#OH it's been a while since i've had a good tag ramble on a post thats literally one line long

[avocado-frog]

dylan is a "would you still love me if i was a worm" character by the way

[timeregistry]

omg dude i love ur sebastian!!!

and if u want, i’ll tag u when i post my painter design

i’d also like to hear more of ur ramblings about pressure or anything of the sort :3

have a good day!!!

TYSM!!! I'm glad people like him 🥹He's been my everything since I got into Pressure, let's just say that the AU of my fic had lived in my brain since forever before I started writing LOL

OH and also I would ADORE to see your Painter design PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I LOVE PAINTER SM I LOVE ALL PAINTER DESIGNS

ALSO sorry for answering this so late I got injured (again...) and it was hard to write but also I’m INSANE like IM CRAZY you literally put on a silver platter that I can talk about ANYTHING like DUDE. IM CRAZY. I jump around fandoms a lot so to say that I have a lot on my mind apart from work is an understatement (let's just say earlier I went crazy about regretevator...... it's bad)

SO to organize my thoughts, I've been really wanting to actually talk about like... some thought process stuff of my fic (A Human's Touch) and things that happen before the fic... since SO MUCH happened but I don't mention it because we are put at a specific moment in the story... VERY VERY Sebastian and reader focused so TW: Sebastian Solace 😔

Under cut because its LONG. LIKE. REALLY LONG. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT LMAOOOO

SO pressure's lore is a MESS don't get me started on how I feel about the current lore so I decided that since no one really saw the timeline or pretends it doesn't exist as they should, I feel it's a bit unlikely Sebastian would be able to convince Painter to start killing people after meeting it TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR T_T (and hacking all of Urbanshade network in that time?!) so that's why I actually made (in chapter 7 that is not on tumblr rn LOL) them meet. I mentioned in a comment on AO3 since someone had asked smth about Sebastian and just to give an idea, the start of A Human's Touch happens a couple of months before the events of Pressure. SO at that point, Sebastian and Painter have known each other for months. I would LOVE to go into detail how I see their relationship is when the lockdown happens + what happens with reader but I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING T_T so maybe when I finish the fic I'll go into detail as I'm not actually really planning on writing the actual like.... events of pressure w/ reader instead I guess, idk how to put it, just to let you in a little secret, Painter does know part of Sebastian's plan when the lockdown happens in this universe.

So enough about Pressure lore and what I changed from that, I wanted to talk a bit about before the events of the fic... I didn't write it since I felt it would be very Sebastian and reader centric and since it was most likely going to be in a platonic sense I wasn't sure if people would be interested! To admit something since I don't imagine many people will read this but originally I had written a fic that was with Sebastian (it was more romance with him tho as I was down HORRENDOUS I wrote so much Sebastian y’all have no idea I got jumpscared trying to find some of my old things to reference and seeing the sheer amount of Sebastian) which was actually where the original summary of A Human's Touch came from HELPPPP LIKE ORIGINALLY IT WAS A PARAGRAPH OF MY FIC I JUST EDITED IT T_T I never post what I write I'm surprised that I even posted A Human's Touch but I digress. Anyways I had originally considered writing a platonic version of that fic (not like that one was finished) but in the end I never did since again, I didn't think anyone would read it--

Either way, here is a TLDR of how reader and Sebastian met. Basically reader came in as an intern to Urbanshade right? How I imagined it was that they actually had seen Sebastian when he was still in his big ol heavy containment aquarium. While I think he still needs to go there when Urbanshade wants to contain him, I imagine reader met him when he was MOSTLY in there... While he could leave as his status as an MR-P made it so that now he could leave and free-roam, I imagined that he never really saw a reason to do so... I think atp Urbanshade hadn't really found a good reason for him either, as he was soo unpredictable because of how aggressive he was with them. SO they just leave him in his cell basically, its good to see if there were any longer terms effects of his… condition. He would normally just look into the window and look at any of the scientists.

Now how I imagined his heavy containment cell was that like, an aquarium. Like there is this big window where you can see him but I imagine that he had this like area at the surface of his cell that there is like a walking area but it was specifically because not only is he an MR-P so its like a little better than his old cell but also because he was exactly for an experiment that was to make humans be able to breathe over and underwater so I like to think they want him to take in oxygen naturally anyways–

MS Paint jumpscare but something like this

ANYWAYS I imagine reader had seen him from the window that you can peak in from just him swimming around and being completely fascinated by him. Stuff happens, and they decide to try to see him without their superiors knowing so... I decided I would pull directly from one of my old fics:

You first met Sebastian fully at night, when most scientists were already resting in their own quarters. You were already shown where you would stay, yet you couldn’t get the image of Sebastian out of your mind. You wanted to meet him directly. He was the first of the subjects that you met, against all safety protocols and you remember he himself mentioning it. He was rude and in all ways, a certified asshole, immediately tricking you by making you walk a bit too close and effectively making you fall in his tank. He didn’t keep you there however, you knew he didn’t like your presence but you couldn’t resist wanting to learn more about him.

How I imagine reader's and Sebastian's relationship was just, a really rocky start because we have reader who wanted to know more about him and then we have Sebastian who didn't want to know anything about reader because they are just another scientist. He never left his containment either because I imagine that the other prisoners would give him funny looks and dislike his presence because of how he was. I think... he was very bitter. It took a lot for him to warm up as he did… Especially with someone who was one of the scientists! 

“You really don’t know do you?” Sebastian snarled slightly, his casual facade crumbling briefly as his expression went more of pity. “Of course you don’t, you keep coming in here as if I can’t kill you right here and now.” You frowned at him. “I’m here to learn-” “You are trapped. They have you right where they want you. The moment that you have served your purpose they will kill you.” He put a claw near you, his other hand flaunting his sharp nails. You took a step back, sensing danger unconsciously. He noticed, his trained eyes on you like a predator. “Word of advice, start making yourself useful and leave me alone.”

I always saw that reader was treading on treacherous waters... always seeing Sebastian secretly at night and after talking with him, he would eventually warm up because whether he liked it or not, I think he was lonely. Because he would live without speaking with anyone and talking to someone who's a lot more genuine... I don't think the reader is like the other scientists at all, I don't think that it would even be known what Urbanshade was doing! I think Urbanshade just flaunts a lot and doesn't hide anything, but makes any new interns or hires go through the longest paperwork part of their work EVER to see if they are dedicated before kinda forcing the unethical experiments... basically like roping in with mundanity and beauty, the curiousity on how these beautiful sea creatures are made only to find out that it was all done with torture--

SO my point is that reader didn't know what happened to Sebastian, nor knew why he was so standoffish, they were forced to do ONLY paperwork and their free time went into seeing the subject that they can see very very easily. It was like... just the curiousity of what Sebastian was, what he was capable of, etc etc. I don't think reader even knew that he was... human. And he doesn't mention it either... I think he only mentions it soooo much later... As for Sebastian’s side of things, I imagine he decided to entertain the reader only because atp he’s thinking he can probably use their naivety for his escape!

ANYWAYS to skip ahead because I have JUST SEEN THE SHEER LENGTH OF THIS IM SOOOO SORRY I LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CREATIONS IDK lore dump moment

So at one point, Urbanshade notices that reader is interacting with Sebastian, however, instead of like, stopping them, I imagine that Urbanshade instead saw an opportunity. Sebastian doesn’t talk to ANYONE so suddenly finding out that he’s talking to someone??? 

It was only much later that he actually warmed up to your presence, choosing to follow you around when you were stuck doing your boring paperwork. You were starting to regret applying here as they wanted to wait a really long time until you could actually do any hands-on work. However, Sebastian’s presence made the situation a lot more bearable, as he would sometimes read over your shoulder and mention things that you would outright forget to write down. Because of his seeming attachment to you, your higher-ups completely changed your temporary job of reading and copying down paperwork into instead… still do the same thing but also look over Sebastian’s behaviour. They would say how you were the only person that he got along with, which meant it was the opportune moment to find out more about him and fill his file even more as it was severely lacking apparently. And so started your Behavioural Scientist job with no hiccups whatsoever. Especially not after begging Urbanshade not to let you go after the internship ended, convincing them that you were the only person who managed to get even remotely close to Sebastian’s good graces. No issues at all... 

OH and at some point reader is given their own office and it’s because they had a normal desk like other people before but because Sebastian is.. big… he would push the desks all the time and he would apologize to the scientists but you can tell he wasn’t being genuine as the malice was obvious on him SCREAMING but after having TOO MANY complaints about Sebastian following reader around and reader insisting that they need him to follow because it’s their job, Urbanshade just gave them a temporal office (that became their permanent office for years to come)--

I think it’s there where Sebastian starts seeing reader as a “friend”, they never hurt him and quickly realise that reader was genuinely not evil like the scientists that experimented on him. While Urbanshade made reader the behavioural scientist, they started working with other subjects as well (as you guys know) and Sebastian started seeing reader in a much more positive light. 

Reader goes on vacation sometimes, brings a lot of trinkets and pictures of the outside world to Sebastian. I think he tries to keep a strong face when he gets some of those things, he misses the outside world. I like to think reader asked him once what was his favorite snack and he would mention something from Chile and reader would get it for him and that’s probably the first time that he does cry in front of them because of the whole emotion of having something that’s basically a comfort food after so long. It was like a taste of freedom. Something to look forward to and not give up to Urbanshade. And seeing as how reader didn’t look disappointed or in any negative emotion I think that’s when Sebastian just completely changed his perspective. The idea where now in his grand plan of escaping the Blacksite that he had been making the moment that Urbanshade stopped doing the extreme experiments and let him walk (slitter?) freely now would include reader. 

While he knows reader is there for the other subjects too, he also knows that they are mostly there for him counting as I imagine there is a lot of subjects that reader can’t understand (like the angler… or pandemonium…) and while Sebastian knows a lot of them thanks to working with reader so closely (him reading all these classified documents) that he weights if he would escape the Blacksite he would want to take reader with him. I think at first when they met he was like they might die but its a sacrifice for his escape (they are but another scientist), but now he’s like if they die I die (“I have failed.”).

BASICALLY I imagine their friendship that is very slowburn but in the end they become extremely loyal to each other, reader doesn’t know that they are part of his plan now. I mention it in A Human’s Touch but Sebastian has this hidden room where he keeps all these things and he probably has written (in a coded language) a whole plan of his escape + what he would do once he gets out of the Blacksite. At first it only included him but the longer he spent with reader the more he kept in mine their safety as they are the only friend he’s had for years and they are ATTACHED. 

Oh and a final note, Sebastian’s bracelets were given by reader, but i wanted to talk briefly on the obsidian one because I went with spirituality and symbolism as to why I took that material… obsidian bracelets mean protection, grounding and emotional healing… a lot of mental clearance and transforms negative energy to positive ones. I like to think that reader got it for him after learning more about him, because just as he wants them to be safe, they want him to be safe too. Their biggest fear is that Urbanshade would want to experiment harder again with him again and/or kill him. Sebastian shares the same fear.

OK I think I am... done... I'm so sorry AGAIN if something doesn't make sense... feel free to send an ask.... That goes for anyone ofc but yes... I'm crazy but if you got this far here's a quick doodle I did for your troubles dear reader

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

I am!!!! Immensely enjoying your blog!!! Because yes yes YES by all means call out the nonsense both canon and fandom pull on Ishvalans!!! I haven't gone to check recently but when I checked a long time ago, the Ishval tag on tumblr was filled with white Amestrian Royai angst... and nary a shred of Ishvalans... BUT ANYWAYS

I don't know who the anon that talked about Scar's religious, theological, and academic pedigree because it's so so so good and I will think about it forever and also it made me think about an AU I haven't touched in a while (because not many are interested in Ishvalan centric thing, much less an OC thing I guess) and I won't rattle your ears about it here obviously I don't wanna bother you with it but man. I had this mixed OC character who's actually Miles' daughter who had Complicated feelings on him bc he was gone far too soon from her life due to getting arrested and held for who knows how long while her Amestrian mother died during that time and she just... fell through the cracks, and in that AU I characterized Miles as “yeah be a model citizen and change how Amestrians view Ishvalans :)” to his young little daughter who faced much bullying and discrimination at school, couldn't pass on any part of their Ishvalan heritage, and as a result the girl... felt insecure in her own blood and belonging and eventually finds a mentor/father figure in Scar and that ask about Scar's role in being a record-keeper and studied his people's history just reminded me of the dynamic the two had in my AU. I think I've rambled enough about my own AU despite saying I won't so I'll end the ask here but thank you for being a ray of hope for me and also hello anon I love you whoever you are!! (I might come back and maybe even off-anon!) Have a nice day, both of you!

Ahhh, thanks for the kind words! I'm always excited to hear how this blog has offered people something the fandom at large doesn't bother with. Scar and the Ishvalans/Ishbalans are so sorely ignored.

I haven't touched the Ishval tag on tumblr, but going by the abysmal results on other platforms that make Ishval and the genocide of Ishvalans all about the damn war criminals, I can't say I'm surprised. It likely hasn't gotten any better since you last checked. :/ Man even what little Scar posts and fanworks I can find often somehow revolve around the war criminals (he's just flavouring for their angst/battles/found family bonding and that content in particular tends to be mad derogatory).

:0! Oh shit, a pair of anons like ships in the night. I hope you two manage to find each other. If you're reading this, cool Miles/Scar shipper anon, you have a kindred spirit here too.

You're welcome to expound on your AU and your oc! If anything, thanks for sharing. Interesting that Miles gets arrested; had he been rounded up by the State for being half Ishvalan, or had he done something that his superiors wanted to punish or suppress? And poor kid got functionally orphaned, all while carrying the burden of "healing" the racism rampant in Amestrian society. It's perfectly in-character for Miles to teach his child that they have to prove to the world that the bigotry they all suffer is wrong, that they are 'worthy' humans all along. He himself seems to think that the racism and fascism Ishvalans are made to suffer from Amestrians is all some "big misunderstanding". That alongside the relentless bullying would mess anyone up, let alone a child.

Finding a mentor in someone who actually loves his people, and who can guide her in seeing where the true problems lie, listen to her pain, and teach her about her heritage (and how to fight) would be a boon to any Ishvalan kid. Scar would make an amazing guardian. 🥺

Aw, you're welcome! I don't know what else to say, but your message made me smile! I hope this blog can continue to be a bright spot for you for as long as you need it. Crossing my fingers that you and the other anon get to connect with one another real soon.

Hope you have a nice day too!

[boyswhowawa]

The Undead Of Winter, Introduction

The Undead of Winter

two slugcats, forever bound to walk the world

things that will forever haunt them echo on the icy winds

things that will forever hurt them watch in dark shadows

but there is never a lack of hope for healing from the things that hide on the edge of your reality

[ A bit more info, Character references, and a special message at the end under the cut! ]

first things first,

The Saint, also called Wallow, White, or Blender

This little guy has gone through. Far. Far too much. But we'll see how things go for him from here

(Pronouns are He/Its)

The Artificer, also called Beasty, Bomber, Heretic, or Booster

This not so little guy has also been through a lot, she's become something a bit more than a little violent rodent nowadays though...

(Pronouns He/She/They)

almost Immediately when I shared the Saint's design with some friends, my friend @draagu (sorry if tagging's not alright let me know and I will nnot do it again) was like "I wanna hug him" (since then I've had at least 5 people say the same thing lasjdfl;akdfjs;aljsf [As they should this man needs many hugs])

so I doodled that

here's a goofier doodle of the two

also featuring a little cameo from some art by @pookapufferfishjsad;lfkjasdf because I did these twos' designs while me and pooka were doing some drawing together

(which was still really fun oh my goodness I'm excited to do it again sometime)

and now!!!

A little bit more of a serious (?? ish??) note

The Undead of Winter is a project I'm really excited for

it's not gonna be anything too massive, but I just hope all who choose to watch and view enjoy the show

this project is going to be very personal for me, I'm leaning on writing styles that comfort me, and choosing to share them because I think it'll be nice, and one thing that comforts me is big angst, and what follows, the big healing

so this is your warning that this one might hurt a little, but it's not my intention to leave you hurting reading this, and i'm sorry if it does

if you're interested in reading along, I'm gonna be tagging all posts related to it with #RW The Undead Of Winter, as well as #RW TUOW

also if you wanna post thoughts or anything like that, please, feel free to come into my asks, or post anything like that with those tags, I really appreciate anything, wether it's constructive criticism, just some gushing about stuff if you feel like it, some feelings it may have given you, or if you doodle anything

I wanna see all of that, preferably, ajsdl;fkaj

I'm gonna have fun doing this

thanks for bearing with me rambling

and i hope you have a good day

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

had to put these on hold for a while for personal reasons </3 they're likely to still be infrequent, but in honor of kirb2k!

(my notes would only load back to mid september so I missed a couple weeks sorry :c but be warned that this is a long one! it's 3 entire months' worth!)

also, reminder that kirb2k ends tomorrow!!! preorders, commissions, and auctions will all close at noon pst on sunday december 17th! everything is linked in the pinned post or filed under the tag kirb2k!

first is one more birthday kirb from my friend @sleepy-sheep-wizard:

Realized halfway thru that I don’t know what Kirby looks like off the top of my head, so I got funky with it. Happy birthday, thank you for being a good friend

thank you again friend <3 getting funky with it is truly in the spirit of just drawing a little guy for fun, I love his little hat in particular.

on [mirror] @shapeshifterwithafez said: uuuh is Scherben bringen Glück/ Shards bring luck a universal saying? sounfs clinky as a direct translation. anyways in germany we say that shards of stuff you broke brings luck so I hope the luck finds you or smth sorry for rambling ^^

I'd never heard this saying before, but I think it's very sweet! thank you for sharing it with me :)

on [pipefight] @hauntedppgpaints said: goalies with a skate blade and their stick in hand

big hockey vibes for real yeah lol

on [pink] @gaydiation-poisoning said: ...I wanna eat that pink

honestly same, it's sooo pleasing

on [rain] @hive-heart said: Everything alright, daily kirby guy?

not really but sitting by the window in the rain is a good thing lol thanks for asking <3

(also the person who tagged that same post myhouse.wad made me laugh)

on [photo] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a picture of their cat and said: get adored idiot!! see the hate in her eyes? I’ll make her love me yet!!

me @ my partner's cat

@violet-dragongirl said: oh! I have been meaning to ask! Have you played Kirby and The Forgotten Lands? I assume you did but just wanted to say that I did about a week ago and I loved it and thought of your art! ^.^ And if you haven't, yes, Carby is super adorable and amazing :3

I have! I got it very shortly after it came out, I had a really good time with it. I've been slowly replaying it recently with my partner, they were kind of fond of kirby just by proxy but since we started playing they adore bandee now and say he never gets enough screen time XD I'm glad you also had fun!

on [mice] @ceylonsilvergirl said: girls like swarms of things, right?

idk bro my wife wasn't so big on it when I got a gig housing 30 mice, but maybe she's weird. I liked them. (sadly one of the best paying jobs I've ever had up until the owner lost it and abandoned them with me, yes I still took care of them for the rest of their little lives) (and yes I also got my wife's okay before I took them on in the first place)

on [covid] @mordantivore said: reading posts from when the era of covid safety was declared anathema and ended is haunting. we were so desperate to find ppl willing to help us stay alive. there are fewer of us now bc “allies” are worthless & more of us have died

yeah. fuck. I'm lucky that the people in closest proximity to me are at least moderately careful, but me and my wife and partner are usually the only ones wearing masks anywhere we go except sometimes the employees and I know they don't always wear them when they're out without me.

on [swim] @northeasternwind said: Jdjdjfkg imagining Kirby being way more bouyant than your average human so them gotta exhale REAL HARD or attach nega-floaties (sinkies?) like weights to dive

lol yeah they probably gotta try So Hard to actually get under the water. (I think diving weights/ballast is a thing that humans use too? I've never gone diving, having my face underwater stresses me out -n- )

on [float] @nickiemoot said: he has to go now. his planet needs him. *slide whistle*

I can only hear this as that one similar part from one of the asdfmovies, it delights me

@vampiricarus said: if you see this just know i love your art so much

aww thank you! <3

anonymous said: just wanted to say I love Kirby and I love your art! I’m always excited to see it on my dash. thank you for bringing a little joy to my life :) I need it once in a while like I’m sure a lot of others do too! Keep up the good work :))

thank you! drawing a little guy brings me a little joy too, I'm glad it can do the same for others <3

on [drain] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Existing is hard work sometimes. A lot of the time

fuck dude it sure is <3 especially when my body keeps trying to shut down lol

on [mud] @why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken said: Hey man are u doing ok

I am not, thanks for asking <3

on [tummyache] @hobgirl said: :o kirby the gorb why would you do that!!!!! why!!!!!

I didn't want it to go to waste!!! everyone is dumb sometimes!!!

on [wizard] @eau-the-agony said: not enough appreciation in the wizarding world for garlic salt spell. its all kung pow penis tgis and ketamine ape that. not enough of the small joys which carry us through the horrors like a dinky garbage raft

you are so right. the small joys are the most powerful of all.

on [wizard] @beepbeepdespair said: somehow didnt know garlic salt was a thing until this moment. now i really want some. i think i just found a kg of it online for 12 quid??

I am so pleased that you now have the knowledge of Garlic Salt Spell, I hope you got to try it out for yourself :D

on [zelda] @chaos-squared said: Good job!! I’ve had it for longer yet still haven’t completed it ;w;

nothing wrong with that! I only finished it as quickly and thoroughly as I did because I was basically bedridden for all of october, as long as you enjoy the time you do spend with a game it doesn't really matter how much time you spend or how far you get.

on [brave] @gudetamalover said: me tomorrow afternoon when I get all four wisdom teeth out

I'd already had several other oral surgeries on account of Weird Teeth before I got my wisdom teeth out but it still knocked me on my ass for a couple days, I hope your recovery went as smooth as possible! (altho that was also like. 15 years ago. and general anesthesia has gotten a lot better since then.)

on [shiny] @angst-and-fajitas said: Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

bald! bald! bald! bald!

on [powerwash] @chronicdilf said: decemberb 16 im goign to walk across the damn stage get my damn diploma folder im going to go home and POWERWASHER SIMULATOR JUST LIKE KIRBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!! you're gonna do it!!! you might be doing it right now even!!!

on [cooked] @hobgirl said: oh mood kirby..... struggling with the very last paper i need to write before i can graduate and its got me feeling this way fr

ough, I hope you made it through your paper! lots of people graduating tho that's so cool, congrats to both of you!

on [bears] @jupiterlandings said: I get so happy every time I see Cake and the name Cake being tagged :)

it's such a good name for a bear, I'm grateful you thought of it!! especially given the best I could do for the other one was "kirbear" lol

@violet-dragongirl said: omg seeing that Fav Grobs Post you recently put up makes me so happy! over a thousand (and then some!) GORBS?! :D I'm not only impressed but so proud ya made it this far and I'm so glad you got possibly more to go of Kirby!! :D!! Really great job 🥰🥰

thank you! I'm gonna hit 2000 days of drawing kirby tomorrow, that's so wild!

on [popular] @timeturner-jay said: Op your Kirby art brings so much utter joy you have no idea <3

yay I'm glad <3 I love to draw a little guy, it's good I'm not the only one having fun lol

I got a lot of "good blaze op" on the [macarena], and you're all correct, thank you for recognizing my great decision making B) (I'd been meaning to add the music and blaze it from basically the moment I drew it, I've just been really sick so it took a while.)

(also even if I don't always gather them in the roundup there are names I recognize showing up repeatedly in the tags, some of whom have been here for years, and I'm always glad to see you're still around!)

[lycorisicecream]

Art dump of some old Databrawl OCs from a computer I was working on with an ex-friend (the computer was intended to be explored through an RPGMaker game, he owned RPGMaker while I didn't) below, I still like some of these designs and I want to rework the others into something cooler (and more importantly rename the computer to something else to distance myself from him) There's also some ranting after the images, so keep in mind that

(click the weirdly cropped images in order to view them, idk why Tumblr did that) Mentioning the game thing he barely even worked on it and he completely forgot about it, I lied to him about having forgotten about it too the one time I brought it up to him since I didn't want to be harsh on him and I still feel salty about that since I'm the one who bought him RPGMaker since he had game developer knowledge from Roblox (I have never made a game before so I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do anything if I was the one with the engine)

The plot for the game I mostly forgot, but I remember that Stargazer was trying to take over the computer via controlling others, that Pluto and Eris were siblings (one of them would get controlled by Stargazer and have to get killed by the other, I forgot who), one of the spywares was the weapons shopkeeper while the other one would be hostile at first but join the party later on to help defeat Stargazer (this would've been post-death of one of the siblings), and that the story was linear with the only ending being that of defeating Stargazer. The story was super messy and disorganized from what I recall, I wanted help from the ex-friend in writing it and planning stuff out but he never really bothered

This would've been my 2nd time making an outline of a story planned to be a game (the other time would've been for a project that I don't want to name as I'd rather it be a Yume Nikki styled game now) which explains as to why it was so messy, paired with not getting any help making it so that even if my ex-friend had been working on the game rather than ditching it for his other projects I get the impression that it wouldn't have really been that good of a game

Oh yeah did I mention that said ex-friend was a big bitch when I was excited over things like wanting to write dialog or a non-outline version of the story since he was like "what if the game doesn't work out, you shouldn't move so fast" so I feel like the project in general was doomed thanks to him

But yeah since I've rambled this much you can have some old art of one of my Databrawl OCs that isn't from that computer

He's still alive and around, just VERY traumatized thanks to lore™️ and various actions he's made

I lowkey want to redesign his outfit and claws, I should draw him again since I feel like I've gotten better at drawing Databrawl things

Not tagging this post at all due to it being old art and highly ranty 👍👍👍

[softguarnere]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you for the tag @mercurygray!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 6, but hopefully that number will go up over spring break

What's your total AO3 word count?

119,136

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like A Girl (Like A Man) - Band of Brothers

Just A Kid - The Outsiders

Bear The Burden Alone - The Chronicles of Narnia

For Whatever We Lose - Band of Brothers

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, absolutely! I share my writing because it allows me to connect with people who share my interests. If I'm not posting replies, it feels more like a one sided conversation, imo. Also, it seems the polite thing to do

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It's about to be Like A Girl (Like A Man)! You'll see why soon >:)

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

On AO3, it's probably Bear The Burden Alone, but I try to keep the fics that I post here on Tumblr kinda upbeat with hopeful -- albeit open-ended -- endings.

Do you write crossovers?

Yeah! For Whatever We Lose is actually a crossover with The Pacific, and I'd love to do more crossovers in the future

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I've deleted the comments, but some people were VERY ANGRY about the background Babe/Roe content in LAGLAM -- you know, despite the fact that the plot of the fic is driven by a queer woman's decision to cross-dress. Guess they had to draw the line somewhere, but the hypocrisy of it all makes me chuckle

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Kinda? I deleted most of it from the original LAGLAM drafts and instead just alluded to it, but things are going to be different in FWWL. Get ready for crappy ocean metaphors and religious imagery, babes!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not :( That would stink

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I think it would be fun!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Everlark! (said while frothing at the mouth because they make me go insane) I've been obsessed with them since I first read The Hunger Games at age 9. I could write you a whole novel about why I think they're perfect together, but I'll spare you the ramble (unless anyone wants it?)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Tears in my eyes when I tell you that it's probably the requests in my inbox. I keep telling myself that I'll get to them, but I've just felt unmotivated with all the stuff I've had going on in my personal life/at school. I really really do hope to get to them someday, though, because some of them will be really fun to write

What are your writing strengths?

I have no clue, lol. I tend to get compliments about how I describe settings, so I'm gonna say that!

What are your writing weaknesses?

My abuse of commas and italics.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Personally, I love doing it. Especially in a fic like LAGLAM, where even though most people don't speak the language I'm using (Cherokee), I feel like they can still see the importance to the characters and to the story. And I like tricking people into caring about Indigenous language preservation. My teachers told me that anything can be a vessel for carrying language on, and by God, I took that to heart

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh boy. I was in the fifth grade. I had won many writing competitions. Two classmates approached me and told me that they wished The Hunger Games had more post-Mockingjay Everlark content, and that since I was a good writer, they wanted me to write it. I was traded many cosmic brownies and other such snacks throughout the year for my services in providing my classmates with Everlark fics on pages of notebook paper that are probably crumpled up in a landfill by now. At the time, I had no idea I was writing fanfiction, but it was the start of my favorite hobby. Look at me now, baby!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I've always wanted to write for TURN: Washington's Spies but have never had the courage haha

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I have a couple of one-shots that I'm pretty pleased with, but currently I'm going to say LAGLAM because it's been so special to me <3

Tagging (but no pressure!): @almost-a-class-act @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @liebgotts-lovergirl

[cookinguptales]

I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao

Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.

For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...

AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.

But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.

All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.

I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.

I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.

I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.

I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like

It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.

It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.

So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.

I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.

What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.

In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.

And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.

(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)

I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.

I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.

There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.

But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.

I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.

It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.

My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.

Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.

But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.

like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.

(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)

It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.

I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!

Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;

Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.

[nintando64]

Well come and well met, my Brave Little Spark

It's been a year to the day since I started my second attempt at playing Final Fantasy XIV (at least it was when I started writing this post). And I've... uhh...

Played it a little bit. And in that span of time, this girl has become such a big part of my life. So I wanted to talk a little bit about that journey and how Sophiane Dailemont became such a big part of my life. More assorted ramblings and screenshots below the cut (Contains Spoilers for the entire game, yee be warned). No tags for this one. This post is for me.

"Become the sort of storied personage I can brag about havin' met, an' I'll consider us square."

One thing I do when I play RPG's is create a character who is kinda like me, but never actually me. I put a little bit of myself into them, then I let the true personality of the character shine through as the game progresses. But I wasn't really doing that this second time around. This was a second attempt after all. I was mainly playing through the story again to refresh myself. So for most of ARR I was just kinda... playing the game.

And I still had a fabulous time. I am a certified ARR Enjoyer after all. While there are... one or two segments I still don't necessarily think belong like corrupted crystals I still think the rest is incredibly enjoyable. I think the introduction to the primals is great, I love the company of heroes section, and the raid on the waking sands is such a great "Welcome to Final Fantasy XIV" moment.

But once I got to the end of ARR, thats when her character started to take shape. And thats exactly when I game I was already sold on sunk its claws into me and would never let go. I decided to work my previous attempt into my headcanon for Sophiane, and have ARR be a shared journey between the two, and my other character (who I may write about in the future)... well, she's dead.

And the journey transformed into a journey of loss. Of moving on. Of figuring out how to build a life that's lived for yourself. And the story of FFXIV is very compliant to that kind of tale. A tale of loss, and of fire and faith.

But its not just a tale about grief and suffering. It's a tale about the bonds we form, about leaning on each other. Its not a tale where things magically get fixed, where we go from bad state to good state. And thats what I came to adore about the 2.X patch quests. Through all the intrigue, the politics, and the loss. It was where the theme of the bonds we share starting to take root. And also help me cement more of Sophiane's job identity.

Throughout ARR I had just kinda juggled jobs to keep things from getting overleveled (I started off on Materia and oh does the Road to 90 buff ever have hands). But having gone through the patch quests as a Paladin, it organically lead me to moving onto Dragoon for Heavensward. And what an amazing choice that was.

If ARR was where Sophiane started to take shape. Heavensward is where she truly came into her own as a character. This wasn't the tale of a brave hero. Of unflappable stoicism. But the journey of a scared and timid girl. Now aimless and afraid after having lost the beacon and guiding star of her life. The cheers and adulation of those around her ringing false in her own ears. Undeserved, unearned.

Which rang true to me. I myself struggle with imposter syndrome, and I guess that's the part of me that ended up being given to her. But what she does with it, the way her story evolves and grows shows just how rich and unique her struggles are. Watching someone learn the strength to stand back up on her own two feet.

It was around this time that I was filled with so much creativity. There was so much here to put to page. I used to write long ago, and this game filled me with the overwhelming urge to pick it back up. There were so many details here, ones that I knew at the time and ones that I would uncover later, that I needed to express. And it filled me with so much joy.

And as I detached myself from Sophiane and let her become herself even more, I got sucked into the game even harder. I began to plan and prepare how I would take on the MSQ. Making sure I got the experience right. Including letting her go where I never could.

A story of inadequacy, of guilt, of feeling lost without a guiding star and mentor. Its no surprise it led us to here. Seeking support, absolution. Wrestling with the darkness inside. Wrestling with the questions of whether or not she was a good person. It was these moments that really let her kindness shine through.

Throughout it all, Sophiane developed a shield of bravado. Physically stronger, but emotionally much weaker, this was the beginning of a destructive spiral. Sure she appeared much more cocky and self assured, but it was all a thin veneer. And I think Shadowbringers was the perfect expansion to field that.

Shadowbringers is many things, it is the single greatest standalone story in the series after all. But it is at its core a story about the connections we make. And I believe its these connections that make our Warriors of Light who they are. I know they made Sophiane who she is.

The care, the admiration, the concern showed by friends one and all. The desire to connect, to know and understand. It's a desire I can definitely relate to. Up until the end of Shadowbringers, I was on the Materia DC. I had decided to create a character there for all the benefits of course, but also as it was a place I could adventure on my own. But after Shadowbringers I... wanted to share this experience, and so I world transfered over to my friend on Gilgamesh. There, I was able to start talking to people, and made new friends. Joined new communities. And finally took the multiplayer part of this massively multiplayer online RPG seriously.

I got over my own sense of worries and anxieties around playing the game and just... played the game. Slowly but surely, of course. While it started as just being able to run DPS roulettes without anxiety, I have since started to work on my tank and healer anxieties, and they're going well! But back to Sophiane.

All the prep work I was putting into Sophiane. All the countless hours of side questing, of narrative creation, of ensuring I approached the MSQ just right, it was all for Endwalker. By now, Sophiane was... mostly okay, but still wrestled with survivors guilt. Dwelling on the loss of her friend, the very fact that I started this obsession with. And what a fitting expansion (I keep saying that), given the overwhelming number of callbacks to ARR.

While i've been writing a lot of information and facts and fleshing out her character, this scene was the first time I felt compelled to write a story with Sophiane. It was nothing more than a slight expansion of the scene, but it was the first time I let Sophiane speak. Endwalker, the expansion of Hear, Feel, Think was the expansion she got to finally express herself. My Sophiane master doc has 15k words and counting (and will never see the light of day).

And while ever since Heavensward I've basically made a tradition of being the trailer job for the expansion, this time, I chose to take on Endwalker as a Paladin for a different reason. It felt... right. After all she'd been through, it felt right to let Sophiane return to the role of valiant protector. Paladin has always felt like Sophiane's ARR class. As an Archer, and a Lancer, she felt... timid, unsure. It wasn't until she felt the security of steel and shield that she started to come into her own as an adventurer. Outside of pursuing the lance further in the Coerthas section, she was a Paladin, but cast it aside after The Parting Glass. So returning to Paladin was a card I was always saving for when the time felt right.

And right it felt. Endwalker soon got to work making me feel rewarded for all my effort, all my preparation. All my investment.

I felt rewarded for becoming so attached to Sophiane.

And Endwalkers themes felt perfect next to my own themes for Sophiane, as if the narrative had been tailor made to be perfect for just me. I wonder how many other people have shared that sensation.

And... everything came to a head at Ultima Thule. Sophiane's journey, my own journey, they were reaching the end. Finally grasping the weight of her presence and the impact she'd had on the lives of those around her, she finally got to stand tall, alone at the end of everything.

I was... consumed as soon as I headed to Ultima Thule. I would not, could not dare stop before I reached the end. And I am ever grateful I did. Ultima Thule is the pinnacle of any gaming experience I have ever had. Because I made it so. Because I role-played.

Which... leads me to the one instance where I broke from tradition, where I didn't use the trailer job for an expansion.

I imagine that smirk already tells anyone who recognises it what comes next, but... My one big criticism of Shadowbringers is Ran'jit. While his place as Thancred's antagonist is was well done and the Thancred solo instance was one of the great solo instances, Ran'jit always felt hollow in opposition to Sophiane. Forced, contrived. As we returned to the source and were confronted by Fandaniel, who revealed that Zenos had a hard-n for a rematch, it clicked.

Zenos was right back in Stormblood. He and Sophiane are birds of a feather, two sides of the same coin. Through all the anxiety, the suffering, the thing that kept Sophiane getting back on her feet was the thrill of battle. And after a healthy dose of Trauma and some good friends, she was finally able to actually think about that and understand that.

And as she did, once she knew that Zenos had become a reaper, Sophiane screamed at me to let her become one as well. She wanted the rematch to be on equal terms. To bring her all to bear against him. And while I loathe edgy classes (the reaper role quests did make me roll my eyes a couple of times) I pushed through it and let her be a reaper.

And oh how WORTH IT it was. The GOAT solo instance. The reward for a long and worthwhile journey.

at 4:38am one May morning, I finished 6.0. And FFXIV cemented itself as my forever game. But, so close to Dawntrail, the grind didn't stop, I had so much preparation to do for my first expansion. The cycle continued once more.

Once Dawntrail arrived, I just... let myself enjoy it. I knew Sophiane extremely well, and I trusted in my own ability to have fun and...

We had an absolute blast together. And a year later, I wouldn't give her up for the world. Happy Birthday Sophiane. I wonder where we'll be in a year.

How long you've wandered, burned bright as a star.

[acetechne]

Greetings, I'm obsessed with your blog, especially your IAmMathewian content. You have a really good artstyle and you capture the characters very well. Would you be open to making headcanons for various characters? No pressure, of course.

howdy! and thank you, I'm flattered :)

i have been part of iamp for fiiiiiiiifteeeeeeeen yeeeeeears (screech), I did art and voice acting for IAMP Back In The Day and I've at least gotten better at one of those; I also run @project-canada which was an attempted reboot I helped out with but now it's just kind of a general repository for fanworks so I try to check the tags once in a while so people can see others who still make stuff in the fandom.

There are a lot of headcanon type posts on my main blog @allbeendonebefore since I've been around for a long time. If I remember to tag them its usually under iamp headcanon on there. Again, grain of salt, etc. that not everything about IAMP aged well, there are things I've changed my mind about as I've grown as a person and travelled and listened, and there are things that I like to focus on that aren't everyone's cup of tea and that's fine.

going to ramble a little bit, so headcanons fall into one of the following:

1. based on lived experience (i have lived in 3 provinces and 1 territory and have family who have spent time in those places at different times; I have travelled to/through four more provinces on top of that). I am happy to contribute info to those places and explain my perspectives and biases with those because I'm One of the Idiots Who Lives There.

2. based on history (I am not a capital H Historian but my degrees come out of the history and classics department and I am currently doing local history as my Job, I was the person who made the rough timelines of characters' histories when the Project Canada reboot was active because I felt like the only person who had the stamina to do that for every character.

3. based on things that make me angry (or things that are funny!) on the news (some people find it hard to distinguish what is and isn't stereotypes/satire if they're not keeping up with me so the usual disclaimer that I Don't Make Characters Reflect My Actual Views All The Time and there's a difference between "this is how the character is in my mind" and "this is me using blorbo as shorthand for taking out my frustration at the State of Things because i live in a province where the governing party thinks starting Literal Actual Tire Fires is good policy." It's one of those things of "if you are unsure just ask" and I will explain, but I think its usually obvious when I am doing salty political comics vs "this is how I legitimately think the characters would interact", its just striking that balance gets hard sometimes.

4. stuff I hear from other people based on their own experiences or just like. reading and listening a lot.

oh and stuff that other people tell me and i go sure that tracks why not.

Yeah, I'm down to talk about whatever/more specific things whenever, I'm just also very particular about some things and I like it when headcanons are based on something a little bit tangible before I fold them into whatever the hell I'm doing at the time. I also tend to disappoint people because I tend not to approach things from the lens of shipping so... even if it appears its usually in a weird and Stupid way that is for max comedy and not max romance so there's that.

I do also do a lot of side stuff with my own city ocs on @battle-of-alberta because i like the granularity and nuance of municipal stuff to sort of poke holes in the whole flattening national/provincial stereotypes thing. yeah.

again i can talk about this stuff all day but uh i realize I tend to ramble incoherently so I'll cut myself off there. Thanks again, enjoy your exploration, drop me a line if you like etc etc. peace.

[8cfc00]

I think that- oh sorry HI 👋 I hope you don't mind the ask haha I didn't feel like rambling in tags- I've also noticed the downtrend in dndads posting, and while it *could* be some mini migration of people to other fandoms, I'm not so sure that that's the case? Not that people aren't getting into new things (I myself have been, for that matter,) but... How to put it. I feel like the show itself, despite approaching the finale, has kind of been at a quiet point where there simply isn't too much to talk about rn? Like I think the noise will pick back up in the fandom when it picks back up in the show if that makes sense?? Also just a busy time of year for a lot of people I think tbh! And since the fandom is so small to begin with (as you know), it's more noticeable when a bunch of people are preoccupied!

That's what I'm feeling anyways! But yeah I've been thinking about it too, and I empathize with the whole "feeling sad when people leave fandoms" thing, so I felt inclined to share my two cents in case it's any consolation haha. Regarding what you said about whether or not the show is "bad"- yeah, I agree! There's some places it really shines and some places that just aren't its forte, but me personally as long as I'm having fun I'm staying put right here! 😤❤️

!! HELLO!!! and yeah you bring up some good points... like there really isnt too much going on in the story character/emotion wise that people can latch on to (in contrast to the more angst ass eps that seem to be a bigger hit among fandom types) PLUS with only one jan ep the pace at which dndads has been releasing is. a bit slow (ep 50 was basically just 49 part 2 too so...)

as for the parts the show is good at vs the parts it isnt. i think it also comes down to the individuals/groups judging it, and the differences in their expectations... like with s2 ep31 the cast was talking about how the ep sucked in the teen talk, but on tumblr the tag had trended with SO much art... there have also been times when i had really enjoyed an episode only to find not much talk about it. so its really different for different people i guess

i try to not feel TOO dejected about stuff i have no control over (especially online stuff) but yknow life has been stressful and ig some of that stress had carried over to my posting. i didn't mean to start discussion about how good the podcast is (i've seen enough of that on reddit LOL) i dont wanna harsh the vibes, esp cuz i know i dont feel very good when i see critical posts about a show i DO enjoy a lot! (i am similarly " having fun")

THANKS FOR RESPONDING THO it was kinda nice to see im not the only one seeing and thinking about things! yaaaaaa

[blaisenova]

uh oh, it's another fandom writer...

heyo!!

my name's blaise (he/him), i'm 22, and i am, regrettably, a writer. i am also, regrettably, going to make that everyone else's problem.

my current interests are: undertale and AUs, my original characters (L).

some fun little background: i've been writing seriously since i was in high school and have had my work published before! i was an english major in college to become a creative writer for a career before realising that i was absolutely going to kill my love for writing if i did that. so, i switched majors, dropped out, blah, blah, blah... now i'm an english major again. TAKE TWO BABYYYYYY. i still write frequently, and, if i can promise you nothing else, i can promise you good grammar LOL.

that said, i've decided to dedicate this blog to publishing my work and maybe taking some fun little requests for those of you that have excellent ideas but don't really want to write.

i tend to write anywhere between 1k to 10k words, though most of what i post here will probably be on the shorter side while the longer stuff will be linked on my ao3.

feel free to send requests!

before you do, though, please heed my boundaries listed below:

WILL WRITE:

angst, hurt/comfort (if your request contains triggering content that i'm not feeling at the moment, i reserve the right to deny!)

fluff

violence/gore

ship content (NOT proship. the ship must be legal and morally acceptable)

multiple characters

WON'T WRITE:

ANYTHING PROSHIP

18+ content (flirting and jokes are acceptable, within reason, but i will not be writing anything explicit)

problematic content (racism, homophobia, abuse, etc)

anything glorifying mental illness

x readers/self-inserts. i write exclusively in third person with characters that aren't directly tied to someone (unless you are my friend. hi ily friends), sorry

feel free to reach out if you just want to rant too. i need more friends into the shit i like </3

EXTRA

blog tags:

#blaise writes - my writing

#blaise draws - if i dare to post my art

#blaise rambles - when i have shit to say without writing it LOL

#blaise reblogs - my reblogs, i'll try to be sparse and keep on topic but please feel free to blacklist

my ao3:

[carrotcouple]

In the time that I've been gone from Tumblr. Like what's it been? Five years? More than that? I've become a full fledged One Piece fan (I always was but now there is so much Luffy shaped merch I own I think at some point he'll take over my room and kick me and my roommate out). And I've started playing genshin impact. And it's like I know I know, Sunny is playing Genshin Impact oh my God another of the good ones bites the dust.

Regardless of anyone's opinion on Genshin I've been having fun. And I want to talk about One Piece more (but I'm actually writing a full blown in depth essay about how One Piece quite literally saved my life - I know sounds cheesy but I promise it's important). Anyways not the point. Right now I'm going on a rant about Wanderer/Scaramouche from Genshin Impact.

Why? Because it's 1 am and I'm insane at this time of the night. And also because it's been a long fucking while since I've not only related to a character this hard but have felt physically in pain when I think about what a fictional character has gone through. (This post is totally not sparked by my wife sending me art of Scara dangling from Shouki no Kami).

The absolutely gut wrenching amounts of emotions when I think about him, man. I've been thinking a lot about his likely gender dysphoria, his body dysphoria in general, the way he views himself, the way he views others, his concept of self worth.

I've been thinking about the evil so many people say he's committed but they will write off the evil of others because THEY'RE NOT HUMAN THEY CAN'T BE JUDGED BY HUMAN STANDARDS. Well neither can he. Not to say he hasn't committed atrocities. But the double standard y'all.

The way losing people important to him nearly destroyed him and forced him to recreate himself.

The way he strived to become something of worth, to live up to expectations that people long believed he had failed. And yet he tried. And yet he still failed.

Because he was always perfect as he was. He didn't need to live up to a standard that someone else set for him and then decided he was unworthy of it without even staying to watch.

It's like looking into a mirror. It's awful. I hate it. I love him.

This post has already become incredibly personal but! It's 1:30 am and I am not going to tag anything fandom related. If you've seen what I'm trying to say, good for you. If you haven't. Well I'm not gonna explain it.

Eventually the One Piece essay will get here and I'll have dumped out my whole heart and stomach and liver and intestines into that essay for the whole world to see.

Until then, this is it for crazy and uncomfortably personal 1:30 am rambling.

[notasapleasure]

👏👏👏 oh yes, all of this!

I didn't want to hijack your post, elwen, but tumblr has a tag limit now I guess, so the following tag ramble was extracted from my drafts so I could finish what I was saying. Basically, uhhh, I agree (though I don't think it's because of the novelisation so much as the backstory in all the associated material disney released - perhaps we might call it the Edwards backstory vs the Gilroy backstory, and I'm gonna try not to get into all that but. we know the rewrites had a big impact on the characters and narrative of R1, and I know a bunch of R1 fans act like they'd rather have the Edwards edit for shipping reasons, while the film we got is undoubtedly better for Gilroy's influence). I say all this as an avowed rebelcaptain shipper (though ship and let ship, I'm a multi these days I guess) who was there from the start, who loves R1 and Andor, and who's uh, honestly a bit sick of people on both 'sides' acting like their version is intrinsically better or like canon only has space for one or the other.

😏😏😏 #what a wise post #cassian is going to be the most unreliable narrator of his own life! #i have seen people claim andor erased his background as a child soldier #apparently missing where he's sent from juvie into war as a teenager - but maybe they take luthen's version at face value too? #i find that i don't like to hear gilroy's reasonings for a lot of what he does - e.g. using cassian as an example of #'how far can i remove this person from where they end up to show their journey there' #but word of god always gets my back up and i find gilroy often insufferably smug #it's nonetheless helped me think about what i love about andor differently - while i am a R1 fan who needed time to come to terms with #the slow first episodes (a feature not a bug i agree now and a good one a refreshingly unusual one) #and the way the community around him works - gilroy's 'what would it take to make a guy like that into a guy like THAT' #relies overwhelmingly on the people around him and those he meets - the community of ferrix is such a crucial foundation in that #giving him support and guidance - even when he doesn't want to hear it - that you can imagine running through all that comes after #same with nemik and gorn and kino and melshi and all the others he meets - each meeting is what's important for me rather than the events #also i think there was a trend in R1 fandom - that always left a bad taste in my mouth - to…over-militarise the rebellion? #to look at the yavin base and see the organisation and ranks and cassian's straight back talking to draven and… #to imagine it like a modern formal coughus military set up #and i love that andor shows that despite the need for rank and order - it's not that simple. the rebellion is flexible and pragmatic #it has to be. i don't imagine that the disagreements on how things are run end when luthen and saw are not longer involved #ALSO lbr the R1 fandom was always notoriously bonkers about the 'i've been in this fight since i was six years old' scene #i've been in this fight since the beginning! i've seen people claim that scene makes jyn racist makes cassian sexist i've seen attack ships #on fire off the shoulder of orion….etc… #i love that scene in R1 but i ALWAYS felt neither of them was fully telling the truth about themselves that's them that's who they are!! #it's deliberate button-pushing because they know what will push the other's buttons because they know each other they're painfully similar #jyn says something meant to hurt - the stormtrooper line. and it works! it hurts! so he says something cruel back #he knows her background he's read her file - he knowsshe was in the fight at six years old like it or not and yet she apparently walked away #with the andor background you can see that was his impulse too - but since then in R1 he's had the chance to come back of his own adult will #both of them are using their own pain about their past (jyn's dad is no stormtrooper but he did wear an imperial uniform) to hurt the other #*oh and i didn't really follow up the rambling military tags but i think that fed into R1 fans liking to see cassian as #representative of a stable institution. someone who's been in a framework of strict rules requiring strict behaviour from him for years

So yeah following on from the tags what was I gonna say…I think it's a struggle to see Cassian so aimless - I found that tough on the first viewing, too. And I *do* think the show is still settling into stride in the first episodes, and sometimes it feels like Cassian is a character being moved from convenient lecture point to convenient lecture point, BUT the best thing about the show is that it transcends that because the characters and action are so well written. It sweeps you up in it anyway, and the performances are *mwah* chef's kiss - it adds to Cassian's arc to see him so aimless in the end, trying to find meaning and direction. To think of him in R1 as someone who *chose* that path and knows how he's been moulded into a tool and has chipped away at himself to fit into that structure but it's also give him an optimism he doesn't have in Andor and a faith in the hope of it he never had before, but he still chafes at it, hope is finite, and meeting Jyn - and Bodhi and the others - jolts him out of that complacency about his thankless role and reminds him why he chose to do what he does.

I have taken time to talk myself round to this view though, and fandom hasn't really helped.

Op this isn't about you at all, but I do also have to say that while I know there's been clown behaviour from R1 fans, I think it's unfair to rag on people who are disappointed that a collective fanon was 'disproved' by canon when 1) no one expected a R1 prequel at the time it came out, it was a bit of a niche and unloved part of the SW fandom even then, 2) this new disney era of SW is meant to be internally consistent, right? We got rid of Legends, we mourned the old EU, and now we have a clean slate.... only Disney is too inept/doesn't care about consistency, they couldn't even manage it in a flagship trilogy of films, so of course they don't give a toss about it between R1 and Andor (here I'm referring to the stuff that is directly contradicted by Andor about Cassian's father, Carida etc. that doesn't come from the novelisation but from the R1 promo material 0 and that this was a KNOWING change emphasised by the reference to Fest, which I remember cringing at tbh). Yes, this is Star Wars! This is the life of a SW fan as it's always been, actually nothing has changed. You've got to choose your own version of canon and block out the versions you don't vibe with. 3) That being said, R1 fans have suffered like you wouldn't know. Read Rebel Rising. You'll see what I mean. *barf* Anyway, having had Jyn's backstory made into some twee and tidy YA adventure romance, I can see why people were disgruntled that the ideas they'd been left to build about Cassian were also swept away - and I do think that's not an invalid way of thinking about it. Gilroy deliberately wanted to remove Cassian from the person he is in R1 as far as possible to tell the resistance story he wanted to tell, and that is a good story!! But it's understandable it felt like a kick in the teeth to people who were already invested in the person Cassian was presented to be.

Ha. Insert some point about Cassian the master spy and trickster, never revealing his true self.

I don't really know how to wrap this up. Oh yeah - leftist infighting simulator!!!! We're all clowns here. We are all participating in a big budget Disney circus. Andor is well-written, but like...Disney is not unaware of its themes. Gilroy isn't some subversive genius smuggling in messages Disney disapprove of. Equally Rogue One was still kind of a mess, guys, never forget the rewrites and the production hell we'll never know about and all the bizarre inconsistencies that existed from the beginning because the merch was already made (Sergeant Erso, and ah yes, brave pilot who was certainly not a last minute addition...*reads smudged handwriting* ...Booby Root....?)

So it's hardly surprising that there are inconsistencies, but I did always think that the fun of fandom comes in taking the gaps and the contradictions and making a fannish theory to fix them, and in the case of the scene and quote in the original post (....a ....long way above...sorry...s so sorry, this got away from me I've needed to say this stuff for a while....) it's not even a reach to make them align if you want them to! I think it's sad that so many R1 fans don't want them to. And I think it's sad that a bunch of Andor fans are so sniffy about why R1 fans were left a bit bruised by the size of the gaps their fanon needed to change to fill. Though adding on the important caveat that I did come to the Andor fandom late because I worried about how I'd find it as a R1 fan, and so I probably missed some of the worst clown behaviour by R1 fans.

Anyway, bring on S2, I refuse to let myself get hurt by having any opinions on what to expect! This is a normal and good coping mechanism and I haven't been burned in the past despite my somewhat patronising attempts at diplomacy here. :)))

(I couldn't find the fandoms one but this works too)

I WANNA HEAR YOUR UNPOPULAR ANDOR OPINIONS

OH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD AND HARD ONE!!!

I have plenty of thoughts on Andor that I suspect are fairly widely held within the fandom and maybe not so much outside the fandom (like the belief that the "slowness" of the first three episodes is a feature and not a bug).

But I think maybe one take I have that might be more divisive is that - while I understand why some fans who read the novelization of Rogue One are disappointed in the changes to Cassian's backstory - I don't actually think that what Andor gives us negates the line in RO where Cassian says he's "been in this fight since he was six years old." In fact, I'm really drawn to a possible reading of that scene that Andor makes available, which is that what we see in that moment is a Rebellion-era Cassian re-narrating his life after the development of a revolutionary consciousness. While he doesn't yet understand his experiences as part of "the Rebellion's fight" at the start of Andor, after the events of season one (esp. Nemik's manifesto and the Narkina breakout and the Rix Road uprising) and what we'll see in season two, he eventually comes to see what happened on Kenari as his conscription into a fight against imperialism and fascism.

And in many ways I think that story (of someone who has to learn that they were engaged in political struggle before they recognized it) is a more suggestive model for thinking about what it takes to build resistance movements than the story of someone who could sign up to join an already-formed militant group.

[noxtivagus]

good morning

[fainthedcherry]

3 hrs spent total for sketching - and skipping my pizza time for this xD

I'm VERY happy to say, that I had a lot of fun trying to come up with some alt-designs!!!

I got the idea to draw these doodles from a blog I really like, from @shoechoe !! (sorry if you hate tags, just wanted to credit back to you and also reblog the source of inspo!!!)

I've never drawn Doppio NOR Diavolo ever before, plus I mainly draw anthros in my free time, so I put some extra effort into these in trying to make these look appealing despite my obvious time-crunch LOL!

Since unfortunately I have to go to work in order to feed myself LOL, that means I couldn't of spend the rest of my midnight on this, so this looks REALLY rough and ofc some anatomy-mistakes were ignored, but yeah! For 3 hrs, I'm p OK w/ the results!!! :o;

RAMBLE SECTION ABT ART/DESIGN PROCESS BELOW;

Hope any fans out there enjoy my weird ideas I had design-wise. xD

Diavolo was giving very oldhead punk - maybe even the gatekeepy types KLFGSDLKGDS, but I also thought about "OOH he'd probably LOVE glam-punk. Somewhere around his era too w/ 80s-90s dude probably musta LOVED David Bowie!!" So I've drawn one with glam-punk influences, the other just freely off the top of my head, on what I consider something more punk-ish xD

Oh, also I sliiightly dulled the colours,, just sliightly. If the colours look off in some way, blame my program, that prevents me from getting migraines due to bluelight. I have a filter, that sets my screen to a certain % of orange, so if colours look colder than they're supposed to...It was bc of that. xD It's 3AM here in Germany, as I write this!! :>

That was my main thought-process,,, then last second I thought "omg I also need to throw Doppio in here bc I love him too who WOULDN'T" - soO here we have emo-Doppio!! or...Emoppio I guess. xD You think his band-kid energy would've been SO off the charts, that Abbacchio could've gotten to him first instead of the other way around? ;T /hj

Honestly tho...I think bandkid Doppio and Risotto could've gotten along better than what we got. xD I can dream I guess. 😌

(JIC that joke about Korn is very specific, I know that Korn is more nu-metal and stuff pls don't behead me fellow Korn fans for a joke, Diavolo fans pls don't behead me for making a joke about KC's genera intelligence to know what music-genres are, my acoustic arse wants to make sure, to clarify it in case someone might think I wrote that down in a serious manner, I am just a court-jester throwinf tomatoes at the king basically CKSKDJ)

IMA KEEP THIS SHORT BC I GOTTA SLEEP OBV. LATE SHIFT WILL ABSOLUTELY BODY ME IN TERMS OF CONTRACTS I GOTTA WORK ON LATELY.

I'll do my best to try and catch every Dia and Doppi tag sdfjksklg, I am notoriously AWFUL at tagging my posts no matter on what platform xD

I hope I'm fine to use a fanart tag tbh I'm kinda scared bc I never draw fanart as most of my friends know,, ovo;: I am SO new to drawing fanart man. xD

I hope to Abbacchio-post some day too,, I thought of a funny comic but it's gonna take a GOOD while to draw ofc ><

i can never get over diavolo being canonically punk