#Oh shoot I can’t remember if I took my anxiety meds

[river-lethe-tears]

DC x DP Prompt

Sam gets Summoned

So instead of Danny being the one summoned, this time it’s Sam. Like, being possessed by Overgrowth (or whatever he’s name is stupid plant ghost :/ ) , made her get some cool plant powers and stuff. 

So the cult is trying to summon Overgrowth to return Earth to its former green glory or whatever. But instead gets this small goth girl. Who is suddenly looking very pissed off and angry. And oh no. They try to be really respectful and stuff because what if this is Overgrowth putting them through a test? So they toss their sacrifices into the circle because of course the entity is not happy until it gets what it was promised. 

The sacrifices are probably either Poison Ivy who they somehow got (most likely through threatening Harley than knocking them both out to use as sacrifices) or Red Hood since Jason was dead and all plus Lazarus Pits. (Or Batfamily if you’re more partial to that but I did not think of this prompt with them in mind as the sacrifices lol)

So Sam is really confused and pissed off cause she was in the middle of something with Danny and Tucker and both of those idiots are probably freaking out, so she needs to get back as soon as possible. So she just gives a nasty (burger) glare and just waves her hands. Plants start sprouting from the ground and knocking the cult out. Once Sam done she just rolls her eyes in all her goth glory and walks over to the sacrifices to untie them. Poison Ivy then just watches everything play out with amusement as Harley tries to cheer Sam on. If the sacrifices are Poison Ivy and Harley or Red Hood than they compliment Sam on her skills. If it’s anyone else it’s up to your imagination.

So yeah that happens. Depending on who the sacrifices are, after an undetermined time talking Sam just walks back to the summoning circle. She knows all about this stuff due to all the rants Danny goes on and on with about people being so inconsiderate when summoning him. So she just concentrates and taps into either her liminal status, powers due to Overgrowth, or ectoplasm residue in her system and reverse summons herself back to Amity.

The rest of the bats burst in just as Sam starts to reverse summon herself. And are freaking out or shocked before she is just gone. They only get a few glimpses at her and they can’t grasp the colours since the summoning circle starts to glow bright green. Poison Ivy and Harley won’t really tell them anything since they are amused at the bats frustration. (Bats knew to rescue them cause Selena told them that they were missing; Sirens are reformed(?) in this AU)

So the bats are trying to find out more information on this being the cult summoned and the Sirens aren’t really being that helpful. Selena finds it hilarious after Ivy and Harley inform her what happened. 

Just imagine a few months later there’s a Wayne Gala going on and the Mansons were invited so of course they came and dragged Sam along. Who also ended up dragging Danny and Tucker along. And the bats casually freak out when they see this girl who looks kinda like the being they saw in that warehouse a few months ago. Oh gods above. Poison Ivy please pick up. Please don’t let this be another Gala being crashed. They can handle their rouges, not inter-dimensional beings they have no information about. 

Danny and Tucker naturally finds this hilarious.

Until Tucker gets summoned a month later.

~~~ Please excuse the horrible everything. I am writing this very late, but I had to do a brain dump since this was haunting (haha) my brain. I literally had this idea pop up and not go away while trying to fall asleep. There are so many run off sentences, but I can’t bring myself to care anymore. Sleep waits for no man, woman, or in between before claiming their conscience for a few hours (or days). I might come back later to fix this up and fill plot holes. But that’s a huge maybe. Also I couldn’t be bothered to actually searched up Overgrowth’s real name lol or to fact check anything. My brain is gone. Into the wind. :p

[always-and-forever-a-killjoy]

Coming Home Chapter 2

Hello fuckers I know I promised this chapter yesterday but then I fell asleep because I was incredibly exhausted. So I'm posting it today because I deserve it Also, the song for the last chapter was Revolution Radio by Green Day, which no one guessed! I'll give you a hint for this chapter- it's very far off from Green Day or My Chemical Romance.

Title: Coming, Coming Home

Chapter Title: Cause I’m with you this time

Chapter Wordcount: 3333

Chapter Summary:

Cherri Cola settles into living with Dr. Death Defying and White Lily, figures out that someone actually cares about him, and makes some reckless decisions.

Warnings: implied/referenced past abuse, referenced past misgendering, light panic/anxiety attack, non-graphic/canon-typical violence and injury, uhhh i *think* that's it? (If you want to know what parts to skip, go to the end notes on AO3- I also put a brief summary of any important info in those parts. Stay safe!)

Taglist: @wishiwasthemoon-tonight @sleevesareforlosers @stressed-depressed-emo-mess @tasteofamnesia @dagger-queen​ @no-braincells-here @piratecherricola (message me, send an ask, or reblog/reply to one of my posts if you want to be added or removed)

AO3 Link

Chapter 1 AO3 Link

Chapter 1 Tumblr Post

(Actual fic under the cut)

It took a few months for Cherri to really settle in to living with the other two. He was younger than them, and lacked the shared experience of fighting in the Helium Wars. But all three of them had the shared understanding of having grown up too fast, the pain and weariness in the other’s eyes mirroring his exactly. Not to mention that running a pirate radio station and attempting to spark a rebellion did tend to bond people. Having each others’ backs in firefights, fixing the radio equipment together, and eating their meals as a group only aided that process.

So 109 WKIL slowly got off the ground, heading into the sky just as promised. Their transmitter was fairly decent, and so their range was large even if few listeners were tuning in right now. But the rebellion grew daily, neutrals and Battery City folk abandoning a more peaceful life under the hand of Better Living Industries for the wild world of a killjoy. White Lily spoke over the radio at least weekly, encouraging them to fight, to not let themselves be squashed under bli’s heel. 

“Power is not given, but taken. If you hate oppression, you better be ready to fight against the oppressor and give it everything you’ve got.” 

Cherri was sitting in his usual spot under the broadcast desk, making sure that all the equipment was running smoothly as White Lily spoke above him. Her voice didn’t have the deep, gravelly weight of D’s, but the fire in it was inspiring. There had always been something about White Lily that made people want to follow her, D had told him. Some spark in her spirit that kindled fires in others, bringing them together under her leadership. 

“Better Living may have bombs, and gas, and more ray guns than we can dream of getting our grubby little killjoy paws on. But we have something they can never replace: spirit. You can’t make a fiery heart with pills and white walls. They can take our bodies, shoot us full of plasma and throw us to the wolves. But they can never touch our spirit. Never. We will rise again, as many times as they try to throw us down.

"The spirit of the desert is something they can’t kill with any amount of laser beams. Any size of bomb, any number of exterminators. None of it will squash our spirit, and that’s what makes us invincible. As long as a single killjoy rises to fight, Better Living Industries cannot win. So get out there, crash queens! Get your vehicles, motorbabies. Angel kissers, grab your med kits, and kerosene saints, your matches. We’ve got a corporation to overthrow, and we’re not stopping at just nipping at their heels. Killjoys, it’s time to make some noise!”

She clicked off the radio. “How was that?”

“Good,” Cherri told her. “Inspiring. Makes you want to fistfight an exterminator.” 

“Oh good, that’s what I was hoping for.” Lily paused. “No fistfighting exterminators though, that’s a bad idea.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Oh yes I can,” Lily laughed. She was still grinning as she reached to help Cherri out from under the desk, a grin both achingly close and achingly far to one he remembered. There were days when she looked so much like his sister it hurt, not in her features but in the way she laughed and her teasing grin as she and D bantered back and forth. 

Cherri tried not to think about it as he pulled himself to his feet. “And how do you plan on stopping me?”

“Hmm…I think I shall tackle you.”

“Then what?”

“Make D lecture you nonstop until you fall asleep.”

Cherri laughed as they headed back into the house. "Good luck with that."

So far, they hadn’t had to move the van from its position in front of their home in Zone Four, but all of them knew it was only a matter of time before bli would be breathing down their necks.

“We have some time,” D said that evening. “Our signal will be hard to track, and we don’t have a wide enough reach to be a threat to Better Living Industries yet.”

“We’re getting there, though,” Lily commented, digging around for the last bit of power pup in her can. 

“True, we’ve got a lot more listeners now than we did before.” Cherri was already finished with his, playing with his dented spoon and reflecting the sunlight across the room idly. “It’s going to be hard to stay hidden for long, not when the other killjoys whisper about our station and spread the word between themselves.”

“The more people who know, the easier it is for Better Living to find us,” D agreed. “Of course, we need people to know so they’ll tune in, but we’ll have to be careful as we get larger.”

“Careful, careful, you’re always careful.” Lily leaned back in her chair, setting down her spoon. “I’m not saying we abandon all caution, but there’s going to be risks running a rebellion. A lot of the time, we’ll just have to decide if they’re worth taking.”

Cherri nodded, still examining the spoon. “And a lot of the time they will be.”

“Didn’t know you were such a daredevil, Cher.” He made to glare at Lily, but she went on. “You’re right though. Everything’s a risk, and we’re going to have to take a lot of them.”

“I don’t like that,” D put in.

“None of us do, except maybe Cherri the daredevil over here. But we’re doing it.”

“We’re doing it,” D agreed tiredly. 

“I’m not a fucking daredevil,” Cherri muttered. That was….mostly true. Risk for the sake of risk wasn’t exactly his thing, but risk for any other sake was. As long as only his life was at risk, it was a risk worth taking. He figured, at least.

“You’re pretty fucking daring, Cher.”

“Only risks that are worth it, though.” He pretended not to see the two older ‘joys exchange glances. 

-

True to their predictions, the rebellion grew. Their radio was a contributing factor, Cherri hoped. It certainly seemed to have grown in popularity as more killjoys entered the desert and more neutrals lay down their peaceful ways and took up arms alongside the killjoys. WKIL was something whispered about in killjoy circles, told to the newbies, the undergrads of the desert.

Cherri knew because he was the one who went and talked with them, the lesser-known face. Everyone recognized at very least the voices of D and Lily by now, the two radio speakers who rallied the rebels, but Cherri Cola was not a name whispered in legend yet. He was just a sixteen year old with a shitty ray gun and a bad haircut, which had advantages and disadvantages. 

One of the advantages was the ability to go talk to random people and be seen as relatively harmless, just a teen with a bright pink mask. There was nothing about him to suggest that he was an incredible shot with a ray gun or a dangerous fighter, not in the slightest. He wore oversized clothes and perpetually looked disheveled, so he had been told. And if you didn’t look too closely at his eyes, you wouldn’t even see the fire in them. 

So Cherri used that hidden advantage, appearing perfectly harmless to anyone who didn’t know him well. It was helpful for White Lily and Dr. Death Defying, since neither of them could go anywhere where there were a lot of rebels without being recognized.

And the rebellion grew and grew. Their voices were growing louder, their colors brighter even as Better Living Industries tried to squash them down. The spirit of the desert truly was rising, and a faint sense of hope had started to permeate the air. White Lily never promised that they would win. But she promised that Better Living Industries wouldn’t, so long as a single killjoy stood, and that was enough for most of the desert. 

They were teenagers, mainly. The bulk of the force that was forming the current rebellion was either teenagers, running from their pasts in Battery City, or twenty-something former soldiers of the Helium Wars, running from what they had done or trying to put it right. They were young and invincible, so it seemed. The reality that they could easily die doing this hadn’t sunk in for most of the younger population of the desert, intoxicated on freedom and the thrill of the desert.

D and Lily knew that reality all too well, Cherri knew. He knew they knew what all of them were up against, had watched death in their own right in the Helium Wars, had wrought it with their own hands. 

He knew what the consequences were too, a memory of bli employees in clean white suits coming to respectfully ‘recruit’ the person he loved most hovering behind a door in his mind. That door would remain closed, Cherri had decided. The past was the past- but he fought because of it anyways, knowing the horrors Better Living Industries had done.

Cherri might have been young, but he was no fool. He knew quite well that he could die, and he couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck, as Lily would put it. There were things more important than living to some grand old age, and this rebellion was one of them.

He would be lying to himself if he said that some part of him wasn’t in this for revenge, maybe a larger part than he was willing to admit. 

“If you take away someone’s world, they might just burn yours down,” Cherri muttered to himself, aiming his shitty old ray gun at the empty cans Lily had set up that day. Despite how long he had already been out here, they still hadn’t managed to locate him a better weapon. That was fine, he thought, he was deadly enough even without one, but D and Lily both insisted that it would be a lot easier for him with something that wasn’t outdated by at least three years. 

“What?” Cherri jumped as D came to stand next to him, aiming his own black and blue ray gun at the cans. “Did you say something, Cherri?”

“Oh, uh. Nothing.”

D shrugged, tilting his head to take aim. “You don’t have to tell me, I just figured I’d ask in case you were trying to tell me something.”

Cherri lowered his ray gun, glancing down. “I said if you take away someone’s world, they might just burn yours down.”

“Ah. True, and insightful.” Cherri didn’t have to glance over at D to know his face would be gently concerned. “Somewhat dark though, you could say.”

“Guess so.”

They were silent for a moment, apart from the zap of ray guns.

“Pasts are something to be forgotten here,” D said finally. “But if you need someone to talk to about yours, Lily and I will support you.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it, you know.”

Cherri fiddled with his ray gun. “Yeah.”

“Just putting that out there.” D turned back to their target practice.

- 

Despite D’s words, there was a silent agreement amongst the three of them that pasts were not to be spoken of or asked about. Occasionally, D or Lily would tell a few stories, mainly from their childhood. They rarely talked about the Helium Wars, only occasionally with each other. And Cherri said nothing about his past. Instead, he pretended not to notice the days when the other two flinched at any loud sound, and they pretended not to hear him cry out in the night, when everything was silent and there was no buffer against the memories. It was a courtesy more than anything, a way to keep each other from having to speak about their darkest times. Usually, Cherri appreciated that, finding it easier to deal with any hurt alone than worry about burdening the others.

Tonight, however, was different. No matter how much he tried to calm himself down, his breath kept coming too quickly and he couldn’t drown out the voices of his past. Worthless, never going to amount to anything…should be more like Samantha…your grades are slipping again…never going to be a boy…

Cherri shivered violently, even though the blanket was tucked safely over him, and climbed off the window seat he had been using as a sort of bed, picking up said blanket. It was cold in the desert at night, no use leaving it behind. 

It took him more rests of leaning against the wall and trying frantically to draw a single breath than he wanted to admit before he was down the hall to the room D and Lily had claimed. Their door was cracked open, but Cherri pushed it open a little bit further to see both of them seemingly sleeping peacefully as he stood in the doorway.

“Cher?” That was White Lily, lifting her head a bit from the mattress. “Everything okay?”

He managed to shake his head, and she gestured for him to come sit. 

“What’s going on, friendo?”

“Bad dream,” Cherri whispered.

“Ah. Those are no fun. Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

Lily nodded as if to say that didn’t surprise her, and she looked dreadfully like someone he used to know in that moment. “Come on then, lay on down. D won’t mind if you elbow him, he gets up at ass o’clock in the morning anyways.”

Cherri was quite certain D would, in fact, mind, but he did as she asked anyways, settling down on the creaky mattress. Lily put her arm out in what was clearly an offer, but didn’t touch him until he rolled over towards her. When he did, she wrapped her arm around him fully, pulling him closer, and Cherri felt like he could breathe for the first time since waking up. 

Lily didn’t say ‘I love you’ or anything of the sort, but she did ruffle his hair and give him a quiet “Goodnight, Cher.”

And Cherri didn’t say ‘I love you’ either, but he leaned into her embrace. “Goodnight, Lily.”

-

True to Lily’s words, it was, in fact, what Cherri would qualify as ‘ass o’clock in the morning’ when D woke up and proceeded to wake the other two up while getting out of bed.

“Is it even light out?” Cherri questioned as Lily gave a massive yawn.

“No, which is why D’s being an asshole.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, Lil. Or you, Cherri.” He didn’t question why Cherri was there, much to Cherri’s relief.

“You did anyways,” Lily grumbled, but she released Cherri and sat up. “I guess it would be time to get up soon anyways.”

“Exactly,” D huffed.

Lily just yawn-laughed as she got up, and Cherri reluctantly followed the others downstairs. They had quick breakfast in the predawn light, followed by a bit of fussing around as they got ready for D’s morning broadcast, organizing all the news and things that had come in yesterday. Killjoys had started to send them news of the desert, to the point where they got almost as much from what people sent in/dropped off/radioed to them as what Cherri found out on his almost daily runs. It was starting to pass what he could find out on daily runs, really. But he went anyways because they still needed his info, and they needed to eat.

“Bye, Lily, D!” 

“See you, Cherri,” Lily hollered back. “Be careful!”

“I will!”

The three of them split the tasks that living in the desert and running a radio station required. Today, D and Lily were taking the radio station van to drive around and talk to people, encourage them to join the cause. Cherri was taking the motorcycle to get any news and see if he couldn’t grab some power pup from a supply truck.

He sped down the road, getting in position to raid the supply truck. A one-killjoy raid was a dumb idea, for sure, but Better Living Industries hadn’t started to arm their trucks very heavily yet, and Cherri was confident enough in his ability to think he could pull it off. This was a small one, anyways. The initial raid went off without a hitch- the driver and few accompanying dracs were dead before they had time to see the teenage killjoy who hurried down from the dune to pull out as much of the contents of the truck as would fit in the sidecar of the motorbike. It was afterwards that became the problem, as a full two cars of bli employees came rushing towards the site.

“Fuck,” Cherri hissed under his breath. He quickly assessed his odds. One teenager with a shitty ray gun and a motorcycle against what must be at least one scarecrow and probably at least eight dracs was not good odds, but he doubted running away would be any better. They would chase him down, and then he wouldn’t even have the advantage of his higher vantage point. Hiding wasn’t an option either, given that dracs would search the entire area, so Cherri crouched behind the motorcycle and got ready to fire.

When the first person hopped out of the car, Cherri almost swore out loud. Not a scarecrow. An exterminator. He was so fucked. 

Cherri’s hands shook slightly as he lifted the ray gun and aimed. He had to take down that exterminator as soon as possible, or he was dead. The shakiness proved his undoing, as the shot whistled past the exterminator, missing by barely half an inch and causing the Better Living operative to turn.

Fuck it. Cherri got out from behind the motorcycle and ran directly towards them, firing off shots indiscriminately. His best shot now was to overwhelm and confuse them. It seemed to be working, given that one thing they did not expect was a teenager in a bright pink mask to come running directly at them. In fact, most of the dracs froze, enough that he was able to get in a few good shots before they realized what was happening. One shot even hit the exterminator in the shoulder, but unfortunately not their shooting arm, leaving them perfectly capable of raising their gun to retaliate. 

Retaliate they did, and Cherri screamed as a shot hit him in the side. “Fuck! Fuck you!” He was shaking too hard to shoot back as the exterminator held up a hand, quite calmly.

All the dracs stopped, and the exterminator strolled casually towards Cherri. “Greetings, rebel.”

Cherri spit at their feet. 

“Rather rude of you, wasn’t that? I’m tempted to kill you here, you ill-mannered rebel scum.” They reached out and tilted Cherri’s chin up to look them in the eye, letting him see the cold fire that lingered there. 

“Get fucked,” Cherri spat out as they took his ray gun from a shaking hand and tossed it over their shoulder. 

“I do appreciate the suggestion, but I suggest you keep your mouth shut if you want to live.”

Their ray gun was positioned at his neck, and Cherri knew he had a low chance of surviving even a stun shot to that spot at such a close distance.

“I would kill you now, ill-mannered rebel, but I think I’ll let you live for one reason and one reason only- I want you to go to that ‘Doctor D’ and his friend White Lily, and tell them they will not win. We will find the radio station you killjoys speak of, we know your precious leader is hiding out in Zone Four. So go, tell them. And pray you survive that shot.”

They shoved Cherri, and he stumbled away, ignoring the pain in his side as he climbed onto the motorcycle. He revved the engine, throwing it into action and barely caring if some of the supplies fell out of the sidecar. 

The exterminator watched him go with a cruel smile.

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Prompt List

So, I decided to make an official prompt list. So, when I open requests, you can use a prompt from here, or just send me whatever you want. You can check out what I write before

1). “This is who I am, I know I’m a monster but I can’t change who I am.”

2.) “What’s a motto?” “I don’t know what’s the motto with you.”

3.) “How many fucking times do you think I’m going to let myself go through this again?”

4.) “Do you know what it’s like to go to bed every day to escape your demons only to find new ones haunting you?” 

5.) “Dude, that was crazy! I didn’t think that would work.” “Me neither.”

6.) “Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes“ “Damn it.”

7.) ”I don’t need your forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for your permission”

8.) “It hurts me that you can lie to me so easily. It hurts that you always lie to me. When can I have the truth? Is it too much to ask for?”

9.) “I’ve been telling her not to, it’s not my fault that she’s a prick and can’t do shit when she’s told to.”

10.) “Do you ever think about everything you’ve done in your life? How do you not hate yourself?

11.) “I’m not proud of much, but I’m proud of you.”

12.) “If you’re here, and he’s here, then who the hell is making all that ruckus in my bedroom?”

13.) “Please forgive me.”

14.) “Let her. Let her kill me. Let her hurt me. I deserve it.”

15.) “P-Please hold me.”

16.) “That is false.”

17.) “I-I can’t remember what I did yesterday or what I did today. I-I don’t know where I am.”

18.) “You were supposed to be my friend. You were supposed to be my family.”

19.) “Own up to who you are. Never let anyone shoot you down.”

20.) “As Sir Isaac Newton once said, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

21.) “I thought dragons came after virgins… so why aren’t they after you?”

22.) “Being insanely smart has its downs.”

23.) “You said you’ll always be there for me. You lied.”

24.) “Yes! I’m a real person! I have real people’s feelings!”

25.)  “It’s us, always and forever.”

26.) “I have to pick between the only people I’ve ever cared about, and whoever I don’t pick dies.”

27.) “Why are you always running away from me? I’m not that bad!” “You’re the devil in a white suit.”

28.) “Can we please stop this? W-We’s always fighting. I-I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.”

29.) “I hope you learned your lesson, next time I won’t be there to save your ass.” “W-What are you talking about? What do you mean you won’t be there?”

30.) “Eres un idiota.” “Did you just call me an idiot in Spanish?” “What?! I would never.”

31.) “But why does this matter? I can guarantee you that I’m never gonna use it.”

32.) “Doesn’t it bother you that we can never be normal?” “Maybe it did. But now, being different is better.” 

33.) “So, if you’re so good with kids, then where the hell is mine?” “That’s not fair.” “It’s your fault.”

34.) “I’m too tired to care.”

35.) “I don’t want to kill you. But I will. Because my family is more important. So again, leave. Now.”

36.) “Danger’s my last name!” “I thought it was (Y/L/N)?”

37.) “I-I can’t find anything of my meds. Not my anti-depressants, not my pain killers, not my anxiety meds. I-I can’t stop shaking.”

38.) “I have to write a 4-page long argumentative essay.” “Well, you are good at arguing.”

39.) “But you tried. That’s what counts. Not everything is a success.”

40.) “Ugh, it’s you again. Didn’t you die last year?” “No, that was fake.”

41.) “Don’t do that!”

42.) “You’re so stupid! I hate you and your stupid little face!”

43.) “What the hell?! You’re supposed to be taking an exam right now! What the hell are you doing here?!”

44.) “Did I stutter?”

 45.) “Let go of my pie. Now.”

46.) “You’re sneaking out, aren’t you?”

47.) “How many times must I tell you? No drinking before dark.

48.) “So, you have a metal arm? That’s exciting.”

49.) “Do you think that I’m gonna leave you? You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.”

50.) “Uhm, am I going crazy, or do you also see that horse?”

51.) “You’re not who I thought you were. You’re better.”

52.) “Are you sure you two aren’t related?”

53.) “There are literal monsters, roaming the streets, and you’re telling me to stay calm?!”

54.) “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but there are ways to solve your problems, without violence.”

55.) “Well, I didn’t expect that.”

56.) “You look like you need a hug, kid. What’s on your mind?”

57.) “Please don’t! She’s a child!” “So what? Many children die every day, why should yours live?”

58.) “I said to blend in! Not dress like you just killed someone!”

59.) “You’re lying.” “That makes two of us

60.)” Well, this is awkward.”

61.) I uh, think I might be pregnant.”

62.) “Do you want me to kill somebody for you?”

63.) “I thought you were dead?” “Yeah, guess I was hell to put up with. Even for Hell.

64.) Prove it to me. Prove to me this world would be better without you. ‘Cuz it won’t. Let me show you how much you mean to me. To us. Just please, get down from there.”

65.) “Let me help you cook before you burn down my house.”

66.) “I’m not scared of you. You’re like a little puppy!”

67.) “I want you to come with me, not anyone else.”

68.) “Do you know each other?”

69.)   “I hate you.” “I know. But you need me.”

70.) “Isn’t it a beautiful day to create some chaos?”

71.) “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

72.) “Welcome to Vampire 101. Don’t get caught by hunters.”

73.) “Please don’t hurt them! They’ve done nothing wrong!”

74.) “I’m doing the best I can! I don’t know how to drive!”

75.) “I heard screaming, are you okay?”

76.) “Hey! Are you telling me I’m bad at my job!”

77.) “I really don’t care.”

78.) “I can’t remember. I wish I could.”

79.) “Watch your language!”

80.) “Hey, I can’t find the scissors, can we use your claws?”

81.) "Minutes. We only have minutes till it's too late.

82.) "Just be careful. I don't want a call at 3 AM from the hospital saying that you died.

83.) "What do you want?! I'm playing Mario Kart!"

84.) "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." "Yeah, it's called hellfire.

85.) "Who gives a rat's ass about Chemistry?!

86.) "Oh my god just your voice makes me wanna die!

87.) "Why the hell is there a 72-inch teddy bear on my bed?

88.) "None of us here have a life, so who the hell is texting you at 10 PM?

89.) "I just want it to end? Can't you just leave me to die?!"

90.) "Okay, he keeps giving me the evil eye."

91.) "I've been stabbed more times than days I've been alive."

92.) "Did you cut your hair?" "No, I got stabbed by a knife."

93.) "Please save me."

94.) "A shady ass mansion and 6 weird ass kids, what could go wrong?"

95.) "Oh my god they are dating! You owe me 5 bucks!"

96.) "No! There's something wrong with me, everyone always leaves me!"

97.) "Why is there a 5-year-old in your hands?"

98.) "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant."

99.) "So, I'm a witch, my dad's a hunter, and my mom's an evil coven leader. Talk about a messed up family."

100.) "You know what they say, the kindest one is the most broken one."

101.) "I've got all the time in the world for you."

102.) "I-I didn't kill him."

103.) "You're covered in blood."

104.) "Took years, but I finally have the courage to say it, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

105.) "Well, I'm never working at this coffee shop again."

106.) "I accidentally drank dish soap."

107.) "He's kinda hot."

108.) "Are you drunk? Again?"

109.) "I can feel myself, fading away."

110.) "Don't stray away from me, I love you."

111.) “It’s a hard life but I had you. And I’d never give up that.”

112.) “Don’t move! One wrong step and you’ll die!”

113.) “You are good enough. Don’t doubt yourself.”

114.) "Do you smell something burning?" "Dude, that's your hair."

115.) "I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb."

116.) “He saved my life, (name). You keep saying everyone else doesn't forgive him. I know you’re the one who doesn't. Stop acting like you're the high and mighty merciful one. I’m going to find him, and you’re not gonna stop me,”

117.) "I love you, why are you pushing me away?"

118.) "Why is nothing I do good enough for you? Every time you look at me, it's like you're just staring at a steaming pile of disappointment. Why do you always think you're better than me?"

119.) "I-I know you're there. Just please let me out."

120.) "You're gonna kill me? With what, reckless driving?"

121.) I'm listening to you, I have been fucking listen to you!"

122.) "Know that you are good enough,"

123.) "I'm sorry that I was a dick. Just please, don't leave."

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#3)

Let’s see what we have on the slate. this should be the premiere of s3: Speak Your Truth. I am watching this during school, so let’s see how bad my focus is.

-the episode description is “The shooting of Dr. Charles moves to the courtroom and things turn complicated for the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med.” so still on brand for being all sorts of vague.

-all that really says is more sarah angst so big sad

-let’s get started

-god back to classic med, starting things off fast, just how i like it

-how tf kellogg live through the headshot. guy can’t do anything right

-connor running towards charles on the guerney screaming “what the hell happened!?” and sharon just being “he got shot.” is so fucking hilarous to me i have no clue why

-oh god i remember how much it bothered me that connor changed his hair from the end of s2 to the start of s3 lol (bc it’s supposed to be the same night, but yk, nitpicking)

-the time jump is such an interesting choice. i remember it was jarring at first. i’m sure i’ll have more to say as the episode goes on

-aw hey guys look its sarah! adorable

-also stoll

-oh god, nat taking a sabbatical was weird

-WHEN SHE LOOKS AT WILL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN PAIN IM SCREAMING

-counting

-oh boy watching s3 means i get to watch noah get thrown through a glass door and also be a disappointment

-the way connor is effortlessly charming here in the beginning is maybe the only reason i tolerate his character (also more of sarah being adorable)

-horney boi. stop it.

-noah following after sarah like a lovesick puppy is funny

-sarah saying ‘he’s the reason i went into psych...’ honey, psych is not good for your mental health please stop giving him credit

-HOLD THE FUCK ON?????

-its the s3 premiere and Sarah talks about her dad and her strained relationship, specifically because noah compares charles getting shot to her dad getting shot. but like, foreshadowing... maybe i should give the med writers a smidge more of credit than I have been in terms of planning things...

-sarah: “don’t compare my dad to dr. charles.”

-long sigh. god... sarah being so supportive. and charles just being ‘No???’

-not to be weird but court room scenes always get me feeling some sorta way

-haha its peter stone! remember him? remember chicago justice?

-THE BETRAYAL ON SARAH’S FACE - she cares so much about him and he’s about to get his own shooter acquitted.

-god sarah is just fucking fantastic. she feels so passionately about caring about people

-god charles fucking hates himself so much? he should Not be ava’s mentor

-charles: “I think the shooting is affecting your objectivity.” sarah: “mY oBjECtiViTy?!”

-also they said ‘the fact he was concealing a weapon shows like fear malicious content’ or what ever. and uh,, sarah? please. please, for my sanity. (bc of what happens later in the season)

-charles- you know how you can help me? fuck off.

-lol this kid is the one who had like a tooth ache, and now his brain is rotting or something. probably will happen to me (@ my parents please let me see the dentist)

-this is where doris is like ethan is playing favorites

-the like background noises of the ed calm me down. they prob really shouldn’t

-they’re gonna fuckkkkk

-something to be said about sarah being gung ho about kellogg being off the streets and a danger to society when... her dad...

- I really like when med does the thing when one character is just standing in the ed and they transition to the next story by having the next character run past

-what is with all of the nurses drama like honestly

-hey guys look its ava! (let see if i have enough brain cells to find anything)

-heyyyy look at that. ava trying usurp some of connor’s cases. while, yeah she is being a tad undermining, connor’s gf was literally just discharged from a psych hold. this is just an interaction to keep in mind for future events.

-ava’s playing full cunning while connor’s busy fucking his girlfriend

-dont hate the player man

-because they’re both under latham, they’re more rivals than hero/villain, bc they have a common guy who is their advisor. but yeah. dont hate the player

-robin calling ava ‘cruella’ is making want to throw hands ngl. god dude chill - bc it means either robin just saw ava interacting with people and thought ‘what a bitch’ or connor was complaining about ava and either way I hate it.

-connor broke up with robin bc she was too horneyyy (ik he didn’t break up w her but yk)

-connor - reese interaction was nice. until he started blaming her bruh wtf chilll

-her arguing with connor is like. peak. (ava + sarah teaming up to bully connor and not take any of his shit?? i think yes)

-this ethan april thing is stupid. i’m just gonna say it.

-ava: “that would have been a really great idea if you were trying to kill him.” SHE TAKES NO. SURVIVORS. i love her so much

-YEAH RHODES GET FUCKED! i think one of the reasons ava was disliked at first was bc latham kind of favored her and... literally everyone else favored connor? so get fucked? but here, ava can obviously hold her own and connor is just whining. I’m glad they put them on equal ground bc connor and ava’s direct superior is on ava’s side, and literally everyone else is with connor. AND CONNORS STILL PLAYED AS AN UNDERDOG BC AVA TOOK HIS SURGERY! HOW. infuriating

-anyway, for the purposes of the theory ava is capable enough to hold her own as a stand alone, and clever enough to be entertaining

-holy shit no i think i just remembered how this storyline goes. connor gets a better surgery, right? he gets glory and stuff. this is too fucking rich, come on. let one thing go wrong for him.

-i miss ava

-GOD SARAH LOOKS GOOD IN HER FUCKING BLAZER. unfair. unmatched

-stop it sarah you have anxiety.

-SARAH NO. BABY IS SCARED.

-okay. Ava is half bickering, half flirting with him, a little annoying but we put up with it bc we love her and its not her fault she’s supposed to be his love interest. but still, it’s playful, it’s not neccesarily flirting. conceivably, she could be talking to anybody. But then, she tells him to relax, to take a day off. SHE’S STILL A GOOD PERSON. SHE’S NOT TRYING TO EXPLICITLY SPITE CONNOR, OR ANYONE. that’s what people tend to forget. she’s not malicious.

-connor thinks she is tho. maybe that’s why some people hated her, bc connor hated her

-charles: “kellogg is not a criminal” BRUH HE SHOT YOU

-HOLY SHIT. SHARON RN IS LIKE YOU WANT KELLOGG TO BE FREE BC YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE SIGNS OF A KILLER AND ITS ABOUT YOUR EGO

-AND??? SARAH’S DAD ANYONE? that was why he was so persistent of sarah’s dad. he wanted to catch the signs.

-OKAY HERE. When latham is like, wait, did ava manipulate me? is she actually sus? he was the one person on her side and then boom he sides with connor. literally do you have any idea how great ava would be without connor?

-this manstead thing is soooo exhausting

Okay so what have we learned?

Ava is getting Connor’s cases. kind of rude but also, they’re surgeons? It’s super competitive. AND CONNOR LITERALLY WON THAT ROUND BC LATHAM SWITCHED SIDES???

AND SHE STILL TOLD CONNOR TO GET SLEEP. LIKE SHE WAS BEING NICE WHILE ALSO BEING SNARKY

ava had less lines in the ep than in s2 and honestly. wtf.

not much content, but if you look at her content, come on she’s still amazing.

thanks for sticking through

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[razorblade180]

The F Word

{Lasting Embers AU}

[Cult Base, currently on fire]

Yang:Adam can I ask you something?

Adam:*disarming a bomb* Ummm can it wait?

Yang:I missed a lot with Yujin so I was wondering if you could just rapid fire anything about her or your overall experience with her?

Adam:Uhhh, not much to say really.

Yang:You’ve trained her for years and there’s not much to say!?

Cult members:* run in* Freeze!!!!!

Adam:Can you-

He turns around to see Yang grab a member and throw him into another one. She proceeds to backflip into a heel drop, sending another member right into the floor.

Adam:Damn, I don’t miss being that guy.

Yang:*still fighting* Come on dude, give me something!

Adam:Yujin is like you. Stubborn, skilled, hotheaded; at thirteen she freaking out over zits. Teenage stuff.

Yang:Did she ever mention me?

Adam:Through the years it got less frequent, but yeah. All she wanted was to know more about you.

Yang:What’d you tell her.

Adam:The truth; you’re the cream of the crop in terms of fighting.

Yang:I’m flattered. *drop kicks a man*

Adam:*disarms bomb* Got it! Can you do me a favor?

Yang:What?

He clicks a button and throws it at her. A timer for ten seconds appears and panic immediately sets in. With a kick she launches the bomb down the hallway where it explodes near more members.

Adam:See? Anyone else would’ve messed up and got blown away.

Yang:Sometimes I feel like you’re still out to get me.

Adam:Sometimes I feel like I’m still the guy drowning in a river. I guess that’s life.

Yang:......

Yang:Hey, I’ll never be sorry for that, but I am thankful for the things you did for my family. It honestly means a lot; especially learning that you were managing your own.

Adam:That credit goes to Jacquelyn. I just try to be there when I can. *peeks into hallway*

*troops running at them*

Adam:I knew I should’ve set it for fifteen. *grabs sword* Yang, Raging Bull.

Yang:I still don’t like that name.

She grabs Adam by the left arm and gives him a good spin. At the end she launches him forward which sends him flying towards the enemies. Before they can even do anything they’re mowed down by his sword and the flares from ember celica. He lands into a tuck and roll that has him sliding into the next room where a Paladin awaits with a cultist.

Adam:Seriously?

Yang:Hey you took out like- woah, that’s a big boy!!!!

Paladin:*fires rockets*

Yang:*blasting her own* So how are your kids?

Adam:I don’t remember you being this chatty.

Yang:On missions like this you tend to learn how to pass the time. On your left.

Adam:*shoots a guy* My kids are fine. Sienna decided to follow and my footsteps and join the shadows.

Yang:Good for her, cover me please? *reloading*

Adam:Yep.

Paladin:*shooting bullets*

Adam:*deflecting them all* Honestly I wish she did something less dangerous. Her life’s been rough and frankly I think it robbed her of any real childhood experience. I couldn’t persuade her to change occupations.

Yang:That sounds relatable. Could’ve grounded her.

Adam:I tried that. *moonslices guns off* She threatened to be an escort.....

Yang:*snorts* I did a similar thing when my dad didn’t want me to be a huntress. Good to know that tactic is timeless.

Cultist:Are you even taking this seriously!!?

Adam and Yang:Not really, no.

Yang:Honestly the bomb gave me more anxiety.

Adam:I know right? I think they’re getting desperate.

Paladin:*charges at them*

Yang:I think you’re right.

Adam locks his fingers together and boost Yang into the air towards the machine. Metal fists collide to create an immense shock wave that pushes it back into a wall and Yang doing the same. Luckily Adam catches her before the impact and puts her down.

Yang:I swear those things get harder to break.

Adam:Maybe you’re getting old.

Yang:You’re older than me! Also we’re not even that old!

Adam:Stop crying, I was joking around. Afraid your hair might turn gray or something?

Yang:Don’t wish that on me. Oh, tell me about your other daughter! The one Yujin’s age!

Adam:Hmmmmm, they have the same birthday.

Yang:Really!?

Cultist:Stop ignoring me! *charging laser*

Adam:Yeah she was premature; also some medical issues.

Yang:Heart problem right? That has to rough.

Adam:Man sometimes she scares me with how much she acts like me. Jael is really good kid and unfortunately she’s too feisty for her own health; reckless too. I hope she’s taking her meds right.

Yang:*smiling*.........

Adam:What?

Yang:You sound like my dad. It’s weird but refreshing all at once. Both of them mean the world to you huh?

Adam:Of course, *smirks* they’re my girls.

Yang:*stetching* I guess that means we should pick up the pace so we can go home then?

Adam:Took the words right out of my mouth.

Yang:Nevermore.....

A massive blue beam is fired right at the two that engulfs the entire room; bringing laughter to the cultist. He watches is handy work proudly until the blue light slowly gets smaller and is soon replaced by the red of Adam’s sword. What’s worse is Yang is entirely missing.

Cultist:Wh...what?

Adam:Nothing personal but I have other things to do.

A boom from the back of the robot catches the cultist of gaurd. The camera inside shows Yang smiling hard as ever as the punch knocks him off balance. Soon after, the entire right torso of the boy is cut clean through the Paladin and the wave of power makes it way towards a guarding Yang. Her whole body erupts in flames as her fist reels back and slams into the left torso; shattering it. A single flare makes its way through and back to Adam’s sword as he watches the man free fall.

Cultist:I should’ve used more bombs.

Adam:You really should’ve. *raises sword*

Yang:Wait......*turns around*

Adam:What are you doing?

Yang:I still don’t like seeing people die like that. *covers ears*

Adam:......

Patiently she waits for the familiar sound of the moon slice and the uncomfortable wet sound of it hitting its target, but it never came. Instead a loud bang echoes through the room that instantly makes her jump and turn around. Before her laid the cultist member on the ground and smoke coming from Adam’s gun.

Yang:You....shot him?

Adam:Yeah, I......didn’t feel like wasting anymore aura. *sheathes blade*

Yang:.....Thanks.

Adam:Don’t thank me for that; it feels wrong. I’m just atoning is all.

Yang:*holds out robo hand*.......

Adam:*shakes it*........we should regroup with the others. *walks away*

Yang:.......(I can’t believe I’m gonna say this) Hey ummmm, Adam?

Adam:What?

Yang:*walks passed him* I think atonement between us ended awhile go. Far as I’m concerned........we’re friends now. So.... I got your back alright.

Adam:......Hmph, now I know I must be old. I think my mind is playing tricks on me. *rubbing his head* Thank you; looks like Yujin gets her heart from you as well.

Yang:If you tell anyone I’ll deny it.

Adam:Same here; I just might lose all credibility if this gets out.

Yang:Pfft, I’d make you cool and you know it.

Adam:I guess Yujin gets her cockiness from you too. Let’s go.

Yang:Yeah!

The two of them run off side by side; ready to take on whatever happens next.

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

Prompt List

Check out What I Write before requesting

1). “This is who I am, I know I’m a monster but I can’t change who I am.”

2.) “What’s a motto?” “I don’t know what’s the motto with you.”

3.) “How many fucking times do you think I’m going to let myself go through this again?”

4.) “Do you know what it’s like to go to bed every day to escape your demons only to find new ones haunting you?” 

5.) “Dude, that was crazy! I didn’t think that would work.” “Me neither.”

6.) “Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes“ “Damn it.”

7.) ”I don’t need your forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for your permission”

8.) “It hurts me that you can lie to me so easily. It hurts that you always lie to me. When can I have the truth? Is it too much to ask for?”

9.) “I’ve been telling her not to, it’s not my fault that she’s a prick and can’t do shit when she’s told to.”

10.) “Do you ever think about everything you’ve done in your life? How do you not hate yourself?

11.) “I’m not proud of much, but I’m proud of you.”

12.) “If you’re here, and he’s here, then who the hell is making all that ruckus in my bedroom?”

13.) “Please forgive me.”

14.) “Let her. Let her kill me. Let her hurt me. I deserve it.”

15.) “P-Please hold me.”

16.) “That is false.”

17.) “I-I can’t remember what I did yesterday or what I did today. I-I don’t know where I am.”

18.) “You were supposed to be my friend. You were supposed to be my family.”

19.) “Own up to who you are. Never let anyone shoot you down.”

20.) “As Sir Isaac Newton once said, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

21.) “I thought dragons came after virgins… so why aren’t they after you?”

22.) “Being insanely smart has its downs.”

23.) “You said you’ll always be there for me. You lied.”

24.) “Yes! I’m a real person! I have real people’s feelings!”

25.)  “It’s us, always and forever.”

26.) “I have to pick between the only people I’ve ever cared about, and whoever I don’t pick dies.”

27.) “Why are you always running away from me? I’m not that bad!” “You’re the devil in a white suit.”

28.) “Can we please stop this? W-We’re always fighting. I-I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.”

29.) “I hope you learned your lesson, next time I won’t be there to save your ass.” “W-What are you talking about? What do you mean you won’t be there?”

30.) “Eres un idiota.” “Did you just call me an idiot in Spanish?” “What?! I would never.”

31.) “But why does this matter? I can guarantee you that I’m never gonna use it.”

32.) “Doesn’t it bother you that we can never be normal?” “Maybe it did. But now, being different is better.” 

33.) “So, if you’re so good with kids, then where the hell is mine?” “That’s not fair.” “It’s your fault.”

34.) “I’m too tired to care.”

35.) “I don’t want to kill you. But I will. Because my family is more important. So again, leave. Now.”

36.) “Danger’s my last name!” “I thought it was (Y/L/N)?”

37.) “I-I can’t find anything of my meds. Not my anti-depressants, not my pain killers, not my anxiety meds. I-I can’t stop shaking.”

38.) “I have to write a 4-page long argumentative essay.” “Well, you are good at arguing.”

39.) “But you tried. That’s what counts. Not everything is a success.”

40.) “Ugh, it’s you again. Didn’t you die last year?” “No, that was fake.”

41.) “Don’t do that!”

42.) “You’re so stupid! I hate you and your stupid little face!”

43.) “What the hell?! You’re supposed to be taking an exam right now! What the hell are you doing here?!”

44.) “Did I stutter?”

 45.) “Let go of my pie. Now.”

46.) “You’re sneaking out, aren’t you?”

47.) “How many times must I tell you? No drinking before dark.

48.) “So, you have a metal arm? That’s exciting.”

49.) “Do you think that I’m gonna leave you? You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.”

50.) “Uhm, am I going crazy, or do you also see that horse?”

51.) “You’re not who I thought you were. You’re better.”

52.) “Are you sure you two aren’t related?”

53.) “There are literal monsters, roaming the streets, and you’re telling me to stay calm?!”

54.) “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but there are ways to solve your problems, without violence.”

55.) “Well, I didn’t expect that.”

56.) “You look like you need a hug, kid. What’s on your mind?”

57.) “Please don’t! She’s a child!” “So what? Many children die every day, why should yours live?”

58.) “I said to blend in! Not dress like you just killed someone!”

59.) “You’re lying.” “That makes two of us

60.)” Well, this is awkward.”

61.) I uh, think I might be pregnant.”

62.) “Do you want me to kill somebody for you?”

63.) “I thought you were dead?” “Yeah, guess I was hell to put up with. Even for Hell.

64.) Prove it to me. Prove to me this world would be better without you. ‘Cuz it won’t. Let me show you how much you mean to me. To us. Just please, get down from there.”

65.) “Let me help you cook before you burn down my house.”

66.) “I’m not scared of you. You’re like a little puppy!”

67.) “I want you to come with me, not anyone else.”

68.) “Do you know each other?”

69.)   “I hate you.” “I know. But you need me.”

70.) “Isn’t it a beautiful day to create some chaos?”

71.) “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

72.) “Welcome to Vampire 101. Don’t get caught by hunters.”

73.) “Please don’t hurt them! They’ve done nothing wrong!”

74.) “I’m doing the best I can! I don’t know how to drive!”

75.) “I heard screaming, are you okay?”

76.) “Hey! Are you telling me I’m bad at my job!”

77.) “I really don’t care.”

78.) “I can’t remember. I wish I could.”

79.) “Watch your language!”

80.) “Hey, I can’t find the scissors, can we use your claws?”

81.) "Minutes. We only have minutes till it's too late.

82.) "Just be careful. I don't want a call at 3 AM from the hospital saying that you died.

83.) "What do you want?! I'm playing Mario Kart!"

84.) "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." "Yeah, it's called hellfire.

85.) "Who gives a rat's ass about Chemistry?!

86.) "Oh my god just your voice makes me wanna die!

87.) "Why the hell is there a 72-inch teddy bear on my bed?

88.) "None of us here have a life, so who the hell is texting you at 10 PM?

89.) "I just want it to end? Can't you just leave me to die?!"

90.) "Okay, he keeps giving me the evil eye."

91.) "I've been stabbed more times than days I've been alive."

92.) "Did you cut your hair?" "No, I got stabbed by a knife."

93.) "Please save me."

94.) "A shady ass mansion and 6 weird ass kids, what could go wrong?"

95.) "Oh my god they are dating! You owe me 5 bucks!"

96.) "No! There's something wrong with me, everyone always leaves me!"

97.) "Why is there a 5-year-old in your hands?"

98.) "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant."

99.) "So, I'm a witch, my dad's a hunter, and my mom's an evil coven leader. Talk about a messed up family."

100.) "You know what they say, the kindest one is the most broken one."

101.) "I've got all the time in the world for you."

102.) "I-I didn't kill him."

103.) "You're covered in blood."

104.) "Took years, but I finally have the courage to say it, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

105.) "Well, I'm never working at this coffee shop again."

106.) "I accidentally drank dish soap."

107.) "He's kinda hot."

108.) "Are you drunk? Again?"

109.) "I can feel myself, fading away."

110.) "Don't stray away from me, I love you."

111.) “It’s a hard life but I had you. And I’d never give up that.”

112.) “Don’t move! One wrong step and you’ll die!”

113.) “You are good enough. Don’t doubt yourself.”

114.) "Do you smell something burning?" "Dude, that's your hair,"

115.) "I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb."

116.) “He saved my life, (name). You keep saying everyone else doesn't forgive him. I know you’re the one who doesn't. Stop acting like you're the high and mighty merciful one. I’m going to find him, and you’re not gonna stop me,”

117.) "I love you, why are you pushing me away?"

118.) "Why is nothing I do good enough for you? Every time you look at me, it's like you're just staring at a steaming pile of disappointment. Why do you always think you're better than me?"

119.) "I-I know you're there. Just please let me out."

120.) "You're gonna kill me? With what, reckless driving?"

121.) "I'm listening to you, I have been fucking listening to you!"

122.) "Know that you are good enough."

123.) "I'm sorry that I was a dick. Just please, don't leave."

[mustangshelby04]

Boston Boy - Chapter 17

Lisa held her son tightly as he sobbed.  He was in hysterics.  Helena was back out at the nurse’s station again demanding to speak with anyone that could give her information on what was happening with her daughter.  Scott was pacing furiously around the room.  Lisa had demanded that he be allowed back since he was family.  

“Why won’t they tell us anything?” Scott growled.

“Those nurses are useless!” Helena snapped as she marched back into the room. “She’s my daughter for crying out loud!”

“I refuse to believe she’s anything but ok.” Lisa said.  This caused Chris to let out another sob. “Would they tell you anything about the baby?”

“Nothing.” Helena said. “The doctor hasn’t cleared them to divulge any information.”

Finally, forty-five minutes after Chris had been dragged out of the OR, Dr. Beauchamp came into the room.  Chris jumped to his feet. “What’s going on?  Where’s my fiancée?  Where’s my baby?”

“Kate’s in recovery.” Dr. Beauchamp said. “Her blood pressure bottomed out. We think it was a reaction to the booster and the anti-anxiety meds after a hard labor.  We had to give her a shot of adrenaline to bring her back.”

“Is she ok?” Helena asked. “Is my daughter ok?”

“She’s on her way to ok.”

“What about the baby?” Lisa asked.

“Your granddaughter is doing good.  She’s in the NICU right now just as a precaution since she’s pre-term. Chris, you can go see her.”

“What about Kate?” Chris asked.

“I’m headed back there now.  Once I feel she’s stable enough, we’ll move her back in here.  This is Nurse Rose,” Dr. Beauchamp gestured to the middle-aged woman with brown hair in pink scrubs standing in the doorway. “She’ll take you to your daughter.”

Chris looked at his mother and Helena. “Go!” Lisa prodded, pushing him towards the door. “We’ll be right here.”

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Kate’s eyes fluttered open again and she realized she was back in the birthing suite.  Her nose itched like crazy, but when she went to scratch it she noticed her hand was shaking fiercely.  She remembered waking up once before covered in warm blankets and heating pads and shaking even harder than she was now.  That room hadn’t been as nice as this one.  She giggled at that random thought.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Helena said.  Kate turned her head to find her mother sitting on the bed with her. “Welcome back.”

“Mom?” Kate croaked.

“Hang on.” Helena turned and grabbed the cup of ice water off the nightstand. “Drink this.” She helped Kate sip on the straw and the cold liquid felt amazing.

“Why am I shaking so bad?”

“We almost lost you, baby.  The doctor had to give you adrenaline.  She said you would probably be shaky.”

Kate looked around the room. “Where’s Chris?”

“He’s with your daughter down in NICU.” Lisa said, coming to sit on Kate’s other side.  Kate realized that Scott, Carly, and Shanna were also in the room. “They’ll be on their way here soon.”

“Daughter?  We have a daughter?”

“Chris says she’s perfect.” Scott said, standing behind his mother.

Kate started to cry and Helena pulled her close and held her. She stroked her hair soothingly, whispering comforting words to her. “Why does my nose itch so bad?” Kate complained.

“That’s the morphine.” Carly said. “It may do wonders for the pain, but it made me itch like crazy.”

The door opened and a nurse wheeled in an empty bassinet. Chris walked in behind her holding a tiny bundle in his arms.  He smiled brightly when he saw Kate was awake.  Lisa stood up to give him her spot and Chris timidly sat down.  Lisa and Helena ushered Scott, Carly, and Shanna out into the hallway to give the new parents some time to themselves.

“Hey.” Chris said to Kate. “You wanna meet our daughter?” Kate smiled, a sob hitching in her chest.  She reached out to touch the perfect little cherub cheek, but her hand still shook.  She jerked it back, scared to even touch her daughter while she was like this. “Hey, it’s ok.  Shh, it’s ok. Dr. Beauchamp warned us that you would be pretty shaky and that it would take a little time to wear off.”

“I can’t even touch her.”

“You will.  The shaking will stop and I’m not going anywhere.” Chris gently slipped his shoes off, trying not to jostle the baby or Kate, and slid all the way onto the bed, still cradling their daughter.  He settled back on the raised bed, his eyes never leaving their daughter’s face.

Kate laid her head on his shoulder and stared at their little Jelly Bean. “So, you’re the one that’s been throwing dance parties in my belly.”

Chris chuckled. “She looks like you.”

“No.  She looks like you.  Look at her nose and her lips….”

“Look at the shape of her eyes.  That’s all you, baby.”

“What did you name her?”

“I haven’t.”

“Oh.  How long was I out?”

“About four hours.”

“Wow.”

He finally tore his eyes away from their baby. “How do you feel?”

“I itch.” Kate rubbed her nose again. “Especially my nose. Carly said that’s a side effect of the morphine.”

Chris chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose. “Other than the itching?”

“Tired, mostly.  I’m starting to feel sore.”

“We should call the nurse, then.”

“No.  I’m ok for right now.  I just want it to be the three of us for now.”

“Do you want to hold her?”

Kate held her hands up, but they were still trembling slightly. “I do, but I’m still shaking.  I don’t trust myself yet.”

“It’s ok.”

There was a knock on the door and then Doctor Beauchamp walked in to find Kate and Chris smiling at their tiny baby. “Glad to see you’re awake, Kate.” She said, starting to do an examination. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.  Sore. Itchy.”

“I can imagine.”

“What happened to me?” Doctor Beauchamp gave her a rundown of everything that had happened. “I died?”

“No.  Your heart didn’t stop, but it came very, very close to it.  You’re going to be hanging out here for a couple more days so we can monitor you.”

“What about our daughter?”

“She’s perfect.  We only had her in the NICU for a short time as a precaution since she was, technically, premature.  She was six pounds, four ounces and twenty inches long.  Her APGAR was nine.”

Kate nodded. “When can I hold her?”

“You could hold her now, but I understand if you’re worried about the shaking.  That should go away in the next couple of hours.  I’ll get the nurses to bring you in some antihistamines to combat the reaction to the morphine.”

“That would be great.”

“Whenever you need more, just hit this button here.  I’ll be back in a little while to check on you again.” Doctor Beauchamp walked to the door. “Should I tell your families to come back in?”

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Kate woke up and realized it had been the baby that had woken her.  Chris was asleep in the bed next to her and she decided not to wake him.  Getting slowly out of bed, she walked around to the bassinette on his side and lifted their daughter into her arms.  She walked into the nursery and sat down in the glider.

It had been five weeks since she’d been released to come home. Chris had been amazing taking care of her and the baby.  She had pretty much lived upstairs for the first two and a half weeks while she recuperated.  She had finally ventured out into the world for her first check up around three weeks. The doctor wanted her back again next week.  Lisa and Helena had also gone home.  It was just Chris and Kate there now.

Kate looked down at her beautiful little girl.  Madison Amanda Evans had been a dream.  She was the complete center of her parents’ world. Her grandparents were enamored with her. Her aunts and uncles had fallen in love with her instantly.  She looked like a perfect mix of Chris and Kate.  

Danielle had come over and she and Kate had done a newborn shoot. Chris had taken one of the photos of him and Kate sitting on the floor of the nursery in front of the crib, her holding Madison and the two of them staring adoringly at her, with Gally and Dodger on either side of them, and posted it as an announcement on Twitter that their little Jelly Bean had arrived.  The photo had blown up.  Kate, who didn’t post on Twitter but once in a blue moon, had gained almost a million followers overnight thanks to Chris tagging her in it.  The media outlets had been showing it almost non-stop.  Chris and Kate were even discussing selling some of the photos to a magazine for his charity, Christopher’s Haven.  

Madison began to get fussy, so Kate helped her to latch on and the two of them just stared at each other. “How are you so perfect?” She ran a finger down her daughter’s little cheek.  After a few minutes, Madison began to drift of, but she was fighting it. “You’re going to make me do it, aren’t you?” Kate smiled and began to softly sing “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes” to her.  She watched as Madison closed her eyes and finally fell asleep, still suckling.  Feeling eyes on her, she looked up to see Chris standing in the doorway watching her. “Creeper.”

“Sorry.” Chris smiled. “You weren’t in bed and Maddie was missing. I heard you singing and couldn’t resist.”

Kate noticed the cell phone in his hand. “Did you take a picture?”

“I may have.” He looked guilty as hell.

“Did you take a video?”

“I may have done that as well.”

“Just don’t post it.”

“They’re strictly for me.” He walked over and knelt down watching Madison as Kate detached her gently and moved her to lay on her chest.  She let out a little burp in her sleep and her parents chuckled.  Chris took another picture, a close up of Madison’s face against her mother’s porcelain skin.

“Coulda sworn I’m the photographer in this house.”

“You’re a little busy.  Besides, your phone and camera are filled with pictures of me and Maddie.”

“True.” Kate chuckled as she stood up.  They walked back into their room and laid Madison back down in her bassinette.

As they laid in bed, facing each other, Chris reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. “I love you, Kat.”

She smiled and placed her hand on his bearded cheek. “I love you, too, Chris.”

“Let’s get married in October.”

“That’s two months away!”

“We can do it!”

“We have a newborn.  I have a job to get back to next month.”

“It doesn’t need to be anything big.  We can do it in the backyard of Ma’s house over the weekend. Just us and our families.”

“Chris….”

“Kate, I want to marry you.”

“I want to marry you, too.”

“So, marry me in two months!”

“Why two months?”

“Because October 24th is our one-year anniversary and I want to marry you before then.”

“You’ve already started planning this in your head, haven’t you?”

“October 22nd.  It’s a Saturday.”

“There’s so much to do!  Even for a little wedding.”

“We can do it.”

“I think you’re sleep deprived.”

“That’s beside the point.” She laughed. “Marry me, Kat?”

“I’ve already said yes to that question.”

“Marry me on October 22nd, Kat?”

She stared at him in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the city below. “Fine.  Ok. I’ll marry you on October 22nd.”

Chris pulled her to him tightly, kissing her fiercely.

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Kate looked at herself in the mirror as Danielle took pictures. She was standing there in an ivory lace, tea-length wedding dress that had quarter-length lace sleeves and a boat-neckline.  Her dark blonde hair was loose around her shoulders in her natural waves.  She was wearing pink ballet flats and her grandmother’s string of pearls that her mother had brought up to Boston for the wedding.  Madison was being held by Lisa and she was wearing a light pink dress with a poofy skirt littered with little silver polka dots.  There was a delicate flower at the high waistband and a matching flower on her hairband.  At three months old she looked so much like her father, it was ridiculous.  She was waving her arms and making noises at her mother.

Kate laughed and lifted her up. “Hey my gorgeous little Jelly Bean. Are you ready to go see daddy?”

“Daddy is ready to see you guys.” Lisa said.

Helena and Bill walked into the room. “You couldn’t have picked a more perfect day to get married.” Bill said. “It’s beautiful outside.”

“Is Killian here?” Kate asked.

“They just got here.” Helena said, playing with her granddaughter.

“Then it’s time to get this show on the road.”

“I’ll see you out there.” Helena patted her daughter’s cheek and headed out to the backyard.

Lisa kissed Kate’s cheek. “Welcome to the family, Katie.  I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Lisa.”

Lisa walked out and Bill turned to Kate. “You ready, Katie?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Kate kissed Madison’s cheek and then looped her free arm through Bill’s arm.

The backyard had been strung with fairy lights everywhere and they were beginning to glow in the early twilight.  There were three tables set up in the yard.  One round one had a little two-tiered simple white cake on it with plates and champagne glasses.  Then there were two long tables.  One with a buffet of Chris and Kate’s favorite foods and the other for the guests to sit at and eat.  Scott had rented a sound system and music was playing from his iPhone.

Chris’ father, Bob, and Scott were standing with Chris and the Massachusetts justice of the peace in the middle of the yard.  Chris was wearing a dark blue suit with a black button up shirt and a silver tie.  April and Amy were standing opposite them in dark blue, long-sleeved, empire waist, lace dresses.  Lisa, Carly, and Shanna were standing with Helena, Killian, and Maura.  Hailey was walking around in front of Chris dropping flower petals everywhere.  Ethan, Miles, and tiny Stella were all playing a little way away.  They had no interest in the romantic goings-on happening with the adults.

Kate walked up to Chris and he grinned at her and Madison. “Hi.”

“You look beautiful.” Chris said. “You both do.” He kissed Madison’s cheek and she gurgled happily at him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, today we have gathered together to celebrate the marriage of Christopher Robert Evans and Kathleen Amelia Allen.” The justice of the peace started the ceremony, but Chris and Kate weren’t paying attention.  They were too enamored in each other and their little girl.  It wasn’t until Chris heard his name again that they started paying attention. “Chris, will you take Kate, to be your lawful wedded wife?  Will you love, comfort, honor and protect her; forsaking all others to be faithful to her until death do you apart?”

“I forever and always do.” Chris said with a huge smile on his face.

“Kate, will you take Chris, to be your lawful wedded husband?  Will you love, comfort, honor and protect him; forsaking all others to be faithful to him until death do you apart?”

Kate smiled back. “I forever and always do.”

“The bride and groom have chosen to recite their own vows. Chris?”

Chris took a deep breath. “Kate, a year ago I was walking down a path with my head down, not paying any attention to the world around me and you stopped me dead in my tracks.”

“By knocking me down into dog shit.” Kate giggled.

“That dog shit was the best thing that ever happened to us.  It set me on a new path that I will never have my head down on again.  I know this hasn’t been the most conventional relationship, but it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced.  I promise you that I will always take care of and cherish our relationship.  I will love you today, tomorrow, and forever.  I promise that I will always be open, honest, and faithful to you.  I love you so much, Kat.”

“I love you, too.” Kate said, wiping his tears away before dabbing at her own.

“Kate?” The Justice said.  

“I have to follow that?  Jeez!” Everyone around them laughed. “Ok…. Wow.  Chris, I first saw you in 2005 when you were in this little movie called Cellular.  I was a sophomore in college and I was having a rough time and this guy on the screen just drew me in.  I didn’t know what it was about him, but I just…. Well, I loved him.  Then a year ago, he walked into my life and he loved me back and he gave me the absolute greatest gift in the world.” Kate kissed their daughter’s head. “Thank you for not taking any of the outs I kept giving you. I would’ve missed out on the greatest love story since my grandparents.  I promise that today, tomorrow, and forever I will love you for better or worse, in sickness and in health.  I will love you and cherish you well beyond my last breath.  I love you, Chris.”

“I love you, too, Kat.”

The justice of the peace had them exchange rings.  Chris had chosen a simple white gold band with a small sapphire on top and he had two bands specially made for Kate.  Her bands were each wrapped with little diamonds and sapphires and they squared around her engagement ring to make them more comfortable to wear together.  His hands shook as he took off her engagement ring and placed her new bands around it.

“Until now Kate and Chris have spent each moment of their lives as separate individuals.  But from this day on, and every day after this day shall be shared and spent as one.  By the power enthroned in me, by the state of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may now kiss your bride.” Helena came and took Madison from Kate and Chris pulled his new wife to him.  Their lips locked in a fiery kiss as everyone applauded them. “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Evans.” The applause got louder as the couple shared another kiss.

The reception went by in a blur.  They danced their first dance to “Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” by Elvis. Kate smushed cake into Chris’ face and he kissed her as he rubbed the cake on her face.  The party went late into the night.  When the newlyweds left in a town car, they went to the Boston Harbor Hotel where Chris had rented an insanely fancy suite that looked out over the water.  Lisa was babysitting Madison for the night so they could have their wedding night to themselves.

Kate leaned back against Chris’ chest in the giant soaker tub. The bathroom light was off and the place was lit by six candles around the room.  There were two champagne glasses sitting on the edge of the tub. They had just spent the last hour and a half consummating their marriage all over the suite before retiring to the large tub to soak their tired muscles.  He rubbed her shoulders gently, trailing kisses up and down her neck. “That feels amazing, Mr. Evans.”

“Not as amazing as you look, Mrs. Evans.” Chris kissed her shoulder. “Are you happy?”

“Insanely.”

“Me too.”

Kate was quiet for a long moment. “I miss Maddie.”

“I do too!”

“Should we call your mom?”

“Maddie will be asleep right now.  We’ll pick her up first thing in the morning.”

“Ok.”

They were quiet for a long time. “If you had told me a year ago that I would be married with a kid now, I would’ve laughed in your face.”

Kate chuckled. “If you had told me a year ago I would be married to YOU with YOUR kid, I would’ve slapped you for talking crazy.” She shifted slightly to look up at him. “I meant it, Chris.  Thank you for never taking any of the outs I kept throwing at you.”

“I wasn’t ever going to let the greatest thing in my life get away. I love you so much, Kat.”

Kate’s lips met his again in a slow passionate kiss. “I love you, too, my Boston boy.”

Tag List

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[mickeylovebot]

THERAPY - fluffy/sad gallavich oneshot

Mickey and Ian had been married for a couple years. They lived together, happily. They took turns making breakfast. They went on dates every couple of weeks. They still fucked all the time, everywhere they could. They were still in love, but now it was comfortable. They weren’t endlessly fighting for one another. They knew they had each other. They knew they could love and rely on each other. They were soulmates, together at last. One night, though...

“Mick. Mickey, wake up.” Ian shook Mickey worriedly. Mickey had been twitching in his sleep, gasping for air.

Finally, Mickey awoke, looking around like he didn’t know where he was.

“It’s okay, Mick. You’re here. I’m here.” Ian tried to reassure him.

Mickey looked into Ian’s eyes and immediately felt a bit better. And then a bit embarrassed. “Fuck.” He complained.

“Are you okay?” Ian laid back down, spooning Mickey and gently rubbing his hand. “That’s your fourth nightmare this week.”

“I’m fine, don’t fuckin’ call it a nightmare.” Mickey said defensively.

“Mickey–”

“Can’t hear you. I’m going back to sleep.” And that was that. But Mickey kept his eyes open, and snuggled back into Ian, silently fearing falling back asleep.

Ian kept his eyes open too, staring at the back of Mickey’s neck, counting his neckhairs, knowing that Mickey was going through something Ian couldn’t fix.

Ian woke up earlier than Mickey for work. On his way out, he kissed a half-asleep Mickey on the cheek and they exchanged “I-love-you”s before the day. Ian worked as an EMT. Mickey worked as security in another south side store. But Mickey was off that day.

“Hey Mick, I’ve got a funny story ab–” Ian said loudly once he’d gotten home. It was usual for them to share what happened during their days. They shared everything. “Mick?”

But he couldn’t see Mickey. He checked every room frantically, finally making his way to the bedroom, where Mickey was curled up in the corner, shaking and sweating, staring blankly at the floor. “Mick.” Ian ran over and kneeled down next to Mickey. “Mickey, baby, what’s wrong?”

Mickey didn’t respond, didn’t even blink. Ian looked around for anything, a broken window, a mark, anything, and finally saw Mickey’s tattooed knuckles strained because he was holding his phone so tightly. Ian managed to loosen Mickey’s grip, which Mickey was still unresponsive to.

Ian saw that the phone was open to the middle of an article, where a teenage boy was talking about how his father abused him in detail. Ian started tearing up, realizing what Mickey might be going through.

“Mickey, can you look at me?” Ian asked Mickey quietly. He knew what it was like. He’d seen it a million times as an EMT. And he knew that’s how he’d looked whenever he was having a panic attack, whenever he was having a flashback, whenever his meds had gone out of balance. Mickey blinked. “Mickey, please. Look at me.”

Mickey finally, slowly, looked up at Ian. Ian had never seen him so scared.

“You’re safe.” Ian said. “You’re safe here. Nobody will hurt you here. He’s not here.”

Mickey kept staring at Ian. Tears were starting to well up in his eyes as well.

“C’mon, let’s get you up, get you to the couch.” Ian took Mickey’s hand and arm and tried to help him up. Mickey was almost burdening Ian with his entire weight. He could barely stand. But they made it to the couch, where Ian sat beside him, facing him, holding him. Tears were pouring out of Mickey’s eyes now.

“It’s okay. It will all be okay, Mick. You’re safe.” Ian tried to soothe him, like he soothed his patients, like he’d been soothed before. Eventually, it worked. Mickey fell asleep, to which Ian laid him down gently and put a blanket over him. Ian couldn’t bear to leave Mickey like that and fell asleep too, sitting up, holding his hand. When he woke up, Mickey wasn’t there. He went searching again and found him lying on their bed, staring at an opened beer bottle on the side table.

Over the years, Mickey opened up about a lot of things. He was getting more and more in touch with his feelings, which was miraculous, really. But Ian knew that something this deep would be hard to get out of him. So all he did was lie down and spook Mickey again, silently, and to his surprise, Mickey spoke up.

“I’ve stabbed people,” He began, “I’ve been shot. I own like a million guns. I’m the shortest guy I know and I still have a fucking great right hook. I have guys that will listen to anything I ask. I’ve tried to kill people, a few times. And yet somehow, somehow...” His voice cracked a bit. He couldn’t say the rest, but Ian understood.

“Mick,” Ian almost laughed at the ridiculousness, “You’re still tough. You’re still the guy who will throw a punch at anybody for anything, hell, half the time you don’t even need a reason. You’re still the guy who people should be afraid of. You’re still the guy who’s endlessly sarcastic and sometimes cold. You’re still the toughest guy I know. And... you’re still the guy I fell in love with. And if I wasn’t so in love with you I think I’d be scared of you too.” He whispered that last part. Mickey gave a somewhat sad chuckle. “But he’s your dad, Mick. The piece of shit who raised you, if you can even use that word. Of course it was gonna bother you eventually...”

Mickey said nothing, for a moment, and turned around to face Ian. He had that same look in his eye that he had for years. The look that said the blood pumped in his veins for the stupid redhead in front of him. He still looked sad, worried, angry, but the love he felt for Ian got through all of that. He gently cupped Ian’s cheek and looked him right in the eyes. “But why now?” He said quietly. “Why is that bastard giving me nightmares now? I didn’t even have fucking nightmares when I was nine years old.”

“Well,” Ian pulled Mickey closer, “You’re relatively safe now. You’re not constantly thinking about the next drug deal, the next shooting, the next time you have to beat a guy for mistreating one of your prostututes. And you never dealt with it... so, your mind decided to deal with it now.”

“I don’t want him to have power over me like this. Not anymore.” Mickey said with a clenched jaw.

“I know, baby, I know.” Ian kissed him softly and then Mickey laid his head on Ian’s chest.

He wrapped his legs around Ian’s and listened to his slow heartbeat. “What do I do now?”

Ian knew what to do next. But he figured he’d leave it for the morning. He’d let Mickey just rest. He’d put on Mickey’s favourite show and make his favourite food for dinner. And in the morning...

Ian quickly ended his call when Mickey came to the kitchen for breakfast.

Mickey raised his eyebrows. “Who was that?”

Ian hoped he’d have more time to think of how to tell him. “Um... a therapist.” He said honestly.

“Oh, why, your meds out of whack again?” He asked casually as he put a waffle on his plate.

“For you, Mick.” Ian admitted quietly. Mickey’s mouth hung open.

“No. I’m not goin’ to a shrink.” He said sternly.

“You need somebody who can help you, Mickey.” Ian pleaded.

Mickey shook his head. “You help me. I don’t need a doctor. I’m not bipolar, or depressed, or anything. It’s just a fuckin’ nightmare.”

“I’m not... I can’t be there all the time. I can’t make your nightmares go away. But a therapist could help you deal with it yourself. A therapist could really make it all go away for you.”

Mickey stared right at him, speechless. “I said no.” And Mickey went for his jacket.

“Mick–” Ian tried to stop him, to sit him down, to talk about it.

“I’m goin’ for a walk before work.” Was all Mickey said. He looked at Ian once more. He looked like he knew, deep down, that maybe Ian was right. And then he quickly kissed him on the lips, said “I love you.” And left.

The day trudged on slowly for the both of them. Ian was sick with worry about Mickey. Mickey was sick with guilt about leaving Ian in the dark like that. They both waited impatiently for the end of the day, where they could talk. Ian came home first, and was pacing around the apartment, trying to find something to do, something to clean, to keep his anxious mind off of it until Mickey got home.

And when Mickey finally got home, Ian shamelessly rushed to the door and took Mickey by surprise with a kiss.

Mickey grinned into the kiss and pulled away. “What was that for?”

“I was worried.” Ian said breathlessly.

Mickey rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to–”

“I do.” Ian interrupted. “You’re one of the very few people I actually care about. I do need to fucking worry.”

And Mickey, seeing the distress Ian was under, let go of his emotionless pose. “I’m sorry.” He said with eyes that were just as sorry.

“Can we talk about it? Therapy?” Ian asked.

“Fine. But just talking.” Mickey was already on the defence. But he would listen. For Ian’s sake.

Ian nodded, “Okay, come in, I made tea.” He didn’t admit that he made tea because he needed something to distract himself with.

“Tea?” Mickey muttered to himself.

Ian set the tea down on the coffee table. From the few times Mickey had tea, he remembered: one sugar. And black for himself.

Mickey sipped his tea and watched Ian awkwardly. Neither of them knew where to start.

“I need you to be okay.” Ian blurted out.

“I’ll be okay.” Mickey tried to reassure him. But Ian knew that nobody would be okay after what Mickey’s gone through.

“Why don’t you want to go?” Ian asked genuinely but still with anxiety.

“I dunno...” It was the truth, he wasn’t sure. “I don’t want anybody picking inside my head.” Anybody but you, he thought.

“What if I go too?” Ian asked, out of nowhere.

“What? With me?” Mickey asked in a way that already said no.

“No. On my own, just... I’ll tell them things too. About Frank, maybe. About never having a real parent. About Monica... I’ve been through, uh, half the shit you’ve been through but I probably need it too.”

Flashes of moments flew by where Mickey had to be the protector, the comforter, the one who held Ian when he cried, when everything came back up. He remembered how his chest tightened and how he’d do anything for Ian never to feel that way again.

“I don’t want to either,” Ian continued, “I don’t like bringing that shit up. But if you will, I will.”

“You’ll really talk to them? About everything? A stranger?”

Ian nodded quickly. “If it means you’ll do the same.”

“Fuck,” And Mickey’s wall had been broken down. “I’ll try it. I guess.”

Ian looked both surprised and ecstatic. He immediately pulled Mickey into a tight hug. Mickey pretended to be annoyed.

“Thank you, thank you.” Ian said quietly, sincerely.

“I said I’ll try it.” Mickey pointed out as Ian pulled away from the hug.

Ian couldn’t help but kiss Mickey, holding the back of his neck gently. He kissed Mickey’s cheek, jaw, neck.

“If this is the gift I get for going to therapy maybe I’ll go quite a bit,” Mickey joked.

“Shut up.” Ian smiled. They looked at each other so genuinely, so adoringly. “I love you.” Ian said, as if it was coming out of his mouth before he knew it, as if he was admitting it for the first time.

“I love you too.”

And just like that, Mickey was taking another step in his life, for Ian, like everything was, always for Ian.

Ian sat thankful, comfortable, and mindlessly kissed the silver band on Mickey’s ring finger. And Mickey noticed, and felt warm inside. And they were okay, together.

[omegas-spaghettios]

Dear A,

I do my best to not be a vindictive person. I have had a history of being vindictive to multiple people, and it's never ended well for anybody involved. But there are a lot of things you do that hurt me, even though you can't know why. That's why I'm writing here, to get my words out there without harming you.

I know you moved here within the last couple years and you are struggling to make friends, and I think you are a genuinely nice person. I've done all I can to talk to you and ask about your interests, and i agonized at Wal-Mart trying to find you the perfect gift. This isn't to guilt you, i happily chose to do all of that. And I believe your company is fun. I wouldn't really search it out much, but when I have it in the group it has mostly been pleasant.

Until recently.

Let me tell you some things I have gone through, A. I have grown up in LDS Utah as a closeted Bisexual. I have been through hell, and I know I have had it easier than a lot of LGBTQ+ people in that religion. Since 8th grade I have consistently had depression and anxiety, clinically diagnosed, with therapy and meds and everything due to living here, the social hatred is incredibly intense. During that time up till now, just finished 11th, I have also had multiple self harm and suicidal stretches. This isn't asking for pity, most kids my age unfortunately have had to go through this. This isn't new.

I started dating a mormon girl 10th grade year. It was good for a long while, but starting 11th year it got bad. She had awful anger management issues, and was incredibly vindictive. Not to mention that she guilted me into supressing my problems so I can help hers. For months I endured passive aggression and my own repression and fights and anger because I truly loved her. But last month I decided enough was enough. I cut it off. I am not of the LDS faith anymore, and that was a major part of the decision as she still is, but that wasn't really why.

Not to mention the hallucinations. For the last year I have had infrequent hallicunations of Wendigo's, i'm sure you know what those are, as well as paranoia. Just yesterday I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression induced psychosis. I took my meds for the first time today for the hallucinations and begin therapy Monday.

The point is, add all of this together with what has been happening in the world and the stress of me being asthmatic when a respiratory disease is running rampant, and i believe you can see why I am struggling. I have turned to our friend group of 7, A, to finally talk to my peers in healthy ways about my struggles and not face my ex's wrath. I'm really struggling and for once I feel like I have a good support network, one I only kind of get at home.

So why am I upset and hurt? Well, a lot things. A, I know you believe in witchcraft and paganism and that creepypastas like Slenderman and Jeff the Killer are real. Personally, I think it's not real in the slightest as it can't be empirically proven, but that isn't why I'm upset in these scenarios. I think your beliefs are a bit ridiculous, but I respect everyone's beliefs. You do you. It is how you have used your beliefs to inadvertently harm me.

I came out to the group as Bisexual. The deal is, 4 of the 6 of you gals all knew already. You didn't. The ones who already knew came out in support, and you were silent. No harm done, really. Felt kind of off, but oh well, I don't really care. You weren't vindictive and haven't been about it. The issue is, you came out as a witch to your parents and gave us the play by play expecting our comfort. The comfort you never afforded me. I still gave it, i remember the hell I went through when I came out as Bi to my parents and you shouldn't go through that alone. But it hurts, knowing it's one sided.

But that isn't all. Your parents wouldn't let you use a dating app, so you came to the group chat and said we needed to find you a boyfriend. That's my my place, find your own damn boyfriend. I am fresh out of an awful relationship and now a single Bisexual. Even if I wanted to think about anyone's relationships much less my own, do you think i would set you up with people I think were interesting? And not try to date them myself? But I was polite and told her the truth: I only talked to that friend group and one other person. A couple of others also respectfully declined to find you one. Then you had the fucking audacity to send in the chat a picture of you scowling and leaving at that. Not an emoji, no words, a picture of your actual face in pure disgust. That's when I got angry. How dare you demand I find you somebody. How dare you be that lazy and demand me, in my fucking disaster state, to do it for you.

Well then, let's address the mental issues I have. It isn't your fault, I want you to know. And any one of these instances is excusable, but together I don't think it is. I had a full on panic attack sitting two feet away from you and another friend, let's call her E. My paranoia was shooting through the roof, i felt like I was about to be killed and I couldn't breathe. E kept giving me concerned looks and mouthing if I was okay, in which I gave many half hearted thumbs up. She knew it was bullshit, but guess why she didn't say anything? Because you, A, were running off about how Slenderman is stalking you. You even said that paranoia and fear means he is around. Not that you believe that, that it is FACT. It was incredibly dehumanizing of you to tell me what I was experiencing in that exact moment was because some 2000's fictional monster was around. I didn't say anything, granted because I physically couldn't, but it's not your fault. But everyone I have ever met will tell you I wear my heart on my sleeve. So how you could sit next to me, who was silent and fighting tears and quietly trying to gasp for air and was shaking and was being quiet as to not bother you (thanks, ex), you ignored me. Not only that, you dehumanized the very reaction I was having. That really hurt, A. Unintentional or not, it hurt.

Not to mention when I made a meme of my full name on Kermit jumping off a cliff to commit suicide, I made that very clear in the meme. I posted it in the group chat. I know that is not a good way to reach out, but I haven't reached out to anyone in months, so it's better than I have in a long time. A, you just said "yeah" and moved on to some asinine topic. Others tried to bring it up but you steamrolled overthem with your rocks or Jeff the Killer or something. A very clear cry on my behalf for help, and you said "yeah". Thank you.

Then this morning. Last night I woke up around 1 AM absolutely panicked. Not able to breath, shaking, world spinning, sweats, everything. Like I was dropped right in the middle of my worst panic attack ever. I was sure SOMETHING was about to kill me. It took hours to feel safe, and i haven't slept since 1 AM. I posted in the chat that I couldn't sleep and needed to talk to somebody. It was late, but I needed somebody. I was vague, but I don't want to drop that i am psychotic in the middle of a group chat. Then you woke up around 9 and said "oh, I can't sleep most nights so I get your pain. I felt really sick last night and threw up." I don't mean to diminish your experiences, A. I don't know how hard it is for you. But I went through hell last night without any of my friends in the chat, I eventually got ahold of my sister. Then you have the audacity to come to me and say "I get it. I was ill last night, so I get it." Again, it could have been miserable for you. But you just ignored my cries for help AGAIN, and you tossed my pain out of view so you could go on about yourself AGAIN.

I've done so much to make you feel welcome. I wouldn't choose you as a friend, but you are in the group and as such have worked to make you feel like part of it. But you don't care about me. At least, it doesn't seem like you do. I have made it very clear multiple times that I am not okay (did I mention the time I posted things in that chat about me experiencing hallucinations and you didn't say a damn thing?) and you don't care.

I write this out here because you don't know what I'm going through, so I can't hold it all against you I guess. But with how dismissive you are I don't trust you with it. We will be nothing more than superficial friends, if that. I typed this out, so I'm going to take a deep breath and move on, I'll be civil and jovial with you. But you have hurt me deeply, and thus have lost my trust.

- Bryan

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours AU Part 8  Apart

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Saturday 16:49

Lucas was sitting on the couch, his eyes were still red because of all the crying. He just couldn’t stop thinking of Eliott, though, wearing the hoodie he left there wasn’t really helping about that either. It still smelled like him and Lucas just needed that comfort. The piece of clothing was way too big for him, but that was the reason why it was just nice to wear it. It was like a warm hug that had the smell of Eliott’s cologne. 

His mind was filled with memories of his boyfriend... well, probably ex-boyfriend by now. It was painful to even think that little “ex” to it. He didn’t wanted to let him go, he wanted to believe that their relationship was real. It couldn’t just be Eliott’s obsession. 

He looked at the coffee table, it was a big mess, just like Eliott. His laptop was in the middle, surrounded by sketchbooks, brushes, paint tubes, pencils, special pens and everything art related. Then there was the coffee mug he got for Eliott, it was light grey with a cute raccoon on it that was hugging a heart. His boyfriend was out of this world when he came home from work with the gift. Right after that he made a drawing for Lucas, just to thank him the gift. It was a two piece actually. On the first drawing there was a sad hedgehog, sitting on a couch, but the other one was a raccoon and a hedgehog sitting on the couch together, surrounded by cute little hearts. Lucas framed the second drawing and put it on the top of the piano. It was still there, burning holes into Lucas, but he couldn’t make himself to look at it. 

He instead got up, walking to the kitchen like a zombie, making himself a coffee and slowly drinking it, while avoiding to look at the living room. So many memories were in the air. They spent so much time here together, it was painful not having Eliott by his side. Hearing his laugh, seeing his charming smile, feeling his soft touches, kissing his lips. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks before Lucas even noticed it, dropping from his chin into the mug in his hand. His body was shaking, he barely could see and grabbed the kitchen counter with his free hand, trying not to spill the coffee that was in his other. He was whispering Eliott’s name over and over and over. He wanted it to just fade away, but it didn’t. His heart kept hurting more and more. 

Sunday 15:23

Eliott was laying in bed, under the blanket from head to toe. His eyes were hurting from all the crying, his lungs were still burning, making his harder to breathe. There were paperbags next to the bed on the nightstand, also a glass of water, some pills he refused to take and a sandwich from this morning. He couldn’t eat, since he felt like his stomach is smaller than a walnut. 

Flashes of Lucas tried to crawl their way up in his brain, he struggled to hold them back, but they kept coming. It was just painful. He hurt the only person he loved more than anything. Yes, he loved Lucas for sure. That week they spent together was just everything to him. 

They were sitting in Lucas’ living room, cuddling on the couch, well Lucas was leaning on Eliott tiredly, he just came home from work an hour ago. All he wanted is to sleep and be next to his boyfriend, but Eliott had to finish a project that was due to tomorrow noon. He was holding a digital drawing tablet, he barely used it, since he liked to draw on paper, but this thing had to made digitally. He focused on the lines, the small details, but being this close to Lucas, smelling him, feeling the warmth of his body was kinda distracting. 

He kept looking over to see his face. His eyes were closed, he was breathing slowly, probably was sleeping already. one of his hands were grabbing Eliott’s hoodie, while the other rested on Lucas’ stomach. He looked adorable, as he opened his mouth just a little. Eliott wanted to kiss him so badly, but he needed to work. 

He took a deep breath, giving a kiss on Lucas’ forehead and then going back to his project. He was working for hours, not noticing how the time was passing. He jerked his head to his side when he felt Lucas moving, letting out a yawn, stretching his body. It required a lot of strength from Eliott to not jump on this beautiful boy and kiss him until one of them passes out. A smile appeared on his face, his eyes were basically shooting hearts at his boyfriend.

Lucas slowly opened his eyes, looking at Eliott under his long, beautiful eyelashes. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms lazily around his boyfriend’s neck, which made Eliott’s heart skip a beat. He put down his tablet on the coffee table, grabbing Lucas’ waist. 

“You slept well?” he asked softly, leaning forward a little. Lucas did the same until their foreheads touched, looking into each others eyes. 

“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble.” he mumbled with a lazy smile. 

“Not at all... well, it was hard to focus on work with you next to me, but I managed to finish the project.” he said softly, putting a hand on Lucas’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “I will do the colouring tomorrow morning.” 

“Wise decision, cause right now your hands will be occupied.” Lucas said with a playful smirk, winking at his handsome boyfriend. Eliott chuckled, pushing Lucas down on the couch, leaning above him.

“Oh really?” he asked, leaning so close their nose touched. He could feel Lucas’ breath on his face, his big, blue eyes were filled with desire and passion. He was so lost in this boy.

“Yes, of course.” Lucas mumbled, sliding his fingers into Eliott’s messy hair. “Your hands are going to be busy touching me.” he said, pulling Eliott’s head down for a slow, passionate kiss. 

Eliott shook his head, he wanted to scream, but his throat was so dry, it was basically the desert itself. He should be drinking some water, but he just couldn’t move from under the blanket, it was his safe place where he could still remember Lucas and imagine that they are still together. 

Monday 17:46

Lucas came home from work, he barely had the strength to leave the house, but he had to. Money isn’t coming from itself. Although he called in sick for the orchestra practices for this week. He haven’t touched his piano since friday, and he didn’t even wanted to. Everytime he just looked at the instrument, he remembered how Eliott looked at him when he played, how he was sitting next to him on the bench, or drawing on the couch, giggling. 

He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to his room, falling on the bed like a bag of potatoes. He felt so empty inside, like someone ripped out his soul. He was thinking about Eliott all the time, he wanted to reach out, text him, but he wasn’t even sure if he would check his phone or answer him. And he also didn’t know what to say. He didn’t care about Eliott’s illness, that doesn’t make him less of a person. But he also remembered how he couldn’t do shit for his mom, even when he tried to and it made him feel bad. He wanted to do something for Eliott, he wanted to give everything into this, because for him Eliott meant everything. 

He stared at his phone for an hour, fingers dancing over the screen, but couldn’t type anything. He opened the chat between him and Eliott. They weren’t talking much in texts, since they were mostly together, but when Lucas was working or at the practice, they kept texting each other. 

To Eliott I’m almost done, can’t wait to get home to you

From Eliott Want me to prepare dinner? ;P 

To Eliott GOD no! I am planning to stay alive for more than just 19 years, thank you very much

From Eliott You are seriously hurting my feelings right now, Lucas

To Eliott I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to be honest with you

Lucas stopped reading at this part and just threw his phone to the other side of the bed. Honest. Lucas still didn’t understand why Eliott couldn’t talk to him about his illness. He would have understand it. He gave no reason for his boyfriend to doubt in his feelings, right? He was always open and showing his love towards him. 

He turned around, facing the ceiling now, trying to push back the memories he shared with Eliott. Both of them seemed happy during that week, He just couldn’t understand how everything went shit so quickly. 

He sat up, pulling his laptop on his lap, opening google. He searched for information about mental illnesses. He was aware that Eliott had a panic attack at the pub, but he didn’t know what kind of illness he had exactly. The websites mostly said anxiety, because he paniced in a crowded place. He tried to read up on things, putting pieces together, trying to understand the situation more. He wanted to learn how to approarch people like that before actually reaching out to Eliott, because he WILL reach out. 

Wednesday 13:12

Eliott was sitting on the couch, he was at Lucille’s place still, her apartment was much more clean and organized than his. He actually didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t go home. If he goes home he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going to the flat next door. He can’t meet Lucas, not after what he did to him. He deserved better than a sick boyfriend. 

He slowly drank his coffee, chewing on the sandwiches Lucille made this morning for him. Sometimes he wasn’t hungry at all, sometimes he had the sudden urge to eat. He got pale, dark circles around his eyes, his veins popping out on his arm. He was slowly feeling better day by day, but it was a long time ago since he had such a bad period. Lucille convinced him that he had to take his meds in order to get well. She wasn’t lying, Eliott knew that, but he just hated the fact that he had to live on pills forever, because his illness won’t be going away. 

When he finished eating and drinking his coffee, he walked to the kitchen, putting the mug and the plate in the sink. He then noticed his phone on the counter. He haven’t seen it since he lost it on friday. Lucille probably found it when she came to take Eliott home. The screen protector had a crack right in the middle, but otherwise it looked fine. He grabbed it, but it was out of battery. Lucille probably didn’t take the effort to charge it since friday.

He walked to the bedroom, luckily Lucille had the same phone type as him, so he grabbed her charger and sat in the armchair that was close to the plug on the wall. putting his phone on charge now. It took some time until he could turn it on.

He unlocked it, looking through his messages and his heart skipped a beat when he saw that he got texts from Lucas. He quickly opened them and felt guilt, because they were from yesterday. Lucas probably thinks that Eliott didn’t even care to check the messages he sent. 

From Lucas I wasn’t sure what to say, I’m not even sure what happened on friday. I had a lot of time to think, and you can be sure that you were the only thing in my mind. I was going crazy... The way I feel with you is something I never felt before. You made me happy with such little things. I just can’t put my feelings into words, because it’s impossible. There are no words for how I feel for you. I am not gonna lie, you scared me on friday, but I am not scared of your illness, I was scared that you are not okay, that you were hurt. Then Lucille came and shit went down. I left, because I felt like I couldn’t help you, I’m not sure that you would be in the right hands with me, but I really wanna take the risk Just text me if you made a decision.

Eliott couldn’t hold back his tears now, they were dripping down from his jaw to the cracked screen. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see properly, so he had to wait with the answer. He wanted to see Lucas, hug him, kiss him, tell him that he wanna do this too. 

To Lucas Be there in 20 minutes

He got up, putting his phone on the armchair, letting it to charge a bit more and started to get himself ready. He couldn’t meet Lucas looking like a 100 year old vampire. 

________________________________________________________________

Writers note: I bet ya didn’t see this coming, huh? I just got an inspiration and some free time, so I wrote this chapter. Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment, either here or in my inbox! Love y’all!

[chromecutie]

Not a Ghost - part 5

A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.

Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvel-forever-17 @rovvboat (also @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ and @master-sass-blast ​). Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.

-------------------------------------

When they crawled into bed that night, Rhonda noticed her pillow smelled like someone else. She couldn’t bring herself to ask yet, but she had to know about the woman Piotr was seeing. That had to wait. The most important thing at the moment was feeling her husband’s arms around her. One powerful arm circled her waist, every bit as protective as she remembered. The bed was comfortable, she was warm enough, and moonlight fell in a white pool on the bedroom floor.

The next morning found Rhonda spending hours in Hank McCoy’s lab, undergoing a full physical exam. She was diagnosed with a few nutrient deficiencies, which were expected to resolve on their own as she resumed eating normal food. She also had an infection that was treatable and not contagious. “Not big on human rights, were they?” McCoy asked as he drew blood for additional tests.

Rhonda rolled her eyes, “Strictly speaking, the staff didn’t consider us humans, so…”

McCoy hemmed and hawed as he took notes. Finally, his expression softened. “You’ve been sorely missed, Rhonda,” he said as he laid a hand over hers. “Your husband hardly spoke to anyone for nearly two months after the funeral.”

She asked, “You all really thought I was dead? Enough to have a funeral?”

At a loss for anything else to do, McCoy slowly shook his head. “When Charles couldn’t find you with Cerebro, we didn’t know what else to do, what else to think. For what it's worth, no one wanted to believe you were dead.”

After a moment, he regained some of his more professional demeanor as he resumed his notetaking, eyeing her tattoos. “I'm aware of general...adversity...that you might have faced in prison. I recommend you undergo a psych exam as well.” He looked at the stump on her right hand for at least the third time and asked, “Have you talked to Charles?”

“Not yet,” she answered with a tight throat, pulling her hand away.

McCoy smiled gently, “I'm sure he would like to see you.”

Rhonda's hands flitted over her arms, nervously picking at her skin. Her voice dropped to just above a whisper, “We have doctor-patient confidentiality, right?”

“Of course,” he folded his hands to listen intently.

“Let's just say I,” she passed a hand over her face, “I'm not X-Men material anymore.” She tried to remember to breathe, but anxiety had her ribcage in a vice. “And even if I was, I’m not sure I want to rejoin.” She dared to glance at McCoy's face.

He gave her that kind smile again, “We keep letting Wolverine come and go, and even Deadpool was a trainee - briefly. I can’t imagine you’ve done anything worse than either of them.” McCoy chuckled despite himself, “But I’m sure if you prefer not to resume your duties, it won’t be a problem. Talk to Charles.”

They made arrangements to get medication for her, and agreed on a follow up appointment. Rhonda dressed again, and as she turned to leave, hesitated. “Why do you think I can’t...can’t use it anymore?”

McCoy frowned, thinking. Rhonda had shown him how she could barely show lightning on her skin, let alone send electrical charges shooting from her body. He searched his cabinets and pulled out a light bulb. “Hold this and light it?”

Rhonda gave him a withering glare, but held it anyway. She gently held the metal fitting that screws into a socket, and focused all her intent on it. A few small sparks flew from her knuckles, and the bulb flickered, but it wouldn’t stay lit. She wilted, sighing in defeat, and gave the bulb back to Dr. McCoy.

“And you said you had been restrained from your ability for six years.”

Rhonda nodded.

“Hm,” he adjusted his glasses. “Without knowing more about how the collars work, my first guess is a form of atrophy.” He held his friend’s hands and rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles. “Like if someone immobilized your arm for a long time and then you tried to do some heavy lifting - you just couldn’t.”

“Yeah, but Hank! A light bulb is like lifting a pencil!” she huffed.

He raised his brows, “And some people can lose that ability too.” He let her hands go in favor of folding his arms. He asked, “Do you feel pain when you try to use it?”

“Oh yeah,” she scoffed, “like my nerves are on fire.”

“Then it sounds like it could be atrophy. Give it a week, practice as much as you can, but be gentle with yourself.” He passed her a couple sample packets of sedatives. “The rest of your meds should be here in a day or two, and I’d like to see you back in here when they come in.” His mouth worked, like he wanted to say more. Adjusting his glasses again, he pulled her into a bear hug. “It’s so good to have you home.”

[whistlemist]

Tiny Tim Missing

Bruce walked into the cave carrying a small boy in his arms. The tiny kid was wrapped up in his cape looking like he was over the moon. The big baby blue eyes were glued to Batman’s face as little hands kept touching his cheeks and chin as if trying to make sure they were real.

Damian was close behind not looking pleased with whatever happened. The scowl was clear he was in bad mood. He walked by everyone without even Acknowledge that they were there. Both the older two had been using the bat computer to hunt down a lead when they heard them come back.

Dick tensed up seeing the kid. “Who’s the kid?”

“Another one? Isn’t that one a little on the young side?” Jason said walking over to look at the kid. He frowned looking him over. “Wait- is that Tim?!”

“Timmy?!” Dick came over to look, the boy looked at them for a split second before going back to touching Batman’s face. “Oh my god, what happened?!”

“Dick, we’re right here. Don’t shout,” Pushing the cowl back he sighed as little hands started to touch his forehead and ears. “Tim got hit by a spell.”

“I’m surprised that Tim didn’t dodge it,” Jason crossed his arms.

“Damian pushed him in the way of the spell, which is why Robin is benched for a while.” Bruce tried to hand Tim over to Dick but the boy latched onto him, little hands grabbing onto his hair. “Hey, easy, Tim… I need to go get changed alright?”

“He has no memories?” Dick asked trying to slowly take his little brother. He was a bit excited to be able to hold a kid version of Tim. “Come on, Timmy, do you want a snack? Some juice?”

“You’re going to steal Damian’s snacks and juice? That’s not gonna go over well.” Jason frowned.

“They're my snacks and  juice.”

“...” Jason looked at Dick for a long time “Your such a f*cking child.”

“Not in front of Tim!” Dick gasped covering the boy’s ears. “Jason, how cold you?!”

“Both you stop,” Bruce grunted as he managed to remove Tim’s hands from his hair before handing the boy over to Dick. “Tim’s about five right now, keep an eye on him, don’t lose him, no cussing, feed him until I can figure out how to fix this.”

“You got it, boss.”

-- “Tim where are you!? COME OUT PLEASE!”

“I can’t believe you lost him!” Jason snapped at him throwing a water bottle even though he knew it would do nothing. “I left you alone for two minutes!”

“I was answering a call! I didn’t think that Tim would wander off!” Dick pointed to the old high chair they had drug out of the attic and had put their brother in, hell, TIm was small enough to fit but the second Dick had turned around the kid had vanished. “Come on, Jay we need to find him!”

They ran out of the kitchen calling Tim's name loudly.

“Timmy?” Dick called looking under a couch. “Tim?! Come out, Tim, please!”

“Come out you brat!” Jason yelled opening doors looking around for any sign of the child. He closed one door when they head a thud upstairs. “That doesn't sound good.”  

“Come on, Jay!” Running up the stairs they found a coat rack knocked out, but no Tim. Slowing down Dick looked around trying to figure where he would have gone. Opening a room Dick peeked inside. Walking in the two of them started to look under the bed, in the closed, the bathroom just in case.

They were so into looking for Tim, they hadn’t noticed the small boy wiggled out of the coats before walking off down the hall.

--

Damian was in the middle of his homework when the door slammed open with Todd yelling. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH  HIM DEMON CHILD?!”

“What the hell, Todd?!” Jumping up Damian took out one of his hidden swords. “You want to die again?!”

“Tell me where he is or I’ll shoot your ass, Damian!”

“Try it and I’ll slit your throat.”

“Jason, stop it!” Dick came in getting between the two of them to keep the bloodshed away. “Listen, we lost, Tim. Have you’ve seen him?”

“We?!” Jason snapped. “Your fatass lost him!”  

“Why would I care where Drake is?” Came to the growl as Damian moved back if only not to nick Grayson’s hand by accident. “Why do you not just call his phone?”

“Oh, right,” Dick paused. “You don’t know do you?”

--

“You know I thought he was going to have this sudden big brother urge to just go look and save  his now little brother.”

Jason gave Dick a long side look as he took out a cigarette while looking for his lighter. “Yeah, sure, keep thinking that’s what could have happened. It’s f*cking Damian, Dickhead.”

“Hey, I had hope.” Sighing he looked back at the door where had just kicked them out of before looking back at Jason. “Hey, you better not lite that in here or Alfred would have  your head.”

Jason paused before grumbling. Standing he shook his head. “I’m gonna go to the roof, have a smoke. Call me if you find the kid. I’ll be back.”

--

Meanwhile roaming the halls of Wayne Manor Tim was looking up at the many paintings that lined the halls. They are so high up that when he stood in front of way he would stumble back a little bit straining his head back to see it all.

There was one that Tim found that seemed to fill a whole wall by itself. Old, with small cracks in it with the paint seeming to peel very slightly.  Titling his head Tim looked at it for a minute before hearing a noise off the right of him.  

Looking over with big eyes Tim saw a large hound there. It was taller walking over in almost practiced air of demand. It looked him over nostrils flared as it sniffed his head causing the small boy to giggle as the wet nose took in the scent.

Moving back Ace’s tail wagged a bit before licking the tiny face.

“Puppy,” Tim giggled little hands moving to pet the long snout. “Hi… what's your name?”

The dog gave a gruff before moving to take the sleeve of Tim’s arms starting to leave the human pup back to where the humans where. It was easy enough to move the young master, who for some reason was now so tiny, back towards the most used floors of the Manor.

--

Walking around Cassandra was back early from patrol. SHe had been having some flashbacks. After rounding up some criminals she had gone back to take her anxiety meds. After that walking around to help out when she paused seeing Ace walk passed her with a small boy.

“...?” She turned around watching before following behind them silent wondering when they got other family members. After all, she had learned that sometimes they would just get siblings. This was really young though. Maybe he was lost? That’s why they were in the Manor? “...”

Looking back Tim waved with a bit of shyness. The lady didn’t seem to talk but she followed them eyes trained on the new kid. A few times Tim tried to tug his sleeve away from the dog but the hound just didn’t let go until they got to a living room.

Walking in after his sleeve was a bit wet from the dog’s mouth. Going over to the couch Tim sat on it smiling at Cassandra. “Hi… I’m Tim,”

Eyes going wide for a second Cassandra looked up in thought going through all the possibility of being her brothers, the looks, the face structure, the insane things that often happened to them. Figuring that this was her brother she went over picking him up from under the arms looking at him closely before sitting down hugging him.

“Hi,” Tim repeated the phrase again not sure what else to do since she had talked to him. The hug was nice though and he hugged her back. “What’s your name?”

“Cassandra. Cass.”

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Tim reached for her hand holding it with both of his shaking the hand a little as if he was trying to remember how to shake a hand. “I’m Tim Drake,”

Nodding Cass looked him over making sure that he wasn’t hurt before taking out her phone asking Bruce he knew. Once she got his message she asked if it was alright if she could take Tim out for ice cream. Once given permission She found a large coat to wrap both of them up before leaving the Manor to an ice cream shop that was her favorite.

--

“Tim, please, I’ll give you all the coffee you want!” Dick cried using a megaphone trying a last attempt to get the third Robin to come out of his hiding spot. “Please, Tim, I’ll even let you use my Wing bike just come out!”

“Bruce is gonna kill us!” Jason was pacing back and forth as he ran a hand through his hair. “We’ve looked in every single room in the f*cking house! He must have gotten… Shit! Dick, outside!”

“There’s a river out there!” Dick screamed running outside as the two of them ran towards the back of the yard. It was pretty far off a good three minute run for them at full speed, but there was a small river there that ran through all the wealthy home’s backyard or side yards and it didn’t have a fence. “Hurry up, I’ll go left, you go right.”

“Call me if you see him!”

--

Bruce was enjoying the pictures that Cass was sending him. A fond smile as he got a few of Tim eating an ice cream cone, one of the little boy holding a batman plushy, a few times he noticed that the clothes started to change. From the looks of it Cassandra getting anything Batman related. If he had to guess he was sure Tim was point and Cass was swiping the card.

As Alfred dove them along he told Cassandra to meet him at a small shop nearby where they could get a couple of clothes for Tim since it seemed that his third son was going to be stuck like this for a while so they need to get clothes for him.

After meeting up with them Bruce picked up Tim who hugged him tightly nuzzling up to him. RUbbing the soft black hair Bruce patted his back. “Hey, Tim, have fun?”

“I got a toy, look,” Tim held up the toy Batman before hugging Bruce again whispering. “It’s you….”

“It is. Let keep is a secret, alright?” Bruce rubbed the boy’s head kissing it as well. “Let’s get you some more things than head back home okay?”

“When Mom and Dad?”

“... They're on a trip right now. You can stay with us until they get home, alright?” Bruce said rubbing Tim’s back. “We’ll have a movie night with snacks, alright?”

“With popcorn and snacks?” Tim asked eyes nearly taking over his whole face.

“As much as you want,” Bruce promised before he looked at Cassandra. “How about it, Cass? You want to grab some snacks you like for movie night?”

Nodding Cassandra held up her hand in a twisting motion than drinking. “...?”

“Yeah, we can get some soda too,”  nodded as she smiled giving a thumbs up. “Alright, you two let's go. Cass mind texting the others that were having a movie night?”

She nodded taking out her phone started to send a text to their group chat.

--

Ping!

Dick was having a heart attack still trying to look for Tim he had gotten Ace involved trying to get the dog to follow the scent but the dang hound just gruffed at him before going back to sleep. When the ping went off Dick took out his phone hoping that Jason had found Tim.

Cass: Movie. Snacks. 8pm. Bruce. Home. Soon.

For a long second, DIck was frozen when he turned around rushing to the banister. “Jason?!”

“I got it too!” RUnning out from where he had been looking in the pool room Jason took a break. “It was nice knowing you Dickieboy.”

“You’re not throwing me under the bus!”

“I’m not the one who lost him!”

The two of them started to yell and fight when they saw Bruce cat coming up the drive. They both looked at each other minds racing on what to say. They must have stayed there forever trying to work something in their minds when the door opened and Bruce walked in with bags of snacks, bags of popcorn of all flavors and Cassandra had Tim in her arms!

Dick was in too much in shock and realize that he swore he could feel his legs shaking as they watched them walk up to him. He looked at Jason who had an eye twitch going on and mouth clamped shut before turning back to the others.

“We’re having a movie night. Why don’t you boys go grab Damian and meet us in the movie room?” Bruce said without missing a beat as he continued to walk on. “And bring come bowls and paper napkins.”

Cassandra looked them over eyes reading over their body language before she almost let out an almost laugh. “Apologies. Took. Ice cream.”

“Cass, I almost had a heart attack!” Dick flee to his hands and knees. “Oh god, please don’t do that again.”

“Jason?”

For a long moment, Jason said nothing before slowly turning around walking a big jaggedly towards the liquor cabinet. He had a feeling that he would be needed tonight.

[wand3ringstardust]

Winter break is the first time i’ve fully been able to process what happened with the last guy I dated.. and it led to me just spillin all kinds of tea so enjoy the novella if you choose to read:

I’ve been ruminating over it and I wish I could stop; but let me tell you, hindsight is 20/20. Sure I told some of my friends about the last date that actually made me break up with him, but I realized I didn’t allow myself to process everything and they probably don’t even know everything. 

Since I took the LSAT literally the weekend after I broke up with him, I had to table the feelings as best I could and focus. And then this semester has been so overwhelming I just didn’t sort of “debrief” properly I think.

I finally really thought about it all from the first messages/date through last encounter and I finally see him for who he is. I’m also convinced this guy was actually a narcissist and possibly sociopath and probably would have turned physically abusive at some point. 

Not only did he treat me poorly, but I think the bigger affront is realizing that I don’t really know who he was or is.

First messages and communication:

In the beginning he mirrored certain things that he knew that I valued. For instance, before our first date he really hyped up the religion thing. As someone who’s a fairly devote Christian even I thought he was laying it on a little thick; like “oh you inspired me to read the bible,” or “one prayer can change everything,” but I didn’t say anything because i’m like he’s trying to shoot his shot and i’m gonna let him even though he’s not slick with it at all. It came out later on that he’s not really religious, which I would’ve been okay with but he didn’t tell me that and even took me to freaking Catholic Mass as part of the first date.

He kept books on MLK and Gandhi in his room which he would talk about and made himself seem like this do-gooder/ I care about society and people type person. I remember he told me he wanted to be a lawyer too. He even had this huge LSAT study calendar he showed me on his wall so naturally I believed him, because who goes through such lengths otherwise.

So without the inconsistencies yet revealed to me, you can start to see why someone like me would be attracted to someone like him, but it was all a facade.

He told me he wanted to be an immigration lawyer, which ended up not being true. He slowly shifted to what he really wanted to do the more I got to know him. However, I remember towards the end, maybe a week or two leading up to the break up we were talking about refugees and Trump and he said he really didn’t care what happens to them at all- shocking. So naturally I ask him about the immigration law thing but of course he has a feasible excuse. 

First date:

Now the first date was so nice and he was respectful and generous. The only weird feeling is that there was one point we we’re walking at night and i’m a few steps behind him and I just got this really strange feeling that I didn’t know him at all. I chalked it up to it being the first date and nerves related to that. I didn’t feel sparks but I’ve had an instant crazy connection before and it didn’t turn out too well, so you know I decided to give it time. 

-----

It’s only recently that I started piecing together the inconsistencies and all of the seemingly little red flags that are now glaring that I ignored. My only defense is that the obvious bad behavior started toward the end:

Pushing for commitment:

He pressured me about making it official a week or two before the breakup. When he asked me on the phone about asking me at soon to be his girlfriend I hesitated because I really wasn’t expecting to have that conversation. He said I was sounding sus and then I explained that I wanted to wait and why. I told him I was only seeing him, and that I wanted to be with him but it was too soon. Prior he had told me that he never wants to get married and I tried to get him to rethink, I wasn’t trying to marry him or anything, just to be open to the idea of the institution someday. And whatever I said he used my same words to try to manipulate me into being his girlfriend. He was really laying it on thick saying he knew my story when we really didn’t know enough about each other well enough. He said there was only one of him and once he’s gone that’s it. Only after badgering me and myself holding firm, did he back off and say that we could go at my pace.

It had also been enough time where it would be appropriate to meet my friends but he refused and even said something about not wanting them to influence my decision. That was super weird. 

Date planning:

Early on he cancelled dates the day of. I’m pretty flexible with friends but last minute rescheduling and cancelling is a huge pet peeve of mine with dating because it shows a disregard of my time and the fact that I took time into getting ready sometimes even spending money to do so. The first time I was hanging out with my friend before hand so it wasn’t a day lost and she convinced me to give him a second chance. I thought I was being harsh so I did. But then he did it a couple other times, mind you we only date for about 2 months.

He would often ask for my input on date ideas, but we always ended up doing what he wanted. 

last week: 

Last minute cancelling and physical touch:

So the last week I think we saw each other twice. One was supposed to be a date, but he got caught up “last minute” with a project. I had stuff to work on too so I suggested we meet up and study together. That day he would jokingly pinch my thighs so I’d try to pinch him back and he also called me thunder thighs. The comment didn’t bother me a lot because I’m fine with my body but I thought it was odd. 

I commented on how he never hugs me and he gave me the hardest pick me up bear hug, to the point where it hurt. He also picked me up and spun me around so fast I almost fell and he had to hold me up. And then at one point he put me on the desk and was just kind of playing rough like pretended to choke me but didn’t actually. By this point there are alarm bells going off but I hold off on making a decision.

On the way back to our cars there’s barely anyone outside and it’s dark out. I jokingly “bump” into him with my hip in like a flirty way and he goes that’s too much pda. (last time I used that trick on a guy it got me a kiss ; ) but oh well)  I look back and note the irony because he inquired about sex should we get into an official relationship but he was far from affectionate and NEVER kissed me, not even on the cheek, and never any handholding. I also remember one time driving in his car he would "playfully" push my head or when I tried to change the music on his phone, he would flick me. It didn’t particularly hurt with the head thing but I was just kinda like ??? and he goes idk what I’m doing/ why I did that.

General lack of empathy:

The weekend before the last date I tried to change the date time to a little earlier because I wasn’t feeling well and also didn’t want to be out late because I had to study and prefer to do that at night and tried to run errands beforehand. I got my period that morning AND unbeknownst to me at the time I was having a reaction to meds I had been taking for a while which led to some pretty gross digestive side effects so I didn’t go into detail in explaining exactly what was wrong with me. He also mentioned doing something spooky at night in a park, but I wasn’t feeling that idea, so even more of a reason to make the date earlier. He was upset but kept his cool and said we should just reschedule.

I got worse and I felt so sick that night and his reaction was.. different. He called me, I had been asleep and explained that I just woke up to his call which you could tell by my voice and that I was still not feeling well and all he said was interesting repeatedly. I can’t say for sure but I definitely got the vibe that he was trying to see if I was telling the truth or not. But he never asked if I was okay or voiced any concern.

Another time I also burned the absolute fuck out of my hand with a hair straightener (like it is still scarred to this day) and he flicked it, it was dark so in his defense he didn’t know it was the burned hand but he didn’t say sorry or anything or if I brought up that it was particularly hurting he just wouldn’t respond to it.

side notes:

On occasion he would message me to see what I was doing when he knew I was out with people or would inquire about it when we talked. In the beginning this seemed normal because he’s just “getting to know me,” but as time went on I found it kind of intrusive and rude so I’d just said hey I’m out so I’m not gonna be on my phone after x time.

Two side things I remember, and I have no idea why it went over my head but once he nonchalantly said I shouldn’t trust a word he says and another time he said I have bad taste in guys. Thought he was joking, maybe self deprecating humor and sarcasm, but in hindsight he was telling me exactly who he was.

Last date:

A couple of days before the last date he called me and we were talking on the phone like normal, then he suggested going out on a date. I had the LSAT in a week so I really wanted to stay home. It has high time anxiety!! And he said something about also being a student and knowing damn well I wasn’t going to study all the time. It was rude but he also wasn’t wrong so I caved. Again noting the manipulation in retrospect.

During this conversation he said he would call back with plans. When he called back he didn't have any, so we were trying to solidify ideas. He wanted to play tennis but the place on campus was closed. I tried finding a park in between us and he just seemed to be getting annoyed. I even messaged one of my friends to find a spot who lives in my town and plays tennis and he acted weird because it was a male name. One place I suggested which happens to be in the town I was hanging out with a friend before and he asks where she is like she’s in NYC where she lives??? (like being paranoid as if she would show up where we were). So during this phone call he then said he had to go soon to read a book. I told him that since he had to go I could call him back with plans. He asked why I would do that and I said because he just told me he had to read and he said he never said that. It was just so bizarre that he would act like he didn’t say something minutes ago. Again, now knowing about gaslighting for some reason he was trying to make me question my reality.

So we settle on going to a mall in between us rather than me traveling literally an hour to a park where he wanted to go. 

So the day of the last date he complains SO much:

First about the parking. Before he insisted that he drive me and I said no that I would meet him there. I like having control over when I can leave and I’m so glad I stuck to that on that day.

He complained about being able to find me even though I said let’s meet inside the food court.

I told him I was standing outside of x parking row so he could find me and he sarcastically said, "oh well it's a good thing you're 6 feet."

Then when we walk in he said we should’ve gone to a mall he liked in a faraway town. This was one the few dates I got to pick only after him being difficult about what he wanted to do before. I would have done his date idea but he was unwilling to compromise on a location in between us and was somehow paranoid that one of my friends would show up if it was too close to me. He said he liked people who were assertive and can take charge because if they’re not they’re insecure and that’s not attractive, but rarely did we actually go on a date where the activity was something I suggested. The plans would always somehow change to what he wanted. When he made the assertive comment I knew he was bullying me because I couldn’t think of an idea quick enough off the top of my head.

While in the mall he would say he wants to go to a nearby store that’s close by but not in the mall. So i’d ask if he wants to leave and he says no.

And he took the fun out of it and only looked at stuff he liked.

Other strange behavior on the date:

I’d do something funny, like I know how to put on the cute charm, and he would walk away and act like I was embarrassing him.

He kept complaining that someone smelled musty and insinuated it was me. It definitely was not because I showered right before I left and shave my underarms so I ended up washing them twice!

I was also particularly anxious that day so I had on lavender essential oil and thought maybe he wasn’t used to the scent so I waved my wrist in front of him and asked if that was the smell. Well he got upset that I did that in front of people to see?

He was also paranoid that people would overhear a conversation. It was vague enough so no one but us knew what I was talking about. The conversation had to do with him being concerned that a random gay guy in his neighborhood was looking at him and I made a joke saying how do you know you're even their type. He brought this up more than once and he had also said something the last week about something being “gay.” So I was concerned that he might be homophobic which we also had a conversation about because that's something I have zero tolerance for.

He also pointed out people and asked if he looked like this person would I still like him.

I would ask him a question like something actually engaging and interesting and he would flat out ignore me or say I don’t know.

We ended up in a bookstore because he was unhappy with what we were doing before and I was trying really trying to salvage the date at this point.

There he made some weird comment asking about my sister (which he knew I was estranged from) as if he was interested in her, but like it kind of went over my head because she’s just super messed up and I was kind of like oh like you don’t wanna go out with her.

Main reason I broke up with him:

I saw this cute writing prompt book, opened to a random page that asked what was on my bucket list. I asked what was on his and he said idk and refused to answer.

So we move to this section that has two genre books right next to each with also happens to be our individual majors. So he’s looking at his books and i’m looking at mine. Well I found a book that said c**t. I said “look this is so gross I hate this word”. He looks up and says “c**t, like you”. I was visibly upset and he kept a straight face, he wasn't joking and didn’t even look up from his book. I said bet, well noted and walked away for several minute. When I came back around he had his nose buried in the same book. He didn't apologize until when I was breaking up through text. I know some people use the word and it’s not a big deal, but we don’t even come from cultural backgrounds where that word is normal or even used. Weeks prior, he asked me a hypothetical question about marriage and about what would make me get a divorce and I said abuse in any form (physical, verbal, emotional, etc.) and before he had said shut up I said it is fine jokingly but I don’t like it because it can be a slippery slope if you get made and then really mean it. I had talked about how important language is in a relationship for me. So he was very clearly violating a boundary I had already established.

I didn't know how he would respond to confrontation, plus I realized I was carrying his keys so I couldn’t just run off, so I decided to end the date early and handle the situation later. So we're walking back to our cars and I'm visibly not okay. I’m just pissed off and really hurt, but that translated to me being really quiet, twisting the bag furiously and walking super fast. He asked if he could see the book I bought and tried to make eye contact with me although I refused to look at him. He then decides to ask what's on my bucket list. I say I don't know. When we got to our cars he asked if I wanted to go get dinner like totally ignoring what just happened and that something is obviously wrong. So I said no I'll pick something up and left. Later that night he texted me saying thanks and that he had fun??? And that's when the breakup texts started. His apology was weak and he said “yeah sorry sometimes words fly out my mouth to quick at times” and that he understood why I was upset and apologized. And I was basically like thanks for apologizing but you still said it which is significant”  and ended it. 

After that two days went by before he replied and I think it’s just because of a screenshot of a tweet I had retweeted I posted that he saw. It said, “how others treat you is there path and how I react was mine” and I had retweeted it and said “needed to hear that.”

So the next message he tried to throw a bunch of compliments at me (like that’s cute and all but I already know who I am and you definitely didn’t treat me like I had all those qualities). But what was glaring about that message was that fact that he said he shouldn't have been blunt that day, implying that he believes what he said was accurate but he just shouldn’t have said it.

After I ended things he asked if we could still be friends. I said yes even though I didn't meant it. I haven't spoken to him at all since. 

About a week after breaking up we must have left campus this particular night at the same time because his car cut me off out of no where. He decided to switch lanes while still in my blindspot, almost causing an accident.

This may not mean anything at all, but I realized afterwards that he has 3 fb pages, I had never seen the other 2 before. Who does that and why??? 

Andd Aftermath: 

Although I try to see the best in people, I always considered myself to be super cautious and generally don’t trust people easily so i’m kinda beating myself up over the fact that I allowed all of this happen. Like with dates I always kept them in a public space. The fact is my gut told me something was off, but I was so anxious about the LSAT that I thought the anxiety was just from that and not him and I didn’t trust it.

So now i’m at the stage of realizing he treated me really badly, the most was towards then end, but I just wish I noticed sooner.

Now I know that the person he presented in the beginning was just a facade to lure me in and it’s just so eerie to know it was a lie and to not know who he truly was.

I feel like I just always attract crazy, ill-intentioned people and that’s not my type at all! 

(Blast to the Past)

There was the guy from a high school summer program cohort, who lived in a nearby state, who started messaging me about a year and a half ago and ended up wasting my time. 

So the story goes this guy would text me everyday. It was platonic but he definitely made it seem like he was interested. (consistent communication, sharing personal things, asking advice on personal things, asking how I was, etc.) I found out he had a girlfriend, which ok fine but it was shady that he never mentioned her. So I stopped talking to him plus I was sorta distracted w/ someone else at the time. Well, he just texted me recently after A WHOLE YEAR of no communication in any form talkin bout wassup (with this lame ass sunglass wearing emoji). He wasn’t even cute to be quite honest and I’ve learned a l o t since the last time we talked so I ignored him.

And the person I was distracted with at the time was this stalker witch who somehow always showed up where I was even after we broke up. So me and this guy I met had this instant incredible connection, like we talked for hours the night we met and it just felt like i’ve known him, like super easy to talk to. Although he had traits that annoyed me overall it was pretty great (aside from huge thing he was lying about). I’ve always been uncomfortable being vulnerable, but with him I felt like I was able to be more physical and share my feelings and things I don’t talk to other people about and he was just a lot of fun. Looking back maybe there was some love bombing going on because I fell fast in like and caught feelings.

Fast forward and I found out he was a witch. We talked about religion and he mentioned mediating but I never thought in the witchcraft way (and that’s something I’ve never been exposed to). He talked about growing up muslim but not being religious so I thought oh he believes in God, he’s just not religious. Ending that was so very painful for me. He would always end up finding me and talking to me and I never got enough space until after he graduated. Even after he still found reasons to contact me until I blocked him. Each time he saw and spoke to me was like picking at a fresh scab. He even had the audacity to feel some type of way and thought I was judging him because of his beliefs. Like I’m very tolerant of people doing what they want as long as they don’t hurt others, but I deserved to know the truth and to choose for myself. Like how selfish to knowingly let someone fall for you and lie knowing there’s something about you that is fundamentally (cannot express fundamentally enough) against their belief system. As much as it hurt, if I have to choose between someone and God, I will always choose my Creator. If I knew from the beginning, none of that would have ever happened.

These are just the guys that made the list. There have been other freaks that have approached me.

-----

I really don’t understand because i’m not into “bad boys,” “fuck boys” or anything like that. I honestly just really want to be with a kind, sweet guy someday who has a genuinely good heart. But I seem to attract the wrong people, even outside of romance.

So the worst part for me I think is feeling like a perpetual magnet for crazy or ill-intentioned people, and in this last case, not noticing that he was a bad person sooner and for allowing someone to treat me so poorly. I know i’m a decent person overall, but part of me still wonders what’s wrong with me that I’m not good enough in their eyes to be treated with kindness and respect and honesty. (And yeah Ik that’s flawed thinking, but it’s what I thought and i’m working on changing that narrative.)

After these experiences how do I trust my judgement when it’s time to let someone else in again?

I am genuinely very intelligent, at least book smart, I can give good relationship advice to others, but when it comes to myself I just feel so freaking dumb. 

I think that’s everything I need to let out. If not i’ll come back and edit.

I am journaling all of this so that I can let it go in the hopes of moving on and not bringing this with me into the new year. Also maybe someone can learn from my experiences. 

[raeyvies]

What happens when Seven finds out about MC’s anxiety? pt.3 - finale

MC has anxiety revolving fear of being abandoned/thrown away as though she were worthless. However, she has violent and destructive tendencies to cope with her distress. Luckily she has it under control with medication, but what happens when MC stops taking her meds and Seven accidentally triggers her anxiety once again?

Suggested by @revalya​ : “What would Seven do if he meets an MC who has anxiety like Saeran and she only wants to run away?” 

You can read the Saeran version of this story here.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

Part: 3/3

Length: 1536

Pairing: SevenxMC

Warning: Gun violence

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes ^^;;

You had broken down in his arms and fell to crouch. Saeyoung cradled you until your tears subsided and you calmed down. Having been only told that all you wanted was help, he began making a mental list of things he could do. But at the top of that list was to get your medication.

That wasn't difficult at all for your boyfriend. In truth be told, he already had your pills by the next day right after leaving work. He had a feeling that you were going to be extremely unstable for the next few days, and maybe weeks, so he also acquired tranquilizers to use just in case your anxiety made you too destructive.

As he drove into your building’s parking lot, Saeyoung was formulating things he would say to you. What to say and what not to say. The bottle of pills in his hand, he entered your apartment only to feel his body go cold. He was faced with the sight of you holding a hand gun, pointed straight at him. He also noticed that your hands were trembling as you tried to maintain your aim.

That night was the peak of your anxiety induced violence. This had never happened with any of your previous boyfriends that threw you away like a worn out plaything. Never on your records for domestic violence had it been reported gun violence. And as you held that gun pointed at Saeyoung, you were so petrified at the thought of actually pulling the trigger. But the thought of knowing you won't have to be thrown away again was an even stronger force to keep you wanting to pull the trigger. You worked with firearms. It was only a matter of time before this happened, right?

While crying you were also chuckling half heartedly. “Saeyoung, what if I can end it here? You leave me and I can stop thinking about the day you abandon me.”

Slowly approaching you, he showed you the pills in his hand to prove he was only there to help. He was convinced you wouldn't pull the trigger because he knew you had a conscience to restrain yourself. “MC, we both know that won't help you. I'm going to try hard to get you through this but it won't stop if you shoot.”

You step back and trembled more fiercely. You don't want to shoot knowing it's not going to fix anything but the fear inside you was doing things you couldn't control. “No! Saeyoung, if you want to ‘help’ me out of my problem, get out of my life.”

You closed your eyes and pulled the trigger, the force of the gun pushing you back a few steps. Before processing anything, you immediately felt a sense of relief and all your emotions were coming back to their rightful places. The Demon of fear seemed to leave your body and realizing what you did, you didn't want to open your eyes. No you couldn't bare to see what you had done and dropped the gun (Don't be dumb. Never drop a loaded gun just like that.)

But then you felt Saeyoung wrap his arms around you, and you opened your eyes to see he was absolutely fine. You had completely missed him because you lost aim of him when you closed your eyes. You felt his heart racing against your body; you couldn’t imagine how terrified he was of you.

Confused of what to do, you didn't know what emotion to show, and how to face Saeyoung after all this. But you knew that would never happen again. Pulling away from Saeyoung, you met his eyes which you noticed were dilated so much.

“I hope the worst is over,” he said with a shaky voice. Next thing you knew, you felt a needle prick at your neck and everything faded to black.

Saeyoung took you to his bunker for the first time, and had you laid down in his bed while he watched you from his computers. Between waiting for you to wake up and eating Honey Buddha Chips, he called a list of psychiatrists, hoping that one would take you in for regular sessions, possibly daily.

After that experience, he knew he couldn't go at this alone. Being with you all the time wouldn't be enough, and he was certain that you would be dependent on medication for you to lead a normal life. He was no psychiatrist and honestly, he felt like he was making assumptions but he wasn't far off. It would be quite a while before you wouldn't need drugs, seeing as your violent reactions to fear escalated far beyond your previous record.

Saeyoung was with you when you finally woke up calmed down. He let you eat first before telling you to take the medicine he found for you. It was the same one you previously took as well and it kept your emotions under control once again. You didn't have outbursts while on the meds, aside from some verbal outbursts.

Months after the incident, you were back in therapy sessions every other day which was nostalgic to you, reminding you of the first time you admitted yourself to treatment when you were nineteen years old. And that was twelve years ago. You'd been living with your demons for so long already, and you were just exhausted at this point. It was the same cycle over and over again because of it. Hopefully it would change soon enough.

You temporarily stayed with Saeyoung mainly because your apartment was so trashed that it would be awhile before you could stay there. He helped you make progress and was gentle with you. He made sure that you knew he would stay with you.

It was an uphill battle for the both of you. But you two were only relieved to know that your violent occurrences were finally behind you. You learned to manage your fears and anxieties as well eventually that it was almost as if you were the same person Saeyoung met all those months ago. You were joking once again, and pulling pranks on him. Your sexual drive had been restored as well, and Saeyoung couldn't deny he missed the adventures of car christening.

One day, Saeyoung suggested going back to your apartment to at least clean it up before you moving out of it. He finally asked you to move in with him and you accepted. What you didn't know was that he had already been there cleaning for you during your therapy sessions, so when you entered what used to be a disaster site, you gasped. You couldn't even remember what it was before.

“Yeah I kind of cleaned it up by myself. No need to thank me,” Saeyoung joked. Though, he pointed at the walls that were in some dire need of a new paint job. You ruined a lot of it when you ended up throwing food at the walls. It felt like so long ago, you even forgot that you went as far as having a food fight by yourself here.

You didn't say anything, and simply gave him a kiss on his cheek as a thank you. Of course, he already had the paints ready and the two of you got working.

It was therapeutic in fact. It felt like you were putting pieces back together and strengthening their bonds to make sure they don't fall again. You were so lost in painting the walls, you flipped out when you felt something bump into your ankle. Coincidentally you ended up painting Saeyoung from the scare.

“Ouchie! Ms. MC, please be careful,” you heard a robotic and cute voice. At your feet there was a little robot cat with beautiful blue eyes, and you picked her up. Her head moved a little and she blinked occasionally.

You glared at Saeyoung who was only smiling at you. “I kind of forgot to tell you. We have a pet now! Her name is Elly. Don't worry, she's very low maintenance. She was supposed to stay in your closet but looks like she came out on her own.”

“Elly?”

The robot heard its name and meowed, “That's me, Ms. MC! Saeyoung made so I could be with you when he can't. You'll soon notice that I'm very much like that red haired fur ball.”

That drew laughter from you especially seeing as Saeyoung wasn't expecting Elly to be so smart. But well, that's what happened when he made a robot cat into a talking AI. He was so pouty you couldn't help but find it cute and plant a little kiss on his lips.

“It's okay, Saeyoung. At least you're my furball,” you whispered against his lips. You let Elly down onto the ground as you then lightly pushed Saeyoung against the wall with wet paint, and a naughty make out session made you forget why you were in the apartment in the first place.

“I wish I could cover my eyes but my arms are immobile. I'll turn around to give you space. I will also refuse to go into your cars until I know they have been disinfected from your mating adventures.”

Oh Elly.

The End.

[carmen-berzattos]

Breathe.

So the last part of the Photographer and the Lonely Artist is driving me crazy. I’m taking a break from overthinking that by writing fluffy fluffy fluffy drabbles from the one word prompts some of you sent a while back!

AU/AH where Klaroline are neighbors. Longer than I planned it to be because, well, it’s me. Enjoy! 

Carolinejerked out of her sweet slumber to the sound of incessant knocking. One minuteshe was on her bed, snuggled between comfortable blankets and the second she’son the floor, yelping as her elbow hit the floor.

“What thefuck?” She muttered, too sleepy to actually yell. “What’s going on?”

As her eyesadjusted to the darkness, another series of forceful knocks attempted to jolther out of her sleepy state.

“You’reabout to break the door, asshole.” Her voice was a little louder but still scratchywith sleep. And as if the intruder heard her, the doorbell rang the next momentinstead of another knock.

“Fine.” She huffed.“I’m coming.”

Standing upquickly, Caroline ignored the way her head spun with the quick movement. Shestomped towards the door, equal parts angry and annoyed which meant only onething: Whoever was on the door was dead. All is fair when you wake Caroline sorudely.

“WHAT?” Sheyelled as she threw the door opened, only to stutter back on her feet.

Caroline didnot know what to expect when she threw the door opened. She did not have asingle inkling over who it might be. But she certainly did not expectKlaus, her hot, drop-dead gorgeous, new neighbor, standing on the other side ofthe door. Klaus had moved in two months before, bringing in perfect genes and awinning smile into their quiet building. She still remembered the first timeshe met him, how she reeled at the way he moved and how she stared and staredat his unfairly handsome face, gaze lingering on his lips. And he had known itthen, smirking, doing his own fair share of ogling. When she snapped out of herfantasies (it had been too long), she cleared her throat, turned herdumbfounded expression to a polite smile, welcomed him into the building andwalked into her apartment without a second glance. As soon as she was in herapartment, however, she found herself leaning against the door inhaling sharply.

“Wow,” shewhispered, looking up towards any deity that might exist. “Good job.”

From thatmoment on, Caroline both loved and hated running into the unfairly handsome Klaus.He was a pleasure to look at, there was no doubt about it. And that definitelytranslated into her dreams. But he was also incredibly arrogant and smug.Everything he did exuded a confidence that made Caroline simultaneously want topunch him and kiss him. His smirks, his flirtatious tone, the way he tilted hishead, the way his eyes sparked with mischief even as the dimples made him lookso innocent, so welcoming, all screamed danger to Caroline. Katherine wasadamant that she did not need to overthink it, just jump his bones to scratchan itch and be done with it. But behind it all, Caroline knew he would becharming, irresistibly so, making him a professional heartbreaker. And shecould not handle that. She’d done it before and was not up for it again. So shelet herself enjoy the way his eyes scanned her and the way he smirked in herdirection and the way he starred in her dreams.

Excepttonight, Klaus was not wearing any of his usual crooked smiles or infuriatingsmirks. He did not dimple at the sight of her in nothing but short shorts and atank top without bra, did not tease her for the mess of her hair, did not movelike he owned the entire universe. Instead, he stood before her in a pair ofsweatpants and an old t-shirt, his hair sticking around his head in odd anglesand his face, much to Caroline’s horror, as pale as a sheet of paper. Hisshoulders moving rapidly as he seemed to struggle to breathe. And she couldswear his lips were a little blue.

“Klaus, what’swrong?” She squeaked, all sleep gone now from her eyes and her irritation longforgotten.

“Asthma …attack.” He wheezed out, shocking her with the way his voice barely scratchedits way out of his throat.

“Oh shit.”She muttered, unable to do anything but stare at him with growing anxiety.

“Hospital.” Hemanaged to get out. A flash of annoyance on his face through the painedexpression. “Can’t… drive.”

“Right!”Caroline snapped out of her frenzy. “Let me just grab my keys and…you justbreathe.”

“Thanks…sweetheart.” He bit out. She would have snapped at him for finding the time tomock her even in this state but he was growing increasingly paler. And she wasso not going to be the reason the world lost such a beautiful, albeit a littletoo smug, face. So instead, she wordlessly rolled her eyes and quickly slippedinto her bedroom, changing into jeans and throwing on a jacket over her tanktop. Within two minutes, she was hurrying out of her apartment and practicallydragging Klaus behind her.

-

The drive tothe hospital was anything but graceful. Caroline broke every traffic rule knownto mankind, ruining her perfect history. But she could not bring herself tocare when Klaus looked like he was incapable of doing anything but focus on hisbreathing and yet growing paler. Thankfully, the streets of Chicago were empty at3:00 a.m., reducing their chances of a car crash.

Within tenminutes, Caroline was rushing Klaus into the ER, leaving him to the capablehands of the doctors. She watched from a distance as doctors and nurses fussedover him, placing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and hooking his arm toan IV. It took about another ten minutes for the doctors and nurses to settledown around him. And Caroline finally let out a breath she did not know she washolding. At that point, one nurse headed towards her with a kind smile.

“He’ll befine. The attack is under control. We’ll just need to keep him here for acouple of hours for the meds to work and to make sure that he won’t haveanother attack.”

“Thank you.”Caroline said, smiling back at the young nurse.

Before thenurse walked away, she leaned in closer to Caroline to whisper conspiratorially,“Nice catch.” She winked, leaving Caroline stuttering that she wasn’t hisgirlfriend. Not that the nurse was particularly wrong. He would be a nicecatch. In a universe where he didn’t make her want to slap that smug expressionoff of his face half the time.

Shaking herhead, she joined him at his bedside, relieved to find that he was alreadygaining back color. He turned his head towards her, attempted to shoot her asmile that she couldn’t quite make out through his oxygen mask. She waved himoff, shooting him a comforting smile.

“You justbreathe.” She said.

His eyebrowsshot up, a teasing glint in his eyes. She could almost hear him saying “Yougive the best, least obvious advice, love.”

“Shut up.” Sherolled her eyes, tempted to stick her tongue out at him.

Klausremoved the oxygen mask, grinning at her. “I didn’t say anything, love.” Hisvoice returned to its velvety tone, only slightly gravelly from exertion. Whichsomehow made it sexier.

Her eyeswidened, trying to shove the mask back on his face. “Oh my God, don’t removethat thing!”

His amusedlaugh turned into a cough, after which he obliged and placed the mask back onhis mouth, though the mirth never left his eyes.

“Do youseriously want to risk another attack just to tease me?” she squeaked out.

He removedthe mask once more, causing Caroline to huff and cross her arms over her chestat his stubbornness. “Didn’t know you cared so much.” He winked, shooting her awinning smile.

She scoffed,“I only care because I’m not a fan of late night emergency calls.

He placed ahand over his chest in mock-hurt. “You wound me, love. You mean to say that mypain does not affect you at all? And here I thought we were getting to knoweach other.” He shook his head, pressing his lips in sadness.

“No,” sheinsisted, reaching for the mask and snatching it from his hand to replace it onhis mouth. “It doesn’t. I’m an ice queen.”

Before hecould deliver a witty retort, the nurse walked towards them, fiddling with theIV and shooting them a beaming smile.

“Looks likeyour color is returning.” She said brightly. “You were cutting it close there.Should’ve come here earlier.”

He shrugged.

“He’sstubborn.” Caroline volunteered, shooting him a pointed smile.

“Good thingyou had someone to drive you here.” The nurse grinned at Caroline. “The Café ison the first floor, by the way, if you want to grab coffee. He’s gonna be herefor a while.”

With thatthe nurse left.

“You don’thave to stay, Caroline. I’m perfectly fine taking a cab back.” Klaus said,dutifully placing the oxygen mask back on his mouth at Caroline’s warningglare.

She shookher head. “I’m not leaving. What if you need something?”

The nextthing out of his mouth made her immediately regret her sincerity. “I knew youhad a soft spot for me.” He grinned.

“Are youseriously incapable of shutting up?”

For a fewmoments, they grew quiet. Him taking deep breaths while he held her gaze.Slowly, the teasing glint in his eyes dissipated to be replaced with a softlook that she had never seen him wear before. Turning the blues in his eyes toa welcoming ocean, inviting her in, sucking her in. And she found herselfholding her breath as he slowly removed his oxygen mask.

“Caroline,”he said gently, almost in a whisper.

“Yes?” shehated how breathless her voice was.

“You’re aterrible driver.” He smirked.

“You knowwhat, you can fend for yourself.” This time, she did stick her tongue out athim, letting out a frustrated noise as she began to walk away, wanting to punchthe amused laughter out of him.

“No, wait,wait, sweetheart.” He called after her, his hand shooting out to grab hers,tingling her skin, freezing her movement. “Wait,” he said again, this time givingin to a violent bout of coughing. He placed the mask back on his mouth asCaroline ran her thumb back and forth over the back of his hand. The feel oftheir entwined hands spread warmth through her, and from the way he watched themovement of her thumb on his hand, she knew she had a similar effect on him.

“Serves youwell for mocking me.” She teased, but it came out a lot softer than sheintended.

Taking a fewmore deep breaths, he removed the mask, looking at her with the same softexpression as he laid his second hand on top of hers, and drawing her theslightest bit closer. She watched her small hand engulfed by his callousedones, noting idly that the tips of his fingers were rougher than she thoughtthey would be. When she looked back up at him, a soft smile had etched itselfonto his face. She couldn’t help but think that he looked as if he had steppedout of a painting.

“Thank you,Caroline.” He finally whispered. “For helping me.”

She smiledat him slightly, unable to speak above a whisper. “That’s what neighbors arefor.”

He chuckled.“Is it now?”

“Yeah. It’sa difficult job, you know. Being a neighbor. All those late night calls.” She grinnedwhen he laughed. She noticed that he had an infectious laughed.

“How about Imake it up to you then?” He tilted his head to the side, smiling still when sheraised her eyebrows at him quizzically. “Let me take you out to dinnersometime, Caroline.”

The way he saidher name made her breath stutter. “Umm” she bit her lower lip, looking down attheir entwined hands once more before looking back up at his imploring eyes. “Ihave a better idea. I’m gonna be really hungry after we get out of here andthere is this place that serves the best pancakes just a couple of blocks awayfrom here.”

A few hourslater, Caroline found herself sitting across from Klaus, both of them still intheir pajamas, her hair still sticking out at odd angles much like his, with aplateful of chocolate chip pancakes in front of her, laughing at hisunimpressed expression at her choice of food. He insisted that nothing isbetter than simple plain pancakes. It was 9 a.m. when they finally made it backto their building, Klaus leaving her with a kiss on her cheek and a plea toaccept his invitation to dinner. She said yes with her heart in her throat,realizing the danger of the warmth he caused within her.

Pleasedon’t make me regret this. She chanted in her head.

And she didn’tregret it. She never did. Not even a little. Not even once. 

[beaniesandmilkshakes]

ash and smoke (2/?)

previous part

summary:  A civil war is brewing between the north and south sides of Riverdale, being fueled by none other than the mayor Hal Cooper. When Betty meets the mysterious Southside Serpent Jughead Jones at a party, the revolution is only just sparking. It isn’t until the town is burning to ash around them that they confess their love, but by then it might just be too late.

author’s note: so sorry for the delay in updating, my computer broke and i hit the fateful writer’s block once it was fixed, but i’m back! i also made a spotify playlist based around this fic. the songs aren’t in a particular order and some don’t even have to do with the plot, mainly just for the aesthetic of the story. so please give it a follow if you’d like! enjoy xo!

read on ao3

masterpost

Jughead Jones watched as the Riverdale High girls drove off. Probably heading back to their non-mobile homes with two stories and a white picket fence. He thought to himself, before heading back into the party.

 He didn’t normally socialize during Serpent parties, but when he caught wind that three northside girls had crashed, Jughead decided to come out from the shadows to see what they wanted. Of course, he hadn’t expected to see Vince trying to feel a blonde up when he came downstairs, but his anxiety spiked once he realized who exactly the girl was.

 Now that she and her friends had driven off, all Jughead could hope for was that the Cooper girl didn’t tell her dad about the house.

 “Hey Jug, I’m in the mood for a smoke, wanna join me?” Harvey Kinkle moved his way through the crowd, his signature charming smile in place. Jughead shrugged in response.

 “Sure,” The two boys headed to an empty room upstairs, opening the windows and lighting up their cigarettes. Jughead exhaled a cloud of smoke, watching it disappear into the night sky.

 “Hey Harvey, when’s your homecoming game again?” Jughead asked, flicking the ash on the end of his cigarette.

 “This Friday, actually,” Harvey responded, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you asking?”

 “What?”

 “Jug, the past five years I’ve known you, I’ve never once heard you take an interest in anything involving physical activity.” Harvey laughed, nudging his friend. “Does this have anything to do with those Rivervixens crashing earlier?”

 “Well, what if I just want to come and support my friend, who just happens to be playing his first game as captain?” Jughead sighed, running a hand through his dark hair, his beanie having been thrown onto a chair across the room. Harvey rolled his eyes.

 “Whatever you say Jug.” With that, the two fell back into a comfortable silence, Jughead’s daydreams of those soft green eyes looking back at him filling his mind.

  By the time Friday rolled around, Betty was absolutely exhausted.

 Homecoming week was a whirlwind of decorating the fieldhouse and dealing with an even more uptight Cheryl Blossom for an extra two hours a day. The homecoming game was the Vixen’s annual chance to show up the Greendale Giants, and seeing as it was lead by none other than Cheryl’s “mortal enemy” Sabrina Spellman, the Vixen’s routine had to be flawless.

 “Betty, you have bags under your eyes,” Alice Cooper noted dully, sipping her tea. Betty clenched her fist, which had more crescent-shaped wounds than usual, the stress of the past few days building up little by little. Polly noticed how her sister tensed and cleared her throat.

 “You can borrow my concealer Betty,” She offered, shooting her a warm smile. Before Betty had time to respond, Alice interjected.

 “That won’t be necessary Polly, Betty’s much paler than you.” Betty pursed her lips and Polly stared at her lap, mumbling an apology. “Just make sure you fix yourself up before the game tonight, Betty. You wouldn’t want to look weak in front of the entire town, would you?” There was an edge to her mother’s voice that reminded Betty of when her father was campaigning for mayor. ‘Remember Betty, just smile and wave. ‘Don’t speak unless spoken to. If you act out you make our family look weak.’

 Betty swallowed and nodded, “I’ll pick up a concealer during my lunch hour at the drugstore.” Alice nodded and turned to Polly to ask about where she and Jason will take their homecoming photos, signaling that the previous conversation was over. She had been displeased to find that Betty hadn’t found a homecoming date, and would be going stag for the second year in a row. Another reason to be called a failure to the Cooper name.

 “You know mom doesn’t mean what she said, we’re the same skin tone for God’s sake!” Polly sighed as the two drove to school twenty minutes later, Betty staring out the passenger’s seat window.

 “It’s fine, Pol. She’s always been like that with me, and in three years I’ll be off at college where she can’t control me anymore.”

 “Yeah, well next year I’ll be off at college and I hate to think of what kind of sick mind games she’ll play with you when I’m gone,” Polly reached for her sister’s hand and the two shared a look of sorrow. The Cooper sisters had always been close, never having the petty sibling rivalries that the movies depict. Betty wouldn’t lie and say the thought of her sister leaving next year was heartbreaking, but she would never dare admit it out loud. If she did, Polly’s loyalty would force her to stay home, attending the community college and leaving behind her bright future, adding another thing to the long list of guilt Betty would hold with her.

 “I’ll be fine, I’m a big girl now, remember? And besides, I’ve got Veronica and Cheryl, not to mention Mom finally caved and got me meds at the start of the year.” It had taken years of begging and countless “episodes”, but Alice Cooper had finally made an appointment with a psychologist two towns over to get Betty a prescription for anxiety medication. Although the dosage was still small, Betty had felt the effects almost immediately.

 Polly sighed, pulling into the school parking lot, “Whatever you say Betts, and remember, I’m always a phone call away.” Betty laughed.

 “You’re making it sound like you're leaving tonight,”

 “I wish, but it’s never too early to start reminding you,” The oldest Cooper daughter winked at her sister and the two made their way into school.

  “Alright bitches, tonight needs to be perfect,” Cheryl smiled at the group of girls crowded in front of her in the girl’s locker room. The Vixens went on in three minutes during halftime, and the game was currently tied. Tension was high not only on the field but in the stands too.

 “She really needs to learn how to give better pep talks,” Veronica whispered to Betty, who bit her lip to suppress a giggle.

 “Those Giant sluts need to learn that we’re superior, nevermind the fact that they’ve beat us at regionals twice,” The redhead glared at Ginger, who notably fell flat on her face in an attempt to do a triple backflip two years in a row. “Anyways, let’s get out there and show Sabrina and her tragic excuse of a squad what us Vixens are made of,” As the girls started to shuffle towards their places, Cheryl shouted one last order. “And remember, amp up the sex appeal!”

 Betty took a deep breath, Cheryl’s final words ringing in her ears. She could be sexy, right? After the number of hours being shown the exactly the right way to move her hips, flaunt her breasts, and use her best assets, sexy should come naturally to her.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing, the Riverdale High Rivervixens!” Dilton Doiley’s voice boomed over the PA, and the music started to blast as the crowd cheered. Betty tried her best, letting her body move to the music. She plastered on the fake smile she had mastered since she was six-years-old and moved her head so her ponytail bounced to the beat. When the routine was finished, Ginger had landed her backflip successfully and the Riverdale stands were on their feet. Veronica shot Betty a knowing smile, and the blonde blushed.

 “Amazing job girls, but as always, it could have been better. Shiela, your form was less than impressive, and Ginger, that backflip cut it too close. One more fuck up and you're out.”

 “Cheryl-” Veronica started, before Betty put a hand on her shoulder, a silent signal to back off. While it was the best performance they’d done by far, there was no use in arguing with Cheryl Blossom. The girl was always critical about everything.

 “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you Aspirante Puta. Alright, everyone get out of my sight.”

 “Perra,” The raven-haired cheerleader mumbled before turning back to her friend. “Wanna grab some concessions and wait for Archie to get out?”

 “Sure, just as long as my mom doesn’t catch me eating any carbs.” Betty shrugged.

 Luckily, the Coopers had left after halftime due to a “very important meeting” Hal had to attend in the morning, leaving Betty to eat all the soft pretzels she wanted. As she turned to go find Veronica, who had run off to wait outside the boy’s locker room, she locked eyes with the last person she’d expect to see.

 “Ah, so the cheerleader sneaks a pretzel, how scandalous of you,” Jughead Jones was leaning against the bleachers, his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. He wasn’t wearing his serpent jacket, but Betty figures he’d be stupid to show up in a gang uniform to a northside football game.

 “Uh, what are you doing here?” Betty asked, cringing at how rude her words had come out.

 “Friends with the Greendale captain, and I just couldn’t miss the chance to see his team in action.” His excuse didn’t ease Betty’s nerves. “Relax, I’m not going to kidnap you, I just wanted to talk to the pretty girl who crashed my party again, and apologize for my asshole friend, again.” Oh, Betty thought, feeling guilty that her first instinct was to fear him. Jughead seemed a lot nicer than Cheryl had made him out to be.

 “Well thanks, and I’m fine, so uh, apology accepted.”

 “You won’t mind if I ask a question that’s been confusing me since I first saw you?”

 “Uh, sure I guess?” Betty bit her lip as Jughead ran his hand through his hair.

 “What was the mayor’s daughter doing at a southside party? Because if you went last weekend to find some danger, I’d suggest you stay away.” That wasn’t exactly the question Betty had been expecting.

 “It was a dare, sorry if we ruined your party but Cheryl really likes pulling us into stupid shit.” Under the field lights, Betty was able to make out his features more clearly than in the dim house, and she noticed the small freckles that dotted his tanned skin. As soon as he noticed her staring, though, she looked away quickly, a slight blush spreading across her cheeks. Jughead was more attractive than she remembered.

 “B!” Veronica called in the distance, snapping Betty out of her thoughts.

 “So…” Jughead rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing how to end the conversation.

 “Wanna get a milkshake at Pop’s sometime?” Betty blurted out, slapping her hand over her mouth once she realized what she had just said.

 “I mean, only if you want to,” She stumbled over her words and Jughead smirked. Though his stance would state otherwise, there was a flash of pain and longing in his eyes before he spoke.

 “Maybe one day, till then stay out of the south Cooper, you never know what kind of snakes will bite,” Before Betty could protest he was walking off towards a bleach blonde Greendale cheerleader and Veronica was at Betty’s side, Archie trailing behind her.

 “Hey, we’re going to grab some celebratory milkshakes, join us?” Veronica smiled, her eyes flitting to the raven haired boy across the field.

 “Sure!” Betty said as enthusiastically as she could without sounding fake. She shot Archie a smile and the three friends walked towards Archie’s beat up truck.

 Veronica turned to Betty and whispered, “And once we’re alone, you're going to explain why the hell Riverdale’s own Holden Caulfield was doing talking to you,” Oh lord, Betty thought. It’s going to be a long night.