding his laugh behind a few long fingers.

“You sound so cute, little sister! It makes me want to drug you again.”

“Ah, that’s right! Speaking of drugging, you need to apologize to Toru-nii.” Suguru pipes up, snapping his fingers like he’d just had an epiphany. “It wasn’t very nice that you drugged him, you know.”

“Don’t care.” Shaking your head, you turned away from them. Compliancy wasn’t something you were going to give easily, especially not so quickly. Humming softly, Satoru walked to the bed and sunk his knee down next to your leg, the mattress effortlessly dipping with his weight.

“Such a naughty kitty, aren’t you? Can’t even apologize to your big brother.” Hooking his finger through the front of the collar, Satoru yanked your head up and towards him. His fluffy white hair fell into his eyes, obscuring the deranged look he had. Forcing you to sit up a little straighter, he pushed a clawed finger into your mouth and pulled your cheek out.

“-top!” You tried to bite down on his finger but it was no use. Satoru shook your head, the wet gushy sound of your cheek slapping against your gums resonating in the room.

“Say you’re sorry and I will.” Letting go of the collar, he put two fingers into your mouth, skimming over your sharp teeth and pressing down on the back of your tongue. “Say ‘sorry Toru-nii’.” He mocked you in a high pitched voice. He knew you couldn’t speak properly and that just delighted him further.

Drool began to spill out of your mouth the more he played with you, pushing his fingers far enough to make you choke on them. Grabbing the tip of your tongue with his claws, he pulled it out of your mouth and leaned forward, spitting into your open mouth with practiced ease.

“You’ll apologize sooner or later.” Letting you go, Satoru stepped off the bed and to where he was previously standing, fingers glistening with your saliva.

“Are you hungry?” Suguru asked. His expression hadn’t changed during the whole exchange, just watching gleefully from the sidelines.

“No.” Your angry eyes flicked to Satoru for a moment before settling onto the floor.

“You will be.” Kento sighed. He’d fully shrugged his suit jacket off, both it and his tie in the crook of his elbow. “I’ll make dinner.” Leaving without another word, Satoru followed suit, leaving just you and Suguru.

Rocking back and forth on his heels, Suguru has the nerve to have an air of innocence around him. Twiddling his thumbs like an embarrassed high schooler about to confess, he bites his lip when he looks at you.

“I’m glad to have you back.” He says, just barely able to hide the bursting happiness in his chest. He doesn’t recoil at the glare you send him, his smile only gets bigger. “You’re so cute when you’re mad, you know.”

He takes a step forward, and your lip curls in anger.

Another step, and you scurry to the back of the bed, against the wall and plushies.

You’re fully hissing by the time his legs press against the bed. Fingers curled, you’re ready to swipe at him if he tries to grab you and you watch him closely as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“You never used to hiss at me...did something happen while you were away?” Pouting at you, Suguru fiddles with the blanket. Even with his supposedly relaxed demeanor, you can see the way his arms are flexing beneath his clothes.

His arm slowly reaches out to you, just grazing the skin on your legs before you tuck them under yourself. Trying again to grab onto your leg, Suguru does startle a little when your hand comes down and you swipe your claws on the back of it.

“That’s not very nice.” His skin is pebbling red and there’s a few dots of blood on his skin. Shaking his head, Suguru stands up and rubs the back of his hand, giving you a disappointed look.

There’s a mumble of Kento-nii as Suguru turns on his heels and leaves the room, closing the door and locking it with a soft click. Still on edge from the encounter, you don’t uncoil yourself until you hear Satoru and Suguru downstairs and the clinking of dishes.

The sun is completely down when someone visits you again. Your stomach has started to growl, but it’s a dull ache that you can manage to ignore for now. Trying not to appear too eager at who it might be, you only look at who enters through the corner of your eye.

Kento walks in with his styled hair tousled, like he’d been running his fingers through it a few good times. It’s not often you see him in casual clothes, but now he’s in gray sweatpants and a fitted t-shirt.

You stay perfectly still as he flicks a lamp on and takes a seat on the bed. There’s something clenched in his fist and you can’t see what. The wide expanse of his back is intimidating, getting larger with every deep and even breath he takes.

“I saw you scratched Suguru.” Kento finally breaks the silence between you and finally uncurls his fist to reveal the brown leather belt in his hands. It looks like the one he had on just a couple hours ago.

“K-kento-”

“And you still haven’t apologized to Gojo. Are you going to take your punishment like a good girl, or do you still want to be difficult?” With a sidelong glance, he doesn’t give you much time to consider. Reaching over, he grabs the collar by the metal and tugs you onto your hands and knees to face him.

His eyes dip down to the front of the shirt that’s drooped considerably off your frame, exposing your breasts to him. Tearing his eyes away, Kento unhooks the leash and forces you to lay across his lap, ass perched up as your stomach digs into the tops of his thighs.

“Kento-nii…” You whine high in the back of your throat, fingers curling around the blanket in fearful anticipation of the pain about to come. Kento doesn’t say anything, wordlessly pushing up the shirt until it’s pooling on your mid-back.

“You have to count them or I’ll start over.” Smoothing his hands over your ass, he curls your tail around his fingers and runs it through them.

“No, please.” Trying to shuffle out of his lap only earns you a hard smack on the ass from his hand. “Ow!” Lurching forward, you nearly slide off him and onto the floor before he catches you by the hips and puts you back in place.

“You don’t get to say no to this.” Kento almost sounds angry, the usual apathetic tone in his voice slipping away. Wrapping the belt securely around his hands, Kento delivers the first smack swiftly, his other hand making sure to hold you in place.

“Ow!”

“What do you say?” There’s already tears brimming in your lashes and you’re struggling for the words, and Kento spanks you again. “Don’t test me, kitty.”

“One!” You shout, looking over your shoulder at him pathetically. “K-kento-nii, I-” He cuts you off with another spank, quirking his brow as he waits for you to speak. “T-two.”

“So you can follow directions.” There’s a barely there roll of his eyes and he does it again, giving you two smacks in a row.

“Three, four.” Dropping your head to the mattress, your voice warbles as you continue to count. There’s no method to how Kento spanks you, sometimes doing multiple in a row and spreading them out over your ass and the tops of your thighs.

“That makes twenty and we only had to start over twice.” Kento is pleased with the achievement and there’s a soft smile on his face as he watches you sob into the mattress. Letting go of you, he unwraps the belt from his hand and rubs his palm over your hot, stinging skin.

His hand squeezes the aggravated flesh, digging the tips of his claws into the growing welts in your skin. Pushing apart your shaking legs, Kento runs a finger through your slit, the tip of his claw grazing your opening making you clench around nothing.

“Maybe I could give you a reward for being such a good girl.” He’s speaking to himself at this point, you’re too distraught to listen or care. You just let your thighs be pushed to accommodate the size of his hand between them.

Finding your clit, Kento presses firmly on the bud, circling his finger around and gauging your reaction. He holds his breath to hear even the slightest moan or whine from you that’s not out of pain, and even though you don’t want to, you give it to him.

The lingering pain in your body has clouded your mind, confused you to what other feelings you should be having in this moment. The pleasure Kento is giving you, rubbing your clit quickly with two fingers, is a feeling you greedily drink up.

Arching your back, you turn your head to look at him. Kento catches your gaze, raising his other hand to cup your cheek and wipe your tears away with his thumb. Even though he’d just inflicted so much pain on you, the tenderness he showed now had you reeling.

“What a good little sister.” He coos as you cum with a few hiccuping moans. His fingers slow down as your body relaxes but he doesn’t fully withdraw his hand from your cunt. Swirling his fingers around and collecting your release, he brings them to his mouth and sucks them clean.

“Kento-nii.” Wiping your eyes childishly, you groan as he moves you off his lap and back onto the bed.

“Sshh, I’ll bring you dinner.” Giving you a kiss on the forehead, Kento grabs the discarded belt and leaves the room. Laying alone in the bed, you try to calm your racing heart and the hiccupped cry that just won’t seem to stop.

When Kento returns, he feeds you slowly. His cooking has never been one to disappoint and you gladly devour it, the warmth spreading in your belly pushing you to fully calm down. Rubbing his hand on your back, Kento calls you little sister freely and tells you about his day at the office. It’s almost like before, when he’d seat you on his lap while he was having a late night cup of tea and talk to you about how boring working was.

“Love you.” Kissing both your cheeks, Kento leaves almost thirty minutes after your plate is cleared. He’s rubbed lotion on your skin, not apologizing for his actions but helping you feel better about them.

There isn’t a clock on the wall but you can tell it’s late at night. You were engulfed in darkness now, Kento having turned the light off before he left. Crawling under the blankets, you’re tired after your punishment.

The sliding of the lock pricks the edges of your senses and you hold your breath. You already know who it is that’s coming to see you. Old habits die hard, especially when you make no move to break them.

“Sugu-nii.” You whine in protest, already shuffling over to make room for the large fox. Closing the door softly, he’s practically vibrating with happiness as he climbs into your bed.

“I heard you took your punishment well.” Wrapping his arm around your middle, Suguru forces you to turn over and face him. With the weight of his arm back around your waist, it’s like nothing has changed. It’s just like before when he’d crawl into your bed after a long night of studying and pass out.

“Yeah.” Too tired to truly put up a fight, you keep your eyes closed. You can find solace in the darkness behind your eyelids, not your older brother staring at you and grinning like a fool.

“Good girl.” Pulling you closer, you can feel his breath fanning against your lips before he kisses you. He’s never kissed you fully on the lips before and it has your eyes widening in shock.

“Sugu, wait-” Pushing against his cheek, you break the kiss for only a second before he’s pushing you to lay on your back. The pressure from the bed on your sore backside has you scrambling. “Ow, please not there.”

His face says it all, whatever plan he has in his head is working just like he wants. With a knowing grin, Suguru lays on his back and hauls you to lay on top of him. Pushing his hands under your shirt, he cups your ass softly, barely laying his hands on the still angry skin.

“Kiss me.” He whispers into the dark, easily finding your lips again. Kissing you softly, the swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip makes you purse your lips together tighter. Pinching right on a welt, Suguru shoves his tongue into your mouth when you yelp.

You can feel his sharp teeth grazing your lips and bumping into your own teeth as he pushes his tongue in, invading your mouth and claiming it for himself. His heart is beating hard underneath you, his tail lazily slapping against the bed.

His hands skim down your legs, parting them and wrapping them around his hips. In only a pair of loose sweats, you can clearly feel the bulge of his cock in them. It only takes one uncomfortable shift of your body to have him rocking up against you.

“Little sister…” He sighs against your mouth, pecking the corner. Planting a firmer grip on your hips, Suguru pushes his feet into the mattress and begins to hump you, soft pants falling from his mouth.

“Sugu-nii, stop.” You whine, balling your fists and gripping his clothes as he moves you. Dragging your sex against the front of his pants, the fabric brings rough friction on your clit, making you wet despite yourself.

Suguru ignores your little whimpers telling him to stop, they only spur him on if anything. Stopping for just a moment, he yanks his sweats down his thighs so you can hump against his underwear.

“Fuck-” Suguru nearly shouts the word. He can feel the heat from your cunt on his clothed cock, your lips molding around the shape of him without him having to do much. Throwing his head back into the pillow, Suguru sets a steady rhythm.

Dropping your head into the crook of his neck you squeeze your eyes closed, a shameful burn washing over you the same time pleasure shoots up your spine. You shouldn’t be enjoying this, he was your kidnapper, your adoptive brother, and yet here you were moving your hips in tandem with his.

“I love you.” Suguru says breathlessly, his voice tilting into a high whine at the end. “God, I love you so fucking much.” The bed is creaking loudly underneath him and you just know the other two can hear as well. “J-just wanna- I’m gonna breed you-”

“Sugu-nii, we can’t.” It wasn’t possible between you two, the difference in biology was too great. But Suguru didn’t care, as evident as him thrashing his head against the pillow.

“Yes! We- we can! I’m gonna breed you! My little...little sister.” One of his hands comes up to hold the back of your head against him, raking his nails against your scalp almost lovingly. “I love you so much I want you to have my- my-” He can’t even get the words out anymore.

But it’s not like you can really hear him over the sounds of your own whines, the bed creaking and his incessant panting. Your thighs are starting to burn the longer you go on, but chasing your high has made you delirious, pushing through it to get something nice out of this.

It only takes a few more drags of your clit against him to get you to cum, your balled up fists beating against his chest a little as you do. Suguru keeps going, a sobbing moan racking his chest as he hears you cum.

“So beautiful- m’little sister so perfect.” His words are slurred and his hips are moving overtime trying to prolong the moment. But he can’t stave off his orgasm any longer and it hits him like a train.

A few loud choking gasps fall from Suguru as his whole body tenses up and you feel the warm rush of cum shooting out of him and seeping into his underwear. He’s holding you so tightly it’s like he’s going to break every bone in your body.

When he finally calms down, you can hear him crying softly.

“Sugu-nii…” Pulling your head away, it’s shocking to see the display of emotion on his face. There’s a gentle stream of tears from both eyes, his lips quivering violently as he looks at you with so much adoration it makes your heart ache.

“I’m sorry, I just- I missed you so much.” Rubbing the back of your head now, Suguru sniffles childishly.

“Sugu-nii, don’t cry.” It’s unknown what possesses you to do this, but you lift a hand and wipe his tears away gently. For as long as you’ve known him, your brother has never cried in front of you. There had been times where you heard him crying after a particularly hard day at university or if he got physically injured, but you never saw it.

“Don’t cry, please, it’s okay.” Whispering into the dark, you kiss the corner of his lip and then his damp cheek. He chuckles through his crying, catching the hand still wiping his face.

“I should be doing that to you, not the other way around.” Lacing your fingers together, Suguru kisses your hand. Taking a few deep breaths, he slowly pushes you off of him and sits up. “I’ll go get cleaned up.”

Silently, you watch him leave the room. The sheets are hot from the friction your bodies had created and you’re suddenly aware of the light layer of sweat sticking to your skin. The distant sound of a faucet running can be heard as you fix the pillows and blankets.

Suguru comes back a few minutes later, tears dry and in a new pair of underwear. Immediately cuddling up to you as he lays back down, he sighs contently and rests his hand right above the curve of your ass, playing with your tail between his fingers.

“I love you so much, (Y/N).” He whispers into your ear, giving a kiss at the base of it. You can’t find the words to say back to him, you’re not sure what would happen if you said them and you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t mean them if you did, so instead you push your head into his chest and hum.

“Goodnight, Sugu-nii.”

“Goodnight my love.”

When you wake up in the morning, you’re alone. There’s not a sound in the house, not even the creak of floorboards downstairs to alert you to someone else's presence. Your collar is still on as tight as ever, the leash hooked onto it and wrapped around the bed post again.

Sitting up on your elbows, there’s a note on the bedside table waiting for you. It’s folded up so neatly you can tell Kento left it.

‘Gojo will be by at lunch. Be good.��

His handwriting is crisp and neat, the last two words punctuated with a bold underline. There’s a threat behind those words, one that your body still remembers from the other day. Folding the note back up you put it where it was left and hobble to your feet.

First trying the door, it’s unsurprising that it’s locked. Jiggling it a few times does nothing but rumble the frame. Quickly giving up, you set your sights on the rest of the room. The desk is a brand new pristine white, the chair a plush pink little number should you ever choose to sit on it.

There’s a few knick knacks from your old room, things you recognize surrounded by a sea of unfamiliarity. The drawers of the desk are empty, not even a single pencil left for you to play with.

Trying the windows next, they’re locked just as tightly as the door is. Looking down at the backyard, it’s pretty spacious with fresh cut grass and some lawn furniture spread out. The second window sees out to the quiet suburban street below where not a single person is walking by.

This isn’t just not the house you grew up in, the whole neighborhood is foreign to you. The street signs you can see aren’t registering in your head, no location is coming to mind when you read them. Suguru said he was taking you home, but where exactly is that?

Left with little choice, you pace back and forth in the room. There’s nothing here to really entertain you, just an obscene amount of plushies and some frilly clothes in the wardrobe.

“(Y/N), I’m here!” Satoru shouts as he opens the door. He always loved announcing his presence to you because he’d trained you to come running and hug him tightly whenever he came over to the house.

You still felt that urge today, walking closer to the door in anticipation before catching yourself and lightly slapping your cheeks. It was embarrassing that they’d managed to instill such behavior in you so well that it pervades your mind even now.

Waiting by the window, your skin tingles with goosebumps when Satoru opens the door. Dressed in what he called ‘boring business attire’ Satoru sauntered in and swiftly closed the door.

“How is my little sister today?” He cooed at you like you were a baby, wiggling his fingers cutely. His eyes flick to your collar, absent of it’s leash, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Fine.” Shuffling awkwardly on your feet, you don’t know what to say. Usually you’d be hugging him right now, asking how his day at the office was and if he wanted to play a video game with you before dinner.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes.” Answering him quietly, you expect him to leave the room to go get food, or maybe take you with him to the kitchen. But Satoru is just standing there with his fluffy white tail swinging back and forth, his sunglasses perched atop his head. “What?”

“Don’t you have something to say to me?” He asks, raising a brow and waiting for you.

“What-” You’d almost forgotten about drugging him, but as you take a step back and your ass grazes the wall, you’re suddenly reminded. Satoru grins when your eyes raise a fraction and he waits smugly.

“Go on, say it.” He’s got an easy smile on his face, yet the way his body is tensed up is giving another signal.

“I…” Swallowing thickly, the longer you looked at Satoru the more you were reminded of the things he said at the club and how nonchalant he was about describing your parents murder. Biting your lip, you shook your head and his tail drooped.

“Hm, you won’t?” Tilting his head with a hum, Satoru looked you up and down. “I’ll give you another chance, kitty. Apologize to me or I might just have to take what I want.”

“No.” Shaking your head again sealed your fate.

“You really are something.”  Backing you fully up against the wall, Satoru pushed his chest against you and smacked his hand down on the wall next to your head. A thick silence settles between you as your breath mingles. The goosebumps on your flesh prick harder now out of fear and your hands come up in front of you to try and keep some semblance of personal space.

“Toru-nii!” You gasp as his other hand comes up to rest heavily at the base of your throat, pushing the collar up so his fingers can wrap around your neck. Satoru chuckles darkly, his sharp teeth poking out from behind his lips.

“You always did sound cute when you were afraid.” Satoru loved to make you watch scary movies with him just to hear you whine and complain in his lap. His hand squeezes your throat lightly, just enough pressure to make you squirm uncomfortably.

Shoving his knee between your legs, Satoru presses his thigh firmly against your sex. Taking off his glasses and tossing them onto the desk, he leans down and kisses you, immediately sinking his teeth into your lower lip.

“Toru-nii, that hurts.” You manage to pull your mouth away from him just long enough to feel the metallic tang of blood on the tip of your tongue. Grunting in reply, Satoru forces your mouth on his again, lapping at your irritated lip before pushing past it and tangling his tongue with yours.

Overtaking your senses, you struggle to keep upright. Between the jerky movements of his thigh between your legs and the sheer volume of his upper body leaning over you, it’s too much to take in. Pushing against his chest to try and create distance between you doesn’t work, and Satoru smacks your hands away.

“You’re gonna make it up to me, little sister.” Satoru’s tone of voice scares you, makes your ears stand on end from how low it is. His eyes are clouded over with lust and something else just beneath the surface, something that makes your knees lock up.

“What’re you-” Stumbling forward as he moves back, Satoru stops you from falling by catching you by the collar.

“Since you won’t apologize with words there’s something else you can do.” Flashing you a sadistic grin, Satoru all but tosses you onto the floor and leaves you there. Taking a seat on the bed with his legs stretched out onto the floor, he leans back on his hands and looks at you.

He’s looking at you expectantly with a bulge in his pants that’s impossible to miss or ignore. Flicking his chin down towards it, he has to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling even bigger when you fumble to stand on your knees.

“C’mere little kitty, I know you know what I want.” Satoru hooks his finger at you, beckoning you closer. There’s no amount of pitiful looks or desperate little whimpers you can give him that will change the situation you’re in, and making him wait too long would only end badly.

Biting your tongue, you crawl to him and sit between his open legs. Resting your hands on his thighs, you rub up and down to try and soothe the nervousness in you.

“I’ve never...done this before, Toru-nii.” It truly was your first time, Suguru had made sure of it. He stopped any potential romances you ever could have had, even ones where you didn’t see any romantic potential yourself.

“Don’t worry, I’m a great teacher.” Taking one of your hands off his leg and onto the front of his pants, Satoru doesn’t need to tell you to undo them. Shimmying his pants down his thighs, Satoru lets his cock free as well.

As soon as it’s out, it slaps against his stomach. Already dripping precum, the length makes you swallow thickly. There’s a trim patch of white hair at the top of his pubic bone and his cock is the same color as the rest of him, only the tip is a nice rouge.

“Go ahead little sister, take a lick.” Satoru grabs your jaw, already impatient and rushing you to put your mouth to use.

“Okay, okay.” You can’t shrink out of his hold, his claws dig into your skin too much. Bracing yourself on his thighs, you let your tongue loll out of your mouth and flick the tip of his cock.

There’s an immediate reaction to your action: Satoru twitches and his cock jumps, bouncing against your lip as his stomach contracts. It feels kind of good to know that such a small thing made him react that way, and it bolsters you with enough confidence to do it again.

“Now open your mouth a little more and suck on the tip.” Letting go of your jaw, he leans back to watch you work. Nodding, you do as you’re told and open your mouth. Taking the tip of his cock past your lips, you know enough to keep your teeth away.

Hollowing your cheeks, you keep your eyes locked on Satoru’s face to see his reaction as you suck. Your tongue rests against the tip, the unfamiliar taste of his precum coating the slimy muscle and making drool pool in your mouth.

“Take a little more in baby, it won’t hurt you.” He says it so gently, rubbing a hand at the base of your ears, that it almost feels like you two are dating. With an encouraging hum, Satoru helps you go down on him, putting a little more in your mouth until his length fills you and you have to stop him from hitting your throat.

“Shit, is that all you can take?” Satoru grunts and it’s unclear whether he’s happy about it or not. You don’t even have half his cock in your mouth yet and you already have to stop, reminding yourself to swallow so you don’t soak him completely in saliva.

Sitting up a little, Satoru quickly grabs something from his back pocket with his free hand: his phone. Pushing you down as you try to remove your mouth from him, you can’t stop him from taking a few pictures of you in the compromising position.

“Toru-nii, don’t!” He finally lets you up after a bit of struggling and you immediately try to take his phone away. “D-don’t take pictures of me!”

“But I want to save the memories.” He whines like a child, taking a few more and then tossing the device onto the bed.

“Delete them!” Reaching for the phone, you barely get a few centimeters towards it and Satoru is grabbing both your hands and pinning them to the mattress.

“Do what I tell you and maybe I will.” He squeezes your hands in a crushing hold for a few seconds before letting them go. Your fingers throb painfully but you have no time to soothe them; Satoru is already dragging you back to his cock.

You give him a lasting look before putting your mouth back on him, sucking the length of his cock you can fit comfortably in your mouth. Resting your hands at the base of his cock, you were content with the pace you set.

But Satoru wasn’t. He quickly grew bored of only seeing you take half of his cock. Grabbing his phone in one hand, he angled it down to your face as he put the other hand behind your head.

“C’mon little sis, you can do better than that, can’t you?” He asks softly, starting to push your head further down, the tip of his cock hitting your throat and trying to push past it. You start choking immediately, nostrils flaring as you try to pull away and breathe properly.

Satoru keeps a firm grip on your head however, only letting you get a few inches of reprieve before he pushes down again. Unused to the sensation you’re already feeling lightheaded, barely remembering to breathe through your nose.

“Be a good girl for me.” Satoru huffs, forcing you up and down his cock much faster than before. Unhinging your jaw doesn’t let much air flow into your mouth, if anything it only makes him go faster.

Tears blur your vision and drip down your face in messy lines, snot beginning to materialize at your nose. Satoru doesn’t take notice of the way your claws are digging into his skin, either that or he just doesn’t care. He especially doesn’t care after he forces his cock as far as it’ll go and you start to beat on his thighs.

“Fuck-” Drawing out the word, Satoru nearly drops his phone from the ripple of pleasure going up his spine. The click of your throat against the tip of his cock is enough to make him think he’ll cum early. “Kitty, you won’t mind if I…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, only leans over and props his phone on the nightstand. The blurry outline of you and him shines on the screen, and you'd knock the phone down if you weren’t struggling to focus on breathing. With both hands free, Satoru holds your head with both hands and sits up properly, back slightly bowing so he can look down on you.

The first thrust up into your mouth takes you by bitter surprise and your stomach lurches in turn, the fear of potentially vomiting on Satoru coming to the forefront of your mind. The second thrust, you still aren’t prepared for and just barely keep yourself from clamping your teeth down onto his cock.

By the third thrust you’ve learned to give up what little control you’re trying to salvage. Letting your mouth hang open, you can’t care anymore about soaking the front of Satoru’s pants in your spit. All you can think about is breathing, no matter how hard that might be.

“Fuck, what a- a good girl you are.” Satoru can barely breathe himself, but for a different reason. His stomach is tight, all the muscles in his body are tensed painfully as he fucks your mouth. This is something he’s been dreaming about ever since he met you, ever since you sat on his lap for the first time and told him how much you loved big brother Toru-nii.

The strain in your neck is nearly as bad as your jaw as Satoru uses you for his own gain. Your fingers are cramping as they continue to dig into his thighs, the smooth expanse of skin threatening to break from how hard you're gripping him.

“Shit-” Cursing angrily, Satoru holds you down on his cock. There’s no warning from him as he shoots cum down your throat, only slight thrusts up as he does it. You have no choice but to swallow it all, the motions of your throat making Satoru grind into you a bit more.

As soon as Satoru lets you go, you’re collapsing onto the ground and gasping for air. Throat fucked completely raw, you can’t even make a sound as you sob and try to wipe away the snot that’s dripped down your face.

“Made me cum so quick, are you sure this is your first time?” Satoru jokes, tucking himself back into his pants and standing up. Looking down at your crying form, Satoru doesn’t have a lick of remorse on his face.

“T-tor-” Trying to speak is far too painful and Satoru grins at your inability to do it. Scooping you up under the armpits, he pulls you onto the bed with a pleased hum.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you just said sorry.”

“M’sorry.” It’s too late now, far too late, but you still say it and Satoru still grins at you.

“I know you are.” Kissing you on the forehead, he stands up and walks to the door. “See you after work, little sis.” Waving goodbye over his shoulder, Satoru leaves the room. Too upset to care about the rumble in your empty stomach, you turn to face the wall and sleep off what just happened.

You don’t wake until there’s a tugging on your collar. Opening up puffy, bloodshot eyes, they follow the line of the leash up to who’s holding it.

“Sugu-nii?” Letting yourself get pulled up and out of bed, the light of the hallway burns your eyes when you enter it.

“It’s time for dinner.” He hums, playing with the leash between his fingers. “Since you were so good for Toru-nii, I thought it’d be a nice reward for you to eat with all of us.” Taking a pause, Suguru looks at you over his shoulder. “Wouldn’t that be nice, (Y/N)?”

“Yes.” Your voice is still a little rough and your hand flies up to rub at your throat. Suguru doesn’t say anything, only chuckles under his breath. Leading you down the stairs, he keeps a tight hold on the leash as you go from the bottom step to the dining table.

Kento and Satoru are already there, Satoru waiting at the set table while Kento does a few finishing touches on dinner in a plain black apron. There are only three chairs at the table, and Satoru doesn’t offer to have you sit on his lap.

“Where do I…” You trail off, looking at everyone in the room as they avoid your curious gaze.

“You’ll sit on the floor until you prove you’re a good girl.” Kento is the one to answer your question as he sets the last of the food on the table.

“But-”

“Don’t argue. Only good little girls get to sit at the table, and you’ve yet to prove you can be good.” His voice is firm, dripping with authority that you wouldn’t have dreamed of challenging before.

“Kento-nii, I-”

The rebuttal you had was snatched away by the sharp yank of the leash, cutting your air off as Suguru pulled high up by his head.

“Little kitty, listen to your big brother please.” He sang the words but the way Suguru was looking at you and choking you with the collar told his true nature. Loosening his hold once he was sure you wouldn’t speak again, Suguru led you to a corner of the wall by the table where a cushion was waiting for you.

They were at least nice enough to give you a plate and utensils instead of making you eat out of a dog bowl like Satoru jokingly suggested. None of them addressed you as the meal progressed, not sparing you a single glance or second thought.

Your plate was cleared long before theirs and although you wanted to get up and put your plate away, maybe attempt to either go back to your room or slide into the conversation, you sat completely still on the cushion, fiddling with the edges of it and simply waiting.

“(Y/N).” Kento snapped his fingers, catching your attention as he stood up. “Help me with the dishes.” Standing up slowly, you gathered the empty plates Kento put into your hands and walked to the sink.

You only stood alone at the sink for a few minutes, filling the sink with hot water over the dishes and gathering soap on the sponge, before Kento came and slinked in behind you. Putting his arms around you, he slid his fingers through yours and held them tightly under the water.

“Missed you.” He whispered in your ear, laying his cheek atop your head and nuzzling into you. His whole body wrapped around you, his chest greatly expanding with air as he inhaled your scent and rocked you slightly. “Everything will go back to normal soon, promise.” You weren’t sure if he was saying that for you or for him, but you didn’t get the chance to answer.

“Aw, look at you being all soft.” Satoru giggled behind you, going up to the fridge and grabbing two beers.

“Fuck off.” Kento growled, whipping his head around to glare at the intruder. Slinking away with a vicious giggle, Satoru could be heard talking to Suguru about what he just saw. Heaving an annoyed sigh, Kento unwound one hand from yours and started to clean the dishes.

Working quietly together, Kento kept himself pressed against you the entire time. He didn’t speak much, occasionally giving you a kiss on the head or taking a dirty pan from you to leave it to soak. When the sink was clear and your fingers were properly wrinkled, he stepped back and grabbed the leash you’d managed to forget about.

Following him out of the kitchen, you glanced at Satoru and Suguru sitting together on the couch playing some game you could never quite get the hang of no matter how many times they tried to teach you.

“Oh, time for a bath already.” Suguru glanced at the two of you and tossed his controller onto the couch. Standing up and cracking a few bones, Suguru took the leash from Kento and led you up the stairs.

Ever since Suguru’s interest in you turned more obsessive, bathing yourself became something you grew to detest. He would often find some way to barge in while you were taking a shower, trying to sneak peeks at your naked body all lathered up and sometimes trying to join you. Even after locking the door, he still found ways to pick it when he could and leer at you through the crack in the door, and you were pretty sure he installed a few hidden cameras as well. And during the times he didn’t actively snoop on you, he would be waiting in your room for you to come in clad in only a towel.

This time was no different. There was already a clean towel waiting for you in the bathroom, and your favorite products all lined up on the counter that Suguru was leaning on. Unclipping the leash, he was gentle in undoing the collar.

“Would you rather take a bath or a shower?” He whispered, already grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it off.

“Bath.” Folding your arms over your chest did little to truly preserve your modesty, but it was better than nothing. Nodding, Suguru turned the tap on and the roar of the water filled the air. For a brief moment, you hoped he would just be content with sitting on the closed toilet lid and watching you, but you should have known better.

As the tub was filling up, Suguru began to take his clothes off as well, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Steam clouded in the air, making the fur of your tail and ears damp and clump together.

“I got you something from that store you really like.” Suguru digs into the medicine cabinet for a moment, pulling out a deep purple bath bomb with specks of gold glitter. He grins widely at you before dropping it into the tub where it sinks to the bottom with a ‘thunk’.

When the bath is full enough and the powder halfway dissolved, Suguru nudges you gently into the tub. You’ve tried to stay out of his line of sight as the water poured into the tub, but now you were on full display as you climbed in and he followed suit.

Holding your breath, Suguru climbs in after you. His fluffy tail immediately soaked up the water, the fur getting weighed down and heavy. Pulling you flush against his open legs, you can feel his soft cock resting on your lower back.

“Isn’t this nice?” Suguru whispers, the only sound to offset the silence is the occasional drip from the faucet. Swishing the purple water between his fingers, Suguru wraps an arm just under your breasts.

The gold glitter sticks to your fingers when you move them through the water and bring them up to the surface. The scent of the bath bomb is nice enough, truly one of your favorites, but it didn’t bring you any peace like it usually did.

You couldn’t relax and Suguru could tell. You refused to lean your back onto his chest, and whenever he tried to intertwine your fingers together you slipped out of his grasp. Leaning your head away from him, the water just barely brushed your collarbones.

“You’re awfully quiet, little sister. Something on your mind?” Running a wet hand down your back, Suguru lets his claws graze your skin and leave goosebumps.

“No.” The word slips from your mouth and for a moment you’re not sure he heard you because there’s no immediate response. But Suguru is always listening to you and he definitely heard you.

“Hm, then why don’t you try and relax?” The arm under your breasts tightens and Suguru yanks you effortlessly back onto him. Pushing your head to lay on his chest, Suguru peers over your shoulder down the expanse of your naked body.

“Stop.” Scrambling to clench your legs closed and cover yourself, the heat from the water only adds to the burn in your cheeks.

“Shouldn’t I get to see how my little sister grew up? You’ve become quite beautiful, you know.” His other hand rests on your knee, fingers splaying out and, if he really tried, he could wrap almost your entire leg in his hand. “But, you’ve always been beautiful, ever since we met.”

Giving you a kiss on the side of your head, Suguru wrenches your legs apart with one swift motion. You barely have time to make a sound let alone react, and Suguru is already shoving his hand between your legs by the time you do.

“Sugu-nii!” Clutching his wrist, you try in vain to yank him away from cupping your sex with his hand. “Don’t- don’t touch me there!” Digging your claws into his arm, you let out a low whine.

“Don’t be so shy, I need to check down there. You were gone for so long, who knows what you were up to.” Laughing softly at your discomfort, Suguru slips two fingers into your slit, the warm water helping his fingers glide along your cunt.

“I’m still a virgin if that’s what you’re worried about.” Craning your head up to the ceiling, you can’t stand to look at his hand moving between your tightly clenched thighs.

“Mmm I still think I should check.” Keeping you untouched was one of Suguru’s life missions. He was distraught when you told him you’d had your first kiss, utterly shattered when you mentioned potentially having a crush on the person. After that singular moment, he vowed to ruin any potential romance and to stop you from ever having sex with someone he didn’t approve of.

Swirling his fingers around your clit, Suguru chuckled as he made your legs twitch. He knew the motion was purely automatic, but he still took it for all it was worth. Pressing more firmly against it, his other hand snaked up to wrap around one of your breasts.

A soft sigh escaped your lips and you clenched them tightly together. Suguru heard it, how could he not? It was all he needed to keep going, not that he would have stopped even if you asked.

“Pretty little girl you are.” He hummed, tweaking your nipple gently in his fingers. Prodding your entrance with one finger, he quickly retracts it when you let out a pained whine. “Just checking, just checking.”

“I wasn’t lying.” You huff, once again trying to squirm out of his hold.

“And for that you deserve a reward, don’t you think?” His fingers are already rubbing your clit under the water, sloshing and splashing some of it onto the ground. Keeping his lips firmly pressed against your head, Suguru groans deeply in his chest.

“Sugu-nii...please…” Screwing your eyes closed, you’re not sure what you’re asking for. For him to stop? For him to keep going? Based on the way your hips are grinding against him, you can easily find the answer.

Suguru’s ministrations are deft, like he’s done this countless times before. And perhaps he has on other women, and that thought bitterly crosses your mind for a moment, but it’s dashed out just as quickly when he pinches your clit.

“Moan my name when you cum.” His breathing is ragged, almost as if Suguru is going to cum as well. Nodding drunkenly, only a supply of soft moans fall from your mouth. The hands that were gripping his arm have fallen slack and to the wayside, one of them gripping the side of the tub.

Turning your head to bury your face into his neck, you inadvertently press open mouthed kisses onto him as you pant and moan. Your sharp teeth graze Suguru’s neck every so often and he leans into the touch, fingers working overtime on your clit.

“Su-Sugu-nii!” Pushing your face into him, you cum with a short, high pitched cry of his name. With a long groan, Suguru works you through your orgasm and presses kisses to your head.

“Good girl.” He sighs when you finally come down, relaxed and pliant in his hold now. Slowly withdrawing his hand from your cunt, Suguru leans back against the tub contently. Laying in silence for a moment, you try and push the shame away that’s creeping up from the base of your spine.

Silently, you lean forward to grab the other products still waiting untouched on the counter. Opening the body wash he’d set out, you take the cloth he’d left as well, intent on scrubbing yourself raw and cleaning away the moment you just had.

Freshly bathed, moisturized and dressed in a new oversized shirt you didn’t own an hour later, the weight of the collar put back around your neck was starting to become familiar. Back in your room, you and Suguru laid together, the soft sound of evening rain helping you fall asleep.

Waking up to the sound of a blaring smoke alarm, the previous relaxing night was ripped away from you. Bolting upright and stumbling out of bed in a dazed panic, you try the bedroom door. It’s still locked, not budging as you attempt to force it open.

“Hello?!” You scream, anxiety rising the longer the alarm goes off.

“It’s okay!” Satoru calls back to you, voice muffled and distant. He’s clearly downstairs, hopefully dealing with whatever set the alarm off. “Just cooking!” As soon as he says that, you immediately relax.

Satoru wasn’t known for being a good cook, or even a very decent one. Whenever he tried, he always ended up burning something or making the food taste horrible. Letting go of the doorknob, you were right in assuming he hadn’t changed; the smell of something burnt wafted through the vents and up to your room.

Ten minutes later, Satoru unlocked and flung open the door with excitement brimming on his face.

“I made breakfast, come on down.” Quickly clipping the leash to the collar, he practically drug you down the stairs in his eagerness for you to eat his food. Whatever was waiting for you on the dining table looked less than appetizing, your stomach churned just looking at it.

Taking a seat, Satoru wound the leash around his fingers, drawing you closer and closer until you were sitting sideways on his lap. Resting a hand high up on your thigh, Satoru pulled the plate closer.

“Doesn’t it look good?” He asked, a childish giggle behind his words.

“Sure.” You fought to keep your face neutral, but it was hard when you took the first bite and wanted to spit it out right away. Knowing Satoru though, he wouldn’t let you cook anything for yourself, wanting you to eat what he made you with a big smile.

“Do you like it?”

“Sure.” Nodding through clenched teeth, you quickly changed the subject. “Toru-nii, why aren’t you at work?”

“Took the day off. Wanted to get reacquainted with my little sister.” Squeezing your thigh with a big grin, Satoru grabbed your utensil from your hand. “And maybe later we can go to the corner store and get ice cream!”

Even though you knew you’d have to jump through some hoops before going outside, just the mere mention of leaving this house making your stomach erupt in butterflies. You ate Satoru’s bad cooking with vigor, offering to wash the dishes as soon as you were done.

Retiring to the couch, Satoru laid a blanket over the two of you as he flicked through the TV channels. Just as Satoru picked some random shitty movie to play in the background while he got down to the true fun, the mailman came.

“One sec.” Shifting you off his lap, Satoru dragged his feet grabbing the mail. There were quite a few envelopes in his hand when he returned, and a few of them you recognized from the insurance company your parents used and signed you up for.

“What’s this?” Forcing your way to his side once again, you read over the first letter. It was from your parents life insurance, stating that you were the sole inheritor of all the money in the policy.

“Looks like you got a pretty penny, baby.” Satoru grinned as he read over the next letter, one from the bank stating that all the money from your parents accounts would be transferred to you. There was also one from their will, naming you the only one that gets money from the meager stocks they’d invested in.

“Did- did you all set this up?” Remembering what Satoru had said about Kento setting up a trust fund for you, your stomach twisted into knots.

“Oh yeah, Kento is pretty smart when it comes to forging signatures and insurance documents.” Flicking the open letters onto the coffee table, Satoru opened a thick envelope, and the words at the top made your heart stop.

“Why uh, why is this letter talking about a house fire? What is this payout?” Snatching the letter from Satoru, you didn’t blink as you read over it. “Why is my address on here? Why are they talking about a fire at my address?”

You knew the answer, it wasn’t that hard to figure out. It was spelled out clear as day on the paper, that the house you’d been adopted into and grown up in had been set ablaze in some random arson attack and that you and Suguru were going to get a very large sum of money for the damages to the now unlivable abode.

You knew the answer, yet you still needed Satoru to say it aloud, confirm what you already knew.

“There might have been a little accident at your old house after you left.” Gingerly taking the letter from you, Satoru read it over himself. “If it makes you feel any better, we didn’t just set fire to your house. We did the whole street ya know, to make it more believable.”

It made sense why you were in a new home in a new neighborhood you’d never been in. He didn’t want you to be familiar with the area or try and contact the neighbors. You didn’t know where you were, all you knew was the house you were currently in.

“Now let’s watch a movie! Kento likes to handle all the file organization!” Hooking his arm around your shoulder, Satoru pulled you to his side. Your body was stiff and unyielding, frozen in shock and mind still reeling.

“T-toru-nii.” Forcing your voice to work, you stared at the opening credits. “Can we go to the store now? I’m in the mood for some- for some uhm, snacks.”

“Yeah, why not. We can have a little movie marathon.” Pausing the TV, Satoru stretched and groaned. “Go ahead and get changed in your room, I’ll wait down here.”

“Okay.” Keeping your legs as steady as possible, you went up to your bedroom. Shaking fingers picked out the least offensive clothing they left for you, a simple pair of leggings and a plain shirt and hoodie that weren’t previously owned by a very large fox.

Walking hand in hand down the street with Satoru, you tried to keep the collar around your neck hidden. He’d been gracious enough to take the leash off, stuffing it in his back pocket as a warning before exiting the house.

Being outside and breathing in the crisp air helped clear your head a little. There was only so much you could do to calm yourself in this situation, and having the wind go by and make your ears twitch was one of them.

It was a short walk to the store in question, and Satoru stayed close by you the entire time you were there. His figure lingered around you, trailing you through the aisles and sometimes keeping a few fingers hooked in your hood just in case.

Standing outside the store, Satoru had a sly grin on his face as he looked at the bag of treats in his hand. He had been unusually quiet upon leaving, and that almost always meant he was up to something.

“Hey, stay out here for a little bit, I need to go back in and get something for Suguru.” The bait was right in your face. Satoru held a lingering gaze with you out of the corner of his eye as he went back into the store. He was practically telling you to make a run for it now. To try and escape him, even though there truly was no hope of outrunning him.

It was painfully obvious what was going to happen, or at least what Satoru wanted to happen. He liked to play chase with you, running after you at the park on warm sunny days, or with snowballs in hand during winter. He always said it was just instinct to want to chase pretty little things like you.

Even though you knew you shouldn’t, you took one look at the closed doors of the store and ran for it. As you rounded the corner, you swore that the sound of Satoru’s laughter reached your ears. You willingly stepped into his trap, the most obvious one he’s ever set.

But the smidgen of hope you had of hiding from him and getting away again outweighed how stupid you felt for giving into his desires. Running through empty suburban streets close to noon, you felt like you were in a different world. None of the streets looked like ways out to a main road, and as you kept running, it felt like you were going in circles.

“Gotcha.” Satoru announced as he appeared around a corner, a crazed look in his eyes. His fur was standing on end, electrified from the adrenaline of chasing you. Grabbing your wrist as you tried to sidestep him, Satoru laughed and hugged you to his chest. “I knew you would run, I just fucking knew it.”

You had nothing to say, hanging your head limply in his hold. Satoru rocked you side to side, his racing heart struggling to calm down.

“I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t do it, that you’d be a little smarter than this and know to stay in your place. But at the end of the day, you’re just a dumb little house cat.” Releasing you, Satoru grabbed your hand tightly. “Now we can really have some fun.”

The fun Satoru mentioned didn’t come when you got back home. Stepping back through the threshold, you were ushered back into your room with a few of the snacks and left to your own devices. Satoru had made a phone call after locking the door, the exhilaration in his voice making him breathless as he walked away and babbled to whoever on the other line.

You weren’t visited for a whole day. No one came to knock on your door to feed you, there weren’t any late night visits from Suguru. It was as if they’d forgotten about you, walking past the locked door with no regard to who lay on the other side.

A full three days of isolation passed before Suguru opened the door. It was the weekend and they’d all been home all day, you could hear them moving around downstairs and Satoru certainly seemed excited about something.

Ravenously hungry, you ate the small meal he brought you immediately. Too focused on eating, you didn’t care about the slightly strange taste or the way Suguru watched you intently to make sure you ate every last drop.

“You need to change.” His eyes flitted over the clothes you still had on from your last outing. A displeased frown graced Sugurus face, and he walked over to the wardrobe and pulled open a few drawers.

You hadn’t really taken a look inside too closely at what they’d left for you. Only briefly digging around to change, there wasn’t a real need to switch up your outfits seeing as you didn’t leave the room.

“Put this on.” Turning to you, Suguru held up a pretty pink lacy bra and panties set.

“Why?” Swallowing thickly, you took the garments that were thrust into your hands.

“You’ll see. Just get changed and come out when you’re ready. You can put my shirt on over it.” Suguru spoke quickly and left the room, leaning on the door as soon as it was closed. Thumbing over the fabric, thoughts jumped in and out of your head at what he could possibly need from you in this outfit.

But something else was taking shape in your mind, a slow drip that wouldn’t leave. The tips of your fingers were tingling and your tongue started to feel heavy. Just standing up to disrobe had you lightheaded, skimming your fingers across your naked skin had you clenching your thighs together.

“Sugu-nii, open up.” You called to him, a concerned whine at the end of your voice. You’d changed just like he’d asked, and you were happy you had because you were starting to get sweaty.

“Let’s go.” He quickly undid the collar on your neck and led you down the stairs, making sure you didn’t trip on your increasingly shaky legs. Coming to the lounge room, you were greeted by Satoru and Kento, and an unknown older third man was leaning against the wall, a long skinny black tail dangling behind him.

“What a cutie.” The man chuckled, looking you over with sharp golden eyes. Planting you in the middle of the room, Suguru left you to stand on your own. Your own eyes looked back at the man, taking in the curved black ears atop his head and his wide chest.

Standing still was proving to be a struggle for you. Whatever was happening had made you delirious, all the blood seemed to be rushing straight between your legs. Just being stared at was enough to make heat burn your cheeks in an embarrassing way.

“So you said I could do anything?” Looking past you and to your brother, the man grins wide when Suguru nods his head. Stalking closer to you, you can see the scar on the edge of his lip and the very large canine teeth inside his mouth.

Speaking was also a struggle, evident in the way you couldn’t properly get any words out, only a few nondescript sounds trickled out. Shuffling back as the man got closer, you were completely enveloped in him when he opened his arms wide, taking up all the space in your vision.

“Hey little kitty-cat.” Putting a large hand on your head, he rubs your head gruffly. The sensation makes your knees buckle, tingling pleasure from his touch spreading across your upper body. “Name’s Toji.”

“He-hello.” Forcing the word out, now that he’s so close you can finally discern what animal he was, a smooth black panther. You hadn’t seen them a lot, only catching a few glances of a couple hybrids when you were at the hostess bar and they always seemed so elusive.

“Who knew you could sound so cute all drugged up like that?” Toji cooed, rubbing your head again. “You gonna introduce yourself to me? I am your brothers’ guest after all.”

“I don’t think she can.” Suguru chuckled from the couch. He, Satoru and Kento were enraptured with the scene before them. Seeing you dwarfed by their size had become something they were accustomed to, but seeing you look so tiny against an imposing figure like Toji stirred something in them.

“Poor little thing.” With a mocking laugh he dropped his hands to his sides and looked down at you. “Lets see if you can follow directions now, hm? Take this off for me.” Flicking his chin at you, he waited with bated breath.

“Sugu...nii…” Scrunching your brows together, you looked at him. Even with your mind full of nothing but the intense ache between your legs, you still had enough sense to try and figure out what was going to happen.

“Don’t be shy baby, do as he says.” Suguru made no move to come and help you or offer any explanation. Looking to Kento and Satoru, neither of them were any help.

“Don’t make me wait all day.” Toji snapped his fingers in your face, bringing you back to staring at him. He took one look at your still concerned expression and rolled his eyes. “I’ll do it for you then, princess.”

Toji wasn’t gentle when he took your shirt off, practically ripping it off your body with his sharp claws. There was a collective gasp from the couch and Toji let out a low whistle upon seeing your body in lingerie.

“You really are something, huh?” Grasping your upper arm, Toji turned you around to stare at your ass, giving your tail a sharp tug that made you keen and arch your back. “So responsive too. Good to see the drugs working.”

Wading through the thicket in your foggy mind, it all made sense now. Why you were moaning so loudly just from Toji hugging you to his body and raking his nails lightly against your skin. Why just feeling the barrel of his chest against your back had your spine tingling with nerves.

“Sugu!” Reaching out for him, you could only lean so far forward away from Toji.

“Be quiet baby, take your punishment like a good girl.” He chided, actively palming over the growing tent in his pants.

“Sugu!” Huffing again, you strained against Tojis hold.

“Hey, didn’t he say be good?” Toji quipped and smacked your thigh. The sound echoed in the otherwise quiet room, making you jump high into the air. It hurt, the force of his smack and the lingering pain after, but somewhere in you, you enjoyed it.

Turning you around, Toji wasted no time in kissing you. Grabbing your chin tightly, he forced his tongue into your mouth. Easily overwhelming you with the strength in his kiss, Toji palmed your ass roughly. Pushing you against his growing cock, he kissed you until you were so lightheaded your legs gave out.

“Ha, this’ll be too easy.” Letting you fall to the floor, Toji peeled his shirt off and cracked the bones in his neck. The cold hardwood offered no reprieve to your burning skin, and Toji quickly descended onto you.

Caging you in with his knees on either side of you, Toji grabbed both breasts, squeezing them so hard tears sprang to your eyes instantly. Your hands weakly attempted to push him away, stop him from pulling at your nipples through the sheer fabric of the bra.

“Hey, knock it off.” The slap across the face was an unexpected sensation, your head turning to the side as his palm went across your cheek. Gasping loudly, the tears that gathered at your lashes began to fall as the pain radiated across your face.

Choking out a sob, you tossed an arm over your face to shield yourself from any more. The painful treatment of your breasts was all you could focus on and you actively had to stop yourself from trying to push him away again.

“She learns quick.” Toji remarks to the group watching you with their cocks out.

“Always has.” Kento replies smoothly, like he didn’t have his pants around his knees with his half hard cock in his hand. Turning back to you, Toji rips your arm off your face.

“Don’t think you can hide from me now, little one.” Pinning your arms to your side, Toji leaned over you and bit down on the side of your neck. Screeching and arching your back, you squirmed and whined from the pain.

You could feel the light amount of blood trickle down your neck and his rough tongue lap it up. Soothing the bite, Toji went down a few inches and did it again, littering your whole neck with bites hard enough to break skin.

Moving down to your chest, he sucked angry marks into your skin, biting down a tad softer here.  The drug they’d given you had perfectly done its job in making you more sensitive to touch and the trace amounts of pleasure you were getting from this weren’t enough to outweigh the pain.

“Toji.” Throwing your head to the side as he bit down on your shoulder, your breath left you when he peered back at you with his intense gaze. Leveling you with a single stare, Toji returned his attention to your chest and ripped your bra clean off your body.

“Nice fucking tits.” He smiled maliciously, squeezing them as hard as he could between his fingers. He reveled in your pained squirming and the way you couldn’t hold back moaning in pain.

Letting go of your breasts, he laid a hard slap across your chest, and then another the other way. He slapped your breasts at least ten times, not that you could keep track from the way it hurt.

Pinching and twisting your nipples, Toji wrapped one in his lips and bit down. Your hands slapped against the ground, sharp wails leaving you as he let go and bit the flesh of your breasts as hard as he had done to your neck.

“Fuck kitty, you made me so hard.” Lightly slapping your face side to side, Toji forced you to look down at his cock, now unrestrained and freed from his baggy pants. It looked massive even compared with how large his body was, and when he wrapped his hand around it you could feel the blood leave your face.

Toji ripped your panties off with one swipe, dangling the tattered fabric from his fingers before tossing it to the side where your bra was. Pushing your knees up and nearly hitting you in the face, Toji peered down at your cunt.

“So fucking wet.” He mumbled, swiping a finger up your slit and presenting it to you. “Fucking dripping, huh.”

“Sugu!” Whipping your head to the side, you looked at Suguru with wide eyes. Fear struck a chord in you, Suguru had always drilled it into your head that your virginity was something special, making you promise over and over that you would save it for the right person.

And you had strong doubts that Toji was the right person to take it.

“Calm down baby. I said this was a punishment after all, didn’t I?” Suguru was languidly stroking his hard cock, a cocky smile on his face as he drank in your apprehension.

“But- no, no!” Shaking your head hard enough to make it hurt, you cried unabashedly. This wasn’t right, you shouldn’t be having sex for the first time on a cold hardwood floor with a stranger while your brother and his friends watched.

“Yes, yes!” Toji mocked your frantic voice, landing slaps on the backs of your thighs as you began to cry. “Don’t act all high and mighty now. Your brothers sold you out to me like some cheap whore, now take what I give you.”

“No!” Sobbing now, it only got louder when Toji slapped your cunt with his full hand. Your legs shook violently as he slapped you again, putting more weight into his hand.

“God, I could listen to you all fucking day.” Toji let your legs go, slapping your cunt one last time to see you jump and writhe. Nestling between your legs, he gripped your hips and pulled you flush against him. “Be nice and loud for us now.”

Guiding the tip of his cock into your entrance, Toji thrust his cock in with one smooth motion of his hips. Bottoming out immediately, he threw his head back and sighed. This was the first time you had anything inside you besides your own fingers and to say it hurt was an understatement.

Despite how wet you were from the drug, you had no prep for the immense stretch of Tojis cock inside you. You weren’t sure if any amount of preparation would have been enough to take him, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on it.

The slow drag of his cock against your walls as he pulled out caught your attention. You were still sobbing, still shaking and clearly distraught, but nobody cared. They were all getting off on seeing Toji fuck you, all of their eyes bouncing between your face to where you were connected with him.

“Gojo you were right, I think I might cum quick.” They shared a laugh, Satoru echoing the sentiment back to him. Pushing back in, Toji held your hips tight enough to bruise them, digging painful fingerprints into your flesh that would linger for a long while after he left.

Setting a quick pace, Toji bounced you back on his cock as he thrust forward, dragging you across the floor with every motion. The sweat collecting on your skin helped it not to catch on the wood, but the glide was still irritating.

Putting your ankles on his shoulders, Toji bent your pliant body in half. He met no physical resistance from you, ignoring the way you groaned at the stretch and leaning over to put his forehead against yours.

“For a virgin you sure are flexible, maybe I’ll have to come back and have some more fun with you.” The deep rumble of his voice clouded your senses and you could feel the intensity behind his stare even as you closed your eyes tightly.

Rutting into you, the tip of Tojis cock bumped painfully against your cervix, forcing tears to drip out of your eyes with every thrust in. His entire being had completely consumed you, from the arbitrary way the tip of his tail swished against your bare thigh to the all consuming feeling of his cock pounding into you.

Getting used like a piece of meat, fucked into the very floor you’d have to walk on later, burned you with shame. Distressed moans turning into ones of burgeoning pleasure helped push that feeling even further and when you turned your head to see all three men furiously jerking their cocks, cheeks flushed red and sweat forming on their brows, you couldn’t help but wonder why they were letting this happen.

If they loved you as much as they claimed, why were they letting this man do this to you? He had slapped you all over your body, littered bloody bite marks across every inch of skin he could, and he had taken the one thing you were taught was sacred to you. Toji was nothing like your brothers, he was crass and unyielding, smacking you in the thighs as he fucked you.

He was so unlike them, the difference was astounding. The nasty words he snarled out to you, calling you a worthless little virgin and just a hole to be fucked, hurt you. Your brothers, as mean as they could be to you, would never say such nasty things. Even when Kento spanked you, he made it all better in the end.

Toji offered no happy ending, taking and taking from you until you couldn’t breathe anymore from the weight pressing down on your chest. Forcing you to kiss him, Toji growled into your mouth as he came abruptly.

Warmth flooded you, his syrupy cum smearing and coating every inch of your cunt. Grinding against you, he let your legs fall to the ground as he pulled out, his cock still rock hard. You were nearly unconscious when he finally pulled away from your lips, head falling to the side to see the three men all cumming as well.

“Y-you’re still hard?” Satoru gaped, milking his own cock for the last few drops of cum.

“Why does the little princess here have to be the only one drugged up?” Toji chuckled. Mentally and physically drained already, you were becoming practically comatose in his hold. Flipping you over onto your stomach, Toji peered down at your eyes slipping away. “Looks like she’s all tuckered out.”

Grabbing your ass, he spread your cheeks apart and revealed your puckered asshole. Spitting down onto it, he swirled his finger around it shortly, gathering up the cum and slick between your legs as added lubricant to push his finger through the tight ring of muscle.

“That’s okay, little kitty-cat, just go to sleep.” Pushing his finger all the way down to the knuckle, Toji smoothed a hand on your lower back and purred as he watched you fall unconscious. “Your uncle Toji will take good care of you.”

When you awoke again, you were back in your bed. Back in the room that wasn’t yours, in the house that you hadn’t grown up in, in a neighborhood you had no clue about. The collar was back around your neck, not as tight as before but still weighing just as heavy.

Every part of your body ached. There wasn’t a single part of you that didn’t hurt, all your muscles screamed in agony as you tried to move. There was a sharp, burning pain between your legs, raised teeth marks dotting along all the skin you touched, and your eyes were puffy and dry.

Parched beyond all belief, you struggled to grab the cup of water left on the nightstand. Nearly spilling it from how shaky your hands were, you gulped down the liquid greedily. It wasn’t enough to soothe your aching throat, but it was a start.

The sun moved across the room as you floated in and out of consciousness, casting beams of light in different directions every time you opened your eyes. There wasn’t much your body was willing to let you do, forced to just lay in bed under the fluffy blankets and wonder when someone would come to see you.

“(Y/N).” A soft whisper accompanied the slow creak of the door as it opened. The three men you’d been waiting for appeared, gentle expressions on all their faces. Suguru was the first to reach out and touch you, cupping your cheek and rubbing his thumb along your face.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked, taking a seat on your bed.

“It hurts.” You whisper back, wincing as you try and fail to sit up.

“Yeah, I bet. Uncle Toji did a number on you, didn’t he?” Suguru was speaking to you like you were a stupid child, his tone low and even.

“He did.” Barely nodding, your eyes flicked to Satoru and Kento. Satoru looked ready to jump into bed with you, his tail flicking in thinly veiled excitement behind him. Kento remained stoic, his arms crossed but his eyes never leaving yours.

“I hope now you understand how good you have it.” Kento said, the ever present sternness in his voice.

“Yeah (Y/N), men like Toji are all over the place, and one of them could have done something worse to you while you were away in Tokyo!” Satoru couldn’t help but chime in, stepping closer as he spoke.

“That’s true. We only let him have you for one night as a punishment, but think about how much worse it would be if you were still in Tokyo without the protection of your big brothers. This could have happened at that nasty little hostess bar, and it could have been much worse.” Suguru hadn’t stopped stroking your cheek the entire time he was in the room and he wasn’t about to stop now. “You don’t want guys like Toji around you, do you?”

“N...no.” Knitting your brows together, their words rattled around your skull. They weren’t exactly wrong, something much worse could have happened at the hostess bar, and you wouldn’t have your big brothers to watch over you.

Sure, the aches and pains in your body were horrible, but imagining going through the pain night after night, day after day at the hands of some random men at the red light district was much worse.

The longer you looked at all three of them, the more it made sense in your head. They had done horrible things, but the reality was that you were safe here. You didn’t have to worry about providing for yourself ever again, you had plenty of food and three people that loved you so much it hurt them to be apart from you for too long. Out in the world, anything could happen. Recounting the days you spent on the run made your stomach churn, unpleasant memory after memory coming back to you.

“You see now? You need us, (Y/N), just as much as we need you.” Drawing your attention back to him, Suguru swept his arm over to the other two. “We love you so much, we just want you to be the happiest member of the pack.”

“Of the pack…” Echoing the last words, you nodded. Pack life was important to them, it was what kept them safe and feeling secure in life. And right now, you certainly craved that security. “I want to be part of the pack.”

Large smiles erupted on all of their faces - Kento hiding his - at your words. It’s what they’d wanted to hear all along, and now everything felt complete. Sitting you up and wrapping you in a hug, Suguru was careful not to squeeze you too tightly.

“I love you (Y/N).” He said, tail thumping against the bed happily. Satoru and Kento echoed the statement, and they came to hug you as well. With all three pairs of arms around you, their warmth soothed not only the ache in your body but in your heart as well. Hugging them felt right, it felt like you were always meant to be here.

“Are you hungry? I can make you something.” Kento is the first to pull away, a light blush on his face that he tries to hide.

“Yes please.”

“Ooh, I’ll help!” Satoru throws his hand into the air as he pulls away but not before kissing you on the cheek.

“I guess I’ll help too then.” Suguru lingers around you, giving you a series of light kisses on your cheeks. “Little sister should eat well after all she’s been through.”

“We’ll be quick. Stay in bed.” Kento warns. He’s already at the door, the other two close behind him.

“I-” Your voice breaks when you try to use it and they stop before they fully exit the room.

“Hm?”

“I love my big brothers too.” Your cheeks burn a little from saying the words, and a shy giggle passes your lips. Fiddling with the blankets, you can see out of the corner of your eye that they’ve all started to blush a little.

“We love you too, little sister.” Suguru sighs, heart full to bursting. Wishing you another round of farewells, they all leave and Suguru closes the door behind him, leaving it unlocked.

[serendipityjxmn]

Mr. President

Chapter 14

TW: None

Words Count: 1.5k

Link to Masterlist

Link to Chapter 15

You’re home early. Since you so conveniently followed your heart to resign right at that moment. You sigh, looking up at the ceiling where you lay defeated on your bed.

You wonder if you did things right.

But at the same time it kind of feels liberating.

He doesn’t even mention about your gift to him.

You sigh again. You don’t really resent your husband. He did the same thing a hundred other employers would do. He can’t let you off the hook simply because you’re his wife.

Although you guess he could’ve brought you somewhere else and lash out on you where not everyone could witness it.

Without realizing it, you fell into a slumber and only wakes when the dusk has set. You glance at the clock and sits up almost immediately. It’s around the time Jimin would be back and you haven’t prepared dinner yet. Hoping he hasn’t reach home yet, you quickly head downstairs and make your way to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startle you a little. You turn to see your husband standing at the threshold, looking quite unsure of himself.

You almost want to let out a laugh but holds yourself, although barely. “I made some spaghetti today.”

He takes a step forward hesitantly. You sit yourself in front of him once you laid dinner on the table.

You see him hesitate to eat and despite knowing it’s because of earlier events, you couldn’t help asking. “You.. don’t like spaghetti..?” Just in case.

“You’re not mad.” He states.

You try really hard to stifle a smile and hopefully it works. “I’m not.” You simply say before beginning on your own spaghetti.

“You quit your job.”

You pause for a while before answering. “You’ve always been keen to get rid of me at the company, thought I’ll make it easier.” You joke but Jimin apparently doesn’t seem to understand. You sigh and look at him. “I’m not mad. You did what you have to.”

You see his shoulder visibly relaxes at this. “Took an unfair accusation to get you to quit your job.” He teases back and this time you smile. “I’m.. sorry I yelled.. I should’ve asked before blindly getting mad at you.”

“It’s okay. At least I get to sleep in again now.”

He smiles at that. “And um..”

You look up and for a fleeting second, you think he’s blushing.

“Thanks.. for the gift.” He says quickly.

Your lips break into the biggest smile upon hearing that, heart hammering from his simple words.

He smiles at you too, or basically just the corner of his lips quirking very slightly. But you don’t care.

All is good again.

It feels good to have a lot of time at hand again. You’ve started again on art using the art set Jimin gave you. And you’ve since been working on your small portrait. You smile at Jimin’s face that you’ve drawn so far. You try your hardest to enunciate all of his beautiful features. And it’s the best pose of him that you like, him smiling. His blinding smile that could literally light up the whole world.

You’re careful to cover the painting in canvas whenever you’re away because you can’t risk Jimin finding out.

And you don’t know how but your mind is suddenly reminded of your personal diary, a book where you religiously writes your day which nowadays is mostly filled with Jimin.

Glancing at the clock, you head upstairs to change clothes. Once you’re done, you head down to find your personal bodyguard that your husband informed you before, Taeseok.

“Hey um-“ you begin as soon as you see him. He staggers to his feet quickly, perhaps surprised to see you. You feel kind of weird too to finally be communicating with him.

“Hi.” You say again awkwardly. He nods his head in equal awkwardness. “Um- I need to head to the office to pick up some stuff.”

He nods. “I’ll bring the car around.” He says simply.

It’s a very innocent and seemingly harmless act. You deciding to pay a visit to the company where you once work to pick up some stuff. You even try to have a small conversation with your bodyguard on your way to the company.

Except that it is all a mistake.

Stepping out of the car, a woman walks past you, making you stop in your tracks. You stare as she walks past and enters the company.

That model figure and long black hair.

You feel like your world is collapsing. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst and your head is spinning. Everything around you seems to spin and you stumble and would’ve face planted on the ground if Taeseok didn’t step in and holds you firm.

“You alright, Mrs. Park?”

You scoff. Mrs. Park. Not like it means anything other than just you as one of his property. You manage to stand again with the help of your bodyguard. Eyes staring blankly at the building entrance. All thoughts or will to enter and retrieve your things are gone.

Trying hard to ignore the physical pain in your chest, you turn to look at Taeseok and finds him staring at the entrance as well. His gaze turns to you then and you could see the look of sympathy in his eyes. That seems to set off something in you as your tears flow immediately.

Taeseok sees this and quickly swallows. “Would you like me to take you home, Mrs. Park?” He offers kindly.

You can only nod meekly.

You’ve burnt yourself once and cut yourself twice now as you’re preparing meals in the kitchen because you’ve been zoning out too much.

Your heart hurts too much.

But at the same time you also feel like laughing hysterically, laughing at yourself who seems so pathetic right now.

You thought everything is going well between the both of you. You thought you’ve made progress with your husband.

Took you few months to slowly crack his shell only for him to break any hope you have within seconds. Only for you to realize he has a million other shells around him and that you’ve barely scratched his first.

For the hundredth time now, you went to the kitchen sink and wash your face to clear off any evidence of you crying. You don’t need your husband to see and snide you about this. Wiping your face dry, you draw a breath and start cooking properly.

You sense his presence before you hear him. His footsteps can be really silent, you think. Your thinking is right that Jimin’s behind you when you whiff the smell of his vanilla-tinged cologne, perhaps your most favourite smell in the world and you quickly brace yourself.

You’re cutting onions on the chopping board when arms snake around you, making you jump and you almost cut yourself again if not for Jimin’s right hand that holds your wrist firmly.

“Careful.” He whispers.

How could you not when every ounce of him screams danger?

Your lung drops when Jimin slumps forward and rests his head on your shoulder, his free hand on the edge of the counter in front of you, practically caging you from behind.

Your whole body freezes. You’ve never been this hyper aware of every nerves coursing through your vein.

“J-Jimin what are you-“

“Ssh, just stay like this. Let me just stay like this for 5 minutes.” He murmurs against your shoulder.

Your body remains stiff as seconds tick by. “Relax.. I’m not going to harm you.”

Something in his tone makes the hairs raise against your skin.

“You’re very jumpy.” You hear him sigh.

You swallow thickly. “T-tough day?” You immediately regret asking because your own voice betrays you but he doesn’t seem to sense it.

He only grunts and you wait but he doesn’t say anything so you come to accept the fact that it’s his way of responding.

The time continues to stretch yet your whole body doesn’t relax at all. Because your mind is all sorts of chaos, your heart is everything unsettled.

If it was five hours ago, before you went to the company and saw Clara Kim walking in, you’d probably stay still and lend your shoulder for as long as he wants. But you feel your own heart breaking, little by little as each second you let him leaning on you ticks by.

“Jimin please don’t do this..”

“Do what?” He mumbles, still not lifting his head.

‘You- you’re always cold to me.. so cold and distant.. you’re somewhere I can’t reach and suddenly you’re doing this-“

He lifts his head as you seem to have taken his attention fully. You brave yourself to turn your body to face him and sees him staring back at you, eyes blown.

“Why?” He says harshly and you can’t help but flinch. “You’re my wife. And don’t forget that I own you.” Don’t forget that you’re nothing.

Your eyes start to sting. Tears threatening to cloud your vision but you quickly blink them away. “No- no I can’t do this.. I know it’s just temporary but I- I can’t.. not when I’m sharing you with someone else-“

“Share?” His voice raises. “Who the fuck do you think I’m-“

“Clara Kim.” The name is out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “I know about her.” You say quietly.

And Jimin’s expression turns furious instantly. You’ve never seen him so mad. “That’s none of your fucking business. And you know nothing.” He snarls and storms away.

He didn’t come to bed that night.

Link to Chapter 15

Posted on 210428 10:00PM

[deaththesyd]

A Swim Worth The Bruises

Finally, after months of following others and loving their content, I am ready to make my first contribution to this site with my own fanwork! (This is my excuse for anything weird about the formatting of my post.) This isn't my first time posting fanfiction however! I have an AO3 account under the same username as well, that has a shakily outlined story which this fic is part of.

This is my first post of hopefully many, prompted by Kisame week 2021's day 1 challenge, "Come into the water and I'll show you". @kisameweek-2021

I also want to say this was inspired by a post headcannoning that Kisame could draw sharks to him passively, kinda like the Zodiac members in Fruits Basket.

Summary:

“I just wonder what you do out there for so long.”

The look on her face was simply too cute to deny her curiosity. It was probably a bad idea, but knowing her, she would definitely enjoy the experience. He debated on the idea for a short moment, which piqued her interest further. Her pleading look ended the mental debate. “Come into the water and I’ll show you.”

The summer heat was quickly becoming unbearable. The early morning hadn’t been too bad, as the trio had been mostly shaded by the trees, but as the day progressed and the terrain turned to deadened grass and rock, the sun's beams were becoming a little more than an annoyance. Normally, Kisame would just trudge on, even at the risk of heat exhaustion, he prided himself on his ability to endure. With his companions though, that wasn’t an option. Itachi had been getting worse. He tried to hide it, and to his credit, he had hidden his worsening condition for years, but as their mutual trust strengthened and the sickness became harder to stifle, Kisame had taken notice of the muffled coughs and squinting glances. Their traveling had always been leisurely, but unless they were on a mission that was expected to be finished quickly, Kisame insisted on breaks. The younger man was both determined and stubborn, and this meant that without Kisame’s interference, he would have dropped dead from overexertion several times over. At the moment, said man was keeping pace with the taller man's strides, but his ever weary face was dampened by sweat, and his breath was coming out slightly harshened by exhaustion.

Looking down at his other side, he could see that their third companion was too, sweaty and tired and determined not to show it. Breathing laboured, she clutched the straps of her backpack as she shuffled along. Her steps were loud and crunched as she dragged her feet, no doubt wearing out the soles of her shoes. Healthy as she may be, she wasn’t accustomed to the heat and it wore on her as it did the two shinobi. Both needed a break, yet were firmly set on pushing themselves till they were forced to stop. He knew that he would have to be the one to make an excuse for them to rest, but he was having a hard time spotting a reasonable spot to recover. That was until the wind changed direction and he caught a whiff of a familiar scent.

The reason he hadn’t realized how close they were was because of the sloping, rocky cliffs that hid it from their view. As they drew nearer to the tall rocks Kisame could make out a seagull call and grinned. Itachi must have realized where they were as well, as he perked up slightly and gave the other man an approving look from the side of his eye. Both men changed their direction slightly and headed towards what they hoped would be a suitable rest stop. Turning to check on the woman following at his side, she appeared to not have noticed anything, focussed on her own thoughts. She only clued in when they were close enough to hear the waves lapping at the coast, that was when her eyes lit up with excitement. She looked first at Kisame, who gave her a sharp-toothed grin, then at Itachi, who simply gave a curt nod. Childlike glee had her tired feet bouncing along once again.

Climbing the rocky slopes was challenging, but when all three had clamored to the top, they were rewarded with the uninhibited breeze, and the sight of sparkling water reaching as far as the horizon. The sight was beautiful of course, but the promise of salty, cooling water had them quickly making their way down to the beach. The current position of the sun gave them a nice shaded area at the base of the cliffs to settle their things. Itachi unzipped his long Akatsuki cloak and used it to sit upon, leaning against the cold rock. Kisame’s cloak was laid on the sand next to Itachi’s, as well as his sword, Samehada, and the rest of his supplies. While he kicked off his shoes, his cloak was stolen by the third of their group as she lazily flopped to rest in the shade. Her wriggling attempts to find a comfortable position caused a muffled chuckle from Kisame as he tugged his shirt over his head. Finally finding a suitable arrangement lying on her stomach, arms crossed in front to cushion her head, legs splayed awkwardly, she turned to say something but seemed to lose track of what that thing may have been when she glanced at the expanse of muscle above her.

Her ogling was very clear, Kisame smirked, “You see something you like?” he asked.

Partially hidden by her arms was an impressed grin, and her eyes stayed right where they were as she simply replied, “Duh”. The complete lack of shame made him laugh as he decided to indulge her by giving a few flexing poses, to her absolute delight. Itachi, who was quite used to their casual flirting, ignored them and closed his eyes for a chance at a light nap.

Shuffling out of his pants and stooping to fold them with his shirt and lay them on a rock to keep them from getting sandy, he was watched unabashedly by the woman. He was used to this by now, she had never been the type to hide her attraction to him. Instead of her staring making him uncomfortable, it gave his ego a boost, made him feel as attractive as she told him he was. “Tell me how the water is when you get back,” she said, a little more quietly than her normal volume, trying to be more considerate of Itachi’s attempt at getting some shut-eye.

Raising a brow, Kisame looked at her, “You could come along and find out for yourself” he tempted, following her lead in lowering his voice slightly.

In a less objectifying way, she glanced down at his underwear and gave a light laugh, “I don’t know if I feel comfortable swimming in my underwear” she answered.

This made Kisame chuckle, “It’s not as though it’s something I haven’t seen before,” he argued. He glanced at Itachi and added, “and Itachi’s a gentleman, he wouldn’t dare to make a woman uncomfortable by gawking at her in a state of undress.” Itachi didn’t react other than continuing to ignore their chatter, but this was the clearest sign showing that he had no particular desire to ‘gawk’ as Kisame had mentioned. He glared humorously at her, “Unlike someone else I know.” She giggled but looked as though she was considering his offer, before settling her head down in her arms properly.

“Too tired to swim,” she mumbled into her arms, “Later.” She finished.

That was good enough for Kisame, the lapping of the waves against the shore finally drew him away from the shade and his tired companions. The scorching heat had been forgotten as he undressed in the shade, but the short distance to the water had reminded him why he had so badly wanted to reach the cool ocean before. Splashing water sprayed his ankles as he took a testing step into the clear water. The feeling was already refreshing, but as he waded further in, eventually reaching waist-deep before diving under completely, he felt the familiar calm of the ocean, of what he truly considered home. Opening his eyes he could see the sandy, seaweed-covered ground better than most with his specially developed eyes. Tiny fish swam away from his kicking legs and powerful arms, yet more kept swimming closer, curious as they were. His lung capacity was greater than most, but gills served as nothing more than decoration, and he was forced to come up for air after a few minutes of swimming along the seafloor. Breaking the surface, he let himself float on the gentle waves, basking in the sun for a short while, before taking a breath and submerging himself again. After all the time on land, he had begun to miss the weightlessness of the ocean. Sometimes he wished he was fully adapted for the salty sea waters, he felt as if he was a mistake on land, a fish out of water.

It seemed as though the body of water felt the same, as he spotted a black-tipped dorsal fin jutting out of the waves, heading directly for him. Kisame grinned a toothy grin, it had always been something of an uncontrollable talent for him to compel nearby sharks to gather around him. The reef shark wasn’t shy, it brushed against him, curiously drawn to his presence. Kisame carefully ran a hand along the length of its back as it moved past. It playfully flicked its tail, hitting him with a strength he would always admire. It circled him, enjoying the attention, bumping harshly into him. It appeared to be the bravest of its peers, as a few more gathered around him, their rowdiness didn’t make him nervous, instead, he enjoyed their rough company. The heat of the sun on his face and shoulders pushed him to once again dive into the deep blue. His new companions swam around him, curiously following as he dove deeper, giving him enough space to maneuver freely. Once he could seat himself on the sandy floor, he casually performed the signs for a basic water jutsu, creating a small whirlpool that caught the playful sharks and sent them spiraling quickly to the surface. Once the jutsu was released, they swam back, excitedly nudging him as they swarmed, the equivalent of a group of children surrounding an adult asking them “to do that again!”, and he indulged. When the pain in his chest was too much to ignore, he breached the surface of the waves to gulp greedy breaths of air.

By now his only company was not simply the blacktips, but they had been joined by a bulky and brutish bull shark that preferred to simply swim close, avoiding Kisame’s jetstreams and whirlpools. Lurking nearby in the slightly murky distance were a few hammerheads that were still hesitant to get too close. He wasn’t quite sure how long he had been out in the deep, so he gave the bull a firm palm to the nose as a farewell and began the short distance back to shore. As much as Kisame yearned to belong fully to the sea, he couldn’t swim forever, and his companions waiting ashore wouldn’t be leaving without him.

Closer to the beach he could spot her walking in the shallows, still fully clothed, just cooling her legs. The sun wasn’t as high as before, and he was sure it had cooled down some by now, but standing in direct heat was most likely to still be less preferable than the shade. He wondered if she was waiting for his return. The beaming smile on her face when she noticed his approach made it clear that was exactly what she was doing, and Kisame couldn’t help but grin back in earnest. She waded further in, stepping carefully, avoiding the mushy seaweed and pointed stones till she was deep enough for the water to just miss the bottom of her shorts. He bridged the gap between them, getting close enough to speak without shouting. “Was napping with Itachi too boring for ya? Or did you just miss me?” he teased.

She gave a soft laugh, “Itachi’s not boring” she insisted. “I was just a little worried about you”.

Had he really been gone that long? Covering up the fact that he was flustered by her care for him, he reached a dripping hand to ruffle her hair in a teasing gesture, which she annoyedly huffed at, batting his hand away before running her own hands through to organize the dampened strands. “Worried about lil’ ol me?” he joked, “Did you think I was gobbled up by a giant sea monster? I thought you knew I was big and strong.” His forced grin returned to a normal one when she rolled her eyes at him.

“Of course not!” she replied exasperatedly, and then a bit more curiously, “I just wonder what you do out there for so long.”

The look on her face was simply too cute to deny her curiosity. It was probably a bad idea, but knowing her, she would definitely enjoy the experience. He debated on the idea for a short moment, which piqued her interest further. Her pleading look ended the mental debate. “Come into the water and I’ll show you.”

“But I’m already in the water” she teased, gesturing at the gentle rolls of the tide around her legs.

He rolled his eyes, unamused. “You don’t trust me?” he baited, and of course she took it.

“Of course I do!” She said frustratedly, followed by a dramatic sigh, “Just give me a moment to save my clothes, jeez I was just kidding.” Her obvious sincerity was just so refreshing to him, he couldn’t help but pick on her sometimes. Even when she was upset with him, she always made sure he knew how much she cared. He followed her, not even trying to hide the gloating grin he wore when she pouted over her shoulder at him.

The sun had shifted enough that the spot they had chosen before was now in direct sunlight instead of the shade, and Itachi had either never fallen asleep, or had awoken to the uncomfortable heat and had retreated further into the shadows to read instead. Despite what Kisame had said to her before about Itachi not looking at her undressing, he couldn’t help but keep watch on his young partner. Sure, he knew Itachi quite well, but for her comfort, and, admittedly, his own, he felt a bit protective. Folding her clothes and placing them next to Kisame’s on the now Sun-bathed rock. Faking confidence, she walked beside him, heading towards the water. Her body language was stiff, but she seemed determined to ignore how she flushed slightly at her inappropriate swim attire.

Reaching the water and wading far enough to conceal her form made her noticeably more relaxed. “So, what was soooo incredible that forced me to strip for you?” she joked, reminding him just why they were there.

Grinning down at her, he fell backward into the water and swam away facing her still, deciding a verbal response was not quite needed just yet. She huffed, but her curiosity made her follow his lead, swimming towards him, not quite managing to bite back the smile playing on her lips. They swam mostly in silence for a short while before he decided they had gone far enough from shore. She was attempting to hide how tired she was, but he knew that even with her determination she wouldn’t be able to keep above water for much longer. Reaching for her he arranged her comfortably in one arm, laughing off her protests. “Don’t worry about it Guppy, I don’t mind swimming for the both of us”, he assured before adding in a more serious tone, “and the water’s about to get a bit rougher than you can manage anyway”. This made her pout fade away into a more curious expression. She didn’t seem scared, but he felt her grip on his arm tighten in preparation for what was coming.

It took a moment, but when a bulky head brushed against his legs he heard her gasp. He felt worried then, that this had been a mistake, that she would freak out, but when he looked at her face, her look of wonder erased his doubts. Another shark bumped into them as it passed, a bit rougher than the last, but this just made her chuckle breathily as she watched it fade away into the deep. These blacktips were still young, only a few feet long, smaller than the ones from before, but as they started to get rougher as they grew more excited, Kisame gave them a few firm pushes on their snouts as a deterrent, but this only worked for a short while, as they once again circled the pair, brushing past them. Kisame felt one of her hands leave him to reach into the water to brush gently against them, careful to keep her hands clear of any teeth. Just as she would with a cat or a dog, she cooed as she ran her hand along the length of their backs, and giggled when one got too excited and snapped at the tail of another. Cute as it was to her, it was a sign to Kisame that he should put some distance between them and her before they got too nippy.

“I’m gonna need my hand back, so you might wanna hang on” he warned before letting go of her to flash a few hand signs that caused a pulse of water to flush the swarming reef sharks away. With the space he gave them, she adjusted her hold, while he readied himself for another jutsu. Like before, he formed a small whirlpool and sent it towards the sharks, sending them whizzing around in a flurry of current. Beside him his companion was in complete awe, watching the sharks regain their bearings as the jutsu faded. Confidently grinning, he completed the signs for another jutsu, this time, it was a geyser that sent the sharks up a couple of feet above the water, giving his companion a good look at the creatures she adored before they dove safely back down. He expected the starstruck look on her face, but he hadn’t expected it to be directed at him. He could feel his face flush as he performed his next jutsu.

-

They left when a couple of bigger sharks joined them, she looked disappointed, but she didn’t protest, something Kisame was thankful for. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and they still had some traveling to do before they could set up camp. Maybe some other time he could let her meet a white shark. When they reached the sandy shore and walked towards their clothes, he knew he had made the correct decision. It was easy for her to forget how tired she was when she was watching fish fly, but he could tell their swim had tired her out again. Still, she was uncontrollably grinning like a child, and her earlier embarrassment over her state of dress was forgotten as she asked “How do you do that? Do you summon them or something? That was so cool!”

Taking a subtle glance at Itachi, who was still reading in his spot in the shade, he passed her her clothes. “No, I didn’t summon them, although I can summon sharks. I’m not really sure if this is true for all in the Hoshigaki clan, but all of my family members have been able to draw sharks to them passively without summoning” he answered. She seemed fascinated as she stared up at him.

While struggling to put her clothes over top of her wet underwear and damp skin she continued “Does it work with all sharks? Are they always that friendly?” She hesitated before adding, “Has one ever hurt you?” She asked the last part concernedly.

“No, not really,” he assured, “I've had a few nips from some smaller ones, and a few bruises from the bigger ones, but they've never been aggressive towards me”. The look of relief that came across her face made him unconsciously relax as well.

“I’m glad they're friendly, even though they're a little rough when they play. It would probably be a problem whenever you went to the beach otherwise” she laughed. “Though,” she paused to consider a thought, “I guess if you drew them too close to a public beach you could easily terrorize the public by accident.”

The idea of him even going to a public beach was laughable to him, but the idea of him drawing a group of sharks to the shallows of a crowded beach was a dream he was now tempted to make a reality. He chuckled “Never thought of that, but I think that's a pretty quick way to get myself a private beach.”

Giggling and fixing her hair as best as she could, she waited as Kisame finished redressing before they gathered their belongings and joined Itachi. Without sparing them a glance he bookmarked his page and slipped the novel back into his pack. Kisame noted how far along in the story the younger man was and decided to make a bookshop one of their next stops. Adjusting his cloak, Itachi stood and acknowledged their presence, “Did you enjoy your swim with the sharks?” He asked, queuing the excited retelling of her experience. As they made their way over the rocky cliffs back to the road, she gushed about how cute the sharks had been, drawing a rare, faint smile on Itachi’s lips, something that Kisame after years of being around the man still wasn’t used to seeing. All three of them were still tired from their travels, but their short beach stop had reinvigorated their mood, and their comfortable chatter kept them entertained till they set up their camp and turned in for the night.

[crystalrose555]

Don’t make me slap you pt 31

“We’re under attack! Help, send out the royal guard!” No. 2 screamed as he burst into the garden where Diavolo and Barbatos resided with afternoon tea.

However, before he could manage to explain, Little D No. 2 was gripped tightly by an out-of-breath Mammon. As his brothers made their appearance in a gruff and hurried fashion, he squished down the little demon.

“Shut up before people start thinkin’ we’re tryin’ to take over the place!” He growled.

“Once usurpers, always usurpers, Pa-”

Little D No. 2 didn’t even have a chance to finish his taunt as Mammon threw him as hard as he could into the distance. Everyone stared at him as he heaved for breath and dusted off his hands.

“What!? The little jerk can fly and we have more important stuff, remember!?”

“For once, Mammon’s right. Lord Diavolo, do you care to explain?”

Diavolo smiled while placing his cup down on the saucer.

“Explain what, may I ask?”

Levi pushed his way to the front of his brothers as he pulled out his phone and showed its content with a fierce blush on his face.

“Don’t cast Confusion, what is with this!?”

“Ah yes, that is the Devilgram post that Marley sent to tell you all that she was alright.” He answered.

“Yeah, but what’s with that picture!?”

“Oh, Marley believed a picture would be best to announce her recovery since you weren’t answering your D.D.D.s.”

“Then why did she take it while sitting on your lap like that!?” Levi screamed while pointing at the familiar red cloth in the background of Marley who posed provocatively with a seductive cheekiness.

Diavolo scratched his face with his finger and looked away with a small chuckle.

“Ah yes, she claimed it would be a better angle and insisted on taking it that way, something about an interesting background and composition.”

“Aww, she remembered my posting lessons~”

“Asmo, you're the reason behind such a lewd picture!?”

“Yeah, I taught her some secrets of breaking into the top posts on Devilgram but I never dreamed that she would get the top rank ahead of yours truly. That cheeky little minx used Lord Diavolo’s account to promote her selfie. I’m mostly upset because I never thought about taking a picture on Lord Diavolo’s lap. Actually, Lord Diavolo, can I-”

Asmo, however, didn’t get to finish his request as the piercing gaze of his elder brothers burned holes in the back of his head. Surprisingly, the most intense stares were coming from Lucifer whose face had run cold with his full disdain for the overall situation. Diavolo, on the other hand, looked on in confusion.

“I thought you all would be happy to learn that Marley’s alive and well.”

“We were until we saw what was happening in Devilgram. The entire app has crashed three times from the sudden flux of viewers and comments on your account. Not to mention the entire rumor mill from RAD has blown up in multitudes and hasn’t decreased since the picture was posted.” Satan answered.

“The mere thought about the amount of work ahead is giving me a headache that could rival the pain of the fall.” Lucifer coldly added.

Diavolo’s eyes widened at the sudden comment.

“Wait, you still wish to follow me, Lucifer? After everything?”

Lucifer sighed heavily.

“Of course, you saved Lilith and I swore my loyalty to you for it. My oath remains just as it did before, though the burden has shifted in a way that I’ve never planned for.”

Diavolo blinked and turned his attention to the other brothers who showed a range of feelings upon their faces.

“I mean, yeah, y’all lied to all of us but all that don’t matter since Lilith got the chance to live how she wanted.” Mammon added.

“...With the human she loved. And we couldn’t be by her side but her happiness is all that counts at this point.”

“Not to mention their love brought us Mochi in the end and I’ll never regret that~” 

“Y-Yeah, it’s a little cliche but I got a best friend from all of this. A Henry that doesn’t think I’m a worthless otaku and who cares about what I care about.”

“Not to mention she made hangin’ out with y’all more tolerable.”

“You’re only saying that because she had all that gold, you money-grubber.”

“Oi, at least I wasn’t squishin’ her face whenever I saw here, ya blond little geek.”

The brothers’ unity turned to discord as they argue amongst themselves, accusing and ratting out one another’s secrets. Lucifer just held his temples as he felt a dull pain radiating throughout his head. Seeing this, Diavolo’s shoulders slumped as the tension left them upon seeing the brothers whom he took into his kingdom were now freely losing face in front of him. They were still supportive of him despite his hand in the secrets they suffered. However, he couldn’t fully relax as his eyes laid upon the reclusive twins who remained in the background.

“And you two? You both should have the most to say about all of this after everything.” Diavolo asked, directing the conversation.

Beel stood firm while Belphie avoided the prince’s gaze, clinging to his brother’s sleeve. Feeling the tightening grasp, Beel placed his large hand over his twin’s pale one.

“Marley would always snack with me and when she was with me, it didn’t feel like I was alone as much. And I will always be grateful to her for bringing Belphie back to us and letting us know the truth about our sister. Right, Belphie?”

Everyone’s gaze slowly shifted to Belphie who shrunk behind Beel further. Diavolo remained silent before asking the brothers to join him at his table as he did before, with a smile across his face.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“...As long as she’s alright, I don’t care...”

A drawn-out groan came out of some brothers while the other half held their faces. Beel, however, just placed his hand firmly on Belphie’s head while stuffing his face with cake.

“What Belphie meant to say was he wanted to thank her and apologize properly.”

“Yeah, we older brothers have to make sure the baby apologizes when he messes up.” Mammon teased as he pulled on Belphie’s cheek.

“Knock it off, Mammon or-”

“Or what? You gonna push me down the stairs and set me on fire too?”

Nearly all of his brothers gave Mammon a look of disgust and disapproval.

“Oi, I was the one who had to keep everyone’s head above water, so I get a pass!”

“Alright then, when Marley forgives Belphie we can string Mammon up and hit him until he returns all the things he owes us since we’re in a gracious mood for his steady support.” Lucifer coldly suggested.

“How is that thankin’ me!? Where’s Marley anyway, she’ll back me up on this!” Mammon demanded.

“Yes, she’s the reason we all came here, Lord Diavolo. So where is she?”

Diavolo paced his fork down next to his cake.

“Oh, she’s already back home. I sent her back after she took the pictures upon her request.”

Nearly all of the brothers frowned upon hearing the news except for Lucifer and Levi who froze in mid-drink and bite respectively.

“Aww, she went back after all of this, that’s a shame. I wanted to go shopping with her.” Asmo paused.

“And I wanted to talk about the books she left me.” 

“...Diavolo...”

“Yes, Lucifer?”

“You said pictures just now...” He strained out as his teacup trembled slightly in his grasp.

Diavolo blinked obliviously as he nodded with a smile while Levi roughly dropped his fork to the plate with a clang.

“Meaning more than one?”

“Yes, she took multiple pictures to use with my D.D.D.”

Satan, Mammon, and Asmo joined their brothers in astonished horror while Belphie and Beel remained as if nothing was wrong. Barbatos continued to serve with a smile on his face.

“So, the pictures, Lord Diavolo, are they still on your D.D.D.?”

“Oh no, Marley placed them in a thing called a queue.” He answered with a wonderful smile.

“...the queue for Devilgram?” 

“Yes, she then programmed it to release a post every so often so her message wouldn’t get buried.”

The only sound that was heard at the tea-table was Lucifer shattering his teacup in his hand while Levi ripped the table cloth with his own iron grip. The second, fourth, and fifth brother bit their laughing tongues to avoid becoming victim to the impending wave of rage.

“Lucifer, you shattered your teacup.”

“My apologies, my nerves are just reaching their limit. Sir, please hand your D.D.D. over to Leviathan, will you?”

With a disappointed pout, Diavolo followed Lucifer’s request as Levi snatched the device away and frantically tried to purge the possible scandalous pictures of his precious Henry.

“And do you dare save any of those pictures, Leviathan.” Lucifer coldly threatened.

“Yeah unless you’re going to share them with the rest of us~”

“DARMARE!!!*”

*Shut the fuck up! In Japanese

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marley sighed happily as her weary bones were soaked in her own tub. Taking deep breaths, she took in the residue of sea air from her open bathroom window. However, she suddenly felt her skin itching as if someone was poking her with a dull pencil, causing her to leave the bathroom with a sigh. Wrapping herself in her bathrobe, Marley made her way to the ground level of her home where the younglings continued to poke at her resting pelt. 

“Can you all knock it off, I’m trying to relax!”

“Sorry, but it’s so weird. What happened to your pelt?”  

“If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“True but you’ve never been gone that long before.”

“And your pelt is all fancy now. Did you trade in your old one? I wanna new skin.”

Marley chuckled as she took her pelt in hand and sat on the couch while inviting her young interrogators to join her. She then leaned back and closed her eyes.

“So where’s Nixie?”

“They went to get takeout and don’t change the subject. You left for a long time, you didn’t bring any treasure back and your pelt is completely different, so you better start talking, Marley.”

Marley sighed again as she stroke her black and white fur. She opened her eyes only to be greeted by curious eyes.

“Fine, geez, you guys are worse than seagulls. But, I’ll tell you the story when Nixie gets back with the food. For now, I’ll just give you the title.”

“And that is?”

Marley smirked happily.

“Mochi in the realm of Geeks.”

[ka-za-ri]

Personal Assistant Pt. 4

Oh hey there. I’m surprised you’re still here. I guess it’s time for some more kinky smut. If you’ve been waiting for demon sex, here it is! *Will Smith poses* Can I get a Hell yeah! If you’re into that? Taglist at the end

Part 1: here Part 2: here Part 3: here Part 5: here Part 6: here Part 7: here Crossposted on Ao3: here

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader Wordcount: 4,800 ish Genre: Filthy fucking. Tags: Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Toys, body worship, demon sex, knotting, floor sex, brief cunnilingus Summary: After getting your numbers back up, it's time to discuss a pay raise and maybe grace you with some new knowledge.

Pay Raise

Humans only ever believed what they saw; and Lucifer planned to make you a believer. 

The problematic tendencies you had fallen into were quickly corrected. Through sheer force of your willpower alone, you managed to bring your numbers back up within a month and a half. It was no easy task as Lucifer still loved to start his weekends with a little after work rendezvous. So, drastic changes needed to be made quickly to keep him satisfied. While on the clock, you were laser focused, pushing back every lewd thought you had, letting your body react while your mind worked. You needed to separate and compartmentalize work from pleasure. If Lucifer could do it, you could do it too.  Seeing your improvement come about so quickly had him pleasantly surprised and the discussion of a proper pay raise needed to be had. 

He had gone in and scheduled another meeting with him at the end of the day a couple months after your performance review. Like the last time, it would take  up the last couple of hours you had on the clock and you expected it to last a few hours past that as well. Surprisingly, he had sent you an email just as you started to wrap up your work to remind you of your meeting. When you opened it up and saw the message, you couldn’t help but smile a little. It was so him.

Make sure you’re properly prepared for the meeting and be on time. 

To anyone else, the words on your screen would seem like a mundane reminder to bring something to write with and to be punctual for your meeting. However, everything Lucifer did had a purpose and you knew the underlying meaning of his succinct message. Understanding what you had to do, you rushed the last bit of work you had to accomplish. He wanted you to be prepared and that meant that you needed a few extra minutes before the meeting to ensure both your holes were empty and ready to be used as he saw fit. 

You stared at the bathroom mirror, face warm from seeing your most intimate parts reflected in it while you pulled the toys of the day out. You carefully washed them with warm water, even if it was getting dangerously close to the appointed time, it would be a shame if you couldn’t properly care for the precious gifts Lucifer graced you with. Everything he handed you felt sacred, and to disrespect him by not ritualistically washing and drying your toys after use left you feeling guilty. If you arrived a little late because of that, you hoped he would show mercy. Likely not… but it’s not that bad to get punished...

When you stepped back out onto the main office space, you noticed that it was significantly darker than usual. Normally, the room would be glowing a warm orange from the setting sun as the day drew to a close. However, during the time you were in the bathroom, he had drawn all the shades to block out the light. A gray gloom fell over the two of you and you suddenly felt an inkling of fear crawl up your spine. 

He was staring off into the distance, facing the windows as if he was watching the city. But, with the shades down, he was really looking at nothing. He seemed to be deep in thought while he waited for you to arrive. 

Today would be the ultimate  test of your trust in him. 

“I’m here for the 3 o’clock meeting, Lucifer.” You spoke up after the silence between the two of you grew too heavy for you to bear. 

“Right on time. Take a seat.” He didn’t turn to see you, his gaze and demeanor rather distant. 

The fear you felt earlier came back. Your mind raced, wondering if you had disappointed him somehow. The somber mood only made you worry that he was gearing up for the ‘you’re fired’ talk. The last time a meeting like this happened, you had found yourself sitting on his cock for hours while he rattled on about reports. You could only pray that this meeting would somehow have the same outcome. 

“My apologies for the darkness. I’ve had a bit of a headache and the light makes it worse.” He explained, finally putting your worries at ease and he moved to his seat at his desk. “I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all. I hope you’ll overcome it quickly.” You smiled softly, glad to know that he was still susceptible to the typical aches and pains of a normal human. Even if he seemed to be a supernatural being at times with how composed he was, you knew he was still human deep down. “What would you like to talk about?” 

“Numbers.” Lucifer stated plainly, pulling out your file. “It’s been a rather busy month for you, has it not? I would like to check in.” 

“Well, you know how it is during this time of the year. Everyone is trying to get all the supplies they need for school and orders are flying off the shelves faster than some of our facilities can fulfill them.” 

He nodded, writing something down on a separate notebook he kept at the side of his desk while you spoke. “Yes, the hiring and training set up a few months prior helped; but, nothing really prepared us to experience such growth in such a short amount of time.” 

“It was an unexpected spike, but if I remember correctly, marketing has also been working on expanding the network of advertisements on all platforms. Your reach is a lot larger than it ever has been.” 

“And even with all this new work, you managed to bring your numbers up as I had asked you to. Very good.” He pointed out the improved data and compared the past two months to the time he had last spoken to you about your dip in performance.”Now that you’re on top of things, I expect you to stay there. You’re on track to keeping those numbers up and I’d like to see you stay diligent, even when things get slower.” He paused, letting you take in the information before he moved to the next point he wanted to get to. “I’m very proud to see that you’ve kept up with everything despite the sudden growth and spike in work. It might be time for a pay raise, don’t you think?”

You blinked, not expecting to have this kind of talk until you had been with the company for at least a year and a half. To have it brought up just a little over six months in your tenure felt too short; yet the pride you felt from meeting his expectations overrode any discomfort you had. “I’m happy with whatever decision you make.” You said truthfully. 

“Well, with higher pay comes higher expectations. Do you think you can live up to them?” 

“Guide me, and I’ll do whatever it is you need.” you replied confidently. It didn’t matter if the request pertained to work or your after hour services. You were willing to go to Hell and back for this man. Normally, you would have been alarmed to be this loyal to someone you had only met half a year ago; but having spent so much time around him, you knew you could count on him no matter what decision he made. 

“Do you trust me?” The question felt a little odd, but not entirely out of place.

“Absolutely.” 

He gauged your reaction, searching for any fault in your confidence. Your heart beat fast as the silence stretched on and he tested the waters even further. Finally he broke eye contact with you and got up from his desk, he beckoned you to follow him to a larger, emptier space. “If you trust me as you say you do, then do not be afraid.” 

You struggled to understand what he was saying. For a moment you felt like you couldn’t see properly, Lucifer’s entire being seemed to disappear behind a haze and shift dramatically. Blinking rapidly to try to fix whatever was going on with your eyes; you tried to get a better look at him again. Once your vision cleared, Lucifer’s image was no longer the one you were used to seeing on a day to day basis. Yelping in surprise, you fell back, trying to comprehend what just happened. 

“Do not be afraid.” 

“I’m not… I’m not scared.” you stuttered. This image, this version of him was familiar to you. As shocking as it was to see now, there was a sense of familiarity. You knew this version of him as an illusion; but, for many times as you blinked, he remained the same. The great horns that crowned his head and the massive wings that surrounded him didn’t go away no matter how hard you rubbed your eyes and shook your head in disbelief. 

You thought back to the night you signed your contract, how you had sworn you saw something in the reflection of the window. That red glint in his eyes you had thought was a trick of the light was actually natural. What you thought had been an illusion had been his true form all along. 

Even his clothes had changed to fit this form of his. He was swathed in a long black and red tailcoat that fit snugly over the tailored suit he wore. The embroidered design on the coat and at his collar made your heart flutter. It matched the necklace he had given you months prior. The red that lined the coat and the capelet on his shoulders were an exact match to the lipstick you wore. All along, signs of his true self had been all around you and you hadn’t noticed a thing.

Everything clicked at once in your brain. His name, the contract, the sway he had over you. You had willingly made a deal to work with the devil himself. That realization should have had you screaming for mercy and for a return of your soul; yet that thought never crossed your mind. All you could think of was just how magnificent he was. 

You wanted to get up, but your body seemed to lack the strength to hold you upright. He stood still, watching your every move. Even if you claimed you weren’t scared, your body wouldn’t stop shaking in the wake of his demonic form. He waited patiently for you to gather your wits, knowing how shocked you must be to realize this reality. Lucifer was almost ashamed that he had shown his true form to you without much warning. However; there was no delicate way to go about it, and there were needs that he wanted to sate which could only be accomplished in his true form. 

“This… this is all real…” You breathed, finally at least getting enough strength back to get on your knees. “I’m not dreaming?” 

He stepped closer to you so you could clutch onto his clothes and pull yourself back up. “Does it feel real to you?” He asked softly, his gaze never leaving you as you struggled like a newly born lamb to stand again.

“Very real.” You determined once you were back on your feet and able to gaze directly into his eyes. He’s beautiful. Carefully, you reached up to touch his face, stroking his soft skin and his silky hair. The familiarity of his warm skin under your fingers brought a calm over your body. Still, it was hard to believe and your touches tracked upwards towards his horns. “May I?” You asked tentatively before you touched them. 

“You may.” He permitted, tilting his head to the side so you could properly touch them. You gently ran your hand through the ribbed texture of the hard horns, marveling at their sheen and how smooth they were. It was easy to be entranced by the unique curved shape they formed and you spent several minutes mindlessly tracing them from where they sprouted from his skull to their pointed tips. He stayed perfectly still for you the whole time, letting you soak it all in. Carefully standing on tiptoe, you placed a soft kiss on them, leaving red lipstick marks across them. He subdued a shudder, but let you continu, allowing you to explore him in a rare show of vulnerability. 

“May I…” You started to ask again, distracted by his wings which fluttered softly whenever your touches tickled his senses just right. You reached out to them, wondering if they were as soft as they looked. 

“You may.” he said softly, giving you permission to walk around him and caress the dark feathers. The ensemble he wore was so cleverly made, allowing his wings full range of motion while also being easy to remove thanks to some carefully hidden buckles and ties which nestled at the base of each pair of his wings. You traced the line his spine made, barely brushing past the feathery appendages. You couldn’t see his expression from where you were, but you could feel his muscles tense. Lucifer didn’t stop you though, letting you carry on and examine his body as you needed. 

Your fingers traced the feathers, amazed at how they shimmered in the dim light, refracting bits of green and gold whenever they fluttered. The right at the base, the softest black down sprouted from his skin and flowed into the wings. Burying your fingers there, you sighed in content, loving the velvety texture of the small feathers as they tickled your hand. Lucifer visibly shivered, the base of his wings were particularly sensitive. The way you caressed them so gently sent jolts of pleasure right to his groin. He couldn’t stop you though, not when you were stroking those sensitive spots so innocently in your inspection of his demon form. He couldn’t bring himself to ruin the moment with his growing hard on. You heard him take deep breaths, calming his body as he stayed still for you. 

You circled around to him again, wide-eyed and blushing. He trusted you enough to show you this. Out of all the people in the world, you were the one privileged with the knowledge of what your boss truly looked like. 

“Are you afraid?” he asked once you were in front of him. 

“No…” You answered softly, placing a hesitant kiss on your lips. “You’re beautiful.” 

He liked your answer, responding to your kiss and deepening it. Lucifer pulled your close, his hand resting at the back of your head and keeping you flush against him. You could feel his hard cock press against your thigh and the intimacy of the moment was heightened. The kisses you shared were uncharacteristically soft, as if he was holding back his real desires from you. You were so used to him simply taking anything he wanted from you that the gentleness had your mind swimming in the most pleasant way. “If… I may…” You said breathlessly once the kisses broke. You placed your finger on the clasps that held his capelet in place, and patiently waited for his permission. 

“Yes, you may.” 

You smiled softly; there was nothing but adoration in your eyes as you worked his clothes off of him. The capelet fell away with little effort. The buttons to his tailcoat came next. He assisted you in undoing the buckles and ties at his back. Once those were undone, the rest of the garment came off with ease. All the ornate accessories he wore were carefully removed and placed on the desk. Everything you touched was sacred. Everything your hand passed was blessed to be in his presence and you were the one privileged enough to have the pleasure of taking it off of him. 

Each piece of clothing landed on the floor in a pile next to the two of you. After the long coat came his gloves which hid long, red nails underneath. You blushed when you noticed that once again, it was the same shade of red you wore every day on your lips. You made quick work of the skin tight undershirt he wore; the last thing that stood before you and his bare skin. Once that joined the rest of his clothes on the floor, you were free to explore him again as you wished. 

You didn’t even ask permission this time. It was the first time he had ever allowed you to remove this many clothes off of him. The treat of seeing his whole torso bare and framed by those magnificent black wings of his was practically a religious experience. You couldn’t help but want to kiss every inch of his skin. Your hand traced the toned muscles of his abs, trailing up to his chest where his nipples were. Keeping eye contact with him, you ran your tongue across them, watching how hard it was for him to keep his composure the whole time. You wanted to spend every second he allowed worshiping the perfect specimen in front of you. Taking his nipple in between your teeth, you swiped your tongue across it, gaining a hiss which turned into a soft moan. He laced his hands into your hair, encouraging you to keep going. Your hand joined your tongue at his chest, pinching and teasing his other nipple.

Your free hand moved down lower to the bulge at his pants and stroked him through the fabric. You would get there in due time; but your focus was on what was already revealed and you hadn’t had enough of that yet. Kissing across his chest, you sucked at his other nipple, moaning softly against his skin, you let the vibrations from that noise aide in pleasuring him. “Very good…” He murmured softly, his hands still laced in your hair and tugging at it slightly. “You may continue…” 

At his request, you knelt down, coming face to face with his crotch and you swallowed. He stopped you before you got to working his belt off of him. “I… I will have changed there too.” he warned. 

“I will not be afraid.” You reassured, deftly unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the side. You took your time in undoing the button and the zipper. The anticipation of what he was hiding was making you wet. How would it feel to be filled with this version of Lucifer? How would your pussy like his demon cock? You licked your lips unconsciously as you pulled the zipper down and revealed the outline of his cock pressed up against his boxers. Seeing the tantalizing silhouette of what was to come made you eagerly pull the rest of his pants off and tossing it on top of the ever growing pile of clothes. In a moment of awkward maneuvering when you struggled to get his pants past his ankles, Lucifer also assisted you in taking off his socks and shoes. 

He only had his boxers left before he was completely nude. Even if you were excited to see what his cock looked like, you wanted to still show appreciation to what you had unveiled. Kissing up his thighs, you breathed deeply to take in his scent. His unique musk hadn’t changed at all. He was still the Lucifer you knew and trusted. Lovingly, you nuzzled the massive package he sported at his crotch. A bead of precum soaked through the fabric and you lapped at it Getting a taste of him, you smiled to yourself, noticing that his unique flavor was also the same as it had always been. 

Embracing his thighs, you hungrily groped his clothed ass while you licked up and down his shaft through the fabric of his boxers. Your saliva wet the fabric, enhancing the outline of his cock even more, molding it to every ridge and bump. By the time you were ready to take off his boxers, it was soaked by your drool and a mixture of his cum. 

Getting to the final reveal of his cock was better than you had ever expected. It was a magnificent thing. Long and hard, it curved upwards with deep ridges running all along the length. At the base, an impressive muscular knot bulged and pulsed which then seamlessly lead down to his balls. You couldn’t help but trace your finger along every detail, marveling at it and fantasizing about taking it all in you. Part of you wanted to also run your tongue across his length, but his hand in your hair stopped you before you could take the tapered tip into your mouth. Above you, you heard Lucifer hiss in pleasure, thrusting into your touches, just as eager as you were to get to the best part of the evening. “No. Not this time.” He said firmly; and you obliged, only touching him with your fingers until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

The pile of clothes you made served to be an excellent cushion against the cold floor. He laid you on top, smiling devilishly now that you had your fill. “Now… it’s my turn.” He said. “May I?” 

“Yes… You may.” You said, already lifting your skirt up and spreading your legs wide for him. 

It took no effort at all for his sharp nails to cut through the thin fabric of your panties. Truthfully, he wanted to rip all your clothes off of you; but then that would make your journey back home rather problematic. So, he had to settle for the pleasure of tearing your panties to shreds, exposing your soaking pussy to the cool air. It was his turn to lick his lips and savor the beautiful sight before him. 

Dipping down between your legs, he licked at your labia, lapping up your essence and taking in your unique scent. The feeling of his hot tongue playing at your sensitive folds was mind blowing and your hands flew to his head between your legs, gripping the horns hard to encourage him to go further. You could hear him chuckle, his body shaking slightly in the action and he complied, if only a little bit. He pressed the flat of his tongue across your slit, parting it open to freely lap at your juices and stopped to swirl the tip of his tongue at your clit making your whine and grip at his horns even harder. 

You didn’t realize just how strong your grip on his horns had been until he had to pry your aching fingers off of them as soon as he was satisfied with tasting you. “Are you afraid?” He asked, pulling away from you to line the tip of his cock at your entrance. Just feeling the tip part your lips had you quivering in anticipation. 

“No.” You reassured him. “I want you… all of you.” 

He took his time entering you, wanting you to feel every detail of his cock as it slid into you. You arched your back, already writhing in pleasure at the first inch. He filled you in a way you never felt before. No human cock or toy could ever replicate the sensations he was giving you.You could feel everything, every curve and ridge of his glorious dick as he entered you. The girth of it was perfect, stretching you full while the length and curvature of his cock rubbed against your g-spot with every inch that entered you. “You will have all of me… soon.” He promised. “But first. Let’s see how you handle me like this.” 

His pace was slow at first, making sure not to hurt you as you became accustomed to being fucked by his demonic cock. Every pass was a new experience in sensations. You clawed fruitlessly at the tiles on the floor as you gasped his name with every thrust he gave you. This had to be what it felt like to be in heaven. If you could choose a god to pray to, it would be Lucifer and his cock would be the temple you worshiped at. 

You could still tell he was being careful with you; and that wouldn’t do. As much as you appreciated this soft side of him, you knew the control he craved. “Take… Take me.” You begged. “Use me as you like…” 

At your request, something in him snapped and the languid pace he first set was broken in favor of a rougher and faster one. A pace that could satisfy a demon. Your insides clenched and fluttered erratically, not sure how to take the brutal fucking he was giving you. As your mind short-circuited, you vaguely felt him lift your leg up, propping it on his shoulder to get better leverage. 

And that was the moment you saw stars. Every trust was pure bliss, you were cumming uncontrollably around his cock, spasming and begging for more at the same time. His sharp nails dug into your flesh, adding yet another layer of sensations for you to experience. The top of his hard knot caught at your entrance with the new angle and you could feel your cunt stretch out even more to accept him. 

Tears streamed freely down your face as you lost count of how many times his cock had made you orgasm. Yet you still hadn’t felt his knot buried in you yet. “Lucifer… please.. I want all of you…” You whined. You weren’t sure how many more times you could cum before you passed out. At least before that happened, you wanted to experience fully accepting him. 

He slowed down to almost a full stop and let you take a few deep breaths. As you calmed your body down from the high of so many orgasms back to back, he pushed further into you. You had thought the incessant stretch you felt from the top of his knot when he was fucking you would be the worst of it; but you were sorely mistaken. “Keep breathing... “ he said, coaching you into slow, even breaths while he continued to cram his whole length into you. “In and out… just like that… You will have all of me soon.” 

He reached up to your face, brushing stray strands of hair away, watching your expression change from one of strained discomfort to one of pleasure as his knot finally slipped all the way into you, snug and tight at your entrance. “Very good…” He praised, kissing you softly and letting your mind process what you had just done. 

Looking down, seeing your pussy stuffed so full with his cock, his knot pulsed in need and he slowly rutted into you, his eyelids fluttering at being engulfed in your heat. The image of your cunt stretched and strained around his massive member for the first time would be burned into his memory forever. As soon as he felt your body fully relax into the experience, he started to rut into you harder, rocking back and forth in short burst, making you scream his name while he chased his release that was so close 

“Who do you belong to?” He asked breathlessly, sweat plastering his hair to his face. His whole body tensed, waiting for your answer. As soon as he had it, he knew it would be the end for him. 

“You! You do, Sir!” You screamed, arching your back and shuddering at being so filled. 

“Who?” He growled, digging his nails into your thighs and leaving deep marks on your skin. 

“L-Lucifer!” You yelled, you voice hoarse from all the lewd sounds you had made that night. 

That was it, that was what broke him. With one last trust, he pushed himself into you as deeply as he could, filling you with his seed, cum seeming to endlessly stream out of him in spurts. He bent over you, biting you at the juncture of your neck and collarbone, his fangs breaking skin and drawing blood. He lapped greedily at it, memorizing the unique tang to your blood and finally, was satiated in a way he hadn’t been in years. 

Your whole body collapsed onto the pile of clothes at your final orgasm, your vision becoming white for a few moments before you slowly drifted back into reality. He continued to empty himself into you in spurts, his seed overflowed and seeped down your thighs, but you didn’t care. 

“And the pact has been made…” He murmured softly, laying down at your side, protectively wrapping his wings around you. 

“Does that mean you have my soul now?” You asked tiredly. You could feel yourself drifting and wondered if you could take a small nap before taking the last train home. 

“Would you like to have it back?” 

“No.” You said confidently, snuggling up against him, making him hiss in pleasure as your body shifted and he was still buried inside of you. “I signed a contract with you a long time ago if I remember correctly.” 

“That’s right. You were mine all along.” He said chuckling softly and holding you close.

He never needed to make a believer out of you. You had believed him all along.

Taglist: @ptv-hades

[laulink]

After listening to Friend (and crying. A lot.), I decided to try my hand at analysing the song’s lyrics and what they could possible mean for Penny, Ruby, and the story going forward. So let’s get started.

Darkness like Midnight

Moonless there’s no light

Another lonely day

Is ending

Searching forever

Waiting but never finding

The only thing

I dream of

The warmth of a smile

That stays for a while

The face of a friend

That won’t leave

Alright, that’s a lot to begin with, but the whole segment can only, truly be understood after hearing those last four lines, so let’s break it down.

The first two thirds of this part is about Penny’s life before she met Ruby. She was all alone, every day, as “another lonely day” implies. This loneliness is characterised by darkness, the moonless night at the end of the lonely day, meaning that even at night, Penny finds no light to brighten up her existence.

The mention of “Midnight” is interesting here, because Midnight is the title of the episode in which we discover Cinder’s backstory and this episode is, to say the least, quite dark. Plus, there are some parallels to be drawn between Cinder and Penny : both of them have been chosen by authority figures (Salem and James) and given a destiny and a role by those same figures (Protector of Mantle, destined to save the world, for Penny and the Destroyer of Humanity, destined to bring the current world of Remnant to an end by helping Salem with her plans and gathering the Maiden powers for Cinder). According to those first few lines, we could also parallel their upbringing : both of them were alone with no friends for a long time, then one person appeared and brightened up their existence (Ruby and Rhodes), going so far as to give Penny and Cinder hope that they could escape the chains restraining them and start making their own choices (staying at Beacon for Penny and becoming a Huntress for Cinder).

In other words, you could say that, in this first line, Penny is telling us that she was in a similar place to Cinder when Cinder was a child. Of course, I expect Penny’s needs were attended to and she was most likely not a victim of physical abuse like Cinder was, but the lack of friends, the loneliness and the restraints around them and their every movement is certainly similar.

Then comes the last third of this first extract, the one about the thing Penny chases : a friend who would stay by her side and smile with her. The last two lines, “The face of a friend/That won’t leave” seems to imply that Penny has some semblance of friend already, but that the friend(s) in question leave and don’t stick around long enough for the relationship to properly develop and be given meaning to.

This line made me think of Ciel Soleil, to be honest. Ciel was Penny’s “teammate” during the Vytal Festival, yet they weren’t seen together all that often, mostly right before, during and after the match against team CRDL. Despite this, Ciel was obviously very much aware of Penny’s strength and abilities, having even planned for their double match to end in less than a minute (if I remember correctly). That means that Ciel saw Penny fight a few times and, if you add that to the fact that James couldn’t have just added her to a random team for the Festival with no explanation whatsoever to the team or their classmates, that probably means Penny more or less attended Atlas Academy with Ciel and two other teammates, so her presence in the Festival wouldn’t be strange.

However, we know Atlas Academy’s stance on friendships among teams and we saw how socially unaware Penny was during her first meeting with Team RWBY and how happy she was to find someone who would call her a friend. So it isn’t a stretch to think that none of Penny’s teammates were really friendly to her, keeping their relationships professional, to her dismay.

Moving on !

I heard a song once

It posed this point of view

That wishes made on stars 

Are likely to come true

So here’s my secret

At bedtime every night

I searched the sky and hoped to find 

A star who’d send a light

To me

The one thing I need

Just one kind soul

With a heart of gold

Then my dreams became real

And I finally feel not alone

Do hugs always make you feel this warm ?

A big chunk again, but this one will be easier to break down.

This part of the song tells us that Penny’s dream was to have a friend, even “Just one kind soul” to ease the loneliness. Her best bet for that was to make a wish on a star and yeah, that’s awfully cute, because all of us, when we were kids, were told that kind of story, but it’s also sad that Penny’s only hope to find a friend was to be granted a miracle from a star far away. And, given that the previous part of the song mentioned a dark night sky with no light (“Moonless, there’s no light”), we also know that there weren’t a lot of stars for Penny to wish on, or in other words, that her chances of her wish being granted were very small.

However, the miracle happened ! Ruby appeared and made Penny’s dream come true ! The one kind soul with a heart of gold who would be her friend !

The line about hugs making you feel warm doesn’t really fit in the narrative of their encounter and Ruby’s impact on Penny’s life, however, since the first time Penny asked Ruby this question was in V8, so much later in their relationship. To me, it mainly serves as the first line to really establish, with no possible doubt, that this song is sung from Penny’s point of view and that the friend she is referencing is Ruby, as this question is extremely specific and exclusive to the two of them.

My dreams came true

The day that you appeared

And called me “friend”

An answered prayer

A chance to

Share the world

To be a girl

Who finally felt alive

Refrain ! It’s all about how Ruby’s appearance indeed made Penny’s dreams a reality : she got a friend, someone she could explore the world with, talk to about it, ask questions to and discuss with, but most of all, someone with whom she could finally feel like a girl instead of a weapon, a living being instead of a machine. We know, from her reveal in V2, that Penny was very self-conscious and uncertain of her own humanity, that she knew a lot of people would see her as nothing but a robot and that she was half-believing they would be right to. Her relief when Ruby assured her she was a real girl was “crushing”, to say the least x)

And this feeling of being real and alive, she got it all thanks to Ruby and Ruby alone. None of the other heroes would have tried to become her friend if not for Ruby, so she’s really the starting point of almost all of Penny’s most important relationships.

I’m so excited

We’ll do so many friendship things

Paint our nails, try on clothes, talk about cute boys

Attached but not by Strings

Another callback to V1 with “Paint our nails, try on clothes, talk about cute boys”. The nostalgia is hitting hard. But, most importantly, we have our second V8 title : Strings. The episode in which Penny’s “strings”, the ones linking her to her swords, her robot body itself, reminded us that her allusion is Pinocchio, a puppet who was given life to, but who was still a puppet for most of the movie. Penny is a living being, but her robotic body was hackable, and because of that Watts was able to use a string (the connection between her and her swords) to plant a virus inside of her, starting her descent toward her tragic end.

In the context of this song though, the meaning of this word is not quite so dark. Penny is speaking from her V1 point of view, the point of view of a girl who just met her first friend, while all her previous relationships were mainly based on her condition as the first synthetic being able to produce an aura : the soldiers keeping watch over her because she’s a precious project, the scientists working on her so she could achieve her maximum potential, Ironwood who chose the Penny project over all others so the result of this project would protect and save the world... Penny was attached to all of them and they were all attached to her, but not by feelings : by the strings of work and duty, in both ways. Ruby was the first person who attached herself to Penny and let Penny attach herself to her for other reasons, purely out of affection and desire to be friends. She was the first person Penny was free to attach herself to as well : one of the first choices Penny really made for herself. No strings attached, yet still together because they both want to be.

And when you’ve got problems

Whoa ! Then I’ve got problems too

You’ll never face this world alone 

I’ll be right here it’s you

And me

Protectors of each other’s what we’ll be

First two lines are about Penny being ready to share her friend’s burdens, as friends tend to do, and this sentiment motivates the promise she makes in the next four lines, but here’s the thing : we’re still hearing Penny’s thoughts and point of view from V1. And since V1, she’s failed to make good on this promise twice : at the end of V3 and now at the end of V8, by dying, leaving Ruby alone to fend for herself, no “protector” there to guard her back and share her burdens with. Despite her best intentions, Penny cannot make good on the promise she seems to have made Ruby (or internally made, most likely) back in V1. 

Now, that’s the pessimistic opinion. If you look at it from a more optimistic point of view, you could say the exact opposite thing, at least when it comes to her V3 death : Penny went so far as to overcome death to come back in V7 and by Ruby’s side. She’s done it once, and you can expect that girl to do it a second time, because she made a promise to her friend and she’s going to keep it.

You saw my soul

Through the nuts and bolts

You’re the friend I can trust

Helped me see I’m not just a machine

And is this what “All the feels” mean ?

And now we are entering the realm of V2 references ! Basically just a retelling of Penny’s big reveal and all the times Ruby has reassured her that she’s a real girl since that first time, though to be honest, I’m not sure where the last line comes from. I don’t remember hearing either of them talking about “all the feels” and even my digging in V1, 2 and 3 didn’t help, so if anyone has an idea, hit me up, ‘cause this has me stumped.

I’ve been combat-ready since the day Dad made me

Now I’ll fight for something more

Might sound wholesome but strangely

I’ve got friends I’m fighting for

This part is now about the events of V7 and 8, I believe. Everyone was friendly to Penny back in V2 and 3, after her help at the docks, but I am not certain they would have considered each other actual friends, with how little time Penny was able to spend with them, aside from Ruby. So her referring to the multiple friends she is now fighting for fits more with her situation and relationships from V7 and 8 as well as character arc in those volumes, especially since she never fought for her friends in earlier volumes (with the exception of the fight at the docks, but even then she was fighting mostly for Ruby, not really for the others). In the last two volumes however, especially V8, she had to choose between her allegiance to the military and the safety of the people she cared about, her friends as well as the people of Mantle.

But I found that humanity

It came with sacrifice, a pact

To shield you from the wicked even if I can’t

Live for real it was worth it to know you

And now we are hearing Penny’s point of view in her last moments in V8 : the moment she sacrificed herself and died a second time.

As I understand it, Penny’s humanity, her feelings, her love for her friends, is what pushed her to sacrifice herself : because she cared for them, she didn’t want them to die at Cinder’s hands, and she knew that would be what would happen if Cinder got both sets of Maiden powers : she would be unstoppable by non-Maiden and non-SEW characters. So, to “shield [her friends, and especially Ruby] from the wicked (Cinder and Salem)”, she decides to sacrifice herself to make sure that the Winter Maiden powers end up in good hands. She makes this decision knowing that she is sacrificing her life and won’t be able to live “for real”. I think this means that a part of her will survive, the part of her who will live on in Winter (and, to some extent, the part of her that will stay alive in her friends’ hearts), so she will “live on”, if only her memory and will, but even if she can’t have a life of her own, she doesn’t regret sacrificing her existence if it means protecting her friends, and especially Ruby, because knowing Ruby had made her life worthwhile.

What Penny is saying is that, if she could choose between staying alive in a world where she never met Ruby and dying in this world where they became friends, she would choose becoming Ruby’s friend and dying, because their friendship is what made life worth living for Penny.

My dreams came true

The day that you appeared

And called me “friend”

An answered prayer

A chance to

Share the world

To be a girl

Who finally felt alive

We end the song on the refrain, which isn’t all that uncommon, but has a bittersweet taste after the last part of the song : just after Penny says that she doesn’t regret dying if it means saving her friends, because Ruby made her life worthwhile, the refrain reminds us that having a friend was her dream, what she prayed for every night, the source of every good thing in her life and the one thing that made her feel alive.

So, what does this song mean for Penny And Ruby’s characters now and going forward ?

For Ruby, who was the recipient of the song, it’s hard to tell, but I think that the lines about Ruby and Penny being there for and protecting each other give us a hint : Penny failed to make good on her promise for the second time now and left Ruby alone, again. If Ruby’s feelings for Penny are half as strong as Penny’s feelings for her were, this is going to break her, especially now, after everything Ruby went through in just two days and the small breakdown she had with Yang a couple of episodes ago. Ruby is in an emotionally vulnerable state at the moment, she can’t run from her trauma and not address it like she usually does, and she will have to face whatever feelings Penny’s death will ignite in her. Considering her horror and denial when Penny asked her to kill her and take the Maiden powers, learning that Penny still died, after all their efforts to save her, is going to do a number on her.

For Penny and her arc, it is hard to say. On one hand, the end of the song make it sound like Penny is alright and at peace with her death and its circumstances, that she considers it a necessary sacrifice to save her friends, just like what Vine did in the same episode. Both of them were at peace with this decision because they knew it would take an immediate, extreme danger away from their friends and keep them safe for a while. On the other hand, there is still this promise that Penny made to herself/Ruby that she’d always be by Ruby’s side to help her face the world and her problems and the fact that she made good on that promise before by coming back to life, something that Ruby didn’t expect at all, beating the odds once, meaning she might be able to beat them again. It is odd to have a song containing this promise play right after a scene making it clear that the promise was broken for the second time and might not get fixed again if the intent was not to have Penny come back and make good on it once more.

I’ve seen the argument being made that the song is cheery and happy, unlike Cold which sounded like a eulogy, and that this difference might hint toward Penny coming back to life. However, this argument doesn’t seem viable to me because the song, as we’ve seen, focuses on all the happiness that Ruby brought to Penny’s life, how thankful Penny is for it, how that happiness made Penny’s sacrifice worth it and how this brought her peace instead of anguish and regrets. Not to mention that Cold was a song from the point of view of the survivors, not the one who had died : I’m pretty sure that if Friend had been from Ruby’s point of view after learning about Penny’s death, it would have been far less cheery.

So I really don’t know what it all means for Penny, except that her feelings for Ruby are incredibly strong and might be the key to her revival this time, if it happens.

[nelllraiser]

adventures in guilt | dave & nell

TIMING: shortly after nell summoned a shark-jellyfish demon. PARTIES: @seizethecarpe and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: dave returns the jacket nell forgot on the boat, and the two try to navigate a life with guilt. CONTENT: sibling death mentions.

Dave carefully folded down the coat over his arm, smoothing out the material idly. That wasn’t the full reason, the texture of the scales under his fingers was captivating, more interesting than anything else nearby. But this was the college campus, Dave wasn’t sure he would want to touch anything else, the risk of beer stickiness on everything was too damn high. It was drizzling, cool gusts biting the needles off of nearby trees and blowing them around the park bench. As unbothered as he was by the cold, Dave hated icy winds. The sooner the ‘caster showed up, the better. He waved at her when he spotted her, standing up from the bench. This’d be interesting. 

Generally Nell didn’t come to campus this early. Her visits to the university mostly consisted of visits to her friends, and the occasional sleuthing for a bounty, but classes hadn’t even begun yet for the day. Thankfully she hadn’t overslept, because the witch hadn’t slumbered in the first place. With Bea gone to New York, the house was just herself and Luce, and far too much like it had been when their third sister had been struck down, existing only as a ghost. It made for restless nights that came more often than they already had, though Nell had managed to fill a good amount of them with work. As Dave came into sight, Nell felt the familiar sensation of guilt flooding her stomach, a feeling that hadn’t left her since the accidental deaths she’d caused— but one she’d learned how to manage in a way that allowed her to function rather than wallow. Unfortunately the sight of the selkie brought all the regrets of that day back the instant she set eyes on him, though she squared her shoulders in sheer refusal of letting them overwhelm her. Finally getting within speaking distance, she gave the man a nod before speaking. “Hey.” Shit, what else was she supposed to say? There had to be something else, right? “Thanks for keeping my jacket.”

“Wasn’t about to do anything else with it,” Dave said, handing it over, scrutinising her with a trademark scowl, that did little to show what he was really thinking. Somehow, she looked older now than the last time they’d met, and he knew how that kind of guilt could eat at someone’s youth in the worst possible ways. But he also knew that the younger you were, the more important it was to be able to hide that kind of shit, and he had no doubt that plenty of her younger friends didn’t see it at all. “You holding up alright?”

Under any other circumstance Nell might have jokingly asked about whether or not the jacket was his color, or if he’d sneaked one single try on. Nevermind the fact that she was fairly certain he wouldn’t even be able to get his arm into the sleeves of the tiny jacket. Instead, she just accepted the jacket wordlessly before layering it over the sweater she was already wearing. Yet another thing she hadn’t inherited along with her lack of fire abilities was the heightened body temperature that went along with it, and Nell was almost endlessly cold in the winters of Maine. His question caught her wholly off-guard, rather convinced that he still thought her some idiotic, and guitless spellcaster who didn’t know what she was doing, and didn’t care to think beyond that. Surprise flickered ever so briefly over her features before it was quickly replaced with a frown, and suspiciously drawn eyebrows. “I’m not the one who got eaten by a demon shark.” She wasn’t about to admit the truth to a man who’d witnessed one of her greatest mistakes when she barely admitted it to herself.

“No. But I know a thing or two about being eaten by guilt,” Dave replied slowly, like the words were being dragged out of him. That he knew he could offer her the comfort that people who hadn’t been there couldn’t. He still wasn’t convinced she deserved it. He wasn’t convinced power like that, the kind that was at once a tempest and could summon a tempest, ought to be allowed to live. But that sorta shit wasn’t his call to make, not unless she was deliberately slaughtering people. Hell, in a town like this, there was probably some sort of person who specialised in ‘casters. 

Nell watched the man with a guarded gaze, as if trying to see below his exterior to see what secrets or well-hidden intentions were hidden underneath the apparent concern he was now exhibiting. Though even calling it concern might be a bit of a stretch. His words seemed reluctant— almost as unwillingly spoken as her reply was. “And you think that’s what’s happening to me?” Nevermind that it was the truth. Beyond her inability to properly express herself was the question of why he was bothering with her in the first place. WIth the way he’d reacted on the boat paired with his attempts to pin her against the railing- she’d thought he’d want to get in and out of this situation as quickly as possible.

 “Don’t know. It’s why I’m asking. Doesn’t mean you gotta answer.” Dave replied with an off handed shrug tracing his fingers over the grain of the bench. The arm of the bench had been smashed off once or twice before, the wood was a different age to the age of the sea, but even still there was an unnerving stain deep inside the grain of the wood, that couldn’t quite be washed out no matter how hard the college tried. Dave knew a thing or two about that sort of stain, too. “Well,” he said after a moment, “If that’s all,” He eyed her, just the hint of softness buried in all his wrinkles. “I know how busy you young folk are. Wouldn’t want to keep you.”

“But...why do you care to ask?” Nell replied with another question, still not entirely willing to answer his question. There was still a wariness to her gaze, as if she were waiting for him to turn around and start yelling like he had on the boat. Why did he care whether the guilt was eating her alive or not? She couldn’t help shake the feeling that Dave was simply waiting to turn the tables once again, that he’d change his mind and cast her out just as easily as the coven and her parents had. He was right about her being busy, though. Between the demon cult, her bounty hunting, and potential new jobs she’d been kept running. Still...there was something making her want to linger despite her anxious certainty that nothing good would come of it. Perhaps it was the smallest hint of softness beneath his words, and the fact that she found so little of it these days. “What about you? You said you know about being eaten by guilt.”

“I can take the question back if it bothers you so,” Dave replied with a nonplussed lookin on his face, because the answer to her question was complicated as hell. “Sure do. Life as long and messy as mine, I got plenty to feel guilty for. Not summonin’ demon sharks, I’ll give you that, but enough messes with a body count, that’s for sure.” Dave rubbed the bridge of his nose. Grey clouds overhead were beginning to promise rain. He wasn’t about to share the nature and brunt of his messes, whether they were the sinking boat variety, victims of a monster Dave had failed to stop, or drowning someone who… it was probably not right to have drowned. “Just saying, storing that emotional stuff like a Molotov’s just gonna have it blow in your face. I’d know.” 

“It doesn't bother me,” Nell commented defensively, even though the opposite was true. She just didn’t want to admit such a thing. Not to herself and certainly not to the man who’d already see too much of things she wanted to hide or forget. “Does my question bother you?” She posed the rebuttal as a means of trying to get the burden of explanation off herself, shifting it in Dave’s direction instead. The mention of a body count wasn’t something she’d expected from the selkie, and it was plain to see her curiosity had been piqued. Fortunately, she knew better than to ask for details at a time like this, but that didn’t stop her from asking another question. “Well then...what do you do with it?” Her tone was uncomfortable, arms folded defensively over her chest. She wasn’t fond of appearing weak in front of people she barely knew, or asking for help at all, but desperation was starting to get the better of her. Besides- maybe he would just think she was asking for someone else’s sake. 

“No,” Dave replied honestly, eyebrows raised at her defensive demeanor, quietly letting her know that he could see just how reticent she was to talk about it. But he didn’t push again, getting ready to leave her to her coat and her guilt when she pried another question out of herself. Dave’s look was probably more understanding than she’d like, but he still sighed. 

“Agh, hell,” Dave ran his hand through his hair, turning so he was side on to her when he leant against a nearby fence, his brows dipped deep in thought. For all his gentle cajoling, he wasn’t quite ready to open up to a stranger either. “Different things for different guilts. Some folks act like they never did anything wrong, bottle it up and continue on like nothing ever happened. Some folks spend a lifetime chasing a type of redemption that doesn’t exist, so they can do enough good to outbalance the bad, like it’s some cosmic scale they just gotta weigh up right. Hard to say which way leaves you more fucked up. Guess I deal with it with something in the middle. ‘M not a good person, but I can ensure I don’t make the same fuck ups as before. Focus on what keeps me going. If I face judgement after, I’ll have earned it.” He looked at her sidelong, trying to parse her reaction. “That answer your question?” As vague an answer as it was. There was no talking about the nights with angry outbursts, darker shades that he saw the world in, how quickly his mind twisted to the thought of solving issues by killing. He barely knew this girl, after all. 

Nell still didn’t understand why he’d taken the time to answer her questions to begin with, constantly surprised when he continued to linger with her as they spoke. She was silent as she mulled over Dave’s words, trying to fit them into cracks that lived in her as a result of her own guilt. She knew redemption wasn’t an option, one good thing didn’t magically replace one bad. And ignoring her guilt had never been an option for her, not when she was much better at wallowing in it. “So what you’re saying is it doesn’t get any better,” Nell snorted somewhat derisively, but it was meant as a comment at her own expense rather than Dave’s. She was thankful for his words, even if they hadn’t necessarily filled her with hope. Her foot scuffed at the ground, still uncomfortable despite letting the clam shell of her emotional state open in the slightest. “I mean- thanks for answering. I guess it makes sense that you just gotta learn from it and then deal with it.” After all that had been her experience so far, hadn’t it? Something about not being a good person struck a nerve in her, and she couldn’t help but think of how close Adam’s guilt had gotten him to making a lifelong mistake. “I think trying to be better is at least...the mark of a decent person.” That was the closest she managed to get when it came to offering Dave an opinion on his judgement day.

"Wouldn’t say it doesn’t get easier with time,” Dave replied, tilting his head until his neck cracked, easing some of the tension this conversation was giving him. “More manageable, less raw. Easier to put these things in perspective. You’re still young, you’ve got time to figure out how you want to deal.” Even if it didn’t, Dave was always aware that when he talked to young adults about shit, they had so little framework for how much they still had time to change and grow that he didn’t want to say shit to stifle that. The surest way to keep someone the same was to tell them they had no chance of changing. He looked at her sidelong, the tiniest corner of a smile on his face. “I like to think so,” he replied, in a distant, hypothetical way. It wasn’t something he was interested in applying to himself. 

He was right, technically. Nell was still young. But it felt like she’d been aged some fifteen years in that last twelve months alone. Being raised in White Crest meant she was more than familiar with its oddities and quirks, but she hadn’t remembered the little town being quite so emotionally destructive. Or maybe she’d just been too wrapped up in the swaddle of youth to experience it herself before she’d left, only to return after seeing how gruesome the rest of the world could be. For some naive reason she hadn’t expected it to follow her back home, but here she was with the literal scars along her arms and neck to prove otherwise. Her lips pursed as Dave refused to take part in her little charade of ‘asking for a friend’, feeling set off kilter when he addressed her and the guilt she held directly. “I never said I was talking about me,” she replied stubbornly as her face took on a somewhat petulant expression despite it being obvious that she’d been doing just that.

The beginning of his smile also caught Nell off-guard, and parts of why she’d found it so hard to believe that he could turn his anger from the boat around so quickly fell into place. She’d wanted him to be the persecutor, to tell her that she’d fucked up and confirm her as deserving of the guilt that lived in her chest like an iron set of chains. To give her the punishment she felt she deserved like her mother had done. The realization had her looking away from him, not wanting to give away any more emotion than she already had. “So you...what? Don’t have time to figure it out anymore?” For once her words weren’t meant as an old person joke at the expense of who she was asking. “Or have you just been letting it ‘get easier’ and put into perspective? And that���s the thing you’ve figured out?”

“Hmmm,” Came Dave’s noncommittal response, just looking at her sidelong. When she pouted like that, it was damn hard to remember that the girl was an adult who had gotten folk killed, not just a lost kid finding her way through the world. Which was what made her more dangerous.

“No. Just got bigger fish to fry.” It was a pact he’d made with himself a long damn time ago, as unhealthy as anything else on his list. He’d face his penance, whether that came at the end of a hunter’s knife or an Aipaloovik’s embrace. Dave knew damn well there were consequences to the choices he’d made over the past couple years, but that didn’t slow him down. He’d face it all, but only once the fury was dead, and he had his family’s pelts once more. He could carry the other, less important deaths he’d caused by choice or negligence or malice until that day. He was, in fact, doing just what he’d told Nell not to, letting a guilt define every part of him. “When it came down to it, I learned to carry what I needed to so that I could do what I had to. That’s all.”

“Yeah...yeah I get what you mean,” Nell mused as she thought back to the other times guilt had threatened to consume her. She’d gotten Bea killed. Watched her sister die because she’d been reckless and selfish, and hadn’t taken care of her problems properly. But even as that sickening knowledge had clawed away at her gut, she’d learned how to stomach it well enough to focus on bringing Bea back. Done what she needed to do...just like Dave had. Or at least it sounded that way. At this point she wasn’t sure what else there was to say, already feeling as if she’d said perhaps a little too much. “Anyway...thanks for the jacket.” Nell shrugged her shoulders to help it sit better on her shoulders as she stood and waited to see if Dave had anything else to say on the subject of guilt and otherwise.

“Sure,” Dave replied, noting the quick shut down of conversation with a wry smile. He straightened, shaking his head to work out any cricks as he began to turn to leave. “I know when I’ve been dismissed.” He began to walk away, before turning back to give her a stern look. “Don’t summon any more demon sharks, kid. I won’t be so nice next time.” Dave said, tapping the top of his head like he was tipping his cap to her. This time when he turned, he did not look back. Hell, he even whistled a tune he hadn’t been able to hear for 30 years.

[mondaijo]

god they way you draw anatomy is *chef’s kiss* and the way you colour is brejhfdkdb *big chef’s kiss* really admire your work!! if I may ask, do you have any tips on how to improve on drawing anatomy? ;u; totally cool if you don’t feel like it tho!

I'm sorry it took so long to reply, anatomy anon!!! I ;A;

Okay, so. First of all - you're too kind and both these asks gave me like a 300% boost in dopamine and it really makes my day to read things like these ;;;A;;; really, this is a very sweet gesture. thank you so so much!

So, onto the good stuff!! Mmmmm I might have a couple, yeah! I started learning anatomy early 2018 (I did draw and paint before that, but it was a more contemporary approach to some of it so despite me learning a lot about traditional painting itself, in the drawing department per se I was definitely.... lacking.... I had never drawn male characters before!), and I think I learned a couple things since then! My art is definitely not where I want it to be and I still have many issues my so-called ~art style~, but I think I learned a couple things along the way that might help. This might be kind of long, sorry!

1. Doing gesture drawings. I recently picked up gestures again thanks to  @/aruurara on Twitter, who's responsible for the #kemonogesture hashtag. I still suck quite a lot at it but I think it's helped me improve a lot! Croquis Cafe on Youtube/Vimeo has hundreds of videos of short gesture sessions with AMAZING models for free. Doing 30s/1min drawings will be really tough at first, but once you get the hang of it it's not too bad! This will teach you what should usually be the first (and arguably most important) step of every drawing (that focuses on characters, of course), which is putting down the idea quickly with broad strokes, focusing on movement, composition and gesture. You'll need to learn how to simplify the human body, so it might be a good idea to look into how people do that - Michael Hampton's Figure Drawing: Design and Invention and Proko's videos (proko.com) are some that I can think off the top of my head, but there are many many other great resources out there!

2. Learning anatomy fundamentals/basics. You really don't need to learn ALL bones and muscle groups, but the only way to properly learn anatomy is, well.... sitting down and learning anatomy. Unfortunately we can move in SO many different ways so it's Hard to know exactly what goes where in any position, BUT that's also what makes it beautiful, I think! Go slow and focus on small areas at a time. For example - start from the neck, then go to the shoulders, arms, upper back etc etc. It is a lot so it's no use to try and learn everything in one go! A lot of it you'll learn as you keep drawing and drawing and looking at references (which I'll talk about below). I've drawn some poses/angles so much that the knowledge kind of stuck to me and I can draw these without reference. That will happen with time, too, and become more and more frequent! Some good resources on anatomy are Proko's lessons on anatomy; I used the free ones when I started and they are SO good! I always recommend them. There's also this amazing book called Anatomy for Sculptors, which has a LOT of references about lots of muscle groups! It's a good reference book when you're unsure of how this or that muscle go.

3. References references references. Fill a folder with pics of people in different angles and poses, preferably with different body types! I have so many saved photos of beefy dudes it's insane, lmao. That way, if you don't know how to draw something in a certain angle you can check them! You can always take photos of yourself, too. References are a MUST. Pro artists use them, so why shouldn't we? It's not cheating! And it'll help improve your art so so much. Even if you’re not aiming for realism, if you do know your realism, you’ll be able to draw anything you want, in any art style you want. This is definitely not family or work-friendly, but if you're okay with it, gathering p/orn screencaps/photos and studying from them is really good! It helped me so much when I was starting out and had no idea what to do. P/orn usually has some weird angles and limb positioning that will definitely force you to learn. Not to mention, it was what kept me interested in learning anatomy - I wanted to draw beautiful men in not so sfw situations, so hey, profit!  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You might ask me, why do I need to learn how to anatomy if I can always look at references then? a, if you know anatomy you'll use these references better, since ideally you won't just look and copy, but analyse and interpret what you see, but also b, if you know anatomy you'll be able to morph those references into what you want. It's rare for me to find a perfect reference, so most times I'm creating poses that I don't have references for. I'm also not beefy AT ALL so I can't just take photos of myself when I need to know how to draw muscles... I have to learn it so I can change it at will and draw whatever I want ♥ (that’s the ultimate goal, at least lmao)

4. Practice! The you in a year will be SO much better than the you now. Keep that in mind! Learning art is so hard as everything takes time... But try not to fret too much and think of failures as just opportunities you had to learn - maybe they didn't end up as you expected them to, but you definitely learned along the way so in the long run that's what really matters. Stay positive, be kind to yourself and try to have fun along the way. It’s not easy, but it can be so so rewarding! ♥

And I think that’s it! I tried not to digress too much as I tend to do that, but hopefully these tidbits will cover most of it and at least give you some pointers on how to start/advance on your crafts! If anything doesn’t make sense I blame adhd just hit me up! Wishing you the best of luck ♥

[jovialyouthmusic]

Two’s Company - Changes

As promised, the polyamorous threesome are back. To sum up, Lucy Valois-Rys has two husbands - King Liam Rys and Duke Drake Walker. Following a car accident, King Brad has no memory of meeting or marrying Lucy. Fragments are starting to return and both Lucy and Drake are working to help the King to remember. Masterlist in my bio.

Word Count 3633

A/N Warning - really not suitable for under 18s, and if polyamory or MlM isn’t to your taste, read no further. Otherwise - enjoy xx If you follow the timeline from the previous chapter, you’ll notice Lucy is pretty ‘active’, but hey, its my AU so luckily she’s not sore 😂 

PS Can we call them ‘Braluke’?

6 Date Night

After getting reacquainted, Lucy and Brad checked dinner arrangements and went down to the drawing room where a table was set for three. Drake waited in his usual denim shirt and grinned ruefully at Brad’s dinner jacket and Lucy’s cocktail dress.

‘Well don’t I just feel like a wallflower’ he said ‘You might have let me know we were being formal.’ Brad slapped him on the back

‘I’d feel odd if you wore anything else my friend’ he admitted ‘but we have a few minutes before the first course – you can go and change if you like’ Drake grinned.

‘Well I feel out of place and I’d like to match you, your Majesty’ he made a mock bow and left the room, to reappear a few minutes later in dinner jacket and bow tie with dress trousers. ‘I hope his Majesty remembers proper cutlery etiquette’ he joked as the first course of mozzarella with cherry tomatoes and basil was served.

‘Well I wouldn’t want to spoil the jacket’ said Brad, selecting the outermost set of fork and knife. He speared a slice of mozzarella and fed it to Lucy.

‘I take it you two have consummated your marriage again’ said Drake, again with mock formality, and Brad snorted.

‘I know we’re dressed formally, but let’s talk plainly’ he said ‘Yes Drake, we took advantage of you leaving us to ourselves, and we made love.’

‘Has it triggered any memories?’ Drake asked

‘Only some very intimate ones’ Brad admitted ‘That seems to pose no problem at all, it’s things like where we met or any dates or other occasions that escape me’

‘Things got very complicated’ Drake said ‘It may get very confusing for you – remember where we are right now. Don’t be afraid to ask either of us if you’ve got any questions’ Brad nodded and they continued eating. The theme was Italian cuisine and next came spaghetti putanesca. Brad frowned as he looked at the plate in front of him, and Lucy regarded him expectantly.

‘I remember eating this with you before, Lucy – is that significant?’ She smiled broadly and reached across to put her hand on his and squeeze it.

‘Yes, once at Beaumont Manor you arranged for Max to serve us up a simple pasta meal as if it was all a real first date’ Brad broke into a smile.

‘We asked each other questions’ he said ‘You prefer cats to dogs, and…’ he paused his smile grew warmer ‘You want a family’ Tears started to Lucy’s eyes again and she had to stop and mop at them with her napkin. They carried on eating, none of them drinking – Lucy because of the baby, Drake because he was still off alcohol, and Brad out of consideration for the other two. Dessert was tiramisu, a favourite of Lucy’s. Only one bowl was served with three spoons, and they took it in turns feeding each other, making their best efforts not to spill anything on their good clothes.

Lucy decided they should do something ordinary, something relaxing, so she proposed they have a movie night. They each chose a film and wrote the name on a piece of paper, then Lucy picked one. Before they started, the each went to their rooms to change into pyjamas, then Lucy picked. She came up with Drake’s choice of Blade Runner, and they settled down in the lounge, streaming it on their smart TV. Drake settled into the couch and Lucy nestled into him. Brad sat close to her and she stretched her legs out onto his lap. He smiled and massaged her feet, lifting them and kissing her toes. She giggled and drew them back, complaining that it tickled, then put them back in his lap when he promised to behave, smiling shyly.

Half an hour later, Drake’s arm was going to sleep but he daren’t move as Lucy was fast asleep. Brad carefully moved closer, gazing at her adoringly. He looked at Drake.

‘Are you sure you’re not telling me a story?’ he said ‘I can’t quite believe all this – that I’m married to such a gorgeous creature – that she’s generous enough to share herself with my best friend – that I’m going to be a father?’ he shook his head ‘It seems too good to be true’

‘I can call Bastien in to confirm’ he said ‘Though he’s probably looking after Sophia right now, she’s not got long to go before she has the babies’

‘Babies?’ he said, puzzled

‘Yeah, Bas has managed to sire twins, one of each’ he grinned ‘Don’t expect him back to work for a while after the birth – or births’

‘That is incredible’ he said ‘I wonder…’ his gaze wondered over to their sleeping wife. Drake shrugged, managing to free his arm a little.

‘Who knows. We’ll find out soon enough.’

‘I’m sorry you have to wait, Drake’ he said ‘she’s so generous’ his eyes watered a little and Drake reached out over Lucy to put his hand on Brad’s arm.

‘She’s amazing. I’m almost envious that you’re getting to find out all over again.’ Brad smiled, his hand covering Drake’s.

‘With the added bonus of – whatever we have together’ he said softly, and Drake felt himself drawn toward him. Brad moved closer too, and their lips met over Lucy’s sleeping body. This kiss was sweet and tender, not urgent and brutal like the last one, as if Lucy’s presence softened their passion. Lucy stirred and muttered

‘I knew you boys would get to like it’ Drake drew away from Brad, grinning

‘Shh, go back to sleep Lucy, we’re busy’ He freed his arm and pressed his lips to Brad’s again, but his other hand lingered on Lucy’s shoulder, drawing her close, head on his shoulder. ‘Well okay, you can join in’ he said softly ‘As you’re awake’

Again he drew away from Brad and lazily kissed Lucy full on the lips. Brad waited patiently for them to part and took Drake’s place, tasting him on her lips. They quickly became a languid mess of tangled limbs and searching mouths and sighs. The film continued unwatched, the flickering light from the screen illuminating the three lovers. Lucy’s fingers deftly started to unfasten buttons, and the other two followed suit. Limbs rose and fell as clothes were discarded until they were all naked on the couch, exploring with hands and mouths. No inch of flesh, whether soft and pillowy or firm and flat, no patch of hair, whether soft and downy or thick and coarse, was off limits – now that Drake had admitted his desire for Brad, he freely let his fingers wander wherever they fell or slid or stroked.

Brad allowed himself to be drawn into the embrace of his two lovers and found himself sitting with Lucy astride him, arms draped lazily around his neck She reached down to gently encircle his member with her soft fingers while Drake manoeuvred himself behind her, sliding his own member between her thighs, and without entering her, slid himself back and forth through her slick folds. Brad watched as her lust blown eyes rolled up and she arched her neck, exposing her throat to him. He leaned forward and nipped and sucked at her soft flesh, his hands wandering to cup her full breasts. Drake placed his hands on her hips, palms flat and fingers spread, grasping her as he continued to tease her. She groaned in ecstasy at the onslaught of the two men. Drake whispered in her ear so Brad could hear too.

‘Lucy, I can’t get enough of you’ he murmured ‘I want to feel you come. I want to remember how you feel. I want Brad to watch you and remember how you look when you come. When I’m with Brad we think of you. You’re always in my thoughts. I love you, Lucy.’ Lucy was writhing and moaning as he spoke.

‘Please Drake’ she gasped ‘I want you inside me. Brad, touch me, watch me’ Drake slowly pushed into her and Brad slid his fingers between her lips to find the hard little button of her clitoris, softly circling and pressing, feeling her shudder and shake. Her hand fell away from his shaft and her nipples grew hard. She closed her eyes in bliss as Drake started to stroke into her, slowly at first, and the two men focussed on her pleasure until she was vibrating and trembling on the edge of completion. She panted wordlessly, her lips forming first Drake’s name, then Brad’s until she started to chant

‘Drake, Brad – yes, yes, Drake – Drake – Brad – oh god, yes’ and at last she crested the wave of her orgasm, Drake grunting as he delivered his last few strokes, hard and fast as she came. She gave out a wordless scream at the last until they all slowed to a standstill. Drake withdrew shakily, falling to his knees, and Lucy slid from Brad’s lap to lie beside him on the couch. Brad turned to her to stroke her cheek and kiss her softly. She reached out to touch him, a sleepy smile on her face.

‘Thankyou’ she whispered ‘I can’t believe how lucky I am to have both of you’ He smiled back

‘I hope I can remember more soon’ he said ‘Though maybe doing this more often will help get my memory back’ She laughed

‘You boys – I can hardly keep up with you. I’m glad you’re together as well’ Drake pulled himself off the floor and cuddled up to Lucy on the other side. He nuzzled into her neck.

‘I have an idea’ he growled throatily ‘How about Brad and I do something together, and you watch?’ Lucy’s eyes widened, and he took a lock of her hair, twisting it around his finger ‘Or you could help me’ She bit her lip

‘What do you have in mind?’ she asked in awe

‘Well’ he said, propping himself on his elbow and looking across at Brad ‘I think I’d like to fuck Brad properly, and you can either help him along his way with a hand job – or you can do more if you want’ Brad sucked his breath in

‘Hey, how about asking me?’ he said mockingly, and Drake reached across to punch his shoulder.

‘You know you want me to’ he teased ‘You know you want me balls deep’ Brad threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling as Lucy reached across to take his length in her hand again, stroking him back to hardness.

‘I’d love to watch’ she said, and scooted closer to murmur in his ear ‘I want to see my husbands make love. I want to watch my lover fuck my King’ Brad cleared his throat.

‘Well okay’ he said in mock reluctance, though in reality he was a little nervous as well as aroused. ‘But I think we should probably go to your bedroom. I know no-one’s going to walk in on us here, but this couch is probably not the best place.’

‘You do realise that means we’ll have to get dressed?’ Drake pointed out. Lucy giggled

‘We could streak’ she suggested, but Brad shook his head

‘Not with this’ he pointed to his groin ‘The staff might not appreciate it the way you do, Lucy’ The three of them gathered their clothes together and went for minimalism – Brad put his boxer shorts and shirt on and held the rest of his clothes strategically and Drake opted just for underwear. Lucy only had to slip her dress on to look respectable, and took the lead. She opened the door and peeped out into the hall, waving the two men on as she saw nobody was about.

They sprinted up the stairs to Lucy’s bedroom without incident and stripped yet again. Lucy sprang onto the bed and propped herself up with pillows, waving regally at the two men. She bit her lip and sighed in admiration at the sight of them, Brad broad and stocky and Drake just a little slimmer around the hips. Both were toned and their hair colours contrasted – Drake’s dark hair almost hid the contours of his muscular body while Brad’s golden hair almost made him shimmer.

‘Your Queen desires you to perform’ she announced, and Drake bowed deeply

‘Of course Ma’am’ he replied gravely. Drake stood facing Brad and reached out for him, hand to the back of his neck to kiss him. Their mouths met and Brad reached out to steady himself, hand on Drake’s hip. His length rapidly hardened as their lips and tongues danced and explored, and he felt Drake’s arousal on his belly. Lucy turned to the bedside table to get out a bottle of lube, holding it between her thighs to warm it a little. She squirmed at the feel of its hardness and took her gaze back to the two men. They were engrossed, soft sounds and moans punctuating their kiss as Drake steered them closer to the bed. He backed Brad up to the edge and they sat side by side, continuing the kiss.

After a while Drake gently pushed Brad onto his back, and he wriggled his way further up the bed so he was closer to Lucy, who gave him a pillow to rest his head on. Drake followed him up, hovering over him, gently nipping at his neck, reaching between his thighs so that he let them drop open. He stroked his length, wrapping his fingers around it, thumb pressed to the tip as a dribble of precum escaped it. Lucy pressed the tube of lube into his hand and he squeezed some out to coat Brad’s genitals, fingers moving down, over his testicles and toward his puckered hole. Brad moaned as he lubricated and slipped his finger inside him, circling and starting to slowly move in and out. He reached down to stroke himself and Lucy’s breath caught as she watched the two men. Drake’s cock hung heavy and he coated it with lube as he inserted another finger inside Brad, gently stretching him. He manoeuvred himself between his friend’s thighs, kissing his way along his jaw back to his lips.

Lucy watched their open mouthed kiss, tongues writhing, listening to the wet noises and breathy sighs.

‘Are you ready?’ asked Drake, and Brad’s eyes opened briefly.

‘Fuck me, Drake’ he murmured ‘I want you inside me.’ He turned to Lucy ‘I love you, Lucy’. She smiled as Drake reached under the pillow for a condom and rolled it onto his length, liberally coating it with lube.

‘I love you too, Brad’ she whispered ‘I love that you think of me when you’re with Drake’ Drake started to press his tip to Brad’s hole. Brad took hold of Lucy’s hand and squeezed it – squeezing harder as Drake pushed in until the head had slipped in. He withdrew and pressed in again, slowly working in, Brad squeezing and relaxing his hand until he felt Drake’s whole length inside him, his pubic bone pressing against him. He sighed and let go of her, and she reached across to take his length in her hand, thumb on the tip as Drake had done. She squeezed softly as Drake drew out slowly, and just as slowly pressed in again to fill Brad’s passage. Brad groaned in ecstasy and rolled his hips against his two lovers, eyelids fluttering. Drake took it slow and steady, and Lucy leaned forward to kiss him on the lips, still gently squeezing Brad’s manhood. Drake responded hungrily, moaning into the kiss, one hand on Brad’s hip and the other going to the back of her neck.

Lucy couldn’t resist letting her free hand wander to her clitoris, fuelled by the other two men’s moans and grunts. All three of them were totally transported as they moved together, bodies sheened in sweat, the noises of passion growing as Drake quickened his thrusts. Brad’s hand went to guide Lucy’s, pumping his shaft as Drake drove deep. Lucy could no longer concentrate on kissing Drake as her fingers stroked and circled her nub, waiting for the trembling and shuddering that would signal their respective climaxes. Open mouthed, Drake panted and gripped Brad’s hips, and Lucy keened with the effort of teetering on the edge of orgasm.

‘Here it comes – are you ready?’ Drake’s voice was hoarse as he shuddered and plunged deep into Brad’s passage. The reply came in short pants and gasps.

‘Yes – oh fuck, yes’ and finally all three of them shuddered and shook as they reached their climaxes together. Drake’s rhythm grew erratic, slowed and ceased, and Lucy felt her walls tighten and pulse. Brad’s back arched as his seed shot out over his belly and up to his chest, and he loosened his grip, letting go of Lucy’s hand, which she gently uncurled before letting herself fall to the mattress beside him. Drake groaned as he came to a stop, carefully withdrawing and taking a few shaky breaths before devoting himself to fetching cloths to clean everyone up, disposing of the condom in the process. Brad lay with his lovers either side of him, Lucy facing him with her arm thrown across his chest, Drake lying on his back with his arm behind his head, hip pressed to Brads at an attempt of intimacy.

Drake rolled over after a while to look over Brad at Lucy, whose eyes were closed, breath steady, indicating that she had fallen asleep. Brad looked at her fondly. It was late, and the evening had been very interesting.

‘I still can’t believe all this is true’ he whispered. Carefully he took her arm from his chest and folded it so her hand was next to her flushed cheek. He waited to see if she would stir, but beyond curling tighter into the foetal position with a contented sigh, she didn’t wake. Carefully he sat up and got out of bed, to put on his dressing gown and pace the room, running his fingers through his hair. Drake sat up to watch him.

‘Are you okay, Brad?’ he asked  quietly. He didn’t really want to hear the answer. He didn’t want to delve into the depths of his friend’s emotions, as he was having some problems of his own. He’d never considered himself anything but heterosexual, but he couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed what they had just done together. Brad stopped pacing and turned to face him.

‘We need to talk about this somewhere else’ he said in a low tone. Drake nodded curtly, and rose carefully, retrieving his pyjama bottoms and dressing gown, and the two of them left the room quietly.

‘Where to?’ he asked. ‘It’s late and the staff will have retired’

‘Are you hungry? Can we raid the kitchen?’ Brad asked. Drake shrugged

‘There’s no one to stop us’ he grinned ‘Not like at the palace.’ Brad chuckled as they descended the grand staircase.

‘Ha – do you remember when cook caught us taking savouries meant for one of the diplomatic banquets, once and told father? We were put on short rations for a week.’ Drake snorted.

‘You might have been, but cook forgot to tell Bas. How he didn’t find out I don’t know’

‘Not fair!’ Brad protested, but as they reached the kitchens, a frown creased his forehead. ‘See, there must be some stuff like that with Lucy that I’ve forgotten.’ He said with a heavy sigh ‘It’s those little things that bind you together’ Drake put his hand on his arm.

‘I told you, you’ll make new ones’ He went to the fridge and took out slabs of cheese and cold meat, put them on the kitchen table and went to get some bread. He obviously knew his way around the cupboards, and Brad opened one after another as Drake started putting sandwiches together. He found a jar of tomato chutney and some pickles and put them on the table. He watched as Drake expertly layered his favourite fillings – gruyere cheese, cold ham and cheddar.

‘See, you know what I like’ he said ‘Apart from when we’re in bed, I couldn’t tell you what Lucy likes. I couldn’t rustle up a quick meal for her’

‘All you have to do is ask her, and you always were a quick study.’ he said ‘Besides, you’re a creature of habit. Lucy changes her mind all the time, and she’s bound to have some weird cravings pretty soon’ He handed Brad a plate piled high. ‘You can put your own pickles on it, that stuff turns my stomach’ The two men sat at the worktop on high stools. Drake crammed his creation into his mouth and ate greedily while Brad spread some chutney on the top layer of cheese before replacing the bread, taking a knife and cutting it up. Drake shook his head.

‘Man, who cuts their sandwiches up?’ he said through a mouthful of cheese and ham. ‘Only you, Brad. Where the heck did you learn that?’ Brad looked at the piece he’d just cut.

‘Not everyone eats like a barbarian’ he scoffed ‘You’d think becoming a Duke would teach you some table manners’ He popped the morsel into his mouth and chewed slowly, and the men were silent for a while, steadily munching away. Drake finished first and started clearing up.

‘Look, just give yourself some time’ he said ‘It’s not been long since you came back from hospital. The doc said it could be weeks, even months. It’s an unknown quantity’ Brad sighed.

‘You’re right of course’ he said ‘I’ll just have to carry on as best I can.’ Drake slapped him on the back.

‘Good man. Now let’s get to bed and get some rest. Maybe Lucy will be ready for some more fun tomorrow.’

@sirbeepsalot @fluffyfirewhiskey @katedrakeohd @dcbbw @camillemontespan​ @kingliam2019​ @notoriouscs​ @texaskitten30​

[little-red-toyota]

Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

 Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…  

 4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

 5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

 6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think?  I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

 7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

 9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

 First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

 This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

[itstimetotheorize]

little nightmares 2, the true villain of the game, the ending explained, a collection of analysis and theories from the community part 3, part 1,2,4,5,6,7 link is below (old theories)

Analysis of the tower/eye entity:

 As we all know, the viewers of the city are infected with escapism (which means the desire to find an escape from reality and get some sort of wonderful relief), this feeling is broadcasted from the tower to various tvs around the world in order to attract victims to the tv screens. However, out of all the residents that we see in the city, we realized that the only residents of the tower are the thin man and the eye entity, but why is the eye entity there? it is the thin man who sends the signal, so what is the purpose of the eye entity/tower?. 

 1. the eye entity is the one manipulating the minds of the viewers and the thin man by strengthening their simple desires, that main desire being of course, relief from the world around them. Anyone that fell to the towers hypnotic spell through the tv would eventually have their bodys be consumed by the tv and added to its fleshy body in the tower

 why did monster six fight mono?, why did the tower turn her into a monster? 

     After analyzing and reading other theories and details, this is what many of us have found. As of now, we believe that It is the tower/eye entities goal to prey on the residents of the world and make them succumb to its hypnotic spell. When we first meet six we see that there are tally marks drawn on the wall near her to tell us how much time she had spent in the room, aside from the tally marks, there is also a picture of the tower. 

To many, it felt strange that six did not make any effort to leave this room , despite having shown to be fully capable of escaping many other dangers, so why didn’t she?

 1.six did try to escape on multiple occasions but was always caught by the hunter and imprisoned all over again. The hunter did not kill six because he did not know what to do with her yet, he had never taxidermized something so small. In his efforts to taxidermize six “perfectly” and add her to his taxadermy family, the hunter began to trap smaller prey in order to practice his skills on smaller creators  so as to not ruin sixes turn.

 2.the tower/eye entity had ordered the hunter to spare her life in order to have her sent to the maw where she would become the new lady. 

 3.the tower/eye entity had already infected six with escapism when she was caught by the hunter. The reason six never left the hunters cabin is because she was attached to the music box in the room. The tower infected six with the desire to never leave the room so long as the music box was there to comfort her from the world, similarly to how the viewers only comfort is the tvs, this is why we see a drawing of the tower in the cabin room where six is at, it was supposed to tell us that she had already been exposed to the tower/eye entities spell. When mono broke into the hunters cabin and found six, it was him that broke six out of her hypnotic spell. Once six was thrown back into reality, her only instinct was to escape the room before she could be hypnotized to the music box all over again and to leave the cabin before the hunter could find her again.

       If the eye entity/tower really was able to see mono and six through the various tv screens, then we believe that it saw mono and six working together and immediately felt threatened. Why exactly did it feel threatened? Here is what we have so far:

 1..knowing fully well that mono and six would become the thin man and lady of the maw, the eye entity/tower began to grow concern for the two working together, fearing that their combined power and loyalty to one another would overthrow their eventual loyalty to it. If the eye ever planned to have mono and six continue the cycle that keeps it alive, the two would need to be separated and compelled to hate each other, leaving them no other choice but to look to it for comfort in the world just like the rest of the residents of the world. 

2. Unlike the other residents of the world, mono and six were much harder to influence. Why exactly were they harder to influence? well, unlike the rest of the residents, mono and six had each other to comfort and support in the world, they helped each other through every danger they faced and were able to ignore or help each other reject the towers call whenever it tried to draw them to its hypnotic spell. In the end it was their bond that helped them become less afraid of the world and feel determined to end it.

3.knowing fully well mono and sixes growing bond and powerful teamwork had allowed them to overcome the struggles of the pale city, the tower felt unnerved over how much closer mono was to unknowingly freeing himself from the loop by ending the signal and escaping the city. If mono and six had the chance to destroy the pale city together, their would be an even higher possibility of them going on to end its reign of terror throughout the world. However, once mono freed the thin man, the thin man had attempted to full fill his own desire of reconnecting with six and making up for past mistakes, unfortunately, thin man still remained tethered to the towers control, never knowing the tower had planned to use the thin mans attempts to find six as a chance to for it to lure mono in the tower and set up a scenario where mono would feel betrayed by six in order to finally force him to become the thin man all over again.

     When six was captured and sent to the signal tower, we couldn't understand why she was so horribly deformed and filled with so much violence toward mono attacking her music box. Here is what everyone is talking about so far:

 1.if the thin man really is mono, then through his desire for vengeance against six, the thin man had her horribly disfigured and locked away in a room in the tower where she would eventually rot away.

 2.if mono is thin man then despite his hatred for six betraying him, he still cared for six. Even after she was horribly disfigured by the transmission, the thin man felt compassion for her and decided to leave her in a room filled with the things that she loved.

3.if the thin man is mono then when the thin man took six to the tower, the tower attempted to switch back and forth between six and the thin man as hosts in an effort to restore the transmission every time thin man left the tower. However, once mono defeated the thin man, the tower tried to use six as a new replacement for the thin man, unfortunately,  six did not poses the powers that the thin man had, meaning that the tower could not properly broadcast its transmission. 

As mono was traveling through the tvs, the faint sound of sixes music box could be heard playing rather than the regular broadcasts that we heard in previous tvs, meaning that the tower tried to use six to send out its hypnotic spell but proved unsuccessful as six became distorted and warped just like the rest of the viewers, this is why when the viewers tried to chase mono through the grocery store they did not become re-hypnotized by the various tvs in the store,

 it was because the viewers were not properly exposed to the towers hypnotic spell without the use of the thin mans power. As a result, the tower remained determined to capture mono and imprison him in the tower by using six as bait. It continued to broadcast the sound of her music box through the tvs in order for mono to follow a path to the tower.

4.six was already easy for the eye/tower to influence with escapism, in the end it was easy for it to deform her with the transmission just like the rest of the viewers due to her fragile mental state. It made her attached to the music box from the very beginning and it continued to call to her when she entered the pale city with mono. The only reason why she never fully buckled under the towers hypnotic spell was because mono was always there to snap her out of it, just as six was always able to snap mono out of the transmission when it called to him through the tvs.

5. The eye/tower had a hard time influencing six with escapism since her only desire was to escape the tower itself, find mono and continue to face reality. In its attempts to weaken sixes mind, the tower tried to horrify six with images of her life from various points in time, which is why we see so many toys and paintings from the first game in monster sixes room. However, even with all this, the eye/tower could not break her.

Instead, the eye/tower tried to link her to the one object that provided her comfort, the music box.  When six  was deformed it might not have just been because of the transmission, but because the eye/tower was struggling to warp her into an emotional form that made her vulnerable enough to manipulate into being infected with escapism. When six was finally lost in the transmission, the eye had her real self imprisoned inside the music box while her physical body took on the form of her worst fear, the fear of becoming a monster just like the rest of the creatures she saw in the city.

  When mono found six, six had already been viciously infected by the eye/tower into wanting to never leave the room where she felt safe and comfortable. When mono beat sixes music box, well, similarly to how the viewers reacted violently to mono interfering with their tv, six violently reacted to mono interfering with her music box. When mono tried to free six, the eye entity tried to separate mono from her on multiple occasions by sending him to a void area where he would have no other choice but to find the chair we saw near the end of the game. However monos desire to save six was always too strong, hence why he always found a door to find six instead.

However, even when six was freed from her monster form by mono, the eye entity/tower still  had a lingering connection to six. If the eye entity is really as intelligent as we believe it to be, then it's likely that it made sure to keep that hold on six if it ever planned to separate her and mono. If mono was ever to stay in the tower in a vulnerable enough state to become the thin man, he would first need to have a desire to escape the world just like the rest of the viewers, so it had planned for six to drop mono to make him feel betrayed and alone.

link to part1:

 https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/643381090599550976/little-nightmares-2-the-ending-explained-a

link to part 2:

https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/643381175480664064/little-nightmares-2-the-ending-explained-a

link to part 4:

https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/643594818418884608/little-nightmares-2-the-ending-explained-a

link to part 5: 

https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/643595301167513600/little-nightmares-2-the-ending-explained-a

link to part 6:

https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/644707007587303424/little-nightmares-2-the-time-loop-within-the-pale

link to part 7:

https://itstimetotheorize.tumblr.com/post/646514664007696384/little-nightmares-2-the-thin-mans-purpose-an