#OUGHHH I AM NOT OKAY

[indrawzcord]

another fiore crying drawing by yours truely

[sunflowerrboyy]

THE TURNING OUT REFERENCE 😭😭😭

[skinandscales-if]

submitted by anon

----

HELLO??? ON ANON??? JUST BECAUSE???

I literally haven’t stopped looking at this since I’ve seen this- it’s STUNNING!! The way you made the palette more sunny + warm and your take on her little details 😭😭 the stickers??? I don’t think I’m gonna recover from this what the fuck your style is genuinely breathtaking

I hope you know that I would give the WORLD to you friend oh my god you should be paid in the millions for work like this I’m not even kidding

[dandyshucks]

writing this little fic so slowly bc i am actually actively falling asleep rn but ohhh i want to have it written.... i am full of love for him and i must make sure he knows it....

[astrxealis]

i will ignore ffvii until i play rebirth myself bcs just looking at art makes me want to cry (good) already

[milo-is-rambling]

Too emotional to jump back into the fic where I was earlier I’m gonna just bail on this one for now and read if eve ain’t in your garden

[sophegg]

god what i wouldn’t give to see wilbur go live and play like the front bottoms or whatever new music he’s into on his acoustic guitar. to watch him play geoguesser and do incredibly badly after telling chat he had been practicing and was still pretty good at this game. to have him teach chat internet safety for the sixty-seventh time. to listen to him ramble about some incredibly niche topic for 20 minutes straight. i lovejoy and i am glad he’s happy but also i miss streamer wilba……

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Now it's time to read my favorite fanfic, hehehe.

[a-canceled-stamp]

🪰

🪰 Recommend a fic that makes you sad (in the best way!!)! Some great angst and/or hurt/comfort!

OKAY so

Since hurt/comfort is what I consume daily I simply couldn't choose one fic for this lil bug. So I chose 4. Or. Technically 5. Just for you babes 😘 (mind you my oof meter may differ from other's oof meter. I am but a smol creature and can only take so much pain in my soup. Be advised.)

SYNCHRONICITY by orpheusaki ( @damianbugs). We're starting with the fic with the least amount of anguish, but one that still packs a punch. Nightwing and Dick!Robin swapping places. Angsty Dick & Bruce stuff happens in both the past and future, and y'all, it is INCREDIBLE. This author is just. Gah. Everything they do is pure gold, and this fic is no exception. Very much made me tear up and my heart hurt a lot, but I was def smiling by the end of it. This will hurt you but at least put a lil bandage over the bruise :)

Sprinklers by SunnyBlue. Tim & Damian feels bc OF COURSE. Tim is gravely injured and begs Damian to leave him. Damian refuses bc he secretly cares about his big bro. You know, the ush 😌💅 Yet another fic that left me with a lil bandaid over my bruise by the end of it, but man, this bruise was nasteeee. On a more serious note, this was one of the first Batfam fics I ever read, and made me realize the sheer talent that exists in this fandom. A fantastic read.

Identity by Miles_2_Go ( @miles2g0). OUGHHH. The greatest fic to ever fic. Lazarus Pit!Tim and Good Bro!Jason = AHJDKSHJDK. So much hurt/comfort. Love love love. This also offers a bandaid (from what I remember) but the hurt lingers dude. It lingersssss. Excellent writing, wonderful prose, INCREDIBLE characterizations, SUPERB angst....just GAH. I love it so much.

As for the last one...this is where we arrive in Oofville. Population? Whoever dare read this fic (this one might be familiar to you cue ashdjshdjk)

bile is sweeter by cuephrase ( @cuephrase). I read this a few weeks ago and y'all. I am still not okay. Shorter than the other recs but FUCK. The pain. THE PAIN. The Tim & Dick dynamic, the internal dialogue, Dick's fear and desperation, the ENDING- Ough. OUGH. And if you liked this one, Cue has just finished a sequel; Penance. Why did they write this, you ask? TO EMOTIONALLY MAIM THEIR FRIENDS THAT'S WHY. I've only read the first chapter but man. I already know I'm In Danger(TM) 🥲

Thank you for the ask!🌻💞

Send me a bug and I'll give you a fic rec!

[ghastlyvampire]

Large 1 am thought dump about the ghovie under the cut (contains spoilers) (it really is large and pretty disorganized and a bit random)

(I rewrote this at 8 am ☝️)

The theater was PACKED!! The session I went to was almost fully sold out. There were cosplayers where I went too, it was great. No merch available unfortunately, but hey I didn't even expect it to show in my country so I'm very pleased.

(downside: no popcorn because if we tried to get popcorn we would have been late. The popcorn line basically took over the cinema's entry hall. The ghovie coincided with a bunch of parents taking their kids to see inside out which made for a funny mix at the waiting line).

I basically didn't know anything about what to expect but it was so cool. I'M JUST SAD I COULDN'T GET THE LAST QR CODE IN TIME SIGH BUT IT'S OKAY!!

I went with my dad and he loved it. This is the first movie we watched in a theater that he somehow didn't fall asleep in the middle of LOL.

The downside: as usual, sexual innuendos were a bit awkward to witness when your father is sitting right next to you. That didn't stop me from enjoying anything though dkkskfkdk

I kind of wish the people in my session had been more... Idk I mean it was basically a concert right!! I was expecting more singing and stuff. I normally hate loudness but in these contexts I really like it, but judging by the wait line we were all nerds so it makes sense why no one was extroverted enough for that.

(We did all laugh sometimes and also everyone groaned at the cliffhanger which was funny) (twice, once when the screen turned black and then when the lights of the theater turned back on) (everyone waited)

I did unfortunately also conclude that there's like a 90% chance that I could not ever actually go to a Ghost concert (or most big concerts) because of the lights* 🥹 (autism). I just looked away whenever it got too much but I was also kind of transfixed but regardless I had fun.

*well, really thinking about it I would probably already be overwhelmed just by being in that big of a crowd. Then having to listen to it scream the whole time would have probably kill me so there's that

I got so scared that Copia was going to die at the end. My heart was beating so fast nearing the end and when the balloon thing start I was like It's Over. Then it wasn't!

(In my heart I kind of knew Tobias wasn't going to do that because we are all very attached to him at this point and I would imagine he is too)

THE SKELETONS WERE SO SILLY I LOVED THEM

The Mary On a Cross animation made me very happy

The costume changes were so cool to witness and I really liked Papa's (or Fráter's now, I guess hehe) little boxer outfit.

Someone brought their baby AND THE BABY DIDN'T CRY OR SCREAM ONCE! Idk how their mom did it since I'm sure they couldn't have been sleeping but maybe they were raised with Ghost so they were just as hooked into the movie as the rest of us.

Oughhh ouch now I'm craving cinema popcorn so bad I wish I could have seen the movie while eating popcorn.

It was nice to get the confirmation that Copia really is Nihil and Sister's son (even though we all knew).

When they were in that box thing I thought that Nihil was going to possess him. I was expecting for him to possess him when he did the pose too for some reason.

I was like wow I will be completely normal about this I'm not even autistic about Ghost anymore. Then I sat down on the chair and immediately was fighting back tears. Apparently I can never be Normal About Things (specifically Things That I Like a Lot).

IF YOU HAVE GHOSTS!!

The new song is great

I was sad that Sister died but she's a ghost so really it's okay.

Immediate edit: THE TWIN THING ALSO YEAH THAT WAS UNEXPECTED

I might edit this later with more thoughts but I'm too sleepy to think right now. If you somehow read everything then hiiii thank you for reading my messy thoughts

Edit #2: The ghovie had no ads before it. Like at all. I was pleasantly surprised but also feel bad for the people that went into it a bit late thinking they wouldn't miss anything because the ads usually take minutes.

Edit #3: Another reason that makes me think that I'd die at a real Ghost concert is that the music is probably very loud as well, and while my brain dislikes loud music that I like less than the other loud things, it's still not immune to it. Thinking about it, it's crazy that somehow I didn't feel overwhelmed by the sounds in the ghovie once, considering that usually that happens at least once in every movie I see on the theater. Idk if it's just me or they just made it like that, but I'm VERY pleased about that too.

If you want more specific spoilers then dm me I love rambling about things I like

[kittenchancorruptionarc]

(( Hey guys, it’s been a few days. I’m so sorry I left so suddenly, I was experiencing burn out yet again and this case was ESPECIALLY bad. I kept guilt tripping myself over my break too because I felt horrible for leaving everyone in the dark.

The TDLR is I got too ambitious with events again and I keep poorly managing both threads AND asks and I need to fix that.

So here’s my requests to YOU (the beautiful person reading this) and how I’m going to do things from now on:

-Please try not to spam the ask box if I have (a) thread(s) going on, it distracts me badly. I thought about closing them during threads but felt that’s not fair so I will leave them open and see if you guys can respect my wishes. I trust y’all will you’ve been nothing but kind and patient to me (AND IM SO GRATEFUL AHHH) but still.

-KEEP SERIOUS RPS IN THREADS PLEASE, doing it via asks is very straining for me sorry if that’s an inconvenience :,]

-I won’t be doing colored replies anymore unless it’s for added emphasis, it was taking too long and it gave me a headache ngl. I have eyesight problems and I honestly made them slightly worse doing that.

-I don’t know if I’ll do any events for a while, up until I’m in the swing of things again. I got too ambitious and got severely burnt out and tired. :,]

-Threads are not time sensitive, assume they’re in their own time bubble unless it’s A stream RP or auction event. I make those interactive on purpose! Otherwise the rest of them are again in their own time bubble!!! This is so I don’t drive myself insane with time sensitive scenarios.

-I might make non auction and such events ask box only or limit it to one or two BIG RP threads, as I notice that’s what burns me out the most X_X

These are my “new rules” I guess okay? I think it’ll help me a LOT with the issues I’ve been having.

Also, let’s just say the events wrapped up and I’m going to have to call off any threads I STARTED before my huge burn out, sorry but I keep blanking on them and it’s for the best. We can start fresh or do a new one completely but oughhh I need to just. Start on a clean slate for my sanity im sorry guys. I hope you understand.

Also, my main focus will be on Fox and my OC account from now on, which I am going to revamp to mainly focus on his TPOF version due to a majority of my rp partners being based in TPOF timeline anyways. Strade is a fun side project and I abandoned Ren because I wasn’t happy with how I portrayed him tbh. Maybe I’ll revisit the account later, but rn I have no drive for it.

Anyways, I hope this’ll help me get back into this account because I miss being here so much but oh my GOD I stressed myself out ;; ))

-Fox Mun 🦊

[dmsr-art]

i made a thread on twitter to yell about all my tlt holiday exchange gifts/treats but realized i hadn't done that here so LETS GO!!!

first up is this tridentariicest one that gave me pussy zoomies at 7am in the morning. ITS SOOOOO..... TRIDENTARII GIRLIES JUST READ IT OKAY. i am kissing anon on the mouth with tongue

the neon genesis evangelion au of MY DREAMS. anon did an incredible job translating tlt dynamics into this universe. alecto mech makes harrow CUM. i want to eat this fic

more tridentariicest 😳💦 nasty and full of delicious degradation and begging

CORONABETH FUCKS GIDEON NAV'S YUMMY DEAD BODY SICKOS STAY WINNING ANON U ARE A TRUE HOMIE

not one but TWO (!!!!) tridentariicest coronabeth big dicked bimbo puppy girl treats for little ol' me IM BARKING!!!! these two are incredibly hot and feature whining and drooling corona OUGHHH

[stiffyck]

I am LIVING for the hooved animal hybrid designs but I am also curious, have you ever considered…. Big cat centaur (or satyr??) Scar 👀👀

Like. Hm. Either cougar or caracal/desert lynx Scar for 3L, since they’re both kinda desert cats? I really love the idea of caracal Scar tho, with the big ears and fluffy tips :3c

LL Scar could be either a snow leopard or a Canadian lynx (I REALLY LIKE LYNX CATS OK)

DL Scar could be a Jellie panda lmao (or maybe a leopard or a panther?)

LimL Scar I feel like could be a tiger bc it would match his striped shirt hrhsjd

SL Scar I’m not really sure?? OUGGH WAIT ACTUALLY. Hear me out. Lion Scar, because of the kind of horrible irony of being a cat that belongs in a group (a pride), but, y’know the whole “how’d the guy with no friends win?” thing… ok that took a dark turn IM SORRY HSJFDK :’)

OUGHHH YES YES I HAVE ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT HOWEVER I CANNOT DRAW CATS FOR THE LIFE OF ME EVEN WITH REFERENCES. IDK WHAT IT IS ABOUT CAT BODIES I SIMPLY CANNOT DRAW THEM IN A WAY I FEEL LIKE IT LOOKS AT LEAST OKAY.

HOWEVER I HAVE DRAWN SATYR SCAR ACTUALLY. OR SMT SIMILAR-

HERE AND HERE

i should draw him again sometime!

[yuridovewing]

How did you make Rainflower worse? I'm really interested.

Rubs my hands together. I made that woman RANCID (Putting this under the cut because I predict it’ll get long and I wanna throw up a CW for abuse of power, child abuse, victim blaming, humiliation, and ableist abuse. Also disclaimer: haven’t reread Crookedstar’s Promise in a minute, and I want to, so this is subject to change)

Razorverse Rainflower… or as she’s properly called… Rainstar.

Just gonna plagiarize @/bonefall’s structure and stuff here lmaooo. Gonna list what I don’t care for about the canon version, what I’d like to do but am not sure how to go about it exactly, and what I know I want to do.

Canon:

-So, Rainflower. We all know her, she’s The Bad Mom. The one who renamed her son something ableist for the purpose of humiliating and disowning him. The one who never apologized, barely made any attempts to support him further, and fucked up Crookedstar’s self esteem and drove him into Mapleshade’s claws.

-I don’t have an issue with her being portrayed like this at all. Rainflower herself, as she’s presented in the book in a vacuum, is fine. I’m very anti “oh lets never talk about serious topics in kids content” because that’s an easy slippery slope into book banning to me. Her actions are portrayed as horrific, and if I remember correctly, Crookedstar doesn’t forgive her. No reconciliation. With several kids properties (and WC itself if we’re being honest) making plotlines about how you have to forgive your abuser or you suck, that’s honestly sort of refreshing. You’re not obligated to forgive your mother because she’s your mother. Fuck that. The ableism adds a whole extra layer to this as well because while I don’t remember specific caretaker abuse in the book, plenty of victims have spoken up about relating to Crookedstar. She really is the recipe for an intentionally awful character.

-That being said… man, it’s kinda weird how this random ass queen apparently has the power to rename her child something derogatory in the eyes of their god and the leader who is in charge of all this is like “yeah sure okay”, and everyone else is like “oughhh that bites! ah well though what can ya do? sorry infant, we’re cool with calling you a slur forever” and that is never addressed or seen as weird and we’re supposed to love all these other characters and see them as role models for Crookedkit.

-It makes RiverClan look Pretty Bad, Dude. Which would be cool if it was intentional-there’s actually a line in Cats of the Clans that implies Crookedstar struggled because of societal expectations, not just his mom’s disowning. I kinda wanna reincorporate that. Like, Rainflower isn’t just One Bad Mom, she’s a product of her environment, she has a clique of cats that think just like her.

-Also… while I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing in a kids book, yeah, Rainflower is pretty flat. Not completely- my best friend read the book recently and he actually made a great point that Rainflower’s kind of a bad mom even before the accident because she brags and brags about her kids, but doesn’t really look out for them, which makes them get hurt. She thinks her kids fart rainbows until one of them makes her look bad, after which she disowns and treats him poorly. But aside from that… there’s not much to her. She gives birth in a storm and has sentimental names because of that, she is a doting mama until she isn’t, and you could also say she’s vain.

-Again- all that is perfectly fine.

-But… and this may read as a little controversial to the fandom crowd… I like to add a bit more meat to abusive characters.

-Not necessarily by making them sympathetic, although that’s one way to do it if done properly and with the tact and attention it deserves.

-But I want to make them read more like people. People who have families and friends, who have hobbies and favorite foods and silly weekly routines. Who have fears and anxieties, who care deeply for the ones they love. Who are charming and well liked.

-Because abusers are not identifiable at a distance. They’re not always obvious. They’re not ugly, or constantly acting like douchebags.

-A lot of abuse falls under the rug because of the abuser’s status in reality. A man that beats his wife could have his family rally behind him because… well, they grew up with him. That’s not who he TRULY is. What did the wife do to provoke him? No no, this man also has an important job, he has a lot of connections and people willing to stick up for him. “I’ve talked to him before and he was just the nicest man! He would never do anything like that. Maybe he was just having a hard day. His job is so hard, you know!”

-A mom who stalks and beats her kids? Well, she’s so sweet in public! She tutors the neighbors kids, you can’t possibly expect us to believe she’s hurting her own! They must be problem children anyways if she has to keep her eye on them.

-That aunt who emotionally abuses her nespring? Well, she’s got such an important job higher up and she has connections (and eyes) everywhere! There’s no escape no way you could expect us to believe that such a helpful person could be so cruel!

-(And in cases of romantic relationships there is typically victim blaming in this line of thinking. “How did you not know they were abusive? Surely you noticed SOME of the signs? You’re not innocent here. You chose this. You can’t expect me to be sympathetic.” This doesn’t apply to Rainflower, but since I’m talking about fandom abuse, I think it’s worth a mention.)

-These people can’t be abusers. Because they’re human. They’re loved. And if that’s true… doesn’t that mean you and I are also capable of abuse? That people we know and trust in real life could be abusive? People we look up to? No, no. Of course not. Abusers aren’t human. And as long as we slot them as inhuman entities, as Other, that means we could never become like that. Ever. Anyways, I just got done rewatching all the silly pirate movies, he’s so funny and charming! How could that evil inhuman bitch EVER think he abused her? She is a demon who should rot in hell for making me feel bad about my best celebrity friend. She should’ve just put up and shut up.

-(Really hope it’s obvious, but I know what fandom I’m talking to, so I’m gonna slap an /S here for that whole paragraph)

-And I can’t help but see parallels of that when I look at fandom and you have people going “you’re an abuse apologist if you think this abusive character had a backstory or motive!” or “This comic is bad because it portrays an abuser as having a pleasant relationship with their sibling!”

-The reality is that no one is born evil. No one crawls out the womb ready to commit war crimes or whatever, no matter what Warrior Cats tries to tell you.

-A big thing that allows abuse to fester is power. Familial abuse is so common because the children are under the care of the adults around them that have every right over their autonomy. Becoming a parent is to have power over a small, vulnerable person… and so of course, that creates an environment where the adults are practically welcome to take advantage of that.

-Of course someone might not notice their friend is a child abuser. Their friend probably doesnt have intoxicating power over them, so they don’t see that behavior. And if that friend somehow does hold power over them… well, all the more reason not to rock the boat, right?

-Okay I’m rambling at this point so let’s bring it back to Rainflower. I’ve seen a couple people try to flat out woobify her, which is something I don’t particularly care for personally, but it’s led people to be kinda volatile to those who do try to add… More, to Rainflower. “Oh, you must do that because you don’t think her abuse is that bad!” Even when that’s not at all what people are saying.

-Rainflower isn’t real. The way she’s handled resonates with people, and that IS real, and should be respected. (Again- I’m not saying it’s bad to portray her as pure evil. I’m sure that’s liberating for some people who grew up with a parent like her! Different strokes for different folks)

-But that doesn’t mean we’re not talking about fiction at the end of the day, and no, we are not toning down abuse by daring to ask why Rainflower is the way she is.

-And that’s what I’m gonna ask.

What I’d Like to Do:

-So, Rainstar is leader now. That’s my answer to the awkward way the original renaming is handled.

-I like readings where she’s thoroughly punished, or that Hailstar was biased in her favor and had to be humbled for it later. But I felt particularly spiteful about the “Listen to your leader no matter what or you’re a heathen!” law they’ve only recently let up on (only to mock the change if I’m reading it right) and I was like. Actually let’s play around with that.

-The idea here is that Rainstar is someone who uses her power to abuse those around her. She doesn’t really need to be leader to abuse Stormkit, she has structural power over him as his mother and a warrior, but I wanted her to be leader because… jesus christ can you imagine having your abusive parent be your leader as well? The one who decides what route you take in the clan? Who has autonomy over you for battle patrols? Who can humiliate and punish you with no repercussions? Where your clanmates sticking up for you could be systematically punished for doing do?

-I still need to figure out the timeline here. If she dies at the same time as in canon, how long this goes on for, all the cats that are Team Crookedjaw or Team Rainstar, etc. I’d like him to still have good moments to breathe in between all this, like Brambleberry is still important and advocates for him a lot, his friendship with Willowbreeze and his brotherhood with Oakheart, the barn cats are still helpful to him after he returns. I do think she dies relatively early though. Crookedstar becomes a leader very young.

-Basically though, the idea is that Rainstar is a perfectionist that’s intoxicated on power. Growing up, she seemed to be a perfectly kind warrior. She and Shellheart were a great couple and she was excellent friends with Hailstep and Echomist, even if she could have a competitive streak.

-But… her grandfather was Appledusk. Who died at the serial killer Mapleshade’s claws before he met his kits. Who was also a codebreaker, and implied to have not been the best mate to Reedshine.

-Though the clan forgave him, there was a pressure on his lineage to not repeat his mistakes. After all, if he never had an affair with Mapleshade (broke our wonderful code!) this may not have happened.

-Applefrost and Duskwater made it as top standard warriors, with Duskwater having been deputy before she retired. There wasn’t a single blemish on their records.

-Rainflower felt this pressure throughout her life. She felt confined to clan life, doing whatever she was told. If she was told to jump, she asked how high. She was perfect. A model warrior for the apprentices to look up to. Always smiling and happy to join patrols, attend festivals, taste test meals, etc. She was just what she needed to be… with no room to breathe. No room to fail.

-And of course, because she’s just a cat, she did fail. Like taking too much food at mealtime. Or falling asleep during her vigil. And when she did, it was scandalous. She was berated by her former mentor and parents, cats whispered about how clumsy she was, how she probably couldn’t be leader after all.

-Rainflower would recover, as would her reputation. She climbed the ranks with a raised head and tail. Never faltering if she could help it. Gathering several loyal supporters.

-When she finally became leader though, it was like some of the pressure gave way. She still followed the code, still did her part, she was still exceedingly popular and was responsible for very smart negotiations with the other clans, even managing to work through a sturdy alliance with Heatherstar.

-But… she had more agency atop her clan. Sure, she still couldn’t fail, not ever. But if she had to, say, give a warrior humilating tasks for speaking to her in a tone she didnt like, she could. If her mate and deputy, Shellheart, did something she didn’t like, she could leverage her power over him, with the clan’s support even.

-It was only a matter of time before things got worse… When Oakkit and Stormkit were born. Duskwater died in the storm around the same time they took their first breath. Applefrost had died years prior. Rainstar took pride in her kittens, but the pressure was on once again- never fail. Don’t make us look bad. Don’t make me look bad. If you fail, then I have failed.

-And when Stormkit cracks his jaw that fateful day, he failed. She failed.

-She saw him as a humiliation. Something to be ashamed of. Perfect Rainstar’s son, disfigured.

-When Brambleberry informed her that he would be permanently disabled from now on, resentment began to brew. Even though Stormkit was still healing, she became colder and harsher to him. Propping up Oakkit as her golden child, her winnings. And putting down Stormkit as her failure, something to be ashamed of.

-She essentially dehumanizes Stormkit (and Oakkit to an extent). They are extensions of her. They are something to be idolized. They are something to throw around when you need to release stress. And that’s just what she does when she renames him Crookedkit and decides to keep him a kit forever.

-He doesn’t even get the privilege of being an elder. Elders gave something to their clan and are honored and supported since they’re frail now. Crookedkit didn’t do anything worthy, he acted like a child, and ruined himself, so he gets to stay a child. Forever.

-Crookedkit was unfortunately subject to a lot of public humiliation and pressure during this time. (I’m wondering if Shellheart still dumps Rainstar here. Their mateship is dead either way, but he also probably still tries to suck up to her to keep his deputyship. Kinda torn on whether he flipflops between supporting Crookedjaw or Rainstar because of it… Leaning towards him being just on Crooked’s side, but I also like him having to be a tiebreaker between Brambleberry and Rainstar)

-When Crookedkit is denied his apprentice ceremony for several moons, he runs away to the barn, where he gets properly trained. This is a wip, I wanna reread the book and see how they handle this in canon, but these cats stick around for the rest of his life. Bonefall even had one go back with him in Better Bones, so I think I may take a page out of his book and do that too. (Maybe with a different cat though lol) They remain a support system for him.

-Oakpaw also deals with similar pressure, as well as his mom worshipping him (and knowing he’ll be humiliated like his brother if he “fails”). As a form of escapism, once Crookedkit runs away, he repeats history and starts a secret friendship with Bluepaw, the troublemaker ThunderClan apprentice.

-There is that divide in the clan still. Several cats were indeed outraged at Crookedkit’s treatment… but what can they do? Rainstar will punish them if they help. And she has more supporters than not, for one reason or another, whether it’s her former mentor (undecided, he’s an elder I think) or her friend Hailstep. All of which vouch for her, claiming she has the right to handle her son and clanmate the way they want. And besides… he can’t even eat right, how will he be uuuuusefullllllllll

-Oh yeah there’s also the whole “this society is pretty ableist and is unaccommodating to disabled people” thing. Crookedkit struggles to eat! He deals with pain in his jaw all the time, he slurs his words and cant pronounce certain things. Like in canon, he finds support for this in the barn, not in the clan.

-After he comes back for some reason or another (WIP), he’s nearly full grown and imposing, and now that hes uuuuusefullllllllll (so now he’s ok) Rainstar does relent and let him be an apprentice. But his apprenticeship is long and grueling. She refuses to let him go to gatherings, she constantly attacks him over his training and hunting, she gets pissed if a border patrol sees him, she has him perform tasks that upset his jaw (like helping with construction).

-Crookedpaw is freed, however, when dogs are found in the territory. The two major losses? Shellheart and Rainstar. The deputy and leader.

-And a squirrel with a crooked jaw was found on the freshkill pile.

-(with a note that say “Shadey says hi!!! xoxo kys”)

-To say this caused outrage would be an understatement. Crookedpaw would be going from apprentice to leader! He’s underqualified! Forget not having an apprentice- he’s been one for years!

-But. StarClan’s will can’t be denied, Brambleberry says. (Unsure how much she Knows.)

-So Crookedpaw becomes Crookedstar. A false prophet leader.

-From there I think he’s like a proto Onestar? No civil war but he does deal with a ton of pressure and the psychological weight of having to lead the cats who enabled his mom to hurt him. Still figuring out how he was a leader… but he is kinder to his family. He vows to never leverage his power over Silverkit, ever.

Other Stuff I’d Like to Change But I Dunno How:

-God I hate the ableist names so tbh I’d like to nix that here. Make Crookedstar an honor title like in BB (I really like honor titles so I wanna try them out myself) But I don’t quiiite know how to make it work in this context.

-I think I’ve said this before but I want Mapleshade to have haunted Rainstar too. Maybe put some ideas in her head and made her insecurities worse. My only thing is that I dunno how much influence Mapleshade has at that point. I think Crookedstar was where she upped her game and got more power.

Okay if you read all of this, bless you, thank you <3 this took me a minute so I appreciate it. Also if anyone has any tips or criticism I’d welcome them! Especially on all the abuse talk, some of it came from my own feelings and experiences but I would hate if I funked up the wording or misunderstood something. We’re all capable of harm after all and I am not exempt from that. Also if any of the talk was upsetting, I’ll go reblog some kitten pics as a detox.

[berrymoos]

Hi! I don't know if you're still interested in agere moonknight, but i just want to share a separate bodies and regressor!marc being scared of the dark during thunderstorms and always regressed after trying to handle it on his own. But Steven and Jake are always there to comfort him 🥺 steven, hiding them under the blanket, and peeking up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers they have on. The ceiling and Jake singing Spanish songs throughout the night.

I really like your agere fics. My favorite is cg!Jake and regressor!Marc where marc runs to Jake for protection 🫶

fun fact i actually added a new addition to that fic collection yesterday so i am VERY much still into moon knight jshdjajdk (๑'ᴗ')ゞ also im so glad u like my fics, tysmmm WAAAA - my fave is the rg marc & cg layla one <33

i can't remember if ive ever said this anywhere but i hc that marc is afraid of storms too!! the dark + thunderstorms = a very, very distressed little boy trying to tough it out all on his own - spoilers, hes too scared to do that :(

OUGHHH WAIT okay literally the moment the first lightning bolt strikes jake & steven are dropping everything to focus on marc. doesn't matter what it is, bc nothing is more important than their baby brother. steven gathers every blanket, every pillow, every strewn stuffie laying around in the loft while jake locates where marc's gone — typically he hides in a dark corner or in someplace where he can close himself in — & cuddles him close until steven gets to them (T^T)♥︎

it's js one big cuddle pile fr!! marc is swaddled in a fleece blanket with his favorite paci & miffy, sitting in jake's lap but leaning against steven's shoulder, moon-shaped nightlight glowing dully in the corner while those glow-in-the-dark stars capture the baby's attention <33 OUHHG i luv them so so much they make my heart FULL

[milo-is-rambling]

Was high and sleepy but remembered I hadn’t taken my pill yet so I got out of bed and ate even tho I didn’t want to and then took my meds and also remembered that my sheets were in the drier and then put them on my bed everyone be proud of me