#Oh no! I used the word 'woke'! Guess I should be flown into the sun now or whatever ... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sophiethewitch1 · 4 years ago

Text

Meteoric Chapter 1 - A New Life, A New Me!

Death should be simple, you think.. You die, and that's it. However, considering how much pain and nausea you feel at the moment, you can guess that it’s not actually that simple. Your eyes open slightly, the bright light blinding you.

So, wait… what happened after death then?

Your eyes finally adjust to the bright light, and you realise you’re lying on your back staring up at a white-haired toddler.

Hold on… it’s… flying? It’s flying. What the hell.

You blink up at the floating thing in front of you, shock evident on your face. It's… It’s floating. You don’t think you can understate that this small child is floating. It’s floating. FLOATING! It frowns at you, and you think it calls out to you, but you’re too busy turning onto your side and throwing up absolutely nothing but water because god wants you to suffer. Did you drown? Who knows.

...Okay so heaven has been ruled out, not much surprise there.

The thing cries out in shock, moving closer to you patting you on the back and moving your hair out of your view. Finally, you stop retching up, breathing heavily and coughing the l. You roll away from the toddler and are shocked by the view in front of you. You’re at the beach. Maybe you did survive, you think looking at the cliffs and the ocean in front of you. Did you get swept away by the ocean to some strange land?

You turn back to look at the floating thing and realise, yup they are most definitely defying gravity.

What the hell is going on.

You then notice something incredibly strange.

It’s… Paimon.

Paimon? Paimon. That is most definitely Paimon. From the halo to the cape to the little star clip in her hair, everything about it is most definitely Paimon.

What the actual hell.

“Aether! She’s woken up!” it says in a voice that sounds absolutely like Paimon.

You think you’re going to pass out.

“Really? About time,” you turn your head to look at the voice and you shouldn’t be surprised really, but right there is definitely the male MC from Genshin. The same long blond hair in a neat braid.

And that’s when you finally recognise your surroundings.

You… are in Monstadt. Specifically, the starting beach where the game begins the tutorial. You look past the beach and squint, barely able to make out the silhouette of the secret island you spent thirty minutes trying to get to with Kaeya since you fell and drowned at one point.

Damn you really wish you got Venti, you could’ve just flown there if you had.

Wait…

Is Venti… real?

You look back at Aether and Paimon, eyes wide. You played with Lumine so you didn’t often get to see Aether but you knew what he looked like from online. You knew it was him, and yet…

You couldn’t quite believe it.

“Aether… Paimon?” the words come out of your mouth unprompted and you wince, realising that there's no real way you should know their names.

They blink, shocked like you expected they would be, and glance at each other. You notice the familiarity in that action and remember at this point they’ve been adventuring together for at least two months now.

“How long… have I been asleep?” you ask, your voice is quiet and hoarse from your coughing. And there was a salty taste at the back of your throat too, likely from the water. You really must’ve drowned then.

You think you really did die.

Paimon hesitates for only a second before speaking.

“We don’t know! Aether saw a shooting star fall near here and we came to investigate… and we found you in the water! Thought you were dead but we checked your pulse and found it still beating. And then you woke up and coughed up all that seawater!” she says, her hands clasped behind her back and her whole body tilted to the side slightly.

You look to the side, quiet. You don’t know what to say. You were a talkative person when you felt comfortable, and right now you were definitely out of your comfort zone.

Silence.

“...How did you know our names?” Aether asks, breaking the fragile quiet, and you want to sigh in relief. That is until you realise what he asked and freeze, not knowing how to answer him.

You continue to look off into the distance, the midday sun sitting above the calm waters of Monstadt.

“...Well then! Paimon thinks we should be headed off, we should get you to a doctor too! Let’s get going!” she says, pointing towards the edge of the beach where a teleport beacon sits. You get up, brushing the sand off you and are shocked when you stumble forward slightly.

Aether moves forward to help you, grabbing your arm and stopping you from tipping over, you laugh and he looks at you weirdly. You felt dizzy, like the air was lighter here... like you were lighter. You couldn’t tell if you liked it or not, but you did know it was strange.

You were starting to realise you were actually in a different world.

You shake your head, your laughter tapering off.

“Are you alright?” Aether asks, and you look up to him.

He was slightly taller than you, which was strange because in your last life you were definitely not near the same height as Aether was, he seemed way shorter than you. Once again, it’d make sense since this is a different world.

Whatever, you could process this all later, for now, you just wanted to find somewhere safe to cry.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m perfectly fine,” you lie through your teeth, and you think he can tell. You pull away from him, and he lets go without any hesitation.

This was all so strange.

Paimon calls the two of you over to the beacon, and you approach it with awe. Aether reaches a hand towards the stone and it turns from red to blue, a symbol of its activation.

You find it’s familiar blue glow somehow surprising you. It really shouldn’t, since it is such a common sight in the game but… it’s floating too. You come to realise physics should stop being a top priority of yours here. If any of this is actually real.

Hm. Maybe you were dreaming? You heard that there was this theory about after your death where you would dream for the few milliseconds before your brain completely shut down.

Well, it made more sense than being reincarnated into a video game…

You follow the two of them passed the point and reach the cliff, Paimon says something about having to climb it, and Aether scales the small stone wall easily. You stare at it. You’d done indoor rock climbing before, but they all had obvious and brightly coloured hand-holds. Your eyes move up from the wall to Aether and Paimon staring expectantly down at you.

Well, here goes nothing.

You jump up, grabbing onto the edge of the stone, pulling yourself up. Luckily the wall is angled slightly away from you, so it’s easy to get your weight up by leaning on it. You pull yourself up again, moving your feet up until you finally grab Aether’s waiting hand and pull yourself up.

“Wow, you’re not much of a traveller are you? Not too fast with climbing,” Paimon says, and you have the urge to punch her out of the sky.

But all you do is awkwardly laugh, and rub the back of your neck. Whatever, emergency food, neither of us are the star of this show and you know it.

Aether ignores the two of you and keeps walking on, stoic and cool, which was unlike what you expected. When you played Lumine she was an absolute mess, and you thought there wasn’t any difference in their characters, but this wasn’t the game, so it made sense. It was either a very strange ‘life-flashes-before-your-eyes’ moment or reincarnation.

You didn’t like either option, to be honest.

“Okay, let’s take the route we planned!” Paimon says, floating past you quickly towards Aether, “We’re off to… a statue of the Seven! Which of the Seven are you looking for, exactly?”

It is very surreal to hear her dialogue lines in real life.

Aether keeps walking along, paying no attention to the beautiful scenery around you. You, however, are staring in complete awe at the gorgeous greenery and cliff faces surrounding you, you even spot a waterfall!

Striding purposefully along, you can barely keep up with him. Evidently, he wasn’t a ‘stop and smell the flowers’ type like you were, so you run to catch up with him.

“Oh wowwww!” Paimon coos, and you can’t help but agree with her. In front of you is a gorgeous view, the cliffs at the side of your gaze moving your eyes naturally to its centre where a lake sits, a statue of The Seven in the centre of it. In the background, you can barely make out Monstadt, with it’s Church and windmills. Some birds fly across the canyon, adding to the wild beauty of the place.

Wide-eyed, you stare.

Yeah, this might just be real.

“That’s the statue of the Seven!” Paimon points down at the statue, a beacon of light piercing the sky. She drops her hand, “There are a few of these statues across the land to show The Seven’s protection over the world. Among the seven gods, this god controls the wind. Paimon’s not sure whether the god you’re looking for is the Anemo God, but…”

She clasps her hands behind her back, looking worryingly at Aether.

“Paimon’ll take you to the Anemo God first and there’s a reason why~”

You can’t remember what the reason is, so you just nod along. Not adding anything to the conversation, not that Aether was either.

“Let’s go,” he says, which you find hilarious. A true silent protagonist, all stoic and mysterious… You really couldn’t take him seriously. He starts running down the mountain, and you follow after him as fast as you can.

“As we all know, poetry and language flow like the wind…” you always loved that part of Anemo, you were a hopeless romantic so such a lovely element had your heart quite quickly simply because of that. It was the element of freedom, and you always wanted to be a free soul.

“There’ll definitely be someone there who knows about your sister. At least, that’s what Paimon thinks! Whether the Gods actually answer you is a different story. You never know unless you try,” she turns to look at you, floating next to the two of you running down the hill.

“And there will definitely be someone here who can check up on you! You’ll be in good care!”

You smile at her, a little wobbly since you were still running along at a speed you were definitely not used to.

“Thank you,” you say, almost tripping over a rock on your way down.

She nods at you, a closed-eyed smile on her face.

“So let’s hop to it!”

You finally get down to the little lake and Aether doesn’t even hesitate before diving into the water after Paimon. You scowl, following through with them. You notice you’re still wearing your camping gear, if not a little more worn and torn. Oh, does that mean…? You wiggle your finger in your pocket and frown when you find the hole still there.

Whatever, keep going.

You move forward, wading through the water, and swimming the small distance to the island. You get out of the water, sopping wet and grumpy, but your mood quickly changes when you look up at the Anemo Archon’s statue in front of you.

It feels like it’s… calling to you.

Aether steps forward and lays a gloved palm upon the golden insignia at its base, turning the glowing light from faintly yellow to a brilliant aqua. Your eyes follow the aqua light until you focus on how its forms in the Barbatos statues hands. The light grows brighter and brighter, till an anemoculus pops out and floats down into Aether’s chest. The ghostly symbol of Anemo fading away and being absorbed into the boy's form.

He looks around, eyes curious and open. It’s kind’ve adorable.

He lifts a hand up to grab a wisp of light but it’s gone by the time he opens his hand.

“Ooh! Did you just feel the elements of the world? Seems all you had to do was just touch the statue to get the power of Anemo!” Paimon says, holding her chin in the ‘I’m-thinking’ pose.

You take a step towards the statue, the words of the two behind you starting to drown out. You can hear something, it almost sounds like… a violin? No… a lyre.

A flash of Venti appears in your brain and the hand hovering above the statue freezes. You turn to look at Aether. If he can get his powers due to being an Outlander, wouldn’t that mean…

You step back from the statue.

You almost hear it whining out your name, which is incredibly silly. It’s just a statue, a statue of immense power, but a statue nonetheless. It can’t yearn, and certainly not for you.

Another step backwards, and that tugging feeling in your chest disappears. You can’t stop thinking about the statue, so you focus on Aether and Paimon calling you across the water. You swim through it again, not worrying about your wet clothes this time.

You follow them, watching Aether use his new powers, the obvious wonder painting your face. Magic… he’s got magic. Watching the wind release from his hands and sword in controlled blasts is surprisingly the first thing about this endeavour that made you happy.

You’d always loved magic, you’d gotten involved in earth’s version of it, but you could never do anything like this… He aims a blast at another slime and then swiftly cuts it in two, and you smile.

“So she can actually smile,” Paimon says, crossing her arms and smirking at you.

Your smile quickly turns into a frown.

“I’ve smiled at you…” you say, staring at her. Your voice hurts a little less than earlier, which is a relief. No permanent damage to be seen, it seems.

She rolls her eyes and places her tiny hands on her hips.

“A real smile, silly! Not one of your sarcastic laughs either! I seriously thought you were a huge debbie-downer!”

You laugh and Paimon grins in triumph. She didn’t know what was wrong with you, but she knew something had happened. She wanted to help.

A growl sounds from above you and a giant shadow swiftly passes over your head. Your eyes snap up, and to your never-ending shock, a familiar blue dragon flies past. You barely get a glimpse, but you see it’s gorgeous butterfly patterned wings and it’s long elegant tail soar over the canyon. Both Aether and Paimon gawk up at it as well, and Paimon says-

“Wow! What is that?!”

Dvalin. It’s the legendary dragon Dvalin.

“There’s something huge! In the sky! It’s headed towards the heart of the forest. We must proceed with caution,” she warns, and you follow after the path Aether leads, your eyes still flickering up to the sky.

You’d be meeting the dragon soon.

And a certain mischievous God too.

Well, this was going to be a long day…

Unknown to you, a power simmered. Rejected and angry, it’s strength gathered, hoping to lure it’s chosen closer. It is determined, all for it’s beloved.

A statue along the coast begins to crack.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #anime x reader #multichapter #fem reader #female reader

107 notes · View notes

romansleftshoulderpad · 5 years ago

Text

Take A Chance On Me

Ship: Royality

Word Count: 3,127

Warnings: Mentions of being horny, breakups

If you change your mind, I’m the first in line. Honey, I’m still free. Take a chance on me.

Patton had never been one for sunbathing, but he was rather inclined towards any activity that involved Roman. The warmth was like a blanket, keeping him cozy and safe (though Logan would warn quite the opposite, going on a lecture about the dangers of overexposure to ultraviolet rays). Patton was with Roman, that was safe enough for him.

“He just wasn’t my style, I guess,” Roman said, continuing on his rant. Patton was trying to listen, but the sun was putting him to sleep. He wondered if Roman would have to wake him with a kiss.

“What is your style?” Patton teased. “A knight in shining armor?”

“Hey, knights have to be strong under that armor. If a buff strong man wants to suplex me then he can go for it.”

“What if he has a frog face?”

Roman thought for a moment. “I can live with that. If he keeps his helmet on.”

Patton laughed, which made Roman laugh, which only made Patton laugh even harder. He moved his hand, letting it brush up against Roman’s. He wanted to grab his hand. He wanted to take his face and kiss him senselessly.

But the timing wasn’t right.

“Carlos sucks.”

Roman shrugged. “He’s fine. I don’t regret dating him or anything. I think it could’ve worked out if things were different.”

“Things?”

“If we were a year younger. If I didn’t know what I know now.”

“And what do you know now?”

Roman moved his hands to his chest- away from Patton- and looked to the sky. He didn’t answer, but Patton could hear him humming under his breath. It was a song he recognized from Into the Woods but he couldn’t think of a title. The two went back to cloud gazing and laid in silence. He closed his eyes, tucked under the warm blanket of sunlight, and tried to fall asleep.

If you need me, let me know, gonna be around

Roman and Patton had been friends for longer than either of them could remember. But what Patton does remember is years of movie marathons and blanket forts with a projector turning the ceiling into the galaxy. He remembers losing a tooth when they were ten and Roman pulling one of his own out in solidarity. He remembers that wasn’t a pretty picture.

He remembers being thirteen. He remembers clearing “Am I Gay quiz” from his search history time and time again. He remembers watching his friends start dating. He remembers thinking of Roman.

Roman was someone Patton always considered fortunate. Roman never had to come out, no one ever expected him to be one thing or another. Patton remembered when they were twelve and Roman told him about how he learned how to kiss in a game of spin the bottle.

Patton remembers feeling jealous. Not of Roman, but of those who had the honor of kissing someone so carefree.

The honor of kissing Roman so carefree.

He remembers being thirteen and laying by Roman’s side as Dumbo played on screen. He wasn’t watching, there wasn’t any point.

“Roman,” he whispered, “when did you know?”

Roman glanced at him in confusion. There wasn’t much light, but his braces shined from the television screen. “How did I know-“ Patton turned away. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, hey,” Roman whispered. He grabbed the remote and hit mute, giving them a moment of privacy. “You don’t, really. You just find someone attractive- and sometimes you don’t even know what that means- and you just... figure it out.”

“That sounds so simple but-“

“It’s not,” Roman sighed. “It’s not simple. But you’ll figure it out, okay?” Patton didn’t look convinced. “You have a whole lifetime to figure yourself out.”

Patton grabbed the remote, turning the volume back on and making it just louder than comfortable. “Thanks, Roman.”

If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down

He can still remember being angry, boiling with rage just after homecoming. He found Roman crying in the school parking lot. There was still an hour left of the dance.

“Roman?” he whispered.

“P- Patton, I- What are you doing here?”

“Roman, I’m here. What happened?”

Roman wiped at his eyes, stepping back into the shadows to try to hide. Nevertheless Patton knew that his cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were red with pain. “He broke up with me,” he whispered. “At homecoming, of all things!”

“He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve you,” Patton said. “Can I hug you?”

Roman gave a weak nod and let himself fall into Patton’s arms. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to see me like that.”

“Roman, please, don’t apologize for feeling.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, listen to me,” Patton said. “My date and I were going to go get ice cream. You should come, I think it’ll help.”

“I’m not going to third wheel on your date.”

“Oh, no, we’re just here as friends.”

“Still-“

“You need friends right now.”

“Okay,” Roman sighed. “Okay.”

Patton smiled and took his hand, walking him through the parking lot towards the only lit car around. “Roman, I want you to meet Logan.”

If you’re all alone, when the pretty birds have flown Honey, I’m still free Take a chance on me

It was March when Roman and Carlos broke up. It was mid-April now. The four of them were tucked up in Patton’s living room, watching the rain outside. Virgil, Patton’s new roommate, was half asleep with his head on Logan’s shoulder.

“Go fish,” he said, barely coherent.

“How are you this tired at three in the afternoon?” Roman teased, grabbing another card.

“Movin’s hard,” he yawned. “Logan, got any aces?”

“The only ace I have is myself,” Logan said. “Go fish.”

Patton grinned. “Logan made a dad joke!”

“Fuck.”

“Didn’t you move in a week ago?”

“Roman, be nice,” Patton said with a frown. “You can’t move in on day one.”

Virgil flashed him a smile and took a card. They continued playing for another hour or so before Virgil actually had fallen asleep. Roman and Logan had carried him off to his bed while Patton loaded up a movie. The storm was coming in harder and no one wanted to leave.

Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie

Patton smiled, quick to take Virgil’s place against Logan’s shoulder. He gave a fond sigh, accepting his fate. After knowing him for years, one simply grew accustomed to Patton’s displays of affection. (And, while Logan would never admit it, Patton’s friendship was the perfect way to stave off touch starvation.)

As the movie started, Patton could see the sad glances from Roman. He reached out and grabbed his hand, watching Roman’s eyes light up like the same old galaxy projector they’ve used for years.

If you put me to the test, if you let me try. Take a chance on me. Take a chance on me.

He had Roman exactly where he wanted him.

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we’re together.

It was the first clear day in a week. Roman was stealing Patton from Virgil for all of it. They were hand in hand walking through the park on the way to Roman’s house. It was a perfect day.

Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better

When Patton and Roman were little they could lay in the same bed and feel all the space of the world between them. They were so small and the mattress was only a continent. But they’re bigger now, adults now, and the two of them on the same float drifting in the middle of Roman’s pool didn’t offer the same space. The sun was still beating down on them, but it felt different now. Their skin was still damp and Roman kept his arm around Patton’s waist to stay afloat. Patton could feel his breath on his skin.

It was hot. And Patton was dying.

He pressed his hand against the side of Roman’s face and moved even closer, smirking as he did so. He waited a moment for Roman to respond, loving the way he turned bright red. Patton held his breath and rolled off of the float, taking Roman down with him. When the resurfaced Roman’s hair was stuck to his face and he was coughing up water.

“You FIEND!” he yelled, splashing Patton with water. “Ugh! It’s in my nose! Fuck, it burns!”

Patton only continued laughing, watching Roman’s every movement. Behind him, things were blurry. They didn’t need to be focused on because Roman was there and he was the most important person alive.

Maybe he just needed to put his glasses on.

He swam over to Roman and grabbed his hands, pressing their foreheads together. “However can I make it up to you?” he teased.

“I-”

“Yes?”

Roman moved away, taking his hands back to himself. “I think we should, uh, dry off. I’m going to take a shower. If you want to too, you can- wait shit-” Patton almost felt bad for how flustered he was. Almost. “I just mean like after I’m done and-” He stepped out of the water, and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist.

“I know what you mean, Roman,” Patton said. “Go dechlorinate yourself.”

“Right,” Roman gave an awkward wave, hanging his swim trunks up on the towel rack and heading inside.

‘Cause you know I’ve got so much that I want to do When I dream I’m alone with you It’s magic

It was later that month when they saw each other again. It was different from their typical meetings, Roman had called him late at night. “Hey,” he whispered. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t,” Patton lied. He glanced at the clock. Just past one in the morning. He held back a yawn.

“I- It’s stupid, nevermind. I shouldn’t be bothering you right now.”

“Roman. You’re never a bother to me.”

There was a moment of silence, and Patton wondered in Roman had fallen asleep. All he could hear was breathing.

“Roman?”

“Do you, um, want to watch a movie? Like we used to?”

“We both know you’re not calling me at one in the morning just to watch a movie,” he said.

“Oh.”

“I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair

He walked into Roman’s bedroom exactly twenty-seven minutes later. He slipped his shoes off and let himself fall into Roman’s bed. “Welcome back to childhood.”

Roman brushed his hand against Patton’s. “Yeah. Just like childhood.”

Patton wanted to grab his hand. He wanted to take his face and kiss him senselessly.

“So, why did you call me?” He decided to let that choice be Roman’s. “You must’ve wanted to talk about something.”

“I was thinking,” he admitted. “About Carlos.”

Patton felt something settle in his stomach. Something bad.

“And I don’t like thinking about him.”

“Are you upset about the breakup?”

“No,” Roman said. His fingers brushed against Patton’s again. “You know me. I don’t like to regret the past.”

“Do you regret the breakup?”

“No, Patton, stop.” He sighed. “I regret being with him. And I don’t like that.”

“Oh.”

“He was a rebound, I guess. A distraction. He loved me and I loved that. I loved the attention.”

“Sounds like a few old memories of mine.”

“I was too busy waiting for someone to love me back. And now, I’ve been waiting for so long that I don’t know if he’ll ever-”

“Roman.”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

But I think you know

Roman moved so slowly and carefully. Patton held his cheeks in his hands and pulled him forward, kissing him like there was nothing else in the world.

That I can’t let go

“There isn’t a world where I don’t love you.”

“Oh,” Roman tiredly murmured. “Does that mean we can kiss again?”

Patton pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. “You need to sleep.”

“No, I don’t.” Roman yawned. “I need you.”

“I’m here for you, Roman.” Another kiss. “Now go to sleep.” And the world went quiet. And the world went black.

Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you You don't wanna hurt me, baby don't worry, I ain't gonna let you

They decided to wait a few days before telling everyone. Roman, however, wasted no time stealing every bit of Patton’s affection. “I’m starved,” he’d said. “I’ll die without your kiss, my love.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Patton said, pressing a kiss to Roman’s cheek as he made pancakes. Roman was holding onto his waist, resting his head on his lover’s shoulder. “I love you, Princey.”

Roman hummed. “Love you too, Pattoncake.”

“Awww. Roman that’s adorable.”

“Only because you are.”

Patton squealed, turning around to hide his face in Roman’s chest. He was a blushing mess; he felt like Roman when they were merely flirting.

“Your pancakes are burning, darling.”

“Fuck the pancakes, my face is burning.”

Roman laughed and flipped each of the pancakes quickly before lifting Patton’s chin and kissing him softly. “You’re too easy.”

“Could’ve said the same about you in that pool float.”

Roman kissed him again. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“That’s how I wanna go,” Patton said. “Now go, sit, I need to make sure these don’t burn.”

Let me tell you now

They decided to tell everyone at the next game night, though it never really came to that. Logan had walked in on them making out in the kitchen, muttering “Fucking finally” before grabbing a soda from the fridge and walking out.

Patton blushed and hid his face in Roman’s chest as they both failed to hide their laughter. “I suppose we should get back to cards.”

Roman hummed, snaking his arms around Patton’s sides and pulling him close. He pressed a kiss to Patton’s lips and let it melt into more as sugar dissolved at his touch. “I have much more fun things in mind than cards.”

“Baaabe.”

“Yes?” Roman asked, kissing him again.

“If you two don’t get your asses over here I will stab you both,” Logan called.

Virgil then continued, shouting, “STOP BEING FUCKING HORNY!”

Roman laughed. “Let’s get back to cards.”

My love is strong enough

They settled into a nice routine. They spent more time together, yes, but also readjusted to spending time apart. Being a couple felt natural, it was hard to imagine living any other way.

Patton was laying in bed, squinting at his phone screen without his glasses. He smiled, half asleep but not willing to end his conversation so quickly. Roman was gushing about some book series or maybe it was a YouTube video, Patton really couldn’t tell. But it didn’t matter, seeing the stream of texts was comforting enough.

Pattoncake: Wait, hold on

Princey: ???

Pattoncake: I love you <3

Pattoncake: Okay, keep going

He smiled at his phone. He knew there had been times in life when he had been hurt. Upset. Injured. But Roman made it feel like nothing bad existed. Roman made everything feel like love.

To last when things get rough It’s magic

“Fuck,” Roman groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Patton asked, leaning against his shoulder.

“Tomorrow got cancelled due to weather.”

“That’s Florida for you.”

He groaned in response. “Florida can suck my dick.”

“But then I’d be out of a job.”

Roman’s face went bright red as Patton laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Patton said, “We can still be gay in the rain.”

“Not with the other gays though.”

“We can be gay together. We can hang out with our friend gays.”

“I guess.”

“There’s other events,” Patton reminded. “Just let the weather pass. I’ll make tomorrow special.”

You say that I waste my time, but I can’t get you off my mind

Roman was out getting groceries while Virgil and Logan were sneaking into his apartment with every rainbow thing they could find. The apartment was covered wall to wall in flags and lights and for some reason a framed picture of the kiss scene from Love, Simon that had not been there before.

“Patton, I don’t intend to sound rude, but,” Logan looked up and down at Patton’s rainbow suit, “is this, perhaps, a bit superfluous?”

Patton adjusted Logan’s lapel pin, a heart in the colors and arrangement of the demisexual pride flag. “I’m dating Roman, if it’s not extra it’s not us.”

Logan rolled his eyes but gave a fond smile. “I will never understand how I am friends with either of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. Now I need you and Virgil to show how much you love me by leaving, Roman will be back any minute now.”

No, I can’t let go

Roman’s hair was sticking to his face when he came inside. He dropped the grocery bags by the door when he saw everything around him.

‘Cause I love you so

“Patton, what the fuck is this?”

“Surprise,” Patton said. “Or should I say ‘surpride!’”

Roman smiled, picking up the grocery bags and putting them properly on the counter. “You look ridiculous.”

“Do you not like it?”

“Oh, Patton.” Roman pulled him in close, holding his cheeks in his hands. “I adore it.”

Patton leaned into the touch, pressing their lips together. “I adore you.”

“Not as much as I adore you.”

“Hmm, nah,” Patton hummed. “I think I love you the most.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe,” he said with a smirk. “OH! I have to show you something!” He grabbed Roman’s hand and they ran into the living room. Patton pressed play on his phone and grabbed Roman’s hands.

“You can’t slow dance to Troye Sivan.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “But I want to. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me

Patton pressed his head against Roman’s chest.

If you need me, let me know, gonna be around If you've got no place to go when you're feeling down

“We should stay like this forever.”

“What? Dancing?” Roman asked. “People have died from that.”

“No, not dancing,” Patton said. “I mean...”

If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me

“Together. Forever.”

Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie If you put me to the test, if you let me try

“I agree completely, my love.”

Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me

#royality #ts royality #my royality retinas #sanders sides fic #sanders sides royality

144 notes · View notes

superspoonie24 · 4 years ago

Text

Broken Steel

Kara is having panic attacks and is determined to find out who’s causing them. Almost 3k. Kara really just needs a hug and therapy. 💛

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130801

CLICK

"Oh no," Kara whispered as the door locked behind her. "It's okay. You'll be okay," she mumbled to herself.

Kara took a deep breath and focused on the reason she went into the supply closet in the first place. She fumbled around for the ream of printer paper until she finally found it hiding behind the toner.

"Gotcha! Now to get out of here."

Kara turned around to open the door, but the handle wouldn't budge.

"Shoot."

Kara jiggled it and pulled on it but nothing worked. She'd blown her powers out, so she couldn't 'accidentally' break the door. She just had to sit and wait for someone to find her.

"Okay Kara. You can do this. Just breathe. Focus on what Harley taught you."

Kara took a deep, diaphragmatic breath in, held it for seven counts, and let it out for eight. She repeated it over and over, but the panic still rose within her.

At somepoint she ended up on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. The walls were closing in, and it felt like she would be stuck there forever.

"No Kara. You're not in the pod. It'll be okay. Just breathe." Kara squeezed her head tight, begging her mind to focus on something, anything else.

"Come on Kara. You should be over this. You're the Girl of Steel, and you can't handle a closet?" Kara chastised. She dug her finger nails into her temporarily human skin.

Tears were threatening to fall when the door opened behind her.

"Kara!" Winn exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

He reached out his hand and helped her up. Kara brushed off her skirt and wiped her eyes.

"Huh? Oh I'm fine," Kara lied. "Just had a little trouble with the door. Someone she really fix that."

Kara walked off without saying another word. She didn't go back for the paper.

***

The elevator ride that night after work was the longest of Kara's life. She fiddled with the end of her shirt and rubbed her hands together. If she had her powers she would've just flown home, but she couldn't. And after having to walk everywhere all day, Kara was too exhausted to take 15 flights of stairs. Although right now, she was beginning to rethink it.

When the elevator dinged and the doors finally opened, Kara tore out of there. She ran into the empty street and enjoyed the open air. Despite how exhausted she was, Kara walked all the way home.

***

'What's going on? Why can't I move?' Kara thought to herself as she opened her eyes to total darkness. She felt like she was floating; she felt sick to her stomach.

'Not this again,' she grumbled. 'Alright. Breathe. You can do this.'

Kara maintained steady breathing as she drifted aimlessly through space. A bright light appeared in the corner of her eye. She turned her head. Suddenly she could see every detail in high definition.

'I'm- I'm in the pod? As an adult. Wait what was that flash? Where am I? Why can't I move!'

Kara's breath picked up and she whipped her head around, only adding to her nausea. She located a familiar white moon and a bright yellow sun.

'NOOOO!' Kara screamed as she watched her planet explode for a second time. Tears streamed down her face as she mourned the loss of her new home: Earth.

***

Kara woke up hyperventilating, her body covered in sweat. She looked around and realized she was in her room, on Earth.

'It was just a dream. Well, a nightmare,' Kara thought to herself.

She flung what's left of the covers off the bed and sat up. She stretched and accidentally got a whiff of her fresh sweat.

'Guess I'm gonna shower now.'

Kara got up and headed to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway, staring at the small room.

'It's okay. You can do this. You're not in the pod. You're not in the closet. You can leave whenever you want.'

Kara took a deep breath and stepped into the bathroom. She left the door open.

***

Kara spent the whole day ready to fly through a wall at a moments notice. She nearly punched Winn when he came up and tapped her on the shoulder.

'Get it together Kara,' she chastised herself. 'You aren't under attack. Relax dammit!'

Kara took a few deep breaths and broke the mouse in her hand.

'Dang it.'

Kara looked around the office to see if she could get some intern to get a new mouse for her; it was empty.

'Okay. Guess this is a job for Supergirl.'

Kara tried to laugh at her bad joke, but it didn't help. She made her way to the supply closet and stood at its door.

'It's just a closet Kara. Prop the door open. Find the mouse. Get out. You've done it a hundred times. You can do it again.'

Kara just stood staring at the open door. She focused only on her breathing, blocking out all other sounds.

"Whatcha staring at?" Nia asked.

Kara jumped a foot in the air and nearly fell over.

"Nia!" Kara shouted. "Don't. Scare me like that."

Kara struggled to regain her breath.

"Sorry?"

Nia looked at Kara and asked "are you okay?" She then whispered "I thought you had super hearing."

"I do!" Kara replied, louder than necessary. "I was just- focused on something else."

"Alright..." Nia looked at her again but brushed it off. "So what were you staring at?"

"Oh. Right. I was.... Looking for a mouse! For my computer. Oh I just remembered I have to do something," Kara lied. "Would you do me a favor and get me one?"

Nia looked at Kara's trembling hands, but didn't push it.

"Sure. Go do your thing and I'll have the mouse waiting on your desk."

"Thank you Nia! You're the best."

Kara gave Nia a tight hug before dashing off.

'Time to go check on an old friend.'

***

Kara landed outside the DEO and marched her way to her 'old friend'.

"How are you doing it?" Kara asked as she slammed on the wall.

"Well isn't it my luck. The birdy has decided to visit the cat."

"Answer me!" Kara demanded. The glass started to crack.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Psi shouted.

"How did you get in my head? How come I feel this fear in every bone in my body? What did you do to me!"

"Nothing silly bird." Psi backed away from the glass and sat on the bench. "I haven't been able to do anything since you put this stupid lock on me. Not to mention the 24/7 surveillance keeping me from escaping."

Kara's eye twitched and she clenched her fist.

"It sounds to me like the birdy has some problems she can't solve. Sad how easy it is to break the Girl of Steel."

Kara punched the glass; it almost broke. "You better not be behind this," she threatened. "And you better pray I find the person behind this!" Kara shouted as she walked out the room, her hand twitching.

'Dammit,' Kara muttered as she rubbed her sore hand. 'I really thought she was behind this. shirt! It's game night.'

Kara flew out the window to get her apartment ready for her friends.

***

"Damn Kara. I can't believe you won again!" Lena exclaimed, gently punching her shoulder.

"Don't feel bad. No one has dethroned this queen in quite some time," Kara boasted, making broad royal gestures.

"I remember when you first came to Earth and didn't know what uno was. I miss that."

Kara shot Alex a glare and Alex stuck her tongue out.

"Has anyone thought about Kara using her x-ray vision?" Lena piped in.

The group collectively turned and stared at her. Kara's eyes flashed red.

"I'm just saying, she doesn't have her glasses on. They're leadlined, right?"

"Yes I do believe that Lena is correct." Brainy turned and stared at Kara.

"Fine." Kara swung around and put her glasses on. "You want to test it? Let's go. Rematch. Glasses, on."

The room was dead silent, everyone waiting for Lena's response.

"Deal. Get ready to lose, Kara Zor-el."

"It's on, Lena Luthor."

The rest of the room joined in the next game, but no one was surprised it was down to Lena and Kara.

"Uno," Lena flirted. She held up her card for everyone to see.

Kara didn't respond. She placed a plus 4, which made the room gasp. Lena grumbled as she drew four more cards.

"Red."

Lena grumbled again.

Kara slowly got through her hand until only 2 cards remained. Lena placed down a card and smirked.

"Uno!" Kara called out, beating Lena to it. Lena drew four cards.

"Do you want to keep going? Or will you just admit defeat and bow down to your Queen." Kara made another regal gesture with her hands, being very careful to keep her cards hidden.

"Never," Lena snarled.

Kara placed down a card.

"Uno." She mocked Lena's move from merely a few minutes ago. Kara prayed no one could see her sweating.

"fork," Lena mumbled, placing down a red 5.

Kara smirked. She placed down a blue 5.

"I win," Kara boasted. "Still think I cheated?" Kara asked as she played with the glasses sitting on her face.

"No," Lena mumbled. She was in full pout.

"Face it Lena," Kara started as she walked over to where Lena sat. "No one can dethrone the queen."

Lena looked up into Kara's eyes and Kara felt heat rise to her face. Her hands started to sweat, for a different reason than before. Kara knew she was blushing.

"Alright!" Alex shouted. "Let's play a different game."

Kara looked to Alex and gave her a silent thanks.

Kara scurried away from Lena and Winn pulled out a different game. Kara wasn't paying attention to his choice; she was stuck in her thoughts.

'Why did Lena think I was cheating? Does she not trust me? Does everyone else think that? And why was I blushing?'

"Are you okay with what Winn chose, Kara?" Nia asked.

"Huh? Yea. That's fine."

Kara glanced around as everyone started picking their pieces.

'Of course he'd choose monopoly. He insists on playing it everytime. Even though he always gets out first.'

Kara rubbed her arm slowly as the game started. She rolled the dice and went through the motions, using her standard tactic of buy everything she lands on. She took some deep breaths, but nothing seemed to help her calm down.

"Hey," Kara interjected. "Is anyone else hot?"

She looked around at the sea of shaking heads.

'Oh. So it's just me. Get it together idiot. It's just game night. There's nothing to be on edge about.'

Kara continued playing. She nearly broke the table when she landed in jail for the third time in a row.

"Oh come on!" Kara shouted as she slammed her piece on the corner spot.

"Kara, are you okay?" Lena asked.

"I'm fine. Go enjoy boardwalk and probably win this stupid game."

"Kara. What's wrong?" Kelly asked, taking note of the unusual behavior.

"I said I'm fine!" Kara yelled. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tight.

The game continued.

'Dammit Kara. Get it together. They're just worried about you. Why are you upset? Why are you attacking your friends? They just want to help.'

"I'm gonna go get a drink. I'll be right back." Kara stood up and left the table, not waiting for a response.

"Can you grab me a coke!" James shouted.

"Uh, sure!" Kara replied from inside the fridge.

'This is nice. I could just stay here for a while.' Kara rummaged through the fridge for James's coke. She found one burried deep in the back and pulled it out. She walked back to the table.

"Here ya go," Kara said as she handed James the coke.

"Thanks." He grabbed it and set it on the table. "Weren't you going to get something?" James asked.

"Huh?" Kara mumbled as she sat down. "Oh... I uh, changed my mind?"

No one questioned it.

"Your turn." Nia handed Kara the dice.

"Finally!" Kara shouted. She rolled doubles.

The game continued without a hitch, until Kara landed on boardwalk.

"Oh come on!" Kara exclaimed. "It can't possibly be that much!"

"3 houses Kara. Fork it over." Lena held out her hand for the money.

"Alright alright. Just give me a second."

Kara felt everyone's eyes fixed on her as she rummaged about for her money. The room was silent. Everyone was waiting on her.

'Come on Kara. Hurry up. Just admit you don't have enough and forfeit.'

Kara's hands started to shake.

'No, it'll be fine. I just, need a minute to think.'

'They're all waiting on you. Your slowing down game night. Just end it. They don't want to be with you anyways.'

'That's, that's not true.'

Kara's breathing sped up.

'Yes it is. You know it is. They're just pitying you. The poor little alien with nowhere else to go. They don't want to be with you. They don't like you. Who would possibly want to hang out with a lost alien who's parents didn't even want her.'

"Stop it!" Kara shouted. She brought her hands up to her head and started rocking back and forth.

The room started to spin. She could hear every little beep of a microwave, every pet scratching at a door, every scream from her dying planet.

"Make it stop. Please. Everyone just stop."

Tears streamed down Kara's face. She continued rocking and pushing her hands into her head, trying to stop the noise.

"shirt." Alex ran to Kara's room without another word.

"Kara are you okay?"

"Try to take some deep breaths."

"You're safe here."

"It's okay Kara. Breathe."

Kara continued rocking back and forth. Her thoughts swirled about in her head, one insult after another.

"Everyone stop," Alex stated as she ran out of Kara's room. She was holding something in her hand.

Alex knelt down next to Kara and held up the earmuffs. She slowly pulled Kara's hands away from her head; Kara didn't resist. Alex slid the muffs over Kara's ears and pulled her sister into a tight hug.

'It stopped. Why did it stop? What's going on?'

Kara took a slow, deep breath, and let herself be hugged by Alex.

'Oh.'

Kara's tears slowly stopped falling as Alex rubbed small circles into her back, never letting go. Kara eventually opened her eyes and spoke.

"Thank you, Alex." She hugged her sister back.

"You okay now?" Alex asked, still hugging her.

"Yea. Thank you."

"Anytime." Alex gave her a tight squeeze before finally letting go.

Kara felt sick as she realized all of her friends just witnessed her total breakdown.

"So uh. That happened," Kara laughed, trying to brush it off.

"Do you want to talk about?" Kelly asked. "Only if you want to."

"Well um, you guys deserve to know..."

Kara rubbed her arm and looked to Alex.

"She had a panic attack."

The room stopped and stared at the Danvers sisters.

"I used to get them a lot when I first came to Earth, after... Well after everything. I uh. I haven't had one since Psi showed up..."

"Kara is claustrophobic, which usually is what triggered it," Alex explained.

"Is that why I found you staring at the closet?" Nia asked, concerned for her friend.

Kara nodded, but couldn't bare looking at her.

"Sometimes," Alex continued. "sounds and noise cause it, which is why I got the special earmuffs Dad made for her."

"Jeremiah knew I struggled with my powers." Kara looked up and smiled. "He made me these glasses, so I could control my x-ray vision. He also made a few pairs of earmuffs that keep me from hearing anything. I forgot I even had them, until now..."

"Kara," Kelly started. "This is nothing to be ashamed of."

Kara looked up at Kelly, tears forming in her eyes.

"But I'm the Girl of Steel. I can't just break because the microwave keeps beeping."

"But you're also a person." Kelly came over and put her hands on Kara's. "You deserve as much as help as you give others. You don't have to do this alone."

Kelly squeezed Kara's hands, and Kara looked her in the eyes.

"You sure?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not disappointing anyone?"

"No Kara," Kelly answered. "You're not a disappointment."

"We love you" Alex said as she pulled Kara into a hug. "All of us do."

"I'm impressed with how well you've handled everything," Lena chimed in. Everyone turned and looked at her. "I'm just saying! I turn to the bottle every other night, and I'm not the last daughter of an entire planet."

Everyone laughed at Lena's statement and Kara gave a slight smile.

"If there's anything we can do, please let us know." Nia smiled over at Kara.

"I uh," Kara stammered. "Maybe a group hug?"

Immediately, everyone surrounded her and squished her in the middle of all their love and support (and their arms). She was squished up next to Lena and couldn't help but blush. Tears fell onto Lena's shirt as Kara's walls came crashing down. For the first time since she got to Earth, Kara let herself break.

***

After the tears stopped falling, everyone returned to game night and the rest of the night was filled with joy and laughter. Kelly talked to Kara about joining her PTSD program, to go along with her regular therapy. After a moment's hesitation, Kara agreed.

Weeks passed and Kara started feeling better. She kept an eye out for whoever was causing the breakdowns, but she couldn't find anything, or anyone.

'Maybe Psi was right...'

#whumptober2020 #no.18 #panic attacks #phobias #paranoia #supergirl #fic #aly writes #claustrophobia #kara has a n x i e t y #and also panic attacks #kara danvers x therapy #vent fic #seriously kara just needs to talk to a therapist god damn #this bitch's been through a lot

3 notes · View notes

scarlettlawyer · 5 years ago

Text

Part 10 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

So moving forward, as I continued to read on, there was a backdrop of salt, apathy & hurt overshadowing everything as established in the previous post. But I was still reading on because “might as well see what happens I guess”. Starting Vanquishing Mirages chapter 20, I was also nervous & intrigued. Nervous about how the narrative was going to go about this and what the result was going to be… So I read on kind of with bated breath.

And it just remains in that interesting stage for a little while, the uncertainty stage where I don’t really know where it’s gonna go, for those first few paragraphs, as I’m waiting and reading on to see how it turns out… and then it takes a downturn when the negative emotions just start POURING in tsunami style and everything just starts crashing down horribly. I go quickly from nervous/intrigued to kind of horrified as it strikes me just. How. Traumatic and overwhelming the entire experience would be for someone who has never really had to deal with emotions of much severity their entire life. I’m just oh no… oh no…….. oh nooooo….. I didn’t foresee this at all, so distracted by so many things up until this point, and yet it makes perfect sense. But it was a real punch huh. This was awful, what a disaster. This was not good… Which is basically what Simon says:

What a mess. What a complete, total and utter mess. […] Perhaps this was punishment for playing god. Perhaps they’d flown too close to the sun. Perhaps they were Frankenstein, responsible for giving birth to a failed creation.

Me:

[hides away in a corner because I think we broke him lads]

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 21

The Phantom blinked, shedding a few more tears as he did so. Perhaps he hadn’t quite processed Simon’s words. Perhaps he hadn’t quite processed the situation in general. He swallowed and sniffed, then tilted his head backwards.

Am I meant to be picturing this in anything less than stunningly beautiful and fluid animation? Because I am not picturing this in anything less than gorgeously rendered animation.

Whatever it was that’d held Bobby back from touching the Phantom before, it was gone now. He placed a hand atop the Phantom’s clenched fist, hoping it might soothe him. “Whoah, it’s okay. It’s fine.” “It’s not fine! How dare you claim that it’s fine?! YOU did this to me!”

AAAAAAND WE’RE BACK LADIESANDGENTLEMAN HELLO THERE NARRATIVE FRAMING OF HIM AS A CHILD: ACTIVATE

HELLO! this is exciting and new!

“Calm yourself.” “I can’t! I CAN’T!”

He really wouldn’t know how to or be able to!

AND THEN AT THIS POINT IT JUST HIT ME

THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE

HE ACTUALLY WOULD HAVE THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY OF A CHILD BECAUSE HE’S NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO MATURE EMOTIONALLY, DUH, CAUSE HE LACKED EMOTIONS SO MUCH, THIS IS BRAND NEW TO HIM H

Narrative framing of him as a child during Haunted Specters REALLY paying off even more right now! We’ve already reaped so much from those seeds. But now! Oh boy!

“We would not honor such a request even if it were within our capabilities. Congratulations, Phantom. You are now free to tussle with emotions just like every other human.”

MY FEELINGS/REACTION TOWARDS THIS WHOLE SITUATION CHANGED SO FAST IT WAS LIKE:

“Oh noooo… this is so awful and terrible for him this is too much I can’t handle th… W-wait. Phphhw. Heh. Hah. HahahaHAHAHA MUAHAHA YEEEES ONE OF US ONE OF US DEEEEEEEAL WITH IT HAHAHA SUCKERRRRRRRR!”

The Phantom’s wide eyes followed Fulbright out the room. Apparently, his departure served to rile the man up even further. “Get back here! Bobby Fulbright! You get back here and end my suffering RIGHT NOW!”

This is just so good this is just so good hohoooh!

The Phantom sniffed and huffed. Flinched and scrunched his eyes shut, his breathing turning to more helpless sobs. Tears continued to run down the side of his face, disappearing into locks of hair just above his ears.

Hey yeah just saying it again. This is nothing but pure unadulterated animation mode for me. With REALLY GOOD animation. A really gorgeous 2D anime style.

Simon hesitated for a moment, then placed a careful hand atop the Phantom’s closed eyes. They felt soggy and unpleasant to touch. “Focus on the sound of my voice and nothing else. Focus on my voice and breathe.”

IT’S WEIRD CAUSE LIKE. I HAD VERY FRESH PHANTOMQUILL WOUNDS AT THIS POINT OF READING BUT. Right up until The Kiss prior to the surgery I had been very firmly in the parental-child dynamic mindset camp and thoroughly enjoying myself. It was the kiss and stuff that I found jarring at first BECAUSE of that before getting up and moving over to phantomquill mode, only for it to turn out to be fake phantomquill. You’d think it might actually be hard for me to go back to “Oh the phantom is a child and Bobby and Simon are his parents” after the phantomquill fiasco but in terms of mindset, it really wasn’t difficult because I’d only been in Phantomquill mode comparatively VERY briefly before it got destroyed. I was already thoroughly versed in the ways of the parent-child dynamic heh and had spent waaaay longer enjoying that lens. Being so used to it, it was easy enough to switch back over to it.

Do NOT get me wrong, I was still VERY upset over it, yet somehow I could still deeply enjoy the familial dynamic between Simon and the phantom in this moment.

So I basically was still grumbling angrily about phantomquill under my breath while somehow simultaneously excitedly going “OMG SUPPORTIVE DAD SIMON!!!”

Me: yeah. Yeah. You’re really just Piling On that family dynamic after that huge mess with the kiss and the baiting??? Just showing me blatantly to my face how wrong I was to ever read romance into anything? You have the gall to?

Also me: …I still love the parent-child dynamics from this series so FIIINE I do appreciate this scene. I appreciate it a lot, actually. HMPH

Talk about being of a conflicted mind. But there’ll be more mention of that to come.

…Oh, and yeah, I have still been referring to him as the phantom, haven’t I? Well that’s simple: it’s what the narrative is still calling him, so I continue to call him by that title until it is dropped by the narrative itself

Besiiides, for all intents and purposes, during this small gap of time until it changes, he is NOT quite Lex yet, because he has not yet accepted the name and nor has the narrative itself.

So we get this awesome little window which is just, he’s still “the phantom” if that’s the only title we have before “Lex” is accepted and taken on. Pure, unfiltered “Phantom” + Emotion and it’s sooo special. Which… yes… Phantom + Emotions = becomes Lex but… argh, it gets confusing very quickly for me. :P

The question seemed to startle the Phantom for some reason. … No, not the Phantom. It was Lex, now. That notion still felt foreign. Perhaps Alexander would be more suitable. More formal. Less personal.

I WAS SOOO THANKFUL FOR THIS ON FIRST READTHROUGH. I was thankful for how jarring Simon was finding it too (because in that respect he certainly wasn’t alone lol – I wasn’t alone). I was thankful that the narrative hadn’t immediately switched over to saying “Lex” after he woke up from surgery. Oh, and I’d even been thankful waaay back when his name being Alexander Luster Jr was first revealed that the narrative switch hadn’t been made then either. I mean, it wasn’t for OBVIOUS reasons but like… Technically that’s his name. So the narrative could have tried making an attempt at it and I was just glad he was still always “the Phantom” even when we knew what his name was when he was born. Cause he sure as hell didn’t accept the name back then.

But I was SUPER thankful for Simon deciding to call him “Alexander” too. It was kind of a real godsend BECAUSE LIKE. The name “Lex” was so heavily entrenched and still attached in my mind to that super mean bald dude that got killed off. It was a name that therefore felt “ugly” that had been attached to a man with an “ugly” personality. And whoever this man was that woke up from the surgery, it sure as HELL didn’t feel like his name. I was kinda like “buddy. If you want me to start calling this character “Lex” you’ve got another thing coming.” So having “Alexander” instead was a relief that helped A LOT at the time lol. It was sooo much easier to switch to. And Simon going for the more formal variant is such a Simon thing to do anyway. XD

Also???? Alexander… Alexander Luster… felt like such a pretty name actually???? BUT I MEAN. I am the first to admit that I am probably extremely biased on that front. And that I’d probably just. End up thinking just about any name applied to him was “pretty”. LOL.

But yeaaahhh although I kinda had a hard time with the “Lex” business at first, after a little bit of time it became easy to accept, as it usually goes with these things. Now I’ve got 0 problems with it. Lex is Lex!

“That makes you nothing more than an ungrateful child,” Simon grumbled, finally stepping away from the window to take his own seat.

Every time the narrative makes a DIRECT reference or draws a DIRECT parallel to him being a child it feels like it adds another 3 years to my lifespan.

“Ahahahah! I-I c-can’t! Hahahahah! Ahahahahah! Irony!~”

…

MEOWZY. YOU. YOU. DID THIS. YOU MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO PUT A TILDE THERE. H.

You did that. You did that on purpose. What did you doooooo. What’s HAPPENING

I can’t… I… just needed to point this out and take you to task over it. GOSH

The i-intent… the intent of this in the narrative

As if to say,

Look… Look at how… endearing

As if to say,

“Yes, you not only can, but SHOULD find this endearing”…………

Ohooooh it’s too much IT’S.

It’s death by tilde is what it is. You didn’t. Need to. You could have just left the words and such as it was. But you threw it in, intentionally showing off how we’re supposed to take this just in case there’s any mistake.

You’re under arrest.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 22: Epilogue

Still, as he raised the headphones to his ear, he heard enough. It was indeed playing music- and what horrid music it was. “-When skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” “Where the devil did you get this?” he demanded, virtually throwing it into Alexander’s lap.

BRO THIS IS SO UNREAL.

The sheer image of the (former) phantom listening to music was so wild and then it jUST

Alexander’s fingers began to play with the headphones, twirling them around in his hands as he spoke. “You know, it’s funny. I’ve listened to music before, but it’s like I’ve never really heard it. …Does that make sense?”

OH MY GOOOOOSH. THIS REALISATION HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK. THIS HAD NOT OCCURRED TO ME… AT ALL! BUT IT’S SO…! :D HE CAN LISTEN TO AND ENJOY MUSIC NOW. Get immersed in it. That was the most fantastic realisation to me. No, you don’t understaaaand, you see, as a child, getting immersed in listening to music was so central to me that as a kid I’d come up with a bunch of story ideas involving things like other planets/alien creatures that would revolve their entire society around music, or alien creatures that have no concept of music and get introduced to it and subsequently immersed in it for the first time. This just hit so close to hoooome, oh my goodness, I hadn’t remembered or thought about those memories/story ideas that kid me had for maybe a good ten years, and this fic suddenly reminded me with the headphones business. It’s really not related to the fic to mention but I’d looong forgotten about all those scenarios I’d thought about and it was so cool to be reminded. :’D

BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE FIC-

Me like three chapters ago: WAAAAH, NOTHING THIS SERIES COULD EVER DO COULD EVER MAKE ME HAPPY AGAIN!

Me reading this chapter not too long afterwards: HMMM OKAY I AM KIND OF VERY HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

Oh and it just occurred to me: my guess is the person who “overslept her own execution” was Cammy Meele!

And now, I’m gonna start talking about Lifting Spirits! But at least just for this post, I’m gonna change things up a little and not segment my comments chapter-wise or comment on little things, but rather talk about stuff pertaining to the earlier parts of the fic as a whole. This is necessary because my thoughts were an unbelievable mess and were so terribly bunched together – that is, thanks to reading through it relatively fast, I guess everything got kind of mixed together, so individual reactions to individual parts of it are a little less well-“defined” than was the case with the prior fics at the point of reading.

...I don't know if I could ever do Lifting Spirits justice. I CERTAINLY don't do it justice in this post. Believe me, I want nothing more than to just sit down and gush endlessly about it because that's what it warrants, but for the time being this post seems to be too busy trying to outline just how much my own disposition threatened to botch and ruin it for myself. XD

But it will get better in future review posts, I promise!

Yeah, my thoughts were a contradictory, convoluted, conflicting mess. There was SO much going on at once for me with regards to how I was responding to the text on first readthrough. It’s hard to know even where to begin. So let’s try and tackle some things in Lifting Spirits:

1 - The Transition from The Phantom to Lex

…It does such a number on my brain on multiple levels. XD. IT MESSES WITH ME SO MUCH, it’s a straightforward concept enough in theory but my brain overloads and threatens to shut down when I try to wrap my head around it. XD

I love the phantom, so my instinctive bias at first was to try and cling to the label of “the phantom” as long as I could until it’s finally surrendered.

So, I’ve said already that I was kinda nervous about how this transition was gonna be pulled off. There’s always SORT OF a risk involved when going ahead and giving the phantom an identity and making them no longer the phantom – it kind of wanders straight into the Original Character zone. This New Character who used to be the phantom, in such cases, does get a bit of a complimentary “boost” of my investment in them by virtue of having been the phantom, but beyond that, the new character in the phantom’s place must learn to pull their own weight in the story. They cannot purely rely on having been the phantom – they must develop on their own and give the audience due reason to be invested in the new character. And/or, they must still have some ties connecting them back to having been the phantom too, even with their new characterisation and personality.

So yeah, I had literally no reason to be even remotely nervous. Lex is fantastic. And can very VERY easily stand up in the narrative on his own accord. Not only that, but it’s just… genius… the extremity of his emotions is, ironically, the very thing that connects him back to having been the emotionless phantom…! Because it drives home repeatedly that he really has had NO experience with this level of feeling due to his past. It’s a total pendulum swing to the other end of the spectrum and I love it SO damn much.

Regardless of whether he’s Lex or the phantom, he’s still my favourite character.

1.1 – The phantom as Lex/the phantom becoming Lex

Man, this fic.

I swear to god.

I keep trying to type out my thoughts and it’s so hard to be coherent about it.

Lex is… “the (former) phantom”. So I’ll use this phrasing to really drive the point home. Because such a huge amount of what happens, of what’s going on… derives its impact from this very important fact. From the unbelievable contrast. The seeming absurdity of EVERYTHING given who he was.

The former phantom laughs at stupid jokes, gets given a stash of sweets and a Jokes & Riddles book thanks to Bobby, gets goofily absorbed in a phone game………… The list just goes on.

You are doing this. You are making me read all this stuff involving the former phantom with my own two eyes, I… I…… This flippin’ portrayal. Almost feels like it should be illegal xDDDD

1.1a - YOU ARE WHAT IS KNOWN AS AN ENABLER

I have been… a fan of the character known as the phantom for many years now… I started playing through the Ace Attorney games in December 2014, and played Dual Destinies in the first half of 2015. I’ve had years to jokingly talk about the phantom ironically in an “awwww just look at them, awwww how innocent/”cute”” way, obviously knowing damn well they’re not.

And I basically went into Chasing Phantoms with, on some level, an attitude of “haha you can TRY to make me hate the phantom, I know you will, but I won’t let you”

Big mistake, to head into this series stubbornly guarding a totally opposite area of phantom perception compared to what I SHOULD have been guarding against.

And then you just

Came along and took the character

And did this.

It was fine at first in like, Haunted Specters and then Vanquishing Mirages. It was a big joke that everyone was in on. It was a joke and it was funny and I was laughing along with it. Albeit. An evolving joke.

And then Lifting Spirits just

It jUST

All of a sudden I had to be like wait a minute. I was just like whoa, whoa. Hold up. You can’t – WAIT a minute. No WAIT

I walked into this trap with no defences prepared. I’d walked into this series going “I’d like to see you try and make me truly hate this man, but it won’t work, I’ll make sure it doesn’t work out of spite” and now all of a sudden this was all happening at once and I had to suddenly try and backpedal dramatically out of the trap and be like wait wait wait no this is, this is, he was?? A bad guy was he not? Wait what are we-

The scales were tipping too far for my liking – too far in a direction I was ALREADY biased and predisposed towards and I wanted to stop it but what defence did I haaave

It’s like the narrative was poking me and going “Hey. So. Your favourite character. He’s pretty great, right? Right?” and I’d shake my head and try my best to go, “No… No! He isn’t – this isn’t right! What! There has to be some kind of mistake! This is a thirty-seven year old man who has killed people WHAT IS GOING ON”

And this is also, at the same time, set against a backdrop of me still stubbornly trying to cling to a mindset of not wanting this man to be able to cheat death or the finality of execution.

So here’s the first of many contradictory feelings I was having at once:

“This man must be punished and therefore I can’t abide by such a lighthearted portrayal” vs “I love this man so much and every single moment of this lighthearted portrayal is GOLD and I love it sooo much”

2- The Phantom VS Lex

The portrayal of my favourite character was making me rather pleased, but it felt way too good to be true on three different fronts. Firstly, the amusing absurdity in and of itself made it hard to process this was Really Happening, the levels of it feeling “unreal” were so much and I was so stunned and I was sincerely struggling to process it at first. Secondly, it just felt so catered to me (LOL) and “too good to be true” that I felt like. Like. The narrative surely couldn’t be doing something so great. A similar kind of inability to believe this was “really happening” which had cropped up during Haunted Specters. And this was heavily fuelled by, THREE… My pesky little reactions to our old friend, Fake Phantomquill.

The hurt that I was feeling over the phantomquill unfortunately seeped into and tainted my perception of other parts of the story and caused me to get irrationally defensive in many respects at the time. See, as I’ve implied, part of what was so very appealing to me about Legit one-sided phantomquill coming to fruition just before the surgery is that it felt like the final step in taking the phantom further down from his pedestal and that much closer to “joining the ranks of humanity” just in time for surgery that would have “the phantom” cease to be altogether and allow him to make the full transformation. It wasn’t so much about phantomquill itself as it was about the notion of the phantom being attracted to someone and causing such a big, stupid mess as a result, of being a fundamentally flawed human being but flawed in a vulnerable-

who claimed to be made of nothing but pure logic only to, in his final moments as the phantom act in the most illogical-

It’s silly, I know. First of all, if anything, it can be kind of arophobic, depending on how it’s done, to use “attraction to another person” as a proof or demonstration of a character’s core humanity. It’s just… That’s what I’d tricked myself into thinking the set-up was for, I guess. So when the set-up got so thoroughly negated and didn’t come to fruition, it felt like it had intentionally done the opposite with a bait and switch, and that instead of showing that even the phantom can fall from his pedestal in his final moments before “the phantom” ceases to be, it then seemed the goal was to demonstrate with a great sense of finality that actually, he is despicable and will never be anything but despicable and that we never should have expected anything more up until the very end.

Except… it was silly of me to feel like this first of all seeing as the phantom had already demonstrated during the narrative plenty that he very much does have the capacity to care about other people in his own very odd way. He DID go through character development. Just because none of the feelings he demonstrated were based on attraction doesn’t diminish what he did demonstrate. The Fake Phantomquill Kiss in and of itself is proof of caring because he was ultimately trying to protect Bobby.

But at the time it was hard for me to see that through my hurt. It’s an irrational perspective to take but I wasn’t being rational because of that hurt, and I was distrusting as a result. So, strangely enough, the phantom “dying” as the “filthy criminal he is” after the little show he put on, and then becoming Lex and waking up from the surgery with all these emotions kinda felt to me almost like it was throwing “the phantom” and all the progress as a character he’d made under the bus – of all the potential he’d shown prior to surgical interference.

There was just so much emphasis in the narrative on separating “the phantom” from “Lex” which was fair enough, but it felt to my irrational wounded self like “the phantom” was suddenly being characterised as “Pure Evil” in order to further the ends to which Lex could then be set up as “good”, when we’d previously spent around 2 fics delving into how, while the phantom is very much a villain and none of his crimes can be negated, there is more to him, and he’s, at the very least, not Evil 24/7. Almost like “the phantom” and “Lex” were being pitted against each other which I realise is stupid because c’mon, how can Lex as a character throw the phantom under the bus when Lex was the phantom? When he is merely another huge step – leap – in the character’s evolution? The transformation into Lex can’t negate any of the character development HE made prior to that point, prior to the surgery.

Another important thing to note, which I am extremely grateful to the narrative for, is that Bobby cared about the phantom not only before the surgery, but before the bone sliver was even discovered in the first place. And Simon had also been slipping back then, although he was not nearly as far-gone as Bobby was. But such a thing really helps acknowledge the phantom as a character… and does help reiterate that he wasn’t completely worthless and/or “not worthy of anything” prior to becoming Lex.

I did come to realise that I was, in fact, just needlessly worrying over pure semantics and that there was no point in doing such a thing. Regardless of how one might construe it, this man, Lex, was the same person in the sense that he has all the same memories. There is still a continuity of existence. The "death" of the phantom was only the death of the label itself, the mindset, but the man who had carried the title had still lived on. It allowed, helped that man to shed the worst of what had been part of him before and opened up so much for him.

It's just, the notion of a character actively striving to be good and overcoming themselves vs a sudden fix that gets externally applied, and it felt like any previous striving, however miniscule, threatened to be rendered obsolete by it.

But this was a misplaced notion of mine if there ever was one because not only does it not override previous character development, but the previous character development was necessary for not only making the surgery and its outcome possible, but also a crucial part of the character's arc that can't be overlooked narratively speaking. It is not Lex that characters like Bobby and Athena abruptly start believing in. They'd already believed in him before he was Lex, and they are who campaign for the surgery in the first place. And it is the phantom himself to give the final push and the go-ahead to make it happen through his consent, a vital component to it being made possible. It wasn't erasure, it was never about erasure. It was about continuity and expanding and developing on what was already there. (And I know as well as anyone that the extent of the outcome, and this progress wouldn't have been possible without some form of external interference. It was necessary.)

Whenever I did manage to reconcile it, it was just about the best thing in the world haha.

So yeah, most of this was basically me outlining my distortion of the text and then debunking myself…

I swear my opinions/thoughts/feelings had just about splintered in a million different directions mostly thanks to the shadow cast by my stupid phantomquill pain. XD. My mindset almost threatened to regress to harbouring that foolish unfounded sense that the author didn’t truly care about “the phantom”, and only cared about the person who woke up after that surgery instead. Which is nonsense because Haunted Specters & Vanquishing Mirages clearly indicate otherwise. Why bother spending two entire fics focusing on the phantom so much if the author didn’t care about the phantom? If they wanted to just do away with the phantom and replace him with someone new that they did care about, there were way shorter ways to go about it. I mean, I knew that it was the dumbest concern and that it was incorrect to even consider at this point, but that didn’t stop me from foolishly wasting time on it. It was so hard to believe & trust the story was so attuned to me after being “betrayed” that I semi-adopted/saw the more “hurtful” interpretation as the more “realistic” one.

But reading Lifting Spirits over again so far only reiterates what I realise was the case back then: I only had myself to blame, I was the one vastly exaggerating the perceived distinctions that were being made between Lex and the phantom in the text not only because of my own latent concerns but because of how personally mindboggling I was finding it.

And all the while, I’m SIMULTANEOUSLY borderline scolding the text for how seemingly soft it’s being on the (former) phantom and thinking that the author’s phantom bias is showing. Talk about doublethink!

I had been thinking this entire series that I was perfectly safe to “gush” over this man, because at least the author knew what was what, at least the author still had her senses about her and wouldn’t let it go too astray or let it get out of hand. IF THE AUTHOR IS TREATING HIM LIKE THIS AND I’M TREATING HIM LIKE THIS… THEN WHO’S DRIVING THE PLANE?!

And keep in mind too that I read through Lifting Spirits… Rather quickly. So I’ve got all of these tangled thoughts I’m trying to process at once meanwhile I’m just breezing through the chapters, not really giving myself any real chance to sort through my thoughts and untangle the messes that had formed.

I was somehow managing to feel overwhelmingly thrilled and yet hurt by the narrative at the same time. AAAAALLL the contradictory thoughts and feelings. Contrarian mode was on, it seemed, as I tried to juggle so many opinionated stances and arguments at once that cancelled each other out:

“The phantom was a human being too, with his own issues and he ALSO had (limited) feelings DON’T IGNORE THIS” vs “how dare you portray someone who used to be the phantom, a remorseless killer unworthy of a second thought, in such an endearing manner” vs “ohhhh I love this endearing portrayal so much it’s pure SUSTENANCE to me it’s so entertaining & amazing & makes me so happy” vs stubborn attempts to still cling to “make sure that execution goes ahead, this man still isn’t allowed to escape death” with a slight backdrop of that phantomquill salt-fueled apathy & denial. I was somehow now on the defensive and trying to argue that the phantom hadn’t been 100% despicable and yet also trying to retain the stance that the man in his place still needed to die because the phantom had been 100% despicable. YEP. Walking contradiction. Absolutely wild.

Oh also I just loved Lex in his own right too on top of all this, not just because he used to be the phantom. But because he’s LEX.

It’s all very confusing, I hope I didn’t confuse you too much. XD

Oh, also:

When it came to me feeling that the phantom – or rather, the person who used to be him – was being portrayed too lightly by the narrative given his history – Chasing Phantoms renders completely obsolete any possible argument about the series “skewering one’s perception of the phantom too far off-base”. It renders completely obsolete any possibility that the author was not “aware” of the true depths of his despicableness when going for this angle.

Chasing Phantoms’ existence, to me, makes Lifting Spirits all the more awesome, and strengthens its power. “The Phantom that Lex used to be was ruthless and terrible and awful and caused so much damage and destruction” is not just an offhand acknowledgement that gets referenced back to – it was portrayed firsthand in the first fic, in the series itself. It’s like it goes out of its way to drive home that undeniable fact that the phantom REALLY sucks, and yet Lifting Spirits exists anyway, even with FULL acknowledgement of that. I love that sooo much. It just straight up embraces it and doesn’t try to hide a damn thing. This was who he used to be. This is who he is now. That’s just how it is.

As already established, Chasing Phantoms felt like another universe when I read Lifting Spirits – way before then, even. It was SO hard for me to remember that, he was in fact, actually portrayed in a negative light. It’s actually really great to me that the series didn’t start with Haunted Specters – it did not seek to make the phantom sympathetic or whatnot from the start. He gets to clown around as the villain he truly is for an entire fic before any transition over to protagonist even begins to take place. The story doesn’t briefly go “yeah so we all know the phantom is bad and all obviously but…” and moves straight on, it spends a LONG time elaborating on HOW bad the phantom is back at the very start before proceeding on to anything else.

By the way, I’m aware it would be stupid to make arguments about “not knowing the full extent of how sucky the phantom is” purely on the basis of it not being demonstrated firsthand if that was the case, because like, everyone already knows, so we don’t need to be shown. But I’m merely pointing out how cool I find it that this series does demonstrate it firsthand anyway, because it just further crushes such potential arguments.

If Chasing Phantoms did not exist it would be almost easy to trick oneself into thinking that the full extent of the phantom’s villainy was not truly being acknowledged by the story, given Lex’s portrayal by the narrative (despite him being a “new person”, the fact remains that he was the phantom.) The Phantom is – was - very much a villain, and we know very clearly that the current portrayal of that man who used to be him doesn’t minimise that.

There was another big thing I wanted to talk about connected to much I’ve discussed in this post, but I’ll have to leave it for the next one! I had to cut sooo much from this I’m sorry, I actually did have a bunch of small comments from the beginning of Lifting Spirits. Well, until the next post, which will also get to the middle of the fic too. ^_^

#long post #if this is all over the place it was because my thoughts were all over the place sdjsdnkjsdkj #ghhhh

4 notes · View notes

toomanysurveys9 · 6 years ago

Text

Is your window in your room open? no, it is not open. we always have the a/c on so that would be pointless. Do you like blue cheese? i’ve never actually tried it but it doesn’t sound appealing. Have you ever smoked? nope. Do you own a gun? i do not. my dad and jacob own several, though.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? american i guess. that’s probably just because it’s what i’m used to though.

Do you get nervous before going to a doctors appointment? yeah. especially when pregnant. i’m always nervous until i hear ellie’s heartbeat. and until i know i don’t have to get undressed from the waist down. those appointments will be here before i know it.. What do you think of hot dogs? i don’t really like them. but i’ll eat them if i have no other options. Favorite Christmas movie? oh man. i don’t even know. there are so many good ones. What do you prefer to drink in the morning or nothing? usually milk or orange juice. Do you hate celebrities with big boobs and have had plastic surgery? no, i do not hate them. it literally has zero effect on me.

Do you have a favorite piece of jewelry? wedding and engagement ring, which did end up being found. Favorite hobby? my only hobby these days seems to be hanging out with wy. lol. which is definitely a favorite! also i love reading. i want to get a library card again soon. What’s the one thing you hate about yourself? the awkward/anxious/shy parts of my personality. Current worry? if i should confront vanessa or not and whether that would piss her off. but letting people think jacob and i are horrible to her, or are keeping wyatt away from her when we’re not, is going to seriously piss me off. every time she asks us to go over, i go. most of the time when i dropped off money when we were staying in her trailer, i would take wyatt in to see her and/or tom. i didn’t have to. i didn’t have to go over when she asked. she never came to see him really since he was a newborn. always me going there. i’m not doing it anymore. Do you own slippers? i do not. i don’t see the point. Would you ever want to be a pirate? i did once upon a time (i was a lot younger and going through a phase). i don’t want to be anymore though. Where would you like to go? italy would be cool.. What type of songs do you sing in the shower? whatever song comes on my ipod that i know the words to. If you could make everything on earth one color, what would you choose? that would be horrible. and boring. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? i’ve never slept on them so can’t say. How do you bring in the new year? with my family (jacob and wyatt at least, but usually my parents, siblings, and grandparents are also there). Favorite place to be? anywhere with wyatt is really okay with me. Would you rather live in 1980 or 2080? 2080 seems.. i don’t know. so unfathomable. i guess i would rather live in 1980... Favorite color? black, blue, and i still like gray. What color of shirt are you wearing? mostly a dark gray color. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? wyatt made a cute little sound when he woke up for a minute. What artist to do you find yourself singing a lot of? there’s not really one i sing more than the others... Can you whistle? not well, no. Where do you wish you were right now? i wish i could fall asleep but my mind is racing so i can’t. When you were younger, did you ever have cartoon sheets? yes. i know i had barney and winnie the pooh when i was super young. and i remember scooby doo as well. What’s in your pocket right now? no pockets. i’m in pajama pants. Do you love where you live? not the city, but i do love our house quite a bit. Do you care what strangers think about you? i mean.. i guess to some extent, but mostly no. Do you use any acne medication? i do not. Do you know when it’s just a little crush vs. true love? yeah. it’s a pretty obvious difference. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, ‘He loves me, he loves me not? lol, when i was a lot younger than i am now. Are you a small town girl, or from the big city? closer to a small town girl. Do you ever look in the mirror and are surprised by how good you look? no. i can’t say i’ve ever had that experience.

Do you ever look in the mirror and feel revolted? ugh. yes. story of my life. only thing i don’t hate about my appearance is my baby bump. Do you have a hard time talking to people? yes. which is why i don’t really have friends. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? yeah. my grandpa’s brother is. he lives in a group home and is on a bunch of medications. he’s pretty out of it most of the time because of them, and you don’t always know what he’s talking about when he speaks. he plays guitar really well though and makes his own songs up, and it’s so much fun to listen to him. What’s something somebody can do to make you hate them instantly? say something horrible about my kids. Do you like it when you find yourself in a conflict? definitely not. yet i keep finding myself in it because people can’t move on from shit a year ago. Are you emotional or very stoic? definitely emotional. How late do you go to bed during summer nights? i’m usually in bed by like now. but i can’t make my mind stop tonight. Are you feminine, masculine, or quite androgynous? i guess i’m more feminine but i don’t know. What’s the first red object you see in the room? wyatt’s red shirt that he is wearing. Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? the last actual conversation was about my one year old cousin’s birthday party with my mom. she was asking how it went. i have texted jade since then (about the situation with jacob’s mom and basically that entire side of the family) but she was probably sleeping so she didn’t reply. i also texted jake asking if he was coming up to bed soon so i could go bathroom, but he didn’t respond by text. he just came upstairs. Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? yup. Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? we have a mailbox again! What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet? phe. she’s my pup. :) Have you ever had an ear infection? yes. i was getting them pretty often for a little bit right before and after i had wyatt. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? eh. don’t really care about watching tv right now. Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? nope. tonight (on facebook) was the most we’ve talked in awhile. Someone messages you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? depends who it is and what it’s about. but probably not. Is there anything you need to remember to do before the day ends? the day is pretty well over, so no. Do your parents have any authority over who you date? as an adult, no. How many different shades of nail polish do you have? none. i got rid of all my old makeup, including the few nail polishes i did have. What did you have for breakfast this morning? yesterday (it’s 12:08 am which is way too early for breakfast), i didn’t eat breakfast. Are you lucky enough to have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? we actually do now. Are you the type to wake up before the sun has even risen? noooooo. Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? i have not.

Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. i could but i already did a little mini rant so we’ll just leave it at that. Have you seen any films with Judy Garland in them?: the wizard of oz. that is all though. How did you feel when you woke up today? Why? i was tired yesterday. i haven’t slept yet since then. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? kayla. When was the last time you saw them? july 14th for erin’s 16th birthday party. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? not really friends... What are you listening to? jake is watching youtube videos. i don’t know what about. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? regular. i don’t really like any diet sodas. Do you like seafood? i do not. Are you craving anything right now? eh. nothing super specific, no.

Do you dress appropriately for your age? i think so. with the exception of some of my shirts maybe. today i wore a five nights at freddy’s shirt... If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you buy them? noooo. How long is your hair? if it’s totallly straight it goes slightly past my breasts. if not, it kind of just rests on them. Do you like your neighbors? don’t really know my neighbors. my grandparents have talked to them and seem to like them though. What’s your school motto? no longer in school. Has a bird ever flown into your window? when we lived in the house before the trailers one did. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? dada i think my mom has said. How old were you when you learned to walk? i don’t know. What was your first pet’s name? first pet that was actually mine was named angel. How many kids were in your class in kindergarten? i don’t remember. Who was your best friend in elementary? leslie. juliet. ariel. those were the three main ones.. Who was the best athlete in your freshman class? don’t know. i’ve never been into sports really. Where do you see yourself in a year? here. taking care of my kiddos. If you were able to change one thing about yourself, what would it be? this is stupid, but i would want to be more attractive for jacob so he wouldn’t tell his playstation friends that they wouldn’t find me attractive. Are you content just blending in with the crowd? yeah. i definitely don’t like standing out much.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

2 notes · View notes

emeraldwaves · 7 years ago

Text

Title: Unraveled Rating: T Word Count: 1,535 AO3 Summary: The morning sky was bright white, the palest of blues, but Hajime knew it wouldn't stay that way for very long. The sun's golden rays kissed the horizon, curling over the edge of the lake. The day was breaking; a day he'd hoped would never come.

Full fic under the the cut!! @its-love-u-asshole @youaremynewdream and @liziscribbles read this over for me while i freaked out so thank you! <3

The morning sky was bright white, the palest of blues, but Hajime knew it wouldn't stay that way for very long. The sun's golden rays kissed the horizon, curling over the edge of the lake. The day was breaking; a day he'd hoped would never come.

In front of him stood, Oikawa Tooru; his Prince, and very soon to be his King. The silver crown, which hooked over his slightly pointed ears, glittered against the gentle twinkle of the morning sun. His brown locks tickled the back of his neck, sweeping against his pale skin in the light breeze.

He looked uncharacteristically melancholy, his half-lidded eyes staring at the pale stone floating between his fingers. The tiny pebble hovered above his hand, the light reflecting off the shimmering surface. It highlighted Tooru's face, as if giving him a halo of light. He was stupidly beautiful; it was unfair.

The breeze picked up, creating ripples on the lake, Tooru's white and turquoise robe flapping against his lithe body. Hajime shivered, his sleeveless shirt not suited to the current weather. He pulled a long breath of fresh air into his nose. Clean. The lake smelled of pure water, like a fresh rainfall. The city air was dirtier, weighed down by magic and industry.

He pulled his leg up, his boot scratching against the ground, creating a long line in the dirt.

"Are you going to say anything," Tooru's voice was soft, but Hajime could hear the way the words slipped from his mouth and tumbled to the ground, weighted and heavy. "Hajime?" he asked, turning to face him.

Hajime closed his eyes, frog croaks, bird chirps and wind floated around him, drowning out the sound of his own breathing. What was there to say?

He opened his eyes, staring directly at Tooru's brown hues. His lips curled up into his signature smirk. Ah, much better. A face Hajime could deal with.

Tooru sighed, and stretched his hand out. He waggled his fingers, watching the pebble float over his fingers, following the direction of his hand. "I guess you wouldn't have anything to say," he teased. "How disappointing~" he hummed dramatically as he turned back to the lake.

He let the pebble fall to the earth, landing with the softest splash, before getting lost in the tiny waves lapping at the rock.

Hajime sighed, pressing his hands against the dirt as he stood up next to him. "What do you want me to say?" he chuckled.

"Iwaaaaaa~" he groaned, rolling his head back. "You're supposed to ask me to run away with you!"

Hajime chuckled and gently brought his hand down on Tooru's head. "Aren't we a little old for that?"

Wincing, Tooru stuck out his tongue. "It was worth a shot!" They both laughed, the sound reverberating through the air, floating around them before it dissipated into the sky. Gone.

It was a joke, but Tooru wasn't kidding. Hajime could see it in his eyes. If he had told Tooru he wanted to run, they would've run. Tooru would've shifted, and they would've flown away together before the sun fully came up over the horizon.

His eyes were older now, but they were the same brown orbs Hajime had been enthralled by as a child.

"I'm lost!"

"Follow me! I'll help you!"

He could almost hear the echoes of their childhood in his heart, the sound deafening, breaking his resolve. Oh how he wanted to grab Tooru's hand and run from the castle they could see in the distance.

Tooru closed the space between their hands, wrapping his bare fingers around Hajime's gloved ones. "We could," he whispered.

"No," Hajime shook his head, and raised Tooru's hand to his lips. He felt a small shock, against his lips. Nothing new. The massive amount of magic collected in Tooru's body often reacted with Hajime's very magic-less one. "We can't. You know that, Tooru."

Tooru's lips folded down into a pout, his cheeks puffing out as he yanked his hand away. "You're no fun anymore, Hajime. You're supposed to be my knight," he scoffed, folding his arms.

"Tooru..." Hajime rolled his eyes. "I am your knight. I will always be your knight. After today, it'll be an even more important job..."

"You better protect your King!" Tooru yelled. "There aren't many Dragon Kings left you know," he grinned, looking rather proud of himself.

"Yeah, and there'll be one less if you run away," Hajime scolded.

"Iwaaaaaa," he whined. "I wasn't actually going to run away."

Hajime raised his eyebrow at his Prince. "Don't lie."

"I’m not."

"Are."

"Are not."

"I'm gonna throw you in the lake."

"And then rescue me?" Tooru said, leaning closer to him with a dangerous smirk. Hajime pushed his face gently. It was too important of a day to actually give Tooru a fat lip. Not that he would've done that anyway.

"..." he sighed. "I just woke up-"

"'-and you're already making me tired, Tooru,'" Tooru teased, mimicking Hajime's tone. He burst out laughing, his hand clutching his stomach. Hajime kept his face deadpan, shaking his head back and forth, not amused. Still, this was better. This Tooru, Hajime could handle; playful, teasing, laughing Tooru. His favorite. It was so much easier then the sad look his features had held moments prior. "I'm sorry Hajime," he laughed. "It was too easy."

"Yeah, yeah," he groaned, folding his arms as he turned away from him. As the morning fog began to lift, Hajime could see tip of the castle spire on the horizon. The turquoise crystal sparkled in the distance, and Hajime knew it was calling to them. They were out of time.

"We should-" Hajime began to speak, but he stopped when he felt Tooru pressed against his back. His eyes buried against Hajime's shoulder, and he hooked his hands around his waist, clinging to him.

"Don't Hajime."

"Tooru," he whispered, his gloved hands unhooking Tooru's so he could turn around to face him. "We have to go back. This... all this... us. We have to stop."

"But-"

Hajime cupped Tooru's cheeks, gripping his face. "No. This is your kingdom, Tooru, nothing should be worth as much as it." Regardless of what he said, they both knew he didn't believe it.

"Then..." Tooru muttered, wrapping his arms around Hajime's hips. "Just let me have you for one more minute." He pulled their hips together, and Hajime thought Tooru would've yanked all his clothes off right there if he could've.

Instead, he settled for a kiss.

Hajime pulled their lips together, holding Tooru's face in place. He felt the spark again, the hair on his arms standing on end, the breeze tickling his sensitive skin. Kissing Tooru was thrilling, touching was even more so, as if his body was about to explode from the magic pent up inside. Tooru nipped at Hajime's lower lip, not quite ready to let go. "Promise me, Hajime. Even when you can never kiss me again, stay by my side," he whispered against his lips. It was a selfish request, but Tooru was always a little selfish when it came to Hajime.

"Oikawa Tooru," Hajime began, giving him another peck. "I promise I will dedicate my whole being, my whole heart, to you and you alone, for the rest of my life." He kissed him again, loving the small hum which slipped from Tooru's lips.

"I will be your knight for as long as I live."

"-I will be your knight for as long as I live." Tooru spoke the line right along with him. "You added to it," he mumbled against his lips, kissing him one more before reluctantly pulling away.

Hajime blushed. He'd made the same promise to be with and protect Tooru so many times, they could both recite the words by memory. This time however, Hajime had offered up his heart. "I thought... I should say it at least once..."

"Ahhhhh Hajime is so cute!" Tooru laughed, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, nuzzling his cheek.

"T-Tooru! Quit it! We... really have to get going!" he snapped, mostly embarrassed he'd actually said something so lame out loud.

"See," Tooru smirked, the sunrise illuminating the horizon. "You did have something to say."

Hajime froze, staring at the boy, or man now he supposed, he'd come to love so strongly. The wind blew his brown hair across his forehead. Tooru was about to become a king, but to Hajime he was so much more than that; a prince, an idiot, his best friend... the person he would die for.

"Heh," Hajime smiled, glancing to the ground. Tooru's face was blinding, too much for Hajime to look at directly. He was too weak. "Guess I did..."

Tooru brushed past him, stepping through the dirt to get to the small stone path which led back to their horses. "Should we go then?"

Eyes widening, Hajime was surprised Tooru had taken the first step. He had expected to drag him, kicking and screaming, back to the palace.

"We should," Hajime nodded, staring at Tooru’s back. The sad look was back on his face as his gaze fell upon the turquoise spire in the distance.

He supposed it really was time. It was time for Oikawa Tooru to become the new Dragon King.

#haikyuu!!#iwaoi #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #haikyuu!! fanfiction #Fantasy Au #Dragon AU #AU #chaptered #Unraveled #first iwaoi fic lol after years of saying i would do this i finally did

17 notes · View notes

wannawrite · 7 years ago

Text

Siloso Vibes

who?: Wanna One’s Ha Sungwoon genre: 🌸 type: bullet point, part of Christmas collab wink wonk blog navigator. • part of the collab with @onlyjihoonsand@hwinkinghwi • a day at Sentosa with Sungwoon + added Christmas spirit finally writing something for Sungwoon :”), never got a request for him before so I’m happy - Admin L posted late out of respect for Jonghyun. Admins will officially return on the 25/12 Rest in peace, king. you did well. forever and always in my heart.

• Sentosa • first, I need to explain what Sentosa is and what there is on that island • so Sentosa is an island off the coast of Singapore, linked to the mainland by a bridge • everything there is built on reclaimed land • which is basically throwing sand into the sea to form a platform • I think so • yeah • okay • ‘babe,’ someone says, waking you up from your sleep. ‘Come on, wake up.’ • oh, it’s Sungwoon • who let him into my house? • WHO • I NEED SLEEP • oh yeah, my parents are completely in love with him so I can understand why the gladly opened the door for him • Ha Sungwoon had your parents wrapped around his pinky finger • he finally took a trip back to your homeland after graduation • let me explain • you had flown to Seoul, South Korea to further your university education and there, you met Sungwoon • you guys started going out in Junior year • everyone shipped it • Daniel owed Jihoon $10 • Jaehwan was so touched, he composed multiple songs for both of you • and some were on his debut album • oooh • recently, the both of you had graduated university • CONGRATS TO THE CLASS OF 2017 • AND TO EVERYONE STILL STUDYING, KEEP GOING AND WORKING HARD • YOU GOT THIS • YOU WILL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE • burning the midnight oil writing papers and feasting on instant noodles at 2am was all worth it to hold that 4.0 GPA in your hands • uhh…maybe • possibly • I’m sure its GPA calculated there • sorry, no wifi to check right now :( • right after your graduation ceremony • you ran back to your dorm, packed up whatever was left and met Sungwoon in the campus carpark • he was decked out in full tourist attire • floral beach button down • board shorts • fanny pack securely tightened around his waist • and of course • he just HAD to wear his Birkenstocks • of all of his expensive shoes rotting in his house • his Birkenstocks • at least they weren’t Crocs • you were grateful for that • at least that • I have nothing against Birkenstocks • I guess they just aren’t my style • but Sungwoon still looked like a freaking buffet so you weren’t complaining • he’s probably that young guy who can pull of the ‘dad look’ really well • you know • random coloured t-shirt • or polo • jean shorts? kakis? • white high socks tucked into sports sneakers • or moccasins • maybe pairing Adidas socks with Nike running shoes • can’t forget that leather fanny pack • or a black dad hat • sometimes he would trade that for a snapback or sun hat • okay that’s enough visualising weird images • brain: Sungwoon with that Prince Eric black hair, golden circular spectacles, in a white button-down with the first few buttons open and tight-fitting black slacks • me: SCREAMS • THROWS MYSELF OUT OF A WINDOW • you know that iconic Jimin black hair part? yeah, that one. that would look SO good on Sungwoon • he’s sort of Jimin’s brother anyway • let’s move on • shall we? • Sungwoon as Prince Eric though • super frickin’ hot • ENOUGH • so you two threw your stuffed suitcases into your car trunk and sped off to Jaehwan’s mansion • that’ll be Sungwoon’s car’s house for the next month • some of your friends are there chilling out, still clad in graduation gowns • they’re like ‘what’ • after explaining, they wished you a safe journey and kissed both of you goodbye • Sungwoon left a 23-page journal on how to care for his car • in case Jaehwan had no idea • he was reassured when Minhyun mentioned he would be living with Jaehwan until his apartment was ready • Sungwoon’s car would be safe in Minhwan’s hands • hopefully • Jisung and Daniel drove the two of you to the airport • helping with the luggage and all • Jisung pushing Daniel on the trolley that’s actually meant for baggage • snapping pictures like fansites • ‘hi I’m starting a Sungwoon fansite, I’d like to call it Smolwoon.’ • angry chilli padi Sungwoon activated • he’s so small but spicy I love • ready for takeoff • taken off • RUN DANIEL RUN • is there a sungwoon fansite with that name? please link them if it exists • if not, feel free to take the name • or smallwoon • and tell me about it! • you and Sungwoon eventually get checked in and everything • after hugging Daniel and Jisung of course • video calling the rest of your friends to say goodbye • Jisung almost shed tears • wow • imagine of Seongwoo was there • drama time • flights are such a blessing, I personally love flying and travelling • slept on the flight in Seoul • woke up in Singapore • hELLO CHANGI AIRPORT IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN MY LOVE BEST AIRPORT IN THE WORLD • YOU’RE DOING GREAT CHANGI AIRPORT • it was so cute to see Sungwoon half stumble off the plane • because he had an amazing nap • he emerged still sleepy-eyed and clearly freshly awoken • I’m talking bed-head, trying to cover up his puffy face with glasses and a mask • but he looked refreshed and well-rested so all is well • it’s important to sleep properly! • says the one who stays up to 2am to watch Master Key • Master Key is really addicting, I’ve never been so whipped • you guys managed to get a cab • around 1am three days ago, you got to your house after Sungwoon was dropped off at his hotel • because your house didn’t exactly have a guest room and sleeping in your room was a huge no-no • so you called and talked to him until 2am • how the hell did he wake early enough to get from Ritz Carlton to your home • what even • Sungwoon wasn’t one to wake early • he loved his sleep • and his pre-bed skin-care routine • speaking of which, his skin was effortlessly glowing • hmm, must be a change of weather • ‘BABE!’ Sungwoon yelled, shaking your blanket-clad figure. ‘WAKE UP!’ • was he…okay? • why does he want to deprive me of sleep? isn’t he supposed to come and cuddle with me? • :( • oh! • IT’S TODAY • ‘Aren’t you excited?’ Sungwoon whines, sitting on the edge of your bed. ‘Today’s going to be so much fun!’ • ‘and tomorrow,’ you mumble, still half asleep. ‘Are you not jet lagged? I feel like I got run over by a truck.’ • SG translation: I kena truck langar • Sungwoon laughs, beaming brightly, sparkling like a total angel • ‘I am but I conquered all to come see you~’ • ROMANTIC • he’s such a hopeless romantic but pretends he isn’t • just a vibe • ‘see,’ he says, pulling up his Uber app to show you his new ride. ‘I even took an Uber here myself, and I spoke to the driver with slang and English.’ • you guys are probably using a mix of Korean and English to communicate btw • it’s so fun speaking in two languages • like you can interchange words into sentences • and no one around you will know what you’re saying • and when you speak dialect, it’s like your communicating in a secret code • for me at least • heh • you guys never had qualms speaking in both languages • for Sungwoon, who had pored over his English notes night after night so he could increase his fluency level, independently taking an Uber with a mainly English speaking driver was a huge deal • friendly reminder that English is not the only language in this world and people should not be obliged to learn/speak it. • it may be a commonly used language and more prominent but that still doesn’t mean everyone has to abandon their culture and switch to English • also, that Kpop, Jpop, Cpop, Cantopop, Bollywood, any other non-native English speaking idols/groups do not need to speak English to be valid • goes for anyone for that matter • :)))) • let people appreciate their cultures and languages • yay okay back to the story • the reason for Sungwoon’s excitement and eagerness • ahem..peculiar behaviour such as rising early • your itinerary for today was a day at Sentosa • more specifically, Universal Studios Singapore • can someone please go with me? • tomorrow would be Adventure Cove • should there be a part two for this? tell me, please • moving on… • it’s the most wonderful time of the year • to visit Universal Studios • well, the queues even at 10am in the morning proved you wrong • but we shall backtrack a little • how you got out of the house? • Sungwoon practically dragged you out of bed • threw you into the shower • saying that he would get your breakfast ready • you tried to battle the morning heat and wake up at the same time by taking an icy cold shower • WAKE UP • emerged refreshed and ready to roll • sort of • Sungwoon was sitting in the living room, talking to your parents • no sucking up needed to win their favour • especially since he helped to prepare your breakfast • ‘oh babe, you’re here! I packed your breakfast in a lunch box in case we didn’t have time.’ • so prepared I can’t • pulls a MOTHER • Sungwoon mum mode: activated • I know Jisung’s the mum but Sungwoon is probably the grandmother, mother or 帅叔叔 [handsome uncle] • flashback when Xuan described San E as 怪叔叔 [strange uncle] • I’m cackling • maybe Sungwoon could be a strange uncle too • eh • he strikes me as that • ‘see,’ he says, patting a stuffed tote black. ‘I even prepared all the things we could need. Umbrella, raincoat, sunscreen, moisturiser, bb cream…oh! This is a new kind of energy drink Jaehwan recommended!’ • hmmm….Jaehwan recommended • okay then… • your parents are SWOONING • WHAT A WELL-ORGANISED MAN • probably has an organiser in that tote • ‘uhh, okay. thanks, babe. so, mum and dad, we’ll be making a move.’ • your parents insist you update them every few hours • and they take a picture • like a prom picture • don’t blame them, they’ve only seen you and Sungwoon over Skype calls and Facetime • you guys hug them goodbye • ‘LET’S GO’ Sungwoon yells, tossing his tote into the backseat of your Rover • maybe some other car because Rovers are unreasonably expensive here • everything is unreasonably expensive here • ‘VROOM!’ • you speed off towards Sentosa. • in the ticketing queue, Sungwoon insists on applying a thick layer of sunblock • you hold his mirror • and then he does it on your face, purposely not blending it • asian beauty standards are like: • pls stop whitewashing • and idolising fair/white skin • dark skin is beautiful and should be deemed normal and acceptable too • anyway • at least he blended the cream properly before you approached the staff • Sungwoon couldn’t stop yelling excitedly as he entered the gates • he was amazed by every single little thing • CHRISTMAS SONGS • CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS • CHRISTMAS SPIRIT • santa hats everywhere • he does have Lotte World • but this was a whole new universe • ;) • Sungwoon’s hand envelopes yours and you two happily skip to the first ride • ‘what about Transformers?’ • ‘sure!’ • honestly, the queue for this ride is so ridiculous • luckily, Sungwoon keeps you entertained by taking a ton of Snapchat filtered selfies • Snow filters • making memes • Facetiming a tired Jihoon - time difference • who wishes he tagged along • he screams a lot during the ride • and screams after about how much fun he had • you two go on a couple more rides • got chased by a T-rex and got a bird’s eye view of the park • burnt to a crisp by a fire-breathing mummy before the roller coaster plunged backwards • went on a safari adventure and nearly got eaten by a crocodile • these are some of my favourite rides tbh • went along for a boat ride with Madagascar animals • ‘yo Sungwoon are you sure you’re tall enough to ride this?’ you tease playfully. • he pouts • yells a bit • before securing his red baseball cap on his head and confidently marching into the queue • ‘watch me.’ • ‘small is spicy.’ • after, you guys ended up buying ice cream • salted popcorn in a Minion container • Sungwoon calculated the expenses to the very cent • he’s either the guy to drop $1000 in a blink of an eye with no hesitation • or drop his friend off before the ERP [a system you pay - using cash card - to use a certain road via vehicle] because he wants to save that $2 • this happens to my friend irl lol ^ • you guys even purchase matching Santa hats • even though those at the mama shop are SO MUCH cheaper • Sungwoon persuades you to buy matching shirts too • ‘uhh are you really sure you want to buy that shirt for Guanlin?’ you questioned, pointing to the shirt in Sungwoon’s hands he got from the children’s section • ‘oh shush I know my son through and through, he’ll love it.’ • ‘….he’s almost 18 soon-‘ • ‘nope!’ Sungwoon exclaims, clamping a hand over your mouth. ‘No, no. His 8th birthday just passed.’ • poor Guanlin • Sungwoon and Jisung are going to feed him banana milk for the rest of his life • ‘what about Daehwi? He’s your son too.’ you point out his bias • ‘…well, he’s Jisung’s son right now because the sun is still out but I should buy my babies matching shirts too right?’ • ‘babe, help me choose one!’ • you guys spend at least half an hour haggling over shirts • which colour one would match Daehwi’s skin more? • wait, this is the exact colour of Guanlin’s eyes! • …this t-rex reminds me a lot of my sons • bet, Guanlin looks like this when he wakes up • *ends up spending much more than anticipated* • Sungwoon takes a brave step and agrees to ride the Battlestar Galactica: Human Vs Cylon • two of the major roller coasters here • ‘woon, are you sure you’re over 125cm? you need to measure your height again…’ • *167cm* • ‘HAH’ he grins triumphantly • sighs • is confident • and brags about how he loves roller coasters • until he’s standing behind the metal gate, waiting for the cars to come back and all the screams from the previous riders can be heard • ‘uh babe are you sure you want to sit in the first carriage? I can always ask them to change our seats if you’re scared.’ • *bats eyelids* • you nearly fall for it • then, you gently push him to take his seat • ‘WAIT NO MY THING ISN’T CLICKING SHUT’ • a staff has to help him secure his barrier • he takes a deep breath • ‘I’m more nervous then when it was my debut-‘ • *yelling begins* • *yelling pauses* • Sungwoon nearly passes out • after,,, ‘THAT WAS SO FUN LET’S GO AGAIN BABE.’ • you guys stay there until almost closing time • cue staff trying to chase you out • ‘the night is still young.’ • so, you take a trip to Siloso Beach to watch the sunset • munching on fries • you rest your head in Sungwoon’s lap, his hands playing with your hair • the waves crash against the beach, the sunlight glimmers against your skin • ‘this is so different from Korea…’ Sungwoon mutters, almost to himself • he kisses your forehead affectionately, causing a smile to pull at your lips • ‘I like spending this kind of Christmas with you too.’

#wanna one #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 #produce 101 scenarios #yoon jisung #ha sungwoon #hwang minhyun #ong seongwoo #kim jaehwan #kang daniel #park jihoon #park woojin #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #lai guanlin

32 notes · View notes

ridiasfangirlings · 8 years ago

Text

Title: Still Point (9/12)

Fandom: K Project

External: AO3 / ff.net

Ratings/Warnings: T

Notes: A wild update appears! Getting into the homestretch at last~

XV. slit throat

Fushimi woke up with the tip of a sword at his throat.

It had been two months since he'd left the United Colors – two months of living like a scavenger off a larger animal's kill, doing what he could to assist the Green army as they continued to swallow up the country in bits and pieces. He'd been lucky enough to fall in with a mercenary currently under Hisui's employ, a woman who had no problem sharing her work with him provided she was given the proper payment in the end. Fushimi hadn't cared much about that – enough to live on was all he asked, no need for monetary payments when all he was after was glory, recognition, anything that might help get the attention of Hisui Nagare.

That being his objective, Fushimi supposed he should have felt something like relief when he was awakened in his hotel room in a newly-occupied town by Mishakuji Yukari leaning over him with a smile dangerous enough that Fushimi found his hands instinctively reaching for his weapons.

Not that it would matter, he supposed. He'd heard about Yukari, Hisui Nagare's right hand man. It was easy to tell at a glance that Yukari was far quicker and more skilled than he was, and even if Fushimi managed to grab a knife there would be no time to throw it before Yukari cut his throat.

“I assume you're here to kill me.” His own voice sounded remarkably calm for someone with a sword at his neck and in another situation Fushimi thought he might have laughed about it. Yukari smiled and pressed the blade just a bit closer, enough to draw a thin line of blood that dripped wet and sticky down Fushimi's neck.

“Of course not.” In a single smooth motion Yukari suddenly sheathed his sword, holding out one gloved hand to Fushimi. “I hear you've done a lot of work for our General's cause, Saruhiko-chan. I'm here to bring you your reward.”

“I didn't ask for a reward.” Fushimi eyed the offered hand warily, still not moving. The moonlight reflected off the smile on Yukari's face, a snake offering its friendship, and Fushimi knew better than to trust in such things.

(He'd always known better, and yet he'd ended up here all the same.)

“Ah, but I'm certain you hoped for it,” Yukari replied. “Nagare-chan wishes to meet with you, Saruhiko-chan. That's impressive, isn't it?”

Fushimi's heart beat suddenly heavy against his chest and he feigned disinterest as he got to his feet on his own, ignoring Yukari's hand.

“I guess.” Fushimi shrugged, eying Yukari warily. “I would have expected him to come himself, if he was that interested.”

“Would you really?” Yukari's voice sounded genuinely curious but there was steel in his eyes, a blade disguised as a flower, and Fushimi kept his gaze steady and cold. “I suppose you'll have to settle for me as your welcoming committee. Unless you'd rather stay here, of course.”

“I'll come.” Fushimi shrugged again and gestured for Yukari to lead the way.

“Oh? Don't you have to pack your things?” Yukari said mildly. Fushimi cast a glance around the room, sparse and empty, and he couldn't help but laugh a bit to himself.

“This is enough.” Fushimi touched a hand against one of the pistols still holstered at his hip. “So? Are we going to talk about this all night?”

“Come along, then.” Yukari seemed amused by his response and made his way out the door without even bothering to glance back to see if Fushimi had followed.

The town was still and silent as they walked along streets lit only by a handful of flickering lamps. The telltale evidence of gunpowder and dried blood was still visible on the pavement, the Greens having only just occupied the town some two days prior with Fushimi's assistance. There were a handful of Green soldiers out patrolling who nodded and saluted at Yukari as they went by, clearly recognizing him even in the darkness.

“You have a car?” Fushimi asked as they neared the town gates. “Or are we walking all the way to your general?” He couldn't quite keep the displeasure out of his voice at the thought.

“Certainly not. How vulgar.” Yukari smirked slightly. “I came by plane.”

Fushimi managed to keep himself from showing any reaction to that. Planes were hard to come by in the United Armies – rumor had it there were a few at Mihashira, belonging to the Silver General and his men, but Shizume had been home to only one: a rusty modified crop duster that was only used in emergencies. Fushimi had been up in it exactly once, with Doumyoji at the helm, and he'd barely made it back to the ground before throwing up.

He noted that Yukari's plane looked at least somewhat safer, once they reached the spot where Yukari had left it on the flat grass just outside the town. It looked considerably newer and better maintained than the one Fushimi had been in and Yukari didn't hesitate at all as he climbed into the pilot's seat.

“My, Saruhiko-chan, you look so pale. Have you never flown before?” Yukari seemed amused by his expression and so Fushimi carefully masked it with indifference, swallowing down the bile that had already begun to creep its way up his throat.

He had come too far now to be defeated by a little nausea. Without another word Fushimi forced down the wave of dizziness and climbed into the plane.

“The trip should be short,” Yukari said conversationally as he began to start the plane. “Still, I would advise you to buckle yourself in. Nagare-chan would be displeased if I lost you so soon. He is very interested in meeting you, after all.” There was something like laughter in his eyes and Fushimi just clicked his tongue and looked away, buckling his seat belt and his hands white gripping the edge of the plane as the engine sputtered to life.

The ascent into the sky was quicker than expected, wind whistling by Fushimi's ears as they rose up into the clouds. Looking down he could just make out the landscape below, small lights indicating towns and farmland that dotted the ground like constructs in a child's diorama. It was a like a living map, destinations laid out end upon end without any markings between, and Fushimi swallowed hard.

Yukari glanced at him but made no comment, focused on his flying and probably unable to be heard over the roar of the engine regardless. Fushimi kept his head turned away and tried to keep his breathing steady.

Somewhere dimly in the back of his mind he could still hear Misaki's voice, could still see those eyes shining back at him from the window seat of a train.

“Saruhiko, look! You can see everything out there. Hey, look at that! Saruhiko, are you looking?”

That idiot had gotten so excited over a simple train ride. Fushimi felt something hot and painful well up in his chest and his hand reached up on conditioned reflex, scratching his scars. He tried not to think about how Misaki would no doubt have been even more thrilled by this, flying through the night sky with the moon shining above.

“Stay here, okay?” The memory of Misaki's face from that cold morning that seemed so long ago now wouldn't leave his mind. Misaki's eyes shining with reflected light from the rising sun and from unshed tears, hands around Fushimi's throat but too weak to tighten.

There hadn't been anything he could've said at that time anyway. Fushimi closed his eyes, took another steadying breath. It was a secret mission, after all. He and Munakata had discussed it thoroughly shortly before base camp had been attacked, contingencies upon contingencies. That was always how Munakata worked, Fushimi knew that. It hadn't been much of a surprise that the Captain had made the suggestion that if the situation turned too dire Fushimi would try his hand at infiltration, joining the Green army and waiting to take them apart from the inside.

He'd known that the dire situation had happened when he'd been unable to hold the city against the Green army’s attacks, had barely managed to get their own men out safely. Misaki's location had been unknown then, last seen running through town like an idiot for no apparent reason. At the time, exhausted and shaking in the trading post, trying to assess who had made it out and who hadn't, Fushimi had known deep down that the time for Munakata's plan had come.

But still...

Fushimi's hand dug into the wound on his chest again. His fingers felt cold even through his gloves and he could barely feel his face, the wind blowing chill around him. It reminded him of Munakata's humorless smile as he'd thrown Fushimi's fears back into his face, mocked the very trust that Munakata himself was placing in him.

In retrospect it was really no surprise that Munakata knew who his parents were, had no doubt known all along. Fushimi hadn't bothered to change his name, after all, and it wasn't as if those people hadn't double-crossed the United Armies the same as they had the Greens. Munakata had probably known from the moment Totsuka led Fushimi and Yata into camp all those years ago, the viper's child that Suoh Mikoto had invited into their nest.

It was all an act, of course. They'd intended to fight, intended to have Fushimi walk away. But the words of the play had been entirely different from what they had rehearsed and the questioning voices in the back of Fushimi's head wouldn't be silent.

Maybe it would have been better if Misaki had been able to close those hands around his throat properly. Traitors would only betray again, and no matter what he told himself Fushimi knew that he would never be anything more than that, not to Misaki, not to Munakata, not to anybody. He wasn't a hero. He had not joined the army to be a hero.

He'd joined the army because doing so had made Misaki smile and he'd even lost that in the end. So was there really a point in continuing this farce, in risking his life for a cause he had never had any interest in whatsoever. Fushimi leaned his head back, eyes half-closed as he let the frigid wind bite into his skin.

“We're beginning our descent. Are you all right, Saruhiko-chan? No motion sickness?” Yukari's voice could barely be heard above the engine and Fushimi answered with only a nod, hands braced against his seat as the plane circled lower and lower towards the ground.

“I'm fine.” Fushimi kept his words short and clipped. Yukari didn't reply but he seemed to be smiling as he carefully maneuvered them onto the ground. Fushimi had no idea how Yukari had known where to land; the clearing they were in was completely sparse and dark. He unbuckled his seatbelt and nearly stumbled as he stepped out of the plane, legs shaking more than he'd expected.

“Do you need a hand?” It sounded outwardly polite but Fushimi could hear the challenge lying beneath those words and he took only a moment to steady himself before stepping past Yukari to take in their surroundings.

“Is this where Hisui Nagare is going to meet us?” Fushimi didn't bother to disguise the distaste in his voice.

“Of course not. Nagare-chan is waiting further in. Follow me.” Yukari began to walk away from the plane and Fushimi followed behind.

“You don't intend to blindfold me?” He'd expected some kind of security, some way of obscuring the route to wherever Hisui Nagare was hiding.

“Would you like me too?” Yukari waved a hand languidly. “You're our precious comrade, Saruhiko-chan. Or so Nagare-chan says, anyway. After all, if there's any danger from you after seeing our secret base, well...there are ways of dealing with that beyond a simple blindfold.” He smiled, sharp as a blade, and Fushimi clicked his tongue again.

They stepped through a small thicket of trees and then out into the shining lights of a town. Fushimi tried to keep his eyes trained on Yukari's figure in front of him but as they walked through the gates he realized that he knew exactly where they were.

The Green General was hiding at Ashinaka.

Fushimi's mind was already racing as his eyes darted back and forth along the streets. Ashinaka had been taken by the Greens not long after he and Misaki had joined Homra, and he'd even been the one who had helped Kusanagi devise the strategy to take the town back. At the time he'd thought that the offensive had been ridiculously easy but he'd been infected by Homra's stupidity and had chalked it up to the inexperience of their enemies. Looking around at the town now, Fushimi could see that they were the ones who had been fooled.

Ashinaka was far along the edges of the United Army's territory. There was little remarkable about it, save the old university that took up a large spot of land in the center of the town. When Ashinaka had first been taken by the Greens Fushimi could remember Kusanagi saying how odd it had seemed, that they would focus on such a minor town that didn't even connect to the main railway line and had no large factories or refineries to speak of.

They'd left soldiers behind, of course, to keep an eye on things. Minor members of the rank and file, some Red and a few Blue Division members. They sent communication via radio to Shizume twice a week along with the rest of the troops stationed outside of camp. The communications were received by a member of the Blue Division, recorded on paper and given to Munakata. Communications duty rotated between members and it would have been easy to kill the men they'd left behind and use their equipment in order to impersonate them. Fushimi found himself wondering how long they'd been receiving communications from the Green army instead, under the guise of one of their own men.

A simple plan, now that he thought about it. What better way to disguise their home base than to allow it to be taken over by their own army and then won back by the enemy, assumed safe and left alone. Especially with the Colorless Guard making such bold movies elsewhere throughout the country, it would have been simple to retake a tiny little town in silence and secrecy, allowing the United Armies to assume Ashinaka was safe and still within their grasp when it was actually the den of the enemy.

“This way.” Yukari led him through an old wrought-iron gate into a courtyard overflowing with weeds.

“The university?” Fushimi murmured, eyes scanning the white brick building in front of him.

“Not quite.” Yukari was smiling again as he made his way to what looked like a small stone storage shed. He produced a key from his jacket and opened the iron door, revealing steps leading downward. Yukari took a lamp from beside the shed and began to walk down into the darkness, not bothering to look back to see if Fushimi had followed.

Fushimi took a step forward and then paused in the doorway, staring down. The stairs led to a what appeared to be some kind of underground tunnel that smelled of dirt and mold. It was illuminated by small pin lights along the wall and Fushimi could see places where pipes and vents stood out against the walls, allowing the air to circulate.

“Mining tunnels?” he murmured, almost to himself.

“Very good, Saruhiko-chan.” Yukari replied anyway. “At one point it was thought that there might be a vein of precious metals running underneath the university building. When it turned out to be only worthless stones the project was abandoned. Most of the work had already been done. It only took a few months for Nagare-chan to complete the rest of it.”

That would explain why they'd never been able to find him. Fushimi found himself unable to move as Yukari took a few more steps down into the darkness before finally stopping to look back at him.

“My, do you intend to turn back now, Saruhiko-chan?” Yukari's tone was pleasant and friendly but it was easy for Fushimi to hear the cunning beneath it. “Are you afraid of the dark?”

Fushimi almost found himself wanting to laugh, fists clenching hard. He could already feel his breath coming in short gasps, a memory of smoke filling his lungs, and his vision was blurring into scattered black spots.

Stupid. Fushimi grimaced, forced himself to take a step forward. He'd come too far to be defeated by the old fear now. There were far more frightening things than what lay underground and he was more than aware of that. Even so, his heart beat fast as he followed Yukari down into the dark.

Yukari began walking again, footsteps echoing hollowly as he descended the stairs with Fushimi following as steadily as he could manage. His eyes had already gotten used to the low light but there was an itch to his skin, his breathing coming faint and thin even as he forced himself to remain steady. He was already at a disadvantage, that was clear. He would need to communicate the location of the tunnels to someone, somehow, but if his treachery was discovered while he was underground he would have no way of escaping retribution if caught.

Fushimi found himself smiling slightly. No matter. He'd always been good at finding the exit in the dark on his own. That was why Munakata had chosen him for this, after all. He only needed to keep digging until he found the right tunnel.

“After you.” Yukari stopped at a metal gate blocking the opening to a larger tunnel. The door was ajar and Yukari stood off to one side, giving Fushimi just enough room to pass in front of him. Fushimi reached for the door handle, too aware of Yukari's presence at his back. There was no going back now. He stepped inside.

The gate led to a large open room with a curved roof. Unlike the outer tunnels this room was brightly lit by lamps along the walls and the inside had been fashioned as a sort of messy living area. There was a long low table in the center of the room with the same map of country Fushimi recognized from Munakata's war room, the table itself surrounded by cushions. There were two figures seated on cushions on either side of the table and a man in a wheelchair in between them.

“Fushimi Saruhiko.” Hisui Nagare smiled up at him and extended a hand. “Welcome.”

“Hisui Nagare.” Fushimi's tone was flat as he replied. He was dimly aware of Yukari striding past him to stand beside Hisui's wheelchair but Fushimi's eyes were fixed on the man who he'd only heard spoken about in rumors and whispers. Hisui's demeanor was deceptively pleasant, with thin fine features and tousled hair. He looked almost boyish sitting there in the wheelchair, like someone's child injured by the war. There was a blanket covering the lower half of his body and Fushimi suspected that the legs beneath were either mangled or missing entirely – lost in a bomb explosion during Hisui's attempted assassination of the Golden General ten years ago.

“Wait a second, Nagare, this is the guy?” The voice from Hisui's right made Fushimi's gaze shift and he raised an eyebrow in surprise at the speaker. It was a kid, maybe thirteen years old with light-colored hair, and there was something familiar about him that made a sudden shiver run through Fushimi's body, as if the rest of him was coming to a realization that his mind hadn't managed to grasp yet. “He's with the--”

“Now, now, Sukuna.” The man in black seated to Hisui's left waved a hand carelessly. There was a can of beer in his other hand and he looked like someone's drunk uncle who had wandered in on accident. “Saruhiko here has been helping us out the last month or so, you know?”

“But he's with those guys at Shizume!” Sukuna snapped, pointing a finger in Fushimi's direction. Something in Fushimi's mind seemed to snap into place and in that moment he knew what it was, where he'd seen that kid before.

The scrawny war orphan that Misaki had run into the day they'd first arrived in Shizume.

Fushimi's mind was already working so fast he felt almost breathless, putting the pieces together. He had seen Sukuna multiple times after that first meeting and had never paid much mind to him, assuming no doubt like everyone else that the kid was just another brat made homeless by the war. A brat who was part of the Green army and had no doubt been spying on them all this time, using the same trick Fushimi himself had so long ago, in an occupied town when his only thought had been to keep himself and Misaki alive: running errands for the soldiers who all believed that he was just trying to survive and nothing more, foolishly giving up their own secrets without even realizing it.

It was so idiotically simple that Fushimi could have cursed himself for a fool if he hadn't been trying to keep his face impassive. Sukuna had no doubt been feeding information gleaned from soldiers in town for years, completely unfettered and unnoticed.

(And it was easy, far too easy, to imagine Totsuka Tatara being summoned into a darkened alleyway to help a frightened child only to find himself ambushed and cornered by other spies Sukuna had already smuggled into town, killed by his own foolish kindness.)

“I am aware of Saruhiko's former loyalties,” Hisui's calm voice broke into his thoughts and Fushimi swallowed down the anger building in his throat. Hisui's single visible eye rose to meet Fushimi's gaze and there was something dangerous in it that made Fushimi's blood freeze in his veins. “But anyone may join the Green army, if they wish to. I see you have seen the light of our cause at last.”

What cause? Fushimi felt the caustic reply rise in his throat and he swallowed the answer down. From what he'd managed to grasp from past scuffles, the Green Army's only 'cause' was uniting the world under their own banner.

“I guess,” he said instead with a languid shrug. “The United Armies failed. I just...” He pulled a knife from his sleeve and flipped it around so that he was grasping the blade as he offered it hilt-first to Hisui. “I just thought that if this war has to come to an end sometime, I'd rather be on the winning side.”

“A wise choice.” Hisui took the knife and Fushimi noted how Sukuna tensed as Hisui's hands closed around the hilt of the blade. “You will not be disappointed, Saruhiko. It is only a select few we allow into the inner circle.”

“And we should keep it that way,” Sukuna muttered under his breath.

“Quiet now, Sukuna.” Hisui seemed to smile slightly as he spoke and Sukuna's eyes lit up at his general's words. “In any case, Saruhiko, allow me to introduce my companions. You have already met Yukari...”

“Welcome.” Yukari gave a small wave and a wink.

“And this is Sukuna. He is a relative of mine who has joined our cause from a young age.” Hisui nodded at Sukuna, who sat up a bit straighter.

“That's right.” Sukuna gave Fushimi a cold glare. “Some of us have been on the right side from the beginning, you know.”

“And this is Iwa-san.” Hisui nodded to the man at his right. “Commander of the Grey Division.”

“Iwafune Tenkei.” The man inclined his head in Fushimi's direction, taking a long sip of his beer.

“The Grey...” Another chill, another piece falling into place, and his mind was on fire again with half-forgotten memories. A black-gloved hand pushing closed the door of a burning factory. A sniper on a hill, the bullet that took Misaki's eye before Fushimi's own shot had ended the sniper's life.

And so many books, ones that Kusanagi had loaned him, reports Munakata had suggested he read, that had made mention of the Grey Division. The Grey Division had once been the section of the United Colors in charge of espionage – and occasionally assassination, from what Fushimi could tell reading between the lines – and was supposed to have been wiped out in the same explosion that had left Hisui in a wheelchair, innocent victims of a madman's ambition.

Innocent victims, or so it had been recorded. But the details of the attempted assassination were vague at best in every book he'd read and Fushimi wondered if anyone would have noticed, in the chaotic mess of the aftermath, if the bodies left behind were the entirety of the Grey Division or if they were only servants and civilians left behind to take their places while the soldiers themselves staged their own quiet defection.

“The existence of the Grey Division is of course a closely guarded secret,” Hisui continued. “We are placing a great deal of trust in you to say this much, Saruhiko.”

“Mmm.” Fushimi nodded distractedly, mind still racing. Hisui regarded him intently for a moment and then spoke again.

“Iwa-san, Sukuna, Yukari. If the three of you have duties to attend to, I would like to speak with Saruhiko alone for a time.”

“But that's--” Sukuna immediately tried to protest and was stopped by Yukari's hand on his shoulder.

“Sukuna-chan,” Yukari scolded lightly and Sukuna turned away with a huff. “I'm sure Nagare-chan will be fine alone. After all, an assassin would have great difficulty getting very far out of this place alive, if he was so foolish as to make an attempt.”

It was a warning, not that Fushimi hadn't already figured that one out. It didn't matter in any case: he didn't have any illusions about getting out of this place alive and he hadn't from the start. He could still remember the grave look on Munakata's face when he'd proposed the mission, something unexpectedly brittle in Munakata's smile as he'd noted that hopefully there would be no need for such a precaution anyway.

It all faded though, the memory indelibly linked to that other memory of Munakata's cold and calculating smile as he'd thrown Fushimi's loyalty back in his face, the act that Fushimi still couldn't be certain if had really had been all that fake. Fushimi kept his face calm and his breathing steady as Hisui's companions emptied the room, leaving him alone with the Green General.

“Sit, Saruhiko.” Hisui gestured towards the cushions surrounding the table. Fushimi hesitated, momentary, barely perceptible, but Hisui noticed anyway. “There is nothing to fear. While you are in this place I have full trust in you, so long as you prove worthy of it.”

'So long as you prove worthy of it,' huh? Fushimi suppressed a tongue click and settled himself down on the cushion opposite Hisui.

“Surely you are wondering why I would allow you here, having belonged to the United Colors,” Hisui said serenely, his eyes bright on the map between them. Much of it was marked out in green and grey, and Fushimi's eyes involuntarily followed the line of Iwafune's retreat out the door.

“I suppose.” There wasn't much point in lying. Hisui's expression was open, almost childlike, but there was a keenness behind his eyes that made it clear that deceiving this man was no easy matter.

Hisui Nagare had once been the youngest ever Captain in the United Colors army, after all. He'd inherited the position from his late father and had won the trust and loyalty of his men in only a few short months. When the defection had occurred no one had expected any treachery from that corner until it was too late.

“You could say I considered it somewhat of an apology to you,” Hisui continued and Fushimi looked up at him in confusion. Hisui's fingers lightly touched the edges of the map, wrinkling the corners. “We have gained much territory of late. I expect all of this will be mine before long.”

The words were the sort of thing Fushimi would have expected from a dictator or a madman but the tone was simple and matter-of-fact, as if Hisui was only stating the movement of the tides or the position of the stars.

“What do you intend to do with all of it then?” He didn't exactly wonder but Fushimi felt as though it would be something a person in his position would ask.

“Nothing at all,” Hisui replied. His face was still simple and honest like a child's, but with a predator's eyes. “I desire nothing from things I have obtained. I simply wish to give instead – to give the freedom to the people of these lands that they have so lacked.”

“By conquering them?” Fushimi's mind warned him against the words too late but Hisui didn't seem offended at all.

“By liberating them,” Hisui said. “After all, there has been war in this land for decades, ever since the Colorless Guard stepped upon our shores. But it seemed to me that even should the Colorless Guard and their general be defeated there would still be war. History has taught us that well – a vast country, rich and prosperous...surely more will come from the outside to sit at our gates. That being the case, I felt that it was wisest to release the army's grip on this land all together in order to obtain true freedom.”

Fushimi didn't answer, eyes hooded and shoulders hunched.

“Of course, such a thing cannot be obtained easily,” Hisui continued. “It was regrettable that I needed to join forces with as unpredictable a man as the Colorless General but it was unavoidable for the greater good. Once all of this country is under my control there will be no more need for war. All will be equal and thus, true freedom will be gained at last.”

“Under your supervision, I'm sure,” Fushimi muttered under his breath. He knew he was walking a very fine ledge but Hisui didn't seem to mind his words at all. “What about those who dissent? Like the students who originally lived at this university...did they get to experience your 'true freedom' as well?”

“Of course,” Hisui said. “The quality of being free also contains the possibility of making the incorrect choice. The ones who chose to join hands with me of their own will are now part of my army.”

“And those who didn't?” Not like he didn't already know the answer, but Fushimi supposed he might as well say it.

“They received freedom as well. Of a sort.”

So you killed them. Fushimi swallowed down a bitter laugh. As if that's freedom at all. What a piece of shit plan.

“And as for you, Saruhiko...you also know of the freedom of choice, do you not?” Hisui said. “After all, you have also chosen to make war your profession, as your parents did, but in your own manner.”

Fushimi's head shot up, nerves suddenly on edge, and Hisui placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

“You need not fear it, Saruhiko.” Hisui smiled. “Your parents were dear friends of mine. It is due to your mother's diligence that I was able to find these tunnels, and your father's cunning which supplied the materials for many of our current explosives. I felt very disappointed when they chose the wrong path.”

His hands moved upward to cup Fushimi's head, cold palms against Fushimi's cheeks and Fushimi felt suddenly lightheaded, barely able to breathe.

“As I said before, this is my apology to you.” There was something almost hypnotic in Hisui's voice now and Fushimi thought he might be shaking. He was suddenly very aware of the darkness of the room, how low the ceiling, how stale the air. It was like being buried in the earth – the scar of Mikoto's coffin hovering over him, a single shadow with a long reach – and this time there truly was no clawing his way out. “Had I known of your existence at the time I would have taken you back with me in the aftermath. That punishment was intended for those with the power to make decisions, and you had none. I was deeply saddened when I learned of it later, that Fushimi Niki and Fushimi Kisa had a child who may have been caught in that fire. I was quite pleased later when I learned you had survived. I even sent Iwa-san to find you. He did not intend to lock you away in the fire at the factory. Had Suoh Mikoto not interfered, we would have taken you away as soon as it was safe to do so.”

Fushimi wanted to speak, to pull away, but Hisui's voice was soft and sincere and his grip almost gentle in a way that was nonetheless impossible to break.

“But now you have finally returned to me,” Hisui breathed. “I am eager to work with you, Saruhiko. The potential you hold is fascinating. I can see many possibilities within your eyes. I intend to use you well, if you will allow me. Will you pledge your loyalty to me? I will give you this freedom, to choose one more time.”

Fushimi swallowed hard, mouth suddenly dry. Hisui's single visible eye almost seemed to glow in the dim light of the room, holding him caught like a mouse trapped by a snake. Trying to collect his thoughts under the light of that gaze was like trying to swim through mud.

Dimly he remembered a cellar filled with smoke. He remembered a blackened sky and a locked door. Remembered Misaki's gaze gone distant, Munakata's smile the curve of a blade as he twisted the knife deeper with every word.

And beyond that, more – Mikoto's hand on his head, Munakata's eyes staring down at a coffin draped in red. Misaki's smile and a warehouse floor covered in stars.

The edges of the map were lined in grey, and Fushimi remembered the man in black whose bullet had left Misaki lying still and bloody in the grass, had ruined those eyes that had once been the light that led him out of the dark so long ago. Fushimi smiled thinly and let the lie fit snug in his mouth the same way he would fit a gun in his hand.

“I will.”

#Fushimi Saruhiko #sarumi #k project #fic #I was actually gonna post this last week #but I wanted to wait until rare pair week was over #three more chapters to go #remember back when this was supposed to be a drabble oh those innocent days #is anyone even still reading this at this point XD

17 notes · View notes

surveysonfleek · 7 years ago

Text

431.

Is your window in your room open? yes. Do you like blue cheese? not at all. i’ll always have some but then i’ll be reminded of how much i hate it. Have you ever smoked? yes. Do you own a gun? no.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? british because that’s what we were taught.

Do you get nervous before going to a doctors appointment? no unless i feel like it’s something serious. What do you think of hot dogs? they used to be my favourite food lmao. Favorite Christmas movie? elf. What do you prefer to drink in the morning or nothing? a huge glass of cold water. Do you hate celebrities with big boobs and have had plastic surgery? no lol, i couldn’t care less, it’s their body. Do you have a favorite piece of jewelry? not really tbh. Favorite hobby? eating out. What’s the one thing you hate about yourself? my laziness. Current worry? what my future will bring. Do you own slippers? yes. Would you ever want to be a pirate? no. Where would you like to go? japan and the bahamas. and then i’m officially done with traveling. What type of songs do you sing in the shower? none. If you could make everything on earth one color, what would you choose? i wouldn’t. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? i never have. maybe i should try it haha. How do you bring in the new year? usually parties. Favorite place to be? on vacation. Would you rather live in 1980 or 2080? 2080. but at my age now. Favorite color? pink and turquoise. What color of shirt are you wearing? white. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? the bachelorette haha. What artist to do you find yourself singing a lot of? the weeknd. Can you whistle? yes. Where do you wish you were right now? overseas. When you were younger, did you ever have cartoon sheets? i only remember having mickey mouse ones. What’s in your pocket right now? no pockets. Do you love where you live? i don’t love it. but i don’t hate it. Why does everybody seek popularity? What’s wrong with being original? i think it’s the opposite now. people are trying too hard to be original. Do you prefer hearing the blunt truth, or do you like sugarcoating? blunt. Do you care what strangers think about you? nah. Are you a girl that just wants to have fun? umm i guess but i don’t go out of my way to seek it. Are you a perfectionist, or only human, born to make mistakes? only human. Do you use any acne medication? no. but i have been getting random pimples lately. Do you know when it’s just a little crush vs. true love? now i do. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, ‘He loves me, he loves me not? haha yes. Are you a small town girl, or from the big city? neither. i’m from the burbs. Do you ever look in the mirror and are surprised by how good you look? haha very rarely but it’s happened. Do you ever look in the mirror and feel revolted? oh yeah. Do you have a hard time talking to people? not really unless they’re just not that social. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? no. What’s something somebody can do to make you hate them instantly? be rude to people they don’t know. Do you like it when you find yourself in a conflict? i don’t like it lol. Are you emotional or very stoic? in between. How late do you go to bed during summer nights? it depends what i do at night. Why do girls like six-packs? What’s wrong with a soft pillowy tummy? not all girls like six packs, let’s be real. Are you feminine, masculine, or quite androgynous? fem. What’s the first red object you see in the room? lipstick. Is sex different than making love? hell yeah. This time last year, what was happening in your life? nothing really. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? i’ve had pepsi. Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? my boyfriend, just about how we’re both having boring nights. Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? yes. Do you bathe your pets regularly? my mum bathes him regularly. Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? mailbox. What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet? yeah my dog. Have you ever had an ear infection? yes. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? idk. something new, funny and 20 mins long. i can’t seem to concentrate with 40 min eps nowadays. Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? yes. two weeks ago? Someone messages you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? depends who it is. Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? i’ve noticed i’ve been doing it recently i have no idea why. Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration? no. Is there anything you need to remember to do before the day ends? no. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? if i’m at home i’ll blast it. in public i need to hear surrounding noises. What’s your favorite online radio site? um, pandora until it was removed in australia :( so spotify now. Do your parents have any authority over who you date? no. How many different shades of nail polish do you have? a ton, i have two proper shelves of them. What did you have for breakfast this morning? dumplings. Are you lucky enough to have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? no. Are you the type to wake up before the sun has even risen? no. Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? no.

Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. no. What colour is the soap in your bathroom? Does it have a specific scent? yellow. it smells like honey. Do you have a favorite towel? What color is it? umm blue. Have you seen any films with Judy Garland in them?: just the one. How did you feel when you woke up today? Why? not bad. In your favorite TV show, which character is your favorite? Why? michael scott. because he’s hilarious. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? bek. When was the last time you saw them? last week. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? no. What was your lowest mark on your previous report card? i’ve been out of school forever. but i think it was a c. What are you listening to? the bachelorette. What year are you/did you graduate? 2013. Are you obsessed with anything? no. Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? oooh it’s a toughie. probably waffles. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? non diet. Do you like seafood? loooove. Are you craving anything right now? food.

Do you dress appropriately for your age? yes. Can you speak any other languages? kinda. If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you buy them? i’d try it. but then again, i haven’t had mcdonalds in months. How long is your hair? pretty long. Do you like your neighbors? they’re okay, everyone keeps to themselves. What’s your school motto? no more school. Has a bird ever flown into your window? no. there’s like a screen on it. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? mama. How old were you when you learned to walk? one maybe? What was your first pet’s name? dopey. How many kids were in your class in kindergarten? 30? idk. Who was your best friend in elementary? pearl. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? mr collins. Who was the best athlete in your freshman class? chris. What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? ummm. i forgot his name, remember his face. Where do you see yourself in a year? hopefully further than i am right now. If you were able to change one thing about yourself, what would it be? my lifestyle. Are you content just blending in with the crowd? yes, for sure. i hate attention.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

0 notes

ashswritingplace · 7 years ago

Text

The Darkened Past

A short story I wrote as an introduction to a sci-fi novel I may or may never finish. This one’s about a time travel attempt that goes terribly wrong, and a modern-day American guy being whipped back to the Middle Ages.

The Darkened Past

It had been ages since the divorce was finalized, but Timothy Burns still found it harder to breathe every day. His affair had been six years ago, a small thing that he had never intended to last as long as it did. At first, when Theresa found out about it, he had been hopeful they could work on their differences. He didn’t really have a reason for cheating on his wife, he had just needed something new, something different. But, as time went on, Tim became more aware that his relationship would never be what it once was.

He missed her. Oh God did he miss her. Every morning he woke up to that same lonely bed, and every night he came home drunk to it. His friends told him that if he didn’t get over it soon, he’d drink himself into a coma. Tim could only hope for such a respite.

But recently, Tim had heard of some scientist in the United Kingdom. This man, some Drew Schroter or something, was working on the world’s first time machine. It was in the finishing stages apparently, and Tim would stop at nothing to get his life back. He bought the ticket from New York to Manchester, and he made preparations to go see this man. This was his only hope of undoing his mistakes.

~~~

It was a crisp autumn day when Tim arrived. The twenty-nine-year-old had been expecting the building at this address to be large and white and reminiscent of the laboratories he’d seen in sci-fi movies all his life. Rather, this building looked little more than an apartment—no, a flat as they were called here. The door had several cracks in it, two of the windows had missing panes, spiderwebs hung from the edges of the roof; Tim for a moment hoped this place was just preparing for Halloween a month early.

He rapped his knuckles against the splintering wood of the door and waited a few moments. There was no answer, and no sign of a doorbell. Tim tried to peer into the closest window, but the shades were drawn, and he could scarcely make out anything from the slit between them. From the reflection, he could see the bags under his dark eyes. His black hair, short as it was, was still messy and fell over his brows. To hopefully make a better impression, he wiped it from his face. Tim waited some more, even tried calling “Hello?” in both his own voice and a feigned British one, wondering if it would make a difference.

Just as Tim was getting ready to leave, he heard the door squeal open. He turned sharply and saw an old woman. Her eyes were small and squinted, and her pale and wrinkled skin suggested she might have been a great-great-grandmother. Her hair was white and fraying, and her clothes reminded Tim of an old witch, all black and dirty with questionable stains. He took an unconscious step back.

“I’m looking for Mr. Drew Schroter?” Tim tried to smile and maintain eye contact with the intimidating woman.

She rolled her eyes. “Yer lookin’ at ‘er,” she huffed, as if used to people mistaking her gender.

“Oh,” Tim mumbled, stepping away again. Briefly he considered bolting from this nightmare, but he remembered Theresa, and he regained his resolve. He needed to do this for her, for them. He cleared his throat. “Ma’am, I’ve heard that you were preparing a time machine, but could not find anyone willing to try it. That’s because the authorities have not given you permission to operate it since you have yet to be able to bring anything back. Is that right?”

Drew crossed her small arms over her sagging chest. “Where’d ya hear that?”

“I heard it from a friend,” Tim said, only just realizing that he was going off of what one of his drinking buddies had told him. He had done his homework as best he could, but couldn’t find anything to do with this woman and time travel. He’d flown here in desperation, but suddenly he thought maybe this was a dumb idea all along.

Drew seemed to consider the man. “You ain’t lookin’ to come back?” she asked.

Tim considered her words for a moment. Finally, he replied, “No.” The past six years had been empty without his wife anyway; what did it matter if he never got them back?

Drew retreated into her flat, shuffling up a long flight of stairs and walking into one of two opened doors. Tim stood there for a moment, wondering whether he should follow. He finally entered the building, closing the door behind him, and tried to keep up with the quick elder.

Her apartment was as shoddy as he could have guessed. Even more spiderwebs had woven their ways inside. In the main room stood a couch with more holes than cloth. Several desks were lined with stacks of papers and pens. The living room, if he could call it that, gave way to the small kitchen. Even standing several feet away, Tim could spot the cockroaches scurrying about. He could feel goosebumps crawling up his arms. For Theresa, he reminded himself.

“Ya comin’?” Drew called from the room beyond the kitchen. Tim hurried to catch up with her, stepping over bug corpses as he did.

He walked into a room that smelled suspiciously of sulfur. There were many bottles and flasks filled with different-colored liquids. A caged rat was on one of the desks, its form very still. A bird was flying around the room, muzzled. Tim flinched when he felt something rub against his legs, then relaxed slightly when he saw that it was only a cat. His eyes then fell on Drew, who was working a harness over a school chair.

“Sit.” She spoke with all the authority of a strict teacher, and Tim, the frightful student, didn’t dare disobey. He sat down on the chair, and he swore he could smell the cloud of dust it expelled. Fear darted up his spine once Drew lowered the harness, trapping him in the trusting hands of this madwoman.

She turned towards a computer beside the chair and pressed some buttons. Tim could not see the screen from his chair, but he saw the way its glow reflected in the woman’s dark eyes. This was something out of a horror movie, but still he was willing to risk it.

“Where?” Drew demanded.

“Huh?”

Her irritation was clear in her voice. “Where ya headed, ya birdbrain? I’ve not got all day.”

“Oh.” Tim drew in a breath. “February fourth, 2009.” The day he and Theresa had met.

Drew didn’t acknowledge his words, and for a minute Tim wasn’t sure she’d heard him. However, before he could repeat himself, the computer let off a blinding glow. “Eight years,” she mumbled. “Here we are.” And, with the pull of a lever, everything went black.

~~~

When Tim awoke it was early morning. The sun was just beginning its climb into the sky, and somewhere nearby he could hear birds singing a lovely chorus. The air smelled of something rotten and left an acidic taste in Tim's mouth. He wandered for a few minutes on a dirt path. It was quiet. Tim could not hear a single car driving by, a single child playing in the autumn morning, even a single dog barking. He looked around curiously, wondering if it had worked, wondering where he was.

Finally, he saw some buildings in the distance. These buildings were like few he had seen in person. They were old-looking things, as if Tim had stumbled upon some medieval fair.

Perhaps he had.

He had never cared for history, and his former job at the garage had never required much knowledge of it. It was just his luck to be sucked into some nerd fest.

The town was quiet, and dead. He found that odd. If this was a medieval fair, where were the people in costume? Where were the kids poking fun at accents, and where were the parents with cameras immortalizing this vacation?

Tim wandered around a bit more. For someone who did not like history, he had to admire the craftsmanship of the buildings. They must have been built centuries ago, and were still standing, some even perfectly. He wondered where he was, and decided that he would take Theresa here, once he found her.

Theresa.

Tim realized he was probably still in Europe. He’d need to find a car, or someone willing to drive him to the nearest airport.

The more the man walked, the more nervous he grew. He could not find anyone, and this town looked completely untouched since the tenth century or something. Maybe he was just in an abandoned place from the Middle Ages. That was it, he decided. He would just need to find a way to get to civilization.

As Tim was deciding which way to go, he finally saw someone. In the distance was a man of average stature. He was facing away from Tim, and so Tim could see his messy brown hair tied back in a ponytail. His dull tunic and leggings matched the era this town must have been from, reminding Tim that this had to have been a fair.

“Hey!”

Tim jogged to catch up to the man. The stranger turned to face him, and Tim was able to take in his features. His face was dirty and plain, except for his eyes. Curiously, they were shut, as if he were trapped in some kind of meditation.

“Hey,” Tim repeated. “I’m looking for someone with a car, or some way to get to an airport. Can you help me out?”

The other man stepped back, perplexed. “Sir,” he said evenly, “please slow your words. That accent; from whence do you hail?”

Tim had forgotten he was in the United Kingdom, and was only temporarily surprised by the man’s accent. He shook his head. “America,” he answered. “I thought you all knew our accents from Hollywood.”

But this seemed to confuse the man more. “America?” he repeated. “Is that in Asia? I have never heard of such a place. I pride myself on my knowledge of our maps, but never have I come across America. Hollywood, is that from whence you come?”

Tim stared blankly at this man for a long while. He hesitated, trying to figure out how to respond. A man who didn’t know of America? Did he live under a rock?

“It’s not in Asia,” he finally answered. “It’s in… America. You know? North America? I’m from the United States. New York, surely you know of New York.”

But the confused expression on the man’s face answered Tim’s question. “York, yes,” he said slowly. “The city is several days away by horse. You are very lost.”

“Where… am I?”

“You are just outside of Winchester, in Andover.”

Tim stepped back. His hands started shaking and his voice broke as he asked his next question: “What year is it?”

The man’s brows lowered. He cocked his head just slightly, never opening his eyes. “Are you well, sir?”

“Just… Please, just answer the question.”

“The year is 1206.”

~~~

Tim’s airways were closing in on him. He started shaking violently. Tears pricked at his eyes, and his voice quivered when he spoke. “You’re kidding,” he accused. His voice was cold, clutching. “You’re kidding,” he repeated. “Now tell me where the airport is.”

The man took another step back. “I advise you calm yourself,” he said. “How much had you to drink tonight?”

Tim’s hands clenched to fists. He felt that he might punch this man in another few minutes. He hadn’t drunk at all in days, not since he’d had the hope of finding his Theresa again. Now, he had the overwhelming urge to down several dozen shots of vodka. Even then he probably would not hallucinate a nightmare worse than this.

“What is your name?” The man asked, breaking Tim from his thoughts. “The apothecary is out of town currently, but I may fetch--”

“What the fuck is an apothecary?” Tim interrupted. “Speak English, dammit! I’m not in the mood for this.”

The man hesitated. “What ails you?” he asked.

“What ails me?” Tim repeated, voice rising. “What ails me. What ails me, ha! I fly all the way out to this backwards country for a chance to fix what I did years ago, and meet this lady out of some stupid fantasy horror book, and I get transported all the way back to the twelfth--no, thirteenth century, and the only person around is some fuck who’s telling me I’m unwell and who’s trying to send me to an apothecary, and he won’t even look at me dammit. What ails me. What doesn’t ail me?”

The other man was silent for a long time, considering Tim’s outburst. Then, with an even expression, he stepped closer to the stranger, almost getting in his face. “Did it never occur to you,” he breathed, "the reason I've not looked at you, the reason I've not opened my eyes to gaze upon this madman claiming he hails from a future, is because I am blind?”

Tim stopped in his tracks, suddenly piecing everything together. Why hadn’t he considered that? And now he had been made an ass. Instead of apologizing, Tim just stood there, not knowing what to do. The stranger didn’t seem offended, but Tim could determine little from his stagnant features.

All of a sudden Tim burst into laughter. Everything that had happened was catching up to him, and he could only laugh about it. He laughed like the madman this stranger knew him to be. He laughed like a lunatic, like some creepy being who had gone insane years ago. Perhaps he had. Perhaps this was all part of some never-ending hallucination.

To his surprise, the other man started laughing as well. His was a much calmer laugh, a much more genuine one. Tim couldn’t determine what it was he was laughing at, but in the moment he didn’t care. They both belted their loudest laughter for minutes, and not a soul interrupted them.

After they both quieted down, Tim took a few moments to just breathe. When he looked up, there was still a smile on the stranger’s face.

“My name is Tim,” he said. “Timothy Burns.”

“Lito,” replied the other. “Lito Grunswald.”

Tim extended a hand to shake, but then realized Lito would not see it. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Handshake?” he suggested.

Lito stood, perplexed. “Ah, yes,” he mumbled, then reached for Tim’s hand. His own hand was cracked and dirty, working hands of an average man of his time. He was taken aback by Tim’s relatively smooth skin, his fine fingers. “You are certain you are not from Asia?” he asked. “Your skin is that of a rich man.”

Tim laughed again. “I wish I were rich,” he said. “No, I’m from America. I’m not from this time. I’m actually from the twenty-first century.”

Lito stepped away. If his eyes were opened, it might have appeared as if he’d rolled them. “Right.”

“No, really!” Tim assured. “I’m from New York, a place with a lot of skyscrapers, and neon lights, the Big Apple. I guess you don’t know what that is.”

Lito stood dumbfounded. “How on earth does one scrape the sky? You live in an apple? We must get you to an apothecary at once.”

“No, wait.” Tim didn’t flinch as Lito grabbed his forearm.

Darkened fingers gently caressed the flannel shirt, rolled up to his elbows. They continued up his arm, Lito’s curiosity overpowering his politeness. His fingers danced over his shoulder, then rested at his neck, where a collar was folded messily. Underneath his opened flannel was a plain cotton T shirt, which Lito also took interest in. “Your cloths,” he mumbled. “They are not of England. I have never felt such fabrics. Your shirt is so thin, so smooth. Have you a tailor?”

“Yeah,” Tim replied. “His name is Wal-Mart. Now stop feeling me up. Take me out to dinner first.”

Lito withdrew his hand immediately, an apology coming from his features rather than his mouth.

“Well, hold on, I can prove I’m not from here.” Tim shoved a hand into the back pocket of his jeans. He pulled out his smartphone and showed it to Lito. It took some awkward motions for Tim to force the object into the younger man’s hands.

Lito ran his hands over the smooth edges, the scratched screen. “You present to me a rock,” he said dully.

“It’s not a rock,” Tim said defensively, snatching the device back. “It’s a cellphone. Look, I’ll call someone, you’ll see.”

“I hardly think they will hear you from here.”

Choosing to ignore that comment, Tim unlocked his phone and pulled up his dial pad, but he had no service here. That, too, he should have expected. “Um, on second thought, hold on.” He brought up the list of music downloaded onto his phone. Clicking a song, he hit play, and he waited until Disturbed’s cover of “The Sound of Silence” filled the air.

Lito listened closely, and as the notes sang into his ears he was taken aback. “What?” he asked, incredulous. “How did you fit a choir into a rock? What is this?” He grabbed for the phone and held it up to his ear. “How is such a thing possible?” When David Draiman’s voice sounded, Lito pushed the phone away from him, utterly bewildered. “Who speaks?” he demanded. “How is he heard from this rock? Is there another here?”

Tim took his phone back into his hands, chuckling. “Where I’m from, almost everyone has one of these. You can use it to play music, or text people--that is, write them messages that they get instantly--or you can call people and talk to them even if they’re far away.”

Lito was silent for a long while. Then he looked up, hopeful. “If technology is that advanced…”

“It is,” Tim commented. “I don’t know how I’m going to get by without it, honestly. But it sounds like someone is starting to believe me.”

Lito moved his head to face Tim. “What do you do with the blind?”

“What do you mean, what do I do with the blind?”

Lito turned away. “Here, people view me as a waste of resources. They tell me how I will never amount to much because I cannot see. Is that still true of your time?”

Tim’s features softened. The poor guy must have felt terrible, he thought, to be told he wouldn’t make anything of himself. Hadn’t Tim himself heard those words from Theresa, too?

He shrugged his shoulders. “No, not really,” he answered. “In my time, people have trained dogs to help blind people, and even monkeys I think. There are surgeries that help sometimes. I don’t know much about it, I got perfect vision.”

“Surgery?” Lito looked up in interest. “They can cure blindness?”

“Well, sometimes,” Tim said. “Depends. How did you go blind?”

“Is your stomach easily made uneasy?”

“What? Uh, no, I don’t think so.”

Lito nodded a bit, then slowly opened his eyes. He still squinted, but underneath his eyelids were the most piercing blue eyes Tim had ever seen. In the center of his eyes, where his pupils should have been, were instead foggy cataracts.

“I was born with clouds over my eyes,” Lito explained. “My mother told me I was able to see, never well, but I've no recollection of this. The priests knew not how to remove my clouds, and my father dared not let them try. My clouds continued expanding, my mother said, until they were this big. They completely cover my eyes now, save for the colored part that does not see.”

Tim stared into the cataracts, mesmerized. “Can you see at all?”

“No,” Lito replied. “I see not blackness, however. My world is made of colors, but I can make out so little that it all bleeds into one distorted rainbow. I can make nothing of you, of the sky or the earth, of anything.”

“Why do you keep your eyes closed?” It was an innocent question, though Tim watched as Lito squinted more directly afterwards.

“People are made uneasy by my clouds,” he responded. “Besides, if I am unable to see anyway, it hardly matters whether my eyes are open or closed. This way, people are more comfortable. They can easily identify me as one unlike themselves.” Lito closed his eyes again and rubbed at them. “I have been doing it all my life. The light hurts me, now.”

Tim didn’t know what to say. If Lito had just been born in his time, how different would the guy have been? Cataracts were curable; Lito probably would have been a completely different person.

“Would they be able to remove them?” Lito asked. A tint of hope tainted his words.

“Yeah, probably,” Tim replied. “Well, maybe at first. I don’t know about now. Those cataracts have been developing for… Well, how old are you?”

“Sixteen,” replied Lito.

“What?” Tim studied the boy. From his long, messy hair to his stubble to his dirtied skin; Lito looked much, much older. “Sorry, I just didn’t think you’d be that young.”

“Young?” repeated Lito. “I am a middle-aged man.”

Tim shifted. “Right,” he responded. “Um, I don’t know if they’d be able to remove it. I don’t think any of that matters right now anyway. Nothing will matter, Lito. You have to help me. I need to find a way back to my time.”

~~~

Lito could tell Tim plenty about this time, but he knew nothing about getting to a different one. He did not know how to get Tim back to twenty-first century America, or where to even begin. They were at a complete standstill, and that was only making Tim more nervous. He didn't know that he'd ever see Theresa again, now.

The two decided that standing around would accomplish nothing, so Lito motioned for Tim to follow as he started walking through the streets of Andover. The buildings looked so sturdy for this time period. Signs outside certain ones told of their purposes: there was a smithy, and a grocer, and their destination: a bakery. Tim tripped twice over the rocks on the ground, which made him doubly impressed by Lito’s grace.

The bakery was filled with breads of all sorts. Tim’s mouth watered when he entered. He had forgotten how starved he was, and greedily he walked up to the counter. There was no baker present.

Lito walked up to the counter too and took a whiff of the goods. “The baker, and most others from town, are in Winchester for a festival.” He picked up a loaf of bread and handed it to Tim. “It is what is left over from yesterday.”

“Isn’t this stealing?” Tim asked, taking the bread in his hands. “Why was the door open if the baker isn’t here?”

“Because everyone is attending the festival,” Lito replied. “’Tis only stealing if you are caught. Come then.” He started out of the bakery, a new destination in mind.

“Why didn’t you go to the festival?” Tim took a piece of his bread, and he offered another piece to Lito, but the kid did not see him. Rather than interrupting, he pretended he had broken it off for himself.

Lito did not stop to face him. “I have not the interest in such things. The poetry reading was last year, and I went then, but this year there is no such thing. It is more family-oriented, and I have not the family with whom to attend.”

Tim considered that. “Where’s your family?”

“Dead.”

“Oh.” He shifted. “How?”

“Father was ill, and attacked Mother. She was killed, he was hanged.” His tone never changed.

The cold way in which Lito said it gave Tim chills. “They left you alone?” he asked. “A blind child?”

“I am not a child.” Lito turned to face Tim. “I am as able as any with sight, and I would kindly refrain from believing any different. Now, we are here.”

Tim looked at the building they were standing in front of. There was no sign on the façade, but he could see through the windows there was a work table filled with hammers, sickles, and hoes. Lito slipped into the building, so Tim had no choice but to follow.

“A blacksmith?” Tim asked, taking in the worker’s tools scattered about.

“Aye,” replied Lito.

“You what?”

“What?”

“Never mind.” He walked up to the table and ran his hands over a half-finished hammer. “Why are we here?” he asked.

“I have an idea.” Lito felt around the room, as if looking for something. “Of this situation. You claim you are from the future. You wish to return to your time.” His fingers hit a small knife. Lito flinched, but continued feeling around. “There is a legend of old about something like this happening.”

“Really?” Tim stared at the man. “This just occurred to you?”

“Do you wish for me to tell you the legend or not?”

Tim silenced, his eyes watching this blind figure move about the room. Lito sighed. Then, in the softest tenor, he began to sing:

On a day of celebration / cen'tries hence, in a town of old People gone, save for a young lad / negligence had made him cold. Another hails from far-off lands / spreading tales of fantasy He asks for aid and none help him / who may answer his poor plea? Off atop a frozen mountain / far beyond the winds and sea There awaits a lovely goddess / she can heal their misery The two, paired, must venture thither / salvation a guarantee Camaraderie saves the lost and torn / camaraderie restores reality.

When Lito finished his song, he cleared his throat and continued searching. “Mother sang that to me when I was plagued by insomnia. 'Tis about some lonely, bitter man who happens upon a madman, and they are forced to work together so a goddess may grant them blessing. 'Tis only a childish tale, and I fear only a few scarcely remember it, but what other choice have you?”

Tim glared at Lito. “You want me to trust a nursery rhyme?” he asked. “How do I know you didn’t make that up on the spot? How do I know you’re not sending me on some crazy goose chase for your own sadistic enjoyment?”

Lito paused and faced Tim. “I hear no geese,” he commented.

“That’s not what I… Never mind.” He sighed in aggravation. Then, he walked towards Lito and took the kid’s hands in his own. “Look at me.”

Lito faced Tim. “I cannot--”

“Do you think this is going to work? Really?”

Lito was silent for a long while. When he did speak, his voice was gentler. “I haven't an answer you wish to hear, Tim. I say this is the sole lead we possess. Either you gear yourself to adventure, or you prepare to become accustomed to living in thirteenth-century England.”

Lito moved away from him, then returned to his search. He muttered something about not being able to find what he was looking for, and breathed a swear.

Tim stayed, paralyzed. So many strange events had happened on this day. He wondered when he would wake from this fairy tale, but he knew this was not a dream. He also wondered if, at the end of all this, he would somehow get his Theresa back.

Tim looked back to the kid so willing to help him. He wondered about Lito's reasons for going on this journey. Finally attempting to return the kindness he'd been shown, Tim asked, "What are you looking for?"

“There is a chest the smith keeps somewhere around here,” Lito said, moving raw ore out of the way of his search.

“Is it black with a silver lock?”

“You realize I do not know colors very well, aye?”

“I found it.” Tim crouched down beside one of the work tables and ran his fingers over a dark wooden chest. Though it had a very strong-looking lock, it was currently not fastened. Lito knelt down beside him and threw the chest open.

Inside were the more valuable wares. Swords and axes were kept in here, refined weapons that had been commissioned but never picked up. Lito dug his hand into the chest, instantly slicing his finger on a sharp blade.

“Hey, let me do that,” Tim said. “What do you want?”

“I need you to grab a pair of swords.”

Tim did as he was told. Before he handed one to Lito, he asked, “Why?”

“We are going to the mountain, are we not?”

“Why do we need swords?”

“To cut down any creatures that might stand between us.”

“Could we not talk them down?”

“There are animals along the way that will not be so forgiving.”

“Can’t we use a gun?”

“A what?”

“Right. Can’t we… I don’t know, it’s just, swords seem so extra, don’t they?”

Lito reached for a sword, and Tim moved it so that it would not cut him. Once in his hands, he tightened his grip around the hilt. A boyish smile blossomed onto his face “She is a beautiful one, is she not, Tim?”

“But, Lito,” Tim protested. “This is stealing. I don't care if this is the Middle Ages, they don’t just give swords to people. Maybe soldiers, but not two guys off the street.”

“You complain much,” Lito commented. He stood and gently felt the blade of his weapon. “I would rather be safe with a borrowed sword by my side than defenseless and dead. If you truly hail from eight hundred years into the future, I haven't reason to doubt there will be more standing in our path than a few angered bears.”

Tim didn’t know what he was getting himself into. He looked at the remaining broadsword in his hands. He had never held a real sword, had only really seen them in Skyrim or Dark Souls. To think he might have to use one on a living target was enough to make his body shake again.

“But, Lito,” he protested again. “But you’re… you’re blind.”

“I am able to wield better than you will ever,” Lito said nastily. “Now, will you continue your interrogation, or shall we get you back home?”

#short stories #writeblr

0 notes