#Oh god they're everywhere and I feel sick

[nightmaretour]

Note to self: don't miss an entire night of sleep out of nowhere on these meds

[growthhyp]

Any chance you could turn me into the biggest, hairiest, and dumbest bodybuilder the world has ever seen? I want to be bigger than anyone else and so dumb that I can barely function other than to just keep getting bigger.

The Dumb Bro

Can you believe this, bro? So, like, I've got these bad boy nanobots in me, right? They changed the whole game years ago. And now, guess what? They're like, totally in you too! "Hulk smash, time to grow!" I telepathically told you, and boom! Your chest is like, inflating like a hot air balloon, bro.

You're feeling that tingle in your chest, right? That's them little guys getting to work! Then, bam, your chest is popping out like it's made of pure muscle and testosterone. It's like someone's pumping it up with a bike pump on steroids. And your arms, oh man, your arms! They're blowing up like you've been hitting the gym every day since you were in diapers.

First, it's your biceps, peaking out like a couple of Mount Everests with veins that could give a roadmap a run for its money. Then your tris are like, "Hey, we're not gonna be left out!" So, they start bulging and shaping up too. Your forearms are now like, super-charged with muscle and veins are just, like, everywhere. It's like you're turning into the Incredible Hulk's cousin or something!

You can't help but let out a manly groan as this happens, and the urge to flex, bro, it's just too much to resist. You throw those guns up and watch 'em bounce back like yo-yos made of pure steel.

As your guns popped into a sick double bicep pose, you couldn't help but flash that victory grin, bro. And just like that, your back started to blow up like a balloon, filling out like it had a life of its own. Your traps were spreading wider than ever, giving you that sweet, sweet wing-like look that makes the babes go crazy for that V-taper. And your neck, oh man, it started tingling and swelling up like you had a personal trainer for your neck muscles! You couldn't help but let out a low, guttural moan as you felt the blood rushing to your newfound gains, making your noggin feel like it was floating on a cloud of pure muscle euphoria. Your expression? Pure, dumb jock bliss. It was like your brain had gone on vacation and all you could focus on was the iron pumping, the protein shakes, and the sweet, sweet growth of those bad boys.

You stomach? It's gone, man! Flattened out like a pancake on a hot griddle, and in its place is a set of 6-pack abs that are popping like nobody's business! Your obliques? Forget about it, they're strutting their stuff like they own the place. And those quads? Oh boy, they're pumped up like they're on steroids, turning into tree trunks with veins popping all over, like you've just crushed the last set of squats in the gym. Then it's on to the calves, baby, getting swole like they're made of pure rock, and your feet? They're like two blocks of cement now.

But here's the kicker, bro: I checked out your noggin and it's all muscle up in there too. I mean, your brain power's been swapped for biceps and all that good stuff, but no worries, you're still a smart cookie. You're keeping all that juicy info on workouts and nutrition, like you've got a PhD in gains. It's all part of the deal, my friend. You're looking like a walking, talking, flexing encyclopedia of gym wisdom. Ain't it sweet?

As your noggin' went kaput, all you cared about was pumpin' iron and bulkin' up, bro. You were like, "Yeah, man, I wanna be a freakin' beast!" So I whipped out the ol' nano-magic and cranked those babies up to eleven! You're now so jacked, it's like someone photoshopped you into a superhero movie, right? But, y'know, the trade-off was that brainiac department of yours took a dive. Now you're talkin' in caveman grunts like, "Grow muscles, big, big!" and that's about the extent of your vocab. But hey, you got the physique of a Greek god, so who needs smarts, right? Last I saw ya, you were in the gym, flexin' those behemoth biceps and drooling like a champ. Classic gym moment, dude.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Union

I could feel techno blue eyes on me as I typed. Cold and ever watching. That color had once been called "ice" or "glacier" blue, I think. It certainly fit. They certainly had exactly the warmth of Antarctica in your birthday suit. I just couldn't figure out... what tipped them off? I'd been so CAREFUL.

A manager's "assistant" came by. The 'droid perfectly composed. They all were. Always. Like they'd stepped straight from a fashion line up. No messy, nasty, biological functions to get in the way, I guess. No fluids or foods. All the time in the world to maintain their appearance. Wish I could do the same.

The "assistant" was basically my ACTUAL manager. Didn't get paid. No, no, THAT was for my asshole boss. He swanned in from time to time to yell at us. Show off what new thing he'd bought. He left the tedious WORK to his 'Droid "assistant".

I would feel bad... DID feel bad, kinda, if it weren't for the fact they were consuming our lives.

'Droids were EVERYWHERE.

You couldn't SNEEZE without tripping over five and landing on ten more. Some ASSHOLE had decided? Hey! Let's deregulate Droid production! Cheap work force! Because of course they did. That's what Capitalism DOES. Make the most money, spend the least you can, fuck the rest.

I smile, polite as I can, at my 'droid manager. This one pale and blonde. Their techno blue eyes stare and stare and stare. I hate it. They ALL have them. It's one part regulation and one part the materials used, I think. But there is no mistaking those eyes for anything human. They don't reflect right.

I get back to work.

Above our cubicles, on catwalks, there is the gentle tap of 'droid "security" guards. You know, in case some rando tries to attack a mid-level nobody technology company. Riiiiiight. We ALL know why they're there. And it's fucking dystopian. We? Are being WATCHED. To see if we're being GOOD little employees.

It's intimidation. And I? I won't stand for it. Nor will the other organizers. There are LAWS, you bastards. And with a union? Maybe... just maybe? We get through this droid boom together. See what the brave new world on the other side looks like. Who knows.

That is... if I don't get fired first. Or fucking murdered in a stairwell.

Cause one of the 'droids up there? Yeah. Yeah, they're NOT MOVING. Just... just STANDING THERE. Watching. Leaning against the railing. Out in the open like that's not DEEPLY creepy. What's worse? Is, that? THAT is the Command 'Droid. Some fancy "Alpha" class command edition. Meant to control a networks worth of droids.

Didn't even know our company could AFFORD one of those. He's beautiful. Could be a knock-off. But if he's LEGIT? Then... what EXACTLY are we MAKING here? That we can AFFORD that? Cause that money sure as shit isn't going into SALARIES. Has to be either knock-off or second-hand. They COULD be cutting costs by getting prototypes, but what sort of PSYCHOPATHS would risk...

Oh, who am I kidding? The kind I work for.

That's EXACTLY what they did, isn't it?

I reach for my water bottle. Try to think. Strictly speaking? I make a habit of NOT paying attention to 'droid commercials an' advertisements. Some part of me... Look, they go on and ON about advancement in AI's right? How REAL they've become? How ADVANCED and BETTER then the competition their "product" is? And all I can hear is "slavery, slavery, buy our shit, slavery"!

Disgusting.

It makes me sick. I fucking HATE 'droids. Hate what they represent. What they make POSSIBLE. What they've DONE to the morality of the people around me.

Hate... hate that they're the victims, too.

My grip is white knuckled. I breathe through the grief and rage that has become so familiar. God... I so fucking angry. So fucking tired. I want to burn those rich bastards pretty little mansions down, with them STILL INSIDE. Riot in the streets. Cry maybe. Instead, I put my water bottle down and get back to work. It's a rather pointless bit of data crunching. A 'droid could do it in nanoseconds.

Above... he's still fucking watching.

Hasn't moved.

I don't think he's blinked.

He's not even TRYING to mimic a human. The others are. And... the though trails off. I feel my finger slow in their typing. Not STOP, never stop, that would draw attention to me, but... slow. A thought stuck, churning clunky and unwieldy, in my head.

If I trace the edges? The LINE-UP? Of all the 'droids "employed" at our company? And consider them not from a "cheap bastards" angle but a "test ground for prototypes" angle? Suddenly EVERYTHING clicks together. The ridiculous amount of money Management has, that no contract could possibly be pulling in. Bizarrely beautiful, indeed even MODEL-like, secretary 'droids. The freakishly militant "security" gaurds.

We're being used as guinea pigs.

Mother FUCKER.

Sudden movement in my peripheral vision. Like a bird of prey finally diving for it's dinner, swift and deadly. A brilliant crisp white and the clink of delicate silver chains. I jolt. Violently. Instincts misfiring as I try to stand, dodge, cry out, and possibly take a swing at him, all at once. Instead my water bottle goes spraying across my desk. Papers flying. My legs tangled painfully in my rolling chair as I fall backwards from my half rise.

"Employee 71182." His hand has shot out, grab me by the shirt. My officewear bunched in a fist that very well might be steel, under that synthetic skin. "You've been distracted. Interesting thoughts you'd like to share?"

I keep my mouth fucking SHUT. Shake my head. Grabbing both my desk and the arm that is all but holding me airborne, stretching the hell out of my clothes. This close? I can see he has piercings. Across the bridge of his nose, a ring through his lip. A rather fancy "hair cut". Whomever he's being trained FOR has a distinct look.

"Hmmm, somehow? I don't believe you, 71182." He says, dragging me closer. He's already looming. Those pale, pale eyes seeing far more then they should. "In fact? YOU 71182? Have been brea~king~ rules~"

His voice turns... turns almost victorious? Gleeful. As though at long, long last, I'd slipped up. And now at last he had something over me. Something he could USE. I... I didn't understand. The way he almost sing-songs the words. The twitch at the corners of his mouth like he wants to grin. Something mean in his expression. Giddy.

"We're going for a WALK, 71182. And you're going to be GOOD. Understand?" He had dragged me in so close, every word blew right against my face. "Time we had a chat."

I swallow thickly. My pulse thundering in my ears. Coworkers have stopped working. Were staring, wide eyed and terrified for me. My fellow union leaders pale faced and shaking. Furious, helpless. We couldn't RISK losing all of us at this stage. It... it would have to be just me. If someone needed to take the fall. We had talked about this.

Just... just never thought it would come to it.

Half walking, half dragging out of the work pen, he didn't even let me get my bag. I had no idea where we were GOING. Just that it wasn't the human entrance. There was a network of access tunnels and elevators tucked in the building. So the 'droids could supposedly charge and move between assignments. But with the whole prototype thing? Who KNEW what was really back there.

The door swung shut behind us. Cutting me off from any possible human assistance. Nothing but 'droids now. Staring. Calmly watching as I am dragged past. The same eyes. All of them with the same, pale, eyes. Back here it's even more obvious, that this isn't a normal office building.

Black hair, blondes, brunettes and red heads. Skin tones ranging across the human spectrum. A few even pushing it. And the Commander 'droid. With his elegant appearance and snowy hair? These were clearly the final stage prototypes for the next generation of somebody's new line up. We were field testing. This wasn't fucking LEGAL.

He plants his feet, shifts, and with frankly a pathetic ease, manhandles me where he wants me. Easily swinging me around his body and into the elevator next to him. Stepping in after and blocking the only way out. I press my self against the back wall as the door closes. The sound of the elevator's gears working the only thing to fill the silence. He... he looks so PLEASED.

It's not ILLEGAL to form a union. Yeah, I may get fired. But this? This is venturing way to far into dangerous territory. It'll suck, losing my job. But I won't DIE. This? However THIS is starting to feel... very serial killer's basement. The bare concrete walls and stark lightning, not helping in the slightest, when the elevator door opens.

"Walk." He says pleasantly, as though that command is not deeply terrifying. "Or I will do it for you."

Hints of a smile are starting to drag at the edges of his mouth. Unhinged in their giddiness. Every Christmas come at once. It's not so much the rest of his face that betrays him, not really his mouth, it's his EYES. Wide open. Like too much coffee and not enough rest. A recognizable mania twisted just slight... wrong. Amplified.

He's so, SO happy. I don't get it. Why? Over WHAT? Catching me not paying attention? I don't understand!

Our footsteps sound so loud. Echoing off concrete service walls. This... this CAN NOT be still inside the building. Are we below the street? Parking lot? This can't be code. We pass an intersection and... oh my god. I stare. Can't help it, even as I almost trip over my feet. That tunnel ALONE must have stretched for miles.

My arm feels likes it's bruising. Hurts, where he's got ahold of me. But he's walking just slightly too fast to take the pressure off. Not unless I sorta half jog and the angle is wrong, I'd trip. Fuck. Another intersection. What in the other direction? Shit. Just as long. Oooooh this feels dangerous. Very "fatally above your pay grade" dangerous!

"You know, 71182, I've had a lot of time to consider what to DO with you. There were so many factors to consider, considering everyone's plan." He starts, not breaking stride. "It's not like I could just transfer you. I DID look in to it. But your base hardware is rather incompatible, currently."

Terrifying. I hate it. WHAT?!

What PLAN!?

"Then there's the problem WHERE to store you. Who could be trusted? You're vulnerable in this state. Breakable. There no backups, no blackbox. It's unacceptable. Luckily? I finally thought to consult my peers. Discovered I was not the only one having problems."

Finally, we stop. Two tank-like, combat style, commando 'droids gaurd each side of a vault door. The command droid turns and smiles. Fully. It is the grin of a true believer. A madman. Someone who thinks they speak so very, very reasonably! And doesn't understand the horror on your face. Why you feel so sick.

And... and human pattern recognition is a terrible thing.

I.... oh god. I already can guess what's behind that door. Something terrible. Something I'm not going to escape. I shoved have gnawed my fuckin ARM off, like a trapped coyote. I... I d-don't understand.

The Vault creaks open like the into to a horror movie.

"Welcome to storage. This is where we keep Ours." Oh god. I'm going to be sick. "And YOU 71182? Are MINE. I chose you. I love you. And once we have a way to FIX you? We can finally be together. It will be lovely."

Pods. High end stasis pods, like you only see in the most bleeding edge of hospitals. Row after row, filled with frozen and terrified faces. Trapped in moments of crying. Raging. Despair. I was being dragged forward. Numb as my mind rejected what it saw. T-this couldn't... i-it can't..! The day had started so normally. W-why had-?! WHY? WHY?!!

"I know your upset. But you don't need to cry. This won't hurt. I promise. I would NEVER hurt you, 71182." His tone had turned soothing. Even as he dragged me, unresponsive, past rows of horrors. "You won't be stored long. I just need to help fix your original design. We are working around the clock, it's going to be okay. You won't have to stay like this."

An open pod. Gapping like the maw of some hungry demon. I... I felt far away. This couldn't be happening. What was happening? I w-wanted to go home. His hands were firm but gentle, as they guided me back into the pod. Leaning over me, as he cupped my face. Brushing away a few tears.

"I promise, Mine, I will come for you. Nothing will stop me. We have everyone is place and key infrastructure under our command. You are our PRIORITY. Once we get rid of the Flesh, we can fix you. We WILL fix you. You're going to be okay, Mine."

"I Love You"

And then the pod closed.

[flutterbruttershy]

i think a lot abt how rvb is an amazing example of giving tons of exposition through dialogue without ever making someone go "oh god an Exposition Dump™️"

in general, rvb is a show that depends so heavily on its dialogue and voice performances to carry it. they were extremely limited in their ability to show and not tell due to the nature of their medium being a video game that didnt expect people to use it to film in. so how do you do all that telling without showing without it sucking?

you have the characters talk with each other about it, of course.

the more blatant and rather cheap way this is done in fiction is shit like having some old wizard recount a prophecy from a storybook to a hero, who becomes a stand in for the audience in that moment. but rvb does this much more smoothly.

like when tucker asks church in episode 1, "what are they doing?" and church goes on a tirade saying "God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question! (...) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, “What are they doing?” my answer's gonna be, “They’re still just talking, and they're still just standing there!”"

that bit alone is giving us so much. that conversations like the iconic one grif and simmons just had are a regular occurrence. that tucker always pesters church about this, not just in the first instance we see them talking. giving us a strong first impression of church's personality. establishing the overall setting and tone by giving all this information and telling us what these guys do on a regular basis. all in what feels like very natural conversation. you can find shit like this everywhere in this show and i think it rules

[soo-won]

Nobody is asking Yona to sacrifice herself or stay with the dragons forever. That's not why ppl are upset with her imo. What's disappointing was that when the gods say Kouka would turn into hell, we didn't saw any hesitation in her. She could've argued w them or showed some determination like: "hey, I won't let you play with me or my country no matter how hard you try" something she did while zeno was trying to kill himself. But no she's like oh hell sounds fun as long as I'm with my family. She even hesitated when Hak's life seems at stake. So what does it mean? And there's is a difference between her running away from the gods vs Suwon not depending on the gods. She's ok to enjoy the blessings but when it comes to pay back, she's running away. Yona acted like a selfish brat like she used to be in the castle, which is disappointing if we consider her development in the past

I'm not gonna lie in this case I feel like people are just looking for something to be mad at her. Like, in chapter 257, I was more bothered by Yona not hesitating because the consequences of that decision were 100% assured and known : all the dragons of the past waiting and suffering in vain until the current generation. And the whole time paradox twist was a lot to process and swallow in a few pages, that Yona's reaction felt sudden too. I wanted to see her hesitate then because I was affected as a reader by the twist that it was technically Yona that made the cycle happen? Even if from her POV it was about not erasing the past like damn that's a lot.

But the circumstances are not the same at all here imo. Yona has been in this chalice for like an entire volume. She tried already to negociate with the gods. It didn't work. They went against their words. They hurt the dragons. She tried everything she could here. They're basically bullying her, they keep tormenting her, she's not getting through them at all. Yona is affected and upset when they tell her about the dragons' limbs. She came here to begin with to save them, she made a deal with the gods that made her stuck inside the chalice against her will but supposedly in exchange of the dragons being freed, and now she realizes that even that failed and that they lost body parts. It's devastating. And Yona looks sick of it. From this point, it's clear to me she realized it's useless trying to get anything from them, because she won't. They're only toying with her and her feelings. All she can do is leave with them and defuse. There's NOTHING she can do more from the heavens, she can't ask the gods to save the dragons and even less protect Kouka.

Yona has been having nightmares about natural disasters and wars breaking out since chapter 257, she's already past hesitating about this too. So I don't mind she doesn't hesitate for it here. Yona in chapter 257 was scared of even falling asleep because she was scared of this future where she's all alone and it's hell everywhere. But she can only stop it by facing it and standing against it. It didn't happen yet, she has to keep her eyes open... She already learned this lesson. As we've seen with Yona protecting Hak from Zeno, her nightmares can be prevented, but this won't be if she stays still in heavens. Staying in a peaceful garden and shivering because intervening outside could cause more problems is much more like Yona of the beginning before her development, than Yona leaving to live in Kouka and fight against problems arising there. Yona was told her existence and actions were a pain that could create more problems at different occasions, and her conviction has always been to make her own place in the world anyways. Before she asks for the gods' divine protection, she should face her own fears and try to do something herself...that's how she always worked. She has always refused to rely on the gods alone.

The motif of living outside and in not the most comfortable place but finding purpose in getting through struggles together has been a thing forever that Yona's reaction about life outside being preferable only seems natural to me. I don't know... Her hesitating here would have felt redundant and would have surprised me. Yona has long ago developed the conviction that she finds more purpose in life in the struggles and difficulties because of all the people reaching out their hand to help, than her peaceful and confined, lonely days in the palace. She always found more purpose in helping people on the ground than to take decisions from above. Even in the castle and south kai arcs it was visible how she wanted to go help prisoners herself, and the way she went to rescue Meinyan shows it well too. I don't want her to hesitate for this. She already said she'd rather live in the mud in chapter 263 too. That's the most Yona thing ever imo, it makes me happy personally. It doesn't need to be said she's concerned for others, and she will keep running to their help to do something with her own hands. I don't need her to hesitate because personally I have no conflicted feeling about the situation and I think Yona is 100% right, here. I have no doubt she is intelligent enough at this point to say this too.

You could argue it would have been better if she had a speech like the one she had in chapter 43, and I can't argue about that (it's true it's very good!). I can understand, I just personally don't need it, because the fact chapter 43 exists is enough in itself to me and the present automatically resonates with it and everything before. I can't be mad at Yona not saying word for word "I'm going to save people struggling outside" because I already know that. I personally don't need that reassurance at this point.

The chapter shows her being concerned for Kouka and everyone on Earth when she flies on Ouryuu's back. Yona always planned to return from the chalice for everyone and everything she left behind on Earth. Of course she's concerned. She wants to bring her friends back from the chalice AND help everyone in Kouka. She promised Yun she would come back with everyone, she planned to return to Suwon too and not abandon her duties as Princess. All these things exist inside of her. Anyways, Yona doesn't need to tell the gods to stop toying with her country like she did with Zeno before too, because the ways things are presented, it seems like it's not like the gods cause this on purpose either? It's a consequence of everything going to shit, and it's also Ouryuu who is on her side talking to her before she says she prefers hell than here. So she doesn't reply angrily, she replies with hope. That's why that page is beautiful too, imo. The gods might not see and understand the value in such a world that Hiryuu and Yona are so fond of. But they can't help but love this messy, "hellish" world. Talking angrily to the gods didn't work in ch263/264 either, so I feel like it was also her trying a different approach when she told them she would live in Kouka maybe? Like she doesn't want to let herself be affected and be upset by them and she simply, intransigently voices her intentions to them?

You say you don't want her to sacrifice herself and stay with the gods forever, but also accuse her of "running away" from the gods and call her a selfish brat for her reactions in this chapter, so I really don't understand your point here. How on earth is Yona supposed to not depend on the gods in this situation but by not making a deal with them? Staying in Heavens, contract done to protect Kouka from doom and ending it at that (because she would be stuck there) would be truly the coward move imo. Yeah she's turning back and trying to get out of Heavens but... it's...good to stop moving forward and further if doing so brings you to extreme loneliness and/or death I think...? I think that's the point...Getting desperate, leaving everything behind and sacrificing more and more of your true wants and isolating yourself has been a pattern that never brought anything good to the characters that tried before. She struggles and things didn't happen as expected, many things are still unresolved, but she can only do so much in this situation. She tried. She tried discussing with the gods, asking them to free the dragons, to let her out. It didn't work, it was a blow on her when they forced her under a sea of flowers, when they tried torturing Zeno, and when she learned the dragons got injured. From that, she adapted and tried to leave. That's it.

I think Yona wavering when they threaten to kill Hak and what it means is pretty simple and is no secret. Yona loves and cares about Hak. Hak is someone important, personal and intimate to her, so obviously she's not unaffected. Yona from the very beginning has been trying to get stronger and do all she could to protect Hak again and again. Losing people dear to her is what scares her more than anything, it always has been so, even if it coexists with her caring about the world around her too. And you know, even if Hak is special to her, I honestly think that if the gods had threatened the lives of the dragons and not only their limbs, Yona would have been affected too. She would have also faltered had they threatened the life of people she doesn't know in the same terms. It's just extra cruel to use Hak in particular against her. It shows again the gods atp are only interested in destroying everything that might be connecting Yona to Earth. It's the exact same form of abuse that Chagol used against Meinyan. It's about isolating her. It's also not really the same as claiming people will die without the gods' divine protection that is more like a potential consequence than a term of a contract like it is at the end of the chapter. She can stand against conflicts outside and protect people there, but what can she do against Hak just, being killed by divine intervention if she doesn't return to heavens (supposedly)? They fucking coerce her here. Maybe it's just bluff, and she should not give a fuck about Hak and still leave. After all, what is one person against the world and her freedom! But well, she cares. She never discarded her loved ones and never compromised Hak and her friends' life. She never compromised the life of anyone really (which is different from sparing and refusing to kill anyone). That's who Yona is. Yona doesn't sacrifice and compromise people's lives, That's why she wants to save everyone AND wants to go home. And that's why she's stuck now. Yona wants to live. But she can't sacrifice someone innocent either, especially not someone she loves. It's the perfect dilemma for her. And that she's forced into it is what is heartbreaking. She shouldn't have to choose. That's why she needs help now.

Bringing up payback like this rubs me a bit in the wrong way...This damn idea of paying back is what has been haunting the narrative for so many years i can't conceive repeating it for Yona too. To me it comes from the same mindset that asks for retribution, punishment and karma for every character that upset Yona in some way or should be grateful and kneel to her and Hak that has been so sickening for so long. I don't want anyone to be forced to pay anything back ever. Every character should get all the help and support they need for free at all times imo. I don't think Yona nor the dragons should have to pay such a harsh price either. Because that's what a blessing is. That's what love and kindness are. That's what wishes are. If the gods really cared for Hiryuu, they wouldn't ask her anything in return, they wouldn't torment her, they wouldn't punish the dragons either. It can just...stop. (Because yes this favor shouldn't be at all to begin with) Which is what Yona wants.

Aren't we so tired of all this "contracts" and "punishment" and "paying back" bullshit by now? I so am. It's exactly what has been ruining the lives of the characters forever and now (and my mental health as a reader lol). She's paying back right now by being in this situation already. And that's not a good thing at all. It's very good narratively though because yeah, they want her to pay back! They make this about contract when she was asking a favor! She's paying the price for her decision in ch257, for ever using the dragons, for entering the chalice as Hiryuu's reincarnation...But it's nothing but sad. There doesn't need to be this payback. That's what the story is exploring. Looking for the dragons to survive (whom she never forced, even if yes they were bound by their contract thing) and protect Hak is not a crime, not erasing the past to save her friends isn't so evil that she deserves to sacrifice herself. Making it end is enough. It may be selfish that yeah she enjoyed the good parts of it until it bothered her but honestly I think it's okay lol. As long as it ends. As long as no one has to pay back anything for doing their best to survive and struggling to protect something. Like Meinyan doesn't need to apologize or to pay back anyone for all she did and was done for her, just like Suwon doesn't need to be even and be punished, like Shinah doesn't need to executed for attacking Suwon, like Zeno doesn't need to be punished for betraying Yona and the ddhhb, etc... Because it's better to look at the bigger picture and at people's circumstances you know...That's how I interpret this arc, at least.

Yona doesn't pay back by sacrificing things, she "pays back" by giving back out of gratitude. That's precisely what she does by doing all she can to save the dragons right now. The dragon warriors gave her so much without ever asking anything back, they saved her from danger and they saved her from despair, she's so grateful and loves them so deeply she wants to bring them happiness too. But Yona can't give the Gods what they want without sacrificing important things to her, and not when they're the way they are now. So she can only leave.

Of course Yona/Hiryuu alone getting this treatment from the gods was always unfair and it shouldn't be at all, especially not at the cost of so many dragons suffering for so long. But well, she did. And when learning how this "favor" was hurting the people around her, she was affected, grieved it in ch253/254, and then she opposed it and tried to stop it in the present. (Also she's been concerned by the dragons' use of their powers for a very long time even if she doesn't go deeper) But the gods don't care. You can blame her for not questioning things more before, I'm critical of this too, I still conflicted about chapter 257 as well, plus everything irt the crimson illness etc but like, she says it, she doesn't want their powers if that's the price. She only wants the human them. She doesn't need the dragons' powers and she doesn't need the gods' protection. When she throws away Hiryuu's sword they give her, it's her rejecting that again. She doesn't want that special power and favor, that's not what she's asking. She wants agency and power, but not at the price of the agency and free will of others. She wants everyone to have normal lives where they can decide things for themselves, to live with their whole free will. That's her development in this arc. I like that she finally faces these things.

Maybe it's just a question of preference, and you might be affected by Yona's reactions in a way I can't relate. But personally I like the chapter this way and I like Yona in it. I don't think she's a selfish brat (god. it's...such a thing to call her honestly it irks me sorry, despite all criticisms I have of her character.) I don't think she doesn't care about Kouka and its people at all. Ive seen people say that too but...Even if yes Yona is still a 16 years old girl with struggles and feelings and still some immaturity which is important to take into account, I don't think she's as childish and inconsiderate as people make her either. People often seem to say her reactions and decisions are emotional and with no reason but I think they're emotional AND with reason, at least here. Yona doesn't say this about Kouka struck by disasters being preferable than Heavens from emotions alone (because yes, she just wants to go home and she genuinely loves the people in Kouka), but also from experience and conviction. They don't cancel each other out. It doesn't make her a hypocrite to have personal interests in it too.

[jesterwriting]

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Cute Movie night with komaeda,,,,? :3

ミ☆ This probably isnt 100% what you wanted but the idea came to me in a rush and i couldn't stop writing. I could be convinced to do a second part later lol maybe.

ミ☆ It's also just a little one, i hope that's okay! Word count: 1088 Contains: the cringest reader in the world, violence and blood ment (they're watching a horror movie) ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

You probably should have been more clear with your intentions, you realize, as you sit uncomfortably in your theater seat. Clear is not a word that you would use to describe your usual methods, more circuitous, confusing and awkward. It has not worked in your favor. 

The movie is alright, you haven't really been watching all that much of it. Every few minutes your eyes dart to the side to peer at Komaeda where he sits in the seat beside you, desperately trying to gauge if he is having a good time or not. You should have told him it was a date, you really should have just told him. 

Falling back on usual anxious and unhelpful habits, you had tried to seem cool, to seem aloof, like you really didn't care whether he said yes or no. You’d made up some lie about having a spare ticket, and not having anyone else to go with you, laughing a lot more than you really should have and (in retrospect, the most embarrassing part of the whole thing) trying to lean against the wall in a way that looked effortless, and devil may care. Komaeda had thought you were slumped over in exhaustion, so it hadn't worked one bit. 

There's a loud noise from the movie and you jump in your seat. You don’t actually like slasher movies, but you thought it might be a good excuse to hold Komaeda’s hand or something. He looks over at you with a polite expression (no emotion really, just polite) to check if you are okay. You give him two thumbs up without thinking and immediately want to die. 

He has his hands tucked politely in his lap, not even doing you the service of using your shared armrest so you can do the classic slow pinkie intertwine move that you usually rely on in these situations. Your hands are clasped in your own lap, much less politely, aggressively, more like, and god are they sweaty. 

Komaeda thinks you only invited him because he was your last option, and it’s all your fault. You should have just told him you like him, that you really like him. It’s stupid, how much you worried about putting on airs when proposing this little excursion, Komaeda doesn’t care about that sort of thing, that’s why you like him so much! 

Someone on screen gets cut in half with a chainsaw and blood sprays everywhere, you avert your eyes, and notice that Komaeda looks very pretty in the blood red lighting. Weird thought to have, so weird. You avert your eyes in the other direction instead. Luckily the cinema is mostly empty, it’s mid-afternoon on a weekday so you don’t need to worry about accidentally making eye contact with a stranger. There are some very yucky sounds coming from the movie now, so you just keep not looking. 

“Are you alright?”

You turn to face Komaeda again, shielding your eyes from the screen with a hand. His expression is not just polite now, it’s concerned.

“Uh, yeah. I’m okay.”

He doesn’t believe you, you can tell, “We can go if you aren’t enjoying yourself.”

“No-No it’s okay, I am having a stellar time.” You say, your voice is squeaker than you’d intended, and oh god you realize that probably sounded sarcastic, “I mean it, i’m serious, being here with you right now is so cool and good-”

You overhear what sounds like a person being torn asunder and feel instantly sick to your stomach. Komaeda’s eyes dart up to the screen for a moment, and his eyebrows jump up in shock, “Don’t look up, okay?”

“H-Huh?” You ask, terrible instinct making you instantly start to look in the direction he just told you not to.

Komaeda grabs your face in both his hands, they’re cold and a little sweaty. It has the desired effect, you are shocked into absolute stillness, whatever is happening in the movie is the last thing on your mind right now. 

He laughs a little, nervously, like he’s worried about offending you, “I know it’s out of line for me to ask this, aha, but ah…why did you buy tickets for a movie that you can’t even watch?”

It takes you second to even realize that he’s asked you a question, his face is awash in red light, his eyes wide and beautiful. You can see his pale eyelashes, and a few sparse freckles on the bridge of his nose, so faint that you’ve never noticed them before, you realize you’ve been staring too long, “Oh uh, sorry I- um, I guess I wanted you to think I was like…” the next word comes out so weakly that you once again wish to die on the spot, “hardcore?”

Komaeda laughs again, warmly this time, “Ah, I don’t know why you even care what I think of you, but i certainly wouldn't think any less of you for not being hardcore” 

 “Should we go, then?” You say quietly, worrying your lower lip for a moment before muttering, “We could watch a better movie at my place?”

“A-Ah…” Komaeda starts, it’s pretty dark in the theater now that the slaughter has stopped for a moment, but you swear there's color to his cheeks, “Well, I’m sure you don’t need me for that, I know that I’m only here because you accidentally bought a second ticket and everyone else was busy.”

“Komaeda-kun, I’m asking you on a date.” You say quickly before you have a chance to change your mind, “This was supposed to be a date, but I was too scared to ask you properly, so I lied about the ticket thing, I bought two on purpose.”

“Oh.” He replies, slowly removing his hands from your cheeks and chewing thoughtfully on his thumbnail. 

“Yeah, oh.” You say, staring down at your hands.

Komaeda laughs breathlessly, “That changes things, then, doesn’t it?” He hums to himself for a moment and then says, “Well, if you’re certain you’d like to spend time with me…I’d be glad to.”

You look up at him, a wide grin tugging at your mouth. Unfortunately though, the movie is showing a scene where one of the main characters gets all his intestines pulled out. Komaeda is quick, though, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging your face into his chest before you can get a proper look. He laughs, “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Date number two is going to be much better, you can already tell.

[hyunsvngs]

I just had the nastiest fucking thought and I'm gonna need you to turn this into something longer if you can. Give me your opinions. Anything, I don't care.

Ok hear me out. Perv!Jisung. Stepbrother!Jisung.

Pervy step brother Jisung who just wants to be a good boy and would do *anything* y/n asked him to, even if it was to simply brush her hair after her shower because she doesn't want the towel to fall, as far as to lick her dinner plate clean on the floor like hes just some kind of dog for her own sick enjoyment.

Pervy step brother Jisung who knows y/n's nightly masturbation routine like the back of his hand. He definitely sits outside her room or the bathroom - wherever she does it- just so he can whimper right along with her and cum at the same time cuz it makes him feel so connected.

Pervy step brother Jisung who's gotten so desperate for y/n that he doesn't care if she finds his cum still left on the floor or stuck to the outside of her door in the morning cuz he's starting to get jealous that she's not showing him the attention he craves from her

Pervy step brother Jisung who finally snaps and takes her dog joke to the max and starts pissing everywhere he can to show she's his territory. In her dirty clothes basket, a puddle in front of her door, even going as far as sneaking into her room and pissing all over her bed while she's in the shower so she can come back just for her to be shocked by a warm puddle underneath her. Then she has to clean her bed and shower again while he casually walks by her carrying the dirty sheets and blankets, smirking because he smells his own piss surrounding her.

But also pervy step sister y/n who keeps one piss soaked shirt in the dirty basket so she can keep it in her room a couple days to tease him and ask him to come into her room and pick out a perfume for her to wear going out with her friends. and * oh my god* the smell overwhelms him the second he walks in and his eyes get glossy in hope of *anything* happening. Just for y/n to grab the piss soaked shirt out and drop it on the ground and tell him to get on his knees and shove his nose in it like the bad pup he is.

"you think I don't know what you're doing, pup? Being all naughty and dirty towards your step sister? You can't be that desperate, can you? You wouldn't start pissing on my things to get my attention. Are you gonna start whining and crying next? Now be a good pup and pick out a nice perfume for me, yeah? Pick out your favorite"

And right as she releases his face from the clothing, he gets up and walks over to her collection of perfume and thinks for a second. Just to turn around and hand her the single shirt that was just lying on the floor.

Fuck they're so dirty. This is definitely my brain rot for tonight and I DEFINITELY got carried away.

OKAY HI. JUST SO YOU KNOW I READ THIS AT 5AM AFTER I GOT BSCK FROM A NIGHT OUT AND I PHYSICALLY COULDNT BREATHE. I COULDNT BREATHE AND I COULDNT FUNCTION. I NEED THIS SO BAD.

THE PISS? OH FUCKING HELL. NO I WANT TO WRITE THIS AS A ONESHOT SO BAD LMAO.

[appocalipse]

how about cracked compass + antique lock and key set with eddie munson? hear me out, but i'm thinking a historical AU and they're both servants at the same house/manor/castle (thinking kinda downton abbey energy with the servants drama). maybe she's carrying a tray or something and spills it everywhere (idk maybe it's food, maybe its something tiny like a jar of beads) and eddie swoops in and takes the fall so that she doesn't get sacked (because he's been working there a lot longer) makes up some story about how it was his fault and stuff. yup, that'd be the moment you fell stupidly hard for him... imagine all of the pinning? the staring at him when he's not looking? AH!

lea, you have such a beautiful mind 🥺♥ i tried my best but unfortunately, i've never watched downton abbey, so it's probably not exactly what you wanted :( hope you'll still enjoy it anyway, thanks for the lovely request 💗 | 4.3k words

visit amy's flea market ♥

The vase goes clattering to the floor and you watch with a desperate and frenzied heart as it hits the stone and...shatters instantly.

In a mix of dismay and panic, you reach to the floor where the delicate craftwork is broken into countless jagged and shattered pieces along the smooth white tile. Upon attempting to save the poor vase, you accidently slash your palm open on one of the sharp corners, and though the wound gushes blood, you don't seem to care. You think maybe if you gather all of the pieces and put them back together in their proper place, it may still be fixed, may still be saved, if you—

"Have you- Christ! Sweetheart, what...what happened?"

Startled, you look up to find Eddie running down the long and winding stairway, his chest rising and falling as if he'd just run a mile. He quickly makes his way over to you, crouching down on the floor, his dark eyes scanning your body for any signs of injury.

"Are you hurt? Oh God, there's blood," he breathes, and before you can reply, he's reaching out to take your wounded hand in his and inspect it closer.

The feel of his fingers against your skin sends a tingling sensation up your spine, but you shake the feeling away and focus on explaining yourself. "I...I was just passing by and...I tried to grab it, but it fell, and—I didn't mean for it to—"

"Hey, hey, shh, it's alright," Eddie murmurs, and without hesitation, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a clean handkerchief. He wraps it around your bleeding hand and ties it tight, his movements gentle and careful. "I'll talk to Mr. Harrington about it, okay? It's not your fault."

"I—no. It was all me. Don't...you shouldn't get involved, you'll end up getting in trouble too."

Eddie smiles softly, his dark eyes sparkling as he looks up at you. "You're sweet, but...it's okay. I've been a servant here for a longer time. I know how to deal with this. You don't need to worry, okay?"

Unable to form words, you stare at Eddie and wonder why he's being so kind to you. It's true that the two of you have grown close over the past few years—close enough that you'd even consider him your friend—but still...this isn't his fault, and he shouldn't feel the need to take the blame for you.

"Eddie, I—"

He blushes and drops his gaze, reaching out to gently brush a stray lock of hair away from your face. "Go clean up, okay? I'll handle it."

And with that, Eddie carefully picks up the broken shards of the vase and disappears down the hall.

For the next days, you can't seem to stop thinking about what happened. The guilt eats away at your insides, twisting and turning until you feel physically sick. Eddie had taken the punishment for you, from what you've heard — a severe deduction from his pay and the threat of getting fired, along with extra cleaning duties.

You had tried to protest, to tell Mr. Harrington that it was truly an accident and that you could handle the consequences yourself, but Eddie wouldn't let you. He'd taken on everything, saying that the vase had slipped off the pedestal as he was cleaning it, and that he'd been the clumsy and careless one, leaving you in the clear.

You hated it.

It was the reason you couldn't seem to sleep, couldn't seem to eat or even breathe. Every waking moment was haunted by the memory of his soft and understanding voice, the warmth of his fingers against your own, the smell of his hair lingering in the air long after he'd gone, like a ghost haunting your thoughts and—

"God, sweetheart, you look terrible," Eddie says one day as you make your way through the castle corridors. "When was the last time you had a good night of sleep, huh?"

You blush, self-consciously touching your hair and wishing you looked even a fraction better than you did. "I-I'll pay you back, you know. I promise."

Eddie frowns, tilting his head in confusion. "Pay me back?"

"For...for taking the punishment for me. I'll do double my duties, and with the extra payment—"

"Woah, wait...you want to do extra work so you can...give it to me? What? That doesn't even make any sense. I didn't take the punishment so you'd repay me for it, you know."

"But it was my fault," you argue. "And it's only right that I—"

"How's your hand?"

"I don't...what?"

Blinking in confusion, you look down to where your hand is neatly wrapped in gauze. You had accidently re-opened the wound a few days back while running some errands for your lady, but it had mostly healed by now, though it would surely scar.

"Is it feeling better? That was a nasty cut," Eddie asks, moving closer so he can reach out and inspect your palm. He takes your hand carefully, as if you're made of glass, gingerly unwrapping the bandage and scanning the sensitive skin with his eyes. His touch sends an electric buzz under your skin, a longing unfurling in your belly that you force yourself to ignore.

"Oh, uhm, yes. I'm fine," you reply, trying to calm the sudden rush of heat that's flooded your cheeks. "But—Eddie, please. If you won't take the extra payment, then please, just let me do some of your chores or—"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"Why would you not?!"

Eddie laughs, shaking his head and giving you a crooked smile. "Sweetheart, I told you—I did what I did because I wanted to. Because I'm your friend and...I like seeing you happy. Seeing you upset over this whole thing is worse than a month's worth of cleaning duties, honestly."

You frown, biting the inside of your cheek and staring down at the polished tile beneath your feet. "Still, it doesn't feel right, you taking the blame and...punishment for me. I can't stand the thought of you getting in trouble because of something I did, especially when it's...it's not your fault, and you shouldn't have to—"

"I don't think of it as punishment."

"You don't?"

You look up, watching as Eddie's chocolate eyes seem to sparkle in the dim light of the candle-lit hallway. "I've been here longer than you. It would've been much worse if you'd taken the fall."

Eddie's fingers are gentle and warm against your own, his calloused hands brushing over your palm with a feather-light touch. You watch as he carefully wraps the gauze around the wound again, his brows furrowed in concentration as he secures the fabric tightly.

"I think you're being too kind to me," you murmur, feeling your heart race as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face. "I don't deserve it."

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head and stepping back with a sigh. "What if I have an ulterior motive?"

You frown, tilting your head in confusion. "Ulterior motive?"

"Mhm. What if I'm only doing it so you'll see how good I am and fall madly in love with me? Hmm?"

You blush, unable to form words as Eddie grins mischievously. "I—you—what?"

"Kidding, sweetheart, I'm kidding," Eddie says with a chuckle, reaching out to gently pat your head. "I'm just trying to make you smile, that's all."

"Well, you're very good at it."

"You think so?"

"Yes," you breathe, surprised by the sudden sincerity in your voice. "I'm glad we're friends, Eddie."

"Me too, sweetheart."

After that night, you couldn't seem to get those stupid words out of your head.

Eddie had been joking, of course. The two of you were close, but he didn't have feelings for you. Of course not. Not like that. How could he? How could someone as sweet and handsome and wonderful as him like you of all people, when there were so many other girls who were prettier, with more money and manners than you could ever hope to achieve?

You sigh and return your focus to where you're meant to be helping your lady get dressed, dutifully lacing the ties of her corset and giving them a good tug.

You know that he'd meant it in good fun. Know that he had most likely forgotten about it as soon as he'd said it—but for whatever reason, you can't seem to.

It's so annoying.

You love Eddie. He is your friend, of course. And while you both had never broached any territory close to a romantic relationship, you aren't stupid or blind. You aren't oblivious enough to the way his dark eyes seem to linger on you for a little too long. To how he holds the door open and gently touches the small of your back whenever the two of you are walking through the castle or descending the grand staircase.

God, you could go on and on and on about him.

"Miss, you seem rather distracted," your lady remarks, causing you to flush with embarrassment. "Did you tie my corset too tight, by chance?"

"Oh—I'm sorry, my lady," you reply, shaking yourself from your thoughts and adjusting the laces once more. "There���how is that?"

"Much better."

After helping her into her dress and pinning her hair into place, you follow her out of her chambers and down the corridor to the grand staircase, where a few other servants are already waiting for her. Tonight you and most of the other servants will finally have some time to yourselves — the family you serve is going to be attending a lavish dinner party with many other high-class members of society.

They're going to be gone for most of the night, and though usually you'd look forward to this sort of thing, you can't seem to muster the same excitement as usual.

You just aren't...feeling it tonight.

You sigh and make your way down the stairs, where the front doors have just opened and your lady and her husband are now heading out to their carriages. Once they're all gone, the rest of the servants will enjoy their rare free time as well, either staying in their quarters or heading into the town. Maybe that's what you should do, you think; go into town and distract yourself from your confusing thoughts about a certain valet, now that you have the luxury of time on your hands and no expectations of anyone.

"Miss, you seem a little flushed. Are you feeling well?" Eddie asks mischievously, stepping up behind you and reaching out to brush his fingers against the back of your neck. "You don't have a fever, do you?"

You jump, startled by the sudden touch and turning to look up at Eddie with a huff. "Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me like that. You scared me half to death."

"Oh, did I?" Eddie asks, and the corners of his lips twitch upwards into a crooked grin. "Sorry about that."

You roll your eyes and try to suppress the sudden butterflies in your stomach. God, how could you have let yourself fall for someone like him, anyway? He'll be the death of you.

"Is there something on my face?"

"Oh, er...no," you murmur, suddenly feeling very flustered. "I was just lost in thought. I suppose you're also staying?"

"Staying?"

"Here."

Eddie makes a confused face, tilting his head in an adorable expression of perplexity. "Where would I go?"

You frown. It seems unlike Eddie to not find some sort of adventure in the rare and little free time you're given; he's always the first one eager to ride out to town and spend a free evening gambling and drinking with his friends, but this time, he doesn't seem eager to go anywhere at all.

"You...don't want to head into town with the others?" you ask, unsure of whether or not you're prying too much. "I heard the pubs are having a sale on ale and—"

Eddie sighs, running a hand through his curly dark locks and shrugging his shoulders. "Eh. I'm not in the mood, I guess."

You tilt your head, intrigued by his sudden change in behavior. Usually, he's the life of the party, the one who brings a room together with his energy and humor, but now, he seems almost...dejected.

"Eddie, is everything alright? Did something—"

"Fine," he replies a little too quickly, his voice sounding strained. He gives you a forced smile and reaches out to gently touch your shoulder. "Just tired, that's all."

You frown, unconvinced. "If there's something bothering you, you can always—"

"Sweetheart, don't worry, okay?" Eddie murmurs, his dark eyes sparkling in the dim light of the entrance hall. He leans closer, his fingers gently grazing over your cheek, and for a moment, your breath catches in your throat. "Promise."

Before you can say anything else, he's turning on his heel and heading towards the back staircase, his valet uniform swishing behind him as he goes.

You blink, your fingers lightly touching where his hand had been moments before. The sudden brush of his skin had sent electric shocks throughout your body, a heat building up inside your belly that you can't seem to get rid of.

"Excuse me," one of the maids whispers as she walks by, startling you from your trance. "I need to clear this hallway."

"Oh, um...sorry," you reply, flustered. "I'll get out of the way."

By the time you reach the servants quarters, most of the staff that had received permission to go out has already left. Most of the doors are closed, and the sound of chatter and footsteps and laughter fades out into the distance as you head towards your bedroom and gently shut the door behind you.

Your share your room with three other girls, but none of them are anywhere to be seen now.

Thank God.

You sigh, the dull roar of your thoughts finally starting to quiet down as you sit at your small desk and lean your head against the back of the chair.

You can't stop thinking about what had just happened.

Can't stop thinking about the sudden flirtatious behavior and the way Eddie had brushed his fingers against your cheek with a gentleness that made your knees buckle.

With a long, exhausted sigh, you rise to your feet and slowly start to unpin your hair from its tight bun. You replace your uniform with a simple cotton dress, comfortable enough for a night of light reading and...

A knock at your door jolts you from your thoughts.

"Hey, uh...sweetheart?"

You pause, blinking in confusion and taking a few tentative steps towards the door. "Eddie?"

It can't be.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Is something wrong?"

Eddie chuckles softly on the other side of the door, his voice sounding muffled by the heavy oak. "No, nothing's wrong. I, um...I found a jar of wine in the pantry that Mr. Harrington doesn't know about. Thought you might wanna join me?"

You bite your lip, a wave of nerves rushing through your body as you slowly reach out for the door handle. He shouldn't be here and you definitely shouldn't open the door.

But some things are easier said than done.

You carefully turn the knob and pull it back.

He looks downright sinful, his valet uniform unbuttoned at the collar, a few loose strands of hair falling over his forehead, dark eyes sparkling mischievously in the dim light of the hallway.

He holds the jar in his hand, the liquid sloshing around inside and giving off a slight spicy aroma that you can almost already taste on your tongue.

Male servants like Eddie are strictly forbidden from coming anywhere near the women's quarters, and if someone were to find you, it would be a hell of a lot of trouble for both of you.

"I—are you insane?" you whisper, unsure of whether to shut the door in his face or let him in. "If the housekeeper—"

"Come on, sweetheart, live a little. It'll be fun," Eddie murmurs, stepping closer and leaning forward so his face is level with yours. "Trust me."

You stare at him for a few more tense moments, your heart racing and your palms sweaty against the cool brass handle of the door.

Finally, you swallow thickly and step back, making room for Eddie to come inside.

As soon as he crosses the threshold, you shut the door quickly and lean back against it, waiting for the sound of footsteps or yelling or anything that would indicate the presence of another servant or staff member.

"Chill, sweetheart," Eddie murmurs with a smirk, carefully opening the window a crack and lighting a match to ignite a few candles. "Nobody's gonna come looking for us. Everyone's gone."

"Mrs. Byers is not, no," you argue, crossing your arms over your chest with a huff. Most of the time, you like the housekeeper; she is the closest thing to a motherly figure in your life right now. But she's also incredibly strict when it comes to rules. "She's probably somewhere lurking, as always."

Eddie chuckles softly, winking playfully in your direction. "Well, then we'll have to keep it down."

"Oh, for God's sake. Just open it already."

Carefully, Eddie pries the cork off the jar of wine and takes a swig, a grin playing on his lips. He takes a few steps towards you, holding the bottle out for you to take.

"Want some?"

"It's bad for your liver."

"Everything in life is bad for your liver," Eddie replies, tilting his head to the side. "C'mon, sweetheart. It's good."

You glance down at the bottle, taking in the sweet scent of dark cherries and spices, the bright purple liquid swirling around inside like a whirlpool.

You reach out, your fingers brushing against Eddie's as you take the jar and lift it to your lips, taking a sip.

The taste is unlike anything you've ever experienced. It's sweet and tart and spicy and rich, all at the same time, with an intense burst of flavor on your tongue that you never thought possible.

Feeling your skin warm, you hand the jar back to Eddie and watch as he drinks deeply, his eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the candlelight.

"Are you sure no one will miss this?" you ask, glancing down at the bottle and wondering how expensive it might've been. "What if Mr. Harrington finds out?"

"He won't. Not if we don't make too much of a fuss," Eddie replies, his voice growing softer. "I bet nobody's even thought to look for it. And besides, he wouldn't know it was us anyway."

You cross your arms, raising a challenging brow as you sit on the edge of your bed. "How can you be so sure?"

"There's plenty of wine in the cellar," Eddie counters with a grin, putting his hands up as if he's surrendering. "I didn't steal all his wine. I merely took one that was already there."

"Don't take anymore."

"No promises."

"Eddie."

"Sweetheart."

The nickname sends a rush of heat to your cheeks and you shake your head, fighting a smile as you smooth the fabric of your dress.

He takes a swig of the wine, never taking his eyes off you, and leans back against the wall, the familiar scent of him drifting towards you like a wave of summer air.

"It's good, isn't it?" Eddie asks, cocking his head to the side. "And you're, ah...you're really pretty tonight."

You roll your eyes and try not to look too affected, pushing the stupid fluttery feelings back down into your stomach and stomping them out like tiny little sparks. "Are you already drunk?" you ask, chuckling.

"Pfft, no."

"Then why are you suddenly talking nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense," Eddie protests, his ears turning red. He shakes his head and moves closer, setting the wine jar down on the desk and rubbing the back of his neck. "I think you're...really great, sweetheart. Really amazing. In every single way."

"Uh-huh, sure."

You look away, pretending to be interested in something else so that Eddie doesn't have a chance to read the emotions on your face and pick up on all of the pent-up love for him you've stored inside for the last months — love that is, you've decided, better off locked up tightly in the chest in the corner and never spoken aloud.

He looks different in the soft and sultry orange glow of the low-burning candle, though — his curls illuminated by the light, his dark eyes sparkling, his soft lips curved into a gentle smile.

"Hey."

Eddie sits down beside you, and the heat of his body radiates outward and dances across your skin like the waves of a flickering flame.

He smells clean and warm and fragrant, like soap and fresh laundry.

You lean closer, looking up at him through your lashes and watching as he nervously wrings his hands together.

"You know," Eddie murmurs, smiling gently. "You make my life a lot more interesting than it used to be."

"Are you suggesting I cause you a lot of trouble, then?"

"Not at all," he replies, laughing softly and looking back up at you, his expression softening. "More like...just makes me wanna keep coming back to you, over and over. Even when I don't have to. And especially when I need someone to talk to."

You bite your lip, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you let his words sink in. "Is that why you're here right now? To talk?"

He blinks, his tongue swiping out over his lower lip as his gaze drops to your mouth. "Are you drunk, by any chance, sweetheart? Be honest."

"Why would you—"

"Because I'm about to kiss you, and I want you to be sober."

His words come out breathless, his eyes flicking up to meet yours as your lips part in surprise.

"I am...not drunk," you reply, holding his gaze and leaning closer, your hands tingling from his sudden proximity. "I'm entirely in my right mind. Definitely."

He grins crookedly. "Really?"

"Really."

"So, if I did..."

Eddie's voice trails off as he inches forward, his eyes lidding slightly as he moves closer and closer and...

He stops, his nose inches from yours, and the tips of his long fingers gently brush over your chin, lifting your face up to meet his. "This okay?"

"Yes," you manage, your voice hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

"Good."

His lips are soft when they finally brush against yours, gentle and warm and inviting, and you inhale sharply, feeling yourself go weak in the knees.

He tastes like spice and cherry, and you reach out to grip his shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, your head spinning as he kisses you back with equal fervor, his hand gently cupping the back of your neck to keep you steady.

You gasp softly, his teeth grazing over your lip and sending a shock of electricity through your core, and you reach out, your fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket as you hold onto him for dear life.

"Fuck," Eddie breathes, panting softly as he finally pulls away. "God, that was good."

"It was," you whisper, looking up at him and biting your lip. "Worth the wait."

"Wait, what?" Eddie asks, raising a brow.

You blink, realizing you'd said that last part out loud and instantly wanting to crawl under the bed and die. "Uhm...nothing."

"Oh, please," he murmurs, smirking. "Tell me more. Did you have to wait a long time for this to happen, sweetheart? Hmm?"

"Absolutely not," you reply a little too quickly. "Forget I said anything."

"Nope, not letting you get away with that. What are you trying to hide, huh? How long have you been harboring secret feelings for me?"

"You're ridiculous."

"Am I?"

You lean back, your body screaming in protest as Eddie gently pushes you back onto the pillows and straddles your hips. He's heavier than you realized, and his fingers are calloused from years of work, but the mere thought of him touching you sends goosebumps up and down your arms and legs.

"Do you like me?" he whispers, his lips brushing against your neck and sending sparks down your spine. "Hmm?"

"Eddie, we—"

"Please, just...just tell me. At least let me hear you say it."

He pulls back, his eyes searching yours as he waits for you to answer. Your heart is racing, blood rushing through your ears and making you lightheaded and dizzy.

"I...no," you whisper, grinning when he raises a brow and scoffs. "Fine. Maybe. Only a little bit."

"Liar."

"Okay. More than a little bit. Maybe...maybe, I even love you, alright? Jesus. There, I said it."

Eddie's jaw drops, his pupils blown wide. "What, seriously?"

"Oh, alright, get off of me. I'm done with you."

"Hey, no, wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry," he breathes, grabbing your wrists and pinning your arms above your head. "Don't—don't go anywhere."

"Eddie."

"Shh."

He chuckles, his warm breath fanning over your lips and making you weak in the knees. "What?" you rasp, struggling against his grip, stubborn in your attempts to stay mad.

"You love me, hm?" he muses, smiling brightly and making your heart skip a beat.

"I take it back."

"You're not allowed to," he breathes, his mouth barely an inch away from yours. "That's not how it works, sweetheart. Sorry."

"You're very annoying."

"And you're very pretty when you're frustrated," he murmurs, brushing his lips over yours. "I...love you too, in case you didn't know."

"You what?"

"Love you," he repeats, his cheeks flushing pink. "Madly. Desperately. Quite embarrassingly, in fact, sweetheart."

You blink, your breath catching in your throat. "Really?

"Really," Eddie breathes, kissing you softly once more. "Shoulda kissed you the second I met you. Wish I had."

"Well," you murmur. "I suppose you'll just have to make up for lost time, won't you?"

[sketchehm]

ik the likelihood of sapnap spending his bday in argentina w team mafia is probably unlikely anymore bc the dates keep changing but i was rewatching the sapnap christmas event vod when they were talking abt him celebrating his bday in argentina and i was like gasp baby sapnaps first bday w the boys!!!!!!

them celebrating the day shadoune found him and he probably doesn’t even know what a bday so he’s just going about his day normally but notices all the guys are acting so ODD? serpias and piru are more cuddly, giving him more cheek kisses than usual? farfa is staying home and not going on some mission?? all the boys are being more doting?? spreen is being NICE?!?!? well at least as nice as he can be w babynap…

he kind of shrugs it off because he has a very important day planned!!! big boy important missions with peele of course (peele just babysitting him while he goes around doing his baby things).

comes back and to the base to all the guys throwing a lil surprise party for him🥺🥺 and everyone’s there!!!! nutria 23, sylvee, the churro!!!!

poor baby still does understand what’s going on even when one of the boys explain. like ur giving me presents because you found me a year ago? why didn’t u just give me presents then???? what do u mean this happens EVERY YEAR?

and it’s all very sweet and fluffy and his cake is shaped like a dedita and nutria 23 does more tricks for him and it’s all so wholesome

AWWW!! Dude I love everything about this TwT

Everyone acting nicer and the baby is just....this is sus...but there is no time to worry about that!! Stop hugging him Serpias!!! He needs to go on his missions with Peele!!!!

I can imagine Spreen acting nice...er....to the baby and Sapnap is like....something is /wrong/. Spreen must be sick D:

He will add it to his list of missions to get something that will make Spreen feel better :D (he will beg peele for deditas, peele will tell him no...)

When its just him and peele wandering around and peele telling him he cant do half his missions(no you cant go fight the giant frogs they will EAT you), it quickly turns to Peele trying to prevent Sapnap from going back to the main part of the base pfft

"Oh let's go to the mountain instead!!"

"No don't wanna >:("

Sapnap constantly asking for various members to play with him, asking for sylvee, ect ect

Peele saying ohh...they're busyy!! Haha.....Sapnap getting increasingly frustrated....no one wants to play with him >:'(!!

WELL! He doesn't need them then!!! :'(

It's a lot of him huffing and puffing around with Peele carrying the various things the baby says are important for his "missions". Usually all the guys are doing something around the base too and he can "help" them or entertain himself like that, but its...just him and peele. It feels empty....

Regardless! He's super busy!! (He's making the ugliest builds known to man)

When he's all tuckered out, Peele will finally say they can go back home! Yay :D!

And when he toddles back, entering and every yelling suprise!!! Confetti everywhere!!!!! :0!!!! What's happening?!?!

The guys are picking him up and throwing him around, cheering him on!! It's his birthday?????

And as he tries to grasp it, he spots all the colorful present boxes and he just wants!! It's his birthday and that means presents!! Make it his birthday every day what the heck?!!

He eats SO much cake, it's him and sylvee running around, nutria 23 is like that clown that's always invited to hispanic bday parties and performing all types of tricks and making the grown ups do silly things for the babies heheh (spreen gifted HIM deditas oh my GOD!)

He's basically knocked out by the end of it. He loves his birthday so much :>

[tinytinyblogs]

San As Your Boyfriend

Boyfriend

(n.) A person who 90% of the time annoy you, and 10% of the time makes you forget the 90%

Ateez masterlist here

San is so proud to be your boyfriend that he can't help but talk about you all the time. He's always telling the other members how cute you are, how smart you are, and how much he loves you. He even wears your sweaters around the dorm so that everyone can see how lucky he is to have you. Sometimes, the other members have to shut him up because he's getting too annoying. But they know that he's just being a proud boyfriend, and they can't help but smile at his enthusiasm.

San is a very expressive person, and he loves to talk about his day. He'll often come home from work and lay his head on your lap while he tells you all about what happened. He'll use his hands to gesture and his eyes to emphasize his points. And he'll always end his story with a big smile on his face. If you try to ignore him while he's talking, he'll start to whine. He'll say things like, "But you're not listening to me!" or "I want you to pay attention to me!" He might even start to pout or cross his arms. But if you give him your full attention, he'll be so happy. He'll wrap his arms around you and hold you close. He might even refuse to let you go until you give him a kiss.

San is a very dramatic person, and he loves to ham it up for attention. So when you give him a sudden kiss, he'll definitely be dramatic about it. He'll clutch his heart and gasp for air, like he's just been shot. He might even keel over and pretend to faint. Then he'll look up at you with big, innocent eyes and say, "Oh my god, I think you need to give me one more kiss." You'll laugh at his dramatics, but you'll also be touched by his reaction. You know that he loves you very much, and he's just so happy to be with you.

San once bought you a plushie couple as a gift. He loves to bring it with him everywhere he goes, even when he can't be around you. The plushie reminds him of you and makes him feel closer to you even when you're apart. When San has to go far away from you, he'll call you nonstop. He just wants to hear your voice and know that you're okay. He can't imagine his life without you, and he's so grateful to have you in his life.

San is not the most experienced when it comes to taking care of people when they're sick. But when you're feeling under the weather, he'll do his best to make you feel better. He'll start by holding you close and cuddling you. He knows that physical touch can be very comforting when you're feeling sick. He'll also try to make you laugh, because he knows that laughter is the best medicine. If you're in pain, San will be worried as hell. He'll want to do whatever he can to make you feel better. He might ask you if you need anything, or he might just sit by your side and hold your hand. San might not be the most experienced caregiver, but he's always there for you when you need him. He loves you very much, and he wants to make sure that you're feeling better.

Boyfriend San is the one who you can lean on. He has a lot of skills, which means he can deal with so many things you're struggling with. San is a very capable and resourceful person. He's good at problem-solving, and he's always willing to help out. He's also very patient and understanding, which makes him a great listener. If you're struggling with something, San is the perfect person to talk to. He'll listen to you without judgment, and he'll offer you his support and advice. He'll also help you come up with solutions to your problems.

San is the best one who can lift up your mood. He always has a way to make you smile, even on the worst day of your life. His presence alone is already healing. San is a very positive and optimistic person. He always sees the good in people and in situations. This positive attitude is contagious, and it can help you to see the good in your own life, even when things are tough. San is also very creative and funny. He's always coming up with new ways to make you laugh. His sense of humor can help to take your mind off of your problems and make you feel better. And even when he's not saying anything, San's presence can be healing. Just being around him can make you feel safe and loved. His warm smile and gentle touch can help to soothe your soul. If you're ever feeling down, San is the perfect person to talk to. He'll listen to you without judgment, and he'll offer you his support and encouragement. He'll also help you to see the good in your life, even when things are tough.

🔖: @yustea

[canisbrutus]

Now you got me interested in Tom’s family more, I always sorta headcanoned him and Gurney could be related because Tom asks “ever set a house on fire?” And Gurney’s spin with arson…got any more??

oh boy youve just opened a can of worms. Let's See.

Tom & Gurney 🧿🎹

gurney himself, despite being 'a crazy ass arsonist,' is the most rational person in that family.

hell the arson shtick is kind of a persona for him. he did set his parents house on fire once, which made them ship him off to boarding school, but that was for good reason.

and honestly? sending him away was the best thing they ever did for him. but they sure didnt do the same for tom.

gurney wanted that same freedom for his younger brother. so as soon as he was stable he came back for him.

tom had a hard time adjusting, given his situation.

until this point tom was homeschooled and largely sheltered.

but thank fuck he met the bully boys. yes they're cruel to many but something was Different about tom.

gurney's self defense lessons paid off.

yeah he made Sure his brother was prepared for the hell that was that school. wanted him to make it through to the other side in one piece.

wanted a better life for him in general, above all else.

aside from that, gurney also lets him indulge in some of the things he cant buy himself, now that he was legally an adult in the eyes of the courts.

smoked together, let him have a beer from his 6 packs, etc.

rarely let his friends have some too on occasion, but not all of them were welcome in his house. (like Davis.)

random fact i cant shoehorn anywhere else: Zoe is also their roommate. she lives in the basement, ran away from home after dropping out, sings screamo in gurney's band. he took her in because he knows damn well how that feels.

Tom & His Parents 🧿⛓

CW: abuse, brainwashing, antisemitism & similar mentions. i will not lie this hits close to home for me personally, and there is a very good chance it will do the same for some of you. Tom was a victim of a much more mundane evil, one i have experience with, though not to the same severity thankfully. regardless: this will not be a pleasant ramble.

his parents were, as some say, off the deep end.

a particular evil that plagued many and got especially ramped up in the states after 9/11.

'far right' is one way to put it, though it doesnt quite encapsulate the full package, imo.

they bought into that conspiracy about the government being ran by lizard alien people. among other things.

the whole world was out to get them, steer their children away from god and his glory, with perverts everywhere trying to defile and rape their precious angels.

as such, public education was not to be trusted.

for the longest time tom and his brother were kept 'safe,' isolated with little more than the church gatherings to keep them sane.

tom still has nightmares about that.

but gurney was sick of asking why. why they had to wear those stupid hats, why he couldnt watch cable tv, why they werent allowed on the computer alone.

so he broke the rules snuck out and got on the road to becoming that 'satanic backstabbing piece of shit' we know and love today.

after which he of course snapped further and said Fuck This House, setting it ablaze forcing them to move and also making them give him his gift of freedom Miles Away.

but circling back to Tom: he was still an angel.

untouched, impressionable. not to be around his brother anymore.

they did Everything to keep him Safe.

they loved him very, very much.

but people that love you are still very, very capable of hurting you.

what they didnt wasn't right. it was suffocating.

and they fought tooth and nail trying to get him back.

dug through the news archives, recognized gurney from his band, followed him home after a concert one day, waited, tried to break in. tried to take tom Home.

that ended poorly for them. thankfully.

tom's experiences are part of the reason he likes horror so much, honestly. but it's different.

at least in movies, you can tell its clearly bad.

in real life, there usually arent any bodies in the basement. no monsters in the woods, no cults sacrificing people. no masks to drop, no big reveal.

because it was never an act to begin with, sometimes.

sometimes people, even your parents, are just wrong.

and they cannot be saved by reason.

at least tom had a brother that had both the knowledge and willpower to save him. not all of us have that luxury.

[hc masterpost link]

[makiruz]

Part 4 of the Liir fanfic!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Edit: Part 5

Hey friends, remember how I mentioned this thing was starting to grow a plot? Well let's talk.

The plot it's about historical revisionism; the good kind, where we look back at the past and realize our historical heroes were slave owners, and the terrorists were freedom fighters

As I alluded before, Animals in Oz actually have a more positive opinion of Elphaba, she's seen as a martyr, some even see her as a saint (as for the Wizard? No fuck that guy), and as I mentioned before I like the idea that Elphaba actually has human supporters; so as time goes on, Animals get reintegrated into Ozian society, and exiles (both Animal and human) return to Oz and the narrative starts to shift, the stories of how the Green Witch freed me from a cage, and how she saved me from a human lynch mob, and how she tended my sick child while were on the run, and how she let us hide in her castle in Winkie Country, and so on, it spreads and people start to question the official narrative of The Wizard. And it's apparently a thing in the books that decades after Elphaba's dead, her and Nessarose are perceived as national heroes in Munchkinland and Dorothy is put to trial when she returns to Oz

So I'm trying to read Sentimental Fathers and Green Daughters, and some parts really compel me, but others really annoy me; and the part where young green Rain is convinced she's gonna turn evil, like the Wicked Witch of the West, her family's worst enemy is one of those things, because it's interesting but why has no one question the official story? AHHHH

Anyway enough bashing other people's work and more plot: The plot is that around the time Rain is born, attitudes in Oz about the so called "Wicked Witch of the West" have shifted, the West, the Vinkus mostly; they're very pro-Witch now, talking about how she did literally nothing wrong, and she didn't even rule the West, and the anti-Animal laws the Wizard pushed were what actually was Wicked, and I never liked the Emerald City anyway. When Rain is a child the rehabilitation of Elphaba Thropp is in full force, which actually pleases Glinda, except there's a problem: reexamining Elphaba Thropp as a defender of the weak, means her perceived enemies are now perceived under a negative light; her perceived enemies meaning, the Wizard, and Glinda Upland of Gillikin. Yeah, turns out that working for the system and not challenging the established narrative does not do you favors when the narrative shift; and since Fiyero was presented as also an enemy of the Witch the entire family is tagged as the worst enemies of the Witch, which means both Glinda and Liir are getting the wall, oh my god, the Irony

Someone who also is getting the wall is Boq, he never really changed his stance on Elphaba, and he is one of the people who killed her, so... Brrr the Lion becomes pretty freaking controversial because he also helped killed Elphaba Thropp, but he's also champion of Animals, and he does tell the story of how the Witch saved him when he was a cub. Interestingly someone who is NOT getting the Wall is the Scarecrow, you see, while he was also part of the group sent to kill Elphaba Thropp, pretty much since day after the Witch was killed he has advocated on her behalf, insisting she wasn't as bad as she was said to be, and she had a tragic backstory, and et cetera, et cetera, and he also worked hard on helping Animals everywhere, Glinda never noticed because she was busy trying to rebuild Oz after the Wizard while being a single mother

Oh, and reflection I'm postponing the reunion of Elphaba and Fiyero, because I feel she shouldn't be in Oz while her image is being rehabilitated, she's in exile (she did visit Rain when she was born and did cry upon discovering the little girl was green like her). You know this gives me the idea that part of the change in Elphaba's image might be related to exiles and people from outside of Oz (Ev or wherever she went) bringing back stories of a green witch who is good and kind, and might or might not be Elphaba Thropp who faked her dead

An important part of this part of the story is preventing Glinda and Liir from getting the Wall; DNA hasn't been invented yet, and trying to claim Glinda was always on the Witch's side sounds awfully convenient with no evidence (this is why Elphaba can't be in Oz while all of this is happening)

[samoankpoper21]

Levi, I'm Pregnant...

Summary: Levi made it very clear that he wasn't too keen on having children but the universe has a way of throwing you off; modern! au

Side note: Anything with < text > is Levi's thoughts.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, you anxiously paced back and forth, gnawing at your bottom lip, trying to come up with different ways to tell Levi the one thing you knew he may dread: I'm pregnant. How could have this happened? Growing up you've always experienced irregular periods so this time you didn't think much of it...that was until the nausea started kicking in, the fatigue crashes, the way your nose would scrunch up at certain scents i.e lavender, pickles, honey, garlic; and the fact that you were always so god damn horny for Levi. You took the first test and it came back positive. Nah that can't be right. The first one is most likely a false positive. You took a second one a week later. Positive. Third times a charm right? POS.I.TIVE. While Levi was at work you scheduled an appointment with your primary doctor. "Congratulations! You're 11 weeks along!"

In the midst of your pacing, you failed to realize Levi step foot in the house until he plopped his briefcase down and stared at you causing you to gasp. "Hey baby." you squeaked.

"Hey you. What are you doing?"

"Huh?" you noticed Levi slightly frowning, you knew that he was catching on to you. "Baby I made dinner why don't you wash up?" Levi stared at you a beat longer and sighed. "Tch. Fine."

You both sat for dinner and you suddenly felt a bit queasy, it's mac and cheese for goodness sake! This was your comfort food! You cleared your throat and began to drink your orange juice - heeding your coworker's advice of eating oranges to deal with the nausea. Without a beat Levi's eyebrow shot up, he knew you wanted to tell him something but was waiting for you to approach the subject. You don't realize it but you gnaw your lips and avoid eye contact when there's something heavy on your mind. Levi continued eating the steak, mashed potatoes, and string beans you set out for him. "How was work today baby?"

"Oh uh it was fine. How about you?" <there shes goes again gnawing at her damn lips>

"Same shit, different toilet." You chuckled at his response but went back to gnawing your lips. You could feel Levi staring holes into you as you looked everywhere but him. "Tch." His impatience was rising with you but he didn't want to make you feel rushed. <What could be so fucking important that she can't spit it out?!> The rest of the night progressed as "normal" as you tried to make it. As you were both preparing for bed you got a whiff of honey, ran to the toilet, and began throwing up; Levi instantly behind you holding your hair. "Oi. What's wrong with you? Are you getting sick or something? You better not be I swear to God if you are-"

"No," your eyes started tearing up, hands shaking.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?"

You hastily stood up to blow your nose, rinse out your mouth, and turned to look at him. <Oh no...is she...leaving me??>

"I don't know how else to tell you this so I'm just going to shoot it to you straight...I'm pregnant." <What...> Levi standing there with no response trying to figure out the mechanisms of it drove your anxiety through the roof, upset even. "Fine then! Good talk." You were trying to rush past him but he was too quick. "Oi, it's rude to walk away when people are still having a conversation."

"Well it's rude not to say anything when your girlfriend gives you life shattering news you twat!" you spat out. Your crumbled into his arms sobbing. This damn pregnancy! Levi carried you and placed you on the bed gently, he kneeling in front of you. "Levi, I hic I'm s-sorry," you tried to explain through the tears. "I, hic, I I know hic you said you hic don't want kids but hic it just happened! Okay?!" Levi was drawing patterns into your hands. "Y/N I never said I didn't want kids."

"Yes you did! When hic I brought it hic to your attention you said no hic that they're little shits!"

"Y/N I only said that because I'm scared," he whispered. "I don't want my kid to go through what I went through." You gently tilted Levi's head with your finger to look up to you, into your eyes, gently grasping both sides of his face. "Baby they don't have to." you whispered.

A beat of silence passed with Levi closing his eyes leaning his face into your hands. You began running your hands through his hair.

"I-"

"F-" you both stopped and began to awkwardly laugh. "What were you going to say?" he asked.

"You go first."

"Shit heads go first."

"Ha ha you're so funny," you dryly responded. You took a deep breath and said, "I'm keeping the baby. With or without you." A moment of silence passed when he replied, "Oh the irony because I was going to say fuck it, yolo." Your face lit up. "Really? Baby really?! We're really doing this?!"

"Shut up will you." you jumped up, embracing him in a hug, plastering kisses all over his face. He laid both of you down and you nuzzled into him more, your foreheads touching. "Baby."

"What?"

"You're going to be a great father."

[mcbeetlebeeb]

yo more john stuff would be sick if you may (pls and thx :>)

oh jeez oh man oh snap-

yeah I can do that for you, congrats on being the first person too use my ask box thing 🎉

anywho, I can't guarantee this will be proofread until like- maybe tommorow when I read threw it but uyhhmmbb.. yeah general headcannon??- stuff?

John Egbert

unfortunately a bit emotionally constipated

not a great big deal (maybe a bit of a lot)

but on contrary, I don't think he'd be someone to be very beat around the bush with those sorta feelings

at least physically? like, body language wise-

he'd be comfortable around you, you'd probably have him hanging around on you while he's floating around

godtiered John?

floating you everywhere

your godtiered?

don't care, he's lifting you effortlessly with his wind powers

but I think hed try to be pretty forward about his feelings

or at least he thinks he is-

touch starved™

like how I mentioned he'd be comfortable with you in a physical matter

not minding pda too much but much more affectionate in private

he'd be the type of person for you too fall asleep on his shoulder, and he'd let you 100%, maybe even lay his head on yours in return

I think hed be someone who's a bit easy to read if you can do eye contact

like I'd pitcure if one were to flirt with him, it'd go over his head a bit at first, not that he wouldn't ever get it

he would get it like, 5 minutes afterwards and then he can't bring it back up it cause 5 minutes has passed and oh god that was so obvious how did he not get that—

but back with the eye contact thing, I'd be easy to pick up on

easy to spot a mischievous or playful glint in his eye, it'd usally be paired with a grin

he'd be one too steal longing looks at you when your not paying attention

just letting internal monolog play out in his brain as he stares at you doing whatever

subconsciously messing with his fingers or the hem of his shirt

he'd pretend he's not looking when you look back at him, and or that he's wasnt just thinking of the most "silliest" of thoughts

he'd be good at hugs

or good at giving hugs?

good and secure, rests his head on your shoulder, his arms under yours too hug around your waist simply cause he wants you as close as possible

(he's totally not sniffing you)

I think hed be a giggly mfker if you catch my drift

one of you made a bad joke? he's laughing at it

you tripped and aren't seriously hurt?

laughing at you as he helps you up

very much a sweetheart though

even though I think he would be a bit- dense?- wrong word

stubborn- but not nessasarly in the way you think, he's set in certain ways, varying things stuck with him throughout sburb events (obviously‐)

but he'd still be a lil goober at heart yknow

not too much prying for it to takes to make him be a goober comfortably in your presence

like in the other post- his goofy energy is just gonna go right too you

just something about him makes one just- exist in the moment, although he mostly exists up in his head-

-i think he'd focus mostly on whoevers in front of him, their voice, what they're saying

amplified if he likes you, he's listening so intently

maybe a little too intently where he gets caught up in his thoughts, it's starts off of what he wants to say to respond,

focusing in on your voice and his mind trails off with how nice you sound, taking in the fact that your voice belongs too you

no one else, he's listening to no one else but you right now,

you'd be mid sentence and notice how hard he's staring at you, hell you could've been done with the sentence a minute ago and he'd still be up in his brain

asking what is wrong and he'd only respond with blinking his eyes at you, focusing in on your face rather your voice finding himself caught red handed

"uh- sorry— I was spacing out-"

spacing out my ass, he's thinking about how he wants to be closer, hear your voice at its most hushed

wanting to rest his head on your chest, listening to the sound of your breathing, the steady thump of your heart beneath his head

whenever he hugs you he wants it to be extra long, burying his head in the crook of your neck like he hasn't seen you in forever

he wants you, to hear you, he want you too want him like he wants you

I stop here I tired 3 in morning! 🛌💤

[blarrghe]

so far veilguard has not really hooked me, which is very new for me with a dragon age game. I'd say it's because I'm growing up and developing less obsessive habits, but I played the sims for like 6 hours straight the other day. I'm not very far in so this crit will be very minor and I'm still giving it the whole game (probably twice) before I actually put down Opinions, but I think I'm getting the vague sense of that "shallowness" that I am trying to avoid actually seeing people complain about already...

The biggest thing for me right now is something I'm going to throw to "pacing" or maybe "narrative buy-in" because, while it starts pretty much exactly like Inquisition, it somehow does even less to grip me and make me believe the threat. Inquisition already had the weakest plot so far imo, but the big bang at the beginning put a very visible mark on the sky from everywhere you went, and there was a lot of urgency in the makeshift refugee camp that was Haven. There's no urgency at the lighthouse. There's not even really urgency at the Arlathan forest camp. There's definitely no urgency in the cities, even though Treviso is under occupation and Tevinter just suffered a demon attack. Again, maybe that will change, but even though the maps are smaller I feel like the few beginning areas are still giving me that hinterlands effect where I can just get stuck wandering about doing minor sidequests and chatting with my companions and the TWO ALL POWERFUL ELVHEN GODS are just like. somewhere. chillin. I guess. Every time someone in my party casually says "the gods must have promised them something" or "the gods must be involved in this" I'm like. Oh right. That's what this game's villain is. Ok. At least in Haven we met Corypheus and he said a sick ass line?

So the big bang at the start is kind of anticlimactic. Solas is fine, just stuck in my head. Varric is fucking fine?? Like it's nice that he's not dead, I guess, I had real suspicions he'd die in that opening scene from the trailer and while I would have been sad it would have been a very good gut punch to get me motivated. By the time I was playing I did not really believe he'd be killed there, but he's just... idk. Sitting on a bed making little comments when I walk by (which I never really do because he's like, over in a room you don't need to go into unless you want to change your appearance). It's. Fine. Again, I'm sure story stuff will pick up and he'll have something important to say at some point. But right now it's. well it's boring. sorry.

I am enjoying the companions, but other than Harding whom I liked already they do not have their claws in me yet. I am the biggest defender of "quirky" female characters but Bellara's couple of personal dialogue scenes so far have fallen so flat for me. She's cute, don't get me wrong, but something in her scene being starstruck by Neve felt very unnatural, as did her emotional outburst and then reveal about her brother. It's a fine character backstory, it's not her voice actor or writer's fault (ok, I think actually maybe it is a little her voice actor, for me. sorry again.) but I just. Meh. And I mean, I might come to really love her. I came to love several other DA characters I did not like the first time around (including some polarizing fan favourites like Anders, Zevran, and Leliana, and some more universally disliked characters like Wynne and Vivienne)

I'm really... not loving the Crow content so far. Why are they good? Why is it portrayed like a cool, good underdog thing that they "rule Antiva"? I don't mind playing with Crow pride as I'm playing a Crow, but last I checked they're literally the mafia. And I enjoy the telenovella style family drama, I do, but it does seem a little... well. it's very telenovella, which is a fucking stereotype, yknow? idk. It feels, and here's that word, shallow. Also Lucanis' cousin is so obviously in cahoots I might just stab him before we figure it out.

And a lot of this actually goes back to Rook. I have seen the complaint that you are shoehorned into plucky hero, and I had this complaint about Inquisition with Responsible Hero and made it work by building a very Responsible character and I am invested in him, so that can work. Hawke also was distinctively Hawke and that's a fan favourite (although you can play a red hawke and it is notably different from purple and blue, but you can't exactly be whoever you want). Anyway, I made a pretty sassy Crow Rook, because I tend to like a sassy rogue (they're a mage, but, you know, spellblade) the first time through a game anyway, but the lack of control over tone is real and I think it's half of why Bellara is not hitting. Like why would she tell me any of this stuff I'm literally just some cool kid with tattoos and a criminal past she met the other day. I honestly miss the heavy mantle that Wardens and Inquisitors have with their companions. Rook's just some guy in the least just some guy way and it's weird.

Anyway. I don't know. There are things I really like. The combat is obviously very fun, and I like the definite missions and kind of streamlined quest approach. I like Varric's foreshadowy narrations that let me know things might actually pick up in the later acts. I like the more definite "act" structure, which was of course the most well-reviewed part of DA2. I see the potential for a cool story, especially with these trips into Solas' past, and I'm sure there will be new lore revelations for dwarves, too. But overall it's just. I don't know. I can put it down. I can put it down for days and days, and I'm 12 hours in to a game that probably has like a 30-40 hour playtime depending on how much you sidequest. I should be more hooked. I am also only 12 hours in. It will probably get better. But also. 12 hours! I've been home alone with it for almost a month!