#it is super long but i am getting this ALL OUT

[strange-aeons]

hi strange i’ve been enjoying yr videos for about four years thank u for giving me giggles for so long. however i am writing as i am not totally sure who else to ask…

my boyfriend had a traumatic pneumothorax last week and about 80% of his right lung collapsed. i don’t really know anything about pneumothorax (although i have learned so much recently lol) aside from hearing you mention it and as such i don’t know how to help him :(

i know it’s a shot in the dark but i was wondering if there are any comforts or ways to alleviate pain you could share? thank you so much strange you are super tough btw to have gone through this several times this Sucks big time

many good wishes to you and your sweet hairless babies in the new year!

If it happened one week ago he’s already gotten through the worst part! I’m assuming he’s still hospitalized with a chest tube in right now??

When I was in that situation it helped a lot having frequent visits from my partner and family. Especially when they brought snacks!!!!!! Hospital meals can be borderline inedible and there’s no way of escaping to the food court when you have a chest tube in (unless you plan to deceive multiple nurses and risk life threatening infection through the OPEN HOLE IN YOUR CHEST. Don’t do that).

Good food can be a relief in an otherwise horrible time, so finding out what he really wants to eat and brining it will definitely help. If he has no appetite then things like smoothies or drinkable soup can be very helpful. I often live off booster juice and Tim Hortona chicken noodle soup when hospitalized.

Finding the right media to keep sane is also very important!!! Your sleep schedule disintegrates entirely when laying on your back full of tube for multiple days. 2AM listening to alarms go off and 6AM getting woken up for x-rays and 1pm having the lunch slop delivered and 3pm being woken up for x-rays and 9pm visit from your surgeon all become basically indistinguishable, especially if you have no windows. Podcasts were ideal for me because it can be very hard to find a comfortable position with a chest tube / pneumothorax and looking at a screen was often too much of a hassle. Queer as fact and fall of civilizations are both excellent if you want non fiction btw. Old gods of Appalachia or welcome to nightvale if you want fiction.

There’s not a lot that you as a loved one can do about his physical pain, but I will share some of my pneumothorax expertise with you and anyone else who might go through this.

There’s no nerve endings in the lungs so all the pain/ discomfort related to a pneumothorax has to do with pressure in the chest cavity.

The pain is the absolute worst when your lung is actively collapsing so when that feeling starts SHOVE SOME EXTRA STRENGTH ADVIL OR TYLENOL DOWN YOUR THROAT, then lay down and wait for it to finish collapsing. It may seem tempting to rush to the hospital as fast as possible (or rush your loved one who’s lung is collapsing to the hospital) but trust me the last thing you want to do with a lung that is actively deflating like a sad balloon is exert yourself (this is how I collapsed my lung the full 100% and could not move my upper body for an hour. Quirky). Give it at least 30 minutes of floor time before you try to move. You will have a way better time getting to the hospital.

Wait sorry I lied lung re-inflation hurts sometimes more than the initial collapse. The sometimes are the times when ER nurses do not know how to do it properly. Immediately after they put the chest tube in, they attach it to a suction machine to suck out the excess air in your chest cavity. I do not know if these machines are the same internationally (I’m Canadian) but if you’re dealing with one where the settings are percentages, the one you want is 20% suction. NOT 100%!!! that just causes unnecessary excruciating pain without being more effective. I have had to fight numerous nurses while in the worst pain of my life to TURN THE PAIN MACHINE DOWN. fuck the pain machine. Anyway. After the pain machine they leave the tube in for a few more days to make sure the lung stays inflated. Nearing the end of that process, most of the discomfort is caused by the tube itself, so as horrible disgusting the worst getting that thing ripped out is, just know you will feel so much better after.

Throughout the healing process (and in the case of small pneumothoraxes not requiring chest tubes — I’ve had over 10 of those ones) I’ve noticed that heightened discomfort lasting a few minutes results from going from laying down to standing up or vice verse, or from bending over. This is why I have pioneered the sophisticated technique know as the pneumothorax squat. It is just as cool and hot as you’re imagining.

This post was supposed to be about how to support a loved one with a pneumothorax what the heck am I even talking about now.

Most of what he’s going to need will seem boring or insignificant. Companionship. Food. Medication. Toiletries. COMPANIONSHIP. podcast recommendations. But it absolutely is not insignificant. Abruptly losing mobility, independence, and bodily autonomy as a young person is really fucked up and I cannot fathom doing it without my family and my partner, even if most days that consisted of talking to me and bringing me smoothies and underwear.

Wishing a quick recovery to your boyfriend! Good luck with everything!!

[ohwell-itsme]

#what if we got bored and dissected human sexuality together

what frustrated me for a good long while before I just... shelved it I guess, because it's not going to get me anywhere is that

once you get past the point of like, trans people are normal and it's transphobia when you exclude them from your attraction on that basis alone, and it's normal and doesn't change your sexuality to love them with whatever genitalia they have the cliff of what you can define as gender based attraction soon ends when you reach "non-binary people exist"

there is nothing, NOTHING, in my appearance that indicates my gender identity, it's simply not one of those that look like anything, but we form our first impressions of people before they speak (supposedly most people just need a one good look, idk to me people are shifty strangers until I can have somewhat of a grasp on their personality and worldview, but turns out that's abnormal and highly paranoid, and like, I'm aroace), somehow the ever popular smash or pass quizzes are easy enough to vote on with just one picture of the person, the eyes just don't careeeee about the nuance of gender,

and preferences for either the feminine or masculine aesthetic no matter how pronounced mean jackshit too, because those are super fluid and constantly reshaped by culture and there's probably more people with gender non-conforming presentations than there is with green eyes, it's literally nonsense, it's case by case in reality and labels sometimes just get in the way, because again it's distressing for non-binary people to parse through who might even be attracted to me? Am I going to be alright getting with a person of that orientation, or would it feel dysphoric, bringing awareness to this side of me, feeling perceived as leaning more to this side? Are my options only mspecs, only other enbies who'll understand? Like the profiling, narrowing the scope of who you might have chances with, based on labels becomes USELESS once you're non-binary, they're not telling you shit!

All of it is stupid, like, fuck your binary, it doesn't even exist, no such a thing in biology. Fuck all the who can say what discourse and the biggest victim contests and the community tearing fucks who don't want to see how similar all of our experiences with misogyny are and conflate our labels with the experiences they think we do have, fuck all the erasure and just all of this bullshit

I'm going to make a huge beam and turn everyone consciously non-binary [the binary is already fake] and then I'll die and when I see god I'm gonna spit in his face, fuck off with all that.

so strange to me that some people aren't bisexual

[patchwork-artists]

Hey you! Have you seen this post by @pigswithwings? Do you like it? Do you like animation? Well do I have the news for you! With the author's permission and consultance, I am running a 5 minute animation short film on it, called "Angel back at home"!

Now, here's the most exciting news: We are looking for storyboarders, background designers, and 3 voice actors of all genders! Even better, you don't need to be a professional on any of those things whatsoever, only have some knowledge on them (and be of minimum age 16) to try and apply for the role!

Unfortunately, it is not paid, as for legal reasons we can not make profit out of it. Why should you join then, you ask? In this project we guarantee three things:

Portifolio building: Everything you will be producing, you can be using to add to your personal art portifolio, if this is a career you'd like to follow!

Resume: The short-film will be hosted on several film festivals, so you'll be able to put a big list of festivals your work was featured in, if you'd like to follow any art career. If not, the entire experience can be written in several bullet points on a resume ("experience with working in group", "experience of working within a deadline", etc) for any general job.

Advice and art growth: Every art that gets made on this project will be seen by me, the producer, and will be given advice for improvement. This is especially good if you've been on an art block, is self-taught, or overall would like a different perspective on your art. Don't worry, I'm not harsh!

Additional points is that it allows me to know new artists and new talents! From the last project I had run in this format, I had taken notice of 5 to 6 different artists that I hadn't known were so talented for their specific skills, which made me keep their names for the next project I'd produce. I am someone who dreams of opening an animation studio for new underrated talents and non-professionals that are studying to be professionals, so i'm looking forward to finding the artists on this project that will catch my eye and I'll bring over to the next project.

The timing is flexible since it is a volunteer ran project, if I can't pay I can't demand work hours of a job, so the deadline won't be too tight. For 5 minutes of film, the boards, voice acting, and single music will all in total take about 3 months, with the deadline starting in ferbuary and ending in the end of April. The following months will be given towards animation, sound editing and mixing, and video editing.

Requirements for storyboarders: Know how to draw, understand rule of thirds, enjoy drawing expressiveness through body language. You can be using any drawing device, whether that's computer, cellphone, or traditional, as long as you use the storyboard template in question and stay faithful to references.

Application link for storyboarders

Requirement for voice actors: have a somewhat good microphone(doesn't need to be professional and expensive, just good enough so we don't want to give the audio editors too much work), have interest in acting (preferably have had at least one theather class).

Application link for V/A

Lines for V/A

Requirement for background designer: Know how to draw or how to put together a 3d model of free assests, you don't need to be super experienced and specialized with drawing backgrounds but it'll be good to have a basic idea of it. You will be given specific references for the backgrounds, and you won't draw every single background, it'll be split work

Application link for background designer

Applications end by ferbuary 8th, but may be pushed forward if the applications are low. Everyone that passed will be noticed two days after.

Best of luck to everyone!

[cressidagrey]

Such A Mystery - Part 12 - The End

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Colette Leclerc (Original Character)

Summary:

Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.

Colette Leclerc really regrets posting that particular Taylor Swift Lyric to her private Instagram account, because it made George Russell go insane.  

The rest of the world has absolutely no idea that the Dutch Lion and Charles Leclerc’s twin sister have been a couple for 15 years and are expecting a baby. 

Warnings: 

Pregnancy, Mention of multiple miscarriages, Pregnancy complications, George Russell Bashing (he's probably really nice in real life but in this, he's the bad guy, sorry), Jos Verstappen, We have apparently now reached the time where I also bash Ferrari. I am sure they are super nice in real life too. They are not in this.

Author Notes: Huge thanks to @llirawolf for holding my hand through this. Chapter 12 of 12!

They were alone. Just the three of them.

Colette had never felt so exhausted in her entire life. But she had also never been so happy. Charlie had been fed once more and had then fallen back asleep, curled up on her father’s chest. Colette herself could barely keep her eyes open.

And she should be sleeping, but she could only watch her daughter curled up against Max's chest.

"How did we manage to create something so perfect?" She asked him softly.

Max let out a tired little huff of laughter, not bothering to open his eyes. “She is perfect, isn’t she?” he murmured quietly.

Colette felt a smile tugging at her face. “Perfect and absolutely beautiful,” she agreed quietly, shifting a little to get a better look at the two of them. "So perfect it almost hurts to look at her."

Max smiled at her. "I...There is this thing you should know," he said hesitantly.

Something about his tone, the hesitance in his voice, made Colette pause. "What is it?" she asked curiously.

"I may have told the whole world about us? On Instagram?" he admitted with a grimace.

She could only snort at that. "I think your father made sure that that cat was out of the bag," she told him drily. "What did you say?"

"That we have been a couple for 15 years. That I couldn't be happier with you and our little family," he said simply. "I wanted everybody to hear our truth," Max said softly. "Not what other people write."

"There is a romantic inside you after all," Colette teased him softly.

"You aren't angry?" Max checked.

Colette sighed. "Not at you," she said simply. "I can't be angry at you. You just want people to know how happy we are together. We kept it quiet for years for me," Colette said, staring at her daughter. "Is it weird that it feels like she put everything into perspective?" she asked him, nodding towards Charlie. "I just...I don't care anymore,” she admitted.

Max stared at her, blue eyes wide, but Colette just shrugged. “I was terrified for so long what people were going to think about me once they knew about us...but now...I don't care. What does it matter?"

Max reached over and laced his fingers through hers. "It doesn't," he promised her. "I'll start screaming it from the rooftops tomorrow, if you'll let me."

A laugh escaped her before she could stop it. "I think the media already knows," she teased, squeezing his hand. "We can just put my Instagram on public and let them eat their heart out," she suggested. It wasn’t meant seriously. Not really. 

But the more she thought about it, she wondered if that was what it was going to take. Opening up the digital scrapbook of her life. Letting anybody have a peek at their relationship. Hoping that finally they would understand.

"We'd break the internet," Max retorted, grinning at her.

Colette laughed. "We really, really would. Reason enough  to do it?" she teased him.

"And give my PR team a heart attack? Absolutely,” Max returned immediately. “Tell me when.” 

"I love you," she told him seriously. "And I am ready to love you in public too."

She had done it from the shadows for 15 years after all.

He stared at her. "Are...Are you sure?"

"I am very, very sure, mon coeur," Colette told him softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "The only opinion that matters to me is yours - and my family's. I don't care what anyone else thinks," she added, glancing down at Charlie again, who slept blissfully on, cuddled against Max's chest.

"If people want to call me an attention whore or a gold digger, they are welcome to it," Colette said quietly. "I don't care. I'm happy and you're happy and our baby is happy. Let them write whatever they want."

***

"Marry me," Max blurted out.

His words came out of his mouth before he had even realised what he was saying. The room suddenly became very quiet, as if all the oxygen had suddenly been sucked out of it, and Max suddenly realised that he had just blurted out the question he had been meaning to ask for months, at a time that couldn’t be further from ideal.

Colette was staring at him, her eyebrows raised and a look of surprise on her face. She seemed frozen and totally caught off guard by his question. And he didn’t blame her for that. She was exhausted, and had just given birth, and here he was, bombarding her with questions as if this was the perfect moment to do it.

But then she smiled at him. 

"Yes," Colette said simply. "Always yes. You know that.”

Relief surged through him so strongly, Max thought he might just about collapse. She had said yes.

Granted she had said yes the last time as well. 

He remembered that day like it had been yesterday…remembered coming home that May evening in 2016…Fuelled with adrenaline from his first “proper” win. Remembered the trophy that still had a place of pride in their living room…the bottle of champagne, the Pirelli cap…and the ring that he had bought after that race. The celebratory crepes for breakfast the next day where still a tradition they kept with. 

Max felt like he could have exploded there and then, just from happiness. He couldn’t believe that he had just asked her, that she had just said yes. It didn’t feel real. It felt like something out of a dream.

"Yes?" he repeated incredulously, just to make sure he hadn’t actually dreamt it. "You’ll marry me?"

"Properly this time," she teased him, with the most beautiful smile on her face, as she leane up to press a kiss against his lips. “I’ll marry you, Maxie.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing, the sound breathless. It wasn’t just exhaustion that made him sound like that, it was disbelief, a sort of giddy lightness.

"Properly this time," he echoed back to her, his words soft. "You’ll marry me properly."

He couldn’t actually believe she was saying yes. "I do have a ring," he assured her. "It's at home. I hid it in the trophy."

Colette laughed. "Of course, you hid it in the trophy," she repeated, her voice warm and amused."Of course you did."

Max gave her what he hoped was at least a resemblance of a sheepish look. “Where else would it be safe?” he said defensively. "And I know you wouldn't look there," he added.

"A perfect place to hide something you don't want me to find," Colette agreed.

Max grinned at her. "Exactly," he said happily, gently brushing her hair from her face.

"Which trophy?" she asked him seriously.

"Spain 2016," he answered honestly. His first one. The one. 

"You hid it in the 2016 trophy?" Colette repeated, her smile widening into a grin. "Really?"

"Just felt appropriate,” he answered honestly. He still remembered handing it to Colette for the first time, the ring that he had bought clanging around in the bottom of it. 

"It is," she agreed softly, leaning up to press a kiss against his lips.

Max smiled against her mouth, his arms tightening around her, pulling her a little closer. He couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He couldn’t believe he had just blurted out the one question he had been wanting to ask for ages, and she had actually just said yes.

"You’re really going to marry me," he mumbled against her mouth, unable to help the words. "You’re actually going to marry me."

"I had your baby, but this is what shocks you?" Colette asked him with a laugh. 

He laughed, pulling her closer again and nuzzling his face into her shoulder, her words causing him to blush faintly. “I love you,” he mumbled against her skin quietly.

"I love you too," she echoed back quietly. "And yes, I will marry you. As many times as you’ll ask."

"I am the luckiest man in the whole world," he said softly.

"No, I’m the luckiest," she told him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close again. "To have you, and this, and Charlie, and all of it. It’s everything I ever wanted.”

[star--stilinski]

Thoughts on backwards cap Stiles?

It's a pity he never wore it in the serie, because damn what a hottie. I think it would totally give college vibes. I would've asked him out.... where he real (probably not, I don't have the courage but I would pine and crush hard)

big thoughts. lots of thoughts. many thoughts.

first of all, i feel you on the "i would totally ask him out (would stare at him from across the room and then leave when he tries to approach)" because that's me!!!!!

second of all, i honestly think he'd wear it in the awkward grown buzz phase, before his hair is long enough to gel the way he likes. the reason they had dylan wear it was because his hair was too long and they were filming from the time period of i thiiiink season one? not completely sure but it was def one of the buzzcut seasons. so it makes a lot of sense for stiles to be annoyed with his hair and shove a hat on absentmindedly, only to look...

SUPER FUCKABLE!!!!!!!!!!

good.

it gives HUGE college stiles energy, too! i have a fic rec in my inbox thats kinda like.... older boy stiles with an easily flustered reader who's got it so bad for him, and backwards cap stiles is the perfect image for that. it's totally brother's best friend, babysitter (not in a weird way omg), upperclassman, tutor sort of stiles. stiles in a role of authority or something, idk, but i'm WAY into it.

i have this secret little fantasy of writing a fic where backwards cap stiles teaches reader how to do literally anything sexual. whether it be she's never had an orgasm, or had sex, or been eaten out. i see backwards cap stiles like "??? what?? you've never ________ before?? no, no way, gotta teach you." for some reason? idk why i'm spilling my guts but yeah. while i'm at it let me just add he could totally get accidentally dominant. you're running your mouth at him and he's just like so tired has to make sure scott doesn't die and snaps "sit down and watch your goddamn mouth." and oh! heyyy!!! you're a whore btw!

also he seems so protective! like a werewolf fight breaks out and he IMMEDIATELY grabs you and pulls you away, shielding you with his body. or arguing with you "no, you are not getting involved in this. stay here." and always has eyes in the back of his head when you get in danger.

so yeah those are my backwards cap stiles thoughts. welcome to my diary i am so weird.

[lauren-no-why]

Oh fun! Man this post is long haha, took some scrolling to get here. I have only just rolled out of bed, hopefully my answers are coherent.

Last song: Want to be Free, British Sea Power. Looks like I didn't quite get to the end of the album before I put a stop to it so I could focus on something. Let the Dancers Inherit the Party is a fun one. (ALSO SHIT I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A NEW NARCISSIST COOKBOOK ALBUM OUT? HELL YEAH THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING THIS)

Favorite color: Blue, generally, but especially the darker blues toward indigo.

Last book: That I finished? Always Running by Luis Rodriguez. Honestly this is one of the books that should be on those lists of things kids need to read in high school except it keeps getting banned. Extremely influential, so glad I read it. Autobiography of a teen in the Lomas gang in east LA in the late 1960s-early 1970s, who becomes deeply involved in making his community better in the midst of the new Chicano rights movement.

And now I'm back on my usual beloved bullshit with Absolution by Jeff Vandemeer (so glad my held copy finally came in haha I had it on hold since October...)

Last film: Uh... hm. I don't watch a lot of movies. Might have been Late Night with the Devil? Which I recommend but with the caveat that you should pirate it because they used genAI in the movie a couple of times and that was fucking stupid of them and everyone noticed. It's a shame too because if they hadn't I'd be in the "throw money at these people" camp, it's a great little horror film otherwise.

Last show: My beloved PBS SpaceTime. I have a few videos to catch up on. Super excited about the next one about the news that came out recently about the shape of an electron.

Sweet/spicy/savory: They all go together. Gochujang rules. Why would I pick one of my precious best and favorite children?

Relationship status: lmao (always single and loving it)

Last thing I googled: Well now it's the new Narcissist Cookbook album. Because I just woke up and am braindead and googled instead of just going straight to bandcamp.

Current obsession: The World Enders. The Phantom Riders. The Redmayne boys. Just Lord Huron things.

Currently coexisting side by side with how fast my heart was pounding during The Big Final Loop in Outer Wilds, especially That Part With The Teeth but also the whole thing really. That last loop is going to be with me for a while.

tagging: uhhh feel free to ignore but I must pass it along! @long-lost-soul @spectromagic @leucrotta @yarrowace

Ten People I’d Like to Get to Know Better

tagged by: @orphiclovers

last song: It’s all been Christmas retail crap or if you count the radio on the drive home playing Avril Lavigne

fav color: this pale seafoam green for things or white for clothes

last book: Eclipse by Wilder (poetry)

last movie: Deadpool & Wolverine

last show: N/A

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet and savory 

relationship status: 4 people proposed to me this year. 1 meant it fr 🥹 (engaged irl) otherwise I have a harem on AO3 going.

last thing i googled: how big is a wintermelon?

current obsession: cooking and Infinity Nikki

looking forward to: I’m planning a road trip with the girls later this week!!

Tagging: @auuwmk, @ssunfish, @ajhaijma, @stoneclaw, @quiteboared, @kiwiandmint, @dgeneralacc, @rex44201, @readingdreaming4951, @thottykunikida

[jjunbug]

  ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏BETWEEN TWILIGHT SKIES    ╱    SERIES TEASER

in a world that’s on its dying breath, the once green and lush landscapes get buried in more and more layers of ash. the once flourishing streets that were full of magic are now a dull hum. yet, there is still hope—and it lies in the hands of you and kai, the last people to possess magic. suddenly, you remember the story of a forest that watches, and a well of life that lies deep within. you’re determined to save your bleak world in any way that you can, yet, you weren’t expecting to end up in a brand new world entirely.

pairing ⸝⸝ choi yeonjun 𝑥 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, huening kai 𝑥 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𓄵 𝓯eat. ꔛ 𝘧𝘢𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦!𝘵𝘹𝘵 & 𝘰𝘤𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘴

genre ⋆ 📖 ⸝⸝ written series, high fantasy, magic, angst, fluff, smut, faerie prince!yeonjun, sorcerer!kai, sorceress-in-training!reader, marriage of convenience, a lot of yearning and longing (both romantic and platonic)

warnings ⸝⸝ death & decay (of people & animals), violence, depictions of gore, kidnapping, implied bullying, general toxicity, jealousy, gaslighting, possessiveness, and manipulation, toxic environments and parental relationships, abuse 𑁍 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵!

𝓴ipo’s note ⸝⸝ hehe the long awaited super secret wip that i’ve been working on (well… one of them hehe)!!! i hope you’re as excited as i am for it! i thought it was fitting starting this fresh blog off with fantasy, since it’s my favorite genre to write~~ let me know you guys all think!! the series masterlist should be out sometime tomorrow!! hehe, i hope that you enjoy!

͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ❨ 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗰: 1k ❩    ╱    ❨ 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝓶. 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ❩    ╱    ❨ 𝓶. 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ❩ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏  ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏✉️ ⦂ the prologue should be out in a couple days!

𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁! 𝗺𝘆 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩 ����𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱! 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙨, 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙙.

It was hard watching things change in front of your very eyes. It was never the way people described it for you. Not the slow twist of vines along a column or the grass growing taller than a fence—no. It was the whipping of wind across your face. You’d go to wipe your teary eyes and find the sunny and warm scenery was now cold and dead with glittering snow laying everywhere.

You hated it.

You wished that things could stay as they were for as long as they could. You hated watching the faces of people you’ve grown to know dip and sag with age in an instant. You hated watching the life leave their eyes in a quick blink. And you hated how life seemed to go so slow for everyone except for you.

If you could dare to wish for one thing, it would be more time. And in the worst way, you got your wish.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion for once in your entire life. The members of the Collective who were snickering and poking fun at you and Kai jumped into action, spirals of green emerging from their fingertips. More of them piled out from the inn, along with Lamia. You don’t realize that a hand is grabbing your arm and lifting you to your feet before you’re being pushed out of the crossfire.

All you see is green. At least, at first.

Then, splatters of red cover your vision. The screams and cracking of bones fill your ears and bodies fly through the air. Hot tears run down your cheeks and you close your eyes. Then, there is complete and utter silence.

The silence lasts for a moment before all sound comes rushing back to you so fast it felt like your ears were bleeding. There was screaming and crying and more cracking of bones set into place. You opened your eyes to see that the once green pasture you danced in was covered in red—red so dark it was almost black, and disfigured bodies and torn limbs were everywhere.

You didn’t know what else to do, so you ran. Tears blurred your vision, but you didn’t need sight for the place you were running to. You could find it in the dark, bound and soundless, if you had to.

That night still plays endlessly in your head, over and over and over until it’s all you know.

The only thing you did feel—the one thing you found solace in—was the fact that you were all alone. You had no family, which meant you had no one to mourn. You guess some things came with its perks. The place that came closest to what you called home was ash beneath your feet, flying in the wind through your cracked fingertips, like everything else. You felt nothing.

“I thought I told you not to ponder on such trivial things. Any space with a place to lay your head is a home.” Your smile grew when you heard his voice—Kai’s voice.

Kai came to a stop next to you, his frame towering over you and his tongue clicking as he looked down at the poor creature beneath you. It’s small body was clinging onto its last fleeting feeling of life. “A pity,” Kai said, his voice lacking the empathy his words portrayed. He was all too used to the way your world worked—nothing but lost hope and decay. It seemed you still had to learn that. “Best to put it out of its misery. There’s no use letting it live its final moments in pain.”

You couldn’t look at how he gave the creature it’s final blow. The cracking of bones reminded you of that night, and a knife-like chill ran down your spine and you squeezed your eyes shut tighter. There was a hand at your elbow after a moment. “Come,” you heard Kai’s voice say gently. “Let’s get out of here.”

As you both made your journey through the woods and past more and more decay, you couldn’t stop the way your heart pulled for something greater—for a miracle. Your whole body lit up at the feeling and buried deep within your memories, you think you may have found one.

You turned to look over at Kai, noticing the way the ash spiraled off of his worn cloak. “Do you remember that forest I told you about?” you asked him. “The Forest That Watches?”

Kai looked over at you, his hair falling into his eyes. It was a lot longer now than when the two of you had first met, with the majority of it tied back in a bun to keep it out of his face. He quirked an eyebrow, “What about it?” His face then fell. “Don’t tell me this is about that Well of Life or whatever it was called… You do know that’s a myth, right? A legend that the royals started to keep everyone from realizing how the world was dying?”

“What if it’s not?” you pressed. “What if The Forest That Watches is real, and what if the Well is in it?”

“It’s not,” Kai threw back.

You stopped in your tracks, face serious as you stared into his eyes. You place a hand on his bicep. “But what if it is?” you insisted. “Kai… I think… I think I saw it. What if this is the only chance we get to save everything—to restore everything?”

Kai sighed at you, his eyes moving to focus on the ground for a moment. “It’s not,” he said, looking back up at your face. You nearly took a step back from how intense his eyes were. “And there’s no saving us.”

He kept on walking through the forest, ducking under leaves and stepping over fallen logs. You remained rooted to your spot in the dirt, defeated.

SERIES OUT NOW!!!!

[ kipo’s note . . . ] hehe what do you guys think?? are you excited are you excited??? are you as excited as i am for this???? this is just a little taste—a little teeny tiny little sliver, if you will, of what’s to come… so stay tuned for the prologue and chapter one!!! (๐॔˃̶ᗜ˂̶๐॓) i should be getting the series masterlist up tomorrow as well! ~~

𖥦 ﴾ 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗎𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 . . . 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗺.𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 , 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 ﴿ ︵͡   𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (´ε｀ʃƪ)♡

🏷️﹙ 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍? 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 ﹚ @jjunberry @gothgyuu @gyuuberries @hyukascampfire @xylatox @ghstzzn @izzyy-stuff @sunoosgfv @jihyokat @whosserina @jellymochii @innocygnet @sumsumtingz @riribelle @yeoningz @minaateez @beombunni @jiryunn @lvrs-street2mmorrow @everythingvirgoes @beomieeeeeeeeeeees

© jjunbug - all rights reserved. do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

[scariusaquarius]

rehab.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

-

A/n: I couldn't help myself. I really think it would be cool to navigate Bucky's mind within a situation like this, so I really hope that this takes off honestly. I saw another writer on AO3 (@sunny_shadows, PLEASE check out their work, Shattered Under Midnight, it is fucking phenomenal) do story notes and explanations after the chapter, so I wanted to try that out as well! I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

-

Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

-

Author: ScariusAquarius

-

rehab masterlist.

Cryogenic frost was a completely different kind of frost. It was invasive; delving into every crack and crevice that it could; went into every orifice possible until you were cold from deep within. It hit you internally first; freezing your organs and bones first before it began to spread out to the muscles and tendons and fat of the human body.

It was uncomfortable, and when it was time to come out of the pod; the melting frost left behind such uncomfortable feelings that would have you desperately messing with your ears until the melted frost drained.

Don't even get Bucky started on the way his balls felt after.

It was an all-around uncomfortable feeling; disorienting and sickening that Bucky could recall some times when he would be taken out of cryo that he would throw up from the vertigo and aching that would come from deep within.

Even now, he could feel the tresses of nausea poking at his stomach as he stared up at the cryostasis pod that was steaming as it opened.

"You know, I think I vaguely remember telling you that I wasn't the only Winter Soldier...and I thought Zemo had killed the remaining Winter Soldier's back in Siberia."

His tone was annoyed, accusing, and the response that Bucky got back didn't make him feel any better about what his old-time friend was doing.

"Well, it seems Zemo was lying or he just wasn't aware that there were more soldier's within the program."

Steve then sighed as Bucky continued to stare at him, his brow furrowed deeply and making Steve return the look.

"Listen, with HYDRA being gone from these facilities, someone needs to rescue these people and rehabilitate them...just like we did with you."

Bucky's brow creased, and he was unrelenting as he turned to Steve, shaking his head.

"You don't understand. Without a handler, some of them can't be rehabilitated. I've trained these people, Steve, there's no getting through to them."

"We got through to you, didn't we? Besides, it wouldn't be right to leave these people in these pods like this."

Bucky's lips pursed and he spun around to face the cryostasis again, his metal arm whirring as the plates shifted; ready for a fight.

"That was different. You were my friend before everything...these people don't have anybody to bring them back."

Steve was quiet, concentrating on the pod. Slowly, a form began to show; boots, familiar leather pants, the same vest, and the same mask. Bucky couldn't help the tightening in his chest when he realized that the person in the pod wasn't just a Winter Soldier: they seemed to be a young woman; their hair becoming wet as the frost within it began to melt.

Beside the pod was a black book; most likely with notes about who the Soldier was and how to activate them, and Steve asked gently as the Soldier opened their eyes.

"Do we need to use the book?"

"I don't know."

Bucky was taken back by the brilliant (e/c) eyes that flicked to him for a moment before looking straight; and when the woman tried to take a step, they began to crumple to the ground. Steve jumped over the control center to catch them, giving Bucky a slightly miffed look as Bucky's feet stayed planted to the ground.

It was too familiar; too known, and Bucky was uncomfortable. He watched as Steve dragged the woman to a chair and sat her down, asking her.

"Hello, are you alright?"

She was unmoving and unblinking, staring straight ahead like a good soldier should and Bucky swallowed thickly, shaking his head. Steve asked her again, but Bucky shook his head a little more.

"She's not going to answer. You're not her handler."

"Okay, then how do we get through to her?"

Bucky pursed his lips, sighing heavily before he stood in front of the woman.

"укажите свое обозначение."

Her eyes came to life for a moment, glancing up at Bucky with a look that he knew all-too-well before she glanced back down; clenching her jaw.

"Зимний Солдат."

Bucky sighed deeply, rubbing his temples slightly, and Steve just observed, his blue eyes curious as he glanced between the two of them. Bucky then took the black book, noting the way the woman's shoulders seemed to square slightly; muscles in her neck tensing, and Bucky felt sick to his stomach. He handed it to Steve, muttering.

"There might be some information in here about her. If not, we'll look into the files we downloaded...if we have time."

Steve nodded, and Bucky turned to the woman again, asking.

"Что ты помнишь?"

"Невозможно завершить. Для выполнения инструкций необходимы дополнительные разъяснения."

Bucky frowned again, muttering to himself before he asked.

"Что ты помнишь перед тем, как тебя уложили спать?"

Her jaw clenched again, and this time, she seemed hesitant to answer. Her eyes flicked up to Bucky, and he could see the uncomfortable look she was giving him within her eyes. The person that was in there was trying to respond; trying to tell him, but the programming wasn't allowing her to answer. Fear flashed in her eyes from the inability to complete his request, and Bucky could feel his throat trying to close up.

HYDRA was getting better at their programming, it seemed.

"I'm not going to hurt you if you're unable to answer. We are not HYDRA."

Confusion flashed within her eyes though her expression never wavered, and Steve stepped forward.

"We're with the Avengers...do you know who we are?"

"Невозможно завершить. Требуется дополнительная аутентификация."

Steve turned to Bucky and suggested, crossing his arms slightly.

"This might be a job for Shuri. We should contact King T'Challa and set out for Wakanda as soon as possible."

Bucky pursed his lips before he turned to the woman, her fists clenched slightly.

"Следуй за мной, солдат. У меня есть для тебя миссия."

She stood up immediately, her eyes becoming dead again as the programming within her mind forced her to follow the commands of The Winter Soldier.

"Готов соблюдать."

Bucky hated it. He hated this feeling; of being the one on the opposite side of the glass; giving orders and handling. While Bucky had trained many super soldiers before, he wasn't ever a Handler like Brock Rumlow or Alexander Pierce. He was another instrument; another tool that just had higher privileges because of his compliance and performance record.

He had learned early on that resistance was futile and met with much harsher consequences.

No, the Winter Soldier's only purpose was to serve HYDRA and to further their cause. That was all. Anything that didn't involve a mission was null. He, among others like him, were only meant to serve the purpose of HYDRA and HYDRA alone.

But he hadn't activated her nor told her that he was her handler, so why was the soldier complying?

Was it possible that the woman had been frozen long enough that the programming was malfunctioning? Was she just assuming that Bucky was her handler because of his arm?

Or was it possible that she was faking it on pre-existing orders given before she was put under.

Bucky glanced over his shoulder at the soldier, the woman's eyes still just as dead-looking as they had been before; looking straight ahead. For a moment, however, her eyes flicked to his, and Bucky frowned before he turned to Steve, muttering.

"I have a bad feeling about this."

Steve's brow was furrowed, lips slightly pursed as he glanced over at Bucky, worry within his eyes.

"You having a bad feeling is never a great sign."

Bucky almost scoffed, but refrained from doing-so; elaborating on his thoughts about the situation instead.

"I never gave her any indication that I was her handler nor did I activate her. What if she has pre-existing orders?"

Steve frowned, his tone becoming more hushed as he walked a bit closer to Bucky.

"Are you saying that she's a threat?"

"Any Winter Soldier is a threat, but I don't know if she's an active threat or not is the problem. She's blankly following orders...either someone gave her a mission before she was put under or...it's possible she thinks that I am still...with HYDRA. We should be careful."

Steve glanced back behind him to look at the woman before glancing down at the black book within his hands. As the three of them walked to the quinjet, Steve instructed Bucky as he sat down at the controls.

"You go ahead and get her strapped in and call Shuri. I'm going to see if there's anything in here about who she is and where she came from."

Bucky nodded before he turned to the woman who was standing in the middle of the jet; rigid and unmoving. Bucky sighed slightly before instructing.

"Присаживайтесь."

Wordlessly, the soldier sat down, strapping herself into one of the seats, and Bucky took a long glance at her. To a normal; outside perspective, it would look as though she was completely still and robotic. It would seem as though she wasn't even breathing; a blank stare to the opposite wall and deathly still.

However, to a fellow soldier, Bucky could tell that there was something on the woman's mind. The soldier's fists were clenched as they rested upon the top of her thighs, eyebrow furrowed just slightly, and Bucky could tell that her feet were fidgeting inconspicuously.

If Bucky didn't know any better, he'd say that the woman seemed nervous.

But what about?

Bucky wasn't able to ponder the thought any longer. Instead, he simply just looked ahead and began to call Shuri, hoping that this wasn't going to end up in a fight.

~

STORY NOTES: In the beginning, Bucky is remembering what it was like to be put into a cryostasis pod. He recalls that it was uncomfortable and that the frost and ice seem to penetrate every orifice possible, which is extremely uncomfortable when being thawed.

Then, it is revealed that Bucky and Steve Rogers are on a mission to find any remaining super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program that weren't killed by Zemo, which Bucky is apprehensive about but Steve is adamant on doing.

The soldier within the cryostasis pod then awakens after being thawed, seeming to be completely blank. When Steve tries to make contact, the soldier does not respond, leaving Bucky to resort to acting as a Handler, finally getting responses out of the soldier.

While trying to ask the soldier for information, Bucky is unable to get anything useful from the woman. He makes an educated guess that HYDRA had further adapted their programming, making it difficult to make the soldier talk without having to completely activate them.

Steve decides to take a trip to Wakanda to see Shuri and T'Challa so they can rehabilitate the soldier just as they did with Bucky, but Bucky begins to think that the soldier is a threat due to their compliance despite Bucky not activating them nor introducing himself as their handler.

Bucky makes a final observation, noting that the woman seems nervous, though Bucky is unable to figure out what about. He speculates further that there could be foul play, and is unhappy at the possibility of a fight. End Scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

укажите свое обозначение - Indicate/State your Designation

Зимний Солдат - Winter Soldier

Что ты помнишь - What do you remember?

Невозможно завершить. Для выполнения инструкций необходимы дополнительные разъяснения - Unable to complete. Further clarification is required to complete the instructions.

Что ты помнишь перед тем, как тебя уложили спать - What do you remember before you were put to bed/sleep?

Невозможно завершить. Требуется дополнительная аутентификация - Unable to comply. Additional authentication required.

Следуй за мной, солдат. У меня есть для тебя миссия - Follow me, soldier. I have a mission for you.

Готов соблюдать - Ready to comply.

Присаживайтесь - Have a seat.

[macgyvermedical]

I am DYING to know about your vendetta against space blankets

SO glad you asked.

So everyone who has never used one thinks space blankets are the best thing since SAM Splints, right?

They are all WRONG.

See. Picture this: It is 2016. It is April. It is Ohio. It is 39F and Snowing. There is still, tenaciously, snow on the ground from where it had fallen the night before. It is not even damp, but verifiably WET and MUDDY.

I am student-teaching Wilderness First Aid for the last time before I become a real instructor.

I am testing students out by having them rescue me. Which means I am laying on the COLD WET SNOWY MUDDY ground with a fake broken leg and concussion. Which means I am also COLD WET SNOWY AND MUDDY. Just like the ground I am, again, Laying On.

I am wearing a (cold wet snowy muddy) long sleeved t-shirt and jeans.

"You'll be fine" my Instructor Trainer told me. He said: "By now they should know how to rescue you and get you warm super quick."

Spoiler Alert: They didn't.

Every single one of them. LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM came out one at a time and threw a fucking space blanket over me (not under me, or around me) and did exactly zero (0) further temperature management.

If you have never met a space blanket they are the THINNEST piece of plastic and you have to use them in a VERY SPECIFIC way to get ANY benefit from them. THis was not that way.

Half of the space blankets, apparently knowing their uselessness, had the ABSOLUTE GALL to blow away anyway (at which point at least 3 of the students went chasing after them like my life depended on it).

Because, oh yeah. Was also WImDY.

I don't even know who told them about the space blankets because you know what hadn't?

The CLASS.

Because I was there when the other student instructor taught them about hypothermia wraps.

He had even Done a Great Job.

So I thought.

For 4 hours, however, I was trapped in COLD WET SNOWY MUDDY WINDY but wasn't being rescued 14 times in a row into a snuggly hypothermia wrap like I was promised.

And yes, you could probably blame this at least partially on me for not tapping out, but you see I was Committed To The Bit(TM).

I don't think my core temperature has ever been so low in my life (except for the time in 12th grade where I went out in the cold wet snowy windy to do some hypothermia research for a fic- that was also pretty chilly in space blankets' defense).

BUt, that is why I have a personal problemo with space blankets: They suck if you don't use them exactly perfectly and no one knows how to use them exactly perfectly. And we don't teach that because honestly even when you use them perfectly they pretty much suck.

Except if you're using them to be waterproof. I guess they're pretty good at that.

[novella-november]

Are you planning on writing a long series of stories? Got an epic story planned? Heroes saving the day?

Miss long series that had 26 episodes per season that let you gt to know the characters enough to love them and develop them properly?

Learn how and when to *lower the stakes*.

Obviously, this tip does not work for every type of story out there, but it helps for a *lot* of them.

If you are constantly giving your characters Bigger and Badder Big Bads, and having your characters succeed each and every time 'against all odds', if you are constantly upping the ante and the adrenaline, and you don't have any kind of relief because every successful defeat of a villain is just used to bring in a new even worse villain?

Your readers are going to stop being in suspense and start growing very, very exasperated, and worse, *bored*.

If your stakes are too high for too long, and especially if your characters always succeed, your readers are not going to be in suspense or fear for your characters after you reach a tipping point, where that suspense is too much and overcomes *your reader's suspense of disbelief.*

If you spend 500 pages ramping up the tension one twist after another, one disaster after the other, one slavering monster after the other, and you never ever ever stop..... your readers are going to get exhausted, and they're going to get bored. Especially if every time you raise the stakes impossibly higher, nothing of real impact actually scales up to meaningfully hurt the characters.

You're going to go from readers thinking:

(book one, genuine) "Oh no! Werewolves have broken down the door and are going to eat the main characters!! How are they going to get out of this!?" (genuine)

to

(Book seven, Sarcastic) "Oh no. Super Mega Ultra Deadly Werewolves have broken down the 100-foot thick bunker door to infect the main characters and make them cannibalize and murder their friends alive. How ever are they going to get out of this one? (turns a page) Oh look, a deus ex machina. who could have forseen that." (turns another page. finds another Even Higher Stakes Fight) "Why am I still reading this."

If you want to keep your readers interested, you can't just drag them along with unending action, you have *got* to give us time and space to get to know the characters when they're not in life and death situations.

Give us fluff!

Give us characters patching each other up after the latest fight.

Give us characters gathering ingredients for their friend's favorite food while they're recovering from an injury on the road.

Give us characters coming across an old person on the side of the road and just helping out, giving them company, and hearing some tales of the world from before for no reason other than it is a kindness.

Give us your characters coming to a new city during a festival and actually exploring it, trying new foods, learning more about the local traditions and maybe realizing how much time has passed while they've been traveling without a calendar or way to keep track of time passing.

Just. Give us something more than endless, breathless horror and rising stakes. To have successful, sustained suspense, you have to give your characters and thus, your readers readers, time to breath.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

AITA for wanting my crush's attention?

I'm not the asshole but everyone insists I am so here we go, I guess. So I (25M) have had a crush on my teacher (40s? M) ever since I was 14 - he's the kindest, gentlest and most intelligent man i have ever met in my life, so of course I have a crush on him (everyone does!). He's as close to perfection as anyone can get without being a deity, so elegant and poised that even just being around him is enough to make anyone's heart soar.

Don't even get me started on his looks, he's absolutely ethereal, I don't think there are enough words, least of all accurate, to describe just how his eyes glimmer, like ripples of water illuminated by the sun, the softness of his hair that puts the finest silks to shame, the radiance of his kind smile that feels not unlike the feather-like touch of a loving mother... in other words, he is the epitome of beauty. I could stare at him for the rest of my life and I would need nothing else.

Anyway, some things happened, we had a falling out (well, I was the one that fell) but that's not the point. The point is that everyone is super obsessed with him and he's paying attention to them all, and a lot too. It's crazy because these people clearly don't appreciate him like he deserves, so I don't see the point in giving them so much of his time.

This really got on my nerves a lot and I grew tired of fighting for his affection - like anyone would! So my judgement got a bit cloudy, that's normal, I felt abandoned!

To make a long story short I almost blew up the world. AITA?

[themeraldee]

Sometimes I get sad because I feel like people always forget the best part of homelander….

His uncontrolled lasers when he….arrives!!!

Hahahah, I assume it's not an everytime thing and more of a 'all my thoughts and emotions are swirling and I'm kinda losing control' thing. However I am also guilty of not mentioning it. For some reason I don't mention a particular quirk of his until I've already explored it in a stand-alone fic. This is definitely one of them! It's a weird approach I guess but I guess it gives me time to explore one thing at a time.

For example I rareeeely have him undressed in fics because I have a fic planned for that topic specifically. Sorry off topic really!

But yeah I can't imagine how freaked out one would get. All that pleasure and release, all soft and relaxed just to get the immediate worry and anxiety in your gut, freaking out to see his eyes blaze red. I'd be asking for an orgasm refund, demanding a do-over lmao.

Like warn a girl y'know?

You know what, I want more of his powers to misbehave when he climaxes. He should be unconsciously hovering above the bed with you on top. His senses going super crazy or super subdued so he's totally in his own head. Ripping the sheets in half or something. I love when he loses his meticulous control and breaks things (as long as it's not bones) it's just such a fun visual of what damage he could easily inflict.

[tokidokitokyo]

明けましておめでとうございます。今年も宜しくお願いします。

Happy New Year! Thank you for your continued support this year.

This is the traditional New Year's greeting in Japan (formal). If you'd like to be less formal, you can just say

明けましておめでとう！今年もよろしく！

And with your close friends, to be even less formal (because Japanese people love to say things in shortened format):

あけおめ！ことよろ！

The year is new and I think we're all motivated to study Japanese more than ever. Have you set your goals for the new year already? I haven't yet (that's what this post is for) but I like to wait until the year has turned and then come up with my goals. Usually because I'm continually running around up until the New Year, so I don't have time to sit down and put my goals into writing until the new year has already come.

This year I'd like to set out some general goals, as well as small goals I'd like to make into daily habits (along with the daily habits I already have). This will be a long post, so read as much or as little as you like! 2025 Goals below the cut!

Past Goals from: 2020 | 2021 (no post) | 2022 | 2023 | 2024

Tips for Setting Goals

Some things I've learned from the past 4+ years of setting Japanese language study goals that might help you too:

Be realistic: It's great to say you will memorize 10 kanji a day every day for 365 days, but is it realistic? Will you do it every day for a year? What if you get burned out in February? Will you be able to come back to it in March? I know the extent of my free time and my own ability to be consistent, and I try to be realistic for my own sake. If I make a goal more flexible, like memorize 10 kanji a week instead of daily, it gives me more leeway to take a day off here and there, and to recover from burn out when it happens.

The goals you set are flexible: Rigidly adhering to your goals doesn't help you and it really doesn't make a difference to anyone else but you (I speak from experience). Set goals you think you can accomplish, then change them if they aren't what you need. They aren't set in stone, and they can be changed as often as you want. No one will think anything of you for changing them, and being kind to yourself is a good thing.

Be broad when setting long term goals, but remember why you want to set those goals: "I want to be fluent in Japanese" is a good many-year long-term goal, but how you get there is something that can be made into short-term goals. Do you want to improve the number of vocabulary words you know? Kanji recognition ability? Listening in conversation or anime? Maybe a better long-term goal might be "I want to improve my conversational listening ability in Japanese," and then you can create attainable short-term goals from there.

Goals aren't for everyone: Maybe you don't need goals for 2025? Or to post them publicly? I set goals because I am that kind of person who likes to look back and to track my progress. And I feel like posting publicly holds me accountable (before I go ahead and meet none of my goals). But maybe goal setting isn't for you! If you want to study for the JLPT because of work-related needs or bragging rights, maybe just setting up a study schedule using one or more of the study textbooks for the JLPT is enough. Or if you are just learning Japanese to learn Japanese, maybe just continually watching anime or chatting with people on HelloTalk is enough for you. Do you need goals to motivate you? Keep your goals super realistic. Do you just want to track your progress? Make a spreadsheet or get one of the many tracking apps. Goals aren't for everyone, and in the end they really only matter to you.

Without further ado, my goals...

Daily Goals 2025

In 2024 I had a set of daily habits that I did a very good job of keeping up. Some days it was harder to fit in everything than others, but having a set of daily goals and a small minimum time commitment (10 minutes) helped me to maintain my study momentum, even if sometimes I had less motivation. After all, the key to progress in Japanese is using it every day.

Daily Habits from 2024 (that I'd like to continue)

Study Japanese for at least 10 minutes a day

Read something in Japanese every day

Speak Japanese daily

Listen to/watch something in Japanese every day

New Daily Habits for 2025 (that I'd like to add)

Learn 1 vocabulary word daily

Learn 1 kanji daily

Write one sentence daily

Weekly Goals 2025

I didn't consciously follow a lot of weekly habits in 2024, but I'd like to be more mindful of incorporating certain aspects of study on a weekly basis.

New Weekly Habits for 2025

Study one N3/N2 grammar point weekly

Listen to one podcast weekly

Watch one TV show episode/movie/YouTube video weekly

Write on HelloTalk once a week

2025 Goals

These are my more general goals for the entire year and what I want to accomplish by the end of 2025.

Finish 総まとめ N2 (Sou-matome N2) workbooks: I started these workbooks last year but never got into a routine with them. This year I'd like to complete them.

Read 3 Japanese novels level N3 or N2: I will use Natively to help me to find books that sound interesting and match the level at which I'd like to read.

Work through the 漢字検定ステップ6 (Kanji Kentei level 6) book: I have had this book forever but stopped using it seriously a few years ago.

Read 3 Japanese textbooks from the Libby Japan Foundation LA Library: I found some Japanese textbook study type books for Japanese learners and some for Japanese elementary school students on the Libby Japanese Library (needs a US phone number), and I'd like to read at least three of these.

Consistently watch one Japanese drama: In 2024, I watched the NHK Taiga Drama Hikaru Kimi e (光る君へ) every week, and although they used old Japanese, poetic Japanese, and lots of ancient government-related vocabulary that took me time to pick up, the consistency of watching the drama every week (and knowledge of Murasaki Shikibu's life) helped me to understand the drama without subtitles (JP or EN). I'd like to pick a new drama for 2025 (even if it's not year-long) and keep up with it.

Thanks for sticking with me! I hope your studies in 2025 will be productive and fun! If any of this helped you, great! And if it didn't, that's ok too. Whether you set goals or not, remember to be kind to yourself this year. And if you have set goals, let me know your number 1 goal (I'm actually really interested to see what everyone's goals are!).

素敵な一年になりますように！

Wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

[zombeebunnie]

Happy New year: Future plans regarding Trembling Essence!

Hello guys, hope you all are having a wholesome happy new year so far! I want to start things fresh so here's what to expect:

Here's a TLDR if you want an easy summary: Game updates might be every two weeks - one month, the script for the game is being updated which includes removing some scrapped content to make sure the overall story gets a better opportunity to shine. I am also working on updating ko-fi/patreon + commissions.

Updates regarding Trembling Essence:

Game development posts: I enjoyed uploading weekly* updates during 2023/2024 but starting this year, I no longer have that much free time anymore. Depending on how everything goes updates might(?) be every two weeks to possibly 1 month(???). In lighter news it'll give myself time to process the script, answer asks, and miscellaneous things to avoid burn-out. :,] Script fixing: When I originally created this in January 2023, I was going for a survival horror-game. The 2023 demo isn't canon and I stopped referencing it since March/April 2023. Now that it has both horror and dating-sim elements I'm going over certain sections/new concepts and slowly adjusting them. The original lore isn't being changed but will be updated over time with my improved writing style and overall story telling. This also includes all the routes/paths that weren't in the [Extended Demo]. Scrapped content: I was extremely new to everything and when genuine interest was shown in what I've been creating, I got very ambitious . ((Those that have been here since the early days probably remember that one post I made about writing over 10+ routes.:,]))Now that I'm getting a better idea of what I truly want for the game, some content moving forward will be cut to make sure the true story gets a better opportunity to shine. :]

Other things that will be updated within the game:

UI/GUI update - I want to give the game a more distinctive theme. :]

CG update - Specifically fixing old art from the [Extended Demo].

Art Gallery - For CG collecting, future easter eggs etc.

Route update - Fixing paths and keeping them balanced.

Ending's update - Fixing endings to line up with new/changed content.

Kofi / Patreon: I talked about wanting to create a Patreon a long time ago and I really would like to create a monthly-tip jar / possible game credit perk for those that would like to support the development of the game, this is still a work in progress though. And speaking of Ko-fi, I had been asked about doing commissions in the past and I wasn't ready to accept any but I hope to take in a few to help out behind the scenes especially since the battery to my computer is still dead and I don't want to risk losing game progress again from it randomly shorting out like before. :,]

Sneak peak into next week's game development post:

I wanted to keep the development post separate from this so it wouldn't make this post super long but here's a vague look into how things being updated behind the scenes! :]

This is all I have to share so far, thank you guys for all of the continued support throughout 2024! I hope 2025 will be just as great if not better! :,D

[fl0ralsxgar]

Okay... So im going to make one post about this and one post only.

Ive been having issues in this community because of who i self ship with, thats a very vague way of putting it. Ive been made aware of a situation directly that has both equally caused me to get hate and ive noticed some mutuals of mine ignoring me more ever since it started. Under the cut since this is a long post

Okay just to start off first; clearly this must be a burner or something because going to this account directly, its the default tumblr blog theme with no posts or edited bio or anything. Im not going to respond to hate asks anymore, okay? I shouldnt in the first place but usually i tried to address them just a little, mostly wanting to understand why i was being sent it in the first place, my fault. But still. (I still blocked out the user just in case) just to note, this is not the only hate ive been sent in asks lately. I had to cut anon off again. But ig people will still find workarounds.

Okay. I DO NOT. want to cause ANY discomfort, jealousy, negative feelings, etc, just because of who i self ship with. Im sorry its made people uncomfortable because they share the same f/o but i do what i can to ensure they dont see me. I use the same exact tag on my self ship art and gushes and whatever, i dont interact with them, i have them BLOCKED or vice versa, hell i even try to not interact with their mutuals unless if weve already established being mutuals. I even have directly said- if anyone who follows me is mutuals with someone else who is uncomfortable with people interacting with me (or other daisuke self shippers in general) then you dont need to interact with me, because above all else im TRYING to consider the comfort of other people. I have never once tried to make people forcibly side with me, i have never said anyone else is invalid because of their self ship, i have never wanted anyone to be excluded and even, i encourage people to be mutuals with other daisuke self shippers as i can block said daisuke self shippers and they can be given my tag if need be because everyone deserves support. This has been going on for longer than it needs to tbh, i kept thinking i was the issue, i wanted to leave, but now im just .. upset. Whether its all from the same person or not, idk. But please know that above all else causing anyone to feel negatively because of me has never been my intention. Ive been extremely stressed out over this, feeling guilty and horrible, and sometimes aggravated.

Dont vague post about me if you know your followers and mutuals know who youre referring to. And even then, dont do it without first explicitly making it known that you dont condone hate being sent, but ultimately even if you do say that it wont always stop people. Please stop sending me asks trying to invalidate my self ship when ive never done that to anyone else. If youre mutuals with someone who is not okay with you interacting with me then respect those boundaries, because i am super tired of having to deal with the backlash of things im not even trying to cause. I want everyone to be comfortable, i want everyone to feel safe in their own space. But also i dont even feel comfortable in my own space now. I really dont wanna leave the community again tbh, ive made some close mutuals, i love supporting people, i love making my own self ship art and sharing it. But man, im tired!

Ive tried SO hard to keep this in private. I wanted it to be resolved without public notice. But even after i thought it was settled and resolved it hasnt stopped, and i dont even know if its from various people or not. Only very few people know more deeply whats been going on, and i hate that they were affected because of it too in ways. Whatever is going, just, i want it to chill out. Really. I have no ill will for anyone. If you see this and youre someone who has an issue with me you can dm me, ill talk it out with you.

I truly hope none of this comes off wrong, or aggressive or anything. I mean everything with as much respect as i can considering my current state. No matter what i dont condone harassment. I dont want anyone to be excluded. I want everyone to be supported and happy in their space. So please just know that, and if anything has come off wrong let me know. Maybe, im just not thinking the clearest so some things might seem rude or something. Forgive me if that the case.

Theres been ALOT going on the self ship community and i hope everyone will be okay. Dont worry about this if its too stressful, but if youre someone whose involved in this, i want to work things out. So. Thanks for reading if you did. Take care

[unhinged-simp]

Hii! Can i please request a yandere Vagastrom x reader with soulmate au? :DD

I just think yan and soulmate au is such a yummy idea, and Vagastrom is my personal favorite ^^

Yandere Soulmate AU! Vagastorm

I am so sorry this took so long to come out. This has been in draft hell, waiting for me to finish it. Thank you so much for requesting, and for your patience. I hope you enjoy!

Alan: initials on your palm

A. M, those were the letters engraved into your palm and in your mind.

There was not a day where you didn’t stare at them.

You would check every person who had the same initials, but you never had the luck.

However, when you were assigned to Vagastorm, you met the one.

And thus, you started dating.

But sometimes the way Alan acted bothered you.

He was super protective of you. He’d always be with you when he could be.

Always by your side, or in front of you, and sometimes even behind you.

You would notice he would send quick glares at anyone who stared at you.

Then there were the times where he was calm, rubbing the letters on your palm with a smile on his face.

He’d sometimes bite into your hand, not hard, but enough to leave a mark. Afterwards he’d apologize and say that he didn’t know why he did that.

He’ll ask you to help him get to his classes so he won’t get lost.

You would notice people avoiding you, and people who were mean to you would disappear.

At this point no one knows where they went, not even Darkwick

Leo: Marks appearing after your soulmate touches you

Leo was annoying to you at first.

He was very hansy and affectionate, making it hard for you to do things.

He’d ask you to sleep in his bed, so he can hold you close.

He loves the marks that appear when he touches you, they’re usually shaped like handprints.

He bites you, usually over the marks he leaves with his touch

He brags a lot about you, though it’s often intertwined with his usual mean remarks.

He calls you dummy sometimes, but he’s quick to say that you’re his dummy.

He shows you off on tiktok, but never reveals who you are, you’re only his after all.

He does let you be on your own, but he is always listening to you.

Sho: Letter detailing how you meet and the same mark on your hand

Unlike Alan and Leo, Sho is more chill with letting you interact with others.

Of course, he’d prefer to be there as well when you hang out with your friends.

He always has a tracker on you, in case he needs to check where you are.

He’s more into giving you items and jewelry to wear, then to leave marks.

If he sees you wearing something that isn’t what he gave you, he will look at you like you’re a traitor.

Same if you eat something that isn’t from him.

Sho will start wear his gloves less, so he can see the mark that he has and think more of you.

When you two cuddle, he holds your hand to see the marks match with each other.

His lockscreen is probably the matching marks, and his homescreen is you