#OKAY I JUST HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST

[desultory-novice]

Here's a really disturbing thought for everyone!

I've seen it speculated around the JP fandom that the True Arena Magolor Soul fight exists to be a sort of semi-canonical "bad end" AU for Magolor. That it shows us what would happen if the crown's possession had gone too far. If Magolor had been fully devoured by it. If he were truly beyond rescue by any means.

Oh, and what makes it worse?

This is the one fight where Magolor specifically asks Kirby to break the crown on his head and free him. He audibly cries out Kirby’s name during the fight, including murmuring a noise that sounds very much like “...tasukete...” in JP aka “...help...me...” And yet?

You Don't Succeed. 

The crown remains bonded to this Magolor even when he's defeated.

True Arena Magolor asks only to be freed and Kirby fails to free him.

The one version of Magolor you canonically cannot save is the only version who breaks down and pleads for your help over the course of the fight... Even the first pause screen asks you to free him from this nightmare. To save him and become true friends...

But you’re unable to...

Also, I hadn't realized this until Cauli-flawa pointed it out, but the crown’s gem blinks red and blue. Of course, the temptation to compare those colors to a certain jester is there - and I'll do that later, fufufu - but another, perhaps simpler interpretation is that the blue flashes are moments when our Magolor is fighting back from within the cage the crown made of his body. He's trying, struggling, doing everything possible... he even manages to play the role of "Helper Magolor" one last time by giving you that apple... 

But the moment his eyes shut... It’s too late.  He's forever out of your reach...

True Arena Magolor Soul is depicting Magolor's death...

Welp, time to cry myself to sleep...

[tsbs-shipfessions]

(fym i woke up after like 2 hours of sleep to learn that there are people making.. purposefully hateful confession blogs?? because they dont like how my friends and i our running ours??? wut

g. guys, everyone realizes that my friends and i are being /haha silly goofy about this, right? like, we genuinely encourage and support confessions, but everyone realizes we're going so hard on rules and making each blog a safe space to avoid making our blogs hateful?? r. right??? and that we're literally doubling as roleplay blogs bc of how hard we're goofin and gaffin???? right?????

and btw one last thing bc i have Anxiety- this is not encouragement to like.. go off and harass the more 'negative' confession blog(s). just block them and move on, or don't. literally do whatever makes you happy. let's embrace the francis way homies ...not like to the extent he does, but you get what i mean digsigqwi)

[miradelletarot]

Sad brain hours are stupid

Personal post alert. Just me kinda mumbling my random sad brain thoughts into the void, and hope something make sense (or at least helps me get this shit out of my head idk).

*note: this is all over the fucking place so...sorry.* My confidence is pretty low lately. I mean, it always has been honestly. I was raised to have a low self-esteem (just like my mother, who also had self-esteem issues, and projected a lot of her shit onto me). So, I have never ever really been confident. In my marriage, I can't recall a time when my husband truly made me feel sexy/desirable (unless he wanted something from me...you know what I'm talking about). Even mentally and emotionally, I'm really not that smart. I'm not witty, or quick, or brilliant in any way, and my anxiety and depression and ADHD make shit hard enough to cope with as it is. I struggled in school. Mostly an A & B student, but I had to bust my ass for those grades. Not to mention my horrible memory...I'm lucky I know basic grade school shit. I have no illusions that there is anything remotely spectacular about me. I think that's why I love supporting and helping others. Especially with tarot. It's my way of trying to help lift people up, and make them feel good about themselves, and their prospects because *someone* needs to be in your corner (general "you"). It's just easier to give my love to others, because I'd rather use my energy to celebrate the people I care about. Lately, I am really just feeling so down about my body. More than I have in a while. I think I've ignored it for so long because I was married. He stopped putting in effort and so did I. I had no one to impress anymore. But, despite him completely letting himself go (he's well over 400lbs now, and does NOT take care of himself in the slightest,) he said he was no longer attracted to me. (this will make sense in a moment...promise).

in 2018, I had a weird ass health scare that landed me in the hospital for a week, and the nurse said I nearly died of sepsis. Her words were (and I'll never fucking forget it...) "if you had waited even until tonight to come to the ER, there's a good chance you wouldn't have made it." Drs still dunno what the fuck happened to me. Ever since that happened, my thyroid went stupid (thanks again, MOTHER...) and I gained a ton of weight. I have always been on the heavier side (180lbs when I got married 16 yrs ago. I'm 5 ft tall for context). Now, I'm 243 lbs. I was 265, but I lost a lot of that stress weight after I left my husband. So, that's certainly something.

But...I just don't see the improvement. i don't feel any better. I have such a horrible relationship with exercise, and i am working so fucking much I don't even want to even though I know I should. I hate wearing makeup b/c of how it makes my face feel, and in the Florida, soul-sucking heat? I could never. But, I still have breakouts like a fucking teenager going through puberty. and my hair? fuck. i hate it. it's a poofy, frizzy mop. ALSO...fucking hell. I have had a slight lisp since i was a kid. I worked really hard to correct it b/c i was in choir and shit and my music teacher helped me with it, but recently i find that it's a lot more prominent than it used to be, and it sticks out to me SO fucking much, and i feel so insecure about it lately.

It's time's like these when something my ex said to me before i left really sticks in my head (he apologized for saying this btw, but it doesn't make the pain go away). He said "you'll never find anyone as good as me." I really want to believe he's wrong, but sometimes? It feels like he's right. Like I'll never be pretty or thin enough to be desirable to anyone. Too much depression and anxiety. Too weird. Too vulgar. Just...Too much, and oddly not enough at the same time. Even though it's only been 6 months since I left him I am fucking lonely. I won't lie, I miss having a partner (and all that entails). I'm so afraid I'll be alone forever. If I lower my standards, I'll just get some shitty asshole again. Someone just like my ex. I'm too fucking old to date around like I'm in my 20s. I'm pushing 40. I'm either going to find the man of my dreams (the Gale of my heart, a real one lol) or I'll be forever alone.

I'm in hell...and it looks like a pixelated paradise.

[squeiky]

METAL SONIC X CHAOS ZERO!!!

IN ALL THE CHARTS I COULD FIND!!

Some of the charts got repetitive, so i cropped it.

NOTES: there may be someee minor inconsitences as sometimes id change mind my across one chart to another.

If you want an expliantion for ANY of my choices here, please ask! I am starving for conversation about this relationship- so please please please ask my questions- or just tell me your own ideas! Idk! Communicate! Your words and thoughts are not dumb!! They are very important to me and must be shared!!!

Also, some more of my thoughts + notes after the cut:

-----------

I think my favorite charts are the first two, since the first one was pretty thourghough and easy to get whilst also including intresting and unique questions to the relatio ship dynamic. the second one i added a bit of character interaction so its really cute, and thats practically why i like.

---

I particularly like the touch chart, as i really had to consider wthe physicality of these two, and the custom model was fun to make (look they're even holding hands haha). It was a bit tricky considering i had to figure out what touches where welcomed and what weren't based on previous canonical interactions, and my own theories/speculations.

---

Oh, to explian the "lends clothes" and "borrows/steals clothes", i always found the neat detail of Neo Metal Sonic's wardrobe possesing a kind of.. arm warmer/bell sleeve? As well as its pants(?) Being a bell bottom.

Without the belt/butt cape, it does make metal sonics limbs somehwhat resemble the sillouette of Chaos' body, so obviously- i just figured that Chaos, if he were to wear any clothing, would probably be stolen by Metal Sonic since it already seems to be fond of that particular look that Chaos naturally has.

--

Oh, and Metal and Chaos being somewhat organized is due to thier jobs and enviornment they grew up in. Eggman, being the opposite of Sonics carefree, chaotic attitude, would likely prefer more cleaner, organized or "controlled" enviornments. Thus, i feel that Metal Sonic may have picked up a few tidying or cleaning habits that were a cause of eggman simply teaching or implimenting features in his bots to prefer the "clean up" of "dirty" or "messy" areas.

For chaos, i do recall reading something (perhaps on the chao wiki) of him purifying the Altars water and keeping it relatively clean from debries and such. Furthermore, having to be sole guardian of little children chao, the altar and the master emerald, requires a lot of responsibility and- if anyone has worked with children before- it can get very messy very quickly. So its mere speculation, but i do think Chaos would have picked up many cleaning habits as well, as well as cooking/harvesting skills due to him having to take care of large batches of critters.

Surprisingly, for a creature named "Chaos", the name only truely applies to the singular instance in which he is "Final Chaos" (as thats likely what the echidnas called him during and after that time.) Turns out, Chaos is way more controlled and responsible than chaotic and carefree.

So to segway, out of the two, Metal Sonic would be way more chaotic considering its nack for stirring up trouble (CD, Sonic Heroes, Chaotix.. ect) for the heroes, as well as it not really having major responsibilites outside of its purpose to "destroy sonic" and occasionally obey whatever task eggman requires of it.

Thus, is why in the driving promps, i title it "a speeder".

---

To explain the "Cognito Egro Sum" (aka. I think therefore i am) and the "infinty symbol" for the ages, er.. Metal sonic is a robot, and Chaos is an immortal being. If your being technical with it, you can say they're both relatively young, considering Chaos chao can't age and are often stuck in the form they were hatched in- despite the fact that chao do infact change as they age-

One can consider the idea that Chaos, for all intensive purposes, looks and probably is pretty young- if we apply chao logic to him.

Though one will argue "but Chaos is ancient" which is true, but his case is similar to Shadow's as he was trapped in that Master emerald for... millions of years............. so, similarly to how shadow was stuck for 50 years yet remains a teenager both inside and out, Chaos- for whatever age he was before he got trapped, probably still thinks and acts like that, as well as Tikal. Except now they probably need a LOT of therapy.

^hence why i put chaos's sleeping habits as "sleeps poorly" and "sleeps to little". In hindsight, being trapped in a emerald for thousands of years, with your freind of who's father killed your entire* family and burned your house (altar) down and tried to steal your most precious item (master emerald) and being the girl whos stuck with your freind(?) who killed your entire bloodline and basically genocided your entire community- stuck with him for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- is.....is going to require a lot of therapy.

So y'know, bad sleeping problems. Also probably why i depict Chaos hugging a lot + being affectionate, since being deprived your community that is entirely reliant on the concept of "caring, loving, and nurturing one another" (cause.. the opposite of that means chao will basically die upon reincarnation), for thousands of years is... a good recipe for touch starvation and a need for attention.

^hence why chaos is also on the attention side of some charts.

----

^ just conintuing off of that previous statement, i did move Chaos closer towards "extrovert" in the "extrovert or introvert" prompts, as since Chaos, unlike Metal Sonic, deals closely with many chao, and often is surrounded by a crowd of them, i do believe that Chaos would have to atleast gain some energy from social interaction in order to surivive that every day, without burning out.

----

The whole "who talks more" thing is kind of funny because, technically, its metal sonic (see Sonic Heroes + Sonic Free riders) who has more lines than.. Chaos's total of zero!

Meaning that, if anything, the "he said no pickles" meme would probably mean that Metal Sonic would be at the counter whilst Chaos is sitting in the back.

Though, compared to MANY other characters, these two are practically dead-silent, and would most likely rely on non-verbal ways of affection than verbal.

---

Oh and the "ethical v. Immoral thing" where i emphasized that chaos was "neutral" was because by compsring him to "chaos chao", theres a dark side, good guy side, and then neutral. Considering Chaos's history of amazingly goodwilled to horrendously incidous, one can conclude that he practically in the middle in terms of ethics or morality.

Metal sonic is definetly on the more immoral side, though i wouldnt put it all the way, as i do have considering enviornmental aspects to its behavior (such as well.. being a badnik, and being constantly exposed to eggman's immoral behaviors). So, other than like, unnesecarily abusing animal freinds in CD, and throwing a ship probably full of people at sonic (Sonic heroes) there aren't many instances in which Metal Sonic does something completely immoral and unjust- without any context regarding eggman ordering it too, or simply it just doing its job as a badnik.

However those actions are prettt bad on its own- though compared to... killing out an entire species... drowning thousands of people in a city and attempting to kill eggman with a giant laserbeam... and to whatever hyjinks eggman gets up too...

Its actions seem.. relatively small (though not obsolete.)

So like, theres not going to be many issues regarding "metal sonics gotta be a good guy"/ "i can fix him🥺" mentalities, since its kind of hard to do that, when you have a kill count of a 100+ whilst Metal Sonic is still on the "i'm needlessly harming animals, and threw a boat"...

Then again, i like to think the leiniency allows for them to work on themselves together, rather than tear eachother down or hate eachothers guts.

---

Transgender - both for my headcannnon, but also a refrence to it literally going "i transformed myself with my own hands" and well, i cant resist a pun/play on words now can i?

Agender- chaos dont have.. genders.

However, i thought this would change when introduced to concept of feminine and masculine models of the ancients in frontiers, but looking at Chaos, he doesnt resemble either one very much (tbh, in Sonic Forces, his model actually looks more akin to the fem version, than the pointy and sharp masc ones) and looks more akin to that of the children, if anything.

Plus, being masculine or feminine isnt really and indicator of gender anyways.. so like..???

So what? Does Chaos, gender? NOPE! Chaos isn't an ancient (thats his ancestor) and is a mutated chao. Chaos are genderless, or atleast out of that particular binary.

If Tikal showed up one day and started calling Chaos a "he/him", its likely that Chaos could've just.. adopted that. Assigned pronouns by random. Amazing.

So agender, as i can't think of anything else.

---

Sexuality -idk. Look, i dont consider whomth one likes. The knowledge of my characters, or other characters sexualites comes upon me in the way preists suddenly hear the words of their gods.

I dunno, until suddenly i know. Thats just how it is.

---

Ending it here cause im hungrt and cant think of anything else to chat on.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Hey, do you remember this irritating little turd?

Yeah, that one. From Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. Remember how it was frequently annoying how he was constantly antagonistic towards his friends, made his own best friend be constantly annoyed by him, and was just sometimes the worst character in the show? Turns out that there's a reason for that.

Apparently, Craig McCracken WANTED Bloo to experience this neat little writing trick called "Character Development." But Cartoon Network, wanting more of an episodic sitcom, gave a big fat no to that idea. Because they wanted this series to have no continuity, they had to make sure that the characters couldn't develop. And that is...nonsense for a number of reasons.

#1

These shows came out the same time as Foster's:

The continuity wasn't MAJOR with these shows, you can still watch any episode at random from either of them and still have a good time. BUT they still had this sense of subtle progression where characters, villains, and little touches in the story. Granted, they're both more along the lines of action adventure stories instead of sitcoms, but KND is a lot more or less the same as Foster's in terms of characters going on goofy adventures and being a comedy for kids. It just so happened that the comedy could be taken a little seriously at times. Besides...

#2

Sitcoms CAN have character development and continuity. You can watch any episode of either of these shows too, BUT there's a noticeable sense of character progression and continuity from all of them. Sometimes it's something simple as a character dating someone else at a certain point or a change in location or even when a character is working a certain job or not. Character development and continuity can still exist and work in making an episode enjoyable without previous context, but seeing these characters grow, even in subtle ways, is great. Mainly because...

#3

Character development is NOT a bad thing. Far from it, in fact. If anything, it makes watching a show more interesting as you can look back at how a character USED to act with a fond nostalgia of "Man, remember when they used to act like THAT?" And then look at how they CURRENTLY act with the sense of, "Wow, this character's really grown up in the last few seasons." And while it feels SLOW in some cases, it gives the sense that the character can learn, grow, and BE BETTER despite how they might have started off. Even Foster's understood this, because...

#4

The Show HAS character development AND continuity. Like how Cheese just didn't exist in the show until a certain point and became a main stay for the entire series. Or how Goo was introduced as another main stay character. Not only that, but after her introduction as this overly imaginative little girl, she learned her lesson to cool down her over imagination so she wouldn't cause the exact same problems in the future but still faced a NEW problem with her imagination that she and the others could learn from. Like it or not, that IS character development AND continuity. It's just that other characters can experience it instead of Bloo. But fine. They wanted to make Bloo a stagnant character who never changes? Sure. I can accept that...Except for one last thing.

#5

DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE HIM SO IRREDEEMABLE?! In fairness, the bus episode IS entertaining, but that still shows how Bloo, as a character, went through regression instead of development. He's not the same as he started in the first season. Heck, he's not the same as he was in the FIRST THREE EPISODES. There, he was written as brash and a bit immature, but still apologetic and polite in certain spaces. He was even about to object to Wilt giving him the bed, but Wilt was too polite to let Bloo refuse his offer. If this was the Bloo in future seasons, he would have guilt tripped Wilt into giving him the bed and would have been the first to suggest Wilt would sleep on the floor.

If the show wasn't allowed to make Bloo develop, I can understand that. Networks and studios can kiss all the asses. But when it got to the point where I couldn't understand why Mac was friends with Bloo anymore, it leaves me wondering why they had to highlight his worst qualities instead of his best ones? To quote MY favorite character in this show, "I'm sorry, but that is NOT okay." The writers have my sympathy, it's not easy trying to appease your network overlords while still making the show good. But if Bloo's an example of anything, it's that studios should trust showrunners more and that character development is NEVER a sin.

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS

Please, don't reply to fics and give "suggestions" or "tips" to the author.

This isn't even constructive criticism.

This comment freaken hurts.

I slaved over this fic. I spent hours writing it and even more hours editing it, agonizing over word choice and scenes I'd never written before. The length alone says that.

THIS FIC WAS A LABOR OF LOVE.

NO, YOU MAY FREAKEN NOT.

Clearly, they liked it enough to leave five words saying so, but the rest of the comment is taken up by a "TIP" TO WRITE SOMETHING ELSE???

They sat there and read all 14k+ words (I would hope), and that's what they chose to comment about???

WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER.

It's not like I have anything better to do than slam out massive fics at people's whims.

Brb, while I go sob in a corner and entertain the idea of never opening another Google doc again.

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

[mad-hunts]

did i ever tell you all how barton's kids fully found out that he fears being left alone / abandoned? because i feel like they definitely had suspicions that that was something he really didn't want to happen before for a while, but barton never expressed it in a very overt way, if that makes any sense. that is, until he had somewhat of a delirium-based breakdown when he was REALLY sick with pancreatitis. which i estimate was around whenever matilda and louis were around fifteen years old.

because there is a chance that whenever you have a fever around the 103-106 mark that you will experience hallucinations and delirium + some people just seem to be more suspectible to it than others in general. and in the worst of the fever, barton had this super vivid dream about his kids leaving him, and he just woke up SOBBING from it. i mean, he was ugly crying because of it and begged them not to leave him. which is actually really kind of sad whenever i think about it. i honestly was thinking about writing a drabble about it because he didn't only just beg them for that — he said some things that, although it might not seem like barton would ever say them, sounded genuine.

and one of these things was apologizing to them, which... matilda + jack in particular, remember, and it's possible that it kept them up for a few nights. and i don't mean in a disturbed way or anything. i mean, in a ' wow, i can't remember the last time i saw dad be that vulnerable with us before. and if he did mean that he was sorry, then what does that mean whenever he may (or may not) eventually repeat doing what he apologized for? '

so it's honestly something that they still think about sometimes, and barton DOES remember saying them but kind of with a 'haziness' undertone to the memory, if that makes any sense. so yeah... barton's relationship with his children has a LOT of layers to it, and overall, it is very unstable. but he does ultimately seem to be attached to them in his own ' barton-like ' way, which is the best way i could put it because the man's mind is kind of like a labyrinth.

it's hard to navigate his feelings even for barton himself, but he is capable of being at least a semi-decent dad sometimes... but other times? yeah, he can be really cruel and uncaring. and i may sound like a broken record here, BUT the bad overshadows the good, and so he is not someone to look up to in regards to how a guardian should treat their children. however, i just think it's interesting how barton has just completely turned his dynamic with them on it's head before like this.

[zorosdimples]

laios is a siscon btw

[philosophiums]

there's a conversation happening on tiktok right now about why there has been such a sharp rise in people wanting to watch female-led anime instead of being so focused on shonen and the girl who posted the video listed her reasoning as shonen constantly fucking up "power creep" (her words but i'm pretty sure she meant power scaling).

anyway i'm going to subject you all to my thoughts on this because i refuse to post anything on tiktok. (i'm also putting this under a read more because it got longer than i thought it would SKJDBVKJDBVJ).

now, i don't think complaints of power scaling in shonen is a bad thing, but i also don't think it's actually the problem with shonen (nor do i think it's the reason that there's an increase in interest for female leads bc i think that's literally just people wanting to see more female main characters which is not new or surprising or weird, but that's not the point of this rn).

i think the problem with shonen (most of the time) is the lack of actual story content - like fucking... plots and themes and motifs.

her two examples were mha and jjk because to her they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum in regards to power scaling (in mha the villains are so weak that children can defeat them, and in jjk the villains are so strong that no one can defeat them), so i'm also going to work off of these two examples.

mha's problem is not that the children are the only ones who can fight the big bads, it's that we don't get to see proof that the kids are actually stronger than the adults. sure there's evidence of adults fighting the villains and losing vs the kids fighting the villains and winning, but there's no setup for like a mentor/mentee moment of the mentee finally besting their mentor and us the audience getting to see that they're finally stronger. in fact it's... typically the opposite.

mha shows us multiple times that even the strongest characters in the main cast of kids are not stronger than, say, kids who are two years older than them or their teachers, let alone the best and strongest professional heroes in the verse. and that's not a power scaling issue, that's a storytelling issue. because you can set up stories where kids are stronger than the adults in their verse, and you can write it in a way that makes sense, but mha does not do that.

and of course mha has multiple other storytelling problems, not the least of them being the fact that it set itself up to be one of those "if you believe in yourself and try hard enough you can do anything" stories only to immediately undermine itself by giving the mc the most powerful ability in the verse free of charge, making the entire opening sequence have zero emotional payoff (a problem that continues on and on forever in the anime/manga).

jjk, on the other hand, set itself up to be a story about cycles, about the past repeating itself, about the inevitability of curses and hardship and never learning from past mistakes, but all of that was completely abandoned somewhere in the middle of the shibuya arc and was never touched on again.

all of the main characters in jjk have direct mirrors within the main cast - yuji & geto, fushiguro & gojo, nobara & shoko, maki & toji, nanami & mei mei, the list goes on - and it had the perfect opportunity to either be a story about the inevitability of trauma cycles OR a story about breaking those cycles, but instead half the cast is now dead and it's become a manga that's just about cool-looking fights.

the problem with jjk is not that the villains are too strong/unbeatable (i actually think there could have been merit to making jjk a story where the villains win, but that would have required focusing on the theme of cycles which, again, has unfortunately been lost) - it's just that there's no fucking plot anymore. there's no meat. there's no point. even if the goal of jjk from the beginning was to subvert a lot of typical shonen tropes, it's so so hard to care about that anymore because there's no reason. the plot is gone, the themes have vanished, the emotion is no longer in the room with us, and it has absolutely nothing to do with (im)balances of power within the verse.

but of course this is not a new problem in shonen. it's so incredibly rare for shonen to have a good story that maintains from start to finish in a satisfying arc, and that's almost a staple of the genre now - training arcs and a war arcs and lots of fighting and very little actual substance. the ones that do have it are gold mines. but again, this is not a new problem and it's not a new conversation, and i don't think it's the heart of why that girl posted that video or why all those people agree with her.

i truly think the actual reason this conversation is happening is because there's a new set of people who have recently turned twenty-something and are realizing that they don't identify with shonen protagonists anymore because they're no longer teenagers. and i think those people are upset that the characters/stories aren't aging with them and are finally looking at all the shows they like and are realizing that they're constructed around a trope of, essentially, child soldiers fighting battles that the adults in their verses cannot. and these people are realizing that they maybe don't like that anymore.

because when you're a teenager, shonen is escapism or a power fantasy or both. it's more relatable because it's made for that age group. but when you're an adult you start going "hey... where are these kids' parents?" because you realize that it's unfair and unreasonable in real life to put so much pressure on literal children. (i always think of that post that went around tumblr a few years ago that was a gif of this character in a tv show saying something like "i'm 13. i'm practically an adult." - bc when you're a 10 year old watching that, you go Yeah That's Right She's So Old, but when you're 30 watching that, you're just internally groaning because you have been a full legal adult for this child's entire life and they're barely older than a baby to you).

but of course shonen (and YA lit and superhero cartoons/comics and the list goes on) is not meant to be "realistic."

but just because it's not crafted as realism doesn't mean it shouldn't have story elements or themes that can reflect reality and/or be applied to real life. it also doesn't mean it can't have a fucking plot SKJDBVJKDVB

[nyxypoo]

:((

[it--feels--like--hope]

as much as i love Win being there for Team and being one safe space for him, HAS NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF SENDING THE BOY TO ACTUAL FUCKING THERAPY??? your grown up son asks if he can sleep in the same bed and you don’t find that just a bit odd??? that poor boy hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in god knows how long, until Win brought him to his own bed, and no one saw he was seriously sleep deprived? come to think of it, is the constant hunger also the symptom? i know i am like an endless pit after not enough sleep. and Team has been LIVING LIKE THAT FOR YEARS. 

[bluehairmisfit]

Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.

[ambrossart]

Okay, I need to vent for a second:

My in-laws are staying with us right now, for three weeks. I was not told about this until the plans were already made.

Right now I’m feeling very betrayed and disrespected by my husband, especially considering I’m the one most affected by this situation.

We live in a very small two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment. I work from home, my office doubles as the guest bedroom, so now I just feel… displaced. It’s like I can’t relax in my own home. There’s mess everywhere. Everything is out of its proper place. And I have nowhere to retreat to when I need to decompress and recharge. I’m honestly miserable.

So now I’m sitting outside on the porch, feeling like I’m about to burst into tears at any second.

And it’s only day two.

[luckycharming]

Blue Into You

She wanted to press kisses all over him, feel his skin beneath her lips, but he was sleeping so peacefully, she couldn’t find it in herself to disturb him. Sleep was probably one of the rare moments when Sonic actually stayed still. He was always on the go, dashing away to save the world and coming back in time to eat a well-deserved chili dog or thirty. And even when he wasn’t off doing acts of heroism, he still seldom stayed still. Some part of him was always moving almost involuntarily, be it his fingers twitching like they itched to curl into a fist and smash Eggman’s latest creations or his feet thumping impatiently on the ground, eager to carry him at groundbreaking speeds that were only made available to him.

So Amy wasn’t too keen on waking him up. Let him get some much-needed shut eye. Besides, he looked so cute while he slept, his head nestled in her lap, cheek smushed against her covered thigh, one gloved hand curled protectively around her leg while his other hand was held by hers. She had tried to move, to make him more comfortable, but he wouldn’t budge, merely holding onto her tightly, and who was she to deny him this?

It amazed her how he used to spend so much time running away from her, and now he spent twice as much time running towards her, always scooping her up in his arms to twirl her around like rose petals or pressing his lips against hers in a sweet, welcomed homecoming kiss away from the prying eyes and knowing looks from their friends. Sonic would often bring her little gifts and trinkets from his travels, and, depending on what she was doing, he’d bring her with him, carrying her in the safety and warmth of his arms as the wind whipped around them and the scenery blurred into a plethora of colors melted together.

She gently brushed her hands through his quills as she gazed at him fondly, eyes full of love and her heart full to bursting with joy. It still amazed her at not only how much love in her heart she carried for him, but how Sonic returned that same love tenfold, and while she couldn’t say she enjoyed every part of the road that led him to her and vice versa, she wouldn’t complain because this path she walked guided her to the love of her life and keeper of her heart, and she would cherish moments like these and the memories they were creating forever.

[velvetporcelain]

dead man’s blues

hello lover — nothing new here with me except the way i experience the same things everyday. I want to sleep in my bed with the window open- listening to the things i never get to hear — god created a creature capable of thoughts, dreams, consciousness and it became a monster that he left in a jar.

i miss you in a way that doesn’t really hurt anymore. i think of you and i can only mutter the words FUCK YOU. — and that means i am in the perfect position to say so — i attach myself to nothing and i have you to thank for that, but I don’t want to give you too much credit because you were only the push I needed, I taught myself how to apply it.

i would like to stay away forever this time. i have worked too hard to get here and i still have work to do to get to wherever it is i am going- i am not really sure what that is but i continue to flip back and forth between feeling everything and then feeling nothing. feeling nothing seems much like peace but i think its a placebo.

nothing can satisfy the desire of a thinking animal, he will eat his way through every pleasure- ignoring the repercussions of collateral damage. By then, it is too late to really fix anything and that’s when the seven stages of grieve set in— and we weren’t taught how to navigate through them— we skipped those steps by calling everyone sensitive and sent them to therapy. my views of the world continue to reflect in the way I present myself to the world— intense, passionate, consuming, sharp, and artistic. — but never would i choose the word beautiful.

-x