#OSIRIS IS A BITCH

[godsofhumanity]

[to the Guy Scouts' group chat] Odin: Saw an Olympian today. Osiris: Are you safe?!? Dagda: Wild or domesticated? Zeus: guys C'MON

[mythos-soup]

Back on my bullshit

@godsofhumanity

[ahamkara-apologist]

As killer as their brief interaction was in canon, I'm actually kind of sad that Eramis and Osiris didn't talk more. Both of them are proud, grumpy old farts that had stints at leadership that went awry because their own paranoia/desires to protect their people ended up getting themselves in trouble, and both have lost people near and dear to them as a direct result of their own actions. Plus both of them have more respect for the other side than they may let on, because they are much more concerned with what tf the Traveler has going on than something as petty as space racism. I just KNOW that the bitching sessions would be legendary and the tea extraordinary in a better world where Eramis wasn't exploited and isolated to the point of her giving up on herself and going home- even if it may have been the only reasonable way to save her

[ruthlesslistener]

3, 14, and 28 for O14 on the ship asks? 👀

FUCK YEAH BIRD GRANDPA HOURS

3. What was their first impression of each other?

-If I had to guess from the scene where they meet in Pigeon and the Phoenix, Saint's first impression of Osiris was that he was a lost bird who needed a friend, and Osiris's first impression of Saint was 'holy shit, beefy.' And honestly, I feel like I personally can't come up with anything better than that because it's so on point for them both kjdsfhg

4. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

-I feel like both of them are quite private people by nature, but that they're starting to warm up to PDA now that neither of them have to worry about keeping up appearances anymore

28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?

-Osiris has the better technical skill, but good fucking luck getting him in the kitchen lmfaooo. He's more than content to just dump milk into a cereal bag and go, if he even eats at all. He's got all these old Middle Eastern recipes from a variety of countries and cultures tucked away in the back of his head and has all the muscle memory needed to eyeball what's required, but he only ever cooks for other people, not for himself.

Saint, however, is a very enthusiastic cook even if he's not always the best at it, so he's usually the one who cooks in their day-to-day life. When Osiris cooks, it's typically because he's doing it for Saint, or because there's people over- like Ikora, Crow, or the Young Wolf- that he feels responsibility for. His love language is all about taking care of people, so that's one of the opportunities he has to show it, and since it comes about so infrequently, he tends to pounce on it when he can.

As for when Saint and Osiris both want to give each other a romantic dinner, however, then they usually argue over who gets to do it before settling either for cooking together or for one of them to teach/read out the recipe to one while the other does the actual cooking. Which, yes, has lead to many a distraction and a tripped fire alarm in the past

Ship ask game

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

Got this new Expedition ending dialogue about Rasputin and a) hooray my boy gets a mention but also b) Spider, I am reloading Sleeper (menacing)

but also also like c) Spider?? d) good luck selling that?? That’d be like trying to sell a box of rabid wolverines. The first person to open it is not gonna like what happens next.

[erismourn]

I don't have readmores on mobile so you're getting an uncensored #rhoanmoment but I keep thinking abt how rhoan hung out with Saint a lot while Osiris was sleeping because. Gay old bitches who have lost a partner 🤝 and just. AUUAUAUAU. sad old immortals make me emo

[bladeofthewest]

[honeybuckin]

" damn , shawty . . . i'm not even trynna do you like that , fo' real . " and he sincerely meant it . osiris was getting adjusted to his new found fame . somewhat assuming that his status would make it easier to lock down a girl he liked . " i know it might seem crazy , but 'm feelin' you . that's all . ain't mean to disrespect you or nothin' . " | @snowedpeach [ . . . ] continued from .

[arundolyn]

eltnum beating relius's ass at birthday wishes is kinda funny. Deserved. L puppetboy.

[shurisgf]

ECSTASY — A. ARETAS ✩ (1)

ೃ⁀➷ SUMMARY; in which , armando can’t keep his eyes off of his favorite dancer. So he takes matters into his own hands. | FEAT. Armando Aretas x BLACK!fem!reader | TROPE situationship ish? | FORMAT series | WARNINGS strip club, cursing, use of the n word | NOTES AYE WE IN THE STRIP CLUB YAWLLL 😜 thank you to the sweet soul who requested this!! literally had the time of my life writing this

🎧 for an enhanced experience , listen to the playlist selected below ;

` The Motto — Drake

` Truffle Butter —Nicki Minaj

` My n***a — YG

` What We Doin’ — City Girls

` Run Away — Chris Brown

` Pressurelicious — Megan Thee Stallion

` Throw Sum Mo — Rae Sremmurd

` FTCU — Latto

` Thooties — Dee Bills & Jenn Carter

` Ride — YK Osiris

` Cut ‘Em Off — Femme It Forward & Kiana Ledé

` No Frauds — Nicki Minaj

` Point Me 2 — FendiDa Rappa & Cardi B

` FTCU — Nicki Minaj

11:30 PM

“It’s packed tonight y’all. Make sure to keep it cute,” You announced, walking into the back room where everyone was getting ready. Your friends laughed at your statement as they continued their last minute touches, “Listen to her please. Last time it was packed Mercedes tripped and knocked over like 6 bottles of Casamigos.” Jade side eyed Mercedes from where she was standing. Earning a chuckle from you, who was now sitting at your station, finishing up last minute makeup, and making sure you had on the right heels. The loud music blaring through the club vibrated the walls, creating a muffled sound inside of the room.

Finally satisfied with how you looked, you walked over to the table with the other girls, while Jade came in with a round of shots, “It’s showtime bitches!” She smiled brightly as everyone took a shot from the tray. You threw your head back and drank the shot fast, feeling the alcohol hitting the back of your throat. Shaking off the feeling, you took one last glance in the mirror and began to walk out of the room with the rest of the girls.

The lights were a mix of purple and punk hues, music blaring through the speakers as you walked over to the stage and signaled to the dj that you were ready for your set.

“Aight now, we got one of our most fabulous girls ready to get on stage,” the dj announced whilst still controlling the music. “Show ‘em what you got Star!” He shouted, hyping you up as you entered the stage. You decided to dance to Run Away by Chris Brown, swaying your hips effortlessly as you walked towards the pole. That’s where you noticed the fine ass man you’d never seen in the club before. It looked like he was paying close attention to your movements as you mounted the pole gracefully, doing a couple turns, and making sure to keep your movements loose and fluid. Your neon pink bralet and matching thong glowed in the led lights, highlighting your body’s movements on the pole. You swirled down the pole in a hypnotizing motion and slapped your ass once you got to the bottom, looking out at the crowd. The man was still there, biting his lips as he eyed you up and down. You were used to men looking at you that way, but something about the way he stared made you feel like he was staring into your soul. Men were throwing 20’s and 50’s at you, so you made an effort to bend down and pick up the money in a seductive manner. A sweet lesbian couple also gave you a couple 100’s, which always made your day, because they were regulars. When you turned your attention back to the crowd, the man was gone. So you shrugged it off and continued to dance.

Finishing your set, you swayed your hips and walked off of stage so that the next dancer could do her set. Before you could make it to the back, your shift manager told you that a guy paid for a private 30-minute session with you, and to do what you do best, make him come back. You told her that you would head over there after counting the tips you made on stage and putting it away. To which she nodded, and told you to hurry and don’t keep him waiting.

You thought that it was just a random man, maybe a regular that bought private sessions with you before. Walking into the room, you could obviously tell that you were wrong. It was that fine ass man that was sitting in the crowd earlier. He sipped his drink as you walked into the room, closing the door behind you. He was manspreading on the couch, the tent in his pants telling you all you needed to know. You made him hard while you were on stage earlier, which is why he wanted a private session. Men were too easy to figure out. “Ven aquí, sexy.” He spoke up, wanting you to come over to him. So you did as he said, swaying your hips as you walked to him, knowing exactly what he wanted. When you reached him, you straddled him on the couch, beginning to give him a lap dance. Rocking your hips against his, he groaned out, clearly enjoying himself, throwing his head back in pleasure before speaking up. He gently held your hips, causing you to stop your motions. Looking up at you with those sexy ass eyes of his. “Let me see that pretty ass, mama.” He spoke in a calm, but weirdly menacing tone that made you feel flustered on the inside. You stood up and twerked in front of him, moving your ass in all the right ways, as you bent down and continued your motions. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful mama, why haven’t I come here sooner.” He scoffed, his comment making you laugh a bit. You turned around and bent down to his knees, looking up at him in his eyes. Rubbing on his thighs as you continued to move your body sensually. “I don’t know, but I’d love to see your face in the crowd more often.” You playfully flirted with him, as he smirked at your comment. “C’mere pretty girl,” he spoke in that same tone. Taking a hold of your hips and gently turning you around, pulling you back against him, where he wanted you to be. You can’t lie, it was hot as fuck. So you complied and passionately moved your ass against his lap once again, earning yet another satisfied groan from his lips. You were enjoying yourself, before your security knocked and opened the door, telling you that your 30 minutes were over. A part of you was disappointed, but you were on the clock and had no time to play games. So you got up and made sure to look back at him, whispering “Sorry handsome,” before leaving the room.

2:23 AM

By the end of the night, you and the other girls were in the back, counting money, when you saw a paper tucked into your thong band. Taking it out, you opened it to find a note from the man you had a private session with. It read; “Let me return the favor.” along with his name and number at the bottom. You smiled and chuckled to yourself before tucking the note away in your belongings, he must’ve slipped the note there when he grabbed your hips. “Y’all know that fine ass nigga that was sitting in section 5?” You questioned your friends who were still busy counting cash. “You talkin’ bout the one with the fresh haircut and that sexy ass goatee?” Mercedes questioned you. Everyone laughing at her comment. “Yeah, him.” You continued to count the rest of your money, “What about him?” Coco chimed in, wanting to know the tea. “His name is Armando.” You spoke out, your simple reply confusing everyone in the room. “And how the fuck do you know that?” Mercedes protested, confused as to how you managed to get the dude’s name. “The slick bitch got a private session with him, that’s how.” Jade aired out all your business, the room erupting in shock. You smiled to yourself, continuing to count your cash from the rest of the night. “What the fuck?,” Mercedes walked over to your station, eyeing you down, waiting for you to tell her what happened. But when she saw you still focused on counting your money, she spoke up again. “Well what the hell happened?”

“Just a lap dance, that’s all.” You lied straight through your teeth, not bothering to tell the girls that he was hard as a rock while you danced on him.

“You gave that fine mothafucka’ a lap dance?” Mercedes’s questioned, looking back at the other girls, making sure they heard the same damn thing she just heard.

“You lucky bitch”, “I been plotting on that nigga all night,” Coco added. Everyone turning to glare at her. “What?” She said in a shocked tone, placing her hand on her chest as if she felt offended.

“We all know you wanted that nigga, you a hoe,” Jade damn near spit out her drink as Mercedes rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to you after making her comment.

“She got a point though, last time you had a private session, the security said you was tryna’ do more than dance.” You spoke up, counting the last of your cash and putting it away.

“Girl fuck the security guard, he won’t talkin’ bout nothing.” Coco expressed, rolling her eyes at the both of you.

“Aight, I’m finna go, I don’t got time to play with y’all.” You spoke, grabbing your jacket and bag, getting ready to leave for the night. Before you walked out the door, Mercedes added, “Let us know if he come back.”

“I will.” You laughed, walking out the door saying bye to everyone.

As you walked out, you could still hear Mercedes’s loud voice, “Can’t believe she got to give that nigga a lap dance.” Laughing to yourself as you walked out of the front door.

What a fucking night.

GLOSSARY !

Ven aquí — Come here.

©2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — SHURI'S GF. Do not modify, repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any work posted on this blog without my permission !

TAGLIST; @ghettogirly @milliumizoomi @loakswifesworld @dyttomori

part 2

reblogs are greatly appreciated !

[wisyhana]

Destructionshipping Monster Tamer AU

So here are some of the drawings from this AU and a little summary of what is about and how is the story going (it's still a work in process so I'd probably change a few details in the future):

It's basically about Yugi (half elf), Jonou (human), Seto (elf) and Atem (human) as beast tamers all set in a fantasy world. Each of them protects their own region, they're in charge to prevent any monster from disturbing the life of people. They're not hunters, they work to take those beasts and return them back to their lands. Sometimes they keep some beasts as pets (Jonou), partners (Yugi and Atem), even trophies (Seto) 

All starts when Seto shares some information about the movement of a peculiar dragon, one of its kind that had entered Yugi's territory. No beast tamer want to deal with that dragon since it's known for its destructive power. All the tales talk about Gandora being a powerful type of dragon that even managed to bring itself to extintion, a single of its kind is enough to be considered a problem. So having the last Gandora wandering around is enought to concern a whole region.  Seto only cares about its region and doesn't want to get involve, especially when is about a dragon that can instantly kill/destroy everything, so he only 'wishes luck' to Yugi and see if he can survive Gandora's visit. Jonou feels uncapable of helping but encourage Yugi to find a way to lead Gandora out. Of course Yugi is very curious about this dragon and wants to find out more of em.   

Yugi here moves more around his own curiosity more than other thing, as the games in Duel Monster, he can't reject a new game as he can't reject a lone dragon. He investigates and travels to where Gandora is staying: a really dark and dried base of a volcano. It takes a lot for Yugi to find Gandora, he has to go through caves and burnt forests to find the lair of the dragon, who apparently is very awared of Yugi's presence. Gandora tries to kill Yugi MANY times, but Yugi always manage to escape and come back later to study em and find a way to win his trust. Yugi speaks to Gandora noticing that the dragon is capable of understand more than other dragons he knew.

Since Yugi's way too into studying Gandora's behavior he kinda let his region a little aside, so things don't go so well since he's so invested in 'his quest' as Yugi constantly talks about the dragon. Also Gandora doesn't just chill and relax, he slowly destroys the forest that goes around the volcano he's living in, causing monsters to leave and invade human territory. This concerns Jonou (and Seto as well but he's a bitch) and they try to persuade Yugi to shoo Gandora away in some way and protect his land as he should. But big hearted Yugi wants to know what makes Gandora so angry. Eventually Jonou sends a message to Atem and consults him for support.  Atem is a peacemaker and he belongs to no land, he's a traveller that helps people and monsters to keep at peace. He visit the guys in time to time but not really often.

Yugi tries to confront Gandora in some way, almost dying in the process, but he can't calm down Gandora. The boy finds himself failing to his quest, which makes him burst into tears apologizing to Gandora for not being able to help him. In all this time Gandora just acts as a furious beast, but somehow understands when Yugi apologize to him. 

There's no much time to talk when Yugi notices that Atem shows up, he sees Yugi badly wounded and decides is time to take action. Of course Yugi doesn't want him to interfer, but Atem is more concern about him than peace between them. Also Atem kinda scolds Yugi for prioritizing a giant dragon than his own people. So Atem calls for Osiris that's enough to intimidate every beast, but Gandora is stupid and even tries to fight them back. Yugi begs Gandora to leave and this one finally listens to him and flee. Yugi isnt necessarily angry at Atem but his words sure hurt him and there was no more Gandora.... for the moment.

So that's all for now, I'm looking forward to turn Atem into an anti-villain type of character, I like a lot the idea of Yugi and Atem finding themselves disagreeing for the first time and seeing them defending their own ideals. 

Of course all resolves around Gandora finally trusting in Yugi, but it'll take me a few more drawings to explain it! 

[deadbydad]

My Favorite Destiny Character Quotes

"What does it mean to be a Hunter? I say, it's all about where you belong. The Warlocks have their libraries, the Titans have their walls...But Hunters belong in the wilds." - Cayde-6

"I refuse to burry anymore friends" - Commander Zavala

"We fought to keep our beautiful creation safe. And now, this beast has come. Claiming to be king. Mara Sov bows to no one." - Mara Sov

"A line has been drawn in this system. Light on one side. Dark on the other. Where do you stand?" - Osiris

"My name is Saint-14. They call me the greatest Titan who ever lived. But I would be dead if not for you. Since the day I met you, I swore I would make it my duty to follow your example. I'm still trying." - Saint-14

"Zavala looks at me, and I feel like he really sees me. Who I am, not who I was." - Crow

"Devotion inspires bravery, bravery inspires sacrifice, sacrifice leads to death. So... feel free to kill yourself." - The Speaker

"Do you hear me? Every Titan. Every Warlock. Every Hunter. We will take the Reef by storm! And then we will mount the head of that son of a bitch on his precious throne. For our Fireteam....For Cayde." - Ikora Rey

"I just want you to know... I'm here with you. Through Light or Dark... we're partners. Always." - Ghost

"It's a day for pretty speeches and medals. But we know the real fight takes place out there. There's so much more, Guardian. I've seen terrible things born out in the Darkness. Every moment brings them closer. All ends and beginnings... Our fight is far from over." - Elisabeth Bray

[ahamkara-apologist]

Okay I'm still in my lab so I'm continuing to talk about trailer content. But. The fact that Osiris is in the Season of the Wish trailer has me mildly concerned

Baba-joon if you get your ass in danger again this season I'm calling the cops (Ikora, Saint, Nimbus)

[ruthlesslistener]

EXTREMELY funny to me to see players complaining about Osiris being incredibly pushy/on your ass in Lightfall because they thought he was too mean, whereas on my end I was getting the warm n fuzzies and mentally applauding the writers for their aptitude because they managed to perfectly capture that authentic Middle Eastern Dad Experience(tm)

[i-hug-exploder-shanks]

Destiny 2 Incorrect Quotes- 37

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing* Saint-14: Would never stab anyone. Osiris: Would stab someone in retaliation. Young Wolf: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Shaxx: Would stab without warning. Felwinter: Would stab as a warning.

[stoshasaurus]

Osiris is fucking ROTTING my brain

fuck you, you crusty dusty old man with no bitches no game no friends no family nothing to look forward to but your handsome ass fuckass bimbo boyfriend (I love them both to bits)